#slurs in season one!!! multiple of them!!!!
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i feel like im blocked by at least half of ii tumblr which idc about really but i do think its funny that i know FOR A FACT the only reason people have me blocked is bcuz i dared to post positively about Inanimate insanity the show this community is literally dedicated to. and give the benefit of the doubt to the creators who btw i was proven right about. like they literally hate me for liking the show that all of our blogs are focused on they cannot fucking STAND me
#its annoying though cuz i cant reblog posts from most of ii tumblr cuz everyone has me fucking blocked even though theres some good art#everyone is so damn negative on tumblr especially#people on twitter also have me blocked obvs but thats for a variety of reasons like bcuz of an annoying post i made/they dont like my art#i used to follow or be mutuals with someone they disliked etc#i would never deny that im extremely annoying and i have blocked people for a lot less so i get it 100%#but i also know that people blocked me for defending ii bcuz thats when i started getting a lot of anon hate about it#shouldnt even have to say this but like.... im not talking about defending racism ableism or transphobia from the crew#or in the history of the show i think talking about that constructively is a good thing. they removed most of it now but there were like#slurs in season one!!! multiple of them!!!!#i always support discussing that stuff and how it impacted the show and the community but people just like hate season 3 hate the crew#think theyre money-hungry people who dont care about art and are trying to exploit their fans and community#and that every episode of inanimate insanity is awful even though THEY CONTINUE TO STAY IN THE COMMUNITY??#its gotten a lot better since season 3 ended cuz i think that was a big problem for a lot of people but im still blocked :(#anyway i dont reblog much in general but i especially dont reblog from osc creators because i literally cant lmfao#txt
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SEASON NINE FINALE WAS WILD. I HAVE MANY MANY THOUGHTS. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER FOR SURE
#theo.txt#I DID NOT REALIZE DEMON DEAN WAS NOW#DESPITE KNOWING THAT YEAH HE LOOKS ABOUT THAT AGE OR WHATEVER IN THE SCREENCAPS IVE SEEN#WHEN I TELL YOU I CHEERED AT THE END WHEN I REALIZED WHAT WAS GOING ON!!!!! i love crowley pulling some bullshit at the last minute. classi#king of hell shit#and in the end scene where it's just mark sheppard's stellar monologue and the EYELID NOISE... chefs kiss that got me so hyped for s10#i do think this finale got me really interested to see what s10 brings generally#AND DOESNT ROWENA SHOW UP THIS SEASON?? WE LOVE TO SEE IT IM EXCITED#rip gadreel though he was an interesting character. sad he had to die just to prove a point and blow up a cell. but a fitting end ig?? :(#i also loved cas's plan at the end though with the angel radio thing. get his ass lol#but also god i felt so bad for him. can the narrative give him a fucking break. he is trying his god damn best#the curse of free will and the curse of loving. painful but you do it anyway. castiel when i get my hands on you#also if i am not mistaken... the shot parallels to sams first death with deans death... we cry#IS SAM JUST GONNA BE ALL ALONE NOW?? I ASSUME CROWLEY TAKES DEAN WITH HIM?#OH NO 😭😭😭 SAM BABY IM SO SORRY#not that he doesnt always have a rough time but he has a particularly excruciating season. someone give this man a hug#i feel for him very deeply#'i lied' 'ain't that a bitch?' got me. i hate them. SOOOO brothers.#anyway#AAAAAAAAUGH#also why was metatron the worlds number one destiel shipper at the end of the season here im DEAD. MULTIPLE pieces of dialogue hes like 'yo#did it all for HUMANITY... for your ONE HUMAN of CHOICE... the HUMAN who motivates you...' JUST CALL HIM A SLUR WHY DONT YOU#im dead#idk what the general community thoughts are on that episode but i did enjoy it. wild fucking ride from start to finish#s9 wasnt my favorite and definitely did not hook me in the second quarter for some reason. def was not as compelling as like s7 for me but#the points that i liked i really enjoyed#loved sam resorting to summoning crowley. he wants his ass dead SO bad. i think sam deserves the world after the shit he was put through#this season#anyway overall. i am gnawing on the walls and pacing around my room at incredible speeds. what is UP with this show.#man.
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sticky | kim minji
things between you and minji are... sticky this summer.
— childhood friends to lovers, summer trip, soccer player!reader, slowish burn, lowkey bromance, futchish READER 💜
contains : cursing, kinda slight makeoutism, a lot of bro and dude, just a little bit of angst but i promise its literally nothing, NOT proofread at all i am tireeeddd
wc: 13.7k words
inspired by : Sticky — KISS OF LIFE
You're not really sure how you got here.
You’re watching the sunset at the beach with Kim Minji, your hand in between hers and the sand below you, your face two inches from her own, your lips two seconds away from colliding.
Actually, let's rewind.
It’s summer! It's been 3 long years of being away in Seoul. A soccer scholarship was always great, and you were having a fantastic time with your teammates and classmates, but you were completely burnt out after these exhausting last 6 months.
Korea University Anam Tigers proudly win 3rd place in the U-League for the first half of the season. 5 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses. Not too bad. You did better last year, but you're sure you'll recover and bounce back during the second half. Or maybe it was the alcohol and smell of grilled beef that was making you emotional.
After you finalize your amazing speech with a broken voice and a tear threatening to leave your eye, you realize you're actually quite drunk. The applause of your teammates startles you, and they may be mocking your sentimental state with their laughs and ‘aww’s and teasing pushes, but they cheer you on anyway.
“Han Y/N!” One of your teammates, Hsu Nientsu, also pretty tipsy, nudges your left arm as you sit back down, “Don't get so sensitive with us now!”
“Our Y/Nie gets emotional when drunk, huh?” Central striker Ahn Yujin, leader of the team, pinches one of your red cheeks from across the table, action to which you groan at.
“I just…” You sigh, drowsy and teary eyes block your vision yet you can still tell all your teammates are looking at you. “I really love our team and want us to do our best…” You make a mental note to never get drunk with your team again when they coo at you for a second time.
“Well then,” Oh Haewon starts pouring you another shot (she usually would make you pour it yourself, but your flimsy arms and hung head bring out the instinct to take care of you instead), “Let's climb up the leaderboard for Leftie!” She declares as she leaves the small glass of soju on your side of the table.
You hate the nickname. Nientsu came up with it the first year of your scholarship because when you were supposed to be in central midfield you spent most of your time on the left side of the field, for some reason. Her broken Korean and teasing nature muttered the name in an attempt to mock you and everyone started repeating after. You can't complain much about it. It stuck too well.
You take the shot and grimace at the bitter taste of alcohol. You're still not used to it even after countless team dinners.
Won Haneul, your roommate, best friend and goalkeeper, laughs at your expression. The other girls have already picked up their own conversation, yet she seems very entertained at your drunken state, “Unnie, are you sure you don't want to go?” You've told her multiple times to drop the formalities, it's a one year difference; she keeps refusing.
You look to your right and you (hardly) see her looking at you worried, but still smiling. It takes a couple seconds for you to process her words. “I… I think I should go.” You slur, you're sure you'll die if you take another shot.
Haneul nods, understanding as always. “Guys, I think me and Y/N unnie are gonna head back now!” You hear your teammates complain and whine but you can't make out anything they're saying.
“I'm too drunk!” You try your best to scold them, “And I have my last class tomorrow…”
A soccer scholarship didn't mean you were just in Seoul to play soccer and get drunk with your friends. You also had to study and attend classes, like everyone else. Maybe you would've had it easier if you had chosen Physical Education as your major. But no, you had chosen Media and Communication for some reason.
At least it was the last class before break.
“Go then! Quick! Get away!” You hear Jung Sunhye drunkenly shoo you two away. It makes you giggle. You wave goodbye to your teammates with your frail arms, it makes you look like a car rental inflatable. You hear a chorus of ‘sleep well’s and ‘Bye Y/N’s.
Haneul holds you as you walk out of the BBQ place, and then a cold wave of air hits you right when you realize you have to go up the hill to get to your dorm. You don't know if the chill you get in your spine is from the cool late night air or the dread of borderline hiking while drunk.
“Haneul, I'm sorry.” You don't even want to look at her in fear of getting dizzy. You're only a few steps up the hill but you're already breathing a little heavy. However, your apologetic expression is enough for her to understand your feelings.
“It's okay, unnie!” She's such a joy to have around not only as a teammate but as a friend. You hope her kindness never leads her to getting taken advantage of. You and the other girls would ruin the life of whoever could even dare.
“I'm really grateful for you, y’know?” You probably shouldn't talk while you're rapidly growing out of breath, but you're already sentimental.
“I'm flattered.” She says with a light laugh while pushing you from behind, making it easier for you to walk upwards.
“Are you going back to Suwon this summer?” You ask after a while of more heavy steps. Haneul had also gotten a scholarship and moved from Suwon to Seoul, therefore getting to be roommates with you.
“Mhm! Gonna go see my parents.” Her voice turns a little softer and you notice even when you're mostly out of your conscious mind. “What about you, unnie? Are you gonna stay here?”
It's been three years since you left your hometown and replaced the ocean with the river. Three years since you left your friends behind. Three years since leaving your mom and dad.
Of course you missed them. How could you not? It's not like you were avoiding them, the last summers were just filled to the brim with practice and studying and everything got tangled and you didn't even leave time for yourself.
That's over, though. You can already see yourself on the shore.
And then you're at the bus terminal. Hands shaky and heavy steps, just like the ones you took walking up the hill of your dorm building. You carry your backpack at your front and hold your gym bag on your left hand. You wait in line to step inside your bus and you think you're ready to fall asleep for the whole ride.
But once you're settled in your seat, your thoughts leave you restless.
There's a fear in the back of your mind that your friends will treat you differently when you arrive.
You've been gone for 3 years, and you talk slightly less now. But the group chat is still active, and you talk with them when you're allowed the time to. It's not like you've gone completely radio silent and disappeared from their lives.
It's just scary to be back.
But the scariest thing by far is the fear of being proven wrong. The fear of still liking her.
See, ever since you were a kid running around with a ball between your feet, you've had a crush on Kim Minji.
Neighborhood pretty girl. Class president in elementary, middle and high school. Best grades in your year. The most crushable girl ever.
You remember the first day you met her. You actually think about it a lot.
You were 7, playing soccer with your friend Gyuvin on the beach at sunset hours. There was no real goal to kick the ball towards, you were just trying to steal the ball from each other and keep it as long as possible. But then Gyuvin gets a little too close to taking the ball, and in panic you pass it to your right.
But there's no one to your right. And you realize you've just kicked it towards three girls about your same age building a sandcastle.
You see the ball roll away further and further away from you and Gyuvin, and closer and closer to the castle, and the girls don't seem to notice.
You don't know why you're frozen. You could've stopped the ball by now if you had run after it. Gyuvin notices your lack of movement and becomes the one who shouts instead, “BALL!”
It seems to wake both the girls and you up from your daze, and suddenly you're running as fast as you can to catch the ball before it collides with the sand clump. And you manage to catch it.
You had thrown yourself into the sand, and the ball gets stopped by your arms. But your head crashes into the sandcastle instead. It doesn't collapse completely, and it didn't hurt that much, but it suddenly knocked you out for a few seconds.
You hear Gyuvin’s voice behind you when your mind is back in its place. “We're really sorry! We'll help you patch it back up!” You shake of the sand from your head when you sit back up, and you can finally take a good look at the three girls.
They looked pissed.
The smallest of the girls speaks, “I guess you can help. You're lucky it didn't fall on your head.” She points at you and you feel guilt engulf your cheeks with its warmth.
“Great!” Your friend helps you shake off some of the remaining sand off of your head, “Let's get to work, Y/N!”
You're confused at his enthusiasm, you were just playing soccer with him a few seconds ago and now he wants to build a sandcastle with some girls you just met? “But… we were-”
Gyuvin cuts you off, “It's the least we can do. We almost destroyed it.” It makes sense, but you're still a little reluctant. You grab a shovel anyways.
Your friend is already introducing himself when you start digging a hole into the sand, “I'm Kim Gyuvin! What are your names?”
The short girl with short hair that spoke to you before is the first one to answer, “I'm Hanni Pham! I'm from Australia but we moved here a year ago.”
“Your parents like fish, huh?” The boy's joke makes Hanni's mouth open wide and her eyes dilate a good amount.
“How did you know?!”
“I'm Seol Yoona.” Says a girl with a voice so quiet you have to ask Gyuvin what her name was right after she said it, “What did she say?”
“Seol Yoona.” He repeats, and you get back to digging with a nod, not before you give an apologetic smile to the girl.
The last girl introduces herself, “I'm Kim Minji.” You notice three things about her. Her voice is deeper than the other two girls, her eyebrows are really pretty, and she's wearing a blue clip on her hair.
All three of the girls are pretty, but if Gyuvin asks you later who you thought was the prettiest you are sure you'll say Minji.
Said girl notices you've been doing nothing but dig since you started introducing yourselves. “What's the hole for?” She says.
“I'm gonna put water in it to make wet sand. It's going to make it easier to build and harder to collapse.” And right after you say that you stand up, bucket in hand, ready to go and fetch water from the shining ocean behind you.
But just as you're about to go, the girl with the pretty eyebrows calls out again, “What's your name? You never told us.” Right.
“Han Y/N.” You tell her with a smile.
“Han Y/N.” She repeats your name back to you, like you're not supposed to know it already. It sounds pretty coming from her.
The sunset glow crashes in the sea and bounces back into the eyes of the girl. You see them glisten as she looks into yours. Your heart starts beating as fast as it was when you were running around earlier.
“Don’t ever play soccer near my sandcastles.”
You look like an idiot, laughing by yourself in your seat. It's already night when you feel the bus stop in its tracks. You realize it's slightly warmer than when you departed, even at these hours of the night.
You're here. And you're not laughing anymore.
Everything you dread is getting closer by the second, and you don't want to face it.
It's been three years since the last time you saw your friends, since you saw Minji. Three years of only speaking to her in the group chat. Three years of believing you've gotten over her when in reality you were just getting distracted.
Because if you had truly moved on you wouldn't be worrying about moving on.
You step out of your bus and smell the scent of the ocean. Your worries fade away for the rest of the night. You'll worry about that tomorrow.
You're home.
It’s around 10:30 P.M. Knowing your parents they wouldn’t be asleep right now. They’re probably watching replays of soccer matches or some strange animal documentary. Even after three years you can tread lightly towards your home. Not much has changed.
The street lights are dim, and the wooden floor boards of the port are not much louder than the last time they squeaked beneath your feet. You take a picture of the moon watching over the dancing waves, then keep walking.
You wish you don’t run into any of your friends on the way to your house. It’s not like you don’t want to see them, but it’s late, and you couldn’t catch even a wink of sleep the whole ride. You just want to see your parents and sleep in between the warmth of their bodies like you did when you were just a kid. You chuckle at the memory.
You step into your neighborhood. Most of the lights are turned off, but you can hear a couple of things as you walk deeper into the block. Crickets, waves, and a couple different TV stations.
You get closer to the neighboring house from yours. Gyuvin’s house. The lights in the first floor are off, but there’s a dim light coming from the window of the bedroom facing the street. It (probably still) belonged to Gyuvin himself. You don’t really know what he’s doing at this hour of the night, but you won’t bother him right now, even when you get the urge to text him something like ‘look out ur window’.
You hear the voice of a commentator from outside the door of your house. They were watching replays. Knew it. You think about what to do next. It’ll be too loud if you ring the doorbell, Gyuvin might notice you’re here and come around to investigate, And then you get a sudden, bright idea.
You set your gym bag on the ground and start typing your mom’s number to call her, clicking on her contact when it shows up. You take a big breath and wait for her to answer, it doesn’t take her long.
“Hello, baby! What’s going on?” There’s a twinge of worry in her voice but she always answers so happily when you call her. You chuckle deviously, mischief is about to begin.
“Hi mama! I sent you guys a surprise, I’m calling to make sure if the package arrived safely. Sorry about the time, by the way.” You try to mask the smile appearing on your lips as you talk.
“A package?” She seems confused, “I.. We didn’t get anything.” She sounds a little more concerned.
“Really? Can you check the door? Maybe it came late.”
“I don’t think it’d come this late, darling.”
“Just check, ma. Please.” You hang up. You feel a little sorry for leaving your mother bothered and confused, but you try to telepathically tell her it’ll be worth it.
Your heartbeat starts picking up its pace when you hear the door unlock. You put your phone in your pocket and pick your bag up again.
When the door opens, the first thing you notice is your mom’s disheveled hair, probably from laying on the couch and watching TV. The second thing you notice is that her eyes immediately fall on the doorstep, and she frowns when she finds nothing. The third thing you notice is that, even before she realizes you’re there, she’s already taking out her phone to call you again, but she sees a pair of shoes in front of her before she gets around to doing that.
Her eyes travel from your old sneakers to the top of your head, and then they fall back at your face. Her jaw drops and her eyes look like they hold the moonlight in them when she realizes it’s actually you.
“Y/Nie…” She’s a little breathless when she says your name, and you laugh at the sound of rustling behind her. Your dad probably heard her.
“Hello!” You simply greet. Your father appears shortly behind your mother and you send a wave at him when you see he’s making the exact same expression as her. “Am I going to be outside all night? That’s how you greet your daughter?”
Your mother throws herself at you with a hearty laugh, it makes you happy too. “When did you get here?!” She asks, a little too loud for your liking, but you won’t complain. You pull away to greet your dad, who was frozen on the doorframe.
“Just now, actually.” Your father is in shock, but he does his best to hug you back, and the hug gets tighter when he finally understands it’s really his daughter. You giggle a little at his lack of words, then tap his back a little rougher when you start struggling to breathe, “Hey! Not so tight!”
He lets go and you hear him laugh more calmly now. “Let’s go in. Gyuvin doesn’t know I’m here yet and I want to surprise him tomorrow.” Your mom closes the door behind you, and then hits you on the back, quite roughly for your taste.
“How dare you not tell us you were coming?!” She rubs the same spot where she hit you when she hears you hiss at the pain, “It was a surprise!” You argue.
“Did you have dinner?” Your dad asks already in the kitchen, and your stomach growls even before you can respond. You giggle shyly at the noise, “I’ll take that as a no.” He says, “Go sit with your mom and watch TV with her. I’ll heat up something.”
“Oh, we’re not watching anything. You’re gonna tell me everything you’ve been doing.” Your mother taps the seat beside her on the couch, which you gladly take. “How was the season?”
You’re so happy to be back.
You wake up with the sunrise.
You fully expected to open your eyes and be hugging your mom while your dad was already up in the kitchen. And that did happen, except you wake up with your back sore from falling asleep on the couch. Your dad is in the kitchen, making breakfast for you three.
You rub your eyes and yawn. It wasn’t that late, you woke up pretty early actually. 8:27 A.M. Maybe it’s because your body is used to waking up early. Your dad looks back at you and laughs at your messy hair, smiles brighter when he sees one of your mom’s arms sticking out of the couch. “Rise and shine!” He says brightly.
“Morning…” The sound of your croaky voice seems to wake up your mom, as she’s already rubbing her face.
“Smells good.” She says in the same tone as you. “Is it almost done?”
“I just finished. Come take a seat.” Your dad turns off the gas from the stove. The scent of kimchi jjigae fills your home, and it makes you feel a lot more energized even before having a taste of it.
You run your hand through your hair to try and make it more presentable. Your mother goes up to your dad to ask for a taste, he waits for her approval. You start setting the cutlery and it makes you think of the mornings before school, but rather than getting sentimental, you enjoy the moment with a smile.
“Y/Nie, do you want apple juice?” Your mom asks with the fridge open, you just nod as you sit down.
When the three of you sit down to finally eat, you start to realize how much you actually missed this. You spent your mornings in Seoul either eating a quick and not-really-filling meal, or eating an energy bar and a vending machine kimbap with your teammates before practice. You don’t remember the last time you had a hearty breakfast.
The sound of laughter and birds chirping combined with the smell of a home cooked meal and the warmth of a seaside morning couldn’t compare to any of the emotions that crossed your heart whenever you won a match.
Your mom and dad gossip to you about your neighbors and everything you missed while you were away.
You don’t find it hard to believe when they tell you that the weird old man that used to drink his nights away at the port got arrested. One of your neighbors' sons dropped out of college to be a model, Kim Sunoo apparently. Good for him, you always thought he had a pretty face.
Supposedly, Minji keeps her title as the number 1 student even in college. You’re not surprised, but you do feel full all of a sudden. There’s just a little bit of stew left when you groan, “Ah… I’m full…”
Your mom raises an eyebrow, “Already?” She looks at your bowl and laughs, “Nevermind, you finished pretty fast.”
“Do you eat well in Seoul?” Your dad asks. You feel a little flustered at the question and stutter when you answer, “I mean… not in the morning, but I eat pretty healthily the rest of the day. Me and Haneul prepare meals when we have afternoon practice. I’d say we’re pretty good cooks.”
Your parents laugh, “I guess we’ll put you to the test one day.” Your mom nudges you, “And it’s ‘Haneul and I’, by the way.”
The correction makes your eyes roll as you stand up to wash your dishes, “Yeah, yeah, grammar queen. I’m gonna go take a shower and go to Gyuvin’s to surprise him, ‘kay?”
“Aye aye, captain!” Either your parents planned to do the same move and say the same thing at the same time beforehand, or they’re literal soulmates.
You get out of the shower and choose a simple outfit- some baggy, ripped jeans and a graphic tee that you found in your closet (you asked your mom if it was clean enough for you to wear, considering the closet looked a little dusty; she said it was fine). The shirt felt a little tight around the arms and it was quite smaller than you expected, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. If anything it made the outfit more interesting.
So you stand outside your friend's house, with nothing in your hands but a smile on your face. You’re not really sure if it’ll be him or his mom answering the door, but you hope either of them will be happy to see you.
You ring the doorbell, and immediately hear footsteps get closer from inside. You don’t know if your heart is going to race everytime this happens, but you just hope you get used to the feeling. The door opens and you're met with a familiar face, Ms. Kim, Gyuvin’s mom, dressed up and ready to go to work. It’s summer, though?
“Y/Nie?” She looks delighted to see you, and yet quite surprised. “You came back!”
You give her a bright smile after you bow in respect, “Good morning, Ms. Kim! How have you been?”
She steps back in a manner to invite you inside, “Oh, I’ve been well, dear. Gyuvin told me you weren’t able to visit these past years. We all missed you very much.” Her words surprise you, and you feel a little guilt squeezing your heart for two seconds.
“I’m glad to hear that, Ms.” She walks around the kitchen, packing what seems to be a lunchbox into her bag, yet still giving you her full attention. “Are you heading to work?” You ask curiously.
“Oh, yeah.” She looks a little agitated, “They don’t give me breaks, baby. I work for the news now!”
“Oh! How has that been going?”
She stops in her tracks, “Honestly, quite great.” She says, and you both laugh together. “Does Gyuvin know you’re here? I imagine he’s who you came to see.”
“He doesn’t.” The woman looks quite surprised. “I wanted to surprise him. I arrived just yesterday.”
“Oh honey, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.” She laughs and you chuckle, “I hope not!” You say,
“He’s in his room. He’s probably still asleep, but he’ll wake up if you knock hard enough. Make sure he doesn’t think you’re me, then he won’t get up.” The woman unlocks the door, coat hanging from her arm and bag over her shoulder, when she sees you nod. “I heard you won third place this half, right?”
“That’s right, ma’am.” You proudly say.
“Go Tigers!” Is the last thing she says before she walks out of the door. What a charming woman. You smile at yourself before walking up the stairs to your friend’s room.
Knock knock. No answer.
Knock knock knock. A groan.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. A louder groan.
“Kim Gyuvin, I will bust your door down.” You yell, “You think my legs haven’t gotten stronger?”
Fast stomps and the sound of a clutter of objects falling on the ground startle you slightly. The door opens so roughly you wonder if Gyuvin himself has also gotten stronger.
“Y/N?!”
“What fell on the ground?” You chuckle. He hugs you, possibly tighter than your dad. You didn’t quite expect it, but you welcome it anyway.
He pulls away like he’s checking if you’re not a hologram. You laugh the hardest when he pokes your cheek. He looks relieved, then mad. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! When did you get here?!”
“I got here yesterday. You were still awake, I think. But I wanted to greet you properly, and I was really tired last night.” You explain with a little bit of remorse.
“Dude!” He hugs you once again, “Bro, I can’t believe you're back!” You hug him just as tightly. “I’m really happy I’m here.”
He pushes you lightly with a smirk, “Don’t get sappy on me.” He teases, “Congrats on third place, tiger.” You cringe at the nickname and push him back.
“Eww!” You both laugh, and you notice the bundle of things he has on the floor of his room, “You dropped all that?”
Gyuvin looks back, and pushes you out of his room, closing the door in shame. Unbelievable.
You hear him pick up the things and put them back in place, until he finally opens the door again. You’re right where he left you. “Get dressed. Your mom made you breakfast.”
“Wait, help me pick an outfit!” You’ve been here for less than a day and he’s already being annoying. Like always.
“Bro, I’m wearing a shirt that’s too small for me, I am not the one to ask for fashion help.”
“That’s your fault for getting swole!” You hear him yell while you go down the stairs. Maybe nothing's really changed.
You’re back at the kitchen. You look at the lonely plate at the table, it doesn’t look very appetizing. It’s not like it’s a bad meal, it’s an omelet and toast, but when you touch it it’s abnormally cold. Fuck you Gyuvin. He was probably supposed to wake up a while ago.
You take the plate and place it in the microwave, one minute should be fine. You open the fridge and snoop around to see if they still- yup, they still have a box of the triangle juice boxes you and Gyuvin always shared at school. Apple was your favorite. You’re sure he or his mom won’t mind you taking one while you wait for the food to heat up.
You take the little plastic straw attached to the juice box and stab it into the designated hole. Just as you close the fridge, you hear the shutter sound effect from a phone. You turn around and see Gyuvin already dressed up and smiling at his phone.
“Did you take a picture of me?” You ask. The microwave beeps, “That’s your food.”
“Check the group chat.” He says as he walks past you to the microwave. You take out your phone and rest your elbows on the counter when you open up the group chat. Gyuvin named it “Beach boys”, even when he himself was the only male.
You’re immediately met with a picture of you from your side, stabbing a hole into your apple juice box. You looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, but you only realize how tight the sleeves of your shirt look when you stare at the photo. “Damn…” You mutter
“Ow! Ow! Hot!” Gyuvin yelps as he walks beside you, plate in his hands. He sits down at the table while you scroll back up to check the other messages.
gyuv | 9:44 A.M.
guys Y/N got so swole its actually insane
sully | 9:44 A.M.
Well yeah shes an athlete what were u expecting
henny | 9:44 A.M.
did she post something on ig?
where is this coming from
minj | 9:44 A.M.
Good morning first of all
gyuv | 9:45 A.M.
yeah but ud expect her legs to get bigger or her thighs idk
tell me why this absolute gremlin has bigger biceps than me
i feel threatened
this feels like a bro code violation
henny | 9:45 A.M.
this feels more like you just being insecure
i checked her ig and theres nothing?
sully | 9:45 A.M.
Vin are you hallucinating be honest
minj | 9:45 A.M.
Why gremlin
If anything the gremlin is hanni
henny | 9:45 A.M.
literally so out of pocket
what compelled you to say that
gyuv | 9:46 A.M.
[1 attachment]
henny | 9:46 A.M.
Gyuvin is that ur fuckign house
is that han Y/N in your fucking house.
minj | 9:46 A.M.
What the hell
You | 9:46 A.M.
hi guys!
henny | 9:47 A.M.
Han Y/N are you in gyuvins fucking house
You | 9:47 A.M.
possibly
gyuv | 9:47 A.M.
[1 attachment]
guys im shaking theres a uleague third place winner in my kitchen
im so honored
sully | 9:47 A.M.
Omg she did get swole
Hiii Y/N
gyuv | 9:47 A.M.
RIGHT
IM SAYING LIKE
U DONT EVEM USE UR ARMS IN SOCCER
henny | 9:47 A.M.
Y/N when the FUCK did u get here
im gonna start vrying omg
You | 9:48 A.M.
i got here yesterday at night
i wanted to surprise u guys but ig gyuvin got too excited
pham hanni DO NOT CRY
hi sullyyy !!
henny | 9:48 A.M.
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
You | 9:48 A.M.
stop cursing so much omg
minj | 9:48 A.M.
This is actually crazy
How could you say nothing to us
I feel lowkey betrayed Han Y/N
You | 9:48 A.M.
IM SORRY???
so surprises are the worst thing in the world now huh
gyuvs mom was so much happier to see me than you guys fr
going back to seoul
it seems im not welcome
henny | 9:48 A.M.
Y/N actually stop playing rn
where do we meet
You | 9:49 A.M
me and gyuv will pick u guys up
were going to the soccer field
but i got money from the scholarship so we can buy stuff on the way
gyuv | 9:49 A.M.
guys just to be clear i had literally no idea she was here
she showed up at my house 20 mins ago
sully | 9:49 A.M.
Omg we can go to that antique shop thats close to our high school
henny | 9:50
literally how r u so calm abt this
minj | 9:50 A.M.
Maybe ur just abnormal
You cackle loudly at Minji's last text.
When you arrive at Yoona's house, she's already waiting for you two on her porch. She looks a little taller than when you last saw her. Her eyes light up when she sees you arrive.
“Y/N!” She runs up to you and hugs you so tightly your breath falls a little short. What's with everyone and suffocating you lately? “I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too, Sully!” You smile at her when you pull back, and the first thing she does is poke your arm. Her jaw drops in awe at the toughness of the muscle and it makes you laugh.
Gyuvin comes up behind you both with his arms open and a silly smirk, “Where my hug at?” It's quite awful. Yoona gags and sends him a distasteful look, which quickly shuts him down
You missed this. And it’s like this - full of banter and laughs - the whole way to Hanni’s house, the three of you take turns at making fun of each other, with the brief recurring tease at your job as an athlete.
Your friends like to brag about you being a college athlete, and a good one at that, but they certainly enjoyed sitting you up on a pedestal as a joke. They talked about you like you were the main star of the national team when in reality most people had little to no idea who you were even on campus, with the exception of the Yujin fans who tried using you to get close to her.
“Y/N, I promise you, when you make it on the national team, there’s gonna be a ton of fan accounts for you.” You’re in the middle of pushing Gyuvin away and blushing at his comment, about to contradict him when you hear a voice calling you.
“Han Y/N!” You don’t even realize you were already at Hanni’s house when you look towards the sound and two girls are waiting for you at the steps of a big house.
The first thing you notice is Hanni’s hair. She cut it, a fuckass (affectionately) bob that looked exactly like the one she wore the first time you ever met her.
The second thing you notice is that Minji is right beside her, already smiling at you. She stands up from the steps she and Hanni were sitting on and shakes off the dust from her pants. She wears a simple white graphic shirt and oversized blue jeans, beige puffer jacket hanging off her arms, and she looks so much taller than how she did when she was 16.
(That’s weird, shouldn’t she have stopped growing by then?)
The third thing you notice is your heartbeat suddenly racing when her eyes and yours meet for the first time in three years.
It beats at the same pace it did when the afternoon sun hit her face when you were 7. It beats at the same pace it did when you stared at her sitting by the window in middle school. It beats at the same pace it did when she sat beside you on the bus and fell asleep with her head on your shoulder.
Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.
It hits you like a bullet through your chest, but you try your best to ignore it as Hanni runs towards you.
“You asshole!” She yells with a smile on her face, and it contaminates your lips when she hugs you. She doesn’t hug you as tightly, but it’s longer than you expected. When she finally pulls away from you you touch the short strands of hair that cover her ears.
“What happened here?” You ask, watching in awe at the striking change.
“I kind of had an existential crisis last night.” She responds shyly while caressing her trimmed locks. “Minji helped me make it look better. It did not look good when I did it. They didn’t know either!” She points at the two behind you, both of them with their jaws hanging when you look back.
“Dude, you literally look seven again.” You say. You don’t mean it in a teasing way, she genuinely looks younger, but you reconsider telling her that when she hits you in the arm. Hanni widens her eyes at the unexpected roughness, “What the hell… you did get swole.”
“Can we stop talking about that?” The topic of your arms is starting to tire you, but it’s mostly embarrassing, so you groan at the mention.
You hear Minji laugh when Hanni goes up to the other two and they immediately start touching her new hair. It makes you laugh too, but you gasp a little when you feel a hand touch your shoulder.
“Hey.” She says, her god-damned pretty eyes look at you so sweetly, and her voice is so soft, and-
“Hey!” You say before thoughts about her take up your brain and you awkwardly freeze.
She smiles right before she hugs you, and it’s surprisingly warm, but you’re sure most of it comes from your own blood rushing everywhere inside you.
Everything about her is gentle, her eyes, her voice, her embrace. It’s a complete one-eighty in contrast to the tightness of everyone else who’s put their arms around you for the past two days.
“I missed you.” She says so delicately, almost quiet, even if she says it right next to your ear. And you’re about to melt, and she has no idea, so you hug her back, a little less soft than how she does, and say “I missed you too.”
It comes out a lot more calmly than you expect it, and you internally praise yourself for not making a fool out of yourself. It’s not like you want to pull away, but you might start sweating if you don’t.
You take your arms off her back and her warmth suddenly fades away. When she looks at your face again, there’s a small grin painting her lips, “Congrats on the win.” She pokes at your shoulder and you laugh at the gesture.
“It’s only third place. I want first.”
“Oh wow!” Her amused smile makes you dizzy, “Didn’t know you were so ambitious.”
“People change, I guess.” You giggle with her. But you haven’t really changed at all.
“Well, you better get first place, tiger.” She teases and you groan even louder at the nickname as you get away from her to join your friends. Maybe getting over Minji won’t be so hard.
Getting over Minji is going to be fucking impossible. Matter of fact, you're sure it’s never gonna happen. You’re going to be 45 and still think about her, and it’s going to slowly kill you.
You stare as she holds a little cow plush in her hands, inspecting it carefully. Her round eyes shine just like the glossy buttons of the doll. You think of a believable excuse before you take your phone out of your pocket and open the camera app.
You zoom in and despise how your fingers tremble before you snap a photo of the girl, unbeknownst to her.
Gyuvin comes up behind you, his voice is quiet yet it still startles you, “What’s the pic for?”
You look at him with widened eyes and bring your hand to your chest. “Just… memories.” Truth lies within your (not quite) excuse. “I want to look back on things like this when I go back to Seoul.”
The boy narrows his eyes at you and smirks, “So sappy.” He teases, so you zoom out the camera to 0.5 and take a bad close up of his face, “Hey!” He laughs.
You get away and put your phone back in your pocket to look at more of the items in the store. Many things catch your eye, small, shiny, weird, big, you could buy it all if you had the money to.
You walk around the shop, your eyes examine all the items on the old wooden tables and your fingers lightly brush on some of the more eye-catching trinkets. You stare at the little ceramic figurines of dogs and cats and other animals and mentally consider buying the little calico cat on the far left.
There are some cute keychains with little black and white designs as you pass by. You add them to your roster too. Hanni’s voice catches your attention from a few steps away.
“Y/N! What do you think of this cardigan?” She’s in the clothing section of the store, sporting a vintage cream colored wool cardigan with little brown stripes on the sides of the sleeves. It’s a little big on her, but oversized is trendy so it’s fine.
“It’s cute!” Your eyes glance towards some of the clothes behind her, “I like that one better though.” You point at the blue-gray checkered sweater behind her and she frowns in confusion when she looks at it, “Y/N, that’s so ugly.” Guess you don’t have an eye for fashion.
“Oh well…” You sigh and keep looking for more artifacts.
As you walk around, you accidentally bump the top of your head on some of the ornaments that hang on the ceiling, the sound of multiple wind chimes emerge a little before your quiet “Ow!”, which grabs the attention of Yoona and Gyuvin.
“You okay?” The girl asks in concern, but you can hear her hold back a laugh between her teeth. Gyuvin isn’t so subtle, his laughs resonating on the walls of the shop.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You assure Yoona as you rub your forehead with your eyes closed, turned away in embarrassment. When your eyes open again, they land on an item that makes you freeze a little.
A small, pale blue hair clip. It looked oddly similar, if not exactly the same as the one Minji wore on the first day you met. The clip she lost on that same day while the five of you swam in the ocean together.
You remember her being so upset when she realized it wasn’t there anymore, so much she cried silently on the way back to your respective houses. She was over the sadness of losing it in less than a week, but it stuck with you after Hanni told you in a whisper that it was the first time she ever saw Minji cry.
You immediately take the clip in your hands, the first item you’re certain you will buy. Actually, you buy it in that same instant. Thankfully, none of your friends seem to notice your quiet purchase, too engrossed in their own item search.
The five of you spend around 40 minutes in total in that damn shop, and you could kind of tell the owner was getting sick of Gyuvin’s constant questions on how he acquired the items. “They’re mostly donations or things I find on trips. I don’t know anything else.” He says.
In the end, you bought a few more things apart from the hair clip. You did end up buying the little calico cat figurine, a silver necklace with a spiral pendant, a pack of stamps with really cool designs, and a love letter.
There was a cardboard box sitting on a chair in one corner of the shop with a sign that said “Old Love Letters, ₩300 Each”, and not only is it something you’ve never seen anyone sell before, but it’s also cheap. How could you not buy a chance to snoop around in unknown people’s love lives?
You put your stuff in the little tote bag Yoona had bought for you. She said the design made her think of you (it had three monochrome fish painted over it).
Now you’re making your way towards the nearest soccer field. You used to play there all the time with Gyuvin, sometimes the other girls joined, or some of the other kids in the neighborhood.
The five of you walked with you right in the middle, like you were the center of a K-pop group. It definitely made you stand out to the locals of the neighborhoods you passed through, and some of them even recognized you and went as far as to congratulate you.
Did your parents tell the entire town about your rank in the league?
“It’s like I’m walking with a celebrity.” Hanni voices just as you get back from shaking hands with one of the old men of the neighborhood. As much as you enjoy the praise and congratulations, it’s a little embarrassing to acknowledge you’re gaining a lot more fame within this town. You imagine this is how famous soccer players feel everytime they go out in public.
“Microcelebrity.” You clarify, “Aren’t you an influencer?” You recall Hanni spamming the group chat one time in the first year of high school because one of her Instagram posts had gone viral. After a while of her videos getting more and more views, she started gaining a small following and could be considered a daily-life influencer.
“Yeah, but most of my followers aren’t from here so I don’t get recognized everytime I go out.”
“To be fair, this is the first time this has happened to me. My parents probably told the whole town about this.”
“Oh, they sure did. Even my mom found out.” Minji states, to your surprise. Minji’s mother was well known for not liking any sports at all, and it’s not that she hated them, she just wasn’t interested. She didn’t even know who Messi or Ronaldo were.
“Wow… I knew they liked to gossip, but that’s… crazy.” You scratch your nape shyly. Your parents are known for finding out everything, but you didn’t know they also told everything they knew.
“She didn’t really know what anything meant but she was very happy for you.” She says with a smile.
Oh! There’s a strange giddy feeling that shows up as a smile on your face you can’t hold back. You’re not really sure what to say, but you don’t even have to worry about it, because before you realize you’re already at the field, and when the boys that are playing there take notice of your presence, all you can hear is screams.
Sounds of “Y/N Noona!”, “No way it’s Y/N!”, “You’re back?!” get closer as the match pauses and they start running towards you. Most of them are your high school classmates, some are your younger neighbors or underclassmen you played with during recess.
You get closer and they bombard you with hugs and questions, with countless reminders of how much they missed you. One of them complains about you not answering his texts, and another boy defends you by excusing your forgetfulness on being busy.
“Okay, okay. I’ll make it up to you with a match, okay?”
You end up playing for two hours straight, the first half with your friends as a team, but after a while it seemed like the only one with energy left was you. Not even Gyuvin could keep up your pace.
“No wonder she’s an athlete.” Hanni says, fanning herself under the shadow of a tree that trespassed the field enclosure. Your friends were all sitting down on the ground, watching attentively at the match you played against the boys while chatting.
It was 5v1 and you were winning 4-2.
Minji watched carefully at the way you carried yourself on the field, so graceful and yet not passive at all, a different perspective compared to how you usually are.
There's a little bit of sweat that glistens on your forehead, and after playing for such a long time you only now start to look slightly tired. “I pray everyday she makes it to the national team and gets rich.” Gyuvin says.
“Same.” Hanni answers, laying down on a blanket over the warm grass and resting her head on her bag and it makes Yoona laugh when she grumbles at the discomfort of feeling all the crystals she bought on the back of her head.
The boys score another goal at you, so you decide to get serious and start playing like you would at a normal university match. Minji stares when you run faster and slide through the opponents so easily. She kind of wonders if she could calculate your speed mentally.
Field length = 55 meters, Penalty area length = 9 meters
You were around 9.2 meters from the halfway line and traveled around 18 meters in a straight line, Minji counts 4 seconds.
18/4 = 5 m/s, 1 m/s = 3.6 km/h, 5 * 3.6 = 18 km/h
Han Y/N’s speed in that one moment was 18 km/h.
The average maximum sprint speed of La Liga athletes was 30 km/h, according to an NLM article (don’t ask Minji how she knows that; she isn’t even studying medicine).
Suddenly Minji feels the need to see you play an actual serious match.
“I don’t think you need to pray.” She says with a smirk, standing up from the ground and wiping away the bristles of grass stuck to her jeans. “She has it in the bag.”
The others notice her taking out her wallet from her pocket, “Can you buy me a Fanta?” Gyuvin makes puppy eyes at Minji, even while knowing they never work on her, or anyone for that matter.
She gives him nothing but a wave and walks away, “She’s not getting you shit, dude.” Hanni kicks Gyuvin in the back with the tip of her foot and Yoona laughs at the scene.
The grocery store is not far away at all, only a block from the field, and Minji treads lightly with her mind made up on what to buy. A bag of chips and two glasses of apple juice, and maybe a strawberry lollipop for Hanni, NOT cherry, she notes.
The owner is an older lady who used to babysit Minji’s mom. She’s seen her countless times in her life so it’s easy for her to greet her brightly. “It’s been so long, Minji!” The woman greets her, her aged features morphing into a kind smile.
It’s true, it has been a long time. She doesn’t really come here that often anymore unless she’s taking a walk out of boredom or walking the neighbors dog when she’s out of town. She used to come here all the time when you all went to play soccer, but the matches got less and less frequent after you left, mostly because the only one who actually wanted to play was Gyuvin.
Minji makes her way to the drink section of the store and lights up when she sees the chilled glasses of apple juice right where she remembers them being. She was honestly surprised you hadn’t brought a water bottle with you when you left, and maybe just water would be healthier and hydrate you better, but she’d rather make you happier with your favorite drink.
(You would’ve been happy enough even if she just brought you water.)
The glass is cold when it reaches her hand, a nice contrast from the heat of the afternoon sun. She was starting to get a little hungry so maybe instead of chips she’d get a sandwich. Maybe she’ll get two.
She excuses herself in her mind, she’s not excluding her other friends! It’s just… this day is about you, of course her focus would be you. And maybe tomorrow. And maybe the whole time you’re here. She laughs at herself while walking up to the counter. She meant it when she told you she missed you.
“That would be ₩4,200 but I’ll give to you for ₩4,000 because I missed you.” The woman beams her a warm smile and Minji can’t help but return it. She hands her 4,200 won anyways and is out the door before the woman can complain. “Bye, Mrs. Do!”
Minji walks back with a smile on her face, the wind hits and blows her hair back. Some leaves and dust get blown her way too but she doesn’t have to squint her eyes because they already do that when she smiles.
The sun isn’t as bright and the rays don’t burn her skin anymore. She hears louds screams just as she’s getting closer to the field, and when she looks through the gaps of the metal enclosure she sees Gyuvin running up to hug you while the boys you were playing with fall to the ground in defeat.
She missed your win. Minji puckers up her bottom lip and sighs, shoulders shrugging helplessly.
You hadn’t even realized she had left until you see her enter the field again, so you send her a light smile she almost doesn’t catch. She looks back to the other girls and when her eyes meet Hanni laying on the grass she realizes she forgot her strawberry lollipop. Oh well.
She sits down next to Yoona and takes her sandwich out of her bag.
“What’d you buy?”
“Just stuff. Nothing for Gyuvin.”
Yoona laughs at the comment. “The apple juice is for Y/N, right?” Minji nods as she looks at you tap the boys on the back to cheer them up, “You can have the other one if you want.”
Minji was just about to open the packaging of her sandwich when she sees you and Gyuvin walk towards her. She quickly stops her actions and takes the other cold glass from the plastic bag, struggles a little to open the lid, and just as you take your last step she holds the cold apple juice to your face, or the closest to it her arm could reach.
You’re a little taken aback, but luckily you don’t blush at her act. Instead you just smile at her, mirroring Minji’s own kind smile and take the glass from her hand. “Thanks.” You say before you take a sip.
Both of your hearts feel full, yours at the flavor of apple that fills your tastebuds and calms the thirst of running for hours, and hers at the fact she made you even just a little happy with such a small action.
You gulp down probably half the glass down and end it with a “Ah~” that makes your friends laugh. “You still do that?” Hanni sits up and rests her hands behind her on the grass.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve done that since you were a kid.” Minji says and your eyebrows raise,”Really?” All your friends nod.
“I never noticed.”
Minji goes back to her sandwich as you and Gyuvin sit down in front of the other three. You’re tired now, but you don’t wanna lay on the grass because you say it makes you itch, so you try resting your body weight on Gyuvin, to which he adamantly pushes you away, “You’re heavy, Y/N!”
“What the hell, bro. I’m literally not?” You pout at him to try and get him to surrender but he just pushes you away harder every time you try to lay your back against him.
“Go lay on Minji or something, not me.” He says as he pushes you for the last time, you hear Hanni laugh.
You look at Minji and she’s already putting away the plastic bag she had on her lap. Oh, okay, yeah, no biggie. No problem at all.
You do a great impression of acting normal and move to sit next to her. “The shadow is better on this side anyways.” You fake whine at the boy as Minji grabs your shoulder and guides you to rest your back on top of her legs.
You turn your body so that you face her and hope she can’t tell your heart starts beating faster when you notice she’s already looking down at you. It’s a beautiful scene.
Minji’s face, the green leaves of the trees behind her and the sun peeking through the gaps, the wind blowing her hair a little to the side, the way her eyes smile at the same time she does. “Hey.”
“Hey.” You answer.
Everything about this is normal! You have to close your eyes so you believe it, and you start to after a few seconds. Everything about this is normal. It feels so normal and you love it.
It’s soothing. The wind caresses your face and you lose focus on the conversation your friends were having beside you.
And then Minji starts running her fingers through your hair and you lose focus on anything that’s not her.
Your heartbeat picks up for a few seconds and then it doesn’t. And then it’s all calm again. Your eyes are closed but your mind pictures Minji so vividly, smiling at you sweetly while her eyes. Her loving eyes.
God, you hope you’re not blushing, because you can already feel yourself getting warm all over. Thankfully, the gentle breeze is there to save you when you need it.
And then there’s a moment where everything, the breeze, Minji’s hands caressing you, and the sound of playful conversation, all merge at the perfect moment and you experience a calm that feels heavenly. Almost divine, and it sends you into instant slumber.
You don’t really remember every detail of what you dream of, you just remember it being about Minji, Seoul and snow. Either way, you know it had something to do with her confessing her feelings to you after you win nationals. You remember that you froze after she kissed you, then called your name after she saw you not move.
“Y/N! Y/N!” You hear your name being called out, then your body being shaked roughly. “Y/N!” You hear loudly before you wake yourself up.
“Sorry!” You don’t know what you’re apologizing for until your body jerks away and your forehead almost hits Minji’s. “Oh, sorry.”
“You fell asleep.” She states the obvious with a giggle.
“No shit, queen.” You hear Hanni laugh loudly at your response. “How long was I out for?”
“It’s 5:25.” Yoona says behind you, only then you realize they were already packing up and it was time to go. Where? You have no idea.
“Shit. Sorry guys.” You sit back up and stretch your muscles before you can stand properly.
“My legs fell asleep, you know?” Minji announces, and when you look back at her she has a teasing smirk on her face.
“Yeah, well, maybe blame Gyuv for that.” You answer sassily, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty.
Said male goes to grab the tote bag Yoona got you and the half finished apple juice you left behind and holds the bag it to your face while you’re still stretching, “Hurry up, girl. We gotta go to the beach before sunset.” He throws the bag at you and you catch it just in time.
“Careful! I have a cat in there!”
You arrive at the beach at exactly 6:00 P.M. and as soon as you get to the sand Gyuvin is already taking his shoes and shirt off. You look at everyone, confused on the plan you never actually listened to.
“We were going to swim?”
“Do you not want to?” Hanni asks.
“I don’t know…” You look at your friends with a sorry expression. You were already worn out from the whole match, and even after you slept a whole two hours on Minji’s lap, you still felt a little tired. “I’m kinda drained guys.”
“Bro… How could you?” Minji looks at you like she’s so betrayed and you laugh at her annoying little face that’s also so pretty and cute and annoying
“Bro… I’m sorry.” You play along. Calling the love of your life “bro” is crazy.
Okay, “love of your life” is an exaggeration (it’s literally not, in every sense of the word literally).
“I’ll watch your bags and take pics!” You tried bargaining, and they look at you like you’re crazy. “Guys, please, we can come swim tomorrow. The beach is not going anywhere considering we literally live beside it.”
Then Yoona gets real close to you and whispers, “You’ll pay for this.” then takes off her shoes.
“What the hell, man.”
Gyuvin and Yoona are already running at the sea and splashing each other, they don’t actually care about you not joining. Hanni hands you her bag with a strange force and you don’t know where it came from, “Take care of my babies.” She says.
“Your… babies?”
“My crystals.”
“Oh, right. I will.”
Minji walks up to you when Hanni walks away and hands you her jacket and another bag, this time plastic, “There’s one sandwich left in there. I told Gyubin not to eat it and I didn’t think he was going to listen but he did, surprisingly.” She tells you with a smile.
“Thanks. Very thoughtful of you man.” Alright, pack it up.
Minji sends you one last smile before she leaves and your heart beats when her eyes squint too. You watch her disappear into the waves and smile. You take out your phone and take a picture of your friends all swimming and playing in the water, their silhouettes clashing with the sun that was just about to set. It’s so pretty you make it your lock screen immediately.
You take out a blanket from Hanni’s bag, the same one she was laying on in the soccer field, and spread it on the ground to sit down. You take off your sneakers before they get filled with sand and take comfort in the warmth of the sand beneath you.
You stare at your friends for a bit, a beautiful picture presented just for you. You’re so happy to be back. Your stomach lets out a loud grumble before you even get to tear up. What a way to ruin the mood.
You take the bag Minji gave you and take out the sandwich. Ham, bacon, cheese, lettuce- oh, who cares. You take a bite out of it and it tastes like home. She definitely bought it from Mrs. Do.
It eases your hunger quite well. You hear the waves crash and Minji’s laugh from far away and, what a beautiful sound. What a beautiful person. You think of Minji and think of beautiful, not just from her appearance but her soul. What a beautiful soul.
You take your last bite and your stomach feels full, but you feel a little empty and can’t pinpoint what it is. You feel like you’re forgetting something. You reach for your new bag and search for whatever it seems you're forgetting.
Oh, right, the letter. Suddenly you feel excited.
The sun starts just in time. What a way to set the mood. You take out the white envelope and notice it still has some scent remaining. It kinda smells like something Minji used to wear, jasmine and liquorice. You didn’t smell it on her today, though.
You notice the envelope doesn’t have a sender or recipient name anywhere on it, nowhere at all. Maybe they didn’t plan to send it, or they changed the envelope at the shop. Eager to know more, you rip the envelope, careful not to damage the letter itself.
You take it out and take a deep breath to prepare yourself. You’re probably a little more excited than you should be, but whatever. You’re excited to intrude on a stranger's possibly failed love confession.
Except when you unfold the page, it’s not from a stranger.
You panic and fold the letter closed just as fast as you had opened it. You must have misread, right?
You open it again and the top says “Kim Minji, 23rd of June, 2021” like it’s a diary.
It must be another Kim Minji. There are hundreds of thousands in South Korea. It could be anyone. Anyone at all. So you keep reading in hopes it’s someone who’s not the girl swimming in the sea just a few meters away from you.
Dear Y/N,
It’s not a stranger. It’s Kim Minji. Your Kim Minji. You’re reading an old love letter from Kim Minji. You bought a love letter from Kim Minji for 300 won.
Wait, why is it addressed to you?
Now, you’re more confused than shocked. Now, you have to find out. You were going to put it down and not read it to not intrude and break your own heart, but now you have to find out why on Earth the first two words are Dear Y/N written in Kim Minji’s handwriting. So you keep reading.
Dear Y/N, I hope this finds you well. If you’re reading this, I gave this to you on the 24th or maybe even earlier on a strike of confidence. I hope you’re not keeping yourself up to read this at midnight. I wanted to tell you something I’ve been keeping for a long time before you leave for Seoul. Maybe it’s a selfish thing to do, and it won’t keep you from departing, but I think it would be worse to tell you this through text and I can’t bring myself to say it to your face.
I have feelings for you. Real romantic feelings. I like you a lot.
I like possibly everything about you and it’s killing me that I’m so scared and unable to tell you. I don’t even know what I’m so afraid of, really. Probably rejection, but even if you did like me back I still have to live without you for four years. My wish of you coming to visit me will probably depend on how harsh your rejection is, but I’d still like to see you back regardless.
When you first told us you got that scholarship for Korea University, I was so happy and proud of you. In a perfect world I would have kissed you and told you how happy I was for you and maybe even gone with you. But it’s not a perfect world and I just told you “Congratulations!” and you’re leaving tomorrow, without me.
I’m not one to take pictures, if anything that’s you, but right now I wish I had an album full of photos of you, of us, because I don’t know how I’ll make it without seeing you everyday. I think I won’t, actually. I hope you consider letting me borrow the photo album full of the countless pictures you take, even if they’re not of you they might fill the void you leave in my heart.
Anything from you will suffice, I think, but just your memory is not enough.
I kinda wish you could stay, but I also know you’re going to do your best over there and I hope you fulfill your dream of being a professional player. When you said you were going to choose to study mass communication I thought “that must mean she’s going to communicate with us a lot!” I hope it does. I hope you don’t miss us too much, but I do hope you miss me a little bit more.
I’ve never written a love letter before, if you could even call this that, so excuse me if this is not a good one, I’m sorry. I should probably state what I like most about you, but I don’t even know where to begin.
I love the way you’re driven to do your best even at the smallest of things. When we first met, you built us the best sand castle I had ever seen in my short life of seven years. The sandcastle was still standing when we went to visit it the next day.
You do your best at school, even when it gets hard for you, and I love that you’re not afraid to ask for help when you really need it. I kind of envy that if I’m honest. I hope you become the best student in your major.
I remember the time we babysat Ms.Yoon’s daughter and you were the only one who knew how to change her diapers and at what time to feed her. I also love how good you are with kids and sometimes it makes me think of very inappropriate thoughts of building a family together, but I won’t get into that because I don’t want to be weirder than I’m already being right now.
I love the way you always try your best to make me smile when I’m upset or stressed and even just the thought of you going out of your way to care is enough for my heart to melt. When I got sick in middle school while my mom was out of town you came to my house every day and made me chicken soup. I think that was the day I started thinking of you as more than just a friend.
I love the way you look when you put your hair up in a ponytail. I used to stare at you the entire time we watched you play during recess in middle school.
I love the way you’re clumsy and you’re never embarrassed about it. You always get up when you fall and you don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when you scrape your knees. And I love the way you still try to smile when I’m patching up your wounds.
I love the way you always want the best for us and encourage us to be ambitious. I wouldn’t be on top of my class if it weren’t for you.
I love the way you like cats and they like you back. They always hiss at me unless you’re around. Maybe it’s a sign that we should be together all the time.
I love the way you say Ah~ when you finish drinking water after playing soccer.
I love (you) the way you love apple juice. I hope you feel the same. – Kim Minji
P.s. if you don’t i also understand and you’re free to do whatever you want with this letter.
You have no idea at what point you started to tear up, but you only realize when a tear falls from your eye into the paper and blurs the ink in the last “Minji”.
You don’t even process anything around you at that point. All you can think about is that Minji liked you 3 years ago and never told you and now you don’t even know if she still likes you.
No matter how much you think about it, you would’ve absolutely given her your photo album, if only the letter had actually gotten to you when it was supposed to.
“I saw you open the letter from over there, I came here to be nosy.” You can’t tell anything she says because you’re so entranced but you can tell it’s Minji’s voice. You freeze when she sits beside you.
“Is it any good?” She asks before realizing you’re completely paralyzed. “Hey, are you crying?” She touches your shoulder in concern, and it wakes you up a little bit, but the only thing you can do is hand her the letter.
She stares at you for a few seconds before she finally takes the page and mutters, “Oh.”
You don’t really want to look at her, and you don’t know what comes over you that makes you turn your head anyways. The red sun rays hit her face in a way that makes her tan skin glow. Her hair is damp and her shirt is stuck to her body but you don’t dare to look.
She’s clearly just as shocked as you are to see the object in her hands. And she still looks so beautiful. “Y/N, I-” You wipe your tears and sniff before she turns and see them in your eyes.
“Was this the one you bought?” You nod, and she looks back at it with her mouth hung low. “I… was wondering where this went. I thought I lost it.”
“You didn’t send it? At all?” Minji shakes her head. Wow, this is so great. “Why didn’t you?”
“I was supposed to give it to you before you left. I was hoping it would make you stay, but then I thought I was being too selfish and… just didn’t.” There’s clearly some regret still left in her face and the wind starts to blow. You hand her the jacket you put down next to your friends’ bags. “Thanks.” She says as she puts it on. You turn away to look at the sunset and gather your thoughts.
There’s no expression on your face for Minji to read, and for some reason she starts getting worried. “Y/N… I- It’s been three years, you don’t have to worry about-”
“Do you still?” You ask while looking away at the sea.
Minji stays quiet.
“Do you?”
She still keeps quiet. You turn to face her.
“Please tell me the truth, Minji.”
There’s something about how the sun makes your eyes glow and how you say her name that sabotages Minji at not giving in.
“Yes.” She speaks out with a sigh, “I do. I still do.”
You don’t know if your heart is beating faster or slower, but you feel it beat stronger. You turn away to get your bag, Minji just watches, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in distress and curiosity. The only thing she wants right now is to know how you feel.
You reach inside your bag for something, and Minji can’t really tell what it is when you take it out.
Finally, you extend the pale blue hair clip in your hand, “I have liked you since we were seven, Minji.” The girl looks at the clip then at you, her round eyes widened in disbelief.
“Are you serious?”
You hold your hand closer to her, urging her to take the gift before you sniff once again, “I saw this and thought of you. It looks like the one you had when we first met, that’s the day I started liking you. I haven’t stopped since.”
Minji takes the clip from your hands and feels herself tear up, says nothing, stares at it, then stares at you.
“We’ve known each other for thirteen years and I’ve loved you for thirteen of them.”
“I had no idea.”
“We had no idea.”
“We knew nothing about everything.” It’s now Minji’s turn to sniffle but still smiles as she wipes away the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes.
“How could you never say anything? Thirteen years, Y/N.” Minji complains while caressing the blue clip in her hands like it’s a precious stone. “Thirteen.”
“I got distracted with soccer.” Minji laughs with you and pushes you away by the shoulder. “Every goal I’ve ever made has been for you, though,”
“That’s so cheesy.” Minji giggles to herself as she pops the clip open and places it on her hair, it snaps shut with a ‘click’. “What do you think?” She says, turning to you. She tries to ignore your eyes and how sweetly they look at her.
“I think I love you more than I love apple juice.”
That’s the last thing you say before Minji smiles and gets shy, she looks away but her hand searches for yours and you help her by placing yours over hers. She fights back by taking it back and placing hers on top of yours. It makes you laugh.
The sound of your laugh takes her attention and now she stares directly at you, a smile on her own face. Her cheeks now take a reddish color, and her eyes shine like the reflection of the sunlight on the water. It feels like a deja vu.
You think you could stare at Minji’s face all day and not complain. You think maybe she thinks so too with how intensely she’s looking at you.
You raise your eyebrow when her eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips, and she seems to notice when your lips form a smirk. “What?” She giggles at herself, her already red cheeks turn an even darker shade.
“I saw that.”
“Weren’t we about to?”
“So straightforward, You should’ve been like that when sending that letter.”
“Oh my god, shut up.”
Is the last thing she says before she leans forward, she hesitates a little bit and her eyes go from your lips to your eyes, a shine of expectancy as if asking for permission, even when she already has it.
She’s about to close the gap when the both of you hear a chorus of gasps from the sea. It takes your attention. Hanni, Gyuvin and Yoona are all pushing each other giggling and gasping, hands on their mouths. You hear a faint “It’s finally happening.”, You can’t tell who it’s from though.
Minji is visibly annoyed, yells “Look away!” and it bounces in the waves. It’s actually insane how dumb she looks, red cheeks, furrowed eyebrows, pouty, perfect lips. It takes you everything to control yourself and even then you still can’t help grabbing her face gently and turning it towards you to finally, once and for all, kiss her.
You don’t really care if your friends actually turned away or not, because you can’t really tell with how glorious it feels to kiss Minji. It almost feels holy. You feel like you died and went to heaven in five minutes.
It’s a new feeling, a new experience, and it feels so familiar at the same time. Like flowing with the waves, like dancing with the wind, like drowning in apple juice, drowning in love.
Your lips dance like that for a while. At one point Minji’s hand goes up to your face and it’s such a warm feeling it makes you smile into the kiss. You start running out of breath and you don’t even notice. You could die happily if it meant dying with Minji’s lips on yours.
But then your stupid survival instincts kick in and it’s such a shame you have to pull away.
Both of your breaths are heavy and you burst out in laughter at the same time when your eyes meet. When your laughs die down your eyes fall on the pale blue clip that adorned Minji’s head. “You look so cute.”
“Says you.”
And then you hear cheering from the beach again. “Finally!” Hanni yells. You watch in astonishment, “Did she know?” You ask Minji while the both of you watch the three of your friends jump up and down in the water.
“I have no idea. I didn’t tell her. She might’ve noticed.” The cogs start to turn in your brains.
“They all did.” You and Minji say at the same time, then laugh at the same time. What a friendship of thirteen years does to you. And when you see Gyuvin and Hanni get up from the water and get closer to you, you realize you’re about to be ambushed.
“Oh, hell no.” You mumble right before you stand up and grab your bag. Minji just looks at you confused, “Come on, get up. They’re wet.” But Minji doesn’t seem to cooperate.
“Dude!” You grab her hand and pull her up as you run away as far as possible from your friends. You don’t even realize where you’re going, but laughing with Minji while running on the sand at sunset feels heavenly.
You look back and Minji struggles to keep up. Gyuvin and Hanni don’t look anywhere close and they probably decided to just let the both of you go, so you stop running.”
“We…” Minji rests her hands on her knees as she catches her breath, “We didn’t have to run that much. I’m not the soccer player here.”
You send her an apologetic smile, “Sorry…”
Minji now can stand up and breathe stably. She looks back and there’s no one behind. “So, where do we go now?”
“Home. You need to get changed or else you’re gonna get sick.” You walk towards her to touch her shirt, “It’s still damp.”
“Isn’t your house nearby?” She asks, “I live further away, and it’ll be night by the time we get to my house.”
You squint your eyes at her, “My clothes won’t fit on you, they barely fit on me.” You flex your bicep and the sleeve gets so tight it’s going to cut your blood flow if you keep it like that. “And I haven’t seen your mom yet.”
“And I want to have dinner with your parents.” She confesses. “My first official meeting with them as your girlfriend.” You never actually established that but it’s not like you’re going to refuse the offer.
“You’re actually so annoying, bro.”
“Says you, bro.”
“I’m your girlfriend, bro.”
“No shit, bro.” Minji holds her hand out for you to take it, and you gladly do. You start walking in silence for a little bit.
“Also, my mom won’t let us make out at my house.”
“Okay, that’s enough, bro.” You take your hand back and walk faster to get away from Minji. She immediately sprints to catch up and stick to you.
“I was kidding!” She tries to grab your hand but you refuse it and take it back. “Hey! Hold my hand!”
You look at her and wouldn’t you know, she’s making puppy eyes at you. It makes you give in, it never fails. “You’re so sticky.”
“You wanna know something?” She says as you start walking together again.
“What?”
“When you kissed me it tasted like apple juice.”
end.
🗒️ probably one of my favorite things i've written i giggled a lot and had fun writing this.. there's probably lots of mistakes here and there but i beg u pls ignore it bc im dizzy i can't look at words anymore. Minecraft coming soon! love u guys 🫂
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"[L]ate last month Rutgers required its RAs, whose job is to supervise students living in on-campus housing, to participate in a “bystander intervention” course aimed at training them to identify antisemitism, xenophobia, and Islamophobia. Several of the RAs, however, abruptly left the session after a Jewish speaker explained that Hamas’s antisemitism and desire to destroy the world’s only Jewish state precipitated the Oct. 7 massacre, which resulted in the largest loss of Jewish life in a single day since the Holocaust.
The paper added that the RAs took issue with the program’s citing a definition of antisemitism offered by the Anti-Defamation League (ADL). After walking out, they reportedly contacted Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP), which proceeded to author, on the RAs’ behalf, a series of Instagram posts denouncing the antisemitism trainings as racist and upholding white supremacy.
"The mandated training program organized by the Office of Residence Life requires RAs to learn about DEI, restorative justice, community engagement, and more — all of these are inspired by Indigenous practices meant to unpack systems of white supremacy,” SJP said. “On the contrary, this specific session worked to perpetuate Zionism, racism, and white supremacy.”
SJP’s post included comments from the RAs who involved them in the controversy. One of them, who claimed to be Jewish, said, “I am tired of the word antisemitism being used to talk over genocide, I am tired of antisemitism being inflated.” The RA added, “I fear that when the Nazis and radicals come once again for the Jews that no one will believe us … it will be your fault.”
Another who took issue with the Israeli nationality of one of the course’s presenters said, “One of the facilitators even identified as ‘Israeli’ and made mention of this multiple times. He justified his authority on the topic by citing his 12 plus years spent in ’48 Palestine, going so far as to call ‘Israel’ [sic] a ‘beautiful land.'”
A milieu of extreme anti-Zionism at the school has resulted in at least one death threat against the life of a Jewish student since Oct. 7. In November, a local news outlet��reported, freshman Matthew Skorny, 19, called for the murder of a fraternity member he identified as an Israeli, saying on the popular social media forum YikYak, “To all the pro-Palestinian ralliers [sic] … Go kill him.”
Similar incidents at Rutgers have occured frequently. In the past few years, the school’s AEPi fraternity house has been vandalized three times. In one incident, in April 2022, on the last day of the Jewish holiday of Passover, a caravan of participants from a SJP rally drove there, shouting antisemitic slurs and spitting in the direction of fraternity members. Four days later, before Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day in Israel, the house was egged during a 24-hour reading of the names of Holocaust victims.
In March, the US House Committee on Education and the Workforce launched an investigation of Rutgers’ handling of antisemitism, responding to complaints that it has, for years, allowed an open season of hate against Jewish students."
#what i quoted was an excerpt but there's more at the link#antisemitism#antizionism is antisemitism#jumblr#october 7#israel#usa diaspora#the one who was triggered by someone saying “I'm Israeli” is almost hilarious#touching grass is not enough for them#they need to actually go to this place they are so obsessed with#touch the ground at Ben Gurion airport then we'll talk#rfk is not the only one with brainworm#hamasniks
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[Post in English] Something Nyx and I want to publicly address, regarding the recent allegations in the Glitchtale Crew's Discord Server and it's moderators. I really apologize for the upcoming wall of text. These are our Twitter threads I have pasted them here, in case you don't have access to said platform. I have also added some additional notes to provide more context. All details under the line:
NyxTheShield: (Transcription from his official twitter thread) I read some mean comments lately and I just wanna be super clear: I havent been related to Glitchtale since at least 2022. I never considered myself part of the community and went through some much shit while doing stuff for it that my mental health was completely destroyed.
For people who thought I was an admin of the server, that was just in paper. I was constantly de-admin'd, demodded and kicked from the server through the years for simple stuff like asking the rest of the mod team to not say slurs or standing up against the Midnight Crew. I personally left the server for a long while because I really did not want to be around some of the people there. All of this happened years ago (from 2016~ to around 2020). On the early years, my full income came from Youtube/Glitchtale. I was a broke college student and my economic stability depended on it. Despite this, and making literally hundred of tracks and hours of music for the series, most of the income came from my own ad revenue. I was paid less than 2000 USD for all of the work. Essentially, I was paid in exposure.
This wouldn't have been an issue for me if at least I got to keep my artistic vision with the series. That didn't hold true for long.
From the second season and onwards, and in multiple instances, I would score the entire OST for the episode, watch the episode when it released, and then find out a completely new section of the episode (usually a battle scene) with music from somebody else This was completely demotivating to me because I wasn't being paid, the tracks would not fit the rest of the OST at all, and most of the income I made from the battle scenes. I had to work for weeks trying to compose music for glorified powerpoint presentations (Basically everything that's not a battle scene on the series was just still frames of characters barely moving) and do all the heavy lifting and I wasn't even let known about the guest tracks.
This added to the feeling of having absolutely no power within the community. I don't know if this was intentional or not (I don't wanna presume malice), but all of these things together contributed to me distancing myself from the community.
Honestly, there is A LOT more shit that went down these early years that are extremely traumatic to me that I would prefer to not talk about unless completely necessary, but I feel this is a good amount of context for what I wanna talk about next.
As you might be aware, extremely serious (and true) allegations were made against Camila and his partner, Veir, which was accused of grooming minors from 2015 to 2021 There are really good videos out there explaining the entire timeline of what transpired, but I specifically wanna talk about 2020.
(Jakei's note: Links to said videos are here: [1] [2] [3])
In that year, a public document was made by my head mod CrystalFlame alongside 2 other mods in the GT server, that exposed Veir and their actions. This document went mostly unnoticed. Even more, Crystal went through a lot of abuse for coming forward about their abuse and was almost ostracized from the UT AU community because of this.
Because of this, I was asked directly by one of the victims (and also representing the other victims) to please not speak up (Citing that they just wanted to move on and didn't want to involve themselves with more problems and expose themselves)
All the info was kept very vague from me, including the people who were involved, the extent of the stuff that went down, etc But I knew enough to know it was serious. I followed their request and didn't speak up publicly about this, but I banned Veir from my server, warned all of my mods and people close to me in those circles about Veir, and constantly tried to get Camila to please adress the situation. Despite this, she did not listen and we all know how stuff went down later in 2022, where the allegations came back again with full force. This time around I wasnt asked to stay silent so I spread the word around and confronted the entire mod team. I was shortly banned after that.
I needed to address this because this thing has been eating me alive for years. I was intentionally kept in the dark about a lot of context and nuance that would have completely changed my mind about speaking up or not about what happened in 2020.
Everything is easier in retrospective, and with the knowledge I now have about the situation I know for a fact that I would have spoken up about all that happened. But being asked directly to not speak up by the victims was something that goes against what I am Sorry for the long rant, but I really needed to get this off my chest. I am tired of having to deal with this kind of stuff. As a content creator/public figure I am trying my hardest to keep the communities I am active in as safe as possible.
I feel I could have done more for the Glitchtale community regarding the grooming situation, but all of the years of abuse that I endured really fucked up my judgement. I am not very good at dealing with people and I always trust the people close to help me for this kind of stuff
Sadly, in this case, those same people who were close to me were also the victims, so they couldnt have known or had a way to help me out, I should have helped them instead. Most if not all of what was described in this thread is backed up by screenshots, chat logs, and direct testimony from the people who were involved during this time.
I don't want to direct hate to anyone or start a witchhunt, I am doing this purely to decompress a bit and try to vent some of the trauma I experienced all these years.
============================================
Jakei: (Transcription from my official twitter thread) I would also like to share my experiences about my relationship with the Glitchtale Creator, Camila Cuevas. Publicly, we appeared as close friends, but in reality, that friendship was based on bullying and mistreatment, and this affected my mental health deeply.
Years have passed, and the memories still cause me pain. I decided to remain silent, but after the revelations of grooming cases in her community, I realized I wasn’t being too sensitive. The time has come to speak up about my experiences.
During the early years of Underverse, I was dealing with a serious depressive episode. Simultaneous internal and external pressures as an independent artist amplified my mental strain. Meeting Camila felt like finding a genuine friend who shared my passion for the fandom and understood the struggles of being a content creator amidst toxicity. At my lowest, I became compliant to doing things that I didn’t want to, just to keep people around me happy. For Camila, this meant allowing her to belittle my work and make me the butt of her jokes.
Only our veteran followers may remember the 'roasting games' between us on Tumblr (consisting of mutual insults), a spectacle where she'd always win. However, it was a game she privately forced me to "play" and I ended up accepting, despite the discomfort it caused me. These 'games' would give her a cool and strong image in the fandom while painting me as the dumb, 'cringe-worthy' friend. In essence, I became her personal punching bag, unknowingly reinforcing his reputation.
Camila's favorite term to demean my series 'Underverse' was “Cancerverse”. It felt like a constant contest where she'd always position herself as the superior writer and animator simply because my story and animation techniques didn't fit her standards. Years of being subjected to her ridicule left my self-esteem in ruins. I was okay with the negative feedback by some fans, but when my 'friend' publicly disrespected my art, it made me question my abilities as an artist.
I can't deny there were times when she gave me advice to deal with hate or hurtful comments. However, her damaging comments and treatment outweighed those moments of support.
My depressive state worsened around July 2017, where I had accepted people pushing me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with, while being part of Camila's demeaning games, just to appease her ego. I was introduced to Nyx during this time, he offered his music for my series, and eventually we started dating. We met in person in Chile, where I also met Camila. I hoped our friendship would strengthen but everything felt the same. Before I moved to Chile with Nyx, Camila reached out to me in dms, attempting to turn me against him because he opposed the use of slurs in the GT server. She claimed Nyx was being 'brainwashed' by his American friends belonging to the black and LGBTQ+ communities. She made fun of my dating choices, suggesting I was entering a toxic relationship, while showing off her relationship with her then-boyfriend (later exposed as a pedophile). She even quoted her own mother assuring me that Nyx would 'get back to normal', and if it didn’t happen, she would let me live in her house, almost like if she was telling me that Nyx would hurt me or make me feel miserable.
It only took Nyx 3 months to realize that the GT server was going in the wrong way. I initially felt compelled to defend Camila due to my inferiority complex, but soon realized Nyx was right. (Jakei's note: Not only Nyx was right, a lot of people that called her out over the years were right, yet they were not listened to at the time)
Even then, I found it difficult to distance myself from Camila due to the false sense of obligation I felt towards her. My fear of her making fun of my work kept me from interacting with others in the short period of time I stayed in her Discord server. I was afraid that she and her echo chamber would talk behind my back, something that I found out was happening in private chats until recent years.
Rebuilding my self-esteem wasn't an easy task. I began noticing the red flags – Camila's lack of respect not only for me but Nyx also, the emotional manipulation Nyx was suffering from Veir (something he used to do all the time with his other victims), her attempts to 'roast' me in front of her family and fans in the Underverse/Glitchtale meetings, and her constant criticism of my artstyle not being compatible to hers in the few collabs we made.
All these 'small' instances, dismissed as insignificant by many, caused me immense pain while treating my depression. I felt it was too late to express how I felt, as I feared being labeled as attention-seeking or oversensitive by her and her fanbase. Ironically, the moment she talked about her traumas after being bullied in the past, her feelings were the only ones that mattered any time she was involved in a problematic situation in the fandom and deserved to be the only to get pats in the back.
I never expected a sincere apology, as I was convinced she didn't remember or didn't care about the hurt she caused. I tried to maintain a facade of good terms with her, both publicly and privately. Eventually, I distanced myself from her, unfriending her and banning her from my own server even if she didn't interact there. I started focusing on my own work and the people who appreciated it. Despite this, the aftermath of the bullying continued to affect me.
Everything fell into place when the grooming accusations against her former boyfriend and server mods came to light. It was a shocking revelation, but it validated all my doubts and fears about her. The purpose of sharing my experiences is not to stir up drama, but to address the concerns of those worried about my association with Camila. I want to make it clear that I will never tolerate such behavior. Although the things I did for her in the past cannot be erased, I hope Camila at least deletes the animation remake I did for her and all the collabs that boosted her views for free, though I'm not optimistic about it happening.
As I've matured, my hope is that she and her crew learn from their mistakes, start behaving like adults, and take responsibility for their actions in their future projects and with their new followers. But I'm skeptical about any real change, especially if their server continues to exist. The best course of action for me was to cut all ties with Camila and Glitchtale.
NyxTheShield (now my husband) and I have endured too much from our treatment by Camila. We no longer want to be associated with her or Glitchtale. It's a chapter of our lives that we wish to close. It's time for us to focus on recovering our mental health, as remaining silent is only prolonging our pain. We have been working to improve our mental and physical health over the past few years and this is a crucial part of our healing process.
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We're Moving Too Fast...Aren't We? (Guro Reiten x Reader)
You're enjoying a night out, on a rooftop bar with a few other WSL clubs, and your own team, Arsenal. It was WSL tradition to throw a big party in London for the end of season, usually this is only the major clubs as the others struggle to get to grips with near relegation. Today's team attendees were yourselves at Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs, The Manchesters and Villa.
"Come ooooon Y/N it's time to dance" Your mate Victoria Pelova slurs at you. You approach her and steady her with your arms.
"Think that's enough to drink now Vic, don't want you vomiting over the carpet in our house" You smile, helping her find a chair and some water, Viv takes over on 'motherly duties' so you can walk away and be with the others.
"Going on the pull tonight Y/N?" Alex Scott nudges your side. She always gets an invite alongside many other retired players, a lot are still very close friends with the teams they played for.
"Nah, you know that's not my thing anymore" You wink at her.
"Y/N I've seen you kissing multiple girls on the same night, why not here!" Leah nudges you.
"I don't like to mix business with pleasure" you joke, asking the bartender for another glass. “For the record, that was a joke. I’m not like that anymore, I’ve matured from the partygirl I was when I was 19! Magda helped a lot with that”.
"Well at least flirt around a bit, it's always fun to watch how quickly you work your magic" Leah says, convincingly.
"If you need tips on how to pull you could've just asked Lee" You tease. "but fine, I'll do it, what harm can it do".
"Okay challenge for tonight, a Chelsea girl" Alex wiggles her eyebrows at you, both you and Leah visibly shudder at the word 'Chelsea'.
"For one night fine, but mark my words, you'll never find me dating or sleeping with a Chelsea girl" You shake your head walking over to the dancefloor drink in hand.
You dance with a few of your friends, one of those being Magda, even if she is still Chelsea through and through she was like a mother figure to you during your loan spell at Linköpings when you were much younger. She sees you glancing around and stops you with her hand on your chest, letting out what seemed to be a sigh.
"Y/N... Really? I thought you grew out of this during your year in Sweden with me" She smacks your shoulder.
"It's for Leah's entertainment,and for a bet… and it's a Chelsea girl" You shudder again, making Magda laugh and nudge you.
"Well here's some advice. They don't like the gunners and wouldn't want to flirt with one, but I've heard Guro, Niamh and Jessie all say something somewhat nice about you" She sighs, gesturing over to the girls.
"It's only some flirting to show Leah I'm better at flirting than her" You offer a small smile "Promise I won't be sleeping around or trying to get with one of them" she holds out her pinky, which you interlock yours with hers.
You dance over to the Chelsea girls and greet them somewhat politely, getting hugs from all three.
"You guys had an insane season, congratulations" You hold your drink up to them, which they do in response as you all sip your drinks.
"So what brings you over here?" Jessie elbows you.
"My girls are boring or waaaaay too drunk to be dancing with me" you chuckle, sliding up a bit closer to the group.
“Reckon you’ll ever play for us Y/N?” Niamh smirks at you cheekily.
“Absolutely not, you won't catch me dead in a Chelsea shirt” You grimace, causing the three girls to laugh at your response. “Now what about you guys wearing a Y/L/N shirt to an Arsenal match one day in support of the better team?”.
“Not a chance” Guro says, rolling her eyes.
“I bet I can get you wearing an Arsenal shirt to one of my matches by the end of this year, in support of me” You smirk at Guro. Jessie and Niamh seem to be deep in another conversation with Magda and Pernille to the side, leaving you to work your magic like you told your friends you would do.
“It’s so on, if you fail, you can wear a Reiten shirt at one of our matches, I’ll get you front row seats so you can admire the view” She winks holding out her hand which you shake, sealing your bet.
“Oh believe me I am enjoying the view already” You look at her eyes and give her a soft smile.
“Wait a second…are you doing what I think you’re doing?” She questions.
“Depends on if you like it or not” You mumble, suddenly feeling slightly nervous. This was unlike your usual behaviour when it came to flirting. As you’re feeling the nerves you look into her eyes and feel yourself melt slightly at the soft look she’s giving you.
“And what if I do like it?” She says in a more suggestive tone “Is this the great Y/N getting nervous? Never thought I’d see the day”. “If you do like it, then I’d suggest we take this to the dance floor” You nod over to the dancefloor where many of your friends are dancing together. “Oh and I don’t get nervous, even if it’s a beautiful woman like you”. You whisper in her ear and see a very faint blush on her face. You smile to yourself as you both walk to the dancefloor hand in hand.
You dance together for a while, still engaging in conversation with each other. As the night goes on the drinks continue flowing and you feel yourself getting more and more confident, making somewhat bolder moves and both getting drunker.
━━━━━
“åh herregud!” You hear as your eyes shoot open. “What the hell, why are you here?”.
You look around and have absolutely no idea where you are, apart from the fact Guro Reiten is sat up next to you in a bed that you’re both sharing.
“It’s okay, we’re fine” You calm her down. “Now, how the hell did we get here? Where are we?”
“My apartment, and I have no idea how we got here together” She sighs, you admire her morning hair, messily laying on her shoulders. The light coming in through the blinds of her room makes her eyes glisten and skin glow. Wait what?
“Okay question one, do you live here alone?” You ask her, she shakes her head. “Oh my god you have a girlfriend? Shit I’m so sorry, fuck, I should go” You panic and start standing up to get ready to leave. “No you idiot, I share a house with Erin and Niamh” She drags you back down. “My question for you is, what do you think we did last night?”.
“Well from the fact we are both still pretty much in last night's clothes, not a lot” You chuckle, walking over to her mirror “Although I don’t remember me having these yesterday” you narrow your eyes at her in the reflection in the mirror whilst pointing at the trail of hickeys on your neck, causing her to blush.
“It could’ve been anyone!” She says with her eyes wide.
“Considering I woke up in your bed, I’m very sure on who it was” You roll your eyes. You sit in silence for a few seconds, both getting your bearings on what happened, how and what you’re gonna do to get away with it.
“Do you actually remember much from last night?” She asks you, leaning back against the mattress, you follow her lead and lay next to her. Her shirt has risen slightly from her flopping onto the bed and you can’t help but admire her body. “Eyes up here Y/LN” she smirks as you quickly snap your eyes back up to hers.
“I remember enough to have a good understanding of why I’m here. For the record, Leah and Alex dared me to pull a Chelsea player but as soon as we started talking that all went out the window” You break eye contact, your nerves get the better of you until you feel a hand gently moving your chin to force you back into eye contact with her.
“I guessed that after you snuck your way over to our table, they were watching you the whole time. I also really enjoyed time with you Y/N, I can make myself nice and free today if you want to re-do last night… but with less alcohol please” She says holding her stomach, you nod back enthusiastically.
“I can run home and grab my car? I can drive us somewhere if you like, as it seems we only live around the corner from each other!” You say excitedly. “That and I need to try to sneak in without waking up Vic and Gio, that’s going to be a nightmare”.
“Meet me outside in an hour? That gives me time to freshen up and look less like I had a night with an Arsenal player” She fake heaves, you roll your eyes in response and walk to the door of her room.
“WAIT” She grabs your hand “I think the girls are downstairs, let me distract them and I’ll say Cereal when you’re clear to escape” She says walking out the room. You sneak down quietly and hide around a corner from the girls.
“No I didn’t sleep with Y/N! Jesus Erin, you’ll never catch me with a gooner” She laughs. You hear a gasp from Niamh, instantly you feel that dreadful feeling of being caught.
“Did she do this?” Niamh continues fussing over Guro “In all seriousness I’m proud of you for getting some Guro, it’s about time”.
“Ugh, can we stop talking about her now, have we got any cereal in the kitchen or did you eat it all Erin?” Guro says, you notice the codeword and slowly make your way to the front door of the house and manage to escape barely making a noise. Rather than the walk of shame, you opt for an Uber home rather than walking for 10 minutes, still unable to fight that nauseous feeling.
When you arrive home you open the door to find Vic passed out on the floor in the living room, you start making her a coffee to help her with the wake up, alongside some painkillers. You lift her gently off the floor and place her on the sofa whilst making her drink, she starts waking up too thankfully.
“Morning Y/N, still wearing last night's clothes?” She jokes.
“Didn’t even make it to my bed, you’re expecting me to go through all that effort to get dressed too?” You lie.
“Morning you two” Gio sings as she walks in with a starbucks in hand.
“Where were you, young lady?” You joke, hands on hips.
“Oh I stayed at Katherine’s, I can see you two got home safe?” Gio says looking over at you both still in last night's clothes.
“Oh yeah, I got in a little after this one, but all in one piece!” You say nudging Vic.
“God how drunk was I? I don’t even remember getting home, bet it was Viv” Vic sighs. You sigh, relieved that your housemates have no suspicions of you staying out last night.
“Anyway as much as I love you both, I need to get out of these clothes, and get some shopping done” You say.
“Can I come?” Vic asks.
“Nope, unless you really want to go with me to test out which guitar I want for 3 hours” You smirk.
“Nevermind, I’d rather sit at home eating ice cream” She kisses you on the cheek as she walks off to the kitchen with the coffee you made her, you make your way up to your room. As you get dressed after your shower, there’s a gentle knock on your door.
“What? I already said I’m going guitar shopping!” You grumble. “It’s me” You hear Gio on the other side “Are you decent?” you open the door for her to come in, you’ve not put a shirt on yet but have your sports bra on.
“Now, Vic may believe your lies, but I do not. Where were you last night?” She squints at you.
“I’m not lying, I was at home just after Vic” You shrug, Gio chuckles.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I won’t tell on you, but I can tell” She gives you a soft smile.
“But..how? You weren’t even home?” You sigh.
“One, you set off our ring doorbell with motion just now. I’ve deleted the recording of you fumbling your way in earlier. Two, your neck tells me a different story” She smirks poking at one of the dark red marks “Now I’ll keep your secret safe, on one condition. You tell me who it was”.
“You know I love you right?” You look at her guiltily, again she gives you her squinted look. “It was a Chelsea player”.
“I can’t believe you! I don’t even care who it is! If the team finds out you’re so fucked” Gio gasps. You throw a shirt on and get ready to leave whilst Gio is still fussing about your ordeal.
“You’re meeting up with her, aren’t you?” She smirks.
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not” You say whilst still grabbing your stuff to go.
“Listen, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking… This is massively out of your normal behaviour. The Y/N Y/L/N doesn’t do dates. So this is clearly something special. I promise I won’t tell anyone, and I can’t wait for you to tell me all about your date later” Gio wraps you in a tight hug and kisses your cheek. “Now go get your girl!” She smacks your back.
You jog out of the house yelling a ‘bye’ and ‘love you’ to your housemates. You get in your car and drive to Guro’s apartment. As you pull up outside you see her having an animated conversation with Erin and Niamh and lower the window slightly to hear the conversation.
“No Erin, it's not some random creep I’ve met. I promise she’s really nice” Guro groans.
“I trust you, but I don’t trust her. Let me meet her. Is that her now?” She points directly at your car and starts walking towards it alongside Guro and Niamh. You decide to hop out of the car and greet them.
“Absolutely not, not a chance. Guro why a gooner!” Erin groans. You two have hung out a few times together post Chelsea and Arsenal matches so you are on good speaking terms.
“Hey nothing wrong with us!” You joke back smiling at Erin.
“Right, I’m going all protective on you now” She nudges Guro to get in your car whilst you two talk. “What are your intentions with Guro, and what happened last night?”.
“I had a feeling this was coming” You sigh “I know I have this history, but that’s all it is now. My intentions with Guro however? I don’t even know, but I do know I will treat her with the respect she deserves. I’m sorta new to this whole going on a date thing and I’m super nervous and I really like her…and now I’m rambling” You blush, Erin starts grinning, Niamh gives a nod.
“Our protective duties are done. She’s all yours. I trust you Y/N” Erin gives you a hug.
“But you didn’t even let me tell you what happened last night?” You question.
“Ah we don’t need to know, because I let you two and Niamh in last night. You were like giggly schoolgirls. You and I had to carry Guro up the stairs and that was a disaster, followed by us doing the same for Niamh. I was only joking about being protective, I know you care, even if it has only been one day of getting to know her and for the record, I had a feeling you guys would hit it off one day” She winks. You laugh and have a small conversation with the two of them before leaving for your date with Guro.
“Have fun you two! But not too much, yeah?” Niamh jokes as you start pulling the car away. As you get on the road you put your playlist on in the car and sit comfortably in Guro’s company.
“What did they say to you?” She asks, looking over to you. You keep your eyes on the road.
“Well, they went all protective, I rambled, turns out Erin let us and Niamh in last night and we carried you up the stairs, and then had to carry Niamh too. Now she thinks she’s cupid as she expected us to get on well” You chuckle, Guro groans.
“I swear to God she’s so annoying” Guro whines. “What did you ramble about?”.
“You” You say quietly.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t quite hear you” She teases.
“You know what I said. You, I rambled about you. How this is all very new to me and even if it has been less than 24 hours I already really care about you and think you deserve the world” You ramble “Look what you’ve done I’m rambling again!” You grumble.
“Well I think it’s cute” both you and Guro start blushing. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d ever be such a mess for someone.
━━━━━
"...and that's how I missed the Derby last year" You chuckle as Guro laughs along.
"To think I thought it was a sport related injury, not tripping down the stairs drunk trying to chase Frida" She laughs. You stir your coffee and admire her, you find yourself getting lost in her eyes once again.
"You know, you aren't all that bad Y/LN" Guro smiles, placing a hand on yours.
"Same with you, Reiten" You give her hand a squeeze.
"I don't wanna go back to the girls after this, I'm gonna get quizzed" Guro groans.
"You can always come over to mine? Vic and Gio will be home but we can order some food in and chill?" You offer, she nods in response.
━━━━━
You open your door and you're hit with silence, either they're in their rooms or out.
"The coast is clear, go go go" you say, dragging Guro in. Luckily you were right, neither of your housemates were home. Your phone vibrates in your pocket.
Gio - GURO REITEN?!
As you both settle on your sofa you respond to Gio.
Y/N - Damn doorbell… Just a friend x
Gio - Liar. Keep your naughty business to your room please, we will be home soon (I didn't tell Vic)❤️
You sigh as you lock your phone, look at Guro who's also looking at your phone.
"Just a friend?" Guro looks at you.
"Well… I didn't wanna put a label on it, that's a lot of pressure for us" You mumble.
"Well I don't wanna just be your friend Y/N" She strokes your cheek "I like this side of you, nervous, caring and a real charmer".
"I try, I try" You chuckle "But in all seriousness, I feel the same. How about… Dating?" You suggest.
"As long as that means I can do this…" She leans in and kisses you, you get carried away until you hear the door being unlocked, you both run up the stairs and hide from your housemates who luckily didn't spot you.
"That was a close one" Guro breathes out heavily.
You hear a hello downstairs from someone you didn't expect.
"Oh my god Frida's home from visiting her girlfriend!" You instantly jump up "I'll be right back! FRIDA FRIDA FRIDA" you run down the stairs yelling and jump into your best friend's arms.
"Oh hello Y/N, I missed you too" Frida laughs, hugging you tightly. "Where are the other two?".
"They went out, they'll be back soon though!" You smile "You should probably unpack and shower, I'll leave you to it!" you say as you run back up to your room. Guro is just sitting on your bed, admiring your room and looking at your medals and awards.
"Enjoying yourself?" you smile, she nods. You pass her your phone with your local Chinese takeaway menu on it so she can pick what she wants, once you order you cuddle on the bed just chatting quietly.
"I can't believe I'm dating an Arsenal player" Guro groans.
"I'd be honoured too" You smirk.
"You're never getting me to wear your shirt, national team maybe but Arsenal it's a hard pass" She kisses your cheek.
"What would it take to get you to wear an Arsenal shirt" You ask her.
"Hmmm" she taps her chin thinking. You smirk and lean in to kiss her. "That won't work but it'll help your case". You connect your lips and carry on from where you left off downstairs. You lean over her and kiss her from above her, it continues getting fairly heated, quiet moans, shaky breaths.
"Hey Y/N your food is…. WOOOAH! I am so sorry! I didn't know you had someone up here… wait GURO?!" Frida shrieks.
“I would say it’s not what it looks like but… yeah” You sigh as you roll off Guro.
“Y/N, a word please? In private” Frida says, waving you out of the room and shutting the door. “Okay you know I love you a lot. But Guro has been through a lot, don’t play around with her, be honest and open and you’ll be fine”.
“Frida trust me, I don’t ever want to hurt her. Yeah it’s a lot for only a day of getting to know eachother, but there’s a connection we have and I can’t explain it. Ever since I first played against her a few years back I always felt nervous seeing her. She’s just so pretty and I used to find her somewhat intimidating. I wanted to get her attention but I knew she had a girlfriend and it’d just be seen as me doing ‘a Y/N’. Main reason I stopped partying and messing about, and she doesn’t even know it.” You ramble.
“Y/N…you really do care about her don’t you? I remember the last match you played Norway that you went all blushy when you did a shirt swap with her. It all makes sense! Y/N has a loooover” Frida sings.
“Shut uuuup!” You groan. “Now can I get back to my girlfriend but not girlfriend?” You whine.
“Yep, but on one condition, you tell the team when you’re official. Both teams that is” She smirks.
“Deal” You say as you open your bedroom door to go back in.
“Come sort out your food you two, or I’m stealing your spring rolls” Frida yells up the stairs. You instantly spring off the bed.
“NOOOOO!” You run down the stairs and tackle Frida, with Guro following behind, removing you from your friend and pinning you down.
“Traitor! You’re a traitor!” You say towards Guro.
“Us Norwegians stick together” Frida fist bumps Guro and you scowl at them.
You hear a commotion at the door followed by your other housemates walking in.
“Oh. My. God. We have a Chelsea player in our house, this feels so wrong” Gio jokes, going to greet Guro “I’m Gio, but you can call me Y/N’s worst nightmare”. Guro laughs and gives Gio a small hug. Followed by Vic. The two had brought home food for them and Frida so you all sit on the sofas and eat your food, engaging in chatter.
“Guro, why her though” Frida whines.
“Hey I heard her ramble to you through the door, I think just that alone was self explanatory” Guro shrugs, your eyes go wide. Guro hugs into your side.
"I never thought I'd see Y/N with a girlfriend. You're so happy and it's barely been a day" Vic grins.
“Yeah well, get used to it” You smile leaning more into Guro.
After a few hours of chatting, eating and watching shows your housemates decide to call it a night.
“I should probably get going, I’ve got training in the morning” Guro sighs, with a sad smile on her face “I had a lot of fun Y/N, I’m really glad we did have the guts to have a drunk sleepover”.
“Me too, how about I give you a lift home? That or you can always stay for the night? I’ve got some spare clothes and I can take you home in the morning and give you a lift to training, I have no plans tomorrow so I don’t mind hel-” You ramble until Guro breaks it with a gentle kiss.
“If it helps you stop rambling, I’ll stay tonight. How about we go out for dinner tomorrow…its a team dinner with partners at Chelsea so you’re more than welcome to go with me, that’s if you’d want to do that” She blushes. You nod in response.
“We aren’t moving too fast are we?” You chuckle “Because if so, I don’t care”.
“I think we’ve both had our eye on each other for a while, so I guess we are just making up for lost time” Guro smiles, squeezing your hand as you stifle a yawn.
“Right you, let’s go to bed” She pulls you upstairs.
━━━━━
Part 2 is already in the works :)
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i've been rewatching the good place with a friend lately so i've been thinking about it a lot and i just keep thinking
about how eleanor says so much that she's not a bad person, she's just a "medium" person. she didn't kill anyone, she didn't technically abuse anyone, she was selfish but not "horrible," she was human.
except when we see eleanor pre-death, we see something different. no, she didn't murder anyone. but she was pretty horrible. she was really good at lying to elderly people to sell them fake drugs. she abused her friend's dog. she lied to her coworkers to get out of driving for them at the bar. she felt so threatened by people feeling like they were better than her that when she saw concrete proof that a coffee shop manager was misogynistic and sexually assaulted someone, she enthusiastically supported the cafe to be contrary to her boyfriend.
she is very obviously a horrible person. even in season 2, michael calls her a manipulative demon; that's not something you get called if you're just a "medium" person. what we're told, and what her reasoning is a lie. but she doesn't know it. it's a lie to the viewers.
she also stands in stark contrast with jason—who has broken the law multiple times, has gotten arrested multiple times, likes celebrities and hobbies that have a terrible reputation (not just for being "trash" but for being actively hateful), and even if he might not have killed someone, there's probably something in his repertoire that comes close. but at the same time, it's very, very obvious to see that he's a good-hearted person, who wants to do more good than harm. compared to eleanor, whose bad actions are much smaller in comparison, but her bad personality makes her less likable, and much worse. yes, of course it's about environment—but it's also about how goodness might be more accurately judged by intent than by action.
i saw someone say that it was unrealistic that eleanor didn't call chidi a racial slur when she was a white woman from arizona. sentimentally, i agree with the realism argument. but at the same time, i think it would've been out of place. eleanor would know that saying a slur is on a different level of wrong. a lot of the bad things she did were indirect; it was a lot about what she did when no one was looking. but she didn't want to see herself as a horrible person, so she wouldn't have wanted anyone to see either. as long as they didn't get too close for her.
eleanor being a "medium" person is a lie. of course she belongs in the bad place. she's initially presented as a "medium person" because the story wants us to be on her side, wants us to believe that she's as human as us, until the season one flashbacks start to tell a different story. then it makes us squint and go, no, eleanor really is a terrible person. but the show is aware of this too!
and yet, the thesis of the show is that bad people can always get better. that no one is beyond rehabilitation; that society fucks us up but it's still the choices that we make that mean the most about who we are in the end. we get to see the growth of eleanor's good person journey through the entirety of season one, so that even as we realize she was a shitty person on earth, we're still rooting for her by the end of it. season one is the show's entire thesis; seasons two through four are just proving it to us. and eleanor proves herself to us over and over again, so that even as we know how terrible she was, and how terrible she's capable of being, we still know and believe that she belongs in the good place at the end.
#eleanor is just. a really good protagonist!!!! ugh#also i just love the good place and i kept thinking about this#the good place#tgp#eleanor shellstrop#i guess#i will not often write meta about white women but mike schur really went hard with this one#an aroceu original
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One Margarita(pjm x reader)
Pairing: Park Jimin x black!female!reader
Warnings: established relationship, fluff, Smut(18+ but I don’t control what you consume), mentions of brunch, mentions of drinking alcoholic beverages, drunk antics, Jimin being a sweetheart, reader being a giggly and clingy drunk, reader also being a horny drunk, implied foreplay but I don’t write it out, on the side sex(reader lays on their side but Jimin doesn’t, hopefully I explained the position good enough hehe), missionary, doggy style, clit play, rough sex, drunk sex, a little dirty talk, Jimin’s stroke game is A+, both implied multiple orgasms and actual orgasms, implied oral(f receiving), choking with both hands, scratching, reader is dick drunk and Jimin is pussy drunk, reader trying to run from the dick but Jimin doesn’t allow it😆, bad TikTok references and I’m not sorry
A/N: And we’re back! Welcome back! I know I’ve been away for a while but I recently closed on a townhouse and I’ve been moving these past few weeks but I’m finally settled! It’s been crazy but now that I’m back, I’ll be doing regular postings again. I wrote this after seeing a Jimin edit with that One Margarita by That Chick Angel on TikTok. I just couldn’t not write about it. As for reader, I did describe them as brown skinned with love handles and saggy/droopy breasts because we’re out there! Not every breast is perky and that’s okay! They’re all beautiful! I also gave reader locs because I’ve been so many gorgeous black women really embracing them lately and I love that. Another thing, my requests are open for both BTS and Seventeen members. I’ve been rewatching both group’s In the Soop seasons and I’ve been having the best time. Both Yoongi and Woozi have been wrecking me lately. And I may or may not have a Rockstar!threesome fic planned with them😆😆I mean, long haired boyfriends that you can dress the same? Yes please. Anyway, enjoy this and thanks for reading
~
Jimin knew the moment he heard your silly giggles and the crash of the shoe rack that you were drunk off your ass.
This was a common occurrence on certain Sundays when you went out to brunch with your friends. You didn’t really like to drink but margaritas were your kryptonite, those frozen and fruity concoctions just did something for you. A few of those and your inhibitions were flying south for the winter.
Closing his book with a sigh, he stood to his feet to go and greet you at the door.
You were leaned over at the waist, one hand on the wall and the other trying to unlace the strings off your heels. How all of the shoes had gotten all over the floor was a mystery to him but he’d worry about that later.
“Baby.”
You turned your head, locs falling into your face and sticking to your lip gloss. A goofy smile spread across your face at the sight of your husband standing there, your vision slightly blurry from both your hair and the alcohol in your system.
Dropping your foot, you tried to stand to your feet but gravity was a bitch so you stumbled to the ground. Jimin immediately surged forward to help you.
Giggles erupted from you as you leaned into your dependable husband, your hands landing on his buff biceps. Mmm, he was so strong….
Placing your chin on his chest to lovingly gaze up at him, you wrapped your arms around his torso. “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii my sweet baby love muffin cake. What are….*hic*….you doing here?”
He couldn’t fight down his smile, expression full of endearment for you. God, he loved you so much. Even drunk you was adorable.
“I live here?”
Another fit of giggles. “So do I!!”
“Alright, let’s get you out of these clothes and some water.” He leaned down a little to grab your thighs and haul you up. You let out a noise as he lifted you, your arms wrapping around his neck and legs sticking straight out.
“Whoa! I am married sir.” You slurred, laying your head on his shoulder, eyelids drooping. Even while drunk and unaware, Jimin’s presence calmed you. Like your body just knew you were in safe hands and could finally relax.
He just rolled his eyes and began his walk your shared bedroom.
Gently placing you on the bed, he tried to stand but your arms locked him in your embrace. Your glossed lips left sticky kisses across his neck and jawline.
He could tell where this was going. You always got super horny after brunch. Not that he hated it, quite the contrary. Drunk sex was absolutely amazing with you—you just got so submissive and pliable. Whiny too which he secretly loved.
While he really wanted to flip you over and fuck you until you were sober, he knew he had to get you situated first.
“Baby, let me go. I have to get you out of these clothes.”
You whispered, “Please do.” Releasing him, he rolled his neck, relieving a bit of the tension from bending over in that position.
“I’m readyyyyyyy.” You opened your legs in a V shape, smacking your ankles together in an attempt to be sexy but Jimin just thought you were funny.
He walked over to your dresser to pick out something for you to wear. A muu-muu would be the easiest to slip on you in your jelly like state, he thought.
When he turned back around, he found you trying to get your pants off while your legs were still in the air.
“Let me help.” He gently said, starting to untie your heels from around your legs. You were being surprisingly docile while he did this. Probably because you were about ready to pass out.
After he got your shoes off, he grabbed both sides of your pants to pull them off your legs.
You giggled again. “Do you know how many margaritas it would take for me to open my legs?”
How could he know that? But he’d play along. “No. How many?”
You motioned for him to lean closer to you which he did. “None.”
You decided to drop your legs at this moment, revealing your panties and fat cunt to him. Your lips had all but swallowed up the fabric, juices soaking them.
He could feel his cock jump at the sight. How were you already that wet?
Focus, Jimin! Get her dressed and get her water.
Shaking his head to try and clear his thoughts of fucking you into the mattress, he reached down to undo the buttons of your blouse next, trying to ignore the bedroom eyes you were sending him as he did so. You barely helped him actually get the shirt off, your arms trying to pull him back down to kiss you again. Sliding an arm under your back, he lifted you up so that he could slip your shirt off of you. Thankfully, you weren’t wearing a bra, just boob tape holding them up. Good thing he’s watched you take it off so he knew what to do.
20 minutes later and Jimin had managed to get you into the bathroom to clean off your makeup, remove the boob tape, and get you into your muu-muu before getting you back into the bed.
Now he could give you the attention you so desperately needed.
On your side, leg thrown over his shoulder and his weight pushing down on you, his cock was stretching out your begging cunt.
The alcohol in your system was only making your pleasure feel ever more powerful, waves of buzzing euphoria flowing over your body.
“Hmmmm, yeah baby….just like thaaaaatttt…” You moaned, one of your arms wrapped around Jimin’s shoulders and hand tangled in his soft hair.
Both of his fists were on either side of you, holding himself up, hips trying to push his cock deeper and deeper into your pussy. He was weak. Weak for you. He thought he would be able to make it, maybe get you to take a nap and let you sober up a little before you had sex. But you weren’t having it. All he did was turn his back to grab your bonnet and you were pulling your panties to the side, giving him an unhindered view of your leaking folds. How could he not latch his lips around your clit and make you scream? It was impossible. You were impossible but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now both of you were 2 orgasms in and ready to burst.
His cock was touching the deepest parts of you, the head almost touching your cervix and the veins rubbing up against your most sensitive spots. Your arousal soaked walls hugging his cock and pushing him to the brink of madness. You were like an angel sent just for him, everything about you perfect in his eyes. He was obsessed with you in the best of ways.
And god, your pussy was like his own slice of heaven.
That feeling began to build in your tummy once again, another orgasm just inches from you.
You tossed your head back against the pillows, fingers gripping Jimin’s nape to pull him closer to you. His hot breath fanned over your face, plump lips dropped open to let gasps and groans pass.
“I fucking love this cock….you’re so deep.”
“Yeah? You like this cock, baby?”
You nodded your head, eyes shut in ecstasy as you focused on your impending orgasm. Your whole body felt floaty. Jimin’s cock was scrambling your already buzzed brain, his heated skin against yours relaxing your bones even further.
Jimin ran his lips up your sweaty throat, your brown skin smelling like Thank U, Next, your favorite perfume nowadays. “Touch yourself.” He whispered against your skin.
You shakily reached down to press two fingers against your neglected nub. Your toes curled, the stimulation propelling you right to the edge.
“That’s it. Faster. Make yourself cum.” He sat up on his haunches, using his hand to push his hair back out of his face. A simple movement he did often but in this situation, it made him look ten times sexier. Sweat dripped down his bare chest, abs flexing and muscles in his arms shifting around. Fuck, you wanted to bite him.
He grabbed the leg that was over his shoulder, pressing a few kisses to your calf before pulling your hips up so that he could really start pounding into you.
The feeling of his cock bullying your walls paired with your fingers on your clit and you were about ready to ascend.
Jimin almost thought he was dreaming. You just looked so ethereal while locked in pleasure. Your glowing skin, bouncing breasts, eyes rolling and mouth dropped open to let calls of his name out. Fuck, you were breathtaking. His eyes went down to where you were connected, your cunt leaving his cock coated in a shiny sheen. You were practically dripping, your arousal dripping down between your ass cheeks and staining the sheets.
He dropped your leg to lean down over your body, hands moving to both sides of your head. You adjusted yourself to be fully on your back which allowed his cock to reach even deeper, your legs wrapping around his waist.
His strokes were long and deep, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.
“Kiss me….please baby.” You begged, puckering your lips. He happily obliged, pressing sloppy pecks to your waiting pout. “M’gunna cummmm, cumming baby. Harder.” You were breathless, lungs struggling to pull oxygen into your body. Jimin invaded your senses—his scent, his body heat, the feeling of his affection and intimacy. You felt so good under him, in his embrace and covered by his love.
Wrapping both of his hands around your throat, he began driving his cock in and out of your dripping pussy. Your hands gripped at his arms, running your nails down the skin and leaving red streaks in its wake. Your throat burned from the scream you let out, head lifting to get a look at where he was entering you. Just the sight of his cock moving in and out, covered in your arousal and the creamy ring around the base, was enough to propel you right off the edge.
His own resolve was starting to crumble. Your pussy just felt too good. Pulling his lip between his teeth, he hissed, “shit, you feel so good…love this pussy.” He was pushing his hips harder and harder into you, the backs of your thighs starting to burn from from the constant contact.
It felt like he was shaking your thoughts loose. You weren’t drunk on mimosas anymore, now you’re drunk on your man’s dick. If you could bottle and drink this feeling, they’d have to admit you to a rehab.
Back arching, your orgasm full body absorbed you. Your vision blurred, waves of endless pleasure cascading over you and sending you straight to the King. Your hands went to his waist, digging your nails into the skin there. He hissed at the sting but it only made his cock throb.
You hadn’t even come down before Jimin was flipping your weak body over, pulling your hips up so you were in doggy style. You let out a breath now that you could breathe. His hands gripped your love handles, using them to yank you back on his cock.
With this position, you could feel every ridge and inch of him, the head of his cock pushing into your abused soft spot.
Drool leaked from the corners of your mouth, your eyes rolling back and hands practically ripping the pillow under you.
Jimin gritted his teeth as your walls constricted around him, trying to milk him for everything he was worth.
“Bout to cum. Fuck, bout to fill this pussy up.”
Pleasure sparked down his back as you gushed around him, more wetness leaking from you and soaking the backs of your thighs and his cock.
With a few more thrusts, he was pulling your ass back until he was buried all the way in your cunt, shooting his cum into your pulsing pussy. His orgasm was enough to make you cum again, your hips jumping trying to run from him but his hands held you still.
He leaned down until his chest was pressed into your back. “Stop running. Take it.” He grunted in your ear and you wondered if you could marry someone again while already being married to them.
After a few minutes of resting, Jimin sluggishly lifted himself from your back, lifting his hand to push his sweaty hair back. Now both of you would need a nice, long bath.
“Baby? Are you okay?” He noticed you’ve yet to move, not even a groan from him resting on your back like you normally did. He tapped your shoulder, still no movement.
Then he moved your locs that had covered your face to the side, finding your relaxed and resting face. You had fallen asleep. Of course.
He sighed, tapping you again. “Baby, get up. You should get cleaned up.” Still nothing.
Later after you woke up from a long nap, you found Jimin in the kitchen making a late lunch. The first thing you noticed were the red streaks across his back and arms. Wow, you didn’t even remember doing that.
You approached him, wrapping your arms around his waist, pressing a light kiss to his shoulder.
“Finally awake? How do you feel?”
You shrugged. “Fine. A little sore but nothing I can’t handle.”
He hummed and you two stood in silence for a moment before he broke it.
“How many drinks did you have?”
5 margaritas. That’s how many it took.
#bts#bts smut#bts fic#bts imagines#bts x black reader#jimin smut#jungkook smut#namjoon smut#seokjin smut#hoseok smut#yoongi smut#taehyung smut
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David McCallum Vs. David Selby
Propaganda
David McCallum - (The Man From U.N.C.L.E, Colditz, The Outer Limits) - He became one of the hottest leading men of 1960s tv with The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and McCallum received more fan mail than any other actor in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer's history, including such popular MGM movie stars as Clark Gable and Elvis Presley. He turned his Russian character from side-kick to co-star in one season during the height of the cold war. Artists wrote hit camp songs about his character like "Love Ya, Illya"
David Selby - (Dark Shadows, Falcon Crest) - VERY handsome. 16 magazine had articles about him for a reason. Does such a good job as Quentin, every moment he's onscreen is a delight. He's funny, he's evil, he's Going Thru It, he's being stupid, WHATEVER it is he's great at it. So tall in the 1960s you can clearly see him having to duck through some doorways onscreen, and still pretty darn tall as an old man. (I actually just met him recently and got his autograph, he was very nice!) If tumblr was around in the 1960s he would have been prime tumblr sexyman material.
Master Poll List | How to submit propaganda | What is vintage? (FAQ)
Additional propaganda below the cut
David McCallum:
Everyone knows him as Ducky from NCIS or Ashley Pitt from The Great Escape, but David McCallum was also the original Man From UNCLE, for which role he recieved record setting amounts of fan mail. Was considered to play the Doctor. Charles Bronson stole his first wife, but his second marriage lasted over 55 years, until his death, so who's the winner here.
He became an expert on forensics during his time with JAG/NCIS and attended multiple medical examiner conventions for research.
youtube
A classically trained musician, he created several instrumental albums in the 60's his biggest hit is a cover of The Edge which has appeared in movies and video games and sampled by rap artists.
David Selby:
Dark Shadows was a daily soap opera in the 60's and that means that unless an actor swore or something truly heinous happened all mistakes are just there for our viewing pleasure.
Here have this video of his character and another dude right after trying to summon the devil
youtube
I love David Selby and I love David Selby as Quentin Collins (all of them). He plays the tragic, disaster, self-absorbed "hero" so well and is one of the original wet cat men of TV.
Also this incredibly gay scene of those two characters
TW: Gypsy Slur
youtube
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Following the post earlier this week from @dropoutdottv , I feel it necessary to speak out against their statement and add my voice to the many other Jewish fans that have raised issue with them. Their recent stance that has come out about "platforming zionists" is extremely antisemitic and problematic. As has been mentioned a few times relating to this post, the term ‘Zionist’ is very often used as a slur for Israelis and/or Jews. Responding to accusations of “platforming zionists” with what essentially boils down to “we checked with every Jew to see what their political stance is on a country they may or may not have any connection to, and made sure that they were a Good JewTM who agrees with us” is…troubling to say the least. According to a survey done in June by the AJC, 85% of American Jews feel that it’s important to support Israel in the aftermath of October 7th, not to mention Jews worldwide. To claim that they are “granting grace” for people to grow and educate themselves, heavily implying that Zionism is an outdated belief that Jews should discard is, again, hugely problematic. Additionally, as a streaming platform, coming out and making a claim of genocide is outrageous, especially given the lack of evidence and support of this claim. On the other hand, Hamas and other Palestinian authorities have been open and forthright about their genocidal values, which has gone completely unmentioned. Also unmentioned is every attack Hamas, Hebollah, and Iran have made against Israel, which, if not for the Iron Dome and other protective systems, would have decimated Israeli civilians (as well as the attack which started this war in the first place, which did target civilians, many of whom are still held hostage by Hamas). The truth is, as a comedy show, trying to get involved in or make grandiose statements on any international politics is beyond absurd - a fact dropout seems to understand given its lack of commentary on any other international conflict or affair. This is an obviously complex issue and giving full support to one side of the conflict while outright saying that they would never host Zionists on the platform is just plain and simple antisemitism. Making the situation worse, the wording of the post is highly inflammatory and exacerbates the conflict and current situation by encouraging those who initiated the conflict in the first place to continue trying to exterminate all Zionists rather than lay down their arms and negotiate for peace. Not only is Dropout encouraging this, they are actively supporting organizations that have ties to terrorist groups, such as the UNRWA, which has had multiple members investigated for actively participating in the October 7th massacre, as well as for keeping civilian hostages in their homes. And to tie it all up, there’s the claim of occupation. This is a blatant denial of history, as Jews, historically, have our roots tied to the ancient kingdom of Judea, located in modern day Israel. The Jewish calendar, as well as Jewish law, revolves around the farming seasons of Israel. So much so, that there are some laws that one is only allowed to keep within Israel (see shmita). To now cry “occupation” is to deny Jews the right to live peacefully in a land that we have always had a presence in, even throughout the long years of the Diaspora.
So dropout, I ask you to reconsider your statement. Please, listen to what your Jewish fanbase is telling you. We just need you to listen.
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Drive With You Forever
Chapter eight: somethings missing
Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader
Chapter summary: the group deals with Daniel and his antics, max and Charles fight for the championship, reader is actively fighting her car.
Warnings: hospitals, drugging, talks of infertility, no consent medical procedures, anxiety, talks of abuse, mentions of depression, sexual innuendo
Notes: this one was hard to write tbh. There was just a lot going on. Also I feel like I’m getting bolder. I blame it on the face I’ve been on A03 a lot the last week.
Previous <-
7.5 <-
Masterlist
Moving day could not come fast enough.
Turns out Daniel is more perverted than they expected. They found him spying on them multiple times.
Mostly just enough for stolen kisses. Once on them doing things when they thought he was gone for the night. Turns out he lied.
That being said, he is a caring friend and made safety the number one concern. None of them posted anything about where they were. Daniel never had anyone over. He checked his locks and windows multiple times before bed just to help them sleep.
It was a relief to finally have their own space again. More space compared to the original apartment. Dating a world champion definitely has its perks.
The security is much better here also. More cameras around the outside. Not being able to come up unless personally invited and cleared with the front desk of the building.
They felt themselves being able to relax. Something they drastically needed before the start of the season.
~
The 2022 season came around fast. Already two races in and redbull was ready to dominate.
Much to Charles misfortune.
They didn't have hard feelings about anything, though. They all celebrated each others highs and consoled in the lows. The rest of the grid wondered how they managed.
Unless, of course, it's Daniel who knows exactly how they manage given the Brit slipped about his phone password and never changed it.
The third race of the season had just concluded. It's her first, Charles second, and Max third. Not exactly sure how she managed to get up there, but she didn't care.
As celebrations ended, she found herself going back to her room to get ready for the press conference. Occasionally, being stopped by fans on her way.
Charles spots her and is jogging in her direction. "Off to get the champagne out of your hair, I assume?"
"Correct. I'm leaving it everywhere else, though, for later." She winks. Her confidence had been getting better lately. The boys doing their best to help her come out of her shell. It also helps when the hate and nasty comments get to much for her. They make sure to stick her back together.
Her and Charles take a corner, and every sound goes underwater. It didn't matter that it had been six years since she'd seen him, her father looked exactly the same as the day she left.
Air left her lungs. Her hands shakily fumble for anything to help hold her up. Grateful that Charles is there to help her stay on her feet.
He's wearing a plain T-shirt and jeans. His face has more wrinkles now. He looks more built than she last remembers, yet he remains the same.
"Chéri? What's wrong?" Charles is scanning over her body and trying to follow her gaze. His eyes land on the figure moving towards them.
Then she's running with Charles in tow. The Monegasque is trying to put pieces together, but nothing comes to mind. That wasn't the man who'd given them the box. Was it..? No way. He absolutely refuses to believe her father had managed his way here.
"I need to know what's going on so I can help." He cradles the girls face. Her eyes are distant and moving rapidly to assess her surroundings.
"It's him- need Seb." She pants. Her words mildly slurred from her body's current lack of control.
Charles’ plan to text them is foiled by the figure - her father - now coming around the corner. Heading straight for them at a rapid pace.
Charles knows he's not going to get anywhere fast enough, and he'll just follow anyway. Instead, he takes the girl and tucks her protectively behind him.
Charles feels himself recoil in disgust. The entirety of this man drips unpleasant things. He tries to put up a brave front as he feels the girl behind him shaking like a leaf.
"Do you need something?"
"I actually want a picture, with just y/n if you don't mind." The man's voice is coarse and unpleasant to listen to.
"We're actually on our way to a press conference, but possibly later." Charles smiles unwillingly. Hopefully, playing along with whatever this game is will get him to go away.
Charles is taken off guard when he's shoved abruptly aside. He curses himself for trying to look relaxed, letting himself be moved so easily.
He tries to pull her away by her shoulder. Force her to keep walking until someone can help them. But she's frozen in place. The proximity of her father and his disgusting hands on her biceps makes Charles broil with anger.
Charles makes a move to get in between them, but he's too late.
A hand has left her arm and into his pocket. A blunt needle comes back at her so fast that even as Charles pulls her, it still makes contact. The contents spilling into her.
It is cold and unpleasant, and she hates it. Her father is just laughing as Charles drags her to safety. "You should have come home! Now you'll have to come back.”
Charles tries to hold the needle where it lands until he can pull it out. The awkward angle it entered below her collar bone makes if difficult.
Her body is failing. She wants to blame it on shock, but this feels different. The energy she's gotten good at controlling now surges with a lack of purpose and a heap of vengeance.
Charles can feel her skin heating up as he drags her to the redbull motor home.
He's thankful when he spots Christian and yells out to him. The team principle is volting to his side when he sees the female driver unresponsive.
"What happened?"
"It's a lot to explain. We need to get her somewhere safe, and then I need to find Sébastien." It's a demand and he's thankful Christian can tell he is trying to figure things out.
They successfully get her into her small driver room. Then he's calling Seb and texting their group chat.
When he receives confirmation that they are on their way, he turns his attention to the comically large needle stuck in his lover.
"Somone came at us while we were walking. I tried to pull her out of the way, but it didn't matter. He was too close." Charles is on the brink of tears now and Christian can see it.
The older man does his best to slide the needle out, wrap it in a towel, and throw it away.
Max and Lando come barreling through the door seconds later. Terror hitting both their faces as they set eyes on their sick looking lover.
She's lost color in her face, she's sweating more now then when she races on a blistering hit day, her body temperature is burning, and her eyes are rolling into the back of her head.
Seb also runs through the door and halts in his tracks. "Was it... was it him?"
Charles just shakes his head. Then Christian is yanked outside the room by Seb. The door clicking behind them.
All three of them get to work trying to soothe her. Max starts running a cold shower to bring her body temp down. Charles is patching the hole in her collar bone, and Lando is perched right next to her, talking and running his fingers in patterns despite the burn.
It doesn't matter, though. She isn't waking up.
~
They end up taking her to the hospital. Praying they don't take her away from them if they find something unusual.
She's woken up a few times, but her panic just made the doctors put her back under. They said she was drugged, and they needed to flush her system. Again, they hoped it stayed that way.
The press conference didn't happen. Neither did any other media, for that matter. The paddock was closed down due to the security issue.
Seb had done his best to explain to Christian that her father is a madman and had made threats but now was acting on them. The team principle is now working with security to try and figure out how to keep him away.
The boys left the room in shifts. Usually having to send a runner to go get essential items for survival.
They watched over her with vigor. Trapped in the ICU for three days. Only leaving when they were forced out by the nurses for the night.
Max was the one to greet her when she woke up. His fingers thread through her hair in hopes of keeping her from thrashing and trying to get out.
It worked.
"I feel awful." She rasps. Her throat is dry from lack of use and lack of liquids. She lets Max's piercing value eyes ground her as she gets her bearings. "Why am I-"
"It doesn't matter right now. You're alive, and that's what counts." Max brings her knuckles up to his lips, placing a soft kiss against them.
Now that she's awake, Seb forced the boys to take proper showers and eat a real meal. Claiming that she's going to need them at their best.
Hanna stays with her while they are gone. Something she didn't know would be best until a female doctor came in with unexpected news.
"Have you ever had a menstrual cycle before?" She asks carefully.
The girls eyes dart between Hanna and the doctor. "I'm not sure, actually. I've never bled before if that's what you mean."
The doctor sighed sympatheticly. "While we were running some tests, we did an ultrasound. We wanted to make sure you weren't pregnant, and we needed to also treat the baby just in case. We found that your uterus and ovaries have been removed."
The girl looks at Hanna. The older woman is on the brink of tears. "Thank you." She says. "Can you give us a moment please?"
The doctor nods her head politely then leaves the two alone.
"I'm confused. What does that - Can I not -"
Hanna shakes her head. The only confirmation she needed. Then she's mourning something she didn't even know she lost until now. Something she didn't even know she wanted.
Her father had put her through a lot as a child. She was drugged and unconscious for weeks sometimes.
Another thing he stole from her.
~
Seb is comforting an emotional Hanna when the trio returns. All of them are frantic now. Desperate to get into the room.
Seb stops them before they can get there. "Be gentle with her." Is all he says before letting them in.
She looks like she's not in her body anymore. Like her mind is in another place.
All of them file on around her. Max and Charles are taking the chairs, and Lando slides himself onto the end of the bed with her.
"He took something else." She stared at the wall. Lando touches her arm but gets no reaction. “My reproductive organs are gone.”
Their faces are shocked. Her period isn't something she brought up. They just assumed she's private about it or it's irregular because of everything she's been through. Now, it makes sense. Why she's never run out of hygiene products and why she never complains of cramps in her lower abdomen.
They don't mourn for her, but with her.
"It doesn't change the fact that we love you."
~
Going home felt scary. Like somehow he would be there waiting to snatch her up.
Max is hyper aware of everything. Charles is attempting to hold off any media that wants the story. Lando is dutifully keeping phones away from all of them. Then there's her, sitting, breathing, wondering if she deserves to be here with them still.
The bed is her new home. She spends her days recovering there. Everyone else is bustling about as she waits for the hours to slink by.
Max is the first to drag her out of bed. Well, not drag, more like man handle. He picks her up out of the comically large mattress and tosses her over the laps of the two boys on the couch.
She doesn't protest. Even as Max slides himself under her to join them.
"It's movie night and your turn to pick."
"Didn't I pick last week?"
"... we skipped three weeks to make it your turn again."
The boys shake their heads at Landos' poor excuse. It's a miracle they managed to come out to the world on their own.
They don't end up watching a movie. Instead, they just talk. The four cuddled up on the couch together. The comfortable atmosphere making her nerves settle.
And she thinks that maybe, just maybe, she can make it through.
~
The next race comes around far too quickly. She's not fully recovered, but she knows she wants to race.
Christian takes his time with her. He doesn't know everything, but he knows enough. He made sure to tell her that her health and safety is their number one concern.
She convinces him that she's fine.
The weekend goes smoothly until Q3 of qualifying. The car decides to not stear as she tries to take a corner during a flying lap, sending her straight into the wall.
Nobody understands what happened. She had seen it coming and tried to adjust, but nothing helped. She felt useless.
All these times, she could have prevented these terrible outcomes, and yet it feels as though something is actively working against her.
Her race engineer and Christian are quick to reassue her that it's not her fault. Logically, she knows that. Mentally and emotionally, she keeps blaming herself.
It's almost as if the car is trying to kill her.
The same thing happens on Sunday during the race. The brakes malfunction, and she hits the wall at speed that makes the crowd go quiet.
Thankfully, she's fine. The boys continue their race, knowing she's okay.
The next race is filled with more of the same. All four wheels of the car manage to puncture and leave her stranded along the track. Then, during the race, she struggles to deaccelerate.
It's unsafe, and her team knows it, but she refuses to retire the care. She manages to cross the line in third in a heap of exhaustion. Nobody knows how she managed that one.
The notes have started showing up in random places around Monaco. She feels like she's being watched all the time.
They tried to go out to a party one night just for her to end up with a spiked drink and an unknown male figure trying to take her somewhere else.
The boys were quick to put a stop to that and take her home.
Race after race, it seems as though everything is working against her. She can't help her team or Max in regards to racing. She's left to just watch and celebrate whichever of the two championship contenders comes out on top of each race.
It's high, and it's low, and she is definitely ready for the much needed summer break.
~
Next ->
Tags: @styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jjsprobablywrong @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak @jjsprobablywrong
@chanshintien
#x reader#fanficion#f1 fic#formula one#formula 1#racing#angst#max verstappen#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris#max verstappen x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x you#redbull racing#formula racing#charles leclerc fic#mclaren formula 1#super max#fluff#ferrari#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#mclaren racing#scuderia ferrari#charles leclerc x max verstappen#lestappen#lando norris x reader#max verstappen fanfic#charles leclerc x female reader
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Peakaboo! I see you... (modern!Stalker!Aegon II Targaryen x reader)
synopsis: You have always felt safe in your own home, shutting out the scary, real world. Unknowing, that someone stared at you through the large windows almost every day and night. But a window is just glass, and glass… oh it breaks so, so easily…
warnings: Dark fic, non-con, slight somnophilia, stalking, obsession, mentions of alcohol and drinking, afab reader, angst, fluff, smut, oral sex (f receiving), p in v sex
word count: 8k
taglist: @urmomsgirlfriend1, @agqrtz
(If you want to be tagged in the `kissing booth AU´, for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)
a/n: So, in honor of spooky season I started rewatching `You´ and this is what happened. Let me know if I missed any tw´s or anything. I hope y´all enjoy!! <3
When you had moved to King´s landing you found yourself alone and truly scared for the first time in your life. Fleabottom wasn´t the safest place to begin with, but it was the only thing you could afford while attending Uni, leaving you very little safe spaces. One of them being your friend Sarah Snow´s place and the other, your own apartment. Where you could shut out the scary real world with the turn of a key and multiple locks. Cuddling into your bed with your phone, the tv providing the only source of light in the apartment. It´s still early in the evening, but you had always valued a quiet night in over going out to some shitty bar or club or party, like your friends did. You silently shake your head at the thought of Sarah, Aly and Cassandra getting hammered at some party right now. And as if they heard your thoughts your phone starts to ring with an incoming videocall.
“Hey girl!” Aly exclaimed the second you accept the call. Making you hold the phone a little further away at the sheer volume of her voice. You can see your other two friends in the background, getting ready for going out.
“Hey, Aly. What are you up to?” You ask in a much quieter tone.
“We´re going out tonight.” By the way her words slur ever so slightly it is clear that the three of them had been pregaming.
“Okay, but… Why are you calling me? You know I am not in on the whole party thing.” A feeling in your gut told you, that a plan was afoot. A plan you wouldn´t like as much as sitting at home and watching movies.
“You´re coming with us. That´s why.” Cassandra´s voice sounds from the background.
“Oh no. No. No. No.” You insist.
“No, no talking back this time. Your gonna like it. I promise. There is this really niche bar, that has an open mic thing tonight for anyone that wants to share their work. It will be great.” Cassandra tries to convince you in a sweet voice.
“Ugh. Cas, Aly…”
“Come on. You always whine about being insecure about your writing. This could be great for you.” Sometimes you really hated your friends persistence. Especially when her points weren´t even half bad.
“Alright, fine. Send me the address and give me an hour to get ready.” You hear them cheering as you rub your eyes with the hand that isn´t holding up the phone. “But I won´t get behind that microphone. No matter what you say.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just get yourself presentable and come down. We´ll meet you there.” Just as suddenly as they had called you, they hang up again.
You throw your phone to the side and sigh deeply. Running your hands over your face, followed by bringing them down onto your upper thighs in an attempt to motivate yourself. Of course it doesn´t work and so, with another sigh you turn the tv off and hop into the shower. The warm water feels nice on your skin and when the time to step out, the typical feeling of not wanting to leave overcomes you. But you have to get ready if you don’t want to get shit from Sarah or Cas, so you force yourself to put on some light makeup and grab the next best clothes from your closet, that make you look presentable. Looking at the location of the bar you realize that it is only a few subway stops from your place and so you grab your phone, keys and wallet and head out to the station closest to your place. Checking twice if the pepper spray is still in your purse.
You walk down the stairs just in time for the subway to arrive.
When you arrive at the bar Sarah, Cassandra and Aly are already waiting outside. Greeting you with a mutually hollered “Babes!!”
“Heyyy!” You mirror their tone. Putting on a wide smile to not let them see how tired you really were.
Together the four of you enter the bar and the first thing you notice over the low chatter is how stuffed it is already. You barely find a table that fits all of you and immediately order a round of shots. A good choice as it turns out, because you barely have time to put down your coat, when you hear your name announced over the mic. A frown flits over your face, but you don´t have the heart or maybe the energy for a discussion now, so you pound back another shot and get up on the small makeshift stage. You sit down on the uncomfortable bar stool and introduce yourself. Beginning to read the latest excerpt from the book you were writing that you still have on your phone. The audience honestly doesn´t give much of a reaction, aside from your friend´s aggressive cheers. And the spotlight blinds you a bit, letting your anxiety practically spike. You can hear your voice shake as you read. Your hands and legs still tremble when you finally get back to the table.
“Y´all are such assholes. I told you I didn´t wanna read…” You protested as you take a drink from them.
“Aw, you were great either way, babes. Now come on. Let´s enjoy the evening.” Sarah tries to keep peace, laying a soothing hand on your arm. You know she means well. All of them do, but you still feel kind of hurt, that they had gone behind your back like that.
Over all the commotion and the people that read after you, you completely ignore the blonde stranger who, ever since you had entered the bar, couldn´t seem to turn his eyes away from you. Blissfully unaware of the dark thoughts behind them. And it stays that way until you leave. Tipsy, staggering up to the uber under his hidden watchful eyes. You close the door behind you and push the feeling of being watched aside as a side effect of being a woman alone in the outside world. He follows you in his own car. Thoughts of needing to have you and being the one for you swirling in his mind and possessing his every thought. Your mind however is occupied with the need for sleep and so he goes easily unnoticed. Looking through the widow of your ground level apartment as you undress and go to bed in only your underwear. He can even count himself lucky enough to go unnoticed by you over the next few days as you follow your usual routine. Going to the gym, the library, lessons, grocery shopping. Whatever you do, his eyes are on you. Until he is sure he knows your schedule by heart. Moving him along to step two of his plan.
You meet up with your friends at a bar again. A different one this time and on your own accord. It was the last day before spring break and them all leaving to visit home. All of them except for you. You don´t mind not going home so much as being alone for a whole week. So, you make sure to enjoy the evening with them and once again ignore the feeling of being watched that had sat in the back of your brain for the past week or so. And when you go to get another round of drinks, that´s when he strikes.
You make your way over to the bar. Not really looking where you are going, when you run into someone. Their drink spilling all over the front of your shirt. You jump back as the wet fabric clings to your skin.
“Woah, I´m so sorry. Are you okay?” The stranger gives you a bright smile, flashing his perfect teeth. A smile that reaches his lilac eyes. Making them sparkle and crinkling their corners. He holds out some napkins for the stain that steadily grows more uncomfortable.
“Thank you. Yes, no. Yeah, I´m alright. Uh, I´m sorry too. I totally didn´t watch where I was going.” You tap at the stain in order to hopefully take some of it off. Smiling back at him. You can´t help but to. “Let me buy you a new drink. To make up for all of that.”
“No, no. I should buy you one. I totally ruined your shirt. I insist.” He is so effortlessly sympathetic that you couldn´t even protest against his words if you wanted to.
“Okay.” Youn nod and follow him to the bar, where you sit down together.
“I´m Aegon, by the way.” He extends his hand for you to shake, which you do while offering up your name.
“It´s nice to meet you, Aegon.” The two of you order drinks and fall into conversation easily. Talking about anything and everything until you feel your phone vibrate inside of your pocket. Pulling it out you see Cassandra´s name on the screen. Reminding you of who you actually came here with and why.
Another glance at the clock tells you, that it is well past midnight.
“Shit, I didn´t realize it was that late already.” You turn to him to say goodbye. Ready to never see this handsome not so strange stranger ever again, when he makes you another offer.
“Want me to drive you home? It´s probably not safe out there at this time of night.”
“That would actually be so great, but I´d hate to inconvenience you. I probably live in the whole other direction from where you need to go.” You rub your neck. Taking a step back, ready to leave to say goodbye to your friends.
“Come on, it would be my pleasure to do that for you. I would hate for something to happen to you on your way home. Just say yes.” Aegon´s gaze is so intense and there is only one thought behind them, that the alcohol has made you ignorant of to his luck. If you leave alone now, he wasted his chance.
You sigh. “Okay, alright. Thank you so much. I just need to say bye to my friends and then we can go.”
He offers you his jacket to hide the stained shirt and then follows your lead back to the table.
“Hey, girls. I´m super sorry I just dipped, but I met Aegon and he´s gonna drive me home now. I´ll explain tomorrow. Okay?”
“Yeah, alright. Just be safe and don´t do anything we wouldn´t do.” They wink at you and turn back to their conversation as you and Aegon make your way outside to his car.
Ever so gentlemanly he opens the door to the passenger side of the golden Mercedes s-class for you, making you curtsy jokingly and giggle, then walks around to the driver side, to get in himself.
The two of you find your way back into the conversation and so you don´t even realize that you never actually told him were you lived. Nevertheless he pulls up in front of your apartment complex in no time.
“I had a really nice evening with you tonight.” He says with another wide grin and soft chuckle.
“Me too. And I´m sorry again for that drink. One would think that at my age I would´ve learned how to watch where I´m going.” You run a hand through your hair. Still slightly embarrassed about your carelessness.
“No, again, it is fine. I should have watched my steps as well, but if you really want to apologize you could give me your number? And we could meet up again some time. I´m guessing you´re on spring break too now.” It´s almost frustrating how good he looks with his head tilted and those beautiful lilac puppy dog eyes. If there was any doubt about wanting to see him again, they are all gone now. You need to see him again. So, you pull out your phone and give him your number.
“Don´t let me wait too long before I hear from you.” You give him one last smile before exiting the car. He sits in the car until you close the building door behind you and then parks his car around the corner to go back and observe you for a bit longer without being overly obvious.
Through the large windows Aegon watches you like every night of the past week. Stepping out of your clothes, doing your nightly skincare routine, before slipping on the smallest pair of pajamas he had ever seen and slip underneath the covers to watch some more tv. Falling asleep in front of it. All with an almost dorky smile. He thinks you are the cutest thing he has ever seen. The way you are so excited about your little meeting is something he has never seen in his life and he is instantly hooked. Fantasies about you being all excited and running up to him when he enters the apartment after a long day out enter his mind. Thoughts about sharing the sweetest kisses. When he opens his eyes he sees something that isn´t as innocent as he first perceived you.
Your hands caress your breasts and wander bellow the blanket, your back arching as they enter your core.
Aegon lets out a breathless curse. His own hand wandering inside his pants to tug on his length. His thoughts turn instantly. From innocent kisses to you arching your back up until your breasts touch his chest. Writhing and squirming underneath him from the pleasure he is giving you. Your tight walls fluttering around his cock as you come from the circles his thumb rubs into your clit. He has to clamp his hand over his mouth so you don´t hear him moan outside of your window. Once he´s finished, he leaves. Not wanting to push his luck, but definitely looking forward to the next time he´d see you.
The next morning you text the girls group chat. Apologizing for your behavior the previous night, by telling them every detail about the conversation with Aegon. How nice he was to you and how you thought that maybe, after a couple more dates, you could say he is the one. And as if he smelled you were talking about him in that moment you get a message from Aegon. Asking you out for coffee. You try to hide the smile that forces its way onto your mouth by biting your lower lip, even though there is no one there to hide it from. You answer him quickly and this time take a little extra time getting ready. Facetiming Aly, who is the only one that isn´t on a plane yet, to consult her on what best to wear. Even if she teases you relentlessly about being so nervous about a simple coffee date.
The truth is you haven´t been out on an actual date in years. Not after your last boyfriend had broken up with you for reasons only known to that absolute piece of shit. You had wasted three years pf your life on him and he couldn´t even give you a reason as to why he didn´t want to be with you anymore all of a sudden.
You take a deep breath to calm your nerves and hopefully stop the bouncing on your leg. Entering the small café he had asked you out to where you find him already sat at a table. A half smirk spreads his face. And by the seven you have to calm yourself down not to do anything embarrassing as a result of the glee you feel upon seeing him.
“Hey, I didn´t make you wait too long did I?” You ask bashfully.
“No worries. I basically just sat down.” He assures you. Watching with careful eyes as you take of your coat to reveal the dress you had chosen with Aly´s help and are now second guessing if the choice hadn´t been a bit too revealing.
“Phew, I´m glad to hear that. I hate making people wait for me.” You wipe away an imaginary drop of sweat and chuckle.
“Nah, you´re good.” He goes to say something else, but in that moment a waitress interrupts him to take your order. Which of course Aegon makes a mental note of. Just like anything he had learned about you so far. The waitress, an older woman, seems to recognize the nature of your meeting and how nervous you are and gives you an encouraging smile. You smile back at her and make sure to remember to tip her later.
“Alright so, normally I´d ask how you have been, but since we last saw each other last night I guess did you come home well yesterday?” You quipped.
“Yeah, I did. How about you?” The two of you share a laugh. Without the alcohol in your system he seems even more effortlessly charming. Coffee gets followed by dinner, which he invites you to. Talking about family, life, dreams and aspirations. You tell him about your parents’ divorce, the relationship you have with all of them, how studying and writing is going. How your dream is to be published one day. You open up to him more than you ever have to anyone in that short amount of time and he listens. He listens so well. Telling you about his studies and his father’s company, that he will inherit one day, yet he never makes you feel small compared to him, like others would probably make you feel. It would be easy to, but he just doesn´t. And your feelings for him grow ever stronger. He even persists on paying for you. Saying that you could pay the next dinner, but the two of you are aware that you could never earn enough money to pay a meal this expensive.
At the end of the day he drops you off at home once more, but when you hug him goodbye whispering “Thank you so much. I had such a great time today.” Into his ear he goes in for a kiss.
It’s a possessive claiming of your mouth kind of kiss. All clashing teeth and heavy bursts of breath. Wandering hands, pulling on clothes in a needy attempt to get the close proximity you both want so deeply. He pulls the air from your lungs only to breath it back into them a second later. It´s hard to do, but in the end you manage to pull away.
“It´s late. We should continue this another time.” You whisper with your forehead resting against his shoulder. Everything inside of you screams to keep going, but your brain told you to take it slow. To savor it.
“Okay. I can´t wait.” He lays a peck on the shell of your ear. Letting you go reluctantly. “Text me when you get home.”
You chuckle and step out of the car. Pulling out your phone the second you close the door behind you to text him a quick `I´m home. Had such a great time with you. Can´t wait to do this again <3´.
He watches the glow of the screen vanish behind the large window. Replying with a `Same. Sweet dreams<3´, but this time he doesn´t stay around to watch you. Instead he goes home to sink into one of the dreams he had ever since he met you. One where he watches you sleep in the morning, the rising sun and the way you lay sprawled out beside him making you look like an utter goddess. And then you wake up to give him a smile that makes him feel like he has a heart attack. It feels so real that when he wakes up to another text from you, he has to pull himself together to not mess up his carefully hatched out plan. His train of thought gets interrupted by his phone ringing.
“Good morning…” Your raspy morning voice comes out of the speaker. You sound absolutely gorgeous to him. Making his eyes roll back into his head a little.
“Good morning, doll. What´s up?” The smirk on his face is audible in his voice.
“Nothing much. I just wanted to hear your voice.” You murmur, rubbing your eyes. “Oh gods, that sounded so cheesy. I´m sorry.”
“Hey, you´re good. I actually think that´s really cute.” He muses.
“Oh? Well, I guess I don´t have to feel like it is too soon when I tell you I had the weirdest dream tonight.” You chuckle and clear your throat from the sleepiness.
“Really? Do tell.”
“I don´t know. I can only remember that we were together, in my apartment and I guess you were watching me sleep and it felt so real… I probably sound so weird right now.” You scoff at yourself. Wondering why you even told him that.
He on the other hand chuckles at your confession. Cursing himself out in his mind, to will himself to stay strong.
“I had the same dream. I hope you don´t think I´m like a stalker or obsessed or something now.” His tone is lighthearted, but the gods now he needs you to stay unconscious of that side of him. No, he wasn´t any of those things. He was looking out for you. You meant a lot to him and that meant he wanted to protect you. “So, you know. You at least aren´t weirder than I am.”
Sadly you have a shit ton to study, before spring break ends and so you aren’t able to meet again in the coming days. Of course that doesn´t mean that he can´t see you though. The feeling of being watched follows you around like a burning shadow throughout that time. Yet you push it away. Telling yourself that it was probably just exam stress or social anxiety or something. Which Aegon, knowing you as well as he does, is grateful for. Usually he would hate to see you anxious or stressed, wanting to take all that burdens you off you, but when it came to him getting caught… Well, not that he was doing anything wrong, but experience has taught him, that people tended to see things differently from him.
So he stays hidden. Texting and calling you every day and watching you sink your fingers or a toy into your sweet cunt each night. Every time he is overcome by thoughts of how you would make so much sweeter sounds if it was his length that your walls where fluttering around as wave after wave of pleasure rolls over you. Each time he reminds himself anew that things are going steady with you and it would only be a short while until those thoughts became a reality.
On one of those evenings you surprise him with another call. Curses fall from his lips under his breath as he scrambles around the corner, praying that you haven´t heard his phone.
“Hey…” He says after pressing the green button on the screen.
“Hey, is this a bad time? You sound kinda out of breath.” Your voice chirps on the line.
“No, you could never call at a bad time.” Except for now kinda. “What´s up? Didn´t you say you wanted to write all day?”
“Yeah, I did. When my friends come back tomorrow there will be little chance to do so uninterrupted, but um… I couldn´t focus. Like at all.” You murmur.
“Oh, can I do anything to help?” he purrs.
“You could get some Starbucks and come over?” You ask in the most tempting voice you could offer. Not that he needed much persuasion to tend to any of your wishes as soon as you asked.
“Sure. I´m on my way.”
“You´re the best. Thanks.” You chirp and then the only thing that can be heard on this side of the line is the tone of the disconnected call from the device in his hand. Sprinting to his car, he almost drops his keys in anticipation at the prospect of spending time with you. Basically racing to your favorite coffee shop to get coffee, and some pastries he knew would be more than happy about right now. He knew, knowing everything about you would come in handy one day.
At the same time you put your laptop to the side. Trying to find something to pass the time until he would arrive. Which was harder to do than you would have thought and so with nothing to do, you decide to put some effort in your little meeting. Sitting down in front of the small closet to look for a cute dress to put in. Getting ready just in time for a knock on the door.
“Come in, it´s open.” You yell as you go to sit back down on the couch.
“You know, you probably shouldn´t leave your door unlocked in this neighborhood. Whoa…” He stops in the doorway when he sees you.
“Wh-What?” You tilt your head and look at him with confusion in your wide eyes. You look so innocent right now.
“Do you always write like that?” Aegon puts down the snacks and vaguely motions to your outfit of choice. “Cause… If so, I want to always be around for it.”
You can´t hide the snorting laughter that forces it´s way out of your lungs. “That´s really sweet, but no. I usually don´t look like this at all when I write. In fact I usually look so much worse you would want to stay as far away from me as possible.”
“I seriously doubt I anything in this world could ever make me want to stay away from you.” Aegon lays his gentle hands on your shoulders and a feeling of warmth spreads in your guts.
You look up at him through your lashes and before you know it your eyes flutter close. Then, a moment later, your lips meet his in the most gentle kiss ever. And you don´t know when things escalate. If it is when your hands come up to cup his cheeks. If it is when you stand on your tip toes to make it easier to deepen the kiss ever so slightly or when his tongue presses against your lower lip to silently ask for entrance. The result is the same. The two of you forgot about why he came over in the first place and abandon everything to make yourselves more comfortable in the bedroom. Rolling around the mattress as you make out heavily. His hands are everywhere on your body at the same time, just as yours are on his. Each touch feels like the right thing to do. The only thing that feels even more right is the way he sinks himself into your tight, warm walls. Like he had wanted from the moment he first saw you.
He´s so careful not to hurt you and as you lay in his arms afterwards, cuddled close, his finger drawing small patterns on your shoulder, you can´t hold back the smile. This is the fastest you have ever gone this far with a person. Mostly out of fear, that they would only want to use you for it. Yet even after only one official date with him, you know there is no reason to be afraid. It´s almost funny how shortly you have known each other and yet you rely on him for everything. He knows you so well already, has an incredible gift of listening and observing, like no one else you had met before. Ever. Before you notice it, a giggle falls from your lips, just as he kisses your temple.
“What´s so funny, doll?” Fuck, even the nickname you usually hated sounded so good from his lips.
“Nothing, just… I just thought about how shortly we´ve known each other and yet we know so much about each other already. I never had that.” You say in an amused tone.
“I´m gonna go ahead and take that as a good thing.” He huffs a chuckle.
“Oh yes, definitely. I honestly love how open we can be with each other.” Oh if only you knew.
“Me too.” He mumbles into the crown of your head. Placing another peck there.
As it turns out it isn´t only the first time you sleep with him, but also the first time you spend the night together. Your activities had robbed all of your energy and with a little more quiet chatter, the two of you slide of into slumberland.
You are sad to watch him leave the next morning, but the alarm on your phone, that interrupts your romantic little breakfast that Aegon had cooked, painfully reminds you, that you promised to pick up Aly from the airport.
“I´ll call you later, okay?” You promise him as he steps out of your car.
“I can´t wait already.” He replies.
You make your way to meet your friend and of course he follows you once again. Extra careful that you don´t see his car. It wasn´t necessarily low-key after all. Things are easier once he follows you into a café that looks like no ordinary student could pay for the food there already, keeping a close eye on you as you and your friend order brunch, nothing unconventional from what you have told him about her and your other friends. He starts to toy with the idea of leaving to not get caught, when something Aly says makes his ears perk up.
“So, how is it going with your new favorite person?” Her tone is light and she wiggles her eyebrows at you.
“I already told you to stop calling him that.” You laugh at her antics. “And don´t even try calling him my boyfriend. We haven´t even been on two dates yet.”
“Yeah, alright. Not even on two dates, but he has also been inside of you and has spent the night at your place after getting you snacks simply because you asked him to…” she shoots you an unbelieving look. “Like seriously. And you haven´t even told me all the dirty little details yet. Bitch, you owe me. I thought we were friends.”
If his heart beat higher before, when the word boyfriend left your lips, it beats even higher now at the mention of your night together.
“There´s not much to tell.” You try to deflect.
Not much to tell? He asks himself. He thought he had done better than `not much to tell´.
“Oh hells no. You know I won´t let you off that easy.” She persists.
“Alright. Okay. It was great. He was so sweet and made sure to make me come like two times before he thought about himself. You happy now?” You try to keep your voice down as much as possible so the people around you don´t hear. Which is only a half success as Aly´s squeal gets you some of the unwanted attention anyway.
“Was he big?” Her question earns a shocked expression and gasp from you. And a concealed giggle from Aegon.
“I mean I guess. You know I don´t have much to compare it to, but I´d say he was solid.” You shrug. “Now can we please change the topic? How was your time with the family.”
Aly starts on a rant about everything her family did and said and so Aegon decides to go before he truly overtaxes his luck.
As he walks by the window you are sitting close to, you think it is him, weighing the options of saying something or not, deciding against it. You were just imagining things, because Aly was talking without a single pause and you missed him. You sigh, trying to concentrate on whatever your friend was talking about.
When you finally get home it is late afternoon already and you are pretty tired, but you can´t pass up on the call you promised Aegon.
“Hello there.” He picks up.
“General Kenobi.” You answer in the fashion that the Star wars quote commands.
“How did it go with your friend?” He asks feigning genuine interest as if he hadn´t been there for the most interesting part.
“Yeah, it went well. I just got home, basically.” You sigh and rub your eyes, who were burning for some reason.
“Wow.” He huffs amusedly.
“You can say that loudly. I originally planned on asking you if you want to come over, but I totally forgot that I have an early class tomorrow that I need to prepare something for. This week is gonna kick my ass…”
“Ah, damn. So how about we meet up Friday evening? I could pick you up and we could check out this new bar that just opened.” He suggests. Knowing already what this meant for the coming days.
“That would be so cool.” A yawn interrupts what you were saying. “Gods I´m sorry I´m really tired. Would you be mad if we hang up now and I´ll text you again before class?”
“Not at all. You go ahead and do your thing. I´ll hear from you tomorrow.” He reassures you.
“Thank you. Good night, Aeg.” You chirp.
“You have a good night too and don´t overdo it with the studying.”
“I won´t, mom.” Your faux annoyed tone gets broken up by one last chuckle before the two of you hang up. You always laugh so much with him. More than with anyone else and at the same time your deep talks are on such a level you don´t know how to express it to your friends.
You have always felt safe in your own home, shutting out the scary, real world. Unknowing, that someone stared at you through the large windows almost every day and night. But a window is just glass, and glass… oh it breaks so, so easily…
Friday takes forever to roll around, but when it finally does, nothing can wipe the smile from your face. Your mood is basically indestructible. As is his. You sing and dance your way all through out getting ready and when Aegon rings the bell you open the door with a spring in your step.
“Someone´s in a good mood.” Aegon muses.
“Just happy about seeing you.” You admit. Hugging him and kissing his cheek as a greeting. “Lemme just grab my purse and then we can go.”
You lock the door behind you and together he drives you out to a place that can hardly be classified as a bar. Upon entering the place you feel massively underdressed, but he doesn´t seem to care. He is just happy to be there with you and you are happy to be there with him. He asks about your week and how your writing is going while you sip one drink after another until you feel a light buzz. The alcohol making your insides feel as warm as his presence and his hand on your thigh do. Over the duration of the evening you gradually move closer, but by the time he drops you off, he lets you go with just a quick peck to your lips.
“Thank you for the nice evening.” You rub your eyes. Wanting to say something, anything to stay close to him just a bit longer, but your tired and tipsy mind can´t come up with anything.
“With you it´s always a nice evening. Now go on. Get to bed before you fall asleep in the passenger seat.” He squeezes your thigh one last time before he lets you open the door to head inside.
As always he parks his car around the corner to watch you until you fall asleep, but somehow tonight something is different.
Aegon feels a strange sensation tugging at his heart. A longing. To have you right this second. He doesn´t know what comes over him, but without a second thought he takes one of the stones in front of your window and throws it at the glass. It was meant to tap the glass, at least that´s what he tells himself, but instead it breaks it.
Fuck, Aegon curses under his breath, praying to the seven or any other deity that is willing to hear him that you didn´t wake up from the commotion. When your apartment stays silent, he decides that it isn´t safe for you alone with the broken window situation. It takes a few tries, but in the end he manages to climb through it. Keen on not making to much noise while walking over the shards on the ground, he tiptoes over to your bed.
You lay with your back towards the free side and so it is easy for him to slide in under the covers as well. He presses his chest as close to your back as possible, his hand laying innocently but protectively over your waist.
Aegon kisses your temple and silently promises to not close an eye, to watch over you, all night.
But the night is long and having you so close to him, smelling your shampoo and feeling your hips rub against his every time you shift in your sleep, makes it hard to keep his hand there. It also made him hard. The next time you shift in your sleeping state, his hand wanders down to your thighs. Once more and it lands trapped between them. Gently caressing your slit through the thin material of your leggings.
You sigh and stir lightly at his touch, but don´t wake up. Instead you just press yourself closer to him in your unconscious state. The action prompts Aegon to bite his lip to stifle the moan that wants to break free from his lungs. He can´t give himself away like this. He would only scare you and that is the last thing he wants to do. You simply look so good, how could anyone help themselves. You can be lucky he is there to watch over you.
A quiet moan comes from you as he continues his ministrations. The touch barely light enough to tease, but that heavenly sound pushes him further.
His hand slips underneath the waistband, past your lace panties and finds your already wet heat.
“Fuck.” He whispers, pushing two of his thick fingers inside of your entrance. He wants to take things so much further, but if he wants you to stay asleep he has to be careful. He pumps the two digits in and out of you at a slow pace. Feeling you grow even wetter as you squirm, quiet moans the only tell for the pleasurable feeling you are experiencing. He speeds up the movement of his fingers slightly, until he can´t take the lewd noises coming from your core anymore. He just has to taste you or he was sure he would die right then and there.
He shifts his position on the mattress, turning you onto your back, pausing when you stir again, moving to lay between your legs. Your pants are discarded and carelessly thrown to the side, before he dives in for the first taste of your heavenly center. He regrets not taking the time to appreciate your body the way it deserves, but he needs you so much there is no time for that now. His tongue licks a stripe up the length of your cunt, moaning at the sweet taste. And when he hears your own quiet moan and sees how you bring your hips closer to his face he is unstoppable. His tongue delves into you, fucking you with it and recklessly. Reaping every single one of your little noises and movements. He is so far gone that he doesn´t even realize, that with every new stir you start to wake up a little more.
At first your mind is still foggy with sleep and the pleasurable feeling his lips and tongue bring you. Your hand instinctively treads itself into his hair. But when you fully come to You scramble backwards until your back hits the headboard. His mouth chasing after you before he realizes what has happened and looks up at you.
“Aegon?! What are you doing here?” You gasp.
“Shh, it´s okay. Just let me worship you in the way you deserve.” Aegon slides his hand up your calf in a feather light touch.
“How did you get in here?” You ask, becoming more panicked.
“The door. I told you, you need to be more careful. You are lucky I came here to protect you.” His voice is soothing and so deep. And so you relax a little, leaning back as he resumes his previous activities.
But somehow something just feels wrong. Like a feeling in your gut. This is so unlike anything he has shown you of himself. Thinking about it he hadn´t shown you all that much in the first place. And that feeling just won´t let itself be shaken off so you shove his head away once more.
“Can we please just go back to sleep? I don´t really feel entirely in the mood right now.”
“Oh doll, that sounded much different a while ago. I didn´t even touch you all that much, yet you were still soaking those lace panties for me.” He climbs on top of you, rasping the words into your ear. “And the position I found you laying in… You´re such a fucking tease. It´s like you were begging for it.”
A sickening cold fear spreads in your system. A yelp leaving your mouth as he pulls you down by the ankle so your core is pressed to his. You are too in shock to return his kiss when he forcefully presses his mouth to yours. This is not the Aegon you know, but something tells you that this is the real Aegon. Coming back from the shocked state, you try to push him away. Hands pressed to his chest and legs eagerly searching for a way out, but he is too strong.
“I don´t want this, Aegon. Please stop.” You whimper into his shoulder as he mouths at your neck. Nibbling at all the most sensitive spots. Hating yourself for the growing even wetter as he rubs his length against your core. You don´t even know how or when he rid himself of his own pants. All you know is, that he now is pulling on your night shirt. Eager to get it off while simultaneously pinning your wrists down over your head so you would stop pushing him away.
As it turns out it is harder to do than imagined and so another yelp falls from your lips as he rips the fabric off your body. Your chest moving with fast and harsh breaths.
“Shh, everything´s alright. I´m here to take care of you.” He silences you with another unrequited, bruising kiss.
You are helpless against him, squirming and writhing underneath his much larger frame. This whole situation is so absurd and to add to all of it, when you bite his lower lip in a desperate attempt of self defense and getting the upper hand, he simply laughs. Tears start to prick in your eyes as the sound reaches your ears. As much as you want to blink them away they free themselves. Running down your burning cheeks accompanied by a sob.
“Aww, don´t cry doll. I´m going to make you feel so good. Just relax and let it wash over you.” His free hand wanders down to roughly caress one of your breasts. Rolling and tweaking the nipple between his fingers until the bundle of nerves stands hard at attention and your back arches off the bed. Which he takes as the sign to go ahead in what he is doing. Bringing his mouth down to the other breast, sucking and kissing on it until that nipple looks much the same like the other.
With one swift motion Aegon pushes inside of you, his cock stretching you out like no one had before. It is nothing like your first time together. He immediately starts to thrust inside of you at a fast pace.
"Aegon... please... st-op." You cry out to him to no avail.
Rutting into you at an almost breakneck pace. His head bows down and you feel puffs of hot breath hit the skin where your neck and shoulder meet. The feeling is utterly upsetting and you want to throw up at the same time you lost all the strength in your body. It´s all futile.
“I already told you I´m not gonna stop. You know deep down that you enjoy this. So why don´t you make this easier for yourself and stop fighting it.” His teeth sink into your tender skin harshly.
"Aahhh! Fuck, that hurts! Why are you doing this?" You question him.
"Because you deserve to be worshipped. You are a goddess walking amongst men." He nibbles on your ear. Much softer than the bite before, but that doesn't make anything better.
His hips continue to piston into yours. The sound of wet skin slapping against skin filling the otherwise quiet apartment alongside with your bitter cries. The moon outside is the only source of light illuminating his features.
You try to turn your head away from him, but he forces it back by your chin. So instead you close your eyes. You can´t stand to look at him anymore. His face that looked so sweet and innocent to you before is now distorted into a grimace of sick pleasure. Eyes closely watching your every reaction and a sheen of sweat covering his skin, sticking the front locks of his silver blond hair to his forehead.
With a few more thrusts he comes inside of you and for a short moment you have the hope that this is it. Aegon relaxes against you, but as your cries become weaker you notice how he only seems to get harder inside your warmth.
“Can you please let me go now?” You try again with a quiet, shaky voice.
“Oh, you think I am done with you yet? No no no. We are done when you come around my cock and accept me for who I am. What you made me.” His tone is nothing short of condescending and he tuts at you as your crying grows hysterical again.
You guess the gesture is supposed to soothe you, but it has the exact opposite effect.
You cry yourself into a near state of incoherency as he pushes your knees up against your chest forcefully, giving him a whole new angle inside of you. The way the head of his cock bullies your sweet spot is the final straw. It hurts. Despite it feeling so wrong it feels so good. You hate yourself even more as inadvertent pleasure runs through you like electricity. Making your toes curl and your eyes roll back. You scream louder with every thrust of his until you are near voiceless. You try to remind yourself that your body reacting to it doesn´t make it any more right and it doesn´t mean that you secretly enjoy it. But it´s so hard.
“You like it deep, don´t you?” Aegon´s voice in your ear painfully pulls you back into reality.
“Please.” You beg one last time, but the plea, just like all the others, falls onto deaf ears.
Your body gives up any last fight it has left. Quietly sobbing when your walls flutter around him and your hips start to shake. A wave of pleasure, or maybe just disguised shame, washes over you, provoking Aegon´s second orgasm.
“You are mine. You will never leave me. No one can love you like I do.” His voice sounds so soft. So genuine.
You almost want to believe him, but that would require a level of coherency you currently do not possess.
As you lay there with your whole body shaking, trying to come down from this experience and waiting for what he would do next, you ask yourself where things had gone wrong. What did you do to provoke this? To deserve this? Yet no matter how hard you pray to the seven for a sign or anything at all really, you don´t get an answer.
#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon ii targaryen x reader#aegon x reader#aegon ii x reader#aegon targaryen#aegon ii targaryen#aegon ii#dark!aegon targaryen x reader#modern hotd au#modern hotd#modern house of the dragon au#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd fic#house of the dragon fic#hotd x reader
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We're all missing the point with Trevor Connelly.
Every year, there's an NHL draft pick who comes along to remind us that cancel culture doesn't exist in this sport. 2020 we had Mitchell Miller. 2021 we had Logan Mailloux. This year is Trevor Connelly, who was taken 19th overall by the Vegas Golden Knights.
Most of the criticism surrounding the pick has gone to an incident in which Connelly posted a picture of a Swastika his friend made out of library building blocks.
Let me be clear. He shouldn't have done that. He should have apologized for it and faced the consequences he did.
But the easiest behavior to dismiss is the behavior getting the most press coverage, and that covers up far worse allegations against Connelly.
It's so easy, if you want to defend Connelly, to say that he was a dumb teenage boy fucking around, that he paid the price for it, and that we can't let a one-off incident destroy his future. Boys will be boys.
So what are the other allegations against him?
In 2021, he was accused of using a racial slur towards an opponent. He denied the allegations and the suspension was lifted, which means the Worst People You Know will assert he did nothing wrong and we're trying to cancel him over nothing. We've now seen the two apologetic tactics used most with public figures:
It was a one-time event for which he apologized, and we can't hold it over his head forever;
That never happened, you have no evidence. (We see this with the SA allegations against Patrick Kane, which neglect the fact he was convicted of beating up a cab driver over 20 cents; and Trevor Bauer, who was never "found innocent" and has multiple other IPV allegations against him)
What gets lost in this? How about the fact that he systematically bullied his teammates across his minor hockey career?
Four parents said they saw Connelly punch a teammate during practice; three of those parents said they saw it happen multiple times … Five parents said that he would slash teammates with his stick out of frustration. Four of those five parents said they also saw him slew-foot players -- trip an opponent from behind with a leg or foot … the incidents were frequent enough that eight parents said that at some point they felt concern for the well-being of their son or that of other players.
Parents said Connelly also picked on some teammates in the locker room and away from the rink. He seemed to focus on players who were small in stature and/or were among the less talented members of the team, according to eight parents. He would make fun of their appearance, tell them they were not good players and that they didn’t belong on the team, among other insults. “He wasn’t just a troublemaker; it wasn’t just that. He was mean,” said one parent.
One mother said her son avoided team activities, like bus rides or team meals, to avoid being around Connelly more than was necessary. Another mother said her son asked to not stay at the team hotel because he didn’t want to be around Connelly. Yet another parent said she went so far as to ask her son to assist a player Connelly repeatedly picked on. “It’s frustrating when you have to tell your kid to protect his teammate from another teammate,” she said. Two players left the Anaheim Jr. Ducks program prior to or during or the 2017-18 season in part because of how they were treated by Connelly, according to three parents associated with that program.
The Swastika incident and the racial slur alone should have been enough to end his pro hockey dreams. But when we get caught up in these events, we allow him cover for something much worse. He's apologized for the Swastika, talked about how he's lived and learned. He's denied the racial slur. His response to the constant harrassment of his teamates? That he let his competitiveness get the best of him, that other parents were too mean to him, and that's why he's committed to being a leader.
I've talked before about how, when we're dealing with different types of individuals, we need to tailor our responses. You connect to evangelical conservatives on a human level. You defang a bigot's hypotheticals. When it comes to someone like Connelly (or Kane, or Bauer), who has an array of improper behavior to critique, you have to go for the jugular. The hardest behavior to defend.
Don't waste your breath with the "boys will be boys" or "they didn't find enough evidence to corroborate". Don't let him hide some closet skeletons behind others. Make him answer for all his behavior.
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Whumptober 2024 Masterlist
Whumping season is upon us! 🖤🧡🖤🧡 Prompts are currently closed, I'll see you all in October!
No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.”
broken mirrors
No. 2: TRUST ISSUES Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.”
wind blows
No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."
side of the angels
No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.”
broken mirrors
No. 5: SUNBURN Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far."
alpha's price
No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."
slipping
No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."
silver bird
No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on."
close haul
No. 9: OBSESSION Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.”
crumpled paper
No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."
siren call me
No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.”
gemini
No. 12: STARVATION Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."
caught
No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part."
silver bird
No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD Hunting Gear | Blackmail | “Because I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted”
unmarked
No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"
teeter
No. 16: NECROSIS Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."
unmarked
No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."
safe passage
No. 18: REVENGE Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.”
deliverance
No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?"
bystander
No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."
an heir for an heir
No. 21: BODY HORROR Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.”
wouldn't wish it
No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."
crumpled paper
No. 23: FORCED CHOICE Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."
plunder
No. 25: SURGERY Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."
plus sign
No. 26: NIGHTMARES Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.”
virtue is truest nobility
No. 27: VOICELESS Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”
deliverance
No. 28: DENIAL CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."
scape
No. 29: FATIGUE Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"
through a glass darkly
No. 30: RECOVERY Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"
virtue is truest nobility
No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well."
wedlock
Alt 2. Communication Barrier
ribbons
Alt 9. Secrets Revealed
in the middle
Alt 10. Shivering
in the middle
Alt 11. Survivor's Guilt
the best revenge
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If it is not too much....can we have more decade swap please mommy alk? 🥺🥺🥺
Miss Memos so much 🙏🙏🙏
I HAVENT BEEN CALLED MOMMY YET BUT I HOPE THIS HELPS DURING THE WAIT
Shanks is somewhere in his twenties
Every now and then between the Blues and across the seemingly endless expanse of the Grand Line, an island appears.
It was never a designated island in particular. Whatever island could manage to make such a name of itself and manage to keep its reputation would eventually spread word, and sure enough, people would flock to its shores. Some islands that attempted to boast this specific purpose found themselves either failing to uphold true neutrality or ended scorched and sunk from a series of skirmishes with the marines.
A neutral island, people would call it. A meeting point. Pirates of all walks and Blues and statuses would gather here, and people who wished to do business with such pirates would navigate their waters.
A neutral island, on paper. A pirate playground, by word of mouth.
It was this very island get-away in particular that young, not quite young to most, but perhaps still young in the old eyes of the world—"Red Haired" Shanks found himself docked alongside his now notorious crew.
The bar thrummed with life. People and pirates flooded the inside like an overflowing mug of grog, beginning to spill out over the top. Music filled the air, leaving not a space for silence or stillness. Snarled curses flew across tables, slurred stories between bowed heads, and sweet words coaxed from wet lips against willing ears.
Shanks let all of it envelop him. He let it wrap thickly like a sheet. A wide, playful grin stayed perpetually stretched over his lips and he laughed with banter, jeered when jostled, and whispered huskily when spoken sweetly to.
His now infamous captain was always a man who enjoyed having fun above all else, so he'd seen it perfectly fit to dock their ship amidst the hub of pirates seeking their fill of freedom, fun or pure debauchery.
(Shanks was somewhere between the first two, but those who wanted to share his bed might speak differently.)
He sat now as proof up against the bar top. Two beautiful women hugged the seats on either side, a half-full bottle of wine—something more bitter in taste, harder and expensive—sat waiting to be grabbed by one of the beautiful hands to be poured into his mug. He'd meant to stay with the grog, since grog he could drink like water before he barely felt a buzz in his fingertips.
Wine came with the intention of something more, and he was still trying to decide whether or not to indulge in that sort of offer presented to him.
Shanks was older now. A roguishly handsome man with the kind of bounty on his head to turn multiple heads. Enough to make an ambitious marine drool and a seasoned vice admiral scowl. Amongst other crews, he was a powerful man, one of many on his ship, but one of the strongest, and that drew eyes.
Hateful eyes, envious eyes, admirable eyes—
Lustful eyes.
Women who'd spent the night, the evening, or morning with him would often describe him as such:
"His shoulders are big," they'd say. "Broad. You could rake your nails down them and feel endless."
"He's handsome," they'd swoon. "Dashing, a true criminal that one. That sculpted, clean jaw, those playful eyes..."
"His biceps are like corded ropes," they'd grin. "He could lift you with one, keep the other free to—"
"He's sinfully strong," they'd sigh. "Hold you like you were nothing, keep you seated right on his—"
"His words are sweet," some would murmur, looking a bit lost. "But he isn't truthful. He doesn't lie, that one. But his lips and his kisses... Hmm, I guess I'm a bit jealous, that's all."
There'd been a period once where Shanks had never been too particularly indulgent, to be truthful. It'd happened without him realizing it. Shanks could flirt and flirt and talk sweet, and then the moment lips would whisper in his ear and eyes would shift to a closed door—he'd laugh, something sweeter, and then he'd be off.
It was Buggy who'd called him out on it. Sore, when another beautiful woman had been left wanting and Shanks was looking like a dazed idiot, staring out across the sea.
"It's because you're still obsessed," Buggy had accused. Shanks had look at him, affronted. "You're all talk, Red Hair. Since you last saw them at the end of that crazy fight, you've become the worst you've ever been!"
"What fight?"
"The one that nearly tore the ocean apart! That was the last you saw of them in the past year and it's haunted you since!"
"Who?" Shanks said dumbly, still staring out across the ocean.
"You know who, you buffoon!" Buggy shouted. "I knew—I knew nothing good would ever come of this since you first made googly eyes at one of the most dangerous women you could ever even look at—"
"Dangerous," Shanks played with the word on his tongue. "She is, isn't she?"
Shanks knew exactly what memory Buggy was speaking of. It was seared, branded into the back of his mind.
(That beautiful woman. Her eyes. Her blood. Her blade.)
Many images of that day, in fact, remained with him still. Some more beautiful than others, and one lingering sharply, bitter—
(A moss haired swordsman cutting through the carnage, like cleaving waves, to stand at her side. His arm curling over her hip, pulling her to him when the dust settled, his lips hidden in her hair as he said something to her ear. Her eyes, finally relaxing, drooping with fatigue. A trust to be able to show such vulnerability. How he practically carried her, leaning her body against his—)
"See!" Buggy shrilled. "Listen, Shanks. You can dream all you want, I have plenty of fun fantasies myself. But you know why I'm never afraid for me?"
"Why?" Shanks sighed. Buggy jutted a finger against his chest and Shanks leaned back a bit in surprise, caught off guard by the truth in Buggy's next words.
"That's because you're a man who wants. And a man who wants never just settles for dreams."
"Buggy, have you eaten something bad?"
"You're the one who's eaten something rotten, idiot!" Buggy screeched, nearly throttling his crewmate. "Forget it, you're hopeless!"
To be fair, Shanks had tried what Buggy suggested. Buggy was convinced he just needed to get it out of his system. He'd even somewhat convinced himself the same. Maybe the wanting was just... carnal. Maybe he was creating a vision of something for himself, a dream to obtain, and it wasn't fair to do to her. No, never to a woman like that.
So Shanks had played the game, and he'd played it well. He had his fun. He went to bed with pleasure. His true heart belonged to the sea anywho, to his crew, to what laid in store for them at the end of it all.
(There was just nothing he could do, you know, about certain nights. About wisps of images in the corner of his eye. Of long, elusive strands of silver white and eyes like gold beneath the waves.)
The woman on his right was a local, one of the barmaids who was trying her luck. One beautifully manicured hand kept a possessive grip over the sculpted slope of his forearm, her thumb rubbing circles into the side of his arm the other woman couldn't see. The woman on his left ought to be some pirate for a crew he wasn't familiar with, but she drew his attention from time to time with stories of her exploits on the sea.
Stories.
"What kind of story will you tell, brat?"
Laughter filled the air. Someone shouted something behind him and the music resumed, flooding the space. Shanks laughed at something the woman on his right said. He spared a glance over the top of his mug to the back of the bar. Two wide double doors opened up to a sort of back patio, where the cool salty breeze filtered in. He could see pillars outside holding the establishment up, wound tightly with thickened vines heavy with some kind of flower.
"I'm sorry ladies," Shanks said smoothly, standing up from the bar. The women looked up, startled, but Shanks offered them a charming smile, easy and placating. "I just need to step outside for a moment... you won't miss me too much, will you?"
"Maybe a bit."
"Not at all."
They looked at each other with a scowl and Shanks grinned, smoothly slipping his way through the thundering crowd and finally slipping outside.
The breeze kissed his cheeks. Shanks let out a soft, easy groan as he stretched his arms over his head and let his feet carry him out of the shadow of the bar. Perhaps he'd stroll through town, get something to eat. Maybe find Buggy and bother him.
There was a whisper in the air, like a sigh.
Shanks felt something curl, like a finger ghosting up his spine. He stopped dead in his tracks.
"Brat," she murmured, almost amused. "Going for a little walk?"
Shanks turned sharply on his heel, so sharp he almost stumbled. The breeze billowed the open chested white shirt around his arms. It tousled his hair, pulling it free from his gaze so he could see with utter clarity.
The divine sight laid out before him.
Long stems of blooming white flowers wound up the pillars outside the bar, holding up the balcony alcove hidden amidst the second floor she must've stowed away for herself. They interlocked in heavy blooms, a shade too white to match her hair. She leaned up against the railing of the balcony, lounged on her side like a goddess, one finger lightly brushing against a flower as she gazed quietly down at him.
What few patrons might have known of her presence must have thought it wiser not to comment on the fact that she'd been there, leaving the infamous woman to her devices.
Shanks felt his pulse begin to thrum at his fingertips. His feet carried him before he'd thought anything else. A slow, curling grin pulled wide over his mouth. He felt that familiar trill, a lulling pulse of energy in the air, a thought that perhaps—
(This world was amazing.)
His eyes shone brightly, pools of sunlight.
She narrowed her eyes in almost suspicious amusement at the sight.
"Dove," Shanks said, because he'd never promised to be one for subtly. "It's been an eternity."
"Eternity?" she tilted her head to the side, a swooping wave of silver white following over the bare curve of her shoulder. Shanks felt his pulse quicken. "It can't have been that long."
"I didn't even hear a whisper of you being here," Shanks said, stepping closer to the pillar so he could look directly up at her and she gazed down at him. "if I'd known, I would've never left your company."
"We arrived only just tonight," she said loosely. Shanks saw now she was nursing a pretty colored bottle and he licked his lips. "Had a bit of free time on my hands."
Shanks' hand laid itself along the pillar. He tugged on the vines, testing their strength. "A beautiful woman like you," he began, as though he were witnessing the worst crime committed in this world, "all by her lonesome?"
She huffed a sort of laugh. "Mmm, I'm never alone, boy."
He was far from being a boy, but Shanks continued to grin, slow and easy, eyes bright with mirth. "Is there room on that balcony for two?"
Hoku the Immortal shut her eyes for a moment in contemplation. She tilted her head, as though listening for something.
"I suppose it depends," she said finally. Those piercing eyes watched him languidly. "I don't want to invite something more than I can handle."
Her expression became one of startled amusement as Shanks' hands quickly dug into the vines, his body scaling up the pillar with frightening haste.
She laughed, the sound lighting like fireworks in his ears as he snapped with one hand long stems along the way, crushing them between his fingers until Shanks quickly hauled himself over the top of the balcony railing. He looked up, almost frazzled, once smoothened hair now askew as he caught his breath and grinned widely at her, eyes shining.
His breath staggered in his throat. From below had been but a taste—now he could see her clearly, vividly.
In a rare sight she'd discarded the large cloak she'd always kept with her. Perhaps because of the warmer temperatures of this summer island. Shanks could see the bare slope of her shoulders, the teasing dip of her collarbone hidden by her thin white top. The warm tan of her skin under the dappled moonlight, her curves, the long stretch of her legs over the bench—
She didn't wear her usual sturdy pants tonight. Loose billowy black shorts down to her knees took their place—perhaps a pleading change from one of her more fashion savy crewmates, maybe they were going for more of a vacation look, Shanks thought in the back of is head.
Hoku had one leg crossed over the other knee, foot swaying in the air. The knicked and scarred skin of her thighs appeared before him. He'd never known before she had a tattoo there on her left one—a design hidden still to his eyes, he couldn't quite make it out.
He thanked vehemently whoever's idea it was.
Shanks swallowed with a breathless grin.
Hoku raised a brow and Shanks leaned over the top of the railing, holding out the slightly bent flowers to her as an offering.
"Dove," Shanks said sweetly, "It's a dream to see you again."
Hoku snorted, shaking her head with a somewhat exasperated chuckle. Still the older woman gently took the flowers from his grip, her fingers brushing fleetingly against his and Shanks almost curved his own to try to hook them against his hand.
Hoku pulled away with ease, lightly stroking the bent petals and gently beginning to weave the stems together absently. "I hear you've been making quite the name for yourself these days."
"You listen for word of me?" Shanks said.
"Only if it manages to reach my ears," Hoku said lazily. Shanks pouted. She wove another two flowers together.
Shanks dared to take a seat on the space beside her legs. She shifted them only slightly, not quite accomodating him, but she didn't usher him away either. He didn't know if he ought to feel wounded, the way she seemed to consider him a lighthearted presence than a threat, as though he were just another cat who'd decided to take a seat here.
But if such thoughts allowed him to be here, this near—
Shanks would take what he could get.
"What brings the King of Pirates and his crew to this fine little island?" Shanks asked easily, one finger tracing the wooden pattern etched into the bench.
"A meeting with some old friends," Hoku said absently, fingers still moving along the flower stems, but her eyes flickered back over to the view from their balcony. "I assume you've come to play?"
"To pray, actually," Shanks said. Hoku raised a brow, looking at him. Shanks grinned. "To whatever god I must for a chance to see you again."
Hoku set the woven flowers down in her lap. She shifted slightly, looking at Shanks with a narrowed hint of amusement.
"You're always talking sweet," Hoku sighed. "I suppose this is a trait men like you must bear the burden of carrying."
"Men like me?" Shanks said, sounding wounded. "Dear dove, you think I'm not earnest in my pursuit?"
"Pursuit?" Hoku echoed, raising a curious brow. "Of what?"
"Of one of the most beautiful women I've ever laid eyes on," Shanks said, eyes half lidded now, almost dreamy as he looked. "Of one of the greatest treasures the ocean's ever offered."
Hoku laughed. Shanks could grow drunk off the sound alone. "Brat... I still think you're biting off more than you can chew. One of these days you'll talk sweet to a woman like this and find out she might give you more than you can handle."
"I don't talk to other women like this," Shanks said lightly, softer. Hoku's gaze turned at his drop in tone and she watched him curiously, almost warily as he simply watched her in turn, never taking his gaze off of her. "I stumble in the shallows only for you, dove."
(Shanks treated any respectful woman in his company with grace.)
But he'd started to think as of late, perhaps without realizing it, that there was only one woman he'd like to worship.
"You've dug yourself a grave, Shanks," he thought he could hear Buggy curse in his ear. "A watery grave."
Hoku hummed, shaking her head at him. She leaned back, making herself comfortable amidst a few cushions as her fingers resumed their work.
Shanks could feel the heat from the skin of her ankle at his fingertips. They itched now to trace lightly up her leg, smooth his hand along her skin.
"Dove," Shanks said. "Will you tell me a story?"
Hoku raised a curious brow now. Shanks felt his grin widen over his lips, just shy of cheeky. Time had passed, after all, and Shanks would be a fool to not have learned.
(How do you entertain someone who's seen all this world has to offer?)
You don't.
"You want to hear one of my stories?" Hoku humored him. "Or one of my crew's?"
"Whichever makes you the happiest to tell."
Hoku's fingers paused briefly. She weighed Shanks' words and glanced again out toward the island's dark horizon. He sensed it since he scrambled up this balcony that something strange seemed to be weighing on this beautiful woman's mind, but he wasn't quite sure what.
Hoku reached out and grabbed the bottle sitting beside her. She offered it to Shanks who took it quickly and smoothly with grateful hands, a boyish sort of excitement curling in his gut now.
"I was never one for charity," Hoku said slowly. Her fingers tied off the stems together. "Tell me a good tale and I will share one of mine in return."
Shanks straightened to attention, bringing the top of the bottle to his lips. "One of mine?"
"Doesn't have to be one of yours," Hoku said, reclining back against the cushions. Shanks thought in his mind's eye she appeared like the very image of a goddess ready for worship, waiting to be amused. "Any good story."
Shanks took a long sip of her drink. He let out a small groan at the taste, unexpectedly sweet and smooth, almost crisp. Hoku huffed a laugh of amusement.
"It's delicious," Shanks said earnestly.
Pride flickered shamelessly across her face. She looked pleased at his words, leaning back and gazing again over the balcony. "A special blend from my hometown. One of my favorites, if I'm in the mood."
The sweet burn of it left a trail down his throat, all the way to the curling edge of his stomach. His fingertips.
"I have a love story then," Shanks said, low and husky. "The Sailor and the Gold Mermaid."
Hoku raised a brow, leaning her cheek against her palm. She closed her eyes, waiting. Shanks took a moment to admire her visage, the smooth shape of her eyes, shut to the world. The silver gray of her lashes. The slope of that deep red tattoo curved like a heart above her eye.
"Once there was a sailor who fell in love with a mermaid," Shanks began, bringing forth his best voice—the kind his captain loved when they were weaving tales by the fire. The kind that brought his crew to his side, listening with grins. "She was a beautiful mermaid, with the most beautiful voice he had ever heard with scales made of gold. Hair that shimmered beneath the waves."
Shanks took another swig of Hoku's drink, savoring the sweet taste. He leaned lightly against her leg, keeping his hands locked politely around the bottle should they betray him.
"Every day the sailor thought of how he could woe the mermaid. Each sunset she would come, sitting by the rocks to watch him and he would attempt something new. Flowers. Gifts. Songs. Each day she would see what he brought and disappear back into the water," Shanks pouted. "The sailor was heartbroken."
Hoku's lips curved into a faint grin at his exaggerated tone. Shanks leaned forward, as though sharing a secret. "Until one day the sailor had an idea. All of his friends had warned him against it, saying it wouldn't end well—but still he persisted."
The breeze tousled their hair. Shanks watched it carry hers lightly, teasingly.
"The sailor got on his knees with a bucket of water and he began to mold the sand. The mermaid was curious, wondering what he was up to this time, so she stayed upon her rock, watching him work," Shanks mimicked the motion with his hands even though Hoku kept her eyes closed, listening in silence. "It became clear to her with a gasp that he was forming a mold of her! Out of the sand he worked tirelessly, and curious, she watched, waiting to see his finished product."
Shanks noticed Hoku's foot stop swinging atop her knee. She adjusted her legs instead, pressing her knees toward the balcony railing. Like this, however, her leg pressed into his side. Shanks could feel it with every breath.
"Finally the sailor stood, turning to where he heard the mermaid gasp and he said, 'My love, this I offer to you, a testament to your beauty!'"
Shanks threw his arms out wide. His elbow settled over the top of Hoku's knee. She waited, listening intently to his story.
"The mermaid let out a louder gasp," Shanks began, raising his voice several pitches to mimic the mermaid's—"How can that be me? I look hideous!"
Hoku's eyes blinked open, flickering over to him in curiosity. Shanks' grin became breathless. He changed his tone, resuming the role of the sailor:
"This is the best that I could do to be true to your beauty!" the sailor said sadly. "Is this not in your likeness?"
"Look at it!" the mermaid cried. She dragged herself closer to him, pointing in a fury. "These lumps, that shape, this doesn't look anything like me!"
"Forgive me, my love," the sailor almost wept. "For I am blind!"
Hoku coughed in surprise, turning to Shanks with something like a laugh on her lips. Shanks laughed, heartily and full of mirth. He clasped Hoku's knee, shoulders shaking with laughter.
"The mermaid was stunned," Shanks swept on. "She asked the sailor how he possibly could have fallen in love with her when he had no idea how she looked. The sailor looked sheepish now and told her it had been her voice which won his heart."
Hoku hummed in amusement, seemingly pleased with the turn of events. She shut her eyes again, as though she were imagining the story in her head. Shanks set Hoku's drink down, carefully leaning forward.
"The mermaid brought herself closer to the man, reaching for his hand." Hoku paused as Shanks lightly wrapped his fingers around her wrist, loose, polite, and she did not draw away as he brought her hand then to his chest. "She brought his hand to her and said, 'Feel then, the shape of me.'"
Hoku kept her eyes closed, face relaxed, almost lazy. Shanks brought her palm against his bare chest, letting it rest there. He moved the other hand which had been resting on her knee, moving his fingers along the length of her leg, down to her ankles, lightly tracing his fingertips over her toes.
"Feel my scales," she said.
Shanks lifted Hoku's leg with both his hands now, light, caressing. Her brows furrowed slightly. Her skin twitched underneath his touch.
"Trace the shape of my body," she murmured.
Shanks' lips brushed almost slightly against the inside of her calf, his breath ghosting warm against her. Hoku's eyes opened now, sharp with wariness as she made to draw away.
Beneath her fingertips she could feel then—the fluttering of his heart like a bird. The nervous, loud staccato beneath her fingers. Hoku looked at her hand and then to Shanks, freezing briefly.
(Under the heat of that gaze.)
"'Now,'" Shanks whispered against the inside of her leg, "'try again.'"
Shanks' lips made to kiss the inside of her knee, eyes half-lidded, almost drunk of the presence of her, of the thrill of this moment, of the whirling, pulsing nerves and the rushing waves in his head—
Hoku's hand was replaced with her foot, her leg jerked swiftly free of Shanks' longing grip. He paused, halted now with her foot pressed solidly against his chest. Hoku kept him at bay, watching him with a cool gaze, leaving him unable to dive into their depths.
Shanks pursued no further, instead offering her his most charming grin.
"Brats like you," Hoku said slowly, "are dangerous."
Shanks' gaze lowered playfully at her.
"But brats like me," Shanks said sweetly, "are nothing Hoku the Immortal should fear, no?"
Hoku's eyes narrowed at him, lacking malice but in warning. The way a stray cat would look if you ventured too close for its comfort. Shanks still heard his pulse thundering in his ears.
"That story reminded me of one I'm very fond of," Hoku began airily, "so I won't throw you off this balcony, whelp."
Shanks continued to smile at her, his most charming yet, and Hoku simply regarded him for a moment.
Hoku looked a little fond then, somewhat exasperated as she looked at him.
"You aren't a bad story teller at all, Apple Haired Shanks."
Before Shanks could utter another word in response, Hoku disappeared with a simple flicker before him. Shanks blinked, once, twice, stunned into silence as a large boulder promptly took her place, slamming down into the bench and nearly crushing his outstretched hand.
Shanks jumped to his feet, whirling around and rushing up to the balcony railing.
Hoku appeared in the distance at the beginning of the town's pathway. She hovered in the air for a moment and Shanks noticed now the entire film of translucent blue that seemed to surround all of them. A firm hand reached out, taking hers and that film of blue disappeared as her feet touched the ground, lowered by that hand.
Shanks' jaw went slack in disbelief, slumping somewhat against the balcony as Hoku's figure in the distance simply raised a hand to him, waving once before she disappeared in the hulking shadow of her companion.
"Damn," Shanks murmured, leaning his cheek against his palm. "What a woman."
His gaze strayed to the side and he paused, reaching out with his hand. Shanks brought the flower crown up to his gaze, inspecting the careful way it'd been woven before he set it on the top of his head, sighing once more.
"Next time, Shanks, you'll get 'em next time."
. . . . . . . . .
"You could've just called me," Hoku said, looking a bit amused as she looked up at her companion.
"Seemed like I was interrupting something," Law said slowly, eyes half lidded as he regarded her coolly. "That's a dangerous brat to be entertaining."
"He's a hard urchin to shake off," Hoku sighed in exasperation, but she grinned a bit then. "Not a bad story teller though, I'll give him that."
Law scoffed, pulling his hand from hers. He stood tall beside her, shoulders broad and expression dark as always as his black feathered cloak fell about the both of them.
"Besides, you know me," Hoku grinned, nudging Law's side. Her eyes brightened when she noticed her sandals loose between his fingers against his side. She reached for them. “I prefer my paramours to be older. People aged a bit beyond their years, fine like—"
Law's hand hooked around the side of her waist, pulling her flush to him as he stooped low enough to say into her ear, low like a warning—
"You're forgetting who's the older one between the two of us."
Law waited for a moment, eyes watching Hoku, lowered and dark. His longer fingers curled fully over her hip.
Hoku promptly turned to Law with a sigh, looking up at him in clearly fond exasperation.
"Oh, Traffy, how will I ever explain it to you..."
"Your captain's finally ready to listen to the plan," Law said flatly. He dropped her sandals for her and Hoku grinned, sliding up close to his side to slip them on despite his scowl. "There won't be time to entertain rookies after this."
Hoku hooked her arm through his with a hum. Law continued to scowl but he didn't push her away.
"Time for the tide to change, huh?" Hoku murmured, leaning her head against Law's side.
Law's cloak enshrouded the both of them as they disappeared along a pathway, heading to the shore where the people she would sail to the end of her days awaited her.
#memos#memos au#memos age!swap au#shanks#hoku#trafalgar law#i think ive been having too much fun writing shanks lately#its helping me get back into the swing of memos tho#ty all for these asks and tidbits#and thank you for reading!
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this is directed towards the owners of the account, and sure, any "fans" too. you cannot pretend to not realize that ALL you're doing is bringing toxicity into the fandom.
it's been less than a week and your posts are already mimicking 2018/2020 fandom misogyny.
you're giving hate a platform. that's all you're doing. it's not fun, it's not interesting.
that in addition to how clueless you are about slurs and general etiquette and respect on the site, maybe should be a hint that you shouldn't be running this.
You can go ahead believe that I am clueless about slurs, but personally, as someone who's very identity gets called a slur all the fucking time, I get pretty annoyed when someone makes the call that something is a slur when it doesn't apply to them. Whenever something annoys me, I tend not to do it to others, but that's just me.
I may be a minority on a couple different fronts, but unless I was suddenly an expert in Native Canadian or Alaskan culture and general opinions of the term, I'm not making that call, and in my opinion, neither should anyone else who isn't either well informed or affected personally by that specific term. I know how etiquette on this site works. I've also been on this site, for long enough, to have formed my own opinions on how well this site practices etiquette. (That means I've watched enough people get run off this site to know this site kinda doesn't practice etiquette). I have explained, in my pinned post, exactly why I choose to ignore the rules people have decided are the standard, because they do not work for spoiler tagging, and we are discussing a media partially locked behind a pay wall. There are dropout fans, who can't watch every season of dimension 20, because they watch through YouTube and/or Spotify. I am going to continue using the primary tags as well as the anti tags for tagging purposes, because I do not want to be the reason someone learns about a character death, every time someone wants to talk about how they kinda didn't like a character who may or may not be a backup character wink wink to those of you who know which season i am referring to I fully gave everyone a new tag (#negative dropout confession), that I retroactively went back and applied to all the posts I believed it fit, so that you could block posts that were negative. Now I'm not perfect, and am actually pretty shitty at social queues and kinda forgetful, so if you find a post you think is negative in a way that isn't "i kinda would have preferred this, but i loved the season" let me know, i will retag it as such. I'm only human and just like everyone else, not above being checked on my shit. If that's still not enough, it's a 3 click process to block this blog entirely. We here at dropoutconfessions will be sad to see you go, but I'll still understand. A place of anonymity, to freely share how you feel, is going to attract people who have feelings that usual get them hatred. And yes, some people misuse it. Typically, I do one of 2 things when that happens.
If it's a misunderstanding of the media, I'll add corrections to to the response to clarify, anything I miss, 3-5 people will probably take care of within an hour of the post going up, just check the replies
If it's something truly awful to say, I'll block the asker and delete the ask. Something I've had to do about half a dozen times already.
I have, multiple posts, debating those very posts you are referring to I have, multiple people, defending those characters, in the replies and reblogs of those posts you're referring to I have, multiple posts, in queue (as of me writing this reply) because i don't like flooding people's blogs, that are saying the exact same thing, without calling me toxic and clueless I understand you don't like the hatred, I don't like it either. But I do believe everyone deserves a platform if they'll be civil about it, and they give their opponents an opportunity to call their take absolute dogwater, once again, check the replies, some of these asks get flamed almost immediately. And no. I don't think all I do is bring toxicity to the fandom. People use this as an outlet for how they feel about just, the story. There's like, multiple posts about how people are a bit overbearing expecting perfection from the cast and how certain seasons deserve more love and how amazing some of the other shows are and how amazing some of the cast members are. It's easy to see the negativity, but it's not all there is. And trust me I'm not immune to that either, it's exhausting sometimes. I have gotten more asks about how "obsessed everyone is with Brennan Lee Mulligan" than I ever have about Brennan in a context outside of d20, the show that he runs. Tunnel vision is a bitch sometimes. And at the end of the day, if you think I'm doing a bad job at this, you can make your own confessions blog. This blog exists cause I got bored of my statistics homework, and realized there wasn't a confessions blog. You can too, and if everyone prefers yours, they can use yours, I truly do not mind. This blog is just something I feel like needs to exist, and since no one else was actively doing it (as far as I could tell, no one has told me the contrary). It's really just something to do with my hands so I can focus on dnd games and my video calls with my gf. That's it. If you have any specific suggestions on how I can improve, I'm open to listening to them, as I have proved in the past, but beyond sharing how I feel and addressing how you feel, I don't really know what to say or do. Thank you for telling me how you feel about this blog, this fandom, and Dropout, a media company we love. That's all I could ever want from an ask on this blog.
#ask#important notices#negative dropout confession#dropout#dropout tv#tw slur#tw exonym#cw slurs#cw exonym#dimension 20#d20#dimension twenty
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