#sitting all alone in my room
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Thanks to this king for making me realize im a lesbian!! 💖
#the context here is that i#thinking i was bisexual at the time#and further more having dated men in my life#decided to romance this vampire#and then he was flirting with me and i#sitting all alone in my room#literally the place of no social pressures#realized HUH!!!!!!#i hate it!!#i am cringing because i dont like men#like this is such a fun character#hes sexy#hes funny#hes evil#what more could i want!!!#the answer#dear viewer#was women#astarion
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pov: you're nicky asking them to go to a social function after practice
#theyre like: i wanna be alone#nicky: youre literally going to hangout after this#them: its not the same#you know damn well they sit in a room together in silence and parallel play or just rot#its important to their wellbeing#character design#my art#aftg#all for the gay#all for the game#aftg fanart#andrew minyard#neil josten#aftg andreil#andreil fanart#aftg the raven king#aftg trilogy#aftg foxes
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#considered posting this to my 'main' for a second but then realized i just post most ship art here so it goes here.#now the real question should i use the main tags or stick to a ship tag. but i think the tags might be empty anyway so dont mind if i do#my art#monarch a trois#dr. girlfriend#henchman 21#the monarch#dr mrs the monarch#uhhhh#venture bros#vbros#ask to tag#im new here i have no idea what tags to use 🫡#i mainly just wanted to draw them all together cause yknow. they could be a thing#so yeah this is ship art but take it however you want#ALSO i got very lazy with the clothes and coloring i honestly just wanted to do a pose like this and then didnt really want to think abt#the clothes and then when it came to coloring i considered leaving them in all black but it was hard to see them then#so i added a tiny bit of color after having this sit in my files for over a week#i want to draw them more but i have no ideas at all im just imagining them having like movie nights whenever they can nd stuff#i loved how domestic the show got to depict them being somehow. injecting the scenes where theyre in their kitchen into my bloodstream#but now that sheila isnt a part of the villain trio its like ough... leaving the boys home alone in their r/malelivingspace#garys s7 room 💀#also i cropped this cause i could not be bothered to draw shoes. i actually drew them for dr gf and monarch but i gave up on garys#<- has not drawn shoes in months because of liking cartoon animals that dont wear them
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Who is the best and who is the worst to sit next to on the plane?
no one could agree who unanimously is the best insisting their seatmate, previous or otherwise, was (ekky→benny, benny→reino, sasha⇆bobby, swaggy→forsy, luosty→mikksy)
but the worst? with a whopping two votes against him (benny, swaggy) is ekky because hes loud and forces guys into joining the poker table 😭😭😭
special mention forsy and mikksy copping out of the question like theyre carebear incarnates and going everyone is the best :)
Primetime Panthers | 10.30.24 (x)
#carter verhaeghe#aaron ekblad#sam bennett#sam reinhart#evan rodrigues#aleksander barkov#sergei bobrovsky#gustav forsling#eetu luostarinen#niko mikkola#florida panthers#2425#the editing is SO EVIL#“ekkys loud” (cuts to ekky going well /some/ would argue that rodrigues is the best because hes /quiet/)#yeah ekky whos that censored some huh. you guys mustve squabbled about this before so many times#to know sams club existed on the plane. oh sams club...#i need to know the updated poker table layout with the departure of most cats who sat there#swaggy willingly sits at the poker table and gets shocked when the guy whos the worst at poker bats his eyelashes at him to join#my favourite thing is swaggy and benny who dont want to hurt ekkys delicate feelings and try to say it as softly as they can#swaggy looking at the door nervously like ekky is gonna burst in and whine about him choosing him as the worst#him getting even more nervous as he mentions forsy because god forbid he gets in between 542#[insert sasha all by myself swinging his legs as hes sat alone on picture day pic]#bobby “i enjoy the convos i have with sasha :)” vs sasha “when i want to talk bobby is always sleeping” truly comical#also luosty... mikkolier or mikkoLIAR i need to know the spelling of this...#luosty and his shit eating grin as he teases mikksy#insert sasha's comment on mikksy where he goes yeah hes chill hes not as sensitive as lundy#mikksys soft yeah anytime someone mentions he loves people :(((#“a man of the people :D” oh they absolutely blasted the groupchat with all the “man of the people” comments people made#when mikksy chugged a beer at elbo room and cussed on local news oh dear god
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not an ask, but I saw ur post and relate a lot to it.
anticipatory grief sucks. people will tell you not to think about it, not to let it steal from today, but some days are just so hard. sometimes it feels unavoidable, like it’s some goliath mountain in the distance or even the sky and you can’t not look at it. it’s like you have to keep trying to distract yourself not to think about it, and it’s exhausting, and you’re so fucking scared of the inevitable.
like how does anyone even function? the idea of the world continuing to spin when there’s this terrible, horrible thing that will happen some day is unfathomable but it does, and it’s horrible. Some day will mark the before and the after. nobody can ever be ready for it.
I hope the love you have keeps you strong. wishing you the best.
this is literally it. i know thinking about it Now wont make the actual day it happens any easier. but it's impossible to not think about it, especially since there's no tangible way to preserve memories or feelings or the like forever. i cry easily and get emotional over most anything and everything, which is another layer of difficulty wrt it because I spiral. I want to squeeze out of my body. im not meant for any of it
#skunk mail#Anonymous#ill be in a car with my dad fighting tears thinking about how ill miss it one day and there's no way for my brain to capture the moment and#make a simulation of it. and even then that wouldnt help. ykwim#sometimes i sit in my parents room while my parents and brother are there and i cant stop thinking about when ill see them for the last tim#and how i wish i could full really truly wring every last drop of ''appreciation'' from the moment.#i think about that time isnt linear thing. how everything that has happened or will happen exists on its own#and i think about the cheye experiencing the After tragedy. and i cant handle it. not now or then. i envy the past cheye#even the one of 5 seconds ago. because that was 5 seconds ive lost. 5 seconds closer to events that will#separate my life into Before and After. over and over again#(like you said anon. i think abt that all the time too)#i think this is also why im struggling with the thought of moving out#we all have so little time. dont even get me started on the fear and grief i feel for my own life#not only fearing dying but fearing the lead up where ive lost and cried over much. just me. alone.#ill never see them again. it will never be today again. we'll never be in my parents room like today again. i cant take it.#even if i spend every last second with everybody i still wont be able to take it. i cant believe it#human beings that were all somebody's baby once. tomorrow it will be like they were never here at all. all their memories#go with them. it hurts so bad. i cant take it#i cant even breathe rn ruminating abt it *peace sign emoji*
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in the showing up to the library with an overnight bag part of exam season
#haven’t done any revision for the past two days bc I’ve been too sick but im at least half human today so it’stime to LOCK IN#been here since 5:30pm and my study room isn’t booked until 10pm lol. lmao even#also in the entire four floors of the library i sat down looked up and saw a guy i know sat directly opposite me#we’ve hung out enough that id call him a friend but we’re not close and also I came here alone on PURPOSE to make sure i acc worked#so i was just like oh 😃 hi 😃#and im not flattering myself either i bet he was the exact same 😭 kms of ALL SEATS WHY DID I SIT HEREEEEE#hella goes to uni#will keep u posted on my library lockdown
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#circe saga#epic the musical#the odyssey#jk we all know I’ll be sitting alone in my room listening to this
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truly truly Neil Charlie Todd triumvirate is king please share any thoughts you have on them
OH BOY ANON YOU HAVE OPENED A CAN OF WORMS.
I. OPENING THESIS?
Basically, here’s my abstract for this whole thing:
(Les Misérables, trans. Isabel F. Hapgood)
And having put this down, I’ll ask you to overlook it, lol. Or treat it as a very loose guide! (If you haven’t any idea what the context of this refers to, here’s a quick rundown: a chief is a leader and someone who people rally behind. A guide is an enthusiast about all things and an advocate for progress, someone who checks the rampant idealism of the chief. The centre is warm, loyal, and acts almost as a mini-Sun for the chief and guide to orbit around, to stop them shooting off on their own wild trajectories.) In the interest of complete transparency, reading Les Mis at a young age had this irreparable effect on me where I now have to think of every triumvirate as a chief/guide/centre dynamic, but I don’t think this model applies 1:1 towards Neil/Charlie/Todd. Instead, I think of them a little as composites, interplaying with each other – Charlie as a guide who would much rather be a chief, Neil as a chief who works better as a guide, and Todd as a centre who’s never given the grace to grow into that role. Let’s go!
II. CHARLIE AS THE CHIEF-GUIDE
Charlie is like if rowdiness was a Guy. He’s big, he’s brash, he’s the instigator and he’s the captain and he’s the shameless one and he’s a side character! I have always found this very interesting whenever I watch DPS; despite Charlie’s main character-ness he is secondary, and doesn’t even get his own sideplot in the same way that Knox (for example) does. He’s a born leader who by virtue of the trappings of his story is relegated to supporting others, although you can so, so clearly see him fighting for space in the story. He gets pushed into being a guide almost by default; only the trait of enthusiasm really applies here. If Neil wasn’t there he’d be the leader of their group, no question. And the thing about Charlie is that he gets things done. He’s the one pushing the most for the re-creation of the Dead Poets Society after Neil, he’s caustic about things that are in his way (“Well, why don’t you stay home?”), people follow him! See Knox running after him, asking to be taught:
Charlie is the man of action – the telephone stunt is the biggest incident of that. And the way the boys gather around him afterwards as he regales them is chief-like; here he is acting as the chief, because this is around the same time that Neil’s chief role starts to slip away from him. But more of that later.
The big thing is that Charlie never gets to really assume that role of chief, because Neil is always there. I talked earlier about how he pushes for the re-creation of the Society; well, Neil is the one who finds Keating’s old annual and reads it aloud to them. Charlie is the one cutting down the guys’ concerns about sneaking out after school: Neil is the one who suggests it – more than suggests it! Almost commands it, in a way that leaves little room for debate:
(Note that in this section, it’s Charlie who does the arguing for Neil, who doesn’t speak except to lay down the law and then ask who’s coming. Real king and knight energy.)
Charlie never quite manages to edge into centre stage. You can sort of see how there might be resentment there – perhaps there would have been if they had gone on uninterrupted. But then of course Neil dies, and Charlie assumes the chief role by default, but it’s no longer glorious or something he can covet. But he does it anyway; he wakes up Todd, he breaks the news to him, very, very gently, he wipes Todd’s mouth with snow when he vomits and tells the others to leave him alone. But by this point, Charlie going into the chief role he’s so good at isn’t enough to stop the splintering of their group or his own expulsion.
III. NEIL AS THE GUIDE-CHIEF
Part of Neil’s tragedy is that he would be good at the things his father wants him to do! He’s a wonderful all-rounder, he's the perfect all-American specimen, there’s no doubt in my mind he would have been a great doctor – except he wouldn’t, because the enthusiasm and the motivation would have been lacking entirely. (As someone who just did a shit ton of medical school interviews, yeah, they would have sniffed this guy out really fast. Or maybe they wouldn't… not sure how stringent they were in the ‘50s.) He would have been technically great. But being able to do something doesn’t mean you should; these are the things that Mr. Perry conflates and which Neil is never able to verbalise to him, except in a way in which he thinks he’ll understand:
In this scene, when he talks to him post-performance it’s not “I enjoyed it”, but a very simple, “I was really good”. And despite this concession of terms he says it when his father can't hear, because he knows he would never relent, oh God.
Actually, a lot of what I wanted to say about Neil has already been said in Charlie’s section. (The summary is basically that you must imagine me offstage with a megaphone as the movie plays, yelling, “YOU TWO NEED TO SWITCH PLACES, FUCKOS���.) Neil is a good leader, but that doesn’t mean he likes being one, or that he should be one! He has a few characteristics of a guide – he’s enthusiastic about everything, he has this boundless kind of delight in the things he loves (not idealism; that’s slightly different). But this is honestly where the model falls apart. I don’t think that Neil would make a great guide either, logic not being his forte; the irony is that the role of the triumvirate he most fits IS the chief, it’s just that that’s what kills him. The responsibility that comes with being someone who “speaks and people listen” isn’t good for him – this dichotomy of having “control” over the friendship group/no control over his personal life is terrible. He does get to lose the chief role, but it’s not in a way that is good for him; instead this manifests in a loss of control that happens very very quickly, which just makes him reach for ways in which he can control his own life. And besides, stepping outside of a leadership role with a great deal of responsibility and losing control over the course of your own life are two very different things. I just think that he should get to go offstage for a little bit and rest, with zero expectations on him ever. (Also there’s something here about how he gets to play Puck – a side character who has major effects on the story but doesn’t have to actually put his skin in the game. This is what I think Neil should get to do In Real Life.)
IV. TODD AS THE PROTO-CENTRE
One thing about Todd is that in my mind, I always imagine him as much redder than he actually is in the movie. I don’t mean I imagine him to blush more often – I mean ruddier, more flushed. Going back to the Les Mis quote – in my mind he does “possess all the qualities of a centre, roundness and radiance”! Todd is a catalyst like Keating in a way that Keating isn’t; this is never explicit at all but he has always felt to me like someone who inspires others by their presence. He’s such a wonderful, calming, grounding influence. Even when he talks to Neil and they have that non-argument he tempers Neil and reminds him what’s at stake without looking down on him. And when he realises how serious he is, he goes with it and supports him to the best of his ability – he says “Oh, Neil, Neil, you’re crazy” but it’s fond, he’s overjoyed for him. And you can see similar behaviour perhaps to a lesser extent with Charlie in the way particularly he calls him Nuwanda after his request, which is taken as ridiculous by other characters:
And even after Neil’s death he does so, refusing to go back to normal:
But the reason I’ve put “proto-” for a prefix is because these are all singular occasions. The thing is that I think Todd could be that brilliant, grounding, assured man, a lighthouse of a man, almost. But he isn’t – he clearly isn’t – at the beginning of the movie he is shy and diffident and the non-argument I mentioned early does go a little sour, because while he speaks from a place of concern and love, his anxiety manifests in the conversation and makes him a little less tactful than he might have been otherwise. If things had gone on better than they went, and if Todd had been allowed to grow and develop more and without worry, he really, really would have blossomed into this kind of centre, this very steady man who would have reminded Neil of the consequences of his actions and made Charlie care about the consequences of his. But he doesn’t get to do that – by the time he grows and becomes more confident it’s too late, the worst has already happened.
V. SUMMARY
I’m so sorry, anon, this is a prodigious answer to what was a very simple ask, but you hit on the subject I have Very Strong Feelings About. Not to toot my own fanfic horn, but there’s an excerpt from the fair folk AU which I think sums this up pretty well:
TL;DR: Charlie gets pushed into a secondary position which doesn’t suit him; Neil gets pushed into a leadership position which suits him, but he hates; Todd is willing to step into that secondary position as a behind-the-scenes supporter, but never actually gets that opportunity. Hence the tragedy. Hence the taking of lives. Hence how many fucking tears I have shed over this movie, Jesus.
(I had a lot of fun writing this – thank you for giving me a reason to!)
#anon oh my god i'm like. brewing some tea for you right now and sitting you down. thank you so much for asking the question#and giving me an excuse to word-vomit for a while#ask#dead poets society#dps#charlie dalton#neil perry#todd anderson#dps fandom#dead poets fandom#also: neither here nor there but i have a pet headcanon where the triumvirate rent a flat together after uni#and each have their own studies with todd's in the middle#the walls are very thin so that sometimes neil and charlie will have solid long arguments through them#and sometimes todd will interject and/or mediate#god i love him#if the argument gets heated neil or charlie will actually go into todd's room to yell through the wall closer#instead of leaving him alone. he finds this all intensely amusing#tristan writes
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they are similar
#painting is Interlude by Jeremy Lipking#my beautiful Neki#I must tell you all how beautiful he is waking up in the morning.#he tries to blink the drowsiness from his eyes but he gives up so quickly#he isn’t fully awake for another half hour or so!! but I rush ahead#he’ll sometimes do some stretches when he gets out of bed#common one is the Touka Stretch! he reaches his arms over his head and grabs the opposite elbows!#he has very pretty arms. pretty muscles. his complexion is very even but his skin is a little dry#Kaneki likes to leave the curtains undrawn overnight so when the morning comes it illuminates him so wonderfully!#I love how he looks bathed in light he is truly a marvel#I love when he wears t shirt and shorts or briefs to bed unbeatable boy combo#anyway when he leaves his room he might go take a pee or splash his face or something (usually it’s bathroom time) but immediately after#he sets up the kettle to boil so he can have his morning coffee#the coffee is extremely important!!!!!! it is what will actually wake him up!!!!!!!!#until this point his house could’ve been moved to a different planet and he wouldn’t even notice#this is a secret but sometimes while waiting for it to boil if he’s leaning against the counter and no one else is up#he’ll start drifting off again…… don’t tell anyone 🤫 it’s really cute#and when he sips his coffee.. he may do a little sigh…#he’s only up that early when he has somewhere to be though otherwise my boy will sleep in so late#and then he goes to sit with his friends or somewhere where he can watch them a bit while he gets himself together#maybe Banjou will look at his bed hair and say “huh. you look like a dandelion”#and it’s true he is the most wonderful dandelion there is because you don’t even have to make a wish#he alone is like every wish come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my Kaneki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🌱🥰#kaneki time#kaneki ken
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Sorry for not being very boopy. Just not feeling very boopable tonight.
#i feel like energy / caring / everything levels are just going 📉 tonight#and kind of just done with all things#picture me sitting in a dark room alone with a tiny glowing pumpkin in my palms#thats the mood i suppose so happy spooks to you all 🕯✨️🍂
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I will never forgive a single one of you
#There will come a day when your grandchildren see your faces in the history books and spit on you#“We survived the last one” no we all didn't#I lost so many#so many#His policy changes almost got me killed twice alone#I mean that literally -- in the hospital trying not to die because of the shit he did#Later today I am going to have to face a room full of [redacted] and promise to do everything I can to protect them and not give up#all while pretending I'm not already sitting in my grave#Of course I'm going to fight of course I am but Christ alive fuck you people who think this is a game#and honestly fuck everyone who looked at what happened and didn't see massive voter suppression for what it was#“why didn't so-and-so shift blue” because they challenge mail-in ballots and purge the rolls late and shut down polling locations#and if they call you a “felon” you can't vote. And guess what sort of people they like to make felons?#Reminding myself through gritted teeth that if almost half of Texas voted blue - that's a higher population than some blue states have#It's a lot of people. It's so many people. So many many people tried#People out there care and are trying don't forget them don't abandon them don't condemn them in the hatred#Welp.#If you're still reading this I'm so sorry#If you're USAmerican remember: if they come knocking on your door asking for the neighbor in your attic - you don't know shit#You have never seen a shoplifter in your life. You never had nor never knew anyone who got an abortion.#You don't know any queer people. Especially not a trans person. Especially especially not a trans kid.#Social media sites are not safe for communication. It's not a game okay. Get real good at being careful#Buy an air cleaner and a water filter and get ready to keep an eye on food contamination outbreaks#Get to know your local farmers#Buy a chicken. Name it Reggie. Reggie gonna give you eggs.#Living is an act of defiance. Fighting is an act of love
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#eheeuihgegjjegehgjemghejgegjhgekhe#ueheghehjeghjghjeghjefegfehgekfekhgeeg#oweuubueggheghwhggejgejeehgejhgjeg#HHHHHHHHHHRGHEGHRGEHRJGREJERGUGRJHEGHJRGHRRK#hi. hi. hi. hi. hi. hi#Can anyone hear me. does anyone even understand#pig spinning in circle gif again#he is doing some insane shit to my brain#AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH#(sitting all alone in my room with nothin going on) HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP HELP MEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHEEEEEELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP#NORMAL. I HAVE NORMAL FEELINGS ABOUT THAT GUY#WHOEVER HE IS#....................#........................................#..................#crammerposting
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THESE TOOK SO FUCKING LONG!!
some of the pictures are a little blurry but we're just gonna have to deal with that
#the mountain goats#absolute lithops effect#collage art#all hail west texas#this song hits differently when it's summer vacation and you know you're going to spend the rest of the summer alone in your room#and also your jaw hurts and you're dealing with a bunch of medical conditions#save me john darnielle#i really don't like how the last one came out cause i was running out of things to put in it and had to use that weird W#but i guess we'll have to deal with that too#special thanks to my SPED school's art room and the two nice art therapists that tolarate me#this is the only actually productive thing i did this school year other than sitting around and petting cats
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"wdym you don't know him he's your 'aunts' son" I have literally never met or heard of this guy in my life and I only see the 'aunt' once a year
Like I haven't even met him as a kid this is just a random adult man I do not know
#random#we haven't even gone out to dinner yet and mum has already called me rude#bc the second i walked into the house i had 5 different people talking to me#and i got hugged by like three people so i got overstimulated even faster than i thought i would#and i panicked and went to my room to calm down but my grandad followed me bc he wanted to ask me more questions#but i got to sit alone for like 5 minutes before my mum came in and told me i cant be rude and i need to try to be nice today#but her opinion of being rude is just me ignoring all my boundaries/discomfort/anxiety so I'm going to get yelled at#and like i said we haven't even gone out yet so theres a pretty high chance im going to start crying in front of my entire family#and that'll make me even more overstimulated so fucking yay#vent post#in the tags mostly#sorry for the rant
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for single friends: what do you do/do you do anything to celebrate valentine's day? (Or galentine's day for that matter)
#my friends and i want to do something together so that we're not all sitting in our rooms being alone and sad#all of us having gone through some romantic disappointment or other recently#would appreciate ideas!! we dont have any#since all the nice cafes and bakeries around here WILL be overrun by couples#that's just how it is in this towb#town
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Thinking about Syril doing his own tailoring.... how did he learn? Did Eedy teach him or did he teach himself? Has he been sewing since he was a kid? What do sewing kits even look like in the gffa? Does he go fabric shopping? Does he genuinely enjoy doing it or is it just a necessity to him? I’m fascinated.
#star wars#andor#syril karn#kyle soller#like it's a real skill that takes years to learn to do professionally#and to my untrained eye he seems to do it very well#which leads me to believe he started young#maybe eedy taught him how to do repairs and he just took off from there#oh no#now i have this image of little syril#sitting all alone in him room#fixing his hand-me-downs to look brand new 🥺
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