#since they literally do not even have a concept of how badly they're all being manipulated yet D:
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Hello! I just wanted to say I ADORE your writing, I love your poly luke and jace x reader stories and/or headcanons. They're amazing! I was wondering if it would be okay if you could write headcanons for both jace and Luke together with a pregnant reader? Like how they would both react to you telling them and then how the both of them would act throughout your pregnancy? It's fine if not :) 🩷
— ☆ amira speaks : OMG MY LOVE THANK YOU SO MUCH I SWEAR I GUSHED SO BADLY AT YOUR MESSAGE 😭😭❤ I absolutely loved this request, and hope you enjoy your reading !! 💕
: ̗̀➛ Okay so, since you're in a polyamorous relationship with both Jace and Luke it's quite obvious that you've already had intimacy with both of them at the same time.
: ̗̀➛ And considering that you've been bedded by both of them quite some times it's no surprise that you'd end up getting pregnant.
: ̗̀➛ Of course, you'd be a bit nervous of telling them the news and would even hesitate briefly in doing so, but when you do, they would be completely surprised with the news.
: ̗̀➛ They would be both completely paralysed for a few seconds, trying to process the situation. You'd be a bit nervous at seeing their lack of response, but when fully they get to process what you're telling them, they'd be over the moon.
: ̗̀➛ Obviously you'll have the two boys in a sickeningly sweetly manner clinging to you, yet, in a carefully as to not hurt you or anything — absolutely gushing like two girlies at the fact that you're carrying their child.
: ̗̀➛ Please expect to be showered in love and kisses after you tell them you're pregnant. The tightest of cuddles, and an immense amount of kisses to prove how happy they are to be fathers to your child. Seriously, SAYING THEY'RE OVER THE MOON IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
: ̗̀➛ The one that would mostly be nervous about how his parenting skills will be and how he's going to be as a father is Lucerys, but overall he's tremendously joyful to start a family with you.
: ̗̀➛ Jace on the other hand would be 100% more delicate and gentle around you than he already usually is. And rather than being nervous like Luke is, he'd be determinated to feed himself with more information about how to properly father a child.
: ̗̀➛ If Rhaenyra is aware of your polyamorous relationship, don't be surprised if both boys often reach her to inquire for recommendations and parenting advice such as: how to treat you properly, what things to be aware of during and after pregnancy, some basic concepts on how to parent a newborn, etc.
: ̗̀➛ Both boys would be 24/7 focused on you throughout your entire pregnancy. Even if they are still commited to their duties as future King and future Lord rightfully, they would occasionally take more breaks from their lessons than usual simply to be by your side and make sure all your needs are met.
: ̗̀➛ Literally, they always ask you whether you need/crave something or not so they can send you a servant or maiden to provide you with whatever thing you need. They'll always be making sure you have whatever you wish, and makes you feel the most comfortable.
: ̗̀➛ ^ Basically always making sure you know they are there for you no matter what! Especially in such an important moment as your pregnancy.
: ̗̀➛ Expect them to always have their heads resting on your shoulders after a long, tiring day of responsabilities, and their hands all over your stomach whispering how delighted they are to be awaiting for your child.
: ̗̀➛ I kind of feel like when it comes to swordtraining they'll take the lessons even more seriously than they already do, because now not only they have to protect you at all costs, but the child you will now have with both of them.
: ̗̀➛ Would they talk to their babe inside your stomach? Ofc they would. Probably a bit while you're asleep. And occasionally, you'd wake up to them whispering and caressing your stomach happily.
: ̗̀➛ During labour they would just be freaking out, entirely. They would both be by your side holding your hand and allowing you to have a tight grip on them, and would constantly fill your face with kisses as they delicately tuck some strands of your sweaty hair behind your ear along with some sweet words of comfort.
: ̗̀➛ Jace would try to have a more calm persona in the moment even if he's nervous for everything to go well during the birth, but he'll be entirely focused on your well being, and making sure the maidens help you properly to deliver the child.
: ̗̀➛ Luke on the other hand is visibly freaking out, without hiding it. He'll desperately kiss your face and knuckles, kind of yelling — not really, just rushing — at the maidens and servants to hurry and not keep you bearing with too much pain.
: ̗̀➛ But overall everything goes well, and the second they get to admire the sight of you sweetly and lovingly holding their child on your arms, they would just kind of melt with love right there.
: ̗̀➛ And obviously they'll keep clinging to you — even more — after birth because they are just so delighted and proud of their family that they need to endlessly prove to you they'll be the best fathers they can be to your babe <333
♡ taglist : ♡
@damatheirin @jacesvelaryons @jjamieberry @anemicroyalcore @countsmoon @tickle-euphoria @beeebo234 @manuholland6 @capellaadara @kyuupidwrites @tchatso @dopepersonacloudllama @phantasyy @chompchompluke @tasty-nutella @mstxdes @valeriecash @cookielovesbook-akie
#lucerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys x reader x lucerys#jacaerys velaryon x reader x lucerys velaryon#hotd x reader#house of the dragon x reader#hotd headcanons#hotd imagine#house of the dragon imagine#house of the dragon headcanons
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Murder Sibling Tuu
🐱
So concept
Yuu is the eldest and comes from a HUGE family with lots of siblings that are part of criminal legacy. Literally all of them are some sort of mafia boss, assassin, drug lord, or bank robber except for Yuu.
This isn't because Yuu hates it, nope its just not their thing. Their little siblings always go to Yuu for ideas on their next murder/heist/ect and they always give the best advice ever despite not being a criminal.
When they get isekaied, they didn't know that their family also came with until its too late.
Let's say they're dating Floyd since that was the original context. Under cut cause length
It's Vargas camp and as things come to a close there's another attack, the masked person overpowers Vargas and locks onto a group.of Yuus friends, chasing the first Years, Riddle, Malleus, Jade and Floyd.
The others scatter, just to get stuck in (non lethal) traps to be picked off later. The killer is smart and though Malleus is powerful he is outwitted when he caught in magic resistant trap— this damn killer was PLANNING it.
Floyd and the group fight back. But they are all beat up pretty bad, thankfully, there is no stab marks as the psychopath seems to be dragging this out for their enjoyment.
As they kick Floyd onto the ground as they spill the first drop of blood of the night as the killer slashes them and leaves a "superficial", but concerning wound on Floyds abdomen.
Jade screams out at his brother in horror, show more emotion than he ever has in this damn life, despite where he's trapped, he risks blot and shoots out a simple spell at the killers head just for them to dodge.
"You want to see my face that badly?" The voice was filled with a sickeningly honeyed tone of amusement. "I guess that's fair since I intend to kill you... may as well let you see who killed you."
"You wont get away with this!" Sebek shrieks. The killer takes off the mask just to see... Yuu?
"Yuu? No...nonono not my shrimpy... why?! Why would you—"
"Wait wait wait. Did you say Yuu? How the fuck do you know that name?" The killer asks but something was off, this wasn't yuus voice.
Just then Yuu comes out and slide in front of Floyd protectively, ready to fight before freezing.
"TUU?!"
"Yuu?! Oh God, oh shit. Don't tell me these are your friends..."
"You stabbed my fucking boyfriend!"
"Fuck! Sorry I didn't know— oh geez...." Tuu facepalms. "Hold on, I actually have a few healing potions..."
"Um... can you explain???" Riddle wheeze.
"Everyone this one of my my Octuplets, Tuu."
"OCTUPLET??" Sebek shrieks.
"Yeah that's not even all my siblings either, don't ask I lost count"
"Damn I'm sorry about that everyone, I would have never attacked if I knew Yuu was here. But dammit, I had it all planned out and everything! I would kill off some of you and leave your bodies out so that others would warn of this place and bam! A buncha idiots would explore and I get to practice my assassinations and murder techniques! Can't believe I wasted all that time though now....".
"Wait, Yuu why aren't you surprised?" Ace gawks
"Oh big sibling Yuu over here is weird. Literally everyone in our family's a murderer EXCEPT yuu which is suprising since they always have the best ideas for maiming!" Tuu giggles
"Wait... if your here does that mean—" a new voice interrupts Yuu
"Sort of! I assume our entire family is out in this new world but we haven't all been able to find each other. Thankfully, me and Tuu happened to be summoned together!"
"Who the fuck is that?!" Jack barks
"That's Kyu." Kyu stands proudly in their formal attire that's decades old as they twirl a cigar.
"Why didn't you reach out to me? I know Tuu is to busy murdering things but I know for a fact you knew where I was. Im the oldest! You report to me!" yuu scolds
"You're older by 10 minutes." Tuu interrupts as they pour the potion on Floyd.
"Shut up!"
Kyu shrugs. "I'm building a criminal empire."
"What" Deuce blinks.
"I said im building a criminal empire. I was the leader of several mafias and other organized gangs back in my world and now its back to square one! I need my underlings I'm not just gonna light my own cigars now, cmon!"
"That sounds like Kyu alright..." Yuu sighs.
"Plus then I'll be able to magically enroll our whole family into NRC just with a little blackmail as we learn about this world!"
"Crowleys pathetic you don't need a criminal empire you just need 5 dollars" Epel sighs.
"Perhaps." Kyuu shrugs again and takes a puff. "But having an interdimensional drug empire once we find away home is an opportunity I must not let pass by. Speaking of which, give me your phone, Yuu."
Yuu hands over the phone to Kyu. "Now you should be able to contact us and I'll keep you updated once I find the whole family. Oh yeah, be sure to send pictures of all your friends to the group chat along with their full names so we know who not to kill, maim, target—"
"I get it." Yuu sighs before helping Floyd up. "I love you guys but damn!"
"You love th—" Ace covers Deuces mouth.
"Sorry Floydie!" Tuu chuckles cuteley. "I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us! Oh just forget about this encounter! I can't wait to meet you when Yuu brings you home for dinner!" Tuu waves
"Eat shit." Floyd huffs. "Awe you're adorable, just take good care of Yuu! If you break their heart ill slaughter you like the damn animal you are!~" tuu practially sings
"Yuu can do that on their own." "But they won't that's the issue"
Tuu sighs again. "Now im gonna have to release everyone from their traps now ueueueu... there were so many boys with such wearable skin! I already had the suit planned out for when I got them!" Tuu mopes.
"Right just tell our parents—" "bosses" "tell our bosses i love them and to please take it easy with all the murder please."
"No promises Yuuie!~ bye bye!~" Tuu cackles and they run off into the woods and Ryu dissapears
The rest of the night is Yuu profusely apologizing and having to skirt around questions for legal reasons
And also
"Why are all of you named Yuu or something similar"
"My bosses named the second oldest Tuu. Do you really think they're good with names?"
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Hey, for the playlist ask thingy, what about:
What Peter would listen to
Remus trying to find a job
What you think the weird sisters would sound like if they existed
send me a playlist prompt!
Omg sorry it took me a billion years to get to this. The problem with making playlists is that there is basically an infinite number of songs in the world and I'm always like, well maybe there's a better song out there that I haven't heard yet and I should listen to just one more song/album/artist/etc. But that's the devil speaking. Anyway these prompts were so fun and I really really enjoyed them :-) also I wrote SO much
First up is Peter! I already have a Peter playlist (it's kinda on the silly side, aka it's rat-themed), but for this, I tried to focus more on what he would listen to, rather than songs that describe him (or rats). Since Peter is evidently very impressed by showy, tasteless displays of masculinity (aka James and Sirius), I imagined he would listen to – PROGRESSIVE ROCK! Prog rock at its best is like, really incredible musicianship and composition, and if you can buy into the drama it can be really good. But at its worst, it's just tasteless and pretentious and you're like, wow these musicians are so far up their own asses that they can't even tell that their extremely technically impressive guitar solo sounds like garbage, and also did they even listen to these lyrics, cuz they suck. And I went for specifically, like, late-70s-early-80s prog rock, when it started to get really overproduced and bad. Sorry I just kind of reamed prog rock in this paragraph I swear I legitimately like it… You can only hate something this much if you're intimately familiar with it. I should also note that I chose some of these songs for their lyrics ("The Logical Song" and "The Very Last Time" both are REALLY great songs for Peter's personality and friendship with James, respectively) and some of them are even good. They're not all bad. But they're mostly bad. Anyway! Please enjoy my garbage!
Track list:
Supertramp - The Logical Song: "The questions run too deep / For such a simple man / Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned / I know it sounds absurd / Please tell me who I aaaam!!!"
Utopia - The Very Last Time: I love you Todd Rundgren. "Nobody sees how you treat me like dirt / Nobody knows just how badly a man can hurt [....] It's the very last time you will get on my case / It's the very last time 'cause I won't be a fool no more!"
Yes - Roundabout: this song is literally good
Rush - New World Man: man I hate Rush. But this is rather tolerable. "He's old enough to know what's right / But young enough not to choose it / He's noble enough to win the world / But weak enough to lose it / He's a new world man"
Yes - Parallels: sucks
Kansas - Point of Know Return: sucks
Asia - Heat of the Moment: sucks but it's a classic
Yes - Leave It: sucks even more than the last Yes song, which is really saying something
Electric Light Orchestra - The Way Life's Meant to Be: We're ending on a good note imo. They don't make concept albums about time travel like they used to! But really I put this on here because it made me giggle. "...I wish I was back in 1981 / Just to see your face instead of this place / Now I know what you mean to me / Ooh, and I wonder, yes I wonder / Is this the way life's meant to be?" lol. lmao even
Ok onto music that is good!
Next prompt was Remus trying to find a job! Gah I adored this prompt! That being said I kind of just made the saddest playlist ever LOL. I'm really fascinated by the time in Remus's life between the Potters' deaths and his employment at Hogwarts. Wtf did he do all those years? How did he get by? Since this playlist is about that time in his life, it's full of songs about the meaninglessness of life and just generally feeling lonely and empty and disconnected. And also working. FUN. Again I admittedly poached a lot of songs on here from my (very bloated and unfinished) Remus playlist. As far as genre goes, I like the idea of Remus having a pretty eclectic taste. But I tend to lean towards things that are lo-fi, scrappy, and less polished, as well as things that are a little jangly or jazzy (basically what I'm saying is that The Cleaners from Venus are theeee Remus band of all time). I'm going to try to restrain myself with the commentary this time
Track list:
Yo La Tengo - Everyday: One of the most depressing songs of all time imo. "Looking to forget tomorrow, looking everyday." Yeowch!
The Cleaners from Venus - Wivenhoe Bells (II): Like I said the Remus band of all time to me. Jangly, jazzy, lo-fi, + incredibly catchy songs about everyday English life
Even As We Speak - Nothing Ever Happens
Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues
Pavement - Here: "I was dressed for success / But success, it never comes" 👍
The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now: obviously
Nick Drake - Been Smoking Too Long
Galaxie 500 - Cold Night
The Dismemberment Plan - Come Home: The more I listen to these guys, the more I'm convinced that they're one of the best bands ever, as well as being the rare math rock band with good lyrics. Very literary.
Mount Eerie - Moon, I Already Know: I can recite this whole thing like some devastating prayer. Remus song of all time. Moon, I already know I'm small on the ground I roll around and feel menacing mountains And all depths of sorrow dwarf me All towering terrors are mine to cower below I know, I know, I know already So don't look at me like that and then Duck behind clouds I know I'm small and that I have no idea I know, I know, I know Let me be dumb again Let food drip off my chin Let me think you're a light Please please let me sleep through the night unknowing Let me close eyes. Ok I'm gonna throw up and die
Ok this was probably the most difficult prompt for me – I really had no idea what The Weird Sisters would sound like. But if there's any area of music that I'm familiar with, it's mediocre 90s alternative rock, so let's get to it. In the movie, The Weird Sisters are made up of members of Pulp (hi, Jarvis Cocker) and Radiohead, so I decided to start there. And I think Britpop is a natural place to start for a UK band that was big in the 90s. But I wasn't really feeling it with the usual culprits – Pulp was too sweeping and dramatic... I thought Oasis would be more "rock," but frankly, they were just too annoying. I wanted something a little more power pop (a genre that I can only describe as sounding like Disney TV show theme songs. Or, like, Stacy's Mom). And while tapping through related artists for small Britpop bands I've never heard of, I came across the song "1 Time, 2 Times Devastated," and I was like – THIS IS IT. Exactly the kind of mediocre 90s rock/power pop that I was looking for. (Also sorry that I keep saying mediocre I just can't imagine that The Weird Sisters are very good LMFAO! Idk wizards have not convinced me that they have a cool youth culture! Sorry bout it!) Other than that, I thought "Girl From Mars" by Ash was also a good fit. The rest of the playlist is mostly early Radiohead songs (they've got that Britpop feel, but they're a little messier and unpolished. And solidly mediocre) and the more up-tempo Supergrass songs (there's this sort of bouncy piano + drum thing they do that I quite like).
Track list:
DM3 - 1 Time, 2 Times Devastated
Ash - Girl from Mars
Radiohead - Just
Cud - Robinson Crusoe
Supergrass - Tonight
Radiohead - Anyone Can Play Guitar
Supergrass - Moving
The Stems - At First Sight
Radiohead - Thinking About You
Supergrass - Richard III
Anyway this was probably more specific than anyone would ever want but idk man. What I lack in media taste (what with my enjoyment of Harry Potter and other mediocre children's media) I make up for in, um, media taste (pretentious music nerd).
Thank you so much for the ask. Please send me more music asks I beg. There's like a 20 business day turnaround but like, I love making playlists, and getting to infodump about music is literally my dream. I hope you enjoy the playlists :-)
#please if you actually listen to any of these lmk what you think!!!!#asks#hp playlist#hp#harry potter#hp fandom#peter pettigrew#remus lupin#mwpp#marauders era#the weird sisters#my playlists#my posts
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I finally got around to reading chapter two of Prince's Consort!
I really enjoy how you write Dabi's religious guilt in this one. At least for the other sins, indulging in them is something he needs to convince himself to do. At least those he actually knows from when he was a human. But lust is such a new concept to him, something so new and overpowering that it scares him. I really like how conflicted he is on everything.
Shigaraki is so patient with him (as patient as he can afford to be, as the prince of wrath). Is the situation good? No, not at all. But they really are making something out of it (i would say "making the best out of it" but that might be a lie).
"Little one" makes an appearance again! (It's kinda ridiculous how much attention I pay to if this is used since the alien fic).
I wonder where Shigaraki lets out his wrath? Because he makes an effort to not let it out on Dabi, despite being able to. Sure, he indulges, but not as badly as how he has shown to be able to. Hmmmm.
"He had never been held by anyone in his life." Dabi, everything I learn about your life as a human just makes me sad. And I think hating the church is a very understandable reaction, actually.
Okay, but Shigaraki calling Dabi's cold baths beyond sin is very funny actually.
Love love love the worldbuilding with Everlasting. I don't think Dabi actually believes he'd have a chance of staying there, even at this point, but it would be nice to be able to see his family again, wouldn't it. Oh well, guess he has to help Shigaraki overthrow the King and then see if there is a way. (This is a joke, I know the story isn't about that, lol)
"Shigaraki has, apparently, decided that he has also earned 'pretty'" Okay, but he thinks that of Dabi in every story. Dabi is just a very pretty guy.
I really like how much worldbuilding goes into this! Shigaraki has hurt more demons than mortals but he has caused a lot of harm in general and yet he's also so soft? I love the festival, and how you explain everything and ahhhh. Very nice.
So so much culture in this one!
Ooh, I think that Dabi and Shigaraki's shades appeared in the hall, didn't they? And Toga was kind of expecting it, that's why she immediately came running. I can't wait for Dabi to meet all of them for real.
"You look lovely like this." "Drunk?" "Smiling." My heart can't take this. How can they be so cute in a situation like this??
They're both drunk (though Dabi more so) and Shigaraki still waits for Dabi to tell him he wants him to fuck him and when he doesn't, he doesn't fuck him on his dick. It's just. I mean, it's the most basic form of respect but the fact that it's there is very nice.
Yay! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!!
Dabi is so conflicted in this one, constantly struggling with the fact he knows he needs to turn if he wants to get his revenge, but having his own very strong ties to the church and religion he's believed in his entire life. It makes it so hard for him to just give in and dealing with the lust only makes it even worse!
Shig really is trying to make this and easier transition for Dabi, which is extremely out of the norm for demons, though Dabi isn't aware of this yet (and why Shigaraki is doing that may be something we explore later 👀). But yeah, they're just sort of figuring it out as best they can
"Little one" is now on my list of favorite pet names and I cannot be stopped!
We are going to see where Shig let's loose in later chapters, so look forward to that!!
Dabi's life fucking sucked, most people's lives fucking suck if they dedicate themselves to the church. My inspiration was to create a very puritanical culture where the church literally has magic to stop people from enjoying things and oh boy was it working to plan
Toga was definitely expecting them to make am appearance and they did indeed as shades themselves in the great hall! I'm excited for Dabi to me the rest of them properly!
They are still cute because I can't help myself! Tho Shig wasn't drunk at all during that scene, some fun world building that Dabi won't become aware of until after his transition is that demons can only get intoxicated by indulging too heavily in their sin when they have their aspect, Shig drinks for the taste, which is why there's always a variety of alcohol for him at meals!
Thank you so much for commenting and I can't wait to share future chapters!
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i would just like to SPECIFY and go into a bit of detail about what each thing actually means:
this may not seem so bad, but when i mean they will comment on anything, i mean anything. it doesnt have to be marauder-related. it doesn’t even need to be related to harry potter. i saw a tiktok on a gorilla eating a banana and someone deadass commented “thats cool and stan james potter 😝” and lord FORBID if you include anything with snape in it. want to make an edit of him? backlash. want to talk about how you like him because hes interestingly written? backlash. want to deconstruct his character due to how badly fanon twisted him and actually analyse him? “anyways stan james potter” may be the dominant response to that, just so you know.
“sirius would never say that about mary!” said the marauder fan, heartbroken. “canon sirius would hate himself in atyd!” i respond usually with “canon sirius is a white boy in the 70s, hes not the ‘slay feminist yass 😍’ king you think he is.” this elicits quite a plethora of negative reactions, and i understand why. misogyny is stinky, no one wants their favourite character to be acting like that. so this option doesn't mean "fans who like a characterisation of sirius black that isn't necessarily time period realistic," but rather "fans who deny canon evidence for a fanon conception and then hate on things that expand on the canon evidence provided to them." "they are wizards, which isn't realistic, but you choose the time period misogyny as a hill to die on?" the marauder fan replied to me (and im quite literally quoting on what a creator said to me, this isn't an exaggeration). meanwhile canon sirius black: *harrasses snape for dressing more femininely/more outside gender norms* yeah and you think that boy would be a feminist...
you may think to yourself: when did [insert ship] become a thing? why is this happening? who even is this person? most of the time, it's all in good fun, sometimes, however, ships are created that purely contradict the entire point of said character. snily was criticised for doing exactly this, and now look at where we are.
after reading these points, you may come to the conclusion: holy shit the problem is just marauders fans. in fact, you may take it one more and remember more shit that had occurred due to this sub fandom of the harry potter universe. ever been criticised for not characterising purely fanon (dorcas, marlene etc etc) characters properly? ever been attacked for calling out the hypocritical stanning of barty, evan, regulus and peter whilst piling all blame onto bellatrix or snape? yeah me too babes.
i know we've talked about tiktok a lot, but i raise one more thing: the inescapable hell that is dracotok. this usually consists of those young teenage girls thinking they are very hardcore for participating in death eater practices despite its mirroring of being violent oppressors on a discriminated group so they can impress none other than draco malfoy. this, or they're the badass 'girlboss' that can change him. completely and ironically misunderstanding the point of his character aside, every cringey POV/thirst trap you have EVER seen on tiktok is probably replicated and 10x worse on dracotok.
i swear i haven't heard the term "gryffindork" since 2016, but alas, there has been a comeback. i call hogwarts legacy fans 'baby' hp fans, because i seriously do believe that these people have not interacted with the fandom until now. that would be okay if they weren't regressing everyone to early 2000s discourse. are gryffindors not being invited to ravenclaw, hufflepuff and slytherin raves that deep? no. but those three houses wouldn't be having raves in the first place
we've all seen them, need i explain or go into detail? "b-but harry doesn't have any chemistry with ginny!!" so he does with DRACO of all people? "b-but lily and james are basic!" dont forget the roots from whence you came. its misogyny within the fandom disguised as allyship or whatever the hell this is. ship your ships, but leave the gals alone
this didn't get on my nerves until i suffered from years and years of randoms going into detail about why slytherin/hufflepuff was the best harry potter house and then getting genuine mad when idgaf. maybe you have experienced this tragedy too. there are grown people getting into genuine online beef with others because they made a joke about slytherin being evil or hufflepuff being useless. makes me think you are just evil and useless (just kidding, but please wake up and realise that slytherin & hufflepuff quite literally do not exist)
i sympathise for people who like snape, i do. i do not sympathise for those who attempt to justify or excuse his actions. this normally comes with a side dish of misogyny, because more often than not they will find a way to blame it on lily. other times, they will blame his trauma. i want to be clear: his trauma explains his actions, it doesn't excuse them. that is the whole point of him ruining his chances with lily (not even as a lover, but as a companion). you are doing your own injustice to his character by trying to make him innocent, please stop
it's understandable why the cursed child is so hated. it's meant to be seen, not read, in my opinion. there's a lot of things in it that i too wish didn't exist. but that doesn't make it "not canon" because it upsets you. and of ALL the things that these types of people would choose to complain about, these are the things they chose: albus potter's namesakes (we've been going on about this for years like can we stop now please), harry being a 'bad dad' (think about his own upbringing a tiny bit more and maybe your brain can make a little more sense of his actions), delphi being voldemort's child (probably the only thing that i agree with these people on), and albus' name again because they REALLY hate it (but then they will counter this by saying "james sirius" is a good name, when it's still mid asf). anyway, it doesn't matter how much you squeeze your eyes shut and writhe around about it, the cursed child is canon. soz lol
#i think i want to do another one talking about good things in the fandom but when you think about it the hp fandom is just... bad lowkey#but theres good stuff here too so i guess i'll stay#i could never put this poll on tiktok but i can on tumblr because generally people think more on this app#i still have the vague sense that i could be cancelled for these though#harry potter#cursed child#hpcc#albus severus potter#hermione granger#ron weasley#marauders#anti marauders#sirius black#atyd#all the young dudes#james potter#severus snape#remus lupin#regulus black#lily evans#dorcas meadowes#marlene mckinnon#luna lovegood#hogwarts legacy#bellatrix lestrange#draco malfoy#anti snape#ginny weasley#hinny#drarry
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Hellouu dream!! Good aftermoon! ^^
How are you today?? I hope you are good hihi :3
Sooo.. I have a little question that has been on my mind ever since I saw your art..
•I wanted to know more about the relationship between bellroc and them familiar dragon (I don't know if that's the term...)
•how did bellroc kill him??
•how did he meet this Dragon?
•Skrael already knew about all this??
(I know.. it's more than one question.. but I was curious...) byeeee!!👋👋 have a nice dayyy :3
kitty you are so sweet. thank you for indulging me and my little headcanons; i hope the ramblings that follow were as fun to read as they were to imagine.
what is a familiar? it comes from the same root as "family," but in classical latin familia generally means the *slaves* of a household (hence the english sense, used elsewhere in toa, of "a magical servant"). which isn't why i headcanon that bellroc wears their familiar's skull, by the way, though it would probably add to their general bemusement at modern magic-users' concept of the relationship. i've had this headcanon for such a long time, now, but despite wanting very badly to write something about it i've never actually gotten anything to a publishable state. (the one thing i have written recently about this is currently. 100-odd words of snippy banter/[INSERT SCENE-SETTING HERE], which feels like it doesn't quite count.) so. some bullet points, while i kick around some thoughts in the microwave of the mind.
yes, bellroc killed their familiar. they did not know that's what she was. they did not mean to do it.
azherin was a giant fuckoff dragon, the distillation of everything stories say dragons should be: vain, cunning, arrogant, unfathomably powerful. because it's my oc and my hc and therefore everything is based on my terrible taste, she is (mostly) feathered, and breathes silver fire (and occasionally lightning). she's also got a wife and kids but god if we fall down that rabbithole i really will never get to bed
the first time they see her, a slip of oil-black bleeding up from the edge of the sky, they feel a flash of some vague, fleeting connection. they wonder what it is, just for a moment, before (they think) they realize: the old familiar coil of fear, twisting to settle bright and lazy into their gut. they think she's smoke, from a particularly vicious wildfire.
when they find out what she actually is—for the first time since dying, in a particularly vicious wildfire—they think on how how strange it is, at this age, to find something they may fear more than that.
(the thought of "a familiar" never occurs to them. to either of them. bellroc never knew magic before receiving it violently and unexpectedly; skrael has heard of magic users with companions of varying sorts but if he's ever seen one, it's only been a mundane-looking creature like a bird or a sable marten. they wouldn't know the word as we use it now, and probably don't, for a long time.)
but bellroc does by now know magic, and by now knows it very well. always conscious that their mastery is earned—that they've had to work for it—but conscious that they are a master, all the same. they're the only person in the world to wear so much (or any) metal jewelry, let alone have a metal staff almost as tall as them. they might not quite openly think of themself as a god—yet—but they are certainly thinking about gods and godhood as a general concept, much more than they did while within the span of a normal human lifetime. they think about power, sure, about improving their craft, about impressing a certain someone, improving their lives; but also duty, obligation, right.
so when they find out a literal dragon is going around terrorizing defenseless human towns—well. they'll catch the devil from skrael later, for being so reckless. but in the moment, they protest: what else could they do?
as it turns out: even the most op of magical cavemen does not simply 1v1 a giant flying murderlizard.
especially one that can breathe lightning.
especially when their primary weapon is a giant metal stick.
skrael meanwhile is watching all of this—what. rivalry? folie à deux? he's been having odd dreams lately, infrequent, but insistent and recurrent, from his own yet-unknown familiar/skull source, which maybe is making him less charitable than he could be. but after watching bellroc definitely get their ass kicked and definitely be way more torn up about it than he'd expected: when they notice him being so dubious he must admit, he is perplexed. he understands bellroc's stated reasons for why they (tried to) intervene, that first time; it would be a terrible thing, he agrees, to find yourself in a town that a dragon has now decided is her personal pantry. but terrible shit happens all the time. however admirable it may be to try and stop it (and he does think it's admirable, because he's a sap) he is always, at heart, a pessimist.
even if you could have saved that one village—he means it gently, even if it doesn't quite come out right—you know she'll just move on to another.
and bellroc blanches. for the first time in a long time: they have a (small, but) serious fight.
because—bellroc's perspective is: they have all this power. all of this life, after dying, terribly; all of this magic, after a life of nothing of the kind. perhaps one mortal effort would make no difference; perhaps, even now, their effort would not tip the balance. as it certainly did not in that hill-town, they mutter, bitterly.
but they are no mortal, now. what's the good of having this power, if they don't even use it?
anyway bellroc and azherin end up running into each other 6-7 times. the last time, azherin just loses her shit at this insolent, interfering child:
(please excuse the clumsiness here; this must be from. good god. twenty twenty-one)
...which ends predictably (though maybe not entirely so). and when skrael finds them, after, then he really lets them have it.
#q&a#trollhunters#wizards#wip tag#almost 900 words in like. an hour. @ myself where is this every other hour of every other day of the week#tldr: i wanted to think about what this 'familiar' relationship means#and i also wanted to explain why bellroc and skrael wore skull helmets but not nari#they're not trophies. skrael's is—possibly something else. not *just* a helmet#but bellroc treats theirs as a relic.#something sacred. something that reminds them of something important.#when they're not wearing it they keep it in a little shrine in their room#not exactly like the skulls in their childhood home—but something akin to it.#something they care for. that they would repair. if it were ever to be damaged.#long post
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RE my last repost ... the reason why white liberals tend to romanticize islam and judaism comes down to two things methinks
a. STILL not seeing muslim and jewish communities as human beings. making sweeping assumptions about a group of people is always stupid even if these sweeping assumptions are "positive". like, we are human beings lol. sometimes we are shitty! respecting someone's inherent personhood doesn't mean they're always good people. and it's still dehumanizing, it's just dehumanizingly making you feel like you're doing something lol. it also allows shitty muslims and shitty jewish people to get away with shitty things. overcorrecting because you don't want to seem like a bigot is fucking... stupid, lmao. motherfuckers will say shit like "omg u guys we can't ask muslims to not hate gay people, its disrespectful to them :/" like, what, are we so stupid and barbaric that we cannot possibly be asked to adhere to your Regular People moral code? do you think you have to hold my hand into not hatecriming a dude? boo fucking hooooo. also no offense (full offense) if someone believes their religion allows them to oppress other people, like, if THIS is what they take away from their holy text, then maybe... they are simply just a shitty person? they are a shitty person who also shouldn't live in fear of some fucking white supremacist cunt yanking their hijab off their head like???
b. inherent misunderstanding of power dynamics and how they function in society. muslims and jewish people in europe and the us/canada are a religious minority and often though not always are racialized -> ie they're an oppressed group. people have used religion to oppress minorities since like ever since they created the concept of religion lol. this is neither new nor special. but as it so happens, antisemitism and islamophobia is deeply rooted in western society in a way that affects the lives of jewish ppl and muslims every day. However! in muslim majority countries, for example, muslims are the oppressor. in ways identical to how christians are the oppressor in the west lol. like, in egypt, for example, like 15% of the population is christian. every one else is Presumed to be muslim. (egyptian jews are SO badly persecuted that they have to say they're muslim or christian on their ID because they might actually get fucking hatecrimed OR KILLED for being jewish !! and if you say you're atheist you may literally get fucking killed lol 🤩) and you'll find this shit in nearly every muslim majority country just as you find it in fuckass islamphobic racist america! does this mean ALL muslims are antisemitic bigoted pieces of shit? No but SOME sure fucking are! it just so happens, that in this specific region, the people who are in power, the people who have the resources and social power to oppress others, are muslim. it is so insanely eurocentric to think that muslims are always uwu victims uwu. and you know what's fucking funny? christian minorities in the SWANA region are nothing like, i don't know, catholics in france. diaspora muslims are nothing like the fucking taliban. you don't tend to see verses about christian supremacy in SWANA christians, just as you don't tend to see bigoted verses repeated by diaspora muslims. religion tends to manifest in peaceful "wholesome" ways when you're disenfranchised as a survival tactic because you gotta be on your best behavior baby you can't oppress people here! you cannot afford to alienate (looks at scrambled writing on hand) women or gay people. people have and will use religion as a tool and weapon to be relevant and stay in power but context is fucking keyyyyyy
#i hope this doesnt get out of my lil circle of mutuals lmaoaaooo#all this definitely for sure goes for judaism as well i have more shit to talk about islam because im muslim lmao#whatever. send tweet
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Writer Tag!
Thanks so much @blindmagdalena! How many works do you have on AO3? As of right now, 67. What's your total AO3 word count?
No idea lol.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos? A Lungful of Smoke Quid Pro Quo The Trees Stood Witness The Beast You've Made of Me the beast you've made of me
I feel like three of these should be discounted because I wrote them in like 2017 - the Hawks one was literally when he was first introduced and we didn't even know his civilian name then.
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do, though not every comment - usually if they're just like "Part Two!" or "More plz!" I tend not to reply to those. I tend to worry about looking like I'm purposefully boosting my comment number by replying to them all.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Definitely "as the stars explode".
What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I'm not sure, most of my fics are smut oneshots so I guess hitting the big O is a happy ending. "The Gift" was a pretty happy ending for Grimmjow and Reader.
Do you write crossovers? Not usually but that doesn't necessarily mean I never will.
Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes. Once I got a particularly stupid one about some girl getting salty that I spoiled a character's death - a character that had only appeared in the manga, so as an anime-only watcher she shouldn't have even been reading about him since she shouldn't know who he is if she hadn't already seen some spoilers.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I think it's pretty much all I write lol. I'm trying to branch out a bit but I worry people feel cheated with no sexy payoff.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have, though this was back in like 2015 of a fandom I'm not naming out of embarrassment, and they reposted it to ff.net. Luckily I don't think Reader Inserts are permitted there so I'm assuming it got deleted anyway.
Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, a couple of times! Mostly into Russian.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, though my Peaky Blinders OC fic is based off an RP I was doing with my friend, so some of it was partly written by her, which I'm repurposing with her permission. <3
What's your all-time favorite ship? I tend to not get too involved with shipping because I like ships that are more unusual and get tired of the same super-popular pairing getting shoved down my neck. That being said, I am forever salty Peaky Blinders set up Tommy/May in Season 2 and then inexplicably just sorta dropped it because May's actress got preggers. (I want them to finally get together for the movie so badly but I'm not holding out much hope.)
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I like to think once my hyperfixation kicks in I'll go back to some fics I've ditched but I find multichapter stories difficult to commit to. I do want to continue with my Demon!Dabi story and that Dazai one I wrote one chapter of and then ditched. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm fairly good at dialogue and I try to put unique twists on concepts I've seen done before. I personally also enjoy the personalities I give to my Readers, I'm a bit picky with Readers in Reader Inserts (I hate it when they're either super passive and meek or aggressive af for no reason).
What are your writing weaknesses?
I think I have a bad tendency to skip a lot of exposition because I want to jump to dialogue. I also sometimes worry my writing is too beige prose-y and I should take my time a bit more. Also I am awful at finishing multichapter fics because I get distracted so easily. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I guess it depends on how it's used? I quite like it when people write characters with accents, I think it adds a nice flavour to stories. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Fruits Basket and Naruto lol. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to I have a bunch of like, half-started Billy Butcher x Reader concepts but he's such a hard character to write for. I think it's because I don't get to discuss him nearly as much as Homelander. What's your favorite fic you've written? I'm personally pretty fond of "I'm neon phosporescent" for Dabi being a kinky bastard and "stardust in my eyes" as my first foray into The Boys.
No pressure tags: @librarianqueen @inkyveins @honeydazai-main and anyone else who wants to participate!
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Then there’s Niki and Jack. I do think that wanting to ask Wilbur their questions is part of their motivation to see him. Tommy doesn’t tell them shit and a lot of Wilbur’s behaviour doesn’t make sense. A large chunk of it is also worry. I don’t think Wilbur sees them as friends yet, mainly because he has no concept of friendship, but I think Niki and Jack might see him as their friend. That would make sense. When it’s just the 4 of them they tend to talk and joke around like friends. Niki literally says he’s more than just a vessel to them. To them he’s a person with a sense of humour who likes Niki’s bread rolls. To them he’s someone to worry about.
Wilbur’s mentality shift is also very interesting. He loves his problems by avoiding them or pretending they don’t exist (much like the deathlings). But he’s too tired for that now. So Niki and Jack can come in. And Tommy knows somethings very wrong with Wilbur, like he’s not doing fine and the shift in behaviour is very obvious for someone who spend so much time with him. I think Tommy himself might have wanted Wilbur to say no. Or at least expected him too.
That’s another thing. Tommy’s possessiveness of Wilbur really shines through during this conversation. He doesn’t trust Niki or Jack not to mess him up further. And I don’t know if it’s Tommy not realising that they can’t help properly if they don’t know the full story. Maybe there’s a disconnect and he doesn’t realise that not everyone can read Wilbur as well as he can or has picked up on all the trauma shining through. Maybe it’s more him thinking that they would interpret it wrong if he told them. And then part of it is Tommy understanding that it’s not his story to tell. (even if there’s some things he should definitely tell).
Then we circle back to why Niki wants to ask her questions [If he doesn’t tell us, we won’t know how to prevent it from happening again.] She’s not being nosy (though maybe a little). She’s trying to help, because Tommy doesn’t tell them shit so they can’t figure out what upset Wilbur. To us, it’s very obvious but to them, it might not be. They don’t know why Wilbur can’t tell them anything. So they didn’t understand the weight of pushing too far or why he was so difficult. And now they do. And they’ll know not to do it again. Except Wilbur doesn’t seem to care anymore but I’ll get to that cuz I’m out of time again.
(2/?)
-🌲
yes in niki and jack's eyes, they're his friends!! they both genuinely care about him and his wellbeing, but tommy won't tell them shit so they want to know how he's doing after the day before. they want to understand what upset him so badly, because they're worried about him. both niki and jack know they're not as close to him as tommy is, but they still care about him either way. niki specifically is being a bit nosy as well, but she just wants to know what's going on. it's not obvious to the others what's going on in his head at all. tommy has the best idea, but he's not talking, so their only option is to try and ask wilbur directly.
tommy can definitely tell something's wrong with wilbur because of how easily he relented to niki and jack coming in. he doesn't want wilbur to get pushed too far again, and in truth, tommy thinks he's the only one who can properly read wilbur's moods enough to not push him too far. he doesn't want any of the progress he's made with wilbur to get damaged because of someone else meddling, but he also just likes knowing that he's the one that's closest with wilbur. it's a childish kind of possessiveness that I really wanted to highlight in this chapter but I'll go more into it in your next ask since you mention it more there
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what do you do when inspiration suddenly hits you? like do you just memorize it in ur head or note it somewhere or do u work on that idea immediately?? im very very curious about ur creative process PLEASE OVERSHARE because i believe there are things that are new to me. like you write and draw and it's amazing how tou do both! i'm more curious about ur writing process because i don't write much (nowadays i only journal or write diary entries, in the past i did write fanfictions but they're almost all oneshots or unplanned dropped after 2 or 3 chapters). (how) do you plan your storyline? do you consider yourself flexible (like are u comfortable with changing plans in a big project where one change could lead to other changes?). Do you beta read by yourself or is there anyone who does it? if you do it by yourself, what do you feel when re-reading your writings? i literally have sm questions but i don't wanna overwhelm you 😭😭😭 you don't need to answer if you don't want to, that's alright!!!
when u said i could overshare
for whenever the inspiration hits, i tend to start on it immediately. writing is such a mood booster for me and i'm in a low mood most of the time so i seize the moment whenever motivation comes :'D sometimes when i'm busy (let's say school/work) and a great idea pops in (usually in quote format), i just lay it down in my gdocs. for oneshots, 1 doc would suffice. for longfics, the docs per chapter are contained in a folder.
i don't think i'm great in fan arts (i just get the boost from those who draw well—like u!) so i'm glad you appreciate it as well <3
regarding my writing process, someone actually asked me about it before! but to generalize my answer there, i ponder on 3 things (plot, characterization, & chapter study). my first fic (and my first series in general) was dusk in the brightest. i worked on chapter study first: detailed sequence of events from C1-10, vague concept in 11-15, then the rest is just 2-3 sentences of how i want the story to end. the 2nd one, character study, was smth i learned from a professor in one of my subjects when i submitted a one-act play script to her and she heavily criticized my characterization (like so badly i still get jitters remembering it) 😭 since then, i've been very wary with getting things accurate and consistent with my characters. for my plot-heavy fics, that's what i'm most serious for.
i think my flexibility (i dont even think i got that) was v challenged during the last arc of DIB because i suddenly had a complete change of mind with the ending (exactly what u had mentioned: changes that would lead one thing to the other). it was def not comfortable but a great tip (i think) to work around it is that: go back to your earlier chapters, pick up the most random scenarios you had made, then come up with a reason why that random thing ensued. an example of executing it is how isayama worked around aot's first scene (child!eren crying & mikasa being the first one he sees) by connecting it to his last scene in the manga (ofc i wouldn't assume isayama just thought abt it midway. it's just with how he executed it).
i don't have lots of friends in this app so i usually do the revisions all by myself. i'm a type of author that releases chapters impulsively—i'd publish smth that i hadn't proofread yet, read it in the app, then just do all the editing there. i'll repeat the process until i finally get satisfied. i think it's easier for me to point out mistakes when i feel the urgency to do so (like omg i have to hurry in polishing this bc readers might click anytime soon 😭) though someone helped me change POVs (from 1st to 2nd) in DIB C1-13 and let me tell u that i never thought having someone help me beta read my work could bring me so much delight.
and pls don't worry about overwhelming me! using this app and dumping all my work here are literally what keeps me sane from the overwhelming things in my life atm. to have u appreciate it gives me joy & comfort. thats why i'd be honored to answer all of ur questions :'D
#can i also just say that i propelled a scream when u sent me this ask#LIKE 🥺🥺🥺#u have my whole heart#asks ✧₊⁺
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So Google, not just Chrome, but Google itself, hates ad blockers.
I get it, ads make money for way less effort and customer involvement than subscriptions and paywalls.
The problem is, as cybersecurity professionals have said, ads are a security risk for every system they interact with. Even if you don't click any ads ever, they're still a security risk.
How are they a security risk? Because ads are allowed to run code to perform their tasks. This code is supplied by the ad provider, and if all it ever did was provide a link, a hovertext/description for the visually impaired, and maybe a non-gif animation, this would be a non-issue on all but the weakest internet connections.
They are not all like that, though.
Endless cases of ad providers, site providers, even your actual ISP (Internet Service Provider) have been proven to inject arbitrary code, capable of doing a great number of things, into ads, links, images, video, etc.
This code has had scripts to use your computer's processing power to help mine Bitcoin so long as it's on the page the code started on, it's been used to install malware (even by your ISP in one particularly bad case), it's been used to just install viruses or keyloggers or so many more things.
Hell, even the not-malicious code can just bog down your computer by being terribly written messes of badly functioning code, so something that should run with barely any impact instead takes up ridiculous amounts of processing power and capacity.
This is a problem, and it's largely solvable by simply blocking ads. There's no native way to prevent ads from running scripts or code without disabling all JavaScript on every page, which effectively kills most pages you go to since every drop-down menu, every page-altering section (like the Google images thing), most search bars, video playback, and so much more, all depend entirely on JavaScript.
Google wants to take away that necessary security of blocking problematic ads, rather than just make a way to disable the problematic aspects of ads.
I dislike ads, especially when they take up more than about 25% of the screen. I'd ideally like to see little to no ads ever, but I understand how ads support the sites they're on, support creators on streaming services, etc.
I'd be okay with classic banner ads, basic image/link ads, even the before/during/after video ads, if they weren't almost guaranteed to be literally hostile. If Google hates ad blockers so much, they should make them less of a safety requirement by letting us choose to disable ad scripts, or even just block that entire concept, because no ads for any worthwhile service or product have ever needed to run scripts. If an image or GIF of your product/service, maybe with a quick description, isn't selling your product/service, then making it hover over the page content, make noise, and mine Bitcoin will only piss your target audience off, while proudly claiming that you are the one doing it.
Would you buy a product that tricks you into interacting with it through just being annoying and pulling the sibling trick of "I'm not touching you, see? I'm touching your computer, not you?"
Hell, pop-up ads were basically scriptless and still managed to piss off most of the people who encountered them. The guy who invented them made a public apology for having developed that 'extremely intrusive' marketing method. Now ISPs have been caught injecting malware into links that you click on while using their service, with the express intent of installing them to your computer to monitor what you do and block access to sites they don't want you on.
You want the Internet to be safe? Don't fight porn or violence, that has never done anything but drive up interest. Fight the people actively making the Internet literally unsafe to use regardless of age or system.
I'll accept ads if ad providers stop making automatic malware.
Sorry for the rant, I'm tired and annoyed.
#ads#Google#Google Chrome#adblock#ad blocking#scripts#why#whyyyy#rant#rant post#personal rant#internet#so i'll share them with the internet#internet safety
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After about 20 hours in, I think I've decided to give up on Persona 5. The music and aesthetics were definitely nice and I think the concept is pretty rad, but I just had a hard time really connecting with the characters and the gameplay wasn't really doing anything for me. Anyways, I'm just gonna spill some thoughts out here. While these are critical, they're ultimately specific to my personal experience of the game. I think it's awesome so many people enjoyed it so much.
Something about Ryuji and Ann just wasn't hitting right with me. I don't think they're badly written, but I found them to be pretty basic people and I think having two halves of the party (2/3s of the speaking members) be "just normal guys" can actually demand a surprisingly high quality of writing. Without entertaining quirks you can jingle in front of the audience like keys for a baby, you're really relying on your ability to express the pathos of being a person who feels things in situations. In my opinion, P5 didn't really do that well enough for me to be engaged.
Perhaps part of that is just that I personally didn't really relate to either of them. For instance, personally, if I'd been in their shoes with the Kamoshida thing, I wouldn't have hesitated at all about the possibility of him going braindead, so I found the hemming and hawing offputting, even if I could see how a real person might do that.
That leads into the story not really super gripping me. I found the idea of it interesting, but the resolution of stuff with Kamoshida felt unsatisfying to me, especially since I cleared the palace on the first available day and had to spend, like, two weeks waiting for the result. It was, I suppose, as positive as one could reasonably expect, but it felt... weird seeing such an awful person be completely fixed. Like, there wasn't any reason for Kamoshida to be evil, he just was, and then we did spirit surgery on him and removed his evil so now he's good.
I suppose that just feels weird to me. Yes, the problem is resolved, but who is this leftover man? Kamoshida literally never did anything other than be evil. There's nothing left of him but his shape. If he'd shown even an ounce of good, like, if I believed there was a part of him that wasn't an irredeemable asshole buried under all the awfulness, then I might have felt a bit better, but there genuinely wasn't. So, while I acknowledge that Kamoshida confessing to his crimes and completely committing to making amends is the best outcome, it didn't make me feel good to see him do it. To be honest, I think I really would've preferred it if he'd, like, exploded to death while everyone struck a cool pose or something.
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Lol what u sorry for this was so much fun to read I couldn't stop laughingXD
LISTEN - I would need to record a 3-hour video or something if I wanted to say everything I have to say about the movies, so I'll shut that part of my brain up and keep it short:
Beverly Hills Cats:
I 1000% agree on the pacing. Oh my God.
When I was a kid and saw the movie for the 1st time on CN, I was just grateful we finally got something new for TC. The series was always very niche so getting his own TV movie made me happy. But after watching it again as an adult all I could do was scream internally at the pacing and the writing. Like I know it's a low-budget movie, so I can look past the poor animation, off-model characters and weird artifacts and all that. But I can't ignore the goddamn writing asghjkl but I like the cute cat jokes
Brain, Benny and Choo Choo are written quite okay in the movie. They're probably the 3 who are most in-character. Fancy and Spook come in second. Kinda.
T.C. and Dibble are ALL. OVER. THE PLACE in terms of how they're written. The especially-egregious part about Dibble is you can remove him entirely from the movie, put in literally any random new guy and it wouldn't have made any difference.
For new viewers who'd never seen the series and have no previous idea of what these characters are like, I wouldn't blame them if they decided they don't care about checking out the series because of how badly T.C. and Dibble were written.
Amy was a wasted opportunity. They could've done something really good with her, but like a lot of things in the movie her situation makes no sense and makes the ending and whole premise of the story boring.
Top Cat The Movie:
IMO this movie technically has the least problems out of the 3, but I agree that the people working on it did it with passion even if they didn't have Hollywood-level resources.
I don't really like rebooting time-piece stories into the 'current era', and this especially applies to TC since I've always loved the 60s NYC vibe it has going, so the idea of robots and automation wasn't really for me but that’s a personal preference. I watched the movie for the cute gang moments. Dibble is borderline tolerable in this movie in terms of writing but could've been a hundred times better. Since it's a reboot of sorts, I can forgive a few strange things like the gang believing for one hot second that T.C. would steal from an orphanage.
Brain barely exists in the movie, and sadly the way he’s written is unlikeable. And Strickland could've been more interesting if they didn't overuse the weird handsomeness joke.
Top Cat Begins:
OK I said that TCtM is the one with the least problems from a technical standpoint, but Begins is the one I like best for some of its concepts. Like it has some very good ideas, but the problem is that the movie was trying to do too much in too little time, so it ends up feeling like there is no proper character development.
And yeah same, I don't consider this origin story canon. (I don't really consider any of the movies canon)
Even though I don't think of Dibble's grandma's character as 'canon', she's extremely funny and I love her lol. As for Dibble my mind could never grasp that this is supposed to be the same guy as the series, they're two different characters. But at least some of his and T.C.’s interactions are actually funny.
Mr. Big is a good villain, although him being a crocodile is a little weird for me? but YES Bad Dog is super fitting into the TC verse, like I can easily see this design in the 2D series. I don't like Panther's design at all. Very out of place in terms of char design and silhouette especially when compared to everyone else. Fancy's in-movie design? I actually love it for some reason, he looks very cute. Personality-wise? Hmm...
Brain imo is a little better in this movie than in TCtM, but his, Choo Choo’s and Fancy’s backstories couldve been awesome and varied. Lumping them together in the same origin story as escaped circus performers was made because there really is no time in the movie to flesh out anyone. As for Spook-
"Also he's got a bit of a plot hole where he's like 'why should I stick my neck out for you' and then legit like 2 minutes later he's like 'i've been following you around so we can join forces' like ok bro"
☝ROFL YES? THIS?? XD☝
I appreciate that they tried to include cute gang moments which is an absolute must in my book but again - TOO MUCH going on, too little time, where's the development. T.C. telling them they're his family at the end of the movie could've been 1000x better if there was a strong build up to it. Then it wouldn't sound like a phoned-in soap opera script.
I don't have a problem with the weird animations and unpolished designs - again - because it's completely unfair to compare Anima to like, Pixar or something. They did they best they could with what they have.
So yeah, IMO both these movies rank higher than BHC thanks for coming to my ted talk~
(P.S. it always tickled me that they gave most of the cats' eyes colors similar to CGaL because now I can joke-brag that I wrote it first in 2012 lol /slapped)
Here's another ask: 1 thing you like + 1 thing you dislike about each TC movie
Almost guaranteed these are gunna end up being more than one thing because I don't know how to shut up but let's see
Beverly Hills Cats:
I like that it's silly and also because it gives Brain more of a spotlight, also it confirmed a few of my lesser headcanons (Spook can play the drums and Brain likes rats) also The Rap for their costumes (specifically Spook's and Brain's they slay) also Spook's voice is very gruff in BHC and so now I have a REAL reason to make his voice a little gravelly/give him a little growl when he talks whenever I read a dialogue from him other than just because I want to
However the PACING OH MY GOD THE PACING 😭 some of the movie just drags and the dialogue feels clunky sometimes, also the visuals look dirty if that makes sense? Everything's a strange color y'know? Also The Rap because it's so poorly composed and it makes me die a little. Also Amy Vandergelt fuck Amy Vandergelt all my homies hate Amy Vandergelt. Also Dibble didn't really feel like Dibble y'know like he was oddly mean and (extra) dense like 😭
Top Cat: The Movie:
I am inherently biased because this is a movie from my childhood I was FUCKING OBSESSED with it and would watch it every day once I got home from school in 4th grade and I still remember a dream I had about it years ago and I'm pretty sure I put Spook into a story I had to write for class 😭 it's how I got into Top Cat in the first place so I hold The Movie very near and dear to my heart anyways I really love that it legitimately feels like Anima Estudios put a lot of love into it and like they made a genuine effort to make it feel like OG even if they fell short. Also THE ARTSTYLE I WOULD FUCKING KILL TO GET A REBOOT IN THE STYLE OF THE MOVIE ARARAR GEOMETRIC ARTSTYLES EATS A BRICK anyways also Trixie, they could never make me hate you Trixie (I need to draw her more) also the robots are funny as fuck for no reason
While I still think people greatly exaggerated how bad the movie was, I can kinda understand where they're coming from because the plot holes are ABYSMAL OMG 💀 also fucking Rob Schneider is Strickland in the British dub which is immediately awful, also not as awful but Dibble doesn't feel nearly as like strict or intimidating as he did before and I think that's mostly because of the voice they gave him, it's very squeaky. Also I feel like Strickland could work as a good antagonist but I feel like they leaned into the 'oh I'm so handsome I'm the prettiest in the world' thing too hard and it just made him feel really annoying and not like an actual threat at all, also naturally the flanderization of Brain (Anima Estudios must've had beef with him or something cos they did him even more dirty in Begins)
Top Cat Begins:
To be completely Frank, to be completely David even, there's really not that much I like about Begins other than Hellcat Spook (naturally). I mean I like Furletta Duchat because she's purdy and Dib's grandmother (Grambo) because she's fucking insane. Chooch's little waddle of a walk. OH I actually REALLY like Mr. Big as a villain. He's an actual threat to T.C. and the gang and his design, voice, and behavior is actually intimidating and probably the best crafted out of any of the new characters in Begins (also his model isn't fugly like most of the rest of them). If a new movie or series ever gets made I hope he makes a return even just as like a minor villain. Also Diedrich Bader voices Bad Dog and that's an inside joke between me and my sister lmao (also I do really like Bad Dog he's an excellent goon)
First things first for things I don't like about Begins, THE MODELS. WHY ARE THEY SO UGLY. WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS. I mean like they could be worse BUT THEY COULD CERTAINLY BE BETTER 😭 I mean I do appreciate them for giving us canon eye colors for the fellas but good fucking lord
Help him 😭
Tbh I'm trying to think of who the worst offender is and tbh it's almost all of them but I will say that Benny and Spook look the best, Fancy isn't ugly but he doesn't really look like Fancy, (same with Dibble) and ig T.C. isn't bad but he's not good. Brain and Chooch though what did they do to my lads. Chooch has gingivitis and lacks fangs (actually all of them lack fangs except for T.C. and Benny which I think is especially offensive) and Brain's model is built in such a way where any mouth movement he makes looks FUCKED UP. Also his eyes are really small and so are his ears and his proportions are generally fucked.
Fun fact I found some like beta promo art for Begins a while ago and Fancy's model is completely different and dare I say he looks better than his official model
Anyways models aside I think this is kind of a dogshit origin story for the gang. Making T.C. and Benny meet Fancy, Chooch, and Brain all at the same time only to not see them for the next 45 minutes was real fuckin lame-o and lazy and they also retconned that whole thing where T.C. and Benny were in Boy Scouts together which I really didn't appreciate. Also could've stood to have moar Spook in the movie instead of him being a deus ex machina and having LESS THAN TEN MINUTES OF SCREENTIME, like shit dawg. Also I always thought it was lame that he was just the pizza guy and not ACTUALLY involved with Mr. Big y'know? Also he's got a bit of a plot hole where he's like 'why should I stick my neck out for you' and then legit like 2 minutes later he's like 'i've been following you around so we can join forces' like ok bro if that was the case you would've just pulled them up and not've done that whole thing where you made it seem like you would've left them there but alright dawg. In my opinion I would've had it where Mr. Big sends out Spook to find them and follow them around after they lose their tracks of them and then when they escape Spook's grasp THEN Mr. Big fucks up Eleanore. Anyways what else. Uhh. Oh I can't tell if they just forgot what Dibble acted like or they tried making him younger in Begins but like. That's not Dibble. Who is that. Also again, Brain flanderization to the extreme and some mischaracterization of Fancy. Anyways I think that's it actually
This turned into a full rant I'm sorry 😭 but yeah I think a remake/revamp of Begins is in order because it's so bad and then BHC isn't bad, just mid at times, and then I've always found The Movie to be charmingly bad despite it's plot holes
#top cat 1961#don gato#top cat the movie#top cat and the beverly hills cats#top cat begins#benny the ball#officer dibble#choo choo#fancy fancy#spook#the brain#fandom
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1.11 picks up right where 1.10 left off-- literally with Sam on the phone with John for the first time in who even knows how long, possibly since the night Sam left for Stanford four years earlier. (We know Dean has had occasional contact with Sam over that time, but since John’s “if you walk out that door, don’t you ever come back” was something we don’t even know about concretely for a while yet.)
John had called Dean’s phone, though. Dean’s still the obedient son John expects to follow orders, and he needs them safely out of the way again so sends them to hunt a specific and very out-of-the-way entity who kills two victims every year like clockwork. And isn’t that fascinating, another annual event thing that John has “allowed” to continue happening for who knows how long, only to have this conveniently tucked away as a case to send Sam and Dean on now... How many couples died since John learned of this happening, and yet only NOW it becomes vital to stop it? Yeah, fascinating.
Something different happens on this phone call, though. WE see John on the other end of the line. This order does come directly from him this time, but we don’t know what HE knows about how far his investigation into the thing that killed Mary has come, and what danger provoked him into giving this assignment at this particular time. Almost as if we now know that he’s being manipulated as much as Sam and Dean are by the larger narrative, with the introduction of Meg.
Because as much as taking this case kept Sam and Dean safe (in John’s mind, they were out of the way of whatever he was doing on his end that he believed he was closing in on the demon that killed Mary), it also put Sam in the exact right position to rebel against the order exactly as he did, and threw him directly into Meg’s path.
John: Listen, Sammy, that’s why I’m calling. You and your brother, you gotta stop looking for me. Alright, now, I need you to write down these names. Sam: Names? What names, Dad—talk to me, tell me what’s going on. John: Look, we don’t have time for this. This is bigger than you think, they’re everywhere. Even us talking right now, it’s not safe. Sam: No. Alright? No way. Dean: Give me the phone. John: I have given you an order. Now, you stop following me, and you do your job. You understand me? Now, take down these names.
and
Dean: Dad said it wasn’t safe. For any of us. I mean, he obviously knows something that we don’t, so if he says to stay away, we stay away. Sam: I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it’s like you don’t even question him. Dean: Yeah, it’s called being a good son! You’re a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don’t care what anybody thinks. Sam: That’s what you really think? Dean: Yes, it is.
And within the context of this particular case, in this particular town, the elders were all aware of what was going on all along, had deliberately engineered this annual sacrifice to the god who made their town prosperous. It’s only their niece from the younger generation who doesn’t know the horrific secret of the town’s success-- and the fact that her parents were likely sacrificed to the god years ago.
EMILY: I came here when I was thirteen. I lost my parents. Car accident. My aunt and uncle took me in.
“““““Car accident.”““““ Like all the other couples sacrificed to the god whose cars broke down on the road out of town. It might never be stated outright, but it’s so heavily implied as to be obvious.
Rather than sacrifice themselves, the older generation hides their secret and goes on in desperation to sacrifice the next generation instead.
It’s also fascinating how Dean attempts to deal with the reality of the supernatural when talking to the “general public.”
GIRL: We just stopped for gas. And, uh, the guy at the gas station saved our lives. DEAN: Is that right? MAN: Yeah, one of our brake lines was leaking. We had no idea. He was fixing it for us. DEAN: (concerned) Nice people. MAN: Yeah. DEAN: So, how long till you’re up and runnin’? MAN: Sundown. DEAN: Really. (He thinks about it for a minute.) To fix a brake line? (The man nods.) I mean, you know, I know a thing or two about cars. I could probably have you up and running in about an hour. I wouldn’t charge you anything. GIRL: You know, thanks a lot, but I think we’d rather have a mechanic do it. DEAN: Sure. I know. (He pauses.) You know, it’s just that these roads. They’re not real safe at night. (The couple exchange a look.) GIRL: I’m sorry? DEAN: I know it sounds strange, but, uh—you might be in danger. MAN: (annoyed) Look, we’re trying to eat. Okay? DEAN: Yeah. (He looks disappointed. The couple seems worried by DEAN.) You know, my brother could give you this puppy dog look, and you’d just buy right into it.
In a situation where Scotty knows the full truth, and is involved in the manipulation of these people into becoming sacrifices to their god, luring them to what they believe is safety but is a trap... Dean couldn’t just tell these people the whole truth. So instead of just talking them into saving their own lives, or trying to help them directly, he had to sit and wait for them to be in direct danger from the scarecrow before being able to save them. Interesting in context of all the times they’ve had to confront this exact topic in s14 (and the way they’ve slowly evolved to that point over the entire series). Basically all of 14.16 was about this-- about why they just can’t tell the truth. It’s been addressed so much in recent seasons from all sorts of directions, too, in 13.01 how Dean reveals everything to the sheriff with a dead-eyed stare, to how Jack must learn to manage truth vs lies in 13.04, right the way through Jack’s “Stop lying!” in 14.20. It’s been an interesting evolution.
And here we have Chuck’s pet themes, too:
Stacy: Sweetheart, that’s what sacrifice means. Giving up something you love for the greater good. The town needs to be safe. The good of the many outweighs the good of the one.
And the townspeople know what they’re doing is horrific:
SCOTTY: You don’t understand, Harley. All of us here—It’s our responsibility to protect the town. HARLEY: I understand. Better than all of you. I’m the one that gives ‘em directions. I’m the one that sends ‘em down to the orchard. SHERIFF: Harley, please. HARLEY: We all close our doors. Look the other way. Pretend we can’t hear the screams. But this is different, this—this is murder. STACY: It’s angry with us. Already the trees are beginning to die. Tonight’s the seventh night of the cycle. Our last chance. HARLEY: If the boy has to die, the boy has to die. But why does it have to be her?
Meanwhile, Meg learns plenty about Sam, but still she can’t stop Sam from turning around and going back to save Dean when he’s in danger:
MEG: I love my parents. And they wanted what’s best for me. They just didn’t care if I wanted it. I was supposed to be smart. But not smart enough to scare away a husband. (SAM smiles.) It’s just…because my family said so, I was supposed to sit there and do what I was told. So I just went on my own way instead. (SAM stares at her.) I’m sorry. The things you say to people you hardly know. SAM: No, no, it’s okay. I know how you feel. Remember that brother I mentioned before, that I was road-tripping with? (MEG nods.) It’s, uh, it’s kind of the same deal. MEG: And that’s why you’re not riding with him anymore? (SAM shakes his head. MEG raises her beer bottle.) Here’s to us. The food might be bad, and the beds might be hard. But at least we’re living our own lives. And nobody else’s.
and
DEAN: Sam. You were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life. SAM: Are you serious? DEAN: You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy. SAM: I don’t even know what to say. DEAN: Say you’ll take care of yourself. SAM: I will. DEAN: Call me when you find Dad.
But while Sam had left on foot, made it to a bus station only to be told he’d have to wait anyway, and given the alternative of “you could buy a car” if he wanted to get there faster... he’d resigned himself to waiting it out for the bus until he suspected that Dean was in trouble. When he felt the urgency of finding Dean as opposed to the vague latent urgency of finding John, well... he was willing to steal a car to find Dean. And a big deal is made of Sam’s discomfort over this fact.
Emily manages to end the cycle of sacrifices to this god, burning the source of the town’s connection to it and effectively leaving the entire town to die, but poor Sam and Dean are still stuck in the larger sacrificial cycle of the bigger story.
And we also learn that Meg is also trapped following the orders of a mysterious “Father” she only has contact with through the creepiest telephone ever. She literally sacrifices a human being to use his blood to make the call. Her side of the conversation that we hear, though? Makes it clear in the larger context (and knowing what happens over the next 14 years in the story) that Meg is just as in the dark as Sam and Dean are about the Bigger Plans in store for everyone:
MEG: It’s not that kind of call. (She pulls out a knife and slits the van driver’s throat. She holds the bowl under his neck and lets his blood pour into it.) Thanks for the ride. (She begins stirring the blood in the bowl with her finger.) Tire quiero patem me a di. (The blood swirls around and a silver orb appears in the middle of the liquid.) It makes no sense. I could’ve stopped Sam. Hell, I could’ve taken them both. Why let them go? (She pauses, seemingly listening to someone the audience cannot hear.) Yes. (She pauses again.) Yes. (She pauses one more time.) Yes, Father. (The screen fades to black.)
I could’ve stopped Sam. Hell, I could’ve taken them both. Why let them go?
She doesn’t, as far as we know, get a direct answer. Just more orders. And for us, from way out in the future at this point, who know how little Azazel (her father) himself knew about the larger plans beyond his own role in messing with Sam and Dean Winchester, the apocalypse, and now Chuck’s hand in all of it? Heck, it’s spirals all the way down. Sacrifice, manipulation, and following orders, all part of the Grand Plan of the entire universe.
#spn 1.11#spn 14.20#spn 13.01#spn 13.04#spn 14.16#spn 12.18#because these themes happened then too in another variation of the microcosm of the whole#winchester family dynamics#lies and damn lies#it's spirals all the way down#s14 hellatus rewatch#spiders georg of the tnt loop#that's what free will is#since they literally do not even have a concept of how badly they're all being manipulated yet D:#this is all so far above their current paygrade but they're learning fast... at least it seems like it in s1#if only they knew then what they know now...#what a freaking epic journey to enlightenment they'e yet to live :')
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Astro observations (part 2)
!DO NOT STEAL, CHANGE OR COPY! THIS POST IS PROTECTED AND I'LL SHOW UP AS YOUR SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON!
🥀 People with Leo Mercury (especially retrograde) folks are the type to have stage fright before any big performance/presentation/exam to the point where they're feeling sick and trembling like a leaf in the autumn wind, then still manage to nail it yet have no idea how it happened
kinda like they just black out and get possessed by a demon or smth, like, they don't even know how they nailed themselves
🥀 Lilith on the 4th house can make you rebel and negate your own roots (could be a good or a bad thing based on how you grew up) OR your childhood was centered around chaotic Lilith-type-individuals who didn't really understood how badly their actions affected you (since the 4th house also represents early home life) and "healthy family dynamics" is a very distant concept to you
🥀 Sun conjunct Saturn in synastry can make friendships/relationships last a long time but the Saturn person can have a hard time getting out their routine and be too rigid with the Sun, in turn the Sun person can grow feelings of envy and resentment over Saturn's social status and possessions. They could stick together for the good moments they shared together even if the connection doesn't bring them joy anymore
Even if they separate, the two still feel connected to each other somehow
🥀 With harmonious Moon/Aphrodite (1388) aspects the native's mom could've focused heavily on her looks; the native could be hyperfeminine and find comfort and peace in being surrounded by beauty
🥀 Istg every Libra I've met gets excited around fire signs. Every time I see interactions between them, the world around them just disappears lol
🥀 Moon dominant women, how painful are your periods? I'm trying to see whether the moon hates us or not
🥀 Venus-Neptune/Pluto aspects in the natal can make people feel drawn towards you unconsciously, bringing in a lot of (often) secret admirers since Pluto's influence pulls people in but also scares them to death lol
I have Venus trine Pluto and every time I talk to people, especially men, I literally cross my fingers and pray they're not a psycho rip 💀💀💀
🥀 Aries/Mars in the 8th natives are BIG into horror, thrillers, anything that involves blood and gore scenes. The downside is that these individuals could face a violent death and could have faced actual real life violence
🥀 Uranus in the 8th could experience chaotic high highs and low lows when it comes to money. During transits, the native could receive money unexpectedly, win the lottery or go bankrupt. Uranus is literally the Russian Roulette of the Solar system
🥀 People with prominent Leo placements or Sun conjunct ASC, will be put into situations where they WILL STAND OUT one way or another. Leos do get attention and can be attention seeking. But most of the attention they get just gravitates towards them naturally (I hope that makes sense)
Story time: When I was in 1st grade, my parents couldn't afford a school uniform by the time school started (here it's mandatory to wear one) and I went on the first day in a DARK RED pullover and BLACK pants. Guess who stood out the most in the class picture full of little girls dressed in WHITE-BLUE uniforms? My teeny tiny Leo stelluim self ✨✨✨
🥀 Gemini and Libra men are more self-centered than Leo men.......I said what I said
🥀 Aquarius culture is being friends with a lot of people, yet only ONE person knows all your tea, or NONE at all
🥀 Mars + Moon in the 1st folks CAN'T 👏🏻 STAY 👏🏻 F*CKING 👏🏻 STILL. They always need to do something to let that energy out otherwise they start bottling that in and it turns into frustration.
🥀 Mars+ Moon in synastry = biting your s/o because they're so cute ❤❤❤
🥀 Cancer+Virgo+Libra placements in the natal can make someone a control freak since Cancers are all about (especially emotional) security, wanting all the signs, all the warnings before they proceed with projects and relationships while Virgos and Libras tend to try to control their surroundings and habits as much as possible, very often fearing their own judgement.
On one hand , these people are considerate, on the other they can get stuck in their minds, fully drowning in their fears. Because of this, the native might think they're lazy. Like, seriously, I want to give these people a hug 🥺🥺
Happy Spooky Month and Scorpio season ya'll, love youuu 💖💕💕
#astrology#astro notes#astro observations#cancer placements#leo mercury#lilith 4th house#4th house#sun conjunct saturn#asteroid aphrodite#moon aphrodite aspects#sun#saturn#sun saturn synastry#libra#venus pluto aspects#aries in 8th#mars in 8th#mars in 1st#moon in 1st
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Do you think five is afraid of dying? Considering his comment about him thinking he'd cheat death too since he had cheated time so often. Or is he just afraid of dying alone?
Hmm... Complicated question. I think Five has an insane drive to survive, he's going to go until he physically can't anymore no matter what, but I don't think he's afraid of dying. I think he's afraid of failing his family by dying.
He's not looking for death, he's definitely wary of it, but he's faced death so often for the entirety of his life (literally every day in the apocalypse could have killed him), I think he's more in a stand-off with it than afraid of it. His line in S2 sums it up well: "the best luck is dying at the right time". And Five has been lucky so far. All his luck in life has been used up on this, the fact that despite everything he's still alive. He knows death is a "when", not an "if", his "when" hasn't come yet, and he's done his best to make sure his "when" is later.
Five has absolutely cheated death - you can look at it as a just a "wow, he survived the apocalypse", but he also very blatantly cheated it when he rewound time at the end of S2. He was dying in the barn. He knew this. His siblings were dead and he was a dead man, too, just doing it slower than they did. That's unacceptable, so he cheated and undid that (pin in this). There's a certain confidence, I think, that comes from surviving so much, a security in being able to look back at everything and say "this didn't kill me, so I'll be able to figure out the next thing that tries, too".
Where this gets more interesting is the second part of your question - is Five just afraid of dying alone? Yes and no. I think Five cares very little how he goes as long as his family is alright. Which is why that above pin is relevant - his family was dead and in the wrong timeline, so Five still had work to do. He could not die yet. I think he would absolutely prefer his death to be far in the future, when he's had time to be with his family and they're all set and happy and old. He does deserve that, too. But if he goes in a messy, painful way far away from them that ultimately gets his siblings safe and where they need to be? That will work for him. Not ideal, not what he'd choose for himself, but what matters is his family is alright. He's been driven by survivor's guilt that his family all died because he time traveled for the past 45 years; that lets him shove a lot of things that should matter a lot more behind his need to finally save them and for them to be Not Dead.
I think that's part of what rattles Five so badly about seeing his Founder self die. I don't think Five has really ever thought about getting old (he basically admits as much in S1, that he's never thought about what comes after he saves his family). He's already 58, and, considering his newly-13-year-old body (and assuming the Commission didn't age him up again), Founder Five is like 150 years old (58 + 87, to account for him aging back up to ~100). For someone who has expected to die almost every day of his life since he was 13, that's a really wild concept to confront. Plus, he's sitting here in a bunker in an organization Five hates and he's alone. His family is nowhere and there's never time to ask Founder Five about his family because they're chasing the Kugelblitz. Five watches himself die there and he doesn't even know if he succeeded on the only thing that's mattered to him for his entire life - if he saved his family. Not only that, but Founder Five tells him to fail and not save his family (the world, but).
I think it's the combo of that that fucks Five up real bad. He has to face his mortality in a way that he hasn't before, in that everything he's done to survive to this point might have been meaningless.
On a much more general level, I also think that watching yourself die would fuck anyone up and make you really consider death in a way you never have before.
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