#sky blue is one of my fave colours

[eiseryn]

Soul colour quiz

My friend and mutual @tomatoderby was doing this and tagged me so I did my best here. It seemed interesting XD

I unfortunately don't have anyone to tag but if you stumble on this then feel free to do so :) I tag you, the person viewing it, if you haven't done it yet.

"Fluffy clouds. Gentle breezes. Greek islands. Your soul is sky: a symbol of freedom, hope, and limitless possibilities. You move through life with a lightness and joy, your spirit open and expansive. Your presence brings a breath of fresh air, refreshing and invigorating those around you. You embody optimism and dreams, encouraging others to look beyond their horizons and believe in the boundless potential within them. Your approach to life is carefree yet thoughtful, finding beauty in the vast and the infinite. In your eyes, the world is a canvas of opportunities, ready to be painted with the colors of your imagination."

I'm pleasantly surprised because sky blue is probably my favourite colour of blue! :) You can tell I like it lot based on the theme colours of lots of my main OCs... I really like blue in general. But I've always been particularly drawn to the sky and I really like watching it/ taking pictures of it. When I go to places I often look at the sky and see the colour. Sometimes my mood is instantly uplifted just by seeing a blue sky and fluffy white clouds! Although the blurb seems a bit more hopeful and ethereal than I've been feeling as of late, I imagine this is my soul colour if my head wasn't full of thoughts 😅

Credit for the images (shout out to tomatoderby for helping me find some haha 🤣) I tried but some of them might not the original owners :/

Blue door from Ren on pinterest

Sky picture with clouds from siz on pinterest

Popsicle from Tamara Groj on pinterest

Nemophila by chuck b. on flickr

crater lake by Shutterbug Fotos on flickr

snowy desert drive by Grand canyon national park on flickr

Aquamarine by Orbital Joe on flickr

Blue oranges from this tumblr post

I spent too long on this 🤡🤡🤡 gotta get back to work now. It was too fun orz

[hobie-enthusiast]

LITTLE CREATIONS !

— ‘Omgg if you're down and it spikes your creativity!! Could I request a Hobie little writing with a gn!reader who likes doodling on stick papers and sticking them on Hobie's guitar when he isn't looking? And one day he catches them red-handed? Just plain fluff tbh <33’

— hobie brown x gn!reader

— lots of fluff, just cute relationship stuff, some cutesy hc’s at the end too

— hobie knew where the mysterious stickers were coming from, but he just never wanted to stop it

— this is adorable oh my god. im such a sucker for cutesy relationship stuff. the creativity just flowed for this so well (directly reuploaded from my old acc @/hobieenthusiast)

Hobie was very attentive to the things he loved.

He was possessive over those things. You were a perfect example. Now that he has you, he never wants to let you go. His friends are another example. The Spider-people he’s grown to enjoy were something he would never trade.

His guitar was yet one more example of Hobie’s possessive nature.

He never truly allowed anyone to touch it. His instrument was what he used to make art. He’s had it since he was a young teen, the paint was chipping and many stickers he’s created or been gifted littered the body.

So he obviously noticed when new stickers started showing up.

The first creation he noticed was a small night sky, with star constellations being the focus. The constellations were Pleiades and Taurus, thought Hobie couldn’t name them off the top of his head. It was charmingly drawn, and stuck right underneath the strings.

He had his suspicions of you drawing it the first time he noticed it. He knew you liked to doodle in a small notebook, so you were his first thought.

The next one after that was a spiked butterfly. The butterfly had some out-of-the-lines green colouring, with spikes coming from the wings. It was a really nice drawing that Hobie appreciated, and was yet another sign it was drawn by you.

After that, he found some stickers of his favourite band logos, little star sketches, his logo as spider-man, and so many more. All those building up and covering the original colour and decal of the guitar.

Hobie didn’t mind the drawings. Actually, it was quite the opposite. He looked forward to seeing what you were gonna create next.

Whenever he’s over at your place, he’ll purposefully leave the room for a little to give you time to stick them. He notices your silly grin when he comes back, at his cluelessness when he takes his guitar home.

Little did you know.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Hobie sat on your bed, strumming mindlessly on his guitar. You sat over at your desk as you sketched and doodled on some stick paper. Music played in the background softly, a mixture of your faves and Hobie’s as well.

Hobie sighs, placing his guitar at the end of the bed. “‘m gonna go grab a drink.”

You nod as he passes, ruffling your hair as he leaves the room. You glance over to see if he left before smiling softly, standing and walking to his guitar.

Carefully, you peel your doodles from the sticker sheet, finding open spaces to place them on. These new ones were of his cross logo on the back of his Spider-man jacket, as well as a small spider hanging on a web. They were coloured with blue and red splotches in the background.

You put the first one on, admiring how it fits so well with the others. Like a puzzle piece. You reach for the second one, ready to stick it on, when..

“Well well. Seems ’ve caught the culprit.”

You turn around, sticker still in hand as you laugh nervously. “And here I thought I had more time.”

Hobie gives his signature smirk as he walks to you, taking the sticker from your hand. He observes it, noticing the beautiful red and blue splotches behind the spider.

“Sorry if you haven’t liked ‘em.” You say as he stands there, still observing. “You never really said much about them so I assumed you didn’t mind and that it was okay but if it’s not I can always stop and-”

Hobie chuckles, stopping you. “[Name]. Never said I didn’t like ‘em, aye? Actually quite like ‘em.”

“Really?”

Hobie nods as he places the sticker on his guitar, smoothing it out. It blends well with the others, bringing yet more charm to the cluster and disorganized mess. Something Hobie absolutely enjoys.

“Why don’t you tell me about ‘em?” He asks while sitting back on the bed. “Been curious ‘bout the constellations for ‘while now.”

“The constellations..” You start, tracing the design on his guitar. “They were in the air March 18th and April 24th. Pleiades and Taurus.”

Hobie’s eyes widen for a moment. “Well now that’s..”

“Our first date.” You finish with a soft smile. You glance up at him. “And the day we became official. Or the day you decided you like some labels.”

Hobie rolls his eyes. “An’ that’s a secret ‘tween you and me.”

You continue to tell him about the different doodles you drew. You explained the thought process behind them all, going into the colour schemes and why you chose those specifically.

The entire time Hobie couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He thought you were mesmerizing, the way you talked about something so passionately.

“…and with the letters I tried capturing how rebellious it’s supposed to look, kind of like your jacket.” You finish, pointing the last one out.

Hobie nods, hand taking yours. “They’re all well done. Ya gotta keep makin’ ‘em.”

You smile and nod excitedly, already thinking of the next designs you have for Hobie’s guitar.

Maybe Hobie’s earlier rule about never letting anyone touch his guitar had its exceptions. After all, rules were always meant to be broken in his eyes.

— after he confirms that it’s you putting the stickers on, he insists on watching you draw them

— you’ll sit on his lap and aimlessly doodle in your stick paper notebook as you lean back against his chest

— you ask for his opinion, but he always assures you they look perfect

— “that one ‘s well drawn, sweetheart”

— “you’re so talented, darlin’”

— “can’t wait for everyone to see ‘em”

— he’s practically your biggest supporter

— also don’t be surprised if one day he gets one of the doodles you stuck on his guitar tattooed on him

— what can he say? he’s obsessed with anything you give him

— he will also let everyone know who the amazing artist behind his stickers are

— “yeah? my amazin’ partner drew ‘em. they’re one of a kind”

— hobie will always anticipate new stickers from you, even after his guitar is filled

— please just start stacking them after that

— hobie’s completely obsessed with you and any reminder of you on his weapon of art is something to die for in his eyes

[bloodiedrogue]

IN SHADES OF BLUE

PAIRINGS: Jotun! Loki Laufeyson & Female Reader

SUMMARY: Loki reveals to you the parts of himself he hates the most. 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

WORD COUNT: 3,061

A/N: Another fic from my previous account! A little rough around the edges but still a fave of mine so I thought I’d give it a quick edit and repost. :)

MASTERLIST

-

“What’s your favourite colour?” he asks, plain and simple —trivial almost— so much so that it makes you scrunch up your face; lips and nose contorting into an expression of disapproval that makes his eyes roll.

Under the silken sheets, your body ruined under his touch as his fingers trail patterns over the bareness of your hips and thighs, you don’t fully get why he’s asking. You’ve only just met; hours before, in the corner of the bar. He approached you and you reciprocated his interest and the rest was just boring old history, so why does he care what colours make you happy?

“I don’t know,” you say, even though you have an answer. Everybody does regardless of what they tell themselves because colours have meanings —representations, you decide, sitting there, watching as he pulls away and positions himself on his back. 

Despite your better judgment, when he moves you immediately crave his touch and the way his skin seems to cool your own, prompting you to follow him wordlessly, placing your chin on his chest. “How about you?”

“What about me?” He raises his brow and looks towards you, a small smile absentmindedly creeping across his lips.

“What’s your favourite colour?” 

Whatever yours is, he thinks, because truthfully he doesn’t care anymore. After everything he lost interest in caring for things that made him happy, because feelings like that don’t last and neither does beauty, so why would he stop to think and choose a favourite colour?

He doesn’t have time for that.

“I don’t think I have one.” It’s a poor excuse for an answer, both of you know it, which is why when you deeply sigh against his chest, the air from your lips fanning across his skin, he can’t help but swallow hard and look away, feeling almost guilty.

Which doesn’t make sense, because you’ve just met. Your opinion is nothing in the grand scheme of things, yet something in his chest pulls him to feel hurt by your response.  

“Everybody has one.” 

“I’m not sure that’s true.” 

“No?” 

He shakes his head and moves his hand to your hair, running his fingers through it. It’s softer than anything he’s ever felt, like silk. “You don’t, apparently.” 

You bite back a smirk, angling your face away from his, knowing that this is his way of calling your bluff.  “I mean, maybe I do,” you admit, feeling the pads of his fingers make work of your roots, their strength digging into your scalp so effortlessly that without even thinking you give in to the pressure and close your eyes.

“Tell me then.”

You hum in response and focus on the weight of his fingers and how languidly they move through the base of your head, pulling forth a sudden sense of lucidness that makes you grin. “I think I like blue.” 

“Blue,” he practically scoffs, because of course you like blue —everybody likes blue. It’s the colour of the sky and the ocean and all the other things so universally good that even just the thought of it makes him want to crawl out of this bed and wash the entirety of his body. 

Because while blue is known to be a colour of beauty, for Loki it’s merely just another layer of suffocation —a draping of fabric pulled taught against his increasingly brittle frame. Like all his other insecurities, he’s forced to be blue all hours of the day, forever beneath his usual coating of flesh. On the outside, he’s pale and soft to the touch —easily approachable. People like him when he’s not blue, they respect him and take notice of the way he is rather than what he looks like and it’s something he never takes for granted. 

Because deep within the pool of his mind, he often thinks about the difference between the blue he hides and the washed-out, creamy tone he portrays. How would people truly treat him if he were to get rid of the veil? Would they run for their lives as they did on Asgard? Would they hate him and fear him; talking behind his back in hushed tones, or would they direct their repulsion toward his face? 

As much as he hates to admit it, every day he wonders about this. When he’s staring into the mirror with his eyes shining red, he wonders if anyone could ever truly love him like this —with texturized cobalt that’s so cold and untouchable, just like the real him.

He doesn’t think that they could. 

“Do you not like blue?” 

Your voice shifts his thought process, pulling him out of the preverbal depths of his insecurities. Awkwardly he smiles and takes notice of the curiosity in your eyes, visually tracing the way your eyebrows furrow at his lack of response.

“Because everybody likes blue, at least to some degree,” you say after he fails to speak, turning your head so that your ear rests against the centre of his sternum, making it easier for you to hear his rapidly-paced heart. 

“Sure, I suppose.” He shrugs lightly, his shoulders lifting and falling at the same time his previously appointed smile becomes engulfed in the usual scowl he lets loose whenever he’s frustrated or uncomfortable. 

“But not you?” 

He shakes his head, prompting you to narrow your eyes even further, the visibility of your pupils becoming limited as you purse your lips and explore his tells. 

Because despite popular belief, Loki —God of Mischief and Lies— has many tells. Like everyone else, he’s vulnerable to the truth and all its revealing glory, leaving him anxious and overly critical of both his thoughts and movements as you continue to stare, taking in all the details.

Your eyes, much like his, scan everything with an air of caution, slowly moving across his nervous face, causing him to swallow hard and force himself to remain calm because as much as he denies it, moments like these often leave him feeling insecure. 

“Were you afraid of the Smurfs as a kid or something?” Revealing a smiling set of teeth that makes everything within him instantly halt, he’s quickly left with this coating of confusion, because it’s not common for people to make fun of him so flippantly. Or at all really, which is why when it happens he can’t help but laugh —but shake his head before giving in to the desire to lean over and kiss your forehead, trailing cold, chaste kisses across the expanse of your face. 

“No, I’m not afraid of cartoon characters,” he says, and with him you laugh and look up, noticing the back-and-forth look of absence in his eyes. There’s something empty about them as if their blackness isn’t black, but more so bleak —almost empty. Loki’s eyes are sad and lonely and as you look at them, narrowing your own, you can see the bright blue iris shrouded in red; long, lines of crimson that branch out across the white.

“We should sleep,” you say, but Loki just shakes his head again, taking the moment passing to release a deep breath and give your hair a few final run-throughs, his fingers working delicately through the knots that have formed. 

“I want to tell you something, if I may.” 

You’re not sure what he means, but you know it’s important because of the quiet tone of his voice. It’s innocent sounding, small and frail and barely falling from his lips, and immediately it worries you. Sends you into a state of shock that forces you to pull yourself off his chest and reposition in front of him, legs crossed underneath you. 

“What is it?” Swallowing hard, you feel the slick build-up of your anxiety trickle down your throat as you watch his hand reach for your own, each finger taking refuge between the empty spaces as he clears his throat and begins to tell you everything.

Asgard, Midgard, and everything in between —Loki entrusts with you the story of his family and the horror of his upbringing. He tells you of Thor (yes that Thor) and Frigga —of Odin and his kingdom and that fateful day in Jotunheim where Loki was discovered alone in the snow. Cautiously he tells you about his betrayal —his plan to claim the throne and then later, his plan to die. Every detail slipping through his lips is like a reclamation —a perilous journey of memories he’s chosen to take you alongside him as he recounts the details of his mother’s love, his brother’s arrogance, and inevitably his father’s lies.

Loki tells you anything and everything, taking each story and weighing it in his hands before offering it over, hoping that despite the brokenness —his brokenness— that you’ll still find some worth in it. 

Because Loki would be lying if he said he didn’t think of himself as worthless. All his life, even without the constant horror of his underlying blue skin, he’s never felt valued, only valuable. To Odin, he was merely a pawn in the diplomatic affairs of Jotunheim and to Thanos, he was deemed the same for having the Tesseract.

Which fucking sucks, you think, as you watch him rip open his chest and fish out the traumatized organ with tears in his eyes, desperately waiting for you to take it.

So you do. Without question you take it and put it in your hands, watching it pulsate in the base of your palm; the tainted blood of his past dripping down your flesh, coating your skin like syrup. 

Happily, you want to lap it up —want to look him in the eyes and lick his wounds; swallow them up and bury them deep inside your gut so that he never has to look at them again. 

More than anything you want to shield him from the pain and the suffering —want to show him love and support and make it known that just because the past was full of hurt, the future doesn’t have to be as well. 

“Thank-you for telling me.” 

You know he doesn’t need to be thanked —doesn’t need to be praised for telling a stranger the holy terrors of his upbringing. Loki’s a God, the maker of his own destiny, which is evident in the way he perseveres despite the odds constantly working against him. He’s resilient in his efforts, a strong player in whoever’s story he’s managed to become tangled in, which is something you’re not sure he knows because, to you, it seems like he tethers himself to other people. Playing them like fools in his never-ending game of tricks and trades, hoping one day that they’ll figure out how to hate him. 

Because if he can just get them to hate him, perhaps he can be free. Free of the unknown —free of the constant wondering of whether or not he’s worthy of another person’s love. 

Of course, he is, you think, but considering the circumstances, you know he doesn’t know that. 

“I’m not sure why I did, if I’m honest,” he says, staring at your hands, suddenly wishing that he too could experience the normalities of fleshy tones woven over heated insides instead of the icy structures within his own. 

“Strangers are often the best people to tell things to.” 

Raising his brow, he hums in response, hoping that you’ll explain.  

“We’re not tainted with the idea of you; we’re unbiased.” 

“Were unbiased,” he corrects, another scowl crawling across his face, showing you that he knows you’ll think less of him now that he’s told you. 

Which isn’t necessarily true. If anything, it’s almost the opposite; because his telling you, even if the story is tailored to benefit his own viewing, is still a step in the right direction. A step towards healing —towards trust. Because at this moment, Loki trusts you with the weight of his life. He sees you as someone worthy of his truth and that in itself is something you know you can’t take for granted as you pull your hand away from his. 

“Have you ever shown anyone?” Propping yourself onto your knees, you move to straddle his frame, feeling the base of his cock immediately twitch against you. “Your Jotun form, I mean.” 

“Only a select few.”

“Other lovers?” You smirk.

Smirking back, he shakes his head and repositions himself, moving to sit upright against the headboard of your bed, taking your hips in his hands. “Lovers want to love, not to run away in fear.” 

There’s a pause then —a lengthy one filled with nothing, but breathing and touching, Loki’s hands digging into the base of your flesh, desperately kneading themselves into the plush of your sides. Instantly you’re drawn to the feeling, your mind already thinking of a thousand ways to subdue the aching that suddenly presents itself between your thighs as you instinctively press yourself further against him.

“I won’t be like the rest of them,” you find yourself saying, the absence of breath throughout your chest making it hard for you to speak above a whisper. “I won’t fear you.”

“Fear me,” he sarcastically scoffs in response, gripping you tighter, almost as if the very thought of fear ignites something within him —something aggressive and primal. “It’s not the colour of my skin that makes them fear me, darling.” 

After that he slowly blinks, the colour of his eyes flickering from the lightest of blues to the deepest of reds, an image that makes you weak as you reach out to touch his face, realizing that his skin feels colder than before; rigid and rough, the presence of markings becoming visible across his forehead and cheekbones.

Purely out of habit you pull your hand away and narrow your eyes, inspecting the facial structures that continue to form, raising themselves higher off his skin at the same time his flesh begins to darken. All across him wild splotches of blue become present, their positions resembling freshly wet pavement on a rainy day. 

“You look…” Inhaling and exhaling before you can even finish, you quickly find yourself reaching across the empty space, prompting Loki to follow through soundlessly until your lips eventually meet in a frenzy of movements that leave you pulling at each other’s flesh. 

Groaning, Loki reaches for your hair and grips it as his lips messily glide from your mouth to your cheek, then to your chin, eventually ending at the side of your neck where he latches on. As he does you let out a soft moan, your lips widely parting at the feeling of his tongue pressing down against your flesh in between swift bites that leave your skin blooming with bruises. “I could ruin you, you know,” he whispers against them, the formation of his words across your wounds sending you over the edge as you feel him work to lift you onto his cock, holding you steadily against the head.

“Is that a promise or a threat?” 

Before you receive an answer he’s entering you with everything he has, his hardened flesh pushing through your heat in a chorus of throaty gasps as he rocks back and forth, feeling your weight shift as you lean backwards and reach for his thighs. 

Steadying yourself, you grip the tops of them with greedy hands, thumbing the patterns of newly unveiled blue as he repeats his movements, bucking into your wet cunt with a new kind of force that leaves you shaking and grinning because god he’s just so beautiful. 

His body, drenched in lapis, looking like the ocean itself, is stunning and radiant, ebbing and flowing against your Midgardian complexion as you lean forward and envelope his lips again, showing him that he’s worthy. 

He’s worthy and you’re willing and as he pistons into you, your inner walls aching for that last final snap of the band, you can’t help but tell him. Over and over with each passing wave of pleasure, you speak to him in praises, telling him repeatedly how amazing he is and how good he feels and how after everything he’s been through he deserves to feel loved. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Loki,” you tell him, even though you’d much prefer to tattoo it into his skin in shades of navy; a reminder that despite the green he often drapes himself in, blue is truly his colour. 

Opening his mouth to respond, he’s quickly met with your lips again, his words becoming lost behind your teeth and tongue as you swallow his pride and hate and everything that's ever needed to be pulled out of his system. Like a leech, you rip from him the worst parts of his being; the outward flesh that covers his Jotun form that’s been mistreated and left to suffer; the vile words of his father all those years ago; the abuse he experienced under the hands of Thanos. 

And with each new breath, Loki begins to better understand these efforts. Slowly but surely, his mind, once clouded with thoughts of angst and regret, begins to fill with something new entirely —something soft and warm that makes his stomach twist into knots as he fills you up further and further, the sounds of your wanton moans shrouding him in bliss.

At this moment, Loki’s engulfed in ecstasy. He’s elated and delighted; covered in a sense of euphoria he’s never felt before. Hopelessly, he wants to laugh and cry and scream —to take you as you are just as he is he, coated in blue like sapphires and the sky and little robin’s eggs in the spring.

Because right now he’s your favourite colour and he knows it. He knows it because everything to you that’s beautiful is blue and no longer is he the exception. In fact, Loki’s the rule now; an ever-present reminder of just how glorious your favourite colour can appear through the naked eye as it fucks into you, pushing you over the edge until you’re panting and gripping, and asking him to ruin you over and over again. 

He wants to ruin you forever if he can —if it feels like this— because the high he gets from being with you is intoxicating. It’s everything he never dreamed of and as he feels those final twitches press against your insides, he knows it’s all he’ll ever dream of now.

In shades of blue, he’ll dream of only you.  

-

TAGLIST: @lovelysizzlingbluebird​ (if you would like to be added to any of my taglists, fill out this form)

[majorproblems77]

Sacred Realm updated which means im actually so excited to be making this omg

Hi there Sacred Realm fans! :D

It is I, the one who makes the analysis posts on various comics on the internet. (With permission course) Because I love doing them and they bring me joy.

If you are unaware of what Sacred Realm is, it's a Legend of Zelda AU about a new Link who gets a little medallion that makes him a badass, also it can hold the spirits of heroes from across the realms (Including my fave boy ever okay)

Before I begin, I'll get the important stuff done, This is done with permission from @zelda-the-sacred-realm, and all art from the comics belongs to the comic artist. Please do me a favour and go and check it out because it's a wonderful comic and extremely well-drawn and written.

Now, grab some popcorn, and a drink and please enjoy me rambling about a comic that I enjoy so much. :D

Lets begin!

First, some sass

Damn, possessed Link got a mouth on him. Low key I love him, he looks like he could go for round two like right now. Wouldn't be surprised if he went for the hero of time next.

My eyebrows shot up at this.

Time KNOW's

let me repeat that

TIME KNOWS. HE KNOWS WHATEVER IS IN THE MEDALLION CAUSING THIS.

(More on this later)

He knows he knows he knows he knows he knows

I can hear the mocking voice of Link while he is saying this. Time has experience with this particular entity before.

Okay, so here is when it gets interesting.

Possessed Link or this entity I suppose, referring to Time and in turn Hylians as 'Your Race' Tells me a couple of things.

This thing in the medallion isn't a Hylian spirit. So as much and as fun as a dark link theory is, I dont think it could be.

Time arguing that we're not perfect, again referring to Hylians sounds very much like an "I'm speaking with a god speech"

I present my theory on what is in the medallion.

An extra spirit, a god of some description, from the spirit realm. Out to get revenge on Hylians.

Time has been to the spirit realm, in his games. (I am under the assumption that those still occur in this canon please do correct me if I'm wrong here.)

I'm convinced that this thing in the medallion is a deity of some kind because of the eye colour. I can't get over it.

This style of blue, with no pupils.

We've seen it before.

On Hylia.

From Chapter 2 fate PT2

And here is the first time we see it on Link for comparison, With Sky's alongside him for comparison for what Hylian eyes look like.

From Chapter 2 Fate PT3

The colour isn't exact so it can't be Hylia herself I dont think, but, i believe that there is a spirit trying to escape the sacred realm and is using Link to do it.

Okay, enough of my conspiracy theories moving on!

Link you gotta wake up!

Sky thinks so, I love the coloured speech bubble, what a good idea.

OH BOY I LOVE THESE PANELS

You know those scenes in video games when you're fighting off something that's trying to possess you and you have that ominous-sounding echo that seems to reverberate through your head. But is also muffled at the same time?

(If I find a game example I'll link it)

This. Put that noise you think off over this.

KICK ITS BUTT LINK GET IT, GET BACK IN HERE.

These five panels tell so much when it comes to how much effort Link has to go through to fight off the medallion possession. I wonder if its going to be easier or harder for him to fight it off as he gains spirits in the medallion.

You can really feel his struggle and I just love it. The visual storytelling is incredible in this comic and I will fan girl about it all day because I just love it so much

I'm thinking he says this to gauge just how bad this possession is. time seems like the guy who would, especially as he already seems to know what this is.

I wonder if he really is the hero of realms?

Yes, Time. Yes, he is.

The face he dosent remember any time he's possessed by the medallion is a little worrying.

Makes me think that could be used later.

Like, Link dosent remember fighting this ice comet now. What if he fights an enemy while possessed, breaks the possession then has to relearn how to defeat it because as possessed link he's not gained any information.

Man Link is a cinnamon roll sometimes and I love him dearly okay.

Alrighty, thats me finished with my rambling. Thank you so much for sticking with me through this! And thanks again to @zelda-the-sacred-realm for the permission to do these i really appreciate it.

Please please go and check out the rest of the comic if you haven't it's amazing :D

Thats me finished for this chapter, so I'll be headed out!

Hope you have a wonderful day! :D

[sunlightandsuffering]

Fratboy Eren really is a walking red flag, he uses a 3 in 1 body wash, and has a bed with blue navy sheets and no base😭

😈😈 it’s begun anon! Truthfully this is my fave Drabble so far

She hates showering at Eren’s place, because first of all, it’s a fucking frat house which means the bathroom is shared and no one cleans it.

It’s disgusting, deplorable, her uncle would have a conniption if he ever found out she was in vicinity of a shower like this, let alone actually showering in it.

And secondly, Eren is a boy, a walking fucking red flag and his frat house bathroom and bedroom are clear evidence of it.

His bed is composed of a mattress, no bed frame, laid on the floor in the middle of the room, made up with navy sheets that she’s unsure he’s ever washed.

But hey, at least they don’t make much noise when they fuck, because there’s no bed frame for them to shake. She’ll take her victories small and however she can get them.

The bathroom is a different beast itself, shaving cream and toothpaste smeared over the sink, a garbage that remains steadfastly unused, and worst of all, the three-in-one combination shampoo/conditioner/body wash.

It’s atrocious on her hair, her long beautiful silken locks that her mother had raised her to take pride in, to prioritize above all else, because as her mother loved to say, ‘Mikasa, your face is pretty, but your hair is beautiful’.

She had only moderate childhood trauma from the time Eren had snipped an inch off during a sleepover.

So the days that Mikasa has to shower at Eren’s whorehouse frat house, were a different kind of hell for her entirely, especially because they’ve been becoming more frequent.

Originally, she’d simply switched her wash days to compensate, only washing her body with the dreaded three-in-one soap, but lately, she’s been spending more nights than she’d like here and currently she’s on day three of not washing her hair.

It’s becoming greasy, and she’d woken up this morning to glance in the mirror and found a slight sheen to her hair, an oily texture that she could not allow.

But worse yet was the thought of using the satanic shampoo on her long raven locks, would it do more harm than good, at least the oil of her hair was natural, not like whatever blue coloured garbage Eren used.

She spends about thirty minutes agonizing over it before Eren finally notices something is up, and she’s pulled from her internal argument by the screech of the shower curtain and a very irritated green-eyed boy.

“Mikasa, this isn’t a spa you have to get out, we all share the shower.”

It is a testament to just how distressed she is that she doesn’t even pull the shower curtain back, allowing Eren to look his fill, which he does of course, it’s Eren. His eyes rove over her every curve, before he finally settles back on her face and his brows furrow, “What’s wrong?”

His hand slips up to grab her own, pulling it from where it’s clutched between her breasts, giving him an even better view of the full perky mounds, glistening in the water but he barely even looks, focused on her now.

“Miki,” He tries again and MIkasa slumps forward, pointing at his shampoo forlornly, “I can’t use it. I can’t.”

“Okay,” He looks at her in suspicion, tugging at her wrist so she’ll come a little closer, his other hand coming to push her sopping wet hair from her eyes, uncaring of the water soaking down his arms.

“You don’t have to use it, it’s fine.”

“Eren you don’t understand, my hair is” she shudders, “It’s greasy.”

She speaks with urgency, trying to impress upon him the importance of this manner, that this cannot be allowed any longer.

“Okay baby, so?”

The pet name just slips out but she barely notices, her stress level sky rocketing, “Eren it’s my hair, I can’t you know how I am about—“

“Ohhh,” Eren nods with understanding, before giving her cheek a quick pinch and dropping her hand, “Be right back.”

And then, her asshole frat bro disappears back into his bedroom and Mikasa yelps as he leaves the door open, yanking the curtain shut again. Thankfully it’s early enough that she’s sure most self-respecting frat bros aren’t awake to see her.

As Mikasa fumes over his abrupt disappearance, Eren enters the bathroom again, a happy little smile on his face before he pulls the curtain back open, “You should have said something earlier.”

And then, to Mikasa’s shock Eren hands her a little shower caddy, pink and one of the cleanest things in his room, filled with brightly coloured bottles, the brand she normally uses, shampoo, conditioner, hair masks.

“I got it for you a few weeks ago when you started sleeping over more, I asked your mom what you like to use, I know how you are about your hair,” He tells her, all hot and smiley, even so early in the morning, eyes still droopy with sleep, hair disheveled.

“Eren, listen to me very carefully, this is the only time I’m ever going to say this to you, do you understand?”

He’s looking at her in confusion now, and Mikasa, grabs him by his shirt, yanking him under the spray of the shower for a kiss so passionate, so infused with adoration that it leaves her dizzy after, “I love you.”

He looks confused as he pulls back before his eyes light up, “Really?”

“No, I usually can’t stand you, but this,” She pokes the shower caddie of hair products, “This is the hottest thing you’ve ever done now take your clothes off and get in the shower before I change my mind.”

He’s already pulling his shirt over his head and Mikasa is on cloud 9 because some of those hair masks not even she has, a little too expensive for her to splurge, but he’d bought her the entire fucking line without blinking.

He’s down to his pants, and Mikasa licks her lips as she rakes her eyes over the lines of his abs, the dusting of dark hair leading down, down, down to the prize she now craves, because she’s going to fucking worship him for this.

To hell with the hot water, she’ll spend all day in this shower with him if wants, making love to his cock and sucking him off with every ounce of adoration she feels right now.

“Wait-“ Eren stops, his hands lingering over the waist band of his boxers, so close to her prize, the hard line of his cock, thick and throbbing for her, “Don’t you have to like actually do your hair now? I can wait—“

“Eren,” She cuts him off, voice edging on desperation, gravelly with desire, “Shampoo and conditioner with take a few minutes at best, and you can do that for me.”

Her voice turns wicked, sultry as she continues, more lustful than she’s ever been before, “But hair masks, I like to leave them in for a long time, and today I think I need several, 30 minutes leave in minimum and I can think of at least one thing I can do while we wait.”

She glances down at his boxers meaningfully, and Eren groans as he realizes the implication.

“Shit,” Eren curses, throwing his pants down, and she throws fuel on the fire, “You just might have to hold my hair up, keep it in a knot because I forgot my elastic today, think that’s something you can do?”

“Fuck yeah.”

She sucks him off three times, one per hair mask, and once because she just loves the feel of his hands in her hair, how good he was at massaging shampoo into her scalp, likes comfort of his hands on her while she sucks his cock too.

And the next time she sleeps over at his place, she’s not as upset about it anymore, even if he still doesn’t have a bed frame.

[dramalets]

Jen's ultimate rank list

For whatever reason the brain weevils have taken over and I decided I wanted to properly rank every Y series I've watched thus far. Why am I doing this? I really don't know. It just felt like a good use of a dreary Sunday. These will be split by region and I'm not including Western stuff because it doesn't, for me, fit what I think of when I think about a Y or BL series. I've not been analytical about a ranking system, it's mostly based on rewatch factors and how much it stuck with me after it ended. Some dramas I'll rewatch but they're not dramas I'd consider in my top list so just vibes also had to play a factor. (My MDL list isn't to be trusted. Girl, why did you give My Engineer a 9. What were you smoking?)

Thailand

Moonlight Chicken

Be My Favourite

Bad Buddy

Cherry Magic

We Are

Bed Friend

My Only 12%

Not Me

Vice Versa

SOTUS/SOTUS S

My Ride

Dark Blue Kiss

My School President

Theory of Love

A Tale of a 1000 Stars

4Minutes

Last Twilight

Laws of Attraction

Knock Knock, Boys!

Dangerous Romance

Naughty Babe

KinnPorsche

Pit Babe

Only Friends

Wandee GoodDay

23.5

The Eclipse

Between Us

The Middleman's love

A Boss & A Babe

Two Worlds

Never Let Me Go

I Told Sunset About You

Together with me

Why R U

My Engineer

This love doesn’t have long beans

Cooking Crush

Love in the air

The Sign

Cupid's Last Wish

My Gear & Your Gown

Star & Sky: Sky in your heart

Only Boo!

The Rebound

Still 2 gether

Tharn Type

Love Sea

Dear Doctor I'm coming for your soul

Cutie Pie

2 Gether

Hidden Agenda

Love By Chance

Venus in the sky

Wedding Plan

Beyond the star

WaterBoyy

Phillipines (Consider any of these tbh)

Just Like in the movies

Marahuyo Project

Gameboys (1,2)

Pearl Next Door (This is a GL but shh)

Hello Stranger (Series & movie)

Boys' Lockdown

The Day I loved you

Quaranthings

Your Home

Boyband love (Honestly this is terrible don't watch it.)

Taiwan

Unknown

Kiseki Dear To Me

HIStory 3: Trapped

You Are Mine

We Best Love (2)

We Best Love (1)

HIStory 4: Close to you

VIP Only

My Tooth your love

Japan (it must be said that none of these are truly bad. Even the bottom ranked.)

Our Dining Table

Pornographer Series

Old Fashioned Cupcake

Tokyo in April is

What did you eat yesterday (s1,2 & movie)

Ossan’s Love

Perfect Propose

Love is better the second time around

One room angel

My Beautiful Man (1,2 & movie)

The Man who defies the world of BL (s1&2 &3)

If it’s with you

Although I love you, and you?

Living with him

I became the main role of a BL drama

Kabe Koji

Mr Unlucky has no choice but to kiss

Takura-kun & Amagi-kun

My Personal Weatherman

Candy Colour Paradox

I cannot reach you

Senpai this can’t be love

Korea

Semantic Error

Boys be Brave

Our Dating Sim

Jun & Jun

The Tasty Florida

Where your eyes linger (this put me off K BLs for 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴)

All countries top (no particular order just the tippy toppy faves.)

Moonlight Chicken

Just Like In The Movies

Pornographer series (Particularly Mood Indigo)

Bad Buddy

Be My Favourite

Our Dining Table

Unknown

Game Boys

Marahuyo project

We Are

If you actually read until this point thank you very much you're clearly amazing. Maybe give this a try for yourself? It was an interesting experiment.

[ffxivtribehydrae]

Get to know each other better

Tagged by @nabaath-areng , thank you!

Last Song: 'Love of Mine - Imagine Dragons' because I was listening to Auro'usk's playlist while cleaning! His playlist is also very often my default music playlist because I find it rather comforting to listen to.

Favorite Color: It varies, but in general my top three faves are: Red, Blue, Yellow. Not really any specific shade either, especially not when it comes to blue. I like to say sky blue is my fave blue because, well, have you seen the meme "Do you like the colours of the sky"? Yeah I like when that meme comes by.

Currently Watching: GameGrumps playing Chained Together! I have bad attention span for series, even if I enjoy them. Very often do I need to start them all over and binge in one go if I actually want to see a series.

Last Movie: Hot Fuzz! Or was it Empreror's New Grove..? Either way onyl watched parts of both. Hot Fuzz was shown by a friend and I jumped in at the end when everything was chaos and man, do I need to watch the entire thing.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I do have a sweet tooth problem (that I am working on taming) and I am challenging my spice tolerance. Savory food is okay. None of these are a favorite but I like them equally as long as I get a balanced diet.

Relationship Status: Singleee

Current Obsessions: I have been on a Stardew Valley hype again. I never checked out the updates for it so it's been fun to replay it and encounter things I don't recognize!

Last Thing in my Search History: 'Turalism' since the new Tural hoodie reminded me it exists an entire official website for being a tourist in a fantasy land.

Tagging: @umbralsound-xiv @ifyougochasingrabbits @adellennehocoleux @sayurifellfrost @the-baschet and really anyone who follows me! Would love a tag back so I can read!

[saradika]

First of all Happy Birthday my sweet friend and congrats on your new followers! 🥳🎂🥂I adore you so much and I'm always in awe of everything you create, your creativity knows no bounds and this is such a fun event to cool way to celebrate your milestones!

I had such a hard time deciding what to pick because I loved all the options, but I'm always 😍 over whatever you come up with and I finally managed to settle on something!

🖼️ - favourite character: Klaue (naturally) / favourite colour: phthalo green / trope: caught in the rain / I couldn't settle on a specific aesthetic so do with that what you will!

🥂Afterparty! - A fave song that always ends up high in my rotation in the summertime is "Silver Linings" by Mt. Joy

Thank you Jess, I hope that you have a wonderful birthday filled with things you love (you deserve them all!). 💗💗💗

this made me so 🥺💖🥰, I adore you as well! your fics always being so much comfort and your talent is so incredibly inspiring. thank you so much for your kindness and birthday wishes, it truly made my day a better one!! sending so much love your way!

and ahh this was such a cool idea (yess so here for Klaue! and love that color, too), I hope I combined your ideas okay!!! 💖 I did a teeny drabble as well, based on some thoughts while combing through pinterest!

walking to dinner had seemed like a great idea until now. trapped together beneath the eaves of the little shop you ducked under - hands shading eyes as you gaze up at the cracked sky above you.

“sorry, darling,” klaue is murmuring in your ear. acutely aware of the desire that thrums inside you from wandering hands at dinner, for it courses through him as well.

there’s a beat, before you’re stepping out onto the sidewalk. a smile thrown from over your shoulder, before you’re holding your hand out for him.

“why?” you ask, as the rain drips against your skin - easing the heat of summer. it’s no burden - you’re only going home, after all. “i’ve always liked the rain. don’t you?”

“something like that.” he answers, though his eyes aren’t on the sky above, or the patter on the concrete. those blue eyes fixed solely you.

only a heartbeat passes, before his hand fits into yours.

and thank you for the song, I was listening to it today!! 🎶💖

—

[saradika’s summer soiree - closed]

[sippycuppup]

Hi - I don’t know if your outfit board requests are open at the moment. But if they are, could you make one based off of Luke Dunphy from Modern Family? summer in the early 2000s suburbs stuff, like water guns, DS games, sports, bugs - bright orange and sky blue are my fave colours. Thanks, man - your account is super awesome.

[gothyanki]

@ardentkurashk tagged me in this meme forever ago (thank you!! <3) Now it is time. Lots of yelling about Vin'ath inbound.

Name: Vin'ath

Age: 31

Race: Githyanki

Class: Paladin (Oath of Vengeance).

Alignment: Trying their hardest to be a Lawful Good True Storybook Knight while also following vengeance oath tenets to the letter. This… does not always work out well.

Deity: Having been raised in a cult, Vin is deeply and understandably suspicious of all gods. They’ve dedicated their life to their oath instead, which is totally different.

Favourite spells: Shield of Faith for practicality; Colour Spray for aesthetics. They also love smiting. Divine Smite is their fave, although they couldn’t tell you why it’s the most satisfying.

Armour (Act 1): Scale Mail of Vengeance.

Armour (Act 2): Adamantine Splint Armour.

Armour (Act 3): Still Adamantine Splint Armour! High paladin fashion.

Favourite dye: Baby blue and gold. They flat-out refused to dye their gear at all until they got to Rivington, where they grudgingly agreed to try it out. The description points to a much more militaristic meaning, but to Vin those colours have come to symbolise the sun and sky over the world they love.

(I have a LOT of feelings about the default vengeance paladin colour scheme in light of “I see only blood-red and death-black”. Vin hasn’t drifted as far from their upbringing as they’d like to think.)

Weapon (Act 1): Monster Slayer Glaive (+ anything else they could grab that looked useful).

Weapon (Act 2): Soulbreaker Greatsword.

Weapon (Act 3): Silver Sword of the Astral Plane. Sorry, Lae'zel - it's just too perfect for a githyanki paladin. (In my headcanon, Lae does end up getting it after some token face-saving resistance from Vin. They’re not comfortable with the idea of wielding a silver sword and don't really want to give up the Soulbreaker - they've still got a lot of complicated feelings about the way they won it and they feel responsible for all those whispering souls.)

Buffs: Ooh, it’s been a while - I’d have to load up the game to see what they’ve got on. Githborn Psionic Weapon? Wielding the Soulbreaker Greatsword feels so right to them (ditto for Voss' silver sword, in the very brief space of time they had it); they’ve thoroughly compartmentalised that feeling so they don’t have to think about Why.

Main love interest: Karlach. It was a bit of a rough road to get there (the touch issue might have been the least of their problems), but now they’re an unstoppable team. To hell first, then onward to the stars!

Favourite NPC(s): Vin’s got a huge soft spot for the tiefling kids, especially Mol. (They’re very protective of children in general, for reasons they won’t admit have anything to do with their own upbringing.) Meeting Varrl and Varsh Ko’kuu gave them some hope in a difficult time, even though the circumstances were painful. They also greatly admire Dame Aylin and Isobel… and kind of see them as #relationshipgoals.

…and then there’s Kith'rak Voss. Yeah, that’s a complicated one.

Favourite enemy: Kith'rak Therezzyn and Inquisitor W'wargasm W'wargaz. There was a LOT of emotional fallout after the adrenaline crash, but for a while there they were riding the high of having faced down two terrifying childhood authority figures and lived (not to mention the staring contest with Vlaakith herself…)

Favourite battle: Gortash. That one was very personal - vengeance paladin mode on full display. (The conversation after it was… significantly harder for them to deal with.) Rescuing Halsin from Orin & co. was a close second - they were just so relieved they’d got there in time.

Favourite dialogue: Is “every single dialogue involving Karlach” cheating? Not just the overtly flirty/romantic ones - Vin would happily listen to her read the Faerûnian phonebook.

Aside from that, they got so much vicarious joy out of hearing Lae'zel reject Vlaakith - they don’t tend to show much emotion, but they may have done a little fist pump at “she has sinned against me!” Also, the conversation where Wyll opened up about the circumstances of his exile - Vin felt very honoured that he trusted them enough to let them see beyond the Blade of Frontiers persona, and it led them to drop their Perfect Paladin walls a little in return.

Decision about the Absolute: Red laser destroy destroy destroy + the Crown returns to Mystra. Unlike Lykos, Vin'ath isn’t tentacle-curious.

I tag anyone who hasn’t already done this (see: forever ago) and wants to!

[watercolourcritters]

and the follow-up - Oluwande and Jim, together <3

This is a part of a series of artworks created for my good friend @yerbamansa's SMAU @askmeanythingOFMD! It's one of my faves, I love the two of them together <3

[ID: A small sketchy marker art of Oluwande and Jim from OFDM holding hands and watching the sunset on Lake Huron with their feet in the water. Their backs are to the viewer. They both wear teal t-shirts and shorts - Jim's tshirt sleeves have been cut off. The sky is full of brightly coloured clouds with oranges, pinks, purples, blues and reds. End ID.]

[ikoarts]

October 2023 Art

for some reason i wrote a novel under the cut, for those of u actually reading, thank u for being so patient x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 03/10/2023 : another of my faves of last year, was trying to get better at drawing trainz, so just Edward and Toby hanging out, displaying the duality of old men x

2 - 04/10/2023 : got a new puter! one of the first things i set to doing after getting set up was to draw a Ru, of course, it was also just me trying to get used to the new MS paint..... it feels very odd

3, 4, 5 - 06/10/2023 : part 1 of redrawing random pics i have of Edward on my phone with my human version of him, this was really fun tbh, and the third here is one of my fave drawings of the year probs.. like sir.. those look heavy... what big uhh.. Glasses.. you have

6, 7, 8 - 07/10/2023 : part 2! i think i just like drawing his face... dare i say this train is cunty or will that get me exiled

9 - 08/10/2023 : something stupid i thought of and couldn't get out of my head for days so had to draw it..... little johnny from oingo boingo's only a lad, doing what he does best, fantasising about radios he wants oh so bad and running people down with a boyish craving for blood.. based on that 1 meme of the guy driving and thinking of a thing then making that insane face

10 - 09/10/2023 : based on that 1 silly vargskelethor song (that could not be less specific), had Shed 17 on the brain and was reminded of the milk song where the skeleton comes out.. thomarse dank 2 much milk and died..

11, 12 - 10/10/2023 : chooshada again :333 first a little doodle on my phone bc i was wondering about her livery, i do think she'd have originally been NER apple green but then painted NWR colours, butttt with a twist... coz i can do whatever i like... the twist is just that she's painted dark blue rather than a sky blue, coz its more her colour x

ALSO MS paint shada, wanted to draw her more uh, idk, detailed ig, idk i love this one, it also served as more train practice

13 - 13/10/2023 : previous one, but with COLOUR!! not much 2 say other than that shes very cute

14 - 18/10/2023 : saw a tweet abt old photos of engine crews posing with their crashed locos and how the NWR crews would do that, made me think of how, if Toni was (choo)shada's driver, she'd do that.. probably x .. very like her to slay in the midst of a terrible accident

15 - 22/10/2023 : predictably, i have some playlists for the ttte engines, one for Diesel which is notable here, so uhh, i have the scrapped song from the lorax "biggering" in there, bc i see it as like a Duck vs Diesel song, ik im surpassing several layers of cringe here but hear me out ok... i drew this at 2am coz i couldn't stop thinking of Duck lecturing Diesel

16, 17, 18 - 25/10/2023 : speaking of playlists, think i was listening to my Robin one here, and felt like drawing him, i have "the land of make believe" in there, which ive always found to be an oddly haunting song, so this is semi based on that, though that wouldn't be apparent if i hadn't just told u x .. this looks like vent art but tis not i was just having fun

also tiny chooshada, i was in the middle of writing something which i have literally Just remembered now and i was writing a scene where Ru is stuck between some characters who shes not looking forward to working with bc they're about to bicker the whole fuckin time and one of them thinks shes a dick, so i drew her being sad that shes forced to work with morons..... and speak of the devil, 3rd drawing is here with 2 of the aforementioned morons :D i think D+D take a liking to her, they're just a little obnoxious (love them for that)

19 - 27/10/2023 : a quick(ish) digital thing of Chooshada again that i did on the side of another project, more engine drawing practice he he, she'll be out of proportion and lacking detail but really it was just to not be too hard on myself about that, it did help i think to understand how to draw her more, plus just look at her lil face... also she has a number here, doesn't mean much other than 8 being her lucky number, other than 11, like those are just her numbers, suppose i could have it be 1188 to ref her bday, idfk x

[eikotheblue]

12. what’s some good advice you want to share?

22. say 3 things about someone you love

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

26. fave colour and why blue?

12. It actually really is important to stay hydrated and eat decently and have good sleep habits. Blue light filters on your devices at night times help a lot.

22. [these are all about different people that i love ]

I love how you use language, how you put your thoughts into words and make them dance. (sometimes an evil dance), and i love what those thoughts are, and why you have them. I love how safe you feel to have ideas and beliefs around.

I love how good you are at injecting a bit of humor into serious situations in a way that helps and feels good, and I love how pro-communication you are, and how comfy talking to you always feels, even when the topic is hard.

I love how you laugh - the way delight lights up your face and then spreads through the air in your happy giggles. I love the chances I get to make you laugh.

24. I'm proud of myself for reaching out to ppl and making new friends, especially at skate night over the past 5 months. It was scary and also it was really really valuable, and many lives have been enriched for it.

26. My favorite color is blue because when i was 4 years old I realized I needed a favorite color and I wanted to pick the one that was the Most and therefore the Best. And I'd just learned that 2/3rds of the world's surface was ocean. Ocean is blue on maps, and also the sky is blue, so obviously blue was the winner. (Green was the runner-up, for trees and grass)

[Questions here]

[vessels-two-front-teeth]

and for the other ask game: 👁️🥦🌻📺🎬

👁️- eye colour: I have blue eyes. With a little spronkle of gold-ish yellow around my irises.

🥦- my fave veggie: spaghetti squash with pesto and garlic confit (it’s fucking divine, oh my god. I am such a foodie can you tell?)

🌻- fave flower: the only flower I can even tolerate the smell of is lilacs. The rest of them make me 🤢

📺- fave TV show: I just found two new shows that I am OBSESSED WITH. Both on Amazon prime. One is called Night Sky the other is called The Loop. Both are sci-fi.

🎬- fave movie: Lord of the rings. Hands down. I’m watching it right now 🤓

[grigori77]

2023 in Movies, My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10.  NIMONA – we almost didn’t get 2023’s most socially important animated feature.  When Disney acquired Twentieth Century Fox and everything went tits up for its various affiliates, animation house Blue Sky Studios bit the dust just as this long-awaited adaptation of influential She-Ra & the Princesses of Power showrunner ND Stevenson’s beloved fantastical graphic novel from Spies In Disguise directors Nick Bruno and Troy Quaine was nearing completion, and it looked like it might never see the light of day … at least until Annapurna Pictures and Netflix swooped in to the rescue, snapping it up, funding its completion and getting it out on streaming to the delight of all of us who’d thought it was essentially LOST.  The end result is just about THE VERY BEST movie I’ve ever seen about the struggles of being non-binary and not conforming to any set gender norms in modern society, viewed through the fantasy prism of a shapeshifting “teenager” who effortlessly steals their own film.  Chloe Grace Moretz is perfectly cast as the voice of the titular misfit anarchist troublemaker supernatural being, who finds an opportunity for some fresh chaos by joining forces with Ballister Boldheart (Riz Ahmed), a newly-knighted commoner who becomes public enemy number one after being viciously framed for the murder of the queen of a futuristic medieval society (really!) built around chivalry and the righteous smiting of monsters.  Ballister’s determined to prove his innocence, while Nimona just wants to create havoc, while they’re both being hunted by his former fellow knights, led by his ex-boyfriend Ambrosius Goldenloin (Eugene Lee Yang of The Try Guys), a direct descendent of the Kingdom’s legendary original monster slaying heroine Gloreth.  It’s a gloriously original piece of work, the animation presented in a truly GORGEOUS brightly coloured 2-dimensional 3D graphic style that at once riffs on the ingenious visual inventiveness of the Spider-Verse movies while also creating something COMPLETELY NEW but simultaneously lovably reminiscent of the classic Blue Sky cartoony look, while the frequently chaotic action is just as infectiously anarchic as the lead character herself.  It’s also fiendishly brilliant in its subversive message and twisty logic, making the viewer question what being a monster REALLY means, and if what we SEE someone as REALLY IS their true identity.  Needless to say, Moretz runs away with the whole film, while the character of Nimona herself is a truly ENCHANTING and thoroughly inspiring creation who’s destined to become an iconic hero for non-binary and trans kids around the world, but Ahmed and Yang are clearly having a great time here too, as is Frances Conroy as the Director of the Kingdom’s knights, having a blast bringing icy menace to her deliciously duplicitous villainous turn.  It’s an incredibly FUN movie, shot through with a rich and rewardingly infectious sense of humour, taking classic fantasy tropes and turning them on their head in new and wonderfully inventive ways, but it knows JUST when to get serious too, and there are some powerful moments when it grabs hold of your heart and DESTROYS YOU emotionally, especially in the incredibly evocative climax.  Ultimately this ISN’T an overly faithful adaptation of Stevenson’s original graphic novel – he was in a darker place when he wrote and drew it, going through his own complicated struggle with his gender identity before finally making his personal transition in 2022 – but it certainly is rewardingly true to the book’s spirit and deep-down message of inclusion, positivity and being true to your core identity, which makes it one of the most important animated films to be made in a very long time.  I’m so happy it’s received the TRULY MASSIVE amount of attention and LOVE it’s garnered since its release, and I thank Netflix and everybody else who made the effort to get this movie out after all when Disney seemed so reluctant to take a chance on it.  This deserves to be seen, it NEEDS to be seen, and I urge you to check it out.

9.  RENFIELD – my horror movie of 2023 sits very comfortably in the genre’s sub-category that I’ve always loved best, a jet black comedy of particularly rare quality and gleeful abandon that made it one of the most entertaining viewing experiences I had this past year.  Yeah, like the best horror comedies it has enough genuine darkness that it CAN be genuinely scary when it wants to be, but given the sheer (literal) batshit craziness of its premise this is a BONKERS FILM, and so it wisely embraces its sheer lampoonery to full effect without reservation.  Not that it’s overly surprising – director Chris McKay cut his teeth helming The Lego Batman Movie before branching out into live action with Amazon’s criminally underrated time travelling alien invasion blockbuster The Tomorrow War, both of which were excellent vehicles for him to master the gloriously anarchic style that he finally unleashes fully formed for this brilliant alternative sequel to the classic Universal Dracula movie with Bela Lugosi.  That being said, the big box office draw here was always going to be Nicolas Cage, who pays loving tribute to Lugosi as the infamous Count, kicking into his typical “manic” setting to chew the scenery with ruthless abandon and, as a result, frequently steal the show right out from under Nicholas Hoult as his titular ghoul manservant, the long-suffering Robert Montague Renfield, who just wants the opportunity to finally find a real, simple life for himself and thinks he can pull it off in modern day New Orleans, only for his Master to himself become inspired by Renfield’s newfound ambition and set his sights on world domination with the help of the Lobos, a brutal local crime family.  Thankfully Hoult DOES manage to hold his own in his scenes with Cage, as always proving ADEPTLY talented enough to deliver another winningly endearing performance while playing perhaps the single most pathetic specimen of his career to date … meanwhile the thoroughly adorable Awkwafina once again proves she’s well on the way to becoming the PREMIER kooky goofball female comedic lead in Hollywood as Rebecca Quincy, the one truly honest cop in one of the most corrupt police forces in all of America, who winds up falling for Renfield’s hangdog charm and puppy-dog eyes as he inadvertently becomes the key to her quest to bring down the Lobos after they murdered her legendary detective father.  Shohreh Aghdashloo brings a much needed touch of class to proceedings as Bellafrancesca Lobo, the family’s seductively sly matriarch, while Space Force and Sonic the Hedgehog’s Ben Schwarz is a frequent non-PC laugh riot all on his own as her entitled constant disappointment of a son Teddy, and Ghosts’ Brandon Scott Jones is lovably flaky as the leader of Renfield’s endearingly pathetic support group for people trapped in toxic co-dependent relationships.  This genuinely is a DEEPLY FUNNY FILM, perfectly geared up for a maximum hit count with the one-liners, in-jokes and situations, but then there’s no surprise here since writer Ryan Ridley (adapting a pitch from The Walking Dead’s original creator Robert Kirkman) is a seasoned veteran of TV comedy, particularly well known as an alumnus of the similarly edgy and madcap Rick & Morty, and this carries a lot of the same twisted, anarchic charm as that rightly beloved series, just in a much more big budget live action form.  It’s also SPECTACULARLY bloodthirsty when it wants to be, the welcome reliance on what are clearly LARGELY physical effects meaning that this movie is another gore-hound’s wet dream, even if the film does mostly play the horror elements for laughs throughout, and it’s an impressively inventive and chaotic beast in THAT regard too, delivering some of the most gloriously OTT splatter-fuelled action sequences I’ve seen in a good while whenever Renfield eats a bug and gets an ultraviolent power boost.  Altogether this is definitely some of the most fun I had at the cinema this past year, and I’ll admit I wouldn’t mind a bit more of this if they DID fancy trying the sequel road after all …

8.  LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND – Mr Robot was one of THE all-time great TV revelations of the 2010s, creator/showrunner Sam Esmail becoming a genuinely challenging counter-culture voice responsible for hard-hitting, thought-provoking material which really shook up the status quo.  Shocking, then, that his only real notable foray onto the BIG screen was with the offbeat but ultimately overlooked romantic comedy fantasy Comet, but that balance has FINALLY been redressed almost a decade later with this powerhouse leftfield tour-de-force dystopian apocalyptic thriller from Netflix.  Adapting the already hard-hitting, critically acclaimed novel by Rumaan Alam, Esmail wastes no time in weaving a spell of subtly inexplicable unease as we follow a family of well-to-do New Yorkers who take the opportunity to get out of the city for a break on the coast after renting someone else’s house for a long weekend, only for the owners to suddenly return in the night with tales of a blackout and more bafflingly worrying events unfolding in the outside world, hoping they can stay too until they know more.  Feelings of distrust and paranoia immediately settle in and refuse to leave even as the two families warily get to know one another, but then things are getting WEIRD – the internet and TV are DOWN, drones are dropping indecipherable foreign propaganda from the skies and there are sudden bursts of head-splitting noise coming from SOMEWHERE … all too slowly it becomes clear that something truly terrible is happening, and that there’s more than just rumoured cyber-attacks at work here.  This really is CHILD’S PLAY for Esmail, who’s clearly having a wild old time crafting a twisting, unnervingly unsettling suspense thriller which sticks the knife in and keeps on twisting as things get more worryingly desperate, all while casting a deeply critical eye on the state of modern society, capitalism, pop culture and pervading racial and social divides.  Julia Roberts and Ethan Hawke are both typically EXCELLENT as Amanda and Clay Sandford, the white liberal upper class couple who find their deep-seated preconceptions forming their perceptions as they’re forced to deal with the as always truly MAGNIFICENT Mahershala Ali’s cultured stockbroker G.H. Scott and his brash, opinionated daughter Ruth (Industry and Bodies Bodies Bodies’ Myha’la), while there’s a brief but unsurprisingly POTENT turn from Kevin Bacon as Danny, the exact kind of paranoid, doomsday prepping redneck who’s probably gonna survive this coming apocalypse JUST FINE.  There’s SO MUCH to unpack and explore in this film, it’s definitely one of those film’s that rewards repeat viewing with neat little twists, fascinatingly subtle hints and clues which lead to insidiously profound payoffs and more sneaky little easter eggs than you could EVER spot on a single viewing, leading to a truly HORRIFYING existential climax which will lead to many a sleepless night given the way this world seems to be heading.  Speculative science fiction or worryingly potent prophecy?  Only time will tell, I guess …

7.  SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE – the animated feature that completely CHANGED THE GAME at the end of the last DECADE getting a sequel was pretty much a no-brainer, but it didn’t make the wait any easier, and after COVID put a dent in so many of the big releases coming forward this was definitely one of the most painful delays for me.  Finally getting to see it was, therefore, ONE HELL of a cathartic release of tension, so much that even later discovering that not everything was exactly GOOD in the production studios at the time (namely the animators being crunched LIKE CRAZY by the ever-shifting nature of the vision they were being asked to realise, leading to a toxic working environment for many, which is NEVER cool) still didn’t dent my truly AWED appreciation for the finished film.  Seriously, this is THE BEST animated feature we saw this past year, and ALREADY a strong candidate for best animated feature of THIS DECADE (although that’s likely to change if the incoming sequel turns out to be as good, if not BETTER, which it probability WILL).  Honestly, I could end the review right here just with that recommendation, it’s GENUINELY THAT GOOD, people.  But I still got a job to do here, so … once again, Miles Morales (Dope’s Shameik Moore), the new Spider-Man in his world, is at the centre of a whirlwind of narrative chaos as a new arch-nemesis he never knew he had emerges to hold him to account for what he did when he destroyed the Kingpin’s interdimensionally destructive supercollider in the first film – the Spot (Jason Schwartzman), a former scientist at Alchemax who got turned into a walking mass of unstable wormholes when he got hit with the full brunt of all that quantum energy.  As he embarks on his quest to take his misguided revenge on Miles, his interdimensional spree of carnage leads our Spider-Man to become connected with a Multiverse-spanning cadre of Spider-People, led by the spectacularly stern Spider-Man of Earth 2099, Miguel O’Hara (Oscar Isaac), who police the various Earths in order to combat and remove “anomalies” that arise to threaten them … and

the Spot is a BIG ONE of those.  Oh, and Gwen Stacy (Hailee Steinfeld), the Spider-Woman Miles most definitely fell for in the first film, has started working with them too after her own father, police Captain George Stacy (Shea Wigham), who’s had it in for their Spider-Woman after she was mistakenly framed for the death of their Earth’s Peter Parker, discovered her secret identity and made her run from her own dimension as a result …yeah, it sounds pretty complicated, but this whole twisted labyrinth is, nonetheless, unveiled in the exact same super-slick, viewer-friendly way the first film pulled off its own exposition, which just makes more room for all the FUN as we get to follow our old favourites and a whole host of fascinating NEW incarnations of our favourite arachnid-themed superhero on their various insane adventures.  This is JUST AS SPECTACULAR in terms of action, character work, pure invention and sheer, unrivalled SPECTACLE as its predecessor, in many places upping the wow factor SIGNIFICANTLY (particularly during a particularly colourful visit to the distinctly Indian-flavoured alternative version of New York called Mumbattan, which is the stomping ground of one of the film’s most memorable new Spider-folk, the irrepressibly chipper Pavitr Prabhakar, voiced by Deadpool’s thoroughly brilliant Karan Soni).  Indeed, the most fun we have throughout this movie is definitely getting to hang out not only with our old friends but all these newcomers too, with Pavitr being joined by the fascinating likes of the very coolest Spider-Woman after Gwen, Jess Drew (Awkward Black Girl’s Issa Rae), digital avatar Margo Kess/Spider-Byte (The Hunger Games’ Amandla Stenberg), overly-angsty living Todd McFarlane comic panel Ben Reily/Scarlet Spider (the incomparable Andy Samberg) and even Mayday Parker, the impossibly adorable new baby daughter of Jake Johnson’s welcome returning fan-favourite OG Peter Parker (and, of course, Miles’ original mentor from the first movie), who’s ALREADY got her spider-powers, while Miguel is a FANTASTIC character, brooding like a champ and sometimes proving to be as much of an EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE villain in the story as the Spot, especially once his beef

with Miles is revealed … but at the end of the day, ALL of these new arrivals thoroughly PALE in comparison to one of this film’s BEST secret weapons, Hobie Brown/Spider Punk (Daniel Kaluuya getting to use his normal accent for once), a misfit non-conformist anarchist JOY with one hell of a problem with authority (Miguel’s IN PARTICULAR) who effortlessly steals our hearts just as much as EVERY SINGLE SCENE he’s in.  That being said, it really is SO GREAT having our old crew back – Miles and Gwen are SO SWEET, their chemistry is just OFF THE BLOODY CHARTS without them even trying, and I adore every single scene of them together, never mind their own individual storylines (it’s PARTICULARLY great getting to see Gwen herself get a SIGNIFICANTLY enlarged narrative presence this time round, becoming JUST as important in this story as Miles himself), while any time we get to spend with Johnson’s Peter is pure gold, and we get to spend even more time with Miles’ wonderful, loving, hard-working parents Jeff and Rio Morales (Brian Tyree Henry and Lauren Velez), which is ALWAYS a plus.  Needless to say, this is a whole LOAD of fun, shot through with the same classic winning humour, wild invention, visionary experimentation, thematic resonance and pure geeky in-joke easter egg-packing FAN SERVICE that made the first film such a winner, but it also comes through BIG TIME with more of those wicked FEELS, this time ramping things up FAR MORE with the serious emotional HEFT as we’re presented with some truly DEVASTATING character arcs whose after effects are gonna be felt for A VERY LONG TIME after.  The fact that this is just the first half of a two-part SAGA, with Beyond the Spider-Verse currently in the works, means that we can look forward to PLENTY MORE, although here’s hoping that this time they give their animators a little more BREATHING ROOM to get it done right WITHOUT having to break their backs in the process, yeah?  Then again, with the writers’ AND actors’ strike barely over, the likelihood of THAT is pretty strong …

6.  OPPENHEIMER – really, is there ANY SURPRISE over this placing so high?  You know what a MASSIVE Christopher Nolan fan I am, and him making a proper EPIC historical biopic examining the career and achievements of the father of nuclear power was GUARANTEED to not only grab my attention but also thoroughly please the serious high-brow cinema appreciator buried inside me over all that action junkie, superhero fanboy and sci-fi-nut stuff … but yeah, this was ALWAYS gonna be a fucking amazing film, wasn’t it?  Nolan’s most regular acting collaborator (outside of Michael Caine, anyway), Cillian Murphy, stars as J. Robert Oppenheimer, the theoretical physicist who spearheaded the Manhattan Project which led to the creation of the very first viable nuclear weapons which were then used by the American military to destroy the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and end the Second World War.  On the surface he seems like a driven, visionary man with a real fascination for the science he’s pioneering, but also a cool pragmatism which makes him the ideal man to usher in this astounding technological achievement, but as the film unfolds in Nolan’s typical non-linear narrative fashion we discover a far more complex man than we first supposed, Murphy unveiling Oppenheimer’s deep-seeded fears about the frighteningly real dangers his Project could give birth to.  After all, he may have been the father of the Modern World, but this particular creation also gave rise to a century of technological horrors and a whole new, long lasting Cold War.   Anyway, this is UNDENIABLY the greatest performance of Murphy’s career, if he doesn’t at least get an Oscar nod for this there’s no justice in the world, while, in typical Nolan fashion, the rest of the rich ensemble cast is a genuine embarrassment of riches, from Emily Blunt as Oppenheimer’s long-suffering wife Kitty and Florence Pugh as his ill-fated Communist mistress Jean Tatlock to Matt Damon as his nominal “boss”, Gen. Leslie Groves, Kenneth Brannagh as his mentor and idol Niels Bohr, the mighty Tom Conti as the even MORE awesome Albert Einstein and even Robert Downey Jr. in a particularly KEY role as Oppenheimer’s one-time colleague and later rival, Atomic Energy commissioner Lewis Strauss, who dominates the parallel narrative throughline presented over the course of the film as his own efforts to discredit and destroy the great man ultimately end up coming back to bite his own political ambitions.  To a man, they’re all as MAGNIFICENT as the rest of the film, which is a fascinating journey into the dark heart of one of the greatest but also most historically and socially destructive scientific achievements in the history of the world, the man who ushered it in, and the hell he then went through afterwards when he then tried to make sure we didn’t make it SO MUCH WORSE once we had the power to destroy ourselves.  It’s a film that raises extremely tough questions, and what answers we ARE able to come to are every bit as terrifying as any of the consequences that are either seen or merely suggested here.  Nolan is, as always, A MASTER in the director’s chair as much as in the screenwriter’s corner, bringing his usual visionary flair and artistic brilliance to craft yet more of his trademark IMAX-rocking BEAUTY and opulence, while his sneaky, snaky narrative shenanigans once again frame things in ingenious, challenging and sometimes emotionally DEVASTATING ways before we’re brought to the bittersweet denouement.  Tenet composer Ludwig Goransson’s expansive, evocative score is, ultimately, just the icing on the cake, making an already amazing film even more noteworthy.  If this ain’t the toast of the Awards Season they really didn’t pay attention …

5.  THE CREATOR – if ever there could be a film that would decry the state of the modern blockbuster blueprint, it’s this one.  Seriously, that fact that something THIS fresh and original could flop in a market so saturated with cookie-cutter franchises and exhausted expanded-universe IPs just says it all, doesn’t it?  Writer-director Gareth Edwards (along with screenwriter Chris Weitz, who previously worked with him on Rogue One) has had a look at our encroaching terror at the pervading rise of AI, taken a step back and looked at what COULD potentially happen if we actually end up OVERREACTING and blaming it for something which is actually entirely our fault … cue a troubling delve into a dystopian future where, after the accidental nuking of Los Angeles due to defence-Ai programming human error, the West has uniformly turned again artificial intelligence and set about waging an uncompromising war against it and the sentient androids it’s spawned.  These survivors have fled to the more sympathetic nations of New Asia, but the oppressive machinations of the Western coalition and their obsessive hunt for the AI’s creator, Nimata, have given birth to a terrifying weapon, the deadly orbital weapons platform NOMAD.  John David Washington is Joshua Taylor, a US Army sergeant who lost an arm and a leg in the LA blast, and then what innocence he had left in a subsequent ill-fated infiltration mission in New Asia, who’s drawn back into the fight by his former commanders when evidence emerges that his supposedly dead wife, Maya (an enjoyably complex turn from Gemma Chan), the daughter of Nimata he met and fell in love with on that mission, is still alive and in possession of a devastating weapon which they need to get hold of before it can be used to destroy the West.  Going in with a special forces team, Joshua discovers that this so-called weapon is actually Alphie, an android child (newcomer Madeleine Yuna) with the power to control electronic devices, and he finds that the truth is nothing like what was led to believe … Edwards and Weitz have created a spellbinding science-fiction MASTERPIECE here, a breathlessly thrilling and expansively EPIC science fiction war saga which takes some challenging and thought-provoking ideas and heavy themes and takes a very interesting direction in their interpretation while posing profound questions about the nature of humanity, morality and love, all while delivering a truly intoxicating masterclass in peerless world-building, brought to astonishing living, breathing reality through some of the most seamlessly engineered visual effects I have EVER seen in a feature film (then again, Edwards DID start out as a visual effects artist, so he knows the game INSIDE AND OUT).  Washington is an unusually complex, multi-layered hero as Joshua, fallible and driven by selfish desires but ultimately finding something much bigger than himself to believe in, while Yuna is a revelation, a sweet and inspiring little light in the darkness, while mighty support from the likes of Alison Janney, Ken Watanabe, Marc Manchaca (Ozark, The Outsider, No One Gets Out Alive) and Ralph Ineson rounds things out nicely.  Powerful, inventive, affecting and endlessly thought-provoking, this deserves to be remembered not only as one of the most rewardingly original and genuinely brilliant movies of 2023, but of the entire decade, and I think it’s a genuine crime it wasn’t a massive hit like it deserved to be.  Audiences really did SLEEP on this one …

4.  MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – DEAD RECKONING, PART ONE – really, there should be NO SURPRISE that this topped off my list for the summer.  I may have grown up with James Bond, and I LOVE the Jason Bourne movies too, but the Tom Cruise-starring cinematic adaptation of the classic TV spy show has been MY ABSOLUTELY FAVOURITE espionage-based film franchise since JJ Abrams established the tried-and-tested formula for the series with 2006’s seminal classic third entry.  That being said, the franchise didn’t find its strongest voice until Cruise brought Jack Reacher writer-director Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects, The Way of the Gun) on board for the dynamite fifth instalment, Rogue Nation, which was so fucking brilliant and well received by both critics AND audiences that Paramount saw fit to retain his services on the EVEN BETTER follow-up, Fallout, which came DAMN CLOSE to equalling the heights of Sam Mendes’ Bond masterpiece Skyfall … so of course it was a NO-BRAINER for him to return once again for this two-part intended send-off for Cruise’s seemingly immortal superspy, Ethan Hunt, as he not only faces his deadliest foes to date, but also a very dark ghost from his own past.  As with its predecessor, this is another spy flick where knowing as little as possible going in works best for your enjoyment, suffice to say that this time Ethan and his loyal friends, master hacker Luther Stickel (the legendary Ving Rhames), tech wizard Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and former MI6 spook Ilsa Faust (Dune’s Rebecca Ferguson), really have their work cut out for them when they’re forced to go rogue yet again in order to track down and deactivate a supermassive AI program known as the Entity which has become fully self-aware, broken free of its constraints and is now wreaking havoc throughout the internet and beyond. 

Unfortunately this seemingly unstoppable digital force has enlisted the aid of a particularly dangerous “avatar” to represent its concerns in the real world, a mysterious terrorist known as Gabriel (Ozark’s Esai Morales) who seems to be following a dark agenda of his own.  The ensuing race against time takes in a grand tour of impressively picturesque locales, a collection of winningly well-written characters and a series of knuckle-whitening, visually arresting action sequences that have long since proven to be McQuarrie’s bread-and-butter just as much as his ingeniously twisty labyrinthine plots and sparky, sharp-witted quickfire dialogue, again showing that he really is THE VERY BEST filmmaker that Paramount could EVER have found for this franchise.  Needless to say, Cruise is as spectacular as ever in what really has become the very best role he’s EVER HAD, by this point basically just INHABITING Ethan’s easy charm, admirably solid, unswerving moral principles and truly INCREDIBLE physical prowess, delivering equally well in the truly insane stunt-work which WE KNOW FULL WELL IS ALL HIM as he does in the acting stakes; meanwhile Rhames, Pegg and Ferguson once again shine bright in their now comfortably well-established roles while still managing to bring fresh depths and interesting new arcs to their well-worn characters, we get a lot more of The Crown’s Vanessa Kirby’s intriguing notorious second-generation arms dealer Alanna Mitsopoulis/the White Widow, and it’s an IMMENSE pleasure to finally welcome back the first film’s prickly yet verbose antagonist Eugene Kitteridge (Henry Czerny), Ethan and Luther’s former boss in the IMF, in a far much expansive role this time round.  Meanwhile the franchise newcomers all impress as well, Morales easily proving to be the series’ VERY BEST VILLAIN to date as he menaces, seduces and murders his way through the story, brutally tearing our heroes’ lives apart as he pursues his mysterious master’s nefarious ends, while we get a brand new series heroine in the form of Grace (the MCU’s own Peggy Carter, Hayley Atwell), a sly and duplicitous professional thief who essentially stumbles into the thick of the action before becoming Ethan’s EXTREMELY unwilling accomplice; meanwhile there’s strong support from Shea Wigham and Greg Tarzan Davis (who previously worked with Cruise on Top Gun: Maverick) as Briggs and Degas, a pair of US Intelligence agents sent to chase down the rogue IMF crew, and Cary Elwes as Denlinger, a particularly duplicitous US Director of National Intelligence.  And then there’s Paris … ah Paris, my sweet, psychotic demon child.  Guardians of the Galaxy’s Pom Klementieff actually gets to be FRENCH again as Gabriel’s unpredictably lethal pet killer, and she’s an absolute JOY throughout, so delightfully unhinged that she makes every second of her screentime an undeniable pleasure, and as a result she’s BY FAR my favourite character in this.  Altogether, this is about as perfect as spy cinema gets, McQuarrie and his cast and crew working tirelessly to deliver not only the very best film in the series to date, but also the best film I saw all summer, very nearly my action cinema highlight of the whole year, and one of the VERY BEST spy movies I have EVER SEEN.  Given the shake-up from the Strikes it’s not clear if we’re REALLY gonna get to see Dead Reckoning Part Two in May 2025 like it’s been slated since getting pushed back from its summer ’24 release,but whenever it DOES finally arrive, I KNOW it’ll be worth the wait … it just has to be bloody INCREDIBLE to be better than THIS ONE …

3.  JOHN WICK CHAPTER 4 – and so, it has come to this … honestly, who’d have thunk it, back in 2014 when the first movie came out and (rightly) became a surprise sleeper hit that went a long way to revitalising Keanu Reeves’ career for a SECOND TIME as he found THE GREATEST ROLE HE’S EVER HAD, that almost a decade later it would’ve blown up into something THIS BIG?!!!  I mean sure, back then it definitely was The Little Movie That Could, but still … well, after two increasingly BIG sequels which each maintained a surprisingly impressive level of quality throughout, the fourth and final John Wick chapter is finally here, and GODS is it good.  I mean it’s FUCKING BRILLIANT.  It just might be THE BEST ONE YET.  Certainly it’s proving to be the most well received, landing BY FAR the best rating on Rotten Tomatoes and it genuinely seems like almost nobody has ANYTHING bad to say about this movie, even the CRITICS largely seem to LIKE this one.  And it deserves every lick of love it’s been getting, this is definitely both the pinnacle of the series AND a perfect swansong for the greatest assassin in cinema history.  I don’t wanna give too much away about the plot, even those who HAVE seen what’s come before shouldn’t be spoiled, even if these movies have never exactly been SHAKESPEARE in their construction they do still frequently leave you guessing in the best ways as to how they’ll turn out, and this one is definitely no exception.  I’ll just say that, after all the killing John’s done to get to this point, his one-man-war with the international criminal network’s High Table has finally reached its zenith as Winston (the great Ian McShane), the Manager of the newly-demolished Manhattan Continental Hotel, gives him the means to finally find a way to get out and find peace while he’s still alive – namely by challenging the Marquis Vincent de Gramont (Bill Skarsgard), a high-ranking Table member who’s taken it upon himself to rid the criminal underworld of the “cancer” that John and his constant disrespect have wrought, to single combat in a ritualistic duel in order to take his place at The Table should he win.  The

subsequent battle that ensues as John sets about facilitating this duel and the fallout that follows as he fights his way to that final, fateful meeting fuels the film in HIGH STYLE, so that even though this movie’s almost THREE HOURS LONG it never feels overlong or outstays its welcome.  Once again the cast are all ON FIRE, Reeves once again proving that he is just about THE BEST LOOKING and most interesting action star working in Hollywood today when he’s mowing down endless bad guys with a stoic expression and the odd deadpan response, the role once again VERY MUCH playing to his strengths, while McShane and Laurence Fishburne (returning once again as the dethroned Bowery King) are both on fine form throughout, and it’s both a pleasure and privilege but also a genuine heartbreaking SHAME to watch the late Lance Reddick deliver one of his very last performances as Charon, the noble and quietly charismatic Concierge of the Manhattan Continental (at least he also shot one more turn as the character for the upcoming Ana de Armas-starring spinoff feature Ballerina, so it’s not QUITE the end); meanwhile the newcomers all serve admirably as well, with Skarsgard particularly impressing as one of the franchise’s best villains to date, slimy, entitled and exquisitely arrogant, the kind of Big Bad you just LOVE to hate, Wynnona Earp’s Shamier Anderson is a delightful revelation as Mr Nobody, a precocious up-and-coming hitman talent who certainly has a whole lot of potential for a possible future spinoff franchise of his own within this larger universe, Donnie Yen excels as usual as Cain, a former friend of John’s that the Marquis brings out of forced retirement in order to take the unkillable Baba Yaga out (clearly the filmmakers saw his blind badass take in Rogue One and they were like yeah, let’s have a whole lot more of THAT), Hiroyuki Sanada once more delivers effortless class and cool gravitas as Koji, the honourable and principled Manager of the Osaka Continental, and Scott Adkins is viciously impressive but also thoroughly surprising in an almost unrecognisable prosthetic getup as Killa Harkan, the brutish Head of the High Table in Berlin.  In the end, though, we’re once again here primarily to MARVEL at all the action exploits on display while wallowing in some of the richest and most well-crafted world-building there’s EVER BEEN on the big screen – this is a thoroughly fascinating universe, realised with

exquisite precision with so many cool little winks and nods and in-jokes to make the geeks among us grin and chuckle with sheer joy over the immense bounty on display, while veteran stuntman-turned-director Chad Stahelski once again wrangles some of the VERY BEST cinematic action EVER COMMITTED TO FILM in a series of astonishing and punishing set-pieces bravely executed with nary a visual effect in sight.  There are almost TOO MANY cool action beats in this movie to count, although the final BIG sequence, in which John fights his way up the spectacular but infamously punishing Stairs of Montmartre in Paris against an endless onslaught of thugs all determined to not let him reach the top, which includes one of the BIGGEST belly laughs I have EVER HAD at the cinema in my life, as much just over the joke’s sheer, ingenious AUDACITY, has to be the film’s undeniable highlight (closely followed by a genuinely INSANE run/gun/drive chase/shootout/fight sequence through the sheer chaos of the traffic around the Arc de Triomphe – every single one of these sequences is thrilling, they’re adrenaline fuelled and each crafted with such precision but also brilliantly varied inventiveness that it NEVER leads to vicarious battle fatigue.  Best of all, though, as with the previous film’s there’s a surprising amount of soul and heart and heft to the film too, which ultimately leads to a climax which is both immensely satisfying but also pretty devastating in its emotional power.  Altogether then, this was EASILY my action movie of the year, a fitting climax to an franchise which has come to SET THE BENCHMARK for this entire genre, and, honestly, just a damn fine movie in its own right.

2.  NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU – the scariest movie I saw in 2023 is a very strange beast indeed, a genuinely original and very leftfield piece of work despite tackling one of the most classic movie plot tropes out there – the alien invasion of a small American town.  What makes this such a noteworthy piece of work is that this film plays almost ENTIRELY without dialogue … SERIOUSLY, throughout the entire film’s run there’s only a SINGLE line of actual spoken dialogue delivered by its lead, the rest of the film relies entirely on sound effects and Joseph Trapanese’s atmospheric score alongside visual storytelling cues to gets its narrative across.  It’s an incredibly brave prospect and one which I’ll admit I wasn’t even EXPECTING when I first sat down to watch Hulu’s most blindingly successful offering of the past year, it kind of snuck up on me realising that nobody was actually SAYING anything, but I still knew EXACTLY what was happening.  This is because there’s ONE HELL of a writer-director at the helm of this project – I’ve been a big fan of Brian Duffield for a while now, having really loved his screenplay work in The Babysitter, Underwater and Love & Monsters, so when he dropped his actual FEATURE DIRECTING DEBUT in the middle of the Pandemic with 2020’s ingenious jet black teen comedy horror Spontaneous I was already onboard and in the aftermath simply COULD NOT WAIT to see what he’d do once he got his hands on a budget decent enough to actually deliver the kind of films he’d already been WRITING.  But even so, this one STILL left me shocked by just HOW FUCKING AMAZING it actually is, seriously, this is almost certainly THE MOST IMPRESSIVE movie I’ve seen in the past year, and DEFINITELY its most important from a filmmaking standpoint.  The story itself revolves almost EXCLUSIVELY around a slightly odd young woman named Brynn (Booksmart and Dopesick’s Kaitlyn Dever) living a seemingly idyllic but ultimately lonely life in her isolated home on the outskirts of a small town which seems to have universally shunned her for some initially unknown past crime … which means that she knows full well that there will, indeed, be NO ONE coming to her rescue when, one night, an alien walks into her home and starts tearing the place up using devastating telekinetic powers.  She

manages to escape after accidentally killing the creature, but this simply makes things worse as, when morning comes, she discovers that the whole town is in the middle of a subtle but TERRIFYING alien invasion and that they seem to have marked her as a particular threat.  From this beautifully simple starting point, Duffield has crafted a simply PERFECT scary movie, exquisitely paced and relentlessly driven as we hit the ground running the moment night falls after that initial time taken to establish Brynn’s place in the story, and he never lets off the brakes again until we reach the end.  This is a genuinely TERRIFYING piece of sci-fi horror, with the varied creatures in particular presented in impressively near flawless standards of CGI which really should be used as a major benchmark moving forward with the artform, while the frequent and substantial knuckle-whitening set-pieces are executed with a precision that verges on the simply RUTHLESS throughout.  It all plays out with a surprising denouement which feels cathartically PERFECT for everything that came before once you think about it a little, and the whole endeavour is aided ENORMOUSLY by the MASSIVE contribution of the film’s star herself – this is essentially a one woman show, and Dever easily proves the equal of the task, delivering an immensely potent performance that makes the striking lack of dialogue an ultimate significant VIRTUE since she’s able to convey SO MUCH with just a look, no matter the scene, so you find yourself latching onto her in the first ten minutes, meaning that when it goes from bad to worse to truly NIGHTMARISH you’re thoroughly invested in her desperate fight for survival.  This really is a star-making role, and I don’t doubt she’s due for a MAJOR raise in her profile moving forward … altogether this is a genuine MASTERPIECE, easily one of the undeniable HIGHLIGHTS of the past cinematic year and a great sign of things to come, one would hope, should the rest of Hollywood take notice.  Only time will tell … in the meantime take my advice, check it out and experience something TRULY SPECIAL …

1.  DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOUR AMONG THIEVES – so what, then, could POSSIBLY have beaten such astounding fare to the top spot this time round?  If you’d asked me that at the year’s start I DEFINITELY wouldn’t have thought it could be THIS … I mean SURE, I love D&D as much as the next geek, but even so this felt like SUCH a shameless cinematic cash-grab from Wizards of the Coast and Disney (producing through Paramount) that I felt there was NO WAY it could REALLY be an actual GOOD FILM.  At best I was expecting to be mildly entertained by a serviceable guilty pleasure, something that’s good for a Saturday night-in with a pizza and a six pack, not a genuine MASTERPIECE of cinematic adaptation.  And yet, it turns out that’s EXACTLY what we got – this film has ONE HUNDRED PERCENT clearly been made with the utmost love and respect for the source material because the only possible interpretation for the way they wrote this was by taking Player’s and Dungeon Master’s handbooks, a Monster Manual, some character sheets and a few dice bags and just turning the mini-campaign that ensued into a two-hour screenplay.  It’s clear that they are heavily steeped in respect and knowledge of the game itself, or were at least CONSTANTLY advised by experts who are, because this movie is AT EVERY STEP a pretty much PERFECT representation of the Forgotten Realms setting, the bestiary and even the game mechanics themselves IN ACTION, and it EVEN colours the way that the plot is laid out, how the characters interact and how some of the action sequences go.  (Seriously – a perfectly executed knockout on a knife-wielding hostage taker with a hurled potato?  That’s the Barbarian’s player landing a Natural 20 Critical Hit on their Attack Roll.  It love it.)  Sure, the results are likely to INFURIATE some people who think a little too highly about how FORMALLY WRITTEN their cinema should be, but for most folk this actually makes for a refreshingly honest and pretty unique piece of cinematic storytelling that actually works DAMN NEAR PERFECTLY from start to finish.  It also helps that the writer-director duo in

charge here are a pair of stalwart comedy movie veterans, namely Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daly of Horrible Bosses, Vacation and Spider-Man: Homecoming fame, whose extremely enjoyable previous directorial collab Game Night actually likely provided a useful throughline for them to get into tackling this one.  The main cast of dysfunctional heroes we follow through the story are even put together like a typical motley band of player characters – Chris Pine once again proves that he’s at his best when he’s doing broad comedy, thoroughly delightful as self-centred, opportunistic roguish Bard Edgin Darvis who, along with his platonic partner, tough-but-fair and sweetly naïve Barbarian warrior Holga Kilgore (played to absolute PERFECTION by Michelle Rodriguez in what’s UNDOUBTEDLY the best role she’s ever had, and definitely my FAVOURITE character here), enlists the help of bumbling, neuroses-riddled half-elf Sorcerer Simon Aumar (Pokémon Detective Pikachu’s Justice Smith, twitchy, unsure of himself and UTTERLY adorable) and shape-shifting Tiefling Druid Doric (It’s Sophia Lillis, forthright, dependable and immediately done with all of Edgin’s shit) to help them knock over the accumulated fortune of their one-time colleague, Rogue-turned-nobleman Forge Fitzwilliam (Hugh Grant once again expertly bringing home the scheming sleaze persona he’s perfected in more recent years now he’s finally said goodbye to his earlier days as an upper class heartthrob) and foil the dastardly machinations of the monstrous undead Red Wizard Sofina (a genuinely chilling and unsettling turn from Shadow & Bone’s Daisy Head); meanwhile there’s a top-notch supporting cast of “DM-controlled NPCs” that help the story flow and breathe as effortlessly as the main stars, from Bridgerton’s Rege-Jean Page as deliciously dry Paladin Xenk Yendar, the obviously-overpowered PC from another campaign that the DM brings in to help the party out when things go COMPLETELY WRONG for them, and Chloe Coleman (Gunpowder Milkshake) as Edgin’s estranged young daughter Kira, to Bradley Cooper in a truly INSPIRED and genuinely hilarious cameo as Holga’s decidedly diminutive ex-husband Marlamin.  Every single one of these is a well-rounded, living-and-breathing vital person in their own right, and the writers have crafted them and their misadventures with proper precision throughout, while the world has been realised with genuine skill and clear loving attention to detail, as well as a welcome reliance on real sets and locations and good old fashioned physical make-up and animatronics over pure digital effects wherever possible.  There are some pretty spectacular action sequences on offer here (the Underdark sequence with a decidedly overweight dragon is a particular highlight, although my personal favourite has to be the scene in which Doric has to pull off an unexpected escape by Wildshaping between different animal forms, all unfolding in a spectacular unbroken “single” take), but in the end this film is, first and foremost, a COMEDY, and while there’s plenty of heart and pathos on offer, as well as more than a little genuine DARKNESS here and there, ultimately almost everything is VERY MUCH played for laughs, and the end result is definitely the funniest film I encountered this past year.  It’s also just about the most effortlessly ENDEARING film I’ve come across in a very long time, and I have to admit I am SO GLAD that it managed to defy my low expectations SO MUCH, I feel VERY HAPPILY HUMBLED that I was proved SO WRONG this time round.  I’m genuinely hopeful that we get LOADS MORE of this going forward, I’d love a whole campaign’s worth of movies to grow out of this humble one-shot.  Best get those D20s rolling again, guys!

[oceaneyesinla]

4, 15, 25, 26 for the ask game 💕

Thanks for asking!!!! 🤍🫂

4) what's an inside joke you have with your family and friends?

There is one friend of mine at work who is beloved by all but is almost NEVER on time. She'll rock up to shifts late by about 5-10 minutes, always with some story about how the dogs put her shoe in a hole outside or she was baking a cake and lost track of time (there's overlap on shifts so none of us really mind too much and also she's very dear to everyone). The inside joke is me and my friend making funny predictions about what her reason will be for being late. It is also a running joke that she should start calling in only if she's going to be on time, because none of us are prepared for that 😂

15) what do you think of when you hear the word 'home'?

Home is the city I live in now. I started put commuting here when I was at uni and moved when I got a job at the local hospital. For me, it represents the life I've built for myself. But I still call my parents' house home too - I still say I'm going home when I'm talking about their house, even though I moved out five years ago

25) fave season and why?

Autumn!!!!!! One, it is my birthday season and two, it is spooky chilly season. I love it when the nights get a little longer and the temperatures drop and you start to get frost and leaves changing colour. Halloween unfortunately isn't such a big thing over here but I LOVE the vibes of Halloween and autumn

26) fave colour and why?

Blue! I kinda conditioned myself into it at first but now I genuinely love the colour. I especially love deeper darker blues, and one of my favourite things in the world is looking up at a clear blue sky first thing in the morning, ideally on a frosty morning

ask me fun questions!