#slightly less so given the state of the world right now i guess but it's still just sorta '? what do you mean there's nothing i can do??'

[spiriteddreams]

wriothesley likes to play this game with you called "what chapstick are you wearing today?" it comes as a result of you being gifted a variety pack of chapsticks and in light of his curiosity for taste, you end up trying all of them. and now, you don't tell him which chapstick you've brought with you for the day so it's up to him to guess which one it is. and guessing comes during the time that you join him for a meal or tea. when you finally enter his office, his pretty eyes flicker between your eyes and lips as a wolfish grin breaks across his face.

"you're not going to give me a kiss?" he tilts his head to the side as you sit across from him, raising your brows as you stir your tea.

"you're insatiable," you shake your head. "drink your tea first. do you want honey or sugar in it?" you're already moving to grab both but wriothesley is quicker, moving to snatch them from your grasp.

"but darling, i can think of something better to sweeten my tea," he leans forward, daring you to ask him what. it's a familiar game you play, full of flirtatious words and actions.

sometimes you give in, other times you don't. and today you opt to roll your eyes and stand up, rounding the table with your cup of tea that you place next to his. he hums in satisfaction, legs spreading wider so you have space to stand as his hands find their place, resting gently on your waist.

he looks up at you and drawls, "care to indulge me?"

the kiss you press to his lips is warm but quick, gone too quickly, if he does say so himself. he chases your lips as you pull away and ask him, "so what chapstick am i using today?" wriothesley thinks it's unfair for you to ask him a question like that when you've only given him such a chaste kiss. he scowls playfully, lips downturned into a pout as he runs through the possible options.

"cherry," he states confidently. it's a wild guess fueled by false certainty but he doesn't care if he's right or wrong. and when you shake your head he doesn't pout, doesn't show any sort of remorse for guessing wrong. instead he tugs you down towards him, capturing your lips again and holding you close. and when you finally pull away from one another, he licks his lip and hums thoughtfully.

"i think i need another kiss to be certain about my answer—"

you pull away and roll your eyes as wriothesley protests and tries to bring you back towards him.

"pomegranate!" he exclaims, standing up quickly before you can escape his loose hold.

you laugh quietly and move to place one hand on his chest, the other sliding up to cup his cheek. he looks down at you with such soft adoration that for a brief second, you wonder what the world's reaction would be to his displays of affection around you. but no matter that thought, because with a nod of confirmation for his correct guess, he's swooping in for another kiss, and you can feel him smiling into it as your upper body leans back slightly, pushing yourself closer to him.

"so what's my prize then?"

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! <3 a/n: i need to get to class in less than an hour, i don't feel good, but the wrio brainrot was too real and i needed to write it down

[ivanttakethis]

Post Row 5 [Pt. 1] - Tov’s Log

————————————————————

Tov woke up in the hospital.

Again.

Same room layout.

Same smell of antiseptic.

Same IV needle.

Same heart monitor beeping.

The sense of deja vu was strong enough to make her dizzy.

Fleeting vestiges of Himei’s warm smile slipped through Tov’s fingers like sand.

Despite the IV feeding into her left arm, her right arm stung like she’d been burned.

She groaned.

“Welcome back to the world of the living.”

Wren was sitting at her bedside, just as she was before, grey eyes studying her face in anticipation. Her face mask was white again.

“Heart attack?” Tov rasped.

Is there really a need to ask?

“Yep, right on stage.” Wren nodded. “It happened before you could be shot. Though this one was worse than the last. We almost lost you for a second there.”

Tov furrowed her brow, “Lost me? What do you mean?”

“You died. Technically. But only for a little while.”

Because that makes it so much less traumatizing.

Tov resisted rolling her eyes. Truthfully, she should be grateful to have the chance to roll them at all.

“So what now? Are they going to make me compete again?” She asked.

“Nope!” Wren clapped her hands together, pleased. “The Alien Stage contract states that contestants who die are removed from the competition. Since you technically died, you were removed. So you can’t be forced to participate again.”

“A legal loophole.” She muttered under her breath.

The gears in Tov’s head were working overtime, fighting against the sedatives she’d been given to try to make sense of everything.

She couldn’t believe it.

A heart attack had killed her and saved her life all at once.

She was reborn.

She was free.

Tov would laugh if her ribs didn’t ache.

“I never thought I’d feel lucky to have a heart attack.” She said. “I guess I shouldn’t have doubted your good luck charm.”

Wren’s tone sharpened. “Yeah, it served both of its purposes well.”

The fine hairs on the back of Tov’s neck stood on end, “I… don’t follow.”

“Well, while the ring is a good luck charm, it’s also an electronic device that can be remotely controlled. So when you lost your round, I sent an electric shock through the ring.” She said.

Tov blinked. Once.

Twice.

What the fuck?

Her heart rate spiked, the monitor she was hooked up to started beeping faster. “Y-You caused my heart attack? You shocked me into cardiac arrest?!”

“Yep.”

“I’ve been wearing that ring since I got out of the hospital after my first heart attack. You’re telling me you could’ve shocked me any time between now and then?”

Wren nodded once, completely unfazed by Tov’s change in demeanor. “If you’d lost to Akane or Jae, I would’ve done it sooner.”

What the fuck?!

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want you to die.” Wren said, like what she did was a completely normal solution to the problem.

“But—” Tov groaned in frustration, her chest heaving from short breaths. “But why me? Why would you do all of this for me?” She asked. “We don’t know each other well. We’re barely even friends. It doesn’t make any sense!”

“It makes perfect sense,” Wren said, calmly removing her mask, “Because I’m your twin sister.”

She pulled the cloth away from her face revealing a nose very similar to Tov’s own, with a broad scar across the bridge, and an identically shaped mouth drawn up in a smile.

Tov reeled back, struck by the glaring similarities. Alarm bells rang loud in her head.

Not possible.

That’s not possible.

It must be a coincidence.

It has to be.

“H-How are you so sure?”

Wren’s smile shifted slightly before she pressed two fingers against her eyes and removed contact lenses.

Grey contact lenses.

The ones Tov always thought looked off.

And she found herself staring into dark brown eyes, with slightly misshapen white stars in their irises.

A mirror image of her own.

WHAT THE FUCK??!?

Her heart slammed against her chest, punching the air out of her lungs, hard enough to make her physically wince.

She couldn’t breathe.

No.

No no no no no no no.

I don’t have any biological family.

I don’t have a sister.

Flor was the closest thing I ever had to a sister and she’s dead.

I’m an only child.

I was alone when Cassio adopted me.

Why is this happening?

How is this happening?

Tov gripped her bedsheets until her knuckles turned white.

It felt like her world was tilting again.

Sharp and sudden.

Disorienting.

A wave of nausea rolled through her.

“This whole time… Have you known this whole time?” She could taste bile on her tongue as she spoke.

“I always knew I had a sister, but I’ve known you were my sister for a long time now.” Wren said.

Tov looked up at her… sister? Twin? She didn’t know anymore. “How long?”

“The first time I saw your face was when I was ten. It was on a billboard downtown. I knew from your eyes.” She said. “It’s been thirteen years since then.”

“Fourteen,” Tov said, reflexively. “We’re 24 now, so it’s been fourteen years.”

“About that, we’re actually 23.”

Tov frowned, confused, “But my teeth were—”

“Growth-dated?” Wren finished for her. “Mine were too, probably around the same time as yours. The results placed my age at 3.45 human years old, and my age was rounded down to 3 years old.” She said. “I’m guessing, your results came out to 3.5 after rounding, and then you were rounded up to the whole number age of 4 years old; a rounding error on their part. Otherwise we would’ve been in the Season 40 class together.”

She stared blankly at Wren.

Blinked.

Struggled to process what she’d just heard.

A rounding error?

My life is the way that it is… because of a rounding error?

It all felt so trivial.

By the mark of a different pen 20 years ago, Tov would’ve never met Himei, or Tallis, or Nyx, or Moran, or Dian, or Flor.

She would’ve never come to love or care for or lose any of them.

Tov wouldn’t even be the same person.

Her temples throbbed.

She was so distracted by the new flare of pain that she didn’t hear the door swing open and slam shut, or the pairs of footsteps quickly approaching the side of her bed opposite of Wren.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” A deep voice snapped.

Tov lifted her head and her vision went fuzzy for a moment before focusing on Elias’s face.

He was angry. Furious, even.

She could see it in his eyes and the tight pinch between his eyebrows and the sharp, downward curve of his mouth.

There was a wild emotion simmering just below the surface of his skin, barely held at bay by the strict and obedient frame of a soldier.

But his anger wasn’t directed at Tov.

It was directed at Wren.

She didn’t seem phased by him at all, “What are you talking about?”

Elias scoffed and dug into the pocket of his jacket, tossing whatever he found inside at Wren.

She caught it midair with a lazy, outstretched hand, without looking away from Elias staring her down.

“Oh,” Wren said, “You found my good luck charm.”

The shock ring. Tov thought.

Only now did she realize she wasn’t wearing it anymore.

“Cut the bullshit, Wren. I know what the ring did. You are so fucking lucky I found it first. What were you thinking?!”

“I was saving Tov.” Wren said plainly.

“You could’ve killed her!” Elias hissed. “Her heart stopped. Prem and I had to keep it beating manually until we got a pulse back.”

Tov tore her eyes away from the growing volatility of the back and forth to look behind Elias.

Prem was there too, almost as pissed off. His arms were crossed, jaw set, eyes narrowed and glaring daggers at Wren.

“She would’ve died for sure if I’d done nothing.” Wren countered, voice scarily even despite the subject matter. “At least this way she had a chance of surviving, and we didn’t have to watch her take a bullet to the head.”

We?

Hang on—

“How do you guys know each other?” Tov asked.

Despite not raising her voice, or even speaking at her usual volume, Elias and Wren immediately stopped to give her their full attention.

Like a fire smothered in foam, the tension between them fizzled out.

They both looked at her with gentler gazes and softened edges.

It felt oddly familiar.

Elias sighed and ran a hand down his face, “Tov, meet your benefactor.” He said, nodding to Wren.

Wren gave her a half smile, “Surprise.”

…

..

.

What?

————————————————————

So yeah, Wren is a little fucked up, actually. She’s a very “the ends justify the means” type girl, even if the means are like,, morally questionable.

But that’s just how she was raised. You’ll learn more about that next time!

Also, note the wording used in the letter Tov’s benefactor (Wren) wrote to her in the Before Round 30 log:

“We will meet at the End of Round 30,” instead of “When you win Round 30,” because if Tov survived her heart attack, Wren was going to “meet her” as her twin regardless of if she won or lost.

Shoutout to @rockwgooglyeyes who guessed that the information leakers (Elias and Prem) were linked to Wren a while back.

I had a good chuckle reading your tags with my narrator knowledge 😁

[judyfromfinance]

Olden Times. Modern Thinking.

(Heimdall/Modern!Reader)

Summary: You know things you’re not supposed to. You behave oddly. And the way you speak is even odder. Kratos, Mimir, and Atreus have no idea if they should believe your ramblings of another world and of a future they have no way of knowing is real. But, you seem harmless enough. Plus, Faye may rise from her grave if they let a poor woman freeze to death in their forest, right outside their home no less.

~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 4

This new world you found yourself in was so vast, and so so terrifying at the same time. Beautiful but other worldly. Like it shouldn’t be real and yet here you are. Witnessing it with your own eyes. You were walking along the spindly branches of the world tree as you followed Sindri to his home. You stared out into the vast periwinkle void and you could’ve sworn you felt something stare back. You think back to your earlier thoughts. Beautiful yet terrifying. Lovecraftian in a sense, but some of his work was based off of Norse mythology so I guess calling something Lovecraftian that existed before him and even may have given him inspiration was just not right. But hey, it made sense in your head.

After Atreus came back in from his talk with Odin, Kratos showed up a couple of minutes after. They got into a slight argument, as they tend to do, and then Kratos decided that it was best to see what had gotten his boy so wrapped up that it would cause him to lie to his own father. But of course that left you, a mortal that could barely use a sword and could definitely not scale cliffs as easily as the two gods before you. “I can just stay here if you want?” Kratos just shook his before continuing to think. “They might come after you again.” He stated. You shook slightly at the thought. Atreus looked at with concern but you saw a twinkle of something else. Curiosity. He took a couple of cautious steps towards you. “Why were they here? What did they talk about?” He questioned. You knew what he really wanted to ask though. What could those gods possibly want with you? And again, just like when you first met them, you told them the truth.

“They think that I can help them prevent Ragnarök somehow.” You turned on your heel as you paced back and forth. You looked back up at them with a sigh of exasperation. “I don’t know how they knew but they knew! They knew I wasn’t from here. I don’t know exactly how much they know because our conversation didn’t get that far.” You think back to your fear ridden self. Your first thought was to get out of there. Not about possibly getting answers of your own. “I don’t know why they would think that but… I don’t know… I’m just really confused right now. I’m sorry.” You mutter softly. You felt like a burden. Not only are you slightly messing up the timeline, though they don’t know that, but you can’t even help them with their problems. They saved your life. They fed you. They clothed you. They gave you a warm bed and helped teach you about this land and all you can say is ‘I don’t know’ and ‘I’m sorry.’ Maybe… maybe you should finally tell them. But how would you even go about explaining it. ‘Hey your whole life’s a video game for other people’s entertainment!’ just wouldn’t cut it. As your mind began to spiral you heard a soft spoken voice speak up.

“She’ll be safe at our house.” Everyone turns to look at the dwarf in the doorway. Sindri smiled and waved. “All of you are welcome actually. You probably need a new place to lay your heads since this one is… well…” he looked towards the hole in the roof. “Compromised. Heh.”

And that’s what lead you to know. Walking through this mystical looking void, trying desperately not to peek over the edges of the branches. The thought of tumbling over your own feet and falling to your death in an endless void making you sick to your stomach. Sindri turns back around to you and starts up a conversation. “Me and my brother don’t often have visitors so this will be new and exciting. Hopefully? Just uh… wipe your feet off before you enter. If you can?” You nod your head in acknowledgment. “Yea I can do that. I can leave my shoes at the front door if you want? Don’t really need them inside tracking mud and melted snow anyways.” He stops before you, hands on his hips and a slight smile on his face. “That’s actually a great idea. I should implement that. Thank you!” You giggle before gasping in shock. A bright white light in the shape of a door appears before you. Sindri ushers you forward as you slowly push yourself through the mist. It felt tingly. Like when you scrub your sock covered feet against the carpet and go to poke at someone. But instead it’s all over your body. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s quite shocking nonetheless. Sindri follows behind you.

“By they way, I think we may have found some items that belong to you.” You furrowed your brow. Confused on what he could have that might belong to you. “What do you mean?” He goes to open the door of his grand treehouse. Taking off his heavy duty boots as he continued, “Well Atreus told me a lot about you. How you may not be of this world and well, Brok and I have found some…” he swallows as he tilts his head. “Unusual items on some of our scavenging expeditions. So I’m just assuming here.” He turns quickly towards you with his hands raised high as you unbuckle your boots. “Of course I could be wrong so if I am I apologize for over stepping.” You place your boots next to his as you wave your hand at him. “Don’t worry about it dude. It’s fine. But I’d like to see them if you don’t mind.” He nods before another burly voice interrupts him.

“So you’re that weird mortal girl they found on deaths doorstep.” Brok looks you up and down behind his smithing station and huffs. “Yea, you look like you wouldn’t be able to survive a greasy warthog tooting at ya, let alone Fimbulwinter.” Sindri gasps before turning to you. “I am so sorry. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by that.”

“Like hell I did!” You couldn’t stop the laughter as it burst forth. You grasped your knees as your stomach started to ache. Honestly, what he said wasn’t even that funny but you couldn’t help but feel a slight weight be lifted off of you at his strange behavior and odd idioms. You calmed down before apologizing. “I’m sorry, that was just…” you shook your head as you tried to find words to describe your thoughts. “I don’t know man, that was just fucking funny I guess.” Sindri looked appalled at your foul language as Brok bellowed out a laugh not to dissimilar from your own. “I like this one. Well come on then! We haven’t got all day, you wanna see those odd contraptions or not?” You nod enthusiastically as you make your way over to him. He bends down and grabs a big wooden box. “I can tell one of them is a bag but it’s definitely an odd looking one. Don’t know what’s in it. Didn’t care enough to open it and the other one?” He just shrugs. “Fuck if I know what that damn thing is. It gets bright sometimes that’s all I know.” You nodded as you opened the box.

“Oh my god! It’s all my shit! Holy fuck thank you! How did it even get here? Where did y’all find it?” You shouted in shock and awe. Brok laughed his ass off as Sindri sighed. “Do you always speak like that?” You nod your head but apologized to him anyways. This was his home after all. You grab your pink and blue Little Twin Stars mini backpack. It had dirt smudges everywhere and a couple of claw marks. Looked like an animal tried to get into it but gave up halfway. It wasn’t as pristine as you usually kept it back at home but it was here! In your hands! You push it to the sides for now. As you look into the box and swiped your phone. You could cry. It was your phone! Fuck what everyone else said about the evils of material goods in the modern world. You spent good, hard earned money on these things. Of course you’re gonna enjoy them! You’re a material girl in a material world and that’s all you’ll ever wanna be. And you won’t feel sorry about it either. You turned your phone over and looked at the the pink Cardcaptor Sakura phone case. You looked at your phone charms dangling on the side. Toro Inoue and Pipimi and Popuko. They were dirty but fine. You then look towards the screen. Sadly it was cracked. Starting from the left corner down to about halfway down the screen in a spiderweb like fashion. Thankfully though, you had a screen protector. Your iPhone recognized your face as it opened up and you were bombarded with notifications from all of your apps. You began going through them, not even giving a second thought to how your phone is possibly working here at all. Sindri and Brok flanked both sides of you as they watched your fingers slide across the screen. Moving bright little boxes with words they couldn’t understand. Brok, starting to get restless, slapped your shoulder and asked “What the hel is that thing?” Sindri nodded, “I would very much like to know too.”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry. I just got really excited. Um…” you try to think of a way to explain what a phone is to people that don’t even know what technology is. “How do I put this? This is a phone. It allows me to contact people from far away. So say I was here with you guys and let’s say Atreus was all the way across Midgard right and he uh, he also had one of these. We would be able to talk to each other no problem.” Now that you’re hearing yourself out loud you cringe a bit. Describing how things worked or what things did was never your forte. If anyone back at home were to ask you to explain anything you’d hit them with a “I don’t know. Google it.” Sadly, you can’t really do that here. And you can tell that you explanation wasn’t all that great as they still looked confused.

“How does that work? And how can you control all those things with your fingers? Can it do anything else? One day it stated to make a, in my opinion, grating noise. Why did it do that?” Sindri just piled on question after question. And you felt bad because you didn’t know if you’d be able to answer all of them. Brok noticing your exasperation slapped Sindri on the back as he moved around the table. “Give the girl some room. You starting to sound like an ingreased cog.” Sindri stumbled forward as he turned to glare at Brok. “Ow.” He huffed before Turing back towards you. “I’m sorry.” You shook your head and smiled. “No need to apologize. I get it. It’s something new and interesting. You want to know more about it and I don’t blame you. But even though this is mine I don’t know how everything in it works. I just know that it does.” He shuffles forward towards a small door. “I understand. Here, this used to be a broom closet but we renovated it slightly to be a room. I know it’s not the best thing in the world but it’s a place to lay your head.” You peek into the room with a smile on your face. Definitely still is a broom closet if the mop in the corner was anything to go by. But the bed on the other size of the room that seemed to be the perfect size for you was nothing to sneeze at. “It’s perfect Sindri. Thank you.” You turn towards Brok. “And thank you too.” You grab your backpack and the bag you brought with you from the cabin and set them right next to your bed. You turn towards the door and looked at the Huldra brothers with a fond smile.

“I hope you don’t mind but I think I’m gonna sleep for a bit. It’s been a pretty eventful day.” Brok nodded before leaving. You can hear the sound of hammering start back up on the other side of the wall. Sindri smiles, “Of course.” He goes to close the door before peeking his head back in and saying a quick, “Sweet dreams.” He blushes before slamming the door closed. You hear him mutter something before scampering away. Brok lets put a hefty laugh, making fun of his brother’s embarrassment. You lay down and stare at the ceiling. You hear Sindri leave through the front door. Most likely to bring Kratos and Atreus back to their newfound home. You bring your phone back up to your face. And open it. You click on an app that you know all too well. As you scroll through all the different fanart of the very same characters that you are sharing a home with your struck with the sudden fear that your gonna have to come up with some way to help these people. You can’t let any of them die. But again, what can a mortal do amongst gods? You have the advantage of knowing what is going to happen and when. But how good is that when these gods can easily over power you and kill you. You have to tell them. You have to tell them everything. They’ll be able to help you come up with a game plan. You sigh as you turn off your phone and turn to your side. Staring at the stationary mop and bucket of water. You just hope that Kratos will listen to you. You hope that they all will. And maybe, maybe they won’t be mad. God help you.

Sorry this took so long y’all. My sisters been letting me use her pc and I’ve been playing Stardew Valley with a bunch of different mods and loving it! There’s a mod that make Toshinori Yagi a marriageable character and AAAAAAA I love him. Anyways hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Let me know what y’all think in the tags or the comments. Thank you~

Taglist: @zoleea-exultant @sumebuddy @sissontrinity123 @different4black @vknr @slaying69696969 @dont-mind-me27 @dijanur @frog-cultist @jamallemal @star-angel1 @mrsurrealism @ladysaribu @shirocchi13 @noxiemoon @fullmoonwolfer1 @forg1 @onix-a @silvergoldraeven @inky-weeaboo-weirdo14 @fandomcatchall @itsanimetimeeeee @lmorg149 @doubledaredevil @screaming-potato @6demonica9 @einsvei @mad4hugs @oreocookie24 @mr-trick @lunaryasha @rustypotatospork @love-giselle @entityunbound @nixeustheclamity @majestichugs @blazingstarsblog @cheesewithasideofcheese @photos-fantasy-and-scifi @shycandykitty @photographykomiko @thatonetransformersfan @lunamomo @romanzpixxa-blog @violet2507

[captain-kit-adventuress]

The Supreme Court just made political gerrymandering completely legal as of May 23, 2024. Let that sink in: the political right can rig the maps as much as they want, and there's nothing anyone can do about it legally. So guess what? That means no one has the right to tell Republicans they can't draw the maps in any way they please. They will redraw maps in the most egregious of ways and not a soul can take them to task over it, or force them to set maps that are fairer. It is the law of the land as of less than two weeks ago and I don't see anyone talking about that and the success of their glorious revolution.

So now that the political right is attacking anyone who disagrees with them with every ounce of power they've got, numbers are our only viable option to defeat them. We have to vote, and vote for Biden, in such staggeringly high numbers that Trump cannot get elected. And let me be very clear: sitting this one out because "Palestine" is shifting the blame for a second Trump term onto people who don't even have enough food to survive and are still constantly under threat from all sides.

You do see that, right? That washing your hands of this election because you don't like Biden or don't think he's progressive enough or want the violence in Palestine or anywhere else in the world to stop or any other reason, that's shifting the responsibility for your actions onto the rest of the world and forcing them to pay the cost of your ideology. "Well, the Democrats shouldn't have run Biden!" But they did. They did, and the only thing you can control in that situation is your reaction, and if your reaction is to not vote, then you are the ones that have to take responsibility from the consequences that arise from it.

Do you truly understand what you might be asking the world to cough up for? If Trump wins, do you think he will have any compunction about using nuclear weapons against the Palestinians, for example? Do you think he will have any compunction about using them against us? Biden's actions concerning Palestine are horrible, but I can safely say he would not unleash nuclear terror. And that's just one example of something that might happen if Trump wins. There are plenty of others that he has already said he will do everything in his power to implement if he wins, and they are terrifying enough on their own.

Our only course of action here is sheer numbers. Sheer numbers are the only thing that can defeat the kind of gerrymandering the Republicans have been trying to institute for decades. And since the Supreme Court has ruled on this, and since any Supreme Court decision outweighs any other legal case that could be brought, sheer numbers are the only option left.

"Dems could run a progressive candidate this November!" No, they cannot. Any candidate on the national ballot has 50 different sets of state election requirements to get through before they can even validly be printed on the ballot. Some states even have deadlines to file by, and we've already shot past them in a lot of places. In Nevada, the deadline to file for the national ballot was November of last year. In the rest, there's simply no time to meet all of the requirements, especially in states where it's required to appear on a primary ballot before you can be allowed to run in a general election. It is not legal to run a candidate who does not satisfy these requirements. If you think Republicans are crying about election interference now, imagine what they might do with a national candidate who tried to run illegally. And, you know, it would be bad to set that precedent anyway.

This is it. There are no other options. We all must vote for Biden, and we all must do it in staggeringly high numbers. There will be no 11th-hour candidate. Someone between Biden and Trump will win the election and honestly, we cannot count on this not being the last even slightly free election we ever have, given many of the statements Trump and his cronies in the Republican Party have publicly made. So you can either swallow your pride and vote for Biden, or you can usher in the fall of American democracy because once Trump is installed, no one can promise he will leave. He already attempted insurrection once, I don't think he'll have any problem trying it again, if necessary.

Do not make the world pay for your inability to accept that meaningful change is slow and often boring and riddled with people you don't like, even if they're doing the work you asked for. As others said above, vote for Biden now, and run for office next year. Don't just say "not my job" and walk away, because you're turning your back on all those you claim to want to help. None of what you want is possible if we hand the keys to the country to Trump.

I feel like disappointment in Biden is baffling to me because he was always a disappointment. He was the asshole who got to ride to power on the coattails of a better man. He told bizarre and repeated lies (despite getting caught at it and his team telling him not to) about having a Welsh coal miner dad when he did not and he stole that story from actual Welsh people. I read a profile of him years back that pointed this out and told the story of the time he straight up ignored good advice from an expert not to plant a certain kind of tree too close together and flew a bunch of them out to plant, at night because he was just too fucking excited about it, and they all died. He’s not a smart man! He’s charismatic ish and lacks principles and as far as I can tell doesn’t really care about abortion rights or a lot of things we’d consider pretty critical to preserving freedom. I sincerely thought he couldn’t become President because there were so many obviously better candidates in the pool. I underestimated the sexism and antisemitism in American politics, and when he became the candidate in 2020 I gritted my teeth and voted for him because the alternative was a man who is not only an idiot but also profoundly dangerous. Trump is not ha-ha crazy, he’s Mussolini crazy. He is not dangerous because he’s stupid, although that doesn’t help; he’s dangerous because he does not care about anyone except himself under any circumstances and if that means he lets the far right push us straight into forced birth for white women and sterilization for women of color he’s going to do that. If that means conversion therapy for queers and death penalty for homosexual acts he’s going to do that. He has literally no limits. If he gets back into power, a whole lot of people are going to die, again. It’s not a hypothetical because it happened the first time and he’s only going to get worse.

I am not, never have been, and never will be a fan of Biden. To pretend that he and Trump are in any way equivalent is wrong at best and another goddamn Russian psy-op at worst. To pretend that a third party candidacy is viable in the US is to completely ignore every election of your lifetime and your parents’ lifetimes, and to further ignore the lesson of Ross Perot.

You cannot save Palestinians by not voting for Biden in November; the best you can do is chip away at his margin, and the worst you can do is see Trump elected so he can decide to do the worst possible thing in ever circumstance. Biden has Palestinian blood on his hands and watching this when we could have had Bernie or Elizabeth Warren instead is maddening. (I would have preferred Hillary to Trump, but I don’t think she’d be any different than Biden here. They’re both old-school politicians.)

I hate everything about this, and I hate that saying “maybe don’t put the man who literally said he would kill his political enemies in power” is seen as supporting genocide. It’s acknowledging reality. Joe Biden as a person can eat rocks for all I care. I was kind of hoping he’d die sooner in his term so we’d have time to get used to and then vote for President Harris. (Remember when the line was “she’s a cop, don’t vote for her”? Funny how there’s always a reason not to vote for a woman or a person of color or someone you just “don’t like” and can’t put a finger on why except she “seems angry.” Oh does she. How would she not? When Michelle fucking Obama, the picture of grace , STILL got called angry for having the nerve to be a Black woman with an opinion? When Hillary Clinton lost to a man with no political experience to her decades and who openly discussed sexually assaulting women? Would you have voted for President Harris? Or would you let Trump win again because you don’t LIKE her personally and she’s made decisions and statements you disagree with?)

Biden has both less power than his critics give him credit for and more power than his fans give him credit for. He needs to do more to pressure Israel and although it’s a delicate diplomatic situation I’d rather see us fuck up our diplomatic relationship with Israel than watch more Palestinians get murdered for things like “wanting to eat” and “existing.” The line has been crossed, and he doesn’t see it. Because he wasn’t the best person for the job. Because they didn’t get elected, because of sexism/antisemitism/racism. Hell, I have no idea what bootlicker Pete Buttegieg would have done here, but I’d have given him a try. But no. We got Biden and we’re stuck with this reality where you can be as leftist as you want and still have to look at the situation and decide whether you’re comfortable contributing to a Trump victory through inaction. I want socialism—I want every single person on Earth to have clean drinking water, enough safe food, shelter, medical care, and education—and I’m going to vote for Biden, pissy as it makes me, because the only actual alternative is so, so much worse, for me personally as both a woman and a queer, and for everyone in America and the rest of the world who Trump would find reasons to hurt. What do you think the man who openly and repeatedly praises dictators is going to do when those dictators massacre their own people? Yes, we need to care about this genocide now. We also need to care about all of the other people who are at real risk, both at home and abroad. Would a Trump government agree to fund military intervention in Haiti without insisting on it being a colonial exercise in power? Would a Trump government roll back the restrictions on discriminating against transgender patients in healthcare? How would Trump respond if Orban started dragging people into the streets and shooting them en masse? How would Trump respond if China finally went for it and invaded Taiwan? There are more lives at stake here than mine or yours or even those of the Palestinians, who have deserved better for literally decades and are being mass killed in ways that should result in immediate sanctions, a war crimes trial, and the execution of Netanyahu.

The world deserves better from you than complicity in a Trump victory.

[astriiformes]

Me, without fail, whenever I have to deal with a severe anxiety day: Why am I so anxious?

The spirit of mental health, equally without fail, manifesting to gently touch my shoulder and speak words of wisdom as it does every time: Perhaps it is your three separate anxiety disorders, Nathan

Me:

Me:

Me: ...That CAN'T be right

[oddaodd]

· Wailing Teapots ·

Summary: When Tommy begins suspecting of Y/n's true allegiances he goes and questions her in her apartment only to discover a dark secret. (Angst/Fluff)

Warnings: Implications of abuse. (Nothing too graphic but just in case).

Author's note: I'm back! It feels so good to write again! My life has been a bit hectic lately, but I hope I can continue to make time for my writing because it honestly feels like coming back home after the most exhausting of voyages. Anyhow I hope y'all enjoy this and have the loveliest of days. ❤️

·

Three strong knocks on the door stole Y/n’s attention from the live fire burning in her fireplace. With quiet feet she tiptoed to the door and placed her hand on the doorknob and stood still hoping to hear something that could tell her who it was behind the door, but she could only hear her own heartbeat beating violently in her ribcage as she held her breath.

She slightly hated herself for being afraid, but she couldn’t not be afraid, not with all the letters that had been delivered to her home.

“I know you’re in there Y/n”

As soon as she recognized the voice as Tommy’s, she finally breathed again before partly opening the door a weak smile gracing her features when she took in the sight of him. Before she could ask him what he was doing there he pushed the door open and allowed himself inside.

The smile vanished from her face in an instant and she quickly closed the door. There was something different about him, something that made the hairs on her arms stand up in trepidation. His eyes didn’t look like they had done a few nights prior when he took Y/n to the outskirts of town for a walk. The kind of walk in which one shares the kind of conversations that makes people grow closer together, the kind of walk which ends with a gentle kisses and fleeting touches.

“This is a nice place” he commented taking off his peaky cap, not even sparing Y/n a glance as he began walking slowly through the apartment which though small and plain held a considerable amount of expensive yet tasteful looking knick knacks that brightened up the whole place despite the old furniture that had beed there when Y/n first moved in.

“You couldn’t have waited for a formal invitation, could you?” She asked in a light tone still standing by the door, in the hope that it could change Tommy’s odd aura, but he ignored her question all together

“Almost too nice, wouldn’t you agree?” He asked picking up a vase and examining it before finally turning to look at Y/n.

“Tommy?” She asked, not really knowing why was he acting so strange.

“I know I pay you fair wages” he began, putting the vase down fixing his eyes on the fireplace where small traces of burnt paper rested “but I highly doubt you were able to make yourself of such an array of treasures with what I pay you.”

“All of this came with me from America.” She said feeling like she ought to explain herself and though her answer was an honest one, Tommy didn’t seem convinced, nevertheless, he hummed in mocking understanding before clearing his throat .

“Aren’t you gonna offer me tea?”

“Sure…where are my manners?” she said with a nervous laugh before walking to where her stove was and putting a kettle on.

Tommy followed her closely and drew a chair from her flimsy kitchen table before sitting down and taking notice of her shaky hands as she tied around a bit in the kitchen with her back to him as he sat on her favorite chair.

“Wish you had told me you were coming, I would have..���she began as she opened her pantry to put away some bread.

“You’ve been burning letters” he interrupted, not being able to shake off the image of the paper remains.

Y/n stilled for a moment before closing her pantry, thing which he noticed.

“Yeah, I don’t have the room to keep every single letter I get ” Y/n said, a defensiveness lingering softly in her words.

“I agree” Tommy said in a cold tone “specially when you are getting so many of them. Paul tells me he delivers at least 10 a week here” he continued, referring to the mailman who after being questioned by Tommy forgot all about post confidentiality.

“They are my mother’s” Y/n stuttered out.

The teapot then wailed, making her jump slightly before going to remove it from the stove and finally turning around to go and pour Tommy a cup.

“Right” Tommy said, his eyes not leaving Y/n’s figure as she poured the tea.

“Yeah, she’s ever so passionate about plants, been telling me all a-a-about her new greenhouse.” She continued pressured by Tommy’s heavy stare and silence.

Tommy offered a small cynical smile that Y/n didn’t see, she didn’t want to look at him. She felt like crying for she realized just then how suspicious she looked.

The sound of the chair being drawn again teased at Y/N’s ears, forcing her to look up at Tommy who was calmly walking towards her. She had never been afraid of him, but she couldn’t help but back away as he inched closer to her, her eyes widening.

“Who is Clyde Attenborough?” He asked producing another letter from his pocked like the many ones Y/n had been receiving for a while now. Same stamps and everything.

Color drained from her face at the sight of the letter and she found herself unable to produce an answer as her back came in soft contact with her pantry.

“What does he know? He asked.

“Where I live” Y/n whispered sorrowfully as a tear finally slipped down her cheek. Her eyes being for mercy.

“What have you been telling him?”

“Nothing” she answered truly.

“I bet he pays generously to know how the company works”

“I swear im not working for anyone else” Y/n stuttered, finally understanding why Tommy was so suspicious. Being his secretary, she knew plenty about the skeletons the family kept.

“Then why are you crying?” He pressed.

“Because you’re scaring me.”

Her words seemed to have an effect on Tommy for he immediately backed away, throwing the letter on the table, his back to her.

”I’m not gonna hurt you” he stated, beating himself up for corralling Y/n like that. His voice much less menacing than mere seconds ago. “Who is Clyde Attenborough?”

“I haven’t been honest with you” she finally confessed sniffing. To hell with everything.

At this Tommy turned around to look at her an unpleasant mix of emotions swimming in his eyes.

“Im married” she sobbed “Clyde’s my husband”

For the first time in a long time, Tommy was caught off guard.

“I came to Small Heath because I ran away from him, I figured he’d never find me but..” She said taking the letter in her shaky hands as if the thing were to blow off in any given second “I guess I was wrong. I-I don’t know how he found me”

She shifted her teary gaze from the letter to a shocked Tommy “I swear im not passing information” she chuckled sadly, the knot in her throat choking her a little.

Tommy stood glued in the same spot, not knowing what to do. His world had come crashing down when he began suspecting of Y/n’s alliances after Polly suggested he look into it. A pretty American girl, moving to a grey English town, taking up a job that was exhausting at best. It reminded him a little too much of Grace.

Now that he knew the truth , he didn’t feel any better.

“Is he dangerous?” He found himself asking after a few seconds of silence.

Y/n sniffed as she walked to her fireplace “I wouldn’t have left if he wasn’t” she said as she threw the letter into the crackling flames.

“Is he in Birmingham?”

“He keeps writing that he’ll come get me if I don’t go back, but im not sure” she answered.

Tommy fought the urge to go up to her and take her in his arms and instead put his peaky cap back on before heading for the door.

“I’m sorry” he whispered before stepping out of her place, The guilt of intimidating her in her own house gnawing at his insides and the newfound anger her husband created present on his drive home.

The next day Y/n noticed as she peeped out the window two men, both in peaky caps standing at the entrance of her apartment complex.

Three more days passed and Y/n was again surprised tby the sound of three knocks on her door as she read one evening.

“Its me, Y/N” Tommy’s voice flowed through the door shortly after the knocks.

Y/n quickly got off her couch and made her way to open the door. Her eyes falling on Tommy’s apologetic features.

“It’s dealt with” he said in all seriousness. The thick accent she loved so much vibrating through her ears.

As soon as she registered what Tommy had just said she let out a strained breath, her lips turned into a tired smile and a lone tear slipped out her misty eyes.

“Wanna come in?” She asked after a few seconds, feeling happier than she had felt for days.

“Is this a formal invitation?” He asked, a soft smile tugging at his lips, relieved that his antics from a few days prior hadn’t maimed Y/n´s trust.

At his question she just smiled, looking at him lovingly before taking hold of his hand and pulling him into her apartment before pressing her lips to his in a soft yer passionate manner. Without breaking the kiss, Tommy then closed the door.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @lilymurphy03 @slytherinicequeen

[absolutelyfizzing]

unwanted feelings

james potter x reader

description - You'd had a crush on James Potter for years and when he kisses Lily Evans in front of you, you are heart broken. Later you find that he didn't actually feel as you expected and he explains himself.

warnings - some angst, unsure reader, fem pronouns, self doubt, negative self talk, not eating for a day cause reader is avoiding someone

word count - 2800

A/N - so this one isn't my best work by far but i wrote it so looks like its getting posted. i don't know why all of my reader inserts lately are so fem and sort of bubbly, i guess it's sort of what i'm aiming for for myself right now but i'm sorry if it maybe isn't coming off as relatable.

MASTERLIST

Your throat tightened in anxiety as you watched James zoom around the pitch. He was reckless when he was playing quidditch and it was one of the things that made him great at the game and an excellent captain. It was also the thing that nearly gave you a heart attack every time you watched him play. You went to every one of his games and you always wore something of his with his colors when you were in the stands. You were stood up on your seat and a slightly bored looking Remus sat to your right, reading from a book you didn't recognize. You'd thought that Sirius playing would be enough to keep him interested but sports was just not something he enjoyed watching. You were usually that way as well but whenever James was playing, suddenly you were the most intent spectator in the stands.

You were more worried than you should have been. More worried than what was appropriate for a friend to be. That's what you were, friends. That had been reinforced many times by the shaggy haired boy and you tried desperately to get it through your head before you embarrassed yourself one of these days. Sometimes though, you just couldn't help it.

Really you might have thought he reciprocated if you didn't know any better. You often got comments on what an attractive couple you guys were but each time it was quickly corrected by James. Normally along the lines of 'Oh god no, we are just friends. Purely platonic' , sometimes followed by a shudder or a gag even. It upset you every time to no end but you played along. You rarely, if ever, contributed to the shooting down of any feelings but that was never noticed by the man you had feelings for.

You'd had a crush on him since you were probably in your second year and now you were coming to the middle of your seventh. There were a million times that you almost said something but every time there was a reminder that you were not the one he had eyes for. It usually took the shape of disgust at the thought of dating you or commentary as he pined over the Evans girl who you felt you could never compete with. How could you when she was just perfect. You saw her to the left of you as she stood in the stands as well and your hands shook with insecurity before looking back toward the game. Your heart raced nearly as quickly as James did around the pitch and you prayed that the snitch would be caught soon so that you could get rid of the stress surrounding you. You felt a hand on your right shoulder and you looked over to find Remus had stood and was looking at you caringly.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" He asked softly and you tried your very best to soften your gaze and calm your stance so you appeared less concerned with someone that you shouldn't have that much interest in in the first place.

"Of course I am. When am I not?" You smiled before looking out at the pitch.

"When youre watching the guy you're in love with play a dangerous game that you don't like." He stated simply in response to the question you meant to be rhetorical and your eyes widened.

"I don't know what youre talking about." You nearly whispered and Remus smiled.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone Y/N but its not exactly subtle. It probably doesn't help that I know the look on your face because it's how I feel too watching Sirius play." He was still smirking but your anxiety was far from eased.

"Oh god, does he know?" You asked scaredly, terrified that the answer would be yes and you would have to stop spending time with him.

"Shockingly, no." You sighed out in relief but Remus continued. "You should tell him though or else he might end up moving on."

"What do you mean? There's nothing for him to move on from. Everyone knows he's in love with Evans and he has made it pretty clear that he is opposed to being anything more than a friendly relationship with me." You choked out, struggling with the words leaving your lips but knowing them to be true.

"I mean he has a minor crush on Evans but it's nothing compared to the annoyingly huge crush he has on you. He's probably just overcompensating for the fact that he's insecure and doesn't want you to reject him."

"Why are you telling me this?" You asked sincerely. You were friends with Remus as you were with the rest of the marauders but it was nothing compared to the friendship they held within their group. You knew Remus was more loyal to James than to you so you couldn't understand why, if it was true, Remus would be telling you at all.

"Because he is trying desperately to move on seeing as he is under the impression that you aren't into him and I'd hate to see him throw something away that could be really good for him." Remus smiled gently and you looked at him gratefully.

"I really appreciate you telling me and all but I just don't think I can believe you. I can't even count how many times he has made a big show of not liking me. I love him too much to ruin what we have and I know that if I confessed and it went bad that I would lose him all together. I would rather have him in my life in a way that hurts than not have him in it at all." You stated sadly and Remus sighed but nodded in understanding.

"I get it but just know that I'm being honest and pretty soon he is going to give up on it. I just want to see you both happy but if its too big of a leap, I understand. That's exactly the excuse he tells the rest of us too."

Suddenly cheers erupted from the stands, cutting your conversation with Remus off as everyone ran to rush the pitch. The snitch had been caught and gryffindor won. You were excited for James but you were also a little terrified to walk onto the pitch to see him with the now conflicted thoughts running through your head. Your thoughts were stopped by the image in front of you which was causing the whole crowd to cheer. James had pulled Lily Evans into a kiss in his excitement and your heart stopped. You felt nausea rise in your throat and Remus caught your eye with a sympathetic look. You didn't look at him for longer than a second and you ran off the pitch with tears streaming down your face. You found your way up to your dorm, pushing yourself to get there quickly before the common room filled with students celebrating their victory. James was always one to love attention so he would be getting crazy after the game which he did just about every time they won.

When you made it to your bed, you hurried under the covers, throwing the shirt you were wearing which belonged to James onto the floor. You felt your heart clench at the despair you felt. You wanted to be upset at Remus for getting your hopes up but you knew he was sincere in his want to help. Still you felt that you would probably not be able to face James in the weeks to come. Maybe, given a little time, you could be around him and not be upset at the world for taking away your chance with him. As you laid in your bed, you stared at the ceiling. You felt tears streaming down your face and you grew angry at yourself. He didn't owe you anything, he wasn't into you. That wasn't his fault and it was so unfair of you to expect anything more from him when your feelings were not his responsibility.

You weren't sure how long you laid there but you could hear the party start and end in the common room. It must have been late. Sleep wouldnt come though, you could just feel your heart continue to break and you were stuck in a loop of self pity. You made the decision that the following days would be spent away from James if you could at all help it. That was probably what he wanted anyway and it was the only way that you would get over the pain you were feeling. At some point your roomates entered your dorm and sleep overtook you for a few restless hours.

When you woke up, the sun was barely on the rise. You hurried up and got dressed and ready. You were planning on getting to breakfast early to avoid running into any of the marauders. You found your plans were not going how you wanted when you entered the great hall to find a head of red hair next to a mop of black. Your throat tightened and you quickly moved to turn and head out of the great hall. You heard a familiar voice call your name but you rushed out before you could give it too much thought. You knew that if you let him try to convince you, you would end up having a very upsetting breakfast with your best friend and his new lover. You would rather avoid breakfast.

Throughout the day, avoiding James was proving to be harder than you had thought it would be. You had many of your classes with him and you even sat next to him in a few. He was insistently trying to get you to open up about why you were suddenly so closed off to him but you remained shut off, reassuring him that nothing was wrong and you were just a little tired from the game the day before. You avoided lunch for the same reason as you had avoided breakfast and you felt yourself starting to get a bit lightheaded. Your afternoon was spent avoiding James but soon he was preoccupied with Lily anyway.

You were hid in a corner of the library when a cough alerted you of someone's presence. You looked up to find the very eyes you hadn't wanted to see.

You pushed it down with a gulp and smiled a bit at him, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay but they were growing harder to hold back after keeping everything pent up all day. It probably didn't help that you were hungry and therefor a bit more emotional. You could feel the tears sitting in your eyes, waiting for something to go wrong so they had an excuse to escape you.

"I don't know what I did wrong." He mumbled while looking at the floor in front of you and you took a deep breath.

"There's nothing wrong James, I promise. It's just been a long day." You smiled and your heart picked up speed.

"Since when did we lie to each other?" He questioned and your heart stopped. You were left unsure how to respond.

"Since the truth would cause more damage than good." You spoke honestly. At this he looked up at you and your eyes met. A tear left you and James immediately moved to comfort you but you tried to move away, standing quickly to evade him. You regretted it as spots filled your vision, the lack of food catching up to you. You know that you turned a bit green for a moment because James looked slightly scared.

"Y/N I dont know whats wrong but you look like you should be getting to the hospital wing. You don't look well."

Before you could answer you felt your vision blacken and your legs give out before your consciousness left you completely.

When you woke up, you knew you were in the hospital wing. It smelled sterile and the bed was stiff underneath you. When you started to wake madam pomfrey came to check on you.

"You can't go around with an empty stomach like that again, do you hear me?" She scolded, though her eyes were soft. You nodded solemnly. "I was alerted that you hadn't been to the great hall to eat all day, you have to know that isn't good for you. I'm gonna have a prefect watch out for you the next couple days to make sure you're eating at meal times. Understood?" She asked again and once more you nodded before leaning back and sighing. You looked at your surroundings and were surprised to see the black haired boy next to your bed fast asleep. Your heart took off again and you felt trapped by your environment. As anxiety swirled around in your chest, James had woken up a bit.

"You're awake." James sighed, laced with relief. You still wouldn't make eye contact with him.  You felt the bed dip as he sat on it and you looked up to watch him put his head in his hands as he leaned over. You felt guilt fill your chest more than it already had from hating that you felt any claim over the man in front of you. You knew you were in the wrong and the last thing you wanted was to cause him any pain. "Remus talked to me." He almost whispered.

At that moment, you wished you could have apparated to anywhere else in the world. You looked back down at your lap and tears were once again brought to your eyes. You felt betrayal that Remus would reveal your feelings to James.

"I'm sorry." You apologized and you fiddled with your fingers.

"Why are you the one apologizing, I'm the one whos behaved poorly." He assures and you shake your head.

"That's not fair to yourself. You're allowed to want to be with whomever you want and my feelings should have no effect on that. You've made it clear for years that you weren't interested in me and it is my fault that I couldn't take a hint. I'm so sorry." You gushed out and tears started to fall from your eyes. You felt James get up from your bed and you prepared him to leave but instead you felt arms wrap around you and a kiss came to your head.

"Y/N I have had feelings for you for years. I was just always too scared for myself to even consider that you might feel the same." He whispered out but you felt only a different kind of pain. Even though he had now admitted his feelings, he was still dating Lily. Not you. Almost as if he could hear your thoughts he spoke quietly. "I broke it off with Evans." You pulled away immediately.

"What? Why would you do that?" You asked quickly and before he had a chance to answer you feared the worst. "Oh god is it because of me? James please dont let my feelings have any bearing on who you want to date, I can't stand the thought of being the reason you broke up. Even if we do have feelings for each other, you deserve a chance with Lily if that's what you want."

"It was mutual, actually. She understood that I had feelings for you and she said she had a crush on someone else. It just seemed like I had kissed her a bit rashly on the quidditch pitch and we agreed that we shouldn't have gotten together in the first place. It was only a day anyway." He reassured as he explained himself and you calmed a bit.

"So what does this mean." You got out, almost inaudibly.

"It means that, if you'll have me, I'd like to take you out on a date." He stated as if it were the simplest thing in the world and you almost couldn't believe your ears. Before you were even thinking you were nodding quickly, causing spots to once again fill your vision and James grabbed your shoulders to stabilize you before you both laughed. He pulled you by your shoulders toward him and he caught your lips in a kiss that somehow expressed all of the years of repressed feelings. When he pulled away he smiled at you and sat back on your bed. He spent the rest of the day with you in the hospital wing talking about all of the places he was going to take you in the coming weeks.

[neonacity]

LUCID | NCT DREAM ‘00 LINE X READER | CH.6

LUCID DREAMS - A TYPE OF DREAM WHEREIN THE PERSON IS AWARE THAT THEY ARE CAUGHT IN A DREAM WORLD.

Summary: It was supposed to be a harmless, professional transaction. You were to tutor a group of boys, get your pay at the end of the day, and go home to your loving fiance. Kids aren’t supposed to be dangerous, right? So why, then, are you caught up in a web of madness that slowly makes you feel like you’re in a living nightmare?

NOTE:This is a yandere plot featuring NCT Dream ‘00 line which means there will be mature themes in the story as well as obsessive, toxic behavior. If you’re a minor, please refrain from interacting. If this isn’t your thing, then just scroll and skip. In no way am I condoning anything written here— this is not love, this is obsession—nor do I think that any of the people mentioned here will act any way like in this story. This is purely a work of fiction.

Genre: yandere, horror, suspense

TW: abuse, obsessive behavior, toxic relationships, suggestive scenes, stalking, possible kidnapping, mental health. Age gap–though nothing dramatic. Everyone is of legal age, drugs, slight smut for this chapter but nothing graphic, questionable consent (?) I guess? Creepy, creepy, creepy! This will be updated as the story goes along.

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5

“EVERYONE HAS A DARKER NATURE. EVERYONE. GOOD MEN FEAR IT, AND EVIL MEN EMBRACE IT.” - JAMES ISLINGTON

The silent hum of the air conditioning filled the space like a foreboding chant. Nothing else but the sound of the hospital machinery and random noises outside pierced the stillness of the room as you stared, unseeing, at the green and orange numbers that blinked on the monitor above the bed. 

You barely have any recollection of how you managed to find yourself in the hospital, but you do remember brief memories of Taeyong picking you up from the floor you found yourself crumpled on after you got the call. You remember seeing Jaehyun's parents at a brightly lit corridor and his mother pulling you into a hug as she broke down and his father telling you how his son hasn't woken up since he was brought to the emergency room.

You remember your heart breaking in shock, mind too numb from the godforsaken pills you have been taking and your own injury. So many times you wondered to yourself if you were still caught in one of your nightmares, but every time you tried to break free from it, you're slapped back with the reality of how all of this is real.

Your fingers gently tightened on Jaehyun's hands now as your gaze landed on his face. He looked so peaceful, like he's just sleeping, that you almost wanted to bend over and try to kiss him awake. You don't even have any idea what time and day it is already, but you have barely left his side since you were brought to him. The nightmares and sleeplessness? They're barely a problem for you anymore because right now, you're entirely not resting at all unless your body forces you to crash from physical exhaustion. Even then, you usually only sleep for about two to three hours at best to make sure that you never miss a moment with your fiance.

"Severe traumatic head injury. He was lucky enough that the airbag shielded him from the worst of the impact."

The words of his attending doctor echoed in your head again like a faraway voice. You could only remember bits and pieces of what he said to his parents back then as he reported his findings, but you caught enough context for you to draw a picture of the situation. You remember Jaehyun's mother asking the chances of her son waking up again, her voice barely holding up from her emotions. 

"I cannot promise anything, Ma'm. I'd say he has a 60 percent chance. He's fighting."

And he is. You know Jaehyun inside out. He might be unconscious now, but there is no way he is giving up. Not from something like this. 

"Keep fighting baby…" you whispered in the stillness of the room as you lifted his hand gently to your lips to kiss. "I'll wait for you. We still have a wedding to do."

The slight creaking of the door barely made you look away from his sleeping face. You only did at the gentle sound of a throat clearing, your eyes slightly widening as you recognized the man who just walked inside the room. Taeil had the same mildly shocked look on him as he stopped on the  other side of the bed across from you. 

"You…"

"Are you a relative of the patient?" He asked now as he tucked his clipboard under his arm. You simply nodded, watching him quickly glance at the numbers on the monitor before his eyes settled on you again.

"I'm his fiancee."

That made him raise his brows slightly. He pulled a pen now from the pocket of his coat to quickly write something on his file. "What a coincidence. Not a good one obviously. I'm sorry to hear about him. Mr. Jung, right?"

You swallowed. You didn't want to acknowledge anything that he just said so you tried to divert the conversation instead.

"You're not his doctor. Why are you…"

"Oh. He was turned over to me today. I am one of the resident neurologists here but he had to be moved to me because his first doctor has too much in his plate already. Don't worry, I was briefed properly about his case."

Your gaze followed Taeil as he bent over to check Jaehyun's oxygen level as well as the other wires attached to him. You don't know what to feel about him taking over, but at least you already know him previously.

"Are there any changes? Positive ones?" You asked in a frail voice that Taeil definitely didn't miss. You told yourself to not act silly and ask questions that probably do not have answers yet, but you couldn't help yourself now. The man seemed to think over his words first, noticing your state, before calmly giving his reply.

"No particular ones, but the fact that there are no negative developments is… something. I will have to request for some tests to be done on him again tomorrow so we can see if there are positive changes in his brain."

Neutral. Not good, but at least it's not bad either.

"How are you? I was about to check on you again. Is your head okay?"

You were still thinking over his words that you barely caught his question. Looking up, you tried to scramble for an answer to give. To be honest, you haven't given proper attention to your own injury since this happened. You would even only remember to take your medications on your clearest, less anxious moments, which, honestly, isn’t a lot. 

"I'm uh… the wound has closed. But the headaches. They're still there."

He simply nodded. "Any other side effects?"

You didn't immediately answer. You didn't want to sound whiny, but it's not like you're going to lose anything by telling him the uglier parts of your recovery. You swallowed to try and dislodge the slight blockage in your throat.

"Nightmares…" you said now, voice soft. You briefly remembered the last one you had back in the manor before you woke up to the bad news and you felt your stomach turn again. "Lots of them. Hallucinations sometimes…"

The doctor watched you carefully and you know he is trying to compute things in his mind despite his face remaining calm.

"Have you been keeping to your schedule with your medications? Are you taking too much?"

You firmly shook your head no to his last question.

"No, I haven't been overdosing. But… I've been skipping my pills the last few days because of...because of this."

"How have you been feeling since you started missing your dosages then? Do you remember?"

That made you actually stop and think about it for a moment. Now that you are paying attention, you did notice how the nightmares have calmed down slightly. Even the hallucinations are almost gone. You frowned slightly to yourself.

"A bit… better actually."

Taeil took his time to observe you a bit more before writing something on a new page of his clipboard.

"You must have had severe reactions to the mixture of pills I gave you. I'm going to prescribe you new ones and ask the nurses to pick them up and bring them to you here. Can you promise that you'll try and take them though? You really need them to fully heal."

You nodded and gave him a slightly sheepish look.

"I will, thank you very much."

Taeil dug his hands into the pockets of his coat and gave you a gentle smile.

"Well, that's it for today. I'll come back tomorrow to give you updates about Mr. Jung." He had already turned and started walking away when he suddenly stopped to look at you again.

"Oh, and another thing. Please try and get some sleep. Recover… and then focus on helping your fiance."

******* You didn't really know what woke you up. Stirring from your sleep, the first thing that registered to you was the sound of distant traffic mixed with the gentle chirping of the morning birds from outside the window. A warm feeling radiated on your cheek and made the back of your eyelids glow red.

You flickered your eyes open and immediately rolled away to escape the ray of sunshine that slipped from the open curtains and shone directly at your face. You easily evaded it as you moved over to the other side of the bed which was empty and cold from the night before.

That was when you finally remembered that you were back in your home, in the same bedroom you share with Jaehyun. The day before, his mother offered to take the responsibility of watching over him so there was a sudden change of plans that finally gave you the reason to check back into your apartment after so long. If it were you, you would have preferred not leaving your boyfriend’s side until he wakes up, but you also knew that your future mother-in-law wanted to spend time with him so you relented. 

Of course you weren't thrilled to be home alone, especially with Jaehyun not being there, but the comfort that a real mattress provided—over the small couch you used to sleep in back at the hospital—is definitely a welcome change for your body. You even tried to take your medicine properly, the new ones that Taeil had provided, in the hopes of getting knocked down fast. Your adrenaline and anxiety had been fueling you in the past days, but you know from the way your heart thumped and your hands shook that you need a solid rest.

And you got it. You still feel a little groggy now but your body is definitely lighter and your head clearer. The nightmares didn't even come, and while they were replaced by total darkness or dreams in white that still made you anxious, you are willing to take those anytime over the graphic ones that you used to have.

You gently sat back against the headrest of the bed now and reached out for your phone to check the time. It's barely 7AM but as expected, Jaehyun's mom has already provided you with updates from the hospital. He’ll have some tests taken today as Taeil advised and then they’ll hear more about his progress. From the looks of it, she seems still set on watching over her son, which means you still have at least today free to yourself.

You quickly typed a reply to her and sighed. You’re thankful that even though you weren’t related by blood, his parents have always treated you as if you were their own. Having a family is not something you’ve really experienced in your childhood, so that’s something you’ve always appreciated about them. That is also the reason why you wish for the best out of this situation, because you also couldn’t bear seeing your fiance’s mother and father heartbroken. He’s their only son, after all.

A quick look around your room left you feeling empty. The last week has been so hard that it felt longer and now you’re struggling to find your normal pace again. In an effort to bring yourself to focus, you decided to pick up your phone once more and started flipping through your calendar to check your schedule. It didn’t take long for you to frown when you realized the upcoming dates there. You’ve plotted important academic schedules in advance and one quick look at it told you how much you’ve obviously missed in the past week. You’ve been so lost in the mess of everything that has happened that you’ve entirely forgotten about your job at the manor. You realized that they didn’t even call you once to ask about your absence, probably because they also know about the situation, but even that is not enough excuse for you to entirely fall off the radar.  

Biting your lip, you quickly scrolled through your contacts now to look for the number you need. Your thumb hovered over the call button momentarily, but you eventually pressed it anyway. Your eyes wandered towards the clock on the wall, hoping silently to yourself that it wasn’t too early for you to call.

“Rosewood Manor, how can I help you?”

You straightened on your seat.

“Hey, Taeyong. It’s me. Sorry if I called so early.”

The other boy seemed to have been taken slightly by surprise by the way he fell silent at the other end of the line. You tapped your finger against your knee, waiting for him to speak again.

“Hi. No, it’s fine. Work started for me about an hour ago. Are you okay? How’s things on your end?”

You nibbled guiltily on your lower lip and finally got off your bed to walk over to the window. You pushed the curtains open and stared at the slight snowfall that had started falling on the ground. You’ve missed so many days of reporting to them but the first thing he does is to check if you’re fine.

“I um—things are still the same. My boyfriend’s still at the hospital.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“Look, I want to apologize. I haven’t really reported to work and I didn’t even call about it. It’s just that—things have been so crazy lately, but still that isn’t an excuse for me to just not show up.”

Taeyong, however, was understanding as always. You were about to go off for another round of apologies when he gently cut you off. 

“Hey, it’s fine. We know you’ve been dealing with a lot lately so we also weren't expecting anything. Don’t worry too much about it.”

“But, the boys’ examinations and portfolio review is happening in three days and I haven’t really checked in with them. How are they doing now?”

“Oh...that. Well, we actually tried looking for a temporary tutor to help out but I...uh… I think he isn't really cutting it. Maybe because he isn’t the one who started the program with them. But he’s a big help still.”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry about that. I should have at least—look, I can drop by today and just try to fix things.”

“Are you sure? You really don’t have to. Don’t you need to be at the hospital?”

You started going around your room now, trying to gather the scattered papers and files that you’ll need. It’s a good thing you woke up early so you still have time to prepare for work. “My boyfriend’s mother is the one watching over him today so I have the day off.”

“And your injury? How is it?”

Your eyes landed on the new bottles of medicine sitting on your bedside table.

“Better. I’m feeling so much better.”

You heard Taeyong sigh in relief over the phone. “Thank god. We were so worried about that. Well, you really don’t need to go, but if you have time, I guess doing it today won’t hurt. It will help us a lot.”

A small smile tugged at your lips now and you switched the phone over to your other ear as you started arranging your bag. “Thank you so much for being understanding. I need a distraction anyway. I’d rather work than stay home alone… Thanks for not firing me.”

That made him laugh a little. “I’ll tell the boys that you’re coming over. Oh, and be careful on your drive here. The roads are a little bit slippery today because of the snow.”

“I will, thank you. I’ll be there by 9.”

******* “Noona!”

You have barely finished arranging your materials on your desk when the door to the room burst open and ushered an anxious-looking Jisung inside. You looked up quickly at him, only barely catching Chenle wobbling with his crutch before your vision of the entrance was blocked by Jisung’s tall frame. His hair looked swept up as if he ran and there was a slight flush staining his cheeks. He stopped right in front of you, stopping just in time for him not to topple you over.

“Hey, Jisung how are—” You tried to give him a smile but he was quick enough to grab your hands between his.  

“Are you back? Are you really back for real?” He pressed now, eyes wide as he tried to bend over to look closely at you. He looked like a puppy, the only missing thing being a wagging tail to complete the look. You couldn’t help the brief laugh that passed over you as you tried to calm him down.

“I am. For the day, yes. Sorry I missed so many of your sessions.”

“We thought you left us,” Jisung continued, his lower lip protruding just a bit. Just then, Chenle had finally reached the two of you, a slightly embarrassed look on his face. This is actually the first time you saw him again since the day the two of you had your accident and you’re glad to see him healthy despite his broken leg.

“Hi, Chenle. How are you?”

The boy scratched the back of his head and looked away slightly. “Fine… I’m sorry, noona. I wasn’t able to visit you when you stayed with us. I’m really really sorry about what happened in the forest.”

You tried to give him a reassuring smile and freed one of your hands from Jisung’s hold to ruffle his hair. The action seemed to have calmed him down a little because he finally looked at you again, a small apologetic smile on his own lips.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. But be careful next time, okay?”

“Are you going to be our tutor again, noona?” Jisung pressed once more and you turned your attention back to him. To be honest, you’re still not sure how your schedule will turn out after this, but you couldn’t really bear to break the poor boy’s heart at the moment.

“Yes… I’m here to teach your big brothers today for their tests though. We’ll have to schedule you and Chenle’s lessons again. Is that alright?”

A brief look of disappointment flashed on his face but he was quick enough to pick it up. Jisung smiled and gave your hand a squeeze.

“Okay. We can wait. It’s good you are back, Jaemin-hyung was so—”

“Yah, don’t hog her by yourself. You’ll scare her away.”

A new voice made the three of you look back to the doorway. Haechan smiled at your little group as he strolled casually into the room followed by Jeno and Jaemin. The three of them joined your crowd and you felt Jisung finally let go of your hand as he stepped away to go over to his brothers’ side.

“Hi. Sorry, I only returned now. Taeyong told me that you—”

You weren’t able to finish what you wanted to say as Haechan gently stopped you mid-sentence. He leaned his head to the side, eyes briefly scanning you from head to toe. Unlike Jisung, he looked calm and only barely excited.

“It’s fine. We knew you’ll come back. How are you?”

“Oh… I’m good. My head is better. I haven’t had the chance to thank all of you for taking care of me when I was here.”

“How about your boyfriend?” It was Jeno who asked this time and you quickly turned to him to address his question. Your eyes briefly slipped to Jaemin who was standing behind him before you could even speak though, and for a moment you had the impression that Jeno was shielding him—or blocking him from you. You blinked a little bit in confusion, wondering if it was just your imagination that was making you think that way.

“He’s still… still unconscious,” your smile dropped a little but you tried your best to keep your voice casual. “We’re getting more tests for him. His doctor said that he isn’t showing bad signs at least.”

“I’m so sorry to hear about him,” Haechan said with compassion and you gave him a grateful look. Your gaze settled on Jaemin again, however, who for some reason had barely looked at you since he came into the room. You know that he can be quiet and reserved at times, but there is something in the air around him that makes you slightly worried. He’s so still, but the way he carries himself makes it seem like he’s so strung up at the same time. It also doesn’t help that Jeno seems to be almost pushing him back from view.

“Hi Jaemin… How are you?” You tried to gently ask him to make sure that he is okay. He didn’t look at you at first, but when he finally did, you felt yourself freeze a little. His eyes looked dark and almost emotionless when he met yours and there were shadows under them as if he hadn't slept properly for days. He didn’t even answer and just simply stared, his gaze blank and accusing at the same time.

Haechan casually glanced over his brother and chuckled. “Our Jaeminie here has been sick for the past couple of days so he’s a little out of it. But he’s going to be fine now,” he put a hand over the other’s shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze as if to calm him down. “Right, Jaemin? We’ll try our best to go to class today since noona is finally back, hmm?”

Jaemin, however, didn’t even seem to hear him. He continued staring at you the same way that kept you pinned on your spot.

“Are you leaving again?” he finally asked and you almost felt goosebumps rise on your skin. It didn’t sound like a question… but more of a threat. You swallowed.

“I’m going to have to arrange my schedule till things get better…” you answered carefully, as if you’re navigating dark waters. That didn’t seem to cut it for him, unfortunately.

“So you’re not leaving. Forever?”

You blinked. To be honest, you’ve been thinking of quitting and just finishing the rest of the month if things didn’t improve, but you don’t think that’s the right answer to give at the moment.

“No… not for now,” you finally managed to say. You watched as Jaemin seemed to visibly relax, his stiff shoulders loosening under Haechan’s grip. He didn’t say anything after that, but he at least looked away, seemingly more satisfied with your words.

“Great. I think we should get to work,” Haechan broke the silence and looked around the room as if the tension you were feeling was just something only you could feel. He nodded towards Chenle and Jisung then. “You guys go back to your own classes. You’ll have your share of noona once it’s your turn.” He then glanced at you, smile still in place. “Should we start then?”

You nodded. “Is Renjun still not back?”

“Not yet. He’s going to be here tomorrow though,” Jeno answered as he took his seat on one of the desks.

“I see…”

Haechan also found his spot, but not before you’ve noticed him urging Jaemin to do the same. Playfully, he took the pencil you’ve arranged on the desk and started tapping it against the wood of the table.

“Don’t worry. We’ll tell him you’re back. I’m sure he can’t wait to have his lessons again~”

******* You looked over the window for the third time in the last fifteen minutes and sighed. The day had been busy with you trying to catch up on the boys’ lessons that you barely even noticed the state of the weather outside. When you finally did, it took you by surprise when you saw how much of the ground was covered by snow—one look at it told you that it is at least a feet deep by now. Your first instinct was to try and maneuver your car out of the lot before your tires get entirely buried in it, but then you remembered that you promised to wait for Taeyong to come back before leaving the manor. The butler requested for you to temporarily watch over the manor while he tries to do some last minute errands back in the city, but it’s been two hours since he originally promised to come back. You eyes glanced at your watch now, then back at the quickly darkening view outside. 

“...severe snowstorm has blocked some of the main roads in the city at the moment. Expect heavy traffic and don’t forget to drive safely.”

You turned to the television now to catch the last of the rambling dialogue of the reporter about the weather. You’ve been debating on whether to call Taeyong or not to check on him, but you didn’t want to seem impatient to go home when you only really wanted to make sure if he’s safe. From the looks of it, he’s stuck somewhere because of the hale, too.

You were on your way to get your phone from your bag to at least try to shoot him a message when you suddenly heard it ring. Getting it just in time, you almost sighed in relief when you saw his number there. You quickly took it and went over to the window to answer it to make sure you get some proper signal.

“Hello? Taeyong?”

“Hey. Finally. I’ve been trying to call you for the last hour, thank god it finally connected.”

“Oh, sorry, my phone’s in my bag. I think the signal’s getting bad because of the snowstorm. Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, about that, I’m still stuck in town. The traffic’s so bad here because a section of the main road is blocked. Road maintenance is supposed to come thirty minutes ago but I think there’s a delay because there are other roads they are working on.”

Your gaze drifted back to the television where scenes of the same blocked avenues were being flashed. “Yeah… the news says the same.  Are you safe though?”

“I am. I’m really sorry for making you wait. I’d tell you to drive back and not wait for me anymore but I don’t think you’ll also make it home in time with all this traffic going on. I don’t think it’s going to be safe. Do you mind waiting for a little bit more? I’ll tell you once the roads are better.”

You thought it over quickly, a frown settling on your face. You really want to go home, but he’s right. There’s no point in trying to drive back if you’ll only find yourself stuck in the roads for hours. Not being a big fan of night driving yourself, you can already imagine the stress waiting for you if you add a snowstorm to the mix. As much as you wanted to leave, you’re left with no choice, at least for the moment.

 “I can… I’ll just wait for you, I guess. Do you want me to do anything here while you’re gone? Dinner for the boys?”

“Oh no, no, you don’t need to do that, that’s not part of your job,” Taeyong sounded abashed when he said that. You stepped away from the window then and took a seat by the fireplace that Jeno started earlier. Half of your concentration was on the news which has now shifted to a different set of reports also caused by the snowstorm. “They’ll know when to go down and eat. Don’t worry about them. Where are they right now?”

“Ah, I think they went back to their rooms? I did tell them earlier that I’ll try to wait for you.”

“I see. Yes, I think that’s better. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated. If things don’t get better, I think I’ll have no other choice but find a hostel here and wait for the weather to calm down. You can stay there and just ask for help from any of them. You can stay in the same room just in case.”

You didn’t quickly react to the offer. Instead, your eyes flickered to the doorway of the room before refocusing your attention back to the conversation. It’s not like you have anything against spending the night again at the manor—you’ve done it before, after all—but it’s honestly not really something you’re comfortable to do again. Maybe it’s because you’ve never really been okay with overstaying at strangers’ houses but your gut feel is also telling you right now that it shouldn’t be your top option regardless of the situation you are in.

Still, you didn’t want to come off rude to Taeyong, not when he is only being kind to offer you temporary shelter while being stuck in the middle of nowhere himself. So instead, you went against your initial doubts and offered him your thanks in return. It’s just Plan B that he’s proposing after all. 

“I will. Keep me updated though if you need anything you think I can help with.”

“Thank you and I will. I have to go now though. Please make yourself at home. I’ll try to call again after an hour.”

“Okay. Take care.”

You put your phone down now with a worried frown as you heard the line drop. You couldn’t believe this is happening the first day you got back to work but it’s not like you can really blame anyone for it. The only good thing is that you’re sure Jaehyun is being taken care of right now so that is at least one thing off your shoulders. You didn’t really need to rush anywhere, not especially to a vacant home. Leaning back against your seat, you tried your best to relax as your gaze travelled around the room once again. You deliberated on sending a text to your mother-in-law to tell her about your situation but decided against it, not wanting to worry her more. You sighed. For now, you guess you didn’t have any other choice but to wait.

You did try to distract yourself by watching the news for a few more minutes before finally giving up on it. With resignation, you picked yourself up from your seat again and turned the television off. For a moment you simply stood in the middle of the room, trying to figure out what to do with your time when your gaze settled on the door again. Everyone retreated to their own rooms after they finished with their lessons so it means the house is pretty much yours for exploring if you wanted to. You toyed with the idea for a little bit, before finally resigning yourself to it. It’s not like there really is anything else left for you to do, and Taeyong did say you can make yourself feel at home if you wanted to. With a sigh, you finally turned on your heels to leave the room and peered silently into the hallway. It was deserted as expected, but still your eyes travelled left and right to check if there’s anyone out and about at this hour. It was only after you made sure that you were alone when you finally allowed yourself to step into the corridor.

Of course, you have a plan. You’re pretty much sure that checking out the rooms on the first floor is acceptable since it’s where you’ve been rotating your classes so you’re going to stick to those areas. You remember finding a library there once and you focused on finding your way to it to maybe check out some of the books in the collection. 

It did take you about five minutes to finally find the place you were looking for. For some reason, the sections in the manor always confuse you no matter how many times you try to memorize each one, probably because of how big and similar-looking they are on the outside. You’ve already tried four doors when you were finally welcomed by the familiar-looking bookshelves at the fifth one. You sighed and gave one quick look around the room before slipping yourself inside after making sure that you’re alone.

There will probably never be a time when you won’t find yourself fascinated by anything in this grand home. If the architecture of the mansion is not enough to convince anyone how rich the family is, their book collection is enough to assure that at the very least. You’ve only ever taken a quick glimpse of it once during one of your lessons with the boys, but one look of the titles in their shelves is enough to make any literature major excited. You looked at the floor to ceiling collection now, your fingers gently running over the spines of the books you could reach with a small smile on your face.

You were about to check out the rest of the collection on the other side of the wall when something in the middle of the room caught your attention. You didn’t really catch it at first because of the shadows that concealed it when you first came in, but you could pretty much discern the outline of a blanket covered standee now from where you stood. You frowned. Taking careful steps, you closed the distance towards it to try and figure out what exactly it is that you’re seeing.

A closer look revealed it to be an easel covered with white cloth. You could see the outline of the canvas where the blanket falls over it while shadows of colors peeked out into the thin fabric from the surface it was covering. How odd… you knew that Renjun had a different art room for his paintings so to see this now here in the middle of the library seems uncanny.

You didn’t know how long you remained standing in front of it, too. You know you should have walked away—after all, the white cloth hiding it away from plain view means whatever is on that canvas is not meant for everyone’s eyes to see, but you simply couldn’t tear yourself away from it. It’s as if there was a silent force asking you to pull that cloth to reveal what’s underneath, the inclination so strong that you could almost hear its voice breathing down next to your ear, unrelenting until you do what it says.

The next thing you know, you had your hand attached to one end of the fabric. You stared at it now, wondering last minute if you should go ahead or not. You swallowed and glanced around one last time around the room. If you’re alone… it wouldn’t hurt if you could take a peek, right? Nobody will know. You just have to see, then cover it back again. Before you could even think about it too much, your arm was finally moving on its own as it gently tugged at the covering. You watched as it fell gently on the floor, like a bodiless ghost melting into the shadows on the ground.

Your eyes couldn’t make out what you were seeing at first. The dim lighting of the room wasn’t helping at all, but you were sure that it was a woman’s silhouette that was staring back at you from the canvas. Colors swirled around her, like some unknown mass trying to drag her back into unknown depths. Shapes and tones jumped from the picture, but her form stood out from the rest, gracefully twisted as if she was in the middle of trying to fight and succumb to it at the same time. You frowned. Taking a step closer towards it, you tried to study its details under what little illumination the lamps above afforded you.

That’s when it all happened simultaneously. Your heart stopped beating the same time your eyes widened as they finally focused on what’s in front of them. It’s as if the ground suddenly vanished from underneath your feet and you were falling, falling, deep into the abyss despite your body being frozen in fear and shock.

You know this painting. You’ve seen it before. It was the same one by Renjun, the one that you saw on your first day working in the manor.

But it was different now. Instead of the unfinished state that caught your attention before, everything about the picture now is in sharp focus. The lines on the woman’s nude body, the hands—which you thought were simply dark swirls dragging her back—and her face twisted beautifully in pleasure and madness stared back at you like a nightmare.

But it was not those which truly shook you to your core. It’s the realization that it was your own face in the portrait that was staring back at you, silently screaming for you to run away.

You stumbled back in shock. Your chest felt tight as you tried to grasp for air while your hands fumbled to find something to hold on to keep you from crashing on the ground. Before you could even take another step, however, something hard hit your back and you felt strong arms wrap around your waist like a vice. You have barely realized what was happening when you felt someone lean over your shoulder, lips pressing against the shell of your ear.

“Isn’t it beautiful? You’re the perfect muse, don’t you think?” Renjun asked softly as he pressed a gentle kiss to your temple.

******* You didn’t know how long you stayed frozen in his embrace. For a brief moment you thought you were dreaming again until you felt his arms slowly tighten around your waist. As if a jolt of electricity shocked you, you immediately turned to push him away as you scrambled to put some distance between the two of you.

Renjun didn’t seem the least bothered when your eyes finally focused on him. He remained on his spot, his gaze on you unwavering. You, meanwhile, were shaking from head to toe, the vision of the painting still branded vividly in your head.

“Renjun—what’s this?” you managed to stutter as you pointed at the artwork in the middle of the room. You couldn’t even spare to look at it again while he merely gave it a casual glance.

“It’s you. I’ve been working on it for a long time. I was about to show it to you but it seems like you couldn’t wait for it yourself.”

You felt nauseous. A part of your rational mind was slowly losing it as you tried to process his answer. Something's not right. Something is so terribly wrong.

“Why—why did you do this?”

Renjun simply stared at you and leaned his head a little bit to the side as if he was only mildly curious of your reaction. Your stomach turned even before hearing his answer.

“You said it’s beautiful.”

“This is not right—!”

“I came home because they said you were leaving for good,” he continued speaking softly, effectively cutting you from what you were about to say. The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end and you took another step back as you watched him get close to his artwork. You watched in horror as his thin fingers lovingly ran over the corners of the canvas. “Jaemin almost lost it… It’s a good thing I got here on time.”

And just like that, everything seemed to have clicked into place. The glances, the touches, the words that seemed to have a different undercurrent under them… they weren’t just fragments of your imagination. Every little thing that has gnawed at you from the inside came into crystal clear focus and you felt your knees go weak from the weight of it all. It took every fiber of your being to try and keep yourself steady now, your legs moving on their own as they took small backward steps away from the boy staring at you now with dead eyes. You couldn’t breathe, but it was the last words he told you that finally snapped you to run.

“I don’t think you’ve realized it yet. But no, you cannot leave. Ever.”

You didn’t know where you got the energy for it but in seconds you were flying out of that room and running blindly down the darkened corridors. Your blood pumped noisily in your ears and your chest felt like it was going to split from the sudden exertion you put on it, but you didn’t stop, not even looking back as you tried to put as much distance between you and the library. You didn’t even know where you were going. All you’re focused on is to find the exit and leave the house as soon as possible.

A loud bang that sounded off to your right startled you and you screamed, the force of your shock making you whip around and almost lose your balance. Before you could even hit the floor, however, a pair of hands caught you and you immediately turned, grasping at the chest of your rescuer.

You froze. Haechan smiled down at you as he tried to steady you on your feet.

“Haechan,” you gasped as you took fistfuls of his shirt and tried to shake him in your panic. “Renjun—he’s—please, help me. He’s after me—” you gasped out, almost out of your wits. You’re on the verge of a total breakdown that it almost escaped you, the way he simply smiled down on your shaking form. It was only when you felt one of his hands gently caress the top of your head that reality slapped you in the face again. You suddenly stopped struggling in his hold, pupils shaking as you watched him study your features lovingly.

“Shh… it’s fine. I got you,” he whispered and you could swear ice pricked you from the inside. A slight movement to the right made you turn your head and you saw Jaemin lean casually against the banister of the stairs, his face serene. He gave you one quick look before a gentle smile finally lit up his features.

“Has it started?” he asked and you felt Haechan’s hold on you tighten.

“It has.”

You didn’t struggle. It was as if any trace of fight you had left you in that moment and you let your hands fall limply on your sides. Haechan also loosened his grip on you and you stared at the two boys blankly, your chest heaving as if fighting for air. They didn’t move from their spots and simply followed you with their eyes as if relishing the fear and realization flashing in your face.

Trapped.

You’re trapped.

You’ve always been.

You didn’t even realize that your legs had started moving again on their own as the pieces of the puzzle started to fall together in your mind. You were only shaken from it when your back finally hit the front door, the cold metal of the knob pressing against your spine. Jaemin and Haechan remained on their spots still, even as you blindly reached out for it from behind.

You were expecting it to be locked, so you were a little bit surprised when you felt it give way under your hand when you tried to turn it open. Just before you could even entertain the idea of escaping, however, any trace of hope you had quickly died as you turned and came face to face with Jeno standing right in front of the entrance. He didn’t look the least surprised seeing you there, as if he was waiting for you in the first place.

You eyes took in his calm countenance before slowly moving to stare downwards at what he was holding by his side. Your gaze locked on it in fear, and that’s when the flight response in you flared up again.

Jeno’s hunting rifle shone dully in the light of the entryway, his pale fingers wrapped on its handle.

“There’s really only one place you can run, noona, but I won’t advise it,” he said evenly and you felt your blood freeze in your veins.

“After all, no matter where you hide, I’ll still find you in that forest.”

It happened all at once. You broke into a run, your body screaming at you to go faster as you heard gunshots pierce the air.

---

CHAPTER 7

A/N: Good lord, I wasn’t expecting I’d finish this today but I got one large iced coffee and well... things happened. Anyway, enjoy! Let’s hope the format won’t mess up this time. T.T Finally, all hell broke loose~ <3

Tag list! 

@negincho, @jhornytrash, @jaeminhyuckiii, @jungwoosswhore​, @jsturkey, @aj-7, @pukupukupawpau, @tomiesgirlfren, @vsszn, @those-winternights, @xsnelly, @lihyuck, @laheyspizza, @miyeux27, @haoshitt, @mindofthescattered, @huangberryyy, @d1nne, @choppedupcactus, @neokat​, @yutasnabi​

[twstgabrielle]

It had started off simple enough.

Just a few sniffles here and there, nothing to be too concerned about. Then you had started to sneeze which you didn't pay much attention to. After all the seasons were changing so it wasn't unusual that your nose would act up somewhat. Then you started to cough. Like the kind of coughing that made you sound like you were dying. Added with a sore throat and a massive headache it became quite clear that maybe this was more than what you originally thought. That perhaps you may have gotten a nasty cold.

But you would never admit it.

Oh hell no. You were a strong, independent person with a ton of responsibilities to do like taking care of your friends and Grimm or keeping an eye on the other dorms in case something like God forbid an Overblot occurred. You couldn't afford getting sick. So like the stubborn person you were, you continued your everyday life, getting sicker and sicker. And of course your friends began to grow concerned, especially your roommate Grimm.

"Hey minion! You sound awful! You're not dying are you???"

The feline yowled into your ear, making your headache worse. You reached within yourself for patience to deal with Grimm. While you loved him to death sometimes you really just wanted to shake him. Just a little.

"I'm fine. Now quit shouting please you're too loud-"

You'd begun to say only to start coughing and wheezing, your hand covering your mouth. Grimm flinched at the noise. You sounded horrible, what with the froggy sounding voice, sneezing and hacking. It was obvious that you weren't okay but given that Grimm had never dealt with something like this it was difficult for him to figure out how to help you other than being his usual self.

"Maybe you should stay in the dorm today."

Grimm suggested trying not to let his concerns show through. The look he received from you was not a nice one. Filled with irritation that only someone who was sick and stubborn would show.

"Grimm. I'm fine. I don't have the time to stay in Ramshackle and miss school. So let's just get our things and go."

You crocked putting an end to it. Grimm looked at you, ears flickering nervously before letting it go. The small monster knew he couldn't argue with you on this, so he decided to keep an eye on you. After all if you went down then he couldn't become the greatest mage to ever live. That and he may or may not care about you. But he wouldn't tell you that. Gathering your things the two of you headed out to get to class, the chilly autumn air hitting you full force and making you shiver. Tugging your coat tighter around you and making sure Grimm was secured within said coat, you locked up Ramshackle and went to class.

~~~~~

Ace Trappola was not the most observant person in the world. He preferred to stay in his own business and not get into things that would make his life harder then it needed to be. Which was ironic given that he was friends with you and the others who just like him were magnets for trouble. However today while he was waiting for you and Grimm to show up with the others he quickly took notice that something was off about you when you had finally gotten to them. Your eyes were somewhat glassy and unfocused, your cheeks red and your breathing seemed whistley. Your hair was a mess somewhat almost as if you were too tired to bother with it and you kinda moved like a zombie. The red head was instantly alert, and it seemed like he wasn't the only one who noticed the changes in you as the rest of the group went quiet.

"(Y/N).....! Are you alright??? You look awful!"

Deuce said instantly concerned about you. Jack stared at you in an imitating mother like manner while Epel and Sebek just looked at you baffled and concerned.

"(Y/N) you're face is all red, are you alright?"

Epel asked already reaching out to touch your face to make sure you were alright.

"Human you look horrid!"

Sebek said in a shout, making you flinch at his tone. Jack moved closer and just like Epel touched your face.

"You're burning up."

He stated his amber eyes sharp. Epel let out a small gasp when he felt your cheeks as well.

"He's right! You're burning up! Why are you out here???"

Epel asked sounding like a scolding mother. It reminded Ace of Vil scarily enough. Reddish brown eyes met your (E/C) ones.

"You're sick. You should be laying down, not wandering around in the cold. Grimm why didn't you stop them?"

Ace asked annoyed somewhat. Grimm seemed to huff and was about to snap at Ace when you'd finally seemed to snap out of your sickly stupor and glare at the group annoyed.

"I'm here because I'm fine and Grimm is not my parent so he can't tell me what to do. Now if y'all are done crowding me and making so much noise then we should be heading to class. You know Professor Trein hates it when we're late."

You snapped somewhat. Your friends quickly backed off slightly startled by your irritation and your voice. You sounded like a choking frog due to coughing so much and your runny nose. Before any of them could stop you, you were already pushing your way through them to head to class. But as you went to move faster than you were, you quickly grew dizzy and began to stumble forward. You would have hit the ground if Deuce didn't step in and grab you.

"(Y/N)!"

Your friends called your name in surprise and concern. You felt like the world was spinning and your head was pounding harshly. You were so out of it that you didn't even notice that you were being picked up by Jack to had taken you from Deuce.

"That's enough you're going to the infirmary. Ace, Deuce go to Professor Trein and let him know that (Y/N) and Grimm won't be in class today due to being sick. Epel, Sebek go on ahead and let the nurse know that (Y/N) is coming to the infirmary. I'll be right behind you as soon as I got their things and them situated."

Jack said. He got various acknowledgements from each of them before they went off to go do what was asked of them. You weakly tried to push Jack away from you but obviously it didn't work. The wolf picked you up bridal style, your bag with your school on his shoulder. Grimm was slightly panicking, not used to things like this.

"Are they going to be okay??? They're......they're not dying right.....?"

Grimm asked, the question he'd asked you this morning becoming an actual concern. What if you were dying? Humans, especially magic less ones were quite fragile he'd come to learn while living with you. And the last thing he wanted was to lose you. You were his family if he was being completely honest. Jack gave Grimm a look, his ears flickering slightly.

"They'll be okay. They just have a cold. We just need to get them to the nurse so they can rest and get better."

He said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. Grimm seemed to take it and he sagged a bit in relief however he still glanced at you nervously. Jack began to make his way towards the infirmary, keeping a tight grip on you. You on the other hand just laid your head on his chest, coughing harshly and snuggling into him for warmth.

"You really are an idiot sometimes...."

Jack mumbled as he jogged towards the infirmary where you could hopefully get better.

~~~~~

The infirmary was filled with a few students when Epel and Sebek burst through the doors startling them. The nurse turned towards the disturbance, ready to chew someone out when she saw the two boys.

"Our friend....! They're really sick and we need help....!"

Epel wheezed trying to catch his breath. Sebek just nodded, ready to fight for a bed space should he have to. He wasn't above it, not when his friend was in need. The nurse was quick to respond.

"Alright I'll get a bed ready for them. You two go sit down and I'll bring you some water."

The nurse responded before hurrying off to do her tasks. It was only a few minutes later when Jack came in with you and Grimm. Epel and Sebek looked up to see if you were okay when the nurse came back in and quickly ushered the trio to one of the open beds.

"Lay them down here, and then go wait by the desk. I'll take a look at your friend."

She said shooing them out once you were placed on the bed. The three boys sat down slightly on edge by everything. While they maybe overeating somewhat they couldn't help it. You'd been sick for a good while and seeing you trip over your own feet due to a dizzy spell and hearing you literally hack up your lungs had not helped the situation at all. Shortly after they'd sat down to wait Ace and Deuce came into the infirmary, looking breathless like they'd ran all the way.

"Professor Trein says that (Y/N) and Grimm are excused. How are they?"

Deuce asked as he sat down next to Epel. Ace plopped down next to Sebek, running a hand through his messy reddish brown hair.

"We were just told to sit here and wait. The nurse is checking them over now."

Epel replied quietly as to not disturb the other students in the infirmary. Deuce nodded leaning back into his chair. The group of five sat there silently, catching their breath and waiting for the nurse. After what had felt like forever when in reality it was only a few minutes the nurse finally came back out.

"Well your friend has caught a nasty, nasty cold. I'm guessing that due to the autumn air, possibly stress from working so much and a few other things made them get sick. The best thing to do is to let them rest and take some cold medicine. Otherwise your friend is fine."

The nurse said with a smile. The boys sagged with relief glad it was nothing serious.

"We'll make sure they do."

Deuce said determined. The nurse smiled again before going to check on the other students in the infirmary. The group made a silent agreement then. They'd make sure that you got better and did as you were told until you finally became well again. You were their companion after all and you'd helped them out more times than they could count. The lest they could do was help you out as well.

~~~~~

When the boys had finally gotten you back to your dorm with the medicine the nurse gave to them, it was no surprise that the news of you being sick made its way around the school. You were pretty famous after all what with the Overblots and whatnot.

"Ahhh (Y/N) really is a reckless thing aren't they?"

Cater said, somewhat concerned. Trey gave a nod of agreement while Riddle silently fumed at your reckless behavior.

"It doesn't surprise me. (Y/N) is always working hard and never really took breaks. It's a miracle it took them this long to catch a cold."

Trey responded looking through his cookbook.

"Honestly, you'd think that the Prefect would know better. Great Seven they gave Ace and Deuce quite a scare."

Riddle said remembering how the duo had bursted into Professor Trein's classroom that morning and told him what had happened.

"Yeah they really did. But at least it's nice to know that they care about the Prefect under all their attitude."

Cater said with a smile. Trey smiled as well somewhat proud of the freshmen. Riddle just nodded in agreement.

"When they come back we should have them bring them some soup. Once I find the recipe we'll send a bowl of it with Ace and Deuce."

Trey said flipping through his cookbook some more. Riddle looked over his vice dorm leader's shoulder, looking slightly interested while Cater smiled a sudden beaming smile.

"I can take pictures of the soup and post them to my page. Plus I think (Y/N) will get a kick out of Riddle in the kitchen helping us out."

Cater teased. Riddle sputtered going slightly red in embarrassment while Trey silently laughed.

~~~~~

Rook watched as Vil looked at a few pieces of clothing, his amethyst hues staring at the clothing critically. The dorm leader was looking for a warm sweater that was about your size. After hearing that you'd gotten sick Vil had been rather quick in going into his famous mom mode as you'd dubbed it. The hunter made his way towards his companion, green eyes amused at how dedicated Vil was to finding you the perfect sweater.

"Any luck Roi du Poison?"

Rook asked curiously.

"Not really. I'm trying to figure out if this one will work best for (Y/N). The sweater they own is rather worn out, and it's getting colder. They really are mindless about these things, it's no wonder they'd gotten ill."

Vil said in a somewhat irritated manner. However Rook knew that under Vil's irritation was legitimate concern for you. You were always trying to help out everyone yet you always seemed to neglect yourself. So hearing that you'd gotten sick had made many of those who knew you personally grow concerned.

"Ah-ha. Found it."

Vil said grabbing a thick, fluffy sweater from the pile. It was a light lavender color and was somewhat big, with a soft kind of fluffy material. However Vil knew you'd like it given that you'd told him once that you liked oversized sweaters that were soft. Rook gave a nod of approval, a smile on his face.

"They'll love it Roi du Poison! We can send it with Monsieur Cherry Apple."

Rook said as he grabbed a nearby basket to put it in. Vil folded the sweater up with care and placed a jug of Epel's family's apple juice along with it.

"There. Hopefully this will help them feel better."

Vil said satisfied. Rook gave a small smile at the dorm leader and with that the two grabbed the basket and made their way to find Epel.

~~~~~

Ruggie had known Leona for a long time. So seeing the usually lazy lion putting so much effort into something. Especially for someone else. The dorm leader was putting together a fur blanket, that he was going to give to you to keep yourself warm during the night. After all Ramshackle wasn't the best place in the world and what with the chilly autumn nights it wouldn't help you with your cold. So here Leona was with Ruggie watching him in stunned amusement as he tried to make it look somewhat decent.

"Shishishi, who would have thought that you actually cared Leona."

Ruggie said chuckling in amusement. Leona shot him a nasty glare, his green eyes narrowed.

"I just don't want to hear the herbivores complain. It disturbs my naps."

He said stiffly, refusing to say anything more about the subject. Ruggie just snickered knowing that despite Leona's grouchy attitude, it was obvious that he cared about you......even if begrudgingly.

"Whatever you say Leona."

Ruggie said with a mischievous smile, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth. Leona's tail flicked in irritation before he went back to work, grumbling lowly under his breath.

'Stupid Prefect. This had better bring me some peace and quiet.'

~~~~~

Scarabia was a usually hectic place given that Kalim was the dorm leader but today......today the usually chipper teen was even more chaotic than usual. Rushing around the dorm kitchen, Kalim searched among the vast amounts of teas he'd required from people unable to find one specific one. As Kalim searched he didn't take notice of Jamil coming into the kitchen, the vice dorm leader's grey eyes going wide at the sight he saw.

"Kalim what the hell are you doing?"

Jamil asked startling the poor boy. Kalim about jumped out of his skin, ruby red eyes wide as he whirled around towards Jamil. The young man couldn't help but compare Kalim to a deer caught in headlights with his startled expression before the young heir grew sheepish.

"Ah Jamil I was looking for tea...."

Kalim said sounding a bit awkward. Jamil quirked an eyebrow, waiting for Kalim to finish.

"But it's this specific kind of tea. It's the kind you make me when I get sick, the one that helps soothe sore throats. But I can't find it anywhere!"

Kalim finished looking now frustrated by the end of his explanation. Jamil instantly knew what Kalim was asking for and quickly connected the dots when he realized that Kalim probably wanted to give you this tea. It had spread fast the news of you getting a nasty cold, so it wasn't a huge surprise that Kalim the sweet boy, wanted to help you.

"I know where it is. Clean up this mess and I'll be right back."

Jamil said before disappearing from the kitchen to get the tea. Kalim beamed happily and quickly started to clean up his mess, making sure that it was the way it was. By the time Jamil came back with one of the familiar containers full of the tea leaves Kalim about sprung himself onto the young teen.

"Thank you Jamil! You really are a life saver! Hopefully this will help (Y/N) get better!"

Kalim said happily hugging the flustered man.

"O-oi okay I get it-! Get off of me-! Kalim-!"

Jamil said flustered as his face grew red. Kalim just hugged him more, unaware that he was making Jamil go red. The dark haired man realized that Kalim wasn't going to let go so with a somewhat embarrassed look he accepted his fate.

'(Y/N) had better be grateful for this. The things I do....'

Jamil thought. And if his heart raced a tiny bit at Kalim's hug and happiness then that'd be his little secret.

~~~~~

"Eh Azul~ Whatcha doing?"

Floyd asked curious. Jade turned to look at the duo, also curious as to what Azul was doing. The octopus merman was making something, a bright colored liquid of sorts.

"Well if you must know I'm making something known as popsicles."

Azul answered not bothering to look up from his task. The twins exchanged a look, curiosity growing.

"Oh? And why are you making popsicles? Is it a new food item for the lounge?"

Jade asked, a sharp smile on his face.

"More like an experiment of sorts. I'm going to send them to random people to have them taste test."

Azul responded. Floyd suddenly smiled widely looking much like a predator.

"Oh~? So you're making them for Shrimp-Chan?"

Floyd said in a sing song tone. Azul froze and shot Floyd an annoyed look while Jade laughed silently at Azul's expression.

"Oh my, this is a surprise. Making a treat for (Y/N) because they're sick? That's awfully kind of you."

Jade said teasingly. Floyd let out a laugh while Azul huffed.

"Well I am a kind soul.....besides.....if these turn out right......"

Azul said a gleam in his eyes as his glasses flashed.

"Then I can make a profit off of them."

Azul said smiling a little smile. The twins smiled widely, amused by Azul's mindset.

"Ah Azul only you~"

Floyd said as Jade nodded in agreement. The trio continued to talk to one another as Azul made the popsicles, the unsaid affection that they shared for you unsaid. Besides there was nothing wrong with making a possible business move while helping someone else.

~~~~~

Idia stared at his manga collection, eyeing each one closely. He wanted to make sure he picked out a good series for you to read while you were recovering. Something simple that didn't require too much energy to pay attention to. Yet old enough that Idia wouldn't mind if something happened to the book, not that he couldn't replace it plus you much like him cared deeply for manga. So he had no problems letting you borrow them, knowing that you'd take good care of them. Ortho sat on his older brother's bed, holding a stuffed toy that he was planning to give to you to help you feel better.

"Ah w-what about this one?"

Idia asked softly showing Ortho the book. The young boy looked at it critically, golden hues focused on it.

"Hhhh I think they'd like it! It's got good reviews online and it's a simple story, I'm sure that (Y/N) would appreciate it!"

Ortho said in a chipper tone. Idia smiled a crooked smile and gathered the first few volumes of the series to send to you. Ortho placed the stuffed toy, a three headed dog plushie next to the books looking proud of himself.

"H-hopefully this will help them...."

~~~~~

Lilia Vanrouge had lived a long time. And because he lived a long time he had learned quite a bit of knowledge on humans and human illnesses. Especially since he had two sons who were human, (granted one of them was half human but still) and got sick quite often as children. Which is why he was now currently giving advice to Malleus to help him out with trying to help you in your recovery from your illness. The dragon fae was absorbing as much as he could about human illnesses, thinking about what he could do to help you. Silver was laying on the dormitory couch, already having figured out what he would send to you. A comfy pillow for you to sleep on so you could rest. Lilia watched as Malleus got lost in thought, thinking carefully.

"The children of men are so fragile......it makes it rather difficult to figure out what to get them especially when they're sick."

Malleus said softly, expression somewhat troubled. Lilia gave Malleus a small fatherly look and patted his arm.

"You'll figure something out Malleus. (Y/N) will love whatever you give them, that much I'm sure of."

Lilia said with a smile. Malleus just nodded his head before getting up to think about this more. Silver watched as his companion left before turning his amethyst eyes towards his father.

"Do you think he'll really be able to find something old man?"

Silver asked curious. Lilia gave a small knowing smile.

"I'm sure of it. Now let's get our things together to send to the wee beastie. I've got a CD to help them sleep."

Lilia said cheerfully, holding up a copy of the music him and the music club made. Silver shook his head looking unsure.

"I don't think heavy metal will help them sleep."

~~~~~

Ramshackle dorm was dark and quiet when you'd finally woken up from your sick induced sleep. Blinking in a sick way you looked around the room and you were startled to see your friends fast asleep around you. Ace, Sebek and Jack were sleeping on the ground, snoring softly. Epel and Deuce were sleeping up against the couch, snuggled rather closely. Grimm was sleeping on your pillow, snuggled close to you. Even though you were in a sick haze you couldn't help but smile at the scene.

'Good for you Deuce.'

You thought hazy like before you took notice of all the things in your room. Different types of objects and other knickknacks that weren't there before now sat in your room. Confused by all of it you shakily got out of bed to take a look and sucked in a wheezy breath.

Gifts. They were get well gifts.

From all of your friends.

You felt your eyes sting as you were overwhelmed with the sudden affection you felt for your friends from different dorms. They had put in all this effort to help make you feel better and it lowkey made you wanna hunt them all down and smother them with hugs. But unfortunately it would have to wait until you were better. Deciding to save the deep looking through for the morning you looked towards your band of boys and smiled affectionately at their sleeping forms. It warmed your heart to know that your friends cared for you. You made a mental note to figure out a way to make it up to them with all the trouble you may have caused. You were about to go to bed when the familiar sight of fireflies in the Ramshackle graveyard caught your attention.

"Tsunotarou....."

You crocked not really thinking about it as you shakily made your way towards the outside. Later you'd probably regret it but you wanted to see your friend. Wrapping your blanket tightly around your shoulders you made your way outside shivering from the cold. Shivering you made your way to the graveyard and finally caught sight of him.

"Tsunotarou.....what's up....?"

You said voice cracking slightly from your sore throat. Malleus turned towards the sound of your sickly voice, green eyes filled with concern.

"Child of man.....you should be asleep and resting....."

Malleus said his tone soft and worried. You gave him a small smile and sat down next to him, curling close to him to keep warm. The fae prince wrapped his cape around you as soon as you sat down to try and keep you warm.

"I wanted to see you......"

You mumbled shyly, your mouth filter off due to being sick. Malleus went slightly red, looking away from your honesty. You couldn't help but smile at how he was acting before you noticed him reaching for something.

"I'd gotten you a get well gift.....it's not much but I hope it helps."

Malleus said softly before handing you a wrapped package. Curious you opened it and stared at it in shock. Inside was a somewhat awkward looking scarf and hat. It was obvious that it was handmade by the way it was switched together, some of the lines awkward and messy.

"I heard that humans get cold easily so I had decided that perhaps these would help keep you warm. I apologize for the presentation. I am not well versed in making things the human way."

Malleus said looking somewhat embarrassed by his gift. You on the other hand were touched. Feeling your eyes sting again you wiped at them, sniffling due to them and your stuffy nose. Malleus instantly grew concerned thinking he'd done something to upset you when he was met with a smile.

"I love it.....thank you so much Malleus, I can't wait to wear them back to school."

You said in your stuffy voice. Malleus gave you a warm look before helping you up.

"I'm glad you like it (Y/N)......let's get you back to bed. You need to rest and recover."

The tall man said softly. You gave a sleepy nod leaning into him as he transported the two of you back to your room. Helping you into bed, you felt yourself relax and start to drift. Malleus threw the blanket on you making sure you were covered.

"Goodnight beastie. Get well soon."

Malleus's soft voice whispered before a gentle sensation touched your forehead.

'If I didn't know any better......I'd say he just kissed my forehead......'

You thought in a giddy sick daze before finally drifting off to sleep surrounded by your loved ones.

*Ah I didn't mean for this to be so long I just wanted to write some self indulgence. I've caught a nasty cold a few days ago and I've been feeling like shit so I decided to write something to make me feel better I honestly didn't mean to make it so long shdhdhdhfh. Also I may have added some ships. Anyways if any y'all read this I hope you enjoyed it!!!*

[inventors-fair]

Class Acts* - Occupational Hazards Runners Up

~ A hearty and soulful golf clap for our runners up this week: @askkrenko, @helloijustreadyourpost, and @misterstingyjack!

Spellshaper Class - @askkrenko

You brought up the possibility of combining this with extra turn spells in your submission text, so I don't think I need to tell you that this card is Very Strong, probably a bit broken honestly, both for your stated reason and because this is absolutely above rate for a slightly less flicker-able Archaeomancer with additional upside. But I do think I need to tell you that this card is absolutely delightful and everything about it makes me want to ignore the red flags and fully embrace it because This Card Just Gets It.

You have taken a creature type that is very firmly seated within the confines of Magic and you've found a way to represent it mechanically and flavorfully that fits that type to a T. This class, I think, singlehandedly does the best job of saying "Hey, guess what, You Are Now This Job", not even just in this contest, but moreso than any printed example of the card type. The first ability teaches you a spell, and the final ability lets you cast that spell whenever you please for the low low price of one card in hand, because guess what? You Are A Spellshaper Now! Congratulations. You have taken this prompt and given me exactly what I was looking for, and I absolutely need to commend you for that, even though some numbers likely need to change, and there’s some real rude potential combos you can assemble with this thing that might want ironing out. All that aside, absolutely stellar work.

Ghoulcaller Class - @helloijustreadyourpost

It took me far longer than I’d like to admit to realize that that second ability happened on each of your upkeeps, rather than Just Once, so I’m kind of winging this commentary right now because that one tiny change does a good deal to address the main issue I had with this class. But let’s rewind for a second and talk about the card first. You start off by filling your graveyard a bit, maybe you rescue something because you’re kind of okay at necromancy. Then, you hit level two, become better at necromancy, and you start amassing a Zombie horde. Finally, once you’ve mastered the art of necromancy, you get to summon One (Hopefully) Big Thing. Reasonably simple card, very simple story, not much to write home about there, although I do quite enjoy how much this card encourages you to pick wisely when exactly you make that third level happen, rather than just being an absurd mana-sink or a Thing You Absolutely Must Play Right Now. Feels nice and strategic.

All that said, this card does not come without nits I feel I must pick. To start, the tension between the second ability and the other two is potentially a bit awkward, I feel, as three-card-mills can frequently have trouble finding you more than one creature even in the most creature-laden of decks, and exiling potential reanimation targets to amass your Zombie army could feel pretty bad, although this is alleviated somewhat by the third level allowing you to steal bodies of significance from your opponents’ graveyards. Speaking further about that level three, I know I’ve praised it a decent amount, but it’s actually one of the largest sticking points I have with this design. To be blunt, Ghoulcallers don’t generally make Large Zombies, which is probably what you want to do with that last ability. Ghoulcallers have pretty well established that their niche is going wide with a full board of small Zombies. I think I would have found this card just that slightest bit less dissonant if that final ability did something to encourage you to go wide with a lot of Zombies, rather than the somewhat awkward hodge-podge of small Zombies and Single Large Zombie you’re encouraging right now. All that said, the card as it exists is perfectly serviceable, and most of my criticisms are being delivered via The Worlds Smallest Violin, so accept or ignore them at your discretion.

Detective Class - @misterstingyjack

J'accuse! I'm going to start by saying that I love this card very dearly, because I am going to kind of tear it to shreds in a second here but I want you to know that that all comes from a place of love. So let's gush for a second. Absolutely love this sort of representation of Solving A Murder Mystery, where you slowly build up evidence until you have enough to start sending people to jail. It's powerful and immensely flavorful and it does a really good job of telling a story, which I think is something Class cards are uniquely positioned to do, so excellent work on that front.

Now on to the shredding. As much as I love this, and as much as I want to shower it with nothing but praise because it does such a good job of representing Detectives and What They Do, I do need to come down on it because this is just not quite how Magic handles detectives. Does that make any sense? You've built a very resonant thing, but it resonates with frequencies outside of Magic's bandwidth. Most printed Detectives (all two of them, really) feel more comical, hard-boiled-noir-man-smoking-a-cigar-in-his-office-one-week-from-retirement sort of detectives, rather than the more stern and law-abiding Conan Doyle/Agatha Christie niche this feels like it occupies. I do wonder how much of that discrepancy would be addressed by simply changing the card from white to black. Everything this card does mechanically fits in that slice of the color pie, too, and it'd line up better with the extant Private Investigator-type cards, which generally all seem to be blue and/or black. Certainly something to contemplate. Regardless, excellently executed card, the vibes are just very slightly off of what I was looking for this week.

~

And thus, our runners have been upped. Join me once again, later, but soon, possibly tonight(?!), for General Commentary. I make no guarantees I’ll have it all nice and presentable by the end of Saturday but I will try my hardest to make it happen. Until then, have a lovely day. Tschüss! - @starch255 

*It’s been nearly two years, I hope I can use this pun again

[catncore]

being so close to the 'source' put him in a unique position to see the 'dolls' up close. they were distortions of her own making- manifestations of akemi homura herself, he guesses based on their make up but he doesn't know for certain. they are new abjurations to him and worth studying with time. he wonders if they only exist so close to the newly stated in goddess, or if they are spread out across the universe to do her will.

he does his best ( for the time ) to ignore the doll that has wandered near him clumsily with it's apple; but it's movements were erratic and he finds himself staring as it drops the item. the closer to him it gets, like a cat, the hair on his arms and neck stands on end with unease. he does his best to not let this betray his expression. if he showed discomfort then there was no telling where this conversation would go. he was glad his wings were not visible currently. he'd keep them pressed down as far as he could unless necessary.

he wasn't scared of homura. it was much worse. he was scared for her. there was so much uncertainty in the world now and there was no dictating the path forward. even with all this power, she was still a teenage girl. she was still growing up even if she had the power of the universe and it's chaos at her finger tips.

❝  s' right. jus'a conversation. ❞ he says, turning his attention back to the goddess; lifting his stubbled chin up slightly as he put his hands into his pockets to keep from fidgeting. ❝  do i have yer permission t' speak freely? ❞ he doesn't quite understand why he needs to ask this. the words left his mouth before he could even think about them. every other time they'd spoken he'd felt comfortable to speak his mind but there was new circumstances in front of them both.

was her authority so great now that it was over the higher planes now? higher than the almighty that ruled the angels? that.... changed things. the realization of it made him avoid looking at her outright, instead focusing his eyes to her right, against his own will.

he opens his mouth to attempt to say something else but no sound leaves him; uncertain if he is allowed to speak or not. instead he puts focus into what exactly he wants to ask her. the conversation that at heart needed to be had.

he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his slacks pocket and pulled one of the tobacco sticks out to light with his flick lighter; cupping the flame while he got the end started with a slow drag. he'd given up smoking for awhile but with everything changing, the angel figured he should put less stress on himself. he uses this time to focus on just what he wanted to say when he got her blessing to continue.

when he looked at the readily avalible information as to what reordered the universe; rewriting it to the standard it currently was, hanekoma was horrified to find himself sympathetic to her. if he had been in her position with his chosen people so close to his fingertips; he just might (would) have done the same thing. he'd break space if it meant protecting what was his.

for shibuya.... for his composer, he'd do anything. akemi homura created a situation where that was possible for her under her unprecedented conditions under incubator supervision as their little test subject. hanekoma almost found it laughable something hadn't happened before then. that she hadn't done worse.

he wasn't surprised when he saw everything laid out with the data. humans in grief do extreme things. the same could be said for people in love. that was something they had in common, he supposes. he might have done worse if he had been where she stood.

Homura thought her dolls weren't present, but she should have been more careful. Manuke came forward with a little skip in her step. She's smiling, ready to offer an apple to the barista. Homura did not ask her to bring an apple, but it looks like Manuke wanted to come here all by herself. She always spoke of that radiant goddess to the other dolls, but they never cared about the foolish stories that Stupidity wanted to share. Homura assumed that Manuke wished to happily greet the man with a gift. Almost as if offering something nice and shiny is some kind of flawless method to make friends.

Manuke clumsily trips over herself before she could reach the man. Homura makes no move to help the doll back to her feet, but she does not even acknowledge the doll's presence. The apple lands, rolling a little bit away from the fallen doll. Manuke's smile remains on her face as she does not realize that the apple received a small bruise from the fall. Manuke's simple plan unravels itself once she rose back to her feet. Forgetting about her plan, the brunette lightly kicks the apple as if the fruit was actually a ball. She fades into the distance, giggling to herself.

She is true to her name, but it looks like she's still having fun.

❝  I... I suppose you're correct.  ❞         She did not mean to throw such a question like that at him. But her mind spirals downward at the mere thought of having to grant his wish. She knew she would need to get used to granting wishes, but she couldn't help herself for being nervous. She never thought she would come as far as she has done. Worrying about wishes is brand new territory for her.

All she knew how to do was fight.

Part of Homura wants to apologize for the fake child's mere presence, but she holds her tongue. She is glad that it was only Manuke that chose to pop up. Having multiple of her dolls in one area always leads to some kind of headache. They obey her orders, but they were just as hyperactive as regular children when they do not have any orders to keep them preoccupied. The lizard-shaped ear cuff attached to her left ear will quietly alert her of any reports from her servants, including the dolls. She always prepares herself to hear the lizard's whispered words.

The lizard delivered to her the vague message from a soaring bird. The deformed raven, Liese, cawed that a visitor will be arriving soon. What made her worry is that the former duty of each and every Liese minion was to deliver bad news. Did her familiars still carry out their original purposes? Dwelling too long on such topics always proved to form a lump in her throat. Thinking of familiars harkened her back to when she was trapped within her own labyrinth.

Her labyrinth looked like a dream. Being trapped within a happy dream didn't sound... bad. They did not have to worry about the unpredictable horrors of Witches or the hungry Wraiths. Their enemies were not as awful. Their enemies were the Nightmares. Each Nightmare was originally a dreamer's unpleasant dreams coming to life as their threat.

Defeating the Nightmares helped to bring ease to the sleeping dreamer until their bad dreams turned to pleasant. The city repaired itself of its damages after each battle was over, but none of them cared to dwell. They were too busy basking in the beauty of another shared victory while morning light shimmered over their shining soul gems. Everything in her labyrinth felt so right and perfect. But then everything came crumbling down once she began to investigate. Kyubey began to speak to her after she discovered who the witch really turned out to be.

Then he showed her the way his kind pierced her soul gem with these... sharp-looking devices. He said that she was an experiment that they planned to study for as long as they want. The sight of her mutilated soul gem remains forever scorched into her mind. Seeing all of those emotionless eyes monitor her shell of a body is creepy, but seeing what they did to her soul left her feeling sick to her stomach. It was already a difficult pill for her to swallow when she saw how dark her soul looked while it was within Kyubey's grasp... But to see all of those sharp nails mutilate her already murky soul gem made her taste bile on her tongue.

All of those Incubators wanted to do is study her after keeping her very soul suspended in so much despair and pain. A soul gem was not supposed to be poked with sharp objects, but they made it possible. The rest of the girls defeated her witch, but Homura refused to be spirited away by the Law of Cycles. She is the witness of Kyubey's true plans. So, Homura took control of the situation with her own hands. But now? She is drifting through her days with tired eyes and a heavy heart.

She has tried to craft the universe as carefully as she could without disturbing anyone. After all, she did truly long for the warm dream that she once lived within when she was inside her labyrinth. But she is only one person at the end of the day. Cosmic power to rewrite the universe proved to be massive upon her tired shoulders. But she tells herself she must keep moving forward. Even thinking about her familiars brought back unpleasant memories of what she witnessed when her slumbering body and corrupted soul were within the clutches of Kyubey's race.

❝  All you want to do is talk?  ❞         Relief should have came to her side then, but her dread remains. Part of her is glad that Hanekoma did not confess his wish. To hear that all he wanted to do was talk, however, did not erase her uneasiness. She didn't know what to expect from him. The last time that she had a conversation with someone who knew what she has done ended as poorly as she predicted.

Sayaka Miki believed her when she claimed that she might end up destroying the world one day. The girl, draped in her justice, found a new villain to aim her sword at. Sayaka did not understand her point of view. Part of her wants Sayaka to lap up every word that she said because she must hold everyone at a distance. But another part of her wished that Sayaka actually understood why she committed her horrendous-looking deed. Sayaka did not witness what she witnessed, though.

❝  Of course... We can talk then, if that's what you really want to do.  ❞         Perhaps she is worried over what he must want to say to her. Did he come here to condemn her decisions? Insist that she step down and return what she stole? Not knowing his next move makes her dig her fingernails deep into the palms of her skin.

Old habits are hard to quit.

[sparks-joy-imagines]

Hi! Could I request some hcs or a one shot (whichever you prefer!) where Gojo finds out reader has never orgasmed with a partner before because her previous partners were kind of asses. Thank you either way! Have a lovely day! :)

hello love~ I figured I might as well turn this into a one shot because there had been just so~ many ideas floating around my head for this (including a few Japan traumata lol) - I hope you're ready to buckle up cause this one comes in at 5k appr. enjoy -mesu. PS: A very special thanks to niob for beta-ing this monster and talking me through it!!!❤

Gojō Satoru x f!reader warnings: vaginal penetration, oral sex (receiving), Gojō being a smug arse

You cursed the day you were born. Actually, no. You cursed the day Gojo Satoru was born to torment your existence.

The first time you had met Gojo it had been your first year teaching at Kyoto jujutsu high and your first impression had been that no single living being could withstand his gaze of scrutiny. Given, as the wielder of both infinity and the six eyes there wasn’t anyone on his level to begin with, but did he really have to be an arse about it? Who even hired him as a teacher – a person supposed to be of pedagogic value – in the first place?

Luckily, you didn’t have to see him all that often, usually just whenever the time of year came around for the good-will event with the sister school in Tokyo but he had picked up an unhealthy interest in your person and relentlessly teased you for whatever you did and didn’t do alike.

Utahime had once suggested that it was Gojo’s twisted way of flirting with you and you couldn’t help but scoff and reply that you had seen Gojo flirting. And it was nothing alike how he was acting towards you. Afterwards, Utahime had taken pity on you and acted as an intermittence between you and Gojo so he wouldn’t get under your skin anymore, albeit he mostly ended up getting under hers instead.

At least, that was until tonight. With the students being sound asleep in bed, everyone involved in the event unanimously had decided to head for a drink at a fancy bar in Ginza to celebrate the event ending more or less successfully despite the unforeseen interference of some higher ranked curses and you ended up sitting sandwiched between Utahime and Shoko who both had insisted on a girl’s table away from curious colleagues and ears, while the other staff were seated at a slightly larger table just out of earshot.

The back of your head hit your nape when you downed what felt like the 7th shot of nihonshu. The alcohol prior to the shots had already infiltrated your system, leaving your senses foggy and your tongue loose. You weren’t about to spill your secrets just yet, but it was definitely getting harder to suppress the glances you’d love to gift Gojo who seemed entirely unfazed by any of the liquor he had consumed this evening.

That prick has to use his innate techniques to cope with the alcohol!

You narrowed your eyes, glaring at the tall man across the table who hadn’t even bothered to take his blindfold off while sporting a vaguely amused if aloof expression while the headmaster of Kyoto high and Tokyo high appeared to be in a heated discussion. Speaking of rude.

Lost in your thought of how much you longed to wipe that smirk off of Gojo’s face, you didn’t follow the topic of conversation of your friends at the table who definitely had one nihonshu too many.

“I’m telling you, anatomically speaking, it’s just unfair. It’s so much easier for men to achieve an orgasm, alright? It’s as if nature was against us women,” Shoko sighed dramatically, taking the nihonshu bottle to refill the shot glasses only to find it empty. Another, this time desperate, sigh followed.

“What’s even worse is that men usually don’t care about their partner's pleasure at allll,” Utahime responded with a distinct lull in her voice while she was already close to resting her cheek on the table. She’s definitely had enough but that didn’t stop her from going on, “Ever since I started dating, there’s been what? Maybe two decent enough guys that actually cared if I came too or not.”

“Sounds about right,” Shoko agreed, apparently trying to find some universal truth in the emptiness of the bottle she was still holding onto.

You shot a glance to the two unhappy women at your side, deciding that it was time to share your two cents of truth under your breath, “At least you’ve had partners before who took care of your needs, too. I for once have only been with arseholes who could care less if I came or not. And so I never did… so…consider yourselves lucky? I guess.”

As expected, your volume made it impossible for them to catch what you were revealing and Utahime unbeknownst interrupted the aftermath to your soft confession by suddenly straightening her posture in a surge of drunken energy, grabbing one of your and Shoko’s hands respectively to declare something about not letting this circumstance prevent anyone from having a great night.

You could’ve sworn the corner of Gojo’s mouth perked up the second you shot him another glance…

A few drinks, a second bar, and a couple hours later.

Your head was spinning slightly and you leaned your back against the wall of the establishment you’d just stepped out of. Damn your senpai for making you drink. You soaked in the wet, clean night air which could only be achieved during the rainy season in Tokyo.

The moment you pressed your eyes shut you could hear Utahime demanding to move onto a karaoke bar and continue this until morning. Of fucking course, you thought to yourself and opened your eyes, desperate for any excuse to skip what was about to come.

Among general consensus with a few nods and exclamations here and there, you slowly noticed how Gojo was watching you intently. By now he had actually gotten rid of his blindfold and was sporting his dark shades, his soft hair was framing his angular face, slightly damp by the drizzle and you would have gladly punched him for the way the street lights and shop signs reflected in his hair.

Still, right now you had other things to worry about and so you took a deep breath and spoke up, “Thanks for this evening but I’ll have to take my leave now. It’s already late and I don’t think my voice can handle singing right now.” An obvious lie as your voice was just fine, but it’d do the trick of getting you out of corporate pressure.

And that’s exactly what happened. Your excuse was accepted at face value and you were wished a good night’s rest. Umbrellas were opened and the group made of two faculties strolled towards the closet illuminated Karaoke sign.

You waited until everyone was on the move, so you could gather yourself in your time without any scrutinising eyes on you.

“Leaving an intoxicated damsel to her own devices? How could I be the strongest without taking care of her? Allow me to lead you home, (Y/N)~”

Just when you thought you had lived through the worst, Gojo’s voice piped up right next to your ear. You hadn’t seen him stay behind and now he was close, dangerously so, and he didn’t even care to hide the glee in his voice.

You managed to turn your head in his direction and gift him – what was in your imagination – a nasty stare. For Gojo, it rather seemed like you were trying your best to fixate your dizzy gaze on him.

He sighed and for once dropped his excruciating façade, speaking in a normal tone, “Seriously tough, (Y/N), I’d rather lead you home. Tokyo’s far from being safe at night.”

Seeing and actually hearing Gojo apparently genuinely concerned made you weigh your chances enough that you finally sighed in defeat, “Fine. But only up to the doorstep.”

Gojo blinked at you repeatedly, appearing almost insulted that you dared to think him a man who would take advantage of women like that – truth being that he was more insulted that you thought that he was actually in need of such tricks – and made an off-hand remark of how he could never.

You waved your hand dismissively and slowly tried to straighten your posture, “You’re here by car, right? That’s why you used your innate technique to not get drunk. Wish I could’ve done the same, wouldn’t be dying of spinning world syndrome right now.”

That stopped Gojo’s rant about his hurt pride. A sheepish smirk appeared on his lips and he stated flatly, “You noticed.”

You nodded, which turned out to have been a terrible idea. Nausea overcame you and you tried to curl into a ball, but Gojo was next to you in a second, smoothly wrapping his long arm around your waist while his free hand reached for your hand, easily securing your stance like that.

“Let’s get you home, shall we?”

You nodded and simply concentrated on not getting sick while he led you towards the parking lot where his car was parked. He left you shortly to pay for the ticket and you leaned against one of the nearby vending machines, concentrating on your breathing.

A few moments later the relatively quiet night was disturbed by the low roar of what turned out to be a pricey sports car. It didn’t take long for Gojo to stop said car right in front of you. Ever the gentleman he stepped out of the driver’s seat and opened the door to the passenger’s side for you, offering his hand to you for assistance. The entire picture which enfolded in front of you seemed to be taken out of a romance.

Only when you wobbled over to the car and felt the infinity between your hand and Gojo’s you snapped back to reality, pursing your lips as you stated, “You never let anyone actually touch you, do you?”

“If someone’s worth my while, sure I do,” Gojo replied with a sly smile, but something in his eyes appeared resigned, almost lost. But maybe that was just your imagination? Almost promising.

You didn’t even have time to follow-up on his statement as he simply shut the door in your face, cutting any further discussion short. Soon, Gojo settled in the driver’s seat and drove off towards your hotel. You didn’t even question how he knew where he needed to go.

Silence fell upon you and you simply turned your gaze to the flashing street lights, allowing you to marvel at Tokyo’s nocturnal atmosphere for a while. This was so much better than making your way through the confusing public transport in time for the last train. You shot Gojo another gaze and were surprised to find him diligently keeping his eyes on the road.

At once you wondered if you unwittingly had been keeping him from joining the others at karaoke. Singing one’s soul out and getting undressed in the process seemed right up Gojo’s alley.

“…Thank you for taking me back to the hotel. I appreciate it. You… didn’t really have to do this though, I’m sure you wanted to attend karaoke with the others,” you started off your half-apology.

A soft yet deep chuckle escaped Gojo’s throat.

“Oh sure I did, hun. There’s been something on my mind concerning you which is just soooo much more fun than karaoke could ever be after all,” Gojo casually replied, eyes never straying from the road.

You frowned and cocked your head in an inquisitive manner.

“Don’t act confused now, love,” Gojo smirked as he pulled over and parked the car right next to the entrance of the hotel. He unfastened his seatbelt to turn to you completely and casually rested his elbow against his seat, “Now, why don’t you tell me about never having orgasmed with a partner before?”

The question hung in the air for a moment as Gojo watched you curiously while you didn’t believe the meaning behind what your ears had picked up on.

“I…,” you spilled quickly, already feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. This had to be a nightmare. How did he know of that? You never told a soul, too embarrassed by your unfortunate choice of past sexual partners, and now Gojo Satoru – out of all possible people – knew of your secret?!

The panic must have shown on your face as Gojo’s smug expression softened slightly and he leaned closer to you, only stopping when the tip of his nose almost collided with yours, “You should take more care who might be listening in when you’re talking to yourself, (Y/N).”

You nodded once and leaned back, avoiding Gojo’s touch and gaze as best you could, “T-thanks for the ride.” Even if his revelation had thrown you off entirely, you tried your best to hide it.

“My pleasure. I’ll have to insist on taking you to your room though.” Gojo’s tone was unforgiving and made it very clear that you wouldn’t get out of him walking you all the way.

You sighed deeply and submitted to your fate, sinking into your seat until he had rounded the car and opened the passenger’s door so you could accept his hand to disembark in a semi-elegant manner.

Once you had found your balance he let go of your hand, matching your pace as you walked towards your room, acting as if he hadn’t just nonchalantly invaded your privacy. You shot him several glances but Gojo acted very interested in the interior of the hotel. You didn’t buy it though. Obviously he was just relishing in the fact that he got under your skin.

So he didn’t want to push any further? Fine by you. You huffed softly and pushed the button for your floor once you boarded the lift, Gojo strolling on your heels, hands shoved into the pocket of his trousers.

You refrained from looking at anything close to Gojo’s direction, albeit you could feel his piercing gaze on you. You used the time of the short ride to get your room card out of your purse and as soon as the automatic doors opened, you darted out of the lift and unlocked the door to your room with a soft beep.

Barely having shuffled inside you got rid of your purse and turned around to thank Gojo once again, finding him right on your doorstep.

“Thanks, Gojo, I appreciate what you did tonight,” you smiled awkwardly at the close proximity and mustered the courage to look into his eyes, just to be surprised by their intensity.

“Of course,” Gojo hummed, resting his left arm on the doorframe he leaned closer, stopping right before crossing the threshold with his movements. He easily kept your eyes locked in his, making you all but forget about bringing some distance between you.

“Before I leave… y’know I could help you out with your little problem, (Y/N). If you’re up for it, that is.”

Gojo’s voice was low, eyes dark, pupils dilated with a certain hunger as they stared right into your soul.

When his words registered a soft gasp unwittingly left your lips as your eyes grew wide.

Just what was happening? Had Utahime been right all along?

The next moment Gojo was leaning down to you, making all but sure that your senses shut down to a bare minimum. Standing there frozen in place, time seemed to slow down around you as your eyes flickered from Gojo’s luscious lips to his cyan eyes and back to his lips again.

Was this really happening right now?

Your heart pounded against your chest harshly and you pressed your eyes shut to calm your nerves. That is when you felt his soft lips against the skin of your cheek, undoubtedly skin on skin. He‘d really turned his infinity off!

“As I have told you prior, I don’t take advantage of intoxicated women. But as I understand it, you still have a couple hours before your bullet train back to Kyoto tomorrow. I’ll be waiting for you, (Y/N). You won’t regret it. . .~”

You held your breath and nothing. When you finally opened your eyes again Gojo was gone. Simply vanished! He had done exactly what he had promised to do. Taken you home, up to your doorstep and not a millimetre further.

Did this mean that he was going to keep what he offered if you turned up at his doorstep tomorrow? Up until now Gojo had never given you any reason to doubt him. Sure, he was a prick, but he was honest about being a prick. At least that was more than could be said about any of your former affiliations.

It took a couple more moments before you managed to close the door and turn in to a sleepless night contemplating if you might as well take Gojo up on his offer.

The next day. After some empty excuses to Utahime of why you couldn’t spend the last hours in Tokyo together. In front of Gojo’s apartment.

You stared at the kanji at the apartment, contemplating if you should really proceed now. It had been a pain to get Gojo’s address, dodging several inquisitive questions of Utahime, but now that you were finally here you weren’t sure if you should be anymore.

Given Gojo had lived up to every single thing he had proclaimed so far, plus he never had given you any reason not to trust him. Still, did being here meant that you were willing to compromise your integrity for something as trivial as good sex? More so than the actual act, you were afraid of what it might mean for your future relationship with Gojo; which would be anything but professional hereafter.

Before you could spiral further into second guessing yourself, the apartment door in front of you opened smoothly, offering the view to a slightly dishevelled looking Gojo apparently just out of the shower.

The moment you locked eyes with his bare ocean orbs, a smug grin emerged on his face, “Fancy seeing you here, (Y/N). Come in.”

You mumbled a greeting and stepped into his modern apartment, quickly getting rid of your shoes and outer layers while Gojo walked further back into the flat calling out to you, “Can I offer you something to drink? Tea? Coffee? Pineapple juice?~”

You rolled your eyes, very convinced that you just shouldn’t have come here. You followed Gojo’s voice into a broad living room with an open kitchen. The colours and décor were kept simple, black and white, sometimes a splash of colour in the colour of his goddamn eyes.

After having accessed the surroundings to your heart’s content you turned to Gojo, “Do you happen to have pineapple juice – notoriously known for apparently for making the taste of oral sex sweeter – at hand for your guests at all times? Or did you go shopping for me yesterday?”

A soft chuckle, “I happen to like the flavour. Plus, I am quite certain your juices aren’t in need of any enhancement.” A wink followed. What a bastard.

Ignoring the faint blush that emerged on your cheeks, you countered, “And what exactly makes you so sure about that, mh?”

Gojo shortly nibbled on his full lips as he sized you up with hungry eyes. Then, he slowly rounded the kitchen counter until he stood right in front of you. The smell of his surprisingly fruity after-shave intoxicated your senses.

“Wanna find out?”

You managed a nod and Gojo smirked wider, simply lifting you up on the counter so you were closer to eye level with him.

And then he finally let his soft luscious lips collide with yours, involving you in a breathless, inifity-less kiss while your arms wrapped around his neck on their own accord. Gojo smirked against your lips pulling you closer to himself, gladly taking the opportunity to feel up through the fabric of the blouse you were wearing for travel.

How you cursed the school’s clothing protocol at that moment!

Frowning slightly you broke the kiss, quickly trying to get rid of your blouse with your hands, but Gojo had other plans, catching your hands in his he leaned closer and purred on your lips, “Ah-ah (Y/N), there’s still plenty of time till your bullet train. No need to rush~ This is more than a mere quicky to shoot one’s load and carry on, after all. I need you to relax and enjoy the ride.”

You weren’t quite sure what did the trick. The proximity to him or his genuine tone, but you visibly relaxed and started shamelessly feeling Gojo up in return. You weren’t surprised to find defined abs when you pushed the fabric of his shirt out of the way and followed their lines for a bit before you moved on to explore his back.

“Good girl,” Gojo chuckled in your ear and let out a teasing gasp in response to your initiative before he went to nibble on your earlobe, making you cross your legs behind his hips as a soft whimper escaped your lips.

“Sensitive, are we?”

Gojo moved back, capturing your lips in another kiss, this time parting yours with his cheeky tongue so he could explore your mouth to his heart’s content. You happily complied and concentrated on his tongue enough that you didn’t notice how he skilfully unbuttoned your blouse.

Your legs tightened around Gojo’s hips and you moaned when you felt his growing bulge through the fabric. Gojo took this opportunity to kiss down your neck only to ravish it mercilessly while his hands had taken a liking to your boobs, kneading them through your lacey bra.

“Hah~” More and more lewd noises filled the heated air as Gojo pinched your hardened nipples just the right amount to send shivers down your spine and you were glad that you didn’t have to depend on your trembling legs anymore.

Desperate for support you scratched blindly over Gojo’s upper arms which led him to gift you a wolfish smile as he pulled back enough to strip off your blouse and a swift motion later your bra followed.

Pouting slightly you picked on his shirt, making Gojo scoff and get rid of it, too. You sighed content about the equal stages of undress and wiggled slightly on top of the counter, enjoying the friction this provided against both the fabric of your pants and Gojo’s bulge.

“You little minx,” Gojo growled lowly, suddenly pinning you down to the counter by your neck. The cold surface sent a shiver through the entirety of your body. He adjusted his grip to be more gentle, yet still determined enough to hold you in place, actively preventing you from escaping from his touch. You would welcome the sweet torture that was to follow deliberately and Gojo was very aware of that.

Soon enough Gojo began his agonisingly slow treatment of your torso, mouthing his way from your collar bones to your chest where he spent his sweet time circling each nipple with his tongue.

You didn’t know what exactly he was doing with his shameless long tongue but you had never felt your body rise to the touch on its own quite like that and it took a minute to recognise it was your own voice which echoed through the apartment so obscenely.

Desperate for more stimulation which Gojo still withheld from you, you tried to pull him closer with your crossed legs, earning a suppressed moan from him as his erect member brushed against your clothed sex. How much you would’ve given for those layers to finally be gone.

“You really haven’t been getting laid properly at all, huh.”

Completely unnerved by now you groaned and shot Gojo an acid glare, but the elite sorcerer just chuckled to himself as he straightened back up, sizing you up in the process once again. You had never seen his eyes this dark.

In a split second his hands were undoing your pants as if they had never done anything else in his life and a few moments later you were sitting on the counter completely undressed.

When you blinked away your surprise, Gojo brushed another deep kiss on your lips, humming on them, “I’d hold onto something if I were you~”

And then he dove down to your core, hands holding your hips in place well aware that you wouldn’t be able to hold still.

As soon as his lips connected to your nether folds, a lightning impulse flashed through your body and your loudest moan yet left your lips. Your head flew back by itself and you wreathed as best you could on the counter top for either more or less friction, you weren’t quite sure.

All the while Gojo relentlessly continued his pursuit of your sex, tongue swirling expertly over and around your clit, building up a certain intensity before he moved down slightly to lick and mouth at your entrance.

You desperately held onto the edge of the counter for support, spilling his name over and over again, while Gojo cheekily thrust his tongue into you for a taste before he redirected his attention to your clit again.

The coil in your core seemed to harden and become undone at the same time and another flick of Gojo’s tongue made you scream as you jerked up as you finally hit your high. Juices spilled out of your cunt and you buried your flushed face in your hands while your entire body was convulsing in ecstasy.

Gojo made sure to keep his grip on you so you wouldn’t slide down from the counter, licking his soiled lips. Once he was sure that your breathing calmed down a bit he gently stroked away a couple of stray strands of hair and smirked, “Told ya you weren’t in the need of any enhancement, babe. You’re to die for~”

Still concentrating on your oxygen intake you were feeling rather overwhelmed with everything that had played out just now. It took a bit of bargaining with yourself to search for Gojo’s gaze again, but when your eyes met you immediately noticed the mixture of hunger and smug complacency in his. He had gotten you good, but you decided you weren’t going to leave before payback.

And so you cocked your brow up and smirked, “I admit you lived up to your word, Gojo. Mind if we take round two to the bedroom?”

A grin.

“Not at all, princess,” Gojo replied and picked you up bridal style to carry you off into his chamber.

Gojo’s bedroom was dark. Both furniture and bedding were either held in a dark grey or black and the shades were lowered. When Gojo let you down on the bed you took a look around and tended your head slightly at the unexpected interior.

You were torn out of your thoughts when you heard Gojo unbuckle his belt, followed by the sound of his zipper and turned back to see him in his whole glory.

His member was definitely on the larger side, but you were happy to see it came short of what you knew would be painful to insert. It had a nice girth and was slightly tended to the right, the tip glistening with pre-cum meant for your prior endeavors. You licked your lips unconsciously, eager to feel it in you.

“Marveled at my dick enough, have we? ” Gojo smirked knowingly and reached for a condom which just happened to lie on top of his nightstand.

You nodded slightly and watched him routinely put it on, before you pulled him on top of the bed and ravished his mouth with yours. He had deserved your undivided attention after making true of his promise and you were way past the stage of having any second thoughts.

Gojo curled his lips against yours, easily positioning himself on top of you while his hands were suddenly all over your body. It seemed like he wanted to leave his touch on every inch of your being and honestly? At this very moment you didn’t mind if he did.

The energy between the two of you grew hotter by the minute and you gasped for breath when he readjusted your hips so his member was prodding against your entrance.

“Last chance, (Y/N)…hng~”

The strain in his voice did it for you and you brushed a fleeting kiss on his cheek on your way to his ear, “Take me already, Satoru!”

A deep groan reverberated in Gojo’s upper body at the mention of his first name and he penetrated you in a swift, smooth motion, making both of you moan with pleasure.

He gave you a moment before he moved, offering the opportunity to get used to his considerable size before he started moving at a cheeky pace. Something had just clicked between the two of you and you moved against him as if you had never done anything else in your life. It felt liberating. It felt right. . .

A couple many minutes and exchanges of ecstasy later.

You were laying sprawled half-way over Gojo while he lazily played with your slightly damp hair. After your last round he had suggested a shower since you technically still had a train to catch and you thought it a good idea.

If you hadn’t stopped him, you would’ve also stained his bathroom with his name. Who would’ve thought that his infinite also applied to sexual stamina? But then again, it was Gojo who you were talking about.

You weren’t quite sure how this session was going to change your relationship with Gojo in the future, but you definitely didn’t regret going through with it.

You shuffled slightly on the bed and stretched slightly, “Mh, what’s the time?”

“Hn, ten past two,” Gojo replied with a raspy, yet slightly amused voice.

Ten past two. Ten past two. The bullet train back to Kyoto you were supposed to board was leaving at half past two!

You jumped out of the bed, hurriedly reaching for your clothes.

“FUCK!”

“Any time, (Y/N)”

You shot Gojo another glare, painfully aware that he had to have known.

Gojo only gifted you a wink and grinned, “If you are going to be as nice to me as you were just now the next time we meet, I might be willing to help you out, (Y/N)~”

You cursed the day you were born. Actually, no. You cursed the day Gojo Satoru was born to torment your existence.,

[amjustagirl]

Hogwarts AU (Haikyuu!!)

Previously: Miya Atsumu. Miya Osamu. Kita Shinsuke. Kuroo Tetsuro. Tsukkishima Kei.  Bokuto Koutaro

Masterlist link

Wordcount: 2.5k

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff

Genre / Pairings: Fluff, Hogwarts AU, Sakusa / Reader

Summary: You’re invited to Kiyoko’s seventeenth birthday party, which turns out to be a ball for the glittering elite of the magical world, where you meet one very surly, very sulky Sakusa Kiyoomi.

A/N: Comments as always, are much welcomed. Feel free to shout at me anytime!

Requests closed for the time being!

Though if you toss a suggestion my way that I like, I may...reconsider ;)

Requested by Yeon baobei @moondaius​ I hope you like it, darling <3

-------------------------------------------

You feel out of place in this party filled with the glittering elite of magical society. Your sleeves do not quite reach down to your wrists, and the ruffles on the neckline of your dress robes are a little limp, but you’ve had to make do with the rejected pile of clothes from your more affluent cousins. It’s not often you get invited to formal dinner parties anyway. Your home is a tiny attic flat on the cross junction between Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley, and your mother is just a humble cleaning lady, so this soiree is just an exception - your classmate Kiyoko being exceptionally kind and inviting you to her seventeenth birthday party. 

“Look! Isn’t that Sakusa Kiyoomi? Isn’t he handsome?” You can hear the girls around you sigh dreamily to their friends as said boy enters the ballroom with his cousin Komori in tow. 

The Ravenclaw seeker elicits this sort of reaction even in school - or especially in school, but you’ve never joined his legion of fans, his overall grumpiness acting as a deterrent to you ever speaking to him despite sharing multiple classes together. Still, he is handsome, you admit to yourself. Towering over most of the party guests, Sakusa Kiyoomi has artfully tousled black curls, cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass and the most adorable pair of moles above his right eyebrow. 

“Komori!” You wave, grinning with affection as the affable Ravenclaw keeper bounds over towards you like an overgrown puppy. 

“It’s so nice to see you here!” He greets you with his usual cheer. “These parties can be a drag if you don’t know anyone.”

“It is a little overwhelming”, you admit, side-eyeing the chandeliers hanging from the arched ceiling, dripping in crystals and wrought with gold. You’re sure that if you managed to sneak just one chandelier in your pocket, it’d be enough to feed you and your mother for an entire year. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you have fun tonight!” Komori promises with a chuckle. Then he snaps his head back, realising he’s left his cousin stranded in a crowd of fawning women - a fate that Sakusa Kiyoomi obviously deems worse than death judging from the way he glowers down at his shoes as if they’ve offended him in some way. 

“You better rescue him”, you add, internally amused as Yuna-san from Slytherin slides her talons up Sakusa’s arms. “Five minutes in, and he already seems like a damsel in distress.”

Komori answers you with a lopsided grin as he swims through the crowd to reach his cousin drowning in his worst nightmare. You snort to yourself, helping yourself to a generous amount of punch, watching as Komori manages to extract Sakusa while charming the ladies into not sulking too much at the loss of their prey. Sakusa promptly disappears once he’s free from the quicksand of social interaction, while Komori himself gets claimed for the first dance of the night. 

You have fun too - well, somewhat. You stand along the sides of the ballroom like an overgrown wallflower, watching as your peers in brightly coloured dresses get asked for dances while you’re passed over with a glance at your ill-fitting dress. But Komori does swing by and dances a foxtrot with you - both of you trip over the other at one point, causing a small commotion in the corner of the ballroom, but it’s all in good fun. Even Kiyoko takes the time to pop by and say hi, even though she’s swamped with well-wishers and familial obligations.  

You don’t regret coming to the party at all. 

“Omi, be social for once.” It’s only because your ears are sharp that you overhear Komori urge his cousin out from his hiding spot behind the dessert table. “You’ve been hiding from everyone the entire night, and you haven’t even danced once!” 

“I don’t like people.” Sakusa grounds out through clenched teeth. “And I don’t dance”. 

“Don’t be a grump. There are perfectly nice people here - look, I have a friend here who’d be perfect for a dance”. 

You look up, meeting his eyes as he grins apologetically at you. You’re about to mouth ‘hell no’ at the irrepressible Komori, but Sakusa beats you to it in his characteristically blunt fashion. 

“She’s tolerable enough I suppose, but I’m not inclined to be a knight in shining armour and dance with someone just because no one else will”. 

Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline. 

Komori looks like he’s about to push Sakusa into the birthday cake, but thinks the better of it. “Omi”, he hisses in warning. 

Sakusa glances up, guilt flooding his eyes when he meets your gaze, but you don’t give him a chance to redeem himself, flouncing away in a swirl of faded satin. You brazenly seek out dance partners for yourself - Kuroo from Slytherin might seem smarmy, but he smirks at you in recognition and twirls you around in a merry square dance and Akaashi from Ravenclaw looks like he’d much rather bury his nose in a book but he’s gentlemanly enough to let you take his hand for a stately waltz. 

You’re in the middle of another waltz, this time with sunny Bokuto from Hufflepuff when you spot Sakusa squirming from the corner of your eye. Yuna (Slytherin, seventh year, pureblooded of course) has him cornered, back against the wall, and there’s no Komori in sight to save him – nor anyone really, almost everyone else is enjoying themselves on the dance floor. 

You sigh inwardly. Sakusa might be cold and cranky but even he deserves to be rescued from Yuna’s clutches, so you maneuver Bokuto towards in their direction. Bokuto, to his credit, catches on immediately, and with a spark of mischief in his eyes, he grabs a glass of punch and tips it over both Sakusa and Yuna. 

“You idiot!?!” Yuna shrieks, horrified as the bright red liquid stains the front of her robes. “These robes were specially tailored for me in Paris you know?”

You didn’t know that, and frankly – you couldn’t care less about the cost of her fancy robes, and with a murmured – I’ll help Sakusa clean up, you grab said boy by his sleeve and manhandle him out of the ballroom. Thankfully she’s so distracted that she doesn’t pick up on the fact that you’re both seventh years now, so there’s really no need for you to rush to the washroom since it’s completely legal for you to be using magic to clean Sakusa up. You leave Bokuto in your wake to deal with an irate Yuna, but he’s grinning nonetheless, telling her that his cleaning charms are awesome, does she want him to try fixing her dress? Akaashi and Kuroo join the commotion, and in the diversion they cause, no one notices your escape.

You tug him down a deserted hallway, relinquishing your grip on him only when you find an appropriate hiding place – an open air balcony, where no one is likely to stumble on you. ‘Turgeo’, you whisper, whipping out your wand, nodding in satisfaction as the charm siphons punch off Sakusa’s robes. 

“You can catch your breath here for a bit”, you tell him, hopping up to take a precarious seat on the balcony railing. His brows pinch together, and you watch, bemused as he tries to make sense of what just transpired.

“Tha-“ 

Taking pity on him, you interrupt him. “You don’t have to thank me. I came to your rescue cos you’re tolerable, even though you’re always grumpy. Plus, I’m a Gryffindor, so being a knight in shining armour comes naturally to me”. 

Your amusement grows as he splutters at having his ill mannered words quoted back at him, embarrassment burning into his cheeks. It’s fun to throw calm, collected Sakusa Kiyoomi off balance sometimes, you think – and perhaps given his privileged, pureblood background, he probably needs it every once in a while. But then you’re surprised when he gathers himself and inclines his head ever so slightly. 

“That was…inexcusable of me to speak of you that way. I apologise.” 

 “It’s fine”, you reply easily, but he doesn’t allow you to shrug his apology off. 

“It’s not. I was rude and unkind.” 

This is the most you’ve ever heard Sakusa Kiyoomi say, and you want to capitalise on it. 

“I know how you can remedy that”, you interject with a smile. 

He quirks his eyebrows in confusion, watching you warily. You’re tempted to drag out the suspense to watch him squirm, but you don’t want to torture the poor boy any further. 

“You can pay me back by giving me the dance you so cruelly refused me”, you tell him, jumping down onto your feet. Then with the most unladylike laugh, you sweep into an exaggerated bow, holding your hand out to him - 

“My good sir, if you please?” 

He stares down at your proffered hand. “Here? Now?” 

“You have another time in mind?” You ask sarcastically, back still bent in a bow. “Come on, your mother probably brought you up better than this, don’t keep a girl waiting forever.”

“Fine, fine”, he mumbles. So as the string orchestra in the ballroom strikes up another tune yet again, he takes your hand, and wrapping his arm around your waist, he leads you in a waltz. 

Step step twirl. 

One two three. 

Step step twirl. 

He’s the ideal dance partner, expertly steering you through the one-two-three of the melody, never once making a misstep – though he does wince when you tread on his toes once too many times. 

“You’re surprisingly good at dancing, for a misanthrope”, you comment.

“My mother made me learn”, he replies, ignoring the hidden barb in your remark. “It’s a waste of time, but I guess now that I keep getting invites for balls, it’s useful knowledge so I don’t make a fool of myself when I get forced to dance.”

“Like now?” You chuckle self-deprecatingly. 

He doesn’t reply for a few beats and you assume the conversation is over when he replies – 

“Not like now. It - this is nice.” 

It’s summer, and while the cool night still nips at your skin, warmth inexplicably suffuses your cheeks. You thought you were just having a laugh, it’s only now that you realise that the situation you’ve put yourself in with Sakusa is practically lifted out of a fairytale – a boy and a girl, hiding in a balcony, waltzing under the stars? The only thing missing is maybe a shooting star falling from the skies, or a lost glass slipper or two. 

Your train of thought is interrupted when the song ends, and he surprises you yet again when he does not drop your hand. 

“Would my lady wish to dance with me again”, he asks, though there’s a glimmer of playfulness in his eyes that belies his formal tone. 

You ignore every fiber of your being screaming at you that dancing with him again is going to be terrible for your heart, dropping into a low curtsy. 

“Why, I thought you’d never ask”, you simper in a poor imitation of Yuna and her toadies, and he only snorts, sweeping you into his arms, intent on dancing the night away. 

----------------------------------------------

“The two of you have been gone the entire night”, Komori comments, a faint accusatory tone colouring his words. “I was about to organise a search party.”

“I was just helping Sakusa clean up after a mishap with a glass of punch”, you reply, though your lie is punctured by the wince you give when your shoes pinch your feet – a sign that you’ve danced far, far too much on this magical night. 

“Is that so?” Komori directs his question to his stoic cousin. 

Sakusa doesn’t even bother to reply, palm warm against the small of your back as he ushers you off to his flying carriage, intent on sending you safely home. 

Your mother’s jaw drops when she wakes up to Sakusa’s carriage thunder down your street, a fleet of winged white horses dragging an enchanted golden carriage. You feel like Cinderella as he escorts you to the front door, pressing a courtly kiss to the back of your hand when he wishes you goodnight. That is, if Cinderella snagged her Prince Charming on the first night they met -  by accident, no less. 

Your jaw drops when you wake up the next morning to a delivery from an imperial looking snow owl, and when you tear open the parcel, your hands shake so much you have to sit down. That ridiculous boy sent you dress robes of pearl white tulle, along with an invitation to his seventeenth birthday party, to be held in two weeks. 

And the most staggering of all – the parcel also includes your dance card, Sakusa’s name neatly written in it to claim ayour dances for the night. 

Every single dance of the night. 

“Impertinent fellow”, you mutter to yourself, though you can’t help but fall back onto your bed, giggling like a loon. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi is an enigma, a boy shielding his true self from the world by cocooning himself in layers of unfriendliness and grumpiness. But in the short amount of time you’ve spent with him, you’ve discovered that he isn’t as cold or unfeeling as he makes himself out to be. You unearthed his sharp sense of humour when he started dropping barbs about preening party guests, telling you the dirty secrets of each pureblooded family gathered here tonight. 

“She did what?” you gasped. “No way.”

‘Believe it”, he smirked. “She later tried marrying her daughter off to me, but my parents refused”. 

And over the course of the night, you start to see shades of his softer side. He surprised you when he apologised over and over again for not dancing with you the first time, saying he hadn’t realised that you were being overlooked because almost everyone in attendance were snobs. 

“It’s the dress”, you told him cheekily, tugging at the cheap fabric. “Otherwise everyone around here would be falling for my sparkling personality”. 

He couldn’t help but snort at that. 

Then he started to tell you about himself. You learn that he wants to go pro not because he has a burning passion for Quidditch, but rather because it’s something he’s put so much effort into that he might as well continue doing it into adulthood. You learn that despite his complaints about the Ravenclaw team - seemingly sweet Suga and the troublesome beaters Makki and Mattsun in particular driving him insane with their relentless ribbing and puns and jokes, he’s grown fond of them. 

He’s funny and witty and sentimental and smart. You truly enjoyed his company last night. 

You can’t wait to see him again. 

Neither can Sakusa, so it seems. He’s on your doorstep before noon, a bouquet of roses and a bashful expression on his face. 

“A gentleman caller”, you pretend to swoon as you open the door. “Happy day!” 

“I hope I’m the only one”, he retorts, all shyness evaporating immediately, a glint of amusement in his dark eyes. 

“So far you are”, you tease, nose buried in rosebuds. “Fair warning before you sweep me off my feet though - I’m not going to be one of your typical, pureblooded heiresses who’ll titter at every word you say, just cos you’re Sakusa Kiyoomi”. 

He actually chuckles at that. “I’m counting on that”, he says, taking your hand. 

You both share a shy smile.  

[starshipsofstarlord]

Hi! So I would like to request a Seb x reader one shot if you have the time ☺️ I just got diagnosed with Endometriosis today and am in need of some soft Seb... Could you write smth where Seb finds out that reader is always in pain during sex and never said anything, though he knows she has Endometriosis and usually cares for her during her period... and he then encourages her to get surgery to try and fix it? Only if it's okay though, I know it's very precise, sorry!

A/N; I am so sorry to hear about this hun, i hope there’s something that can be done, no one deserves to go through that kind of pain. I researched endometriosis and it certainly sounds horrible, I’m sending you all my love and support 💙

Endometriosis - Sebastian Stan x reader

Masterlist Link

Summary; based on the request, I changed it a tiny bit so I hope that’s okay, I just feel like if r was in pain seb would notice, I hope you like it hun 🤍

Warnings; endometriosis, smut, oral sex (male and female receiving), 69ing, mentions of sex toys, illness, mention of alcohol, fluff, pain, swearing

divider by @firefly-graphics

It hurt like a bitch, there was no way to put it, or at least it was a simpler revelation of description at the prying of your womb had you near to tears. You laid your head down into the pillow, mushing it into the fabric, as you wanted the pain to dwindle down into nothing, and thus you tried to ignore your own suffering, as you turned over to be on your back, severely wincing by the change in position. A groan came from the other side of the bed, as the man that was laid there began to shuffle, in the midst of waking up.

“Morning.” He spoke with a hoarse voice, the steadiness obliterated by his blatant hangover that was haunting his form. Sebastian rubbed a hand over his eyes as he fully awoke, stretching his back as he reached his arm out, swiftly hooking it around the back of your neck as you allowed yourself to lay on the muscle. “Guess neither of us got laid, did we?” He laughed lightly, shaking his head, as he tipped his chin up, blinking his baby blues up to the ceiling.

“Considering that we’re in the same bed, and that you’re not a stranger to me, I guess not.” You laughed to your close friend, whom was aware of your condition, but not the extent of it. “Looks like you’re going to suffer from no morning sex Stan, I’m sure that sucks for you.”

“Usually it’s someone else doing the sucking.” You smacked his arm at his off handed comment, pulling a smirk out from the man as he turned to face you, pulling you closer by the contact that he had upon you. “I’m guessing your disappointed that you’re not waking up to some muscular, blonde haired and blue eyes patriotic punk.”

“If you’re describing Evans, i swear that I will punch you in the dick, I said he was attractive once.” You put emphasis on the amount of time(s) you had ever mentioned it. A pout quivered his lips, as he shuffled beneath the covers, angling his hips in a more comfortable position so that they weren’t being crunched down on the mattress.

“You can punch my dick, on the agreement that you kiss it better.” Seb allowed a hollow smirk to mull over his handsome features, as you swatted his bicep once more, an unhumored frown conforming its position upon your face.

“I’m not one of your hook ups, I’m not gonna get on my knees for you buddy.” You bantered back, raising a brow at his inquisition. No, you were not a past sexual partner of his; it was a constant of him never having a serious relationship, he opted for flings rather than any long engagements, you suspected that he had feelings for someone else, but you were not sure of whom.

The thought alone of him being endeared with the image of one woman brought a pain to your body, separate from your medical suffering. Though your opinion wasn’t fair, considering that you as well, or had your time of sleeping around before the pain in your inner walls became too much, and that was one of the many things that you had given up, more or less.

To support the montage of your body’s self torture, you had a mixture of hormone and tablets that helped reduce the unexplainable sensation that willed around in your lower half, swarming around like an internal snake bite in your own body.

“69 then?” He joked, but it felt so serious. You knew he wasn’t being truthful, it was the relationship the pair of you had, though his face had moved closer, his breath fanning over your face, making your heart prominently race as you thought about such a scenario. “Having mentioned Evans...” he began to change the conversation, having felt the heat that had radiated from your body.

“Go on.” You pried at him, interested in hearing what his friend had opted to say about the pair of you. It wasn't every day that you heard celebrities gossiping about you.

“He thinks we’ve hooked up.” Sebastian stated, making your neck reel slightly back as you took in the fact, of well, the perceived view point of a world renowned, household name, actor. A part of you was slightly embarrassed, you held your own cheek as the words that Chris had passed on sunk in on you.

“We, no, never. Okay, I’m exaggerating, that would not be so bad, but it would definitely be weird. But like, why does he think that, of all things?” You asked whilst partially laughing. It made you partially aware of yourself, and the prospect of you possibly having made your feelings obvious, but that however hadn’t been the case as Seb scratched over the stubble that he had on his chin, and did that awkward Bucky smile that had became humorous in his new marvel show.

“Of all things; it’s like you’re trying to break my heart babes.” With one diverging look from you, he knew he was done for. It always pained him to keep secrets from you, and this was the one that he had been hiding for so long. “You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you? Okay, fine. I still can’t believe that you haven’t caught on, after all this time, but this just shows that you haven’t noticed how I try and scare away every guy with my money and power.”

“Yeah, I noticed that.” Lightly you scoffed, having many memories of such a situation. It was a pattern that kept repeating itself, but to you it had just become normal, and to say you were fine with it was not incorrect. It gave you hope that he could reciprocate the emotions that you held towards him, though having a wish like that was altogether hopeless. He was just protective, that was all, he probably saw you like a little sister, or something of the sort, that really put a drab annotation on the prospect of romance.

“Ever wonder why?” Ever, more like all the time, but you allowed him to continue without disruption, by doing so more would be unveiled by that mouth of his, and you were eager to learn more, yet a little hesitant. “It is because I am so tired of being your friend, I love it, don’t get me wrong but...” you were dreading what was to come out of his mouth next, you squeezed your eyes shut, almost as if you were unable to see, the pain would not render upon your specimen. “I love you.”

“You what?!” Eyes snapping open, you were blatantly shocked by his confession. “That can’t be right Seb, you’re you, and I’m me, and-“

“We’re us.” He finished for you. As he noticed you relax from his contingence, which allowed him the time gap to slide closer, his warm and soft hand running up the side of your face as he watched you gasp from the sensation. It was not the first time he had touched your cheek, but it was the first instance in which he done so intimately; you were rather fond of the treatment.

You nuzzled your face into the curve of his hand, your brows lightly directed in a downwards motion as you lulled in his touch, and that was when you realised that he had frozen. “Shit.” You stopped him from moving away, pausing the sadness in his eyes for the current second. “I should have responded, that was my bad. I love you too, I’m not just saying that, so you know.”

“That’s a relief.” Sebastian sighed, falling back onto the mattress, bringing his face accidentally closer to your own. The tips of your noses were touching as your eyes ogled deep within the pools of one another’s, it was impossible not to seek a closer vicinity, and thus, you slunk closer, bracing the tips of your nails against his scruff, as your lips worked their way onto his.

“How would you like another kind of relief?” You pulled away, stroking down the smooth course of his shirt covered chest, prompting a suggestive dialogue in your tone. His brow raised as he thought about it for a moment, but then he remembered a rather distinctive matter he didn’t want to cause any obstruction to.

“What about your, you know?” He was referring to your endometriosis, having the knowledge about the unfortunate illness that interfered with your life. Through it all, the doctors appointments, the encouraging you to take your medication on days that you weren’t feeling particularly well, he was there. Now it made sense why.

To reply, you softly shook your head, combing your hands over his shoulders, as you answered him. “If it gets too much, I’ll give you the signal.” You spoke, leaning down to peck his lips, though you still saw the reluctance that was embedded on his forehead in the form of strict lines. “I promise.” You persuaded him, meaning the sentiment, as his eyes trailed down, his hand scourging a fierce, passionate grip upon your hipbone as his tongue weaved its way back into your mouth.

You moaned into the atmosphere of his mouth, grabbing onto his cheeks as you heaved breaths into the internal beyond of this man, rolling on top of him, as you swept your crotch down against his own, extracting a sinister sound out of his guttural throat. It was only turning you on more, and you knew that if you didn’t do something, even despite the recommendations of your doctor, you would be sufficed with a lack of pleasure, and that was all you currently craved.

It wasn’t fair how you had been dubbed with the condition. So many people in the world could have sex whenever they pleased, yet you were forced to commend under the sentence of experiencing a discomfort when all you wanted was the comfort of being intwined with another human being. That connection, it felt mandatory, however you were denied it, for every time that you proceeded to bed a stranger, or a partner of any sorts, the stretch of anything in your walls pursued you with a fracture of pain.

You’d even had to throw out your vibrator, whilst it felt good on the outside, the clenching of your empty walls sparked physical and mental hurt, and reminded you of the fact that whenever you were filled by any length, your body could not function to emit pleasure, instead it was the opposite that you were tasked with contracting. The thought and reminder often spewed tears in your eyes, but you held them back as you got lost in Sebastian.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He admitted sentimentally, and your heart both became full and broken. It was sweet and scorching to the arousal between your legs to know that he was that concerned about your well being; he wasn’t just prioritising getting his dick wet. He resumed pressing succulent kisses on your lips, he lulled in the notion, he too wanted to be close to you, but he wasn’t willing to do inadvertently so to the expense of you being in pain.

That was the opposite of what he wanted, even as your hand wandered down his firm and pheromone driven body, that bucked in your grip, as your hand hooked around his bulge, your thumb stroking over his round sack as he grew beneath the layers of his soft sweats and underwear. “69 then?” You reiterated his earlier words, causing his pupils to blow wide, and his blue irises to darken into the juxtaposition of stormy skies.

“Will that be okay?” You confirmed it was, even if you weren’t completely sure yourself. The angles, the penetration, it was all elements, that combined gave you an equation that you had yet to figure out. The only way to do so was to try it, even if it concluded in an error, and not a sensible answer. To instigate the next step, you roused your sleep shirt from your body, leaving you in nothing more than your causal panties, but Seb didn’t seem to mind.

In fact he rather preferred the normalcy of your actions and undress, it made the strategy of shifting from friends to intimate lovers into one of relaxation, there was no absurdity nor discomfort yet, for either one of you. Your fingers dipped in the sides of your underwear, teasing the band, as you cocked your head towards Seb, licking your lips as you took in the view of him entranced by your being. “Am I going to be the one naked or...”

You were grateful that he took the hint, and stripped himself from both layers that kept his goods confined. He rapidly removed them, leaving his uncut cock open to your gaze; it wasn’t anything massive which was a relief, but it for now, it was to be attained in the confinement of your mouth, rather than the realm of your cunt, so that slight stretch could await. As you thought of that, you reached your hand out, dancing your fingers lightly over his shaft.

Seb emitted a soft huff from his obtainable lips, he dragged you to be laying atop of him, as your thighs surrounded his length on either side, it was warm, and rested perfectly below your where your cunt was hovering. How you wished to just sink down on it and- “Turn around.” For a moment you took time to refrain your memory to perceive what you had said before. And then, whence your words caught up to you, it was simple to do so, especially with the motivation of what was going to happen.

As you spun around, to be facing his lower half and have your own above his mouth, you watched his cock twitch, as it rested heavily upon his abdomen. You could feel your nerves kick in; it was a substantial difference from anything that you had ever done together, from looking at the stars and watching cheesy movies, to sexual actions, it was quite the leap. But a welcome one, you had waited so long to acknowledge your feelings to him, you'd be damned if you were not going to act on them.

A shiver rippled up your spine as he paved a lick through your slit, it made you tense up for a moment, and you try to register any diagnosis of pain, you coiled when he put one of your lips in his mouth. It felt good, which was a relief, and you took that as a sign to reap your front forwards, and focus on his throbbing hardness that was oozing precum against his perfect skin. The drop of essence looked like liquid moonstone, catching the ambience of the snooping sun that eyes through the crescent opening of the closed curtains, creating a luminescent light against the contrast of his skin.

Leaning forwards, as the initial shock of Seb using his tongue on you had settled in, as a faint plea from inside of you derived away in your eternal being, your tongue glided over the patch of fallen precum, your eyes fluttering at the heavenly, yet rare taste, it wasn’t every day that a man’s cum was relatively nice on your buds. Some perceived eating junk food as a lifestyle, caring not for how the receiver of their sperm would taste within the mouth of a giver on the other end. Sebastian hummed against your slick folds, as he danced his hands around your ass, grasping your cheeks firmly.

His fingers swept through the outside of your cunt, fooling around with your labia as his tongue swirled your bud, making your face grimace on the edge of pleasure, as your warm lips wrapped around the head of his cock, whirling your tongue within his slit, as your hand rested around the rest of his length, jerking it in your grasp, as his hips lightly heaved upwards against your face. He teased a finger around your entrance, running the tip along the wet flesh that mimicked your breaths as it clenched prosperously.

“Shit!” Tears webbed in your eyes as he entered the finger, though he considered that a resonating profanity of pleasure. To your dismay, it indeed was not though, the entry of the digit weighed heavy inside you, prying sorely against your walls as your giving to him paused, as you harshly gripped his thigh. “Shit, that hurts Seb. Fuck!” In an instant, he stopped, extracting his finger out from within you, as it caused you further pain, and helped you turn around, and lay languidly upon the bed.

“Oh my god, fuck, I’m so sorry y/n/n.” He panicked, immense guilt wavering his body, as he grasped your face, staring with sorrow into your seasoned expression. “I didn’t mean to- didn’t want to hurt you, shit, I should never have tried to-“ soothing his conflicting emotions, you stroked his shoulders, kissing him to ease his words into silence. He felt guilty, but so did you, you were the one whom had encouraged to pursue the rhythm of your shared sexuality to one another, deducting the poise of your actions with tear beaded eyes.

“It was my fault; I said it would be fine. I should have known it shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.” You reasoned with him, knowing that you had told him that it was to be something that you could manage, but from experience, you should have had better knowledge of how things would turn out.

“Don’t you ever apologise, you’re perfect, the only thing that I want to ease is your suffering. Is there any news on the operation that can be done, should I get you your medication now?” He wanted to be certain, to ensure that you didn’t put the accountability of your situation completely on yourself, he should have asked if a finger would have been fine, he shouldn’t have been swayed by your persuasion. “I could talk to someone, see if I could get the thing moved up, I can pay for it, get you further up on the ladder.”

“No.” You smiled, pressing an ample kiss upon his scruffy cheek. “I don’t want that, many other people are waiting for the op too, and I can’t have you paying for it. That would just be inconsiderate of me, you have already done so much for me, I can’t ask more. You’ve been there through everything, just wait with me whilst I wait for myself.” You pulled the sheets over your breasts, staring opulently into his serene eyes, shuddering as he swept his lips over your mouth once more, deriving you breathless for a moment.

“It’s okay to be selfish, if any of them had that chance, then they would take it. I can afford it, and I would want nothing more than to pay for it, it’s not just about sex, you know that. I love you so so much, you’re my best friend, the girl of my dreams, I’ve waited for you, I just want the pain that you live through to disappear. Out of all people, it’s not fair that it’s you, but it is, and this is the one way to fix the reductive searing of hurt that you live through.” You gulped, water glazing your irises as you stared at her, trying to diffuse your light sob.

His words brought acceptance to you within the scenario, as you took a deep breath in, confronting the trigger that had set off inside of you. It was difficult to handle and attain to, as you curled in his bare arms, exasperating your soundness close to him, as he competently cupped your face, kissing the tip of your nose. “Okay.” You agreed, nodding sincerely along with your words. “Okay, I’ll do it for me. It’s the right thing to do.” A smile raved his face, as you convinced yourself of doing so. It was to be a long road, but Sebastian would be there holding your hand, travelling down this path alongside you.

[survivedsarchived]

he approached the scouts with the same mindset he tackled his grandfather's lessons: if it didn't interest him, he didn't retain it. adrian made a show of doing the motions — applying pressure, wrapping banadges, mock sutures on bananas, but first aid never managed to compel him. it was always nature that kept him invested in the scouts. hiking trails, identifying plants, pocketing rocks of unique shapes in a rainbow of colors — most, he would keep, but some, adrian would gift to his mothers, his grandfather, his cousins, his friends. akilah must have received a handful; he wonders if she remembers them.

he has a growing collection, now — kept safe within his bag, though he keeps at least one in his pocket. today's is a soft grey-blue, a chunk of granite smoothed by the water, that fits nicely in his palm; maybe he'll give it to akilah, a small thank you for her help.

adrian's injured hand slips idly into his pocket, thumbing along its flat surface as he considers her, a soft smile twitching to life. “i don't think it's stupid,” he replies earnestly, glancing around the cabin — the exposed rock of the fireplace, the attic access door, blankets and clothes cleared from the floor for the day. he shrugs. “this place does remind me of a summer camp i stayed at once, in elementary school. except it's a little bigger.” adrian scrunches his nose, squeezes the rock into his palm. “i tried to pretend it was the same, too. in the beginning. whatever we gotta do to stay... sane, you know?” he doesn't say what he compares it to now: one of his grandfather's stories. his reasoning for their constant preparations changed weekly — a collapse of government, a rampaging virus, a world crawling with the dead like in a romero flick — and adrian imagines sometimes that that's why rescue never came: because the world beyond here died. that they haven't been forgotten, or lost — that perhaps they're safe here because of the crash. it isn't anything he feels comfortable sharing with akilah, though; he's never quite explained his grandfather's eccentricities to anyone. he's never known how.

but it made him useful; adrian's grateful for that. it's given him a purpose, something to occupy his mind — a little too much, at times, he thinks, with a small glance to his bandage. with a slight frown, he removes the rock from his pocket, tosses it softly between hands. “i guess... doomed is a good word for it,” he agrees, only to feel immediately annoyed with himself; he hates to be a lackluster conversational partner. he takes a moment to consider his thoughts, mouth parting just slightly before he says, “you're doing your best. we all are. none of this shit's easy, y'know? you're trying. that's all that matters.” it's stated almost defensively, as if daring anyone to disagree. “things would be a whole lot worse without you here, doing what you're doing. i mean, shit, i'd probably have bled out.” an embellishment; the cut had been deep, but not nearly so bad. still, adrian stands by it.

“when we get home—” he repeats her words, though there's less conviction in it; there's a glimmer of hope within him, but he feels it weakening every day. still, it feels necessary to offer her this, an endorsement of the statement, to ensure her she's not the only one still thinking of what they've left behind. “you can tell my moms the stupid story behind this new scar. they'll think it's really funny, honestly.” as he speaks, adrian reaches for akilah's hand, folding the rock into it. “here. a token of my gratitude. i got it out of the stream a few days ago. i know it's pretty useless, but... it's pretty, right?”

akilah tries to keep her smile light,   but she can't help the way it grows with pride.    she quit the girl scouts a few years ago,   focusing instead on soccer as she grew older,    but it still held a special place in her heart.   she genuinely enjoyed it,   enjoyed the things she learned there,   enjoyed the sense of community and how some of those friendships remained  ---  especially with him.   he was her rock,   in a way she couldn't explain to him even now,   after they lost rachel that very first day when their worlds turned upside down.    so she doesn't mind if the burden feels like it's heavy on her shoulders;   she'll help him however much he needs,  with whatever.

 ❝  thanks.  i liked it, ❞    she admits,   wondering if he ever really felt the same pride.   she can understand why he wouldn't.    ❝  feels kind of silly though.   i used to beg my parents to let us go camping,  like,  all the time.   somedays i try to pretend that's what this is.   that we're just---   camping.  ❞     her head hands,   and she rolls her eyes.    ❝  that's  .  .  .    yeah,  that's so stupid to say,  i know.  ❞    and she wouldn't say it to just anyone,  either.    ❝  sometimes it just helps me feel better.   makes it feel fun,   but you know,   that only lasts,  like,   ten minutes tops.  ❞    when her stomach growls,   or a scar burns,   or she's reminded of how dry her cheeks are every time she tries to wash them.    

she lets out a small laugh and nods.    ❝  i do.  i promise.   you've helped me a lot out here,  too.   you know?   i don't mind doing the same for you.   ❞

she frowns after a moment,   eyes instinctively examining her bandaging again before she shakes her head.     ❝  it's fine.   really.   we all have to figure out our role here.   kinda feels,  like,   doomed or whatever if we don't.   ❞    whether that's just about making sure they aren't bored ----  or if it's about making sure there's no target on her back,   akilah is glad that she can provide something of use,   even though she still has limited experience.      ❝ i mean,  i guess it's kind of scary sometimes.   i don't know everything.   don't always know if i'm maknig the right call,  or whatever,  but i'm not afraid to keep trying.   when we  .  .  .    get home,   i want to make sure i've done something i'm proud of here,   ❞     she admits,   her eyes locking with his.    ❝  and you're not so dramatic about the pain.   that helps,  ❞   she adds with a teasing grin.    

[gohyuck]

pairing: head knight!jeno x monarch!reader (reader has genitals attributed to those considered biologically female but no pronouns are actually used)

genre: fluff, mild angst (they discuss an oncoming battle they must prepare for), smut (it’s mostly smut)

word count: 6.5k

warnings & notes (nonsexual): mentions of war/battle, mentions of injuries retained from past skirmishes, jeno is as tall as you need him to be in order to rest your head against his chest without leaning down, it’s kind of cheesy tbh they are disgustingly head-over-heels in love with each other, also a peryton is a fantasy creature that’s essentially a stag + a bird, also i know y’all must be tired of royalty aus but i swear this is almost pwp (except there’s context so there’s plot) so give it a chance (if you’re legal) i guess

warnings & notes (sexual): oral (giving and receiving for both parties), fingering (reader receives), spit kink (lmao sorry), general messiness honestly, mild knife kink (no blood drawn, he just uses a dagger to tear apart clothing), gratuitous usage of the name ‘lionheart’, jeno has a big dick because i cannot stop myself from doing that to y’all for some reason, some choking

special thanks to @moonlit-jeno​ @domjaehyun​ @waithyuck​ for reading parts of it/all of it beforehand!

the soft hours of twilight have their holds on you, chilling you to your bones even as you pull the heavy fur cape tighter around your body. you should’ve pulled something over your thin nightgown, you suppose, something to act as a middle layer between silk and skin and peryton fur, but it’s too late for that. you’re already out on your private balcony, overlooking a kingdom you’d do anything to see the sun rise on day after day. 

far, far past the outskirts of your humble realm, barely visible to your own eye, an unsettlingly large camp of soldiers is finishing setting up camp for the night. you watch as tiny, tiny orange pinpricks - no doubt the fires they’d set to make food, to alert you of their presence - begin to get snuffed out. finally, they sleep.

if you were any worse of a person, of a ruler, you would send your army after them now, hours before the battle is set. perhaps, if you were any less selfish, you would do so regardless of keeping your status as a good and just monarch. if you were any less selfish, you would shake awake the love of your life and hand him his cape after shedding it from your shoulders. you would tell him to rouse his men and women, to arm them to their teeth, and to fight for what is right using means that are entirely wrong. 

as if privy to your thoughts, your head knight stirs in the too-large bed behind you. you turn just in time to see him sit up and twist his body left, right, left as he stretches to rid himself of sleep. it’s too late - or maybe too early - for either of you to be awake. maybe you should have stayed within his warm embrace rather than gotten out of bed to size up the army of the kingdom of crithage. 

even now, you can’t help but strategize, at least on a basic level. crithagians are unused to the cold of your beautiful - but often frigid - ekoria. they won’t expect your people to fall upon them from the icy cliffs that surround their camp, nor will they be able to see over the oncoming blizzard your royal sky-reader has predicted. she has not been incorrect in many, many years. ekorians have, over the years, grown accustomed to heavy snows, among other weather phenomenon, so your army’s visual acuity is not to be questioned. 

that, and your troops are in the hands of the best warrior ekoria has ever had.

jeno. your jeno. your lionheart. you rein your thoughts in just as he pulls open the balcony door, closing it behind him with a soft click as he steps over the threshold separating in from out and warm from cold. goosebumps rise across his bare flesh the moment his skin meets air, and you don’t hesitate to slide his cape off and thrust it towards him, knowing full well that his arms will provide more than enough heat for you. he fastens it with ease, seeming slightly amused at how you’d been using it as a blanket, and gently grabs ahold of your wrist before pulling you into his chest and wrapping an arm around your waist. with his other hand, he takes a corner of his cape and wraps it around you, leaving you enveloped in both his hot-to-touch skin and the comforting fur. 

“they’re out in the valley, aren’t they?” he finally murmurs, leaning to place his mouth against your ear. jeno’s voice is thick and sleep-ridden, still raspy in a way that settles around you, inside you, within you. you lean back slightly, raising a cold hand to rest against the tattoo of a lion that adorns his left pectoral, mane stretching up to his collarbone and encroaching on his bicep. the lion has a scar on its right cheek. you pull away more, eyes landing on the thin discolored line underneath your lover’s same eye. 

it had been a longsword, meant to slash across your throat. jeno, with the speed of a star falling from grace and enough adrenaline to fuel a hundred men, had leapt across you in order to take it across the face. for crown and for country, bard’s songs later regaled of him. for you, he’d whispered to you that same night as you’d stitched him up, using the threading tactics you’d learned from the castle medic as a child. for you. always for you.

“my love?” jeno prods, and you realize you haven’t given his rhetorical question any acknowledgement. you hum, meeting his eyes with your own, and watch as he allows one corner of his mouth to turn up. 

“they only just put out their fires.” you finally respond, moving to be against his chest again. you rest your head against the intricate ink against jeno’s skin, finally letting out a breath of what one might consider worry. the air that leaves your lungs manifests into wisps out in the cold world that surrounds you. your lionheart pulls you ever closer. 

“you need not stress.” he says simply, and an outsider to your relationship would see no cohesion between your statement and his. still, you know precisely what jeno means, why he’s said what he’s said. you turn, pressing your lips against the lion’s forehead. above you, your own lion brushes his lips against your temple. 

“i have an army, a kingdom, even, to worry about, and yet i only fear tomorrow for whatever outcome befalls one man.” you whisper, and even you are surprised to find tears catching in your throat. you do not cry easily, not when you know firsthand how cruel the world can be. 

you only reign because your parents no longer breathe. 

tomorrow’s battle could easily bleed into next year’s war, and while your kingdom is prepared for such a thing, your heart may not be. your people are not belligerent, and neither are you. crithage had been the one to throw the first stone, had sent word that if you refused to relinquish your throne and bow your head, they would aim the first arrow, draw the first blood. no tears had been shed then, not even when you’d paced around your bedchambers, reading and rereading the note signed with blood red ink until jeno had physically pulled it out of your tight grasp. you hadn’t cried, not even when he’d said that he was willing to die if it meant keeping crithage out of ekoria, out of the kingdom you’d both built from ground up after the war that had taken your parents, out of the home you’d created together. 

“wherever you take us, i will follow. wherever you need me, i will lead.” he’d murmured the words against the lobe of your ear, standing beside and slightly behind your throne as you’d written out your reply to crithage in a room full of your advisors. nobody else had moved a muscle then, not even as you closed the envelope with hot wax and the royal seal. 

you’d sent back a much, much shorter letter than their own in response. 

a time and date for battle. nothing more and nothing less.

that had been so many months ago, so far away that the concept of time dissipates when you attempt to organize it in your harried mind. with a hostile army on your doorstep, everything suddenly feels far more real than it has before. your people have been evacuated, your troops have been trained. your lionheart is unafraid to the world, standing tall and proud at your side as he always has.

a sigh that starts from deep in jeno’s chest brings you back to the present. tomorrow is it, you’re reminded. crithage has seiged almost every other state between themselves and your beloved ekoria. if they get to you, they’ll have your head, raised high on a stake they’ll erect outside of the gates they’ll install to the place you call home. if they get to you, it means they’ll have gotten through jeno.

you can’t live in a world without him. it’s a dangerous attachment for a ruler to have, you’re well aware. if other kingdoms find out that your weakness is a person, one that lives and breathes, you’re not likely to ever see your love again.

it’s little comfort that jeno can’t live in a world without you, either. 

“i worry about not being here, at the castle, to protect you,” he mumbles into your hair. “i know that you are perfectly capable, and that you’ll have your own faction of our knights with you, but i- it feels as if i’m about to open my chest and leave my naked heart unguarded, right there for any arrows to pierce.”

jeno’s confession is simple, beautiful in the way the most ornate of daggers are: that is, you feel as if he’s just dragged a sharp edge down the length of your sternum, taking you apart piece by piece. his words cage you in, force you deeper into your own head in a way you can’t afford, not right now. 

“eloquent,” you hum, unable to resist teasing him even as the moment does not call for it. it’s to save yourself from your heavily beating heart. “it isn’t too late to make you my poet laureate, you know. no need to wield a sword tomorrow then.”

“and who would be your head knight then, hm? the current laureate? you want renjun to lead the charge against the crithagians? to be your lionheart?” your lover draws back to ensure that you can see his eyes, glimmering with mirth. renjun is an able man, and one of your best friends, but he is not the warrior jeno is. 

nobody is the warrior that jeno is. 

“such a foolish thing to say,” you smile up at him, lips folding from joking to earnest within moments. the merriment fades a little from jeno’s eyes at recognizing the change in your expressions. “you’re my only lionheart. always have been and always will be, even when you’re too old and gray and slow to be my head knight.” 

“someone seems confident of that happening.” he says quietly, raising the hand at your waist to come up and rest over your own hand that lies against his chest. you swallow, your own spit feeling too heavy for you to stomach, your throat dry and scratchy. 

“who else can have confidence of a victory rather than a monarch?” you ask, a smile that isn’t quite sad - but isn’t quite self-assured either - resting on your lips. jeno raises your hand to his lips, pressing one, two, three chaste kisses to the back and then repeating the pattern against your palm. he does not let go.

the two of you stand there for a stolen moment. you lay your head back against his chest, listening to the thundering of his heartbeat below the ink and skin and muscle and bone. he is real, and he is here. 

he is real. he is here. 

“the monarch’s lionheart, of course,” he murmurs, finally dropping your hand to reach back and push open the balcony door. “we only have four more strokes of time until i must go, my love. is this truly how you want to spend it?”

it’s evident that jeno no longer wants to mull over the what-ifs, not when he prefers living in the present more than anyone you’ve ever known. unsurprising, you suppose, for someone whose livelihood involves strategizing away his own mortality. you allow him to pull you back into your bedroom, immediately more comfortable when the door closes behind you, keeping you in with the body heat of your lover and the warmth of the crackling fire on the hearth in the corner of your room. jeno sheds the cape, draping it over the nearest chair, before bringing you back to his chest by placing his large hands against your waist.

it takes feeling his fingers against your skin through the thin silk of your slip to remember that jeno has nothing on. he’s always preferred to sleep naked, unlike you. though you hardly have any undergarments on, you at least wear a sheer gown most nights. 

you’d ridden him passionately before bed, tiring both of you out in order to get any semblance of sleep. as your lionheart pulls you flush against him, though, it’s difficult to avoid the way his cock hardens against your hip once more. you want to quip about how jeno’s insatiable, but he trails a hand up, up over your body to swipe a thumb over one of your hardened nipples, and you can’t help the sigh that escapes through your prettily parted lips. 

“will you get on the bed for me, love?” jeno’s voice is smoother now that he’s more awake, though you can’t help but miss the low growl that had come with the earlier rasp. he may be asking you a question, but you know that it’s an order in disguise. wordlessly, you step back, back, back until the wood of your bedframe presses against the soft plushness of the back of your thighs. jeno has not moved, choosing to stay put and appraise you instead. his eyes are hooded now, and as his gaze trails from your neck - he’d marked it up earlier, the kiss-bitten bruises not yet having faded from your skin - down to the curve of your chest, over the expanse of your thighs, he can’t help but reach one hand down to his dick, swiping two fingers over its head to collect his precum on his skin. 

jeno says nothing else, makes no other move. it’s to give you an illusion of control, you suppose. not that you need one. 

“should i rid myself of this, lionheart?” you ask, the words coming out breathier than intended. the nightgown leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination, and you’re sure he can even see the slick wetness that’s pooling against your inner thighs. jeno adores seeing your body more than anything, but the gown does not inhibit that. 

it’s no surprise, then, when he shakes his head no, instead finally moving to stand at the edge of the bed, slotting himself between your thighs as they naturally move apart to fit him in. his clean hand slides up under your gown, resting just above your cunt, as he raises his other hand to your face. 

“lie back, and open.” jeno states, no air of leniency about him anymore. you oblige, and your love leans over you, his dark gaze centered on your parted lips. 

he lays his two precum-coated fingertips against your tongue, pressing in and then down and revelling when you don’t gag but instead run your tongue over his fingers, cleaning them off for him. you haven’t gagged in a long time, your reflexes getting used to him in the way the rest of you is. when he withdraws his hand, your mouth stays open, and jeno can’t help himself as he leans over you and, after gathering it in his own mouth for a moment, allows his own spit to fall from his own tongue and onto yours. 

your eyes go wide at the action, and you know that he notices it even as he does not acknowledge it. even so, you don’t miss the smirk that crosses his face upon hearing your breath hitch. jeno has you in his palm.

satisfied, he stands, and you close your mouth and swallow a part of him with a part of you. jeno’s no longer looking at your face, but you can’t bring yourself to care, not when he’s ruching up your nightgown with growing hunger, not when he’s kneeling on the stone ground just to make himself eye-level with your pretty, pretty pussy. 

“i took you hardly any time ago,” he murmurs, breath hot against your skin as his mouth nears where you so desperately need him. “and yet here you are, laid open once more, all for me. only for me.”

“always you, jeno, please - ” you can’t get any more words out, the air being pulled out of you as he dives in and circles your clit with his tongue, bringing his two spit-soaked fingers up to press into you with almost no resistance. your reaction is instantaneous, walls clenching like a vice around his fingers as he lays a filthy kiss against your bundle of nerves, hips jumping up only to be kept down by jeno’s other hand, pressing down against the bottom of your stomach. 

“patience.” he pulls off of your clit just to growl the word out against the skin of your inner thigh, and the wet heat of his mouth directly against your flesh has you practically gasping out. when jeno sinks his teeth into your thigh as he’s often wont to do, you let out a full-bodied whine, the kind that starts in the back of your throat and rises up through the inner column of your neck, meant only for your lover’s ears. jeno laves his tongue over the marks he’s just created, as if to wash the pleasurable pain from your body. 

he does not reattach his mouth to your core, choosing instead to fall back and watch, eyes trained, as he scissors you open. with hardly any warning rather than his gaze jumping up to meet your own momentarily, jeno presses his thumb into your clit, using your slick wetness to eliminate any raw friction as he rubs slow circles against your nerve endings. he’s never failed to bring you to the edge with ease, and now is no different. you’d be embarrassed at how easily you fall apart just from his simple simultaneous motions, in and on you, but it’s jeno, and he knows your body maybe even better than he knows his own. 

keening, a loud, gasping wail, falls from your lips only for jeno to rise from his place in between your thighs and swallow your sounds with his open mouth, his clean hand coming up to cage you in against your sheets. the way you raise your arms to loop them around his neck is akin to the way a drowning man would grab on to a lifeline, and once he rises you pull him back into a longer, filthier kiss, where your teeth click against his and his tongue opens up your mouth the same way it feels like his touch opens up your body. 

you feel as if you’re being flayed, as if hellfire is the only thing comparable to the heat against your skin. jeno steps closer, just by the tiniest bit, and you feel his hand - the one shining with your arousal - brush past your hip before he uses it to wet his cock with one, two, three firm strokes. copious amounts of precum arise from the tip before being pulled down against his flesh with expert downstrokes. your mouth waters as you watch.

“my mouth, lionheart, please?” you finally gain the courage to ask what is on your mind, sitting up on your elbows as you begin to slowly find your strength. your love raises an eyebrow, and not without reason: jeno is a big man, making even you - a literal monarch - feel small at times, and this does not end with his personality or his person: you have never been able to take all of him into your mouth. the ache borders on painful, frankly, and jeno himself refuses to harm you in that way. 

“this, now, is about you.” he responds, and your heart cracks as you register that as a ‘no’. still, you speak again. you need him in your mouth, suddenly. it isn’t just a want. something has to anchor you to the here and now, it may as well be the head of his cock, heavy against your tongue.

“what is about me is about you as well,” you respond, and before he can lay his refusal down out flat, you slide onto the floor - warmer than expected - and tuck your heels behind your bare ass. “i need this. please.”

you’re directly in front of him now, face parallel to his strong thighs. jeno strokes up, squeezes tighter just below his frenulum, and you watch, struck, as precum beads at the tip and then splits into two streams, half sliding down his hard dick and the other slowly-but-surely falling to the ground, hardly a quarter of a step from one of your knees.

“give me your hand, then,” your knight murmurs from above you, drawing your gaze from his leaking cock up past the dainty curve of his lip to his hard eyes. “now.”

when you raise your hand up, you only put it up limply, unsure of what he means to do with the limb he’s asked for. your eyes must be swimming with questions, because jeno gives you a hint of a sweet, reassuring smile before allowing his expression to become stoic again… right before he grasps your given hand and straightens it out, gentler than expected from such a great warrior but harsher than he truly ever treats you. 

he’s passionate. this demonstrates it. 

before you can react, your body following your hand up off of your heels, though only slightly, as he yanks up your hand, jeno leans down and licks up your hand, from the bottom of your palm to the top, all while maintaining eye contact with you. he lets go, though you keep your hand raised, your gaze obviously dumbfounded. 

“a dry hand would rub me raw,” he explains, though the smirk that’s tugging at one corner of his mouth shows that he finds your wide-eyed expression at least mildly amusing. “we do not want that, do we?”

it’s amazing how easily he can get you under his thumb when you give out orders that hold his life in the balance on a day-to-day basis. maybe that’s why he finds taking charge in private so easy. maybe it’s his way of evening your dynamic out. even now, as he asks you an innocent question with no hidden meaning or reaction, you find yourself shaking your head along enthusiastically. no, of course you don’t want to rub him raw. of course you and him don’t want that. 

you raise the hand now deemed ‘not dry’ up as jeno watches, finally, finally wrapping your hand around it. your thumb and middle finger do not meet, no matter how tight you squeeze. your lover lets out a fulfilled groan at finally feeling a touch other than his own on his hard cock, and it’s a beautiful sound. you want more of it. you want more of him. 

as if mesmerized, you lean closer, darting out your tongue to lick experimentally at his slit. he holds his breath, a large hand coming to rest lightly against the back of your head and base of your skull, waiting. you take this as a sign to stretch your lips wider, engulfing the entire tip of his cock in your hot mouth. his grip tightens in your hair, and, in return, you clench around nothing. 

as you struggle to take more of jeno in your mouth, you do your best to stroke the rest of his cock with a tight enough grip to make him feel everything, but not tight to the point where you’re hurting him. regardless of how little you can take on your tongue - not your fault, by any means - jeno seems happy, barely able to stop himself from bucking up into the back of your throat. at this point, you’re essentially just warming his cock, so you pull off with a slick pop to look at him with slightly watery eyes. a string of precum and saliva connects your bottom lip and his tip, and when it breaks, you’re acutely aware of the mixture dripping down your chin and onto your nightgown. it’s no matter.

jeno’s thumb runs over your scalp, just above the bottom of your skull. you close your eyes momentarily to take in a deep breath. 

“you can force yourself down my throat, you know,” your voice is raspy when you speak, eyes fluttering open almost drearily. “i’m not too delicate for it.”

there’s something simultaneously raw and pure about the way you speak, and jeno recognizes that your headspace has changed, just a little. your need truly is all-encompassing now. he must tread more delicately than usual.

there’s so much love, so much adoration in your wide-eyed gaze. he only wishes to return it with the same intensity and double the care. 

“i know, love,” jeno responds, finally moving his hand in order to place two fingers under your chin. he tilts your face up, taking note of the way your eyes run over his tattoo before looking at his chin, then his jaw, then his nose, then his forehead, until, finally, you land on his eyes. you’re a tad bit unfocused, full of need, but that’s okay. you’ll always come back to him. he continues speaking. “you’re so strong. always so strong for me. that’s why you deserve to be rewarded, yes?”

“rewarded?” you’re confused, to say the least, though you do not dislike the direction jeno is suddenly moving towards. he only smiles, gentle and kind and good and yours. all yours. 

“on the bed, (name).” he tilts his own head, jutting his chin towards the bed you’d slid off of earlier. you don’t hesitate to follow, pushing yourself up onto your feet and all but scrambling backwards to be seated against the soft mattress. the blankets are all haphazard and the pillows aren’t straight, but that’s the least of your worries right now. jeno gives no other orders, only stepping closer and, without warning, winding his arms underneath your thighs and propelling you backwards, causing you to land, back flat, in the center of your bed. 

it had always felt inescapably large when you’d slept in it alone. now, it feels welcoming. safe. 

“you’re ready for me, yes?” the tone of voice jeno uses is soft, even as his rough palms push apart your thighs. you nod, murmuring a small ‘yes’ once you realize he’s waiting for you to verbalize your thoughts. this is all jeno needs to climb onto the bed and move in between your spread legs, settling back on his calves as his hands smooth over your hip bones and waist. it’s evident that he’s bent on taking his time with you tonight, likely under the illusion that that is what you want. 

it is not what you want. it is most definitely not what you need. 

“i need you within me, lionheart,” one of your hands clutches at the sheets beneath you while you stretch the other towards your lover, imploring. “soon. now. please.”  

“absolutely impatient,” jeno only chuckles in return, drawing an indignant whine forth from the base of your throat. he looks over your barely covered body once more before finally - almost in slowed motions as if to tease you further - rising up onto his knees. his hands stop moving against your skin, finally circling around the soft meat of your upper thighs. swiftly and fluidly, jeno pulls your body towards his, wrapping your legs around his own waist. his wet cock lies heavy against your pelvis, leaving slick precum against the apex of your thighs and the bottom of your stomach. he smirks. “is this what you wanted?” 

the motion of being pulled into your knight had forced the air from your lungs in a surprised yelp, and the feeling of his warm skin - he’s always supplied so much heat, it baffles you to no end - against your own momentarily blanks your mind. jeno repeats his question twice, cocky grin growing with each utterance, before you nod vigorously and sputter out something vaguely affirmative. yes. yes, this is exactly what you wanted, exactly what you want. 

you’ve been growing steadily wetter the longer your foreplay had drawn out, but jeno, ever-caring, still pulls back - his cock sliding against your thigh has you moaning - to slip two thick fingers into you, adding a third when he’s absolutely sure that you can take it. in no time at all, you’re grinding your clit against his rough palm, the friction absolutely heavenly. jeno makes no move to stop you, only gently forcing his fingers in deeper. 

a fourth finger is added just as your abused clit can’t take anymore, and you spasm on his hand as you fall past the point of no return. your second orgasm of the night washes over you, and you can’t help the muted but harried gasps you let out as your hips buck up, driving your head back into the mattress. jeno draws his fingers out slowly, licking your essence off of them with practiced ease. once your body has calmed down, you can only let out a small whimper, still basking in the intensity you’ve just experienced. 

jeno knows your limit, and knows damn well that you haven’t reached it yet. it’s because of this that, even as your walls are still clenching around nothing due to aftershocks that wrack your body, he places the fat head of his cock against your hole and slowly but surely slides in. the hands on your thighs move up to wrap around the sides of your waist, and his grip is bruising as he pushes deeper and deeper. even as he goes at a snail’s pace, you feel as if you’re being pulled apart only to be pieced back together again. you hold your breath.

jeno is halfway in when he realizes you still aren’t quite wet enough. he shifts slightly, carefully moving one of your legs up just a little bit higher, before swiping over your raw clit with a thumb he’s wetted with his own tongue. a moan flies forth from your mouth immediately, and a gush of wetness coats jeno’s cock anew as he circles over your bud with abandon. he’s finally free to surge forward and bury himself within your warm walls without fear of repercussions on your own body… so he does. the breath you’d been holding in is punched out of you, replaced with an honest-to-god wail. tears bud at the corners of your eyes at the stretch, falling as he pulls out almost entirely and slams into you again. 

jeno does everything in his life in order to live up to the name you’ve given him: lionheart. he is just and loyal and thoughtful as an advisor, and analytical and fearsome and ruthless as a warrior. sex is where both sides of him meet. it is where he is not just the kingdom’s bravest knight, or the crown’s right-hand man. it is where he is your lionheart, and yours alone, where your souls intertwine at the place your bodies meet. 

he notices how your hands come up to reach for him, leaning down so you can place one hand against his heart - against his tattoo - and throw the other one over his other shoulder. jeno’s nose is almost touching yours, though your bodies shift continuously as he keeps drawing back and driving his hips into yours with force.

he never ceases to make you feel full. 

your walls grip his cock tightly, amplifying every movement jeno indulges you in. the slide is slick and wet and perfect, but it is not easy. the head of his dick catches on your clenched walls every time he pulls out just to slam back in, forcing you to feel him with everything you have. it’s exactly what you want. 

he slows down his thrusting for a moment as he moves forward slightly, leaning closer still as he places one forearm against your head and raises his other hand to fondle your chest over your sheer clothing. somehow, this is no longer enough for you. jeno’s cock is fully sheathed within you as he swipes a thumb over one of your nipples, and the feeling of his skin pushing the cloth against one of your most sensitive areas has you shuddering in a way that causes you to squeeze even tighter around him. his hips stutter slightly, driving him impossibly deeper into you.

“jeno,” you rasp out, tongue heavy and dry. “my pillow. beneath my pillow.”

his eyes go wide as he processes what you’ve just said, his shallow thrusts slowing down. jeno gulps audibly. 

“your- love, your dagger?”

“need you to touch me.” you respond, holding his gaze and watching it clear up from confused to comprehending you entirely. he pushes himself up from his forearm to his hand, sliding out of you in the same movement. you whine sadly at the loss of contact, but jeno mutters a good-natured ‘be quiet’ almost immediately. 

“you know,” he starts, voice teasing, even as he pulls your dagger - black steel, quillions and hilt encrusted with blue jewels, black tempered glass at the pommel - out from beneath your pillow using the hand that had been fondling you earlier. he moves back down to his prior position, and your breath hitches as he presses the apex of the knife against the collar of your nightgown. “i’m already touching you.”

“more,” you moan out, the end of your word coming out almost breathlessly. one of your hands slides against his tattoo once more, as if feeling the lion will make it roar to life. “touch me more.” 

jeno chuckles, albeit darker than he had been earlier, and digs the dagger into the cloth in front of it without any further ado. you hold your breath willfully this time, not wanting to actually nick yourself on the blade, as he moves down your body, cutting the sheer gown open down its direct center. your lionheart dots his lips against your flesh in a trail in his wake, scraping his teeth against your skin as he sees fit. 

he leaves a quick, but filthy, kiss against your clit for good measure, eyes lighting up as you attempt to close your legs around his head on impulse, only to have them pushed apart even farther than before by his strong hands. once he gets to the hem of the slip, he throws your dagger somewhere on the stone floor - neither of you pay any heed to where it clatters - and rips it apart with his bare hands, hardly able to bear not feeling you around him for much longer. 

before you can do anything or say anything or even think anything at all, your lover surges forward and presses himself back into you with a grunt that sounds almost like a growl. his hands knead at your thighs as he finds his rhythm with ease, pounding into you with practice as if you’re an art medium and he’s a skilled master. he’s everywhere, all around you and inside of you and in the air and in your skin, and it’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“touching - ha - touching you enough now?” he asks, resolve crumbling bit by bit as he fights to keep himself from tumbling over the cliff’s edge before you do. you can’t dignify him with a response, unable to do anything but claw at his back and pin yourself further against his chest as if it’ll make even more room for you in his heart than there already is. he doesn’t need a response, anyways. jeno already knows. 

he knows just how close you are, too. just as close as he is. it’s because of this that jeno moves a hand up to curl around your throat just as he circles your clit with two fingers of the other hand, continuing to fuck into you at the same rate as best he can. with a sharp cry and the arching of your back off the bed, you clench around him for one final time before he comes to a halt, barely holding himself up over you as he releases within you with a shuddering, gasping groan. 

moments pass, stretching into longer than they typically are. jeno takes care as he slides out of you, climbing onto the bed and flopping down next to you right after. the feeling of his release, sticky and wet against your inner thighs, is unpleasant at best, but you can’t bring yourself to clean up just yet. instead, you turn your head to your side, your nose immediately brushing against jeno’s sternum as you realize that he’s turned his entire body towards your own. he lets out an airy laugh at the sensation, pushing half of the sliced cloth off of your body in order to run a wide open palm down your naked side. 

“good?” he speaks first, asking an arbitrary question. ‘good enough to make you forget?’ is what he means, knowing full well that you could never lose thought of what awaits the two of you. the sentiment is what’s important, though, and you let out an agreeable hum as a reply. the sex itself was great, of course. he’s well aware. 

“sleep, lionheart,” you say just as silence attempts to cloak the two of you. “we must be ready soon, as it is.”

jeno gives you no response, and you do not require one from him. instead, he pulls you even closer into his chest as if doing so will protect you from the crithagians across your kingdom. his entire world rests between his arms. you are both tired enough that sleep forces your eyelids closed swifter than expected, and as you fall asleep to your lover’s slowed breathing and muted heartbeat, you can’t help but, just this once, allow your worries to slip off your body as your torn nightgown does. 

just before the rise of the sun, jeno will have to get out of bed and clean you up as best he can before donning his clothing, his armor, and his cape. you’ll put his helmet upon his head, pull his visor down over his face after sharing a kiss that could be your last. it is always like this. jeno will rouse the army, you will dress and arm yourself, and meet with your own private troops. 

as the sun begins to take its place in the morning sky, luckily opposite your gaze, jeno will lead his people into battle, riding his steed far, far from you. you will watch him go, but he will not look back. doing so is unfortunate luck at best. you’ve ingrained this into his mind. 

you do not know whether he will be back or not.

you desperately need him to come back.

all of that will happen in due time, but now, you drift to dreamland, safe in the arms of the man you’ve sworn to be with until the end. he tightens his hold around you, and that is how you spend the night before battle, in total comfort and full of love. no matter what tomorrow brings, at least you have this now. at least you will always have this moment. 

the lionheart and his liege. your lionheart and his love. 

for now, you are at peace in the calm before the storm.