#since i am no longer a minor - this felt like it was a safe option for me .

[inventivs]

due to some personal issues and superstitions , i will be changing my faceclaim for violet . instead of using malina , i am going to be using miss madison davenport from now on . psd and everything will be the same - just my faceclaim will be different . thank you for understanding .

[brrahbrrahcharacterimagines]

Groceries (Might Guy x Reader)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Might Guy x Reader

Word Count: 2723

Warnings: very minor angst, food mentions (TW for EDs)

A/N: Hope you enjoy! I've been so thirsty for Naruto characters recently it's not even funny

Also, this was originally two parts but I've combined them into one so let me know if the transition doesn't work!

Growing up in Konoha you always felt safe. You knew there were experienced shinobi there to protect you. As a little girl, you would see them walk down the streets and watch in awe as they passed by you.

Despite everything you had seen in terms of violence, you still felt safe in the Leaf Village. There had been some tense battles, but the leaf shinobi always prevailed.

It was a day more peaceful than most as you made your way down to the store. You only needed a few things, but with the nice weather you decided to take advantage of the day instead of waiting for the grocery list to get longer.

Smiling, you walked into the store to the tune of children laughing and birds chirping. It was like you were in a movie.

You made your way down the aisles, picking up the items you needed as you went. Milk, eggs, noodles, and more went into the small cart in your hands as you browsed. Lost in your own world, you didn't see the other cart as it came around the corner at the same time as your own.

The carts crashed into each other, you and the other person with them. It almost winded you, both from surprise and the force of falling into the cart.

"I am so sorry!" You explained, looking up to the man you found in front of you. Luckily, neither of your groceries seemed to have sustained much damage. You found yourself surprised to be met with the most gorgeous dark eyes you had ever seen.

"It's no problem!" Said the man, flashing you a confident smile with a thumbs up. "No damage done."

You felt a hot flush rise to your face, but thankfully the man didn't seem to notice.

"Thank you," you said in a fluster. You weren't sure what you were even thanking him for, not yelling at you? It was then that you took notice of his outfit, especially the band around his waist. "Are you a shinobi?"

The smile stayed ever-present on his face.

"Yes I am! A jonin of the Hidden Leaf Village!"

If you had just half the enthusiasm of this man, you think you would be running on empty in less than five minutes. Hearing he was a jonin, you were impressed.

"Well, thank you for all that you do," you offered, moving to continue your shopping.

Although your interaction was brief, you couldn't stop thinking about it as days passed. Something about his eyes, and his confidence, drew you into him. You tried to brush it off, seeing as it was such a simple interaction, but it was impossible. Even trying to tell yourself that he didn't remember you wouldn't work; there was still a part of your brain that would never quiet down.

You had never minded being a civilian in Konoha. Sure, when you were younger you had thought about being a konoichi, but those were just the thoughts of a child. You never pursued it. You were happy with your career, teaching young children in subjects other than jutsu.

Despite your happiness, you began to wish that you had gone to the academy. Then you would have been able to find the man who was plaguing your thoughts. Even after that, you might have been a real option for him. You knew shinobi tended to mostly be interested in other shinobi.

You didn't know why it upset you so much. You didn't even know the man's name, and yet you were sad that you might not be his type. Feeling a bit pathetic, you found yourself in need of another grocery run. Trying to ignore the thought that you might see him again, you made your way to the store.

Sadly, at least for that persistent, gremlin part of your brain, the trip was rather uneventful. At least, until you found yourself in front of the produce.

You were trying to eat healthier, but it was hard. It wasn't that you didn't like your body, you just wanted to feel better in your own skin. As you stood there pondering, a male voice scared you from your thoughts.

"Excuse me."

You turned, disappointed to see a man with silver spikes instead of the dark bowl cut you had hoped for. You mumbled a sorry, stepping out of his way.

"Careful Kakashi," boomed another voice, "I'd keep your distance from that woman's cart if I were you."

Now that is the voice you had been hoping for.

As you turned, the tall man immediately caught your eye. You blushed at his words, remembering your initial encounter. The other man, Kakashi, looked at you with confusion. He grabbed what he needed before walking away, leaving you and the other man alone.

"So what brings you back here?" He asked. Normally you would have thought of this as awkward conversation, but your heart leapt at the opportunity to talk to him again.

You sighed, "I'm trying to decide what I want. I wanted something healthy but I didn't want to just start grabbing vegetables."

"Then you're in luck," he grinned, "I'm somewhat of an expert. Try some blueberries, they're a superfood." He grabbed a package, placing them in his own cart. "They're on me today."

You tried to protest, but he wasn't having any of it. You made your way through checkout, paying the rest of your items before meeting back up with the man.

"Thank you," you told him, looking back up at his deep eyes. Pausing for a moment, you realized something. "I don't even know your name! How could I thank you for buying these before me without even learning your name?"

The man chuckled, extending his hand out to you.

"The name's Guy," he said loudly, shaking your hand. "Would it be crazy to ask for your name in return?"

You blushed as you grabbed his hand, his grip firm yet his hands soft.

"Y/n," you told him. He smiled.

"That's a beautiful name." His words did nothing to help calm the blush on your face. You were sure he knew exactly what he was doing to you based on the color of your cheeks alone. Suddenly Guy grew rather sheepish. "I know how this is going to sound, but would you want to come by my place sometime?"

Your eyes widened. After all this time wondering what this man was really like, he was just the type to invite you into bed with him immediately? Admittedly part of you was curious, but you weren't stupid.

"Excuse me?"

Now it was his turn to blush.

"Well I know how that sounds," Guy said quickly, trying to get his words out faster than he could think. "But I just meant to make you dinner. I could show you how to cook some vegetables so that they aren't all that bad."

Immediately you felt bad for assuming the worst, offering him a small smile.

"I would like that."

He smiled back at you. Guy gave you his address as the two of you decided on a time before parting ways. You couldn't help the giddy grin that covered your face as you walked home. Your date couldn't come fast enough.

---

In the days leading up to your date with Guy, it was all you could think about. You told yourself that was fine, since you were obsessing over him already. At least now you had a reason to.

The day was finally here, and as the hours ticked away you found yourself growing more nervous. Deciding what to wear was a challenge in itself. Did you want to try to dress up nicer, or would that be too much? Yet at the same time you worried dressing too casual would give him the idea that you weren't as interested as you were.

You tried on just about everything you owned, settling for a dress that made you feel pretty. It was fancy enough to make you feel like you were trying, but still casual enough that you would be comfortable.

You looked at the clock, seeing that you still had ample time before you needed to leave. Sitting down, your mind wandered. What would tonight be like?

in your mind you ran through a myriad of scenarios. If you didn't like the food he cooked, you would have to just stomach it and hope for the best. Based on what he told you at the store though, it seemed like he would know what he was doing. Still, you worried that something would go wrong.

Above all, there was a bigger question ringing out in your mind. Would he try to kiss you? And, would you want him to?

The seconds turned to minutes as you pondered, the minutes turning into hours until it was time to go. You collected your things, making sure to grab any and all essentials before you left. You had already told your friends who you would be with, going as far as to give them the address should anything go wrong. Guy seemed like such a nice guy, but you could never be too careful.

Locking the door to your apartment behind you, you set off. It was early in the evening, and the sun was just beginning to set in the sky. You were thankful you wouldn't have to walk in the dark. You knew there were plenty of shinobi around, hell, you were even meeting one right now. But even then you felt uncomfortable walking home alone at night, surrounded by darkness.

It was a shorter walk than you anticipated, and before you knew it you were at his place. Taking a deep breath, you reached up to knock on his door. It seemed like a nice enough part of town, and his place itself was well-kept especially considering how much time you were sure he spent on training.

You heard Guy's loud steps make their way to the doorway, pausing on the other side before the door swung open. His usual confident smile was on his face, but instead of moving his mouth into words he just looked at you. You felt yourself growing red under his gaze.

"Hello Guy," you said softly, looking up at him.

-

Guy had been making the same amount of preparations as you, if not even more. He planned the meal out carefully, even practicing it the night before to make sure it went well. He had spent more time than usual perfecting his hair, making sure not a single strand would be out of place. He had even thought of exactly what he wanted to say when he opened the door.

Hello Y/n, he would say as he smiled at you. You look more beautiful every time I see you.

Sure, it was more forward than he had been with you before. This was a date after all, and he wanted to make how he felt about you clear from the start.

That plan went right out the window when he saw you, your sundress captivating him. It looked so cute on you, and at the same time there was something about it that sent a wave of tingles between his legs. To put it simply, he was speechless.

He knew he should say something but he couldn't, enraptured by the way you looked in his doorway.

"Hello Guy," you said to him. That sweet voice of yours would drive him crazy someday, and he knew that. He loved hearing his name fall from your lips, hoping it would be far from the last time. Everything about you made him fall for you more.

Despite his thoughts about your voice, your words were enough to stir him to action himself.

"Hey," he said.

Really Guy? He thought to himself. You're the Blue Beast, a strong shinobi. And yet all you can say to a woman is 'hey'?

You giggled at him, and he felt a smile creep onto his face.

"It's good to see you again," he continued. He decided to dial back the forwardness, realizing he had already kept you waiting outside for too long in his daze. "Come on in."

-

You followed Guy into his home, taking in the delicious aroma filling the rooms.

"I don't know what you're making," you stated, "but it smells amazing."

Guy beamed with pride, ushering you over to the kitchen.

"It's my favorite." He told you. "A spicy, vegetable curry."

Thankfully, you didn't mind spicy. In fact, you enjoyed it. Your mouth watered, taking in the sight and smell of the food in front of you.

"Actually, it should be just about done." Said Guy, stirring it all for a final time before putting it onto beautiful dishes to serve.

He had already set the table, candles and all. He pulled the chair out for you, pushing you back in as if you weighed nothing. He sat across from you, and the way he smiled at you made you weak in the knees. It's a good thing you had already sat down.

You wasted no time, digging in. And it was delicious.

"Oh my god Guy," you said in near disbelief at how good it was. You could see his expression perk up. "This is amazing!"

"I'm glad you like it," he chuckles, eating his own.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch. You talked about your job and his, bonding over your love for your respective students.

"Maybe sometime I can come watch one of your training sessions," you mentioned. "I would love to see you teach them."

Guy smiled, "I would love that." The sincerity in his tone took you by surprise. While you knew he was never joking with you, there was always some sort of bravado to his speech that now was missing.

You helped him clean up despite his protests. You told him that if he cooked, you would at least clean up. It was only fair, after all. You scrubbed the dishes, oblivious to the way Guy was looking at you.

He never would have admitted it to anyone but himself, but he was falling in love with you. He had no problem picturing a life with you. Coming up to you at the end of the day, sharing a meal together. He wanted everything that life would bring him.

"Well," you said, finishing up, "I should probably get going."

"Let me walk you," insisted Guy. "A lady such as yourself should never walk alone at night."

He offered his arm to you, and you accepted it with a shy smile. You could feel his prominent muscles under the fabric of his outfit, and you could feel your face growing warmer. You were thankful for the darkness for obscuring your face from him, hoping he couldn't tell.

He could tell.

As the two of you made your way back towards your own apartment he would flex his muscles every so often, loving the way your face would flush. A couple of times he timed it right so that you were speaking, making you stutter.

The walk ended much earlier than either of you would have liked it to. Suddenly your heart started racing. You could answer your questions from earlier clearly.

Would he try to kiss you?

You sure hoped so.

Would you want him to?

Definitely.

You paused in your doorway, letting go of Guy's arm. You looked up at him, flashing him a genuine smile.

"I had fun tonight."

He reciprocated your own expression with a smile of his own, "me too."

You both paused for what seemed like the longest second in the world. It was as if he was building up the courage to actually go through with what he wanted to. He cleared his throat.

"Y/n, may I kiss you?"

You nodded your head and he lowered his lips to yours slowly. As you pressed your own lips to his you couldn't help the gasp that escaped them.

That's a sound I'll keep replaying... thought Guy.

He pulled away sooner than you would have liked, but he was a gentleman.

"I'll see you soon." Guy ended his sentence with a wink, sauntering off as you went to go inside.

"I can't wait."

[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 6: A Jedi

Warnings: traumaaaa, lots of anxiety, like lots of anxiety, the reader really hates herself in this one, minor minor violence, references to violence, mostly just anxiety and hate.

Author’s Note: This is where the series starts to pick up, so I executed it as best as I could! I also went a little off canon with this one, so I hope it makes sense with the story. Thank you for any support!

Your journey to Sorgan was pretty smooth… but Mando was tense.

You tried your best to reassure him multiple times that this was the best choice for the kid and that you could help him with any challenge thrown at him, but he would just respond with a sigh and a solemn nod. So, you decided not to push it.

He had done even riskier missions on his own, so he can handle this one.

Once you arrived, you walked into the common house and met a woman named Cara Dune.

She introduced herself to you and she seemed very friendly, but when Mando mentioned that she was an ex shock trooper for the Republic, that is when you tensed up.

You had done things in your past that you knew would offend her. Not even offend her, but provoke her to strangle you alive. The fact that she was from Alderaan made it obvious enough that the Empire had hurt her deeply.

The only way to protect yourself was to hide who you really were, and your heart sank.

You felt like you had finally broken away from that way of life. The hiding, the anxiety, the fear. You felt like you could be yourself with Mando and the kid and not have to worry about that anymore. But the galaxy was cruel like that.

After the brief introduction, Mando proceeded to outline the plan and everything that the man on the recording (who you later found out to go by the name Greef Karga) had said, and Cara looked far from impressed.

“I don’t know, I’ve been advised to lay low,” she said, “If anyone identifies me, I’ll rot in a cell for the rest of my life.”

That makes two of us, you think.

“I thought you were a veteran,” Mando mumbled.

“I’ve been a lot of things,” Cara replied. “If I so much as book a passage on a ship registered to the New Republic-”

“I have a ship,” Mando replied, “I can bring you there and back with a handsome reward. You can live free of worry.”

“I’m already free of worry,” she said, “and I’m not in the mood to play soldier anymore. Especially fighting a local warlord.”

“He’s not a local warlord,” Mando replied, “He’s Imperial.”

You could see how Cara visibly tensed up at the word “Imperial.” If you weren’t scared of her before, you sure as hell were now.

“I’m in,” she responded, and you smiled at her.

She grinned back to you and asked, “Where do you fit in in this plan?”

You looked at the child in your arms and said, “My job is to keep the child safe. So I will protect him until he is used as the bait, and I will adapt to where he goes from there.”

“She can defend herself plenty,” Mando says, and Cara nods at you.

“I believe you,” she says, and you give her another smile.

I really hope I don’t let her down, you think.

~~*~~

Within the next hour, the four of you had arrived back at the Razor Crest.

Mando started the ship on track to Nevarro while Cara took a look at the weapon arsenal.

You watched as her eyes scanned over the array of options, and you couldn’t help but feel deep sorrow for her.

Her life was torn apart by the Empire, and now she was getting thrown right back into a fight. The fact that she wasn’t even going to join the mission before Mando mentioned that the client was Imperial made you nervous. She was not a woman you wanted to mess with, so you hoped and prayed you would stay on her good side.

The kid had somehow managed to make it to the controls and grab hold of the throttle, which made the ship veer abruptly side to side.

You ran to the child and lifted him away from the throttle while Mando stabilized the ship.

“Are you sure one set of hands is enough to watch that little beast? Worst case scenario, we made need y/n to fight with us. Maybe an extra set of hands could help,” Cara said, trying to catch her breath from running all around the ship.

Mando looked back at you and you nodded.

“She’s right. I can watch the kid as long as you need, but if you guys need me in a fight I can’t keep him with me. He could get hurt.”

Mando nodded and sat back down in the pilot’s chair.

“Looks like we are making a pit stop,” he said.

~~*~~

The Razor Crest landed on the property of a man named Kuiil. Mando said that he had helped him greatly in the past and he trusted him, and if Mando trusted somebody, you did too.

He greeted you with open arms and was incredibly nice. He led the four of you inside his humble home, and you never realized how long it had been since you stayed in an actual home.

Kuiil studied the child in your arms and said, “it hasn’t grown much.”

“What is your name,” he asked you.

“I am y/n. It is nice to meet you Kuiil,” you said and he nodded reverently to you.

“What about this one? Does she have a name,” he said, gesturing to Cara.

“This is Cara. She was a shock trooper,” Mando said.

“You were a dropper,” Kuiil said, and Cara nodded.

“Did you serve,” she asked.

“On the other side, I’m afraid. But I’m proud to say that I paid out my clan’s debt, and now I serve no one but myself,” Kuiil said.

The other side, you think. Kuiil served the Empire? And Mando had worked with him before?

You couldn’t deny the fact that this got your hopes up. Mando… working with the enemy.

If only he knew, you thought.

All of a sudden, the door behind Kuiil opened, and an IG droid stepped inside with a tray in his hands.

Mando immediately sprang to his feet and pointed his blaster at the droid. Cara joined him, and you blocked the pram the child was in with your whole body.

“Would anyone care for some tea,” the droid asked, and your eyebrows knit in confusion.

Weren’t these droids normally hunters?

“Please, lower your blasters. He will not harm you,” Kuiil said, obviously trying to diffuse the situation.

Mando, however, didn’t seem to want to go that route.

He kept his blaster pointed directly at the droid’s head and said, “That thing is programmed to kill the baby.”

You straightened your back at his words, blocking as much of the pram as you could, until Kuiil shook his head and said, “Not anymore.”

He then explained how he found the droid at a battle site and brought it back to his workshop. He decided to repair it, and then spent many days teaching the droid everything from scratch. It developed a personality, Kuiil mentioned, and it’s experiences helped the personality become unique to the droid.

“Is it still a hunter,” Mando asked.

“No, but it will protect,” he said, and Mando finally lowered his blaster.

There was no way Mando was going to let that robot anywhere near the child.

~~*~~

Later that night, you and Cara were sitting in Kuiil’s house while Mando was outside speaking with him, no doubt trying to convince him to protect the child.

“So what’s your story,” Cara asked, taking a sip of tea.

“Oh.. well… Mando picked me up on Tattooine. I worked there as a mechanic for a woman named Peli. It was a good job, but I wanted to get off that planet. I had lived there for a long time, and I wanted to explore the galaxy for once. It sounds cheesy, but I’ve always wanted to do that at some point. Mando agreed to take me with him on his missions in exchange for the child’s safety,” you say, and Cara nods.

“Nice. You made a living for yourself, and were brave enough to walk away when you knew the time was right. Most people never leave their home planet,” she says, and you nod.

“Yeah… I tried my best,” you say, and you try not to let your eyes darken. You didn’t like talking about your past. All it did was stir up old memories that you had worked to push down for years. You hated your past, and you didn’t know how well you could hide it much longer. Especially when you were being questioned by someone like Cara.

“The Empire… hurt me a lot. So, I am excited to hurt it back,” you say, and a big grin shows on Cara’s face.

She takes another sip of her tea, and looks up to find Mando walking through the door.

“Any luck,” she says to him, and he shakes his head no.

“Kuiil said that the droid can protect the child, but I don’t trust it,” he says and Cara chuckles.

“Yeah.. I think we got that,” Cara says and you smile.

Mando goes to sit down next to Cara, so she scoots over a bit to make some room for him.

You heard something hit the floor, and you realize Cara had knocked over your bag on accident. You had brought it into Kuiil’s house because you used it to store snacks for the child.

You stored other things in there too, and under no circumstance was anyone allowed to see them.

That was going pretty well, until Cara knocked the entire thing over.

“Whoops. Sorry,” she says and goes to start putting the items back in.

Your body is frozen in place and you feel like your lungs are being squeezed. Your limbs have turned to putty, and you cannot take your eyes off her hands.

If she sees it, I and dead. I am so dead

“It’s- It’s ok Cara. I’ve got it,” you say and start to stand up.

“No no it’s ok, I can-” she says, before her eyes widen.

She picks up an item and starts raising it to eye level, and you are just about ready to vomit.

Your saber.

You feel like your entire body is crumbling before her and she can’t even tell. Your breathing has become almost erratic and the sweat on your forehead starts to drip down to your eyes.

This whole experience, this whole journey with Mando and the kid could be completely undone right now. Everything you have hidden, everything you’ve buried, and everything you hoped you left behind on sandy Tattooine is staring you right in the face.

And Cara is….smiling?

“No way,” she yells excitedly, before laughing and smiling at you. 

“No wonder you were so secretive about your past! You’re a Jedi,” she says.

You take a glance at Mando, who is staring at the saber, looking confused as ever.

Ok, maybe this is good, you think to yourself, trying to relax.

I can pretend I was a Jedi. Sure. I have basically the same training as them.

But who were you kidding. You knew that wasn’t going to cut it.

“A Jedi?” Mando says, and Cara goes into a whole tangent about how amazing the Jedi were. How they fought the Empire till their dying breaths and defended the galaxy. They had been betrayed by their own clone groups, and most of them died in Order 66.

“But you didn’t!” she said and smiled at you.

You managed a smile back, but you had to have looked like a psycho. You were in so much physical and emotional pain from the amount of anxiety flowing through you. You had felt out of control before, but this was more dangerous than you knew.

You were such an idiot getting your hopes up. Thinking that a Mandalorian actually cared for someone like you. How could you have been so stupid.

“Even the colors of the sabers are legendary,” Cara said. “Aren’t they y/n?”

You nod back, but you know what’s coming.

Your truth was about to shine throughout the entire house, reflecting back at you like some sick joke. And you were screwed. You were so screwed.

“Well, let’s see it then,” Cara said and ignited the saber with both hands wrapped around the handle.

“Wait” you scream, but it was too late.

The tears hit your eyes before she even ignited the weapon.

The deep, burning red saber was ignited, and there was no going back.

It’s burning, fire like glow illuminated Cara’s face, and a sunset like tint was shining on Mando’s armor.

He always looked so beautiful when light would reflect off of him, but not like this.

The red from the saber was vibrant, but you had never seen a glow as red as the anger in Cara’s eyes.

She knew what this color meant, and your identity was revealed in all its glory.

A Sith

Tag list:

@leahkenobi @pinkninja200 @bookloverfilmoholic @farfromjustordinary

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Wounded Love Pt. 2 (Lady Dimitrescu/F!Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T? Maybe? Almost the exact opposite of the first one. Language, minor violence Genre: Fluff, mainly, with admittedly a little bit of humor? I blame my lack of sleep. And my adhd. Warnings: Implied cannibalism adjacent activities because guess what honey, this is a fucked up family, what do you expect of me??? Sure, they have breakfast in this, there's cute stuff, but c'mon, they don't eat flowers and oatmeal! Notes: Doubt it needs to be said, but this is a sequel to the good ending of part one. Also Cass has one line in this that might be OOC, or seem oddly placed, but admittedly this chapter is also loosely based on a dream I had, and I couldn't not include the few direct quotations I remembered, and she seemed the most likely to say the line. And yes, there will be a part 3, because I am weak and also kind of maybe made this one less plot-moving than intended.

{Wounded Love: The re-woundening}

Every step ached more than the last, even with Alcina supporting you. She had wanted to carry you down the stairs, of course, but you had insisted that you would be fine. Now you were just determined not to complain out loud. One yelp or cry and you’d be scooped up in her arms, surely to be carried for the rest of the day. As much as you appreciated your girlfriend’s assistance, you hated feeling useless, and hated putting a burden on others. So here you were, one arm wrapped around Alcina’s waist, limping ever-so-slowly towards the dining room.

Further ahead (unburdened by your injury) the three Dimitrescu daughters talk among themselves, voices hushed as they too headed for breakfast. It was odd to see them all awake, and socializing, as there was usually at least one who came to meals late. You couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with your condition… or the circumstances that had caused it.

Less than eighteen hours had passed since your fight with a stray lycan, and tension had been high since. While you hadn’t yet spoken to the sisters, you had spoken to Alcina, who had briefly mentioned their concern for you. Whether they actually cared about you as a person or just cared because you are dating their mother is unclear. Based on how they had acted while treating your wounds, though, you were inclined to think that they were fond of you. And seeing as Alcina had already vowed to get revenge on your behalf… well, you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that her daughters intended to assist.

“Careful on the last step, dear,” Alcina says, positioned as to catch you if you fell. It takes a little willpower to resist the urge to hop down the rest of the way. As long as you landed on your uninjured leg, it wouldn’t even be that bad. Still, irritating your girlfriend first thing in the morning felt like a pretty stupid thing to do. Instead you just nodded, slowing down even more, and took visible care not to trip. “Good girl.”

Well, you certainly couldn’t say that being careful didn’t have its rewards.

“I have my moments,” you replied, blush rising to your cheeks. Suddenly your pain didn’t feel so bad (at least until you took another step and winced). “Damn, who woulda thought that cutting a chunk out of my leg would make it hurt more?” The leg in question throbbed in pain, as if to prove your point, protesting the weight you put on it. Changing the angle at which you stood helped some, allowing the lower half of the limb to bear more of the burden.

“Dearest…” Alcina starts to say, looking like she was going to readdress her desire to carry you. For a moment you try to avoid her gaze, but she moves in front of you, making sure that you could still hold onto her for support. “I know how you feel, how you want, desperately, to be independent. When I was first… granted this gift, it took a long time to adjust. There was so much I had to relearn how to do, so much that I suddenly needed done for me.” A pause, a deep breath. At last you look up at your girlfriend, warmth in your heart, reaching out to hold her hand. “You have time, my dear, and plenty of it. More than that… this will not last forever. The more you push yourself, the longer your recovery will take. Now, please, allow me to assist. You have already proven how strong you are.”

“Oh, you drive a hard bargain… but if you insist, who am I to decline? Or, well, who am I to decline twice in a row?” You answer, somewhat begrudgingly. It wasn’t much farther to the dining room, you figured, so it wouldn’t be much of a loss to accept help. Or at least that was what you told yourself. Even with Alcina’s encouragement it was so hard for you to accept her help. After all, you were the one that worked for her. Never mind the fact that she was somewhat responsible for your injury- really, you were actively avoiding thinking about that.

It’s much easier to forget once Alcina carefully picks you up. One arm goes under your legs, the other under your chest, lifting you without any effort. You might as well have been a kitten or a child’s toy. The movement does, however, shift your injured leg in such a way that it aches. At this point you can hardly move the limb at all without it hurting, and even the slightest friction against the bandage makes your eyes water.

Apparently someone would be delivering some painkillers later in the day. You assumed it would be The Duke (whose name is apparently not Doug, as you had thought), seeing as he knew some special way to get to and fro without risking the same fate that had befallen you. Which, of course, made you feel a lot better. Getting someone else hurt would weigh on your mind forever.

Regardless, you were safe now, as was your strange, bloody little family. Before long you would even be enjoying a pleasant meal together. Certainly that would help get your mind off of your wound? For now, though, you were met with an unexpected impasse. The sort of impasse that really, really should have been expected.

“Why… is the doorway… so small?” You asked, jokingly, as you stare into the mildly embarrassed face of your girlfriend. It’s already hard enough for her to crouch through the gap normally. When she’s carrying you? Impossible. “Can we ask Mother Miranda for bigger doors? She gave you eternal life and also three kids, she’s gotta be capable of making bigger doors. Put me down, I’ll go call her and-”

“That won’t be necessary, dear,” Alcina cuts you off, not fully appreciating this part of your humor. Or maybe she had already asked for bigger doors, only to be told no?... Okay, yeah, it was probably the first option. With a sigh she sets you down, as gently as she can manage. Ready and raring to go, you start to hobble forward, only to find all three of the daughters waiting for you, just beyond the door. They’re grinning as they watch you, and Bela extended her arm to offer her help. “What appears to be the matter?” Alcina asks from behind you. Accepting your fate and Bela’s arm, you let the sisters guide you to the table, Cassandra holding your other side, and Daniela pulls your chair out for you. Honestly it’s pretty adorable. Evidently your girlfriend agrees, from the way she smiles as she follows.

“Thank you,” you say, more out of reflex than genuine gratitude. Again, you weren’t thrilled about needing this assistance. If the girls notice they’re at least polite enough not to mention it. They simply move to their own seats at the large table, eager to dig in. It feels… strange, to be here, on this side of things. Stranger still to realize you’re the only one intending to eat actual food. There’s wine in your glass, but it’s a much fainter red than those you’ve previously served to your girlfriend. Thank goodness, you think, after how raw my throat was yesterday, I really don’t need to taste any more blood.

Once Lady Dimitrescu sits down, the meal formally begins, with several maidens appearing from the kitchen. Several seem relieved to see you, although surprised, and one even gave you a brief smile. The smile did not last, however. It wasn’t unexpected, considering the nature of her job, the pressures that it put upon her. No one smiled at mealtimes. Well, no maidens, that is. They simply moved around, wordlessly, faces blank, doing exactly as instructed. Only a few days ago you had been among them, fear keeping you in line. Was it wrong of you to care for Alcina, knowing what she was capable of doing to others? Knowing what she might have, in another life, done to you?

A maiden places a plate of warm food, as well as a bowl of fresh fruit, in front of you. For a moment your eyes meet, but she looks away instinctively. Your heart threatens to break.

“This looks wonderful, thank you for your hard work, all of you,” you speak up, glancing at each of the women working so hard. There’s more you want to say that dries in your throat; you are valued, you are deserving, someday I will join your ranks again.

“You don’t need to thank them, they’re just doing their jobs,” Cassandra chimes from the other side of the table. Hearing her say that damn near makes you drop your fork. It’s not an uncommon settlement, particularly among older generations and the rich, but one that irks you nonetheless.

“They’re doing my job. They are taking on extra work, for no pay, because I am injured. Why would I be so cruel as to ignore them? Have I not toiled alongside them enough to call them my kin?” You ask, struggling to keep your voice even. Next to you Alcina is slowly cutting into her meat, watching the scene unfold out of the corner of her eyes, perhaps considering when to step in. On the other end of the table, Bela looks increasingly uncomfortable, as if silently willing her sister into silence. None of the maidens have reacted to what you said, likely too afraid of Cassandra to even consider speaking.

“Ooooh, this is much more fun than our usual breakfasts,” Daniela says, stifling a giggle. “Do you have any other thoughts you’d like to share? Preferably ones that aren’t about me.” At this, Alcina sets her utensils down, clearly intending to put an end to the discussion. Unfortunately for her, you were a bit… impulsive, especially considering the previous night’s activities had left your mind struggling to cope.

“Dead lycans smell terrible. Literally the worst thing I’ve ever smelled, easily, no question about it,” you answer, shrugging a little as you do. It’s such a simple thought that you almost don’t realize how the others at the table react. Until the clatter of silverware on the table catches your attention, that is. All three sisters are eying you with different expressions (Bela is confused, Cass is impressed, and Daniela looks shocked). But it’s Alcina’s wide-eyed stare that gets you to elaborate. “Should I have said ‘a dead lycan’? I only got one, so I guess I shouldn’t say they all smell bad. C’mon, though, they have to all smell bad, right?”

Suddenly Daniela shifts from shock to pure amusement, a fit of giggles overtaking her. You’re still confused, not sure what the matter was, so you just sip your wine and hope someone asks the right questions.

“You… killed the lycan that attacked you?” Bela finally says, after a few moments of her sister laughing, expression still incredulous. When you nod she sort of shakes her head, trying to clear her thoughts. “May I ask how you managed that?”

“Oh, you know, I just meh meh-” you mime a stabbing motion with your fork- “until the stupid thing stopped moving. I had to use a tree branch as a weapon, but then it broke after a few whacks, which actually helped because then I had two stabbing implements to, you know, stab with. That’s right around when it got my leg, and it tried to bite me. Thankfully it wasn’t very smart, so when it leapt at me I just hyah-” this time an upwards strike- “right into its neck. That didn’t kill it, but it was enough to slow it down, which allowed me to stab the other half of the branch into its skull. Made this horrible, horrible sound as it died. Seeing as we are eating, I will not imitate the sound. Not that I could, now that I think about it…”

Once again there’s silence. Even Daniela has quieted now, and is watching you with rapt interest, likely hoping that you’re hiding another story up your sleeves.

“So… did you guys actually think that I managed to run away from the lycan? Or were you under the impression that it simply got bored of me and left?” You ask, casually returning to your breakfast afterwards. No one says anything, at first, taking in your words as best as they can. A few moments later both Daniela and Bela resume their meal, as nonchalant as one could be in the current situation. Alcina, however, rests a gentle hand on your shoulder, meeting your gaze with a loving look.

“You will never cease to amaze me, my dear. But let us ensure you never have to… smell, or see, one of those wretched things again, yes?” She says, softly squeezing you as she does. You can’t help but agree, and nod eagerly, mouth too full of hashbrowns to speak. Still, there’s been a shift in the atmosphere of the room. It’s not that the family didn’t respect you before, as far as you can tell, but they evidently hadn’t expected you to prove as capable as you had. It brings a sense of pride to the forefront of your mind, making you completely forget about your injury for the remainder of the meal.

Unable to stop yourself, you insist on helping the other maidens clean up, and Alcina eventually agrees to let you wash a few dishes- as long as you stay sitting the entire time. The last thing you hear before you shuffle off to the kitchen is the start of a conversation between Cassandra and her mother.

“You picked quite a feisty one, didn’t you?”

“That I did, that I did…”

[bbangsoonie]

creker academy

member: eric genre: fluff (ft some angst), fantasy au word count: 6,182 synopsis: after finally triggering your hidden powers, fate lands you at creker academy, a special boarding school meant for shapeshifters. there, you learn how to control your abilities and that opposites do indeed attract.

The day you found out that you were adopted was the day your life fell apart. The secret was hidden from you until your uncle coldly drew the line at your parents’ funeral. He told you that he had no intention of taking responsibility for his brother’s actions and that you were no longer a part of the family.

That was how you ended up living alone in a tiny half-basement studio. You barely managed to afford the deposit and rent with the consolation money you received from the funeral.

Every day, Hyunjoon would come knocking at your door and every day, you would turn him away. It had only been a month since you became independent and the scar of losing your parents was still fresh. You were also too ashamed to face your friends. You didn’t want their pity and so you hid away in isolation.

On the night of your birthday, the pain became too unbearable. Although you aged another year, you were still only a teenager. Granted, you were in your last year of high school but you were still a minor. Having to fend for yourself in this harsh world was too much for you to handle.

As you cried yourself to sleep, you could feel a cold coming. The heat from your headache spread to the rest of your body and you felt yourself burning up.

After you bought some medicine from the pharmacy, you slipped into a deep slumber. Your dreams were wildly vivid. You dreamt of an enchanted forest that enticed you to take refuge in its comfort. There, animals of all species ran free and in harmony. It promised you acceptance and a home.

“It’s time you learn of your identity,” a soft voice spoke.

As soon as the whisper tickled your ears, the entire forest was up in flames. Strangely, you weren’t struck with fear. Rather, you felt empowered.

“Y/n, you need to learn how to control yourself,” the voice warned.

It was only then that you started to panic. The flames were engulfing everything in sight and all the animals were running for their lives.

“Y/n, you have to wake up. Now,” the voice commanded.

With that, your eyes shot open. To your horror, the scene in your dreams reflected the view in front of you. Your house was on fire and you were slowly getting cornered by the heat. Frightened, you look to the door only to see it consumed by the blaze.

“Trust your instincts, Y/n,” the voice in your head cooed. “Let your body take control.”

Bewildered, you had no idea what that meant. All you knew was that you had to get out of there. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to think of a solution. When you reopened them, the room seemed to be a lot bigger than normal. At that moment, you saw the window cracked open. It was your only hope.

Your body felt different when you stood up.

“Why am I so short all of a sudden?” you wondered.

You looked down and almost screamed when you saw paws instead of your feet. Except a meow came out of your throat instead.

You didn’t have time to freak out about it. Feeling something hot graze your tail, you jumped up and landed on the window sill. Your innate desire for survival kicked in and you squeezed through the opening to escape.

Once you felt fresh air in your lungs again, you ran. And ran. And ran. You didn’t know why or where you were going, but something in you told you to run. Your legs kept sprinting until they reached the forest that appeared in your dream. They came to a slow stop when you realized where you were.

“What is this place?” you pondered.

“This is the border between our world and the human world,” a woman in white suddenly emerged from the trees. “You are now about to cross into our territory.”

It was the same voice from your dream. Trying to grasp the situation, you opened your mouth to ask a million questions. But again, a meow replaced your voice.

“It’ll be easier for you to transition back once you're on our grounds,” she assured. She bent down and gestured for you to jump into her arms.

Not seeing any other option, you hesitantly took her offer. With you safely in her embrace, she passed through a translucent wall that revealed what looked like a huge campus. Your jaw dropped as you observed your surroundings. There were students walking around the magical place. You saw a girl tending the garden and gasped when her hands hovered above the flowers to revive them.

The woman brought you to an office you presumed to be hers and placed you in front of a mirror. Your shriek came out as a cute yelp and she chuckled.

“I-I’m a cat!” you thought.

“There’s an outfit you can change into once you return to your human form,” she pointed at the black dress neatly prepared on the table.

The second she finished her sentence, you felt a bare sensation. Looking down, you screeched at your naked body. Embarrassed and horrified, you quickly clothed yourself with the dress.

“W-What’s going on?” you asked, relieved to finally hear your own voice again.

“I’m sure you felt different from others your whole life?” she asked. It sounded more like a statement rather than a question.

She wasn’t wrong. All your life, you never felt like you fitted in anywhere. Maybe your body knew you were adopted before your mind did and ostracized itself. Or maybe you truly were different. You had weird talents that other kids thought were freaky, making you hide them and become introverted. For instance, you were suspiciously good at starting fires from scratch at summer camp and didn’t feel any pain when your shirt accidentally caught on fire.

“I know this must be shocking to you but you’re special, Y/n. We’ve been waiting for you. Waiting for you to trigger your powers to bring you here,” she smiled.

“My what?” you gaped.

“Your powers. What you just did back at your old house and right now. You’re a shapeshifter, Y/n. A shapeshifter with the element of fire,” she explained.

“I’m a what now?” you scoffed in disbelief.

“Creker Academy is a school and home for students just like you. It’s a place meant to train you how to control your powers. Without our guidance, you’ll lead down a path of self-destruction.”

Baffled by her words, you stared in silence. There was no way any of this was true. Surely this had to be a dream.

“This isn’t a prank or a dream, Y/n. You’ve finally found where you belong,” she clarified.

Belong. You had never felt like you really belonged anywhere. But now, someone was telling you that you belonged with them. That they wanted you there. That they had been waiting for you.

“I understand you must feel overwhelmed. But there are procedures to follow so I’m afraid you will have to begin your tour first. A fellow student will be arriving soon to show you around.”

As if on cue, a boy around your age knocked on the door and came in after receiving the woman’s permission to enter.

“Hello, Headmaster,” he bowed.

“Eric, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is Eric. He will be helping you adjust here,” she introduced.

Eric was bright eyed and eager to meet a new friend. You, on the other hand, were quite reserved and uncomfortable in your new environment.

He was excitedly pointing out the purpose of each room you passed by and rambled on about the social norms of the boarding school. You learned that on top of academics, there were classes on virtues and physical training. And of course, classes that taught you how to properly use and contain your powers.

The use of magic was strictly prohibited inside any and all buildings. Students could practice their skills outside but were forbidden from any acts that could potentially put someone or something at risk. That was the one rule that was rigidly enforced and obeyed.

“So what animal and element are you?” he curiously pried. “I’m a dog with the element of water.”

“I’m… apparently a cat,” you felt ridiculous saying it aloud. “And control fire.”

“Ah, you’re a member of the fire element,” he nodded. “What that means is that your element rivals with mine. Some people see fire elements as hotheaded, impulsive, and extreme. Water elements are sometimes emotional, sensitive, and antisocial. But those are all just stereotypes, of course. Not everyone fits into the standard. I, for one, am very outgoing. And your animal obviously plays a role in your personality. I guess the dog in me overpowers the water.”

You had moved on from the indoor portion of the tour to the outside part. He was showing you the garden you had passed by earlier. It was full of flowers that wouldn’t be in bloom this season in the normal world.

“I’m a strong believer in that there are good traits about each element. For example, fire elements are passionate, inspirational, and expressive. They’re arguably the most fun people you’ll ever meet. Water elements are empathetic, imaginative, and loving. But again, all this is relative and doesn’t accurately describe each person,” he reminded. “The only reason there’s still a stupid feud is because some people love sticking to the status quo and labeling others.”

“What are the other elements? Air and earth?”

“Yup! Air elements are independent, talkative, fickle, and nonconformists. Most likely social butterflies. Earth elements are disciplined, loyal, organized, and judgemental. Oftentimes the leader.”

Eric greeted a male student who was passing by with two other boys. He exchanged smiles with the three of them who offered you a kind nod of acknowledgement.

“That was Sangyeon. He’s a bear. On his left is Jacob, a rabbit. The one on the right is Younghoon, who’s also a dog like me. They’re all earth elements,” he disclosed. “Sangyeon is the class representative of our grade. Definitely fits the leader stereotype.”

You couldn’t get over how thrilled he was to be your tour guide. He was filling you in on even the little details of the social life at the academy. He told you about how transfer students were rare and that it was his first time seeing a new student.

His vibrancy contrasted your somber aura. If he noticed, he didn’t comment on it. He was having too much fun getting to know you.

“Oh! That’s Hyunjae and Juyeon,” Eric suddenly pointed at a pair of boys on a morning run. He waved at the two who waved back before speeding up.

“The one with brown hair is Hyunjae, a wolf and fire element. His real name is Jaehyun but he changed it to Hyunjae once he got to Creker Academy. Juyeon’s the one with black hair and is a cat like you. Except he’s a water element like me,” he grinned. “They’re my best friends. Oh, and this guy named Sunwoo who’s a raccoon with the element of fire. As you can see, water and fire elements can get along fine and well. So don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise.”

By the time he was done showing you around, a bell rang and students began to convene inside. Eric explained that the bell was signaling the beginning of classes and brought you to his homeroom.

“Breakfast is buffet style and self served. It’s up to you to wake up and come down to eat. The cafeteria remains open for an hour until that bell rings and we have to get to class,” he said you entered.

Looking around for an empty seat, his face lit up when he spotted one. He sat at his desk and tapped on the one behind him to let you know that it was yours to take.

You still hadn’t processed all that’s happened since dawn. Everything felt like a haze. Nevertheless, you found yourself paying attention when the teacher walked in. He scanned the room to find a new face and smiled when he made eye contact with you.

“Alright, guys. I’m happy to announce that we have a new student that will be joining us starting today,” he beckoned for you to come up to the front of the classroom.

You wanted to shrivel up and crawl into a hole. Feeling your classmates gazes on you, you gulped and began to sweat. You were never a fan of attention. You quickly introduced yourself before rushing back to your seat, eliciting giggles from a few students. Your cheeks heated up and you felt that burning tingle again.

The awkwardness made you transform back into a cat, making your classmates gasp. Their intensified stares made the tips of your fur ignite, alarming the teacher who tried to calm you down.

“Well I guess she’s a fire cat,” a girl snickered.

Eric shot her a glare before leaning in to ask if you wanted him to put the fire out with his water. Not knowing what else to do, you nodded and the next thing you knew, you were drenched.

So much for your first day.

You ran out of the room before you could change back into a human. You fled but didn’t know where to go. You grew anxious, desperately hoping you wouldn’t end up flashing anyone.

“Hey!” someone called out. You turned around to see a male approaching you. Panicking, you dove into a bush.

“You’re the newbie, right?” he asked, taking something out of his bag. He dug out a large t-shirt and a pair of shorts and placed them in front of you. “I usually carry around a spare outfit in case of emergencies. I hope you don’t mind the fit.”

You were still in your animal form so you peaked your head out to look at him.

“My name’s Chanhee. Air element penguin,” he squatted down to meet your eyes. “Everyone’s first day is rough. You’re not the only one who’s had incidents like this so try not to feel so bad about it.”

He stood to go back to class, leaving you to change in privacy once you returned to your normal body. Your hair was still wet as you dragged yourself back to the headmaster’s office.

The headmaster looked at you with pity when you walked in looking worn out. You didn’t have to tell her for her to know what happened.

“How about I show you to your dorm?” she warmly suggested. Anything was better than returning to the classroom.

Due to your late enrollment, you were assigned a single room as opposed to the traditional double rooms. You were glad you didn’t have to go through the process of meeting and getting used to a roommate. It was a small but cozy space and the closet was filled with clothes.

You realized all of your belongings were probably burned down in your old home. Now you really didn’t have anything to go back to.

Before the headmaster left to allow you to settle in, she insisted that you join your classmates for lunch later. You wanted to say that you just wanted to stay in your room but her stern look had you close your mouth.

So you begrudgingly made your way to the cafeteria and gawked at the amount of students packed inside. Feeling them stare at you, you tried to ignore their whispers as you grabbed a tray of food. To your relief, you saw Eric motioning you over and went to go sit down next to him.

His group of friends was fairly large. You saw the boys he had named earlier that day and were surprised to see Chanhee again.

“Hi! I’m Changmin,” one enthusiastically waved. “I’m an air squirrel.”

“Haknyeon, air pig,” another raised his hand.

“My animal is a hamster and my element is water. You can call me Kevin,” the last one smiled.

After shyly exchanging greetings with everyone, you poked at the rice on your plate. The food was undeniably better than the food served at your old school. However, thinking about your old school made your stomach drop as you thought of the friends you left behind. You were sure Hyunjoon was worried sick about you.

“Do you hate water? And have you always hated water? I would assume you don’t like it very much as a cat and fire element,” Changmin looked at you with sparkling eyes that displayed his curiosity.

“Yeah I actually never learned how to swim. I guess that explains why. I never had a reason when my friends asked me about it,” you mused. In hindsight, your unreasonable hatred and fear of water made sense.

“Interesting, interesting,” he nodded.

Like that, the next couple of months flew by. You were put on an intensive program to catch up with your peers and received one-on-one tutoring to help you learn how to shapeshift at will. You could now easily turn into a cat but still had trouble returning to your human form.

To your dismay, you were denied communication with the outside world. The headmaster was very much against risking having the academy and everyone’s identities exposed. Which meant that you weren’t allowed to contact anyone from your previous life.

One good thing was that you were no longer the hot topic of the school. People’s interest in you died down when you didn’t reciprocate theirs.

You grew close to Eric and his group of friends. They were an interesting bunch. Each of them were uniquely chaotic.

Eric was the exact opposite of you. Literally. As a water element dog, his personality contrasted your fiery cat. Everything from your food tastes to fashion style were different. Yet, you felt the most comfortable with him. He brought light into your life and made adjusting to your new school easier.

You were also always at odds with Juyeon. Although you were both cats, he was everything you weren’t. He was sweet but you just didn’t match on so many things. This meant for a very awkward but pleasant friendship.

You got along best with Chanhee. His air side complemented your fire and he quickly became your closest friend. He was both sassy and caring and you appreciated his endless concern and support for you.

Changmin was a wild card. He and Sunwoo wrecked havoc everywhere they went as Younghoon and Haknyeon incited them while Kevin and Jacob were trying their best to prevent them from destroying the campus. Sangyeon and Hyunjae, who were usually busy with student council matters, were the only ones who could calm everyone down but sometimes chose to enjoy the mayhem.

“Did you guys hear the rumors?” Sunwoo bursted through the classroom door panting. “The headmaster is considering an overnight field trip for the seniors!”

Jaws dropped and gasps spread throughout the students. The room was immediately in a buzz as everyone was shocked and excited at the possibility of leaving the sealed territory. It had been 5 years since students were allowed a trip in the outside world.

The homeroom teacher came in and hushed everyone to quiet down. He couldn’t hide the smile that forced its way onto his face after seeing how happy his students looked.

“Is it true we might get a senior trip?” Haknyeon impatiently asked.

“I cannot comment on that. An official announcement will be made later today,” the teacher said.

“That’s not a no!” Younghoon squealed.

True to his words, the headmaster’s voice was heard over the PA system before the dismissal bell. She congratulated the seniors on their hard work and announced that they would be given the opportunity to sign up to spend 3 days and 2 nights on a cruise.

The entire floor of students erupted into cheers and you heard footsteps run across as they barged into classrooms to find their friends and rejoice together. Changmin came into your classroom dragging Kevin and Juyeon behind him.

“Guys, I can’t believe it! It’s been forever since I last saw humans,” Changmin gushed.

“The whole point of us going on a private boat is to ensure that we don’t have any run-ins with humans,” Kevin reminded.

“Yeah but I’m sure we’d pass by them on our way there,” Changmin rolled his eyes.

Sangyeon, Hyunjae, and Jacob strolled in, greeting your group of friends with a nod of acknowledgment. They waited as the rest of you gathered your stuff to leave together.

“Everyone’s going, right? Y/n, you too?” Eric asked.

“Umm,” you hesitated as you looked at their expectant eyes. “I honestly don’t know if it’d be a good idea… I’m still not in complete control over my powers.”

“Aw but Y/n! You can’t miss out on this once in a lifetime trip with all of us!” Sunwoo whined.

“Yeah, it’ll be your last time leaving campus before graduating! Plus, it’ll be your first and last major bonding experience with our class,” Younghoon pouted.

“I know how hard fire can be to control. If you want, I can stay with you and try to help you detect signs of distress before it manifests itself,” Hyunjae offered.

“And I‘ll be next to you to put out any accidents!” Eric beamed.

“You know I always have extra clothes in my bag,” Chanhee added.

You couldn’t say no to the 11 pairs of pleading eyes. They all so desperately wanted you to go with them that it warmed your heart. It hadn’t even been long since you first met them but they always treated you like you were with them from the start.

So you added your name to the list of students and that was how you ended up dragging your suitcase to the giant cruise ship. Haknyeon was bouncing in excitement next to you as the throng of high schoolers slowly made their way inside.

Room assignments were the same as back at the academy, which meant that you were in a single by yourself again. Changmin expressed his envy as Chanhee happily pulled him into their shared room.

Once you were unpacked, you headed to the deck and admired the seascape. The ship was already sailing into the vast ocean and the endless horizon felt so freeing. Leaning on the handrails, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The salty smell brought back memories of visiting the beach with your parents.

You felt someone join you but didn’t open your eyes. You could tell by their footsteps that it was Eric.

“Enjoying the change in environment?” he asked.

“Makes me a bit nostalgic,” you said as you opened your eyes.

The wind was strong and the waves were violently crashing into the sides of the boat. With the sun glistening in the water’s reflection, you squinted a bit to appreciate the scenery in front of you.

“Isn’t the view so pretty?” you sighed in content. You didn’t notice that he wasn’t looking at the sea. Instead, he was staring at you.

“Yeah. Extremely pretty,” he found himself saying with a soft smile.

To Eric’s slight annoyance, Sunwoo came and tactlessly interrupted the moment to tell you two to meet everyone else at the pool. He was raving about the jacuzzi next to it and eagerly tugged at Eric’s sleeve to hurry him up.

Younghoon was already shoving Hyunjae’s head underwater when you arrived. Jacob waved at you from the chaise lounge and you sat down next to him. Giggling, you watched Sangyeon climb on top of both of them as Juyeon egged him on. Changmin and Chanhee were relaxing in the jacuzzi while Kevin and Haknyeon were piling food on their plates at the snack bar.

Eric was thrown into the pool thanks to Sunwoo’s push and he emerged to the surface screaming and laughing. Using his powers to add more pressure, he splashed Sunwoo with water, who ran off shrieking.

“Do you not like the water as well?” you turned around to face Jacob.

“I don’t necessarily dislike it but I don’t really like it either,” he shrugged. “I don’t mind jumping in if the guys tell me to join.”

“Do you hate the water or are you afraid of it?” Haknyeon asked as he and Kevin took a seat next to you.

“I guess both?” you answered.

“You know, contrary to popular belief, I’m actually not that fond of large bodies of water either,” Kevin said as he offered Jacob a bite of his pizza. “Pretty weird for a water element, huh?”

“Hey, hey, we don’t stick to stereotypes. We are all individuals with personalities and preferences unique to our own character,” Jacob chided.

“Oh how I love confirmation biases,” Haknyeon joked.

You had to admit it was pretty interesting to see how each person matched and defied their element and animal characteristics. It was like taking a personality test and fervently agreeing with the parts that were true and blatantly ignoring the parts that weren’t.

The rest of the day was spent fooling around and playing games. There was never a dull moment with the boys. They were always in high spirits and full of energy.

Even at dinner, your table was the loudest one. Juyeon had been sneakily stealing a few bites of fish off of Haknyeon’s plate, who took great offense when he finally noticed. Meanwhile, Eric was bargaining with Younghoon for his chicken. At the mention of chicken, Hyunjae joined in on the negotiation of the last piece of meat.

So far, you haven't had a risky moment with either your element or animal. You were in complete control and didn’t need guidance—although Chanhee remained by your side just in case. When you made it back to your room to call it a night, you were relieved and proud that the trip was going smoothly without any hiccups.

Perhaps you spoke too early.

In one of the rooms down the hall, a girls’ night had turned awry. One of the girls, a water element, began crying and started a waterflow that got out of hand. The more she panicked and tried to stop it, the higher the water rose. It quickly seeped into the hallway and into other rooms.

With her friends screaming at her to make it stop, it only escalated with a loud whoosh as the door broke open from the pressure. Now in full panic mode, the girls shrieked and realized that the place was flooding from the inside out.

They trudged through the rising water to flee, banging on doors on their way out. Doors swung open as students woke up from the commotion.

By the time Juyeon finally managed to wake Eric up from his deep sleep, the water was nearly up to the bed. The roommates freaked out, wondering what the heck was going on. Juyeon quickly grabbed his bag and hurried Eric to leave.

On their way out, however, they saw that your door was still closed.

“Shit, Y/n can’t swim,” Eric gasped.

“The water’s not that deep yet. Let’s get her out while it’s still walkable,” Juyeon said as he threw his bag down and started walking towards your room.

Meanwhile, you were still sound asleep. You were startled awake by the pounding. When you registered the situation, the fear made you shift into a cat before you could get up and unlock the door. You anxiously glanced at the closed door as the water began to climb up your body.

Outside, Eric felt a pit form in his stomach. Getting worried, he decided to break your door open. With the help of Juyeon, he barely slammed the heavy wood down by mustering up all the strength he had.

“Y/n!” he yelled when he finally saw you.

You were struggling to keep your head above the water and it was getting harder by the second to not breathe in the liquid. He rushed to pick you up and kept you afloat even when he stumbled. The waves were now reaching his chest.

Juyeon transformed into his cat form to swim as Eric trekked through the hall. You were clinging onto him and Eric was holding onto you tightly as well. You could feel him pant and his heart beat fast. Tucked under his arm, you looked up to see beads of sweat falling from his forehead.

Your own heart skipped a beat at the sight. You could tell how much he cared for you. He made you feel wanted. Needed. Important.

You two were polar opposites but still complemented each other so well. He was the optimism you lacked and you were his rock. You kept him grounded and he made you laugh.

When you finally escaped to the deck, Juyeon stepped away to change back into a human and put on clothes. Your friends crowded around you, Younghoon drying you off with a towel and Chanhee placing a clean outfit next to you.

“Alright, everyone, settle down,” the headmaster called out, turning heads. “I’m glad you’re all safely out but it’ll take some time to drain the water. Please calmly stay in groups until we sort everything out.”

Thanks to your months of training, you were now able to sense when your transformation was about to occur. You grabbed the clothes with your mouth and ran off before you could flash anyone. You sheepishly returned wearing one of Chanhee’s pajama shirts and with water still dripping from your hair.

“Y/n!” Sunwoo dramatically whined, jumping you for a hug. Displeased, Eric peeled him off of you and handed you another towel.

“Thanks, Eric,” you smiled. “For… everything.”

“No problem,” he grinned as he ruffled your head.

“Thank God these two got you out safe and sound,” Sangyeon sighed in relief. You apologized for worrying everyone, to which Hyunjae insisted that you had no reason to feel sorry.

Luckily, the next day was not as eventful. A dinner party was prepared for the last night on the cruise and you got to dress up and have fun. You enjoyed a relaxing time in the ballroom with music playing from the speakers and the boys embarrassing themselves on the dance floor.

You giggled as you watched Changmin ask his crush for a dance after Chanhee quite literally pushed his friend to approach her. It was sweet to see both of them all shy in each other’s arms.

Juyeon nudged Eric and nodded in your direction to ask if he was going to ask you to dance as well. When Eric pretended not to know what he was talking about, Sunwoo joined in to tease him.

“Come on, bro. We all know you like her. Just hurry up and make a move already,” Sunwoo snickered.

“Ooh are we talking about Y/n?” Hyunjae came after eavesdropping.

“I hate you guys,” Eric rolled his eyes as he tried to hide his blush.

Learning from Chanhee, Sunwoo shoved his best friend towards you and fled after he bumped into you. Shooting him a glare, Eric silently swore at him with his eyes. He cringed before turning around to face you.

He felt his breath being stolen away when his eyes met yours. You were absolutely stunning. The glimmer of the chandelier shining on your enhanced your features and he found himself lost in your orbs.

From a few tables away, Kevin and Jacob had joined the other three guys to fanboy over the interaction. Juyeon whispered “he’s totally whipped” to Sunwoo who failed to hold back his laughter. Eric, however, didn’t even notice. He was too busy gaping at you.

“Uhh is there something on my face?” you asked, bringing your palm to your cheek. You were slightly self conscious at his intense staring.

“Beauty,” he blurted. Trying to play it cool, he acted confident and ignored the burst of laughter from his friends. You felt your face heat up at his comment and awkwardly coughed as you looked away.

“Y-You look great too,” you stuttered.

On his way to pour himself some more punch, Chanhee loudly told you to just dance with Eric. He passed by and continued to walk towards the drinks without a care as to how flustered he left you two. Your friends were practically doubling over in laughter at this point.

So Eric boldly held your hand and gently guided you to the dance floor. Feeling your body heat up, he applied his cooling powers on you to prevent you from igniting flames.

“I guess we could say there’s a spark between us,” he joked.

The rest of the night flew by in a blur. You hadn’t felt so carefree in so long. For the first time in a while, you weren’t hung up on the past or worried about the future. You simply appreciated the moment as you were living it.

You never expected things to turn out the way it did. With the death of your parents, you lost a lot of things. But your new friends made you feel complete again. They healed you in ways you couldn’t have imagined.

The revelation of your true identity also brought you peace. You no longer felt like the odd one out. Your own powers didn’t scare you and you felt safe learning about them at the boarding school.

However, you began to doubt all of that the second you docked back on land. You were chatting with Eric about his favorite ramen brand when an all-too-familiar voice made you freeze.

“Y/n..?” he carefully called out. He slowly came up to see if it really was you and gasped when he saw that it was.

Eric didn’t know why he suddenly felt uneasy. Maybe it was because an unknown male had made a reappearance in your life or maybe it was because he recognized the way he was looking at you. It was the same way he looked at you as well.

Chanhee, now protective and defensive, slightly pushed you to the back to ask who he was.

“It’s okay, Chanhee. He’s my friend,” you assured, stepping forward.

Juyeon scowled, not liking that you were interacting with people from the human world. It was borderline going against the rules.

“Hey, Hyunjoon. Long time no see,” you timidly greeted.

“Are you kidding me? You disappeared after a fire burned down your house and that’s all you have to say to me?” Hyunjoon fumed.

You winced at the pain evident in his voice. It had hurt you to ignore your best friend and there hadn’t been a day where you didn’t miss him. Guilt-ridden, you were unable to meet his eyes. He took you by surprise by pulling you in for a hug.

“We thought of the worst, Y/n,” he murmured. “I forgive you for going M.I.A. on me. It’s okay. Everything’s fine as long as you’re here.”

You choked back tears but couldn’t stop one from falling down your cheek. You heard the headmaster gathering the students to get on the bus back home and knew that you didn’t have much time before you had to leave him again. Sangyeon patted you on the shoulder and ran ahead to ask the headmaster for leniency.

“I-I have to go soon,” you stammered as you broke away from his embrace.

“Go where? You’re not coming back home?” Hyunjoon asked.

“I… have a new home now,” you gulped. “I can’t tell you where and I can’t promise that I’ll be able to see you again. But I’ve missed you. I still do.”

“Are you safe?” he whispered after staying silent for a bit. “Are you happy?”

You took a glimpse of your group of friends that was unconvincingly pretending to not listen to the conversation. It almost made you chuckle despite the situation.

“Yeah,” you trailed off. “I’m doing well, Hyunjoon. And I hope the same for you. I’m sorry.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” he forced a smile as he hugged you one last time. “Bye, Y/n.”

“Bye, Hyunjoon.”

It pained you to see him watch you walk away. Your heart broke with each step you took. On the ride back to the forest, you stared out the window. Eric, sitting next to you, softly squeezed your hand to offer you some comfort.

“I made the right choice, right?” you asked, leaning on his shoulder.

“Do you regret it?” he cautiously asked.

You thought about it. You definitely missed Hyunjoon and all of your other old friends. You also definitely felt bad that you left them behind without a word and still couldn’t provide an explanation. But at the same time, you’ve grown to love your new school and new friends. You no longer had to be on edge without even knowing the reason why. Creker Academy made you feel confident. The boys made you feel accepted. Eric made you feel loved.

“No,” you answered with certainty. “Not at all.”

a/n: for the eric to my sunwoo, @sohnhorizon​

[shesawriter39049]

|Breakdown’s & Bugatti’s| M|

PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader (Ft a hint of Tae & Jin)

About- Namjoon just does what he has to do to keep you ....calm while at a charity gala!  

OR:

CHAPTER 1 : MEET THE KIMS OF NEW YORK 

**WARNINGS: **Semi public sex, Fingering (F receiving), Minimal prep, Light dirty talk, Light spit play, Choking, Spanking, Gags (Makeshift), Non protective sex (Creampie), light overstimulation

WC: 7K (This is a sneak peak so it’s 1.2k)

NON SEXUAL WARNINGS: (Fictional political background)  Hints at recreational drug use (Molly) Brief mentions of death, father issues, and panic attacks/anxiety (All of these topics are super minor but again, out of respect I’m mentioning them) 

The remaining “characters” will be introduced at a later date

This chapter hints at various future plots 

This is almost 2 years old, I reworked it recently 

If you’ve been following me for a while this is the original draft for “Club First Royale” 

FINAL NOTE: I haven’t been active in damn hear a year ( 8 months) So I am posting sneak peeks intentionally! No, not to torture you guys lol but to get my blog flowing again because I’m sure people aren’t really checking in anymore

OT7 ALTERNATING STORYLINES

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FINALLY, fuck 36737 years later you spot your Kim!

Standing there in all his glory, in a Valentino slim fit navy blue suit, the jacket appearing to have some sort of paisley print, opting against a tie. Leaving his crisp white dress shirt slightly unbuttoned, teasing at his broad carnalized chest as he makes his way from the bar. Heading over to the table, which has an empty seat waiting right beside him with your name written all over it...literally!

Purposely dodging the old lady to your left in a coat that would have PETA ready to throw hands! Gaudy diamonds, terrible Botox, and smelled as if she showered in an entire bottle Chanel No. 5! 

Yeah, no, sorry, not in the mood for another meet and greet right now!

“Joonie” Squeals from your lips once you’re in close enough proximity, his dark piercing eyes cut over to meet yours. A playful smirk tugging on those sinfully thick lips of his, accompanied by those disrespectful ass dimples!

“There she is!” Eyes dripping with warmth, as he ushered you in with open arms ,and in these types of situations, Namjoon felt like home, he was your safe space. “You look fuckin good” The words hushed into your hair in a tenor meant for your ears and your ears only! A hint of something a little more than just friendly playing on his tongue. 

A small little “Thank you” leaves your lips, and if I didn't know any better I’d think the compliment made you a little flustered.

Namjoon was the definition of Ocean arm’s and goddamn if you didn't just love how big this man was! It literally felt like he was hiding you from the entire universe when he has you nuzzled into his frame! The whole interaction couldn't have lasted longer than 20 seconds in all actuality but god you needed it! 

Face flush to his chest, wrapping your arms firm around his waist, letting your eyes flutter shut briefly, a deep slow exhale flooded through your body. Inhaling the musky yet sweet scent of his cologne mixed with his natural aroma, which has grown to become a calming mechanism over the years. 

“You had me worried for a minute…” Placing a quick kiss in your hair, that you would have missed if you blinked but again, your in public soo...

Palms soothing up and down your back gently, as he breathed into your hair , pulling back a little so there was some form of personal space between the two of you.  

“Your late, even for you princess...I know you started early, I got your live(Instagram) notification, so what happened?” Head clocked to the side as he appraises you and fuck, the bass in his voice still has you all types of fucked up! Glancing over your shoulder briefly before leaning up to place a kiss on the hinge of his jaw, that tittered the line of passing as an “innocent” greeting. 

“I’m fine Jonnie it’s nothing, we just got held up in glam.., Ariel was flying in from Miami...we got a late start” Gaze intentionally diverted as you welcomed yourself to his glass of Scotch instead. Damn near inhaling the entire drink as we speak and you hated dark liquor so that alone let him know something was up!  

Merely resisting the urge to smooth out the crease he felt forming between his brows, a dry snort left his lips, rolling his eyes in response to your blatant stubbornness. Nevertheless, always the gentleman, reaching down to pull out your chair so you could take a seat next to him. Mirroring your actions just moments prior, quickly scoping out his surroundings before he brought those plush pillows he calls lips a centimeter away from your ear.

Fuck. 

  “Right, so I'm just going to assume you don’t wanna talk about it right now! Or wait I’m sorry, have you just upgraded to insulting my intelligence straight to my damn face?” 

Brow quirked inquisitively, and you could literally feel every word, tone taking on a hint of seriousness the more he talked. Namjoon licked his lips and the tip skimmed the edge of your ear and I - . 

“For one you smell like an entire bottle of Heidsieck, I can almost taste the nicotine on your tongue and you've been crying I know you. ”  

Pulling back just enough to glare down at you above the brim of his glasses, which he always wore low along his bridge. Eyes daring you to look him in the face a lie again, teasing his fingers through his chocolate locks. Styled in the perfect semi grown out undercut, the top a little on the long side, while the sides tapered into a crisp fade. Sideburns outlining that extremely understated jawline of his! Though you had to admit the yellow gold diamonds dawning his ears were kinda stealing the show right now! 

“So again, do you just not wanna talk about it right now? Or have you forgotten that I have an IQ of 137, and can smell bullshit from here all the way to Gangnam!?” 

You're having very vivid day daydreams of your hand wrapped around this man's windpipe and for once it’s not even remotely sexual! 

Blatantly ignoring the strong twitch within Namjoon’s jaw and simply saying “I’m here, aren’t I!?” Face stoic, tone flat as all hell, in case it wasn’t clear that this conversation was more than over, you opted to eye his bourbon glazed salmon until he got the hint.

 “Oh, for fucks sake! ” Hissed from his lips without a lick of heat behind them, because as quiet as it’s kept ,your lowkey Joon’s baby, which is why he cares to begin with! Picking up a piece on his fork before essentially shoving it into your hand ”Your lucky I can’t have your ass getting sick on me tonight, we still have like, 3 hours left of this bullshit.”

More like he just can’t tell you no, but hey, whatever helps him sleep at night! Sliding his plate in your direction, completely giving up on eating at this point, he knew you needed it more anyway! Finally, starting to feel your mix of poisons hit your system so you knew you needed  to even it out with a little substance. I mean yeah, you could have just ordered your own plate but meh, this was easier! 

Namjoon started busying himself on his phone while you ate, scrolling through a couple contacts until he landed on a contact labeled under “Kookie”.

“Even though you were only late because “Your glam team ran late” There were air bunnies involved, and again you just really wanna choke his ass!  “What are you thinking tonight? He’s actually on his way here right now, but he already has a couple options on him...” 

The question was vague and for damn good reason...considering…

However you knew exactly what he was referring too.., and thank god!

Speaking over a mouth full of salmon, sounding utterly exasperated!  “Honestly, any fucking thing at this point…” 

Namjoon hums thoughtfully, sucking on a Bourbon soaked Ice cube “He’ll be here in 20, I just went with Smartees…always a safe bet...” 

Smartees, candy, Vitamin -E, Molly... Estcasy...it’s all one and the same, just depends on who you ask!

He leans back in, apparently keen on whispering tonight. “Maybe, if your a good girl and eat enough we can split one before we leave...chill you out a little bit. '' Voice thick and heady, lips curling into a grin with a hint of something wicked playing on the ends, as his fingers idly ghost over your forearm. Giving it a light squeeze and regardless of how innocent the skin-ship may seem to the naked eye, you’re well aware of all the underlying innuendos behind it! 

You make a noise of agreement, trying your damnedest to ignore the slight chill coursing up your spine at the pet name. Though before you could even dwell, Namjoon was sliding back in with another update, this one however wasn't as...arousing…to say the least!

“Fox 2’s been waiting for you to get here by the way...since the event was put together by council and all. They've been wanting to talk to us together about the fundraiser, just the same shit as last year.” 

Waving his hand dismissively idly twirling the various pieces of Bvlgari around his fingers, seemingly un-phased while you on the other hand...release the most exasperated huff! Reclining against your seat, eyes rolling to the back of your head in 30 different directions! Yeah, It comes with the territory, you know this, hints Namjoons reaction, or lack thereof!  But fuck you just really weren’t in the mood to do press tonight, It’s literally physically exhausting to pretend that you weren’t just PISSED! 

“Of -fuckin- course they do!” Stabbing your mashed potatoes in a way that's... somewhat concerning… 

“Baby.” It was a warning, though his voice sat barley above a whisper, his tone was crystal! Eyes cutting in your direction briefly before dropping back down to his phone….

You didn't have it in you to argue, there’s no way around this anyway, fuck it!  “What -the-fuck-ever!” Sliding the half empty plate aside “Well, you wanna just get it out of the way now? Because I’m really not in the mood for-”

“Y/n..oh my god! Hi, honey how are you!? You look beautiful as always…” Suddenly there was a human, a human wearing the wrong shade of foundation kissing your cheek. A human by the name of Caroline, one of the local news anchors...clearly her damn ears were ringing.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi guys, that’s all she wrote, well kinda, actually she finished it like 16 months ago lol but that’s all she wrote for now I guess....

**_

_****Love you...see ya soon!!**

***SIDE NOTE, MY FRIEND MADE THE TWITTER EDIT SO DON’T ASK LOL IDK ****

UPDATE: HEADCANONS FOR THE KIM BOYS/OC

  HEADCANONS

[samwisethewitch]

Coping with religious trauma

CONTENT WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, TRAUMA RECOVERY, AND HOMOPHOBIA. The advice in this post is intended for an adult audience, not for those who are legal minors.

A lot of people find their way to paganism after having traumatic experiences with organized religion, especially in countries like the United States, where 65% of the population identifies as Christian. (This number is actually at an all-time low — historically, the percentage has been much higher.) Paganism, which is necessarily less dogmatic and hierarchical than the Abrahamic religions, offers a chance to experience religion without having to fit a certain mold. This can be extremely liberating for people who have felt hurt, abused, or ignored by mainstream religion.

To avoid making generalizations that might offend people, I’ll share my own story as an example.

My family joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, better known as the Mormons, when I was nine years old. The Mormons are an extremely conservative sect of evangelical Christianity that places a heavy emphasis on maintaining a strong community that upholds their religious values. The problem with that is that Mormon values are inherently racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic. As a teenager in the Mormon Church, I was told that as a woman, my only purpose in life was to marry a (Mormon) man and raise (Mormon) children. I was discouraged from pursuing a college education if it meant delaying marriage. I was not allowed to participate in the full extent of religious ritual because I was not a man. I was not allowed to express myself in ways that went against Mormon culture, and I kept my bisexuality secret for fear I would be ostracized. I didn’t have any sort of support system outside the Church, which inevitably made the mental health issues that come with being a queer woman in a conservative Christian setting much, much worse.

I left the Mormons when I was seventeen, and by that time I had some major issues stemming from my time in the Church. I had been extremely depressed and anxious for most of my teen years. I struggled with internalized misogyny and homophobia. I had very low self-esteem. I had anxiety around sex and sexuality that would take years of therapy and self-work to overcome. I wanted to form a connection with the divine, but I wasn’t sure if I was worthy of such a connection.

I was attracted to paganism, specifically Wicca, because it seemed like everything Mormonism wasn’t. Wicca teaches equality between men and women, with a heavy focus on the Goddess in worship. It places an emphasis on doing what is right for you, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. It encourages sexuality and healthy sexual expression. Learning about Wicca, and later other types of paganism, helped me develop the kind of healthy spirituality I’d never experienced as a Mormon. Although Wicca is no longer the backbone of my religious practice, it was a necessary and deeply healing step on my spiritual journey.

I’m not sharing my story to gain sympathy or to make anyone feel bad — I’m sharing it because my situation is not an uncommon one in pagan circles. The vast majority of pagans are converts, meaning they didn’t grow up pagan. Some had healthy upbringings in other faiths, or no faith at all, and simply found that paganism was a better fit for them. Others, like myself, had deeply traumatic experiences with organized religion and are attracted to paganism because of the freedom, autonomy, and empowerment it offers.

If you fall into this latter category, this post is for you. Untangling the threads of religious trauma can be an extremely difficult and overwhelming task. In this post, I lay out six steps to recovery based on my own experiences and those of other people, both pagan and non-pagan, who have lived through religious trauma.

While following these steps will help jumpstart your spiritual healing, it’s important to remember that healing is not a linear process — especially healing from emotional, mental, and spiritual trauma. You may have relapses, you may feel like you’re moving in circles, and you may still have bad days in five or ten years. That’s okay. That’s part of the healing process. Go easy on yourself, and let your journey unfold naturally.

Step One: Cut all ties with the group that caused your trauma

Or, at least, cut as many ties as reasonably possible.

Obviously, if you’re still participating in a religious organization that has caused you pain, the first step is to leave! But before you do, make sure you have an exit plan to help you disengage safely and gracefully.

To make your exit plan, start by asking yourself what the best, worst, and most likely case scenarios are, and be honest in your answers. Obviously, the best case scenario is that you leave, everyone accepts it, and all is well. The worst case scenario is that someone tries to prevent you from leaving — you may be harassed by missionaries or concerned churchgoers, for example. But what is the most likely case scenario? That depends on the religious community, their beliefs, and how involved you were in the first place. When making your exit plan, prepare for the most likely scenario, but have a backup plan in case the worst case scenario happens.

Once you’ve prepared yourself for the best, worst, and most likely outcomes, choose a friend, significant other, or family member who can help you make your exit. Ideally, this person is not a member of the group you are trying to leave. Their role is mainly to provide emotional support, although they may also need to be willing to run off any well-meaning missionaries who come calling. This person can also help you transition after you leave. For example, you might make a plan to get coffee with them every week during the time your old religious community holds worship services.

Finally, make your strategy for leaving. Choose a date and don’t put it off! If you have any responsibilities within the group, send in a letter of resignation. Figure out who you’ll need to have conversations with about your leaving — this will likely include any family members or close friends who are still part of the group. Schedule those conversations. Make sure to have them in public places, where people will be less likely to make a scene.

If you feel it is necessary, you may want to request that your name be removed from the group’s membership records so you don’t get emails, phone calls, or friendly visits from them in the future. You may not feel the need to do this, but if contact with the group triggers a mental health crisis, this extra step will help keep you safe.

Of course, it’s not always possible to completely cut ties with a group after leaving. You may have family members, a significant other, or close friends who are still members. If this is the case, you’ll need to establish some clear boundaries. Politely but firmly tell them that, although you’re glad their faith adds value to their lives, you are not willing to be involved in their religious activities. Let them know that this is what is best for your mental and emotional health and that you still value your relationship with them.

Try to make compromises that allow you to preserve the relationship without exposing you to a traumatic religious environment. For example, if your family is Christian and always spends all day on Christmas at church, offer to celebrate with them the day after, once their religious commitments are over.

Hopefully, your loved ones can respect these boundaries. If not, you may need to distance yourself or walk away altogether. If they are knowingly undermining your attempts to take care of yourself, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

During this time, you may find it helpful to read other people’s exit stories online or in books. One of my personal favorites is the book Girl at the End of the World by Elizabeth Esther. Hearing other people’s stories can help you remember that other people have been through similar situations and made it out on the other side. You will too.

Step Two: Seek professional help

I cannot overstate the importance of professional counseling when dealing with trauma of any kind, including religious trauma. Therapists and counselors have the benefit of professional training. They are able to be objective, since they’re approaching the situation from the outside. They can keep you from getting bogged down in your own thoughts and feelings.

I understand that not everyone has access to therapy. I am very lucky to have insurance that covers mental health counseling, but I know not everyone has that privilege. However, there are some options that make therapy more affordable.

There may be an organization in your area that offers free or low-cost therapy — if you live in the U.S., you can find information about these services by checking the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine or visiting mentalhealth.gov. You can also look for therapists who use a sliding scale for payment, which means they determine an hourly rate based on the client’s income. And finally, if you have a little bit of extra cash you may want to look into therapy apps like BetterHelp or Talkspace, which are typically cheaper than in-person therapy.

If none of those options work for you, the next best option is to join a support group. Support groups allow you to connect with other people whose experiences are similar to yours and, unlike therapy, they allow you to get advice and feedback from multiple people. These groups are often free, although some charge a small fee.

Finding the right group for you is important. You’re unlikely to find a group for people recovering from religious trauma but, depending on the nature of your trauma, you may fit right in with a grief and loss group, an addiction recovery group, or a group for adult survivors of child abuse. If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you may be able to find a queer support group. (The LGBTQ+ club at my college was an invaluable resource in my recovery!) Depending on your area, you may also be able to find groups for specific mental and emotional issues like depression or anxiety.

Make sure to do your research before attending a meeting. Find out what, if anything, the group charges, who can join, and whether they use a curriculum or have unstructured sessions. See if you can find a statement about their values and philosophy. Make a note of where meetings are held and of who is running the group. Some support groups meet in churches and may or may not have a religious element to their curriculum. It’s best to avoid religious groups — the last thing you need right now is to be preached to.

Getting other people involved in your recovery will make you feel less alone and prevent you from getting stuck in your own head. A good therapist, counselor, or support group can help you realize what you need to work on and give you ideas for how to approach it.

Step Three: Deprogramming

“Deprogramming” refers to the practice of undoing brainwashing and reintroducing healthy thought patterns. This term is normally used in the context of cult survivors and their recovery, but deprogramming techniques can also be helpful for people recovering from a lifetime of toxic religious rhetoric.

To begin the process of deprogramming, familiarize yourself with the way organizations use thought control to shape the behavior of their members. I recommend starting with the work of Steven Hassan — his BITE model is a handy way to classify types of thought control.

The BITE model lays out four types of control. There’s Behavior Control, which controls what members do and how they spend their free time. (For example, requiring members to attend multiple hours-long meetings each week.) There’s Information Control, which restricts members’ access to information. (For example, denying certain aspects of the group’s history.) There’s Thought Control, which shapes the way members think. (For example, classifying certain thoughts as sinful or dirty.) And finally there’s Emotional Control, which manipulates members’ emotions. (For example, instilling fear of damnation or punishment.)

Here’s a simple exercise to get you started with your deprogramming. Divide a blank sheet of paper into four equal sections. Label one section “Behavior,” one “Information,” one “Thought,” and one “Emotions.” Now, in each section, make a list of the ways your old religious group controlled — and maybe still controls — that area of your life. Once you’ve completed your lists, choose a single item from one of your lists to work on undoing.

For example, let’s say that in your “Information” column, you’ve written that you were discouraged from reading certain books because they contained “evil” ideas. (For a lot of people, this was Harry Potter. For me, it was The Golden Compass.) Pick up one of those books, and read it or listen to it as an audiobook. Once you’ve read it, write down your thoughts. Did you enjoy it? Why or why not? Why do you think your group banned it? What was in this book that they didn’t want you to know about? Write it down.

Once you’ve worked on the first thing, choose something else. Keep going until you’ve undone all the items on your lists.

If you want to go further with deprogramming, I recommend the book Recovering Agency by Luna Lindsey. Although this book is specifically written for former Mormons, I genuinely believe it would be helpful to former members of other controlling religious groups as well. Lindsey does an excellent job of explaining how thought control works and of connecting it to real world examples, as well as deconstructing those ideas. Her book has been a huge help in my recovery process, and I highly recommend it.

Step Four: Replace toxic beliefs and practices with healthy ones

This goes hand-in-hand with step three, and if you’re already working on deprogramming then you’ll already have started replacing your unhealthy beliefs. This is the turning point in the recovery process. You’re no longer just undoing what others have done to you — now you get an opportunity to decide what you want to believe and do going forward. This is the time to let go of things like denial of your desires, fear of divine punishment, and holding yourself to unattainable standards. Get used to living in a way that makes you happy, without guilt.

Notice how each step builds on the previous steps. Therapy and deprogramming can help you identify what beliefs and behaviors need to be adjusted or replaced. Your therapist, support group, and/or emotional support person can help you make these changes and follow through on them.

These new beliefs and practices don’t have to be religious — in fact, it’s better if they aren’t. If you can live a healthy, happy, balanced life without religion, you’ll be in a better position to choose a religion that is the right fit for you, if that is something you want.

Your new healthy, non-religious practices may include: mindfulness meditation, nature walks, journaling, reading, exercise, energy work, learning a hobby or craft, or spending time with loves ones — or it might include none of these things, and that’s okay too. Now is the time to find what brings you joy and start doing it every day.

Step Five: Ritual healing

This is an optional step, but it’s one that has been deeply healing for me. You may find it helpful to design and perform a ritual to mark your recovery.

Note that when I say “ritual,” I don’t necessarily mean magic. Rituals serve a psychological purpose as well as a spiritual one. They can act as powerful symbolic events that mark a turning point in our lives or reinforce what we already know and believe. Even if you don’t believe in magic, even if you’re the least spiritual person you know, you can still benefit from ritual.

You might choose to perform a ritual to finalize your healing, or to symbolically throw off the chains of your old religion. It can be elaborate or simple, long or short, joyful or solemn. It might include lighting a candle and saying a few words. It might include ecstatic dance. It might include drawing or painting a representation of all the negative emotions associated with your old religion, then ritually destroying it. The possibilities are literally endless. (If you’re looking for ritual ideas, I recommend the book Light Magic for Dark Times by Lisa Marie Basile.)

One type of ritual that some people find very empowering is unbaptism. An unbaptism is exactly what it sounds like — the opposite of a baptism. The idea is that, if a baptism makes a Christian, an unbaptism makes someone un-Christian, no longer part of that lineage. It is a ritual rejection of Christianity. (Obviously, this only applies if you’re a former Christian, though some of the following suggestions could be adjusted to fit a rejection of other religions.)

If you’re interested in unbaptism, here are some ideas for how it could be done:

A classic method of unbaptism is to recite the Lord’s Prayer backwards under a full moon. (For a non-Christians version, use a significant prayer from whatever religion you have left.)

Run a bath. Add a tiny pinch of sulfur (a.k.a. brimstone) to the water. Get into the bath and say, “By water I was baptized, and by water my baptism is rejected.” Submerge your entire body under the water for several seconds. When you come back up, your unbaptism is complete. (You may want to shower after this one. Sulfur does not smell good.)

The Detroit Satanic Temple has a delightfully dramatic unbaptism ritual. For a DIY version, you will need holy water or some other relic from the faith you were baptized in, a fireproof dish, a black candle, and an apple or other sweet fruit. Light the candle and place it in your fireproof dish. Toss some holy water onto the flame (not enough to extinguish it) and say, “I cast my chains into the dust of hell.” Take a bite of the apple and say, “I savor the fruit of knowledge and disobedience.” Finally, declare proudly, “I am unbaptized.” You can add “in the name of Satan” at the end or leave it out, depending on your comfort level.

Personally, I’ve never felt the need to unbaptize myself. I’ve ritually rejected my Mormon upbringing in other ways. Maybe someday I’ll decide to go for the unbaptism, but I’ve never really felt like I needed it. Likewise, you’ll need to decide for yourself what ritual(s) will work for you.

Step Six: Honor your recovery

Our first reaction to trauma is to hide it away and never speak of it again. When we do this, we do ourselves a disservice. Your recovery is a part of your life story. You had the strength to walk away from a situation that was hurting you, and that deserves to be celebrated! Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come!

You may choose to honor your recovery by celebrating an important date every year, like the day you decided to leave the group, the date of the last meeting you attended, or the date you were removed from the membership records. Keep this celebration fun and light — get drinks with friends, bake a cake for yourself, or just take a few moments to silently acknowledge your journey.

If you feel like having a party is a bit much, you can also honor your recovery by talking to other people about your experiences. Share your story with others. If you’re feeling shy, try sharing your story anonymously online. (Reddit has several forums specifically for anonymous stories.) You’ll be amazed by how validating it can be to tell people what you’ve been through. `

Another way to honor your recovery is to work for personal and religious freedom for all people. Protest laws with religious motivations. Donate to organizations that campaign for the separation of church and state. Educate people about how to recognize an unhealthy religious organization. Let your own story motivate you to help others who are in similar situations.

And most of all, take joy in your journey. Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, but know that your recovery is a lifelong journey. Be gentle and understanding with yourself. You are doing what is right for you, and no god or spirit worthy of worship could ever be upset by that.

[a-lil-perspective]

I have been silent for some time now. I have refrained from exhibiting any plaguing thoughts that might warrant me the label of “that person”, but I’m at the point where I’ve had my fill.

Ramble under the cut so as to not... offend or inconvenience anyone. There’s absolutely no obligation to read this. It’s Tumblr. You can block/ignore me. The option to do so is readily accessible.

I’ve been a Bad Batch fan since day one. While I didn’t start creating that very same day, it was relatively close. Point being, I’m a long-time dedicated fan. As the premiere to their series draws closer, I feel like there is going to be a great shift, rift here. That being said, I figured now is as good a time as any to make this post.

I love those boys beyond words. They’ve been the one constant in my life amidst a rapid and debilitating change. I love getting to give them life, even if my interpretations aren’t the most accurate.

Yes, I am a new Writer and yes, I am new to Tumblr, as I am sure both of those things are painfully apparent.

I get that it is impossible to please everyone. It’s something I’m learning more and more with each passing day. It’s something that gets harder to swallow, even more so.

I’d like to say that being here has been a largely positive experience, with all of these great connections and opportunities. But honestly? It’s been more isolating than anything. I’ve actually never felt more isolated than since I joined a year ago.

As a content creator or even just a general blogger, I don’t ask for much. I don’t ask for anything, in fact. I consider myself very low maintenance. I don’t demand/harass/play the martyr for reblogs. I have never mentioned it once, and never will. Some people on here are so damn passive-aggressive about it, and quite frankly, it’s embarrassing. It’s very stigmatizing. While I completely understand the frustration surrounding the like-to-reblog ratio, I think it’s neither tasteful nor reputable to threaten to call people out for not reblogging your fics. I wish I could say I was joking on that one. But I’ve seen it profoundly. Not cool.

And yet, no one says anything or raises any concern there.

Yet I make metas, harmless rambles, and I get shot down? Seriously?

—I need to “chill”, it’s “overkill”, I’m “overthinking”. I and my content are apparently just so damn arduous to interact with.

If you don’t like me, please just move on. There are plenty of other Bad Batch creators for you to enjoy. You know that. My work is absolutely not the final say, and I’ve never claimed it to be.

What is so wrong, with sharing one’s thoughts? Why do people inherently have a problem with other’s creative efforts? I see it time over again. Why do I feel like if I was making a bunch of smutty posts it wouldn’t be as much of a problem, that it in fact would be infinitely more welcome? (Absolutely NO shade to people who create smut, okay? I’ve made my own share. I admire those bold enough to do so regularly. I absolutely love them. Please teach me your ways).

This ramble really has nothing to do with the most recent event regarding my contributions. Rather, it’s a culmination of experiences over the past several months that have brewed and festered to the point where I can no longer keep downplaying it.

Social media, at its core, is one big popularity contest. It always has been, it always will be. But I’m not here to win. That’s never been my objective. That’s not what I’m about. Surprise (or not), I am not a popular blog. Not by a long shot. I’ll never claim otherwise.

I don’t ask people to view/interact with my content, I’m not an activist, I can’t even fathom exuding that kind of confidence. Even though I, admittedly, crave it. I suspect I crave interaction as much as the next creator. It’s a nice feeling. Yet there’s never been any obligation for it, especially with me, so I don’t understand what the problem is. As I’ve said, there are ample ways for you to block/avoid me. It’s the internet. In this day and age, there’s no excuse for viewing anything you don’t want to.

I came here in the hopes of finding like-minded individuals, uplifting and interacting, and exercising some otherwise stunted creativity.

All Tumblr as taught me is that creating and contributing is largely a thankless, empty endeavor. You can give and give and give and be reduced to nothing. There’s a profound imbalance between “giving” and “receiving”, and in regards to both ends of the scale, it’s became apparent to me that if you don’t cater heavily and in unreasonable degrees or get “noticed” by a popular blog, you get nothing, and your efforts are null and void.

Truthfully? I constantly feel like I walk on eggshells here, and it’s all I can do to not crack under the pressure, even though it’s my blog and my headspace. I should feel comfortable and free to express myself here, and I don’t, and I’m unsure of how to achieve that sense of stability. To be completely honestly I feel like a constant bother and a nuisance. When I post, I literally feel like there is a collective eye-roll that comes with people receiving a notification from my blog. Even though I know, rationally, that can’t be true, that’s an absurd level of thinking. I can’t say I can pinpoint exactly where it stems from.

But regardless: I hardly ever talk about/create the things I actually want. I only recently just got ballsy enough to share some metas, and we all know how well that’s going. I try not to have smut out of respect for my asexual/minor mutuals, even though the tag to blacklist is very much an option. I try not to bring up conflicting topics, Tumblr, political, or otherwise, even though with proper tagging I could. But I try not to even bring that into existence. Even though it’s my right to, I don’t.

I don’t actually feel like I fit into any narrative here, especially in the Bad Batch fandom; even though we are all basically the same steadfast group of bloggers. We all know who we are. We all coexist in the same space. It’s nearly impossible to be unaware of each other, at this point.

And yet, I’m not in a bunch of Discord servers or backed by a team of beta readers and all that jazz. It’s basically just me talking to myself out here. It’s very isolating.

Part of that—most of it—is my own crippling social anxiety, and the genuine belief that I don’t deserve to be in the same space/servers as all of these brilliant creators. Because I’m just me, and there’s not a whole lot of value there. With that mindset, it’s hard to actually feel like I belong anywhere. I know that is a mindset I have to conquer alone.

My excitement over my creations has largely dwindled into nothing. I seldom ever bounce my ideas off of others—another issue that stems from the fear of presenting as a burden—and even though I try to write for myself, even that fire has pretty much died out. I’m not even sure how or if I could even reignite it, at this point. It’s really quite sad. It makes me very sad, actually. All I wanted was to safely ramble, project all my thoughts and creativity that has otherwise been repressed through prolonged detrimental circumstances.

More than anything, I wanted to find and hold onto something that makes me feel useful, meaningful, happy. More and more I wonder if that’s even possible. I don’t think it is, not here. I often wonder if joining and sharing on Tumblr was a horrible mistake. I miss the innocent joy of when I first started creating. It was so simple. I’m trying to find that simplicity again.

But I’m burned out. I’m running on fumes. I have been for some time.

At this point it goes beyond just “taking a break” from Tumblr. It’s the fact that it all feels like this meaningless, monotonous cycle. I wonder every day if I am an isolated case in experiencing these emotions.

And yet, come tomorrow I will still be here, business as usual.

I’m not asking for sympathy or playing the victim or attacking anyone or trying to guilt-trip into more interaction. I am very aware of my shortcomings and incorrect mindsets. I’m just trying to make sense of it all. I feel very disconnected from everyone here and it’s lonely. This took a lot for me to share. I will most likely delete this because anxiety will eat me up, as it does with everything I post. Yes, everything.

[korra-the-red-lion]

Home

Here’s a Thundergrace fic I wrote because I wanted to, haha. There are some minor spoilers for s4, so just be aware! Enjoy!

It was kind of crazy when she thought about it.

Grace had always lived on the run. Growing up, her life was dangerous. She constantly had to survive on her home since leaving foster care. She managed to escape the prostitution ring with her life. Her uncontrolled Meta powers made it nearly impossible for her to cope with daily stressors. She grew up with trauma, it was a part of her very self. She never thought she could live a life like the people she worked with at the Ruby Red Lipstick Bar.

Until she met Anissa.

They had their ups and downs, for sure. They got together, the broke apart, they got together again, and she ended up falling into a coma. But never once did Anissa leave her side during that time, from what Jen told her. Grace knew right there and then that they were meant to be, forever.

Sure, they fought about things. But it was only because they were both used to being alone and living alone. There was always going to be an adjustment period, and they had to work through that together. And they did, like they always did.

But it wasn’t until Black Lightning and his team finally took down Tobias Whale that Grace felt safe. Even then, there was still crime to stop but at least the one person who knew their identity was gone forever. After that, Anissa and Grace started to talk about starting a family.

Grace poured herself a cup of hot water, placing a tea bag inside the cup as she did. The water slowly changed colour as the bag seeped. It was funny how easy things changed their shape. Like her.

She looked over when she heard the lock click. Anissa walked in, coming home from her shift at the hospital. Her face lit up when she saw Grace.

“Hey baby, how are you doing?”

Grace smiled softly, placing her cup on the counter. “Doing okay, just thinking about stuff. How was work?”

Anissa tossed her shoes off and crossed the distance of the loft. She grabbed Grace’s face gently and kissed her. “It was alright. Nothing too serious happened today, which was nice. I just couldn’t wait to get home. No work tomorrow, thank the Lord above.”

“Do you have any plans?” Grace asked, sliding her hands around Anissa’s waist.

“I dunno girl, do you?”

“Only with you,” Grace rested her forehead against Anissa’s and started sway with her wife. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of Anissa. Everything about her made Grace feel safe and calm.

“You said you were thinking about stuff when I came in?” Anissa nuzzled her nose against Grace’s. “What kinda stuff?”

“How fortunate I am that I survived growing up. Because I did, I met you and your family.” Grace pulled Anissa onto the sofa with her. “Bad things happened to me, some things I’ll never forget. But when I met you, it was like my soul knew you were the one. I don’t mean it in a cheesy soulmate kind of way…I just mean, I knew that I was going to be able to heal. No one every thought twice about the Asian kid, you know? I mean hell, no one came looking for me when I went missing, because I was just another statistic rather than a person to them. I always had to fend for myself. Then we met, and obviously it wasn’t perfect at first. But now? I think it’s pretty darn close. This place, our place, is home to me. Something I never really had growing up.”

Anissa tilted her head downwards, her eyes wet but the tears didn’t fall. “Grace, you’ve always been a fighter. You’ve also been my support person. There’s only been a few times in my life where I’ve been truly terrified. When I thought Jen was dead was one, and the other was when you were in a coma. I thought I l-lost you forever,” her voice choked up as she explained.

Grace squeezed Anissa’s hand tightly. “I could hear you. I heard you speak to me everyday. I think I must have shifted a few times because I’m pretty sure I heard a few ‘hell no’s’ from you, honey.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t dealing with your leopard ass,” Anissa laughed.

Grace leaned over and kissed Anissa. “I just can’t wait to spend every day with you, babe. Because I love waking up to you every morning. I love when you get home from work. I love your family dinners. I love talking to you about the big things and the little things. I love basically everything about you, Anissa Pierce-Choi.”

“Girl, you’re so damned sappy,” said Anissa with a giggle. “I ain’t leaving you home alone anymore.” She ran her fingers through Grace’s hair. “I also love everything about you…well, almost everything. Like, your snoring is pretty bad and I hate when you leave cat hair on the bed.”

“Anissa!” Grace laughed as she grabbed a pillow and smacked Anissa with it. “You’re the one who snores, not me!”

“Nuh-uh, it totally ain’t me!” Anissa grabbed her own pillow for defense.

Grace refused to let up on her pillow pummel, as she went on her knees to get a better angle. “I’m not going to stop unless you admit you’re the snorer!”

“Never!” Anissa tackled Grace around the waist, and they fell to the floor together with giggling shrieks.

Despite her best effort, Grace managed to get pinned to the floor by Anissa. Anissa had a huge triumphant grin on her face, pillow in hand. Grace’s pillow had been knocked away in the fall, and she was now defenseless.

“Okay, Grace, I’m going to give you one chance to admit that you’re the one who snores,” said Anissa, waving the pillow menacingly. “Understand? One. Chance.”

After considering her options, Grace had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling as she shook her head. Anissa also shook her head as she laughed, ready to end Grace right here, right now, by feathery doom. But before the pillow could come crashing down, Grace shifted into her leopard form and rolled, causing Anissa to laugh as she fell.

“Damn, that’s cheating!” Anissa said as Grace shifted back, holding her face in her hands.

“You never said I couldn’t use my powers,” said Grace with a smirk. She bent down and kissed Anissa, sighing in happiness.

It was crazy to think to think that this was her home now. Anissa was her home, and she no longer felt in danger of losing it.

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Star-Crossed: Bound by Blood

Chapter Four

Master List / Read on AO3

Previous Chapter

Warnings: Canon divergent during Chapter 13 of The Mandalorian, serious pining, much angst, violence

A/N: I make this stuff up as I go along, if I screw something Star Wars-y up, apologies in advance, I didn’t do it on purpose, but I’m new to this Fandom. I will be cross posting this story between AO3 and Tumblr except the smutty bits. Those chapters will only be available to registered users on AO3. (I’m trying something new for people who want to read here on Tumblr, but to also avoid the smut for minors controversy. We’ll see how it goes.)

*I do not have a tag list* Please follow the story on AO3 if you want email updates, or follow @tilltheendwilliwrite-library where I post the new/latest chapters of all my stories.

***

Baast, back in her own clothes and covered in a cloak, hood pulled forward to hide her face, followed Din and Grogu through the bustling streets. It had been a long time since she'd been in the company of so many. 

It was overstimulating. There were too many voices, too many scents, too many emotions bombarding her at once. She increased her pace, walking practically on Din's heels as she reached out and laid her fingertips against the beskar. 

Blessed silence. Yes, she still heard the noise with her ears, but it no longer vibrated within her skull. Too long had she isolated herself to be this out of practice blocking out the world around her.

"Baast?"

She flinched and removed her hand. "Apologies. It is… loud. I have not been around this many people for some years."

He studied her for a moment before stepping closer. "The beskar blocks your abilities, doesn't it?"

She tilted her head. "To some extent, yes."

He handed her Grogu, then took her right hand and tucked her fingers at his elbow, allowing them to graze the silver of his vambrace. 

The position of honour caused her mouth to gape. "Mando?"

"When I show up with you, it is highly probable Karga will make assumptions. Do not be alarmed if I don't dispute them."

"Ah," Baast nodded and accepted her place in their deception. 

He led her through the market, Grogu babbling happily. Now that she wasn't fighting to shield her mind, she could focus on the people around them and the merchandise.

Spices, silks, pots, pans, and machine parts all crowded together, spilling from one booth to the next. The people called, cried, and bellowed in so many languages it was deafening for an all-new reason. 

Baast had never allowed herself to enjoy such things before. Always she had remained vigilant, one step ahead of those hunting her, but she knew nothing would come that Din would not first see. 

He was a great hunter. Grogu and his snippets of memory assured her of it.

Eventually, they left the market to walk dusty streets, heading into a more respectable, business-centric area of the city, finally arriving at a neatly whitewashed building with a plaque that read Magistrate above the door.

Baast hesitated.

"He's a friend."

She glanced up at Din and felt the small wave urging her to trust him bump against her. She did trust this Mandalorian. He would not put her in danger and motioned for him to continue.

The inside was as welcoming as the outside, with soft cream walls and individuals wearing brightly coloured clothing.

The female at the desk looked up, took them in, and pressed a button at her station. "The Mandalorian is here, Magistrate Kraga."

"Well, send him back!" bellowed from down the hallway.

The female rolled her eyes and waved them on. 

Baast felt more than heard Din's amusement. "Who is he to you?" she whispered.

"He was Leader of the Bounty Hunters Guild. Now he's still that, but also Magistrate of Nevarro."

They were met in the doorway by a man of later years, the grey of his beard giving him a distinguished air that went well with his yellow and gold robes.

Someone more naive than Baast might have said he looked jolly, but she knew better. He was happy to see Din, certainly, but there was a sharpness to his smile and cunning to his eyes that bespoke a shrewd businessman lurked beneath the finery. 

"Come in, Mando! You've had some success; I take it?" he asked.

Din tilted his head and motioned for the man to proceed them back into the room.

The Magistrate turned his cunning eyes her way, and Baast was suddenly very grateful for the heavy cloak.

"And you've brought a guest?"

"Greef Karga, Baast'mal," Din said, his voice without inflection.

"Charmed, I'm sure," the man said, attempting to peer past her hood. 

Baast clutched Grogu to her and glanced up at Din. He made no move either way, just gave her the inscrutable visage of his visor.

"Pirusti met," she murmured.

Karga's brow whipped up like it was alive, surprise written on his face. "Speaks Mando'a, hmm? Did you take a riduur and not tell me, my friend?"

As he warned her, Din didn't dispute it, and Karga jumped to his own conclusions with a toothy smile. 

"Well, congratulations! A clan of three! Come, we will drink to your good fortune."

"You mean you will drink," Din chuckled and made his way across the room to a small couch where he motioned Baast to sit with Grogu as he approached the man's desk and pulled three pucks from his pocket. "You can celebrate for us later. We have somewhere else to be."

Karga stared at the pucks, eyebrow slowly winging upward. "Only three, Mando? I sent you out with four. Surely no one escapes the Great Mandalorian?"

"The last was dead on arrival. Body retrieval wasn't an option."

Baast fought not to shudder and looked down when Grogu tapped her chest. A wave of soothing calm went through her, and she forced herself to relax.

Karga peered at Din for a long time before his gaze shifted to Baast. "You know, the last time you refused to turn in a bounty - or rather when you liberated a bounty after turning them in - they wound up bound to you. If I were the suspicious sort, I would wonder at the sudden appearance of a riduur and lack of a fourth body."

Din didn't move, he said nothing, yet it was as if he grew bigger and sucked the air from the room. The swelling wave of menace left Baast breathless.

Then Karga grinned. "Good thing I'm not the suspicious sort."

The heavy feeling subsided, and Baast sucked in a full breath.

"Should they ask, you tell them she's dead."

Karga nodded. "I'll log the information myself." Then, he opened a drawer and reached inside before sliding an ingot of beskar across the table. "For your trouble."

Din visually stiffened, betraying his surprise. "Where did you get that?"

"Off the Imps after this last round of clean up."

"You have others?"

Karga shook his head before throwing a handful of credits down beside it. "That should make us even."

"It does. Get your cargo off my ship." Everything went in a pouch on Din's belt.

Karga pressed a button on his desk. "Tana'ya, send the boys."

The bodies encased in carbonite would soon be off the ship. While Baast didn't mind them, the bodies within were in stasis - dreamless and without emotion - their startled or angry faces were slightly disturbing. 

"Now, a question for your lady before you leave," Karga smiled, and Baast went still. The man was far too interested in her. "Is it true Mandalorian wives put off their armour when they decide to have little warriors?"

Baast snorted. "Di'kutla. Anade knows gar ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya."

Again Din stiffened, betraying himself in a way Baast was not used to. "She says, "Foolish. Everyone knows you train your sons to be strong, but your daughters to be stronger.'" Almost too low to hear, he murmured, "My woman is all warrior."

Pride filled her and straightened her spine before despair crashed down. She could not be his woman. She could not condemn him to half a life if their bonds failed.

Grogu's hands caressed her face, comfort offered in the gesture.

She bent and kissed his wrinkled green head. "Ni kar'tayl gai sa'ad," she whispered, claiming what might be her only opportunity to have a child by adopting this one. "I know your name as my child," she translated near his large ear when his gentle curiosity filled her, the two of them hidden beneath her hood.

He cooed and patted her face, encouraging her not to give up hope, but Baast had lost hope years ago with her first mutation. Hope was a hard thing to cling to when one's teeth fell out.

The distressed cry from Grogu - who had the misfortune of picking up on that particularly disturbing memory - had Din before them in an instant. He dropped to a knee to sit Baast back when she hadn't even realized she was slumping forward over her knees. 

He peered into the shadows of the deep hood. "Baast?"

"It is nothing," she whispered, fighting tears and a trembling lip.

"Mando?" Karga murmured, sounding genuinely concerned.

Din spoke over his shoulder. "Shut down your recording devices and give us a moment… please."

Karga appeared stunned by the please before pressing a button on his desk. He headed for the door but paused to open a small cabinet. "There is water here should she need it." 

The quiet click of the door closing announced his exit before Din was thrusting back her hood. "Baast, what is it?"

"Nothing," she whispered, closing her eyes, her heart tearing itself in two.

Soft and warm, his bare hands cradled her face and swept the tears spilling from her eyes away. "This isn't nothing. I want to help. Let me."

"You cannot help this," she insisted. "I am too broken."

"You're not broken. Baast, tell me what's wrong?"

Unable to hold out against his kindness, she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him with Grogu safe between them. "I realized I would never have warriors. I will never know the joy of growing a new life. The closest I will ever come to being a mother is with Grogu."

Though he held her gently, it was a little stiff. It made her think he hadn't hugged many people or any, but eventually, his arms tightened, and hands began to stroke tenderly along her spine. "You don't know that."

"If I cannot bond with my mate, I cannot breed," she whispered the horrible truth into his cowl.

His hands stilled. She could almost feel him processing that information. Then, ever so gently, he murmured, "Aliit ori'shya tal'din."

Family is more than blood.

She clung tighter and wept into the beskar of her star-crossed mate.

***

Din kept his hand on Baast's hooked at his elbow as they walked through the market on their way back to the ship. She was subdued, far too quiet after her revelation. When he took her down the aisle where they sold clothing, she picked what she needed and nothing more.

He added to the pile, haggled down the price and hauled the sack of new things over his shoulder before offering his arm. His whole body ached for her. He didn't know what to say, what to do, how to comfort her after this. 

It had reduced the once-proud set of her jaw to a resigned tuck as she walked silently beside him. She was despondent and not at all the proud, fierce Zentari he knew her to be. 

Maker ! He didn't know how to snap her out of this self-induced funk. 

When she yanked him, beskar and all, into a narrow alleyway between two booths, Din wondered if he would have to. "Baast?"

"Someone comes for you," she growled, removing her hand from his armour, likely to open herself to this person's mind. "They are intent on finding you."

He was already reaching for his blaster. "Do they mean us harm?"

"I cannot tell. I can just feel the urgency. They are after you. Come." Baast turned and sprinted down the alley.

Din went after her, amazed by her agility as she went up the corner of two buildings and over a roof as smoothly as she'd run down the street. He followed with only slightly less grace and paced her as they ran silently above the market.

She swung around a corner and came to a stop on the balcony of a two-story home before throwing back her hood. "They persist." She handed him Grogu before snaking the beskar spear from his back.

"Baast, let me-" 

She growled so fiercely Din took a step in retreat. "They come for you, not me. I will stop them. Go. Get Grogu to the ship."

"I'm not leaving you here!" he insisted.

Baast snarled and snapped her teeth together before shrugging her cloak to the ground and going up the wall. She was gone so fast, he barely had time to register her disappearance before a sharp cry and harsh grunt rang out a few buildings back. 

"Kriff!" he hissed, snatching up her cloak before running after her.

He leapt the space between buildings in time to watch Baast take Cara Dune's feet out from under her and put the ex-shock trooper on her ass. Then his spear was headed for Cara's chest.

"Baast, stop!"

She did, so sharply and with so much control she went from in motion to motionless in an instant. "You know this one?"

"She's a friend."

Baast stepped back, dropped the butt of the spear to the ground and scowled at him. "You have too many."

He threw her the cloak, she tossed him the spear, both catching their items in the same instant. It sent a funny flutter to his heart. 

As Baast shrugged back into her cloak, Din crossed to Cara and held down his hand. 

She glared up at him, sporting a black eye and bloody lip. "Maker, Mando. Where'd you find this one?"

Baast hissed like an angry cat before tucking her braids into her hood and lifting it over her head.

He was finding this all too amusing and too damn close to his dream to be real. "Cara Dune, Baast'mal."

Grogu cooed and reached with grabby hands for Cara, who accepted Din's and let him haul her to her feet. "Hey! Womp rat! I've missed you."

She reached for the kid, but the low growl from Baast had the three of them glancing her way. Her hands were clenched in fists, and though he could no longer see her eyes, he knew she glared at the lack of space between Grogu and Dune.

"Nayc," Baast growled.

"Why?" Din asked.

"Kaysh cuyir ner adiik."

He was only surprised for a moment. After her earlier emotions, it shouldn't have phased him she'd taken Grogu as her child.

"She is a friend," he murmured. "You can trust her with Grogu."

"Grogu?" Cara muttered. "Mando, what the kriff is this?"

"Ni taylir him o'r ner kar'ta," Baast growled, clenching her fists.

Din held out his hand, Grogu strangely silent like any Mandalore child would be when an unknown female attempted to touch the heart bound child of another. Grogu wasn't just a foundling to Baast, not anymore. She had accepted him as her child. 

This could all go sideways if he wasn't careful.

"Olaror," Din murmured, beckoning Baast to his side. "Udesla." He encouraged her to be calm when she arrived and placed her hand in his. "Haalur," he whispered for her ears alone. "No one will take him from us, but Dune has helped me get him back and keep him safe. You can trust her."

"I trust you," Baast sighed, her hand again finding its way to his elbow. "This place makes my hackles jump."

Suddenly, Cara wavered, her body rocking before she dropped to one knee. "Mando?" She fell to her side and rolled to her back. Her breath came hard and fast as dark lines raced to show her veins beneath her flesh. 

"That looks like poison," Din stated, handing Grogu to Baast before dropping down beside Cara.

"It is."

He glanced up in time to watch Baast throw back her hood and kneel beside him. "What are you talking about?

She held up an index finger and flexed it gently. From beneath the black nail emerged a sharp spine that glistened at the hollow tip. "They called it my Snake Tooth. It is full of Sand Cat venom. It appears I caught her with it. I thought her foe at the time."

"Maker," Din whispered. 

Dune was a dead woman.

"Give me your cuisse," Baast commanded as she set Grogu down, then batted his hands away. "No, ad'ika. It is more than you can heal. I will fix her."

"How?" Din asked as Dune began to claw at the ground. The pain must be excruciating, but she kept her teeth clenched.

"Your cuisse!" Baast snapped. "We have not much time." 

He began to unbuckle the thigh guard. "What are you going to do, Baast?"

The words barely cleared his lips before she reached into her mouth and yanked out a tooth. 

"Kriff!" he bellowed as blood dripped down her chin. "What was that?"

She swiped at her face, smearing blood before snatching his cuisse and turning it into a makeshift dish. "Your canteen."

He handed it over. "Baast?"

"I inherited the Manka's teeth. It is another reason they fight so hard to retrieve me." She ground the canteen down on the tooth, then added enough water to dissolve the powder before bringing his cuisse to Cara's blackening lips. "Drink and live."

Cara's wild eyes rolled to him, and Din nodded. She could trust Baast, even if the one had just tried to kill the other. 

Baast poured the liquid into Cara's mouth and made sure she swallowed before handing the thigh guard back to Din.

"How long does it take-"

"What the kriff is going on here!" Cara spat as she launched herself into a seated position, black lines receding like they were being erased.

"Hn. I see," Din chuckled. Faster than he had expected. He pulled a rag from his pocket, one always close at hand with Grogu around and dumped water on it before reaching to clean the blood from Baast's face. "How long until the tooth regrows?"

"Three weeks." Baast's lashes fluttered. She leaned into his hand like a cat enjoying the petting.

It made him sick, wondering how she knew that with such assurance. How many times had her torturers pulled her teeth? 

"You will want to avoid alcohol for the next full day. The powder will not allow harm to befall you. That includes pouring poison into your liver," Baast warned.

"What did you just do to me?" Cara demanded. 

"Saved your life. In the process, the Manka teeth make you invulnerable to harm for the next day." Baast lunged and laid Cara out, her sharp claws clenched around Cara's neck. "Do not waste this gift, and do not speak of it to anyone," she snarled.

"Or what?" Cara forced out. "I'm invulnerable to harm."

"I can still tear out your throat. Even my abilities cannot repair that." Baast gave her a bloody smile that was terrifying to see before releasing Dune and retrieving Grogu.

"I see you've made a new friend," Dune muttered. "She'd be hot if she wasn't terrifying."

Din smirked and helped Cara to her feet. "She is something."

She looked at him and arched a brow. "I think you like her."

He said nothing.

"Maker! You do!" Cara laughed and shook her head. "You know Karga thinks you married her. That she's something called a riduur? I said there's no way, not our Mando, but now I'm not sure." 

She peered up at him as if she could see through the visor. Din stared back until she huffed and shook her head. 

"Well, she fights dirty, so I guess that's a good thing. I never even felt her scratch me with that snake thingy."

"Snake Tooth," he murmured, watching Baast smile at Grogu as the little one played with the end of her braid.

"And she's sure not hard on the eyes," Dune murmured.

Jealousy soured Din's stomach. Baast was not his to covet, yet he wanted to. He wanted everyone to see how mesh'la she was, but he also wanted to hide her beauty away, let it be just for him to admire.

"What did you want, Dune?" he asked coldly.

She appeared to shake herself from Baast's thrall and turned toward him. "I just wanted to see the kid and check-in before you left again. Nothing exciting ever happens around here unless you're involved," she grinned.

"Was this excitement enough?" Din asked, amused.

"Nah," Cara scoffed. "That's a typical afternoon," she chuckled.

He snickered, watching Baast's face light up when Grogu chattered in coos and babbles. She murmured to him, spoke Mando'a so low she probably thought he couldn't hear her, but he could. He could hear her calling him sweet baby as she stroked his ear before she lifted him beneath her chin and rumbled that sound that made the thing in his chest purr back. 

If that didn't quit, he would have to get it checked by the covert's resident healer. 

It couldn't be healthy.

***

Pirusti met - well met

Nayc - no

Kaysh cuyir ner adiik - he is my child

Ni taylir him o'r ner kar'ta - I hold him in my heart

Olaror - come

Udesla - calm

Haalur - breathe

ad'ika - little one

***

Next Chapter

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.29

warnings: this cannot be read solo

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 22, part 23, part 23.5, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28, part 30

Masterlist to my other fics: here :) (that has not been updated for how many months now... proceed with caution~)

“And that's about it.” You clicked the send button and stretched your limbs.

You weren’t too sure how many hours had passed but after venting it all out to Tsukauchi, you felt much better. The weight you carried still lingered but your mind was much clearer now. Looking at the office window, the skies were now a shade of pink. Not in the mood for cheap coffee, you stood up and took a peak at Tsukauchi’s desk.

Papers scrawled and pens scattered, Tsukauchi’s head was resting on his arms as he too snoozed off. Finding his sticky notes, you left him a small message telling him where you would be going.

You could always head home and freshen up but with the small window of time, the chief might call you out for being tardy. He’d been leaving you alone for the past few weeks and you hoped it would last a bit longer.

Making your way towards the cafe, you marveled at the emptiness the streets had. Quite some time had passed since the last time you took an all nighter. Now that you think about it, ever since that injury, you have been able to get an adequate amount of rest. Every now and then, food would be delivered followed by a text complaining how you were annoying.

Entering the cafe, you walked towards the counter. Greeted by a rather huge smile, all you could give was a forced one.

“Do you h-”

“Someone already ordered for you.” The cashier said. Telling you to wait, you went to a vacant table and took your phone out. It barely took 3 minutes before she came back holding a paper bag. “Shinoda-san has already paid the bill so you’re good to go~”

“How kind of him…” You took the bag and exited the building. The streets slowly getting congested as the seconds ticked by. Dialling his number, he picked up after the 4th ring. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“I put it on a tab.” Overhaul replied. His voice was muffled by his mask. “Everything I bought for you has been recorded and will be sent to you monthly.”

“That’s just mean…”

“That’s what you get for working overtime and not going home as we had agreed.”

“It was last minute, you dumbass.” You huffed but knew he was teasing. “Are you waiting for me to say ‘I’ll make it up to you. What can I do for you, Chisaki?’ or something like that?”

“Perhaps. It is still quite early but I did come bearing news.” He paused and you could hear papers shuffling. “I feel as though you already know that the Fukuo Kai case will start in about a week or two. I was thinking perhaps we should have a private meeting.”

“With Tsukauchi?” You stopped walking.

“Are you that dense?”

“I’m kidding. What do you wanna do?” Finding a nearby bench, you took a seat and took the sandwich out.

“I recall someone saying that their definition of a good date was something along the lines of ‘You and Me against the world?’”

“Go on…” The smile building on your face couldn’t be kept hidden anymore.

“I’ve booked us tickets. If things go as planned then perhaps the day after the Fukuo Kai case would be a good end to all this.”

“A parting gift I presume?” The smile slowly faded when you remembered what came after. The sandwich now tasted horrible. You waited for him to speak up but there was nothing but silence. “Alright. The day after the case sounds good.”

“I’ll pick you up at 6. Wear something nice.”

Ending the call, you stared at your sandwich. A week or two then once that’s passed, it wouldn’t be long before Overhaul’s case would be pushed to your priority list. Looking back towards the direction of the precinct, you decided to save the sandwich for later.

Now that you were seated and facing your computer once more, you decided to recheck your schedule.

Sure enough, there really was less than 3 weeks left of the Fukuo Kai case before things would finally be handed over. A meeting with the chief was also in store a few days from now to go over the plans for the raid. Upon further scrolling, you noted how Tsukauchi had set up a date for a stake out. Clicking on the attached comment, you wondered as to why it had taken this amount of time for them to make their move.

“You awake yet, Nao?” You knocked on your cubicle.

“Barely.” He grumbled. “What’s up?”

“Regarding this stake out, do you think we can push it to 4 days from now?”

“I’m not really sure. It’ll depend on Overhaul since he will be your partner for that one.” He leaned to take a peek at your station.

“Overhaul? Why?”

“Dunno. I just thought that it’s been a while since you two teamed up.” He shrugged as he dragged his chair closer to yours. “But it’s mostly because my schedule doesn’t fit. I have to meet up with All Might for the whole week. I did ask a few others but you can guess they turned it all down out of fear.”

“Hmm. No surprise.” You tapped your index finger on the mouse. Reminding yourself to call him later regarding the sudden change of plans, you leaned on your chair. “Who’s going to be in this meeting with chief?”

“The two of you and Shinezu.”

“Poor guy.”

“It’ll do him good. Speaking of which, we have to go over the initial plan for the raid. Do you wanna do it today or save it for some other time?” Choosing the first option, Tsukauchi nodded and went back to his desk. Grabbing the necessary documents, he waited for you to prepare and led you towards a private meeting room.

“Now that we're at it,” You took the adjacent seat. “What are the updates? I haven’t really heard anything about them for quite some time now.”

“Heh. Things got a little more complicated during your sick leave.” Sliding one folder, he waited for your reaction. Seeing how your eyes widened, he let out an exhausted sigh. “As if one organization is enough, having to deal with an alliance means more trouble for us.”

“Tsk. Damn it. When did you gather this information? What source did you get this from?”

“Believe it or not, the chief actually did some work and gave us this as some sort of peace offering.”

Peace offering? What was the man planning?

“When did you receive this?” You carefully read the details.

“If I recall, it was the day before you came back to work.” He shyly scratched his nape. “It’s kinda my fault, though. I honestly forgot to inform you regarding this information.”

“It’s fine.” You assured him. “I’m thankful you didn’t relay the information right then and there. So, it says here that we infiltrate them at their headquarters. The information was true? Their headquarters are downtown?”

“That’s right. The intel we gathered showed us that movement around that certain street has picked up. Akuji was spotted as well. He’s been involved from the very start, I presume?”

“Well, he was at that gala and the head of the Fukuo Kai gave him a business card. It’s only logical he is. But to go there in person only means bad things. Any ideas?”

“If it were a higher ups meeting, Overhaul should’ve been there. Unless they know he’s involved with us?”

“He’s not.” Overhaul was shady but you trusted him enough that he would have told you if he were called to attend a gathering. For once, he was in the clear. Or so you hoped. You’d have to inquire about that once you call him later. “My guess is that they too are finalizing whatever plan they have in store. With that being said, have you any clue as to what their main agenda is now?”

“We suspect that their main agenda now is to take over at least 50 percent of the yakuza network. Overhaul’s connections are rather large so they must be feeling pretty confident to make a move now.” Tsukauchi rested his chin on his index finger. “Akuji was one person we saw. The other one was Tamisura.”

“Hmm. Any sighting of Nokusu?” It had been a while since you last mentioned their names. The last time you spoke of them was days before the gala. Tamisura, with the momentum like quirk, and Nokusu with his shadow manipulation quirk.

“None. I am not confident whether or not it is safe to assume that they have declined the invitation to take part with the Fukuo Kai.” He shrugged. “I just kinda wished it was Nokusu we were dealing with and not Tamisura. We barely know anything about her quirk.”

“I’ll ask chief about his encounter.” You answered. “Perhaps the other precincts can provide us with some information. Whether it be big or small, we’ll take it. I do agree with you, though. It just had to be her.”

“Try asking Overhaul too. Perhaps they know something about her.” He watched as you nodded. “As for the plan, there aren’t too many changes from before. Overhaul will have to carry our asses for the last part but I feel as though he can do his part well.”

“I hope so.”

With the minor details now explained, you found yourself walking towards the chief’s office. Closing your eyes and sending off as silent prayer, you only hoped things would be fine. Knocking on the door, he gave you the permission to enter.

“Chief.” You greeted him.

“Oh~ (Y/N).” He closed the folder and motioned for you to sit down. “How can I help my favorite star, hmm?”

“I just wanted to ask you about Tamisura. What exactly did you see regarding her quirk?”

“Ah.” He leaned on this squeaky chair’s back. “Fine woman, I might say. Her quirk made her move at insane speeds. Because of the momentum, it was rather hard to stop her. When she moves, a trail of yellow light follows her. If my memory serves me right, then, I believe it would take her awhile to fully use her quirk?”

“Like charging herself?”

“Don’t take my word for it.” He raised both his hands up. “During that particular instance, one of my men noticed how she kept distance before attacking. Perhaps that’s the downside to her quirk. As for the duration, I cannot give any information.”

“This is more than enough.” You stood up and bowed. “Thank you for the cooperation and I apologize for disturbing you.”

“Anything for you, my star~” He winked.

Suppressing a groan, you awkwardly smiled and hurriedly left the room. Your prayers had been heard and the interaction was clean. The given information wasn’t much but it was something. Taking your phone out, you dialed Overhaul.

Strangely enough, he didn’t answer. Then again, you were sure he was doing whatever he did at 9am in the morning. The mental image you had as to what his activities were were rather vague but you could only hope he wouldn’t indulge in them too much. Who were you kidding? He was messed up. You were too for harboring feelings.

Not wanting to stay any longer, you informed Tsukauchi that you would be heading home.

When you locked your car doors, your phone rang. Checking who it was, you immediately answered it.

“You called?”

“I know it’s sudden but you think you can clear your schedule for me?”

“What exactly do you need, Problem Child?”

“I just wanna ask you a few questions about the Fukuo Kai case.”

“Does it have to be in person?” His voice was rather teasing. Admittedly, you always loved it when he spoke with that tone. “Alright. I shall see you where?”

“My apartment is fine. I’ll arrive there in about 30 minutes, so just take your time.”

“See you then.” He paused at your silence of a few seconds. “What?”

“Bring food! Bye~!” You ended the call immediately. Giggling at the moment, you tossed your phone to the seat and began your drive back home.

- - - - -

Hello everyone! It's me!

I know I haven't updated the story in 3 months? And I apologize :( My family has well recovered from the COVID scare of last year. What took its place was my declining mental health due to my shitty work environment. I could barely write any of my fics and even when I did write a new one, I could only hold on to very little chapters before feeling down and useless T.T

As to the next upload, I am not sure when but I can promise you that the next chapter is currently being written as we speak :) I hope you guys liked the 2 new chapters! and if you enjoyed the whole story, feel free to buy me a ko-fi.. it'll greatly help me :')

See you all in the next update!

PS. I didn't mention the tag list cause maybe ya'll don't want to be tagged anymore hehehe if you do want to be tagged then please feel free to message me or comment :)

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons: Chapter 9

A fic in which Caleb buys a house with Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, learns to be a person, and fights to protect others from what happened to him.

Content warnings: Caleb's backstory, implied abuse, medical trauma

Chapter summary: The morning comes, and there are two boys who need Caleb's help.

Chaper notes: My writing is slowing a bit, and work is starting to pick up. Updates will probably be slower from now on. Chapter title is from Woodwork by Sleeping At Last

****

Chapter 9: The world reappears and it breaks us new

The morning was slow. Essek read as Caleb lay in bed for a while, taking stock of the aches in his body and the cracks in his psyche. Caduceus had healed most of his injuries, leaving him mostly with minor aches and pains that were no different than he had experienced on the road. And the help from Caduceus and Essek last night had meant he had been able to sleep. Not as much as he needed, really, but enough that he wasn’t going to burst into tears if someone looked at him funny.

He was as okay as he was going to be. He soaked in the last few moments of warmth in bed, and Essek’s hand scratching his scalp like he would a cat, before heaving himself up and getting ready for the day ahead. This one would be difficult, too.

They ate breakfast together on the floor of Nico’s room, conversing quietly. Caduceus had served grilled tomatoes with poached eggs, toast and fried mushrooms in a generous sauce of butter, mixed herbs Caleb couldn’t place, and a ton of garlic. Food was more appealing this morning, and Caleb was famished. He also had a headache, probably from dehydration, so Caduceus had brought him a huge glass of water.

“Caddy, you could be a professional cook,” Beauregard said through a mouthful of food.

“Swallow your food before talking,” Caduceus said, ignoring her comment aside from a small smirk.

She swallowed. “Whatever, man.”

Essek was eating carefully, like he was afraid to spill anything on the floor. “Do we know when your old friends are arriving, Caleb?”

“They didn’t give us an exact time,” said Beauregard. “So who the fuck knows?”

“No later than eleven,” said Caleb. “Possibly by ten. They said they would be here in the morning.”

“I mean, 11:59 is still technically morning.”

“Not for Volstrucker.”

Caleb watched the others as their shoulders tightened, jaws clenched, eyes burned with fury at the implications they read in Caleb’s soft tone. Before they collectively breathed out and went back to eating. It was an odd mix of comfort and sadness to see how strongly they were affected by what he, and by extension the Volstrucker, had been through. He felt okay enough in this moment that it didn’t break him.

Essek laid a hand on his knee. Silent comfort. And he was okay enough that that didn’t break him, either. Even as tired as he was.

He helped Caduceus wash the dishes afterwards, needing to do something with his hands while they waited. As they stacked the dried dishes and put them away, Caduceus spoke for the first time since they had begun.

“You look better.” Caduceus kept his voice neutral, as if making a casual observation. Caleb was grateful for that.

“I feel better. Thank you for last night.”

“Oh, psh.”

That was the extent of their discussion on the matter. Wulf and Astrid arrived shortly thereafter, moving stiffly with poorly-concealed pain. Caleb met them at the door. Astrid headed straight upstairs with barely a word, but Wulf lingered in the centre of the living room.

He watched Astrid’s departure with a tense quirk to the corner of his mouth. “So, we all agree yesterday was fucked up, right?”

“I am the last person to disagree, Wulf.”

His eyes slid to Caleb’s; his face was stern as it often was, but there was pain in his eyes that he probably wasn’t displaying by choice. “You all right?”

“As all right as I can be, I suppose.” It was true now; it hadn’t been last night. “You?”

“Hm.” His mouth twitched. Looked away. “Not my favourite memory to revisit.”

In the moment, there had been no time for hesitation. Caleb had needed to give directions and get shit done. And he had known Wulf was the best option to handle Nico in whatever state they found him in.

“I’m sorry,” Caleb said. “You had the best chance with him.”

“I know.” Wulf exhaled through his nose, rubbing his wrists and hands as all of them often did to work out the kinks of repeated spellwork. The three of them used to do it for each other. Now Caleb and Essek sometimes did. He wondered if Wulf and Astrid still did it. “For better or worse, I have experience.” He swallowed. “There were no good options. Didn’t like to watch you run into a burning building, either, but…” He looked away.

Caleb wasn’t sure what to say. They were still awkward with each other. It wasn’t that long ago that Wulf had quite literally stabbed him. And now Wulf had just spoken more to Caleb than he had in a very long time. He was still rubbing his hands, looking everywhere but Caleb, and the whole thing was extremely uncomfortable.

Caleb had been uncomfortable a lot in social situations, especially in the last year. He could take it. And he could easily either wait Wulf out or bait him into speaking whatever else was on his mind.

“Wulf.” Caleb found the right tone, the one he had once used to break Wulf down when he was having a bad day and wasn’t talking about it.

Wulf closed his eyes, his grimace becoming an irritated half-smile. “What?”

Caleb waited. Wulf looked at him, annoyed. Caleb smiled at him. Wulf looked away, swearing under his breath.

“Wulf,” Caleb said slowly, “what’s the matter?”

He crossed his arms (great forearms as always), shoulders hunched a little. And when he spoke, it was almost too quiet for Caleb to hear. “Can I have a hug?”

“Ja, of course.” Caleb would be lying if he said he’d expected that, but he certainly wasn’t going to turn Wulf down. They were both going through a lot right now, and despite the light stabbing, Caleb did still care a great deal for him.

Wulf didn’t move. Caleb waited a moment longer, until it was clear Wulf was not going to initiate. So he stepped forward and put his hands on Wulf’s shoulders until he looked at him.

“All right,” Caleb said. “Come here.” He slid his arms around him, and Wulf stepped forward, tentatively holding onto his waist. Wulf relaxed into the hug, folding downwards until his forehead met Caleb’s shoulder.

He breathed, and shuddered a little. Caleb held him tighter, and could feel the barest tremors surging through Wulf’s body. His hands spasmed on Caleb’s back.

When they finally separated, Wulf cleared his throat, straightened his coat and said, “Not one word. To anyone.”

“Don’t worry,” Caleb said wryly, “your reputation is safe.”

Wulf raised his eyebrow; it was attractive. “Cute.”

“Some things haven’t changed.”

The moment was taut, like stretched twine. Wulf chuckled. “Some things have.”

“Oh?”

There was a soft laugh from the stairs; Astrid had evidently doubled back. “Careful, Wulf. His drow boyfriend is upstairs.”

The tension snapped; Wulf stepped back, the ghost of laughter still on his lips. “Yeah, I don’t know how you seduced the Shadowhand of all people, but you were always really fucking charismatic.”

Caleb looked towards the stairs, past Astrid. “It was more complicated than that, but… here we are.” They had wasted enough time. “Let’s do this.”

The others were already assembled in Nico’s room, Caduceus carefully portioning out the correct amount of diamond dust. Essek was posted up in the corner by the door, while Beau and Yasha filled the space closer to the bed. Caleb positioned himself on the other side of the door from Essek. Wulf moved in to fill a gap near Beauregard, and Astrid moved closer to Caduceus. Nico knew her best, as far as Caleb could tell. It was a good spot to be.

Caduceus looked to Caleb. “Anything we should be prepared for?”

“Hard to say,” Caleb replied, reluctantly digging into his fragmented memories of his time like this. “He will be disoriented. Likely afraid. Have we taken all his spell components?”

“Everything we could find,” Beauregard replied. He did not like the uncertainty in her tone.

“Those of us who can counterspell should prepare,” said Caleb. “Just in case. Muscle, be ready to grab him. He might not…” He sighed. “My situation was different. I knew where I was. I knew I was in danger. He may be more confused than I was.” Caleb had been confused and disoriented, but the fear of recognising that he was in a room at the sanatorium had overridden all of that. Adrenaline had pushed him towards survival. He had no idea how Nico would react. But in an unfamiliar place, with mostly unfamiliar people, realising the memories that drove him to murder his parents were false?

It was going to be ugly.

“One moment,” said Essek. He pulled out a pearl and pressed it to Caleb’s forehead, casting Fortune’s Favour. He did the same for everyone except Caduceus and himself. He could, in theory, have cast it using a higher level slot to catch more people at once and save his pearls, but it would come at the cost of losing more powerful spells he may need later. Caleb had a stash of pearls in his study, and was already plotting to make Essek accept them. Then Essek situated himself at the door once again.

“Do you have Counterspell?” Caleb asked him, having never seen Essek cast it.

“I picked it up recently.”

“Good.” Caleb took a deep breath. “Ready, Caduceus?”

“Ready.” Caduceus began to cast, reaching out to touch Nico’s forehead. He closed his eyes, brow furrowed, and Caleb was concerned what effect this may have on him. Then there was a bright light and the diamond dust vanished from his hand. Caduceus pulled back.

All eyes on Nico. The boy squeezed his eyes shut, groaning. Then he sat up, eyes darting around the room, pausing on Astrid for a second, and Wulf. And then a gasp. His hands were moving.

Caleb counterspelled. It didn’t take. He burned his mote. It didn’t take. There was a split second where his mind slowed time and he watched every other caster try to unravel Nico’s spell. And fail.

A huge roar. A burst of light and heat. Caleb’s head cracked against something solid and his vision went dark.

Then hands were on him, and he was awake. Caduceus pulled him to his feet, and rushed over to Essek, who was curled up in pain but conscious, casting Ray of Frost at flames licking the walls.

The others had already made it to their feet. Nico was nowhere to be found.

Astrid shook her head like a dog shaking off water. “We need to move.”

“We’ll stay here and handle the fire,” Caduceus said, helping Essek to his feet.

The rest of them were out the door in seconds, Beau and Yasha in the lead because they were fast as fuck. They spilled out into the street.

“Bren,” said Astrid, “thoughts?”

“Check all routes out of the city. I’ll message the Cobalt Soul. You message any Volstrucker who may help.”

“We’ll link up with the monks,” said Beauregard, grabbing Yasha’s hand and rushing south towards the Court of Colours.

Caleb had an idea. “Wulf, would you like to be a giant eagle?”

“Do it.”

Caleb grabbed his cocoon and cast. Wulf’s form shifted into a huge eagle, and he took to the air, almost buffeting Caleb off his feet.

Astrid tugged Caleb northward. “I suspect he knows the northern areas better.”

“Right.” Caleb pulled out his copper wire. “High Curator, Nicolaus has been restored, but he fled. Beauregard is on her way to ask your aid.”

“We will mobilise the monks. Thank you for the warning.”

Astrid had shot a quick message to one of the Volstrucker. Caleb spotted a Crownsguard on the nearest street corner.

“Excuse me!”

The guard took them in, taking special note of Astrid. “Uh, yes? How can I help?”

“Have you seen a young man with dark hair, no coat or shoes, come through this area?”

“I don’t believe so, no.”

“If you do,” said Astrid, “do not engage.”

“Is he a threat, Archmage?”

“He is a frightened young man,” said Caleb. “He is not a threat if he is not threatened.”

“Get the word out,” said Astrid. “If I hear he has been harmed, there will be consequences.”

Caleb pointed to the giant eagle overhead. “Oh, and he’s with us.”

Then Caleb and Astrid ran further north, towards the market. Caleb was already doubting himself; maybe looping in the Crownsguard had been a mistake. And Caleb had used his one concentration spell to turn Wulf into an eagle, so there was precious little he could do magically from here.

“Caleb,” came Essek’s voice. “Caduceus communed with his god. The boy has a spellcasting focus. He is moving north. That is all we know. Good luck.”

“Thank you. Stay safe.” Caleb looked to Astrid. “Nico has a spellcasting focus and is moving north.” He then passed the information to Beauregard with another Sending. And one to Wulf; he recalled somewhat understanding Common while in giant eagle form himself. Astrid Sent to her Volstrucker contact.

“The Volstrucker are mobilising to reach the gates,” she told him.

“What are Nico’s favourite spells?” Without his spellbook, the boy would be limited in his casting. “Aside from Fireball.”

“Mostly Evocation spells,” said Astrid. They were reaching a crowd at the market, which was going to be a problem. She grabbed Caleb’s hand, pulling him along, both their heads on a swivel. “He’s a firebug like you.”

“Any illusions we should worry about?”

“Disguise Self, most likely. I don’t know if he had it prepared.”

“I guess we will have to watch for body language as well.” This was a fucking mess. All this preparation, and they’d managed to lose the boy anyway. If he had managed to disguise himself, it would have been a simple task to move through the market unnoticed.

“Caduceus is attempting to scry,” said Essek. “I will update you.”

“Danke schön. We are in the market. Volstrucker are moving ahead. He may have disguised himself.”

The market was just walls of sound and people and distraction everywhere. If Nico were were, they weren’t going to find him. So they pushed ahead onto the other side, catching their breath.

“I’m starting to think this is a fool’s errand,” Astrid muttered, pressing a palm to her ribs.

“Are you hurt?”

“No more than you.”

There wasn’t time to argue the matter. “Do you have Invisibility prepared today? Or Fly? I have to keep Wulf in the air.”

“I have Trent’s boots today. I can turn you invisible, or help you Fly.”

“Flight may be best. We do not want to lose track of each other.”

Astrid cast the spell and activated her boots, sending them both into the air. They soared to the nearest rooftop and landed, watching the market with a better vantage point.

“We should move ahead,” said Caleb. “If he’s still here, we won’t see him in the market.” They flew further north, dimly aware that children were pointing at them. So much for keeping this quiet; Ludinus would no doubt hear about this. And be a pain in the ass.

They paused on another rooftop; the northeastern gates were visible from here. Caleb’s heart sank further with each passing second.

“The scry went through but he cannot see much. The boy is disguised; a half-elf girl with red hair and freckles. Dressed as a barmaid.” Essek cast the spell again. “Not much detail around him. There are stones, but also dirt. He’s running now.”

“He may be outside the city. Thank you.” Caleb pushed off the roof, trusting Astrid to follow. He Sent to Beauregard. “Caduceus scried. Nico’s disguised as a red-haired half-elf barmaid. I think he’s outside the city. He’s running.”

Beauregard’s response began with a drawn-grown. “Motherfucker. We’ll head out the southeast gate and curve north.”

Astrid had also Sent to her Volstrucker contact. They flew for as long as the spell lasted, touching down close to the city gates. The Righteous Brand soldiers guarding the gate watched them curiously as they ran past, but made no move to stop them. Astrid’s authority was saving them a lot of grief today.

They searched the road, the fields. But it became more and more evident that Nico had evaded them. Eadwulf touched down beside them as the spell ended and he was human again. Caleb leaned against a fencepost, willing himself not to crack.

“We should regroup,” said Astrid. “Your place, Bren?”

He nodded. Took a deep breath. Started walking. He Sent one last message to Beauregard. She and Yasha linked up with them near the gate. They walked back to the house together.

****

Caleb was used to feeling like a failure. But this one hurt more than most. The group sat in Beau and Yasha’s living room, drinking tea Caduceus had made.

“Caleb, you’ve got the most experience here,” said Beauregard. “What’s the kid thinking?”

The answer was simple. “Get out.”

“Where would you have gone?”

“The nearest woods,” said Caleb. “For me, that was the Pearlbow Wilderness. He may try to head there. Lots of cover, places to hide, few people.”

“I can scry on him again,” said Caduceus.

“Go ahead.”

Caduceus set his teacup aside and closed his eyes, concentrating. It would take a few minutes.

“I will have the Volstrucker search the area,” said Astrid. “If the scry works, we will have an easier time.”

“I’ll see if we can spare a few monks to back you up,” replied Beauregard.

“He won’t go near Vergesson,” said Wulf.

“No,” Caleb agreed. The thought of the boy coming anywhere near that place made him physically ill. “He will lay low for a bit, and then probably go looking for a small town on the edge of civilization. Somewhere no one would expect to find a wizard. He has fire for warmth, evidently, but food and water will be an issue.”

“Think he could survive in the woods?” asked Beauregard.

“Probably.” Caleb had.

“We’ll find him,” Essek said quietly. He was not a man given to empty platitudes.

“I hope so.”

The energy in the room was almost depleted. The group sat there, deflated, while Caduceus worked through his ritual. At the point, by Caleb’s count, that the spell should have connected, Caduceus jolted and opened his eyes. He shook his head.

“He resisted. I can try again tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Caleb hadn’t meant to speak. It was… this hurt. A lot.

Caduceus scanned the group. “Who needs healing?”

Everyone, really. Astrid and Wulf grudgingly accepted the assistance, and were unable to hide how much they visibly relaxed in relief.

“Bren, meet me in my office,” said Astrid. “I will mobilise the Volstrucker in the meantime.”

“I’ll talk to the monks,” said Beauregard.

****

Caleb took a few minutes to himself before walking to the Academy. Just a moment to sit in his study, count and sort the various inkwells he now owned, and breathe. The others let him have that time.

Then, he headed out with a purpose. Astrid was already settled behind her desk when he arrived.

“The Volstrucker are organising for a search pattern,” she said, waving at him to sit at a seat in front of the desk. She had switched to Zemnian the instant they were alone. “It’s out of our hands at this point. We have another matter to discuss.”

“Felix.” Caleb sighed, and almost felt like was going to collapse the floor with the force of it. At least the chair caught him. “He needs to go home. And we need to tell him the whole story of what happened with Nico. I can teach him Sending. If Felix is up to it, a familiar voice might help.”

“I agree,” said Astrid. “We also have to explain the situation to Felix’s parents. That will be challenging.”

Caleb tried to imagine how his own parents would have reacted if they had learned their own son was ordered to kill them, and intended to do it. He was not strong enough to follow through on that thought experiment. Not today. Maybe not ever.

“We need to put him back in school when he’s ready,” Caleb said. “He will stew in this if we let him.”

“If you would like to convince his parents, be my guest.”

“That may be a conversation for another day. How much does Felix know about what happened with Nico?”

“That Nico followed through on the order, but we are taking care of him.”

“And now we have to tell him we fucked up. Again.”

Astrid laced her fingers together and rested her chin on them. “No. We prepared best we could. He was searched as much as your friends could without invading his privacy. We were ready with counterspells. But fear is a powerful motivator. You know that.”

Caleb had rolled out of bed and overpowered one of Ikithon’s guards. An important one, given he had an amulet. And, of course, Essek had once dragged him from under a tower with his bare hands. People could stretch themselves past their usual limits if under enough duress. Trent had operated under that philosophy.

“Bren,” Astrid said, quiet but firm. “I know this is a lot, but I need you to hold it together.”

Caleb breathed, and steadied himself. “I can do that.”

“I know.” She reclined in her seat, casting around her copper wire. “Felix, do you mind if Bren and I pay you a visit? We have news.” She listened. “All right. Let’s go.”

They walked the familiar path to the dormitories. Caleb had been so proud to walk these halls once. Maybe he could be again, but it would never be the same.

They found Felix in his temporary room, seated at a wooden desk with his spellbook, glaring at the pages. He tore his eyes away as they entered, slamming it shut.

“How’s Nico?”

Astrid looked at Caleb for three seconds. “Felix, do you remember what Trent told you about Bren?”

“He said a lot of things,” Felix said warily.

“Nicolaus and I had similar responses to following Trent’s orders,” said Caleb. “We took him to my house to keep him away from the Assembly and let him rest overnight. This morning, my friend Caduceus restored him.”

“He fled, despite our best efforts,” said Astrid. “We have people out searching for him.”

Felix still had his hand on his textbook, slowly sliding downward as his grip slackened. “I don’t understand. What happened?”

“When Nicolaus killed his parents, he had a… break.” Caleb was not good at explaining this. “He was awake, but unresponsive. Caduceus had a spell to pull him out of it, but coming back from that is disorienting. Despite the steps we took to prepare, he hit us with a fireball and escaped while we recovered.” Gods, Nico was probably injured, and without a healer.

Felix burst from seat. “And? Did you go after him?”

“Yes, of course,” said Astrid. “We searched from the ground and the air. And we have leads, and people are still following them. I have mobilised the Volstrucker and Bren’s expositor friend has mobilised the Cobalt Soul. We are not easy people to find when we do not want to be found, but we will keep searching. Bren had an idea, if you would like to help.”

Felix looked at her like she had slapped him. “Of course I want to help!”

Caleb paid his agitation no mind. “We floated the idea of teaching you the Sending spell yesterday. We did not have time then, but we have it now. Then, you can talk to him.”

“Okay. Teach me.”

“Here? Or would you rather we bring you home first?”

Felix laughed, and it was more unhinged than Caleb would have liked. “Yeah, okay, take me back to the people I almost fucking murdered.”

Astrid crossed her arms, gazing sternly up at him. “Felix.”

“It’s all right, Astrid,” said Caleb. “This will take a few hours. Let’s make use of those Academy resources, ja?” Most dormitory rooms had a supply of paper and ink, enough to transcribe a few spells at a time. He found a stash in the desk and sat on the floor, laying it all out in front of him. He beckoned to Felix. “Shall we?”

Felix scrubbed at his eyes and sat down with Caleb, slamming his spellbook onto the wooden boards. Astrid retreated, with some excuse about keeping an eye out for the Martinet, and a promise she would get the kitchen staff to send them a snack.

Caleb had lost a lot of his confidence around people a long time ago, but he knew pain when he saw it. He knew a little something about pain.

And a little something about hurt wizards looking desperately for a distraction by throwing themselves into study.

[namjoontunes]

Lost and Found, Chapter Thirteen

BTS Members x Reader

Genre: Fantasy AU, Fluff, Minor Angst

Warning: Blood, injury

Word Count: 5.8k

Author’s Notes: I was gonna try to wrap this arc up in this chapter but I really liked the way this one ended, so hopefully after next chapter we’ll be moving on! 

AO3

Previous || Next

Prologue || Most Recent

———————————————————————————

She was surrounded by darkness. Cold, ominous darkness that seemed to press into her with a weight of its own. 

Although she could not see, she knew she was not alone. Without warning, the sounds of snarling wolves began surrounding her on all sides. No matter which way she ran they were always right next to her. She felt sharp teeth dig into her calf and she careened face first into the dirt as one of the wolves violently yanked her leg out from beneath her. As she tried to get back to her feet, the wolves nipping and shoving at her body making it much more difficult, a bright white light appeared about ten feet in front of her. Relief washed over her, and she rushed as fast as she could over to it. As she got closer, she saw that it was a shimmering orb, about one foot in diameter. Eagerly she reached out towards it, watching as it’s bright light began to travel up her arm. She watched it with fascination for a few moments, when suddenly a burning sensation began to grow where the light was touching her. Immediately she pulled back, but it was too late. She was burning now, her face burning, her body burning, inside and out until it felt like the whole world was on fire.

And just like that Y/n was awake, though the burning sensation did not leave her. She felt a presence laying beside her, but her eyes would not allow themselves to open. And so she was forced to remain in the dark, her body still steadily burning. 

At least the wolves were gone. 

She wasn't sure how long she lay there before she heard footsteps approaching. 

"Any changes?" The voice that had just arrived asked. She could've sworn she knew them, but the fire crawling throughout her skin made it difficult to focus.

"I think she was having another nightmare, she was whimpering a lot." The presence beside her responded. Was she in a bed with them? Or maybe on a couch?

Suddenly something cold was laid across her forehead, and the relief it brought was instantaneous. The untouched parts of her face still stung but the burning in the rest of her body allowed itself to lessen. 

"You put it too low, the water's gonna drip into her eyes again." The person beside her shifted around and she felt the cold on her forehead being moved. 

"Jungkook for the last time it helps soothe the burns on her eyelids when the water drips, quit moving it around," The outside voice chastised. The coolness of what she assumed was a wet washcloth made it easier for her to think. Was that Hobi's voice?

"How come you can't heal her more anyways?" Jungkook asked, repositioning the washcloth yet again. 

"Well my magic mostly works by helping her body heal itself," Hobi explained, "but she's so weak right now I  have to focus on keeping her stable."

"Why don't we take her to a real doctor then? Couldn’t they fix her?"

"They wouldn't be doing much different than what I am right now, and I think she would prefer to stay home."

Jungkook paused for a moment, his fingers ever so gently touching the side of her face. "Do you think she's in pain?" 

The silence that filled the room seemed to answer his question, and he continued. "If they had just-"

"Enough, Jungkook. Arguing about it isn't going to change what happened, okay? He's gonna tell her when she's better, but just leave it alone for now." Hobi sounded tired, and Y/n felt worry filling her chest. What had she missed while she was out?

Jungkook's only response was to move closer to her, wrapping an arm protectively around her waist. Hobi sighed, and she heard his footsteps fade into the distance once more. Y/n felt the washcloth being adjusted again, and then she slipped back into unconsciousness. 

———————————————————————————

The next time she woke, the fire in her body had subsided. She still felt unseasonably warm and utterly exhausted, but it was not nearly as bad as it was last time. Someone was in the bed with her again, talking to another person in the room. 

"You know she's not in a coma right? You don't have to read to her." It sounded like Jungkook was still next to her, and she wondered how much time had passed since she was last conscious. 

"And you don't have to stay in the same bed as her the whole time, but here we are,” replied the other voice. Was it Jimin this time? Even without the incessant burning, the exhaustion made thinking difficult. 

"I'm watching over her," Jungkook stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, you've made that pretty clear." Jimin said, sounding a little annoyed. "Speaking of, when are you gonna let them visit her?"

"Is never an option?"

Jimin sighed. "You know how bad they feel about what happened Kookie, you can't keep blaming them."

"Well when she's no longer in pain because of what Namjoon did and what Tae didn't do, then I'll let her decide if she wants to be around them."

"Jungkook-"

"If Tae had done a better job protecting her she wouldn't be in such a bad state!" Jungkook had sat up now,  clearly agitated. "If he can't be trusted to keep her safe then I'll have to do it myself."

Jimin fell silent. A few moments passed, and she felt his hand brush a strand of hair out of her face, coming to a rest on her forehead. His touch stung, but she didn’t have the energy to flinch away. 

“I think her fever broke, she doesn’t feel nearly as hot as she did yesterday,” he said, quieter now.

“...yeah. I’ve been keeping an eye on it,” Jungkook responded. “Do you think she might wake up soon?”

“Let’s hope so,” Jimin replied. He picked up his book and began reading as Jungkook settled back down beside her, and Y/n found herself drifting back into sleep as she tried to piece together what everyone was so upset about.

———————————————————————————

When she woke up again, the space beside her was empty. She listened for a moment to see if anyone was in the room with her, but detected no voices or movement. Forcing her eyes open, she looked around the room. It was dark, but she could make out potted plants neatly lined on a windowsill that still had the curtains drawn-back, and she figured she must be in Jin’s bed.

The other times she had woken up, there had always been at least one person in the room with her, so the sudden silence sat uneasily in her stomach. Gathering all her energy, she pushed herself into a sitting position. The dizziness that washed over her was almost enough to send her back into unconsciousness, but she pushed through it. She paused for a moment to let her head settle before looking around the room again. 

From her new vantage point she could see a dark shape of Hobi lying in his bed, sound asleep. His wings were sprawled out behind him, glimmering in the moonlight like a fresh blanket of snow. Seeing him there eased some of her worries, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to rest easily until she knew everyone was okay.

Giving herself till the count of three, she swung her legs off the bed as her muscles screamed in protest. Her body wanted nothing more than for her to lay back down and sleep for another month, but she stubbornly ignored it. Slowly, but surely, she stood up. The whole world seemed to shift and sway around her as she began to take unsteady steps towards the hallway.

She leaned heavily against the doorframe as soon as she arrived at that milestone. Her hair, unwashed and tangled, had fallen in front of her eyes during her expedition, and she pushed it out of her face with annoyance. As her fingers skimmed her cheek however, pain shot through her skin. She flinched back reflexively, wondering what had happened to cause such injuries. Delicately she explored her skin with her fingertips, and found it unusually rough and generating an abnormal amount of heat. Were those burn marks all over her face?

Uneasily she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind, and began to move down the hallway. She had to know that they were safe, especially since there was clearly a lot of tension between everybody right now. She found herself wondering if she was to blame for the state of things as she made her way towards a light in the living room. It was slow going, and she had to lean the majority of her body weight against the wall, but she was making progress. 

As she passed the bathrooms, she noticed that one of the doors was cracked open. Pausing for a moment, she listened intently to see if anyone was inside, and was surprised to hear the sound of soft snores coming from inside. The thought of someone asleep on the toilet made her smile, and decided to let them be as she continued her trek towards the living room.

Eventually she arrived at the edge of the hallway. She could see Jin and Namjoon talking in hushed tones, and felt relief wash over her. Being unsure if her loved ones were okay hurt more than any of the physical pain she had endured, and she was glad to see that at least the majority of her family had been accounted for since she first woke up. She took another step forward, leaving the support of the wall on unsteady feet as she tried to speak. At first nothing came out, but when she tried again she managed to croak out a few words.

“You’re both okay…” she said, her voice rough from disuse.

Instantly the two boys looked up at her, eyes wide. Before she knew it Jin was in front of her, checking her over for any new injuries. Namjoon however remained still as stone on the couch, looking as if he was staring at a ghost.

“Y/n what are you doing out of bed!” Jin exclaimed. “Jungkook was supposed to be watching you.”

“I needed-” she stopped to clear her throat, “I needed to make sure everyone was okay…”

Jin’s expression softened, and he placed a hand gingerly on her head. “We’re all okay Y/n, we’ve all just been worried about you.”

“Tae is okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, Tae's fine. We found him not long after you collapsed and got you both home straight away.” He answered.

"I'm really glad…" she said, smiling softly. Her mission finally completed, she felt her legs buckle underneath her, and she collapsed into Jin’s arms. 

"Easy now,” Jin cooed as he caught her. “Let’s get you back into bed, Y/n.”

Effortlessly he scooped her up bridal style, and began carrying her down the hallway. As they passed the bathroom, Y/n piped up. “I think Jungkook’s asleep in the bathroom, I heard snoring coming from inside as I walked by.”

Jin laughed softly, making Y/n smile. “Of course he is. In his defense, he hasn’t been sleeping well. He’s too insistent that he has to keep an eye on you at all times.”

“Don’t tell him I got out of bed… I don’t want him to think he has to push himself even more to make sure I’m always being watched,” Y/n worried.

“Alright, I won’t tell him anything, as long as you tell him to get more rest the next time you talk to him,” Jin reassured.

“Deal.”

They arrived back in Jin’s room, and he gingerly set her down back onto the bed.

“Hey Jin?”

“Yeah?” he replied, covering her with a blanket.

"Everytime I wake up everyone seems to be arguing… is that because of me?"

Jin looked at her sympathetically. "It’s not your fault, Y/n. Tensions have been a little high but that’s just because we want you to get better, and we were scared that you got so hurt. This will all blow over in no time, you just need to focus on recovering, okay?"

She was silent for a few more moments. "I’ve never transformed like that before… I was just so scared Tae was gonna get hurt…"

"I know, sweetheart," Jin reassured, taking her hand within his own. "You did what you could to protect someone you love. We all understand that."

"I was so scared…" she murmured. As she drifted back into sleep, she thought about how nice it felt to hold his hand.

———————————————————————————

Sunlight filtered into the room the next morning, and Y/n woke up to the sound of someone singing. The voice was quiet yet effortlessly beautiful, and as she opened her eyes she saw Jungkook next to her once more. He hadn't noticed her wake yet, still absently tracing shapes onto the back of her hand as he sang. 

She stayed still for a few minutes,  basking in the sound of his voice. She had heard him sing before, but this one felt different. It was soft, and intimate, much like the feeling of someone caressing your cheek. She couldn't make out the lyrics, but it sounded like some sort of lullaby. Or maybe a love song?

Eventually she decided she should let him know that she was awake now,  and she turned her hand over to intertwine their fingers. Immediately he looked up at her in surprise, and as he saw her open eyes staring back at him he broke out into a huge grin.

"Y/n!" He exclaimed, practically jumping on top of her so he could wrap his arms around her. "You're finally awake I've been so worried I missed you so much!!!!!"

She giggled as the dragon boy nuzzled into her neck, a deep rumble emanating from his chest. She never knew that dragons could purr. "I'd say I missed you too Kookie but you were always right next to me whenever I woke up!"

"Well I had to watch over you and make sure you were okay," he explained, his breath warm against her skin. 

"I know," she smiled. "It was nice always knowing you were right there if I needed anything. How long was I out anyways?"

"Two full days, today would've been the third morning that you didn't wake up."

She was silent for a few moments, "I'm sorry if I scared you guys…"

Jungkook lifted his head to stare at her seriously. "You should be!" He scolded. "You're not allowed to ever get hurt or sick again, okay? You have to stay safe for all our sakes or I'll have to handcuff us together so I can always be there to protect you."

Y/n giggled at the thought. "Okay, I'll be more careful from now on," she promised. 

Jungkook settled his face back into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. They sat in silence, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped in each other’s arms, Y/n running her hand along his back. After all the pain and uncertainty in the last few days, it was nice to be held and to know she was safe now.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, breaking the stillness in the room.

Y/n hesitated, wondering how much to tell him. The fever was finally gone, but her body felt like it was filled with rocks. Not to mention the stinging in her face whenever she so much as raised her eyebrows. 

“Well, it’s way better than when I first was conscious, so that’s good! I’m mostly just really tired,” she admitted with a sigh.

“Then go back to bed! You still need more rest so you can recover” Jungkook chastised.

“Nooooo,” she whined, pulling him even closer to her. “I’ve already slept for two whole days, I want to spend some time with my Kookie before I sleep more!"

Even without seeing his face, she could feel him grin against her skin as his purring got louder. "I guess that's an acceptable excuse," he said, trying to hide his delight.  

"Did I miss anything while I was asleep?" She asked. 

"...No, we were just waiting for you to wake up," he answered, unconvincingly. 

"Jungkook…"

Before she could press him further, she heard footsteps approaching down the hall. As she turned to look, Jimin appeared in the doorway, holding a tray with two plates of chocolate chip pancakes and two glasses of juice.

"Y/n!!!!" He exclaimed, quickly setting down the tray and rushing over to her side. "How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Are you in pain? Should I go get Hobi?"

She paused for a moment, trying to comprehend his barrage of questions. "Uhhh I'm okay, yeah I could use some food, the pain is manageable, and you don't need to bug him."

Before she even finished what she was saying Jimin was busy collecting all the pillows from Hobi's bed. "Are you able to sit up?"

"Yeah, I got it," Y/n assured. "Kookie, you're gonna have to move though."

The dragon boy sat up with a slight pout, giving Jimin a dirty look for interrupting their cuddling session. They watched with concern as she slowly but surely pushed herself into a sitting position. As much as she tried to hide it, the pain it caused was clear on her face. When she was finally up, Jimin placed the extra pillows behind her so she could lean back and still eat. 

"Here, we still had some pancakes from the other day," Jimin said, placing the tray on her lap. "I brought some for me and Jungkook but since you're up you can have my share!"

"Nonsense!" She asserted. "There are six pancakes so we can all have two!"

Jimin began to protest but she was already distributing the pancakes, leaving the two for her on the tray and handing Jimin and Jungkook their plates. "Now we can all enjoy the pancakes together!"

"What about utensi-" Jungkook started, but stopped with a giggle as he saw Y/n already scarfing down the pancake with her hands. It had been a while since she had properly eaten, so he didn't blame her. When they were done, Jimin brought the dishes out to the kitchen and then clambered into the bed with Y/n, much to Jungkook's annoyance. 

"There's not enough room Jimin," the dragon complained.

"Well maybe if you moved over more there would be," Y/n pointed out with a giggle. With an overly dramatic sigh Jungkook scooched over and soon Y/n was surrounded by snuggles on all sides, much to her delight. 

"Where's everyone else?" She asked, as Jungkook buried his face in the crook of her neck once more. 

"Hobi is sunning himself on the roof, and everyone else is working," Jimin answered, intertwining his fingers with hers.

She hummed in acknowledgement, and a comfortable silence fell on the three of them. Unfortunately, as much as Y/n wanted to stay awake to spend time with her family, the warm embrace of sleep called to her, and soon she found herself slipping away once again. 

———————————————————————————

When she finally woke, it was beginning to get dark. She mentally cursed herself for falling asleep again, and sighed as she stared up at the ceiling. Jungkook was gone again, but she could hear the sounds of conversation coming from down the hall. It seemed like she had woken up while they were eating dinner.

Before she could force herself up out of bed, the door to the room creaked open and someone slipped inside. She had closed her eyes to shield them from the sudden bright light from the hallway, but she recognized Yoongi's voice as he approached the side of the bed. 

"I know you're asleep," he whispered, "but I saw this on my way home from work and… well I thought you might like it."

She felt him place something on the bed next to her. It seemed like some sort of plushie, but she couldn't tell what it was for sure without opening her eyes. Either way, he seemed to think she was still asleep, and she was curious to see if he too would say more than when she was awake. 

Sure enough, she sensed him hesitate for a moment, as if he was contemplating what to do next. Just as she was considering saying something, she felt him lean forwards, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Get better soon," he whispered, adjusting the blanket on top of her. 

"Thank you, Yoongi," she whispered back, smiling up at him as his eyes finally adjusted to the light in the room. 

"I didn't- I wasn't- I was just checking your fever," he stuttered. Even in the dim light, she could see how flustered he was. 

"Mmm of course you were, because you're supposed to feel the top of my head instead of my forehead," she teased. 

"Well you- I didn't want to hurt your burns," he defended. "It doesn't matter anyways it was stupid enjoy your Stitch plushie."

"Wait Yoongi!" She called out, and he stopped with his hand on the door. "It was sweet, thank you, really. For the plushie and the get better kiss"

Although still clearly embarrassed, she saw his body relax. "It's no problem," he mumbled. 

There was a brief pause, and then it was her turn to be embarrassed. "Um, since you're here though, do you think you could help me to the bathroom?"

He laughed, and returned to the bed so he could scoop her up in his arms.

"I can walk you know," she pouted. "I just need a little help."

"Well you can walk yourself out of the bathroom then," he told her, amused. As they arrived at the bathroom, Yoongi gingerly placed her so she was standing, making sure she was steady before removing his hands.

"I'll uh, wait outside. Yell if you need anything." And just like that he was gone, the door shut between them. 

When she was done, she shuffled her way back to the hallway. As she opened the door, Yoongi held out his arm for her to steady herself on, and she gave him a grateful smile as she grabbed on. 

"Do you want to go say hi to everyone or go back to bed?” He asked.

“I wanna go say hi!” she said cheerfully.

Slowly they made their way back down the hallway, Yoongi matching the pace Y/n set. As they drew closer, she could smell the tantalizing scent of Jin’s homemade hamburgers wafting down the hallway. Her stomach growled in response, much to her embarrassment, and she heard Yoongi chuckle beside her.

“I guess we should get some more food in you since you’re up,” he suggested, eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Don’t tease me! I’ve been asleep for so long it’s a miracle I haven’t wasted away,” she pouted.

“I wasn’t trying to-”

Before he could finish what he was saying, Taehyung appeared around the corner. Even though she had been reassured that he was okay, she was almost overwhelmed with relief to actually see it in person. And it was clear to see that he felt the same way. As soon as he caught sight of her, she saw tears fill his eyes as he rushed to envelop her in his arms.

“Y/n I’m so sorry I should’ve stayed awake I shouldn’t have left you alone I didn’t even think that something like that was going to happen I’m so sorry it’s all my fault.” His voice cracked as he babbled, and she could feel his tears drip onto her shoulder.

“No Tae please don’t blame yourself,” she begged, feeling her own eyes fill with tears in response, “it’s my fault I got hurt, I just got so scared and lost control, there’s nothing you could’ve done differently.”

“But if I had only-”

“I think Tae has a point,” Jungkook interrupted, appearing behind Taehyung and circling around Y/n so he could wrap his arms around her waist protectively.

“Jungkook, we’ve been over this,” Yoongi warned, giving the dragon an annoyed look. “It was an accident, and blaming each other is only going to cause more in-fighting. Let it go.”

Y/n turned to look up at Jungkook in shock. “You’ve been fighting with Tae? Because of me?”

“Only because he didn’t do a good job protecting you,” he defended, but as Y/n stared up at him with tears still in her eyes, he felt his conviction wavering.

“I don’t ever want you guys to fight, especially not because of me,” Y/n pleaded. “You guys were such good friends, and I want you to all be happy. Please don’t be mad at him anymore Kookie, he did everything he could.”

Jungkook sighed, trying to look anywhere but her pleading eyes. “I guess I could try to forgive him, for your sake,” he grumbled, punctuating his words with a kiss to her cheek. Even though his kiss stung a bit, Y/n still felt her cheeks heat up in response. As she looked away bashfully, she didn’t see the smug smirk the dragon boy shot at Tae. 

“Come on Y/n, let’s go get you some food,” Yoongi intervened, prying the girl from between the other two. 

———————————————————————————

Her recovery was slow, but steady. During her first night properly awake she ate four hamburgers and then fell asleep on top of her fifth, much to the amusement of the rest of the family. Jungkook stayed home with her every day, barely leaving her side, and for the first couple of days she had healing sessions with Hobi every night. However she quickly realized how much of a toll the constant healing was taking on the angel, and refused to let him treat her anymore, stating that the burns would heal fine on their own. The boys tried to argue with her on this, but at this point it was doing more harm to Hobi than it was good to her, and she refused to budge on the matter.

At some point she was moved to Jungkook's bed so Jin’s back could have a break from the uneven surface of the couch, and the dragon moved to sleeping in the living room instead. She had tried to protest, arguing that they could at least share the bed, but the other boys seemed pretty against that particular idea. 

During this time, Namjoon barely spoke to her. He didn't outright ignore her, but he kept all his answers short and never initiated the conversation. This change in attitude left her feeling hurt and confused. Was he really that scared of her now? Whenever she pressed the others on the issue, they gave her dismissive answers and changed the subject, which frustrated her even further. She would rather be upfront about the problem than continue pretending there wasn't one. 

It weighed heavily on her mind day in and day out, and she found herself on the back porch one night,  contemplating what to do when she heard the door open behind her. 

"Y/n… what are you doing out here?" It was Namjoon, looking just as wary as he did everytime he looked at her lately. 

"Oh, you're finally talking to me again?" She snapped, and she winced at how aggressively it had come out. "...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that."

"No, I'm the one who should be apologizing," he said, coming over to stand next to her by the railing. "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you, I just… well I was scared of having this conversation…"

The sounds of the forest filled the silence between them as both considered their next words carefully. 

"I've spent a lot of my life being scared," Y/n admitted, staring intently into the dark treeline. "So I never really learned what to do if I end up becoming something to be afraid of." She sighed, letting her head drop so she was looking at the ground. "I don't ever want to leave you guys, but, if this is a problem we can't overcome, I'll bow out. You shouldn't have to live in fear, and you were here first, so if I need to I'll… I'll…"

Namjoon looked up at her in surprise. Tears were beginning to spill down her face, and she covered her mouth in an attempt to contain the sobs bubbling up from her chest. Had she really gotten the situation so backwards? For a moment he hesitated, unsure if his touch would be a welcome one, but the sight of her crying was too much not to wrap his arms around her.

"Oh Y/n, that's not it at all," he whispered, stroking her hair as he held her.

"What is it then, Namjoon?" She asked, untangling herself from his arms and taking a step back. "For weeks now you've barely spoken to me, barely even looked at me. Do you know how much that hurts? I just want to know what's wrong so we can fix this and be friends again. I miss you. I miss your hugs, and the way your ears twitch when you're dreaming, and the face you make when you break something. But even when you're standing right next to me, it feels like you're a million miles away. So just tell me how to fix this so things can go back to normal. Please Namjoon..."

Namjoon opened his mouth, and then let it fall shut. The cicadas cried out as the night breeze swirled around them, and Y/n waited for his answer. Without a word, he reached into his back pocket, and handed her a small gift box. It was white with a navy ribbon around it, and she looked at him in confusion as she opened it. 

"A knife?" She asked. "I don't understand…" The present glinted in the moonlight as she examined it, the soft glow highlighting it's lethal edge.

"A silver knife."

Immediately she slammed the box shut, staring at him in horror. "Namjoon where did you get this?! This is so dangerous to even have around you, why would you give this to me?!"

"I wanted to make sure you felt safe," he explained, unable to meet her eyes. 

"Namjoon, I still don't understand..."

"It was me in the woods when you were protecting Tae, and it was me when you were attacked three months ago. I’m the wolf who almost killed you."

His words hung in the air between them, heavy and irreversible, like the result of a mirror's first introduction to a hammer. She stared at him wordlessly as memories swarmed her mind. The shock of vicious teeth burying themselves into her flesh, blood soaking into the dirt, a struggle ensues. As she runs her leg dangles uselessly, and as she stops fear consumes her endlessly. The pain is near unbearable, but the fear is worse. Every breath and every broken twig and every stray scent are predators one step behind her, eager to finish her off for good. She can't slow down or relax, too aware that each breath may very well be her last.

But even when she is safe, when the pain has been eased, the fear remains, and the second she lets her guard down she is reminded why. The danger is always breathing down her neck, running only delays the inevitable and taking a stand leaves her burned and broken. 

Just for a heartbeat, she considers opening the box. 

But as the wave of memories subsides, she sees Namjoon in front of her. He still can't meet her eyes, his ears flat against his head. Those ears…

No, she had to keep those two beings separated in her head. If Namjoon had wanted to kill her, he had plenty of opportunities. This was one of her dearest friends, someone with whom she had swapped secrets and comforts back and forth like pokemon cards. This was the man who lost his wallet four times in the same store, someone who constantly asked for help finding something that was in his hands, the only being capable of breaking a Nokia. But he always held her with a gentle reverence, as if she were a glass sculpture, beautiful and fragile, and he was always there for her when she needed him.

"How… did it happen? I thought you usually didn't hunt. " She was clearly hesitant, but she hadn't run just yet. It was a start. 

"Time got away from us, and the full moon arrived before I could prepare," he admitted. "I can remember a strong hunger, and then I remember blood, and then pain, and the last thing I remember was watching a deer run away…”

She was silent, and he continued. “Y/n… you have to know how sorry I am for what happened. I was going to tell you but… I didn’t want to scare you off. We all love you so much, I couldn’t bear to put your position here in jeopardy. But then I got so excited when I found you in the woods I didn’t even think to turn back… and you got hurt again because of that. If I could go back I would undo all of the pain I caused you, but I know that isn't possible. You don't have to forgive me, but please… don't leave. Don't punish the rest of them for something I did."

She was silent for a long time, so long that by the end of it she was wondering if she even knew how to speak anymore, or if she were permanently rendered mute by the sharp edges of this exposed truth. 

"I'm scared Namjoon…" her voice was only a whisper, almost lost among the sounds of the night. "I don't want to be, because I know it's you and I love you, but… those deep-rooted instincts to keep myself safe and run and hide till the danger passes are running wild within me. I don't want to go, but for so long the only answer I've known is running. I don't know how else to handle this."

"Well… for someone who's spent her whole life running, you've got a lot of fight in you. Twice now you've kicked my ass, but maybe you can use that spirit to fight for the future you've earned, here, safe with us. Even if it just means fighting your own instincts, don't let me or you or anyone else take this place from you. It is yours, and you belong here." 

Namjoon stepped away from her, moving towards the stairs to the driveway. "I'm gonna go spend the night in a hotel or something, you stay here and sleep on it. We can talk again tomorrow."

Y/n watched wordlessly as he got into the car and drove off. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, watching the spot where she had last seen his headlights, before finally going back inside.

[wendibird]

SPN 15X14 Observations

So, for whatever dumbass reason, when trying to use my actual television, the cable refuses to work properly 8 times out of 10. BUT I was able to stream tonight’s episode on my computer with my cable network’s app. So, there’s that. Because of that, and since it’s easier for me to type on my keyboard than on my phone, I actually took quick notes and observations during commercial breaks. Here are those, then some more of my thoughts following. (And I’m sorry if any of these seem a bit incoherent. They were more my observations to myself. *LOL*  

(everything else under the keep reading line since I got a bit rambly, and just in case anyone wants to avoid spoilers)

- Brothers being written a bit like characters of themselves rather than just themselves. (trying too hard?)

- Love Mrs. Butters. Actress really good. And the minor ret-con works with what we've seen.

- Sam more concerned about Jack. I think he understands him better, even though he hasn't seen much of him.

- "Ignoring your trauma doesn't make you healthy." (or something like that.) Good quote!

- Waiting for the catch.

- "Enjoy the world you're fighting for." (compare with Kevin's similar line: "I can't enjoy a world I need to save.")

- Mrs. Butters knows Jack isn't human.

- BOY did the shoe drop! But it was Sinclaire involved. Not surprised he took advantage of her natural protective nature.

- Wanted more plot for WHY exactly they still have Thor's Hammer. Have they had it this whole time? Last we saw Sam dropped it in 8X2. Or did Mrs. Butters conjure it up because they might need it? Was cool though that Sam was using it. Because we already know he can.

- Jack figured out on his own how to use the projector. (love that boy!)

- liked hearing him talk about what happened with Mary and how he feels.

- Mrs. Butters knows from experience about needing "second chances" I think.

- Why were they ALWAYS wearing the same clothes during the "We got one!" montages? Assuming it was supposed to have taken place over several days at least if not longer. (I highly doubt they went out on THAT many hunts in one day.)

- Yeeeah... So I get she's protective, but JACK IS BABY! She can clearly see his power levels but she has to have seen how he he actually IS? But she gave him the smoothies from the start, so she's been planning it from almost the start. Hrm.

- idk what anyone else says, I'm thrilled that Sam and Eileen had a date. Also, THIS is where that sweater-vest comes from. Bet we'll see him going for his gun too. (That clip was hotly debated in one of the discord servers I’m on)

- Dean is obviously still having some issues with Jack, but he also seems to know that they're his personal issues and he knows that Jack is good. (Expanding on this thought post episode, I was seeing this as Dean recognizing the difference between what he knows and what he’s feeling. So, yey! Personal growth!)

- DEAN JACK IS NOT A BATTERING RAM!!!

- Dean sees Jack as a weapon. He used him as a battering ram. He'll use him as a grenade to throw at Chuck. (More on this after the notes.)

- Sam sees him as a person. His argument was that Jack was someone he cared about. That killing him would HURT him.

- Also, did they HAVE to go for the fingernails again?!

- Poor Sam, getting tortured. And being the "favorite" of something bad.

- Also, SAM WAS RIGHT! To be cautious of her at first. Too many times he's had things/people seem good and turn out opposite.

- And because Dean had decided it was all okay, they both stopped looking up on her.

- Maybe Sam will realize that he doesn't always have to follow Dean's lead. He can pursue his own paths. (Not talking about them separating. Just, if he wants to look into something, he should do it. If he wants to follow a different lead, he should check it out.)

- I know he lost a lot of confidence last season but I hope he realizes that he doesn't by default make bad decisions.

- Okay, that was a good resolution. I'm glad she's going back to her people.

- Interdimensional geoscope: Dean saw nothing. Because ALL the other universes are gone. *sad-face*

- Love Sam and Jack. Wish we got a bit more. But it was something.

- Also love that Dean tried. That felt real to me. (the birthday cake)

More thoughts! 

So. Overall I liked this episode. It was lighthearted mostly, but touched on some serious topics and wasn’t completely disconnected with what is going on with everyone, despite the random holiday montage. *LOL* (Yes, I know she wasn’t bending time or anything, she was just choosing to celebrate some holidays with her boys regardless of when this is all taking place exactly.) It did feel a bit to me, at the start anyway, like the writing at least was trying too hard to “Sound like Sam and Dean” instead of just them being them. I mentioned that at the start but what I mean is, in this season especially (but not exclusively) I’ve noticed a lot of times where it feels to me like the writing/directing/whatever leads to the sum total of what we see is trying too hard to present this idea of who the characters are, like caricatures of them. The things associated with them get emphasized, sometimes out of proportion. Though in this episode, it only felt like that during the opening scene and maybe a few places elsewhere. Overall I thought the writing and especially the acting on the parts of the main 3 guys and the guest actor were well done and had a lot of nuance when needed. Like, as an example, when Sam and Dean sussed out that this being that they didn’t even know was a bit behind the times, they were actually pretty gentle with bringing her up to speed. And her reaction to realizing that everyone she knew before was dead felt very real. 

I liked what we saw of where each of the characters were emotionally this episode. It was the first one after Jack has been re-souled and it had definitely been weighing on my mind how everyone was doing. (Though I REALLY wish we could have actually seen Sam and Dean’s reactions to Jack tearfully begging their forgiveness last episode. But lacking any other input, I’m headcannoning that Sam gave him a very long, warm hug.)  

I also agree with Sam, I think there’s something more that Jack hasn’t told them yet, probably some details about Billy’s plan that he or her are sure the brothers won’t like. (Now, what exactly that could be is very much up in the air. I can think of quite a few options, but the details aren’t really important to me just now. Just the fact that something about it is weighing on Jack. More than just Mary’s death and the prospect of having to kill God. Which, in and of themselves would be more than enough.) 

Speaking of Sam, I liked that we saw all those little nods to how he feels about Jack, how he’s still worried about him, and seems to understand him. 

I also get where Dean’s coming from. And I thought it was well-portrayed. And let me just say, I am GLAD that he just outright told Jack where he was at. He didn’t sugarcoat it, but he also didn’t blow up at him, or reply with sarcasm or bring up other, unrelated stuff. Dean knows that Jack is trying, but he himself has some emotional stuff he needs to deal with. That he is dealing with. And it’s going to take him some time. 

I do however stand by my observation made during the episode that at least at that point in it, Dean considered Jack a weapon. An asset. He literally used him as a battering ram, and in a more meta way, he’s planning on using him as a grenade to throw at God. Even when arguing with Mrs. B about it, his response was in reference to Jack’s usefulness. Whereas Sam was arguing that Jack meant something to him, that he cared about him, and hurting Jack would hurt him. Now, I do think that Dean’s POV had shifted a bit by the very end. Dean’s love language has almost always been shown by doing things for people, and taking care of them. So him making that birthday cake for Jack really felt to me like him trying to tell him that he does actually care about him. And I think Jack got it. And true, the cake might not have been as neat and pretty as Mrs. B would have made it, but I thought it was beautiful because of all the thought that went into it. (Dean’s more of a cook than a baker too.) 

As a side note, something I thought about after the episode: when Mrs. B stepped in, she kind of took over that care-taker role. AND the research role. She made them lunches, cooked them dinners, decorated for holidays, and overall made them feel comfortable and safe. And she also pin-pointed where monsters were and made sure they were all stocked-up and ready to go. All they had to do was show up and get it done. And yeah, it must have been a nice break from the norm. But I also think about how much Dean finds his identity beyond hunting in taking care of people. And how much Sam finds his identity in researching and figuring things out. And with her doing that, they both took it easy on those ends. Dean didn’t have to make burgers for everyone since Mrs. B made a roast. Sam didn’t have to research since she could tell them where the monsters were and what kind. I almost wonder if both of them were starting to feel like those parts of themselves were all of a sudden unnecessary. (Which makes me a little sad, because it reminds me a bit of the “two cakes” concept in fandom. Who cares if someone else can “do it better”? If you do it, then there’ll be even more of the good thing!)  And as I observed above, Sam also stopped looking into HER. I mean, he didn’t even know what would kill a wood nymph. And I do think part of that also goes back to him having recently fallen back on letting Dean make the big decisions. Because last season so many of his blew up in his face. (Though I don’t think most of that was his fault. But Sam tends to blame himself for a lot.) And I do hope that maybe he’ll remember that he does have good instincts when he listens to them. And he can keep looking into something even if Dean thinks it’s fine. It’s not a betrayal to be prepared. 

ALSO! Being the absolute Saileen hoe that I am, even though we didn’t Eileen in this episode, I was thrilled that Sam went out on a date with her because she was in town! And true, we don’t know what all went down, but regardless, I see it as good that they’re at the very least still friends, and that hopefully Eileen is sorting out her own feelings vs whatever she might think could be Chuck’s manipulations. Even if Saileen isn’t Engame (and honestly, as much as I love it, I don’t think it will be) I would still like for them to be on good terms with each other. (And for her to NOT get fridged again!) 

Another thing I was pondering afterwards and a bit during: I wasn’t surprised that Sam held up to the torture fairly well. I mean, it still obviously hurt! (And again, WHY with the fingernails again?! As someone in one of my discord servers mentioned, we didn’t need THAT particular call-back to the Christmas Episode of Season 3!) But he was listening to what she was saying. And he understood the implications that she had been tortured into acting how they wanted her to act. And Sam understands torture, and how it can mess someone up. And despite what she had done to him, and was trying to still do, he validated what she had been through. He empathized with her. And that.... it’s just SO Sam! 

I will say that the resolution felt a little... abrupt. Like, her expression had changed a little during the fight/argument. Then back from the commercial break and she’s all packed-up and ready to leave and they’re all saying goodbye and wishing her well. I feel like there might have been some more scenes or parts of scenes that were originally there connecting things up more, but were cut for time.

I wouldn’t say this was a groundbreaking episode, but it WAS fun, and it did have some seriousness at it’s core, and I think it did what it needed to do. 

(And I apologize if this is just a big rambling mess. I’m not used to doing structured episode reviews. *LOL* Feedback and opinions are welcome though!) 

[inspirationdivine]

Curtain Call || Lydia, Orion, Winston, Luce, Athena

Timing: Current Parties: @inspirationdivine @3starsquinn @danetobelieve @divineluce @athenaquinn Summary: After being forced to leave town by Kaden, Lydia prepares for her next steps. Others have different ideas.  Warnings: Drug manipulation (leanan sidhe kiss), references to abuse, gore tw, minor vomit tw (mentions)

Now that her arm was healing and her wing was taped together, walking was almost bearable. Lydia was also running high on painkillers, so her entire body felt like it was wrapped in cotton gauze, numb to both the outside world and the inside one. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and with a wince, she pulled it out. It was Deirdre, calling again. It was practically muscle memory at this point to tap decline and put it away again, as it had been for the dozens of calls she’d gotten from the Banshee. It must have been the mushrooms or something. Deirdre was ever so susceptible to them. Lydia pursed her lips, before looking at Rio. “I can’t stress enough how grateful I am for all of your help. My, uh, my friend will be here in an hour. You don’t mind waiting that little bit longer, do you?” She looked around at the crowded evening streets from the passenger side of her car. “You probably need to eat, right?” She asked him. 

 Orion knew nothing about this friend of Lydia’s, but figured that waiting around until they got here wouldn’t kill him. For now, Rio was pretty sure that Lydia was safe from the hunter at least. That wouldn’t stop them from coming after her again, but Lydia must have felt safe with the friend who should be coming to get her or she wouldn’t have reached out to them in the first place. Rio wasn’t sure how long it had been since Lydia had first contacted him but he knew that he hadn’t gotten any sleep. He had pulled enough all nighters in the Scribrary to know how to function with little to no sleep, but that didn’t stop his stomach from growling. “It’s fine. I’m happy to stick around.” Rio smiled at the woman and leaned his head against the car window. “It’s not a big deal, I’m not that hungry. I can wait.” He was lying obviously, his stomach growling enough proof of that. But right now his only concern was making sure that she got away from here safely. He could worry about eating later.

 Winston had not been having a good time since dealing with Bloody Mary and the Sandman; Orion had gone missing and it had been a rough ride to track him down (which Winston wouldn’t normally do with their boyfriend because CREEPY but these were unprecedented times). To make matters worse Todd had fallen off the surface of the Earth. He’d cut Winston off. Winston wasn’t sure what they had done to receive this sort of treatment, but there it was. It had been hard. Picking between going after Todd and going after Rio, but Winston hadn’t really had to think that much about the choice, it had sort of come naturally and Winston was sure that they had made the right call. They were weighed down with all manner of magical gadgetry as they followed the blinking light on their screen. “I don’t think they’re too far from here,” they whispered as they crept forward, knowing that Rio couldn’t be that much further away. Thank God for technomancy. 

 Of all the people Luce had expected to go up against Lydia with, Athena and Winston were pretty far at the bottom of her list. In fact, they were probably at the bottom. But, when she’d gotten the message from Athena, telling her about the situation, Luce had been only too willing to help. Help. That was… one way of describing what she was hoping to do. Murder, that was another word for it. A more accurate one. Fingers curling around the iron spear that she’d brought with her, Luce followed closely behind Winston. Who would have thought the neighbor kid would be leading the charge to fuck up a lady. “Mhm.” Luce nodded, the familiar grip of Lydia’s magic creeping up on her as she tried to figure out how to word things. She knew about Lydia, knew about her home and what she could do to people. But when Athena had told her about the situation, it had circumvented the fae magic that bound her to her promise. If the others already knew about Lydia , then it didn’t matter. “What’s our game plan, once we get there? I’ve got this,” She held the spear up, “But I can’t exactly just light up a bitch without there being some fall out.”

 She knew this had to be done. Whatever came of all of it, Lydia couldn’t go on living. Not because of who she was, not because of what she’d done to Ariana and now, according to Winston, possibly to her brother. Athena couldn’t help but let the iron in her blood concentrate periodically to her fingertips, her lips in a firm line. She had a couple more knives on her body than usual, because whatever was going to happen, she couldn’t leave room for anything to go wrong. She was glad that she’d asked Luce to come along - working to take down that Cù-sìth those months ago had solidified Athena’s already present respect for the woman. “I think we should avoid the fire for now - we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves. She’s lived a super-duper fucking long time,” she knew her words were biting and she didn’t care, “and that means she’s got to have ways of getting out of tricky situations. So I say we go in there, make sure my brother - make sure Ri’s all safe, and kill her. Plain and simple.” Even though she had to admit to herself that it was anything but.

 “If you’re sure,” Lydia said softly. He was perfectly tolerable as far as humans went, and she’d rather keep the promises in her back pocket and keep her slate as clean as she could, at least in the eyes of those she still loved back in White Crest. She shifted, looking over the bandage on her arm to see if it needed changing. Nothing. When Lydia looked out the window, surveying the people on the road, she spotted someone she couldn’t believe was here. Lucinda Vural. Lydia looked out the right side of her window, clucking her tongue in frustration at the sight of traffic all around them. There was no easy way to drive out of here. The last thing she wanted was for Luce to find her smeared in her own blood and weak, for another way to be hurt by the Vurals. Being in a car in the vicinity of a fire spellcaster also frightened her. “We should go for a walk. Quickly, Rio. I’m so sorry.”

 “A walk? What about your friend?” Orion found himself asking, but that didn’t seem to bother Lydia much. She was already climbing out of the car in a hurry. Rio only let himself rest for another second, letting out a held breath and staring up at the roof of the car before following her out of the car. She seemed shaken. Was the hunter back around? Was that what she had been freaking out about? Immediately, Rio began looking around the place, spotting a familiar face from a block or two over. “Luce?” Rio asked aloud, glancing over at Lydia. Could that be who she had spotted? Luce was scary but she wasn’t exactly a hunter. “Last time I saw her she punched me in the face.” Rio touched at the spot on his face on reflex, a ghost pain reminding him of how strong one of her punches could be when she was mad. But the memories dissipated quickly when the traffic broke, revealing two more faces with Luce that had previously been blocked by a car. “What the-” Rio froze in place, no longer walking alongside Lydia but instead trying to figure out why Winston and Athena were together. And here of all places. “I know them.” Rio was ready to wave before he hesitated. Lydia was a fae, and whatever trauma Athena was going through at the moment, she was a warden. She hadn’t been the hunter that had attacked Lydia, but she might be just as dangerous. “What is going on?” He turned on Lydia.

 Luce wasn’t alone. That was worse, somehow. Perhaps her and Winston were on an out of town shopping trip for some reason, with the blonde girl Lydia didn’t recognise, but this was the wrong area to go for extended shop options. “I don’t know. Really, Rio, I have no idea why they’re here, but I don’t want to wait to find out if it’s a coincidence.” Lydia replied in hushed tones, already anxiously moving. “Let’s go.” She had no idea why any of them were here, but Lydia had seen at least a few times the kind of power Winston held. She also knew she had talked Todd through leaving Winston, although nothing should have connected her to that from their perspective. 

 She was seething. She could see her brother and she saw him look over. Athena had half a mind to run over right then, but she knew that she had to be careful. If not for her own life, for the lives of Luce, Winston, and her brother. She couldn’t let them die. Her skin was crawling and she wanted nothing more than to be away from Lydia, but she had to remind herself that she would be soon. “I - I don’t know why my brother - why he’s not…” Why he’s not coming over here. Though he sometimes had things planned far in advance but there was something about the whole situation that didn’t sit quite right with her, though the idea of her brother being around a murderous fae in the first place was more than enough to set her off. “We’ve got to act soon, but we also have to make sure she doesn’t hurt my brother - hurt Ri - in retaliation.” Her fingers found one of the knives pressed flush against her hip, letting the cool iron of it match the concentrated iron under her skin. “I think your spear will come in handy,” she whispered to Luce. “I don’t really care, as long as she suffers.”

 Swallowing, Winston did their best to take in the entire situation. They knew that this was complex but right now the only priority that there was was to get Orion out of here without getting him hurt. Something that was easier said than done. “I’m sorry but I don’t really care about hurting Lydia, all I care is about getting Rio out of this. I don’t know why he’s playing along but…” Winston wasn’t sure that they really cared enough to explain their thought process. Tracking Rio had not been so difficult but the question of why he was willingly assisting Lydia remained. It was a promise bind situation was all that Winston could think. “I will concentrate on making sure Rio doesn’t get hurt,” Winston had designed tech specifically for a situation like this but like most of the tech that they came up with it hadn’t exactly been field tested until now, “but the faster we can do this… well the better.”

 Wait, Rio was Athena’s brother? What fucking apples and what fucking trees... Luce shook her head-- now wasn’t the time to think about that. The two of them clearly had higher stakes in this than her. Athena and Winston wanted to make sure Rio was safe. Which was fair. But, that didn’t help the fact that he was definitely with Lydia. Letting out a sigh, Luce glanced around the busy roads. There was a lot of fucking traffic, a lot more innocent people than she could reasonably risk with her flames. Fire had a way of getting out of hand and this wasn’t the place for it right now. “Listen, the longer we stand here, the worse this is going to go. That bitch,” Luce growled, “Will do whatever it takes to get away. You two, find a way to cut her off, stop her from getting away. Try to get Rio away from her.” She said and shook her head, thinking of the way August had bent to her will. If he’d been kissed by her, Luce had no idea if it’d even be possible to get Rio back. “In the meantime,” Gripping the spear tightly in her hand, Luce watched for traffic and began to cross the road. The iron in her hands heated under her skin, her blood boiling. “Hey, Lydia. Long time no see.”

 “Does Luce have a spear?” Orion asked incredulously, eyes growing wide as he remembered the damage she had done without any weapon at all the last time the two had run into each other. They did need to go, but Rio didn’t exactly want to. Something was happening. Rio found himself glancing back and forth between the three and Lydia. Something wasn’t adding up, but Rio knew enough about Athena and Luce to know that violence was definitely on their minds. Lydia was too injured to get away from any of them right now, especially a hunter. Counting on that, Rio slid in front of Lydia, blocking Luce’s path to her as she crossed the street. “Oh uh. Hey guys. What’s up?” He tried smiling, giving a small wave before tucking his hand behind his head and scratching at his neck nervously. He was so confused. He glanced at the three, eyes finally landing on Winston and staying there, the smile disappearing from his face as their eyes locked and Rio tried to figure out why they were here with the other two. “Funny running into you here, yeah?”

 Lydia’s gaze flicked around, eyes narrowing. There was a tall department store not thirty feet away, with a flat roof, which meant there was likely rooftop access. Three blocks away, there was a safe loft where she could wait out her connection. Just fifty more minutes. Lucinda walked up close as Lydia took a nervous step back. Fucking Vurals. “That’s an iron spear,” she pointed out, her hand trembling. Rio knew these people. Shit. Maybe they really were here for Rio. But the steely stare of Lucinda told her that Rio was not the main concern. Lydia stood a little taller, her whole body aching. Her thigh buzzed again. “Did I not pay you enough for your magic, Winston? Did I not look after your human sacrifice well enough, Lucinda? I don’t even know who you are, another spellcaster, no doubt. If this is what Kaden Langley’s grace looks like, it’s not very impressive.” Lydia’s voice wobbled with nerves, even as her tone chilled like ice. “You would protect me, no matter what, wouldn’t you, Rio? You promised. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but they’re here to hurt me.” 

 “She’s hurt him and my-” Ariana. “Another good friend. She needs to suffer.” Athena nodded. “You can concentrate to make sure he doesn’t get hurt. He can’t.” I can’t live with myself if he did. I knew he was going to get in trouble with a fae one day. She couldn’t blame him though, not when there was a potential that he might not make it out of this alive. “We’ll make this efficient. That, among many other things, is something I can excel at.” She nodded at Luce and followed her across the road, hoping that the traffic would dissipate soon enough. She didn’t need innocent lives being lost, at least not as much as she could avoid. “Not so funny.” Athena’s eyes narrowed in response to her brother. “You -” her eyes widened, praying for him to somehow hear her thoughts. Not that such a thing was possible, but when they’d been children it had almost felt like it was. She hardened her gaze as it shifted over to where Lydia sat, her skin crawling. Not a spellcaster, she wanted to say. Wanted to hiss, even. She had no issues with spellcasters, but she was not one. Not at all. “Doesn’t matter who I am. I know enough about who you are.” Kaden has nothing to do with this. At least not the most significant part. As she turned to watch the exchange between her brother and Lydia, she couldn’t help but reach for her dagger again, though she didn’t remove it. You promised. “You didn’t.” Turning to look directly at her brother, Athena shook her head, doing her best to keep her breathing even. No. 

 That confirmed it. Promise bound. Great. Rio was too good for this world truly. Of course he was going to make a promise that he would be forced to keep. “Lydia, you definitely pay very well, I would’ve loved to have just worked for you, but you took Todd and now you’ve taken someone even more important and wrapped him up in a promise that he shouldn’t have to keep. I’m not going to make him break it, because that will hurt him more than I can allow, but I won’t let you keep doing this.” Winston fished into their pocket, pulling a number of tiny metal balls of twine from their pocket before tossing them through the air. The balls of twine sprouted tiny wire legs and began to scuttle towards Rio. They were made from iron. Everything had a hint of iron nowadays. Better for dealing with fae. “I’m really sorry Rio,” Winston watched as the wires of the twine reached out and began to wrap themselves around Rio’s feet. Hopefully this didn’t hurt them too much. Winston wasn’t sure if them preventing Rio from completing the promise would hurt Rio as well, they hoped not. But right now they had to deal with Lydia. She couldn’t go on. 

 When Rio stepped into her path, Luce had the uncomfortable flashback to the last time they’d run into each other. She’d been wrong then, yeah. And, as she heard Athena and Winston talk, as they pieced together the puzzle that she really didn’t care about, she had a feeling that she was going to be in the wrong again. But, it didn’t matter. Rio wouldn’t be hurt. Not in any real way compared to what she was going to do to Lydia. As Winston apologized, as they let loose their latest techno-magical marvel, she watched the way it curled around his legs. Probably not enough to stop him, but if she gave him a little help...  Luce curled her free hand into a fist. “Sorry, Rio.” She said apologetically and punched the kid square in the face once more before quickly sidestepping him to face Lydia. Holding the short spear out to block the woman’s path, she offered a tight lipped smile. “I’d say you did your job too well, Lydia.” She said as she pressed forward. It was too open here, too many eyes. If they could just get away from the street. “Why don’t we have a nice little chat about just how good you are at what you do, huh?” Luce said, the threat of violence mounting with every step she took towards the Fae woman.

 Everything happened quickly. Orion’s first instinct was to deny Lydia’s claims. He wouldn’t have promised her anything. “No- That can’t be… I didn’t-” But he kept trailing off. Back then, he hadn’t known she was a fae. She was a woman attacked by a monster in town and Rio was a hunter that had helped her. He had promised not to harm her. To protect her even. “Oh my god.” He had been so stupid. And now, everything made sense. Athena was helping Ariana look for the Fae that had killed her friend. Turned out, Rio had known her all along. His voice caught in his throat. He wanted to yell at Lydia, or to yell at the group but what was the point? This was all his fault. He had saved a monster, and now he had been trapped in her net. “Please don’t make me do that.” Rio finally spoke, begging Lydia to let him free. To stop him. The group caught on quickly, wires wrapping around Rio’s leg in an attempt by Winston to lock him into place, and seconds later another punch to the face by Luce threw him off balance. At least she apologized this time around. But as much as Rio wanted to fight against it and stay rooted in place, he felt his body moving on it’s own. “Crap. No, no, no.” He said to himself as he grabbed at the wires and began ripping them away from his legs. Don’t do this. He kept telling himself, forcing himself to stop. But he had promise bound himself to a freaking fae. “Stop me!” He yelled at the group. But he had already ripped most of the wires free and was reaching towards Luce to stop her from hurting Lydia. 

 If the blonde girl was going to act vague and detached, Lydia was going to dismiss her as entirely uninteresting. Luce and Winston were the clear threats here. “T-” Lydia frowned. They oughtn’t have been able to know about that. The detachment had been seamless, Todd’s last close connections hurt but not suspicious. In a year, no one would be able to find a single reference to DJ Dayze, but the transition had only barely started. No matter now, Todd would rot in that home of hers until she sent someone to pull him out, but she tucked that thought away. Apparently this human hunter was even more valuable than Todd. A bargaining chip. Lydia jumped back as Winston threw their gizmos on the floor, but the twine only went for Rio, not for her. Lydia’s mouth filled with saliva as her heart began to race, adrenaline numbing the searing pain in her back and arms. Luce aimed the spear she had once stolen from a red cap at Lydia, and Lydia swallowed. “I don’t want to make him fight you. If you all backed off, he would be home in a couple hours and no one would have any more issues. But that isn’t going to happen, is it?” The blonde girl’s hand twitched to something at her side, so Lydia’s did the same, slowly backing away from Lucinda’s spear. At the same moment that Rio stopped to reach for it, Lydia grabbed her own dagger and pushed it into his hand. “Your choice. Have fun.” Lydia spun and spat on a passer by, yelling for him to protect her too. She bolted down the street, licking her hand and spreading her toxin onto every human she could touch, leaving a wall of human shields in her wake. The department store would let her disappear, if she could reach it. Lydia’s phone buzzed again, as Lydia screeched in frustration. Surely Deirdre knew she would be busy?

 The fae was hardly paying attention to her, but that suited Athena just fine. She relished when those who she hunted underestimated her. It just made their deaths all the more pleasurable in the end. She knew that she couldn’t let her guard down, not even for a moment. She winced briefly at Winston and Luce’s actions, but she felt her whole body tense up at her brother’s pleading. There was no work-around right now - who knew what sort of promises he’d been exactly manipulated into, and she couldn’t risk any further harm coming to him. She couldn’t lose him. Wouldn’t lose him. Except Lydia wasn’t going to go down easy. “I do not believe you.” She replied, simply, gaze focused. Focused on Lydia before it moved to her brother, and the dagger than Lydia had placed in his hand. “Ri, no.” She hissed, as Lydia spat on someone else and began to run away. “I - we can’t let her get away.” Athena began to move in the direction where Lydia had gone - dagger now removed and clearly visible. “We also can’t - the humans need to get out of this as unharmed as possible.” She moved toward her brother for just a moment, wondering if there was a way to get the dagger out of his hands. If she could be quick and swift enough to do so. She knew how he moved, usually.  

 Winston had seen this fae affect so many people. She had killed Ariana’s friend. She had taken Todd. She was doing all of this to Rio and now she was bringing in people who had absolutely nothing to do with it and bringing them into it all. Winston swallowed before watching Rio tear through the wire that was wrapping up his body. They really hadn’t wanted to hurt their but there wasn’t really much choice here. Willing the wires to unravel and then tighten around him, Winston fought back against Rio’s frankly incredible strength. Something that Winston would’ve normally marvelled at. Hurling more balls of twine his way, they watched as Lydia tried to make her exit. Reaching out with their mind Winston tried to sense the wires that would inevitably run through all of the streets and lanes. Unfortunately this wasn’t as densely populated an area as they would’ve normally liked and therefore there was not as much around them that they would be able to use. But they would make do. “I can only do so much with these balls of twine but I’ll try and stop Lydia from getting too far.” Winston watched as she darted through the crowd, there was a telephone line hanging overhead and Winston snapped the wire with their mind, causing the copper wire to lash downwards and wrap around Lydia’s leg. “Get the dagger off of Rio and we can deal with him once Lydia’s dealt with…” Winston was concerned however, they didn’t really want to substantially hurt their boyfriend but they were beginning to wonder if they didn’t have much other choice.

 In an instant, the tension that had existed between them had exploded into motion, with action and reaction. Rio was tearing at the wires, now armed, Athena grasping the dagger, Lydia taking off through the crowd, setting up a wall of human shields between her and them. Luce gritted her teeth as one of the entranced bystanders positioned himself firmly between her and Lydia, his hands raising to block her. Hand to hand wasn’t her best skill, and neither was taking down people in a way that wouldn’t hurt them badly. Anger burning under her skin, Luce tried to focus on the sensation she’d had that night, when she’d willed the magic to crackle and explode into something more than just flame. Lightning, electricity, sharp and precise and deadly. She wanted it, needed it now more than ever.  But, when she brought her hands up, outstretched and reaching for Lydia, a burst of blue flames were conjured instead. The flames caught on the clothes of the people around her, not caring who or what they consumed. And neither did the bystanders between them. They continued to block her path, even as the fire crawled along their bodies. “Fuck.” She swore before focusing her magic, pouring energy into killing the flames, smothering them. “Shit, shit, shit!” She swore. 

 Through her perforated ear, Lydia did not hear the overhead cable snap until it cracked around her ankle. Lydia toppled, screaming like she was being burned again as she caught her weight with just one arm. Unsuspecting humans moved close to help her out of misguided kindness, but the cable had split her skin where it had lashed her first and they were hesitant to reach out. Frightened of an electric shock. Lydia grabbed one passerby, smearing her spit on him until it numbed his fear. “Get it off me!” She shrieked. His hands frantically scrabbled at the cable, as she grabbed three others, including a teenager, to pry the cable off her leg. Winston wanted her dead, but they wouldn’t electrocute her with humans at stake, right? Lydia looked up as a couple humans screamed, staring in wide eyed horror at the fire melting clothes in the crowd. They didn’t falter as their skin burned, even if they yelled in pain. That was the point of the kiss, after all, that they would set themselves on fire to keep Lydia safe. The entrancing sight was extinguished just as quickly, and the copper wire was pried from her legs. “Help me up,” she snarled, and two arms picked her up from the waist. Dizzy with the ache of a dozen injuries, Lydia forced herself to turn on her heel and run again, pushing people out of the way as she went. 

 Orion didn’t want the knife that Lydia passed off to him, but he couldn’t seem to let it go. He had to protect Lydia. Even if his brain was telling him to stop, he had to protect her. His family had been warning him their entire lives not to fall into the trap, but here he was. As his grip tightened on the knife, Rio found himself gritting his teeth. It seemed like the only physical thing he could do to restrain himself. His muscles ached as he was forced to move forward despite trying so desperately to hold himself back. He could see the three around them, Luce moving towards Lydia, Winston trying to work their magic and Athena ready to pounce at Rio at any moment. All his mind could think about was how to stop all three of them from getting to Lydia. Luce and Winston both had dangerous magic and Athena had always been stronger than Rio had. It seemed like more of a losing battle, and while that’s exactly in actuality, the reality was that he had no choice but to try. He needed to stop Luce, she was closest. But before he could move, Athena leapt at him. He had grown up fighting her his entire life, but had never once won a battle. He had never wanted to fight her, but they had known all the same moves. They had grown up memorizing each other’s moves. But Rio was different than he had been before. He had been learning moves from someone else now. He slid past her arm, grabbing onto her wrist and twisting it behind her, finally pulling her entire arm behind her back in order to pin her. With his free hand he held the knife up, begging himself internally not to use it. He was forced to protect Lydia, but that didn’t mean he’d have to kill anyone. He just needed to fulfill his promise. If he slowed them down, that was protecting her. “I’m sorry.” Rio muttered, voice shaking in anticipation, “Oh god, I’m so sorry.” He tried to drive the point home before he braced his free hand on the other side of her arm and snapped them against each other, stomach flipping at the sound of bones cracking. “Please stop me.” Rio reminded her before discarding her and taking off for the other two.

 There was almost too much happening at once - though Athena knew that she ought to have expected such. Given everything she knew about Lydia, she’d never expected this to be easy, but the very fact that this fae was so willing to take down innocent civilians just made her all the more reprehensible. She watched Winston and Luce work their magicks, though she couldn’t help but wince as Luce’s aim missed - though it was through no fault of her own - and hit a person rather than Lydia. She didn’t have too much time to focus, though - because she could see her brother move, the knife still far too shiny in his hands, looking incredibly out of place. It didn’t suit him, and not for the first time, she just wanted to make things better. Wanted to take on whatever he was feeling, even if she was furious that he’d managed to get himself into this, that he’d managed to get promise-bound to one of the most vile fae she had ever encountered. She leapt at him for a moment, but before she knew what was happening she could feel his hand grab her wrist and twist it behind her back and she didn’t change her expression, ignoring the slight pain that shot through her body. He was stronger, now, somehow, and she found herself admiring this fact for a split second before she heard his voice shaking - and she didn’t cry - their parents had taught them to avoid that, because in the end it could be used as a distraction - but she wanted to, wanted to take away all the terror that was in his voice. She watched him raise the knife up for a moment and her eyes widened. She’d seen him in their kitchen. She knew what he could do, but she hoped that something, somehow would allow him not to use that. He lowered his other arm until both were on the side of her arm - her non-dominant one, she noted, before she heard the snap and bit down on her lip hard -- too hard -- so that she wouldn’t scream. “It’s fine. You’re safe. It’s -” she felt herself sinking down onto the ground, looking over towards where Winston and Luce were. Ignoring whatever her brother was doing. “Corner Lydia. I can - I can do this, we just need to get her somewhere and…” she scrunched up her face. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

 Winston heard the dull crunch of bones and swallowed feeling slightly queasy. But they had to overcome this. They had to stop Lydia. People were going to help Todd, they were going to help everyone that was under her control and now it was Winston’s responsibility to help deal with this. She had been abusing her abilities for too long and people were getting hurt. Concern flashed across Winston’s face and they dashed onwards. Their lungs burning in protest at this much exercise and sweat speckling their brow. They’d never gotten the hang of running. They honestly weren’t entirely sure how people did it to keep fit and despite every occasion in which they had been forced to sprint away from something trying to kill them they were never going to get used to this. But they didn’t have time to reach for their inhaler right now. They knew that Athena was right, they couldn’t wait for her on this though the injury that she had just sustained looked painful. Swallowing nervously, Winston pushed through the people around them.  They were slowing them down and Winston couldn’t afford the delay. Reaching out with their magic once more, Winston grasped the wires everywhere and quickly began to force them to snap taught. The metal rose from walls, concrete and even street lights like thin snakes, wrapping around the civilians and pulling them out of the way. “We need to corner her!” It was an unfamiliar town for all of them, but Winston had technology on their side -- as always--  and was quickly able to pull up a street layout. “Luce, force her to go left.” The amount of will that they were exerting on keeping everything in place was … significant and they weren’t sure how long they could keep this up. They needed to end this and fast.

 Luce winced as she heard the snapping of bone, heard Rio apologize, but didn’t hear the slightest sound from Athena. Well. Good thing she wasn’t on the girl’s shit list, because fuck. The Murder Siblings were scarier than she’d clocked them. Nodding at Athena’s shout, she continued to charge after Lydia but the fact remained-- her magic wasn’t of any use right now, not when there were too many innocent bystanders who would get caught in the literal line of fire. But, Winston was on top of that-- they always were. More cables shot from the ground, like tendrils, and grabbed at the enraptured pedestrians, restraining them. Not for the first time, Luce was grateful for their abilities, both of the magical and problem solving variety. They’d managed to create a narrow pathway through the bodies, straight towards Lydia. “Got it!” Luce yelled as she ran through the crowd. While Winston might have stopped them from being able to bar the path, Luce gritted her teeth as the people thrashed and kicked and hit, the blows landing against her as she ran. Nails scratched at her skin, drawing blood, and she felt one of the hands yank against the choker around her neck. The material closed around her neck and she let out a strangled snarl before incinerating the thin ribbon with a burst of flame. “You can’t fucking run from us, bitch!” She yelled as she sprinted towards Lydia and threw the iron spear, aiming for the space in front of her. The iron spear skewered the side of a plastic newspaper stand box, effectively barring Lydia’s path.

 Her Aos Sí preferred to practice chasing than being chased. They didn’t focus on it, considering it beneath themselves to spend more time thinking about Hunters than was utterly necessary, but one thing they had always stressed was that looking behind you would only slow you down. Lydia’s mouth filled with saliva even as she gasped for breath, and the more she ran, the less fussy she was as to who she spit on. Children were no longer off limits as she yelled for them to protect her. The whistling in one ear only grew louder the harder she had to breath, each step searingly painful with every injury from the last few days. Lydia was dizzy from it all, dizzy because her left ear didn’t work thanks to Regan’s temper tantrum. She couldn’t ignore her pain like Deirdre, or disguise it like Felix, or heal like Remmy, and she was beginning to slow, grabbing a random human for support so that she didn’t lose her balance. Lydia couldn’t hear what was happening behind her, couldn’t hear Luce’s scream or Winston’s yells, or that her human shield had a highway right through it. It sounded like she was winning, even as she stumbled, clutching her side, her breathe laborious and agonising.

 Lydia didn’t hear anything at all until a spear shot past her, punching through the newspaper stand and quivering. She turned right, staring at Luce for only a split second before spitting on a burly man and pushing him towards Luce. “RIO!” She screamed, “PROTECT ME!” Lydia turned on her heel and ducked through a back alley, which in turn twisted right, into a space full of dumpsters and a large garage for some kind of delivery van. Lydia skidded to a stop, wincing as she almost tripped over her own feet again. All the buildings joined together. Lydia jogged over to peer around a drain pipe, where she could get through to the other street… if there hadn’t been a fence in the way. “No-” Lydia breathed, spinning around. “There has to be-” There was a five storey building to her right, with a large fire escape down the side. “Thank god,” Lydia said, dropping the glamour on her wings and running over to it, launching herself into flight. Lightning speared through her back, Lydia screamed as she crumbled to the ground, her knee skidding through a week old abandoned ready meal from McDonalds. Kaden Langley had shredded her wing - without it, she could not reach. 

 There wasn’t a lot of time to figure out a plan, and Orion couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t messy. Physically compelled to help this woman who had hurt Ariana and murdered one of her friends. Forced against his will to fight against his own friends and sister. How did Rio complete his promise without hurting the ones that he loved? He caught up to Winston quickly, diving into them and causing them both to crash against the ground. Rio rolled away from them quickly and pushed back up onto his feet. “You have to stop me” Rio told Winston. Rio brandished the knife again, the thing burning against his palm. “No, no, no” Rio fought against himself. He couldn’t hurt Winston. Not anymore than he already had. Not with this stupid knife. Rio was frantic. He didn’t know how to stop himself. He glanced behind him to see Luce still hot on Lydia’s trail. “Damn it!” Rio called it, spinning from Winston. He needed to slow Luce down. But he didn’t want to hurt her. Unfortunately, as was the case with Athena, he didn’t think that was possible at the moment. He repositioned the knife in his hand, “I’m sorry” he mumbled his apologies to Luce before aiming and hurling the thing at her, aiming for her leg. Enough to slow her down, not to permanently injure her. “Knock me out. Please, god Winston. I can’t stop.” He turned to face Winston again, pleading with them before his body would force him to fight them.

 Shoving her way past the people who were trying to stop her from reaching Lydia, Luce made her way towards the woman. She needed to do this, needed to end this. In the time that she’d been gone, the coven, her mother, her sisters, they’d been in danger. And she’d had no way of knowing, because she’d been to fucking cowardly to face the shit that was happening here in White Crest. But, she wasn’t going to run away. Not from this, not from Lydia and the threat she held towards her and everyone else she cared about. Not when the woman had the power to bend anyone she wanted to her will. Luce remembered just what Lydia had done to August, had seen the way she’d forced him to promise away his magic, had watched as he’d broken his own bones. As Lydia ran in the opposite direction of the spear, Luce paused to wrench it free from the newspaper box. But, in that small window of time, she heard Rio swear and then felt the tip of a knife plunge into the back of her leg, just below the edge of her shorts. “Fuck!” She swore, the word coming out in a strangle gasp of pain. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Rio staring at Winston, begging them. She swallowed. Winston… they had to take care of this. Grasping the knife in her leg, Luce let out a hiss of pain before yanking it out. “FUCK!” Blood rolled freely down her skin, covering her tattoos in a slick sheen of red. “Lydia, you bitch!” She snarled, knife held tightly in her grasp as she continued after the woman, forcing herself into a limping jog.

 It was becoming increasingly clear that if they all didn’t finish this off soon, Lydia might actually get away with everything. Athena squeezed her eyes shut for another moment, concentrating all of her focus on the task at hand. Her arm hurt like nothing she had ever truly experienced before, and yet she knew that she couldn’t focus on that right now. That was for later, and whatever pain she had to work through would be worth it. Not to mention, her divinely given abilities (no matter what had happened with her parents, she still couldn’t shake those words, shake that belief entirely - and now was certainly not the time to be focusing on that most of all. She was grateful for all that Luce and Winston were doing - and impressed as well, if she let herself pause to process that for any length of time. She’d express her gratitude later, once this was all done. She stood up, finally, legs far more shaky than she wished for them to be, and concentrated on the despicable, terrible, crawling feeling of a fae being nearby. Lydia had taken off, and Athena made her way after her, after Luce - she spotted her brother throw something at Luce and she winced, only for a moment, but Luce kept moving and she just had to hope and trust that Winston could control her brother. 

 Winston had been holding back a little bit. It was Rio. There wasn’t a single person in their life that meant half as much as he did right now and Winston hadn’t been able to hurt them. But their hesitance had gotten Luce hurt and as they watched the knife sail end over end through the air, Winston swallowed sadly and shook their head. “Okay… Rio ... I’m sorry.” Tears balanced in their eye as they reached into their pocket and fished out the taser they had originally designed to kill mime dopplegangers. A few adjustments had been easy enough and it worked to stun, incapacitate and kill. Flicking the settings around, Winston feinted left before bringing the taser right. They watched the two long pins of a vey heavily modified cattle prod connect with Rio’s side before they sent a long and what would undoubtedly be a painful blast of electricity through Orion. Enough volts to really do something too. They just hoped that it wasn’t too much. Orion’s body crumpled in Winston’s arms and they gently set them down, leaning them against a wall before hurtling after Luce. Sweat glistened on their forehead but there was no choice but to get her. This had to stop. They couldn’t let anyone else get hurt by this monster. 

 “No, no, no,” Lydia gasped, eyes flicking around the space. None of the fire escapes were lower, walls looming around her like a cage, the stench of rotting food and human waste filling her lungs. This couldn’t be it. There had to be some door that was unlocked, some window she could squeeze through, but she was hardly the first person to look for a way into the ground floor back here. Lydia slammed her shoulder into a door and screamed as it only rattled. If her arm wasn’t broken, if her other wasn’t burned, if her wings- Lydia’s mind kept slipping back to Deirdre, to the buzzing of her phone. It wasn’t about Texas, or Morgan, or the squished hedgehog she’d found on the side of the road. It hadn’t been, for the past two dozen calls. Lydia stepped back, her breathing shallow, eyes flicking from shuttered window to shuttered window. She should have picked up hours ago. There was nowhere she wanted to be more than in Deirdre’s arms right now. The iron spear, the copper wires, Lydia looked down at her bleeding ankle and whimpered. There had to be more than this. If she ran back through the crowd, she could push people into Winston. Twist Luce’s own mind against her with the saliva in her mouth. 

 There had to be more, but Deirdre had been calling. Perhaps it would have happened in Lydia’s living room, with the fire lit, a bottle of glass in her belly. Maybe she wouldn’t have felt the poison shutting down her brain. Or perhaps Deirdre would have slit her throat, and would have held Lydia in her warm arms as Lydia’s own heat spilled out of her in just a few short seconds. Deirdre had been calling. Because she had promised that Lydia would not die a bad death. Lydia could barely hear what was happening in the street back there, but she had seconds, and nowhere to go. 

 Lydia didn’t even realise she was reaching for her phone before she’d even decided. She was still looking around as her thumb tapped the screen. Deirdre was on speeddial, but that didn’t mean she would pick up fast. Lydia could hear only her heartbeat faster that the dial tone. Buzz, thumpthumpthum, buzz- “I rel-” but the voice on the other line wasn’t Deirdre’s at all. It took another precious second to place the panicked tones, for Lydia to recognise  Morgan’s voice. Lydia almost sobbed at the sudden relief of it, hearing it for the first time since Morgan had told her goodbye on that awful day. Lydia caught words and snippets, barely able to piece the words together. There wasn’t time. “Deirdr- Morgan, DEIRDRE, NOW!” Lydia yelled, stifling a pitiful sound against her lip. She could barely make out what Morgan said as Lydia scrabbled to hide behind an air vent, leaning her head against the cool metal. “I relinquish you,” she breathed, the single most important thing Deirdre needed to know.  The red thread that bound them together dropped away and Lydia sobbed for its disappearance. She couldn’t hear anyone nearby, so she hurriedly tripped over her words, trying to whisper what she needed Deirdre (and Morgan, by extension) to hear. “I love you, you’re the best fae in that town, no matter what anyone says, you’re like a sister to-”

 Rage mixed with adrenaline and the heady combination urged Luce’s legs forward, even as pain radiated up her leg with every step she took. She trailed after Lydia, the spear heavy in her left hand, the knife bloody in her right. Fire burned within her, the magic begging to be released. But she couldn’t, not now. Not yet. Luce limped towards the alleyway that Lydia had run down, the spear point dragging against the asphalt as she rounded the corner. Looking around, Luce’s gaze fell on the woman screaming into her phone, clutching it like it was a lifeline. Without a word, Luce raised her hand and hurled the knife back at Lydia, sending it flying towards her. It missed, bouncing off the side of the building behind the Fae woman, but that wasn’t the point. She didn’t care if it landed because the second it had left her finger tips, the witch had thrown herself forward, spear raised and ready. Luce lunged forward, using momentum and anger to carry her. The speartip pierced through the flesh of Lydia’s shoulder, but Luce continued onwards, a ragged shout ripping through her throat as she forced the spear through the woman’s shoulder and pinned her to the wall of the alleyway. Staggering backwards, arms shaking from the effort, Luce glared at the woman. She said nothing, because there was nothing left for her to say. She was going to die here, die gasping and bleeding and in so much pain. And with her would die the threat that Lydia posed to Bea, to Nell, to her mother, to all of White Crest. 

 Athena continued to follow Luce and Lydia closely. She found the two of them turning down an alleyway, and straightened her posture, slipping another one of her knives out from its hiding space and she watched, a smirk crossing her face, as Luce threw her knife at Lydia. Lydia whimpering into the phone. Athena walked up towards where Lydia was, turning her head curiously as she had those many days of dissections during her biology classes in high school. She wouldn’t go that far, now - that would be too much and might make police do more investigative work than would be good for anyone involved, but she wanted Lydia to hurt. “You know, I don’t think calling for help is going to do you much good.” She hummed to herself before she moved a few steps closer and took one first cut against Lydia’s shoulder blade. “That must burn, mustn't it? Though I believe in balance so…” She flipped the knife in her hand, grateful that the satisfaction of hurting someone like Lydia did at least something to lessen the searing pain in her broken arm. “I’ll go for the other one, too. Not the heart yet, though I am curious about if someone who has behaved in the way that you have even has one to speak of.” Athena held her knife close to Lydia’s jawline. “Don’t try to move. I’m quick on my feet, and it seems as though she is too,” she glanced over to Luce. “I’ve got more where this one came from.” 

 As usual Winston was the last to arrive. It didn’t really matter, they were still pretty concerned for Rio and would’ve much rather been checking on him. However, he was tough, whether or not he admitted it, the poor guy had been through more then many had and still managed to retain his kindness and compassion which was honestly no small feat. Yet despite all of that Winston knew that they had to stop Lydia once and for all. Their life wouldn’t be okay until then. She’d interfered too much. With Todd, with Rio, in their own life, it was all… concerning. Swallowing, Winston rounded the corner to see Lydia pinned painfully in place. She looked… well almost pathetic frankly. Pinned to a wall, helpless, covered in wounds and hurting. Winston couldn’t say anything, there was nothing to say, all they could do was watch with an almost morbid curiosity. 

 Like everything else, Lydia did not hear Luce approaching in the same way she could not hear what, if anything, Deirdre was saying in reply, the last words she might ever hear, stolen from her because of a scream. She gasped as the knife whipped past her face, stumbling back. The phone slipped out of her hands, the one good thing she could have accomplished done. The spear pierced through her shoulder, sizzling and searing her flesh as it went under her collarbone, and hit against her shoulder blade. Lydia screamed as it caught there, scraping against the bone as Luce drove it even further forward. The bone cracked and wrenched her shoulder down as the spear pushed it out of place, driving through her back and piercing the metal vent behind her. Lydia shrieked as her legs gave out and the burning iron ate at her flesh. Every thrash of her limbs spilled fresh blood down her clothes until she managed to get her legs under her again, supporting just enough weight that the spear wasn’t pressing quite so hard against her clavicle. She tried to grab the spear with her hand, only for blisters to grow and burst, pus leaking out of her hand. Lydia’s glamour fell, skin glowing, damaged wing on show, her ears extended. Her irises looked even more iridescently blue while bloodshot and tearstained. Lydia stared at Athena in confusion. 

 “No- please-” Lydia whimpered, “I haven’t done anything to you I haven-AAAGH!” Lydia screamed at the simple iron cut on her other side, crushing part of the vent as she jerked from the pain, almost passing out. But that would have been too kind, the sharp agony forcing her awake, sobbing disgustingly as  Athena held the knife to her chin, and her flesh began to blister too, the rancid smell of overcooked barbeque cloying her senses. From the corner of her eye, she saw Winston approach too. “I’ll give you Todd back!” She cried, “I’ll relinquish him, you won’t know the difference, but you have to let me go. Please, Winston, I can’t- I’ll let him go!” Whatever brief acceptance of death there had been in the quiet was gone now as Lydia rabidly tried to pull any threads of fae promise to work in her favour. She looked back to the glimmer of satisfaction in Athena’s eyes, and realised how close they were. “Please, just let me go,” she whimpered, filling her mouth with toxic saliva. “Please, please, you don’t have to do this,” Lydia reared her head back slightly then spat in Athena’s face, watching the glob of spit run down Athena’s cheek. Maybe this wasn’t it after all, hope flickering like a candle in a storm. “Help me leave, please!”

 Winston swallowed at the mention of Todd. He was their friend. He had been their friend for more time then Winston had known about all of this and although there was literally no proof that knowing Winston had anything to do with Todd becoming involved with Lydia, Winston couldn’t help but feel profoundly responsible for everything that had happened to him. Swallowing, Winston considered everything, but they doubted that either Luce or Athena would let anything happen and Winston was pretty sure that the promise would’ve been broken by her death. “I’m sorry Lydia, but it’s not really my choice, I know you took him and I know you think he’s yours to return, but Todd doesn’t belong to anyone and that sort of thinking, treating humans as if they belong to someone-- as if they’re objects to be traded and bargained with … that’s too dangerous to be…” they couldn’t say it. They might be a killer now. They might be responsible for deaths and they might’ve done wrong but Winston couldn’t admit to it. “It’s out of my hands.” They looked at Athena and Luce, wondering what would happen next. 

 Luce turned her back on Lydia, limping away from the scene as Winston and Athena closed in. She braced herself against the wall at the edge of the alley while the blood continued to drip down her leg. She was weaponless now and her fire wouldn’t do much to stop anyone who was caught in Lydia’s thrall. But, she had to do something to make sure people couldn’t just stop them. This needed to end. Lydia needed to die. And she’d done her part, she’d helped get Athena where she needed her to be. Luce gritted her teeth as she listened to the screaming, the begging, the pleading. In those moments, she could almost forget what Lydia was capable of. Almost. But, she could never forget what she’d seen that day in the woman’s mansion. With a stubborn determination, Luce knocked over a large stack of empty plastic crates, hoping they’d block the alley from the people who were no doubt clawing at their wire confines. “I don’t know how long we have here.” Luce called over her shoulder as she leaned heavily against the wall, pressing her hand against the wound on her leg in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

 She could hear Lydia screaming, and it did little else other than further spark her curiosity. Athena figured that perhaps she ought to have flinched more than she did at the scream, but she’d watched countless operations that her father had performed, and so the screaming of a fae did little to cause a reaction. Instead, it felt good, right, and although she didn’t like to think about what similarities she held to her father (not now, not now - not when she still couldn’t help but hear her parents’ words, sometimes), she did know that she felt this way; that this much was true. Winston had arrived now, without her brother, and she didn’t want to focus on whatever was going on with Ri, right now - because hyperfocus on her brother and whatever he was going through was only going to serve to distract her, and that would increase the likelihood of failing at what she’d set out to do.

 If she were someone kinder, gentler (more like her brother, she thought) then Lydia’s pleading might have done more to work its way into her heart. Athena had long ago shut herself off from feeling anything when she hunted. It didn’t do her any good, and it was part of why she was so often very successful. Shutting out everything else permitted her to be single minded, and all of a sudden she felt something wet against her cheek and her hand flew up to touch it, fingers brushing along her cheek. Well, Lydia may have been cunning in many other ways, but still had yet to figure out that Athena was a warden. “That kind of thing doesn’t work on me.” She giggled, and the sound was off, she knew that much, but everything was all happening so fast and she heard - noted - Luce’s words - they were in public and though Lydia now very much looked as inhuman as she was, it didn’t mean that people wouldn’t come running and wouldn’t come wondering about all the screaming. She shook her head. “No, you made a terrible, horrible, very bad mistake.” She ran her knife along Lydia’s jaw then. She wanted her to suffer - for what she was but now, moreover, for all the harm that she’d caused. For what she’d made Ri do, for what she’d made Ariana do, for the fact that she surpassed the normal vileness of Leanan-Sidhe and kept humans in her basement. 

 Her arm still hurt - she did her best to not focus on that either, even though it meant that she couldn’t quite do her normal handiwork. So one-handed it would have to be. Athena took her knife again, though its color was stained darker from her handiwork thus far. She hated how public their location was, despite being off to the side in an alleyway. It meant that she probably couldn’t let Lydia suffer as painful of a death as she would have wished for her to. “Are you afraid?” Her lips fell into a small smile, eyes staring straight at Lydia. She was severely injured - had been, to a point it seemed before everyone present had gotten ahold of her. Her knife sliced through Lydia’s clothing, cutting into her skin just below her heart. Not straight to the heart, that would have been too much of a mercy. Athena had memorized the most effective ways to kill, and though she’d granted her parents that to a degree, she couldn’t bring herself to, now. “She’s almost gone.” She murmured, her voice halfway vacant, not fully present. She’d checked out towards the end sometimes during her father’s surgeries in their home. “It won’t be long now, I don’t think.” Voice monotone, she turned to look at Winston. “I did what I had to do.”

 What Winston saw in that moment would stain their memory forever. Like a black spot in their mind it would continue to haunt their dreams. The way that Athena worked, the efficiency of the knife and the way that it cut through Lydia was the stuff of nightmares. But what would really bother them was how they hadn’t intervened. After all, she’d deserved it. She’d hurt so many people, she deserved this pain. She deserved to feel some of the torment that she had made so many other people feel. Though in their heart of hearts Winston was sure that wasn’t true; they knew better then to allow someone else to suffer and they would regret this for the rest of their life. Once it was all over, and Lydia lay their suffering, Winston … swallowed. Shaking themselves out of their daze, Winston scooped up the abandoned spear that Luce had left behind and tentatively held it for a moment. “I’m sorry I didn’t do this sooner…” was all they could manage to say. Their voice was barely a whisper. Their fingers tensed around the shaft of the spear before they drove it through Lydia’s heart. Blood sprayed out of the wound covering Winston’s hands, but they didn’t care. They might not have done the right thing earlier but it wasn’t too late to try and make things better. “It’s time to go.” They couldn’t make eye contact with Athena, they couldn’t look at Luce, they just had to get out of here and find Todd and make sure Rio was okay. 

 Lydia had heard the dying thoughts and fears of nearly fifty humans, she had thought she knew what it was to fear death. She had felt with startling clarity what it was to have the last tendrils of your life gently coaxed out of you after years of suffering. Nothing that prepared her for this, as Athena dragged the burning hot blade along her jaw, cutting through the burns to make fresh ones. With every cut, Athena tore apart every thread of Lydia’s sense of self, her voice hoarse as she wailed and wept. Eventually, even her begging was reduced to unintelligible gibberish, but for Athena, even that wasn’t enough. Perhaps the only mercy Regan had left her was that Lydia could not completely make out Athena’s last taunts over the pounding of her heart as Athena scraped her blade against the ridges of Lydia’s sternum, burning flesh and bone alike. 

 Every scream should have been wrung out of her, but Athena managed to tear one more out of her wretched lungs as Athena drove her knife between Lydia’s ribs. Her diaphragm and lungs bubbled and blistered under the harsh heat of the cold iron. Her vision still did not blacken, the very pain of dying keeping her awake. Like a tease, Death did not offer any reprieve quite yet as Lydia began to slowly choke on the trickle of blood that seeped into her lungs. She sobbed and tried to call Athena back to end it, not to leave her here like a bug pinned in a museum, but Athena did not turn back. Lydia saw Winston approach, but did not really see them at all, not even as they pulled the spear out of her shoulder. She did not hear their whispered apology, nor could she understand their expression, but she barely made a sound as they shattered her sternum. Her heart convulsed around the spear once, twice, and came to a final, shuddering halt. 

 There was a scream and then there was silence. Luce looked back down the alley, eyes going first to Athena, who had a ghost of a smile on her face, then to Winston, their hands covered in blood. And then to Lydia. Or rather, the body that had once been her. Remorse wasn’t a thing that she felt, not for the Fae woman. But, this was dirty work, hard work. And Winston had been the one to finish it. They shouldn’t have had to do that. Forcing herself into motion, Luce braced herself against the side of the wall as she made her way back to where Lydia’s body lay. “Hey,” She said quietly as she rested her clean hand on Winston’s shoulder, “We did what we had to do. For all the people she’s hurt, and for the lives she would have taken. We did what we had to.” Whatever it takes. The mantra returned to her mind and Luce sighed. But when would that end? 

 “You guys should go ahead. Get Rio, get him out of here. I’ll… clean this up.” Luce said with a nod, gesturing to the crumpled heap of Lydia’s body. Grasping the spear, she pulled it free from the corpse. It slid free with a sticking, wet noise and the body slumped over on the alley way. With an impassive gaze, Luce stared down at the body before her. She’d done what was right. She’d done what she had to. She did what she needed to make sure that the people she cared for were safe. Lydia would never hurt anyone again, she’d never bend them to her will. This was the right thing. 

 A circle of blue flame sprang to life around the body. Luce watched the tongues dance as she urged them higher, to burn hotter, to close in. The flames obeyed and she watched as flesh and blood, cloth and wing, give way to the fire. A thick acrid scent filled the air and Luce stepped back, her eyes watering from the intensity. It was the easiest way, the simplest solution. But, it was messy. She didn’t want Athena or Winston to see this, didn’t want them to see the way the flesh melted from the bone as the fire consumed it all. Didn’t want to have them watch the way the woman’s wings began to slowly crumble under the heat. Gritting her teeth, Luce fed more magic to the flames and watched Lydia burn.

 Winston swallowed dryly at Luce’s words as they made their way out of the alley, they knew that they had done what they had to do, but in the last year it had simply felt like they had been doing what they had had to do. They had lost so much doing what they had had to do. They had seen friends die. They had seen friends hurt. They had been hurt and they had killed. Was it two times? Three times? How had they lost count? Lydia, August, cultists, vampires. What counted as killing and what didn’t? Where was the line? Where could Winston truly say that they were able to accept what they had done. When were they going to be honest and say that they’d let this go too far. Having power … as cliche as it was meant there was responsibility … they should be better than this. The lump in their throat wouldn’t go and the blood on their hands wouldn’t stop glistening. Winston knew that Luce was right. They needed to go. “At what point do we start taking responsibility for the things we’ve done, irrespective of why we’ve done it?” Winston didn’t need an answer, after all there probably wasn’t one. Heading away from the alley, they moved back to Rio and wrapped an arm tightly under his armpit, struggling to haul him to his feet they began to head away from this, away from the now charred corpse of Lydia, away from the acrid smell of burning flesh that hung in the air.

 Orion wasn’t sure how long they had been out, only that he finally began to stir back to consciousness by being pulled onto his feet. It took a moment for Rio to adjust to the shifting before he finally jolted, stumbling forward and almost falling out of Winston’s grasp entirely. They caught him, but the sudden movement stirred a sinking migraine that had already been looming. “Wha-” He couldn’t exactly form coherent words or sentences at first. The first thing Rio was truly able to focus on was the burning pain in his side. He grabbed at it, more pain prickling up his skin as he let the memories slowly come back to him. As he began to remember what had led to him waking up here, he realized that he didn’t have the words to say, even if he could manage to speak them. How could he have been so stupid? How many people had he hurt, either directly or indirectly, by helping that woman? He wanted to cry. To scream and curse and punch the ground. But all of those actions were pointless. He couldn’t take back what he had done. He certainly couldn’t punch the pain away. “I’m going to be sick” was the first sentence he managed, breaking away from Winston’s grasp and falling against the grass. Catching himself on his palms and knees, Rio lost the little food and water he had in him. Was this caused by his guilt? The increasingly strong smell that he couldn’t ignore anymore? Maybe it was punishment for failing to complete his promise. Was trying enough? Or was he stuck with whatever consequences came from breaking a fae promise? If it was, Rio deserved whatever it had in store for him. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry. I don’t- I can’t believe-” At a loss for words again, Rio stopped trying. He just wanted to go home.

 Winston had finished off the job, and Athena’s lips twisted around for a moment, unsure of what to make of that. It was a final mercy, and Lydia didn’t deserve that, but it was final, which meant there was no chance of her coming back. Rio. Luce’s words cut through to her and she nodded, she had to find her brother. She grabbed a handkerchief out of her pocket, running it along the blade, moving as she’d been taught, not thinking about it - and she followed Winston out of the alleyway as the smell of burning flesh cut through the air. It was no use to focus on that right now - it was better to think of it as nothing more than when one of the kids on the soccer team had found a dead squirrel in the summer heat. That was all this was, and any other thought wouldn’t do anybody any good. In fact, recalling that particular memory was too kind for what Lydia had done. 

 She spotted her brother, but before she could reach out to him, Winston had grabbed ahold of him - which was probably better, because now that she didn’t have Lydia’s body, Lydia’s death, the feeling of the knife cutting into flesh to focus on, she could feel the pain shoot up her arm, bruising where Rio had grabbed it and snapped it. Athena shook her head. She’d get to the hospital whenever they got back to White Crest. “You don’t need to say sorry.” She said, walking over to where her brother and Winston were. “That wasn’t you, back there.” Athena wasn’t quite sure how much of whatever she was saying was getting through to her brother; she only knew that she hated seeing him like this. It was only more proof that what she’d done to Lydia was all worth it. “You’re fine. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you or anyone else ever again.” She tucked away the knife, a small giggle threatening to escape from her lips - perhaps from some combination of relief and desperate, still-present worry for her brother, she wasn’t sure. It didn’t make it, and instead Athena knelt next to her brother for a moment, brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead, as gently as she could. “Everything’s alright now. I -” she looked up at Winston, looked over toward the alleyway, “we all dealt with it. Everything’s okay. I won’t let anyone try to hurt you ever again.” Another pause. “We won’t. You are stronger than you think. I’ve got proof of that. Now, I think we should get out of here, yeah?”

[kat-hawke]

Preparations

(Following [Returning Home] & [Cover to Cover, for You and I])

The greater part of Kat's afternoon had been spent in the hidden basement level of her home, hunched over the workbench with various materials scattered around her. Things were both procured and stolen from Mechagon, Zandalar, and Kul Tiras. Most notably of which was the sack of powdered azerite with the Ashvane logo printed on the front. The second being the mechanical hand, half disassembled and modified to fit over her own like a gauntlet.

At a slow and deliberate pace, Kat repaired the leather bracers around her wrist. She was dragging the thread through powdered azerite as the mechanical hand stitched the tears together with inhuman precision. The old runic seals were systematically replaced, re-etched in the leather, and imbued with the azerite powdered before completion. While she worked, she could feel the subtle pulls of emotion from the dagger at her thigh; Alyssa was no doubt watching her soul and every reaction. Kat could feel her hunger for power each time she touched the azerite, and the fluxes in her soul with each prod of the bracers.

Dismissing the other woman's emotions, Kat pressed on. These preparations had to be completed. The bracers were not an option in her life anymore.

As she worked, memories of the dream-like state of her coma replayed, the final one in particular. 'We had a deal — I will get what is owed.' The voice of Erzis echoed over and over in her head as she questioned where the void-born being escaped to and what havoc it was causing. Kat refrained from going to the cave Erzis had been bound to since her return.

Sprinkling another pinch of powdered azerite into a new seal on the bracer, Kat's thoughts were interrupted by Alyssa's abrupt interjection.

"By the time this whole thing ends, I might be hooked on the stuff too.  Riley used it to fuel me."

Kat looked over at the bottles of liquid azerite as she paused her work. "Didn't just have her murder people?"

"Just one," Alyssa answers honestly, "and that was to test its effect on the piece of soul you left me."

"Well, probably for the better then. We don't need a bigger mess than what we already have." Pursing her lips as she returned to work, Kat moved a magnifying glass over the bracer to inspect the finer details for imperfections.

"Yeah, I'm trying to ease back my kill count," Alyssa's tone a bit sardonic. "I also hadn't met Riley before, didn't know anything about her or what I could ask...to save you though, she was game for anything it took."

A smile pulled across Kat's lips as she responded over the telepathic connection. "That doesn't surprise me. She and I are alike in a few ways, stubbornness and determination among them. Riley's had my back, and I've had hers for a while now. Come a long way from hardly trusting each other when we first met." Glancing off to the side, Kat looked to the damaged set of custom armor. "I guess, in a way, she'd been keeping me safe for years. Still feel bad about nearly bleeding out on her floor, though."

"Got the sense of that. She cares a lot. I'm glad I got to work with her. If anyone else were going to have the dagger, I'd trust it to be her."

"You'd have loved it if Sarah had found the dagger." Kat teased, realizing how accustomed she had become to having Alyssa's voice always around. She didn't linger on the thought, returning her focus to infusing the bracers.

"She'd have thrown me into the ocean first chance she got, I bet. Think she'd have been glad to no longer have me in the world."

"Sarah? Never." Kat's sarcasm was painfully obvious. "She might have used you as a prop in one of her shows. You could have been famous. If you ever made your presence known to her, that is."

"If she'd been the one to find the dagger, I would've," Alyssa replies after a pause of consideration. "I would've taken anyone I could get to try and save you."

"Mhm. Well, she should remain in her bubble of naivety."

"Agreed."

"The less she knows th—" Pain seared against the flesh and cut Kat's sentence short. A miscalculation resulted in the azerite burning through the leather, reaching the skin below.

"What's wrong?" Alyssa inquired in a flash of concern.

"Nothing," Kat grunted out as she removed the mechanical gauntlet from her hand to aptly strip the bracer from her wrist.

Alyssa's exasperation was palpable in the connection. "What caused you pain."

"I burned myself, it's fine."

"Your aura's been doing interesting things for the last while.  What are you working on?" Alyssa probed further.

"Fixing the bracers you broke," Kat stated, careful not to allow emotion into the thought as the leather was pulled from her wrist, the crudely carved and scarred over rune in her flesh exposed. Immediately she felt the effects of her waring soul threatening to become unstable. The unstable sensation was short-lived as Alyssa interfered, and Kat suddenly felt ill. Vision blurred, and the stomach churned, cold sweat began to collect on her brow.

"I don't remember breaking them. I remember that they broke." 

"I remember warning you they would break after you got all hocus pocus in there and damaged them the first time." Only a faint hint of spite touched her tone as a palm pressed against the workbench to keep her stable. "Whatever you just did, I am not enjoying it."

"I remember we might both be dead if I didn't.  It's not like I 'hocus pocus' for the fun of it." Alyssa promptly replies. "I imagine this isn't comfortable, but it will hold things until the bracer is in place again. Your soul really doesn't like to be...wrangled? Is that the word?"

"I don't care to be wrangled either. I've had hangovers more enjoyable than whatever this is." Curled knuckles lifted to Kat's lips, feeling as if she was going to vomit.

"You'll like this better than what it feels like if your soul rips itself in half, I bet."

"I can at least manage that, thank you." Kat spat back as she hastily and carelessly wrapped a single layer of bandage around the burn. With another disoriented sway, she had to grip the edge of the workbench, taking a deep breath to steady herself and fasten the bracer back on her wrist without hesitation.

Abruptly shifting the topic, Kat inquired, "Can you manage excess energy any better now?" 

"I don't expend much energy, nor take much in since then, so I don't know the answer,"  Alyssa replies honestly as her magic faded, and Kat's head cleared again.

That wasn't the answer Kat was hoping for. Turning to face the sack of powdered azerite, she pulled the dagger from its sheath as she stood. "Well, then. This is probably going to be unpleasant."

"What am I bracing for?" Alyssa asked in concern.

"Remember the Vale?" Kat looked down at the glowing engravings upon the dagger's blade. The pang of pain twisted her gut as she thought back to the time the blade went dormant.

"I used the most powerful Pandaren soul we had to restart your soul."

"That's unfortunate..." Kat trailed off. It was a minor detail, but no longer critical. "I meant the fight when I...thought I killed you."

"You're talking about the amount of energy that you used me to deflect?" Alyssa was seeking clarification, still concerned.

"Before that?" Suddenly Kat realized she was having trouble recalling the order of events as if the memory had been damaged. "You did something to cause a swell of energy, which I surged over the dagger."

"Oh..." Alyssa replies, she sounds more sheepish and less sure now. “I did something someone like me never should. I channeled the Light."

"Interesting," Kat says in that way, indicating she would revisit the subject at a later time. "You won't need to do that, I don't think, and I'd rather not experience that level of pain again, even if it was enjoyable." She quickly skips over that admittance. "It's the level of power in the attack I'd rather focus on."

"Okay...power I can do. The negative side effects on me had more to do with the Light's effects on me. I should be able to handle that level in magics I'm more comfortable with."

Kat pulled her lips inward as she looked from the dagger to the pile of powder, spinning the handle over in her hand for a downward plunge. "Just think of it as training." Without any real warning, the blade was buried in the azerite, and Kat took a step, arms crossing over her chest as she stared at the exposed handle.

She knew that any confrontation with Erzis would result in a fight, and she knew that in their current state, Alyssa would likely be a collateral casualty if the blade made contact with the lesser void lord. Kat could remember stabbing the faceless in the Vale, and the resulting destruction she was able to reap with the dagger. It was both the level of power and reassurance Alyssa could survive she wished to recreate.

Minutes passed as Kat chewed her lower lip, watching the teal glow of the engravings flicker with blue and gold hues. In Kul Tiras, they had coated their blades with the same powder; this would have the same result in theory. Once the azerite around the blade turned a pale gray, Kat yanked the dagger free.

"How do you feel?" She quickly asked.

"Dazed," Alyssa's voice was garbled, hard to make out. "Drunk."

Not precisely what Kat was expecting.

"On a scale of one to ten, how equal is this to the instance in the vale?"

"I'm conscious," Alyssa replies, still sounding a bit out of it. "Eight?"

"Can you expel any of the energy?" Kat watched as the flicker along the dagger engravings became less frantic.

"Out of the dagger?" Sounding foggy, Alyssa was trying to follow the question.

Kat rolled her eyes, patience wearing thin. "No. Into the nether..." 

Almost immediately after her sarcastic quip, the glow of the dagger suddenly swelled. Kat's eyes widened as strands of her hair lifted with the palpable energy in the air. Panicked, she turned around, making an effort swing the dagger towards the empty stone wall, but it was too late. The excess energy erupted from the dagger, scorching the wall and sending Kat tumbling to the floor in the opposite direction.

The sound of the dagger bouncing on the floor couldn't be heard over the ringing in Kat's ears. Dazed and disoriented, she slowly pushed herself back up, grunting as she held what was likely a bruised rib or two. Staggering her way across the basement, she scooped the dagger up off the floor.

"Okay," Kat grunted in pain, "not what I was planning."

"Sorry," Alyssa replies, "could barely hold it."

"It's fine. I'm used to it." Kat breathed out a faint sigh of relief upon hearing Alyssa's reply. "How do you feel?"

"Disoriented, confused. The last few minutes are a blur...I feel like I have a hangover." 

"That's better than dead." Kat attempted at humor as she approached the powdered azerite once more. "Ready to try again?"

"Are we in an open space?"

"Open enough." Kat looked over at the scorched wall.

"Hit me then. Tell me now what you want me to do with it, though."

"In the Vale I swept the energy over the dagger in a wide swing. The resulting wave cleaved everything within its path in half." Kat paused, speculating something. "Trying to recreate that, but something is different here."

"Maybe it wasn't the Light I was thinking of..." Alyssa attempted to recall the event. "This was when you gave me the azerite?"

"I wanted the power, and you were hesitant to give it. I remember panicking when you did, then the attack." Kat walks Alyssa through it. "I remember the pain, the amount of power, and I remember pushing it back over the blade."

"You were fighting the Faceless." 

"I was, yeah." 

Alyssa went quiet for a moment as Kat continued to stand over the powder. "Even if we figure this out, it won't matter anymore once I'm not in it."

Kat skips right over that comment, a thought she didn't want to entertain. Her paranoia and fear of betrayal kept her up at night as it was.

"The difference is that I pushed the energy over, or through, you. Because you passed it to me after I stabbed the faceless." She spoke as if having a revelation, looking down at the blade as it all suddenly made sense.

"I don't know if it was ours. I saw the city. It could have been an offering of power to tempt us." Alyssa paused a moment before moving on. "Let's try again then. I'll store the energy and siphon it into you."

Without a second thought, Kat buried the dagger into the powder a second time, letting go of the handle and taking a step back. Just as before, the teal glow within the engravings flickered with the subtle blue and golden hues of the azerite.

Watching with bated breath, Kat chewed on her thumbnail, mind racing as Alyssa's single comment effectively sent her paranoid thoughts into motion. The fear of abandonment ripping into her gut as she considered the possibility of a whole-again Alyssa walking out, or even turning the dagger against her. For a brief moment, she contemplated the option of using the trapped soul as payment for Erzis, to change the terms of their deal and cut off any plans of betrayal.

Shaking her head and returning to the present, Kat dismissed the dangerous lines of thought and reached out to pull the dagger from the now depleted azerite. "You okay?"

"Mmm..." Alyssa sounded more dazed than the first time, but she alive.

"Still better than dead." Stated simply before Kat siphoned energy from the dagger.

The sensation of which felt intoxicating. The swell of power and numbness to the brain as pure power flowed from her fingers and over the bracers, which fortunately held. She could feel Alyssa attempting to control the flow of energy, but Kat practically inhaled it all at an alarming rate. 

The pain of the overcharge was nothing new for Kat, but every time felt like the first. As if her skin would tear to shred and energy would pour from every wound. Eyes burned and felt as if they'd burst under pressure, the pained howl she screamed out always did little to mitigate the pain. If Alyssa had said something, she couldn't hear it. 

Kat lunged forward without hesitation, sweeping the dagger in a wide arc and forcing the excessive swell of energy back over the blade. Just as it had in the Vale in a line of pure power was sent out in a wave, cleaving several feet through the stone wall of the basement and the earth behind it.

A pleased hum was all Kat could manage as she went light-headed, swaying on her feet as she reached out to plant a hand on the wall for stability. Looking at the dagger, she was happy to see the glow still present. "You— You alright?"

"Mmm," Alyssa groaned again in response. "Hangover...but...yeah. Kind of not sure if it's actually better than being dead."

"With the former, I'm not alone." Kat doesn't elaborate as she leaned her back against the wall, eyes shut as her head felt swimmy. "That was better, not ideal, but better."

"It's draining...and I don't know if I could hold it long before we use it." Alyssa also sounded exasperated.

"We can probably skip the first part, go right...to..." Haphazardly Kat's sentence trails off as she slides down the wall to the floor, the dagger still in her hand as it goes limp in her lap, head falling to one side as she blacks out from overexertion.

[ @alyssa-ward​ ] [ Brief Mentions: @blue-eyedraven​, @tirasiantrouper​ ]

( [Chapter I] [Chapter II] [Chapter III] [Chapter IV] ) ( [pt.I] [pt.II] [pt.III] [pt.IV] [pt.V] [pt.VI] )