#sir dwight x gretta the besieged

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Dwight: The nonviolent approach is probably better here. Gretta: I was not going to use violence. I do not always use violence...Do I? Dwight:.......... Gretta:.......... Dwight: The important thing is you believe that.

[whogirl2011]

OMG the little thumb rub for reassurance because they're together again. I'm MELTING.

You cannot tell me your boy doesn't start using physical touch as a love language!

[psychicbluebirdmiracle]

Watch "Soldier Poet King by The Oh Hellos [Dwight in Shining Armor]" on YouTube

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight, the voice of reason & only one with a brain cell: Please, I’m begging you, go to a doctor. Gretta, clutching her stomach: I’m sorry, is this our stab wound? Stay out of it!

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Chlodwig, about to give some really bad advice: When I was your age- Dwight & Gretta's Daughter: When you were my age you wanted to marry your cousin. Take a step back.

[incorrectdisa]

"Babe, you’ve destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy’s nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early."

- Dwight, to Gretta

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Jacopo: I have the urge to do something dumb. Chlodwig: I'm dumb. Do me. Gretta: *stares* Dwight: *stares* Baldric: *stares* Hexela: *stares & munches popcorn* Chlodwig: ....Did I say that out loud?

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Dwight, to his daughter: So you're 15 and you want to go out with a senior?

Gretta: Is he not too old for you?

Daughter, looking between her parents with a 1,000+ year age-gap: You sure you want to play that game?

Dwight:

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Baldric: You lost a lot of blood and passed out. Do you remember anything, Your Highness? Gretta: Only the ride to the hospital in the emergency vehicle. Nana: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you. Gretta: But I heard the alarm noise. Baldric: That was Dwight. Dwight: I was WORRIED!

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Gretta: Sir Dwight is no longer my Champion. Dwight: GRETTA THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE ENGAGED!

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Chlodwig: Your new shirt look great, Sir Dwight. Dwight: Thanks, Chlodwig. Chlodwig: I bet they would look better on Gretta's floor, though. Dwight:... Gretta: Are you hitting on Sir Dwight...for me, Chlodwig?

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Chlodwig: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Gretta: I'm a knife. Dwight, from across the room: She's the little spoon.

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Gretta: I do not trust any event where hitting someone isn't an option. Dwight: You're not a battering ram, Gretta. Gretta: I am when it suits me.

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Dwight: How do you feel about children? Gretta: They’re okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at it. Dwight: Wh-why would you throw a rock at a child?! Gretta: I just said I wouldn’t!

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Dwight: That's it? One thing doesn't go your way and your solution is to give up? Gretta: I'm not giving up!...But, on an unrelated note, I'm never leaving my bed again.

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Baldric: Well, if you'll excuse us, my lady fair and I are gonna go inside and, um... have brunch. Hexela: We're not having brunch. Dwight: Ohhh, kill me. Gretta: *gagging noises*