#since i planned to go to work tonight
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i have temporarily inherited chads insomnia :/
#i was in a car accident sunday night#few minutes from work#i am fine#but it took a lot out of me#so i took last night off#well i have been up since like midnight#and i have had a migraine since 1pm#so thats fun#i am so fucking tired#called out of work tonight too cause i am so done#my pill schedule has been a mess cause my work schedule being interrupted#gotta love night shift fucking things up#so i have been unmedicated since sunday night lmfao#since i planned to go to work tonight#thank god i already was using a stat for tomorrow#now i can relax til the weekend#anyways#your boy is tired#i just popped my sleep meds#so hopefully i decease soon#🍏 ── ⠀❪ ooc ┊ most likely to not give a fuck . 👻
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Finished editing next chapter of the Hotguy/Cuteguy Love-square fic, now the question is do I post now or wait until my original planned date of Friday/Saturday?
#the other me fic#hotguy#cuteguy#scarian#hermitshipping#mental ill brain says post tonight for more immediate validation#other part says wait and restart consistent posting schedule (Still going every two weeks instead of every week tho)#going to have it as a draft ready to publish and then go to bed since its 1am here#but if people who care about the fic and want it now see this#tell me and i'll just hit post in the morning#if not lets say it will be up Friday afternoon (est)#i'll post between work and going to see Rocky Horror#either way new update very soon!#and boy are they getting closer to figuring out their shit#but also#we're getting closer to the small bit of angst I have planned :D#its endgame angst and the identity reveal i've had planned since the conception of this fic#I can't wait#only like two or three chapters till its all done#maybe more if i write like a lot#chapter 15 is just over 3k tho#which is one of the longer ones so far
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Someone tell me why the world’s best writers for television are currently producing an animated show marketed to young children
(Yes this is about Miraculous Ladybug)
#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#mlb season 6#what is going ON#They have building to this point since literally day 1#And that’s more than most television writers can say#They had a plan that took 5 seasons to get to and it was so worth it#I literally pity their writers because of how insane it must be to maintain continuity these days#Like. This show#Is a marvel of storytelling#And everyone believes it’s just a kids show#A show for preschoolers and elementary schoolers#But this is the most insane writing I have ever seen in television#I want more people to see it but few people would be willing to because it’s “just for kids”#UGH#For anyone curious as to what inspired this post#I finally watched the London special tonight lol#To be clear: I am not COMPLAINING that the writers are working on this show#Quite the opposite#but WHY IS IT ONLY CONSIDERED A KIDS SHOW
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okay so my college got evicted and they didnt tell us until today by putting a notice on the door 💀 so my cosmo license is on hold until they figure their shit out
#i just hit 500 hours.............ive spent more time there than i have playing project diva#well if they do close down they better give me my money back. idk how many of my hours would be transferrable but hey#if i can get some money back before we plan to move then I'm chillin#im already chillin tho bc i didnt even hear about it(through a friend who sent me a pic her friend sent of the notice on the door)#until this afternoon while i was high as fuck enjoying my dim sum and youtube videos. so hey i dont have to do a haircut tonight#AND i get more time to enjoy my food and weed. this is awesome#plus my fiance is coming over tonight since im not at school lets gooooooooooooo#im hyped bc I havent had a real day off that i havent had to plan for since june i think#since i work friday-tuesday and have school tuesday-saturday. and ive got the next three days off from work to go to medieval times#this is ultimately a major W for me because i have no choice but to take the night off
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moodboard
#personal#GODDDDDDD fuck ive thrown up three or four times today and have had horrible other stomach problems and now on top of all that im pretty#sure this has exacerbated my period symptoms bc now my lower back hurts like hell and my legs are so achy and every time istand up i get#lightheaded#it took me a fucking hour to make a smoothie for myself bc i kept feeling weak and at one point had to run upstairs to Expel My Insides in#the middle of it#also all of this means no auditions for me today 👍🏻 messaged director to let her know i wouldn’t be coming in and also to ask her to tell#stage manager that despite my bailing on this i do plan to be involved in crew still 👍🏻 since the stage manager told me she’d see me at#auditions since she’s part of the audition committee. anyway director messaged back saying i could do an email audition which was very#nice of her so i guess im supposed to send a vid of me singing + reading some sides + following a choreographed routine once she sends me#the guide for that which she said she would do later… since she like just said that im guessing it will be like 9 at least by the time she#gets it to me so hopefully it’s fine if i do that tmrw morning instead of tonight bc i don’t want to disturb my roommates#<- we are all students btw sorry this is making it sound like i have a weirdly informal relationship w the audition committee#the music chronicles#anyway also emailed asking if i could take work off tmrw bc i still feel like shit and don’t want them scrambling to figure out the#schedule tmrw morning if i had called then instead. they haven’t replied yet tho#also i feel like. sick bc tmrw is MLK jr day and like what if theyre thinking i thought we had the day off and am now finding out we don’t#and just spitting out an excuse to not come in bc i made plans for it or smth… ugh#lke it would be fine if it were just this but I also requested Feb 7 off not long ago and last week my testing went so overtime like they#are going to think im slacking so bad… :/#i am straight up not having a good time ‼️#cw emetophobia#also if i am still sick tmrw that means no working on crony with lab partner either since we meet on mondays ☹️ was looking forward to that#even if im not sick actually i still shouldn’t go bc i called off work and we work on it in the same building as my workplace so if they#saw me that wouldn’t be great#the engineering chronicles
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ohoho boy tomorrow is gonna be so bad but yanno what I’m gonna be a brave little guy and I’m gonna treat myself to back to back bath days so it’s all gonna be good in the end. Today was so bad today was fucking dreadful but there will be a way !!!!! I have to remember the small joys I have to stay strong
#I hate driving lessons. I’m sick of pretending that I don’t dread them every week. The guy who teaches me can tell and it pisses him off but#I HAVE to learn to drive I just have to and I WANT to be able to drive I just don’t wanna have to do it.#Plus idk what I’m gonna do bc it snowed today and if it’s still snowy out where I drive it’s gonna be cold asf and I’m gonna hate it !!!!#It’ll be fucking SCARY I’m already scared driving normally#And then I have psychology which isn’t even bad but I had a really bad consolidation task and ever since I haven’t been able to delete that#Connotation between the two in my brain.#I’m gonna create plans tho im gonna decide what im wearing for the next three days and a couple fun things that are going into my schedule#So I can look forward without worrying about offsetting the routine which is what ruined today (fuck snow)#I’m gonna try and read more and spend less money!!!!#Now I’m happy because I’ve got a bit of chill time tonight and then Friday’s horrors will fly pass effortlessly I’m sure and then before I#Know it it’ll be Saturday and the worries will be gone especially as now I know work bestie hasn’t like. Died (work bestie was like really#bad sick last week)
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daigo-gets-trolled kinda fuckin panel
#snap sketches#sorry ignore me#im looking at all the comics i drafted this month and deciding which ones i wanna finish and which ones get sent to hell#and this panel of daigo still makes me chortle.. maybe ill finish this one idk#i just dnt wanna color it uuUUGHGGHGH WHY DO I COLOR THINGS NOW#whyyy doi draw so much thisshit lame as hell#ok im gonna go look at em again and decide which one to work on during stream tomorrow#cause lbr im not finishing any of em on stream LMAOOOO#i was gonna stream tonight but. is anyone even awake.#i mean yeah LOL but i feel low energy#so im gonna be more boring than usual#plus my only plans are to finish sketching some stuff for a comic ill Probably work on tomorrow#so itd be a real short stream since i only have like one or two things left to sketch#anyway. good night ill see Some of yall tomorrow :]#OH YEAH NO NIGORI FOR ME the liquor store closed half an hour early... and after my phone died and i got lost for a hot minute#so mean so cruel :( at least i got a cute kuromi pen from the ebisu store :) which i forgot i lived by until i saw it on my map :)#IM SO MAD THO I WAS SO TIRED I DIDNT REALIZE I HAD MONEY FR A KIRBY GACHA CAPSULE :(((((( maybe next month...#ok im rambling now BYE
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the burnout is real lads . . . . .
#which is to say that i came home and just stared at the wall for roughly 2 hours instead of completing my documents#it was at least validating to get to talk to one of my coworkers today#and hear that they're just as burnt out as i am#and usually have to sit in the parking lot for 4 to 5 minutes before they come in because they just don't want to be here that badly#and it feels hard to admit because this is typically thought of as a passion driven profession#and it's like#neither of us have lost the passion for it???#it's not that we hate our jobs#it's just that we both feel like. we're putting in increasingly more effort week by week but we're just.#no longer getting results.#i mentioned how i feel like my faith in my ability to do this kind of work has just plummeted to zero#not at all helped by my mentor constantly pushing me to go faster and faster but then getting mad when my presentations go poorly#because i went faster or reduced the amount of material or cut the Q and A section down 10 minutes#i just feel . . . . . tired . . . . . . . . . . .#i still need to write three planning documents for tonight#one of which needs to be Really Good because my direct supervisor will be looking at it#but my god#i just want to sleep for three days straight and then stare at a wall for another three#i'm so close to the end though . . . . .#just another 15 of these documents (including the three from tonight) and that about covers my internship#of course then there's also the seminar work and the group project and all the fancy official employment documents#and. the portfolio project (a man screams in agony)#but god . . . . . . . .#so close . . . . . . . .#so close . . . . . .#once i'm free from the portfolio it's back to zola work and THEN . . . . . . . . . .#i can finally have a substantial mental health break for the first time since last may ;;; _____ ;;;
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procrastinating reading the last chapter of this fic bc I've been reading it for like a week straight and it's so good and just. im not ready for it to be over.
#rip#in case you were wondering this has been where most of my freetime has been#not that I've had a whole lot of freetime in the last week but nonetheless#i literally decided to go to tge haikyuu movie tomorrow instead of my og plan of tonight#just so i could finish the fic tonight since its the first time literally all week i haven't had plans after work#or well. plans that COULDN'T be moved anyway.#shh ac
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i said no to somebody today :)
#it’s the small things really#like i’m such a pushover and it’s so scary when people KNOW that#and i know it too#like i’m an extreme people pleaser that always puts other people’s comforts ahead of my own to an extreme level#and there are some people in my life who only interact with me bc they know this about me#BUT#today i managed to say no to a taking someone’s closing shift too since i’m working opening shift#bc this person wanted to go get a tattoo but didn’t put in their request off#and this person KNEW i had plans to go out tonight myself#side note: this person has ALSO screwed me over multiple times even tho i literally saved them from getting fired TWICE#did the blank look of not understanding and questioning why i couldn’t suck?? yeah. but i advocated for myself and stood my ground#that’s not easy for me#but i did it!
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How it feels trying to open .wrk file in TSWR to work on the project and the whole file won't open due to the program crashing while saving.
Luckily, I still have the package file I've been using to preview my work in the game, but the fact of the matter is I was 75% done and now all the progress was lost into a void. Thankfully, I saved all necessary texture maps.
#Sims related#Kelz Conversions#Sims 3#Random#Like all my hard work since Tuesday#just gone???#Literally was talking to my roommate last night and explaining what I was working on and the programed crashed 3 times within 5 minutes#Like tbh I could've knocked the Vitiligo body mask project out tonight and have it for download in the morning#But of course TSWR had other plans#Like I'm just about to close photoshop and go play my legacy family because I can't
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I started thinking about something when walking back from town just now and the thought is that Roman would go completely out of his way to get ahold of a child he’s taken a liking to, even going as far as befriending the parent/s until a suitable ‘accident’ could be arranged. In swoops Roman, picking up the pieces and offering to give the child a good home, just pulling all the strings he can to get what he’s after - a heir to mold in his image.
#💀 ;; OOC#💀 || musings#When your muse doesn't necessarily want biological kids but still has raging child fever#Every boss with a long term plan ideally wants an heir to continue it when he starts getting old#Roman would be fucked up enough to pull a stunt like this#Going out of his way to become part of the family only to shatter it and take what he wants#Kind of like a reverse Bruce Wayne when adopting Dick Grayson#Got one more shift tonight and then I'm off all week!#Barring tomorrow since I'm still catsitting but won't be in such a rush for work ect#I will post pictures of the cat too if people are interested#There are two cats but one is super shy and still won't say hello lol
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it's the 23rd... you know what that means...
Happy Ash Day!
#hehe it's my day! not too many special plans other than some cake but. lots of f/o rot#my wonderful wife a.qua is canonically good at baking. i think she'd make a cake for her beloved. i get so happy thinking about a.qua!#shes the sweetest girl ever and i'm always soooo honored that she loves me too#i have a lot of f/os and i could go on forever about all the little things theyd like to do for their special pal's birthday#but also. i've been getting into x.enoblade... and have feelings for a character... i am 🤏 this close to putting him on the list#but uh. a birthday kiss perhaps?#ash rambles 💚#but man.. just spending the day with the people that i love is really all i need. hehe so happy to be with them all!#hope everyone has a great day!#and since it's very early for me. i hope i have a great day too!#happy ash day to me~~~ happy ash day to me~~~#i'd normally be asleep by now but. i'm very brainrotted over my wife tonight and i keep reading over some of my work about her and ash#i love this s/i so much. theyre childhood friends. shes blue and ash is red. a.qua is literally named a.qua and ash is ash#theyre red and blue. fire and water. been together forever. sometimes it really does feel like they were made for each other huh?#i have so much love for her in my heart. it makes my heart feel all skdjsjdhs when i think about her#oh but where was i#right. my birthday! i have a shit ton of fankids too so i bet theyre having fun as well#but.. on the topic of k.h s/i..... R.IKU! MY LITTLE BRO!#they arent related or anything. ash just saw him and was all 'wow who is this sassy lost child... you are little bro now'#she'd get soooo emotional just knowing that the kiddo remembered. he shoots her a text on gummiphone or even visits whatever world she's in#and ash gets all 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and hugs him so tight#but yeah. birthday. f/os. lots of fluff. the good shit fr#fun times!
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it's getting bad again ((it's always been bad))
#vent#it's getting worse than it used to be in quite a while though#completely drained of motivation and energy#barely brushing my teeth and no energy to shower#just to turn on my light this evening i felt like i had an anchor tied to me#cried today and feeling like im going to cry again tonight before i fall asleep#sh'ed a few nights ago#i don't really plan on getting up out of bed earlier than noon since ill be pestered out of bed by family later than that#i am feeling terrible but my antidepressant stopped working#my body feels melted to this bed. i can't get up im really feeling extremely bad rn#ah yea. i can feel the waterfall coming
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submitted my first app 😖
#😭 didn’t plan to start this early but they said to do it by tonight and now i am worried abt when other companies want their apps in. i#should have asked them#i don’t think they all want them in now tho bc one of them told me she doesn’t start responding until january which. probably means i can#wait a bit right?? i don’t know 😭#personal#the engineering chronicles#feeling pretty okay abt how today went actually one employer told me i have a very high gpa and that she thought she read it wrong and#another i was talking to abt how even though they’re not a primarily medical company they do do medical stuff and i named and spoke abt the#things they’ve worked on and he seemed impressed by that knowledge. so#really worried tho bc. there are hardly any medical places my school has approved to apply to for this and companies that dont do medical#stuff don’t want biomedical engineering interns even if everything but my electives is the same as an ee’s coursework. bc we’re not going t#stick around for them to hire post grad. like ppl from these companies are straight up telling me not to bother applying or that they don’t#accept apps from ppl in my major etc. which fucking sucks especially since in ADDITION to that the vast vast majority of the companies#that Do have medical stuff going on are mechanical or manufacturing based not electrical. like. what do you expect me to do here#there is one company (the one the guy seemed impressed w me abt) that does electrical and coding stuff and i am really really interested in#them. but as i said the medical stuff is not their main focus and they’re more an all around place. and they also won employer or the year#or whatever a couple years ago. which means Everyone is going to be applying to this company. ugh
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Oh yeah I did manage to write 400 words in the woods today. I was gonna try to write more but I spent too much time playing with June Bug lol
But I have a start! I'm very much hoping that it'll get the rest coming soon...
#speculation nation#itnl shit#probs gonna roll thru what i have planned for the chapter b4 i sleep tonight#it's been over a week since i came up with it.#AGH how has the time passed like this? i hate going so long without writing#not for much longer... i WILL write before work tomorrow. i swear it.
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