#slightly better today
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So I think I might have organ failure or something because I was sweating and panting and in horrendous pain all over my torso last night 💀 It was mostly like some sort of really bad stabbing pain in my ribs and stomach, and lower back. I also had a horrific fever
All I could do was take a hot bath and try to sleep it off
I ended up sweating through the whole bed and sleeping way past my alarm (don't worry, I called in sick the night before because I was worried I'd be violently ill)
Now it feels a little better, except I woke up in a panic thinking that I should be at work until I remembered that I called in sick
Honestly though, it still kind of hurts a little bit.
Should I be concerned?
I can't sext someone or set up dates while my inner organs feel like I've been poisoned 😭😫
#ash questions#ash rambling#health concerns#illness#i feel nauseous#slightly better today#but still gross
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Woke up this morning and did not want to get out of bed. It’s too hot. Just wanna stay home in my pajamas and play PS5.
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☀️ IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! 🌙
This is my gift to myself :) I drew my favorite guys ever.
For a while I've been itching to draw the wedding outfits from this post again. I made them up on the fly as I was drawing, but I actually really like how they ended up turning out. They're super cute!! (though, yet again, you can't see almost any part of Dedede's outfit... 💔)
But then I couldn't get it out of my head to make a companion piece for it, with their mirror versions. And so. I did. What they have going on is a little bit messy, though...
Marriage or divorce!! Take your pick.
#kirby#kirby series#meta knight#king dedede#metadede#dark meta knight#shadow dedede#mirror metadede#i do like mirror mtdd. like a lot. but poor planning ahead with hcs and ocs caused them to end up. kind of doomed in my thing lol#maybe i'll go in depth about it one day. as much as i can anyway. i haven't fully figured it out myself#my art#couple details:#mk's tooth gaps are probably one of my favorite parts of his drawing. they're just so cute i'm so glad i knocked his teeth out#while mtdd is on Non Descript Happy Place mirror mtdd is specifically in the dimension mirror level from katam and ktd#just slightly. sparklier and shinier. because that's just how i do things. and without the buildings#i did try to add them but it made everything busier than it already was#mirror mtdd's faces are obscured on purpose but if you look closely you can catch a peek of dmk's expression through his veil#which! it's meant to be kind of like a widow's veil.. symbolism and what not#i couldn't think of what the opposite of a star was so i did hearts (for the plating. cheeks. and pauldrons)#i fucked up the rings.. because i got my lefts and rights confused..#but i kept it Anyway because it looked cool. i'm sorry though it's so annoying once you notice#i still have the flats and a better look at ddd's outfit (and a Little of sddd's face)#so maybe i'll post that later#i think that's about it#i'm 20 today :) sigh. the passage of time#god the way this has been crunched sickens me. don't look closer actually
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taking it hour by hour at this point
#feeling. slightly better. holding on#it’s not entirely the election. but it adds to a growing feeling of things being out of my control#i am an impatient person and i live in the future and the past but never the present. its my biggest fault#but i am trying to breathe and not distasterize over and over again#i skipped class again today. i didn’t have the energy. but im learning its okay sometimes to not overwork myself
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jadetham sabzeruz festival looks windblume / lantern rite
#— 𝓼𝓹𝓾𝓷 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓼𝓲𝓵𝓴#OMG i made these so last minute because the original file didn’t save AT ALL ! T T so it’s not as good as i hoped it would be but whatever!#i also didn’t realize today is the last day of the event O: so hurray for brushing by at the last minute yet again !!! HAHA#anywho…2 slightly different versions because i couldn’t decide ! the second one has the swirly from the event ui but i didn’t Love it ? idk#nothing too crazy because it’s nahida’s birfday :3 and also i think the rose braids are cute !#and i tried to keep the color scheme within the same sphere as the festival !#unintentional — but in hindsight….these outfits are giving house martell and tyrell muahahha just like in my GoT hcs#and also !#i looked at my old windblume + lantern rite versions n i think i’ve gotten sm better at these LOL mayb i’ll redo them if i have time hehe#⋆.༦࿑ོ⁺ 𓂃 𝓳𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓶
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Day 27 of offseason gifs - In The Room S02E05
#bored in a training session so we’re very early today#HUGE huge thank you to mvp icedbatik for providing some slightly better quality video! end of s2 is a struggle they filmed it on a potato#kris letang#in the top gif is maybe the best shot of this whole season?#sidney crosby#marc andre fleury#evgeni malkin#pittsburgh penguins#luce's gifs#itr gifs#s2 gifs
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One year since I celebrated One year of my They Might Be Giants era so here's a doodle I made then to accompany my 3-pages-long essay about it all, hehe
#i almost forgot it was today!#honestly these dates are pretty arbitrary anyway. but you gotta go with Something#how nice that my sparks & tmbg anniversaries are right next to each other#my art#i got slightly better at drawing since then#but honestly ending up with anything that i didn't hate completely was already a big achievement for that time#you might be able to spot that jf was supposed to be smoking a pipe at first#but for whatever reason i erased it! idk why that would've been pretty on point#and yes this is full of specific songs references. should be pretty easy to spot#(and also album references and all that)#tmbg#they might be giants
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Diversity win! I’m bisexual and I’m going to kill you!
POV: You decided to test your luck with the Vessel of Set and aren’t having a very good time.
#my art#vtm#vampire the masquerade#my characters#illustration#Solomon#chewing through my wip pile at high velocity today don’t overthink it just finish it!!!#4 pieces finished today lets goooo#anyways I’ve been musing on this piece of Solomon and speicifally his tattoos#his eyes and the tattoos brighter than the thin sliver of moon in the sky#your blood slightly glowing on the daggers as they feed on your vitae#I’d say better luck next time but he’s definitely gonna diablerize whoever just got chased into the alley lol#follower of set#Setite#VtM oc#wod oc#world of darkness#vampire
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Dang, being nonhuman really is just like being trans, where I look back at my life and go, "Ohhhhhhhh, so THAT'S where it came from." It's easy for me to fall into the habit of thinking, "Well I just found this new label but I don't want it to infiltrate my whole life." But... it already has. All those moments pretending to be a cat on the playground, making fake "dog packs" with my friends, wrestling with my dog and laying next to her as if I was just another pup, attaching to my dog and cat stuffed animals, making dog-like noises to supplement my words, pretending I had (and still have) a tail to wag when I wanted, shaking out my "fur" and huffing just because I "liked mimicking my dog"—those were all my nonhumanity shining through. Me identifying with the nonhuman/therian label isn't an outliner, it's just the trend.
#I guess today's just a Therian day#I'm having lots of thoughts about it and it's literally the only thing I can think about so here ya go I guess#“I want to make a long post today” too bad all you can think about is dogs and therianthropy#which is for a reason but I'll make another post about that later today (I have the draft up just editing)#anyways sappy thoughts about therianthropy time#I'm so glad I found this label it's so nice#honestly I feel like if I'd found it sooner I still would've identified with it#just because the accuracy just hits different#and it's so cool seeing other folks feeling the same way#(or feeling slightly different feelings but identifying with the label which is even more fascinating)#so happy I got Tumblr cause all the cool posts my friends were linking were on there#has ultimately enriched my life for the better <3#alterhuman#nonhuman#otherkin#therian#dogkin#dog therian#huskykin#husky therian#(everytime I use these tags I get a rush of dopamine !!!)
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fuck any job interviewer that's like "so how much money do you expect to be paid for this position"
idk dawg??? as much as you're willing to give me??? don't make me play "do i lowball it and risk getting underpaid or highball it and risk not getting hired" mind games. i did not come here to play the fucking price is right. you're the one writing the paychecks here.
#eliot posts#i had THREE job interviews today#the first two were good and the interviewers told me outright about the pay and benefits packages#the third one interrogated me and made me play salary mind games#the second place pays Slightly better but the first place seems like a less grueling work environment#they both seemed really interested in hiring me but the first one seemed even more interested#my only struggle is looking for employee references bc i haven't had a job in Years
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youtube
Youtube compression made this SO CRUSTY that it's basically not even worth publishing, and i really doubt re-rendering in a slightly higher quality will improve the visuals much at all because of all the... well, the everything.
BUT i'm posting it anyway since i went through the effort to record all of these and edit them together! All the Giant Clam Stage performances from backstage perspective (you can do this with the OOB clip that was discovered). i love all the performances this fest.
Hopefully someone else does this compilation better, if they havent already lol
#grand festival#s3#giant clam stage#i was going to leave it to render at a higher quality overnight just to try but. thunderstorm. so never mind#my wrist is also slightly better so probably big things today#Youtube
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#I couldn't celebrate thanksgiving today#I ended up getting a migraine#and I still have to go to work tomorrow#so have this same image again but with normal color instead of the gloomy ones#fire emblem#soren#tellius#and now I go back to comics because I feel slightly better finally
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really really bad chuck e i just drew
#cec#chuck e cheese#tux chuck#mart#i hate drawing his dumb little hat. sorry that was a little mean#maybe one day i'll post slightly better art. today is not that day however
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“og 4 aliens very particular vibe in being ‘three distinct flavours of socially awkward loner and also valentino rossi’” LMAO I WAS JUST THINKING THIS!!!!!! That he has the funniest possible 3 foils in that era bc like…those three guys could not be less his vibe ~personality wise if they tried. And actually tbf I do think they WERE trying a lot of the time. Feeling very curious if you think there’s anything to the idea of how Marc was the first alien-era rival he had who was more on his level all around? Like early days Marc was kind of just 😀😀😀 all the time but I do think he can be v charming and is clearly extroverted as hell (tho like…notably also a loner but like…not by choice??). Like idk where im going w this but the contrast is interesting to me. IDK
to some extent! I'm not sure I'd necessarily call marc an extrovert, you can be charismatic and cheerful without being an extrovert - but also this is splitting hairs. the og four aliens are one guy who's on the 'roughly as extroverted as you can possibly get as a professional athlete' end of the spectrum and three guys who are on the 'roughly as introverted as you can possibly get as a professional athlete' end. now, tbh, I don't think valentino massively minded this. he's extroverted but crucially he's also got enough charm going for him that he could get his rivals to chat with him if he was so inclined. he had an increasingly friendly relationship with dani, there's real genuine warmth in how both of them talk about each other - ultimately dani might have been quite sullen and withdrawn in general, especially in his early years, but he got on well with valentino. casey and valentino had perfectly decent interpersonal chemistry, they got on well, and tbh they were still warm with each in-person long past the point where that relationship had rhetorically soured. with jorge... I mean, okay, no chemistry there, but that was also very much valentino's choice. I do not fundamentally doubt valentino's ability to charm twenty year old jorge lorenzo. I think just because they were DIFFERENT characters, that doesn't necessarily mean they weren't valentino's *type* personality-wise, like he does seem to be happy enough to be the chatty one who draws them out of their shells in that scenario. unless competitive necessity requires otherwise!! but as marc discovered, somewhat higher levels of extroversion does not protect you if that's the case
I will say I know you do put alien-era as a caveat, but it is still important to point out that marc is very much not the first valentino rival who doesn't fall in the introverted loner camp. valentino had a rival who matched his vibe!! who he had a real proper off-track friendship with, who he went on holidays with, who he had a warm relationship with for substantially longer than the marc/valentino honeymoon lasted. I think you can see the early marc era as a bit of a return to the friendlier vibes of the early noughties, but crucially it is a return. the early noughties was the last gasp before the sport came to be completely dominated by a bunch of young prodigies who had been moulded into perfect athletes and had less chance to grow into people outside of the sport - valentino is already part of that camp in everything but temperament, cf the contrast with biaggi. in the early noughties, he was surrounded by a bunch of older riders who varied dramatically in disposition... biaggi was the guy everyone had issues with, capirossi was always fond of valentino, kr jr he got on well with, he played a mentoring role for in hayden's rookie season... and of course, most importantly, the friendship with sete - now there's an obscenely friendly rivalry right until the very moment when it isn't. 2013-14 is a bit of a return to that more congenial climate, but at the end of the day that lot were still less likely to socialise than riders were back in the day. they just didn't have the time lol
so yeah, I mean. valentino clearly did take to marc on a personal level, and marc is definitely closer to valentino on the introversion/extroversion spectrum than the three other aliens are. though that is also... not difficult. there is something quite funny about how 2006-07 went from valentino's pov. the engine regs changed, valentino literally blinked and suddenly all his opps were toddlers. went from goofing off with capirossi on the sepang 2006 podium to running a daycare centre overnight. and marc is part of that! it's also a massive change in that suddenly, valentino was surrounded by rivals who had been influenced by watching him ride as they grew up and were all really, really, really weird about him. marc with his little bike collection, jorge with his dabbling in pseudoscientific schools of psychology, casey and his championship-winning shirt, dani... well, tbf, I do actually think dani was pretty normal about valentino - probably because he'd known him the longest. had gotten drunk with valentino in the days when the bloke was just an idol and not a god. which is an underrated reason why the dani/valentino relationship never got so weird imo, one that goes beyond competitive calculus - dani was the most capable of interacting with valentino as just another guy. with all three of marc/jorge/casey, that idolisation dynamic does contribute significantly to the interpersonal turmoil
but that's a topic for another day! in conclusion, marc defo the dispositionally cheeriest foil of the alien lot, albeit somewhat by default, and WAS part of the reason why motogp got a bit of a mood lift in that 2013-14 period after what had just been a dire few years vibes-wise. mediocre racing, devastation caused by the financial crisis, tragedy... motogp was feeling quite lifeless in 2011-12 in particular, and those years do have a bit of a drab energy to them. in that sense, what followed was a bit of a reversion to the mean until the vibes completely went off the cliff. have they ever recovered? who can say
#20 yr old jorge lorenzo prob could've been charmed with two compliments and a hug like fundamentally it's not that hard. send me in chief#I think I'm slightly off the extrovert marc train because me and bikefuckersoftheworldunite (well mainly not me)#have recently stumbled across a bunch of old pressers primarily from 2004#and. brother. the vibes were very different back then#i do fairly regularly watch thursday pressers during the year and let's just say it's a contrast from watching pecco marc and jorge -#- discover new exciting ways of examining dust particles three metres to the left of each others' heads#and marc's not just like that with his actual rivals!! he supposedly 'likes' 'bastianini' and that's not exactly flowing chitchat is it#this wasn't just a valentino thing either. guys back then just talked more idk what to tell u#casey would repeatedly stab me for this and i am SORRY king i am a gutter-born philistine with poor morals and wretched taste#but this is also why you desperately needed valentino in the alien era. like you need somebody to get these guys talking#but crucially i think it's a great contrast!! i think it's sweet when dani and casey discover speech and beam at valentino!!#i also don't think valentino massively minded friendly!casey like again the basic chemistry really wasn't ever the issue#//#brr brr#alien tag#batsplat responds#vale said in mid 2008 that his relationship with his rivals (read: dani/casey) was more 'normal' than in the past which is incredible stuff#given the generational acts of psychological and also literal terrorism he was about to commit#but yeah i mean aside from some barbs in the media that three-way dynamic was pretty all right. they did have fun together#honestly even those pressers probably had substantially better vibes than the stuff today. where ARE the messy extroverts#farewell aleix </3 last of a bygone era
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sorry for disappearing my health has been really bad :(
#꒰ ✒️ : cielle's diary ꒱#i swear i tried working on the lino wip but most of my free time has been spent knocked out to help me recover#if i dont get better soon we're actually considering getting me admitted to the hospital already#cause it feels like theres no progress at all + somehow it got worse today (my fever wont go away totally)#anyway i wish i get better soon cause this really isnt it and its been weeks since i last released smth im going insane slightly
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what happened last time danandphilshop announcement-wise cannot happen again no countdown to give us anxiety is somehow worse like there has to be a video today to officially reveal it right. RIGHT
#I need this so badly today#im feeling Bad overall and trying to do chores to make it slightly better#but daniphiw#dnp#dan and phil#phan
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