#small steps are better than no steps

[thepeacefulgarden]

[tasthedelulu]

So much to study so little time

[brown-little-robin]

I think I'm in the "conscious incompetence" stage of being a social animal in the real world and it sucks so majorly. bro what do you do after you realize you're bad at socializing and then in-person interaction gets harder because you know you're failing at it now.

[rxttenfish]

no the fact that it's more efficient to breathe oxygen from the air rather than oxygen in water through gills is NOT why whales and other secondarily aquatic organisms "still have lungs".

they still have lungs because they evolved from ancestors that had lungs and did not have gills. evolution does not work towards an intended goal, it can only work upon that which you already have. the efficiency describes the way they interact with their aquatic environment and habitat compared to their neighbors who do have gills. do not get it mixed up.

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

[lucydacusgirl]

It was quite worrying walking down the main shopping streets of my city during pride and seeing that barely any of them have any pride flags or anything in the window. Rainbow capitalism will not save us but it is so unnerving when even last year most shops had some kind of bunting in the window and this year it was only three or four. Like idk it feels emblematic of a worsening or idk souring attitude towards queer people that is definitely influenced by rampant transphobia in the uk. Which is why it’s so upsetting when cis queer people join in on transphobia in hopes of distancing themselves from the current social and political undesirability of transness.

[sinnettini]

i have this thing where the more i like someone the more i ignore them or at least like. actively try to not let it show that i am paying attention to them. because i feel like if they knew how much i like them they'd be freaked out by me like oh my god why is this loser so obsessed with me. and i don't mean just crushes i mean people i am/want to be friends with. like there's some people on here who i like so much bc i think they're great people but i... basically avoid liking/rbing/replying to too many of their posts and messaging them first and stuff bc in my brain if i don't "hold back" they will find me annoying and creepy and start hating me if they don't already. and yes it does feel like a CRIME to be annoying to me. like i'd rather jump in front of a train than annoy someone i like and admire and think is cool

[prettyflyshyguy]

Pleased to announce today I have:

-Stopped doomscrolling

-Prepped and am about to mail some shop orders + go for a walk

I have yet to:

-Send a slightly scary email (its not actually scary but those that know know)

-do three other things I've been putting off

[yournewfriendshouse]

me yesterday, cleaning the shower after doing a large amount of ingredient prep: I understand the consequences of my actions!

me up all night and now walking around like an ancient crone and dropping everything because of swollen hands, agonising back and bad brain: you didn’t understand shit

[nieranddear]

Rereading the dialog that is said during suppressions. Abel specifically says 'Loved Ones' as he speaks about those in the upper layer's demise and their struggle and urging to stop as continuing on is futile. Abram says 'colleagues'. 'Coworkers'. He does refer to them as 'Friends' once as well. But every other dialog is about Carmen or generalizing and saying 'everyone' rather than specifics. It just feels odd a bit to where he uses less strong terms when referring to relations with people and then afterwards only refers to Carmen by name rather than those still existing beside him. Even when it was stated by a facet of A and others (I can only remember Hokma off the top of my head. It may be only him which would make sense) refer to A having seen them as specifically 'Loved Ones'. Which is a far stronger showing and expression of emotion to those around you.

It makes me think of how he, Abram, expressed his desires, the desire to die [see: 'sink'/'sleep' for he explicitly refers to death consistently as slumber and when bringing the dead back 'waking them up'] and stop, in that moment. He constantly brings up, in general terms, self punishment and Carmen. Guilt that is carried with Carmen. Memories of her death, her passing. Of how she left without a smile. Of how she can no longer bask in the warmth of the sun she loved to do so frequently. Yet only of Carmen in name. Never anyone else or specifics of people, generalizations when referring to others and referring to them all inside a group, as a collective. Them and then Carmen. Focused on only that. On the fact he cannot move forward. Urging to just shut the eyes and to simply Sink. To Sleep. To die. It reminds me of when one goes ahead and becomes so interlaced with suffering and grief and despair that one simply stews inside of it, spiraling down further into that single train of thought. Holding onto the image of a dead and deceased one. It feels as if, in a more crude way of saying it as I cannot formulate a different way currrently at the moment, searching of 'justification' and a fitting reason to commit suicide. [I say Justification as what I really mean to say a 'fitting reason', that reason and end seeming to Be the Only way to continue, or lack of continue, at that point to him.] Rather than saying the names or specifics of those around him, of his loved ones still inside those metal boxes, he becomes enveloped in grief and only on Carmen. Abram's mistake which he fixates the most upon. Holds deep guilt for. Blames himself for. Saying he drove her to her death. That he is leaving her behind [I didnt save the exact quote but it was generally that]. When those inside the facility are people he also so clearly values and wished to bring back as well he, at this moment, primarily focuses on Carmen. Even when he does address the others it's in a more brief manner, having two pieces of dialog on the Sephirot specifically and it only relating to his Faults relating to them than the people themself when he speaks of Carmen in a more in depth manner. Perhaps it's still the wish clinging of to not hold trust in anyone. But it feels reminiscent to when a person tries to push themself and gain 'courage' to commit suicide. Of focusing only on the guilt and regret and the mourning of one already gone, who was so near and dear whom he did all of this for in the first place his desire only stemming from her and not the project itself, especially one who also killed herself, to go ahead and die as well. Perhaps it's not even an active thing he does in his mind. It's just become so overbearing that he has now gotten stuck in that never ending loop. Using far more stronger language of the woman dead and gone who he wishes to rejoin than of those currently alive and near to him, making them feel far more distant than they actually are mentally – at least in relations and connections wise. Depression does tend to tear down what one feels towards their loved ones and how they process and view relationships causing for people to exhibit such a thing by feeling distant in a room or alone with a loved one nearby as commonly known – and physically. I'm not saying that's 'totally what it is' or the sort. More of that reading it over again just reminded me of such a thing. Nothing revolutionary but more ramblings to process it all after it ended

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Ruan Mei

[dittolicous]

i dont get hpw people can make jokes about biden being shitty right now, when its nearly guaranteed that its either him or trump who will be president.... and trump becomimg president again is just.... horrifying? like legitimately really fucking scary????? im terrified thinking about biden not doing well, not because i like biden (i do not) but because the other option is basically. a nuclear bomb.

its all fun and games until we have no one who can get enough votes or power to go up against trumps corruption. and im so fucking afraid of how we'll joke ourselves right into our graves

[aleki-lives-here]

the nothing in between

Summary:

"It didn’t feel like a dreamless slumber nor the darkness behind closed eyelids. There was no darkness, the same way there was no light. The time itself ceased to exists for eternities at a time. Mostly, there was nothing." - - - or the one in which Wei Wuxian spent thirteen years dead, and got to talk about it in the safety of Lan Zhan's arms.

[kye-865]

It’s slightly lopsided, and based on a really blurry screenshot, but I tried my hand at bookbinding because I was bored and it eventually turned into this. It’s based on rune’s flight journal, it’s not like 100% correct because the wings are slightly different and I just took a guess at the words on the front, but it’s based on that.

It’s not my best, but I am really happy with how it turned out

[peaches2217]

Aaaaaaaaah I’m SO happy at my new job so far! The park director loaded me up in her truck at one point and took an hour to just drive around and show me all of the nooks and crannies of the park, all the campsites, the trails, etc. I saw an owl taking up residence in an oversized birdhouse, and on the drive back up to the office, an adult bald eagle flew right over us! It was incredible.

The hours are gonna be a lot more consistent too! The park office is only open eight hours so I’ll be working open to close every day I work. Which means I have to learn to get to sleep earlier and stay asleep longer because I’ll now be having to get up at 6:30 every morning… 😭 But for everything I experienced today, and the promise of getting to do and learn even more? Worth it. SO worth it.

[advisortotheadvisor]

nothing worse than a YouTube video that's kind of wrong about a subject you know about