#dwight in shining armor incorrect quotes

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Chlodwig: I swear on Sir Dwight's and my cousin's lives I am a straight man Dwight: HELP I CANT BREATH, TELL NANA I LOVE HER! Gretta: The light...its getting closer... Dwiht: MY HEART I THINK ITS FAILING! Gretta: If I knew I was gonna die today I would've bullied Chlodwig more

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Dwight: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword. Gretta: I know. That’s why I carry two swords.

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Dwight: Never have I ever been handcuffed Nana: *drinks* Gretta: You've been arrested? Nana: That wasn't the question Dwight: *chokes*

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Gretta: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Dwight, smiling dopily: You are my reward.

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Chlodwig: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Jacopo: Yeah, you’re a real bitch sometimes.

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"If they run out of muffins before I get to the bakery, I'm going to be on the friggin' news."

- Dwight, sleep deprived because his and Gretta's newborn daughter will not just go to sleep already oh my god

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Hexela: I have an excellent memory. Name one time I forgot something. Gretta: You left me in the parking lot three weeks ago. Hexela: I did that on purpose, darling. Try again.

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Chlodwig: Cousin, I've been thinking- Gretta: Oh, that's what that burning smell was.

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"The hottest thing a man can be is a little bit afraid of me."

- Hexela

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Jacopo: Why don't you go cry about it? Chlodwig, huffing: Nice try idiot I already did that!

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Dwight, very nervous: Do you have any idea what else might be down there? Gretta, bouncing slightly and ready to fight: Doesn't matter. There are only four rules you need to remember: make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan. Follow my lead and you'll be fine.

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Baldric: Come! We must develop a plan of attack! Dwight: Baldric! When have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose!

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Dwight: Chlodwig! Have you no dignity? Chlodwig: Of course not! How long have we known each other?

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Dwight: Hey, how would you like your coffee? Chlodwig: As dark and bitter as my soul. Dwight, tired of his nonsense: One glass of milk coming up.

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Baldric: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? Gretta: It takes a screenshot. Dwight: I’ve told you a million times, that is NOT how it works!

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Gretta: I brought weapons as well. Dwight: What do you mean, weapons? Gretta, pulling a bundle from her coat and unrolling it, revealing many large knives: These weapons. Dwight: Jesus! Let's keep them covered up. Couldn't you get anything bigger? Gretta, pulling out a big machete: What, like this? What do you think? Dwight: I think you need help.

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Gretta: Good job gays, let’s go! Chlodwig, looking between himself and Jacapo: Uh… You mean “guys”, right? Dwight: Did she stutter?