#sitting in the house STRESSED and for what?

[yamumsyadadd]

missing sister (2)

Part 1

there will be 1 more in this series, set in the future.

“Nena, wake up. Noah? We need to leave.” Waking up was very disorienting. This was certainly not the bed from Keira’s apartment. It was too comfy, too warm and safe. 

“Alexia?” 

“Yes nena. You slept here last night. You’re coming with me and Olga. She’s going to drop me off at training and then you two are going to hang out.” 

Weird but okay. Begrudgingly, you got up. Taking the clothes handed to me from Olga and letting her guide me through to the bathroom. There were a lot of fancy things in there. Some smelt very nice, others did not. 

The hot shower and fancy products felt good. As soon as you stepped foot in the living area, Olga and Alexia stopped talking. Both turning to smile at me and usher you to the door. The car ride was quiet until we arrived at the training ground. 

“You’ll go with Olga today, I’ll talk to Keira and Lucy. We will see you later okay?” You nodded, not looking at her as she got out of the car. 

“Avísame si pasa algo. Mi amor, por favor, no la dejes fuera de tu vista. Te quiero.” She kissed Olga and walked away. 

Olga patted the front seat she was previously sitting in. “Mi amiga, piano. You like piano yes?” 

“I do yes.” 

“Perfecto! We go.” Her smile was infectious. There was something about Olga, the way she seemed to live so carefree. She was confident, within herself, her relationship with Alexia and her job. 

“Claudia Habla inglés. She good.” She led us up a small alleyway between two house, finally reaching someone’s backyard. There was a fire pit in the middle, couches and chairs surrounded it. Whoever lived here was very popular. 

“¡Hola Olga! ¡Como en!” The cheerful voice belonged to a blonde curly haired woman who has just as many tattoos as María. 

“Hola, Claud. Esta es Noah, la chica de la que te hablé”.

“HI Noah, I’m Claudia. Olga says you like the piano?” You nodded your head, hiding slightly behind Olga, “come this way, I have an old Steinway & Sons.” 

The piano was beautiful, situated in what looked to be a reading room. One wall covered in books, the other covered in paintings and photos, the main wall with big windows. It was like out of a movie. 

You sat down at the piano and started to play. It felt like only a few minutes had passed before Claudia and Olga came in for lunch. 

“What is that?” You pointed towards the weird cake looking thing on the table. 

“Tortilla.” Olga sat down, taking a drink and giving you a look to do the same. 

“It’s basically an omelette. Eggs, potatoes, oil, onion.  I have tomato sauce if you want it?” 

“Sure. Thanks.” It had the same texture as a normal omelette but it tasted better. It was heavier, thanks to the potatoes. Spanish food was mostly better than English, expect for the fish and chips. Nothing topped ours. 

No one spoke during lunch time, or while we cleaned up. 

“Have you heard from Alexia?” You asked Olga quietly. She shook her head, giving your shoulder a squeeze. You went back and sat at the piano, staying there until a very stressed Olga came in. 

The conversation between Alexia, Keira and Lucy was over and we needed to leave.

“After practice we need to talk please Keira. Lucia come too.” Alexia was firm but not unkind with her voice. 

From the moment Keira, Lucy and Alexia sat down, Keira was on edge, ready to defend whatever her little sister did. 

“Noah is with Olga, at Claudia’s house. She has said some things, I’ve noticed some things and no doubt Lucy too.” Alexia started, she didn’t want to come off aggressive or accuse her of anything. 

“What Alexia? What has Noah said?” 

“You know she’s plays piano? Draws very good too. Better than Mapi, better than anyone I’ve seen. She feels as though you, and your parents do not care about her, see her-“

“that’s ridiculous! We all care about her! She’s just a dramatic teenage.” 

“Keira.” Lucy saw it. She’s seen it from the beginning. Birthdays were missed in favour of Keira’s games, every time she spoke to the Walsh parents all they would talk about was Keira, never Noah. If she didn’t know Noah existed, there would be no trace. “She was going to music school in London. She’d catch the train, stay with Leah and come home. Your parents never noticed because they were never around. From an outsider, you wouldn’t know Noah existed to your parents, or really to you.” 

“What the hell are you saying Lucy? I talk about her, I care about her. I took her in didn’t I? She’s here because I took her instead of letting them ship her off to a boarding school!” Keira was defensive, she didn’t want to believe what both Alexia and Lucy were saying. 

“She’s given up a lot for you, because of you.” Alexia said. 

“I never asked her too!” 

“For fuck sake Kei. She’s a child. A child. She didn’t have a choice. You have been so consumed by your own life, your own relationships that you can’t even see it. She’s 16, yet she acts like an adult because that’s the only way people will take notice of her.” 

There was only silence that followed for the next few minutes. 

“I spoke to Leah, which for the record was hard because she speaks so fast and her accent is worse than yours, but I suggest you talk to her, then talk to Noah but don’t get defensive. Listen to what she has to say, really listen. Itll be hard to hear it but I think it’s needed.” Alexia stood up, squeezing Keira’s shoulder then leaving. Sending Olga a text to bring Noah home so Keira or Lucy could pick her up. 

“What the hell do I do Lucy?” 

“Do as capi said, talk to Leah, then listen to Noah.” 

“Have you known the entire time?” 

“No. I told you during the world cup what she told me, but I don’t think that was the full story.” 

“I just thought she didn’t want to be there, that she was missing her friends, her life, I didn’t realise it was something more.” 

Silence took over the trio, their drinks empty, minds full. 

“What do I do?” Keira asked. 

“Listen to her, don’t interrupt her or anything. Let her tell you how she’s been feeling and what’s been happening.” 

“Is she at your apartment?” 

“No she’s with Olga but I’ll message her to bring her back.” 

It didn’t take long for the trio to arrive at Alexia and Olga’s apartment, you were still beaming from happiness until Lucy and Keira walked in. It was a weird feeling, having a happy day seemingly ripped through your fingers when Keira said the simple words of ‘we need to talk.’ 

The drive back to Keira’s was rough. Everyone was anxious, no one said a word. The futile attempt to escape to your room the second you entered was halted by Lucy’s strong arms guiding you to the couch. 

“I want you to tell me everything. I will not talk, I will not make judgment or anything but I need to know Noah.” Keira said, she tried to be firm, but it came out more as a plea. 

“There’s nothing to tell.” 

“Don’t play dumb. You’re a completely different kid with Alexia and Olga, even with Leah. Why?” 

“Why?” You scoffed, “can’t you figure it out yourself?” 

“No because what I thought was that you were just a bad kid. I was told you were skipping school, sneaking out, doing drugs. But here, here you’re different so what gives?” 

“It wasn’t sneaking out or skipping school. Technically.” Keira gave you a look so you continued, “anytime I asked to go out, ma and dad would just say ‘do whatever, we won’t be home later’, blah blah blah. It wasn’t sneaking only ever sneaking out when they had friends over and needed to keep up appearances. As for the skipping school, I was enrolled in special music and art classes at the TAFE, then I’d go to London for classes on Saturday’s.” 

“And the drugs? Vapping?” 

“I tried weed once. That’s all I swear. I didn’t like the feeling so I didn’t do it again. The others did but I didn’t. And yeah I’ve vaped, not since I’ve been here though.” 

“Ma and dad never said anything about your music classes.“ 

“Yeah because they didn’t know, or care. I’m not sure but I didn’t want to find out.” 

“Why didn’t you come to me? You went to Leah, even Lucy but you wouldn’t come to me. Why Noah?” Keira was getting frustrated, she was hurt and confused. 

“how could I? You were here or busy with your life in Manchester. You said it yourself, you believed what they told you. Everything was always about you Keira, not me. I was always told not to both you because you were busy. Every year it got worse, missing birthdays, missing Christmas, missing art shows or recitals.” 

The tears that had formed in both yours and Keira’s eyes were now free flowing. Lucy was sat in the armchair, Narla curled up at her feet. She was there purely to keep the peace, to make sure both sides were heard. 

“My art is good. Really good. Olga paid me to make a drawing for Alexia, Jana has asked me to draw a photo of her and Jill in Amsterdam, so many people have paid me for commission art. I have thousands saved and I was planning on leaving as soon as I turned 18. I taught Leah how to play the piano, I’ve sold music sheets, done a Christmas concert at the London Music Hall. I get good grades, good enough that I can go to college in America if I want, but no one knows because no one cares.”

“I care.” Keira chocked back a sob, feeling a mixture of pride and guilt. Guilt for being so wrapped up in her own world that she forgot to include you in hers. “I care noodle. I’m so proud of you truly. I want to fix this. Fix it all. Please just tell me what I need to do.” 

“Don’t make me go back. Not to Manchester, if I have to go back I’ll stay in London or-“

“You’re not going back, Noah.” Lucy said firmly. Yes you were Keira’s sister, but for the majority of your life, Lucy was around. So to her, you were also her sister and she felt just as bad as Keira. “You’ll either stay here with Keira, or you can stay with me. Alexia and Olga would even take you too. Maybe we need to do a custody agreement between the four of us.” 

Before you had a chance to do anything, Keira launched herself into your body. Hugging you as tight as humanly possible. You’d give her the benefit of doubt, she didn���t know but it didn’t excuse anything. 

The relationship between you and your parents was less than good, but it didn’t really matter to you. You had your art and your music. No one could take that away from you. 

By winter break, things with Keira were better. Not perfect, but you were sisters so that was unlikely. Her plan was to go home to England for Christmas, however you didn’t want to. Alexia and Olga both agreed you’d come with them and with their help, Keira agreed. 

When Olga finally gifted the hand drawn photo to Alexia, there were a lot of tears. Alexia rugby tackled you to the ground, kissing all over your face while crying happy tears. Eli thanked you as well, in a much more gentle way. 

It was the first Christmas that things felt good. You weren’t around purely to keep up appearances, you didn’t have to hide away or force conversation with anyone. 

Maybe Spain was where you’d find a home, and a person to share that home with. 

[ellecdc]

I have come with a Finnick request.

What about reader growing up in a district where it snowed every winter, then moved with Finnick to District 4, and she misses it deeply.

BUT, it gets cold enough there to snow and she gets all bubbly and excited and it's just fluff and Finnick watching her adoringly. I bestow creative freedom upon you, as my brain is fried. 🤍❄️

thanks for the prompt, dolly <3

Finnick Odair x gn!reader who misses the snow [898 words]

CW: written for a fem!reader but can be read as gender neutral, slight illusion to this being set post-rebellion but nothing explicit, reader's implied to not be from District Four, fluff

Finnick probably could have given it a bit longer, but after approximately 37 seconds of consideration, he decided to wake you up.

You’d been a touch quiet as of late, and though Finnick didn’t necessarily blame you, he wished he at least knew why. The holidays could be a stressful time of year, let alone all that the bunch of you had been through and all that you’d lost this past year alone.

But, you had each other, you were safe at home with him in District Four, and if what you needed right now was to be a little blue, well, Finnick understood, and he’d love you through it. 

And then he woke up this morning to snow, and he realized:

You had gone all out on the decorations - his coastal cottage looking more like a gingerbread house than the seaside oasis that it was - but even Finnick couldn’t help the nagging feeling that something was missing.

It was the snow. 

You’d been missing the snow. 

“Honey.” He murmured as he crawled up to meet you at the head of the bed, stationing himself on his forearms as he gently laid some of his weight on top of you. “Sweetheart, wakeup.” 

He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck as you groaned something incoherent though completely and utterly adorable. He spent some time trailing kisses along your shoulder and up your neck to your jaw.

“Come on, gorgeous, I gotta show you something.” He murmured into the corner of your mouth before pressing a kiss there.

“S’early, Finn.” You complained, though one of your arms wrapped around his shoulder to thread your fingers through the hairs at the nape of his neck as he continued dotting kisses over your face. 

“I know, honey, but I’ve got a surprise for you.” He insisted, though he could hardly take responsibility for the light dusting of snow layering the landscape outside.

You wrenched one eye open to look at him skeptically, and he laughed as he ran his thumb over your lashes to clear the remaining sleep in them. 

“What’s the surprise?” You asked, gauging whether it was worth extricating yourself from your warm cocoon or not. 

“It’s snowing.”

You nearly headbutted Finnick in your haste to sit up, throwing the blankets almost clean off the bed completely and sliding across the hardwood floors to smoosh your face up against the windows. 

Finnick hadn’t been lying, and you were met with the quite unusual yet very beautiful sight of snow dusting along the golden sand of the beach, disturbed only by the spots that the salty waves had splashed up and took the snow away with the tide. 

“Finnick.” You let out breathlessly, a moment of silence before you spun on your feet to look at him with tears in your eyes. “Finnick!”

“Sweetheart!” He emulated. 

“It’s snowing!” 

He beamed at you. “It is!”

You made a breathy sound before you took off out of the room, returning a few moments later with a hat, mitts, a scarf, and your boots. 

“Do you not want to get dressed first, sweetheart?” He asked around a laugh, though he bent down to help you put your boots on anyway.

“There’s no time, Finnick.”

“We’ve got all the time in the world, honey.” He argued, but you were already standing, hastily tossing the end of your scarf over your shoulder before pulling the door open and rushing outside. 

It was a sight; clad in only your pyjamas, scarf, mitts, hat, and boots as you stared up at the sky with as wide a smile on your face as Finnick could ever remember seeing on you, snowflakes settling into bits of your exposed hair that enjoyed your effervescence for but a few moments before they melted under your unyielding warmth and sunny disposition. 

“Finnick!”

“It’s snowing.” He agreed, smiling as he leaned against the door frame. 

“It’s snowing.” You whispered reverently. “It’s snowing! Finn! Grab your boots!” 

And who was Finnick to say no to you? So he ran back inside to grab his jacket and boots, as well as a coat for you. He returned to find you, disturbingly, on your knees as you piled the damp, heavy snow between your hands to create a very small, very lopsided snowman. 

You didn’t even startle as Finnick stepped up behind you to drape your jacket over your shoulders. 

“He’s very cute, honey.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple before he pulled your hat down further over your ears. 

“I love him.” You claimed eagerly.

“I love you.” He volleyed. 

You turned to look up at him then, causing his insides to feel not unlike the snowflakes leaving tiny dew drops in your eyelashes; he, too, melting under your effervescent warmth. 

“I love you too, Finn.” You told him, standing to come and fold yourself into his chest; your damp mittens pressed an indent into the back of his jacket as he held onto yours to keep it from sliding off your frame. You tilted your head up and rested your chin on his chest, eyes overflowing with love and contentment. “I love this. I love our life.”

Finnick decided then that he would have to figure out how to make sure you never went another holiday without your snow, not if it made you this happy. 

“I do too, sweetheart.”

[ineedpaigebuckets]

Pazzi angst fluff!!!

protect you

an: first one shot!!! TRIGGER WARNING HANNAH HIDALGO MENTIONED!!! anyways enjoy!!!

------------------------------------------------------

paige was just lying on azzis chest as they watched home alone at azzis parents house. everyone else was asleep so it was just the two of them. ice being the instigator she is texted paige a tiktok of a hannah hidalgo live. paige watched the video volume on low so azzi couldn't hear. "what do you think of azzi fudd, i don't think about her what are you talking about." "there was no azzi in that game. congratulations! nobody asked." the words irked paige in a way she'd rather not describe she just huffed and started frantically typing out this long ass paragraph in hannah's dms before azzi heard the sound of typing.

"paige baby whatchu so stressed about?" she asked her voice soft as she places a soft hand on paige's cheek.

"fuckin hate hidalgo." she groans still typing. azzi gently tries to take paige's phone out of her hand but she doesn't budge.

"stop it azzi!" she says her voice more annoyed than usual causing azzi to flinch back.

"paige what is your problem." snatches paige's phone shoving it under her butt causing paige to sit up next to her climbing off of her chest.

"you didn't see her fucking live it was all "azzi fudd this azzi fudd that" blah blah blah bad mouthing my girl." azzi groaned and rolled her eyes. brushing her hair out of her face so she could properly yell at paige.

"paige i don't give a fuck what she has to say. i promise you it's fine. now what were you typing?" she asks pulling the phone back out and reading the text paige had wrote. still unsent thank god. azzi reads the message.

"fucking talk about my girl like that one more time and you're gonna find yourself trouble. this ain't about basketball and you know it. you gotta problem with me and my girlfriend say it to my fucking face not the whole internet. you're immature and you have no class-"

that's where azzi took the phone. her mouth is hung open as she reads the words and she stands up.

"paige madison you were not about to throw away your fucking career over this. you can't just say that." she's clearly mad. but all i'm good reason, she wanted paige to be the best she could be, get all the awards win all the games, the championships anything she could, this was not gonna help.

"you think i wouldn't do that to stand up for you azzi." paige doesn't stand up she stays seated, her anger all gone as she realized azzi was right. but her words were true. if it had hurt azzi in anyway she'd send it in a second.

"m'sorry i just wanna protect you." azzis face drops at paige's sweet words and she sits back in the spot on her couch with a huff.

"you're so fucking stupid." azzi grumbles but the cant hide the small smile on her face. she's deleted the paragraph and turned off paige's phone. of course paige crawls over and curls back into azzis chest.

"jus love you" she mumbles into azzis shirt and she can't help but hold the blonde close.

"i know i love you too so much." she whispers pressing soft kisses against her forehead.

"next time talk to me first alright. think before you act." paige nods and turns her attention back to the movie and the beautiful girl underneath her.

[hunieday]

Yuki - 16PRODUCERS Rabbit Chat

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Momo: (Good morning... Momo from Re:vale here...)

Momo: (Today I’m at Yuki’s place early in the morning…. To have a very exceptional conversation... Okarin, can you hear me…)

Okazaki Rinto: Thank you for your hard work, Momo-kun! But what’s with the odd energy, it’s as if you’re playing a wake-up prank?

Momo: (I’m keeping the energy low since Yuki’s still stuck drifting in dreamland…)

Yuki: I’m sleepy

Momo: Kyaa! Yuki’s here in person!! Even sleepy Yuki is super handsome 😍✨

Momo: Yuki just got up from the sofa! 🥺🌟 Okariiiin! How are things going in the studio?

Okazaki Rinto: Yuki-kun, thanks for your hard work as well. So I’m supposed to be stationed in the studio?

Okazaki Rinto: The president walked out to attend a meeting just now, so it’s really quiet here. I just made some coffee!

Momo: You’re all set for the discussion!! And guess what, Yuki’s brewing some tea for us too! 😭 Such a gentleman...! 😭✨

Momo: Camera crew, zoom in closer‼️

Okazaki Rinto: There’s a camera crew?

Momo: I’m the camera crew!

Yuki: Momo brought two phones today for some reason.

Momo: Well yeah, since we’re gonna talk via rabbichat today I wouldn’t be able to capture your beautiful face otherwise!!! So I brought my spare phone to record you 😎😎

Yuki: How dedicated

Okazaki Rinto: How very dedicated.

Momo: Hey wait a sec, I just noticed while I was snapping pics but is your neck hurting, Yuki!?!?!?!?!?

Yuki: You caught me. I probably slept wrong.

Yuki: I fell asleep at the desk while I was composing and now I can’t turn my head to the right

Momo: Huhhhh!!!! Then I’ll sit on your right side to protect your neck!!

Yuki: Absolutely not. I won’t be able to see your face

Momo: Wait a sec,,,,,,

Momo: Yuki, aren’t you pulling the Super Darling gun a bit too early in the morning….being this beautiful should be illegal!?!?!? 😭😭

Yuki: Only for you, Momo.

Yuki: But what exactly are you protecting my neck from?

Momo: Oh you know, a stray baseball flying in from the right, or someone bumping into you and making you stumble!!

Yuki: That’s straight out of a manga.

Yuki: So what would you do if a water bucket came flying in from the left?

Momo: I’ll dash to block it and say something like “close call…”!!! lolololol

Momo: Wait, Yuki, why’s your manga knowledge so extensive!?!?

Yuki: Ruri-san made me read some when I visited your house.

Momo: What the hell is nee-san plotting lololololol

Yuki: It was pretty interesting.

Okazaki Rinto: I’m glad you seem to be enjoying yourselves over there! Now then, shall we get started?

Momo: Sorry Okarin lolololol we’re sitting across from each other and ready to start 🤩 

Okazaki Rinto: Good! They requested a laid-back, relaxed conversation for this, that’s why we’re doing it through rabbichat.

Okazaki Rinto: Let’s start with Yuki-kun, how did you feel when you heard that Momo-kun was going to produce your song?

Yuki: I was really happy of course. Momo always gives me energy with his warm words, so I was curious about what kind of melody he would give me through this production.

Yuki: Momo’s very good at conveying his feelings, so I always felt like he’d have a knack for creating music that resonates with people, something that lingers in their minds and stays in their hearts, warm and comforting.

Okazaki Rinto: I see…! That’s a perspective only someone who regularly composes music would have.

Momo: Oh you... You always make me happy with your words, Yuki 🥲

Momo: But to be honest, it was suuuuper stressful….

Yuki: Really? Even though “Can’t Stop Emotion” turned out amazing.

Momo: Yuki,,,,

Yuki: It’s tough, but also a lot of fun, right? Making music I mean.

Momo: Yeah. It was a lot of fun.

Momo: I didn’t fully compose the song myself since it was a team effort, so I didn’t fully understand everything you do but

Momo: Having to convey my feelings through something other than words and gestures was super difficult, but I was so happy. How do I explain it… I treasure that feeling!

Yuki: I can relate

Yuki: Whenever I’m working on a new song, I start cursing everything around me. I contemplate never working on anything like that ever again, quitting songwriting altogether. But when I’m finished and I hear Momo’s voice on the song, I realize that “ah, there’s no other job that could make me happier than this.”

Momo: Yuki,,,Can I sit next to you,,,,?

Yuki: This position is very comfortable.

Momo: Awwww ‼️ I got rejected 😭‼️

Okazaki Rinto: So Momo-kun, how did you decide on what direction to take amidst all your hard work?

Momo: First and foremost, I thought about what kind of Yuki I wanted to portray! Like the Yuki who’s not a morning person, the Yuki who’s super proactive when it counts, the Yuki who’s sensitive and overflowing with emotion, the Yuki who’s amazing at cooking, super into cleaning, who’s just a kind, dashing gentleman with a beautiful voice…

Momo: But at the end of the day, I wanted to shine the spotlight on Yuki’s passion for music. A quiet, calm, yet fiercely unwavering flame. I wanted to express that dignified strength and the freedom in his boundless music.

Momo: And that’s the reason why the intro is quiet and minimalistic, but as the chorus hits, the music bursts forth like it’s flying, flapping its wings, dancing, being set free, going on a journey! Those are the feelings that resonate within me when I listen to the music Yuki makes for me!

Yuki: You really put a lot of thought into this

Yuki: You have real talent, Momo

Momo: Huhhh???!!! you don’t have to flatter meee 😆 even though that makes me happy 😆✨

Yuki: I’m serious.

Momo: Y-You really made your point come across...

Okazaki Rinto: What on earth just happened over there?

Momo: Yuki sat down next to me 🥹🥹

Yuki: I made sure to face him from the side that doesn’t hurt.

Yuki: It’s just as you described, Momo. When I got the demo, I was moved by how the song felt like it was taking me on an ever-changing journey.

Yuki: I felt the same way I did the day you brought me out of that dark place, showing me so many new and different sides of this world.

Yuki: Maybe that’s why the song felt familiar to me.

Momo: You’re the one who changed my world, Yuki!

Momo: Back when I thought there was only one path for me, when I felt trapped and depressed, I came across the music you wrote.

Momo: It warmed my frozen body, frigid to the tips of my fingers, brought color back to my world, and filled me with the urge to move ahead, to be passionate about something.

Momo: I poured all those feelings from back then, how I feel now, as well as my desire for us to always stay at the top into the lyrics!

Yuki: I wouldn’t have been able to move forward if not for your words.

Yuki: I felt like giving up on everything at some point, I could’ve thrown it all away. But you’ve always been there to save me. That’s why it’s all for y-

Yuki: No

Yuki: Nevermind, I don’t think I can say that right now, but I will tell you this

Yuki: "Can’t Stop Emotion" will be my treasure, always and forever.

Yuki: Stay by my side and keep singing with me, Momo. You’re the absolute king, unparalleled by anyone.

Momo: Okay,,,

Momo: A long, heartfelt message from Yuki,,,I’m eating so well,,,

Okazaki Rinto: What a wonderful day for you two to be honest with each other. I’ll keep supporting Re:vale forever and beyond!

Okazaki Rinto: Alright, can you please tell us more about the costume?

Momo: Sure!!! First of all, Yuki’s like a snow fairy who descended upon us during winter, so I pictured the stars shining brightly in the clear winter night sky 🪄🧚‍♂️☃️

Yuki: A fairy, huh?

Momo: You’re such a beautiful fairy that your face stands out amidst the clashing patterns! I wanted to show off your gorgeous sex appeal, that’s why I decided to express that with a variety of intricate patterns💫

Momo: And then I added chiffon material to the jacket to evoke the image of the starry sky, with scattered, shiny silver details all over, paired it with slim-fit pants to accentuate Yuki’s figure and balance the outfit for a sharp, smart look!! 💫

Yuki: Your fingers move so fast when you’re talking about me that it’s impressive

Momo: Well I am talking about Yuki after all 👍👍

Okazaki Rinto: Thank you for the passionate explanation! What about the details in the photoshoot itself?

Momo: Didn’t it look like a snow fairy had descended!? 🪄🧚‍♂️☃️ I really wanted to make it snow for real, but I didn’t want Yuki to feel cold, I was thinking about what to do and then it hit me…

Momo: Why not use light to represent that snow!? And that’s how we got Yuki, sparking gorgeously like the handsome man he is 🌟

Yuki: Everything was dazzling for real 

Momo: That’s how much Yuki shines in my eyes! From the first time we met until now! Forever and always!!

Yuki: Really? You’re always shining bright, Momo.

Momo: For real!? 🥹 Then we can always enjoy that light together 🎄

Yuki: That’s true ^^

Okazaki Rinto: It’s Christmas, so that works perfectly!

Momo: I love how you’re always watching from a distance without interrupting when we’re like this, Okarin 🥹

Okazaki Rinto: I’m flattered! As much as I’d love to see more of your shenanigans, it’s time for you to say a few words to your fans…!

Momo: "Can’t Stop Emotion" is like a selfish wish of mine. It doesn’t portray the gentle, idol-like Yuki. Instead fully expressing my admiration, my love for him, my passion and my promise to keep going as the kings.

Momo: So, I hope our fans listen to this song and continue supporting us, forever and ever. We’ll fly towards the miracle waiting for us tomorrow!

Yuki: Momo called it “a selfish song”, so I want everyone to know how elated I am and how tremendously important it is to me that Momo’s being this selfish.

Yuki: And I feel so much more determined now that this song has been gifted to me. I’ll continue to be the absolute champion, together with Momo. And I hope all of you will follow us.

Yuki: Thanks to Momo, I’ve rediscovered the joy of creating music. I know what it’s like to push through everything to go on, to aim higher and higher. That’s why Re:vale is invincible.

Yuki: There’s no one greater than us, is there? Let’s move towards the future we want to see with you, with everyone.

Momo: Yuukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Yuki: Momo’s crying now.

Okazaki Rinto: Maybe he’s still hung up on the fact that you couldn’t wipe his tears last time!? (1)

Yuki: Today’s a Re:valeful day, so come over when you’re done, Okarin.

Okazaki Rinto: What do you have in mind?

Momo: Oh yeah, we’re gonna rewatch all our past live performances! We’re gonna reminisce over drinks! (๑>؂•̀๑)👍

Yuki: It felt like the right time to reflect on everything we’ve done so far, especially fresh off producing songs for each other.

Okazaki Rinto: Is it really okay for me to intrude on such a special day...?

Momo: Of course! Re:vale’s journey would be incomplete with you, Okarin!

Yuki: Re:vale’s what it is because you’re here with us.

Okazaki Rinto: Thank you so much! I’ll bring something tasty with me!!

Momo: Hell yeah! Then, let’s chat until morning!! 🥳

(1)This is a reference to Momo’s 16PRODUCERS Rabbit chat.

[househrt]

early-years Hilson where it's the first time they've been in the same state for Christmas, and Wilson is freaking out about buying House the perfect Christmas present

he hasn't learnt yet that House will absolutely never buy anyone a present of any kind (unless it's for a joke and/or prank and/or oddly elaborate foreplay) and Wilson still feels the need to earn House's approval, so he continues to stress

maybe he gives up after a mild panic attack or two, and just asks House what he wants for Christmas, and then they Do That: sitting on House's couch, eating takeaway, getting drunk, watching shitty tv shows and gossiping with each other until they crash

which then becomes their standard Christmas tradition

[taojjang]

𐙚 babysitting with riize .ᐟ

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ advent calendar, day twenty-four! pairing: bf!riize x reader, genre: fluff! warnings: CHILDREN.

synopsis: riize reactions when you're suddenly put on babysitting duty during the holidays!

a/n: merry christmas eve !! i hope everyone is excited for tomorrow and i hope this week will be so amazing for all of u!!! this fic is less holiday-oriented but i thought this would be such a cute xmas eve gift 🥹🧡 enjoy!

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⋆ ˚ ۪ ⋆ ୨୧

✩ shotaro ⸝⸝

・ loves babies!

・ taro absolutely jumps at the idea of babysitting your little brother for the holidays

・ the second he meets the toddler, he's already squealing at how adorable he is

・ it doesn't take long for him to start acting up :( but taro handles it shockingly well, telling him off with a gentle yet stern voice

・ takes him to go play in the snow to make up for it <3

・ your camera roll is filled with so many photos of them playing together and taking long naps after their tiring snowball fights :3

✩ eunseok ⸝⸝

・ oh he's been WAITING for this day.

・ dealing with a brother fifteen years younger than him, he's more than qualified to watch after your younger brother.

・ he prepares a bunch of food to cook for the boy, always asking him what he's craving

・ he's having the time of his life cooking while listening to your giggles and baby talk all the way from the kitchen <3

・ your heart melts seeing him blow on the food to make sure it doesn't hurt the baby and even feeds him while he's playing with his toy cars :(

・ he ends up getting along well with the boy and even asks you if he could babysit more often!

✩ sungchan ⸝⸝

・ "baby, do you mind if we babysit my s-" "yes."

・ the moment you mention babysitting your baby sister for the holidays, sungchan is already putting on his coat to go buy gifts for her :(

・ once he meets her, he is HEAD OVER HEELS.

・ this boy is such girl dad material :(

・ he showers her with gifts and happily watches her play with them, letting her test out the hair accessories on him just to see her having fun

・ your heart just can't contain seeing him with such an adoring look :( long story short you beg your parents to keep her with you for a little longer

✩ wonbin ⸝⸝

・ wonbin would be so anxious watching after your baby cousin </3

・ he'd constantly be fretting about whether the house is baby-proof enough, keeping his eye on her at all times in case she gets hurt

・ always asking you if you've fed her or showered her yet

・ seeing him so overwhelmed, you reassure him everything is alright and not to worry so much since you got it!

・ he takes a break while you play with her but he can't help coming back to watch u play with the baby so adorably >w<

・ once the baby's energy pipes down, wonbin takes her to the bedroom for naptime and you end up catching them cuddled up on your bed :((

✩ seunghan ⸝⸝

・ once you mention babysitting he's all YIPPIEEE! YAYYAY >W< yAYYY!! WAHOOOOO!!! XD

・ but on the contrary, you're stressing so much since you know your little brother is INSANE

・ hani reassures you he'll take care of everything and everything will go by just fine!

・ which surprisingly it does..!

・ your brother is surprisingly tamed when he plays with seunghan, calmly putting together puzzles while eating his favorite snacks

・ seeing hani get so giggly and affectionate with your baby brother makes you fall in love with him all over again </3

✩ sohee ⸝⸝

・ this baby knows nothing about taking care of kids!! save this boy!!!

・ as the youngest of his family, he's never taken care of kids much but of course he's down to help you babysit your little cousin!

・ but once he finds out that the boy likes video games he's SET

・ sits in front of the tv with him for hourssss just playing all the games he has on the console

・ but once you urge him to take time away from the tv, he obliges and shuts it off immediately

・ then seeing you set the dinner table for him and the boy makes him feel all warm inside </3 it gets so much worse seeing you feed him and pat him on the head with that pretty smile on your face... yeah he's got baby fever now!

✩ anton ⸝⸝

・ AHHHHH YOU NEED TO PUT A RING ON HIS FINGER

・ he doesn't hesitate whatsoever when agreeing to watch your baby cousin

・ you were worried since you'd be watching after an infant and carrying so many responsibilities, but toni has your back!

・ he'd always have the baby in his arms, gently cradling her and cooing little noises at her to make her smile <3

・ he wouldn't let you stress for even a second, always making you sit down whenever the baby cries and taking care of it himself

・ but once he sees you sitting by her crib and looking at her with such soft eyes, he's tearing up :(( begs you to keep her around a little longer

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⋆ ˚ ۪ ⋆ ୨୧

a/n: sorry this one isn't a full fledged fic..! i thought headcannons would be so much cuter for this one so i hope you guys liked this! i'm so excited for tomorrow and i hope everyone has an amazing christmas!

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ tag list! (ask or comment to be added!)

@endtostartbreathin @gacktsa @hanninova @ramyeonzprincess @taroddori

[megumimania]

art is in his mid 40s, reader is in late 20s/early 30s, smut (18+), p in v sex, choking, art is hungry as fuck, use of petnames. @cindol this one is for you babes!!

“you alright sweetheart?”

his voice is what snaps you out of your writing frenzy.

art’s dressed in a polo and khaki set with his sunglasses on, a glass of bourbon sitting pretty in his left hand. his serving hand. you almost shiver as you remember the way his calloused hands brushed against the small of your back in passing.

he takes the seat next to yours, his knees slightly brushing yours as he peers over your laptop that is covered by post it notes that contain the editors tweaks and suggestions.

for the next ten minutes the only constant sound interrupting his midday zen was the aggressive sound of you hitting the space and backspace button on your laptop.

the sound of your frustration and stress is palpable and before you slam the backspace button again, he breaks the silence.

“you should take a break.” he offers, the concern evident in his voice and for a split second you consider it, toying with it in your mind. but then reality hits and you remember the editor's harsh emails and the final deadline that is just looming around the corner.

“i’d love to but i can’t.” you sighed giving him an apologetic smile, “first draft is due at the end of the week.”

art looked at you confused for a second before he realised what you were talking about. his memoir.

it was why you were here in the first place. you spent weeks on the road with him heading to every conference, game or whatever event he decided to show up to when his team wanted to remind the public he was still very much alive.

he thought it was a stupid idea at first, another cash grab for his management to seep their paws into but art wasn’t having it. the only way they managed to get him to say yes was if they brought an up and coming writer onto the project.

over time your presence was something he had gotten used to, even though you often felt like you were overstepping his boundaries by being in his home so often. you’d then remind yourself that you were contracted on a professional basis, to ghost write his memoir that you’ll be paid for, in both money and notoriety.

but when art woke up to the sound of your footsteps shuffling around in the kitchen or the sound of you typing away on his laptop on the patio, it made the house feel less like an investment and more like a home. after all it had been a couple of years since he’d had a woman stay longer than a night or a couple of hours at his home.

“c’mon you’ve been on that wretched thing all day, your eyes must be killing you huh?” he cajoles, another attempt to get you to hang out with him.

art takes another sip of his drink eyeing you once more, feeling grateful for the little bit of sun the hampshire’s decided to grace you all with today.

his eyes roam over your figure, not for too long though he doesn’t want to creep you out but he’s not blind. you are a stunning woman and he likes that you weren’t blind to that fact.

“you know you wanna, who knows maybe playing a quick tennis match, will get your creative juices flowing.” usually you’d decline but when he stares at you with those baby blues that haven’t dimmed with age, it sends a shiver down your spine.

his eyebrows wiggle, earning a groan from you but you relented, saving the file before closing your laptop and heading back to get changed into more suitable attire. who knows maybe stepping into his domain would help with your writer’s block right now.

tennis with art was not something easy, despite his graceful playing style he was an actual powerhouse on the court and you couldn’t keep up. 

“you’re tapping out already?” he grins, whilst you’re too busy catching your breath to respond. all you can muster is a middle finger to which he laughs at.

you realised in the end, that if you were gonna win, you had to resort to dirty tactics.

“god, it is so hot out here!” you said, fanning yourself whilst taking off your jacket to reveal your figure. you based the success rate of this tactic on art being a typical man with desires.

and it worked.

who knew a simple dress would throw art off kilter? his movements grew less refined and more messy as the game progressed, with you throwing him off his a-game. his eyes were glued to your bod, you used this to your advantage as you made the winning serve.

the ball whizzes past art and he is a second too late to hit it back. you drop the racket basking in the sunlight and your newfound victory.

it’s oddly quiet on his front, a professional like him that couldn’t show decent showmanship? it was nothing new in the world of tennis—arrogant athletes who saw accepting defeat as a bruise to their overinflated ego.

however the thoughts stewing in art’s mind cannot be expressed plainly, he drinks you in, an incubus-esque hunger taking over him. the way your body glistened in the sunlight as a light sheen of sweat covered you from head to toe, to the white attire that made you seem heaven sent.

oh he was spiraling.

it wasn’t like he could do casual relationships, he had a few fleeting ones post split with tashi but art’s hunger prevailed where his logic could not. he wasn’t satisfied with a simple night.

underneath that cold yet affable demeanour that he spent years working on and correcting, there was a part of him that required something more deeper, more intense.

“so what’s my reward?” you ask, still up on the high that beating art gave you.

he decides to indulge you in whatever you want—his desires can be suppressed for another day. last time he got you a new laptop for beating him in a game of pool. however he’s taken off guard when he feels your soft lips press against his own, stirring up a pot of desire in him that cannot be contained.

so when you end up on his plush bed with him above you, your dress bunched up to your stomach as he fucks you relentlessly without pause, you’re in bliss. the sounds of art’s gold medals, clinking against your stomach with each thrust sends shivers down your spine, the cool metal against your skin driving you insane.

art thinks you’re beautiful like this, all splayed out for him to see, adorned with several of his gold medals, that he has won in several championships like wimbledon and the us open. he knows he’s being mean, bullying your sweet cunt like this but he can’t help it.

he pulls you in by his medals dangling across your chest forcing you to look at the mess you’re making on his dick. “keep your eyes open sweetheart, i want you to see the mess you’re making.” he tells you, his voice smoother than his favourite bottle of bourbon.

you’re lost in it all, your mind reeling like a roll of film as he ruts into you like an animal in heat. he unleashes a slew of moans and groans against your ear, the vibrations driving you closer to your release.

“a-art, ‘s too much i can’t take it.” was all you managed to get out, a mangled sob escaping your lips.

in spite of your brain getting turning into mush each time art hit that sweet spot that set you alight. he looks down at you with a wicked grin, his voice taking on a faux sympathetic tone.

he pressed a kiss to your neck, maintaining his pace. “winner takes all, sweetheart.” he says with a chilling edge, that makes you clench around him as he buries himself deeper into you, stretching you out even more as he peppers kisses to your neck, leaving bites and hickeys that were sure gonna sting tomorrow.

and from the way things were going, it was safe to say that you weren’t completing that manuscript anytime soon.

not while art had you in his grasp anyway.

[that-student-that-has-homework]

the temptation to write the fic that's been floating in my mind for a while...I think as early as before the war.

"You're overwhelmed."

and it's either Al-Haitham or Jing Yuan there to gently guide you through the whole mess.

Jing Yuan would probably take a quick scan of everything, predict your to do list based off of it, then determine the best course of action for your health. In like the span of 1 or 2 minutes at most.

Jing Yuan's the guy that would sit on the floor with you, take your hands in his, and when that causes the dam to finally burst (which is a problem because you're too busy to cry right now) would in a soothing tone, walk you through the order of what needs to happen. He'll help you figure out your priorities all while rubbing soothing circles into your skin, and will take on the parts of your load that he can.

You need food? He'll take care of it. Things are a mess? He'll get things picked up enough that its not stressful anymore. You don't have any more clean clothes? He's got that covered too.

When it comes to delegation the man knows what's up. He's got a solid war plan, and with Yanqing's assistance he's managed to complete at least half of the tasks that he can take off your hands, and the rest are to be completed likely within the next hour or few hours.

Expect a warm meal and soothing tea after you get showered, because that was the first thing he had you do. See you'd been busy enough to neglect your hygiene enough to stress you out too. So when you're feeling notably refreshed after your shower, and your meal, and seeing as the domestic tasks have been taken care of while you took care of your hygiene, your stress levels, are much lower.

He absolutely will let you bend his ear over all that's stressing you out, especially if you're working on something with a deadline and you're stuck. Will be someone you can bounce ideas off of.

When things finally calm down enough that you have the time to cry, he will hold you as you sob it all out. As awful as the situation is, he's relieved that you're getting it out of your system via tears. Of course if you start apologizing for needing help, he'll hug you tighter and set you straight. He is honored to be someone that you can be vulnerable with and is genuinely delighted to be able to support you...he is your husband.

____________________

Al-Haitham, similarly, takes you and your surroundings in:

the research papers strewn around you

the multitude of half-drunk cups: tea, water, juice, herbal tea

the crumbs of food that likely wasn't enough to sustain you

the piles of papers and books with all sorts of random objects in them to mark the pages for your research

the sink

your laundry basket

your dull hair, and disheveled pyjamas/housewear

your exhausted expression

It doesn't take him more than 2 minutes as well to figure out the ideal course of action. He also decides that you starting with a shower would be for the best.

He has to debate you to get you up, choosing not to touch you in your overwhelmed state. Because you don't have time to shower, you have a deadline. You don't have time for all these things. However using logic and reason, he somehow managed to get your to comply despite your very compromised state.

Al-Haitham as well, despite not liking to take on too much work, will, for your sake, delegate all tasks that don't require your specific attention to himself and get through them efficiently. He's systematic about it: first he ensures you have food to eat, after which he ensures that your living space is relaxing and comfortable by cleaning and organizing things according to your own preferences (yes he remembers). Your laundry is also taken care of alongside his. The cups, the dishes in the sink and those distributed throughout the house as well will be collected and washed.

Depending on how long your shower is he'll have everything done or at the very least the food and initial sweep of the area. He makes sure to have food with you, so you feel less alone. He will do those dishes too.

You're not having any coffee. Any tea he gives you is herbal. Bibi* used to say chamomile was good for sleep, maybe it'll help you relax. (Bibi is what Iraqis call their grandmothers, and given he's named after an Iraqi physicist).

With Al-Haitham he can also assist with your research and your paper, so he does help with providing sources and information for your paper. In fact you can rant to him and like the scribe he is, he'll take notes, and provide advice.

Will hug you if you ask. Will be your body double to help you get through things. He might even sacrifice some sleep to be by your side for a little longer if you're working late, but not too long, he'll eventually turn in, and encourage you to turn in too.

Tumblr MasterList Here | Ao3 here

Please feel free to leave me a comment or feedback. I may actually turn this into a fic if I get the time!

[shhtickerbook]

Baby Feathers

Merry Christmas!

(Helluva Age regression ficlet that takes place post sinsmas)

I don’t see enough fics that have caregivers who want to try regressing!!! So I decided to fill that void and the soul destroying events of sinsmas gave me lots of agere fodder. have a lovely holiday everybody!!! Fic below!

Stolas had everything planned. It was new years Eve and both Stolas and Blitzø had the holiday just to themselves. Millie and Moxxie were spending the holiday with Millie’s family in Wrath, whilst Loona was going to another party at Beelzebub’s. Stolas had spent many a New Year’s Eve at insufferable galas, but there had always been one silver lining. Both himself and Via would slip away from the ball, where the two would sit on the roof of their mansion and watch the first new year’s moon come to rise. He still hadn’t realised that this would be the first year where they wouldn’t be able to share their tradition. He couldn’t stop thinking of Octavia, their last interaction cruelly playing on loop in his mind. His heart was breaking with every second, but at least he had Blitzø. If he hadn’t been grieving so painfully, maybe he’d be able to enjoy himself.

There was one aspect he found great comfort in though, and that was being able to take care of Blitzø. Over the past few months he’d been introduced to the Imp’s smaller side, which had taken a while for Blitzø to open up about it properly. He was a pretty headstrong character, and struggled s lot when it came to expressing any kind of vulnerability.

Stolas had actually found out by accident, with Blitzø regressing involuntarily after a bad night terror. Stolas’s heart had broke when he found his partner looking so afraid and vulnerable. Blitzø wasn’t able to really explain what was happening, but Stolas was already a parent, it was second nature to know how to comfort little ones after a bad dream. The next morning Blitzø had explained what happened, sometimes he found himself slipping younger in age, usually when he was stressed or was reminded of bad things. Especially since he lost his mother, she was the only person who treat him with gentle nurturing care. When he lost her, he never got to feel that again. So when he began to have these episodes, it became a part of himself he had to hide out of shame.

For a long time he continued to suppress this side of himself, pushing away all these childish longings. But he could only hold it back for so long until his body decided for him. When he did find out, Stolas was almost too supportive of it, finding this side of Blitzø absolutely darling. Lavishing him with toys, clothes and all kinds of things he never even considered trying. Stolas even found himself getting a lot out of caring for him too, it made him feel needed.

-

Blitzø had to admit that it felt great to not hide this side of him anymore. Stolas had officially seen every episode of that pony show, and helped Blitzø brush the manes of every single horse figurine he owned. But ever since the trial, neither Blitzø or Stolas had the time or the mental energy to take come time to relax.

Stolas had felt so guilty that in his current state he hadn’t been able to care for Blitzø, and had even collected a set of gifts for him to open from Sinsmas. On the day itself he’d set aside his little gifts so that he wouldn’t have to open them in front of the others. So he’d made the decision to surprise him with a “little sinsmas” on new years, when they knew they’d have the house all to themselves.

Stolas woke up early to get out the gifts he had stored away. Thankfully he had purchased these before he’d lost all of his money and possessions. But when he did get up, he felt awful. The former prince had slept terribly, tossing and turning as he once again replayed what had happened with Via. He was then cursed with unpleasant dreams that only tortured him further. All he wanted was his daughter, but she wanted nothing to do with him.

Regardless of how he felt, he pushed himself through it, today was for Blitzø. The imp had done so much for him recently, he had to pay it back somehow. He quietly looked through Blitzø’s wardrobe in search of some of his little clothes, choosing an oversized hoodie with some colourful horse motifs. It even had an adorable woollen mane that went down the hood. Last of all he collected a plastic box at the bottom of the wardrobe, stolas recognising it. Inside Blitzø kept all of his baby things, pacifiers, some teethers and other equally adorable equipment. It was adorned with multiple stickers, all in the horse variety.

As he entered back into the main room, stolas began to gather some ingredients for breakfast. The plan was to make Blitzø some oatmeal for breakfast, which was simple enough. Blitzø always liked it drizzled with cherry syrup, and if he was feeling little enough he’d even let Stolas feed him.

Stolas carefully arranged the gifts wrapped in coloured paper by the tree, flicking on the fairy lights for added effect. He loved the small touches of sinsmas, indulging in the little details that made it feel magic. Blitzø had mentioned how sinsmas wasn’t really a special thing when he was a kid, the circus would perform through the whole holiday. Which included an extra special sinsmas day show which was very popular, but it meant he never got to really enjoy the holiday.

He thought of a little blitz crouched by the tree, tearing open coloured parcels in glee. You couldn’t help but smile. As a final touch, he pulled the blinds open to let the light in. Such a simple action turned into a huge mistake. As Stolas glanced outside, his gaze was caught to the horizon. Peeking just through the clouds was the new moon, only barely visible. By tonight it would be hanging at the peak of the sky, even in daylight it was beautiful.

How could something so beautiful destroy him so painfully? Stolas remembered everything, his special tradition with his daughter. He thought of Octavia, sitting alone and watching the moon rise. The way she spat her words towards her father, looking like she genuinely despised him. Who was he kidding? It didn’t look like he hated him, she did hate him. Stolas just sank to the floor, his beak quivering as he felt tears building in his eyes. It was all too much. All he wanted was to hold his daughter in his arms again, but would that ever happen again?

she hated him.

she HATED him.

-

Blitzø turned over in bed, dozily reaching over into the empty space of his bed. He’d gotten so used to sleeping next to somebody again, so when he didn’t feel any feathers in his grasp, it pulled him out from his snoozing.

“Mmme- Stolas?”

He mumbled, eyes fluttering open. As suspected, Stolas wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Pushing himself up onto his elbow before rubbing his eyes, recently Stolas had been the one who stayed in bed. Blitzø would usually let him sleep in for as long as he needed, sometimes leaving a note if he had to leave for work.

With a yawn Blitzø pulled himself up, before hearing something from outside the room. It took him a second to realise in his sleep addled state, but he could clearly hear a sadly familiar sound of crying. Within a second he’d jumped from the bed and thrown open the door.

“Stolas? are you okay?”

In hindsight it was a pretty stupid question, especially when he found said bird on the floor of his sitting room. He was curled in on himself, sobbing bitterly. It was uncomfortably reminiscent of what he’d been like when Octavia had rejected him.

“Hey hey- what’s going on?”

Blitzø joined him on the floor, resting a hand over Stolas’s shaking back. Stolas flinched at the touch at first, but couldn’t help but fall into Blitzø’s hold. Blitzø could feel Stolas’s feathers quivering as he tried to control his sobbing. The Imp couldn’t help but notice that a lot of his little stuff was scattered across the room.

His box of pacifiers and that one hoodie he liked to wear, there were also some new gifts under the tree.

“I had planned to- I’m sorry, i just wanted to make today special for you.”

Stolas whimpered, feeling like he’d ruined everything. He thought he would feel better today, if he got to care for Blitzø. But right now owl felt as fragile as glass, but Blitzø held onto him tight and securely. It clicked as he realised what Stolas had been trying to do, his expression softening.

“Oh stolas, it’s okay.”

“It’s not! All I’ve done is mope around and you’ve had to do everything for me. Not to mention the money you’ve spent and the time I’ve taken up. I had it all planned, you deserved a break-“

It took him a little time to string together his response, tears continuing to dribble down his feathers. He felt pathetic, how was he going to care for a regressed Blitzø when he was this much of a mess? It furthered his suspicion that was just a complete failure when it came to any kind of caregiving.

“Stolas listen to me, it’s okay. It’s.. really sweet you thought of this.”

Blitzø gently tilted his beak to meet his face, the tearstained bird’s expression tugging something on his heartstrings. He looked around, spotting the half made breakfast and carefully arranged presents. All the effort he’d made, for him no less.

“I don’t deserve you.”

He chuckled, managing to pull the lanky heap of owl closer into his lap the best he could. His statement seemed to reactivate Stolas tears though, who cried intelligibly into his chest. It was the other way around, it was Stolas that didn’t deserve him.

Whilst Blitzø still wasn’t entirely sure on what had triggered this, it didn’t take an idiot to know it was related to Octavia. In the time Blitzø had known Stolas, he’d never seen him like this. The Goetian Prince was so broken, fragile. But thankfully Blitzø had some experience in that feeling already.

He let him cry it out for a few minutes, with the shoulder of his shirt becoming very wet. He ran his fingers up and down Stolas’s feathers, gently preening him as he murmured comfort. The sobs eventually died down into sad sniffling, but the grip around him still hadn’t broken. Although Stolas’s heart was breaking, Blitzø’s grip around him was at least keeping said shards in place.

As Blitzø rubbed his back, he was hit with a sudden idea. He felt a little guilty that Stolas had gone through all this trouble for him, especially as he wasn’t feeling anywhere near small. And as much as he cared for Stolas, he couldn’t fake his regression either. Anyways, he didn’t feel like he was the one need in comfort right now.

“Hey, here’s an idea. I know we’ve never talked about this before, but what if you let me take care of you today?”

Stolas stirred a little with a frown, peeling his crispy feathered face away from Blitzø’s chest.

“What do you mean?”

“You take care of me when I’m feeling low, why not let me baby you for once? You’re lookin’ like you need it.”

The more Blitzø thought about it, the more he wanted to give it a try. There was something about the forlorn bird in his arms that melted his heart a little. Was this how Stolas felt with him? Nah, he couldn’t he this cute.

“No, you’re my baby. I care for you, I care for people- it’s what I like to do.”

Stolas suddenly felt flustered, face lighting up bright red. He’d never even considered the idea of swapping roles before. Blitzø was his baby, never the other way around. He wasn’t sure if it felt right to him, he wanted to be the one caring for Blitzø.

“Yeah, and you do a great fuckin job at it. So why not let me return the favour, you might even like it?”

Blitzø teased as he gently pinched the owls red cheeks, already delighting in the idea. Stolas found himself wavering a little, especially with how shivery and weak he was. He looked over at the gifts guiltily, but Blitzø already had it covered.

“Look we could try it today, if you don’t like it, we’ll stop. We can save the gifts for tomorrow, and then you can have your turn babying me, sound okay?”

Blitzø sounded so sure that Stolas found it hard to disagree. Although it still felt very alien, he definitely appreciated this cuddling part right now. So in the end gave a defeated shrug, Blitzø’s face lighting up.

“You just relax and let me take care of everything, feathers.”

Stolas shook for a second, before burying his beak into Blitzø’s shoulder again. Fresh tears erupted seemingly for no specific reason. But this time there was a sense of catharsis that came with it, to be able to cry in safety. Was this how Blitzø felt when Stolas would comfort him whilst small? He hoped so, as it felt pretty damn good.

Blitzø began to rock him back and forth, kissing the crown of his feathers. He gave him a few more minutes to cry, Stolas had been forcing himself into long periods of numbness recently and clearly needed it. Eventually Blitzø shifted Stolas to the side a little, who whined at the movement.

“Lemme just move ya onto the couch, I can’t feel my fuckin’ legs anymore.”

With quite a bit of effort, Blitzø managed to lift the bird onto the couch. Unfolding the blanket over the armrest and tucking it around his skinny frame. Whilst no longer sobbing, Stolas had been reduced to the awkward hiccupy stage. Blitzø told ahold of his hand, squeezing softly to get his attention.

“Hey try and breathe a little, in and out.”

The imp demonstrated, and Stolas tried his hardest to follow. But he found himself falling back into the unhelpful gulping, even with Blitzø’s help.

“Here’s an idea.”

Blitzø turned and rifled through his little box, finding an unopened package. Blitzø himself still hadn’t used these ones as he didn’t like the colours. Stolas turned to see what Blitzø was doing, with his pupils pin-pricking when he spotted it. In his hands was a package of pacifiers, a pack of three different shades of lilac to dark blue.

“You’re doing a shitty job at breathing right now, try one of these. You’ll have no choice but to breathe a little slower.”

He spoke so casually, holding out a dark blue pacifier. Stolas had seen this kind of item many, many times now. But now when it was being presented to him, rather from him? It felt a little scary. Blitzø watched as stolas internally fought with himself, rolling his eyes.

“Cmon, open that beak for me, feathers.”

He used the pet name for the second time, which made Stolas melt a little. As if beyond his control he held his beak open, Blitzø placing the pacifier there before he could change his mind.

The sensation was certainly strange at first, the bird wasn’t really sure what to do with it. But his body was still hellbent on breathing hard, so he focused on trying to breathe nasally instead. Without realising he began to suck on the bulb, and breathed in and out. If it hadn’t been such sad circumstances, Blitzø would’ve definitely taken a photo. It was just too fucking cute. Instead he joined Stolas on the couch, still demonstrating his breathing in time to Stolas’s.

“Feels good doesn’t it?”

Stolas looked up at him lazily, his was face a little red self consciously. But he couldn’t lie, the rhythmic sensation of the pacifier was incredibly soothing. With each minute he understood just why Blitzø liked them so much. There was a cloudy fuzzy sensation in his head, one that forced him away from all the sad and scary feelings. It was a blissful escape, but it wasn’t numbing him the way his pills used to.

So he nodded at his partner, squeezing his hand back tight. They spent the next twenty minutes just cuddling, and Stolas honestly felt the calmest he had in months. Blitzø eventually had to pry the owl off of him to sort out breakfast, turned on the TV for Stolas. He considered what to put on, before setting on an incredibly corny fairytale movie about a princess. But it was worth it to see the way Stolas’s eyes lit up when it came on.

Blitzø made himself a cup of coffee, and poured one of Stolas’s weird fancy teas into one of his own sippy cups. Choosing the moonlight unicorn design, after forcing stolas to watch every episode of his horse show, Stolas had eventually chosen his favourite character. When he returned to the couch, Stolas shuffled over to curl into his chest again. The pacifier still hasn’t left his beak since placing it there, he looked undeniably adorable. Blitzø was just so happy to see him looking content for the first time in days. The two could just spend their day with each-other’s company, enjoying every moment.

-

Neither demon even made it to the end of the movie, the two of them passed out in a tangle of limbs. The bird with his head curled underneath Blitzø’s chin, the imp’s hand subconsciously still stroking his feathers. Blitzø had gotten so used to himself being the baby in their relationship, that he’d never considered how much he’d enjoy swapping places. The remainder of their day continued in a similar fashion, Blitzø leading Stolas along in hand. And to his surprise Stolas was a very quiet little, who didn’t speak much for the rest of the day.

It was different than when he was quiet when he was sad though, Stolas would still giggle if Blitzø said something funny and was clearly enjoying himself. Stolas just felt happy that he didn’t have to try and think of words right now, he could just be. He allowed Blitzø to dress him in some loose cuddly clothes, and even hand feed him little squares of pancake when he felt up to eating.

Blitzø loved learning more about this little side of him. And Stolas found himself embracing a part of himself he’d never even uncovered. They spent the day indoors, playing games and watching movies. In the evening when Blitzø was busy running a bath for him, Stolas couldn’t help but glance outside. The moon was beginning to rise in the early evening, himself and Blitzø agreed to head to bed before midnight. The whole new year’s celebration never interested him too much, he really only ever used it as an excuse to get wasted.

Stolas pulled the pacifier from his beak and dropped it to the floor. Feeling the fog of his small space drift away, he took in a deep breath. Slipping outside onto the balcony, he dared himself to look up at the moon. Giving anything just for one more moment with Octavia, wondering what she was doing right now.

“I know you hate me, and that you can’t even hear me- But I love you so very much.”

He spoke to himself quietly, not breaking eye contact with the rising moon. Hoping that just maybe Octavia could somehow get the message. He stayed there for a little while, not even realising the slow tears dripping down his face until he felt a hand on his. Blitzø didn’t say anything, he stood aside the Owl for a while until he stirred from his trance.

“I got your bath ready, even added a bunch of those bath nukes you like.”

“Bath bombs- you mean.”

Stolas couldn’t help but correct, although he still sounded sad. Blitzø held onto his hand and lead him back inside, finding the pacifier abandoned on the floor.

“Hey you still want this buddy?”

He held it up, unsure if Stolas was feeling completely big again. The owl looked at the object, clearly considering it. He watched the Imp as he stared up at him with genuine adoration. Instead of a verbal response, he just took the pacifier back and allowed himself to sink back into that comforting headspace. The Goetian prince stood tall above Blitzø, and to any old person they must’ve looked ridiculous. But Blitzø looked up at the tall owl and only saw a little baby bird, one that was in desperate need of some love and care.

“Cmon then baby feathers, I have a whole collection of rubber duck horses just waiting to play with ya-“

Merry Christmas y’all ❤️❤️❤️

[bonelessghoul]

Request by @princesspuffle8 :

My request is for reader x Tom riddle where reader breaks up with Tom because they feel like their relationship is going nowhere. And for Christmas he secretly gets her something to win her back (or you can go the angst route where he’s looking at the present he got her but won’t give her since they’re no longer together)

2.8k words

Hope you like it! Added a bit of a darker twist at the end for funsies but it was my first time writing a Hufflepuff reader so I hope I did it some justice :) Happy holidays! 🎄

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You paced the common room of Hufflepuff’s dormitory, your drawn out footsteps imprinted into the massive brown carpet with its yellow vines. The sun had passed through the windows at the tops of the arches around the common room til there was nothing left but the firelight.

Quietly, you pondered a decision that weighed heavily on your mind and it made you feel so sick to your stomach that you couldn’t eat. It had been only two months since seventh year began and you were losing your focus! Tom Riddle, the man you were dating since sixth year now, had been unnervingly distant and cold to the point you couldn’t stand it anymore. Your relationship already crossed an unspoken line and had the odds against it; had it finally run its course? Had Toms friends made him change his mind?

As you paced, you swiped tears away here and there, nervous to let them show as your worried friends passed by. Finally though, you sucked up the courage to finally leave and do what must be done. If you had any sense of self respect for your future, you’d rip the band aid off.

Worriedly, your house mates followed your path with their eyes and whispered of what you could possibly be up to. You were a light even in a house already as bright as it was, fierce against any adversity and humble about it too. When you were sharing many classes with Tom Riddle at the start of your sixth year, he saw that light too in the midst of everything that changed in his life.

You were reluctant to take his offer on a date in Hogsmeade to look for ingredients for your potions assignments, but it ended with you two walking back to school hand in hand and the rest was history.

Now, that memory felt so far away as you marched over to the library where you were supposed to meet him this evening. Your stomach clenched every few seconds at the thought of what you were about to do. But when you hesitated in your decision, you thought of how many times you tried to ask him if he was okay and he brushed you off, you thought of the way he didn’t even defend you from the way his friends teased you, and now you two barely saw each other outside of classes.

At first, you told yourself it was stress. Tom was always under immense pressure, constantly trying to prove himself. You supported him quietly, patiently, as you always had. You reminded him to eat, to take breaks, to step outside for fresh air. But each time, he would wave you off with a polite but dismissive smile, his attention fixed on his plans for a future you couldn’t see.

Something was bothering him—but you couldn’t afford to wait around and find out anymore.

When you first saw him sitting at a table between bookshelves, hidden under the shadows cast by the massive fireplace at the front of the room you almost forgot what you were doing. He was so handsome, face always buried in a book, and you were blissfully ignorant of the way he had been acting. Just for a moment he didn’t look so cruelly

“Tom.” You said, voice neutral and neither welcoming nor pleased.

It took him just a second too long to look up at you and even when he did, he hardly looked intrigued. This struck a chord in your heart and suddenly, you weren’t afraid to say what you had to say. Looking around, you sat at the edge of the bench.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

The words came out with the rest of the air in your lungs and you weren’t sure how to feel, but your heart raced as you studied his every move. His brows pinched with confusion but he was as still as a statue.

“What do you mean?” Tom asked, calmly.

Somehow, it was difficult to speak now.

“Us.” You choked out, trying to subdue the bubbling emotion that crawled up her throat. “I think it’s fair to say I’ve been patient—far more patient than you deserve. But no matter what I say or do, I don’t exist to you anymore. I’m an afterthought and it’s driving me insane.”

Your eyes glossed over with tears and your eyes fell to the bench space between you two, having to fight the waver in your voice.

Tom tilted his head, turning his body to face her. He looked inquisitively into a space you couldn’t see.

“That’s not true.” Tom said, his voice softer but condescending still.

“Is it not?” you scoffed, heart wrenching as you watched him deflect the pain you so clearly felt. “Even if I put my emotions aside, you simply stopped caring about me. But maybe it’s okay. We’re both in our seventh years fighting to make our futures. Maybe it was never meant to work out.”

Deep down, you wished he would tell you otherwise but he frowned slightly. “Our futures are important—more important than you could understand. Everything I’m doing now is bigger than you, or us. How could you let your emotions get in the way of seeing that?”

You raised your brows, beyond a point of where everything hurt that it made you physically ill. What else could you say that when he stared at you so determined?

“And you’re letting your ambition get in the way of seeing me or any other good thing in your life.” You said coldly.

For a moment neither of you spoke and you wondered if you should walk away now. Your words hung in the air, disturbing the peaceful atmosphere of the library. He couldn’t face you and you were half expecting him to just turn back to his book without a word, but finally, he heaved out a sigh and looked back up at you.

“You really want to end this?” Tom asked, leaving you unable to read his voice by any means.

Your heart ached beyond belief and you thought you’d faint; of course you didn’t want to end it. But his detachment solidified everything for you on that moment.

“No, but I’m not fighting for us if you clearly aren’t. So I guess this is goodbye.”

You abruptly rose from the seat and turned away before your tears could fall, trying to keep your head low as you stormed out of the library.

Tom opened his mouth to speak, but he fell short of anything right to say. He hated to see you walk away from him but love was proving to be a weakness it seems and that, he wouldn’t dare challenge no matter what.

~

Hogwarts in winter always had an ethereal beauty. Snow blanketed the grounds in pristine white, and the air inside the castle was alive with the anticipation of the holidays. The choir seemed to always be singing Christmas tunes wherever they walked. Surrounding the massive Christmas tree in the Hufflepuff common room, a record player played muggle holiday songs and students sat around, whispering excitedly about their plans.

But you could barely hear them over the storm brewing in your heart.

Tom Riddle had always been a mystery to everyone. For well over a year, you’d seen a different side of him—softer, vulnerable in fleeting moments, the boy who would steal glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking or stay with you in the library long after curfew just because you asked him to. To live this past month without those things felt overwhelmingly lonely and the routine you thought you knew was gone.

But that had been slipping away for months.

The days that followed your breakup were strange. Your friends in Hufflepuff were shocked, almost in disbelief when they found out you’d broken things off with Tom Riddle. The two of you had seemed so unshakable, so perfectly matched. But no one knew the toll it had taken on you to hold on for so long.

By the time the last exams of the term rolled around, you felt a mix of relief and sadness. Relief that you had finally taken a stand for yourself, but sadness at the loss of what you’d shared with Tom. You would be lying if you said you weren’t waiting for him to change his mind or prove himself still.

To break up the days counting down, you and the other upper years all took off to Hogsmeade for one last visit before going home for the holiday. It was enough to momentarily pull you from the dark place you had been in once you were in the village layered in snow and twinkling lights strung across every window.

The smell of molasses and butter beer lifted your spirits once you entered the Three Broomsticks. At your heels were your closest friends from your house, wearing long coats and scarves of shades of yellow or brown. Music blared from inside the inn, but it was so crowded that you took your butter beer outside for a moment of peace.

You found a short stone wall that wrapped around the back end of the inn and took a deep breath as you sat down with your warm drink. The main path that stretched through Hogsmeade sat before you and with the echo of the inn behind your ears, you blissfully sat and watched as other students passed by.

Snow blew from the roofs of the shops with every gust and students ran through it thinking it was snowing. It was a pretty sight and you eyed up Honeydukes, knowing it would be your next stop.

But that’s when the subtle reminder that Tom wasn’t with you anymore came back swinging in full force. Truthfully, you’d drag him in there at times but knew deep down he wanted to go there anyway.

Sighing, you tried to keep the looming sadness at bay and decided to heave yourself up to head back inside before your mind could wander any more. But as your footsteps crunched the snow and you made way back to the door, you sensed someone approaching from behind.

“Y/N”

The voice cut across as sharp as the bitter cold air and you almost didn’t turn around, but your instinct got the best of you as a mix of joy and disdain swirled your mind.

When you turned around, Tom Riddle stood before you, clad in his black coat and scarf that nearly matched the color of his hair but in the right light you could see the lighter pieces within it. His eyes were hopeful, bright and green as he got your attention but he was never so forward and one passing by wouldn’t sense that he was hoping you’d turn around.

“What—what are you doing here?” You asked, trying to remain polite even as your stomach.

His hands were clasped behind his back and he cautiously stepped forward—you let him.

“Well, it’s Hogsmeade. Almost everyone is here.” Tom mused, eyes glancing around as if it were obvious.

Your shoulders slumped, head tilting at him as a serious look came upon your face.

“What are you doing in front of me?” you said firmly.

A small grin cracked at the corner of his lip and he looked down for a moment as you waited to hear him speak again. It was like music to your ears but also clawing at you from the inside, making you realize just how much you missed him despite making the right call.

“I’m here to apologize.”

Your brows shot up and the grip around your pint of butter beer tightened.

“A month late?” you retorted, your voice more bitter than you intended as it came from your sweet expression of innocence.

It was obvious how hurt you still were and Tom, though could not register this, knew it anyway. But he never apologized lightly, let alone at all, so you felt it deep down that his unchanging face was in fact serious.

His hands came untangled from his back and he fiddled with something in them, and your eyes narrowed down at them.

“I’ve been building something—the beginning of it, it at least.” Tom said as he toyed with the small velvet box. “And it’s taken me away from you. I haven’t been honest about it, that much I will admit. But I know that one day I will be able to explain it and that you will understand.”

You were fuddled by his words, glancing down at your butter beer and nervously taking a sip of it despite the way your stomach could barely handle it now as the doubt grasped you at your core.

“I have always loved you and never showed you a reason for you to question my understanding, Tom.” You subtly argued, not wanting to push the balances any further knowing he was standing close to the edges.

He kept tossing the box around his fingers as if he were nervous to display it, stepping closer now as if it would make him any less inclined to keep it hidden.

“I was going to give you this at Christmas, but I know now I should have given you this and much more than that sooner.”

Then, you watched as he opened the box and opened it to reveal a necklace, a silver chain with a small pendant no larger than her thumbnail at the base holding a black stone. It was peculiar, emanating a feeling of something much deeper than her blood could feel.

“Tom…” the words came out barely above a whisper.

It was a beautiful necklace for someone like you who hardly wore jewelry or knew of any value a piece could hold. You lifted your fingers to it, the tips of your fingers warm in its presence and when it was in your hand you thought it would go numb with its charm.

“I had it made for you,” he said quietly. “To remind you of your strength. Your loyalty. Everything I admired about you from the start.”

You stared at the necklace, your chest tightening. It was beautiful, and so thoughtful it nearly broke you, because how could you turn him away?

“You admired it, but took advantage of my kindness.” you began, but he cut you off.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically vulnerable. “But I want you to know that I see you. And I will prove to you that I’m worthy of your loyalty. If you’ll let me.”

For the first time in weeks, hope flickered in your chest. You didn’t know if things could truly change between you, but as Tom looked at you with something almost like sincerity, you decided you were willing to try.

“One chance,” you said softly, clasping the necklace in your hand. “I don’t want to leave for the winter holiday like that—not knowing if you’re safe or not..”

It made him uncomfortable when you mentioned the living circumstances he had to endure, but it wasn’t a secret between you two. You cautiously stepped forward, holding out the necklace for him to put it on.

“It is one chance I will not fail you with.” Tom said, a soft grin upon his face as his hands came around your neck and you lifted your hair.

The mere graze of his fingertips brought chills to your spine and in the middle of Hogsmeade, tucked behind the Three Broomsticks, you turned around with the necklace peaking out over your sweater and wrapped your arms around him. Tom was hesitant to wrap his arms around you, unexpectedly being welcomed back so fast. But your heart was a bleeding one at that, and you were relieved to relinquish the pain you had held onto as of late.

“Don’t think a necklace has you out of the dog house just yet, Riddle.” you said, voice muffled against his shoulder.

Tom finally held back onto you, letting out a breath he had been holding in for the weeks since you left.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

You couldn’t comprehend just exactly what had happened to Tom Riddle in the past year but now, as you wore a piece of his soul around your neck, Tom knew there would be no losing you again so long as he could help it.

Tom was only just getting started and for a moment, he held you in his arms for the one time it would feel like it didn’t matter just yet.

[mymoodwriting]

Request for Anon (yandere TBZ '98z) 2.2k, sirens, yandere, alcohol consumption, beach party atmosphere, campfire gatherings, attempted kidnapping, kidnapping, manipulation, hypnosis, siren song, minor hydrophobia, bleeding from the ears, possible hypothermia, supernatural creatures (@starillusion13)

“I need some air.”

  You stepped away from the dance floor, giggling and waving at your friends, careful not to spill the drink you had in hand. You were spending the weekend at your friend’s beach house, and the vibes they were going for were a three day party. When you arrived you helped set up and by the time dusk had come around the party had already started. There was music and drinks, and lots of people mingling. You were used to this type of life with your friends, so you were certainly enjoying yourself. After a few drinks and hours on the dance floor you knew you needed a break, so you stepped away, going up to the second floor balcony.

The sound of the waves was louder than the muffled music, creating a peaceful atmosphere. The fresh air was also welcomed, needing to clear out your airways. You swirled the drink in your hand, wondering if you should call it here. You did drink, but you weren’t looking to get really drunk tonight. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. It was good to get away from home and work and just have fun, this break was highly overdue. As you were listening to the waves a new melody caught your attention. Your gaze shifted down to the beach below, seeing a small campfire and four individuals around it.

The beach here wasn’t private property or anything, but you were curious as to who they were. The nearest residence was a good couple miles away. The party was up here in the house, but those people were having their own get-together down there. You went back inside, intending to go down to the beach, but you ran into some friends along the way. They were curious as to where you were going and you told them you wanted to go down to the beach to see what was going on. They liked the idea as well, so you all went together. The air would do them good too. As the house music died down you could better hear the guitar and the beautiful voices singing.

You didn’t recognize the melody but it was nice nonetheless. Although the music stopped when your little group was noticed. Four boys sat around their campfire, looking over at you and the others. They were friendly from the start, asking if you wanted to join their circle. The boys spread out, letting you and your friends sit. They introduced themselves, and let you all do the same. Soon enough the guitar was strumming again and a simple conversation was started. For now everyone seemed content getting to know one another. Although from there a few conversations branched out and mini groups were formed.

“So, how long have you played guitar?”

“For as long as I can remember.” Juyeon answered. “Music is a passion of mine.”

“I can tell. You’re very talented.”

“Thanks. So what do you do?”

“Nothing special, just office work.”

“A cubicle?”

“Yeah. I don’t mind it at all. The work is easy and the pay is good. Way less stressful than my old retail job.”

“You worked retail?”

“My greatest trial.” You chuckled. “It had its good and bad days, but I’m glad to have the experience. I know what the employees go through and have great respect for them.”

“You see the bright side in a lot of things, don’t you?”

“I try. I want to make the most of my life and enjoy myself. What about you though, what do you do with your time?”

“I focus on my music.”

“Ah, a real musician. Where can I find your music?”

“Right here.”

Juyeon changed the tune he was playing and began to sing, his friends joining in as well. You listened with a smile on your face, seeing how quickly everyone got into the song. You couldn’t help but wonder who they were. Most of the people at the party you knew, one way or another, but these guys seemed like total strangers. With that in mind you should probably be worried, but they didn’t seem like bad people. You were captivated by the music until it was interrupted by cheering and yelling. Apparently the bond fire out on the beach had been noticed and a good amount of people were moving the party outside.

Soon enough the soothing sound of the waves and guitar playing was drowned out by the stereo and the conversations all around. You didn’t mind much, especially considering this party wasn’t supposed to end any time soon. Your friends got up, dragging some of the other boys along to dance. You got up as well, although Juyeon grabbed your arm and pulled you back down. For a moment he seemed annoyed, but quickly changed his expression. Perhaps he had come out here to get away from all the loud partying, and your arrival unintentionally brought it to him. You wanted to apologize but weren’t sure how to go about it.

“Let’s go talk somewhere in private.”

“You’re not much of a party person?”

“Too much noise.”

“I bet the house is quieter now, we can go up there.”

“I know somewhere better.”

“Alright, lead the way.

You got up with Juyeon, and he kept a hold of your arm as he led you through the crowds, moving away from the house. Although along the way you were yanked from his grasp, surrounded by familiar faces and dancing bodies. It seemed that the party didn’t want you leaving again. You tried looking around for Juyeon, but he found you first, grabbing your arm once more and pulling you close. This time the annoyance was clear on his face and his grip was firm. You were starting to get this uneasy feeling about him, deciding it was best to part ways.  Yet you couldn’t get yourself free.

“Juyeon… let go…”

“…”

 “Let go! I’m serious, this isn’t funny!”

Without another word Juyeon started dragging you away from the crowd as you continued to struggle. No one seemed to notice your distress, and screaming probably wouldn’t get you anywhere. The only other option was to fight. So without hesitation you punched Juyeon in the stomach, causing him to double over and let you go. You quickly ran off, looking for your friends in the crowd. You spotted someone, waving your arm and shouting to get their attention when this ear-piercing screech filled the air. You fell to your knees covering your ears, trying to drown out the sound. You weren’t the only one affected as you saw others around you doing the same thing as you.

It was hard to tell how long the disruption lasted, but when it stopped things seemed different. Your vision was a bit blurry, and there was a muted ringing in your ears. As you pulled your hands away you felt something warm and thick, looking at your fingers to see blood. You were trying to process when your arm was grabbed and you were pulled up to your feet. For a moment you could make out Kevin’s face before he was dragging you behind him. You stumbled over others on the ground, trying to regain your own sense while attempting to free yourself. Although just like before, Kevin’s grip also seemed impossible to break.

Next thing you knew you felt wet sand beneath your feet, starting to realize Kevin was pulling you towards the water. You screamed and let yourself fall to the floor, hoping your body weight could stop him in his tracks. It did jerk him back, but he was only annoyed for a bit. Someone from behind pulled you up to your feet, pushing you forward into the water. You continued to yell, trying to free yourself and not let the fear of the approaching water scare you. When you glanced back you could see Changmin pushing you along, a smile on his face. You didn’t understand what they were doing, but you were terrified.

“Stop! Stop it! Please!”

“Relax, you’ll be fine.” Changmin assured. 

“Let go! Ple-”

You were so distracted by Changmin that you were completely clueless about the oncoming wave until it hit you. For a moment your whole world was underwater, and then a calming atmosphere seemed to wash over you, pulling you under into the darkness.

🖤

You gasped awake, taking in deep breaths as you looked around. You were lying on sand, the waves receding just a few feet from you. It wasn’t that cold, but you were still wet, which made you shiver. You looked around, but you seemed to be completely alone, the only light coming from the moon. After a moment you managed to get on your feet, properly taking in your surroundings. This place was completely unfamiliar. Besides the water and sand, there was nothing but endless trees. You thought back to what happened before you woke up here, but your memories seemed impossible.

Those boys from the beach had dragged you into the water, and before that there had been that loud noise. As the helplessness of your situation was starting to settle in you noticed what seemed to be smoke rising into the air. Someone had started a fire. Without much thought you headed into the trees, following the smoke trail, hoping to find someone, anyone else. Once you were further in you saw the inklings of fire light, feeling hopeful. That is until you broke through the plants to find a small little campsite. Four familiar faces gathered around a fire, merely watching the flames until their gazes turned to you. A golden glow from their eyes froze you in place.

“I’m glad you found your way to us.” Chanhee giggled. “Sit.”

“… what… what’s going on… what happened…”

“Nothing you need to worry about. Sit down, I’m sure you need to warm up.”

“No… no…” You took a step back. “… you guys…”

“You’re on our island.” Kevin stated. “There’s nowhere else for you to go. So sit down, before you run off and get lost.”

“… what are you…”

“We’re not gonna hurt you if that’s what you’re scared of.”

“… then… why’d you bring me here… how did you-”

“You wanted to come here.” Juyeon remarked. “So we brought you.”

“I never said that…”

“Actions speak louder than words. Of course it was a bit difficult at first when you came to the beach with friends, but we found you eventually.”

“What are you talking about…”

“We sang a song, it was an invitation.” Changmin explained. “For a pretty little human to run away into our arms, and you came to us.”

“No, no I didn’t, I…”

“Sh, it’s okay. One’s innermost desires are always hard to understand, but we heard you loud and clear.”

“Liars… take me back! Now!”

“And why would we do that?” Juyeon questioned. “When you don’t actually want to, do you?”

“I…”

There was something in his voice that didn’t sound right. It created this sensation, a sense of calm and peace you had felt before when you heard them sing. Then it all clicked into place. Sirens. That realization snapped you out of it, so you turned and ran, not daring to look back. Although as badly as you wanted to escape, eventually you escaped from the trees, coming upon an endless expanse of water. They said you were on an island, and you had no way of knowing that was true. Your best bet now was to pick a direction, but then you heard rustling behind you.

“You’ll get lost if you go off on your own.” Kevin said. “If you don’t freeze to death first.”

“Stay back!”

“We already said we’re not gonna hurt you.” Chanhee added. “Don’t you believe us?”

“Just… just send me back… you… you don’t need me…”

“But we do.” Juyeon corrected. “You think we’d go anywhere near humans without a purpose? No, no, no, darling, we were hunting for you.”

“What… what do you want with me…?”

“For now we just need to keep you close until we can make the proper arrangements.”

“Arrangements…?”

“The island is just temporary, silly.” Changmin teased. “I’m sure by now you’ve figured out what we are. Your human body isn’t suitable for us, but we’ll rectify that soon enough.”

“… please…”

“Just relax and come here, we need to warm you up, and I have other ideas besides a fire.”

You stumbled back a few steps, grabbing your head. You could feel that calm sense starting to wash over you, but you were fighting back. As you continued to move you eventually felt your feet dipping into water. They had you cornered, and there was really nowhere to run.

“… please… don’t…”

“You’ll be just fine with us, better even.” Chanhee held his hand out to you. “We made an excellent choice with you.”

“You’re perfect, darling.” Kevin added. “Come now.”

“I…”

Your head was spinning, the world getting a bit blurry as your own identity was being drowned into the back of your own mind. They were getting closer and closer, and your own fears were disappearing. Without truly meaning to you were reaching out to Chanhee’s hand, the inklings of a smile forming on your face. The golden eyes, the soft voices, it wasn’t so scary anymore. If anything it seemed rather welcoming. When you took Chanhee’s hand you felt lighter, as if all your worries had been washed away.

“Good girl, you’ll see, you’re perfect for us. At least you will be, eventually.”

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

Calico - Act Three

Choi Y/N is pretty, smart, and funny and she knows it - mostly because she hears it all the time from all the men (read: victims) she dates. She’s about to get a taste of her own medicine. 

You can find the masterlist here. 

Calico has a sequel called LMLY, if you’re interested.

Genre: (a little) fluff, (quite a bit of) angst, smut, college au, heavily inspired by John Tucker Must Die

Pairing: Joshua x female reader (with mentions of Mingyu x female reader, Woozi x female reader, Seokmin x female reader, Jeonghan x female reader)

TW/CW: MDNI!!, contains smut with no protection mentioned (be safe please!!), mentions of alcohol, food, a whole lot of cyber bullying.

Word count: 8.6k

This is a repost of a previous fic I did. It was one of the first fics that I ever posted on here and I wish I had made some different choices aesthetically. The content will be the same, it will just be a little prettier and more readable.

The drive is quiet, mostly because no one knows what to say. It’s never been this quiet for the three of them, not in 22 years. Not even when it was supposed to be. 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan aren’t talking. Two weeks ago, Seungcheol found Jeonghan on campus and just started swinging. Jeonghan ended up with a bloody nose before some of Seungcheol’s teammates nearby could drag Seungcheol off of him. Not as bad as it could have been, but it was a first. They’d never been in a fist fight before, not even as kids on the playground. They ended up in front of the Dean for it too. Thankfully, the Dean let it slide with a warning. 

Seungcheol is also not talking to Y/N, specifically because he hadn’t known she slept with Mingyu the night of their birthday party months ago. He’d thought he had a pretty close relationship with his twin sister, but he feels betrayed that he found some thing like that out on twitter of all places. 

Jeonghan and Y/N are talking, but barely. The tension is overwhelming. No matter how much they emphasize that they haven’t been sleeping together, no one seems to believe them. Without really discussing it, they decide some distance would be good. He’s insistent that he’s still her best friend for life and she’ll never be rid of him, though it doesn’t feel like it from the back seat of her and Seungcheol’s shared car. 

Y/N kind of feels like a ghost. She has for two weeks now. She barely took in anything to do with dead week or finals week. The normal stress of that time of the year doesn’t really register because she feels too numb. It’s kind of a blessing because if she can’t take much in, she doesn’t notice all the laughter and whispers that follow her around campus, at cheer practice, and in the sorority house. 

Just about the only person that gives her any sympathy is Wonwoo when she goes to return the loaner laptop before leaving for the break. He delicately asks how she’s doing and he seems like he really wants to know. His kindness doesn’t feel like something she deserves. She leaves before she cries in front of him again. 

Tonight is the dinner at her father’s house. Jeonghan is always invited and is still coming despite whatever is going on with the three of them. When they got in the car, the only thing they really said to each other is that they didn’t want to involve their parents in this mess. So they had to pretend like everything was fine, if only for one dinner. 

The mansion is cold when the three of them arrive. Their bags are still in the car because they aren’t staying here. Y/N is relieved by that small blessing. She can’t wait to be in her old bedroom in her mom’s small cozy apartment in a matter of hours. 

Nari greets them with a smile that is totally fake. She’s wearing a little black dress and heels under her apron. Y/N guesses she’s taken on the role of housewife since leaving her position as secretary at the company. It sounded like it didn’t look good for her to be married to the boss, preferential treatment and all. 

Nari sends them to the sitting room. It’s cold in there too and not a blanket in sight over the back of the couch or in a bin in the corner. Jeonghan silently takes off his wooly cardigan and hands it to her, ignoring Seungcheol’s glare. He’s been doing that anytime he sees the two of them interact. 

Nari comes out with a tray of drinks, handing them around. Y/N takes a single sip of the drink and puts it down. There’s no grenadine in hers while the boys’ drinks are a light pink because of it. She knows it’s a calculated jab to not give her something everyone else gets but Y/N refuses to give Nari the satisfaction of a reaction. 

“Where’s Appa tonight?” Seungcheol asks politely. Everything is formal with Nari, just as it’s always been with their father too. 

Nari smiles and it’s so sickly sweet that Y/N has to look away. “He called and said he was running late at the office. Should be here anytime. Excuse me, I need to go check the roast. The chef is on vacation.” She says it snidely, like the chef doesn’t deserve a vacation, but the three of them say nothing. Once she’s out of the room, Jeonghan switches drinks with Y/N, taking the non-grenadine one. He, again, pointedly ignores Seungcheol’s glare.

Y/N is still cold at dinner where she picks at her food. Her father has barely glanced at her the whole time. He’s worried about how Seungcheol’s team is going to do this year and how Jeonghan’s applications to the internship at his company’s office near the university have gone. He promises to put in a good word for Jeonghan. 

Reluctantly, her father looks down his nose at Y/N. “And how was your semester?”

“It went well,” Y/N said, feeling a little bit like she was in a job interview. “I got straight As. The sorority and cheer team are doing well too.” She could talk about the fundraisers and volunteer events the sorority did, or how she learned a new stunt for a routine, but she knows by now he doesn’t really care. He’d always looked at her with such disinterest, even as a child.

Her father pretends to look pleased. “Good to hear. We need a Dr. Choi in the family. Can’t let those grades slip.” Y/N just nods in agreement. “By the way, did you get the replacement laptop I sent?” 

“I did. Thank you for sending it so quickly. I apologize that I didn’t send you a message when I got it, but I had a lot to catch up on, what with a broken laptop.” The words burn in her throat. She doesn’t want to thank him. She doesn’t want anything from him. She wants her mom. 

“Of course, but you should really be more careful, Y/N. Don’t be so reckless with your belongings,” he scolds. Y/N doesn’t miss how pleased Nari is with the lecture. Y/N remembers when Nari sent her to boarding school for part of semester in high school. Seungcheol hadn’t been sent away since he was supposed to be a starter on the basketball team. Their mother had to drive to the boarding school and pull her out after Y/N cried on the phone one too many times. Nari didn’t look happy when she showed up on the doorstep with her suitcase again.

“Yes sir,” Y/N answers meekly, if only to avoid anymore conversation. Seungcheol and Jeonghan both clench their jaws across the table. 

After an agonizing couple hours, Seungcheol makes the excuse that they should get going. They still have to drop Jeonghan off and get home to their mother’s apartment across town. 

In the car, neither boys say anything as Y/N cries in the backseat. This dinner was the straw that broke the camel's back. Jeonghan ignores Seungcheol’s looks in the rearview mirror because he refused to sit in the front seat, sliding into the back with her to hold her hand. 

The break flies by only because Y/N wishes it wouldn’t. She’d like to stay in her warm bed in her mom’s warm apartment for the rest of her life. She surprises herself by even considering not going back, but she knows she’d never hear the end of it. After all, she has one semester left. Then she can pick anywhere for medical school, given that she gets accepted. 

Her mother is clearly worried, and Y/N feels so guilty for it. Her mother has been a nurse for over 20 years. She works hard and she works long, weird hours. She always has in order to make it work for the twins. So Y/N tries to slap a smile on her face when she’s out of her room if only to keep her from worrying, particularly when she’s just come home from an overnight shift. 

But it seems it doesn’t matter because her mother still knocks on her door the night before they’re scheduled to drive back to school. Y/N is packing after doing some laundry and she slaps that fake smile on her face when her mother sits cross legged on her bed. “Are you sure you have to go? You could just move back in for good. Just don’t tell your brother,” her mother teases. 

This does bring a little bit of a genuine smile to Y/N’s face. “I would love to, but I’m so close to being done.” 

“I know, baby, and I’m so proud of you.” Her mother stopped and stared for a second. Finally, she sighs. “You know, I had a really bad semester at nursing school. Even had to switch schools because of it.”

Y/N isn’t sure how she knows that the semester was bad because she hadn’t said anything. But there’s no point in denying it. She’s been moping for weeks now. “Really? What happened?”

“Some mean girls,” her mother shrugs. “They’re everywhere, but they were more tolerable at the second school.”

Y/N continues folding clothes if only to keep busy. “What if I’m the mean girl?” 

“What do you mean, baby?” 

It had been weighing on Y/N’s mind. Something about the post a couple weeks before finals had made things painfully obvious to her. She hadn’t realized how it looked to others while she was chasing and looking for the right guy. She didn’t realize how many feelings she’d hurt on that chase. She eventually deleted her twitter account and locked down all of her other socials to avoid finding out how anyone else really felt about her. 

“I think I’ve hurt some feelings with my dating habits. I didn’t mean anything by it… but I did.” 

Her mother is quiet for a moment, before waving her over. There’s something so comforting about curling up into her mother’s side. “I’ll tell you what I think, okay?” Y/N nods into her shoulder. “You have so much love to give. You always have, you and Seungcheol both. And you really want to be with someone to share that. But maybe it’s okay if you keep it to yourself sometimes.” Her mother’s head plops down on top of Y/N’s. “You know, I was always afraid the divorce would affect you two. It’s why I stayed until I just couldn’t anymore. But now I see how you might be chasing after the validation you didn’t see in mine and your father’s relationship. And you don’t need it, okay? Take care of yourself first.”

Y/N is tearful and this is all too serious, so she has to crack a joke. “I think you’re spending too much time covering shifts in the psych ward. You sound like a shrink.”

Y/N’s mother laughs loudly. “Oh, I know. They’re keeping me on that rotation because I’m so good. Come on. Let’s finish packing this and then we’ll make some cookies for you to take with you tomorrow.”

Mingyu is pissed. He has been for days. Specifically, because a couple days before he was due to come back from break, the twitter account mysteriously disappears. So does any trace of it. No one has screenshots and the document they’d drafted of the exposé is gone too. All that’s left is anything they compiled for the final project. 

Seungkwan says he didn’t do anything with the twitter account and Mingyu believes him because his texts sound panicked. As Seungkwan is lamenting over the years he’s spent building up that account, Mingyu develops a theory. When he calls Wonwoo multiple times without receiving an answer, he considers it evidence. 

So when Mingyu arrives back at his apartment, he’s seething. Wonwoo looks totally unfazed where he lays on the couch with a book as Mingyu all but throws down his suitcase. “What the fuck did you do?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Wonwoo sounds bored. He doesn’t even look up from his book. 

“The twitter account, you asshole!”

“Oh, that? I hacked it and deleted it.” Wonwoo says this so casually that it almost makes Mingyu’s brain explode. 

“Why would you do that?! You know how hard we worked on that.” Mingyu thinks he might hit Wonwoo. “Months of work and now we have nothing to show for it. And years of work for Seungkwan.”

“That’s too bad,” Wonwoo says without an ounce of sympathy. 

Mingyu is fast approaching the bargaining phase. He plops down on the couch next to Wonwoo. “I thought you said you couldn’t do it anyway. What happened?”

Wonwoo gives him a blank look. “Oh, I’ve spent months on it, but I was finally able to do it over the break. It wasn’t easy, but it was very satisfying to click confirm on that little pop up.”

Mingyu stammers, at a total loss of words. Eventually, he’s pleading. “Why, Wonwoo? That was the basis of our whole project.” 

“And your project is done. I saw the document you guys turned in.” Wonwoo’s voice is turning icy. “What? It wasn’t enough for you to get a little revenge and an A+? Now you want to go back and relive it?”

“Why are you acting like this? You don’t even like her!” Mingyu cried. 

“I like her a hell of a lot more than I like any of you guys right now. I don’t even recognize you anymore, Mingyu.” It’s Wonwoo’s turn to be mad. He slams the book closed, throwing it down on the coffee table. “You tore her apart and then kept that account up to let everyone else keep tearing her apart. Do you feel better now? Does that help you get over the three dates you took her on? Are you seeing how you guys overreacted now?”

“She had it coming,” Mingyu argued but he was losing heat. Wonwoo rarely lectured him like this. 

“You destroyed her. I’ll be surprised if she even comes back,” Wonwoo snapped, standing up to pace. “I asked her if she was okay when she turned in the loaner laptop and she looked like she could cry on the spot. Whatever vengeance you got, I hope you enjoyed it because you don’t get anymore if it touches a computer or phone. I’ll hack every single device you guys have to make sure of it.”

Mingyu has deflated, totally stunned. “Why are you defending her? I don’t understand this at all.”

“I’m defending her because it seems like literally no one else is. I’m sure you know the damage that you’ve caused.” When Mingyu gives him a blank look, Wonwoo snaps again. “Let me refresh your memory. I heard she’s the laughing stock of the sorority and cheer team. She’s deleted her twitter account because there were hundreds of people tagging her in comments. And last I heard Seungcheol and Jeonghan fought.”

Mingyu had heard that. It makes news in the locker room when your captain gets into a fist fight and is sent to the Dean’s office. The coach wasn’t happy. “I can’t help that,” Mingyu insisted. “Besides, that was probably a long time coming. Joshua said Y/N had been sleeping with Jeonghan the whole time.”

“And that’s another thing! They’re both firmly denying that.”

Mingyu rolls his eyes because he can’t help it. “And you believe that? How do you know all of this anyway? Everyone’s been gone for break.”

“You know, I do believe it actually, especially since she didn’t bother denying anything else you guys wrote. And let’s just say some other accounts have been cleaned up as well.” Wonwoo picks up his book. “I’m leaving. I mean it though. You guys are done.”

Wonwoo’s disappointment is clear and leaves Mingyu feeling conflicted. But the thing is, the project’s over and the twitter account is gone. Mingyu decides it’s time to move on. 

Joshua can feel eyes on him, but this time he knows who it is. Minghao has been doing a lot of staring lately. Neither had anywhere to go during the break, but they saw very little of each other. It seems Minghao is upset with him, and Joshua hasn’t asked yet. 

But it’s starting to drive him crazy, because he really wants to enjoy his night off and watch some TV. When he glances at Minghao, his roommate is peering over his laptop. Joshua raises an eyebrow. “What?”

Minghao continues to stare, before finally saying, “Nothing.”

Joshua scoffs. “If you have something to say, just say it. You’ve been like this all break.”

Minghao purses his lips. “Nothing, really. I just thought you were nicer, is all.”

“Nicer? What do you mean?” Joshua prided himself on being polite, a gentleman even. 

“I mean the twitter account.” Joshua must looked surprised, because Minghao rolls his eyes. “Yes, even I have twitter. And even if I didn’t it would have been impossible to miss. I just don’t understand how you got involved in all that. Or why.”

“She deserved it,” Joshua mumbled. He didn’t really have another excuse anymore. He’d deleted the app to keep from looking at it because it was kind of like watching a car crash. 

“I beg to differ.”

Minghao’s statement makes Joshua’s jaw drop as he sits up. “What do you mean? You were the first one to tell me what she was like.”

“Yeah, I get it. Play the player and all. But you and whoever you were working with took it to the extreme,” Minghao said seriously. “I mean, there are some nasty things being written about her.” 

“So?” 

Minghao blinks a few times. “Fine, be that way. Leave me alone, though.” Joshua watched as Minghao slid headphones on and turned away. 

Y/N has never been what you would call a recluse. She liked to be around people, always had, but she finds she can’t when she returns to campus. She hides out in her room at the sorority house most of the time, even avoiding her housemates. Some are mean and others are pitying, but Y/N doesn’t care for either of those things, so she waits until everyone has left or is in bed before she comes out for things like food or laundry. 

She’s taken to spending a lot of time in bed. Not scrolling, not watching TV, not even reading. She’s staring at that same spot on the wall when there’s a knock on her bedroom door. It opens and Seungcheol comes in. They haven’t really talked much outside of the necessities of traveling together so she sits up in bed, surprised. He doesn’t really acknowledge her as he puts the bags he’s carrying down onto her desk. She watches as he unpacks a couple orders of her favorite sushi. When he hands them to her with a pair of chopsticks, her eyes water a bit. 

She doesn’t dig in right away, waiting for him to get his stuff and sit next to her on the bed. He doesn’t crack open his food either. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. 

Y/N shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry. I made such a mess without even realizing it.”

“Maybe a little,” Seungcheol chuckles. “But you’re still my sister and I’m sorry that I didn’t just come talk to you about it. And I’m sorry I haven’t really helped you out any lately. I know you’ve had a hard time with all this.”

Y/N sighs, putting her food to the side. She leans into Seungcheol. “Maybe I deserved it. All the pranks. The twitter account. I didn’t even realize how bad it all looked until I read it along with everyone else.”

She feels Seungcheol shake his head. “No. They don���t understand it.” She doesn’t have to ask what he’s referring to because she knows it’s about their father and the divorce. Seungcheol had once jokingly said the whole thing had given her a complex, but maybe it wasn’t much of a joke. “And anyway, that whole thing with Joshua reeked. I wish I’d pressed you more to end it with him because it’s totally unfair that it was a set up.”

Y/N frowns. She’d tried not to think much of Joshua lately because it would do no good. She hadn’t heard from him and she didn’t expect to, so she hadn’t reached out either. “I should have known it was too good to be true.” 

“Maybe, but it’ll work out with someone someday.” Seungcheol sounds like he means that. After a beat, he asks, “So you and Jeonghan? How long has that been going on?”

“It hasn’t been. We lost our virginity to each other when we were 16. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” Seungcheol sounds surprised. 

“Yeah, I promise. It rarely comes up anymore. I’m not even sure how that rumor got started recently,” Y/N sags into Seungcheol’s side. That was something that hadn’t gone back to normal yet. She was used to seeing Jeonghan all the time, maybe more than she saw her twin, but they didn’t really know how to be around each other lately. 

“Do you wish it would come up? The idea of you and him, I mean?” 

Y/N is surprised by the question, only because she remembers hearing about their fight. “Do you really want to know the answer to that question?” Seungcheol nods. Y/N bites her lip. “Sometimes. I wished it would have back then, but we were so lucky we didn’t ruin our friendship at 16. Not that it matters now, even if I did want it to come up.”

“He misses you too, don’t worry,” Seungcheol says easily. 

“Have you guys made up?” Y/N’s head pops up, relief in her eyes. 

“Yeah, I interrogated him this morning,” Seungcheol smiles and there’s a flash of something mischievous before it clears and he’s serious again. “I told him to come see you but he’s working up the courage. He wishes he could have shielded you from all of this.” Y/N frowns at Seungcheol’s explanation, but he doesn’t let her press him for anything. “And for the record, I’d be okay with it if you two did have something going on. I’d just like to know about it. Don’t keep secrets from me anymore.”

Seungcheol places her food back in her lap and with a tone of finality, he insists, “Eat. That place is expensive.”

Y/N does, feeling a little bit lighter. 

The next day, she decides that she’s not going to wait for Jeonghan to come see her. He’s been her best friend for over 20 years and this is getting fixed today. Seungcheol is out when she knocks on their apartment door. Jeonghan looks like he just woke up but his eyes widen when he sees her. “Surprise,” Y/N sings lamely, holding a bag from their favorite bakery. 

Nevertheless, Jeonghan smiles and lets her in. They sit together on the floor next to the coffee table. As kids, they didn’t care to sit at the table or even on the couch, and it was a habit they still had occasionally if only for nostalgia.

Jeonghan would normally inhale the cake that she’s just given him but he eats slowly today. Y/N picks at her own slice. “I’m sorry you got roped into all of this.” 

He looks at her for a long time and she’s beginning to worry that he’ll kick her out. But eventually he shakes his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong in my book, so there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Others would disagree with you,” Y/N says bitterly, putting her cake down on the coffee table and pulling her knees up to her chest. Laying her chin on her knees, she looks at him. She can’t imagine not fixing this with him, but it’s up to her to apologize and it’s up to him to decide if he still wants to be friends. “I don’t even know how that rumor started. It makes you look bad too, since you’ve been dating as well. So I’m still sorry.”

Jeonghan looks so stubborn now. She knows the look well. It’s the same one he gives when someone tells him to do something he doesn’t want to do, like doing chores or homework. “No. I don’t accept your apology because it’s not needed.”

Tears prick Y/N’s eyes. “Let me apologize,” she pleads. “You should be saying ‘I told you so’ anyway. You’ve been telling me for years to be more careful.”

“You’re misunderstanding, Y/N,” Jeonghan lets out in exasperation. “I never told you to be careful because of how it looked. I know your intentions were never bad. And I never imagined anyone would do anything so… cruel in response to it.” He looks back down to his cake, picking some of the frosting off with the fork. “I only told you to be careful because I didn’t like seeing you get let down over and over again. And I’m certain there’s no one who deserves you so it happens all the time.”

Y/N stares at him while he still picks the frosting off his cake. “Do you really feel that way? Not even you?” There’s a tinge of a joke, but she really wonders.

Jeonghan chuckles, some light returning to his eyes. “Not even me, and I’m flawless.” This earns a laugh from Y/N but then things get quiet. “Of course, I feel that way. Whoever you do end up with one day will be really lucky.”

There are so many things Y/N wants to say, but finally, she lands on, “I feel the same about you. I’ve been telling you for years that you’re total husband material.” 

Jeonghan laughs again. “And who made me learn all that? You hold your best friend to high standards,” he teases. “Now, can we go back to normal? I missed you.”

Y/N grinned. “I missed you too, Hannie. But did you really think I was leaving here without things going back to normal? You’ll never be rid of me, I’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.” Jeonghan shoves her by the shoulder and she loses balance, laying flat on the floor. 

“Don’t make me kick you out. Now, eat your cake or I will.”

Joshua walks into the hospital with a minute to spare. It’s his first day at his internship and he’s really looking forward to it. He goes to the front desk and finds out where he’s supposed to be - to which the answer is the 3rd floor. This is one of the regular units, specifically not the ER or the ICU. As soon as he steps out of the elevator, he bites back a groan. 

Somehow, he’d forgotten that Y/N would be here. And even if she was, he kind of assumed they’d never have to run into each other because they’re interns in different departments. But sure enough, Y/N is standing there with the charge nurse that Joshua was told to find. 

Both women turn to him as he approaches. “Joshua, right?” The charge nurse, Eunji, asks and when Joshua nods, she smiles. “Good! And both of you are on time too. Joshua, have you met Y/N before?”

Joshua looks at Y/N, who doesn’t so much as glance at him now. Evenly, she says, “Yes, we’ve shared some classes.” Her tone has none of the usual sparkle to it, and he’s not sure if it’s because she’s trying to be professional or if it’s because he’s here standing next to her. 

“Great! Well, unfortunately, I don’t have anything exciting for you guys,” Eunji looks apologetic. “We need to do inventory today, and the tech that would normally do it during this shift is out.” Eunji hands both of them clipboards and pens, before leading them to a supply closet. The bare overhead light is not very bright and most of the corners are still dark. “Sorry it’s so dingy in here… Anyway, it’s pretty straightforward. For each line item, do a count and write it down. Split it however you’d like and if you have any questions I’ll be around.”

With that Eunji closes the door behind her, leaving Y/N and Joshua alone. They haven’t seen each other since that Sunday in her bedroom, outside of a couple classes they shared. Joshua feels awkward when Y/N turns to one of the shelves and starts without another word. He doesn’t know why but the silence kills him for the next hour. He has to recount rolls of gauze and boxes of bandaids a few times before he thinks he got it right. 

He’s in the middle of his third count of boxes of alcohol swabs when he hears a grunt behind him. When he turns, he sees Y/N on her tiptoes, trying to reach the top shelf. Without thinking, he comes up behind her, grabbing the bin that she needs and handing it to her. She barely glances up at him when she mumbles a quick, ‘thanks’, before turning to the table in the corner to count the contents of the bin. 

Joshua doesn’t know why he’s staring. Doesn’t know why he thinks she looks cute in hot pink scrubs and a ponytail. Doesn’t know why he likes how concentrated she looks. It burns him up inside that he wants to talk to her when he couldn’t wait to be rid of her last semester. 

Impulsively, Joshua says, “Are you okay?”

She doesn’t look up from the bin. “Yeah, why do you ask?”

“It’s just, we haven’t talked since…” He trails off when he sees the tension building in her shoulders. 

She looks up at him with confusion all over her face. “Joshua, I don’t mean to sound like a smart ass, but what would there be to talk about? That tweet was pretty clear about where we stood.”

“So? You have nothing to say?” Joshua’s blood starts to boil.

“What is there to say? No one wants to hear it anyway,” Y/N says with a bit of bitterness.

“A lot of people want to hear an apology,” Joshua seethed. “You’ve fucked with a lot of people.”

“Yeah. I know how to read twitter comments, Joshua,” Y/N snapped, throwing things back into the bin haphazardly to turn to him fully. “Are you happy? I don’t even know what I did to you. Other guys, fine. I’m not great to date, I get it now. The comments made it crystal clear. But I did absolutely nothing to you.”

“Absolutely nothing? What about sleeping with your best friend while you were seeing me?” 

Y/N throws her hands over her face in exasperation. “When we were 16! Not once since then. I’m so sick of explaining this.”

Joshua freezes. “What? But I heard you guys talking about it.” He watches realization wash over her face. 

“Oh my god,” she groans into her hands again. “You’re telling me you spread a rumor like that because you eavesdropped on a snippet of a conversation that you had no context for?” Joshua’s silence must be answer enough because she barrels on. “We did what stupid teenagers do and wanted to lose our virginities to someone we trusted. And if you had waited five fucking seconds, you would have heard him say that he was happy things were going well with us.” She laughs, but it’s not right because it sounds a little watery. “I really liked you, Joshua. I don’t know what I did to deserve all this. And I don’t give a fuck about the mean girls on the cheer team or in the sorority, or the gross guys on the basketball team, or anyone else on campus for that matter. But you almost wrecked the two relationships that I’ve had for my entire life.”

“You deserve it because I’ve met girls like you,” Joshua bit. “You just have to smile and you get handed whatever you want. You play with people like toys until you get bored.”

“Well, I didn’t get what I wanted, now did I?” Now she’s crying but she looks furious. “You saw to that, did you? All I wanted was for it to finally feel right with someone, and when it did it was all a trick.”

Joshua scoffs. “Like it’ll take you long to move on.”

Y/N’s chin wobbles in the dim lighting and there’s a pang in Joshua’s chest at the sight. “Oh no. I’ll be swearing off dating from now on. No one will have anymore reasons to fuel their stupid pranks or trap dates or twitter accounts.” Joshua freezes again and Y/N is on a roll now. “You didn’t think I would figure out who was behind all of that? It’s a little too convenient that you’ve been hanging out with just about everyone mentioned in that stupid tweet. Do you guys feel like you’ve gotten your revenge now? I considered dropping out over all of this. Would that have made you guys happy to never see me again?”

Joshua stumbles over his words. He didn’t expect her to piece everything together, and he really didn’t expect that she considered not coming back to finish her degree. She was a good student and seemed so invested in her future. But it doesn’t matter what he has to say because she’s shoving the clipboard into his chest hard as she passes by him. “You finish the rest. I can’t fucking reach it anyway.” 

The door slams behind her and he looks around the supply closet for help understanding what just happened. He feels guilty now in a way he hadn’t throughout this whole experiment. He’d felt that he had no choice but to transfer after the embarrassment that was the end of his relationship with Lily, and now he’d just made someone feel the same way. But she was brave enough to come back while he ran across the world with his tail between his legs.

When he finally snaps back to attention, it takes him way more than three counts to get each line item right. 

Two months have passed and things are looking up for Y/N. She, Seungcheol, and Jeonghan are glued to each other again just like it’s meant to be. What few classes she has to take are going well. And she’s getting used to the way things are with other people around campus. Once she got over the initial shock and subsequent depression at the whole situation, she decided not to acknowledge it anymore. She didn’t entertain the conversation with her sorority sisters or teammates when they asked if she was seeing someone. She was getting really good at shutting out anyone that asked her out, which seemed to be just as frequent as it was before. She used to enjoy the attention, but now she just saw a bunch of red flags. 

Her escape had become her internship. After the first day, Joshua was working in another unit so she didn’t have to see him. As promised when she was offered the internship, she would be shadowing in the ER. It was mostly triaging or assisting the non-critical cases, and she didn't even get to do the fun stuff. Mostly, she would call patients back and gather their history under the supervision of an RN. Then she might escort them to a room when one became available. The exciting days were when she could assist with treatments, but it was mostly handing the doctor or nurse things and holding the patient’s hand while she talked their ear off to distract them. 

Today was a triage shift and it was almost over when the nurse from the front desk gave her a new clip board and walked away. Y/N sees the name on the sheet and smacks her forehead with the clipboard hard. Then, resigned, she goes to the lobby. 

“Lee Seokmin.” 

He hobbles into the triage station with another guy holding him up on one side. She can tell he’s surprised to see her, but she doesn’t react to it. “Have a seat,” she said, pointing. She also drags over two more chairs so he can prop up his foot and his friend can sit down. “I’m Y/N and this is Yunseo.” Yunseo waved from the other side of the computer. “Yunseo is the RN for triage today, but since I’m an intern, she’s letting me take some of your medical history. Injured foot, huh?” She says neutrally. 

“Ankle I think… Y/N, this is my friend Junhui.”

Y/N gives Junhui a polite smile, but she can tell by his reaction to her name that he knows quite a bit about what’s been going on last semester. “What happened?” She asks Seokmin. 

“We were rehearsing and I tripped,” Seokmin sighs. 

“Can I take a look? I have to make sure it isn’t critical. If it is, I need to hand it off to Yunseo right now.” Seokmin doesn’t hesitate to roll up the leg of his jeans. His ankle is swollen and starting to develop a nasty bruise. Y/N hums sympathetically, and Yunseo nods encouragingly to her to continue. This is how Y/N knows she’s right to assume it’s not critical. “I’m sorry, that’s rough.” She backs away from Seokmin. “Well, unfortunately there’s not much to do until a doctor can see you besides icing your ankle and taking information for your records.” When Seokmin nods, Y/N zips out of the room.

She wants to linger at the ice machine for a breather, but today’s charge nurse is in the break room taking lunch. So, Y/N works quickly to get the bag of ice and returns to Seokmin and Junhui. Once the ice is on Seokmin’s ankle, Y/N plops down in front of the computer. It’s both a blessing and a curse that these questionnaires are so long. On one hand, there’s not a lot of time for them to talk about anything else when she’s peppering him with questions one after another. On the other hand, it feels like it takes an eternity to get through it. She tries to focus on the fact that this is good experience with Yunseo over her shoulder pointing out certain things.

Y/N feels like she’s so close to freedom after she’s rolled Seokmin in a wheelchair to an exam room while Yunseo calls the next patient to get started. “Someone will be in to see you shortly, but call if you need anything,” she says professionally. Her hand is on the knob to pull it closed behind her when Seokmin speaks up. 

“Y/N? I’m sorry.” 

She pauses and she can’t help but frown at him. He does look sorry actually, guilt all over his face. Junhui must sense where this is going, so he asks where the vending machine is and excuses himself. Y/N is still standing in the doorway, arms crossed now. “Sorry for what?”

“For the experiment. The pranks. Joshua. The twitter account.”

Y/N blinks at him because she’s not sure what else to do. “Experiment?”

“It all started as a psych experiment - conformity on social media. But it got out of control… and that sounds really stupid when I say it out loud.” Seokmin rubs the back of his neck. 

“Yeah, it does,” Y/N murmured. She looks around the pristine exam room because she can’t really look at him. She’d just started to feel better from all of this, but now she’s learning of a whole other layer to it. Her misery lately is a result of a class assignment made of questionable ethics. She’d really like to forget about all of it. “I guess I owe you an apology too. I didn’t mean anything by cutting things off, and I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted more.”

“You didn’t,” Seokmin insists and she looks at him in confusion. “I thought maybe you led me on. I was upset at how things had gone with us. That’s the whole reason I agreed to any of this in the first place. But the longer I think about it, you were pretty honest about how you felt. You shouldn’t have to apologize because I got my hopes up.”

“You’re not the only one though. That twitter account kind of makes it seem like it’s a habit of mine.”

“Yeah… that got really out of control. I’m sorry you had to see any of it. But if it makes you feel any better, it was hacked and deleted.” 

Y/N found herself laughing. “Hacked? Who did that?”

Seokmin looks amused. “Let’s just say you have a very talented friend looking out for you. He shut down that dating app because of you too.” Y/N’s eyes widen. 

“Man, you guys were serious about this revenge.” 

She watches Seokmin relax because she’s laughing again and he finally laughs too. “Yeah, like I said. Out of control. I’ve been trying to convince them to apologize. I think Mingyu, Jihoon, and Seungkwan will come around… I’m not sure about Joshua.”

“Seungkwan? Boo Seungkwan?”

Seokmin nods. “He ran the twitter account.”

“Ah,” Y/N sighs. “Well, you might be right about Joshua. He’s interning here too, and that’s going about as well as you would expect.”

“Total avoidance, huh?” When Y/N raises an eyebrow, he shakes his head. “We haven’t seen or heard much from him either.”

Junhui’s hovering outside of the door with a pack of cookies and a loud crunch gives him away. It makes Y/N laugh. “You can come back in. I’m leaving for real this time.” 

A couple hours later, she waves to Seokmin and Junhui as she leaves. It’s kind of a relief to know that someone involved feels a little bad, but she thinks he’s probably wrong. She won’t be getting an apology from any of the others. 

“You want me to do what?” Wonwoo asks. He thinks he’s heard the request wrong and he’s confused. 

“Bring the twitter account back,” Seungkwan requests again. 

Wonwoo sighs and nods. “Ah, that’s what I thought you said. Two questions, are you stupid and do you know what the word ‘deleted’ means?”

Seungkwan is totally unfazed by the insult. “It’s for another project. You can’t restore it?”

Wonwoo can’t help but glance around the table. The whole crew is back together and he was kind of hoping that would never happen again. It had been a disaster last semester. He finally pins Mingyu with a look. “I told you that you guys would not get a technical method to do this again.” 

“It’s not what you think. We probably should have led with that,” Mingyu puts his hands up in defense. 

“Then what is it? I deleted it for a reason. Nothing on there should have seen the light of day, especially near the end,” Wonwoo says impatiently. He wants nothing more than to be rid of these little requests because he doesn’t trust any of them as far as he can throw them. 

“We need the reach to issue an apology,” Jihoon says simply. “We can’t do that with a brand new account.”

“An apology?” Wonwoo’s laugh gets caught in his throat because he never thought he’d hear something like this considering how evil they were last semester. “This should be good. Tell me more.”

“We’ve been talking,” Seokmin started. “We got carried away and we’d like to reel this back in if we can.”

“There’s not a lot of reeling back in you can do,” Wonwoo scoffs. “The damage is done. Now you guys get to feel guilty about it.”

“Yeah, that’s why we’d like to issue an apology,” Mingyu says. “So can you restore it or not?”

“No! The warning message says ‘permanently deleted’ for a reason.” Wonwoo lies through his teeth. He’s not going to tell him he didn’t hit delete. Instead, he’d changed the email attached to the account and hit ‘deactivate’. “Besides, an in-person apology will probably go much farther. If you’re apologizing to the person I think you’re apologizing to, she doesn’t even have a twitter account anymore to see it.” 

“I don’t think she’d want to see us,” Jihoon huffed. “Which is fair, I guess.”

Seokmin shrugs. “I don’t know, she wasn’t mean to me or anything when I was in the ER last week.”

Joshua has been silent the whole time. Wonwoo’s not sure why he’s even here because he might have been the cruelest of them all and hadn’t seemed to regret any of it. Wonwoo stares him down. “Are you part of this apology too?” He watches Joshua hesitate for a moment, then nod. 

Wonwoo purses his lips. “I can’t promise anything. They might really mean ‘permanently deleted’ when they say it.” He lies through his teeth again. He needs some time to think about it before he hands the account back to any of them. He glares at Seungkwan. “But I’ll be doing some major clean up if I can actually restore it.”

Seungkwan nods eagerly. “I would have done it anyway, but have at it. You’ll probably be faster at it anyway.”

“Great. But how do we make sure she sees it?” Mingyu asks. 

Something catches Joshua’s eye and suddenly he’s jumping out of his seat. 

If Joshua had to describe Seungcheol and Jeonghan in one word, he would say overprotective. He got that vibe at the dinner and movie triple date he met them at. He’s definitely getting that vibe now. In fact, he thinks they might leap over the table at any of them. Maybe Joshua first though with the dirty looks he’s getting.

Joshua has to talk fast to get them to agree to even sit down with the group at the table. Jeonghan even sets a timer for five minutes passive aggressively. 

They explain everything, starting from the psych experiment, to the dating app, the pranks,, the twitter account, and Joshua. Seungcheol and Jeonghan look totally unimpressed. Joshua gets that because it all sounds so fucking stupid now that they have to explain it.

“And you think an apology will fix this?” Seungcheol asks coldly. 

“We’d like to try,” Mingyu says weakly. He’s been feeling Seungcheol’s wrath for two months now. He doesn’t want to run anymore laps or do anymore pushups. 

“It better be a damn good one then. You know she almost didn’t come back to school?” Seungcheol snapped. 

“Yeah, we heard that,” Jihoon said, glancing at Joshua. “Look, we would approach her if we thought she would hear us out. But we’ve made a mess of this to everyone else that followed that stupid account and we need to correct this with them too.”

“I thought it got deleted?” Jeonghan asks, eyes narrowed. 

“That’s why he’s here,” Mingyu says, pointing to Wonwoo. Wonwoo waves him off with a simple ‘don’t talk to me’. “He’s going to try to recover the account. The problem is that we’d also like her to see it.”

Jeonghan scoffs, a bitter smile on his face. “Yeah, good luck getting her back on there.” 

“That’s what we’d like your help with actually,” Joshua started. 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan share a look. The timer goes off on Jeonghan’s phone, but they stay anyway. 

It’s Saturday morning and Y/N is busy hosting a sorority house meeting. The president and vice president have been away at a conference and won’t make it back in time to run the meeting themselves, and as the treasurer the duty falls to her. Her phone has been buzzing in her pocket the whole time and she keeps ignoring it. She’s thinking it’s Jeonghan blowing up her phone because he’s bored, something he likes to do when she’s inconveniently busy. She has no problem making him wait for a bit. 

But it’s becoming apparent that something exciting is happening what with the way all of her sorority sisters will not focus on anything she’s saying. It’s starting to get frustrating and when Y/N can’t take it anymore, she bangs the gavel as a call to order. “Okay, what’s going on? I’m trying to run a meeting here.”

A young sophomore named Ara hesitantly stood up, but she was smiling when she handed over her phone. “You might want to read this, Y/N.”

Y/N didn’t have to skim long before she mumbled, “Meeting adjourned. Have a good day, ladies.”

Did you miss us? Yes - us. 

I started this account a little over two years ago and have always enjoyed interacting with all of you. But if you’ve been a follower for a while, you may have noticed a shift in the tone of this account. You won’t find any evidence of that here now, but… if you know, you know.

That’s because this became a team project last semester. I’ll be honest. It was a revenge plot and as we look back on this plot of ours, we’re embarrassed. We all got carried away, some because of hurt feelings and some because of a desire to run a successful account with a thirst for drama.

So, here it goes. We built a dating app, the one that was posted on here a while back. It was used to make a match with someone that had the same kind of vendetta some of us had against Choi Y/N. 

While we waited for this app to be ready, we began pranking Y/N. At first, we thought it was harmless, but things escalated quickly. (Y/N, we still owe you a new laptop.)

When the dating app was ready, Joshua joined us with the goal of giving Y/N what we perceived to be a taste of her own medicine. We were cruel. Particularly near the end of the semester with our little exposé. 

We owe Choi Y/N an apology. A big one that we’ll probably never convince her that we mean honestly. For the pranks. For Joshua. For the way this account was used. For nearly ruining over 20 years of friendship between her and Yoon Jeonghan on a baseless rumor, and damaging the relationship between her and her twin brother, Choi Seungcheol. 

Y/N, if you’re reading this (and we hope you are), we’d like to start making this up to you. Reach out if you’re interested. 

Seungkwan, Mingyu, Jihoon, Seokmin, and Joshua

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

Ok I’ve written up a full soda angst yap! :D (guys I can not be left alone with my notes app because this got long and sad way too fast)

Sodapop Curtis who continues to watch his brothers suffer and wishes he could make all the pain go away.

Like Darry. He wishes he could do more to help Darry pay the bills and take care of the house and make sure everyone is ok. He secretly picks up extra shifts just to try and make sure they aren’t cutting it too close on money each month. He wishes that he could undo everything and he wishes there was a way he could help Darry go back to college. Because damn it, his brother was gonna get out. Then it all came crashing down, all of a sudden Soda is now in his older brother’s custody. The older brother who he used to trail behind for almost four years. The older brother who would come in and sit with him and read him a story after he had a nightmare. He wishes he could make all of Darry’s stress go away. He wishes he could just snap his fingers and fix all their problems. He wishes and wishes, but that’s all it is, a wish.

And then there’s Ponyboy. Sodapop’s baby brother. And there is nothing that Soda wants more than for his baby brother to never have to know pain. And then it happens. His little brother loses a mom, a dad, a best friend, and the guy he looks up to in less than a year. And there is nothing soda wishes more than that he could undo it all. He doesn’t want his baby brother to wake up in the middle of the night screaming and mid panic attack. He doesn’t want his baby brother to have to make almost daily trips to the cemetery to talk to his best friend. Soda wants Pony to be happy, and to continue on. He wishes that Pony could come home and see Johnny on the couch. He wishes so hard that his baby brother’s pain can be undone. He wishes and wishes, but that’s all it is, a wish.

Then there’s himself. And Soda hates self-pity, but it’s a little hard not to have self pity when you’ve gone through what he has. Because for fucks sake, he’s gone through it too. Soda lost his girlfriend, his mom, his dad, his first friend, and someone who may as well have been his brother too. And that hurts. And he wishes he could make it go away. Sometimes he wishes he could be numb to feeling. He wishes he didn’t feel as much and as deep as he does. He wishes that one day, he’ll go to sleep, and he’ll wake up to his life exactly as it was a year ago. But he won’t. And that sucks and he does pity himself. But not for too long, because at his core, Soda is a caregiver. And he can’t wallow in self-pity, because if he does, who will hug Pony and promise him that one day it will be okay? Who will sit down with Darry and reassure him that him and Pony won’t get taken away because Darry is doing his damn hardest to give them the best life he can? But sometimes, when Pony and Darry are asleep, he lets a few tears slip out. For just a few moments, in the silence of his childhood bedroom, he lets himself feel pity, and he lets himself wish. But in the end, that’s all it is, a wish.

[snowfuneral]

December 24th, 1981

just some hastily written Adler x GN! Bell fluff for Christmas Eve. Don’t expect it to be all that good😭.

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

Not too long after the visit to the islands of Solovetsky, Bell had settled into the routine and familiarity of Adler’s house. Although they were left scrambling to reconcile with their identity, actions, and new domestic lifestyle. Anything was better than being back in the CIA. 

Bell had arose from their bed, wiping the sleep from their eyes as they stretched out their stiffened limbs. Today felt different, although Bell couldn’t place a finger on why. Perhaps they’d forgotten, maybe today had been their mother’s birthday long ago when they still remembered her face or maybe the day of a tragic event that they should be glad to have forgotten. However, Bell had survived through adapting, not dwelling on the past, so, they walked their feet across the tan carpeted floor and to the cold mint tile of Adler’s bathroom, and stood in front of the mirror. 

A deep breath in, then a quick exhale while they stared in the mirror, the usual routine. Dissociation accompanied by toothpaste. Bell reached for their toothbrush, they ended up with the green one from the two pack Adler bought. Bell ran the water, squeezed out the toothpaste and absentmindedly brushed at their teeth, wandering into the hallway as they did. They eventually found Adler, drinking his coffee on the couch, still in his plaid pajama pants. Which was odd, it was a Monday and Bell knew Adler’s schedule after the past few months of living with him.

“No work today?” Bell asked, their voice muffled around the toothbrush. Adler glanced up from the tv and chuckled, his chest rising and falling behind his fitted t-shirt. He patted the seat beside him and spoke.

“It’s Christmas Eve, Bell.” 

Bell blinked, a small part of their brain relieved that they’d gotten an answer as to why today felt so different. Bell didn’t get too many answers. They stood, slowly nodding, but not yet accepting the invitation to sit, instead they ran up the stairs, spit out the toothpaste, rinsed the brush, and only then did they return to the living room and sit, staring up at Adler. 

Adler raised an eyebrow, used to Bell’s behavior, their social interactions were always a bit awkwardly stunted. “Are you not cold?” He asked, glancing at Bell’s pajamas, burgundy plaid shorts and a t-shirt. Not expecting an answer, he reached over to a fleece throw blanket beside them and wrapped it around Bell, pulling them to his side. “That better?” He asked. 

Bell just stared up dumbfounded, no matter how much reassurance they got that Adler was no longer overtired and stressed out about Bell being a ticking time bomb, that he trusted them. Or at least as much as he could considering the circumstance, they still didn’t expect to be receiving affection. Even if it was light like this. Adler let go of Bell, his hand reaching for his cup of coffee, taking a sip before looking back at them. “What’s that face for kid?” He asked, his tone lighthearted. It seemed he was in a real good mood this morning.

“…” Bell stared a little longer, trying to string together enough words, but they’d never been all that good at communicating wants, thoughts or needs. “Not used to you being nice.” Bell finally settled on. 

Adler’s face looked a bit less amused and he let out a sigh as he placed his mug back on the magazine he was using as a coaster. “Bell.” His voice was firm, like a warning, saying the name like he was warning his dog not to bark at the delivery man. He glanced to the side, drawing a deep breath in, his brows softened and he glanced back down at Bell’s wide expecting eyes. He cracked a smile, choosing not to try discussing it with Bell. “Well get used to it.” He hummed, a large hand coming down to roughly ruffle their hair. Trying to discuss the complexity of their relationship with Bell would be like pulling teeth, they were a deadend when it came to communication.

Bell blinked and seemed to accept the answer, pressing against his side as if his reassuring gaze gave her permission to. Adler rolled his hips forward a little and pushed Bell forward a little to slip a thick arm around them. “You want anything for breakfast?” He hummed, exhaling his hot breath on Bell’s face. 

Bell shrugged, an indifferent answer, they didn’t want Adler to get up, they didn’t know how many of these moments they’d have. It seemed Adler neglected Bell’s silent plea for him to stay and started to sit up. “I’ll make you something, what do you want? Eggs? Cereal? … I think there’s some-“ He was cut off by Bell’s fingers finding a death grip on his arm. 

“Geez Bell.” He chuckled, “these need a trim.” He hummed, tapping Bell’s fingernails. When he realized Bell wasn’t letting go he paused at the edge of the couch cushion. “What?” He tilted his head.

“…”

“I’m not hungry.” Bell finally answered after a moment, slowly releasing Adler’s arm. 

“You’re not hungry or you don’t want me getting up?” He asked bluntly.

Bell shrugged again, but Adler knew what that answer meant. “Alright.” He hummed, slowly sitting back and shifting so his back was against the armrest. “C’mon Bell.” He said, spreading his legs a little to let them come closer. “C’mere, bring your blanket.”

Bell listened, crawling inbetween his legs and onto his chest so they were hip to hip. Bell didn’t quite understand where this was all coming from, why he was cuddling them, but they accepted it. It was soft, it smelled familiar, and it was a welcome touch. Adler spread his legs out around theirs as his hands reached for the blanket wrapping it around both of them. 

“Nice and cozy, yeah?” He hummed, a hand coming up to push Bell’s head right into his chest. Bell gave a little nod and let themselves relax, exhaling out all of their tension and letting it be replaced by Adler’s slow, rhythmic breathing.

At peace, the best gift Bell could’ve ever asked  for.

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Reconnect | Connor Bedard

wc. 2.5k

You and Connor have a falling out after he gets drafted that neither of you seem to understand until fate brings you back together again.

Italics = flashback

Sometimes you wonder if moving to another country and almost two thousand miles away from everyone and everything you know and love was the right idea. 

Granted, the most important person in your life left first so how could anyone blame you? 

At the young age of 18, Connor Bedard had been drafted first overall to the Chicago Blackhawks, a dream that had been a long time coming. When you heard the news you couldn’t help but think about all the times the two of you had talked about the NHL draft. 

“Do you think the Canucks will draft you?” You ask, your head hanging off of Connor’s bed to look at him upside down. 

“That’s not how that works, bear,” Connor responds and you roll your eyes at the childhood nickname. 

Your eyes trace over Connor’s features and you find yourself frowning at the boy. His smile hadn’t reached his eyes and he looks away from you quickly. 

“Bedsy?” You ask quietly and when he looks back at you his expression is hard to read. 

“What if I don’t get drafted at all?” 

You tilt your head at him but when his expression remains the same, you’re quick to get up from his bed and kneel down in front of him. You place both hands on his knees, forcing him to look at you. 

“No matter what happens, you’ll always be number one to me,” you tell him sincerely and a ghost of a smile appears on his lips. “Besides, they’ve been scouting you since you were in pee wee. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” 

You thought you would have been there when Connor got drafted. You thought you would be able to cheer him on and hug him afterwards. Finally tell him that you told him so. 

You never thought the news would reach you as you unpacked your first apartment in Minneapolis and one of your high school friends called you to tell you. 

Your contact with Connor after that had essentially been non-existent. You texted him a congrats and he responded with a short text and that was it. 14 years gone in what felt like minutes. 

And for the life of you you still couldn’t figure out why. 

A few months before the draft, Connor had started to distance himself. You knew he was busy with practices and games, the stress of the upcoming draft making it harder on him. You tried to be there for him as much as possible but he didn’t want you. 

“(y/n)?” you feel someone shaking your shoulder lightly and your eyes flutter open to meet Connor’s dark ones. 

You look around for a moment, forgetting that you had come over to Connor’s house to hangout with him after his game. Connor looks like he just got home, jacket still wrapped tight around him and the tint of pink still staining his cheeks from the cold. 

“What time is it?” you ask groggily as you sit up and rub at your eyes. 

“Almost midnight,” he tells you and your mouth forms into an awkward o at the answer. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Connor murmurs quietly, taking a seat with a heavy thud onto the couch next to you. 

“What?” you ask, not sure if you heard him right since you’re still waking up. 

“You shouldn't be here. I didn’t ask you to come here,” he says more firmly this time. 

“I just-” you start, his words stinging but he doesn’t let you explain. 

“I didn’t ask you here and I don’t want you here okay? What are you gonna do? Follow me to the NHL?” 

Each word feels like a knife to your chest and you’re genuinely stunned at them. Your mouth opens and closes, floundering like your heart was, trying to come up with something to say to your best friend. 

“Just go,” he says at last. “Go.” 

For weeks afterwards you grappled with the loss of your best friend. You barely left your bed for weeks. Your family and friends had to drag you out of the house and force you to keep living. For a while you didn’t quite understand why it hurt so fucking badly. 

At last when you found out that the Hawks had the first pick in the draft and every news outlet, sports analyst, and casual fan declared Connor as their pick you couldn’t take it anymore. You wanted out of Vancouver and certainly out of any vicinity that Connor might come near. Even though you knew Connor was headed to the states for hockey, you couldn’t help but need a fresh start away from Canada and all the memories that your home country came with. 

You looked and applied for multiple colleges throughout America and for whatever reason when you saw an acceptance letter from the University of Minnesota, you found yourself accepting. It was in a different country and far enough away from both Canada and Chicago that you could start new and try to forget about Connor. 

Besides, Connor would only be in the same city as you a couple of times a year. The occasional game against the Wild wasn’t going to stop you from this opportunity. 

You settled into Minnesotan life quickly, enjoying the weather since it was so similar to home and your college classes had been going well. You made friends with ease and as much as they tried, you wouldn’t be going to a Wild game any time soon. 

Connor had been in an ongoing bad mood since the night of the draft. 

Nothing in his life felt right if you weren't there beside him for it all. He smiled for the media, explained what an amazing opportunity this was for him, and tried to bond with his teammates but there always seemed to be a storm cloud following the young centerman. Thankfully most people chalked it up to a tough rookie year for him but he knew it had to do with you. 

You were his good luck charm. His best friend. The girl he had been in love with since god knows how long. He pushed you away before the draft because he was scared of losing you. Or worse, scared you wouldn't want him the way he wanted you. 

Even if you did, he didn’t know what the NHL life would be like. He didn’t want to throw you into the spotlight with him and drive the two of you apart because of a dream he had been chasing his whole life. He knew himself. He would have given it all up for you. You were his first and only dream after all is said and done anyway. 

He had heard from a friend of a friend or something along those lines that you had decided to go to school at the University of Minnesota, a full ride scholarship being your main reason for going but Connor knew you better than you knew yourself. You wanted out of Canada and away from the memories. Connor had been doing a decent job of forgetting the memories too, until he had to play against the Wild. 

You don’t know how your new friends had managed to convince you to go see the Wild game. You had planned to stay far away from the Xcel center for the entire time you would be in the state of Minnesota but you hated the way your friends were begging you to go just this once. You broke down and said yes and besides, how could you turn down free tickets to a hockey game? 

Your friend let you borrow a jersey and the four of you headed out to the arena. The minute you walked through the stadium doors you were hit with a sense of longing and nostalgia. You missed the days you and Connor would spend watching hockey together, bundled up for the cold rinks to watch high schoolers play whenever Connor wasn’t and living your best life when you got to watch the occasional professional game. 

The two of you always imagined a future where he would be the professional on the ice and you were in the stands cheering him on as you always had. Your best friend for life. 

“(y/n)?” you hear your friend call and you fail to notice how the whole group paused to look at you with worried expressions. 

“Sorry,” you apologize before joining them again and forcing yourself back to the present. 

The seats were close to the ice, a row back from the glass seats and you wanted to question how your friend got such great tickets but decided to let it slide. When you got there you dropped your items on the seat before turning to see the players warming up. 

For whatever reason, Connor had been jittery since entering the state of Minnesota. He couldn’t quite place why but he knew from the moment he crossed state lines he had been shaking ever since. The game tonight was against the Wild, them having a better season than the Hawks by far with a second place spot in the central division to prove it. However, that wasn’t the reason Connor was nervous. 

The minute he stepped out onto the ice nothing else mattered anymore. He felt his mind rush quiet, the crowd fading, the worries slip off his skin like water in a rainfall. It was him, the ice, and the sport he loved. However, just as he completes his first lap of warmups he sees you. 

You turn, your eyes scanning over the players, your friends deep in conversation about something when you see him. He’s gliding along the ice with ease like he’s done a million times, like you’ve seen him do a million times and your heart has effectively ceased its actions in your chest. Why didn’t you check to see who the Wild were playing? 

It suddenly all made perfect sense as to why Connor couldn’t seem to breathe properly when he crossed into Minnesota. His heart knew that you were here. You were so close yet so far away from him and his body couldn't take it. 

The world turns to slow motion as you and Connor make eye contact and you watch with bated breath as he skates over to your spot by the glass. His eyes search yours, the world fading away around the two of you. His gloved hand reaches up, tapping the glass twice before drawing half a heart, a pregame tradition that dated back to when you were just kids. 

As if your body couldn’t help it, you reached up, tapping the glass with your finger twice as well before drawing the other half of the heart. His hand comes up to rest on the glass and yours mirrors it, the two of you focusing on the movements instead of each other. Your hand clenches till it’s in a fist, bumping the glass before one last touch with your pointer finger that Connor mirrors on the other side. 

When you finally get the courage to look up at him again, you see a hurt resting in his eyes that never seemed to be there before. His head dips as he skates away and you don’t move for several long moments after that. 

“(y/n)?” your friend calls for the second time that night. 

“I uh,” you stutter out, meeting her gaze. “I have to go. I’m sorry.” 

With that you tear up the stairs, taking the steps as quickly as you can, all but sprinting out of the arena. When you finally crash through the exit doors and the freezing Minnesota temperatures wash over you is when your emotions catch up as well. 

Connor was your best friend. He was also your first love. Something you never let yourself dwell on much until this very moment. When you thought it was all said and done, but here he was. You had to face the music now. You lost your best friend and the love of your life in one fell swoop months ago and now you had to deal with the fall out; for real this time. 

You catch an uber back to your apartment, the quiet of the building greeting you like an old friend. You spent the whole drive back thinking about Connor, wondering what he was thinking and feeling. Wondering if there was some way, somehow, some time the two of you would be able to find your way back to one another. You pad around your apartment for what feels like hours just thinking about everything that has happened. 

Connor knew the minute you had completed the pregame handshake ritual, he hadn’t totally lost you. He knew you had come back to him even though there was still so much to do. So much to talk about and explain between the two of you. He knew though that he had time. He was certain of it now more than ever. 

He managed to find out where your apartment was through your sibling and several phone calls. He headed there right after the game, his mind hadn’t left you ever since he saw you again. 

You’re snapped out of your looping series of thoughts by your phone ringing. You don’t recognize the number but still swipe to answer it anyway. 

“Hello?” 

“It’s me,” Connor murmurs on the other end of the line. 

“Bedsy?” you ask, the childhood nickname slipping off your lips. 

“Can you please buzz me in?” he asks and your jaw drops open in shock. 

“What?” you ask unsure if you really heard him correctly. Was he seriously here? At your apartment? 

“Can you please buzz me in?” he asks, a little more edge to his tone than before. “It’s cold out here.” 

Without a second thought you cross the room to your front door and buzz Connor in. You wait by the door and yet his sharp knock still causes you to jump when you hear it. You swing the door open and before you know it, Connor is pulling you in close. 

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. His arms are wrapped tight around your waist, his face pushed into your neck, his words muffled in your hair. You’re shocked not only by his presence but the fact that he was holding you like you might disappear in his arms out of nowhere if he isn’t careful. 

“I’m sorry too,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer than before. 

“Bedsy?” you call his name quietly and he pulls back to look at you, really look at you with those blue eyes that seemed to read you like a book. 

“Can I stay?” He whispers the question and you’re hit with an image of young Connor, nervous and worried and scared. Your best friend. The one you’ve missed so dearly. The one that you hoped you could be more than just best friends with one day. 

“Come on,” you tell him, tugging him further into your apartment with the intent of bringing your two souls back together again. 

[sonyeoshaydae]

im suddenly stressed and restless for no reason

and my mom has been asking me questions she doesnt need answers to all day