#since i am a pragmatist

[hymnsofheresy]

you aren't obligated to ever label your sexuality btw. you can just have sex, hang out with people, and fall in love. labels can be useful, for both navigating what kind of relationships you desire as well as political organization. but if identifying yourself as something is debilitating, you are under no obligation to use that label even if you definitionally "align" with that label. nor are you obligated to tell everyone (or anyone) about your sexuality. you can also wear labels like a fun hat, and put it on & take it off whenever.

[sisterdivinium]

It might appear somewhat essentialist at first if used to examine real, breathing human beings, but Carol Gilligan's "Images of relationship" can provide an interesting framework with which to understand certain facets of Warrior Nun. More so when coupled with David Hayter's comment on how the show's "women are always right and the men are always kind of screwing things up," for her article, dealing in systems of moral understanding, might point us towards the reasons behind this openly admitted narrative "bias".

In a nutshell, Gilligan observes the different strategies by which boys and girls seem to resolve moral dilemmas, deviating from traditional interpretation. This is because, Rosemarie Tong reminds us, "Gilligan challenged the Freudian notion that men have a well-developed sense of justice — a sense of morality — whereas women do not". By looking beyond these hurried and prejudiced conclusions of (male) researchers before her, she "argued instead that men and women have different conceptions of morality, each equally coherent and developed and equally valid". She bases this idea, then, on those resolution strategies that were found to consist of, for boys, a tendency to see the moral dilemma as "sort of like a math problem with humans", while the girls were more inclined to view it as "a narrative of relationships that extends over time" — so if boys seemed "logical" through their impersonal abstraction of a situation, invoking concepts similar to those of law and justice, the girls were more likely to follow a different, "personal" logic, through "an awareness of the connections between people", identifying "a web of relationships that is sustained by a process of communication".

Where this all intersects with Warrior Nun is that the male and female characters seemingly display these same propensities of moral judgment.

If we start with the men, we will quickly see that they are all caught up in their own abstract systems, prone to grand ideas and concepts while detached from the world and the valuable human bonds that make it up, just as Vincent sees the quest for a hypothetical "better world" as more important than the life of a very real, concrete woman he claims to love. Mr. Hayter himself, in the same interview conceded during the OCS Conclave of June 3rd, mentions how father Vincent and cardinal William are irresistibly attracted to the notion of power: "here's this guy who can do godlike things, so why wouldn't I follow him, you know? ... We gotta have some power ... that we bow down to or whatever". This is how he transmits a glimpse into these characters' psyches and we could safely argue that this behaviour and thought pattern extends to the rest of the men in the show, including Duretti, Kristian, Adriel and even Michael Salvius.

Whether these men mask their fascination with power through other words or not, theirs is a cause which easily calls for violence and a willingness to kill or die for it.

Earthly power inspires Francesco Duretti to have the current halo bearer killed if need be as he attempts to consolidate his bid on the Holy See; Kristian Schaefer would sacrifice the world as readily as he does his old acquaintance Duretti in the name of this power that lay entombed for a thousand years but communicated through the voice of a sick little boy; cardinal William Foster is inebriated with the idea of being a new god's right-hand man, so he brutally slaughters his colleagues to buy himself a place at Adriel's table, even if that means getting no more than his master's crumbs; father Vincent is so eager to find someone or something powerful enough to take the burden of "his darkness" from atop his shoulders that he convinces himself of there being divinity in the parlour tricks of a manipulator, killing a symbolic daughter in this trickster's name; Adriel would bleed humanity dry without a second thought all the while claiming to save it in draining its belief for the benefit of his own megalomania; finally, Michael subjects himself to the will and authority of Reya, whom he claims to be "unimaginably powerful".

Of course the women of Warrior Nun are mostly all ready to lay down their lives for their own cause as well, or else we wouldn't have their iconic motto of "in this life or the next", but the motivation behind it is what sets the men and the women wholly apart here. If the former are intoxicated by the concept of power, the latter are embedded in a family of sorts, in a dense network of relationships that they can identify with some ease, and which informs their decisions and actions more than just dogma or theory.

Most if not all of the female characters struggle between two different stances: one is an offshoot of the males' abstract organisation of the world, while the other is a more "hands-on", "organic" order; between "duty", or what is said to be their duty, and that which their own perception reveals, their "personal" logic by which the "self [is] delineated through connection", seeing one another as actual sisters instead of mere pieces upon the church's chess board. We see the dilemma take place within Beatrice, Camila, Lilith and Mother Superion, who are all faced with a choice of sticking to their place in a well-defined (artificial, abstract) structure or valuing instead the human connections all around them and that stand in opposition to this man-made categorisation of life.

And, one by one, they take the side of that one character who seems to have kept her lucidity and fidelity to her own understanding through it all: Mary.

Mary never lost sight of her priorities. Her focus on friends and sisters illustrates Gilligan's point rather well when she is the only one who insists on understanding what happened to Shannon all the while the OCS is made to concentrate its energies on the halo instead. Of course it blinds her to Vincent's betrayal, but that is his fault more than it is hers; her moral compass points at the right direction for the most part.

And, each at their turn, the nuns adopt (rediscover?) this same mode of thought. Beatrice's efficient, obedient soldier façade crumbles beneath the urgency of siding with Mary rather than following the arbitrary decision of some man invested with the power of an institution; Camila outright admits wanting to be kicked out of the church just so she can stay near to the people who represent her allegiance more than liturgy itself ever could; Lilith literally travels to hell and back to rejoin her sisters, regardless of how her subsequent mutations upset her loyalty later on; Mother Superion sheds her prominence within hierarchy, risking it all, by standing with "her girls". Even Ava, an outsider with no ties to the church but who so desperately wanted to "live", trades a vague, abstract notion of what "life" and "freedom" entail for the very definite, tangible reality of the family this group of women becomes for her.

Another outsider equally stuck between "bodiless" logic and the reality of human connection around her, Jillian Salvius, too, falters before choosing her side when faced with these two points of view: that of "pure" reasoning and that informed by the consciousness of surrounding relationships. Her quest for "knowledge" is not sufficiently strong so as to potentially sacrifice someone in her inner circle. Season one has her holding young Michael back from stepping into the machine she herself had created for this purpose when concern overrides calculation; season two gives us a powerful scene where she is tempted by Kristian into joining Adriel's ranks as he claims she is already a part of it all and dangles before her the forbidden fruit of the world's hidden laws, the elusive answers the scientist in her has always searched for. He tries to hook her in by simultaneously appealing to her intellectual interests as well as her understanding of the web of relationships when he claims she is another link in the chain that leads to Adriel...

And Jillian refuses him.

Kristian would never convince her of already being within this specific network of relationships because he was the one to rupture it first.

To these women, unlike the men, it's not about ideas — or, rather, about rationalisations, given how their interpretation of what is logical or reasonable is more than open to inquiry. To these women, it's not about loud, large but empty words vulnerable to tampering and shifting meanings; it's not about power.

It's about people.

Rosemarie Tong says "Gilligan believed that women's moral development takes her from an egocentric, or selfish position to an overly altruistic, or self-sacrificing position and, finally, to a self-with-others position in which her interests count as much as anyone else's" — and this seems to describe perfectly well the inner trajectory that these characters follow. We see traces of the selfish in Ava, Jillian and Lilith, as well as of the self-sacrificial in Beatrice or Suzanne, but they all appear to converge on this path towards constructing a "self-with-others" whereby they are all individuals inextricably tied to one another — and aware of it, acting accordingly. A sisterhood, a direct sisterhood that supersedes the very church structure which facilitated it to begin with.

Of course Warrior Nun is too intricately built to allow itself to be so smoothly explained; if Carol Gilligan provides a framework that helps us to identify what is so positive and deserving of attention in the female characters' attitudes as championed by one of the show's own writers, it also falls short on other points and her propositions can then be questioned by the show in turn.

We need but a few examples.

If Jillian Salvius values the significance of association with others more than she does a cold, distant overview of things (the latter being the stereotypical scientist attitude), then how is it that she seems so prepared to immolate Lilith at the altar of curiosity? One relationship takes precedence over the other, yes, and we cannot compare the love for a son to whatever affection or respect there is for anyone else, but the nature of Jillian's experimentation with Lilith, had it gone forward, is quite brutal even for the sake of a debilitated child. Jillian's stance is understandable, but this "self-with-others" thing isn't as clear-cut as we might think.

Lilith herself oscillates between those three positions of moral development described by Gilligan, going from selfish to "connected" by the end of season one, but ending season two in almost complete isolation, with only a hint towards her previous place in a web of sisters as she aids Beatrice in getting Ava to the ark... Shortly after having dug her claws into the warrior nun's flesh.

But perhaps Lilith is a more special case than we realise at first. Our early childhood experiences define much of our character, after all, and the words we use have a bearing on how we view and reconstruct the world in our discourse; Lilith's understanding of the relationships between people, of "family", probably doesn't reflect that of her sisters given the ill-treatment she must have received from her relatives. If one's primary web of relationships is so tainted, what model can it ultimately provide for later connections? Just as Ava's mistrust for nuns is justified by her previous, negative experiences at their hands, Lilith's experience with intimate or familial bonds surely affects her maturing sense of being linked to other people. If family is a positive value for Ava and Mary, for example, it cannot boast of the same meaning for Lilith, whose family is a source of stress and misunderstanding rather than a harbour of love.

The treatment she has received might have corrupted her grounds for moral judgment by communal lenses in a way Beatrice's rejection by her own parents did not, leaving Lilith adrift as long as she does not somehow attempt to re-signify what human connection ultimately means. To Lilith, as of yet, the web of relationships she necessarily belongs to mirrors the initial disposition she was brought up in, as a hierarchical structure where every link is tainted by the stench of power and domination — the OCS is a family much like her own... Where orders are given and meant to be obeyed.

We cannot know for certain what it is that she sees or feels after Adriel "unlocks" her wraith-vision, but there is something peculiar in how, reflecting this idea of abstract versus material views of the world we've been discussing, Lilith claims to see reality when she casts her eyes upon the nebulous demonic figures only few others can see. In her opposing traits are mixed, delivering a strange synthesis we cannot quite make out yet and making Lilith a hybrid both in body and in thought.

And while this fact alone seems to interrogate David Hayter's comment about how the women in the show tend to be correct, we can further complicate the statement by glancing at Reya.

There is frightfully little we know of her, but a lot of the information we do have is conflicting: Reya is unimaginably powerful, yet needs to manipulate two young people to do her bidding for her in fighting Adriel; her predictions are "meant to be" yet do not manifest in the way they were said to; she is described as some sort of benefactor by taking Michael in, but she sticks a bomb into his chest and the very sight of her sends him reeling; she is, as far as we know, a woman, yet she might very well be at odds with the other women we see in the show. How, then, are the women always right?

Perhaps they are so when following their conscience as guided by their understanding of community and sisterhood, when belonging to a network of relationships and acknowledging it. That would exclude a murderous sister Frances, a confused Lilith and a mysterious, distant Reya from the definition.

In this sense, then, even if the characters are not static or simple, even if they waver between the moral positions suggested by Gilligan and which do not seem all that definite to begin with, her text is still enlightening as relates to why the women are, "word of God", the moral touchstone of Warrior Nun.

Having been robbed of further development of the story and universe for the time being, however, precisely because of an abstracting, impersonal corporate logic that sees only numbers where there should be people and the wonderful effect this show has had on them, there is only so much we can conjecture on this subject...

[reasonandempathy]

The weird radical/revolutionary politic larpers on this site are so allergic to political pragmatism I swear lmao. I am definitely left of the Democratic Party and I am certainly voting for Joe Biden in November. Not because I like him (I don’t). He is absolutely horrific on Gaza and that’s only the top (and priority considering there is a genocide going on there) of a list of complaints I have about him. I even voted uncommitted in my state’s presidential primary (the Pennsylvania one; I had to write it in) to protest. However, I’m still thinking pragmatically. Trump has said things that make me credibly think he will be worse on Gaza (insane that being worse on Gaza than Biden is possible but it is unfortunately), and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Project 2025, the potential for him to appoint more deeply conservative justices, more of his aggressively screwing over poor and middle class people with his tax policies. And does anyone else remember the spike in hate crimes after the race was called for him in 2016? Before he was even inaugurated? Whether people vote or not in November we will still have to deal with one of these two men in office come January unless all of the internet ancom larpers overthrow the government by then (doubt), so I’d rather deal with the one who will be marginally less bad and who didn’t try to overthrow the government. Can’t have your revolution if nobody’s alive cause you kept pushing off politically participating because there was no perfect option. 👍

Political pragmatist anon, sorry for ranting in your askbox but I feel like I lose brain cells watching these people talk. The other day I saw someone say Biden is bad because Roe v. Wade fell under his administration… even though the reason for that was Trump appointed justices. 💀 (2/2)

Fucking insane. Sincerely.

It's a completely, flatly binary choice for anyone with a brain stem and sincerity. It's distilled into the two below images:

Where all major third party candidates are even on the ballot

How many electoral votes the largest of those (green party, a.k.a. Jill Stein) would win if they won every single state they're on the ballot for.

They are literally, legally, incapable of winning the election. They are not on enough state ballots to win and Jill Stein would need to somehow win California and Texas to even "win" all the states they're on the ballot for. Which, again, would still not be enough to win the presidency and throw it to the currently existing Republican House of Representatives. Which would put Trump in office.

It's that straightforward. That simple. That BLARINGLY obvious to literally everyone except these people.

On the one hand you have:

Significant and continuous support for Israel and it's genocide

Record levels of pardons for low-level drug offenses

the gearing up of the strongest anti-trust regime since the early 20th century

the most aggressive NLRB I've seen in my lifetime, with massive wins and institutional changes to help workers

Including getting Rail strike workers a week of sick-leave that gets paid out at the end of the year, which is better than NYC and LA sick leave laws

Millions of people (not enough) getting student debt forgiveness

Some trillion dollars (not enough)of investment in renewable resources and infrastructure

Proposed taxes on unrealized capital gains (a.k.a. how billionaires never have any money but can still buy Kentucky, Iowa, and Twitter)

Effectively an end to overdraft fees

The explicit support of leftist world leaders like Lula de Silva. Who he has explicitly worked with to expand worker rights in South America.

Has capped (some, not enough, only a tiny amount really but it's something) some drug prices, including Insulin.

Reduced disability discrimination in medical treatment

Billions in additional national pre-k funding

Ending federal use of private prisons

Pushing bills to raise Social Security tax thresholds higher to help secure the General Fund

Increasing SSI benefits

and more

vs

Said Israel should just nuke Gaza and "get it over with"

Personally takes pride in and credit for getting Roe v Wade overturned

Is arguing in court that the President should be allowed to assassinate political rivals

Muslim Ban Bullshit, insistently

Actively damages our global standing and diplomatic efforts just by getting obsessed with having a Big Button

Implemented massive tax cuts on ich people, tax hikes on middle class and poor people, and actively wants to do it again

"Only wants to be a dictator for a little bit, guys, what's the big deal"

Is loudly publicly arguing that the US shouldn't honor its military alliances after-the-fact

Tore up an effective and substantial anti-nuclear-proliferation treaty with Iran

Had a DoEd that actively just refused to process student debt forgiveness applications that have been the law of the land for decades now

Has a long record of actively curtailing and weakening the NLRB and labor movement, including allowing managers to retaliate against workers, weakened workplace accommodation requirements for disabled people, and more

Rubber stamped a number of massive mergers building larger, more powerful top companies and increasing monopolistic practices

Fucking COVID Bullshit and hundreds of thousands of unnecessary deaths

Openly supporting fascists and wannabe-bootlicks ("Very fine people" being only the beginning of it

It's really not fucking close.

[spatial-jump]

Spoilers for all episodes of the Umbrella Academy Season 4 and profanity below.

What the actual fuck was that finale?? Was I watching the same thing directors looked at and went, “Yeah, this is cool!”

Those last two episodes were a total shit show. An absolutely horrendous finale to a wonderful TV show.

The first thing I am so fucking pissed about is how they’ve written Five in this season. They ruined him. They tore apart the aloof apocalypse-obsessed arsehole who loves his family, destroyed it, spat on it, and then danced on the grave before crushing it under an anvil.

In no fucking timeline whatsoever would Five and Lila be a thing. I understand where some people would come from to defend it — that yes, they were both isolated for seven years and could only find company in each other, distorting their relationship as they sought comfort which mistakenly and incorrectly transpired into ‘love’. No, it’s messed up. It’s so fucking messed up and creates unnecessary drama that the writers probably wanted since they were undeniably lacking in the finale. When I first saw the camera angles and shots they were getting prior to Year Five in the subway, I was naïvely thinking, “Surely not. Please don’t tell me this is where I think it’s going.” And lo and behold, I was right. And I’ve never hated to be right so much in my entire life.

Lila (WHO HAS THREE ADORABLE CHILDREN WITH DIEGO, BY THE WAY) has known Five for absolutely ages — since he was in the body of a thirteen-year-old child. Mentally, he’s however many decades older. Regarding the actors, Aidan and Ritu, themselves, there is a fifteen-year gap between them. But my point is, Five is not a home-wrecker. Five is the type of character who would not deliberately fuck around with his brother’s wife because he absolutely adores his family. It’s not in the nature that has been presented to us, and goes completely against his values — and for what? To serve exclusively as a shitty love triangle so that Diego and Five would fight in the finale and break up the family even more at the most crucial point for them?

Five is your textbook example of a pragmatist. He knows how to prioritise, and would certainly not decide that the time to fight Diego was when two of their siblings were badly injured and another had merged to bring about the Cleanse — a.k.a. end of the world, again.

I am so, so disappointed with this, especially as Five is the character I’ve had the strongest attachment to, ever. I think I’ve managed to disconnect S4 him from the first three (that fucking greasy rat’s nest hair of his has finally been given a beneficial purpose), but I’m still sick to my stomach.

Anyway, next thing: the episodes. I know we were told in advance about how there were only going to be six episodes, and we knew they had a lot to fit in to make it work.

It didn’t. It was executed very poorly. I understand some fans didn’t like the unnecessary subplots and fillers from the previous seasons, but S4 was a bit too rushed? I mean, they found and drank the marigold within the first episode. And floundered around at the end, not even bothering to stop the Cleanse until it had been aired on TV. I get they might’ve wanted to make the show more fast-paced, but it could’ve been handled differently. They didn’t have to do a ‘Stranger ThingsTM’ and make four goddamn films for a Part One. They just needed to properly iron out everything, and that didn’t happen, which is a massive shame.

The finale itself (not the erasing their identities, but from the moment Ben is shot) deserves some YouTuber to pick it apart with a four hour video until it’s dust. It was badly structured. Normally, you see a rather pleasant — not exactly linear, but in the concept we’re progressing positively — pattern as the episodes and plots build up to the finale. We see the family find out about an apocalypse, they fight and break off individually, then they slowly pair up, eventually coming together to save the world. This was not like that.

Instead, you had one sibling fucking around in a subway with his physically much older and mentally much younger sister-in-law, another that was hopelessly obsessed with a girl he just met (but no hate for him — no one exactly told him that being closer to Jennifer was just harming them both and the world), one germaphobe who, despite not taking drugs or drinking, is off looting money wherever he can find it and deciding that was the moment to pay off his debts??, three others doing fuck knows, and then the last one who actually gives a shit, teamed up with his hideous father, and tried to prevent him from killing Ben as long as possible because he knows what it’s like to end the world, and is therefore the only one who did anything useful. God, that was a long sentence, so I’m sorry for those of you who struggle with it.

The finale was not your Umbrella Academy finale. Once everyone had (I say this in the lightest way) been ‘brought together’, they had no bloody idea what to do. In the meantime, they’d disbanded about three times within the thirty minutes of screening because of petty fights and the drama I’ve already discussed. Five leaving them at the most essential moment (due to Lila and Diego, blah, blah, blah) was an error in his character. This old man has survived through apocalypses, the one who tries to round everyone up despite everything he has seen. Even with his doubts in the S3 finale, he was still there — and his doubts were shared enough that they created a majority. In this S4 finale, there was no majority. It was just Five, and Five alone. There were gaping holes and shredded pieces of the beautifully developed characters the show had done so well in portraying. They did this with Allison during that scene in S3, where they took her villain arc too far. There are so many flaws in this, and there is definitely many people out there who can communicate it better and more concisely, but here is my two pennies anyway.

I have a lot more thoughts, but I’m currently bone-tired. I might post another rant if I remember anything else — but don’t be too surprised if it’s Five x Lila related.

I am thankful and appreciative that the Umbrella Academy was one of the lucky shows that saw its way to the very end, but I think all of us are entitled to a little disappointment at its quality and execution as it was brought to a close.

[thecoleopterawithana]

Lennon may not be at his most dynamic in Get Back but he’s still compelling, partly because he’s not the character we expected to meet. At least, he’s not who I expected. Having ingested many books about the Beatles I thought he was going to be fiery, caustic, domineering, and - in this period - bitterly scornful of McCartney. Yet the Lennon we see here is for the most part a rather gentle presence who acts as a calming mediator between Paul and George. He grins at Paul, laughs heartily at his jokes, listens patiently to him. There is something quite childlike about John, particularly when his face opens up into a smile as the band hits a groove, or when he’s sitting patiently on the floor with a guitar and Yoko, waiting for another take. When Ringo starts playing Octopus’s Garden with George, John says “What am I doing, Ritchie?” and gets on the drums. There is bravado, of course - as when, following George’s departure, he immediately suggests they get Clapton in and split George’s guitars. But there is tenderness, too: after George leaves, it is John who brings the three remaining Beatles together into a hug.

We are used to thinking of Lennon as the visionary and Paul as the pragmatist. Yet here it’s Paul who throws up wildly impractical ideas - a news show that ends in an announcement of The Beatles’ split, a TV spectacular, an album full of songs they haven’t written yet, by next week - and John who suggests, mildly and sympathetically, that they consider what’s actually possible.

— Ian Leslie, "The Banality of Genius: Notes on Peter Jackson's Get Back" (January 26, 2022).

[I was curious to read more of Ian Leslie's approach to the Beatles in general and Lennon-McCartney in particular, since he's currently writing a book about John and Paul's relationship: ��John and Paul: A Love Story in Songs". He's also the author of that New York Times opinion piece that came out today.]

[qqueenofhades]

While I generally agree with your writings, I find myself confused by the term "Online Leftist". As a 75-year-old who has had a Social Democratic bent (and because of that has seen more of his votes lose than he ever wished in these United States), I have voted in every county-through-federal level election in my life since age 21. I also use social media sparingly, but I feel I certainly could be considered to be a leftist who is online, but I don't share the viewpoint of those you call "Online Leftist". Please clarify the meaning of that phrase in your writings.

I have to add that I've voted third party only once. I voted for John Anderson in 1980 and instantly regretted that action when Ronald Reagan won. (At that time, Jimmy Carter wasn't perceived as the great humanitarian and climate visionary he truly was, and the economy and the hostage crisis ruled the election arguments.) It was a lesson that was hard-earned. Thus in 2016, even though I supported Bernie Sanders's ideas and philosophy, I voted for Hillary because 1) she had unimpeachable (no pun intended) qualifications, and 2) not to vote for her would ensure that a really nasty and incompetent clown would be leading our country.

Thank you for all of your Tumblr postings. I find myself reblogging them hoping to reach the idealistic voter who tends to want to vote "purist" rather than "pragmatist."

The term "Online Leftists," as myself and others use it, refers to the specific group of often-young, often-white, often-western terminally online social media users, usually on Twitter, who post frothing manifestos about how corrupt the world is (specifically, how corrupt and fascist the Democratic Party of America is) and how the only way to fix it is to have some mythical leftist Revolution that will destroy late-stage capitalism and the current world order and somehow have no bad effects whatever and then a magical "progressive" utopia will spring into existence and everything will be fixed. Even the ones who don't go that far are heavily influenced by the ideology that the establishment/country is corrupt beyond repair, voting (especially voting for Democrats) is morally evil and indefensible, that there is no difference between the political parties of America, and that America/the West is the cause of all evil in the world. It has become especially visible with the Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas wars, when they enthusiastically or at least tacitly support Russia and Hamas simply because those states/groups are "anti-western."

It also has to do with the whopping western leftist levels of virulent antisemitism and eagerness to call Israel a "white western colonialist settler state," as discussed in previous posts. Even while they decry Israel's genocide of Gaza, they will twist themselves into knots to excuse Russia's genocide of Ukraine or any legitimacy to a Jewish state or need for Israel to defend its own civilians, because you see, those genocides are committed by people they like in support of something something, Advancing the Great Revolution Cause. This is partly influenced by the belief that modern far-right fascist Russia is somehow a standard-bearer for old-school USSR socialism (which itself was horrifying enough) and should be defended and cheerled as a principled enemy of the West. This is the same group of people who unironically spend all their time posting fulminations that Biden is a genocidal fascist and America is a dictatorship, because they know that literally nothing will happen to them and they will face no real-world consequences, because none of those things are actually true. But as long as they can claim it for the rhetorical martyrdom, that does not matter.

By political beliefs and presence on Tumblr, I too am definable as a leftist who is online, but the Online Leftists (used together and with capital letters) are a distinct group whose ideology is marked by righteous nihilism, rejection of voting, support for a mythical "Revolution" in place of ever trying to work within the flawed political system, support for violent genocidal states or groups as long as they are "anti-western" or "anti-Israeli" (witness how they flocked to quiveringly defend the Houthis) while simultaneously yelling at everyone else for supporting genocide, making no attempt to incorporate actual politics, history, or reality into their all-consuming ideology, and shaming everyone else who doesn't agree with them. As you say, they are focused on some "pure" level of political engagement, which is of course impossible and therefore means the only thing they do is spend their time on Twitter rampantly spreading misinformation as long as it fits their beliefs. Pragmatism, harm reduction, nuance, or making a flawed choice that puts any kind of "moral burden" on them does not exist to them and is a dirty word, because it might conflict with bringing about La Revolution. So yeah.

[docholligay]

Genuinely just contributed to the Harris-Walz campaign because it enters you for a chance to meet them, and, as jetty has observed, Tim Walz is the dad I always wanted.

He hunts (his opener of 'I can shoot pheasants better than JD' had me from the first moment), he owns an International Scout (one of my three dream cars), he is a country boy who is into education and thinking and trying opinions on. I haven't wanted someone to be my dad so bad since I met that farmer in Circle (pop 600) with a poetry degree.

Actually, it's funny-- in the us at least, a fair amount of politicking is about **relatability** and on the national level, I do not relate to these people. I, too, thought Hillary was an upper crust seven sisters snob who couldn't repair a goddamn leaking pipe. I just also thought Donnie couldn't repair the pipe neither, and was a cunt besides. Every time I volunteered for Obama's campaigns i was well aware that someone with such education and clean Midwestern news announcer diction would probably assume things about me from my less clean voice. I just... do not care. Because I am a pragmatist. I can not feel like a special girl sometimes. It's good.

but my wife and I were talking that on a federal level...Walz is the first person either of us has felt like a guy we might know. I would get a beer with him!

This is a shitty endorsement--policy, and not just voiced policy, but what they have voted for in past, should be your guiding star-- and I guess that's because it's not meant to be! But it's the first time I've seen the dems bring out a rural dem... of which I know a number, who doesn't disavow that link.

[littlecrow-rogue]

Trough the Lens: A Mötley Crüe fanfiction - Chapter One

Hi!

So the other day I made a post aboute writing a Mötley Crüe Nikki Sixx x OC fanfiction.

I did it!

I am bit nerves posting it cause english is not my first language so this was a bit hard, and even tho I asked some help from Google and transolaters to fix my grammer mistakes probobly there are still some mistakes left or wrong usage of words. But I hope it's still enjoyable.

If you read this have fun and let me know if you think and if you'd like a second chapter for it.

XoX - V

Chapter 1: "The Beginning"

The band members of Mötley Crüe sat huddled around a cluttered table in Nikki's flat, the air thick with anticipation and the remnants of their brainstorming session. Empty beer bottles mingled with scattered papers, evidence of their search for the perfect promotional plan and a testament to the chaos of their creative minds.

Tommy tapped his fingers impatiently against the table, his dark eyes darting restlessly around the room in search for inspiration. The weight of their first gig hung heavy in the air, a silent reminder of the task at hand.

Suddenly, Nikki's voice shattered the silence, cutting through the haze of uncertainty that had settled over them.

"Alright, guys, time to get down to business," he declared, his tone commanding attention.

Vince lounged back with a smirk, tossing out a suggestion that earned a mixture of amusement and disdain

"A little spray-painted graffiti on the side of Sunset Boulevard could drum up some serious buzz”

Nikki shook his head with a wry smile.

"As much as I appreciate the guerrilla marketing approach, we need something more polished," he said, running a hand through his tousled hair as he leaned forward, his gaze fixed on his bandmates.

Mick nodded in agreement.

Nikki arched an eyebrow, his gaze locking onto Tommy’s with a curious intensity.

"Do you have any ideas, Tommy?"

A mischievous grin spread across Tommy's face as he leaned back in his chair, confidence radiating from every pore.

"Actually, I do," he declared, capturing the attention of his bandmates.

"My sister, Katie, she's a photographer. She could help us make some flyres with some killer shoots."

The mention of Tommy's sister piqued the band's interest. They had heard stories about Katie Lee, Tommy mentioned her a lot, but none of them had ever met her.

Mick, ever the pragmatist, cut to the heart of the matter with a single question.

"Is she any good?" he asked, his skepticism evident in his gravelly voice.

Tommy's response was immediate.

"She's incredible," he declared, his voice brimming with pride.

"She's been working as a photographer in downtown LA for the past two years, but she has been obsessed with photography since we were kids. Trust me, guys, she's the real deal. "

Vince grinned.

"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go pay Katie a visit and see if she can work her magic for us."

As their car glided to a halt in front of SutterLux Studios, the first thing that caught their eyes was the imposing sign, polished to a mirror like perfection, a testament to the studio's prestige as it boldly announced its name to the world. It stood as a beacon of elegance amidst the bustling cityscape, its modern architecture a symphony of clean lines and sleek facades that mesmerized passersbys. Every detail, from the smooth curvature of the walls to the precise symmetry of the windows, spoke of craftsmanship and artistry that left an indelible impression on all who saw it. Surrounding the entrance, a meticulously curated garden, a lush oasis of greenery, provided a tranquility to the building's exterior.

As they stepped out of their car, the band's rock and roll style clashed brilliantly with the polished surroundings. Leather jackets, ripped jeans, and a smattering of tattoos made for a striking contrast against the backdrop of elegance.

Stepping into the studio, they were greeted by a receptionist girl seated at a marble-topped desk, her workspace packed with notepads and notebooks in neat order wich spoke volumes about her attention to detail. With a shy smile playing on her lips, she chirped a warm welcome, while her eyes scaned the group of men before her.

"Welcome to SutterLux! What can I help you?” her voice was light and airy.

Tommy leaned casually against the desk, flashing his trademark grin as he addressed her.

"Hey there, we're here to see Katie Lee. Is she available?" he inquired, his voice laced with confidence.

The receptionist's bashfulness only added to her charm as she inquired about their appointment, her eyes flitting towards the calendar as she searched for any openings.

"I'm her brother, and I just want to talk to her if she's free," Tommy explained with a nonchalant shrug, his charm evident in every word.

Recognition flickerd on the receptionist's face as she realized who Tommy was

"Oh, you're Katie's brother Tommy? She's mentioned you," she remarked, her shy tone melting into a warm, friendly demeanor.

"Let me see if she's available. Please take a seat. I'll be right back."

With a graceful gesture towards the plush black sofas on the other side, she disappeared into the depths of the studio, leaving the band members alone in the lobby. The air crackled with anticipation as Vince, Mick, and Nikki exchanged nervous glances, unsure of what to expect when they finally met Katie Lee.

As the receptionist girl reappeared with Katie by her side, the room seemed to brighten with her presence. Her fiery red hair cascaded down her shoulders like a waterfall of flames, framing her face with an aura of vibrant energy. Her eyes twinkled with a mischievous sparkle, and every step she took radiated confidence.

"Tommy!" Katie exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine delight as she enveloped her brother in a tight hug.

"What are you doing here?"

Tommy returned the hug with equal enthusiasm, his grin stretching from ear to ear.

"We came to see you, sis," he replied, pulling back to gaze at her with fondness.

"Who’s we?” she asked couriously as her gaze shifted to the other men standing behind Tommy, her smile widening at the sight of them.

"Nikki, Vince, and Mick," Tommy introduced, gesturing to each member of the band in turn. "Guys, this is my sister, Katie."

The band members exchanged greetings with Katie, their admiration for her evident in their eyes. Her easygoing demeanor and magnetic charm left an impression on each of them, drawing them in with her infectious energy.

"Do you have a little time to spare for us sis?” Tommy asked eagerly.

"I hope so.” Katie replied with a grin.

"Sam, when's my next client scheduled to arrive?" Katie turned to the receptionist girl, who quickly returned to her desk.

Sam scanned the schedule and checked the clock on the wall before responding,

"You've got about an hour and twenty minutes until your next appointment."

Katie nodded thoughtfully.

"Great. In that case, why don't we head over to that coffee shop down the street? We can grab a table and chat," she suggested, turning back to the band with a warm smile.

"Sounds like a plan," Tommy cheered, his excitement matching hers as they left the building.

As Katie and the band strolled down the bustling streets of downtown LA, the city pulsed with an electrifying vitality and amidst the vibrant chaos, they sought refuge at a quaint corner table in a cozy café, where the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped them like a warm embrace.

After placing their orders, Nikki leaned forward, his piercing blue eyes fixed on Katie.

"So, Katie, Tommy's been singing your praises as a kickass photographer," his voice as smooth as silk. "We're on the hunt for someone with your skills to help us make a splash with our upcoming gig."

Katie nodded, her interest piqued.

"I'm all ears," she replied, leaning back in her chair.

Tommy, unable to contain his excitement, leaned forward eagerly.

"We've headlining at the Starwood Club next month," he announced, a grin spreading across his face. "But we're not just looking to play; we want to rock the joint!"

"And to light up that stage, we need some badass posters, flyers, and all that jazz, something that draws  a lot of people in" Vince chimed in, his voice hyped.

Katie soaked up their vibe, a glint of excitement dancing in her eyes.

"Consider it done" she declared, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"But first could guys maybe show some of your music for me? Just to get a better image of Mötley Crüe.”

The band exchanged looks, a smirk playing on their lips.

"We'll crank up the amps and give you a taste," Tommy promised, a grin spreading across his face.

"You just got a backstage pass to our sonic circus," Nikki added, a playful twinkle in his eye.

"Why don't we invite you to my place? We've got a rehearsal space set up there, so you can experience what we're all about."

Katie's eyes gleamed with excitement.

"That sounds perfect," she exclaimed, a radiant smile gracing her lips.

"Then it's settled," Mick declared with a decisive nod. "We'll make our way to Nikki's place once we're done here."

With the first part of their plan solidified, the band and Katie lingered over their drinks, their conversation flowing with easy.

As the time drew near for Katie's next appointment, the group decided to escort her back to work. Upon the arrival, Katie vanished into the studio to finish her job for the day.

As the band settled into the reception hall, time seemed to stretch out before them, each minute feeling like an eternity as they waited with for Katie's return.

At long last, the door creaked open, and Katie emerged with a satisfied smile playing on her lips.

"Sorry for the wait, guys," Katie apologized, her voice carrying a note of excitement as she joined the band.

"I'm ready to roll now."

With a renewed sense of anticipation, Katie and the band made their way to Nikki's car, the excitement practically crackling in the air around them. As they headed to the Sunset Strip, Katie couldn't suppress the thrill bubbling within her, eager to delve deeper into the realm of rock 'n' roll.

Arriving at Nikki's apartment building, Katie was greeted by a surge of excitement at the thought finally getting to know the band wich her brother was part of.

As Mötley Crüe and Katie entered Nikki's flat, they were greeted by a space that perfectly encapsulated the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. Posters of iconi musicans adorned the walls, while instruments were scattered haphazardly around the room. Amplifiers hummed softly in the background, hinting at the music that was created within these walls.

The furniture was a mix of vintage pieces and modern comforts, giving the space a lived-in yet stylish vibe. A plush couch sat against one wall, its cushions worn from years of use, while a sleek bar area beckoned from the corner, stocked with an impressive array of spirits.

Nikki led the group into the room with a grin, gesturing for them to make themselves at home. "Welcome to my humble abode, where the magic happens" he said, a twinkle in his eye turning to Katie

"Make yourself comfortable."

As Katie and the rest of the band settled in, Nikki made his way to the fridge, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Alright, folks, what'll it be?" he called out, opening the fridge door to reveal an assortment of beverages.

"Beer, wine, whiskey? You name it, I've got it."

The band members exchanged glances, a collective smirk crossing their faces.

"Surprise us, Nikki," Vince replied, a playful edge to his voice.

Nikki chuckled as he retrieved a selection of drinks from the fridge, passing them out to the group with a flourish. As the band settled in with their drinks, Nikki turned to Katie with a grin.

"Are you ready for your private show, Katie?" he asked, his eyes alight with anticipation.

Katie's face broke into a wide smile.

"Absolutely," she replied, excitement coursing through her veins as she leand back comfortably in the couch, drink in hand. With a casual ease, she propped her legs up on the coffee table, fixing her gaze on the band with eager anticipation.

With that the band took their place on the stage, wich was the other side of Nikki’s living room, and launched into their first song. The music was filling the room with its raw energy. Katie's eyes danced with delight as she listened, completely captivated by the electrifying performance unfolding before her.

Song after song, Mötley Crüe poured their hearts and souls into their music, each note resonating with passion and intensity. Katie couldn't help but be swept away by the sheer talent and charisma of the band, her appreciation for their music growing with each passing moment.

As the final chords faded into silence, Tommy and Nikki took their seats on either side of Katie, their faces flushed with exhilaration. Vince and Mick settled into the armchairs surrounding the coffee table, their expressions mirroring the sense of accomplishment that filled the room.

"So, Katie, what did you think?" Nikki asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Katie's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as she took a sip of her drink, considering her response.

"I loved it," she said, her voice filled with genuine admiration.

"Each song had its own unique energy"

With the mood buoyed by Katie's praise, she launched into her ideas for the flyers and posters, drawing inspiration from the music she had just heard.

The band members listened intently, nodding in agreement as Katie outlined her vision for the promotional materials.

"I love it," Vince exclaimed, his eyes shining with enthusiasm.

"It sounds like you really understand our vibe and what we're all about."

Katie smiled, feeling a surge of pride at the band's reaction.

 "I'm glad you think so," she replied.

"I can't wait to get started and see what we can create together."

As the excitement of their collaboration filled the room, Katie and the band members of Mötley Crüe quickly settled on a date for the photoshoot.

"How about Saturday, two days from now?" Katie suggested, her eyes alight with enthusiasm.

The band members exchanged eager nods, they couldn’t wait to see Katie's vision come to life. "Sounds good to us," Nikki replied, a grin spreading across his face.

"We'll make sure we're ready to rock and roll."

With the date set and plans in motion, the group toasted to their upcoming photoshoot, excitement buzzing in the air. As they continued to chat and laugh late into the evening, Katie couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation for the creative journey that lay ahead.

As the evening wore on and the excitement of their collaboration began to wind down, the band members of Mötley Crüe started to make their exit.

Vince, with a mischievous glint in his eye, rose from his seat, his voice laced with playful banter.

"Alright folks, see you on Saturday. I'm off to see my girl" he declared, his announcement met with teasing cheers from the rest of the group.

Shortly there after, Mick followed suit, offering a nod of farewell before vanishing into the nocturnal embrace of the city.

Tommy glanced at his watch, realizing it was time to pick up his new flame.

"I better get going, my date is waiting" he said, flashing a grin at the others.

"New girl?” Katie asked quirosly.

"We will see” he answered with a huge smile still plaster on his face

"But before I head out, Nikki, do you mind taking Katie home?"

 "I'd be happy to make sure she gets home safely." Nikki nodded in agreement, a warm smile on his face.

Katie smiled gratefully

"Thank you, Nikki," she said

"I appreciate it."

With goodbyes exchanged Tommy dissapiered and soon after Nikki and Katie made their way down from the flat to Nikki's car, the cool night air greating them as they stepped out side. They exchanged casual banter as they walked, their laughter echoing off the surrounding buildings.

 "So, Nikki, where did you and my brother crossed paths?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Nikki's gaze drifted to the road ahead, a nostalgic smile gracing his lips as he recounted the story.

"Well, it was after I had a falling out with my former band's singer and decided to quit London," he began, his voice tinged with nostalgia.

"I was feeling pretty lost and unsure of what to do next."

He paused for a moment, lost in thought, before continuing.

"I found myself sitting in a diner, flipping through the ads of musicians looking to join a band," he explained.

"That's when Tommy walked up to me out of the blue."

A smile tugged at the corners of Nikki's lips as he recalled the memory.

"He was this cocky guy with wild hair and an even wilder personality," he said.

 "I remember him saying he had my poster on his bedroom wall” he laughed and Katie started giggeling next to him.

"And then he just seated himself infront of me and started twireling his drum sticks and as they say the rest is histroy”

Katie glanced over at Nikki, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.

"It's amazing how things just seem to fall into place sometimes," she remarked, her voice filled with admiration.

"It's like the universe has a way of bringing people together when they need it."

Nikki nodded in agreement, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Yeah, it's funny how life works out like that," he replied, his voice tinged with reflection. "Sometimes the most unexpected encounters can change the course of your life in ways you never imagined."

They fell into a comfortable rhythm of conversation, sharing stories and laughter as they made their way through the city streets. Before they knew it, they had arrived at Katie's apartment building, the glow of the streetlights casting a warm halo around them.

As Nikki pulled up to the curb, he turned to Katie with a smile.

"Well, here we are," he said, his tone lighthearted.

"Thanks for the company, Katie. I had a great time tonight."

Katie returned his smile, a sense of warmth and gratitude filling her chest.

"Thank you for the ride, Nikki," she replied, her voice sincere.

With a final wave goodbye, Katie stepped out of the car and watched as Nikki drove off into the night. As she made her way up to her apartment, a sense of contentment washed over her, grateful for the unexpected connection she had formed with Nikki and the band.

[etz-ashashiyot]

Making a new post so as not to derail the previous reblogged post, but in that same spirit I am looking to connect with Palestinians who are interested in cross-community conversations and collaborative peace work. My outlook is mostly in line with this approach and this method of talking about things, but since I am based in the US and not Israel my focus would be on what we can do in the diaspora to help put pressure on the third parties and the international community to stop using Israel and Palestine as proxies and start doing real humanitarian work. I am very interested in helping to advocate for pragmatic steps that will actually make progress and save lives in the short-term while working towards a longer-term peaceful coexistence goal. It seems too many people aren't willing to listen but I think it's absolutely critical that these intermediate steps especially are led by the people who are directly affected.

If you are interested in connecting and share my humanist and pragmatist views that both peoples deserve safety, freedom, dignity, and self-determination in this land and no maximalist position will actually achieve that but coexistence will? Please reach out!

[sofoulandfairaday]

honestly, your analysis and headcanons on the Blacks are always very interesting. If you don't mind, can I ask you for your opinion and headcanons about Andromeda?

Hi! I don't mind at all, thank you for the question (and the compliment!) ❤️

Andromeda is one of those characters I mostly have soft headcanons about, meaning that I can comfortably and happily read many different versions of her. Let's say that I dislike the soft little girl ones, the poor, poor Andy abused by her mean parents the most.

My favourite Andromeda is a steely sort. Oh, she's kind, soft, gentle (more than her sisters), but only to her own. Heart-of-gold, would-mother-the-whole-world-if-she-could, à la Molly, is not my cup of tea.

So, I can speak about how I personally write her but unlike many other characters, this is not a very fixed idea in my head.

Beautiful, but not as beautiful as Bellatrix, who she resembles quite a bit. Definitely less charismatic, less striking. This breeds insecurity, especially in a young teenage girl. She's the Regulus to Bellatrix's Sirius.

Also not as brilliant as Bellatrix, in school. Again: this breeds insecurity.

I think Cygnus and Druella loved their daughters, but since all three of them were quite remarkable young ladies, Andromeda still suffers from Middle Child Syndrome - she's the forgotten one: Bella was exceptional (she was after all noticed by LV himself, and was one of the most powerful fighters in the second war) and Cissy was the baby, so unintentionally it was sorta-maybe-true.

Consequently: a bit of a social butterfly. Much warmer than both her sisters, more beloved in school. Had good relationships with the other Prefects (of course she was a Prefect; all the sisters were) from other houses.

That's how she became close with Hufflepuff Prefect Ted Tonks.

Also also also can I just say they don't have curly hair like Bella has in the movies? Dromeda's is a lighter shade, but still somewhere in between straight and wavy.

Out of the three of them, she had the best people skills, the best soft skills, she might have been the best at manipulation. For years after she left, and when she was tasked with making meaningful connections with other Death Eaters' wives, Narcissa would lament not having the same soft skills as Andromeda.

Unlike Sirius and Bella who have, as I've mentioned in the past, a very black-and-white morality, Andromeda sees the world in shades of grey. She's more flexible. A pragmatist, unlike her idealist sister and cousin. For this reason:

I don't think Andromeda ever let go of all of her biases. Not enough fanfictions explore what it means to unlearn all the notions that your blood-supremacist upbringing may have ingrained in you. Sirius is the one in the family who hates Dark Magic, who befriends the broken, the beaten and the damned. He is the one that would fight for social equality.

I don't think Andromeda cared much for Muggleborns at all. I think she cared for Ted. I am convinced that before she left, she and Bella had some kind of showdown and she basically said something along the lines of: look. I don't think that Muggles and Mudbloods are equal to us, and I don't think that they deserve to be equal to us in society, but I am asking you, as my sister, to make an exception for Ted and me.

Ted - smart, funny, future Healer Ted Tonks, who worshipped the ground she walked on - was her exception (like Remus was Sirius', like Lily was Snape's).

Ted who showed her unconditional love and support, who was the only thing her family wouldn't approve of- her only, only act of rebellion after years of being the perfect daughter, the forgotten child. But they gave her an ultimatum and she chose him.

Oh, it broke Bella and Cissy when Andromeda left. But as I say here, Andromeda was convinced that Bella betrayed her first, by choosing her Master instead of her.

Andy & Bella were always the closest. The three sisters were very close in general and both Bellatrix and Narcissa were closest to Andromeda, but Andy & Bella shared a bond which was so exclusive to the two of them that it could never be replicated, not even when Bella & Cissy grew closer after Andromeda left. They both loved their youngest fiercely and would have done anything to protect her from harm.

She loved Transfiguration.

Absolute prodigy with Household charms (and this is canon), but also the best, out of all the sisters, with healing magic and healing charms. (She does cure Hagrid after the Battle of the Seven Potter, after all, and he's tricky because he's half-giant).

I think she might have been a private Healer, more on that here.

She disliked cruelty (Muggle hunting and the sort) but she could be ruthless when she wanted to.

Now. The following are my personal headcanons which have no basis in reality whatsoever, but I love them. Was sorta-involved with Rabastan as a child.

Andromeda & Rabastan (& Regulus), for the way I write them, all suffer from being in the shadow of their older siblings. I think they might have played together as children, and that she had, at different points in time, a bit of a crush on both the Lestranges. Rabastan first, as kids, when he was still in his phase ewwww girls.

Joke's on him because later he became absolutely obsessed with her. To a creepy degree almost. He didn't think it fair that his older brother got to marry a Black and he didn't, he didn't understand why, all of a sudden, Andromeda seemed to hate him when she had been a comfort to him in the past... And he had grown up now, he could see that she was beautiful, hard and perfect but softer than Bella, someone he could handle.

The less she wanted him, the more he desired her.

But she had become more and more disgusted with him as the years went by. At first, he had been a sweet kid, but he had turned out much worse than his older brother, definitely a bit of a sadist, too tightly wound, with a much-too-cruel sense of humour for her liking.

She was also already smitten with Ted at this point.

Both she and Cissy had a teeeeeny tiny crush on Rodolphus at a certain point and were generally very soft and over-indulgent with him, especially in his bickering with Bellatrix (which drove her insane and made Rabastan extremely jealous). But who can blame them, my man is hot.

Rocks short hair (by ‘short’ I mean a cool bob like Shiv Roy) which is something that Ted encouraged her to get after she had Nymphadora. Apart from that, she always had long hair, like her sisters.

Speaking of which. All of you must know by now that I headcanon all the Black women (Walburga, Narcissa, Bellatrix) as having fertility problems: either they couldn't conceive or when they could they never managed to carry to term. Not Andromeda. No. Maybe it was the new blood, Ted's blood, or maybe it was sheer bad luck, but when Andromeda was sleeping with Ted as a 19-year-old, she wasn't that careful. She figured that nothing would happen - it was- oh, it was so unlikely that anything would happen. But it did.

Andromeda ran away because she had fallen pregnant with Nymphadora. She loved her darling girl from the very first minute - more than her sisters, more than anyone in the world. Her family wouldn't accept her, which hastened things.

Yeah, maybe in another universe she could have been Rabastan Lestrange's bored wife (by the way, my boy Rab is bisexual just so ya know), having an affair with Ted on the side, Lady Chatterley-style (someone write that fic!) But not in this one.

In this one, despite the love she has for her parents, her sisters, and the luxuries of her old life (her pureblood friends, the tea parties, the balls, the gowns and vacations...) she is willing to throw everything away for Ted. And most of all, for Dora.

Horrid taste in names. Rabastan is lucky he didn't end up with her, his kids would have been named something obnoxious and self-referential like Alpheratz.

[francesminos-tt]

Golden retriever boyfriend Daeron and his black cat boyfriend Joffrey

Forgive me for taking the prompt literally. Please enjoy this fun little piece of HP au.

There were numerous rivalries in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The open rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin, the unspoken tension between pureblood and muggle-born, the subtle whispers and looks between pragmatists and those who believed in divination, etc. In the past century, the biggest rivalry was between two fractions of the same pureblood family, the Targaryens, a powerful family from a mysterious land. It was said that they were able to claim the most powerful magical creatures in the world, dragons. Their family motto, Fire and Blood, indicated such inheritance. The Targaryens had queer customs. For example, they were known to marry sisters to brothers, to keep the blood pure, despite the protest of the magic society. The family had been split into two fractions at least two decades ago, and now, the rivalry was at its peak, as new generation of the family had all entered Hogwarts. Whenever there was a fight in the lobby, you bet it involved at least one Targ.

Joffrey yawned as he scribbled whatever words he captured from the professor’s boring monologue down on his parchment. His was so sleepy that his attention span could last no longer than a few seconds, so the words he managed to write down made absolutely no sense.

Arcane algebra. Conditional probability of astrology alignment. Matrix.

Why on earth had he chosen Arithmetic Divination as an elective this semester?

Joffrey wanted to smack his own head for making this stupid decision. He would rather do regular Divination. At least the cushions were comfortable enough in that stifling classroom for him to take a proper nap.

“Mr. Velaryon, Mr. Velaryon!” The professor’s voice jolted Joffrey awake, “Can you please tell us what we can get when a determinant is expanded?”

What was expanded? Joffrey had no idea what the professor was talking about.

“Uh…I don’t know, Sir. Why don’t you expand it and see what’s inside yourself?” Joffrey offered with his cutest smile. He wasn’t the most handsome among his brothers, but he knew what he could get by playing the innocent card.

“Then what’s the meaning of learning, mister?” The professor rubbed his temple, “Ten points from Gryffindor for your absentmindedness, Mr. Velaryon. It seems that you are capable of losing as many points as you are able to earn on the Quiddich field.”

Joffrey rolled his eyes. Please, he had earned Gryffindor the Quiddich cup last year. It worth at least a hundred points, didn't it?

“Anyone can tell Mr. Velaryon what’s inside a determinant?” The professor turned to address the whole room, “Yes, Mr. Targaryen.”

“When a determinant is expanded, it produces a polynomial, sir.” A silver-haired boy answered with confidence.

“Excellent. Ten points to Ravenclaw.” The professor smiled at the boy, “Well done, Mr. Targaryen.”

Joffrey stuck his tongue out at the snobbish boy. Unfortunately, the boy was sitting in the front row of the classroom with the back of his head to Joffrey, so he failed to notice the brunette’s childish moves. The other students, however, not only noticed it, but also let out some muffled laughter.

“Quiet, ladies and gentlemen.” The professor said as he walked back to his podium, “Please turn to page 389. We will be discussing in more detail about probabilities next week. Since you all seem to have enough free time to laugh at others, I am sure you can write an 8-inch abstract about the topic.”

The students groaned, except the silver-haired boy. He seemed genuinely excited about the homework. Weirdo.

Joffrey remembered that the boy was actually the reason he had decided to take this course as part of his OWLs. The boy, his uncle Daeron Targaryen, had the nerve to imply that Joffrey didn't have the brain for math. Joffrey needed to prove him wrong, so he took the course in his brother Jace’s surprised gaze.

“Are you sure, Joff? You are never one for logical thinking and math.” Jacaerys said with his ususal worried voice. To be honest, Jace had suffered enough being the oldest one of the siblings.

“I am not daft!” Joffrey protested, pouting, “How hard can it be? I am not the only one doing it. You did it at your fifth grade too, Jace.”

“I did. That’s why I know the course is difficult.” Jacaerys sighed, “It’s about Daeron, isn't it?”

“Who? Don’t know any Daerons.” Joffrey shrugged and went back to picking at his Sunday roast.

“Fine. You just keep pretending.” Jacaerys ruffled Joffrey’s hair before grabbing a handful of floo and throwing it into the hearth, “Just know that I won't do your homework for you.”

“Noted, big brother.” Joffrey waved his greasy hand at Jace, “Say hi to Cregan for me!”

“I am not meeting Cregan!” Jacaerys disappered in the green flame after shouting Winterfell.

Who was pretending now? Joffrey thought, shoving a spoonful of beef and gravy into his mouth.

Daeron was from that side of the family. He was the same age as Jace, but for some reason, he didn't go to Hogwarts until he was 14, which made him in the same grade as Joffrey. They soon became the newest pair of Targ Rivals in school, carrying on the family legacy. Daeron was indeed the blacksheep of the family, being sorted into Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin as his older siblings (It was rumored that the Sorting Hat wanted to put Aegon into Huffpuff, but the oldest son of Lady Alicent brided the magical hat to get him into Slytherin, so that his mother wouldn't disown him).

Daeron, however, didn't seem to care about the fact of being sorted into another house. He was nerdy, in Joffrey’s standards, so Ravenclaw fit him just fine. He soon made it to the top of his peers in both the classroom and on Quidicch field. Joffrey was no match for him in terms of grades, but he managed to make it to the Quidicch team in year three as a beater, while Daeron started playing as a chaser one year later.

It was safe to say that Joffrey and Daeron were nemesis, at least from Joffrey’s side.

“Hey, Joff!” Baela waved at the brunette as Joffrey entered the Gryffindor common room, “Come! Join us. Rhaena is sharing some really scary stories.”

“Storytelling in front of the fire? How old are you guys?” Joffrey scoffed, but threw himself into the armchair nonetheless.

“God, Joff, you weigh a ton.” Lucerys complained, trying to push his younger brother off the armchair, but he was no match for a Quiddich beater in terms of strength, “Get off me, you brat, or I will tell mom about your detention last week.”

Joffrey slid down the chair to a fluffy cushion on the floor. He grabbed a handful of crystal candies and shoved them into his mouth. The dragon breath flavor was the best. Joffrey burped, letting out a small puff of smoke.

“Why the sudden storytelling?” Joffrey asked, streching his long legs.

“To get into the Hallow’s End mood, of course.” Rhaena replied from her spot on another armchair. There were a huge glass of pumpkin juice floating around for her to take a sip from time to time.

“Rhaena is telling us about the wailing widow in the east tower.” Baela said, chewing on a sour licorice. She had grown an unhealthy obsession over the muggle candy recently, thanks to Nettles, a muggle-born girl who shared the same domitry with her.

“Are you sure it’s not the Grey Lady? The east tower is next to the Ravenclaw tower, isn’t it?” Joffrey shrugged, never a fan of horror tales.

“That’s where things get intersting. Some of the Ravenclaw girls told me that they had caught a glimpse of a black cat disappaering into the dark the last time they heard the wail. We all know the Grey Lady holds no particular interest in animals, so it can’t be her.” Rhaena’s violet eyes shone with excitement, “There maybe an unknown ghost in the castle!”

“Sounds like an old wife’s tale to me. I mean, dead witch and a black cat?” Joffrey rolled his eyes, “It’s the muggle stereotype. I am sure I have seen something similar on TV.”

“You are no fun, Joff.” Rhaena kicked Joffrey’s shin with her foot covered in fluffy sockes, “Where is your holiday spirit? I remember you are the one who is always excited about Hallow’s End.”

“8-inch long abstract.” Joffrey replied, rubbing his face, “God, I hate math.”

“Told you.” Lucerys chuckled, inspecting his perfect nails, “You will get yourself into trouble if you keep obsessing over Uncle Daeron.”

“I am not obsessing over anyone.” Joffrey protested, “And you are not one to talk. You got yourself rushed into St. Mungos because you decided to have a Hippogriff race with Uncle Aemond.”

Lucerys made a face at his brother, absolutely unashamed of his past deeds.

“The girls plan to stake out for the next few days. See if they can catch the mysterious ghost. I wish I could join them.” Rhaena said dreamily before sighing in disappoint.

“Do not even try. Jace will have a field day about this.” Baela warned.

Jacaerys didn’t join them in the cammon room, only because he had to carry out his head boy duties. As just as Jace was, he would not hesitate to take a ton of points from Gryffindor if he found Rhaena roaming in the castle at night.

Joffrey gathered as many snacks as he could before standing up and headed for his dorm room. He wasn’t in the mood of hanging out tonight. In fact, he didn’t even have enough appetite to finish his meal earlier.

“Where are you going?”

“To my room.” Joffrey replied without turning back, “I need to study for the Transformation test next week.”

“Since when?” The girls asked in unison.

Joffrey pretended not to hear.

It was already past midnight. The castle was so quiet that the rustling of leaves from the Forbidden Forest could be heared clearly in the corridor. The east tower perched neatly among the numerous towers of the Hogwarts castle, neither the tallest nor the most famous one. It only had some spare classrooms for students to use if they want to hold study groups or practicing their spells. In a chilling night like this, the tower was completely empty.

Or it was supposed to be.

A black cat walked gracefully on the window sill, its steps light as a feather, despite carrying a seemingly heavy leatehr bag. It stopped in front of a closed door at the end of the corridor. The wooden door could be easily pushed open by a human, but for a cat, it was almost unbreakable.

The cat let out a soft meow, as if calling for someone. A few seconds later, the door was pushed open by a silver-haired boy with a pair of light violet eyes.

“I thought you wouldn’t come.” Daeron said, picking up the cat and letting it rest against his chest, “Joffrey.”

The black cat meowed again, as if in protest. If a cat could roll its eyes, it must be doing so right now. Daeron chuckled as he buried his face into the soft fur of the cat, kissing the top of its cute head. The cat wrapped its tail around Daeron’s wrist, its sharp claw threatening to slice Daeron’s skin open, but never really did.

Daeron carried the cat to the desk where he already had the textbook and parchment ready. The black cat struggled out of his embrace and threw the leather bag onto the desk as well. Then, it jumped off the desk to a chair, before changing into a humanoid form.

“I told you I am tickish in my cat form.” Joffrey pouted, ruffling his dark curls that looked a lot like the cat’s black fur.

“I know. I did it on purpose.” Daeron leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Joffrey’s lips, “I can’t help it. I am a cat person.”

Joffrey wanted to punch Daeron’s handsome face, but at the same time, he wanted the kiss to last forever. Daeron was the only one who knew that Joffrey had successfully mastered the art of transforming into an animal. The boy had been an unregistered Animagus since the age of fourteen. The Targaryens were known to be gifted in shapeshifing, and it seemed that Joffrey had inherited such ability. In fact, his older brothers, Jace and Luke, were Animagus too. Jace could change into a handsome steed, while Luke’s animal form was a pearlescent lizard. Joffrey first succeeded in changing shape last summer, but he didn't tell any of his family, not even Rhaenyra. He was embarrassed that his animal form was a furry ball instead of a big cat like panther, or tiger.

“You taste spicy.” Daeron commented, licking Joffrey’s lips with the tip of his tongue.

“Dragon breath flavor crystals.” Joffrey murmured, “I brought some for you too. Let me go so we can have our snacks.”

“No.” Daeron replied, refusing to leave, “I am good just by taste it in your mouth.”

“What would your fangirls say, if they find out what a total asshole you are?” Joffrey turned his head to the side, trying to avoid Daeron’s kiss, but the blonde wouldn’t let him, “Are you going to practice your transformation tonight, or do you just want to cuddle?”

Daeron hummed, running his tongue over Joffrey’s lips. On one hand, he did want to practice transformation. He was so close to achieve his own Animagus form. He managed to grow a pair of dog ears and a tail last time, which made Joffrey swoon over his cuteness. If Daeron was a cat person, Joffrey was definitely a dog person. However, on the other hand, what was wrong to cuddle his boyfried for the night? They could barely spend any time together, for sake of keeping the rivalry appearance.

“Stop licking my mouth. Are you a dog?” Joffrey finally pushed Daeron away, his mouth glistening with Daeron’s saliva, “If you already act like a dog, let’s see how much progress you have made. Come on, take out your wand.”

Daeron let out a disappointed sigh, but obeyed Joffrey’s instructions nonetheless. He took out his wand, 13-inch long walnut with dragon heartstring, and waved at himself gracefully. With a puff of smoke, the tall blonde boy was replaced by an adorable human-dog hybrid, with dog ears, tails, paws, and a handsome human face.

Joffrey burst out a string of hysterical laughter. He changed into his cat form and jumped onto Daeron’s lap. He sniffed and poked around for a bit before changing back to his human form.

“You smell more like a dog than last time.” Joffrey said, “I would say good work.”

Daeron grunted, his ears flattened to his head. From the look of it, his animal form was most likely a Golden Retriver, an energic and warm breed. Joffrey always wanted to have a Golden Retriver, and it seemed that his dream was about to come true.

“You made me try the spell,” Daeron said, his voice deeper than before, “now you have to write the math homework by yourself. I can’t hold a quill with paws.”

Now was Joffrey’s turn to grunt. He opened a new scroll of parchment, quill dipped in ink, but he had absolutely no idea where to begin.

“Can't you just tell me what to write?” Joffrey put on his best pleading eyes, “Please?”

“Fine. Come here.” Daeron let Joffrey sat on his lap and buried his highly acute dog nose into the boy’s neck. He started to instruct Joffrey how to calculate the probablity of Jupiter aligning with Sun in any given century. He chewed on whatever snacks Joffrey offered him, from marshmallow clouds to mint quills, while keeping sniffing Joffrey’s neck.

“I think the scary story is going to be juicer tomorrow.” Joffrey muttered to himself as he remembered Rhaena mentioning her friends were going to stake out tonight.

“Huh? What did you say?”

“Nothing.” Joffrey smiled and kissed his boyfriend on the lips.

[littlewestern]

hey is it up 428 that's been under restoration for forever at irm? what are they like

It is 428! You can actually donate directly to the restoration effort here!

428 is in a tough position. Steam in particular requires a lot of resources and people who know the machines well to maintain them, and the IRM already has two working steam engines who are a huge draw in their own right. Money, resources, time, and effort are always going to go to the engines in working order because keeping them in steam is a higher priority than restoring something older.

428 is just another in the long line of steam engines the IRM has/had high hopes for. I think the IRM has always wanted to have three steam engines working congruently, but due to circumstance that hasn't always been a viable option. Tuskegee 101 and Commonwealth Edison 5 (not to be confused with CE 15) were both at one time operational, but due to various circumstances outside their control had to be retired from service.

I think this is just one of those things you accept when you're going into preservation. Maybe you get to have a little weekly bridge club with the other also-rans. I can't imagine there's any hard feelings though, since like.. most engines being preserved aren't *expecting* to continue to operate. 428 is just lucky to just be here, and you can tell she knows from her smile! :)

All that considered, I'm imagining 428 as a relentless optimist, which you'd have to be if you spent every day since 1969 in the steam shop being told "we're working on it", lol. I also think she does hang out with Tuskegee 101 and CE 5, because I like the idea of the almost-operational engines having a little informal friend group where they can talk about the problems unique to them. Being operational comes with its own set of responsibilities and expectations not placed on static displays, so I like the idea that they can talk about those problems unique to their station with each other. Tuskegee 101 is especially helpful, I picture her as a pragmatist with a good head on her shoulders. She'd be excited for the opportunity 428 has, but also realistic about managing her expectations. I think it'd be good for the both of them!

If you want to see 428 eventually operational, I do highly recommend checking out the donation link here because as far as I am aware, each restoration project is funded primarily by its own individual resource pool. So like, if you are a member and you pay your $50 to the IRM a year or if you toss a fiver in the tip jar on your way out, that money isn't necessarily going to 428's restoration, it's going to the museum first. I say "as far as I am aware" because this was the model they abided by in the 90s, and it is technically possible they might have changed how they handle funding for their projects, but I sort of doubt it because the IRM is very old and very staid. If they had it their way, nothing would ever change, ever. So if there's a project you want to see happen, it's important to donate directly where possible!

[chibivesicle]

The woes of running a secret organization; Steven’s burden and complex partnership with K.K.

It is time for some manga meta for Kekkai Sensen!  Yes, we will be delving into manga only content through Back 2 Back and the Calamity Auction arc.  Anyone who has been reading my meta since Golden Kamuy means I have a love of certain types of characters and Steven and K.K. really fall into that type.

I’m really interested to delve into Steven first and then K. K. (in a later post) but she’ll be in this one for sure because K. K. is intimately tied to Steven all the time in the manga (and I don’t mean in a sexual sort of way).

My previous Steven meta was only based on the anime for the most part and up through episode 7 of season 2.  Which really is more stuff from what should have happened before events of season 1.  Yet, I digress.  I’ve already put out there that Steven has an immense sadness about him in part with how he’s alone and has been making life choices to keep himself alone.

One should always be concerned if this is how you encounter him in the dead of night.

Steven is the ice cold pragmatist to Klaus’ fire filled idealism.  Certainly, one always needs to look for that single flicker of light but Klaus can state this openly since someone else is in the dark corners trying to make sure it happens.  That being Steven.

Kekkai Sensen characterization and moral conflict scenes

Early on when Steven and K. K. take on the first named Blood Breed in the 23rd Street Station, K. K. gives him absolute shit for being with such a black hearted man.  This implies that K. K. is knowledgeable or bold enough to verbally acknowledge that Steven doesn’t always do things above the board.  Which likely means that Klaus has to know this as well on some level.  Klaus isn’t naive, he’s more compassionate than most but will still crush you if you are inhumane. 

Early on, Steven is set up as the deadpan snarker, with a quick quip or sarcastic comment.  He loves his coffee and can get seriously hangry (where is my subway sandwich?) and does a lot of boring paperwork that no one else does. 

We learn that in ‘Day In Day Out’ about his swanky condo, sophisticated, educated circle of human friends.  Who aren’t really good friends.

It says a lot that he’s got Mrs. Veded as his Beyondian housekeeper with whom he is relaxed and chill with.  He even appreciates her roast beef enough to smile softly commenting on it. 

We also get to see how his relaxed clothing is a white dress shirt, dark pants and slippers.  Not only is he in his own home, but Steven is always on guard when out and about.  It took me a few reads of this to notice that the manga showing his slippers indicates that he is safe with her.  He’s not wearing his special Esmeralda Blood Freeze shoes.

I am always a sucker for domestic scenes and love the one with him chopping and cooking with Mrs. Veded for his party.  The first person to arrive is Ellen with her new boyfriend/male fling/something.

Steven is blushing hardcore as he smiles at first.  I think it is pretty clear that they were involved romantically at some point in time previously.  This is backed up by the next page.  They hug while the other guy is just standing there and Ellen even tells Veded that her tentacles look great which is like your hair looks great.  I think.  She then finally introduces her date.

That is totally a sort of, yeah here was my past fling current date vibe there.  The other guests then start to arrive.  Everyone seems to know that Steven is overworked and they joke about helping him to party more.

What is most telling though is when he approaches Veded.  We can see that his shoes are his work shoes.  If he felt okay with the guests, than he’d perhaps wear non-vampire hunting shoes, but he’s got them on.

He thanks Veded for her help and makes it very very clear that she’s done for the night.  Only after she leaves does he get a severe expression and tells himself to get things started.

There are almost two pages of all the guests at the dinner party talking to each other in groups while Steven is - completely absent.  We only see him when he volunteers to get beer for a few people who are out from the kitchen.  When his back is turned to them, they all draw their bioweapons on him and it becomes awkward as they request that he come with them or else.  They lay down their job to capture him as a key member of Libra and he at first tries to jest with them.

His snark is on full force when he thanks them for not killing him violently and destroying his place.  But even more so that if they wasted that precious Veded roast beef.  If Steven cares about you - he really takes anything related to you seriously.  Was that roast beef made with care and attention?  Yes, thus, the roast beef is to be protected!

The entire group is frozen by his Needles of Absolute Zero attack and then he proceeds to tell them how they blew it.  The manga takes it even further with more examples of his observations of various people.  His comment about Ellen’s perfume continues the idea that they had been involved when he tells her, that she was previously worried about it being too strong.  You’d have to be up close and personal for someone to worry enough about if your perfume is too strong for them. 

They of course think that Steven has Libra do his dirty work but that is not the case, he reveals to them that he’s got his own squad to deal with threats like this - ones that can impact key members of Libra, like himself and eliminate them before they get to the rest of the team.  Their job is to maintain balance and Steven will maintain that balance.

Steven is also bold enough to reveal that Klaus wouldn’t condone what is about to happen to them with his personal crew but that being interrogated is not going to be good.

He leaves his subordinate to clean things up while he goes out for fresh air with a look of utter defeat and sadness.  The man can’t even have a dinner party without people wanting to kidnap/torture/kill him.  Fun times.  The fact that he goes out alone and then thinks back to the friends he froze and sent off for intel purposes.  That has got to suck on so many levels, but what would you do? Let them kill you? Use you to hurt your friends and colleagues and disrupt that balance?

His entire lambasting of himself for having too much fun and being normal is sad and pathetic in the worst way possible.  He can’t have any happiness or friends with his job.

Which is why when Veded stops by to check in on him with the party already being over it is so heart warming. He gets to thank her properly.  Technically, his party was a complete failure but she was great.  He also is polite and friendly with her kids.  How many times do humans in Kekkai Sensen act totally normal with Beyondians besides Leo that we see?

This entire interaction between Steven and Veded’s family and the cat shows that he’s someone who cares about all of the residents of HL and wants to protect all of them.  He also gives thanks and means it, not some sort of lip service.  Other than Leo, the only other character who has totally normal actions with Beyondians on a regular basis is Klaus, but Klaus is the ultimate example of this.  This is also before Zed joined their team so the current Libra line up lacked a full non-human.

Another aspect of Steven that is established very early on in volume 1 is how he will act when someone acts against Libra.  In this case, it is when Leo was kidnapped. 

He is organizing the entire team to rescue Leo to make it clear that whatever you do, Libra will comeback with way more force to make you suffer.  And the rest of the team doesn’t have an issue with this policy, they all follow it and operate with full force to stop the other party.  AKA, You hurt someone on my team, I will make you suffer tenfold more. 

We also get another example of Steven using any means necessary to acquire information in volume 6 about criminal activity in the city.  Including seducing a police officer and stealing a USB drive from her.  He clearly left her hot and bothered and is strolling along alone before spotting Klaus.  Whatever they were up to, he took of his jacket and tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt and things were getting heated.  Until he isn’t and he quickly makes himself presentable for the general public (which in his case is tie and jacket).

He’s cold as he shows him the drive.  Klaus didn’t even ask him to tell him about it, and Steven isn’t cocky either.

However, this is really it for the first ten volumes.  We know he has his personal squad for dirty but necessary deeds, has definitely used his sex appeal to his advantage and is very protective of those he cares about.

The story continues on with Kekkai Sensen Back 2 Back for another ten volumes.

Kekkai Sensen Back 2 Back increases the stakes for Steven’s actions

We get the return of Steven’s personal clean up squad, who also get some more fleshed out information than just being giant thugs.

The background is made clear, for two weeks, Klaus is traveling around the world for Libra business with Gilbert and K. K.  That’s right, Steven’s most frequent partner is out of the country.

We learn that Zapp and Zed are in the hospital after being seriously injured by a foe they barely escaped.  This indirectly tells us that someone is out there targeting Libra while Klaus, K.K. and Gilbert are away.  This means that Steven is in charge.

Patrick really hammers this home for the reading making it obvious that this was not normal and we get this guy named Garrett introduced.  He decides to purchase something crazy dangerous and Patrick is concerned about giving him something so powerful.

But in the end, he heads out (notice the number of deadbolts on that door!).

Of course this random guy named Garrett is immediately drawn in such a way that we are suspicious of him.  He looks like he’s just walking calmly away but then we see his face shaded in darkness.  He’s got an agenda for sure.

Obvious suspicious character warning 101 right here.  He proceeds to go into a diner.  A lithe individual with a baseball cap and glasses sits down next to him and does something super fast to connect to the man’s phone.  The mysterious team gain critical information and decide it is time to contact “Frost”.  I’m sorry Steven, but pick a better code name  9_9 . 

They speak simply in fear of someone else overhearing them and we can only think who will be woken up.  As in these individuals aren’t free to do their own things and have a specific job.

Garrett drives to an abandoned alleyway and arrives at his meeting place.  Only to find Steven alone.  He at first seems concerned and when he realizes it is Steven his eyes fly open in shock.

We see a very closed off and cold Steven.  He’s still slouching but subdued and not looking up either.  He is incredibly calm as he addresses Garrett making it clear that the jig is up and Garrett should give up.

Of course, those who he was working with appear.  It is the woman from before directly addressing him for figuring out that they’d infiltrated Libra.  Thus, Steven is also using himself as bait to draw out the nefarious party.  However, he makes it clear that Steven’s behavior is one where he lacks trust in them.

I would think that it is less about Steven not trusting them, but more that it is his job to protect them from having to deal with this.  Or that he feels that it is his job to protect the rest of the team from this dirty work.  Additionally, Steven wants to punish those who hurt his teammates. Way back in chapter 4, Steven made it clear if someone fucks with Libra they will respond in kind.  Of course he hasn’t changed how he feels about these sorts of things since he first appeared in volume 1.  She seriously injured Zed and Zapp and Steven is not going to let her forget about that.

His squad is able to pin down the tricky tentacle monster and he asks if they are going to kill her or not.  Yet, it seems that she might be in trouble having tussled with them even if they try to get information out of her.  Steven maintains a straight face at Garrett looks concerned.

The expression from Steven where he looks dumbfounded that Garrett is assuming that he’s a cold-blooded man seeing all beings as disposable which is harsh.  However, he does add that what will happen to her isn’t going to be pleasant.  Intelligence seems sexy when you think of James Bond movies and Spy x Family, but so much of it represents an incredibly dark side of human nature.  Think more along the lines of Tinker Tailor Solider Spy.  Focusing on the lack of humanity demonstrated by the agents and the KGB and what snippets we get today from US intelligence etc etc etc.

What is most interesting is that Steven takes the time to explain why he’s doing what he’s doing.  Which honestly, I don’t think Garrett needs or deserves this since the context would imply that Garrett was a voluntary defector trying to take down Libra.  The fact that he was eavesdropping on Leo’s conversation with Patrick and Neyka implies that Garrett was confirming that she hurt them and likely helped her to cross paths with them.

Steven is completely business about this.  He is managing a crisis, where he has a rat who has compromised the nature of Libra.  Yes, he’s going to find out what Garrett knows methodically.

In the face of such a terrifying thought, Garrett of course asks if this is the real Steven and throws out the obvious comparison to Klaus, upright to a fault.  This was the absolutely worst thing that he could say to Steven.  His eyes narrow and his expression becomes so awful that Garrett is shocked.

The bottom panel shows a man who is beyond upset.  He’s sad, disappointed, angry, resigned, foul, and worn out.  Steven doesn’t want to do this.  It isn’t like he gets up in the morning wondering if he’ll get to interrogate a traitor, who already injured several of his colleagues and was going to injure more.

The action then shifts to the morning as they had limited time to act at night to capture Garrett and get to work.  Steven is outside talking with his assistant as they discuss Garrett’s words about what Klaus would think about the situation.  The assistant notes that even though Klaus would ultimately reach the same conclusion, he would have tried to take on the pain of someone like Garrett until his actions resulted in the inevitable self-destruction by his actions, likely at the hands of Libra.

The nameless aid is trying his best to make Steven feel better.  He believes that one who is the direct aide to a leader is to keep that leader on their path by dealing with things that would distract them and prevent them from being overburdened with more responsibilities.  And here, I 100% think that Steven’s aide believes this and is how he does his job as the coordinator for Steven’s squad.

Steven ask him to confirm the statement and he makes it clear that it is the truth.  However,  the blank expression on Steven’s face tells us that he doesn’t have that sort of faith in his actions.  First, hesitant to speak and then only to say “That would be nice, but” and he never completes the statement.

The rest of the team wants him to return since they are having a post-mission office party.  I mean, gotta keep up team morale for preventing more damage to Libra.  In the end, Steven approves a drink for the strange baby genius and we never get to learn what Steven is thinking but it is clear that he does feel guilty and doesn’t want this to be a part of his job. 

This entire chapter shows that Steven is willing to do that it takes to protect the balance, in the city, within Libra and his friends and colleagues. 

But this chapter is a teaser preview for the next time that Steven wonders what is right and necessary in a crisis. Again, when he is in charge since Klaus was arrested and he ordered Steven to take the rest of the team and escape.

The evil human eating pot broke open releasing a monstrous creature that Leo rescued and took to the hospital.  Using the All Seeing Eyes of the Gods, he determines that the horrible creature is what remains of some of the victims of the pot and the auction house wants it returned to them to put back in the pot.

What is also important to note is that most of the team are present, K. K., Zapp, Zed, Leo and Steven.  Leo reveals to the group that the ‘thing’ is human and Steven hunches over it asking if it is alive.

The group needs to determine what to do next.  He then looks to the medical professionals for an opinion, where they aren’t sure what to do other than note, it is seriously messed up.  Steven knows that it will likely draw trouble to them or cause more so he keeps his back to them when he tells them to leave.  The flushed expression on his face and inability to see his eyes tells us that he’s thinking of how to put it out of its misery.

He’s officially the one in charge and he’s thinking about what is the least risky thing to do.  Leo argues back that the children that were fed to it are still alive and this wasn’t their choice.  But the one who agrees with Steven is Zapp who manifests his blade and tells Leo to think rationally.  The easiest way is to prevent it from returning to the jar and completing the curse.

Zapp is thinking that these already non-humans have to be sacrificed to prevent the worse option from happening.

However, Zed then jumps in to fight Zapp, agreeing with Leo that it isn’t their place to kill it.  What is really great about the entire scene is that no morality is black or white and the Libra team are all using slightly different ways to look at the exact same situation.  As Zed and Zapp come to blows, Luciana stops them and makes it clear that no one is fighting or killing anything in the hospital. 

Steven then asks if they can remove it from the hospital to destroy it elsewhere.  The facial expression that he has is just so - ugh - why are you trying to hold this entire burden yourself Steven?

Yes, you are going to use the letter of the law to defeat the spirit of the law.  He looks absolutely terrible trying to think about what to do to protect everyone else.  Unlike the previous chapter with his interrogation squad and their hyper rational mindset that a second in command must do what ever it takes to support their leader, K. K. finally speaks having sat quietly in the background.  She does not mince her words, instead she acts like the brakes on his runaway train of thought.  Asking if he’s sure about it and using his full name for emphasis.  And then asking the question again implying he’d drop to the level he’s thinking about going.

And as she asks him, she furthermore tells him that she thought he was on the same page as Klaus and his beliefs.  This causes him to snap back into the situation.  We can see that his eyes are back to being both focused and more open in shock at her direct words to him.  K. K. isn’t screaming at him or being passionate, she delivered her words calmly and directly.  And it works.  The grim unfocused expression then becomes aware and  we can see his facial expression has shifted to tense and upset.  He was literally trying to disassociate himself from the situation until K. K. drags him back from the abyss.

Now, that pause is good as it stops Steven from snowballing himself to his own personal mental hell and more guilt.  It is also bad as it has given the brutal Tycoon brothers time to arrive to steal it back.  As their vampire gate manifests above him we see the look of absolute fear on Steven’s face as he’s seriously fucked.

With the situation spiraling out of control, it speaks to the level of trust between Steven and K. K.  The two of them immediately spring into action to give the rest of the team time to escape.  Steven’s kick is blocked and he gets tossed over K. K. who dodges him and manages to get close range shots at them.

K. K. may have questioned Steven’s potential action but she’s still going to defend her partner.  With Steven down for a short time, K. K. orders Leo, Zapp and Zed to leave.  Zapp tries to get in on the action -

Only for Steven to tell him to retreat.  K. K. and Steven are better equipped to fight them and they need someone to protect Leo and the escaped merged human monster from the pot.  The way that K. K. and Steven naturally stand up and next to each other shows that they know what the need to do.  Additionally, neither of them actually exchanged words.  Both of them gave orders to the rest of the group and not to each other.  This is different than our earlier K. K. and Steven scenes where Steven tries to keep them focused and K. K. complains about being teamed up with him.  They’ve fully accepted and understand how they work as a team. 

To convince Zapp to retreat, Steven still has to tell Zapp that he needs to do so and that he trusts him enough to figure out how to make things work.  Steven is an excellent manager of people and it shows when Zapp stands down.

Of course the situation becomes dire as Steven and K. K. get seriously wounded trying to take on the brothers.  Only Leo is able to step in to mess with their vision thus allowing for both groups to retreat.

Is the fact that Steven got seriously wounded sort of karmic for thinking about destroying it?  Likely not, as K. K. also suffered the same fate.

When Leo is on the run with the child monster of the pot, it is Steven who sneaks out of the hospital with K. K. of course.  I find it adorable that he apologizes to her as though his actions are inconveniencing her and she only smiles in reply knowing that he would not be able to sit back and recover while Leo was in danger.

K. K. knows him too well and she only can tease him that he’d have to become involved.  The humor then shifts when Steven gets to some sort of stash he has in a parking garage.  K. K. then gets to bitch at him for having a hidden change of clothing (since it is clearly a personal stash for him).  But the second panel is adorable.  We see his hand already wearing his blue shirt hold out a spare pair of pants.  And he apologizes asking if they would be okay.  Both Steven and K. K. are blushing as she accepts it.  You can see the blush under Steven’s right eye and K. K. under her left.  But that’s not all, being the gentleman that he is, he continues to change in the garage with his back to her as she puts on the pants in the car.

He unlocks his phone and gets on the Libra network while tightening his tie.  All Libra members are to find and protect Leo.  Right after sending it, he gets a backlog of Klaus’ texts to him after he broke out of jail.  That look of absolute shock as Steven has returned to his full strict mom mode.

That look of annoyance as he can’t get a hold of Klaus!  As the Calamity Auction arc comes to an end, the group are able to reconnect with Klaus and Leo at the shifting dimensional auction house.  As the hardworking teammates return to his aid, Klaus gives them a simple “Thank you.”

He’s looking a little rough around the edges but had committed to protecting Leo and the inhuman-human pot victim.  The expression on Steven’s face as Klaus continues to say that he’s been waiting for them.  Interestingly, this time, when we only see Steven’s mouth and nose, we don’t need to worry about if his eyes look unfocused and burdened.  The serious expression, softens to a grin and we know that Steven is glad to have Klaus back. 

They are best when they are all functioning as a team.  I look at it this way, Libra is the extra-governmental organization that maintains the balance of the worlds.  And within Libra itself each team member maintains balance within the organization to give the world balance.  The entire team rushed there to help Klaus so he didn’t hold the burden alone with Leo.  They are stronger as a team than as individuals.

Another great scene is in the chaotic final a battle, K. K. and Steven work together to hamper part of Curious’ personal team.  K. K. spots the monitoring spy eye.  She shoots it out preventing a remote response.

And right after K. K. does her job, Steven steps in to finish it off after K. K.’s electrified bullets do their action.  Again, no verbal communication between these two.  They really work well together.

Seriously, the level of understanding between them is great.

What I really liked about the whole season of Back 2 Back was how it took a lot of the moral grey area questions and pulled them front and center.  It continues to force the cast to ask themselves hard questions to which there are no correct answers to.  Instead, those questions are answered on each person’s individual morality and limits.  What actions can these people take and still sleep well at night.  What is something they cannot do.

Steven is a complex character - and therefore, likely why many readers really like him.  He isn’t someone who does questionable things because they are the most logical or rational way to act in the situation.  He’s doing them out of his role in Libra, to protect others and to maintain the balance in the big picture.  He tries to carry the burden of his actions and finds himself not convinced by the words of his own personal problem solving squad.  Which tells us that he likely wants to be able to be more like Klaus or Leo than like them. 

Steven understands worry -  I think back to the first volume where Steven sees how worried Klaus is - trying to look calm when Leo was kidnapped and then reminding himself that Klaus is tying himself in knots.  It is clear that any member of the cast can slide down that slippery slope of ‘but it was required for the cause.’  I feel like there is more to the interaction in the hospital as Zapp does not hesitate to second what Steven is thinking.  Zapp doesn’t want to do something terrible but he also thinks of the bigger picture.  Zed falls on the other side making them a two versus two.  Until K. K. steps in and calls Steven out.  It goes to show how much Steven respects K. K. and likely does not see her as someone to give orders to like Zapp, Leo or Zed and instead sees her as a peer.

Steven was clearly betrayed in the past - What I really want are Steven and K. K.’s backstories.  I think that it would really inform us of how they came to be and why both of them are so strong and stubborn at times.  I can’t help but think that Steven’s scar came from a situation where his trust was betrayed or someone in charge seriously fucked up.  He will not let that shit happen again, not with his team the only people he cares about besides his housekeeper.  And the general public at large.

K. K. is Steven’s other half - The two of them are an amazing pair.  They don’t need to speak and when they do, they are either apologizing or annoying the other one.  Yet, they totally respect each other.  Steve keeps K. K. serious and focused at times while she prevents him from digging himself into a deeper moral black hole. 

Steven is overly involved in making sure that things work and it clearly is something that he feels like he has to do or need to do.  When there might be other options.

Daniel Law leaves us off with his own personal motto, “It is my general rule to not trust anyone.” 

Sooooo really, Steven has more faith in people than our police detective. 

In the future, Steven, please get a therapist.  Take some time off for a spa day, shopping for new [same] yellow ties, trying to get his messy hair styled, reading multiple print newspapers and drink high quality small batch roasted coffee.  Or buy more artwork for your swanky condo and most importantly, please sleep.

[capnsaltsquid]

For any of my followers who are worried about today's events, here's the take from an old(ish) progressive: this is a positive development.

Very few people in the democratic base were excited when Biden announced he was running for a second term, especially since he had originally campaigned as a "transitional president" who would pave the way for the next generation. There was a sense of betrayal when the DNC threw its full support behind him early on, discouraging competitive candidates from throwing their hats in the ring and limiting Biden's primary oppostion to a few token unelectables.

Make no mistake, I voted for Biden in the primary because I am a pragmatist and I would vote for a month-old corpse to keep the Heritage Foundation's autocratic and theocratic wet dream from coming true. But I have always been nervous about his chances of winning the general election since no one I talked to was enthusiastic about his candidacy.

My instincts tell me that very few people will be incensed that their vote in the primaries didn't amount to much, because the primary result was a forgone conclusion as soon as Biden announced his candidacy anyway. No democrat with nationwide recognition was going to try to unseat the incumbent and risk being seen as disloyal, and none of the other challengers had the war chest to mount a serious campaign.

Although it took some prodding, Biden has done the right thing. He finally put the good of the country over his ego, which is something Trump could never do. Support is coalescing around Kamala Harris, and after Trump's dismal showing at the RNC this is her opportunity to shine.

Just remember to get out there and vote. Every single ballot matters, don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.

[cursedfell]

amrynn story!

name: amrynn

age: 23

gender: trans guy

sexuality: bi

you. I will Figure you out.

story for him being inquisitor: amrynn voice i really do fucking NOT want this i fucking hate you all and makes sure to                                                                            /                   voice this at every turn.

damn bitch he just chaotic. 

Personality: Amrynn is a hardened and fiercely independent elf who carries the weight of a dark past. Shaped by a childhood of servitude, cruelty, and bloodshed, he exudes a sharp, often abrasive demeanor, quick to lash out with biting words or sarcasm. He is distrustful and proud, rarely showing vulnerability, and prefers to keep his emotions closely guarded behind a mask of aloofness or hostility. Amrynn’s experiences have bred a deep-seated anger within him, which sometimes manifests in cruel or reckless behavior, especially when he feels provoked or threatened.

Despite his harsh exterior, Amrynn is not entirely without a sense of morality or compassion. His time in the Inquisition has softened his edges, even if only slightly, allowing him to grow beyond the singular identity of an assassin or blood mage. Helping others, though not his primary motivation, has brought about a reluctant change in him, making him more caring and more willing to connect with people, albeit on his own terms. However, his pride prevents him from openly expressing gratitude or admitting when he cares about someone, often masking his concern with teasing or indifference.

Amrynn is a pragmatist who sees the world in shades of gray and has no patience for idealism or blind optimism. He believes power and survival come first, especially for marginalized groups like mages and elves, whose plights he deeply empathizes with. His views on blood magic are unyielding; he sees it not as inherently evil but as a tool that can be used for good or ill, depending on the individual wielding it. He resents those who demonize it without understanding its potential, finding such attitudes hypocritical or narrow-minded.

Above all, Amrynn is defined by a fierce will to live life on his own terms. He despises being controlled or treated as a tool, and he harbors a deep disdain for those who would attempt to manipulate him. Although he may occasionally indulge in violence or cruelty, he is not entirely lost to his darker impulses; there is still a part of him that seeks redemption or at least a purpose beyond revenge and survival. However, earning his trust is no easy feat, as it takes more than kind words or promises to break through the walls he has carefully built around himself.

family:

lived in an alienage, where it was normal for families to sell off their children to be servants/slaves. amrynn sold to a rich noble family in ferelden, a servant for the noble family for many years. ( maybe birth family originally from clan lavellan, but left to an alienage? mother from the clan, and father from a different clan, both left? too poor to handle children. )

paivyn! thankful for their relationship, but would never say it out loud. too proud for that. learns to appreciate him.

clan leader (?)

backstory:

sold when he is 6 into a noble family, a servant to the young lord of the family. picked on/teased quite often by the lord and his friends, amrynn never fought back. lots of other stuff happened to him, stuff that he would rather stay in the past + never talk about.  in the family for a few years, and the blight hits. their home attacked by darkspawn, amrynn has known since a young lad that he could control magic. kills the darkspawn before they can kill the young lord, and then turns around and kills him himself. in a very cruel manner, makes sure that he suffers. ( maybe takes the time to slowly kill the other family members, especially the ones who bought him. ‘ let it be remembered that i am not your toy/you never should have brought a knife ear into your home ‘ ) anger slowly stems from here. makes it look like the darkspawn are the one who brutally murdered the family.

before the family dies, amrynn used to go into the marketplace, heard elven for the first time. found a book on elven to learn what he could in his spare time as a serving boy for the household? 

maybe lives in ferelden/travels around ferelden for a little bit before fleeing to the free marches, makes a name for himself. maybe a contract killer for the town that he lives in, learns how to use daggers to protect himself + the most efficient way to take lives. haunted by the lives he took as a child, just to keep himself from starving on the streets. this is how the old practitioner finds amrynn, hears about assassin elf, tracks him down to take him in + make him his apprentice. in a small village outside of denerim maybe? or maybe it was lothering until it was destroyed, need to figure out where and especially during the civil war. teaches him for many years, 

older practitioner dies, maybe protecting amrynn from darkspawn, dies in a horrific way in front of amrynn, maybe darkspawn devour him, feast on him like the last supper. amrynn hidden, maybe forced into a wardrobe, sealed by blood magic as practitioner fends off the darkspawn for as long as he can until taken down by them, eaten alive. his screams will forever haunt amrynn. stuck in the wardrobe for three days until the magic finally wears off/practitioner finally dies. alive for three days? it happens, and amrynn forced to listen to him wheeze/beg for death.  

fled to the northern free marches, lavellan clan ( maybe comes later? ) not a home, but close enough to one. 

timeline: for me

born. with his family for a short while. 

sold at age 6.

age 10, kills the family he was sold to.

age 12, makes a name for himself as an assassin.

age 13, olden practitioner finds him, teaches him blood magic.

age 15/16, practitioner dies, leaves ferelden.

age 17, finds lavellan clan

age 22. made first to the keeper.

age 23, sent to the conclave

magic:

BLOOD MAGIC!!!!!!!!!! ( with the mark, more of a last resort? doesn’t use it very often, but can, and will. terrifying with it, op. )

elemental/primal magic? ( will have to play and see the kind of magics there is )

companions:

cassandra: [ coming soon ]

iron bull: [ coming soon ]

dorian: [ coming soon ]

cole: [ coming soon ]

vivian: [ coming soon ]

varric: [ coming soon ]

sera: [ coming soon ]

blackwall: [ coming soon ]

cullen: [ coming soon ]

josephine:: [ coming soon ]

leliana: grows to trust in her, more so than anyone else in the inquisition. admires her. she challenges him at every corner, compromises with him on decisions, open to explaining things that he doesn’t understand when it comes to the political aspects of the inquisition. trusts her judgement.

in the inquisition:

has DEFINITELY bit his left hand + licked the mark. ( while closing one of those portal things i dont remember what they’re called, has also bitten his hand while closing it. like the feral little man he is.

When he gets it in his head to do something, or that something is the right thing to do to him, he’ll stare down the whole damn world trying to get it done.

dude ok ive been thinking and like. amrynn being in the inquisition and like...getting to help people, etc etc, like....he's Still an asshole but it changes him in a way that makes him more caring and more....of a Person rather than having one character trait of being an asshole

story for him being a companion that the inquisitor can recruit:

about the same, but not inquisitor, dedicated to them, leaves the clan to find inquisitor if elf. either skyhold or haven, dunno.

starting quest: 

depending on if lavellan inquisitor: whispering woods. there’s rumors about an apostate mage running about, causing a loud ruckus and trying to find answers about what happened at the conclave -- or specifically, what happened to another apostate mage up there. upon taking this request, amrynn can be found outside of redcliffe harassing a templar, either having his arm twisted behind his back or face being shoved in the ground: either demanding for him to get his leader, or threatening to tear his face off if he doesn’t tell him anything he knows about the conclave. 

human inquisitor: just about the same as lavellan, amrynn just won’t be as welcoming to your party when you come across him threatening a templar.

dwarf inquisitor: ^

qunari inquisitor: ^

personal quest:

amrynn has been tracking down his birth family since arriving at the inquisition. ( he has for awhile now, but with leliana and her spy network, he’s able to track them down. )  he requests that the inquisitor take the time to come with him to an alienage to find his family. 

basically going to end in 3 different ways. 

your first choice is making amrynn let them go, which he greatly disapproves of and you might have the chance of ruining anything romantic between the two of you + a good chance of him leaving the inquisition, depending on how much the two of you have bonded. 

the choice of letting him kill his parents in a very brutal manner, while you watch. you watch him slowly torture them. thought his anger would be better once he killed his parents, but once he’s through with them, he will turn to you and tell you that he needs to leave. he’ll leave your party and you’ll be taken back to skyhold. 

or, you can have the choice to have them thrown in prison for them selling their child, which amrynn still disapproves of, but there’s no chance of ruining the romance between the two of you.

romance quest:

depending on what choice you made, there’s three different ways to romance him. 

depending on where the two of you are at in terms of your relationship, there is a chance that when you come to talk to him, he’ll tell you that whatever the inquisitor thought was going to happen between them was a fools dream, and tell you that he’s leaving the inquisition. if you have a high enough approval rating, but not high enough, he’ll tell you that he does not wish to pursue anything with your inquisitor and that’ll end your romance. if your approval was higher, amrynn will tell you that he needs time to come to terms with the inquisitor’s choice in not allowing him to get the revenge he’s been seeking for years, but that he does want to have something to do with you. he tells you that while he hates what they did, he’ll later come to admit that maybe it’s better to let them rot in the alienage, rather than giving them a swift end. and he might come to thank you, as well, for not letting him take his revenge. 

if you allowed him to kill his parents, amrynn is missing from the inquisition. the inquisitor has a message on the war table from clan lavellan, letting the inquisitor know ( if the inquisitor is from clan lavellan and the clan survive, the keeper sends a letter to the inquisitor informing them on how the clan is doing, etc. etc. ) that the first to the keeper ( calls him amrynn in the letter, if inquisitor is from clan lavellan, returned to the clan to help with recovering from the attack ) has returned to clan lavellan and will be staying until further notice. the inquisitor has three options.

leliana -- let leliana send elven agents to slip into the dalish camp and convince amrynn to come back (?) maybe. 

cullen -- will send troops to formally ask for amrynn to be escorted back to the inquisition. 

josephine -- elven scribes delivers a message to request that the keeper send amrynn back at the earlier convenience + send assistance to help with reparations to the clan.

it doesn’t matter on the choice that the inquisitor makes, it takes a few missions to pass the time but when you come back to skyhold, you’ll find amrynn waiting for you in your room. ( ‘ ‘ )

approval:

amrynn loves aggressive responses, favored over kind/passive responses. 

approves of decisions that support mages/elves.

approves when blood magic is talked about in a way that isn’t all about demons, etc. understands the trouble that is blood magic, but hates when its seen as demonic. truly believes that blood magic could be used for day to day issues, it depends on how someone uses it, not inherently evil. + does not believe that those who get swayed by a demon are weak and don’t deserve to have ever gotten into using blood magic. 

disapproves when you just fucking Exist.

[notstilinski]

Dead Silence Starters !

Taken from the 2022 novel by S.A. Barnes, Dead Silence! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! 

“My crew… Their dead but I didn’t kill them.”

“It’s fine. Better if you’d shut up and let me concentrate.”

“Why are you always defending them? We’re not a real team. We all just got stuck with a shitty assignment for the last go.”

“Show some respect. You’re not in charge here.”

“I don’t believe you. Talk to me.”

“(Name). You scare the hell out of me sometimes, you know that?”

“What are you waiting for? Let’s get out of here and report it. It’s like staring at a mass grave.”

“Oh, yeah. Exactly. That’s the kind of crazy I’m talking about.”

“Has anyone ever managed to talk you out of anything?”

“Buddy system, right?”

“And, yet, somehow you managed to survive. And it’s not even the first time ‘lone survivor’ has been attached to your name. Is it?”

“You do seem particularly susceptible to… Shall we say, instability, to begin with.”

“Since when has practicality ever stopped a rich guy from doing anything?”

“Is it possible for you to be more offensive?”

“This way to fame and fortune, bitches!”

“Looks like they were barricading themselves in.”

“No, sweetheart, I’m a pragmatist. And a survivor.”

“Smart means scared. And in this case, poor.”

“Can you get to the point before (Name) kills me?”

“I don’t want to leave them behind, but I don’t want to lock myself in a tomb with them, either.”

“Why apologize to them? It’s our lives you’re ruining.”

“You’re either the bravest person I ever met or the craziest.”

“This is fun. I’m uncomfortable.”

“Enough to let them discard you when they’re done with you?”

“(Name)… (Name). Is it okay if I close my eyes?”

“Hoping I didn’t kill us all by deciding to do this.”

“No thanks, I prefer my stomach lining intact.”

“And I’m not avoiding you. I was trying to give you the space you seemed to want.”

“You’re not exactly easy to figure out sometimes, (Name).”

“Everyone you care about dies. Because of you.”

“It hurts to want things.”

“You know (Name) won’t be rolling in here until ten seconds before.”

“It’s too dangerous. I am too dangerous.”

“It doesn’t happen much anymore, not when everything’s normal. But right now? I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. Which means I am a danger. And I cannot take the risk of hurting anyone again. You need to remove me from the equation until we’re back.”

“You are so determined to blame yourself.”

“You wouldn’t hurt someone, not on purpose.”

“People died the last time I didn’t distance myself!”

“You’re not fucking suggesting the hat this place is haunted, are you?”

“Ghosts and aliens? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“You’re not seriously suggesting that I fractured the back of my own skull.”

“I would have never left them.”

“Are you sure about that? Old habits die hard, too.”

“So it’s my fault no matter what?”

“I am not leading innocent people to their deaths!”

“I think it’s impossible for any of us to know what we would or would not do after experiencing what you’ve been through.”

“Surviving is nothing to be ashamed of, (Name).”

“Maybe that’s why you don’t remember it. You don’t want to.”

I made it. I survived the night.”

“Not exactly the luxury cruise you were expecting?”

“Is there any scenario in which you don’t boot my ass?”

“Look I don’t like you, but you could be useful.”

“Let me out! Let me out! I won’t hurt them again, I promise…”

“He’s not going to stop. He’s going to kill you.”

“You’re going to die, unless you kill him first…”

“Shut up! I was useful to you. That’s all.”

“Isn’t that what we all want? To be useful, valuable. For our contributions to matter. To leave a legacy that remains after we’re gone.”

“If you can’t trust yourself, can you trust me?”

“At least this way (Name)’s name will be remembered. All their names will be remembered.”