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amostimprobabledream · 7 days ago

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Her Shadow Walks Beside Me (Byakuya Kuchiki x Reader) - Part One

Angst idea that came to me, I've never written Byakuya before but here it is anyway!

It was a truth universally acknowledged that Byakuya Kuchiki adored his late wife.

Alongside that universal truth, there came an implication: no other would ever measure up to her.

It was not an auspicious start.

With peace comes other ways of problem solving besides battle. And the fact was that Soul Society had lost a lot of officers and a lot of it had been wrecked in the Quincy invasion. The only thing left was to build everything again from the ground up, except better, stronger.

Which is where you came in. Or rather, your family did. You would never have suggested something like this yourself – you barely know Byakuya Kuchiki, for fuck’s sake. He was just a passing figure in the distance, regal and elegant but with a faint air of hostility, like a swan. Best observed from afar.

But your misgivings paled in comparison to the pedigree of your family name. You may not have belonged to one of the four great Shinigami families, but well, the Shiba clan had always been poor at playing by the rules and the Shihoin’s had to work hard to regain their reputation after the disgrace of their heir running off with a criminal (that the criminal was Urahara Kisuke, who had been pardoned and was instrumental in the war seemed to be waved away too quickly, in your opinion).

The point was, you were an eligible match for a noble and the Kuchiki clan wasn’t going to repopulate itself the way it was now – especially since a few of the Elders often grumbled out of Byakuya’s earshot that, strictly speaking, the girl he called sister was not, technically, a Kuchiki by blood. Therefore, it still fell on Byakuya’s shoulders to keep the line going and they weren’t above nudging him in the right direction.

You had no idea what your family, or his for that matter, had said to him to make Byakuya agree to the match. They couldn’t exactly force him, especially not after everything that had happened with his first wife, and it had not been all that long for Shinigami standards that he had lost her. He could have refused on the grounds he was still grieving.

And yet, your parents had excitedly informed you, he had agreed.

He said yes. To you.

You’d barely even spoken to the man before. You knew him mostly by reputation and you were sure he knew nothing about you, except that you had a pushy family and enough pedigree to keep the clan elders quiet.

But who were you to question any of this? You were lucky, you knew that. This was a match that many would kill for, and you didn’t even have to do anything to make it happen, there was no risk of you making a bad impression and ruining everything. It had all been decided.

So…why did you feel so…empty?

You stood before the mirror, staring at yourself. No expense had been spared for your wedding robes – the shiromuku was undoubtedly beautiful, white with red silk flowers embroidered carefully down it, the fine thread gleaming faintly in the light. But the vividness of the red against its white background only put you in mind of fresh blood on the snow.

You fidgeted with the collar of your robe, drowning in the finery and wishing you could go outside and breathe for a second, shed the weight that seemed to be pinning you to the floor.

The door opened and a servant girl bowed deeply to you. She didn’t give you any platitudes about how beautiful you looked, and you were glad of that, you weren’t really interested in hearing compliments right now. Especially when you didn’t think you looked anything near beautiful. “Milady, it’s time.” She said.

“Yeah,” you replied, relishing the taste of the informality on your tongue. “I know.” ~ Byakuya was every bit as beautiful and remote as he looked in his captain’s haori, waiting at the end of the aisle. The scent of incense was so strong in the air it made your nose twitch, and you had to fight back the urge to sneeze. Byakuya’s steely grey eyes seemed to skewer you as you approached, your gait slow as you were weighed down by your wedding robes. Heat crawled over your skin as everyone watched you, judging your every move. Your throat felt dry, and you were keenly aware of your armpits growing damp with sweat. Just get through it. It’s just a few more minutes. You tell yourself.

You observed Byakuya from beneath your eyelashes as the priest talked – you’re not really listening to him, to be honest. His words sound garbled, like he’s talking from down the other side of a long tunnel. Instead, you took the chance to discreetly observe Byakuya’s impassive face, trying to get answers.

Who are you? What are you thinking? How are you feeling? It’s like looking at a still pond. You know there’s movement going on underneath, that he must be feeling as conflicted as you, but you’d never know it by looking at him. Suddenly, his eyes darted to yours like he could sense your gaze.

And then suddenly, the priest was done talking and it was time to drink the three cups of sake. You’re grateful for something to soothe your throat, which feels like you swallowed sand. The cups are pleasingly cold in your hands, and you have the excuse of staring at them, pretending to be concentrating on not dropping them.

It's only when you drank to your future that you looked at Byakuya – well, your husband, now.

Husband. What an odd thing to say. The priest gave his official blessing, and you jolted – you’d been lost in a maelstrom of conflicting emotions and the rest of the room had faded away. Now it came roaring back with alarming clarity.

Your parents looked annoyingly smug as the people around you gave a loud toast and blessings. Byakuya bore all this with the regal dignity expected of a Kuchiki. You just stared down at the ring glinting on your hand. ~ Fortunately, it wasn’t hard for you to slip away. You may have been the bride, but the wedding wasn’t really for your benefit. You were more like an accessory to the proceedings, and it wasn’t difficult for you to claim you were exhausted and slink off down a corridor.

You got a maid to help you out of your suffocating robes and into something lighter and instantly you felt like you could breathe more easily. Even when it was time to head to the Kuchiki estate, it seemed to you like the hardest part was over. It was gorgeous – like you’d expected anything less. You tilted your head back to admire the cherry blossom trees that swayed gently in the breeze, sending petals descending gracefully. Even Byakuya’s front path was beautiful. It was almost starting to get a little annoying. You were shown into a large room that was light and airy, and you were relieved to see refreshments had been provided in advance. The room was immaculately made up, no doubt the household staff had been working like fiends to get everything ready. Byakuya didn’t know your taste, but well, money made up for a lot of things.

Yet as you cast your eyes across the room, its largeness and elegance served as a mocking echo to you, that you could possibly worthy of such finery. Your family may have been high-ranking, but this was another thing entirely. With a small sigh and feeling the beginnings of a headache, you crossed the room and sat at the table, pouring yourself some tea. It was a bit too sweet compared to how you usually took it, but it was nice. To have this moment of solace in a chaotic day of being stared at and judged, even if you’d managed to finish the wedding without bringing shame on your family. You didn’t even have time to react when the door suddenly opened with a soft hiss and a click and Byakuya stood in the space, light pouring in behind him. Hastily you stood up, knocking your knee against the underside of the table and wincing. “Welcome back.” You said, lamely.

Byakuya gave a small nod in acknowledgement, stepping over the threshold and out of his shoes, leaving them behind on the veranda. He had changed out of his wedding robes as well, though he looked no less intimidating for it. “Hello.” He said in a formal tone of voice, like he was greeting a colleague he was vaguely acquainted with him. You almost expected him to ask you what you were doing in his house. You stared at each other for a moment, then you hurried to say something. “Um.” You said, which isn’t the best start. You cleared your throat and tried again. “Lord Kuchiki- “ Instantly you knew you’d said the wrong thing – the look he gave you was full of scorn, like you’d spilled tea over a mahogany table. “You are my wife.” He intoned, as if you could possibly have forgotten that. “Such formal address is hardly necessary.”

You swallowed, feeling like one of his underlings he’s scolding.

“You’re right, of course.” You said, a little flustered, but you’re determined to keep going. “It’s just, well, we may be married but we barely know each other. I know things have been, um, rushed, but…”

You trailed off for a second. Thinking these things was one thing, but having Byakuya staring at you with that wintry look of disapproval was another thing entirely. Or perhaps it’s simply how his features settled when he’s thinking, you’re not sure. There’s so much about him for you to discover.

“Well, I look forward to getting to know you.” You finished, a little anticlimactically, but you’re proud of yourself for making the first move.

Byakuya looked at you and it’s the first time you’ve noticed some kind of spark of interest in his face. No doubt he was told you were some quiet and abiding woman who likes tea ceremonies and calligraphy and wouldn’t challenge him on anything. Not that there’s anything wrong with tea ceremonies or calligraphy, but you doubted very much he knew anything real about you.

“I wished to say something to you as well,” Byakuya said gravely, not looking directly at you but staring off at some point over your shoulder.

“Yes?”

Another pause, even more weighty than the last one.

“The situation…admittedly is not ideal.” Byakuya said slowly. He wandered over to the window, which showed the courtyard in a dreamy twilit hue now, the sun having set not too long ago. “And I expect this marriage to go very differently from the first.”

Considering your last one died after five years, I should hope so. You think, a little acerbically.

“As you say, we hardly know one another. It would be absurd to imagine there is any feeling between us. I think for the moment, it would be best if we slept in separate rooms.” He’s not wrong, but there’s a clenching inside you that is not post-wedding butterflies. Obviously, you know that he doesn’t love you, nor do you love him, but does he have to describe how things are so coldly?

But he’s not done.

“I will not come to your bed tonight.” He said with finality. “At some point my clan will be expecting me to sire an heir, but you may rest assured, that will not be any time soon. It would be of no benefit for anyone to try to force things along.”

With that he turned to you. “Goodnight.”

And he left, without looking back, without even looking you in the face. In a way it’s a blessing he didn’t, so he didn’t see the stricken expression you knew had formed across your features. You were good at schooling your reactions, but not that good. Not when your newly minted husband tells you he has no desire to have sex with you. He hadn’t even kissed you. You struggled to remember if he’d even touched you beyond putting a hand on your arm to steady you as you walked.

So that was how it was going to be.

#Byakuya Kuchiki x Reader #Bleach #Bleach x Reader #Fanfiction #Reader-Insert

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