#since she asked for the analysis
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katyspersonal · 9 months ago
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who do you think fucked up worse…gehrman or maria?
This is an interesting question, and I kind of didn't think of it before! Time to take a closer look at their crimes I guess. Some of these will be held on the possibilities and 'safe assumptions' though and addressed for the full picture!
1) Both were involved in Fishing Hamlet massacre!
With Maria, we can conclude as much because she discarded her weapons in the well at the place specifically. Her version in the Nightmare realm, a Hunter again, is supposed to be what punishes her, and she is focused on keeping Kos/OoK away from rummaging through. Considering the nature of the Nightmare, as well as the Doll who has spiritual connection with her, it should come from her guilt and regrets rather than.. I dunno, discarding the hunt over natural 'character development' and just picking a cool place to forsaken her past!
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Gehrman sleeps better according to the dialogue Doll has after you kill OoK and free it's soul, so if it tortured him so, I think it is safe to say he had to be personally involved too rather than stay back while his students did the job:
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They both were involved with Byrgenwerth, following their quest for obtaining the eyes of the dwellers from their skulls, and I suppose cord of OoK?
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The thing about this point is that the description is written as though it was Gehrman's curiosity which ruined Maria's "idealisation" of him, or WOULD ruin it had she learned of it! This makes me wonder whether she was really involved in Byrgenwerth all that much, or whether she was aware of the real purpose of Fishing Hamlet massacre beforehand? Her goal, within the Nightmare, is stated to mercy-kill us so we don't allow that curiousity corrupt us to the point of "rummaging through corpse" and similar things, further supported by her visceral attack being an embrace if it is lethal!
I am just saying that here the balance might slightly shift towards making Gehrman 'worse' than her. Maybe she was not aware that it all was not just killing "monsters" but also a pregnant mother with her divine baby, but "well you didn't ask :/". Maybe Gehrman deceived her to use her aid. Maybe he didn't think it would be a big deal for her seeing that Maria was also interested in evolution through talking with Great Ones, and assumed she'd be just as callous about which means to accomplish the goals with?
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2) Both were grave-robbing, or at least okay with that!
This one is a little less obvious, but Tomb Prospectors were not the first to go to the Chalice Dungeons! ...It were actually Willem, Dores and Gatekeeper lol:
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BUT ALSO it were Old Hunters! We can see the remnants of it by Old Hunter Vitus being one the summons in Chalice Dungeons, hear Gehrman encourage us to go into the Chalice Dungeons to become stronger as via "tradition" of the Old Hunters,
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and the fact that one of the things that torture Maria (again, remember that Nightmare Realm is Hell that punishes) is a Chalice:
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(A video ( x ) for a better look at the Chalice from a figure)
I'd say that it is not very nice to disturb the undead Pthumerians just struggling in remains of their civilisation! Interesting thing: we can conclude they are even staying there to protect the Great Ones or their remains!
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There has been some sort of civil war between ancient great-ones-respecting Pthumerians and who late became Cainhurst nobles! Maria, ironically, fell onto the side of "entitled guys" descendants! But yes, I could see why bullying zombie guys to get more history and archeology relics from them might not seem like much for her at start. Experience in the Fishing Hamlet likely retroactively ruined this period of her life for her: delving into Chalice Dungeons was likewise 'not leaving the corpse alone'. The remaining Pthumerians were right having some honour and dignity. So, that came to haunt her in the form of Pthumeru Chalice. Gehrman is.. well he's here too I guess dfshfdhs
3) Both knew a little too much about Laurence's shady business and did nothing?
Old Hunters used to be friends with Healing Church's Hunters and even had their workshops located close to one another! Gehrman was friends with Laurence and Ludwig, who are both quite strongly involved with Moon Presence (Ludwig's sword and guidance, Laurence's affiliation being known since Byrgenwerth times), as well as the key figure in creation of Hunter's Dream:
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This was most likely a bait-and-switch, seeing how the cord itself is still in the real Workshop, and not in the grasp of Moon Presence (unlike, say, Wet Nurse taking Mergo's cord)! I think the purpose of creation of the Hunter's Dream was to "buy time" for the research conceived by the scientists! Remember: Gehrman was known to have "madness of curiosity" that Maria resented, or at least would resent had she known! He might have been fully aware of what Laurence wanted to do and support it! My point here, that with such proximity, he must have known of all Laurence's crimes and agreed with them!
Maria was at least overseer of the Clocktower's Research Hall, which, again, was just beta!Choir.
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This last line IS a bit confusing, because it makes it sound as though the nerds looking for the Eyes Inside and the Blood Ministers got split. Laurence and Ludwig make it weird, as Moon Presence is also an Eldrich creature and Ludwig is for sure full of eyes! What also makes it strange is that Choir, and then School of Mensis, are both upper echelons of the Healing Church, but Laurence is supposed to be above both of them.
I think this can be worked with! Let's say what if Choir formed after Laurence's death, which also happened after Maria's death, and Vicars after him were somewhat "powerless" and walked over by Choir and Mensis, only leaders in the name! But that still leaves the bit that the mentioned "division" happened after Choir was formed! Maria and Adeline, however, are locked to the existence of the Research Hall, so, the timeframe when doctors and blood ministers were 100% working together! We find the Eye Pendant that opens the access to the Research Hall in Laurence's hand, and human Skull of Laurence on the platform that hides the secret elevator to that Research Hall. Again, by the Nightmare Logic, they must be connected with Laurence's sins: he started this research, or sponsored it, or was overseeing it, and so on.
This point is not an absolute thing though, because one or both of them might be freed from guilt here. Maybe Gehrman was not as informed and agreeable as we could assume and Laurence did lead him around? Maybe Maria wanted but could not do anything being caught in the web of complicated connections, blackmail and risks for the people she cared about?
4) Both are willingly involved in questionable practices (Maria with research, Gehrman with the cycle of Dream and Hunt)
This point I feel like transcends the morality a little bit, as it touches the matter of 'it is bad if you do it, but it is also bad if you DON'T do it'. I really love Soulsborne universes for having guts to say "you can't win, just pick your poison", but I think it is still worth addressing!
It is up to interpretation in which quantity Maria is involved with the Research Hall! Nothing states whether she founded it, joined in the research later, stepped in and turned the tides (ba dum tss) of the research, or simply was a caretaker/nurse/etc of the broken mess while Research Hall was getting ready for a bit of rebranding. She can be very guilty, or she can be barely guilty but in either case if that was her "redemption arc" that was a pretty bad way to go about it. ...or was it?
Fauxsefka turns people into Celestial Emissaries so they physically can't become beasts instead, and is even stated to be a hero / heroic researcher by Miyazaki:
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First, I don't do Death of the Author (in terms of interpreting media I mean, not in terms of a style of writing)! Like, nope. Never. It is just not for me. Creator's word is the final for me; Fauxsefka is the good guy in the story, apparently, and it makes sense considering the fundamentally broken place characters are in! Maria has similarities with Fauxsefka: not only both of them have Cainhurst roots, but also both of them seem to favour 'Stars' line of evolution for humans!
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Whereas other patients are afraid of the horrors of the Deep Sea, a concept Miyazaki could not get over well into DS3, Adeline desires them! Other patients seems to have gotten it right, and you can see one of them also clings to Maria mentally to "not drown"; Adeline "didn't understand"! The balcony that Maria wants Adeline to go to so she can forsaken the Deep Sea and seek something "happier" holds unique kind of patients who can shoot cosmic arcane spells:
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Herself, Maria is associated with these lumenflowers: their petals are all over her boss arena, and the way to her lays through a much bigger batch of flowers, where Living Failures, other 'Stars' Kin are, whose song lyrics also feature lines 'ave stellar' and 'ave Maria'!
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So, how this is different from what Fauxsefka is doing, who is stated to be as much of a good person as possible within this context and with the burden of her knowledge? Fauxsefka was doing more or less rinse-and-repeat practice, with maybe a few patients not surviving the procedure but we don't know what happened: maybe that person was already at the brink of death and she tried to make them live like this.
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^ This guy I mean. Maria, on the other hand, is in the time period where the doctors and scientists were only testing the waters (BA DUM TSSS) (ok I will stop) and it was not SO certain what was at the stake, what were the alternatives, what was awaiting the humanity. It is even possible that the beasts problem was not yet bad to the point of "you'll either become a beast, be eaten by a beast or become a Kin, humanity is DONE for!" ! This was an unethical research at the cost of real people! The weight of Maria's sin here really depends on the interpretation, though
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As for the cycle of Dream and Hunt, this is complicated and lingers on one's interpretation of what the purpose of the Dream even IS! Its existence provides two things: 1) a hunter who is immortal for the night, thus can sustain the beasts with efficiency like no other, but also effect the continuity of the night ( x ) and 2) supposed sustenance to the Great One Flora of the Moon, who holds the hunt as a concept!
I used to be a bit more set on the idea that if beasts are not sustained and hunted, they will simply overpower those who are yet humans and eat them! It is a self-feeding cycle of people needing to self-defend from beasts, thus having to consume the blood as urgent means of healing and power-up since beasts are too strong, thus risking to become beasts themselves because the blood they consumed during that hunt corrupts them. So, the Hunter's Dream would be a good thing, as it'd help to 'buy time' during nights of the hunt in which not only beasts are more active but Great Ones too! While the Dreaming Hunter holds everything together, the greatest minds of the Healing Church can efficiently study the ways to end beasthood, or ANY problem of humanity, once and for all! It is just better to throw the hunting resources on the Dream, so the scientists don't worry about the beasts and can focus on research. However, I almost forgot that:
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This implies that had there not been Mensis Ritual ongoing, people WOULD have the chance to simply 'wait away' the beasthood problem. That, since Rom is not stopping Mensis Ritual but just conceals it, what really makes the inner beast within everyone who consumed the blood inevitably come out is Mergo's cry that draws the Bloodmoon close!
So yeah, the point about Hunter's Dream being helpful for the research of evolution still stands, especially under assumption that the deal with Moon Presence helped to bring more Eldrich Arcane close for "feeding" her. The point about how if the beasts are not hunted they'll simply eat everyone, though, is vague. It is safer to assume that the Hunter's Dream and Research Hall both are both example of hubris of man even if approached differently. Attempts to draw in something dangerous and horrifying, but it is "justified risk" because if you manage to 'tame' arcane/blood, sure, humanity will prosper!
Like... yeah, sure, there IS dangerous and undesireable nature of man that ruins everything and might or might not still linger in humanoids' genes after Loran. But did humanity ASK any of you guys to keep trying to fix it with so many victims and sacrifices? Like, was it WORTH it?
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This point is closely tied to 'knowing Laurence's bad antics and doing nothing', yeah. Maria didn't seem to like blood ministration very much, as she disapproved of Adeline becoming a Blood Saint, but she also didn't even approve of blood antics of her own clan! I am not sure what would be her opinion on the Hunter's Dream had she lived to the point when it was created, just that she herself is not willing to ever hunt, so I am leaving this point aside. Is this just blood ministration that she opposes but proximity with a Great One Moon Presence would be something she can see the potential of? Or would she and Gehrman have a pointless cat fight about whose methods are better when they are both hubris of man? In both versions they are 'guilty'! Besides:
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In the end none of THIS matters either and everyone was fooled ( x ). The blood offering is a blood offering in any way; whether it is through spilling blood violently during the hunt, or offering the blood's 'red' with how celestial Kin all bleed red. Moon doesn't care what paints it red, in the end.
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My conclusion is: both of these characters fucked up almost equally! I think the balance shifts just a little bit and Maria is slightly better than Gehrman since she had some limitations set on how far she was willing to go. Her motivation was not in "curiosity" but strictly in helping humanity, even if in unfair ways, which is apparently not the case for Gehrman?
I'll say this though, NOW I am hooked on the idea of Maria and Gehrman being petty "rivals" ideologically (for as long as they could before Maria's own demons caught up with her). Especially since neither approach is better than the other and they are both cringe loosers! Again, lost comedy gold over Fromsoft making Gehrman's tender and warm feelings for her before and after her death plain. What is not lost, however, is the fact that the two should just kick Laurence and go home :pensive:
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wickmitz · 4 months ago
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what do you think mitzi’s type in men is?
hmm, this is a fun little ask! especially since her love interests, on a surface level, couldn’t be more different. we have :
zib : former long term boyfriend but not quite … they were very loose with labels, as we know from outside information and the way zib lives life in general. but despite this, whatever feelings fostered between them were intense ; enough so for him to stick around years later, resigned to a chained down lifestyle simply because he doesn’t want to leave mitzi. he’s very loyal in that sense! even if it’s not a conventional type of loyalty. we know that before bitterness seeped inbetween their bond that zib took good care of her, while also being a complete mess of a person ; someone perpetually scared whenever physical conflict is concerned and being a musically inclined man who very much treats himself as a free spirit, with a morbid philosophy and feel towards life. he’s got a major tortured artist aesthetic!! is a little gripped by melancholy and nostalgia … zib is a lot of things, and ambitious is surprisingly one of the many puzzle pieces that make up dorian zibowski.
atlas : ruthless gangster, has an eerie presence that frightens even the people closest to him. he is prone to a more quiet disposition ; never speaking and always a blot of unremarkable grey. but he is an opportunist! someone who can manage a business and take advantage of shortcuts and loopholes to become even more successful … basically he is wealthy and uses his assets well. but all of this is done with a manner of distance, leaving even those closest to him never having the full picture of who he was. it’s also worth noting that mitzi and him had eventual problems, which caused her to seperate. also perhaps has a heart of some kind, but whatever love he possesses is hidden under layers of blood and mystery.
wick : well-to-do bore, and i say this with all the love in the world for wick! but compared to previous paramours he’s rather clean and talkative … there is a constant earnestness to him that bleeds out, an honesty and a more conventional sort of kindness. he doesn’t hide behind smoke and mirrors and there’s never really a front he puts up around mitzi -- or his investors for that matter, hence why he’s treated as an ‘outsider’ so to speak. he is an alcoholic who loathes the details of his job but is more than passionate about the job itself and makes this everyone’s problem … he is a little helpless, in the sense he’d die without someone there to make sure he functions … and is, like zib, perpetually afraid of conflict. can be a little wishywashy and can come across as uncaring due to his cheeky tone … but he’s loyal and caring, with a hobby for the unusual ( bugs and rocks lol ) as well as being able to look past the gossip mill and see the actual mitzi may as he knows her, someone who’s going through a rough time and is either too kind or classy to be a brutal killer. he is hypocritical, a little snobby, and rather forward with mitzi too. kind of a flirt when he wants to be!
something that immediately stands out to me when looking at this lineup is that mitzi doesn’t enjoy a violent man. i don’t think she loathes someone who can so brutally or clinically remove others from this earth, but if she were to go for someone they’d usually be sweeter in a sense. it meshes well with her old personality and kinder heart, perhaps brings it out in her, and that sort of levity and breeziness is more enjoyable than, say, being fully aware of the dangers that lurk around every corner because the man you’re beside is prone to bringing it. she also enjoys more talkative types, someone who’s less quiet and demure and serious, and is keen on her men having a hobby they care deeply for ; some sort of long term goal to work towards doesn’t hurt either. and because of some scenes in the comic, i’m a firm believer that mitzi wants someone who can make her smile or laugh with ease, whether because they’re ridiculous by nature or genuinely funny! she has a sort of funny bone herself, enamored with gallow’s humor and darker jokes, so having someone who either a.) reacts hilariously in the face of her jokes or b.) who can return that energy with teasing or their own brand of silly is desirable. everyone could use a good laugh or two, a sense of joy injected into the bustling life they all live, and this all ties back to mitzi being more drawn towards the less stuffy types of men.
so atlas seems to be an outlier when it comes to her type in many ways, hence the later problems they apparently had in their relationship even if she did love him dearly. but, of course, atlas did have something very appealing to her that zib had failed to give, which she rather fondly recalls in the comic page vestige. whether zib likes acknowledging it or not, mitzi wasn’t as gungho about their normad life as he was … or, at the very least, when she lived another life besides that one, she realized she had a preference! and atlas gave her that path, that knowledge that she wanted something else, and seemingly for the very first time in her life … she felt like a proper lady, a feeling that clearly meant a lot to her. it wasn’t just the dresses or the wealth, it was the constant eye of atlas who could have any dame he wanted, but fancied her his wife regardless. it was having someone so respectable looking, dressed well and groomed well, being able to see her as something other than a sweating, exposed girl in a bawdy dress. atlas’s seemingly polite treatment towards mitzi was enough to garner her affections in spite of everything else, so i think she enjoys that now in others, ; folks who treat her as though she’s a woman in high society, men who don’t gawk at her or make lewd remarks immediately … she probably prefers the courting process now and the quaint dates ( that she doesn’t pay for, mind you ) that come along with it. she just -- likes mutual respect, i think. and who doesn’t? she’s been through a lot to get to where she is now, even if it’s a bad predicament, and she’d like for that to amount to something. some sort of acknowledgment, some kind of recognition.
however, it’s worth mentioning that her views on romance and all that it entails have been warped since the death of her husband. such a loss would change how anyone approaches their dating life, if they were to even have one afterwards … after all, mitzi’s whole problem is that she doesn’t want to move on from atlas and has thus completely romanticized him in her head, to the point that she earnestly believes she’ll be miserable forever without his presence. any problems she had with atlas have long since been erased by her tortured mind, leaving her with a profound misery she’s wallowing in. i think she believes herself as incapble of romantic or sexual inclinations nowdays, leading her to view the advances made towards wick as a necessary ‘evil’ for the sake of atlas may and little else -- when she genuinely does like sedgewick to a degree, and wouldn’t go on dates or kiss a man unless some part of her honestly wanted to do so. ( i also think she was attracted to wick somewhat even while married to atlas, but that’s besides the point ) so this is all a rather complicated affair! she is vulnerable and weak, is too aware of herself and the criminal underbelly squeezing in closer … add this on top of her still heavily grieving and having no one she feels she can talk to, you have someone who is rather changed. mitzi is so far removed from herself and who she truly is, or was, that there’s no doubt it’s affected her type ; now she’ll settle for anyone if they’ll just help her, and even then she’d be dispassionate if romantic entanglement of any kind was involved in that relationship. it’s not something she wants right now, and honestly, it all seems scary and daunting … besides atlas, zib was the only other man she’s ever loved enough to stay around for, so she’s never faced a loss like this before. has kept zib throughout all the turmoil and changes -- so this is, as far as we know, her first major loss where it concerns matters of the heart. it’s not shocking she’s so messed up after it, especially given how fresh it all still is. all of this rambling is to say that mitzi’s a little more stingy and cagey then she used to be about love or sex, and she has a lot of inner battles to face before she can fall for someone and be sure about it. needs to thaw, i think, and she would require patience and understanding from anyone who actually wanted to be with her. mitzi could move on with time ( i do not think she’s the type of widow who’d never date again! ) but it would take quite some time to do so. well, in a world where she’s allowed / is able to heal anyway!
while her type would probably remain the same, i could see her wanting a serious relationship more than she did prior to the death of her husband. has no energy for the loopholes, or the rationalizations, or the fickle nature that can grip someone’s heart. she has matured in a lot of ways since her band days and would take comfort in frivolous things like labels and promises of a future, together, as lovers. while what she had with zib was nice and is cherished alongside the freedom to do as she pleased while on the road with the band, i don’t think she misses it. having the stability and assurance of an actual relationship, with all the hardships that come with it, would be better suited for her. as long as she’s treated like an equal of course! i don’t think she’d be keen on her partner hiding anything from her, even if it’s meant to protect her, due to where that put mitzi when atlas was killed. she’d rather know and be disgusted, or worried, or scared than to not know about something at all until it’s too late … again. naturally patience and compassion would also be of importance, as would the usual things she loves like loyalty and a passion for something in life. and while never required, she’d be happy if the person possessed even a singular musical bone in their body! she still thinks artists, particularly musicans, are sexy after all … likes the angst and brooding that comes with it, the slight flare towards the dramatics … as long as they can handle mitzi in her pitiful entirety and do, to some degree, care deeply for her and will compromise … i think she could find some happiness wherever. bonus points if she can live comfortably for the rest of her days too, lord knows she’s tired of the constant battle of hucking and bargaining.
but yeah! mitzi’s love life is vast and complex and i definitely see her as someone who is more flexible in type than other people are. though there are similarities between her suitors if you really look! anyway, i hope i was able to briefly touch upon this subject because my shipping brain loved your question and kinda went into overdrive, alas. tldr ; her ideal type is wick sable. sorry. once wick learns an instrument the wedding is back on!! … i’m kidding lol. well, mostly <3
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tfdtreasurer · 6 months ago
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<3 erinep!!
i have no real reason for liking it as much as i do, maybe im just weird ?
Not weird at all anon!
You say you have no reason but I can think of plenty. Erinep is one of those ships that I'm shocked isn't more popular. In many ways, they have an interesting dynamic that makes for good storytelling.
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They're both trolls kind of known for their unrequited crushes, so it makes intuitive narrative sense to have them get over it through each other. Nepeta's flaw is that she lacks the courage to make romantic advances out of fear of failure. Eridan's flaw is that she makes romantic advances with the expectation of failure and thus creates self fulfilling prophesies of rejection.
Eridan is so weird...
It's their flaws that led to the canonical obstacle to them as a ship, the fact that they have gotten off to a rocky start romantically. Eridan having gossiped with Karkat, is aware that Nepeta has feelings for somebody else, but in true Eridan fashion, attempts to ask her out anyways. Nepeta thus diagnoses her as a creep and insincere. Considering that my own interpretation of Eridan is based on insincerity and how weird Alternian society makes you, yeah I'd call that fair. Creep is certainly strong language that would suggest little chance for romance developing but lets not forget whose Nepeta's moirail is, and what she calls him in her own words. She's well aware that hemospectrum hangups lead people to be way weirder than they really would be, and as one of the most compassionate trolls, she's probably sympathetic to that. It is in the same conversation that you get her calling Eridan insincere that you get her feeling bad that she died. Because Nepeta is just that nice.
Getting over it
That being said, they still both require some character development to make the ship work, which from a storytelling perspective, is good. They don't need to be each other's moirails or anything, I approve of Meowrails and would not want to disrupt that, so other characters can help drive their development instead (*Cough cough,* Kanaya, but this is the erinep post). Nepeta has two main paths: giving up passively and not asking Karkat, or ripping the band-aid off and asking him out. The second option is in my mind the best for character development as it provides closure. However, there's also a parallel narrative decision to be made: does Eridan tell her what will happen, since she knows, or will she let Nepeta ask Karkat out anyways. I'm a complicated girl and so I think the third and most emotionally complicated option is the best: have Eridan encourage her to ask Karkat out. It's in keeping with Eridan's approach to Kanaya's crush on Vriska, and isn't necessarily mutually exclusive with Eridan telling her what will happen. They can have a conversation where she warns Nepeta what happened with her, the emotions she felt, but also recognize the necessity of asking anyways. It'd be a good moment for Eridan's character to develop too, recontextualizing for herself her rejection by Feferi. And bam, voila, hey presto, you've got them both taking their first stepping stone of emotional maturity together. From adversity, progress.
Feferi's #1 hater propaganda
If you see this blog you should know that I'm Feferi's #1 hater, and so Eridan perhaps being honest with somebody would lead to her revealing why she was such a desperate loser in past (the breakup+rejection combo leading to messy pinball-like attempt at rebounding). And while getting over the flush crush is required for both of them, I believe Nepeta would be kind of shocked at the nature of Eridan's moirallegience. What do you mean she just started calling you her moirail? She didn't consult you about that? What do you mean she thought the job was over after entry? She thought weirdo behavior stops on a dime? What do you mean she knew that you didn't appreciate it and she went on with it anyways? What do you mean she expected it to be a two way street? Me and my healthy moirail were always super clear about being moirails, and of course I stuck with him after entry. The gig with my own weirdo is practically full time, but you do it because your genuine feelings for the person. I did it because my efforts were appreciated by someone that recognized their issues as issues and wanted me to be their moirail. Hell, if you're going to change canonical events that allow all noncanonical shipping to happen, you might as well give Nepeta one successful "shipping moment" (the irony is not lost on me, shut up) by letting her matchmake Eridan with a moirail that would care about her (*COUGH. COUGH.* kan, but like also while I don't care about the recent pale erikar trend, that could be hella character moment for Nepeta to make that call).
Hunters
If your interpretation of Eridan emphasizes her brief environmental commentary, the fact that Nepeta lives fairly detached from industrialized society makes how they relate to each other interesting. Nepeta is if anything characterized as being very not wasteful, and in her own words: "i dont kill anything i dont eat, that would be mean." This stands in direct contrast with Eridan who has resigned to how her occupation may be infinitely necessary and entirely justified, but is distinctly evil in purpose and function. It helps that although orphaning doesn't appear especially wasteful (the whole whale does get eaten), it draws on historical industrial whaling which was infamously wasteful. There's something very interesting there between, again, the most compassionate troll hunting for herself, and the orphaner hunting for somebody else. It would be an emotionally complicated mix of sympathy and disgust, made part tragic by the fact that Eridan transparently expects the disgust, but would be absolutely flabbergasted by sympathy. It continues the cute but somewhat tumultuous path that I think characterizes some of the best love stories.
Extra
There's also a few other little things that can tie them together and make good stories out of their ship.
If you see Equius' overprotectiveness of Nepeta as a significant flaw, he can be given development by Nepeta properly dunking on Eridan during a low stakes lover's spat. Proving that although she may have not played FLARP with the rest of the "dangerous" trolls, she's no less capable of handling herself. You can play it for comedy as it's always fun to see Eridan dunked on, and Nepeta could ride her around by the horns like a Left for Dead jockey as Equius looks on proudly. For anti sea dweller reasons maybe? We'll keep working on it, Equius.
Speaking of FLARP, they're both RP dorks. Common on alternia so perhaps nothing really special, but the distinction between FLARP and RP is more significant than the distinction between LARP and RP (astonishing, I know). FLARP, an acronym which is already losing its meaning to me, is kinda psychotic and so I'm inclined to agree with Equius that it should be avoided. Nepeta toning Eridan down from FLARP+orphaning that was her hobby to a more healthy and low stakes RP would be both awkward and cute. Plus it can serve as a character moment for Eridan where the orphaner dualscar character is retired and she can fully embrace the 🌠 wwonderful wwhimsy of wwizardry 🌠.
And sometimes it's just the silly little things that can justify a ship. Maybe the cat likes fish. Maybe the military history nerd likes trenchcoats.
IDK, erinep is just cute. Solidly approved, anon, erinep has been placed in the "works really well" tier just below GOATED tier.
Whew, yet another tantric Homestuck analysis sesh. People insane enough to have read to the end: Don't forget that hopping anonymously in the asks to suggest Eridan ships for me to spend time analyzing is entirely free.
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mimiruku · 3 months ago
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I WAS WAITING 🥳🥳🥳😈😈😈 QUESTIONS FOR MIRUKU!!
All under Catmint - Ferocity, Courage and Quarrelsomeness!!
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█   𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐂 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⸻ ( ⚝ )
Here we go again with my ridiculously late answers, but thank you for always humoring me and sending questions in, Melon! I hope your day is going well !
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╰┈┈➤   𝑪𝒂𝒕𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒕 - 𝑭𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚, 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔.
───  01.  How quick is your OC to anger? Can they fly into a fury, seemingly out of nowhere? Or does it gradually build like a gathering storm? Infrequent & quick to relinquish. By default, Miruku is not an angry person nor does he have the capacity to hold onto anger. It's an emotion that is more often than not replaced by dejection and despondency, he's more likely to express disappointment and sadness rather than anger. He also values his comfort enough to not gather and bottle most negative emotions he comes across, this side of him helps relieves his displeasures.
However, person as he is, some disturbances cannot be avoided, the handful of times he had been truly angered were moments that debilitated him wholly physically. It is a foreign emotion he does not really know how to handle, it makes him physically ill as a result.
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───  02. What motivates your OC to be courageous? A sense of honour or duty? A need to maintain a reputation for fearlessness? A bloody-minded refusal to be pushed around? A wish to protect the vulnerable? The need to win against all odds?
Miruku is not a courageous individual, though at first glance he may seem bold and fearless, his truth is stranger than fiction ! His fear response is thoroughly impaired, unable to properly react to danger cues. He could be aware that something or someone is dangerous but fear is alarmingly dulled, fortunately he was taught to curate his well-being and safety first and foremost.
This affliction, while worrisome to his love ones, had proven to be quite helpful in navigating the underbelly of the mafia system. This is likely why, in spite of being a civilian, Miruku was able to wedge himself into crime and violence, though because this is not at all normal or healthy, he ends up suffering else where.
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───  03.  What subject is your OC most likely to argue about? And who are they most likely to argue about it with?
Miruku Osashima does not argue, he simply MANSPLAIN people into submission. He has this horrible way of completely ignoring what people are saying, talking over them without much of an 'anyway' to change subject. He knows what he is doing and he does not want to acknowledge your opinion whatsoever ; the subject ? Anything. ( He does this often to Momina, some kind of bullying tactic. He finds her frustrations cute. )
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───  04. Does your OC often bicker with others? Do they complain frequently? Is this due to genuine dissatisfaction or anger? Or is it done in a slightly tongue in cheek fashion?
He is pedantic without a cost, but Miruku would never claim he bickers. He banters albeit viciously in frustrating and ridiculous extent, he doesn't need to be right nor does he care to win, he only bickers and complain only to tease. He does it often enough that you'll get use to his misconduct, though admittedly if you're particularly sensitive, you'll likely feel like you're being tyrannize by a school yard bully, in some ways he is but the bully likes you a lot and things is sweet when you whine and cry.
His TORMENTOR LITE hobby however, will eventually blow up in his face. In his adulthood, this schemes hardly works with the three men that keeps him in check... Reborn, Takeshi and Dino has a special way of forcing him to behave, it's almost believable when he starts whining about how they don't actually love him and that they're sick and twisted for whatever totally reasonable thing they've put upon him. Suddenly, he knows how to bite his tongue.
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───  05. When was your OC the most angry they have ever been? What about this situation made them so angry? Was it the person who provoked them? The injustice of the situation? Or their own powerlessness in the face of circumstance?
It had been when Yuni returned with Byakuran, he didn't think he could have ever hated anyone more than he hated Yuni in that moment. Byakuran is a very unique pain that he could not begin to commiserate with. Yuni forgave Byakuran in their stead, as if she has authority to revoke the harm he had done.
His outrage will eventually melt into special ache. Yuni had made Miruku deeply and irrevocably heartbroken. He looks at her pained, but as he let goes of Byakuran, so does he with her.
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sapphire-weapon · 2 years ago
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I love RE4 remake, but if there’s one thing I feel that we were absolutely robbed of, it’s the scene when Leon attacks Ada. It had so much potential. They could have really expanded on it. We’ve seen throughout the game that Saddler can command people who are infected with the Plaga without being near them. Imagine if they had included that scene and we could actually see/hear Saddler give Leon the order to attack Ada. We could've seen Leon desperately trying to resist Saddler's control and ultimately losing the fight over his own body. We could’ve seen him trying to warn Ada as she approaches to see what's wrong, knowing that he’s not going to be able to stay in control for much longer. The scene would have also shown us that even if there is some tension between Leon and Ada, they still care about each other. This would be apparent by Leon being desperate not to hurt her, and Ada showing concern for Leon while he’s fighting with the parasite for control. Maybe this could even be when Ada finds out that Leon is infected (I’m not entirely sure if she knows at this point in the game since he never brings it up to her. She only knows that Ashley is infected, I think). The scene would've also worked as a parallel to Ashley attacking Leon earlier in the castle.
I've thought about this quite a bit tbh because I also wanted a violent Leon plaga freakout for various reasons don't kinkshame me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was removed for a reason.
Or, rather, a few reasons.
His plaga freakout in OG never really made much sense, and it definitely wouldn't make sense in the context of remake. In OG, he almost just kind of goes berserk and starts attacking Ada because... ???? The ganados attack people, I guess? But in this version of the lore, Saddler would have had to have given that order directly, and if Leon and Ada are alone in a room together, there's really no way for Saddler to know where she is, because he doesn't have full control over Leon as part of the hivemind yet. So how would he give the order? With Leon and Ashley, it was easier, because her plaga was more advanced than his was, and it's a given that if Ashley's not in the hands of the Los Illuminados, then she's with Leon.
Ada's goals in remake where Leon is concerned seem to have changed. In OG, Ada keeps checking up on Leon because she needs his mission to succeed because her plan the whole time was for him to get the sample by killing Saddler, and then she'd take it from him. So, she was always checking up on him to make sure he'd get to where she needed him to be. In remake, Ada's using him as a distraction. She makes sure that he's always pointed in the right direction so that he can go fuck shit up while she does things in the wake of his chaos -- but she doesn't need him, necessarily. It sounds like she and Wesker have a contingency plan already in place if Leon was to get killed and/or blow it. There's no need for her to be checking in on him in person this time around the way that she does in OG. So, there'd be no reason for her to approach him in order for this scene to happen in the first place. It'd run counter to Ada's character motivation this time around.
Having Leon successfully fight off Saddler's influence undercuts Saddler's power and menace as a villain. Neither Leon or Ashley successfully break away from Saddler's hold on them at any point (it seems like Saddler either lets them go voluntarily or he's reached the limit of what his influence can do with their plagas being as early in development as they are), so for Leon to randomly do that makes the threat less threatening and lowers the stakes significantly.
The scene itself is unnecessary when it comes to conveying that Leon and Ada still have concern for each other. The boat scene does a lot of heavy lifting this time around. Ada is downright warm towards him in the boat scene, and Leon conveys that he very clearly still wants to think the best of her, even if he's wary about doing it.
Their relationship is not meant to be the same in remake as it was in OG. Just. Straight up. Unlike OG, RE4R is very aware that Ada is a significant part of the trauma that Leon's still trying to process from Raccoon City. Leon distrusts Luis up until the moment of Luis's death because of what Ada did to him -- is still doing to him. In OG, that part of Leon does not exist, which is why he trusts Luis instantly in OG. For remake to put in a scene of Leon trying to fight off Saddler's influence in order to not hurt Ada, it really takes away from the efficacy of that part of his character arc, and it's a distraction from all of the ways that Ada's already hurt him. It would show that Leon is still in the same place he's always been in terms of putting everyone before himself, regardless of who they are, when that's not supposed to be who he is anymore in remake.
So. yeah. While I want plaga!Leon, too, (and also maybe wish that Ada still kneed Leon in the balls), that scene was removed for a very good reason, and I'm glad they cut it.
#resident evil 4#leon kennedy#ada wong#meta analysis#also i couldn't tell if this was a thinly veiled aeon ask#but it's probably worth mentioning that we do not respect that ship in this house#i'll acknowledge it for what it is in canon#and that tends to piss off aeon shippers because what it is in canon is unhealthy#and it directly contributes to leon's downward mental health spiral and his drinking problem#like if you didn't have red flags waving and alarm bells blaring in your head during that part in RE6#where he cradles her after she's been shot and manically begs for her to not die#like#jesus christ dudes#get your radars checked#like i always knew that leon's mental health was in a bad way#but even that moment where he admitted he's been suicidal since RE2 was not as alarming to me as that moment there ^#that was the moment where i went#oh no#leon's not fucking okay and needs help holy shit#(not really related to leon/ada at all but the other moment that made me really fuckin scared for his mental health#was in vendetta#where he's sitting there plastered and chris is yelling at him to get his shit together#and leon finally stops being a brat and opens up#and starts talking about how he feels like he's trapped in a loop where he just watches people die over and over and over again#and he says very painfully and very sincerely#'is this what my life's supposed to be?'#holy shit#the way that i did the full lisa simpson lean forward bug eyed mouth agape thing in that moment#fuck dudes#just fuck)
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pinkeoni · 1 year ago
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do you think max was characterised for a bait-and-switch final girl. preferring max than maxine, being boyish, seeming to reject the boys at first, being the one to defeat billy over steve holding his nail bat (check the castration fear threat when she slams it down to the floor between billy’s legs) while all the boys are prone bystanders. but this then falls away as her story prioritises her romance with lucas and female solidarity, and why she isn't able to escape her victim role coming to head in s4 saving herself
I don't think I mentioned this in my Will post but Max is absolutely a Final Girl, from what you said anon with her boyishness as well as her function in the story. S4 is the most slasher-y season (they even bring up Freddy Krueger by name, just in case we missed the reference) and Max is the final victim and does manage to survive, even narrowly.
There are some aspects like you said that do set her apart from common ideas of final girls although final girl-ism isn't necessarily a strict set of guidelines and there are plenty of other characters that bend the rules but are still considered to be Final Girls— Sally from Texas Chainsaw was rescued by an outside source and Sidney Prescott had a romance and even lost her virginity in the movie (albeit to the killer himself, and Scream is a film that acknowledged and tried to both embrace and subvert slasher tropes)
I see the part of your ask that asks if these parts of Max that set her apart from other Final Girls is what causes her to not be able to save herself and honestly anon... I'm not sure. I know that the Duffs originally planned to kill her which is... a decision I'm glad they went back on. And really I don't think that this eliminates her Final Girl status as I see the Final Girl as being able to endure and survive and even if she needed outside help and just barely escaped alive, she's still kicking!
Honestly I don't know if Max's rescue by El at the end of the season is meant to be a bait-and-switch and more of a half-hearted attempt to try and string two plots together. Sure it makes sense for El to want to save Max, but El's plot wasn't really about Max, Max's plot wasn't really about El, so it doesn't feel like a culmination of anything. Max was able to help herself out a little by figuring out how to "hide in the light" but after that she was just mulling around until El showed up. If anything it serves El's hero plot more than it serves Max's plot. There's some connective tissue there, but it's loose.
I know that part of Max's plot was about allowing herself to open up and let other people help her, this is a little flimsy because El wasn't the one she was keeping out and they were really only separated by distance. Would Max have shut El out if El were still in Hawkins? Probably. But the way more satisfying moment already came from Dear Billy when the people she was trying to shut out in the first place, Lucas and Dustin, not only get through to her with the music but she also makes the decision to run to them. So now with Max being able to let others in to help her, she needs to decide if she wants to allow herself to keep living.
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airenyah · 2 years ago
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i did it guys, i turned my thai drama obsession into my bachelor thesis
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mikesbasementbeets · 1 year ago
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hi :D i found ur bi max masterpost a while ago (this one: https://www.tumblr.com/mikesbasementbeets/696412509960323072/ive-been-thinking-a-lot-about-elmax-recently-and)
and in the beginning u said that there u were focusing on max, but el has a lot of queer coding too (which i fully agree on btw). i wanted to know if u have made a post about her queer coding or if u are working on one? bc i really enjoy ur posts in general :]
hi! that's very sweet, thank you. no, unfortunately i've not done any analysis on el's queer coding (but i saw that you found someone else's post about it which i think is a good read). i think i wrote that bi max analysis in like september? (yes) so it's been a while since i've revisited those thoughts, but eImax is still so dear to me and i would love to have the brain space i had back then to analyze both of them again... but maybe i will think some more on it actually if there's interest....
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bumblingbabooshka · 6 months ago
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tags from @twlvie : EXAAAAAAACTLY. People need to move beyond writing/portraying Tuvok as just 'Stock Vulcan' or 'Janeway's Long Suffering Friend' because he actually has several things deeply wrong with him that perfectly compliment the several things deeply wrong with her and analyzing their relationship is very fun. Alot of the time I see him portrayed as just 'Vulcan Who is Wise'/'Janeway's Long Suffering Friend' in fandom but his actual personality means so much to me because Janeway DOES like him very much and he DOES return those feelings to the point that he calls her his friend several times [despite claiming that Vulcans don't have friends], calls her 'irreplaceable', allows her to touch him but rarely touches her back. Janeway says she's never minded the distance between her and her crew before the delta quadrant. All of these things are interesting. They have such a strange and specific combination of intimacy and distance in their relationship due to their near consummate professionalism and commitment to rules, regulations, what they should and should not do interpersonally which they both stick to like a code of honor regardless of their own personal desires. Tuvok must behave a certain way as he is Vulcan and Janeway must behave a certain way as she is Captain. They're both sort of looking to one another for reassurance but that gaze has become corrupted wherein Tuvok agrees with her because she's the captain [this comforts him, if it's an order from the captain it's 'right' to carry it out] and Janeway takes his agreement as a moral thumbs up [this comforts her, if the approval comes from Tuvok it must be the right thing to do] even though he's stated and demonstrated to others that he'd follow her orders regardless. Tuvok never thinks of himself as suffering beside a silly reckless human - it's implied that this may have been the case when they first met but they are decades past that point now. Now they are going to kill that goddamn whale together if it's the last thing they do. "If it's you, I can do anything" they think, looking at each other, and a finger on the monkey's paw begins to curl.
People honestly portray Tuvok as far too "rolling his eyes, reluctantly going along with Janeway's silly little shenanigans" - he's literally so serious about being right there with her on every decision she makes. Janeway's like "I'm going to stay behind if the ship blows up" and Tuvok's like "I'm staying with you." Janeway's like "I'm going to deliver every member of the Equinox crew into the jaws of death via an alien revenge massacre" and Tuvok protests a grand total of one time before being fully on the bridge assisting her. He was the only one with her when she made the decision to honor the caretaker's wishes and save the Ocampa, dooming them all. He was willing to get court marshalled in order to fulfill a wish she couldn't grant by her own hand: Get them home [no matter what happens to me] <- wherein 'me' is Tuvok. This was the same wish that spurred him forward when he had to leave her on that planet and everyone left thought him cold for trying to fulfill it without her when in his mind it was akin to a dying wish, the last thing she'd ever express to him: Get them home [no matter what happens to me.] <- wherein 'me' is Janeway. He told Seven that the golden rule to follow is that the captain is "ALWAYS RIGHT" <- (His ACTUAL words) and when Seven asks if the captain should be followed even if someone KNOWS she's wrong he says "Perhaps." This man is perhaps the most ride or die dude in the universe about Janeway. Despite her labeling him her 'moral compass' he is by NO means impartial or unbiased. He'd defend her to his last breath. He canonically makes detailed psychological observations about her and has for years. He accounts for her luck when calculating the success of certain plans. It's implied in 'Twisted' that Janeway typically listens to Tuvok's suggestions and follows them nearly without fail - to the point that he's surprised and obviously irritated when Chakotay doesn't. Despite this they've been inside one another's quarters so infrequently that Tuvok can remember each instance. They call each other "Captain" and "Mr. Tuvok" even though they've known each other for twenty years. There's something wrong with them.
#Tuvok/Janeway#Tuvok#Kathryn Janeway#who's DOING it like THEM???? NO ONE!!! <3#'he WANTS to be there' <- EXAAACTLY!!!! he was literally jealous of Chakotay for being her right hand instead of him#Also Janeway is not a silly little reckless woman stumbling around who the boys shake their heads at - it must be said#<- the other dimension of how wrong this interpretation of their relationship is#He respects her a great deal and that respect is returned in full. He wouldn't follow her if he thought she was silly. When he meets people#he thinks are silly he gets so irritated - this is SERIOUS to him#He says [in an incident completely separate to the psychological observations one] that he's been 'observing her behavior' since#Voyager got stuck in the delta quadrant [the psych obsv were happening pre-delta quad]. WHy is he doing this????#I know [general you] are gonna say like 'security reasons' but I KNOOOWW he's just doing this with Janeway I know in my HEART this is true#Tuvok says Janeway can be reckless and stubborn and unorthodox but he also seems to respect those traits#calling them both her greatest strengths and weaknesses as a leader. aaagh imsorry I just love them so much#They're so INTERESTING and it's so BORING to portray them as like: Bumbling Woman Is Reckless and Wise Man Shake His Head#would [general you] delve deeper into whatever weird shit's going on with Tuvok & Janeway if she was a man or he was white?#I simply MUST ask#I loved these tags they hit the nail on the head so beautifully. They're gonna catch that WHALE!!!!#Also please don't take this as me saying they don't do stupid reckless shit together - they absolutely one million percent do#<3 But to me more than Janeway being 'reckless' she has a 'ruthless' - ness to her that is very compelling#a double edged sword <3 she's GONNNAAA kill that WHALE and Tuvok's gonna be there every step of the way#fandom underrepresents how serious Janeway is#both she and Tuvok have that weird 'too close but too distant' thing going on that's so difficult to describe and I love it <3#chara analysis
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arolesbianism · 1 year ago
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Rly what ppl don't get is that a good 65% minimum of Kanade's hashtag issues are just her daddy issues in a mustache. And that said daddy issues existed long before his hospitalization
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flwrkid14 · 3 months ago
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The Tim Drake Heartthrob Conspiracy
It started as a slow, creeping suspicion. A few throwaway comments here, a couple of odd interactions there. At first, no one thought much of it.
One day, Dick was grabbing coffee near Wayne Enterprises when he overheard two interns chatting in line. “I saw Tim Drake today, and let me tell you, I think I’ve developed a new celebrity crush,” one of them said, giggling.
Dick nearly choked on his iced latte. Tim? Celebrity crush? He shook it off, chalking it up to the occasional corporate crush, nothing out of the ordinary for someone who runs a massive company. But then he heard it again the next week at a Titan’s briefing. Garfield leaned over to him during a meeting, nodding toward Tim across the room.
“Man, Tim’s really come into his own, huh? Guy’s kinda a looker now,” Gar commented.
Dick blinked, then frowned. “Wait, what?”
“Oh, come on, Nightwing,” Gar teased, “you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed! The quiet broody thing is working for him. I bet half of Gotham has a crush on him.”
By the time Dick got back to Gotham, the gears were turning in his head. Did half of Gotham have a crush on Tim?
Then it happened again. This time it was Damian’s turn.
He had been sparring with Jon in the Batcave, when their conversation drifted, as it often did. “You ever think about what it would be like to date someone like Tim?” Jon asked, completely out of the blue.
Damian froze, mid-punch. “What?”
“I mean, he’s smart, right? Responsible, kinda low-key. Would probably make a great boyfriend,” Jon continued, completely oblivious to the growing horror on Damian’s face.
“Grayson and Todd, are enough. I refuse to let another sibling of mine become Gotham’s romantic fascination!” Damian exclaimed later that night at the dinner table. The others laughed, assuming Damian was just being overly dramatic, as usual.
But the seed had been planted.
It didn’t take long for the other Batfamily members to start picking up on the signs.
Steph first noticed when she logged onto a Wayne Enterprises fan forum (because yes, those exist) and saw a thread that was simply titled, “Tim Drake’s Glow-Up Appreciation Post”. The page was filled with comments fawning over him—talking about his “sharp jawline,” his “dark, mysterious aura,” and how “charming” he was during interviews.
Naturally, Steph sent the link to Cass with a laughing emoji. “Look at our boy, growing up into Gotham’s next heartbreaker,” she joked.
But as more and more of these comments popped up in the oddest places, Steph’s joking tone faded. Was Tim really the next heartthrob?
The realization hit Jason last, as most things concerning Tim usually did. He was scrolling through his usual online haunts, browsing forums that discussed Gotham’s vigilantes, when he stumbled on something unusual.
A post titled: Top 10 Reasons Why Red Robin is the Best Looking Vigilante in Gotham.
Jason almost clicked out of it immediately, assuming it was some kind of joke. But no. There were paragraphs. Analysis. Photos that somehow made Tim look like a damn model, even in his ridiculous Red Robin cape.
Jason scrolled through in disbelief, not sure what he was more stunned by: the fact that people were thirsting after Tim, or that someone had gone to this much effort to explain why he was hot.
“That’s it. The internet is officially broken,” Jason muttered to himself, before sending a screenshot to the family group chat with the caption: Since when did Tim become a fashion icon?
The real kicker, though, was Alfred. After weeks of the Batfamily casually throwing around jokes about Tim’s newly discovered “status,” Alfred finally made his observation one morning over breakfast.
“Master Timothy has always had a certain quiet charm about him,” Alfred said as he served coffee, completely unbothered by the ensuing chaos.
Dick, nearly spilling his coffee: “Wait, you knew about this? Why didn’t you say something?”
Alfred raised a brow. “It hardly seemed necessary. I assumed you all were already aware of Master Timothy’s appeal.”
Appeal. Appeal.
Jason was laughing so hard he had to leave the room, while Steph and Cass exchanged glances that said everything: they needed to re-evaluate everything about their little brother.
The whole Batfamily was still coming to terms with it. They joked, they teased, but there was an undeniable shift. When they looked at Tim now, they saw what others had apparently been seeing for years—a quietly confident, strikingly intelligent young man who had somehow grown into one of Gotham’s most eligible bachelors.
Of course, the moment that really sealed the deal came when Tim rode into the Batcave one evening on his Red Bird bike, wearing hastily thrown on stylish outfit—a black leather jacket, perfectly fitted jeans, and a shirt that gave him a casual, yet effortlessly cool look. Running a hand through his still damp hair, a look of mild annoyance on his face.
“Sorry, I’m running late. Got a date.”
For a moment, the Batfamily just stared.
Holy. Shit.
And then, as if on cue, Dick, Steph, Cass, Duke, Jason, and even Damian had the same thought at the same time: Oh my God, Tim Drake is the Batfamily’s biggest heartthrob.
The realization was almost too much to handle.
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reiding-writing · 6 days ago
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YOU OPENED YOUR REQUESTS?? omg a wonderful start to the new year!! ignore if this doesn’t speak to your soul— but would you be able to write a good old fashioned best friends to lovers, mutual pining fic for reid? i’m a sucker for the “he fell first, she fell harder” trope, like he’s been in love with her since day one and their friendship has always toed the line of something more, but she’s an oblivious genius and doesn’t realize how deep their affections for each other run……. and like when she realizes her feelings (like a brick to the head) she starts DISTANCING HERSELF OOH A LITTLE ANGST THERE and reid is like :(( what did i do :(( but it’s ok bc they smooch and make up in the end
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263 DAYS — SPENCER REID!
a lot can change in 263 days.
spencer reid x fem!reader | 7.3k | flangst | masterlist.
a/n — writing longer fics like this is so fun but also so long, but it’s been nice to get back into it 🙂‍↕️
WARNINGS | friends to lovers, emotional distancing, brief (almost) argument, reader gets injured and goes to the hospital (but recovers fine), happy ending
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DAY ONE
You step into the conference room of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, a mixture of nerves and anticipation twisting in your stomach.
The space feels both larger and smaller than you'd imagined—a sprawling table, chairs scattered in quiet disarray, and a dozen tiny details you'd only seen in crime documentaries and shadowed profiles on paper.
The faint scent of coffee and something metallic—maybe old ink—hangs in the air, grounding you. You take a slow, measured breath, trying to steady yourself.
You’re here. You made it.
“First day?”
The voice is soft, inquisitive, and it pulls your attention immediately. You glance to your right and meet the eyes of someone who seems equally curious and cautious, like a bird assessing whether you’re safe to approach.
He’s lanky, taller than you expected, with an untamed mop of brown hair and a pair of shoes that look like they’ve seen a decade’s worth of pavement. Spencer Reid, you realise.
“Yes,” you manage, your voice steadier than you feel. “And you must be Dr. Reid.”
He smiles at the title, though it seems more reflexive than genuine. He shuffles forward a step, hands awkwardly held together behind his back. “Just Reid. Or Spencer. Whichever you prefer.”
You offer your hand to him, nervous, but inviting. ��Nice to meet you, Reid.”
He nods quickly, eyes flickering over your hand like he wants to take it, but he doesn’t. “Sorry, I don’t uh— germs—”
“Oh,” You pull your hand back a little too quickly, awkwardly stuffing it into your pocket. “Sorry, uh—”
“No, no, it’s not you, I’m just— conscious about it,” He presses his lips together in what almost a smile, a silent apology.
You mirror it. “It’s nice to meet you anyway,”
“You too,”
His gaze flicks over you, not in the usual appraising way you’ve grown used to from strangers, but more like he’s cataloging details he can’t quite put into words. There’s no judgment in his eyes, just pure, unabashed interest.
“You’re nervous,” He says, then winces. “Sorry. That sounded... obvious. I just meant—it’s normal. Most people are their first day. Especially here,” His voice lowers slightly, conspiratorial. “It can be... intense.”
A laugh escapes you, light and involuntary, breaking the tension in your chest. “Not exactly comforting, but thanks for the honesty,”
This time, his smile reaches his eyes. “I’m not great at comfort, but I excel at honesty.”
You find yourself smiling back, even as a small voice in the back of your mind whispers that you shouldn’t let your guard down so easily. Not here, not yet.
But something about Reid—his sincerity, the way he tilts his head like he’s trying to solve a puzzle only you can provide—makes it hard to resist.
“So, what brought you to the BAU?” he asks.
The question is simple enough, but the weight behind it is clear. He isn’t just asking out of politeness; he genuinely wants to know. You consider your answer carefully, aware of the dozen eyes that will likely follow your every move today.
“Truthfully? It’s… been a dream for years,” you admit. “I’ve always been fascinated by the psychology of it. How people work, why they do what they do. And... I guess I wanted to make a difference,”
His expression shifts, softens, like you’ve just handed him a piece of yourself and he knows better than to drop it. “That makes sense,” he says quietly. “You’ll be good at this,”
The confidence in his words surprises you. “You don’t even know me,”
“Not yet,” he says, and there’s something almost playful in his tone. “But I’m usually good at reading people. Comes with the job,”
“Any initial impressions?”
He hesitates, and for a moment, you think he might deflect. But then his gaze meets yours again, steady and unwavering. “You’re smart. Observant. But you second-guess yourself more than you need to. And... you’re kind. I think you’ll see things others might miss because of that,”
The honesty in his voice leaves you momentarily speechless. Kind isn’t a word you’d ever considered an asset in this field, but the way he says it makes you wonder if it could be.
“Thanks,” You say, and mean it.
Before he can respond, another voice cuts through the room. “Reid! Stop monopolising the newbie and get over here.”
You glance over to see another man—broad-shouldered, with a gruff boyishness to him. If you had to guess, you’d say that Derek Morgan.
Reid offers a small, apologetic shrug and gives you a quick, almost shy smile before moving to join the others.
As the team gathers around the table, you feel his presence more acutely than you should, like an invisible thread connecting you even when you’re not speaking. Every so often, you catch him glancing your way, his brow furrowing as if he’s trying to figure out a particularly tricky equation. And maybe he is.
Over the course of the day, you learn what makes Reid so extraordinary.
The encyclopaedic knowledge, the way his mind works at lightning speed, piecing together patterns and details that no one else sees.
But you also notice the little things—the way he fidgets with a pen when he’s nervous, the way his voice speeds up when he gets excited, the way he looks at you like you’re the most fascinating mystery he’s ever encountered.
By the time the day ends, you’re exhausted but exhilarated, your head spinning with new information and possibilities. As you gather your things, Reid approaches you again, his movements hesitant but deliberate.
“You did well today,” he says, and there’s no trace of condescension in his tone—just genuine praise.
“Thanks,” you say, feeling a warmth spread through you that has nothing to do with the compliment itself and everything to do with who it’s coming from.
For a moment, neither of you speaks. Then, as if unable to stop himself, Reid blurts out, “You’re going to fit in here. I can tell,”
You tilt your head, studying him. “And you’re sure about that? Already?”
He nods, his gaze earnest. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just... I feel like you belong.”
The words linger between you, heavy with a meaning you can’t quite name. You smile, soft and unsure, and he mirrors it, his expression a little brighter than before.
As you walk out of the building together, the weight of the day finally settling on your shoulders, you can’t help but think that maybe Reid is right.
Maybe you do belong here.
DAY ONE-HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-NINE
The BAU has a way of warping time. Six months can feel like six years, and yet, it can pass in the blink of an eye.
By now, you’ve settled into the team, carving out a place that feels solid, even comfortable. The initial nerves have faded, replaced by a quiet confidence that surprises even you. But the biggest surprise is Reid.
Somewhere along the way, he’s become your constant. Late nights poring over case files often turn into coffee runs, his impossibly detailed book recommendations have all but taken over your nightstand, and your shared chess games have become an unspoken ritual, the board tucked into the corner of the break room practically reserved for the two of you.
It’s not that you don’t notice the way he seems to gravitate toward you—it’s just that you don’t think much of it.
Reid is Reid: attentive, brilliant, and endlessly curious. If he listens a little more intently when you speak, if his smiles linger longer than necessary, if he remembers details you barely recall sharing, well, that’s just how he is. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.
The morning starts like any other.
A case has just wrapped, leaving you with a rare, precious day in the office to catch up on paperwork and recover. The bullpen hums with low chatter and the rhythmic tapping of keyboards, but your attention is elsewhere—specifically on the chessboard in front of you.
“Check,” Reid announces, his tone smug but his face a careful mask of neutrality. He leans back in his chair, arms crossed loosely, his expression daring you to find an out.
You narrow your eyes at the board, studying the positions like your life depends on it. “I don’t like you very much right now,” you mutter, earning a soft laugh from him.
“You don’t mean that,” he says, his voice warm.
“Don’t I?” you quip, your fingers hovering over your knight. You’re stalling, and he knows it.
“Take your time,” he says, though there’s a playful glint in his eye. “It’s not like you have anything else to do today.”
You glare at him, but there’s no heat behind it. “You’re enjoying this too much,”
“Maybe a little,”
The banter is easy, familiar. It’s become second nature by now, a rhythm you fall into without thinking. Finally, with a dramatic sigh, you move your knight, narrowly avoiding defeat.
Reid’s brow furrows as he examines the board. “Not bad,” he concedes.
“I’ll take it,” you reply, leaning back in your chair and stretching.
“Lunch?” he asks, already rising to his feet.
“Let me guess,” you say, smirking. “Thai food again?”
“It’s efficient,” he says, as though that explains everything.
“Efficient isn’t the same as exciting,” you tease, but you grab your jacket anyway.
The walk to the nearby restaurant is brisk, the February air biting against your skin. Reid falls into step beside you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“Did you finish that book I lent you?” he asks, glancing at you.
“Not yet,” you admit. “But I’m close. You were right—it’s better than I expected,”
He grins, and you feel a flicker of satisfaction at the sight. “Told you. It’s all about the narrative structure. Did you notice how the author—”
“Reid,” you interrupt, laughing. “Save the lecture for later. I’m still processing and I have a feeling you’re going to spoil the ending,”
He huffs but lets it go, his grin lingering.
Back at the office, you dive into the endless pile of paperwork waiting on your desk. Hours pass in a blur of forms and reports, the steady hum of activity around you lulling you into a comfortable rhythm.
It’s only when a steaming cup of coffee appears in your peripheral vision that you realize how long you’ve been sitting there.
“Thought you could use this,” Reid says, setting the cup down beside you.
You blink up at him, surprised but grateful. “You’re a lifesaver.”
“I know,” he says, his lips twitching into a small smile.
He doesn’t leave, instead pulling a chair up beside you and settling in. For a moment, neither of you speaks, the quiet companionship as natural as breathing.
“You know,” you say, glancing at him, “you don’t have to babysit me.”
“I’m not,” he says simply. “I like being here.”
There’s something in his tone that makes you pause, a softness that feels almost... vulnerable. But before you can dwell on it, he shifts the conversation, asking about your latest case report.
The moment passes, but it stays with you, an echo at the back of your mind.
The day winds down with another chess game, this one more competitive than the last. The bullpen has emptied out, the rest of the team long gone, leaving just the two of you and the faint hum of the building’s heating system.
“Checkmate,” Reid announces, his tone triumphant.
You groan, dropping your head onto the table. “I give up. You’re officially unbeatable,”
He laughs, the sound soft and unguarded. “You’re getting better,” he says, and you know he means it.
“Flattery won’t save you next time,” you say, sitting up and meeting his gaze.
His smile falters, just for a moment, and there’s something in his eyes you can’t quite place—something intense and unspoken. You tilt your head, about to ask if everything’s okay, but he looks away, busying himself with packing up the chess pieces.
“Same time tomorrow?” he asks, his voice carefully neutral.
“Of course,” you say, watching him.
As you part ways for the night, that look lingers in your mind, and for the first time, you wonder if there’s more to Reid’s attentiveness than you’ve allowed yourself to see.
DAY TWO-HUNDRED AND FOUR
It starts with the little things.
You notice Reid’s uncanny ability to anticipate your needs long before you voice them. A cup of your favorite tea waiting for you on your desk after a long day.
A book you mentioned in passing, slipped into your bag with a handwritten note on why you’d love it. The way he finishes your sentences, not out of impatience, but because he’s somehow always attuned to what you’re thinking.
It’s Reid being Reid, you tell yourself. He’s observant, that’s his job. It doesn’t mean anything more than that.
But then there are the things he shouldn’t know. Like how your nose crinkles when you laugh too hard, a detail even you hadn’t thought about until you catch him smiling faintly at the sight. Or the way he hums along, almost unconsciously, to the songs you sing under your breath while focused on paperwork.
You’d dismiss it as coincidence, but Reid doesn’t believe in coincidences.
It’s a cold, gray morning when the call comes in—a double homicide in a rural town that has the local police out of their depth. By mid-afternoon, you’re knee-deep in the case, the clues coming together like pieces of a grim puzzle.
You and Reid are tasked with canvassing a suspect’s property, a sprawling, dilapidated farmhouse that creaks ominously with every step. It’s quiet—too quiet—and the sense of unease prickles at the back of your neck.
“I don’t like this,” you mutter, glancing at Reid.
He nods, his hand hovering near his weapon. “Neither do I. Let’s stick together,”
The words are barely out of his mouth when it happens. A figure bursts from the shadows, wielding a machete with reckless desperation.
You react instinctively, your weapon raised, but the suspect moves faster than you expect, slamming into you with full force.
Pain explodes in your side as you hit the ground, the breath knocked from your lungs. Reid’s voice cuts through the chaos, sharp and commanding.
“FBI! Drop the weapon!”
The suspect hesitates for a fraction of a second—just long enough for Reid to act. His shot is precise, disarming but not lethal, and the suspect crumples to the ground, writhing in pain.
Reid is at your side in an instant, his hands trembling as he presses them against the slash on your side, stumbling through the order for a medic on his radio.
“You’re okay,” he says, his voice tight with panic. “You’re going to be okay.”
You manage a weak laugh, wincing at the pain it causes. “You can’t get rid of me that easy, Reid,”
His eyes dart to yours, wide and filled with something that looks an awful lot like fear. “Don’t joke,” he murmurs. “Please don’t joke.”
His hands are gentle but firm as he applies pressure to the wound, his lips moving in a quiet stream of reassurances you barely register. “Just breathe. Help’s on the way. You’re fine. You’re fine.”
The world blurs at the edges, but through it all, you feel him—his presence steady and unyielding, anchoring you to the moment.
DAY TWO-HUNDRED AND SIX
You wake in a hospital bed, the sterile smell of antiseptic filling your nose. It takes a moment for the haze to clear, and when it does, the first thing you see is Reid.
He’s sitting in a chair beside you, his posture stiff, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. He looks exhausted, dark circles under his eyes and his hair messier than usual, but when he notices you stirring, his expression softens with relief.
“You’re awake,” he says, and there’s a faint tremor in his voice.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” you say, your voice hoarse.
His laugh is soft, almost disbelieving. “You have a talent for understatement,”
He leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, and for a moment, he just looks at you. There’s something in his gaze—something raw and unguarded—that makes your chest tighten.
“I thought—” He stops, swallowing hard. “I don’t know,”
“I’m alright, Reid” You offer gently.
He nods, but his jaw tightens as if he’s holding back a thousand words. “You scared me,” he admits finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
You reach out, your fingers brushing his arm, and the tension in his shoulders eases slightly. “I’m okay,” you say, and though the words feel inadequate, they seem to bring him some comfort.
For the rest of the night, he stays by your side, his quiet devotion more reassuring than any words could be. And for the first time, you start to wonder if there’s more to Reid’s attentiveness than you’ve allowed yourself to see.
DAY TWO-HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SEVEN
The BAU rarely has time for unwinding, but tonight is one of those rare evenings. A case has wrapped early, the unsub is in custody, and Hotch decided to reward the team with a dinner at a cozy Italian restaurant not far from Quantico. The room is filled with laughter, the clink of glasses, and the scent of fresh bread and marinara.
You sit sandwiched between Morgan and Reid, your wine glass half-full and your plate of pasta nearly untouched. The conversation flows easily—Morgan cracking jokes, Garcia spinning outrageous anecdotes, Rossi offering sage commentary.
You chime in when prompted, but your mind is elsewhere, your attention flicking between your teammates and the warm, intimate glow of the restaurant.
It’s when the laughter swells again, this time at something Garcia said, that you notice it.
Reid’s gaze.
He’s looking at you, not laughing, not even smiling, just... looking.
It’s not the way someone glances at a friend or colleague. His eyes hold something deeper, something unspoken but achingly clear. Admiration. Longing. Affection so palpable it steals the breath from your lungs.
The realisation hits you like a freight train, or perhaps a brick to the head, straight into your brain like it’s punishing you.
Every late-night chess game. Every quiet conversation over coffee. The way he remembers the smallest details about you, the warmth in his voice when he says your name, the way his presence feels like a comfort you didn’t know you needed—all of it comes crashing into focus.
How had you missed it?
But the thought doesn’t end there. Because as much as his gaze stirs something in you, it also forces you to confront the ache you’ve felt for months.
The way your chest tightens when he smiles at someone else. The way your pulse quickens when he’s near. The way your stomach flips at the simplest touch—a brush of his hand against yours, his knee grazing yours under the table.
Oh no.
Panic bubbles in your chest, threatening to spill over. You tear your gaze away, your hands fumbling for your wine glass as you take a too-large sip. It does little to steady you.
“Hey,” Morgan says, nudging you lightly with his elbow. “You good? You’ve been quiet,”
“I’m fine,” you say quickly, the words too sharp, too rehearsed.
Morgan raises an eyebrow, but thankfully, Garcia swoops in to demand his attention, sparing you further interrogation.
Beside you, Reid shifts slightly, his knee brushing yours again. The touch is electric, sending a jolt straight to your heart. You chance a glance at him, and for a moment, you think he might say something, but instead, he simply offers you a soft, almost hesitant smile.
It’s that smile—sweet and unguarded—that undoes you.
You force yourself to focus on the chatter around the table, the way Garcia’s voice rises animatedly, the way Rossi’s laughter rumbles like distant thunder.
Anything to keep from drowning in the realisation that Spencer Reid, your closest friend and the person who knows you better than anyone, has somehow become the centre of your world.
And worse—much worse—is the fear that you’ve been blind to his feelings for so long, that your obliviousness might have hurt him in ways you don’t yet understand.
By the time dinner ends, your head is spinning, your chest tight with emotions you don’t know how to name, let alone confront.
As the team begins to gather their things and head for the door, Reid lingers beside you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “You sure you’re okay?” he asks softly, his voice tinged with concern.
You force a smile, though it feels brittle. “Just tired. Long day,”
He nods, but the worry in his eyes doesn’t fade. “If you need to talk—”
“I’m fine, Reid,” you say, a little too quickly. A little too sharply.
His expression falters, and guilt twists in your stomach. You want to explain, to tell him that your panic has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact that you’ve just realised you’re in love with him. But the words stick in your throat, too raw, too terrifying to voice.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you manage, grabbing your coat and heading for the door before he can respond.
As you step into the chilly night air, the weight of your realization settles over you, heavy and inescapable.
You’re in love with Spencer Reid. And you have no idea what to do about it.
DAY TWO-HUNDRED AND FOURTY-TWO
The days that follow are a blur of avoidance and self-doubt. You bury yourself in work, volunteering for extra tasks, lingering at your desk long after everyone else has gone home. When Reid suggests coffee or a quick game of chess, you make excuses—paperwork, errands, a headache.
“It’s not you,” you insist each time, forcing a smile that you hope looks convincing. “Just busy.”
But it is him. Or rather, it’s you. The truth feels too messy, too raw to share. You can’t bear the thought of risking your friendship, of letting your feelings slip and watching the warmth in his eyes dim with awkward discomfort. It’s easier this way, you tell yourself. Cleaner.
It doesn’t feel cleaner. It feels awful.
Reid is nothing if not perceptive. You know this, and yet it still catches you off guard when he notices your distance almost immediately.
At first, he’s subtle about it. A furrowed brow when you brush past him in the bullpen without stopping to chat. A quiet “Are you okay?” when you excuse yourself from a team lunch, claiming a nonexistent phone call.
But as the days stretch into weeks, his concern deepens.
One evening, after a particularly grueling case debrief, he approaches your desk with a tentative smile, holding out a steaming cup of your favorite tea.
“Peace offering?” he says lightly.
You glance up, surprised, and for a moment, the warmth in his expression makes your resolve waver. But then the weight of your feelings crashes over you again, and you force a polite but distant smile.
“Thanks, Reid,” you say, taking the cup without meeting his eyes. “But I really need to finish this.”
He hesitates, the smile slipping. “Did I... do something?”
The question hits you like a punch to the gut. You look up, startled, and find him watching you with a mixture of confusion and hurt that makes your chest ache.
“What? No, of course not,” you say quickly, too quickly.
“Then why—” He stops, his hands fidgeting with the strap of his bag. “What’s wrong?”
Your heart sinks. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” you lie, but even as the words leave your mouth, you know he doesn’t believe them.
“Right,” he says softly, his gaze dropping to the floor.
The silence between you stretches uncomfortably, heavy with everything you’re not saying. Finally, he nods, stepping back.
“Okay,” he says, his voice tight. “I’ll… let you get back to work, then,”
As he walks away, a knot of guilt tightens in your chest. You want to call him back, to explain, to apologise, but the words won’t come. Instead, you sit frozen at your desk, watching him retreat with his shoulders slightly slumped, and wonder if you’ve just made the biggest mistake of your life.
That night, Reid lies awake, staring at the ceiling of his apartment as your words echo in his mind.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
The lie is so transparent it hurts. He replays every recent interaction, searching for the moment he might have crossed a line, the moment he lost you.
Did he hover too much? Was he too pushy with his invitations? Did he say something wrong?
The thought that he might have ruined your friendship gnaws at him, an ache that refuses to fade. He tries to focus on the logical, the facts: you said he hadn’t done anything.
But facts don’t explain why the laughter in your eyes has dimmed, why the easy rhythm of your friendship has crumbled into awkward silences and forced smiles.
He doesn’t sleep that night, and by morning, he’s no closer to an answer.
But one thing is clear: he can’t lose you. Not like this.
DAY TWO-HUNDRED AND FOURTY-NINE
It’s late when the team finally returns to Quantico, the exhaustion of a long case settling over everyone like a heavy fog. You’re the first to escape the bullpen, eager to retreat to the quiet sanctuary of your apartment. But just as you grab your coat, a voice stops you.
“Can we talk?”
You turn to find Reid standing behind you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, his expression a mix of worry and determination.
“Reid, I’m really tired—”
“Please.” His voice is soft but insistent, his eyes searching yours. “Just a few minutes.”
You hesitate, your instinct to avoid clashing with the ache in his voice. Finally, you nod, letting your coat drop back onto the rack.
He leads you to one of the empty conference rooms, closing the door behind you with a quiet click. For a moment, neither of you speaks, the silence stretching taut between you.
“Did I do something to upset you?” he asks finally, his voice trembling slightly. “Because if I did, I—I don’t know what it was. And I need to know, because you’ve been distant, and I—” He falters, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I miss you.”
The raw honesty in his words nearly undoes you. “Reid...” You take a step back, panic rising in your chest. “You didn’t do anything. I’ve just… been busy.”
“Busy?” he repeats, his voice laced with disbelief. He looks up, and the hurt in his eyes is like a punch to the gut. “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”
You stammer, searching for an excuse, but the words feel hollow even as you speak them. “It’s just... work has been overwhelming, and I haven’t had time, and—”
“Stop,” he says softly, cutting you off.
You freeze, your heart pounding in your chest.
“I know you,” he says, his voice steady now, though there’s an edge of desperation beneath it. “I know when something’s wrong, and something is wrong. You don’t avoid people because you’re ‘busy.’ You don’t avoid me unless there’s a reason.”
You swallow hard, your throat tight. “I’m not avoiding you—”
“Yes, you are,” he says firmly. He takes a step closer, his expression earnest, pleading. “I just... I need to understand. Did I do something to push you away? Did I say something, or—”
“No!” The word bursts out of you, louder than you intended. You see him flinch slightly, and your resolve crumbles. “No, Reid, you didn’t do anything.”
“Then why?” he asks, his voice breaking. “Why are you pulling away from me?”
His hurt expression cuts you to the core, and for a moment, you consider telling him the truth—laying it all out, messy and terrifying as it is. But fear holds you back, the fear of ruining everything, of crossing a line that can never be uncrossed.
“I can’t,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “I just... I can’t.”
His brow furrows, confusion clouding his features. “Can’t what?”
The question hangs in the air, heavy and unanswerable. You take a shaky breath, forcing yourself to meet his gaze, and what you see there—hurt, confusion, and something deeper, something vulnerable—almost breaks you.
“I’m sorry,” you say softly, the words barely audible. “I’m so sorry.”
And before he can say another word, you turn and walk away, leaving him standing alone in the empty room.
DAY TWO-HUNDRED AND FIFTY-THREE
You don’t even remember the drive to Reid’s apartment. The streets blur past in a haze of headlights and cold January air, your heart pounding like a war drum in your chest.
The weight of your own cowardice has become unbearable. His hurt expression haunts you, replaying over and over, the echo of his words a constant refrain: “Why are you pulling away from me?”
You can’t do this anymore. You can’t keep pretending you’re fine when every moment away from him feels like a slow unraveling.
By the time you reach his door, your nerves are frayed to the breaking point. You hesitate for a moment, your hand poised to knock, before finally forcing yourself to take the leap.
Three short raps echo in the quiet hallway.
The door opens after a moment, and there he is—Spencer Reid, standing in sweatpants and a rumpled t-shirt, his hair slightly disheveled, his expression wary but softening the instant he sees you.
“Hey,” he says, his voice uncertain.
“Hi,” you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.
His brow furrows slightly. “Is everything okay?”
“No.” The word slips out before you can stop it, raw and unfiltered. You take a shaky breath, clutching the strap of your bag like it might anchor you to the moment. “Can I come in please?”
He steps aside immediately, his concern deepening as he watches you.
Once inside, you pace the small living room, your hands trembling, your mind racing. Reid stands by the door, watching you with a mix of confusion and apprehension, his arms crossed loosely over his chest.
“Okay, you’re scaring me a little,” he says gently. “What’s going on?”
You stop pacing, your back to him, and close your eyes for a moment, gathering every ounce of courage you have. When you turn to face him, the words tumble out in a rush.
“I have been avoiding you,”
He knew that. But hearing you say it tears him up just a little.
“because I’m an idiot,” you continue, your voice trembling. “Because I thought it would be easier to push you away than to deal with the fact that I—” You falter, your throat tightening, but you force yourself to continue.
“I’m in love with you, Reid.”
His eyes widen, his lips parting in surprise, but you keep going, afraid that if you stop now, you’ll lose the nerve to finish.
“And I was scared. Scared of ruining our friendship, scared you’d look at me differently, scared of losing you. So I distanced myself, and it was stupid and selfish, and I’m sorry.” Your voice cracks, and you take a shaky step toward him. “I’m so sorry, Spencer.”
For a moment, the silence is deafening. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t move, just stares at you with an unreadable expression.
“Say something,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “Please?”
Slowly, almost hesitantly, he takes a step toward you. Then another. And another, until he’s standing so close you can feel the warmth of his breath against your skin.
“I’ve been in love with you since the day we met,” he says softly, his voice trembling with emotion.
Your breath catches in your throat. “What?”
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” he continues, his eyes searching yours. “You’re brilliant and kind and funny, and you make me feel like I’m not... like I’m not so different. I didn’t want to risk losing you, so I kept it to myself, even though it killed me to see you pull away.”
His words hit you like a tidal wave, a rush of relief and disbelief and something achingly tender.
“Spencer...”
He steps closer, his hand lifting to cup your face, his touch impossibly gentle. “You don’t have to be scared anymore,” he whispers. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Before you can respond, he pulls you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you like he’s afraid you might disappear. You bury your face in his shoulder, the familiar scent of him—coffee and faint traces of his shampoo—wrapping around you like a balm.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur against his chest, your voice muffled.
He pulls back just enough to look at you, his hands still resting on your arms. “Don’t be,” he says, his gaze soft and unwavering. “We’ve both been scared. But we don’t have to be anymore.”
You nod, a tear slipping down your cheek, and he brushes it away with his thumb, his touch lingering.
“Does this mean I can invite you to coffee again without you running away?” he asks, a faint smile tugging at his lips.
You laugh, the sound shaky but genuine. “Yeah, yeah that’d be nice—”
His smile widens, and before you can overthink it, you lean in and press your lips to his.
The kiss starts tentative, a soft brush of lips, as if both of you are testing the waters, unsure of what to expect after so long of keeping everything bottled up.
But as the seconds pass, as your heart beats faster and your pulse races with the rush of finally having everything laid bare between you, the kiss deepens.
It’s overwhelming, more than you ever imagined. The gentle pressure of his lips on yours sends waves of warmth through you, and it’s as if everything else—everything you’ve been afraid of, everything that’s kept you distant—melts away in that single, perfect moment.
The tension, the months of pining and longing, spill into the kiss, filling the space between you with everything you’ve been holding back.
You slide your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and he responds instantly, his hands moving to your waist, holding you tightly as if he’s afraid this moment might slip away. His lips are soft but eager, the kind of kiss that says everything words couldn’t express.
The world outside this room fades into nothingness—the hum of the city, the quiet night air, the noise of your past self-doubt—all of it is gone. It’s just you and him now, tangled up in each other in a way that feels so natural, so right.
You pull back slightly, breathless, and when you look at him, the expression in his eyes is one of pure awe. He’s looking at you like you’re something he’s dreamed of for so long but never thought he’d get to touch.
“You,” he breathes, his voice barely a whisper, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,”
You laugh softly, still reeling from the intensity of the kiss, the electric feeling of his arms around you. “I think I have some idea,” you say, smiling through the haziness of your emotions. “I’m not that oblivious,”
He smiles, a little sheepishly, and presses his forehead to yours. “Yeah, well… I guess we’re both just really good at pretending.”
“Not anymore,” you say, your voice filled with newfound certainty. “No more pretending. No more running. From now on, it’s just... us.”
Reid’s smile widens, and he nods. His hands move to cup your face, the touch tender, reverent. “I promise,” he says softly. “I promise, I won’t let fear get in the way again,”
You nod, your chest swelling with relief. You feel the same. Fear won’t keep you apart any longer.
The transition from being friends to lovers feels seamless, like something that was always meant to happen but only needed the right moment to click into place.
There’s no awkwardness, no second-guessing. It feels like this was the way things were always supposed to be, as if every conversation, every shared laugh, every moment you’d spent together was building toward this.
“You know,” he says quietly, a hint of playfulness returning to his voice, “I think I’m starting to like this ‘not pretending’ thing.”
You chuckle, your heart full, and pull him into another kiss, this one more relaxed, more comfortable. There’s no rush now—just the simple, perfect feeling of being in his arms, of knowing you don’t have to hide anymore.
When you pull away again, you rest your head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “I love you,” you murmur.
“I love you too,” he replies, his voice a little thick with emotion. “I’ve loved you for so long.”
The words are simple, but they carry the weight of everything you’ve both been through.
And as you stand there in his arms, the world outside his apartment feels like a distant memory, something far away that no longer matters. All that matters is the feeling of being together, of stepping into the future with him, side by side. No more fear. No more distance. Just you and him.
DAY TWO-HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SIX
Returning to work after that night feels surreal, like stepping into a world that’s familiar but somehow brighter, sharper. Everything feels new, but also so wonderfully right.
The team notices almost immediately. They’re profilers, after all.
It starts with the little things—your hand brushing against Spencer’s as you both reach for the same file, the soft, shared smiles exchanged across the bullpen, the way you instinctively gravitate toward him during team meetings.
Morgan’s eyebrows shoot up the first time he catches Spencer stealing a glance at you, his expression so openly fond it borders on dreamy.
“Something you want to tell us, Pretty Boy?” Morgan teases one morning as Spencer sits at his desk, clearly distracted.
Spencer startles, his ears turning red as he fumbles with his pen. “I—uh, no, nothing.”
From her desk, Garcia narrows her eyes suspiciously, then looks at you, her gaze bouncing between the two of you like she’s connecting the dots. “Wait a second. Are you two—?”
“We’re not talking about this,” you say quickly, though the smile tugging at your lips betrays your attempt at sternness.
“Oh, we will talk about this,” Garcia says, grinning triumphantly. “Just as soon as I gather my emotional support snacks.”
Hotch and Rossi, ever the professionals, don’t comment, but the knowing looks they exchange speak volumes.
So does the HR form that magically appears on your desk the same afternoon.
DAY TWO-HUNDRED AND SIXTY-THREE
A quiet afternoon, as the team prepares for a lull between cases, Spencer walks into the bullpen holding a carefully wrapped package. The sight of him—nervously shifting from foot to foot, his hair slightly mussed, his tie askew—makes your heart ache in the best way.
“Hey,” he says softly, approaching your desk.
“Hey,” you reply, setting aside the file you’ve been working on. “What’s that?”
He holds out the package, his fingers brushing yours as you take it. “It’s for you,” he says, a little shyly. “I’ve had it for a while, but… I was waiting for the right moment,”
Curiosity piqued, you carefully unwrap the package, your breath catching when you see what’s inside: a first-edition copy of a book you’d mentioned offhandedly months ago, a rare find you never thought you’d own.
“Spencer,” you breathe, running your fingers reverently over the worn leather cover. “This is—this is incredible.”
He shrugs, his cheeks flushing pink. “I remembered how much you loved it, and, well… I wanted you to have it,”
You stare at him for a moment, overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness of the gesture, by the quiet devotion it represents. Setting the book aside, you rise from your chair and step closer to him.
“Thank you,” you say, your voice soft but filled with emotion.
Before he can respond, you lean in and kiss him, your hands resting gently on his shoulders. It’s not your first kiss, but it feels just as electric, just as full of promise.
When you pull back, his eyes are bright, his smile soft and radiant. “I think I like this ‘new chapter’ we’re in,” he says quietly, his voice tinged with affection.
“Me too,” you reply, your heart swelling as you brush a stray curl from his forehead.
As you return to your desk, the book resting on the corner like a talisman of everything you’ve built together, you steal another glance at him.
He’s already immersed in his work, his brow furrowed in concentration, but when he catches you looking, he smiles—one of those rare, unguarded smiles that makes your chest ache with how much you love him.
This is where I’m supposed to be, you think. And Spencer would agree.
779 notes · View notes
hr-hottie · 2 months ago
Text
Stolen from an internet comment:
I mean think about it. Republicans got the endorsement of almost nobody. Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan were their front runners. Vance’s approval rating was like 30%. They had so many people vocally against them from media to celebrities to public figures.
Then in swoops the richest guy in the world who goes full bananas MAGA and puts his entire reputation on the line for Trump’s promise of a seat in the White House. Why risk it all unless you knew that promise was going to happen?
Why did Trump routinely say to not bother voting because they had all the votes? Why did Trump insist the only way Dems would win is if they cheated, is it because he knew he rigged it already so literally the only way Harris could win is if she somehow cheated and undid/redid the rigging? What was the “little secret”? Why did it seem like nobody on Trump’s team was excited to win and they took the stage like nothing happened, is it because they knew it was going to happen? How did states like Florida get called almost instantaneously? Why were there numerous bomb threats from Russia at only heavily Democratic polling stations? Why was there numerous reports of tabulators malfunctioning at only heavily Democratic polling stations? Why was every single person who has accurately predicted elections over the last 5-10-15-20+ years wrong? Not one or two, all of them were wrong, how?
How is it that none of the heinous stuff Trump did matter? Jan 6, felonies, racism, misogyny, questioning when Harris turned black in front of a room of black people, threatening to jail or kill people that didn’t support him, calling Puerto Ricans garbage, calling the military losers and suckers, saying Haitian immigrants are eating dogs, I mean you name it. How can he do all of the stuff over the last 4 years that would have sunk any politician’s career dead in the water and yet he gained supporters from literally everywhere?
How does sentiment analysis show Democrats with the highest voter enthusiasm and engagement since Obama and yet deliver an absolute abysmal showing in the election? How does Harris/Walz sellout enormous stadiums multiple times a day all over the country while Trump can barely fill a 2,000 seat auditorium, yet that translates into not even winning the popular vote?
Maybe they didn’t cheat. But you ask yourself the above questions and you really start to wonder if they did…
741 notes · View notes
waitimcomingtoo · 1 year ago
Text
A Film By Peter Parker
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Synopsis: Peter gets back into making little videos once the two of you start hanging out
warning: extreme 2017 homecoming era nostalgia
Masterlist
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Of course he went for Liz.
Liz was the ingénue. She was perfect in every possible way. Perfect grades, perfect face, and the perfect boy pining after her. You’d been crushing on Peter since the third grade but with Liz around, he never noticed you.
But Liz was gone now. She had moved to Oregon following her dad’s arrest and taken Peter’s feelings for her with her. Now that she was gone, you decided it was time to stop pining after Peter from afar and start pining from up close. And so, when you walked into the cafeteria that day, you didn’t sit at the end of the table like you usually did.
“Oh, hey.” Peter smiled in surprise when you sat down next to him. Smiling was good. Smiling meant he wasn’t creeped out by you sitting so close. You gulped before giving him best smile back.
“Hi.”
“What are you doing here?” Ned asked, making Peter give him a look. You immediately regretted your decision and wished you’d just stayed in your usual spot.
“What do you mean? She always sits with us.” Peter pointed out.
“No, she always sits down there. She’s never actually sat with us before.” Ned replied and gestured to the end of the lunch table.
“Yes, but I’m sitting here today because I needed Peters help with the chemistry homework.” You said and put your chemistry notebook on the table. You knew you couldn’t just randomly sit with them without a reason, so you came prepared.
“Oh, for Mr. Eddie’s class? It’s easy. I’ll show you my notes.” Peter’s offered with a smile. You returned the smile as he pulled out his own notebook. It was a win/win for you since you actually needed help with the homework and it would start a conversation with Peter. While he was explaining the problem to you, you never once looked down at the notebook. You were too focused on the curve of Peter’s suspiciously long eyelashes, the longest you’d ever seen on a boy. Ned noticed the way you were staring his his best friend and frowned a little.
“Does that make sense?” Peter’s asked when he was done explaining.
“Yeah, it does. Wow, thanks Peter. It sounds so easy the way you explain it. I wish this stuff came as naturally to me as it does for you. You’re so smart.” You said as if you had listened to a single word he had said.
“That’s nice of you to say but I’m really not that smart. I just like chemistry.” He replied as he blushed from the compliment.
“Oh, come on. You’re the smartest guy I know. You’re the only one that answers questions in that class. And you always get them right. When Mr. Eddie asks if anyone has any questions, I don’t raise my hand because I don’t even know what I’m confused about yet.”
“That’s I feel in English. I can barely make it through the first line in a poem and you’re already going back and forth with Ms. Teague about Pindaric odes or whatever they’re called.”
“You listen to when I talk in English?” You asked with a soft smile.
“Of course I do.” Peter shrugged. “I always find the reading boring until you raise your hand and talk about how you interpreted it. You make it interesting.”
“I liked that book we read when the kids ate the other kids.” Ned said and interrupted the moment. Your smile dropped as you and Peter looked at him with disgust.
“The one with the flies-“
“We know.” Peter cut him off.
“Anyways, thank you for helping me with the homework. I’ve been stuck on it all week.” You said to Peter.
“Ugh. That’s been me with my paper for Mrs. Teagues class. And it’s due tomorrow.” Peter groaned.
“Oh, the analysis essay? I could help you with that.” You offered.
“Really? You’d help me?” Peter smiled in surprise.
“Yeah. I already wrote mine. It would be no problem.”
Ned was watching this back and forth conversation for a while until it clicked it in head. He gasped and slapped the table, making you and Peter look at him.
“Oh my God.” Ned said. “That’s why you’re sitting here. You have a-“
“Can I talk to you for a second, Ned?” You quickly cut him off when you realized where that sentence was going. Before Ned could even answer, you grabbed his arm and pulled him outside the cafeteria to talk in private.
“You like Peter!” Ned whispered harshly. You clamped your hand over his mouth and pushed him up against the wall.
“You need to keep your mouth shut.” You hissed. “Yes, I like Peter, okay? I’ve had a crush on Peter since middle school. He never noticed me when Liz was around but now that she’s in Oregon, I might finally have my chance. I don’t want to scare him off so just keep your mouth shut and let me handle this.”
You took your hand off Ned’s mouth and he started to gasp for air.
“Oh, please. Your nose wasn’t covered. You could breathe just fine.” You said with a roll of your eyes. Ned stopped pretended and straightened up.
“So you actually like Peter? For his personality?”
“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”
“Kinda, yeah.” Ned admitted.
“I like everything about him. And I’m gonna tell him that. Just please, don’t say anything before I do. I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”
“Are you going to cast a love spell on him using a lock of his hair?” Ned whispered to you.
“What? No. Why would you even ask me that?”
“Because you’re a witch.” Ned said like it was obvious.
“I’m not a witch.” You groaned. “I just accidentally cackled that one time but it was only because I had phlegm in my throat.”
“Then about that time on the bus?”
“We’ve been over this. It was just a coincidence that that biker fell off his bike after I gestured with my hand. I didn’t move him with my mind.”
“And that one time in physics?” Ned narrowed his eyes.
“I still don’t know how that guys shirt caught on fire.” You shrugged. “It’s a mystery to me.”
“It caught on fire after he made fun of you for being a witch.” Ned pointed out.
“Maybe he was just standing too close to the flame.” You shrugged.
“He was standing in the doorway. There was no flame.” Ned reminded you.
“The magic of science.” You shrugged again.
“But what about that time-“
“Don’t bring up the nosebleed.” You whined.
“I am gonna bring up the nosebleed.” Ned hissed. “In sixth grade, our Spanish teacher got a nosebleed right after he told you to stop staring out the window and made everyone laugh at you. How do you explain that?”
“You’ve made your point, okay? Now are you gonna tell Peter or not?”
“Look, I’m not gonna expose your gross secret feelings, as gross and secret as they may be.” Ned sighed. “But Peter is still my best friend so I have to look out for him. I don’t want any spells cast on him.”
“That’s fine. There will not be any spells.” You held your your hands in defense. Just then, Flash walked by and laughed when he saw the two of you talking.
“Woah. What is this, the friendless loser convention?” Flash snorted.
“Shut up.” You snapped. Flash immediately tripped over his feet and fell to the ground, making Ned look at you with wide eyes.
“Witch!” He whispered harshly as he pointed a finger at you.
“Shut up. Let’s go back inside.” You rolled your eyes and pulled Ned back into the cafeteria.
Later that day, you met up with Peter in the library to go over your assignments. You started with his English essay and finished that within an hour before moving on to your chemistry homework.
“You can plug the numbers into your formula now using the method I taught you. And then you just solve for x.” Peter explained as you worked out a problem together.
“Hm. You make it sound so simple.” You sighed and leaned on your hand. Peter saw the way you were staring at him in his peripheral vision and felt his face heat up.
“It’s, uh, it’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it. I never liked the way Mr. Eddie taught it. I figured this out myself and it’s worked much better for me.”
“Thanks for helping me. You’re a good teacher.” You said and put your hand on his arm. Peter laughed shyly at the contact and cleared his throat.
“Thanks. And so are you. That was the best essay I’ve ever produced. I honestly worry she won’t believe I wrote it.”
“Well if she says anything, I can vouch for you. You put in good work on this essay. You deserve the credit.” You assured him, making Peter blush all over again. It occurred to Peter that he never realized how pretty you were. You’d been classmates since 3rd grade so he always looked at you as just another girl in his class. Now that you had his full attention, he didn’t feel like looking away.
“Thanks. I appreciate you helping me write it. I know it can be frustrating to work with me because of my dyslexia.”
“It’s no problem. And it wasn’t frustrating at all.” You shrugged. Peter smiled at felt better about how long it took him to write the essay.
“Thanks.” He said. You had successfully gotten him to spend time with you one on one but now you needed to commence the next phase in your plan which was to hang out in a non school related setting.
“Would you ever want to hang out socially?” You blurted.
“Like, and not do homework?” He asked. You nodded your head and he smiled before nodding as well.
“Yeah. Sure. I’d love to.”
“Cool. Me too.” You smiled. You hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that but it worked nonetheless.
“Does this weekend work?” He asked you.
“Yeah. What do you want to do?”
Hard cut to that weekend. You were on the subway with Peter and he had his phone out to record himself.
“Firts social hang out with a girl. A film by Peter Parker.” He said in a low voice before flipping the camera to face you.
“Staring me.” You smiled and waved to the camera.
“Are you sure you’re cool with me filming this?” Peter asked as he flipped the camera back to himself.
“Yeah, of course. The other ones you showed me were so cute. But why did it seem like there were so many missing parts? You were always talking about something cool that I didn’t get to see.”
“Uhhh, no reason.” Peter said and looked to the side. He had skillfully edited out any incriminating superhero activity that you were not ready to see yet.
“Well I like it. I feel like I’m on Modern Family.” You said and posed for the camera.
“Which family member would you be?” Peter laughed and zoomed in on you. With his phone blocking his face, he could shamelessly admire your face on his screen.
“Duh. Lily.”
“I can so see that.” He chuckled. The subway lurched suddenly and you both grabbed onto the pole, coincidentally putting your hands in top of each others.
“Oh, sorry. Our hands touched.” You laughed shyly.
“Oh my God. So romantic.” Peter joked, making you blush and look into his camera.
“Stop it.” You laughed and covered his phone with your hand. He laughed as well and put his phone away.
After learn you had never been, Peter decided to the Lego Store. He’d been hyping it up to you all week over text and now that it was finally happening, he hoped it impressed you. You walked in together and Peter heard you gasp.
“Big Lego Aladdin.” You gasped and ran to stand under the giant magic carpet and Aladdin made of Legos.
“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that string of words come out of someone’s mouth.” Peter laughed and went to stand under it with you. You looked over at him and were surprised to see he was already looking at you.
“This is even better than you described it. You need to show me everything.” You said and excitedly shook his arm.
“I can do that.” He blushed and nodded his head towards some of the sets.
Peter took out his phone to film you as you looked at everything in the store. The way you were looking around like a little kid brought a smile to Peter’s face. He zoomed in on you and caught himself staring at you fondly through the camera.
“Come on. I haven’t even showed you the coolest part yet.” Peter said and brought you over to the build your figure own station. He laughed when you gasped again and started to excitedly rummage through all the pieces. Peter didn’t bring his phone out again until you had built each other.
“Show me what you made.” He laughed from the other side of the phone.
“Looks! It’s a little Peter. He has a backpack and a beaker.” You said as you proudly showed the camera the little Peter figure you had made.
“This is Y/n. I can’t believe I found the shoes you always wear.” He said as he filmed the figure he had made of you.
“You notice my shoes?” You asked with a smile. Peter didn’t catch it because he was too busy fitting the hands of your Lego figures together.
“Look. They’re holding hands.” Peter gasped.
“Aw.” You laughed. “Us on the subway.”
“We should give them some privacy. They might not want us to hard launch their relationship.” Peter said and put his phone away.
“You’re so cute.” You laughed without thinking about it. Peter looked up at you with rosy cheeks and you gulped when you realized what you said.
“I mean-“
“Come on. I wanna take you somewhere else.” He cut you off before you could explain. He brought you to Delmar’s and ordered his usual for you to split. You sat together inside and you tried your best to remain calm. You always wondered what Peter got up to when he wasn’t at school and now you were in one of his favorite places and eating with him.
“Okay, this is Y/n’s first time eating at Delmars since he reopened. Let’s get her reaction.” Peter said as he filmed you unwrapping the sandwich.
“Wait, why is it so flat?” You laughed and held the sandwich up.
“Oh, sorry.” He chuckled. “I forgot to warn you that he always squishes it for me. But you’ll like it. Trust me. It’s much better when it’s squished down real flat.”
“Well I’m glad I now know you like your sandwiches to be squished. I would not have expected that about you.” You said and took a bite of your half before giving him a thumbs up.
“Yeah? You like it?” He asked hopefully.
“I do. Your squishy sandwich was surprisingly good.” You admitted.
“Well, I’m very pleased to hear that.” Peter smiled and phone away. “So to make it even, you have to show me one of your favorite places next time we hang out.”
“Oh.” You smiled coyly. “I didn’t realize there would be a next time.”
“There better be. I had a lot of fun with you today. How come we’ve never hung out before?”
“I don’t know. I always wanted to but you were busy running around with Ned or staring at…” You trailed off and chose not to mention Liz in case he was still hung up on her.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad we’re friends now.” You said instead.
“Me too. I’ve never had a girl friend.”
“What was that?” You said and started choking on your saliva.
“All my friends in my life were guys. It’ll be nice to have a female influence in my life.”
“Oh. Girl friend.” You smiled tightly.
You hung out another hour before taking the subway back to your respective apartments. Peter walked to you the front doors of you building and you had an awkward moment where you didn’t know if you should hug or not.
“We uh, we should probably get an ending for your film.” You said with a timid smile.
“Oh, right. Thats a great idea.” Peter smiled and pulled out his phone. He pressed record and you waved to the camera with both hands.
“So, can you give our first time hanging out a rating?” He asked you.
“9/10.” You grinned and held up two thumbs.
“What? Why’d I only get a 9?” Peter scoffed and pretended to be offended.
“I had a 10/10 time but I have to deduct a point because we saw that guy cutting his hair on the subway and I was scared he was gonna throw the scissors at us.”
“Well I would’ve just protected you with my lightning fast reflexes.” Peter said simply. You smiled at him through the phone and he smiled back. He put the camera down and looked at you with a content smile on his face.
“Seriously, though. When’s the next time we’re hanging out?”
It ended up being just a few days later. And then again a few days after that.
“Peter’s first time!” You cheered as you filmed him during one of your hang outs.
“Trying boba.” He clarified. “I don’t understand this drink. Do I eat the balls?”
“Yes. Sip it slowly so they don’t all go down your throat.” You instructed. Peter took a big sip and immediately started choking.
“Peter! I said slowly!” You said as you slapped his back until he stopped choking. You quickly put the camera down to help him recover.
Your hangouts started getting more and more frequent and Peter soon considered you a best friend. Your weekends became each others and school days were often spent together in the library or at one of your apartments. You were quickly moving up the ranks in Peter’s life, just as you hoped. And the closer you got, the more Peter could not believe he had never noticed you before.
Little did you know, Peter often found himself watching the footage he had taken of you during your hang outs with a big smile on his face. He’d rewatch the videos he had taken and realize that they were slowly becoming less of a documentary and more of a highlight reel for you. He never imagined a girl as cool as you would for him so when he realized he was starting to fall for you, he quickly repressed his feelings. Little did he know, the feelings were mutual.
“Did you always make these little videos?” You asked Peter one day as he filmed you trying to balance on the curb of the sidewalk.
“I used too make them all the time but I hadn’t for awhile. I only started them again when we started hanging out.”
“Really? Why?” You wondered and stumbled off the curb.
“I don’t know. You remind me of the time before my life got crazy. It made me want to do these again.” He shrugged. You couldn’t help but smile at that information and turned around to look at him.
“So I could be the star?” You asked and posed for the camera.
“Exactly. You’re my muse.” He played along, making you laughed shyly. When he watched the video back later that night, he knew he had meant every word of that.
Peter sat in his bedroom one day and filmed himself wearing your glasses while you did homework at his desk. He looked over you every now and then just to admire the back of your head.
“Don’t break those.” You called without looking up. All you needed to hear was the sound of your glasses case opening to know what he was doing.
“I’m not even wearing your glasses.” He lied and admired himself in the camera.
“Yes you are.”
“No I’m not. But yes, I am.”
“Knew it.” You snorted.
“Hey, how come girls always smell so good?” Peter wondered. “Your hair hit me in the face when you turned too fast before it smelled like a baby in a damn meadow.”
“It’s just my womanly essence. Now can you stop looking at yourself long enough to help me with my chemistry homework?”
“It’ll be hard but I can try.” Peter dramatically sighed and set his phone down. You got yo from the desk and went over to the bed with a cheeky smile on your face.
“Incoming.” You announced and patted your elbow twice like a wrestler.
“No, don’t.” He pleaded. You ignored his pleas and jumped on top of him. He groaned and pushed you off, leaving you laying in the bed beside him.
“Ow. My ribs.”
“You’ll heal.” You rolled your eyes. “Now can you help me with number 7?”
“Oh, yeah. No problem. Can you check this email before I send it?” He asked and handed over his laptop. You handed him your worksheet before reading over his email draft.
“Oh, honey.” You grimaced just a few words into the email.
“Is it bad?”
“Good evening, Mrs. Howard. I hope this email finds you well. I’m so sorry for bothering you. I was just wondering if I could possibly have an extension on my midterm paper? No worries at all if an extension is not possible. I apologize for any inconvenience this email may have caused. Thank you for reading, Peter Parker.” You read out loud.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“After your name, you included the name of the class, the time you have it, and a description of yourself. She knows who you are!” You laughed and turned the laptop around to show him his mistakes.
“She may have forgotten.” He pointed out. “I can’t take any chances.”
“Peter, this email is way too submissive. You sound like such a bottom.”
“Well excuse me, genius.” He said sarcastically. “How would you write it?”
“Here.” You said and handed the laptop back after retyping his email.
“Oh, wow. That’s actually really good.” He said once he read your updated version.
“This is why we are such good friends. You have all the math and science knowledge in this little, beautiful head of yours-“
“Little?” He interrupted.
“You’re right. Sorry, I was just being nice. What I meant to say is that your head is huge.” You corrected. “Anyways, you have the math brain and I have the literary brain. It’s like you’re Einstein and I’m Victor Hugo.”
“Who the hell is that?” He laughed as he peaked at your mirror to see if his head was actually huge.
“The guy who wrote Les Mis.” You said like it was obvious.
“Never heard of it.”
“What? You’ve never seen Les Misérables?” You asked in a thick French accent.
“Huh?”
“We have to watch it. It’s so good.” You said and snatched his laptop back. You pulled up the movie and handed it back to him.
“Oh my God. It’s two hours and 38 minutes long? And a musical? Hell no.” Peter shook his head and pushed the laptop away.
“But it’s so good.” You urged. “We can just leave it on in the background while we work. It’s super light and easy to watch.”
“Really? What’s it about?”
“Oh, you know. Just war torn France.” You mumbled.
“No. Absolutely not.”
“But you’ll like it! There’s prostitution and con men and um…oh! And orphans! You can watch it and feel represented.” You said and shook his arm.
“I hate you.” He laughed but nearly gave in to your request just to see you happy.
“Fine.” You huffed. “I finished editing your midterm paper, by the way. You don’t actually have to send that email.”
“And here is your completed chemistry homework.” Peter smiled and handed your worksheet back.
“Aw.” You gushed. “Look at us. I love cheating with you.”
“So do I. We make a great pairing.” He chuckled as he looked over at you. You looked back at him and gulped. You hadn’t realized how close you were with your arms and legs pressed against each other as you sat together in your bed. Peter knew his sheets would smell like your perfume that night and smiled at the thought.
“Now that we’re all done with our work, you know what we should do?” He asked as he moved in closer.
“W-what should we do?” You stuttered now that he was right there.
“You know what I’ve been dying to do with you for a long, long time?” He asked.
“No. I mean, I don’t know. What?” You laughed nervously. Peter moved in even closer and right when you thought he was gonna kiss you, he reached over and grabbed his laptop back.
“I wanted to show you a real musical. Not this French miserable bull crap. Have you ever seen a little movie called Hair-“
“No. I’m not watching Hairspray with you again. You scream-sang every lyric last time and I couldn’t even hear it.” You cut him off and reached over home to take the laptop back. He pulled it away at the last second and you ended up on top of him. You looked into each others eyes and both froze in the positions you were in. Your faces were almost touching but neither of you tried to pull away. Your eyes were going back and forth between his lips and eyes and he was doing the same. Like magnets, you two started to lean towards each other but before your lips could connect, May opened the door.
“What did you guys want- oh! Sorry! I didn’t realize I would be interrupting something. My bad.” May smiled sheepishly and pretended to cover her eyes. Peter burned bright red as you quickly climbed off of him.
“May.” He said warningly.
“Sorry. But maybe lock the door next time. And use protection.”She whispered the last part before shutting the door.
“May!” He groaned and threw a pillow at the door. There was a long, awkward silence before you were even able to look at each other. When you finally did, you smiled awkwardly and kept your distance.
“That was so weird. What did she think we were doing?” You laughed nervously to break the silence.
“Psh. I know.” Peter scoffed. “She said she was interrupting but we weren’t even doing anything.”
“Yeah. What did she think? That we were gonna kiss or something?” You asked and laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing you could ever suggest.
“Us? Kissing? How silly. Imagine that.” Peter forced a laugh as well and looked to the side. The awkward silence returned and you struggled to look at each other.
“Do you think she made dinner?” Peter asked after a beat of silence.
“Let’s check.” You said and quickly got off the bed.
You didn’t discuss the almost kiss and went home shortly after. You couldn’t sleep that night because you couldn’t stop replaying the moment in your mind. No matter how much you wanted him to like you back, if Peter reciprocated your feelings, he would have kissed you.
Your pity party didn’t last long because on the subway the next day, you felt Peter put his earbud in your ear. You heard the Les Mis soundtrack playing in your ear and looked up in surprise. Peter was already filming you with a huge smile on his face.
“This guy 24601 should stop stealing bread and stick to singing. He has serious pipes.” Peter said.
“You listened to it?” You melted into a smile and held your hand over your heart.
“Yep. I stayed up all night watching lyric videos because I couldn’t understand what they were saying with their accents. It’s actually really good. I love Eponine. I just wish Marious wasn’t such an idiot. How does he not see that his best friend is clearly in love with him?” Peter asked with exasperation. You looked directly at the camera and hoped it picked up the irony before looking at Peter again.
“He’s not an idiot. He’s a romantic.” You sighed. “He doesn’t notice Eponine because he’s in love with Cosette. And course he is. She’s prettier and richer and has perfect hair. He doesn’t even see Eponine.”
“Good hair isn’t everything. Eponine is way better than Cosette.” Peter scoffed. “I’m team Eponine all the way.”
“Are you really?” You asked hopefully.
“Oh, for sure. I see why you like this stuff. These songs are awesome.” Peter said and put the other earbud in his ear. He then flipped the camera around to film the two of you sharing earbuds. As Heart Full Of Love played in your ears, you couldn’t help but longingly staring at Peter. The fact that he had stayed up late just to listen to something you suggested made you overcome with fondness for him. If he had done something like that, maybe he actually did feel the same.
“I forgot how good this album is. I haven’t listened in a while. I used to listen to it all the time back when you…” You stopped short when you realized you were about to say too much.
“When I what?” Peter wondered. You looked him in the eyes and decided that it was time to be honest. The song ended and a new, much louder one began to play in your ears.
“Back when you liked Liz. She was Cosette. I was Eponine. I was the one pining after a guy who never noticed me because he was in love with another girl. You were never mine to lose.” You admitted. Peter stared at you for a minute before pulling his earbud out.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear a word you just said. Master of the House is such a banger. What did you say?” He asked you.
“Never mind.” You smiled. “It wasn’t important.”
He smiled back before getting a text on his phone. You looked at his phone when you heard it buzz and realized he was still recording. In other words, he had just recorded you saying you liked him. Your eyes went wide but you only had a second to panic when you read the text he had gotten.
“Did Liz just text you?” You asked in a quiet voice. You felt like you were about to throw up. Years of crushing on a boy who liked another girl turned into months of pinning for your best friend and now turned into a rock in your stomach. Peter stopped recording the two of you to answer her text, which felt a little like a slap in the face.
“Oh, yeah. We’ve been talking lately.” He absentmindedly replied to you as he laughed at whatever she had written.
“You have?” You asked with a dry mouth.
“Yeah. She says Oregon is pretty cool. But she wants to come back and visit this summer to see everyone.” He told you.
“And see you?” You asked with a sad smile.
“I guess so.” He shrugged. “It would be nice to see her.”
“Yeah. Totally.” You said weakly. “So how long have you guys been talking?”
“I don’t know. A few weeks? She texted me a little while ago and we’ve been catching up.”
“That’s awesome.” You lied.
“I know. I didn’t think I’d ever hear from her again after she moved.”
“Neither did I.” You said through a forced smile. You needed to get off the subway and away from Peter before you started crying. So as soon as the subway doors opened, you bolted out.
“I gotta go. See you later.” You called to him before running through the subway station. You wiped tears as you went up the stairs and didn’t stop moving until you were in a bathroom stall at school. You gave yourself five minutes to be upset before drying your face and leaving the bathroom. It sucked, but it could have been worse. Now, Peter never had to know how you felt about it.
Peter was beyond confused by your exit on the subway but he wasn’t about to get any answers from you. You dodged his texts throughout the day and didn’t dare go into the lunchroom where you knew he and Ned would be.
“Y/n isn’t here yet?” Peter’s huffed as he sat down at your usual lunch table.
“Not yet. Actually, I haven’t seen your girlfriend all day.” Ned realized.
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter blushed. “And I’m pretty sure she’s avoiding me. She’s been so weird ever since this morning. Everything was fine on the subway until we got to school.”
“Well did anything happen on the subway that would weird her out? Oh no. Did you graze her boob with your hand again?”
“No. That was one time. And it was her boobs fault, not mine.” Peter whispered harshly. “We were just listening to music together and I was filming her like normal. But she could not get away from me faster once the doors opened. It was so weird.”
“Did you say anything weird to her? Girls don’t like it when you say weird things to them.”
“I know that. I didn’t say anything weird.” Peter replied as he pulled out his phone. He watched the video he had taken on the subway with no sound to see where he had gone wrong. All he saw was you looking at him with heart eyes which made his face heat up. But still, no evidence of where he messed up.
“I knew it. We were having a normal conversation about Les Mis and then I got a text from and then she ran. It makes no sense.”
“What was the text? Was it May saying something weird?”
“No. And stop saying weird. It doesn’t sound like a real word anymore.” Peter ordered. “And the text was just from Liz.”
“Oh shit.” Ned said when he heard this.
“What?” Peter wondered.
“Oh, Peter.” Ned sighed. “Peter, Peter, Peter.”
“What?” He asked again, annoyed now.
“Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter.”
“Are you gonna tell me what happened or just keep saying my name?”
“I can’t tell you. I’m sworn to secrecy. And I don’t want Y/n to put a hex on my family.” Ned said and held up his hands.
“Y/n swore you to secrecy? About what?”
“Can’t say.” Ned shrugged and zipped his lips.
“Does she not like Liz? And doesn’t want me to know?”
“Dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude. You are so close but so far.”
“So she does like Liz? Oh my God. Does she a crush on Liz? And she’s jealous that Liz texted me and not her?” Peter whispered with wide eyes.
“You’re getting colder.” Ned waved his hand. “I don’t even know how you got there.”
“That was all my guesses. Just tell me.” Peter whined.
“Hell no. I don’t want Y/n to curse my crops and make not grow for all of eternity.”
“You don’t have crops.” Peter pointed out.
“I could develop some.” Ned snapped.
“I just don’t understand what she would tell you something but not tell me. We’re best friends. She usually tells me everything.” Peter said right as his thumb accidentally hit the volume button on the video. Your confession to Peter on the subway was heard loud and clear by the two boys. Both of their jaws dropped as the video ended with you asked if Liz had just texted Peter.
“Well I wouldn’t have beaten around the bush like that if I knew you had video evidence of her saying she liked you right in your hands.” Ned sighed dramatically.
“I need to find her.” Peter said and ran out of the lunchroom. He looked around the school until he found you under the bleachers in the gym. You were sitting with your back against the wall and your knees drawn to your chest with your earbuds in your ears. When you saw Peter coming up to you, you quickly pulled them out.
“Hey.” He said and waved cautiously.
“Hey.” You smiled sadly as he sat beside you. You sat in silence for a minute as neither of you knew what to say.
“What’s going on with you? I haven’t seen you all day.” He started off. You looked at your hands to avoid making eye contact and sighed.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been talking to Liz?” You asked quietly.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t hiding it. I just didn’t think it would interest you.”
“Well you have no idea how interesting I found it.” You laughed dryly. “What do you guys talk about anyway?”
“Well, she originally texted me to ask me to confirm I had an internship at Stark Industries because her boyfriend didn’t believe her when she told him she knew a guy who worked there. Apparently he’s been trying to get an internship there for years and he wanted to know how I landed mine. Then we just started catching up. I only talk to her here and there, though. And it’s only ever about school or work.”
“Oh. I thought you guys were talking talking.” You couldn’t help but smile a little when you heard the word “boyfriend.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Just regular talking. When you saw her text on my phone, she was telling me about her cat getting spaded. And I didn’t know what that meant so she had to tell me. I should’ve just googled it.”
You laughed softly at that and he did too. The tension was let out of the conversation and you could finally breathe again. When you stopped laughing, you finally looked in his eyes.
“Do you still have feelings for her?” You asked quietly.
“For her? No.” He laughed. “Those are long gone. I have feelings for someone else now.”
“Oh God. Don’t even tell me. I don’t want to know.” You groaned and buried your face in your hands. Peter looked at you for a minute until an idea came to him.
“Actually, uh, I came looking for you because I was just making another video. Wanna be in it?” Peter asked and took out his phone. You looked at him like he was crazy and could not believe he had just asked that during that moment.
“I’m not really in the mood right now, P.”
“Come on. I can’t make it without my muse.” He said and nudged you slightly. You couldn’t help but to smile at that and reluctantly nodded. He propped up his phone against the bleachers and pressed record.
“In a world where two best friends have no idea how to communicate despite spending way too much time together.” Peter said in a fake deep, gravely voice.
“Okay. Shade. That’s fine.”
“What will it take for them to admit they have feelings for each other?” He kept the voice as he looked at you.
“Wait, what?” You asked and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. Peter smiled softly at you and shrugged a little.
“What’s it gonna take?” He asked again in his normal voice.
“I don’t understand.” You laughed nervously.
“I watched the video from before. From the subway. I heard what you said.” He admitted.
“Oh shit. You watched it?” You grimaced.
“Uh huh. So if you’re Eponine, I guess that makes me the idiot who didn’t realize his best friend was in love with him?”
“I guess so.” You said with a tight smile and still didn’t understand why he wanted to film this incredibly awkward conversation.
“You know, if I didn’t have a video of it, I never would have believed that you liked me.” Peter told you.
“You wouldn’t? Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t seem possible that the coolest girl I’ve ever met liked me.” He replied.
“You think I’m cool?” You asked skeptically.
“I think you’re the coolest. And you know, I watch the videos I take of you all the time. And half of them are just clips of you existing. So I do notice you. It just took me a second to catch up.” He told you. A smile tugged at your lips as you stared into his big brown eyes.
“You’re my best friend.” You told him. “I’m sorry I want more.”
“I’m not sorry.” He shrugged.
“You’re not?”
“I’m just sorry it took me so long to wake up and find that what I’ve been looking for has been here the whole time.” He said as he hooked his pinky under your chin and brought your face close to his.
“Wait, why does that sound so familiar?” You wondered.
“Don’t think about it too hard.” Peter whispered right before your lips touched. You kissed for the first time under the bleachers but it could have been in a palace for all you knew. The world disappeared around you as Peter slipped a hand behind your head to deepen the kiss. When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads together and laughed nervously together. It was a good nervous, a happy feeling of anticipation.
“Was that Taylor Swift?” You realized when you finally placed where you knew that like from.
“Shh. No.” He shook his head. “But yes, it was. You’re not the only one with good music taste.”
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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 7 months ago
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roomies | s.r. x gn!reader
“i don’t think he’s gonna agree.”
“he’s gonna agree cause he promised me at least once.”
derek and penelope bickered outside the dark wood of spencer reid’s apartment. the said promise was going to a bar with a majority of the team, gideon and hotch declining. jj and emily were already at their usual bar, derek was sulking due to being dragged into this side mission, already expecting a lengthy no.
penelope rapped her knuckles to the wood, “well tonight might be the night he surprises you.” her toes giving a slight bounce while waiting about ten seconds.
there was the sound of footsteps on the other side and the twisting of a lock. the door swung open all the way and insteade of the slender doctor reid greeting them, they stood in front of someone unknown.
“can i… help you?” you asked the two strangers on your doorstep. their faces showing clear confusion and curiosity.
the chubby blonde open and closed her mouth before asking, “does- does a spencer reid live here?” twisting her rings. penelope was positive this was spencer’s address, but she didn’t want to come off as a stalker or something.
your body shifted a bit, from kinda loose to now more concerned. “who’s asking?” eyeing them both skeptically.
derek took the moment to mess around. he pulled his badge from his jacket pocket and flashed it, with a straight and serious voice he said, “the fbi. we need to ask doctor reid some questions.”
you called over your shoulder, “spence! the fbi is here!” keeping them outside the threshold.
there was quick steps from inside that grew closer and over your shoulder, spencer popped into view. he stood beside you, “what are you guys doing here?”
you looked at him, “you know them, right?” fingers messing with the shiny knob. spencer quelled yours nerves with a shy smile, “they work with me at the bau.” your mouth shaped into an ‘o’ at the information.
“you gonna introduce us, boy wonder? being a rude house guest.” the blonde reached an arm out to wack at spencer’s bicep. you and the other man chuckled at her antics.
“this is penelope garcia, our analysis. and derek morgan works in the field with me.” you outstretched a welcoming hand, “i’m y/n, his roommate.”
derek was the first to shake hands, “pretty boy never told us he shared a space with anyone. you know, with his thing about germs.”
“i’ve know him since high school. moved here for college, so it worked out. he’s more open to it since we’ve known each other for a while.” shrugging off derek’s assumption.
“oh!” a yelp from the blonde, penelope, “you should join us for drinks tonight. maybe it’ll convince this one to join us.” she’s pointed a painted finger at spencer, “i’m cashing in your promise.”
you cocked a brow, “promise?” asked for anyone to answer. penelope did, “this one promised that he would come out with us once, well more like forced out if it’s been awhile. and it has, so it’s now the two of you we’re dragging along.” she clapped her hands together twice, “come on. the night isn’t long for us.”
you weren’t gonna force spencer out, but it did sound promising. “i could use a break…” mumbled out the side of your mouth. you looked at spencer who locked eyes with you, he twisted his mouth then sighed, relenting to his fate. “fine, fine. we’ll meet you there.”
“oh! this is gonna be so fun! i can’t wait to chat with you.” penelope reached in for an impulse hug, one you reciprocated after a moment pause. you chuckled, “same here.”
your two guest shortly left and spencer closed the door behind him. you turned to him with crossed arms over your chest and a playful pout to your lips, “kinda hurtful they didn’t know about me.”
spencer licked his lips with a bashful smirk, “wanted you to myself for a while.” cupping into your cheeks and pressing a soothing kiss to wash away your puckered lips. “best get ready, they can get impatient very fast.”
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angstandhappiness · 3 months ago
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FASCINATING
Hi, do you have any more thoughts on Kolivan recognizing keith// his parent's (mom kogane's) blade?? I'm intrigued by that angle of perspective and would love if you could divulge further! Thank you very much!
Honestly something I think about, if Kolivan and the other Blade members do recognize the Blade is… there’s an element of their own grief probably tied up in this?
From the start we’ve seen the Blade acting weirdly personal about Keith’s knife. Several members, especially Antok, were incredibly angry at him having it in a way that’s more personal than just “that’s not yours to have”. But Thace was seemingly greatly reassured by it, in the sense that even going to his death, he seemed strangely hopeful and happy to know Keith was out there with that specific weapon.
Keep reading
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