#small post top

[gayvampyr]

i love hearing gay relationships mentioned so casually. “his husband,” “her girlfriend” said without it being a Thing, no one making it feel weird or abnormal. i know it shouldn’t be much to ask but still it just makes me happy. it reminds me that we can be ourselves and find happiness and acceptance 🩷

[affordablelighting1]

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[ptr-sqloint]

lab grown angel wip

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

joking aside, I love this site. I have learned so much from this site. I have received so much love and support from this site, and I hope to be here for years to come (especially now that we accidentally won Least Worst Social Media Platform, despite our very best efforts)

that being said, taking a break was really helpful for me mentally. it made me realize how much pressure I was putting on myself to keep people entertained so they would like me. I'm talking like, 'rereading & editing a single dumb shitpost a dozen times a day' levels of overthinking.

So yeah: I love it here, I plan to keep making people (and myself) laugh, but going forward I'm going to be putting less pressure on myself to be as entertaining/active as i used to aim for. Less "I choked on my gogurt" levels of humor, more "sensible chuckle." (sometimes I may even indulge in a joke that purposefully fails to resonate with the audience! it will be quite a mischievous little treat for me 🤭.)

anyways please be patient if my posts lack a certain pizzazz going forward. the pizzazz is out of stock. no there is none in the back room. the pizzazz is on back order ok. no I'm not paying for expedited shipping. our supplier is experiencing a shortage. pizzazz is a controlled substance, do you have no understanding of the paperwork involved? piss off with your piddling pizzazz

TLDR if you think my posts were mediocre before just u wait sweetheart you ain't seen nothing yet. (they are going to get worse. what I'm saying is they are going to get even more underwhelming. i feel good about this.)

[ryan-sometimes]

Recently I’ve been getting anons and comments doubting the validity of some of the stories I tell on here. There’s nothing I can do to convince you that the stories I tell on here are completely genuine. All I can say is that they really are. I only post the wackiest, most interesting or funny stories of my life on here. You don’t get much of the boring day to day stuff.

Truth is, I come from a very long line of crazy people. When my dad was in med school he and some friends planted a small homemade bomb in an abandoned bathroom at their university. His roommate stole a pancreas from the corpse lab and put it in a girl’s backpack. The entire med school was suspended because no one owned up to it. My uncle would sneak out at night with my grandma’s car and she’d find out because she’d check the mileage and see it’d gone up, so my uncle started driving her car backwards since that didn’t increase the mileage. He got arrested driving her car backwards on the highway to another town. My uncle would steal my grandpa’s shotgun, tell his friends to jump in the pool, and start firing it randomly at the backyard. My cousin genuinely had two weed smoking girlfriends who were also girlfriends with each other. My great uncle had an affair exposed by having his intimate photos and videos with his mistress sent to the family groupchat by people who stole his phone, all because they were salty that my aunt told them to go fuck themselves when they messaged her asking for money. My aunt took out all her life savings and moved to another state to build a bunker because she believes the apocalypse is coming, and she didn’t even take any of her children. I don’t know how to tell you this, but life is just stranger than fiction sometimes. The sample size of life stories you get on my blog are just the instances in which that’s true.

[serinsola]

[godsfavoritescientist]

I am drowning in content, I can't stop thinking about them, somebody, please, help me,

[crystalpallette]

frye inspires this sort of manic "i can do whatever i want" kinda will in people and god. I sure did do whatever I wanted here

[steamclouds]

Inveniam viam!

Voradras loves to cast Misty Step when he fights, much to his familiar Noodle's dismay

[emry-stars-art]

Whalemack!

He’s a gray/grey whale, very nice and VERY big (though about half the size of a blue whale). He’s been mostly solitary for a while, sometimes joining other whales on their migrations, but then he starts collecting little mer children that make travel hard. I’ll probably add some scars from boats/etc to this design. And we need to figure out if mers have tattoos 🧐

[lemonisntreal]

okay @biaweck brought this old piece to my attention in their recent post, and also made me go through all my old uploads to double check [horrific]. But apparently I never actually uploaded this one, so:

My bad! 😛

This was started all the way back on January 27th of 2023, so it's like a whole year and a half old. Honestly, didn't age too horribly, I might redo this one at a later date [also Mike smokes, and you can't convince me otherwise [well kinda [see tags]]]

This redesign also REALLY needs an update or two, it was really hashed together at the time [which is a reason why it wasn't ever uploaded, if I were to guess]

[lazycranberrydoodles]

BEEF EEF!!!!!

follow to put more gods into cute outfits 🌸

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Barnaby deserves caterpillar smooches.

so!!! True!!!

[sopuu]

combining the lukas has slow mornings headcanon with jesskas

they kiss again under the cut btw. just in case you don’t want to see that. or in case you do 🤨

[serinsola]

[whohasthecards]

They didn't even notice he was gone the first four days. The first day was a Friday, everyone was everywhere, rushing to get shit done to enjoy their weekend. Next two days were the weekend and the group was scattered. Sure, a couple of them were in the Hard Deck, but it wasn't unusual for Hangman to miss out for a while. Heck, one of them could have sworn they saw Hangman leaving the bar, a lady charmed by his side. The fourth day was the same as the first, everyone was busy, the group didn't really have a reason for all of them to be together.

The fifth day had a scheduled lecture with Mav, followed by a hop.

Phoenix arrived 10 minutes before the scheduled lecture, eyes scanning the empty classroom, before her lips tugged into a smug smile. She beat Hangman and Rooster, today.

Rooster followed suite, plopping down on Phoenix's left.

Harvard and Yale came next, then Bob, Coyote, Fritz, Halo, Fanboy and Payback, Omaha.

Then Mav.

"Good morning, aviators, this is your captain speaking!" Mav said cheerily, sauntering in the room to set down his files at the desk.

Phoenix narrowed her eyes at the empty desk.

Late. The man is probably just late.

Hangman was never late. In reality, the man never let anyone hanging. Not for all the years Phoenix knew the man.

Navy's Golden Boy, Hangman, the perfect officer.

"Anyone know where Hangman is?" Mav said nodding his head at the empty desk.

The classroom was silent.

"Coyote?" Mav prompted.

"I don't know, sir, we messaged yesterday, but I haven't heard from him today," Coyote said, uneasily.

"Well," Mav said, pausing, "I guess he's late for the first time, I'll give him a pass as long as he shows up by the time for hops. But, I will put him to the same standard as all of you, so he'll just have to learn on the fly what you will be discussing here." Mav said giving a grin.

"He wouldn't want anything less, sir," Coyote said easily and Phoenix nodded at that.

The lecture continued, but all throughout, Phoenix noticed everyone (including herself) glance at the door every now and then. Mav, more often the others, given by the way he'd frown at the door, then scrunch his forehead at the clock above it. Coyote was discretely typing quickly at his phone whenever Mav turned towards the board. Rooster's moustache was twitching more than usual.

"Okay, guys, suit up, the groups are listed on the board, group A will go first, Coyote, if Hangman doesn't come you'll substitute for him in group C," Mav said, nodding at them before he left the classroom, and whipped out his phone.

---

When they were going to their jets, Mav told Coyote that he was going up with both groups B & C.

---

The hop ended and still no Hangman in sight.

---

Dagger groupchat 80sChickFlick: Did someone get lost going to work today? PhePhe: Come on Bagman, look alive

---

Jake-y Yesterday Wile. E: 'm goin to Coszco, need anything? Jake-y: Nah I'm good Jake-y: Maybe does fruit snacks... Wile. E: Got them for you Today Wile. E: Come on man where you at? Wile. E: jake jake jake Wile. E: Come on, man, just reply, please? Jacob Jake-y: me good, really, jus tire Wile. E: Give me more than that, buddy, do you need anything?

---

To: pete.mitchell@somemailending.com From: james.jameson@someemailending.com Subject: Absent - Lieutenant Commander Jacob Seresin Good day Captain Mitchell, Lieutenant Commander Seresin called at 0743 hours stating that he is sick and will not be at work today and potentially tomorrow. Regards, Ensign Jameson

---

Coyote and Mav both arrived in front of Hangman's apartment at the same time, they stared at each other awkwardly.

"Great, I was worried I was going to be overstepping, but with you here, I can just say I was tagging along with you," Mav said brightly as he clapped Coyote in the back.

Coyote snorted, "Sure, Mav," he said as he turned back towards the door and knocked loudly. "JAKEY, WAKEY WAKEY, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, BUDDY!"

"Jesus, kid, didn't expect you to that set of lungs in you," Mav muttered.

They waited a few seconds, not hearing any response. Coyote knocked again before shrugging and pulling out a key and used it to open the door.

Mav didn't question it.

Pretty small apartment. Empty. Bare. Kitchen on one side, living room on the other. A small table was right beside the door, Jake's car keys, wallet, and a picture of two young midshipmen, laughing together. A door at the end of the small room, Coyote went to one of them and knocked loudly, once again.

"Jake!" Coyote shouted before twisting the door knob, letting out an exclamation of surprise when it twisted open and forward. Coyote dashed into the room, "Jake!?"

Mav immediately set down the plastic bag of food he brought in the kitchen counter before going inside the room after Coyote. He saw Coyote already sitting at the edge of a bed, fuzzing on a half-awake Hangman, burritoed up in blankets, messy hair, blinking slowly as Coyote cupped a palm on his forehead.

" 'Avy?" Hangman croaked out, voice sounding like glass.

"Good morning to you, buddy, how long have you been feeling sick?"

Hangman took a deep breath to answer, and Mav winced in sympathy noticing how the boy had a hard time breathing and was sniffling hard, as if he was congested. Very congested.

"Here, kiddo, blow your nose, first," Mav said handing Jake the box of tissues from the bedside table.

Jake slowly propped himself up on the headboard and blew, hard. But his congested sniffles still remained after a whole minute of mucus ejection.

Jake blushed as he looked at both Mav and Javy then looked down at his lap, "Sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for, except for not telling me how long you've been sick, how long has this been going on?" Javy said, collecting the used tissues and quickly disposing them.

Jake furrowed his brow, "Dunno, headache Friday, then slowly got worst, was the worst today, thought I'd be better by today, swear," Jake muttered.

"Okay, kid, where's your thermometer? Did you drink something?"

"Don't have a thermometer, drank some day cold/flu pill things, didn't know they made day and night pills," Jake said flopping back down in bed.

"Did you eat?" Javy asked.

"Don't want to, not hungry," Jake said, turning away from them in bed.

"Well you got to, buddy, I brought some soup, Ice made, it's some bone broth," Mav said laying a gentle hand on Jake's shoulder trying to coax him to turn back.

"No, tired," Jake whined.

"Jacob, come on, dude, you gotta eat," Javy said rolling his eyes.

"Javy," Mav said evenly, "Why don't you heat up the broth, I'll take care of him here in the meantime, just microwave it."

"Okay, Mav, you deal with grumpy over here," Javy said patting Jake's head before leaving, easily dodging a clumsy swat that headed his way.

Mav chuckled at his boys before moving closer to Jake, "Okay, Jake, you have to sit up, don't know how you can breathe, lying straight down."

"It's not comfy sitting up," Jake muttered.

"You'll be able to breathe, and I'll make it comfy, buddy, just wait a bit." Mav said dashing to the living room to grab some couch cushions. "Okay, buddy, help me out here, just get up for a bit."

Jake grumbled, but complied, slowly sitting up, and Mav immediately placed the cushion behind the boy, helping him settle in and tucking the blanket back up high on his shoulders. Mav placed the back of his hand on the boy's cheek, frowning at the heat emanating from it.

"Where's your bathroom, buddy?" Mav asked and Jake pointed at the door across the bed.

Mav quickly went inside, and found a small, clean, towel which he immediately drenched with cool water, and wringed it out. He sat back down on the edge of the bed, where Jake was staring back at him, eyes half-closed.

"Just need to cool you off a bit, okay?" Mav smiled gently running a hand through Jake's hair and Jake nodded a bit.

Mav started gently wiping Jake's face with the damp towel, continuing down to his neck, leaving the towel to rest there. Mav ran a hand through Jake's hair and kept at it before Javy came in 5 seconds later with the soup.

"Food's here, buddy," Mav said, scooting beside Jake, to help prop him up more, with an arm behind the boy's shoulders.

Javy went to Jake's other side and held up a spoonful of soup to Jake's lips, quieting Jake's potential protests with a raised brow. Jake grumbled as he sipped the broth, resting his head on Mav's shoulder every now and then. Javy feeding Jake a spoonful of broth at a time until the bowl was empty.

"Want some more, buddy?" Javy asked, and Jake shook his head no, hiding his face in Mav's shoulder, making Mav chuckle and run a hand through the back of the boy's hair.

"How about a water to wash it all down, then, son?" Mav asked as Javy handed him a water bottle, already cracked open for his brother.

Jake looked up, as Mav brought the bottle up to his lips, making sure that Jake won't choke as he drank his fill, before turning his head away indicating that he was done. Resting his head back on Mav's shoulder, eyes closed.

Mav looked up to see Javy frowning in concern, his forehead scrunched up in worry.

"He'll be okay, Javy," Mav said evenly.

"He didn't tell me," Javy muttered.

"Stubborn." Mav said beckoning Javy to come closer. "But he was able to let his walls down because of you."

Javy walked over to Mav's other side, where Mav immediately tugged Javy down, making Javy yelp as he bent over as Mav hooked his other arm around Javy's shoulders to bring the boy down to kiss him in the temple. Letting him go to stand up straight, but not letting go of his hand.

Mav smiled up at the boy's shocked expression, "You're a good big brother, son." Enjoying as Javy's faced flushed.

---

Mav bundles both of them back to his and Iceman's house for some (a lot of) TLC.

Phoenix visits Hangman's apartment after they left, calling Javy in worry as Hangman isn't answering the door. Driving quickly to Mav's house once she found out where they were.

Most of the Dagger Squad visits.

Jake is back in the air in a few days.