#small steps are better than no steps
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thepeacefulgarden · 9 months ago
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tasthedelulu · 6 months ago
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So much to study so little time
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brown-little-robin · 4 months ago
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I think I'm in the "conscious incompetence" stage of being a social animal in the real world and it sucks so majorly. bro what do you do after you realize you're bad at socializing and then in-person interaction gets harder because you know you're failing at it now.
#Robin processes emotions on main#I WANT to get good at socializing#I used to be better and I'm now worse >:[#in some ways. in some ways I've improved (e.g. am kinder). but I used to have more confidence and an easier time staying present#now I'm always shutting down and running away#literally I leave the room and go calm down in my room#I want to learn to regulate that impulse and become a chill person to hang out with. but How#I've been struggling lately with punishing myself for running away (not physically but with like. spirals of self-recrimination)#I think one good step would be to get mindful about praising myself for small steps again. I'll change faster if im kinder to myself#also I think seeking reassurance from the people I'm around more often even if it seems silly would be good#ALSO. a major problem I'm facing is that I am living with my parents. and my little sisters. and I don't... I... it's rough.#I used to parent my 15 (then 9) y/o little sister when my parents were gone and I still struggle with feeling Responsible For Her#so every time she's a little cringe I end up feeling like it's my fault and I'm gonna be punished for it and I don't know how to deal with#—how to deal with it#BIG SIGH#I'm TRYING to become a good adult who can help others rather than just living in desperate self-defensive survival mode forever#but it's so hard bro#and another issue is that I'm growing further and further apart from my parents' fundamentalist brand of Christianity#and feeling more and more incapable of making friends and bringing them to visit me. because I have to be perfect around my parents#how can I make friends if I can't offer them hospitality??#how can I be a fully realized adult if I have to hide in plain sight??#I need to move out so bad. even if I'm lonely at first I HAVE to move out#in related news my seasonal job is Over and I'm looking for full-time work! please pray for me if you're the praying type or just#send me encouraging words#that would help#<33333 I will be ok it's just a bad situation rn
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bunnyflawz · 4 months ago
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#the appointment at the psychiatric went well#and he is very easy for me to talk to which is so rare#and he really is a skilled therapist...#i felt a bit lighter after.. the waiting list is still at least a year but cant do anything abt that ..#afterwards i took a detour on my walk home#and stopped by this garden/park in my city#and there were soooooo many birds!!!!!!!#it made me so so happy to just spend some time with the birds#i stood and silently observed them for a while so as they walked around on the ground to find food#they walked right by me and around me#and looked up at me waiting to be given food T-T#i love birds they are so sweet and cute and cool#it makes me so sad how ppl treat them :(((#w my social anxiety and avpd it is hard for me to even feel allowed to exist as i want lol#but after talking w the therapist that actually allows me to exist i felt a tiny bit better#so i didnt care if ppl thought i was weird for standing and looking at the birds so long or giggling bc they were cute#like i get that it sounds weird and lame to do that. like ppl think it's weird that animals make u happy ...#but idk .. birds are better than people 😹 i think it's sad that humans care so little for animals#i also am not good at taking photos around ppl bc i get so anxious and paranoid lok#lol*** so the fact that i could even bring my phone out to take a few poorly taken pics is one step forward 😹#they were so cute tho and there were so many and it was a small moment of joy and i wanted to rmbr it 💗#diary
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rxttenfish · 3 months ago
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no the fact that it's more efficient to breathe oxygen from the air rather than oxygen in water through gills is NOT why whales and other secondarily aquatic organisms "still have lungs".
they still have lungs because they evolved from ancestors that had lungs and did not have gills. evolution does not work towards an intended goal, it can only work upon that which you already have. the efficiency describes the way they interact with their aquatic environment and habitat compared to their neighbors who do have gills. do not get it mixed up.
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advisortotheadvisor · 4 months ago
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nothing worse than a YouTube video that's kind of wrong about a subject you know about
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prettyflyshyguy · 7 months ago
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Pleased to announce today I have:
-Stopped doomscrolling
-Prepped and am about to mail some shop orders + go for a walk
I have yet to:
-Send a slightly scary email (its not actually scary but those that know know)
-do three other things I've been putting off
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yournewfriendshouse · 7 months ago
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me yesterday, cleaning the shower after doing a large amount of ingredient prep: I understand the consequences of my actions!
me up all night and now walking around like an ancient crone and dropping everything because of swollen hands, agonising back, and bad brain: you didn’t understand shit
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aleki-lives-here · 1 year ago
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the nothing in between
Summary:
"It didn’t feel like a dreamless slumber nor the darkness behind closed eyelids. There was no darkness, the same way there was no light. The time itself ceased to exists for eternities at a time. Mostly, there was nothing." - - - or the one in which Wei Wuxian spent thirteen years dead, and got to talk about it in the safety of Lan Zhan's arms.
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kye-865 · 1 year ago
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It’s slightly lopsided, and based on a really blurry screenshot, but I tried my hand at bookbinding because I was bored and it eventually turned into this. It’s based on rune’s flight journal, it’s not like 100% correct because the wings are slightly different and I just took a guess at the words on the front, but it’s based on that.
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It’s not my best, but I am really happy with how it turned out
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mishkakagehishka · 1 year ago
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You gotta also celebrate the miniscule wins tbh
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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year ago
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have just been introduced to a kitten named rascal who lives on my floor and whose babysitters (who are not his owner?) were trying Really hard to goad me into adopting which like. he's a little baby and he's so so so silly and he barely even bit me but like also. this cat isn't yours???? anyway if the owner's giving him up then I might finally have a cat which like AHHHHHG
#i wanna cat SO BADD#but also i dont think this is the best environment to have ANY non-tank pet tbqh#and i dont wanna have to give him away if my housing situation changes bc my parents house wouldnt work#(one of our dogs has a pretty strong prey drive and i dont wanna risk it)#also the poor guy seems a bit skittish and i think the 2 big dogs would scare him#and then there's the 'is he my cat or your cat' thing w my roommate#i think the answer would be hes my cat bc shes more ambivalent but she can actually take him home so like#and ive pretty much been banking on going home after college anyway so like??? in the long term where would he go???#but also my dogs are getting older.. maybe by then they'll be gone and that problem'll go away#but hell my room there's bigger than my dorm room so even if we kept him in there it'd be a better space than here#it'd be a step up#ugh idk. i think it's a bad idea to have a cat in rooms this small in general. but i don't wanna see him go to a shelter either#like he's young and cute so maybe it'll be easier for him but he's also not super cuddly with strangers as far as i can tell#idk... im worried about him.... poor little rascal#like one of the girls mentioned being mean to him and i dont want him to be mistreated#like shining lights in his face and stuff#idk... sigh......#im considering transferring schools at some point. worst case scenario is i go somewhere they dont allow pets and i have to#either find a foster parent or give him away completely#but i really dont wanna have to do that if i can help it. i never want to put a pet that loves and depends on me in a situation like that#much less me like id bawl my ass off#but if theyre treating him bad then even if my situation isnt perfect wouldnt taking him in be in the right anyway?#but how long does that stand for? until i can find him a better home? ughh
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clownaura · 6 months ago
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i paid off a card that went to collections 🎉
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acourtofquestions · 6 months ago
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Hearth to hearth, the Flame of War went.
Over snow-blasted mountains and amongst the trees of tangled forests, hiding from the enemies that prowled the skies. Through long, bitterly cold nights where the wind howled as it tried to wipe out any trace of that flame.
But the wind did not succeed, not against the flame of the queen.
So hearth to hearth, it went.
To remote villages where people screamed and scattered as a young-faced woman descended from the skies on a broom, waving her torch high.
Not to signal them, but the few women who did not run. Who walked toward the flame, the rider, as she called out, "Your queen summons you to war. Will you fly?"
Trunks hidden in attics were thrown open. Folded swaths of red cloth pulled from within. Brooms left in closets, beside doorways, tucked under beds, were brought out, bound in gold or silver or twine. And swords-ancient and beautiful—were drawn from beneath floorboards, or hauled down from haylofts, their metal shining as bright and fresh as the day they had been forged in a city now lying in ruin.
Witches, the townsfolk whispered, husbands wide-eyed and disbelieving as the women took to the skies, red cloaks billowing. Witches amongst us all this time.
Village to village, where hearths that had never once gone fully dark blazed in answer.
Always one rider going out, to find the next hearth, the next bastion of their people.
Witches, here amongst us. Witches, now going to war.
A rising tide of witches, who took to the skies in their red cloaks, swords strapped to their backs, brooms shedding years of dust with each mile northward.
Witches who bade their families farewell, offering no explanation before they kissed their sleeping babes and vanished into the starry night.
Mile after mile, across the darkening world, the call went out, ceaseless and unending as the eternal flame that passed from hearth to hearth.
"Fly, fly, fly!" they shouted. "To the queen! To war!"
Far and wide, through snow and storm and peril, the Crochans flew.
#Chapter 65#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Manon Blackbeak#no spoilers please first read along with me#spoilers in post and tags with more notes reactions quotes annotations etc in tags#Dorian had gone to Morath. Had flown from the camp on wings of his own making.#He would have chosen some sort of small ordinary bird Manon knew. Something even the Thirteen would not have noted#Crunching snow told her Asterin approached. He left didn't he. She nodded unable to find words. — she knew. East not North.#She had offered him everything and had thought he'd meant to accept it. Had thought he did accept it#She had offered him everything and had thought he'd meant to accept it. Had thought he did accept it. Yet it had been farewell.#He would not cage her would not accept what she'd given. As if he knew her better than she knew herself. Do we go after him?#Today-today they would decide where to go. Today she'd dare ask the Crochans to follow. — The Last Crochan Queen The Witch-Queen#to head back into hell The sun rose full and golden as if it were the solitary note of a song filling the world. — for him she would#Terrasen calls for aid! A young Crochan's voice rang through the camp. — but for her people — THEY GOT THE CALL — GO NOW#Even if she'd needed it waited for it. The Flame of War. What say you Queen of Witches? A challenge and a dare. Manon lifted her chin to -#-the two paths before her. one to the east to Morath the other NORTHward to Terrasen and to battle. The wind sang and in it she heard the#answer. I shall answer Terrasen's call Manon said. Asterin stepped to her side fearless as she surveyed the assembled camp. As shall I.#And so it went. Until the leaders of all seven of the Great Hearths stood gathered there. — I’m not crying ur crying — fire bringer#Rhiannon Crochan rode at King Brannon's side into battle. So has her likeness been reborn so shall the old alliances be forged anew.#Light the Flame of War Queen of Witches and rally your host. — the eternal flame — darkness will not claim them#Even the wind did not jostle the flame as Manon lifted it a torch in the new day. The Crochan crowd parted revealing a straight path toward#Bronwens Hearth. ​Each step was a drumbeat of war. An answer to a question posed long ago. Your Queen summons you to war. — Hearth to Heart#Then and only then did the young scout from the final clan take her burning torch grab her broom and leap into the skies.#To find the next clan to tell them the call had gone out. — nothing but a smoldering speck against the sky then nothing at all. — Hope.#Manon offered a silent prayer on the wind that the sacred flame the young scout bore would burn steadfast over the long dangerous miles.#All the way to the killing fields of Terrasen. Hearth to hearth the Flame of War went.#Fly fly fly! they shouted. To the queen! To war! Far and wide through snow and storm and peril the Crochans flew.#Terrasen calls for aid — so they follow. — Hold on LysAedion come on Aelin — I’m not crying I’m just crying — NOW GO QUICK#The true Witch Queen child of peace and war Manon Blackbeak of the Thirteen & Rhiannon The Last Crochan Queen
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rivertakis · 6 months ago
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walked home with a classmate
right after getting home i was hype because.... *checks notes*.... "im cool enough for someone to want to hold a conversation with me."
wow, having low self esteem for years has really done a number on my standards
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heliianth · 7 months ago
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the dark evil wizards have afflicted me with a hyperspecific interpretation of killuas "moral conflict" which leaves a lot of fan content that tries to engage with it unsatisfying. a wicked and foul hex indeed
#sometimes i feel mean for it too bc like on the surface whenever i try to articulate it. it feels like a Less Charitable reading of him#yk#but like im just being fr. i think people think killua gaf abt murder more than he rlly does. its why i cant get into the 99 version of him#& when i say that i mean the whole. feeling megaguilt over killing ppl and thinking Thats the reason why hes a terrible person#like thats his previous job. may as well have been a 9-5 he dont care. the self-hatred comes from ingroup trait prescription#the zoldycks manipulation is mostly about isolation & control so a lotta killuas issues are with social categorization and feeling powerful#at least to me yk its wayyy more about like. how the outgroup perceives him. more than any moral gripe with killing#he hates the alienation it makes him feel small and out of control. the only way he knew how to regain power was thru violence#and he re-encounters this issue when the needle starts acting up in front of ppl he cant just step on & violence stops even being an Option#most of killuas growth is learning that there are Other Options. other things that can & will make him feel better & wont get him shunned#likeeee this is most of why he likes gon so much at first. bc gon dont rlly gaf in a way that makes him part of the defined outgroup either#therefore he was super accessible to killua when he hadnt yet understood that making friends kinda means hes gonna have to conform a little#very little kid way of thinking. which works out cuz hes 11 lmfao#heliichats
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