#like the amount of video essays I have made in my head is astounding

[luna-the-cretar]

So I was eating this absolute nightmare of a texture experience that was my dinner (my mom had made gumbo, except she had literally none of the ingredients she usually adds, so it was literally just oily over-seasoned rice and sausage. It was bad. It’s usually better than that, idk what was up with her), and I was describing to my brother what Derek was doing when Frost had the oily mouth in episode 2, and he made the mistake of asking me something related to the Yuletide oneshot.

Which prompted an hours worth of blabbering from me about essentially nothing. I was just blabbering about the Yuletide oneshot. At one point he was like “I like on how you said you weren’t going to go into it, and here you are, going into it”, which prompted me to say “well, you asked questions about it, so this is really your fault”, before continuing to blabber on about the Yuletide oneshot for another 20 minutes

I mean, to my brothers credit, I guess, he did quietly listen as I just. Talked. About LOA. I literally never get to talk about my current hyperfixations to anybody, so if they get me talking, they can’t get me to shut up. Not until either have to or force myself to.

[alienfirstblogsstuff]

I don’t really have a proper blog space for longer bits of writing, so forgive me tumblr, Critical Role has their 100th episode today, and try as I am not to, I am emotional. Here’s some words. A lot of words. I’m-so-sorry-I-rambled amount of words.

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I have no new fancy art for today, so here’s some words instead. I’m writing this before I go and teach a couple art classes, so it’ll go up, and then I get to fret for the few hours after if I overshared or said something off. Oh well!

I think shared stories are important. Movies and TV and comics and all of that. We share in the experience and it’s amazing. Then we have games. Games that you can directly experience with another person and engage with them and just how cool is that? And we have Dungeons & Dragons (and all the other RP games, let me not forget Shadowrun, Numenera and the like, but this IS about a D&D show, so we’ll stick with that for simplicity’s sake). D&D is just this weird beast of a thing where you can shape a story with a group of people and make something that all of you own. It just astounds me that we can do that, and it’s fun, and now we’re sharing it even further with chat and video. Holy cow. Honestly, D&D has always read to me as oddly personal. Your character, your story. To now have people online streaming their games on a weekly, bi-weekly, once a month, etc basis? That’s intense. That’s an intensity I am impressed and so thankful for. Thank you to everyone who shares their stories, in whatever way that happens. You’re tearing a little bit off of something you made, and giving it to strangers. That takes a certain strength that you should be commended for.

Anyway! We have Critical Role. Which I happened upon because a couple people on my Twitter feed would just start shouting nonsense on Thursdays and I figured I should look into it so I know at least why they’re shouting. Aaaaand… I was hooked. I blew through the backlog fast (the advantages of doing art for a living: I get to watch movies and shit while I work). I remember having one ear bud in while I watched on my laptop, while also having an eye on the TV as my husband watched Daredevil on Netflix. But, I mean, how could I watch new Daredevil episodes when I was in the MIDDLE of the Briarwood arc??? I MEAN SERIOUSLY. (My husband would later nod his head in understanding after he got hooked and blasted through the past episodes of Critical Role.) I don’t even remember my first live show. I could probably look through my twitter history and find out, but hey, we’re here now, and that’s what matters.

I don’t know where else to go with this, as I can’t say that Critical Role changed my life or anything. What I can say is this: the compassion from the cast and the fans is astounding. Look at this group of people share a personal story they have built together with all of us. All of us TOTAL STRANGERS. Look at us total strangers chat and cheer each other on over the live shows, creative endeavors, or even just real life happenings. How can you not get emotional over that?

Okay, let’s get personal. Sure, Critical Role didn’t change my life. But, I got to start playing D&D again. I got a handful of friends and family into the show and now we get excited together over it. I got my husband into the show, and now he gets to sass me about my affection for Percy. Critical Role timed itself perfectly in my life to pick up the creative threads I was dropping as my Pacific Rim hype died down. On Pacific Rim I COULD write an essay about how it changed my life, but that would take far more space and far more words. Pacific Rim was the first time I really became involved online and with other fans. It was intense and I gained new friends, I grew as an artist, I learned better the type of aesthetic and style I like (and also that tentacles and bioluminescent things are VERY COOL). I still love Pacific Rim. It holds a very very special place in my heart (right below Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), so I was understandably a bit subdued as it slowly faded (never truly leaving, mind you). And here comes Critical Role to smack me in the side of the face. It was WONDERFUL. Pacific Rim helped me with art direction, and Critical Role picked it up and kept pulling me along. And really, how could it not? Matthew Mercer is an amazing storyteller, and the imagery he weaves every week is a boon to an artist. And the players? Each of those lovely people brings an attitude and a face that just melds and bounces off Matt’s exposition in equal measure. Just as I wouldn’t have drawn Pacific Rim if it didn’t have del Toro’s unique visual style (again, insert some essay here about how Guillermo del Toro helped along a bit of an awakening in this artist’s heart), I don’t think I’d have drawn anything Critical Role without the personality and presence that Matt, Laura, Liam, Travis, Ashley, Sam, Marisha, Taliesin, and all those charismatic guests bring to the table. (And also, let’s shout back to that bit about these stories being personal, and how daunting it is to come back every week and share these characters and world with us. Little bits of creative soul that we get a chance to see!)

I keep drawing because of Critical Role and all these bits of media that I enjoy. I keep drawing because not only are they inspirational, but the fans and friends I’ve made along the way are a constant uplifting presence. Not all the credit can go to the cast. I’ve met (online and in real life) so many amazing and kind people. And when I get down, when it’s a bad brain day, all of that helps so much.

I have no idea how to end this, so how about a super personal note? Because while I admire all the cast, I just really have to extend an extra bit of that for Taliesin. I have always been the quiet bookish one in my family (that I remember; my mom says I was a chatterbox as a child, but that must’ve been before social anxiety socked me good). I felt like I didn’t make friends easy, and up until college, I really felt the odd man out with my interests. Even now, I feel awkward and sometimes ashamed of things I enjoy or do. Seeing Taliesin and how open and unashamed he is with his interests is… I don’t know how to properly explain, but it’s an immense help in some weird way. I turn 32 in a few days, and you know, you get a lot of “you’ll grow out of that” and “why are you still into that” and it is so so tiring and so hurtful, and you feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with you. I guess, hey Taliesin, thanks for being a person to not-really-say-but-sort-of that there’s nothing wrong with me.

Here’s to more stories and more friends and more art. To the creators and the fans. Be lovely and be kind. And most of all, keep sharing your stories.

[elegantreviewfury]

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