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Death looms over Vanny's shoulder in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#nightmare marionette#security breach#fnaf help wanted#horror art#nightmarionne#I like the idea nightmarionne is like a symbol of death#seeing their appearances in the games are pretty scattered#and their images shows up around tragedy#they are more of a watcher of it a witness#so I wanted to show this idea off with Vanessa#Vanessa being awoken from her daze#trying to understand what’s going on#only for it to slowly process the damage she has caused#frozen in fear over her own mind#a silent watcher looms over her shoulder#I love drawing Vanessa’s story out#I don’t think there’s been enough are depicting the things she’s probably gone thru
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Reasons to play In Stars and Time: Canon Pronoun Warfare.
#in stars and time#ISAT#Siffrin#Loop#Context: early on you meet a character who tries to get you to use the royal We pronoun for them and you shut them down. It's great.#The gender swag and non-binary rep in this game is lovely.#I sketched this out when I was in Act 2 - and as of posting this I have not yet finished the game so *please* no spoilers.#It is rare for me to get into something spoiler free and I have been getting my shit rocked by this game in the best way.#Yes I *am* taking another detour to talk about a video game I love again. I will have some fun crossovers. Trust the process.#I will also do my best to pitch this game as spoiler free as possible. Because you *should* play this game:#ISAT is a very lovingly crafted RPG with very fun and emotional writing.#The characters are great and the mysteries you slowly uncover are intriguing!#The way the gameplay ties into the player's own emotional state is nearly always in sync with the protagonist. You *will* feel things.#And it is not afraid to let those things be hard emotions! Do mind the content warnings and know your limits though.#As someone who sucks at video games I also appreciate that it is so generous with your time and keeps things fun.#Not to mention it is honestly underpriced for the amount of content in it. Buy this game. I need to spread the brainworms.
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danny and officer martinez's relationship in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" in a nutshell:
Martinez: FREAK! GET YOUR FUCKING KID!
Battinson, on the other side of the crime scene: he don't bite
Martinez, with Nightingale firmly attached his arm, visibly biting him: YES HE DO!
*points at them* Danny is the Bugs Bunny to Martinez's Elmer Fudd.
Another Officer: i can't believe you're fighting with an actual twelve year old. Martinez: i swear to god that is not a twelve year old, that is a little hellion that crawled out of batman's shadow one dark and stormy night and decided to dedicate his existence to tormenting me. Officer: Are you really that mad about him putting a sticky note on your back-- Martinez: thats not the point
in danny's defense: the word "freak" is. a mini beserker button for him for.... obvious ghostly reasons, so like, even if its not directed at him, he still very much unappreciates Martinez's insults at Battinson. Danny may or may not be projecting.
he's not going to hurt the guy! not in any serious or permanently disfiguring way at least! But he is going to leave mean sticky notes on the square part of his spine that he can't reach, and stick salt in his 3AM Late Night Crime Scene Coffee, and kick the bottom of his heel while he's walking so he stumbles. And other petty, infuriating things that tally up and boil over, over time.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#blood blossom au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc au#the only thing martinez is right about is the fact that danny is. in fact. NOT twelve.#he's just shrimpy because he's half-dead#there's eventually a 'martinez vs nightingale' board in the precinct called the beef board. it tallies every time one of them gets got by#the other. danny is currently in the lead by a wide margin. martinez is very limited in what he can do bc of multiple reasons. but one#of them is the fact that batman HAS punched a cop before. three actually. and he won't hesitate to punch another if martinez actually did#anything to harm nightingale. and also nightingale shows up so rarely and doesnt stick around long enough for martinez to retaliate#or properly plan ahead. its kinda a wild card whether or not nightingale pops up on the scene.#nightingale: i am just a little guy!! the littlest of boy!! baddabing-baddaboom! you wouldn't do nothin to a little guy would'ya?#battinson who atp knows full well that if it werent for the blood blossom danny could turn martinez into a red smear: *would you?*#danny: if it werent for the laws of this land i would have committed acts of violence against You Specifically :)#and also like. every single other officer insulting batman and callin him a freak. they're not safe either martinez is just the poor sucker#that i have a name to give the face to#danny's a good kid but also i don't picture him totally.. hm... mentally stable? he's a little spicy. as a treat.#he's kind at his core but also he found his family's corpses and was isolated from society for 4 months by his abusive godfather and was#poisoned with quite literally the only toxin capable of destroying him entirely and can no longer (currently) use his powers without dying#instantly. so he's! he's doing his best! like between being chaotic and being kind he's def gonna choose being kind but also.#he's living on borrowed time and is in a constant active state of being slowly eaten alive by his own bloodstream. it weighs on ya psyche#danny's barely even processed his family's death and now he's got all this other trauma stacked on top to address. he is Windows EXP rn#tormenting martinez is just. an itty bitty way he can let loose some of the stress he's ignoring.#considering danny's alternate timeline was: world annihilation. he thinks he's doing pretty well all things considered
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Trying my hand again at some digital art once again cuz I really wanted to draw Gem with her season 10 aesthetic :) I’m really excited to do some watercolor pieces of her base too!
Here’s a version with no fish:
#hermitcraft#hermitcraft season 10#geminitay#my art#this piece is also dedicated in part to my sibling who I managed to get hooked on gem’s videos :3#I want to play around with gem’s design at some point too it’s on my very long list of things to paint#I think her aesthetic this season will be a good challenge for me with dull colors and learning to paint buildings and water#also ma look at me doing digital art! I’m slowly getting more used to it and finding a process and style similar to my traditional one#this fish seem like a very psychedelic thing so I also want to experiment with that and I would love to do an animation with them
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Still on the Witch from Mercury roll and then the ending of Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0 happened to me, so here's birthday boy in the epilogue, living the best life on Earth.
#the witch from mercury#g witch#gundam the witch from mercury#elan ceres#el4n#AU/ideas spam incoming#3 years later 4 goes by the name Jules Rey and he/they#4 and 5 both let their hair grow out#though 5 is closer in hair color to the real Elan#4's hair is a bit darker and had to be bleached regularly to keep with the image#but it's been slowly growing out#4 wasn't executed after the lost duel - instead was sent back to the science/research facility#locked up and studied with no expectations to live any longer than few months#due to the strain piloting and further testing put on their body#hence the permet scars#after Suletta found out about the whole situation from 5 the rescue mission was hatched#Belmeria helped the gang to get in#big jailbreak heist with alarms blaring and semi-conscious 4 wheeled out thinking he's probably hallucinating the whole thing#but nope it was very real and 4 joins them for the finale!#and lives of course#and so do the other 15 test subjects they got out of there in the process haha#anyway I'm fine why do you ask
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punk!soap metalhead!ghost brain blast!!!
ghost trying so hard to get soap out of the bad parts of the scene bc he's starting to get pulled in by the shadows, a group of wannabe anarchists that stand for nothing except themselves, but soap loses his shit; laying into ghost for daring to try and "save" him
no one's ever been there for him when he needed them; no one ever offered him support or a soft place to land, why the hell would he want ghost's help when he's perfectly fine on his own? (when he’s always had to be?)
"you think i can't make my own decisions? well fuck you, ghost, who needs a washed up piece o’ shite like you!"
he doesn’t talk to ghost for days, doesn’t let himself acknowledge the hole he’s left behind until he's getting pissed with the shadows one night in an abandoned house and graves starts waving around the gun he snuck through customs and it accidentally goes off, grazing soap's temple
he's never heard anything so loud, even at all the shows he’s attended and there’s so much blood; it's getting in his eyes, running down his neck and soaking into his clothes and he’s frozen. graves and all his shadows bolt after hearing the gunshot, worried about cops finding them and they leave him there; staring at the growing puddle at his feet
soap's panicking; half-blind, blistering pain lighting up his head and he can't think about anything beyond how much he wants ghost
ghost's been sulking at his flat since soap blew him off; pissed at soap for going off on him when he just wants to help but still worried about the punk. he doesn’t want him going down the same road as him; doesn’t want him to repeat his mistakes when he could save himself so much suffering and he almost doesn't answer his phone when it buzzes on the couch
he lets out a ragged sigh as he picks it up; raking a hand over his shaved head when he sees the bubble emoji and contemplates letting it ring out. contemplates answering with a growl; something a younger, crueler version of him would spit. in the end, he decides on silence and puts the phone to his ear just before it can stop ringing
he almost breaks it when he hears soap choke out, "i've been shot."
he's out the door in a heartbeat, running down the stairs because the lift is too slow; trying to get more information out of him but he can't get anything out beyond a repeated, "i've been shot."
he breaks every law there is as he speeds to soap's location; visions of his cold, bloodless corpse staining his mind's eye. the only thing keeping him calm are the strangled breaths from the other end of the line; he's not dead, he can work with not dead, this isn't tommy, soap won't end up like tommy-
ghost screeches to a halt outside a random alley and throws himself from the car when he sees soap collapsed against a garbage bin. he's covered in blood, soaked, just like that night, it's everywhere and he's not moving, he's not moving-
“johnny!”
he skids to his knees and fits his hand under his chin to check his pulse… but his heart beats strong under his fingertips and soap's eyes flutter open; flooded with blood but conscious and alive
the second he registers ghost in front of him, he’s reaching out for him; babbling apologies over and over, "you were right, i'm sorry ghost, i should've listened; i'm sorry, i'm so sorry."
ghost just gently hushes him, cupping his face heedless of the blood. "that doesn't matter now, johnny. we're gonna get you all fixed up, yeah?"
soap’s hands fist in his shirt, clinging to him. "i got shot, ghost," he says again; lost and smaller than he's ever heard from his punk and it's been years since he's felt this kind of rage but he doesn't let a drop of it touch his voice
“i know, lad. i know. gonna let me take a look at it? make it right?"
soap finally nods, his stuttering apologies coming to a halt and ghost runs back to his car to get a towel. he presses it to soap's skin, trying to soak up as much as he can so he can get a proper look; cooing assurances as soap absently hisses in pain the closer he gets to it
it's only a graze and something in his chest unravels; old fears and grief settling as the shallow wound continues to gush into the towel
ghost slumps, pressing his forehead into the top of soap's head and takes a second to just breathe. “‘s’alright, johnny; it’s not even that bad, not even that bad,” he promises, low; spoken more to himself than soap
his hand starts to grow damp and he forces himself to his feet, gathering up soap and getting him into his car. he puts the towel in his hand and presses it against the wound, trying to coax him through his shock to put pressure on it so he can drive
soap curls up in the passenger seat; eyes distant, seeing nothing and ghost has to tighten his grip on the steering wheel so he doesn't turn around
soap is the priority
he has to get him home; has to get him cleaned up and safe
then he can go hunting for the gutless shadow that hurt his punk
#this was just me wanting to give soap his post mw3 head scar ngl#tw implied past suicide#god if soap gets real mean with it. 'you dont give a shite about me! this is just you trying to save your stupid brother!#well guess what ghost?! hes fucking dead and smothering me aint gonna bring him back!’#and its the only thing he couldve said that would make ghost let him walk out the door#ghosts been here before. he knows how impossible it is to help someone that doesnt want to be helped but he cant let soap go#he cant go down that road again. cant let it be just to walk into soaps flat one day and find him in a bloodsoaked bathtub#when soap comes out of his shock he finds ghost slowly and methodically cleaning his leather jacket#hes trying hard to remain calm and clearheaded#trying not to fall back into old habits#but theres a reason hes called ghost#bc the second he stops looking after soap is the second he storms out to find graves and wring his neck#soap pushes back so hard against ghost trying to help him bc in his head being ‘saved’ or ‘better’ means being changed#bc the only help hes ever experienced has been conditional. ‘we will help you if you go to college. if you stop art.#if you change your entire being’#he cant process that ghost wants him the exact way that he is bc no one ever has#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#save post
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hey you!!!
wanna hear one of my fic ideas for a canon rewrite that will absolutely shatter your heart????
yeah...
you've been warned..
.
TW!!!
dr//g ab*se, attempted su!c!de
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alhaitham attempted to overdose after the argument with kaveh over their thesis.
.
they basically screamed each others throats off that day; they've argued over their differing ideals before but it was never this bad, and the fight eventually got a bit physical, and there was a lot of hairpulling, scratching, pulling each other up by the collar, because they weren't just arguing about the thesis anymore, they were mad at each other. until alhaitham pointed out kaveh's fatal flaw, how his altruism is going to fail him one day, and kaveh, who can't handle the truth, yanks at alhaithams hair again, telling him to fuck off, that he wishes he never met him, all through pained, angry tears. and then, he lets go and leaves, bolting out the front door and not even bothering to close it.
it was one of the first times in alhaitham's life that he had ever let his emotions get the better of him, and he watched kaveh run out of the door, panting and shaking, tears prickling the corners of his eyes out of pure, unadulterated frustration. and alhaitham realizes at this moment that he'd lost someone. again.
oh yes, alhaitham's all alone again!! no one cares about him anymore!! he'd just lost the last person in the world who gave a damn!! silly alhaitham!! all because you're you. because you had to open your mouth again. because you had to say something. all you wanted was to help, but nobody understands that. nobody ever will. to them, you're just a cold, calculated, arrogant, cocky, bastard. and look what you've done now.
the thought breaks him, and he crumbles to the ground in what can only be described as a meltdown, a very violent one. vases are shattered, kitchen wear chucked across the room, books thrown around carelessly, all while he screams curses into the air, directed at no one, maybe at Kusanali, maybe at Celestia, who knows, but he screams anyway, bordering on babbles as he stumbles to his room, dizzy and distressed and grabs the bottle of prescription drugs (working on what kind of drug currently). It's not full, it's almost empty actually, only about 10 tablets at the bottom, but alhaitham, hands shaking, laughs incredulously at himself, and eats all of them.
or at least: tries to...
the commotion he'd made upset his neighbours. initially, they were storming over to his house with the Matra beside them to have him taken care of but upon arrival, they were horrified. The matra with them practically tackled alhaitham, making him spit out the 3 pills he had in his mouth when they found him in his room; he had already taken 5. they dragged him to the bimarstan as fast as he could, the neighbours following in terror and worry.
alhaitham was saved that day and the memory still haunts him. he was so clouded with emotion he'd lost all sense of what he was doing and just felt, and it scared him how his own feelings took control of him. At that point, alhaitham only closed up even further, basically forcing on his poker face and shoving down his feelings because he never wanted to feel so vulnerable again. he doesn't want to feel. it hurts to feel. strong feelings only bring pain. more pain than alhaitham could bear.
so alhaitham chose to hide this story, he never told anyone about it, not even a single detail. but kaveh, who moved back in eventually and now lived with alhaitham for about a year since their argument, was tidying up when he found a bottle of pills under alhaitham's bed, it was practically empty, only 2 pills remained.
concerned, he questions alhaitham about it later and it was the first time he'd seen alhaitham genuinely look scared. when kaveh explained he'd found it under his bed, alhaitham snatched away the bottle and disposed of it in the trash, cursing himself for not having found it last year when the incident happened and couldn't believe it had been there the whole time.
kaveh isn't an idiot, he pieced it together the moment he saw alhaitham's reaction. he just stands there, completely speechless and horrified. all he can say is "when..?"
and alhaitham, for the first time since their school years, responds in a shaky, miserable voice, "a year ago."
and kaveh is stunned, just staring at alhaitham, who seemed so unreachable when he moved in, suddenly looking so heartbreakingly vulnerable.
he doesn't say anything.
kaveh just hugs him, buries alhaitham's face into his shoulder and hugs him. and he swears he can hear soft, weak sounds coming from the scribe, and he swears the fabric over his shoulders became damp, but he doesn't say anything.
he just holds him.
i'm sorry. come at my throat all you'd like.
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#no im not trying to mischaracterize them#my point is that alhaitham hides his true feelings so much BECAUSE of how strongly he feels in this very moment#i think he is at first a much shyer character in his student years#gaining a bit of a backbone when he becomes a true scholar#and then completely shutting himself off after this#after this happened; kaveh and alhaitham grew much closer with each other and began working on their communication#no: alhaitham did not tell kaveh the full story because he knows kaveh will only blame himself more and that's the last thing he wants#he just tells kaveh it was because he was having a breakdown over the events#just like how kaveh spent that night getting hella fucking drunk#i love angst#genshin impact#genshin#alhaitham#kaveh#kavetham#haikaveh#haikavetham#haikavehtham#kaveh x alhaitham#alhaitham x kaveh#angst#comfort#genshin fanfic#fanfic#writers on tumblr#ao3 writer#im sorry im feeding you all with this#i want them to go through the most heart shattering angst known to man and then slowly go through the process of healing together bcz yes.#people talk so much abt kaveh's side of things#why dont we hear it from alhaithams??? :3
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inside watercolour collage (21x21cm)
#i filmed clips of the process so look out for a tiktok soon#or youtube#i streamed the whole thing so check out my twitch if you like watching art slowly be materialised#traditional art#watercolor#watercolour#collage#surreal art#surrealism#artists on tumblr#dreamcore#crows#corvid#birds#crow art#traditional artist#painting#sky#clouds#bedroom#room#interior
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Ranking the Trio based on how they'd potentially parent
Makoto - He definitely has the most in regards of handling kids. I doubt he just sat their and did nothing while Komaru was growing up. Not that he'd be able to do TOO much since Makoto and Komaru aren't that far in age, but I feel he would have had the opportunity to observe and learn that way. Being an older sibling as well lends him to have a bit more experience with caring for those younger than him. Thus, I can see Makoto being pretty good at this. Or well, he'd say it's average but this guy can't help but undersell himself like that. Feel he'd be a good, classic dad.
Byakuya - Yeah. He has absolutely nothing. Or does he...??? OoOoOo! After all, there could be a SLIVER of chance though that he was educated in how to care for kids due to the fact that he's the heir. He's gotta make a ton of them. Buuuuuut, he could just, give the kids off to the maids or butlers something. So yeah. Circles back around to nope. He's got nothing. The added part is that he was the youngest in his family too, specifically in the competition though still the youngest there. Thus, he'd probably have a lot to learn before he can start potentially raising the kid.
Kyoko - Like Byakuya, she probably has minimal experience due to both her personality and how she was raised. However, unlike Byakuya, she doesn't have the "she might have learned at least something about childcare due to rich boy" excuse that might give her a change of having prior knowledge on kids. She legit has nothing. However, unlike him, I feel she'd be quicker to learn and, in adulthood, understand kids more than he does though both of them would be in a bit of a learning curve together regardless. Byakuya's just going to take more time and be petty with the fact that Kyoko and Makoto are excelling at this child care stuff more than him.
In regards on how I feel the three would work together in a parenting scenario (either the three are a thing or they're all just helping out), I feel they'd work good together! They'd really be able to cultivate a well rounded child with their differing approaches and ways of handling a child. Feel Makoto would be good with giving the kid a good sense or morality, Byakuya would ensure the kid knows their worth and can be proud of their achievements, Kyoko can teach the kid good critical thinking skills, and that's just scratching the surface of the possibilities! The trio would also be able to help each other out if the other's not as well versed with a certain task. For example, I feel Byakuya would have trouble changing the baby. There's also the mix of just general parenting troubles they'd face along the way. Furthermore, some other general thoughts I have on this concept is Hiro would be such a goofy uncle. He gives such good weird uncle energy. The kind of uncle one would wanna hang out with for sure and hear crazy stories from. Maybe a few conspiracy theories might be told as well though I'm sure the kid could eventually snuff out the truth eventually, no matter if one, two or all of the trio are parenting the kid. All three of them are smart in their own ways, that's for sure! Moreover, I feel Hina would be a cool ass aunt, definitely trying to get the kid into swimming and being nice to have donuts around every time they visit. Feel she'd also just be really fun to be around (she IS the older sibling in her own family too), the type of aunt who'd spill embarrassing stuff the trio might of done as in their youth. Feel Toko would also have good aunt potential too in a different way than Hina. She'd be the type one would get good book recommendations from. Also, while Hiro and Hina are more high energy, Toko's a lot more reserved so visits with her would be a lot less chaotic and more of an opportunity for learning for the kid whenever they're around. (Syo can supply any chaos anyway) Not saying Toko can't be fun to be around on her own! Feel she'd definitely say some memorable things around the kid, maybe roasting Hiro behind his back which would be humorous. Additionally, feel Toko would underestimate her ability regards to being around kids. Like, she'd think she wasn't doing as good as she was or just have those seeds of doubt in her about it. She has good potential to be just as cool of an aunt as Hina though, Komaru too which one can't forget her! Feel Komaru would be around when Toko is too so Toko isn't just doing it all alone, she's got some help with Komaru in terms of the kid and their potential visits. Also, no clue how to squeeze this in but I just have that weird gut feeling that Komaru would bring the kid to the zoo or the park or just some form of outing. I just feel she would.
#danganronpa#danganronpa art#danganronpa fanart#danganronpa makoto#makoto naegi#danganronpa byakuya#byakuya togami#danganronpa kyoko#kyoko kirigiri#in the scenario of the three being a thing it'd be funny if their kid lowkey had a favorite parent out of the three. byakuya'd be so salty#but also he'd be a bit cocky if he was the favorite parent. though i feel by the time he's at parenting age he'd be less annoying about it#feel all of them would be varying levels of flattered given this situation. could see them all even giving the others compliments#like if the kid says maktoto's the favorite makoto's going to inevitably start rambling on all the good aspects of kyoko and byakuya.#makoto would be more inclined to be saying all the nice stuff in a very dad like way. bit jokey but one can tell he's being very heartfelt#kyoko meanwhile would do it more in a logic based way. maybe more in a pros and cons kind of explanation to the child at hand#maybe treat the whole situation as a learning experience for the kid. not everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses#and just because one approaches something differently than another doesn't inherently make that different thought process wrong#as for byakuya. i feel he'd handle this situation a bit prideful of himself though slowly seeping more and more into actual compliments#like the way he explains it all to the child shows how much pride he has for kyoko and makoto and how much he genuinely respects them#idk. i just like the universe where the trio are all each other's hype men in their own varying ways. it's nice to think about.#havoc rambles
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hey hey ! ive been lovingly staring at all ur art ever since i found you n ‘ i wanna say !! i love ur artstyle !! sm !! waaugh !! <33
have a star ⭐️
a question ive been meaning to ask though , i cant really seem to find much information about your lights out au , unfortunately ^^”
may i ask what exactly is the premises ? :O
so the Lights Out au is essentially: the Welcome Home Puppet Show was shut down prematurely, and without any warning to the puppets. the employees turn off the studio lights when they leave for the last time, completely abandoning the building and the sapient puppets inside. the building is locked and boarded up to ensure that nothing gets out.
the lights turn off halfway through the neighbors' "day", and everyone - except Wally - goes to sleep, assuming the day got away from them & its just time for bed. the lights never come back on, the neighbors don't wake up, and problems start to arise from the lack of light. Wally and Home are left to deal with all of this alone.
(and Eddie is in the water cause... well. he's just in there! fr tho it's just a running joke for the au <3)
#yeah the info about it is rather scattered...#mostly because its scattered in my brain! and the docs i made for it!#a lot of it is still nebulous in my mind but its slowly taking shape into something Concrete i can work with#unfortunately my creative process is rarely cohesive or straightforward#a lot of the posts are more memey than anything#which directly conflicts with how the au is supposed to be-#which is: angst central babey!!!!#ive trying to hype myself up to scribble lil mini-comic things#for scenes and such i have in my head#we'll see if i ever manage!#wh lights out au#rambles from the bog#also thank you <3 sticking the star to my forehead like a fruit sticker <3#and anon dw its not a dumb question! i only outright said what the premise is like... Once ahaha
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For the boys who cry. (Me).
I'M A REAL BOY BOY AND I CRY
I LOVE MYSELF AND I WANT TO TRY
(Lyrics from Samaritans by Idles)
Background with no text cuz i'm way proud of it
#forcemasc#eh im hesitant to even put it in tags cuz my hearts rlly not in it today but#my positive masculine affirmations i usually categorise alongside my more forceful forcemasc#so its ok i think. enjoy. and know its ok to cry and be emotional. shits rough sometimes#be a better man than our dads were eh? im always striving for that#this song very much is one i relate to as someone who bought into toxic ideals to try and be me#and then am slowly having to relearn what being a man can be to me without buying into the toxicity that poisons the male role models in my#life. cuz i dont wanna be my dad or step dad lol. n theyre the types who've said this shit to me bout manning up growing balls#and it feels even more rebellious masculine and powerful to me to spit in that and go no fuck you. im a real man and i cry#and it doesnt make me any less of a man or less tough or hard#or less able to partake in hard masculine spaces and aesthetics#i can be a man who cries AND a man who can leave a bootprint on your face to remind you where you belong hah#thats part of whats nice abt forcemasc is a kink space where you CAN delve into harder more brutal things while compartmentalising#that thought process seperately from yr non-kink worldview of emotional regulation and emotional health! or whatever idk lol
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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webcomic process thumbing: NOTHING MATTERS WEEE
sketching: ughhhhh I'm literally the worst artist known to man
lineart: ZEN MODE ACTIVATED THERE IS NOTHING BUT HAPPY STATIC IN MY BRAIN YAAAY
flat colors: I'm a fraud...I've tricked everyone
shading/final details: Hey...this is actually not bad...maybe I am a good artist :^)
repeat x 1000
#al speaks#dont take this post to seriously btw I'm just poking a little fun at myself#I tend to flip flop on loving/hating my art process so I wanted to make a funny joke about it#tbh ever since I started MTE I've slowly been switching more to being a lot happier with my art and having more fun then ever even with#things I find hard to draw... WELL I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP :^)))
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once you put 100 hours into understanding the rules and mechanics of a crpg and have read 100 different redditor opinions on builds and classes and subclasses that's when you can REALLY start having fun. By staring at the level up screen for half an hour
#it is just sooo much information to process is the thing and you can't really figure it out#without just wading into the thick of it and slowly Understanding#it feels so good to understand though. it does. even/especially if i'm using it to blueprint clown builds#moon-shik is kind of the evil pure caster version of dak-wai 10 charisma paladin
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merry christmas! here’s some angst from @iusedtohavesixtoes ‘s fic, Blossoming, bc it makes me. feel everything at once.
#setleth#fe3h#seteth#byleth#boy I hope I don’t accidentally spoil anyone but I think this is vague enough#my art#so. I wanted to portray him like. essentially in the process of watching a loved one slowly die#and I don’t think I got there w that expression (wanted to make him lean into the hand more)#but that’s tricky and I spent too much time on this#boy that first part is an awful thing to say huh#LMAO#OH I FORGOT TO MENTION#I might do the part w seiros too but no promises#that part hit harder personally but this was a comfort zone drawing
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second part of my assignment might suck because I'm doing it the night before + my anxiety levels are higher than usual as a result but whateveerrr
#the people who can do assignments in like. 4 hours i wish i was you#i process things quite slowly so taking breaks to actually let things click in my mind is essential#cant do that now </3 i'll manage
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