#dwightinshiningarmour

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Dwight: Hey, how would you like your coffee? Chlodwig: As dark and bitter as my soul. Dwight, tired of his nonsense: One glass of milk coming up.

[psychicbluebirdmiracle]

Watch "Soldier Poet King by The Oh Hellos [Dwight in Shining Armor]" on YouTube

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Guy Chlodwig Owes Money: I thought I told you to not bring any back up. Chlodwig: I didn't. Friend of Guy Chlodwig Owes Money: Who's that behind you then? Chlodwig: Oh, him? He's not back up. He's my emotional support Brother in Guy Club. I bring him along on dangerous situations so he can see how awesome I am. Dwight: *Waves*

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Dwight: Gretta, please keep an eye on Chlodwig today. He's gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched. Gretta: Sure, I'd love to see Chlodwig get punched. Dwight: Try again. Gretta, with a deep sigh: I will stop Chlodwig from getting punched.

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Chlodwig: Are you thinking what I am thinking, Sir Dwight? Dwight: I will bet every penny I have that I'm not.

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Dwight: What are your future plans? Chlodwig: Lunch. Dwight: I meant long term plans. Chlodwig: You mean like dinner?

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Dwight: I am lost for words! Chlodwig, whispering to Gretta: Despite being lost for words, he's been yelling at me for 10 minutes.

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Jacopo: Please know how deeply I hate you. Chlodwig: I'm so flattered.

thank you @dwightinshiningarmorfan for the submission!

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Gretta: What's the first thing you notice when a man approaches you? Hexela: The audacity.

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Dwight: Who the broke the toaster? Gretta: It was Chlodwig. Hexela: It was Chlodwig. Baldric: Prince Chlodwig broke it. Chlodwig: ...yOU PROMISED-

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Chlodwig: Cousin! I have found a foolproof method of determining if someone is truly evil. Gretta: Which is? Chlodwig: If they dislike Sir Dwight, they are evil. Gretta, nodding her head in agreement: Yes that makes perfect sense. Then we kill them.

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Sir Aldred: Murder was not, unfortunately, on today’s agenda. Dwight: It’s not on anyone’s! Sir Aldred: No, it’s on mine, just not until next Thursday.

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Chlodwig: Do not panic for I am in charge! Dwight: That’s why I’m panicking!

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Dwight: Hey, Baldric? I need some dating advice. Baldric: Just because I’m married to Hexela doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

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Jacopo: I have the urge to do something dumb. Chlodwig: I'm dumb. Do me. Gretta: *stares* Dwight: *stares* Baldric: *stares* Hexela: *stares & munches popcorn* Chlodwig: ....Did I say that out loud?