#sir dwight x gretta the besieged

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight: The nonviolent approach is probably better here. Gretta: I was not going to use violence. I do not always use violence...Do I? Dwight:.......... Gretta:.......... Dwight: The important thing is you believe that.

[whogirl2011]

OMG the little thumb rub for reassurance because they're together again. I'm MELTING.

You cannot tell me your boy doesn't start using physical touch as a love language!

[psychicbluebirdmiracle]

Watch "Soldier Poet King by The Oh Hellos [Dwight in Shining Armor]" on YouTube

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight, to his daughter: So you're 15 and you want to go out with a senior?

Gretta: Is he not too old for you?

Daughter, looking between her parents with a 1,000+ year age-gap: You sure you want to play that game?

Dwight:

[incorrectdisa]

Baldric: You lost a lot of blood and passed out. Do you remember anything, Your Highness? Gretta: Only the ride to the hospital in the emergency vehicle. Nana: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you. Gretta: But I heard the alarm noise. Baldric: That was Dwight. Dwight: I was WORRIED!

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight: How do you feel about children? Gretta: They’re okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at it. Dwight: Wh-why would you throw a rock at a child?! Gretta: I just said I wouldn’t!

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight: That's it? One thing doesn't go your way and your solution is to give up? Gretta: I'm not giving up!...But, on an unrelated note, I'm never leaving my bed again.

[incorrectdisa]

Baldric: Well, if you'll excuse us, my lady fair and I are gonna go inside and, um... have brunch. Hexela: We're not having brunch. Dwight: Ohhh, kill me. Gretta: *gagging noises*

[incorrectdisa]

Chlodwig: You’re not my mother. Dwight: I don’t act that way. What do you think, Gretta? Do I act like a mom? Gretta: Well... Dwight: Stop rubbing your eye and speak clearly when you talk. Gretta: Yes, Mom.

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight: We're going to a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere? Gretta: Yes, so? Dwight: So, it's like the coed checking out the strange noise in the basement in a slasher pic. It's a recipe for disaster!

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight, sometime in the future: Should I be concerned about the obvious delight our daughter takes in all of the ultra violence? Gretta, patting their daughter's head: It’s genetic. Dwight: Great. . .

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight: The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Gretta: Where do you even get this stuff? Dwight: I have a desk calendar.

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight: Woah. Time out. There is nothing going on between me and Gretta. Sir Aldred: Nothing? Dwight: Nothing! Sir Aldred: Then why were you so threatened by my arrival? Dwight: I don’t know. Maybe cause you’re clearly a master swordsman!!! Chlodwig: Denial.

[incorrectdisa]

Baldric: Where is Sir Dwight? Gretta: HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! Baldric: ...I never said he was? Gretta: Oh. Haha, awkward...

[incorrectdisa]

Dwight: You do realize that stunt you pulled defines "out of control"? Gretta: I just wanted you to see that I would never put any of you at risk if I wasn't willing to take the same chances myself. Dwight: I love how you think that's comforting.

[incorrectdisa]

"Hi, pretty Dwight! Oh, you're so pretty. But not just your face, your brain! It's like your beautiful brain exploded all over your face."

- Gretta, thoroughly concussed