#since I’ve got some stuff I want to post like more book post before the year is finished

[gatheryepens]

…

[urrockstar-xe]

winter formal - p.parker x fem!reader

aka a starstruck christmas

posted jan 2nd, 2024 8:55pm

this is specifically for @heywardsarchive who said i should make a part 2 so thank u pals :D

this is also fairly late, happy new year, thanks for being here.

summary; although reader misses hanging around her special spider friend, her crush on a certain peter parker boy has her distracted use of Y/n

starstruck does not need to be read first to enjoy this!

starstruck

masterlist

wordcount: 2.1

It had been a few weeks since you had seen that familiar spider up close, nothing more than him swinging from afar, not that you should’ve been complaining. All of your time was being taken up by studying and then getting tutored by that Midtown High kid, Peter Parker. He was a lot cooler than you had expected but the fact all you did when hanging out was math really tainted the image of him in your head.

no matter how pretty he was.

Although with the holidays, more crime typically followed Santa around the globe so you weren’t exactly surprised how Spidey was extra busy this time of year.

Yet you still sighed in disappointment when you got home and once again met a note on your windowsill. 

”Hey, pretty lady, stopped by but you weren’t in :( can’t wait til you’re done with your tutoring sessions” 

The note was short but still, it brought a stupid little smile to your face, pulling out the notebook from your backpack, you wrote a note of your own.

”miss you spidey”

you set it on the outside of your window, setting a small rock from your desk on top so that it wouldn’t run away in the wind before quickly shutting your bedroom window and shivering from the cold.

“Maybe I should get a onesie”

~

“Y/n? You still with me?” Peter asked, grabbing your attention away from the window of the coffee shop you sat in. “Yeah, sorry, Peter” You give a quiet laugh, looking back at the window for a second, just checking to see if he’s out there before turning back to Peter, who was looking at you with a soft smirk. 

“What, why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, earning a laugh from the boy as he set his pen down.

“When did I lose you?” He asked, ignoring your question. “I don’t know,” You shrugged, honestly.

Peter shook his head, his smile unmoving as he closed the book in front of him. He leaned back into the leather of the booth, turning his gaze to your face. “Can’t get you focused at all lately” He joked, but not really. “I’m sorry” You gave him a half smile, hoping it would help your apology come off as genuine, just earning another laugh from the boy as he took his glasses off. 

God, he’s so hot. dude don’t think like that he’s right there

oh god what if he’s a mind read-

“Y/n? Again? C’mon, sweetheart” He chuckled, snapping you out of your thoughts. You laughed with him this time. “I’ve just got like no sleep lately,” You explained, ignoring the way your heart sped up at the pet name and earning a sympathetic smile and nod from Peter. “Is there a reason why?” He asked, leaning forward just slightly as if you were sharing secrets. 

“It feels like waiting for a phone call every night” You shrugged, not missing how Peter’s face fell at your words.

“Oh, boy trouble?” He asked, quieter this time. “something like that” he just hummed in response, not wanting to press any further. 

“Well, if you need a distraction, there’s this school thing-“ “Oh you mean at Nerdtown High?” You cut him off with a tease, laughing at how Peter scoffed and couldn’t help his smile. “Yeah, it’s like a winter formal dance thing, I’m in charge of takin’ pictures and stuff, could use some company” He shrugged, not wanting to just outwardly ask you. 

“And I have a special invite from the photographer himself?” You feigned a flattered face, dramatically putting your hand over your heart.

“Yes,” he laughed, “if you want to come, that is.” He shrugs, smiling at you. You mimicked his actions from earlier, leaning forward into the end of the table, still far enough to not feel his breath but close enough to make Peter slightly tilt his head as if unsure of what you were doing. 

Okay, so maybe how pretty he was did make a difference

“So, what are we wearing?” You asked, smiling.

~

The last-minute invite limited your options but luckily you managed to dig up something from your closet and accessorize enough to feel good about how you looked. While you were putting your earrings in, a knock hit your window, interrupting your giddy feelings about going to a school dance with Peter. 

Your head whipped around when there was a second knock, knowing now who it was as you got up and quickly opened the window, laughing at how Spidey dramatically fell into your room, completely on purpose. 

“hi” You smiled, putting on your jacket to shield yourself from the cold. “hey, pretty lady” Spider-man’s voice was distorted, muffled almost but also sounded like he was purposely making his voice quieter and deeper. “Why do you sound like that?” You laughed as you asked the question.

“Got a cold” he shrugged, before looking you up and down. “You look nice” Spiderman nodded, as if in approval but also as if he had to shut up before saying more.

“Thanks, don’t stare too much though, I’ve got a date!” You teased, smiling excitedly as you sat back down and focused on the red color lining your lips before blending it with your fingertip.

“A date huh?” He asked, not even trying to hide his shock at this point. You sigh, dramatically looking back at Spiderman, earning a chuckle at your theatrics. “Well, I think it’s a date, but if you ask questions, it sucks the fun out of it.” He nodded as if he understood your explanation.

He didn’t.

“You remember that tutor I mentioned?” 

Spidey hummed in response, making himself comfortable on your old bean bag chair, watching you finish getting ready.

“It’s with him” You spoke with a giddy light to your voice as you applied lip oil over the red on your lips. 

The silence from the usually obnoxious talkative spider caught your attention.

And while you didn’t know why, it was because he was internally panicking. 

“Thought he was like a total nerd” He laughed awkwardly, worried he’d blow his cover.

“Oh, he totally is,” You chose to ignore the scoff from Spidey as you continued speaking. “But, he’s also like charming and funny, and he’s so fuckin cute, he calls me sweetheart and like how he rambles apologies whenever he’s late and he always insists on walking me home even though I'm way out of his way for his own walk. Oh my gosh and the other day he hugged me which reminded me so much of that scene at the end of Tangled, like he just hugged all of me, does that make sense? Like he needed to be as close as possible, Ugh”

As you rambled on about your almost embarrassing crush on Peter, all he could hear was his heart pounding in his chest, he had spent weeks as Spiderman, coming to your rescue for mundane tasks, going as far as leaving notes when he wanted to see you but couldn’t. 

Here he was thinking Peter Parker was ruining his plans as your math tutor, meanwhile, He was the one you couldn’t stop rambling about.

Not Spiderman

But Peter.

He was freaking the fuck out.

“Oh my god, what time is it?” You asked, cutting off Peter’s Spiderman’s thoughts as you urgently looked for your phone. “Spidey, you know I love you, babe, but he’s gonna be here like any second.” You offered an apologetic smile as Spiderman waved it off, a way to say It’s all good, 

“Hey, have fun tonight, pretty lady!” He said, clearing his throat as if he was trying not to cough, and before you had a chance to respond, Spiderman was gone. 

~

“Did I mention how pretty you look?” Peter asked as he snapped another picture of you, complimenting you for the 5th, no 6th time tonight.

not that you’d been counting

You smiled, shaking your head. “No, I don’t think you have” You teased, earning that laugh that felt so painfully familiar in return.

“Hey, I have a question for you,” Peter started, still unsure about your previous conversation with Spiderman, even if you laid out all he’d need to know. 

The christmas lights and hanging snowflakes around the room suddenly became incredibly interesting to you as you nodded, avoiding all hints of eye contact possible, and silently thanking anyone who was listening in prayer as instead of looking at you, he started photographing other students and teachers dancing around the room to the Christmas music playing. 

Peter bit the inside of his cheek as he thought out his next few words, trying to not talk himself out of it. Distracting himself by taking photos of his classmates, he finally spoke.

“Do you prefer Pepsi or Coke?” 

coward

You laughed at the question, so it must’ve counted for something, right?

Or that’s at least what he had hoped as he smiled and listened to your unnecessary rant of an answer.

~

You shoved your hands into the pockets of Peter’s jacket that you were currently wearing at his insistence, of course, not being able to help yourself as you did a quick scan of the sky as Peter walked you home. 

He didn’t need instructions on how to get there anymore.

“Lookin' for something?” He asked, nudging you lightly.

Why did he always notice you looking for Spiderman?

“Someone, actually” You smiled at him, turning your gaze to your shoes, counting the cracks under your feet. 

“Oh,” play it cool, Peter. “Spiderman?” Was that too obvious?

You shrugged, looking at Peter with your head tilted.

“Didn’t know you were a fan” He continued, his turn now to count the cracks. 

“Yeah, something like that” you chuckled to yourself, shaking your head before looking at Peter, watching as he smiled softly at the concrete beneath his feet. 

“I had a really great time tonight, Peter” You sighed, nudging him slightly once your apartment complex came into view, even if you still had 3 more minutes of walking.

You really enjoyed your walks home with Peter. Of course, you counted how long the walks were.

“Me too” he nudged back, stopping for a moment and getting your attention by the feeling of his scarf getting tossed around your shoulders, you stopped walking now, allowing him to properly adjust the soft fabric around your neck making it two items of his you were now wearing.

“Can’t have you catching a cold for the holidays” Peter whispered, soft eyes moving to look into yours upon realizing how close you were. “Course not” you agreed in the same tone.

The moment lasted for however much time wasn’t enough, ending with the sound of police sirens, you both turned at the sound, watching as 2, 3, 4 cop cars rushed past you both. 

“Think I know where Spidey’s been” You mumble to yourself, though not missing the quiet laugh from Peter as he threw his arm around your shoulder, urging you to keep walking, seeming to be sort of rushing now. 

You didn’t question it, it was getting late and you knew he didn’t like leaving May alone too late into the night, it makes her worry would be all he told you anyway, so why pry?

You also had quickly decided to try and forget about the ruined moment, content in feeling as he wrapped his arms around your waist, forcing your arms around his neck in the hug you had loved so much and a quiet “I’ll see you in two weeks” mumbled into the shoulder of his your jacket.

Shit, winter break, you almost forgot about that

“Merry Christmas, Peter” You mumbled back, holding your breath as he pulled away and not letting it go til after you opened the door to the lobby. 

“Hey,” his voice made you turn around, tilting your head like a silent question mark.

“Merry Christmas, Sweetheart” 

~

The words replay in your head even still as you lie in your bed, waiting for your dreams to overtake you. How he looked at you and how he spoke the words so softly, despite having heard him call you Sweetheart a dozen times by now, you couldn’t get over it.

That seemed to mix with the anxiety you were feeling about whatever was going on with those policemen tonight, why was he not following? Was he already there? Is it about what’s had him so occupied the last few weeks?

The unanswered questions of worry and giddy feelings of adoration put you in a seemingly never-ending loop of anxiety that you were completely unable to come out no matter how hard-

Thump thump thump 

You sat up, almost giving yourself whiplash with how you turned to look at your window. 

Thump thump

They were weaker that time, uh oh.

[theabigailthorn]

Hey I’ve been a fan for a little while now, and I just wanted to say that you’ve been an inspiration for me, a younger transfemme. But I do wanna also ask: what’s it like being a trans woman with her life together? I’m 19 (as of sending), been on hrt for almost 5 months, and have been trans for a year and change. But I’m scared. So, I guess, I wanted to ask: does being trans ever become the norm, my baseline? What’s it like after 2-3 years? And does it get any less confusing or scary?

I think there are a few things going on here.

I don't have my life together as much as it might seem; I just don't show you all the ways it's not. I don't talk publicly about the auditions I don't get, or the things I try and fail at, or the insecurities in my own head that hold me back sometimes, or the handful of decisions I've made that were bad calls and which still keep me up occasionally. I've talked about trauma and mental illness in the past, but I only ever discuss stuff I'm comfortably over - when I'm overwhelmed or in the middle of a crisis I don't post about it. I don't set out to deceive you by presenting myself that way, I just keep my most private stuff private. Everybody has failures and regrets and insecurities: "it's a sign of having lived," as my friend Phoebe told me today. But you see a curated version of me that appears not only more together than the real person, but more together than any real person.

Also, if you're 19 a lot of your life hasn't been in your control until pretty recently and a lot of it still might not be. I'd say it's okay to not feel like you have it all together. You just transitioned, which I think is one of the hardest things a human being can do: you can give yourself credit for that even if you feel like you're not settled into it yet. Congratulations!

As for it becoming the baseline, I mean yeah? Kinda? At least for me. Sometimes I forget. I had a moment today in the gym where I saw a man and I was like "Oh yeah, I used to be one of them, sortof? Weird!" The first year is the hardest, or so they say. I wouldn't say I get less confused or scared now, just scared and confused in different ways. I worry less about getting attacked in the street than I did in my first year, for example. (I'm lucky and privileged in that regard.) But I worry a lot more about other people. I struggle a lot with survivor's guilt, which is something only people who survive get! Anyone who's had a drink with me in the last six months has heard me beat myself up because the night of The Prince premiere in New York was the night of Brianna Taylor's vigil in the UK. That wasn't a deliberate decision - the premiere was booked and paid for months before she was even killed - but I've become a lot more sensitive to those sorts of feelings precisely because I spend less time worrying about myself. I'm more aware now of what my transness means for other people. Like, I made an ironic joke when I came out that I'd become The Transgender Princess of TERF Island, and it's kindof haunted me since - I didn't set out to become "a famous trans person" but it's happened a little bit and it's going to happen a lot more next year. That comes with serious responsibilities and a few mild drawbacks, as well as perks, obviously. So I guess that's a longwinded way of saying I might be a weird person to ask this question because, at least for right now, my transness, my whole self, doesn't just belong to me.

Oh also, some great advice I got from my friends: Paris: "Only change the things that bother you on your good days," and Mattie: "Don't believe anything you think about your life after 9pm."

[prettieinpink]

CREATING A STUDY SCHEDULE/ROUTINE 

PLANNING/SCHEDULING

LIST YOUR ACADEMIC STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES. This is so you can allocate time accordingly and avoid wasting any time. 

PRIORITISE ANY SUBJECTS. These may be subjects that will help you in your future career or just a subject you especially want a good grade in. Anything for these subjects then becomes the most important on your to-do list.

DIVIDE TIME EACH DAY. Not all days you are going to be able to sit down at your desk at the same time. Instead, according to your energy levels and planned activities, divide your time.

E.g I have cheerleading after school and I'm going to be so tired, so I’ll do my studying in the morning instead. 

ESTABLISH BREAKS. Depending on how long you can study for, place a suitable break in between. This helps make studying more productive, but only if your breaks are. 

CREATING

USE YOUR TIMETABLE. On days you don’t have a specific subject, dedicate more time to that one. 

CONSIDER YOUR LEARNING STYLE. This helps to be a bit more specific when creating it, instead of winging it and just doing anything. Having a consistent way of studying helps us learn better. 

E.g I’m a visual learner, so I’ll watch animations. I'm an auditory learner so I’ll watch a video of someone explaining it. 

KNOW WHAT YOU WILL DO DURING STUDYING. Do not just wing studying, it’s unproductive and you’re more likely to waste time instead of using it.

 Before you start studying, write a to-do list of everything you need to do during that session and how you will do it. Less time time-consuming and allows you to use time productively. 

SAMPLE – this is Lanny’s daily study routine without any upcoming tests, as an early bird, kinesthetic learner and needs breaks to think with clarity.

Morning

Review my flashcards in preparation for any test. 

Write/note any flashcards I'm struggling with. 

 Afterschool

Check seqta/school website to access my courses, in which I’ll write down which subjects I had. 

Do a few quick blurts on paper of everything I learned in those subjects with prior reading. I only do this for HASS, math and science + any electives that require it. (blurting method)

Then I recheck my blurts, add in anything that I’ve missed and correct with a different coloured pen. 

After, I push those papers aside but I do not discard them. I’ll then complete my online science homework + class workbook. If I happen not to understand anything I’ll watch a video on it and then complete some questions on that. 

I’ll take a break around now because, on an estimate, it has been around 20-40 minutes since I started depending on how my science homework is. I usually eat something and then get back to it. 

Math is next. I’ll complete any math homework, then I’ll practice doing math questions on my own. What I like to do is watch a math video, pause the question without the answer then watch to see if I got it. Effective because they explain it and I can see where I went wrong without analysing my working out which is rather time-consuming. 

I take another break. Math stuff usually takes around 20-30 minutes. 

I then do HASS, which is the easiest. I usually read an article or watch a video on hass then apply that knowledge by answering questions OR doing assigned chapter work. 

I do not study English after school, but I usually read an assigned passage/book and then try to apply any techniques/knowledge by taking that paragraph apart and analysing it. Sometimes, I write my paragraphs using any taught techniques and then mark them. 

Then, I redo my blurtings again but without prior reading then recheck and correct. Then I am finished for the afternoon!!

Evening

Review flashcards then watch a video/read an article on what I was struggling with in the morning but I do not do anything to consolidate this knowledge. 

That is all, please feel free to ask me about any questions about studying as I don't really post much about it, I'll love to help out any fellow students! 

[writersblog20]

Mexico 🌿🍃

Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: When you need some distance from your hometown, Pedro booked a luxurious villa for you in Mexico. It was almost perfect except that Pedro wasn’t there since he was away for filming… or is he?

Warnings: FLUFF! Teeth rotting, cotton candy fluff! Mention of smoking weed, mention of having a rough time, Spanish sentences that might be incorrect (English translation behind) so I’m sorry if it’s wrong! Most is just fluff.

A/N: Hiya, remember me? 😂I’ve been sooooo busy with work and school and handling some personal stuff and just still trying to heal from some things, so I must keep a lot of balls high so that’s why I haven’t been posting for a while. I hope that things will soon get a little more reasonable, but I have no clue when. But for now, I hope you guys enjoy this sweet piece! Much love from your homegirl 🩷🪬🧿

Mexico

You had a couple of very rough months and every time you got back up but that didn’t mean that it was exhausting. Pedro was away filming and knew what you were going through. You both facetimed each other every day and every time you cried or were upset, Pedro wanted to come home to you and take care of you, even though you reassured him that you’d be okay.

It wasn’t new of you for you to push people away and take care of yourself. You finally learned how to love yourself and take care of your inner child. You might’ve lost so much in the last month but found yourself on that journey. You were used to doing things alone and found it hard to accept people in and let them take care of you. But like I said, you were learning that bit by bit.

You were currently in Mexico. Pedro was renting a house there where you could stay for a while and focus on yourself and your healing, leaving everything behind for a while and it was the best decision ever. You felt so extremely relaxed, not forget the fact that you’ve always wanted to go to Mexico. The house was GORGEOUS to say the least. It was some sort of villa and the moment you stepped into the villa, you felt at peace. It was very luxurious, the backyard was huge, with a pool, gorgeous view over the city, 

You had thanked Pedro multiple times and he was happy he could help you with something. He wanted to give you the entire world so he did his best to spoil you, escpecially after everything that happened. You deserved to rest and heal in a very luxurious and comforting villa. He didn’t tell you that he rented it just for you, but he would tell you eventually.

This was your 3th night here and you already felt more and more peacefull and relaxed. Throughout the day you would stroll around a market, buying fresh fruit, vegetables and whatever else you needed. After that, you would meditate, after that you would journal with a self-help book called healing through words of Rupi Kaur for at least 2 hours. Than you would do whatever you felt like but mostly, read.

It was evening right now and you decided to get into the huge bathtub. You even looked down over the city in the bathroom as a view. You lit some candles, lit some insence and relaxed while reading your favorite book. You had smoked a joint before you got into the baththub so you were completely fuzzy and relaxed.

Pedro even bought all of your favorite bath oi, foam, salt, body butter, body lotion, body mist with a huge bouquet of roses etc and delivered it to the renting. It came in today and you after you got it, you immediately called Pedro to thank him but he didn’t pick up the phone so you’de figure that he was busy shooting his new movie so instead you send him a sweet text with a selfie of you smiling with the bouquet of roses in your hand before you got into the bathtub.

You had some music playing in the background, the smell of insence comforting you as you let yourself relax completely. It was hard for you to give into relaxation completely. That’s because you’ve never felt really safe but even though you knew that you were safe in your head, your body was so used to be on edge all the time that you had to remind yourself that you are indeed very safe. And it worked. Slowly but surely, you started to rewire your brain.

After a while you put your book away. You took a deep breath from relaxation and softly touched your legs. You hummed to yourself and decided to shave it. Not because you thought it was prettier, you just very much liked the feeling how your legs felt after you shaved. You put some shower foam on your legs and slowly shaved your first leg. You were so in your own space that you didn’t hear someone open the door. “Mi amor….” You heard a familiar voice say. You got startled, not expecting someone here. You looked at the familiar voice, only to be met with the softest brown eyes in the entire world. “Pedro…?” you asked surprised, but happy, to see him standing in your bathroom.

He slowly walked towards you, seeing how relaxed you were, your eyes heavy. “Oh, mi hermosa, cuanto te he extrañado (oh my beautiful, how much I’ve missed you)” he whispered as he crouched down besides the bathtub and gently placed a string of hair behind your ear. He cupped your cheek, making you lean into his touch. You placed your hand over his and your other hand cupping his cheek, meeting his eyes that held so much love in them that it made your heart flutter. “Pedro…… I’ve missed you so much.” You told him and couldn’t contain the urge to hug him. You moved in the bath and placed your arms around his shoulders and nuzzled your face in his neck. Your wet, naked body against his clothes and the comforting sound of him chuckling made you feel like you were home again. His arms around your waist, holding you close and tightly against his body as he kissed your head multiple times. You got your face from the crook of his neck and kissed him passionately. His hands cupping your cheek again and got out of the kiss so he could look at you. His smile bright and reaching his eyes, giving a twinkle in them.

“Took some days off. I want to take care of you. Please, let me take care of you now.” He asked you lovingly while he played with your hair and cupped your cheek again. That was the last step for you, to give someone permission to completely take care of you. He knew you found that difficult, but you knew you were ready. You smiled at him “I’d like that” you still felt fuzzy and relaxed from the weed you smoked before. Pedro had the most loving smile on his faze that it made all the butterflies come back in a matter of a second.

“You know I don’t mind if you shave or not, right?” He asked you before doing anything at all. You smiled and nodded. “I know, I just like the feeling” you chuckled softly. Pedro smiled with adoration, reaching his eyes. “Then it’s alright, mi Corazón”.

You sat back down in the bathtub and Pedro gently placed your feet on the edge of the tub so he could continue shaving your leg where you left off. His big hands gently on your skin as he shaved your leg in concentration. When he was done with one leg, he placed a kiss on your knee as he made eye contact with you. He got the scrub supplies and gently scrubbed your leg, being careful so he wouldn’t hurt you. Your heart filled with love just by seeing how careful he was with you and how much love he put in the things he did for you, just like this.

When he was done with your first leg, he got to the other, repeating the things he did with your other leg. When he was done, he placed a kiss on your forehead and cupped your cheeks again, looking lovingly into your eyes which held nothing else but adoration and love, radiating it through them. “Let’s get you out and dried up, princesa.” Pedro stood up and held up a towel for you, giving you a hand so you could get out safe. Once you were out, he wrapped the soft towel around your body. His hands still on your waist when he pulled you closer for a loving hug. His arms around you while he tucked your head underneath his chin, not caring that his clothes got a bit wet from you. Your arms were tightly wrapped around his waist, and you let the side of your head rest against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“Te amo, mi amor.” He whispered in your ear. “I love you too Pedge” he smiled softly and kissed your head, his lips lingering. He got your underwear and helped you in them, your hands resting on his shoulders as he crouched down to put it on. He got the body butter and looked at you for permission. You nodded and he rubbed his hands together so his hands wouldn’t be so cold. He placed some on his hands and put it gently on your upper body. His hands gentle, making sure that he didn’t miss a spot. After he was done, he placed a top on your body. And continued with your legs. He got on one knee and placed your leg on his knee, so he had better access for your legs. His hands were soft and gentle on your skin.

He got your kimono and helped you in it with your arms. It was still a very nice temperature outside, so you didn’t need more clothes. You put your arms around Pedro again and he did the same, giving you a kiss on the top of your head. Pedro held your hand and let you to the kitchen. “Ve a sentarte afuera cariño (Go sit outside, dear.)” He told you softly and you nodded, softly letting go of his hand with a loving smile that held Pedro in a trance. You walked outside, his eyes following you with a smile upon his lips.

You sat down in a big chair, your knees up to your chest. You put some slow R&B on through the speakers and lit your new joint. You let your head fall back as you exhaled the smoke. “No puedo creer lo hermosa que eres, mi amor (I can’t believe how beautiful you are my love.)” You heard Pedro say as he walked towards you with, what looked like two mojitos. Pedro sat next to you, placing the mojitos on the table, which was lit by candles and fairy lights. When Pedro was comfortable, you got out of your own chair and sat down on his lap, making Pedro smile. His arms already wrapped around you as you got comfortable on his lap. He couldn’t hide his loving smile for you. You handed him the joint and he took it from you, taking a big puff as he kept eye contact. You smiled at him and kissed him, making him cup your cheek softly.

“How was work?” you asked him after a while when you saw him finally relaxed. He hummed a bit and started talking about his day while you listened intently to his story. You went with your nails softly through his hair and he leaned more into you as he let out a sigh. “But it’s all better now. porque estoy aquí contigo, el amor de mi vida (because I'm here with you, the love of my life)” You smiled and felt a bit flustered. “Oye, mírame cariño (Hey, look at me, baby)” he whispered, his finger underneath your chin as you looked up. He gave you a couple of sensual and loving kisses before he kissed your forehead.

He handed you your mojito and you got your book, that you were reading, from the table in front of you. Pedro drew circles on your back while you tried to find the page you left it on. When you finally found it, you let your head rest against his chest and started reading it. Pedro let his chin rest on the top of your head and started reading with you, unknown to you until you wanted to turn the page. “Wait, I’m not that fast yet.” He chuckled nervously, making you look up. You smiled that he was reading the book with you. His eyebrows knotted together as he tried to read the words, but he forgot his glasses inside. “Want me to read to you?” You asked him genuine with a smile. “I’d love that. You know I love your voice.” You smiled and gave him a quick peck on his lips before you started reading to him.

An hour got by when you put your book away and looked at Pedro, tiredly. “I’m tired, P” you told him softly and he smiled adoringly at you as he stroked your hair. “vamos a la cama, mi chica (Lets go to bed, my girl)” he told you as he kissed the side of your head and helped you stand up before he stood up.

Once again, you walked hand in hand inside of the house. “You go freshen up, princess. I’m going to put out the lights. I’ll be right back.” he told you and carefully let go of your hand.

You were doing your skincare as last when you were almost finished with the rest, Pedro walked in, smiling at you while you applied the moisturizer to your face. He strutted towards you and put his arms around your waist, letting his chin rest on your shoulder. His body pressed against yours. Pedro almost had heart eyes while he looked at you, doing your skincare routine. He knew you were almost finished as he memorized every product in your routine. When you applied the last thing, he turned you around with his hands on your waist. You looked up at him with a loving smile and giggled softly at the way he carefully stroked your cheek. “Mi amor….” You felt butterflies in your stomach and looked down shyly. “Get comfortable in the bed, I’ll be right there.” he told you, making you nod. You wanted to walk to the bedroom, but Pedro pulled you back. “I think you forgot something….” He told you, getting you confused a bit. “Dame un beso mi Chica Bonita (give me a kiss, my pretty girl.)” you giggled when he told you what you forgot and stood on your tippy toes to give him a kiss. He cupped your cheeks with both of his hands and deepened the kiss as he sighed from relaxation in the kiss. When he pulled away, he looked at you with a smile. “Now you can go.” He told you with a smile as he reluctantly let go of you. You chuckled and quickly kissed his cheek before you left the bathroom and into the bedroom.

You put on a soft warm light and crawled into bed, pushing away the mosquito net. You hadn’t closed the curtains yet, keeping the view over the ocean and a couple of lights from homes further away and of course, the garden where you just sat. You got your book and started reading where you left off. Pedro walked in the bedroom in only his boxers and smiled when he saw you all comfortable in the big bed.

You put your book on your chest for a moment and looked at Pedro who crawled in next to you. “This bed was too big without you in it… I’ve missed you…” you told him softly as you laid down on your side for a moment so you could look at him. “Yo también te extrañé, cariño. Me alegro de estar aquí contigo. (I missed you too, sweetheart. I'm glad to be here with you.)” his voice husk from tiredness, making you smile. He gave you a passionate yet sensual kiss before he softly and gently placed a kiss on your nose and forehead.

You laid down on your back, picking your book up. Pedro let his head rest on your chest, your arm around him while you went with your fingers through his soft locks. Pedro softly hummed from satisfaction of your fingers over his scalp. You noticed that he was reading along with you, so you slowed down your pace with the reading until he was done too. He softly nodded and hummed, letting you know that you could flip the page.

Your eyes started to feel heavier, and you almost dropped the book, but Pedro was fast enough to catch it and put it away. it startled you for a sec, knowing you almost drifted off. “Vamos a dormir, mi dulce niña. (Let’s get some sleep, my sweet girl)” he whispered, and you were too tired to respond so you hummed, already eyes closed as you turned on your side. You waited for Pedro to turn of the lights and to get comfortable before you could cuddle him.

Pedro didn’t even need to say anything, he already pulled you towards him to cuddle. Pedro laid down on his side, facing you, while he pulled you against your chest, his arms around you, your head resting against his chest while he tucked your head underneath his chin. “duerme bien cariño, te amo (sleep well sweetheart, I love you)” his voice soft and you were almost drifting off. “I love you too” you murmured, already half asleep, making Pedro smile and close his own eyes as well, inhaling deeply from relaxation, knowing you were in his arms again.

~time skip~

You woke up from the sunlight shining into your eyes. You groaned softly and turned around, wanting to wrap your arm around Pedro, but you were greeted by an empty side of the bed. You frowned and finally opened your eyes. You saw a note against the headboard of the bed with: “Good morning sweetheart, I’m getting some groceries, I won’t take long.” You read and let your head fall back on the pillow, glad that it wasn’t a dream that Pedro was here.

The door went softly open, revealing Pedro with a tray with breakfast on it. You didn’t expect Pedro to be back already but here he was. “Buenos días mi amor, ¿cómo dormiste? (Good morning my love, how did you sleep?)” His smile radiant and his eyes shining, making you immediately happier. “Buena, te tenía a mi lado (Good, I had you next to me.)” You told him back in Spanish and Pedro loved it when you spoke Spanish back to him.

His smile even more radiant. “And you? Did you sleep well?” You asked him as you sat up in bed. “Good. I had you next to me again.” He repeated you with the biggest grin and leaned down to give you a kiss and sat down next to you. “Made you breakfast.” He told you and placed the tray with food on your lap. He made some eggs, avocado with toast, coffee, and some fresh fruit. You smiled “Thank you Pedge.” He smiled and kissed your forehead. “You’re welcome baby girl.” He told you and stood up, walked to the other side of the bed, and laid down on his side, facing you. “So… what should we do today?” he asked, “I mean, obviously we don’t have to do anything if you want to stay here, that’s fine with me too.” You smiled and looked outside at the beautiful weather. “We could go to the beach?” You suggested and Pedro smiled. “I would love that!” he told you with a smile.

You asked Pedro more about work now that he had completely settled in and not having a bad jetlag. He chatted about the fun things and less fun things that had happened making you listen intently. You loved hearing Pedro talk about things, especially if he was very passionate about the things he talked about. You ate your breakfast in the meanwhile and couldn’t help but beam because of how happy you were that you had your Pedro back by your side. You were silently enjoying this morning and Pedro saw it, making him happy as well.

This was going to be a great day! After the beach, maybe go to the market to get fresh products to make dinner with, get a drink at your favorite beach club and just spent time with each other, because God knows you both really needed it. You were completely happy and content, not needing anything else when Pedro was around you. He was all you needed.

Part 2 maybe?

[snifflesthemouse]

Is Harry Suing the UK to Hide Truth of Visa and Security?

Let’s talk about a few things going on in the Royal News World, Shall We?

This mouse isn’t completely sure of coming back entirely, but I figured a post here and there would be fine. Let’s get started.

My people come bearing some insights: Just about everyone in the aristocracy is openly aware that Harry isn’t truly cut off. As a matter of fact, some believe that Harry is only in the US because Charles sent him here and he is in fact on an A1 visa. Not so much as a banishment, but as a way to play both sides of the media circus and keep them all relevant. The whole world tunes in every time something pops up.

What brings more clickbait? Ask yourself the hard questions, though, don’t take the easy route. I’ve seen some things going around, and I see people truly never ask the hard questions.

I pray for the day when everyone wakes up and realizes that being elderly doesn’t make you harmless or innocent. This author was told the same things about Harry not being told about the diagnosis for the cancer until we all heard, BUT BEFORE. Interesting that ever got leaked out in the press, isn’t it? Why even tell us when he got told? Harry probably leaked it and did it to make Charles look favorable. Do you think Charles would let it get leaked? To what end? To look like the loving, yet firm father everyone demands him to be, the man that he cannot. The man he is not.

And now there are articles coming out about the contingency plans for Charles being sick. Harry is not in them, at all. Why would he need to be? Doesn’t that say a lot? The fact people have to be told Harry isn't included is silly. But you know what they say about assumptions.

Now, I was told by a friend that’s a doctor the whole story of the cancer being found during the prostate stuff made no sense. They would’ve seen other indicators beforehand. They ARE the greatest medical professionals on the planet, aren’t they? You mean a PET scan or blood test or anything like that, at all, wouldn’t hint at the other problems? This was a choreographed release of information.

It's being suggested that the press will be informed to release a cascade of tidbits over the coming weeks. Lady C said early spring, before summer. She also said it was Princess Anne who made the “racist baby” comments, and that was also a ruse. I’m pretty sure Lady C picked Team Charles back in the 80s, and she’s been working to gain grace and favor since. I think she wants to seem like she knows things to sell books or views. Go, girl, get that paper.

Speaking of paper, it was suggested one of the main reasons Charles was so upset with Harry when he “rushed right over” was because he asked for more money. Anyone could assume that but think about what he did immediately afterwards. He went over there only to have something to give an interview for. He got paid to “not squeal” on an interview. The Sussexes don’t lift a finger for free… they only lift them for freebies. Or money.

If Harry is here on an A1 Visa as a favor between Charles and the US, that means we are paying for that security in America. No wonder Harry is suing the UK, he needs to make it look like he needs something when he already has it. How would they possibly have the money to pay for their own? I posted the mortgage documents, remember. Do the math. They have 10 years to pay that house off in full before they get a 7.48% interest rate. They have upkeep, services, servants, nannies, clothes, utilities, maintenance that must be maintained or the bank could come in and do it themselves… Those things aren’t cheap. You have to have a faucet of money coming in to handle it all. They don’t even have a drip.

Oh, and I was told to really look at Harry’s page on the Royal website. And that the minute Wills gets that crown, his brother will be done for. Which is why Charles could be trying to be a father instead of a king in that situation. Then again, if Wills had hard feelings for both Charles and Harry, and Charles had a jealousy over Wills and the Queen… that’s a lot of ifs

One this is for sure. Harry will NEVER return to the BRF in a working capacity. Everything is a dance of smoke and mirrors.

It makes total sense to have Harry here on an A1 visa, have him in constant litigation with the UK so we peons think he needs security, but in reality he is here on a visa supplying him the protection he thinks he deserves. Of course, an FOIA would need to be filed, probably… I wonder if I could do that and see how he is really here. I don’t believe he is here on an O1 or spousal visa.

What is the real reason for all of this, people? It's just Flying Pasta, like before.

[novasintheroom]

008. Kindness

♡ Pairing - Vash x Reader

♡ Word count - 1.1k

♡ Warnings - none

♡ Description - You continue to send Vash letters.

Part of the 150 Bullets drabble series on AO3

Part 1 ---- Part 2 ---- Part 3 (you are here!) ---- Part 4 ---- Part 5

The next letter comes a week later on a Tuesday. The one after that, two weeks and two days. And the one after that, just four days later.

You’ve made a habit of writing at nearly every post office and leaving it to be picked up by Vash if he chooses. He tries to resist and leave the letters there, but loneliness and the want to know how you’re doing always wins. He’s returned to a town more than once just to get a letter.

This week’s letter comes from a little town called Bangs. The mailwoman hands him the letter from the top of her tomas, and he gives her the twenty-six C-cents for handling it.

The paper inside is pink this time and smells a bit like almond lotion. Your curving and slanted writing greets him:

                Birdie,

                I’ve managed to add three new towns this week to the roster. There’re only a few people in each who are willing to join in on the book exchange, but a win’s a win. HQ says I’m doing great, and they’ve already gotten a few applications from some teenagers in the towns to apply for college in the bigger cities.

                In fact, they’re moving me to a new route soon. One that’s a bit more challenging due to it being so far out and away from most other places. I’m getting my own tomas for it since the towns are so spread out. I’ve drawn the map they sent me on the back…in case you ever want to visit.

                I hope you’re doing well. I wish I could see you. I know you’re getting my letters. Write to me, please. Even if you don’t think we should travel together anymore, we can at least be friends, right?

Forever yours,

       ______

P.S. What do evil toma lay? Deviled eggs.

He’s surprised to find two blank pages nestled into the envelope. You really want him to write you? After abandoning and dodging you for nearly two months? But he shouldn’t be surprised. You’re always adjusting to his boundaries, always making sure he’s comfortable, even if you disagree. You’re too kind for your own good. The least he could do is tell you he’s okay.

So, he writes back.

                ______,

                I’m doing fine. I’ve got a few jobs lined up in the town I’m in right now. I was able to help nurse someone’s grandma back to health here too. I’m doing my best, just like you are.

He taps at the paper. What else should he say?

                I’m sorry I I’m glad to hear you’re doing well. You’re making a huge difference by helping build up people’s education. It will help so many people in the future.

                What do you know about the region you’re getting assigned to? I’ve only been around there a few times, and I’m sure it’s changed since then.

Best,

              Vash

P.S. Why can’t you ever trust stairs? They’re always up to something.

He’s left with an extra page to write with, but just stuffs it in his pocket. He doesn’t have much of worth to say right now; he still feels bad about…everything. He finds the postwoman again, who takes the new envelope and trots off on her tomas, and that’s that.

The next letter comes on the road as a courier passes by on her own walk back toward a town called Ferret’s Claw. She hails him, and hands it to him. “Already paid for,” her gravelly voice says, then continues trotting down the path of dunes.

Vash watches her leave before he opens and scans it over.

                Birdie,

                I’ve heard about you helping the Plants in the region. You’re not as sneaky as you used to be. That, or people are a lot more talkative about the talented, young, handsome man going around fixing Plants.

                Sure sounds like you.

                I’ve had to deal with some bandits on the road. Been chased a few times. Luckily they either aren’t great shots or don’t have their own toma to chase me on. They seem to be young kids with nothing better to do. I hope the more we spread education, that will lessen.

                Be careful around here, birdie.

                                                                                                Forever yours,

                                                                                                                ______

A blush rises to his cheeks when he reads over the “talented, young, handsome” line again. Leave it to you to still get his stomach fluttering with butterflies, even at a distance. Vash lets a breath go through his nose, then folds the letter, putting it in his “letters pocket,” so dubbed now after receiving them. He brings out the spare piece of paper from the previous letter and begins to write, using his knee as a ‘desk.’

                Mayfl______,

                Don’t worry about me; I know how to run handle bandits. You should be more careful, though. Do you still have that knife you got from the pawn shop?

                I won’t be staying in the region long. There’s a call coming from somewhere else, and I need to go to it.

He taps the paper, looking up and around as he thinks. Should he tell you where he’ll be? He’d like more letters…

                It’s coming from a town in the east, I know that much. Hopefully I can get there in time.

                Be safe.

                             Vash

P.S. There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can’t.

There. That ought to be enough.

And when he’s in the east, he isn’t as surprised to find a letter waiting for him at one of the towns.

Birdie,

I’ll keep writing to you if that’s alright. It gets lonely on the road, and I don’t doubt you feel it too. I love getting your letters.

HQ says I’ll stay in this region for at least a few months. Please let me know where to send my letters; I promise I won’t follow – I’ve got too many people relying on me and the books now. But I’d still love to hear from you. Tell me about what you’re up to, any adventures, even the shoot-outs you’re in. I’ll worry, but I’ll know you’re okay with each letter.

I hope you’re well. I hope you find happiness wherever you go.

                                                                                Forever yours,

______

P.S. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.

And Vash does write back. Even if it’s so much less than what you write, he keeps you updated.

Vash wonders, when he’s writing his next letter, if this should stop. He’s leading you on; he hasn’t stopped contact like he promised he would. He looks down at the paper and crumples it in his hand, then opens and smooths it out again. Your kindness is like a drug he can’t quit. It’s selfish, but he wants to keep you, like the letters he keeps in his pocket. Is it so bad to want one friend in the world?

Maybe. Perhaps not.

And so he writes.

[harufluff]

‘i love you 3000’ nishimura riki

warnings - none. let me know if there are any.

genre - fluff, angst, idol!riki x gn!reader, enhypen x reader, established relationship au, enhypen au (feedback appreciated :))

sorry i’ve been so inactive. lots of school stuff and mental stuff. send in some soft hours cause i finally have some time and i feel bad for not posting in 10 days…

you had no plans of being where you were right now. sitting in your boyfriends arms for the first time almost two years.

two years…too long to be away from your favorite person. riki being the famous idol that he was, you didn’t get to see him anymore.

your best friend since grade school, turned love of your life at the age of 14, just before he left to pursue his dream.

and his dream took off. he became a member one of the most well known kpop groups and the world knew him just as the baby of enhypen.

you knew him as riki. the shy boy who loved dancing and the boy you for in love with for just that. although he had come back to his home, it was only to see his family due to limited time.

seeing him was the best thing ever. how did you get here you ask? well he did the most romantic thing posible. practically straight out of a kdrama.

quietly sitting on the cinder block fence along with your other peers. your friends talking amongst themselves as you sit in the world of your book.

‘y/n!!’ your head pops up from the book you were reading at the sound of a familiar voice. your head whips around to the tall boy standing at the gates of your school, and his old one.

with his eyes wide he starts sprinting over to you in excitement. you barely get up from your seat without falling and run over to riki as well.

you heart was beating so fast it was getting hard to breath. oh god but you had to keep going if you wanted to finally get him in your arms. it felt like if you stopped now, he would be gone for another 2 years.

but after what feels like a million years, your jumping into his warm grasp. your legs circle around his waist as he lifts you off the ground like it’s nothing.

to be honest your whole school could be looking at you, but it’s all the same people you’ve been with since middle school. if they were to be confused, we’ll that would just be rude in your mind.

riki starts swaying in attempts to calm the both of you down, but stops when you say this and his heart swells.

‘i love you’

——

‘why did you say it all of a sudden…?’

riki asks, you still laying in between his legs on your bed as you watch some random tv show, not even caring what was happening.

it was just peaceful riki catch-up hug time.

‘what do you mean?’

you ask, your voice muffled from your face being buried into his chest. he smiled sweetly at you cute action.

‘why did you say the L word right when i got back?’

‘why do you think?’

your face being pulled out of your very comfortable position to look at the boy in front of you in the eyes. his expression was questioning, still waiting for your answer.

he seemed to think for a few seconds before shrugging his shoulders and looking back at you with a pout. you smile before saying,

‘i’ve wanted to say it this whole two years. but i wanted to say it to your face more.’

his eyes widened and a contagious smile grew on his face, his eyes turning into crescents. rikis hands moved from their previous position to your cheeks, gently cupping them and continuing.

‘i’m glad you did’

riki kisses you sweetly but passionately, letting you know you are just where you are supposed to be in this moment.

‘i love you 3000’

©️Harufluff 2023 | Do not copy, repost, or claim any of my works.

send in soft hours!!

[weeping-statue]

ask, and ye shall receive 🙇🙇🙇

if u take multiple characters, may i request naib, ithaqua, and alva with an s/o whos a kleptomaniac? if u dont do multiple chars, maybe just alva if thats ok!

much loves 💞💞💞

please read🔻

This.. has been rotting in my inbox since the start and I am so sorry. Usually I’m trying to find motivation for all of these writings but things came up yesterday and I just needed to write something to make me feel better. So this was more self indulgent. I would love to write for Alva but I fear I don’t have a good concept of him yet. Also Kinktober stuff will be posted in the near future. There will be a part two of this with Ithaqua, I think? not proofread and not great-

Naib with a kleptomaniac s/o! —————————————————————-

He’s got a massive safe, with all of his stuff in it and you don’t have the code.

No I’m kidding,

Well, sorta.

He keeps his room clean anyways so there’s nothing to really take other than a few pencils, coins, or wrappers of leftover food.

He does keep a hidden snack drawer that’s filled to the brim with all kinds of stuff and he can tell if you’ve been in there. Even if one thing is gone.

Naib had taken you to his room a few hours ago, just so he could be near you. No need for talking when your presence is enough. Which brings us to now, where you were chilling on his beanbag chair with a book that you stole from Joseph’s office. Naib had quietly grunted to signal to you, then gestured to the door that he’ll be back. You nodded and went to go read as he shut the door.

Perfect.

Now was your time to strike. The feeling had been itching away at you ever since you got there. You just had too. It’s not like you could control it anyways. So you crept over to his snack drawer in the bottom of his desk. And picked out a.. large almond joy? (I’m so sorry I’ve been craving fucking almond joys for like weeks so.. you get almond joys.)

Oh well, they were good anyways. Especially frozen, to get that crunch! You place the sugary treat into a pocket that’s least likely to smush it or melt it. Closing the drawer you slip back into your spot, pick up your book, and continue like nothing happened. And that’s when the door opened again, Naib coming back with.. more food? A family sized bag of potato chips to be exact. You roll your eyes and let out a small huff to conceal your want to laugh. He was a strong guy, always working out, burning calories, so eating like this was reasonable, you thought. When he walks over to his snack drawer pulling out a Twix to eat with his chips, he nods to you, politely gesturing again if you wanted some. Which was another way to tell you he loves you, because there was no way he was sharing with anyone else.

You decline, because chips? No, the almond joy. Which means you had to escape, and quick before he finds out.

You stand up, stretching like you’ve been sitting for too long, and grab your jacket off the back of his chair. Turning to him, to say, “Nah, no thanks. I think I’ll wait till dinner to eat. But I’m gonna head out now, see if Victor has any mail for me.”

Naib nods, and stands by the door watching you start to leave. When he suddenly asks, “Did you go in my snack drawer?”

You pause and turn to him, internally “wtf?”-ing. With a shake of your head you lie. “No? Why?”

Naib fixes his hood, looking you up and down for anything out of place. “Dunno, just seemed like there was less than before.”

You glance at the drawer and shrug, trying to play it cool. You really had to go. “I don’t know what to tell you, I really didn’t take anything.”

Naib nods and lets you go for now. Choosing to believe you. Which was great for you, slipping out of his room and shutting the door quietly. Quickly walking away.

You were halfway down the hallway when you heard a door slam open and naib yell,

“MY ALMOND JOY-”

Fuck. ———————————————————————-

I kinda rushed this, it’s not great. Haven’t been feeling well lately, but when am I ever. I’ll try to do better next time, I promise.

[milesdickpic]

His Little Girl | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader P.88

Click here to see the master list

Hi besties! As promised, here is the second post for this week! We are getting closer and closer to the end of an era 😔 I’m sad, but we will all get to see the kiddos grow up and see more of a different perspective with the goose and Carole universe! Thank you all for still being here and reading my story! I love you all so much 💕 Happy reading and enjoy! ❤️

A/n: Ringing in the New Year with the Bradshaws (-ish 😂)

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Cursing, mentions/hints at death, anxious past, some what drunk characters, crying (good crying), and so much love 🥰

Please don't take my work, I will find you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pinterest

New Years

A week has passed since Christmas. The Christmas decor was stuff up, but it was going to be taken down in a couple of days after new years. It was New Years Eve and you all were excited to go into the new year together. 

The last year brought a lot into your life. You met new people. Make more friends. You were reunited with the love of your life. Your daughter finally got to meet her dad, his friends, her papa Mav, Penny, Amelia. You got to marry Bradley. You live with him. You guys got a dog for your daughter and best of all, you welcomed two little boys. Expanded your family. Moved to a new place. 

The year also brought a lot of hardships. You had to be away from your newly husband just after a month of marrying him. You had to leave your best friend behind. You nearly lost your husband. You went and are still watching him make his recovery and baby steps towards his career. But, all in all. This year brought you so much more purpose in life. 

Bradley was at work getting some paperwork done for his officers. Jake, Nat, and Austin were getting ready for the night out. They asked if you wanted to join them for a couple of hours, and Phantom and Evelyn offered to watch the kids for the night. But you opted to stay home so you could give kisses to all three of them. 

Austin, Nat and Jake came down the stairs all dressed nicely for their night out. Nat came from behind the couch and wrapped her arms around your shoulders. 

“You sure you don’t want to come with for a couple of hours?” 

You laughed and patted her hand. “No you all go ahead. I’m going to stay back with the kiddos and wait for Bradley.” 

All three of them gave you a kiss on the cheek. “We will all see you in the morning.” Jake squeezed you a little tighter. “Happy New Year, Y/n.” 

You patted Jake’s arms and smiled. “Thank you, Jake. Have fun you guys! Be safe!” 

The three of them went to go and say bye to the kids as they played. You watched as they picked each of them up and kissed them and wished them a happy new year.

The three kids were playing on the floor. The boys sitting in their half donut pillows to help support them as they sat on their own, played with their toys. Leia was laying on her tummy reading a book from school. You were sitting on the couch watching them all play as you watched TV and drank some tea. 

———- 

Bradley’s POV

I had been stuck at work all day trying to finish up paperwork for the new year. I couldn’t wait to leave and go home to spend time with my family. I looked over at the clock in my office. 1845. “Damn I’ve been here for nearly 13 hours.” I stood up and stretched my back and looked out my window to the tarmac. A couple of the officers were down there doing their last checks on their planes before leaving for the day. There was a knock at my door. 

“Bradshaw? You in here?” Phantom came in as he knocked on the frame. 

I turned and smiled. “Right here, sir.” He came in and shook my hand. “You leaving for the day?” 

He chuckled. “I’ve got another hour before I head out. Would you like some company or help with anything?” He sat at the chair in front of my desk. 

I made my way around my desk and sat in my chair. “I should almost be done. Just going through some last minute changes for some routes the pilots are gonna fly in the new year. But the company will be nice as i finish it out.” I laughed as i continued to read the new route routine. 

“You and y/n want Eve and I to watch the kids tonight?” He sat back in the seat and made small conversation with me. 

I chuckled. “No, you, Eve, and the girls don’t have to do that for us. Y/n and I planned on staying home with the kids tonight.” 

Phantom picked up my little model f-14 on my desk. “Awh the boys first new years!” 

I nodded. “They’re getting so big now. And it is their first!” I signed a couple of route routines and put all the paperwork away. “Finally finished.” I neatly stacked all the worksheets and papers i had gone through in a pile. 

“You done for the day, Brad?” Phantom placed the f-14 back in its place. 

I sighed and nodded. “Finally. I’ve been sitting in this office for the last 12 hours finishing and pushing paperwork.” 

Phantom started to laugh. “How do you like being a senior officer?” 

I smiled and laid back in my chair. “It is a whole lot of paperwork, but it is a nice change of pace.”

———-

When we finally left the office, it was 1915. Phantom and I said out goodbyes and wished each other a happy new year. 

“See ya next year, Rooster.” Phantom waved at me before hoping into his car.

I laughed. “Yea, see ya next year.” I shook my head and smiled. I got into the truck and headed to the store. I went in and grabbed a couple of New Year’s party hats and crowns. I grabbed a couple of bottles of apple juice and apple cider. I also grabbed some poppers and a couple of noise makers for the kids. I loaded the bags into the truck and headed home to you. 

1950. “Finally home.” I got down from the car and grabbed the bags from the back. I opened the door. “I’m home, my loves!” I set the bags down and started to take off my shoes and hung up my hat. 

“Daddy!!!” Leia came running through the house and jumped into my arms. I covered her in kisses. 

“Hey my little love. I missed you today.” I started to make my way over to you. You picked up both boys and walked over towards me. “Oh baby, don’t pick both of them up.” I let Leia down and grabbed Luke from you. “Hi, baby. I missed you.” I gave you a kiss and then kissed the boys. 

“I missed you too, Brad. How was work?” You smiled and wiped your chapstick from my lips. 

I grabbed Bradley from your grasp and held both boys. “Busy as usual, honey. Just glad to be home.” I smiled and kissed the boys over and over again. We all made our way back to the couch and we all sat. Leia in between us and the boys on my lap. I looked around and listened. “Did the three older kids leave already?” 

You started to chuckle. “Yes, our three eldest left already to go out.” You rested your arm on the back of the couch and laid your chin to your hand. The other reaching over to fix Luke’s tag coming out from his shirt. “They asked if we wanted to join again.”

I laughed and laid back as I watched the boys play with each other’s hands. “They just miss being with us, is all.” Brad put his fingers in my mouth. I gasped and munched on them gently as he started to laugh causing Luke to laugh too. “You boys are so big. Stop growing already.” I grabbed their little hands and gave each of them a kiss. 

I leaned over and placed a kiss on Leia’s head and on your cheek. “I’m gonna go and clean up, sweetheart. Get out of this uniform.” I smiled at you as you nodded. I placed the boys back up against their pillows and headed up stairs. 

———-

As I finished cleaning up, I looked at the time again. 2030. The time was flying by. I headed back down stairs in some sweats and a white t-shirt. You were getting dinner ready for us. I came into the kitchen and grabbed you from behind. I placed kisses on your neck. “What you making, mama?” I placed my chin on your head. 

You giggled. “Leia wanted some Mac and Cheese so I’m making that, along with some chicken and rice.”

I took a deep breath in and smiled. “That is my favorite. Need any help?” 

You turned around in my arms and shook your head. “I’m okay. But you can try and feed the boys their rice cereal today.” You poked my chest and smiled. 

I nodded. “Yes ma’am.” I gave you a kiss before going to get the boys. I put their high chairs next to each other and went to get the boys. I placed each of them into a chair and put on their silicon bibs that had a food catch. I gave each of them a toy to play with while I got their food ready. 

“Leia Rey, come and get your Mac and Cheese, babe.” You had a bowl ready for Leia. She ran over and grabbed it and then went to go and take a seat with her brothers. 

I went into the fridge and grabbed one of their bottles that had your milk in it. I poured the whole bottle into a bowl and went to the pantry to grab the tub of the boys rice cereal. I brought it back out and started to scoop some to put into the bowl of milk. Then I mixed it and nuked it in the micro for 45 seconds. When it came out i tested it to make sure it wasn’t too hot for the boys. 

“Alright boys. Let’s try today. Can you both eat this for daddy?” I said in the mushiest baby voice I had, causing them to both laugh. I placed the bowl onto the table and sat in a chair in front of the both of them. “Baby brother first.” I scooped some with he spoon and blew on it. 

“Here we go Bradley boy. Open wide, babas. Here comes the fighter jet.” I started to mimic the noise. My mouth mimicked the movements little Brad’s mouth made. He spit a little bit up but i scooped it and put it back in his mouth. My eyes went wide. 

“Babe! babe! He ate it! Bradley had his first dose of solid food!” I gasped and you ran over. “Now Lukey-Bear. Open up big boy. Here comes the airplane!” I mimicked noises again and my mouth mimicked Luke’s. He ate the whole spoon in one bite.

“OH MY GOSH!!!!” You and I jumped up in unison. Our baby boys had their first dose of solid-ish food. You and I hugged and Leia ran over to join. Leia gave her brothers kisses. I kissed your forehead and wiped your tears. “They did it, babe!!”

———-

2330. This was the latest all of us had stayed up in a long while. We were all practically falling asleep on the couch waiting. Leia was cuddled up on you, the boys both cuddled into my chest. Our kids were fast asleep. You and I were in and out of sleep as we patiently waited for the TV to show the ball drop. Frozen was playing on the TV as we all fell asleep. 

———-

Phoenix’s POV

Austin, Hangman, and I stumbled back into the house around 0115. We were laughing because Hangman had just tripped up the drive way and fell face first into the front patio. Austin and I couldn’t breathe as he started to get up. We opened the front door shushing each other so we wouldn’t be loud. 

I grabbed Hangman by one arm and Austin grabbed the other. We held him up because he was laughing so hard from falling. 

“I feel like such a dumb ass! I hope the neighbors didn’t see that!” He barely whispered through his laughs. 

We all walked over to the living area and the lights were still on. Austin went and grabbed us all water from the fridge. Hangman and I saw that The Little Mermaid was playing on the TV. Then we looked down on the couch and saw all 6 of you sleeping on the couch together. Leia cuddled up with you. Bradley with the boys cuddled up on his chest. Gunner in the middle of Bradley and you.

I gasped. “Oh my gosh! How cute!” I said in a whisper. Austin came over to see what the commotion was about. 

“That is so precious. They fell asleep before the New year.” He handed us our waters. 

I snapped a picture and went to grab blankets. We placed blankets onto all of you and gave everyone kisses. “Good night you guys. Happy New Year. See you all in the morning.” 

Jake turned the TV off and left a couple of lights on for you all. The three of us went upstairs to change and get ready for bed. The three of us opted to stay downstairs with you all and sleep, just in case if you guys needed the help. 

———-

Your POV

The next morning you woke up and saw you all had fallen asleep on the couch. You stretched slightly and sat up. You saw Jake, Nat, and Austin sleeping on the floor in front of you. you started to laugh. You laid Leia down on the couch and covered her with the blanket. Bradley heard you stirring around and he woke up. He looked around and looked at you. 

“Did we fall asleep down here?” He was shocked. 

You nodded and laughed. “Yes we did. And before the new year.” 

Bradley started to chuckled. “Of course, we did, sweetheart.” He puckered his lips and you went to give him a kiss. “Happy New Year, my love. And the many more to come. I can’t wait to see what this year holds for us. I love you, forever, honey.” He smiled up at you as he continued to hold the boys on his chest.

“Happy New Year, Bradley. I love you, always.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy late new year besties! I hope you all enjoyed ringing in this (late) new year with the Bradshaws! (Kind of 😂) I hope you all have had a blessed and great start to the new year! I’m so glad you’re here ❤️ Would you have spent the New Year at home with the Bradshaws, or would you have gone out with Jake, Nat, and Austin? I’ll see you all in the next chapter! 🫶🏼

The sleep crew is in the comments ����

[liampaynemysteriousdeath]

Liam Payne’s watch was missing when he fell.Robbery gone wrong? The prostitutes allegedly set him up and he never called them…one of the fans recording him that day is missing.hotel employees were making fun of him in the private chat room.(plus other strange things I found from the locals)

Section 1 my theories/ideas of what I’ve read.Most people aren’t taking this suspicious death seriously because he was an addict. but addicts can be victims of crimes too. (Aka the room could have been trashed on purpose to make it look like a setup). The guy they interviewed who had a room near Liam said he heard a lot of noise. Who knows if Liam was alone. Liam did have lots of injuries. Someone mentioned he had a yellow bruiseBruise on his neck and red mark under his right jaw from courtyard video. Aka the one put on IG filmed a few days prior.Also lots of time me celebrities publicist will have a bunch of videos from the past ready to post when the celeb doesn’t feel like posting.

Unless Liam was alone and only he had access to his account? I assume his team dropped him since the label did? Idk.Locals mention ground zero is the first floor. So technically he fell from the fourth floor.The cameras supposedly didn’t work that day. Even though there’s rumors police have cctv.

Timeline is off. Could someone make a timeline of Liam’s last days? I had heard he was kicked out of a prior hotel. So that’s why he checked into that one. Also supposedly the video where Liam is sitting at that table with his gf was at a friends house was a few days old but barely posted the day of his death. . (Or maybe the previous hotel he got kicked out of.?)No one is talking about Rogelio. Source: Perez Hilton mentioned Rogelio’s full name but idr. Someone said that it was his friend/manager. Idk how true that is.Allegedly one of Liam payne’s fans is missing because she was live recording him the day of. Which is a new development.A comment below mentions he was outside hotel with fans that day and planned on coming back out to visit more fans after he was going to eat something. People mention it was only about an hour before his death those videos are allegedly taken.This post contains Some positive fan interactions, speculation from locals, and other stuff to discuss. We fans want the truth to his death. Therefore we must explore all options. This is a collection of comments I’ve gathered from YT. I will probably have to extend post to comments section since I will go over character limit.

Section 2 all the comments I’ve rounded up so far from the locals.@sunshineonmyshoulder480049 minutes agoLiam unfortunately had a very addictive personality. He was addicted to more than drugs and alcohol. He was addicted to fame and attention.(I believe) when his starwasn’t shining as bright as it once did… he couldn’t handle it. Then his ex girlfriend chastised him publicly (even writing a book casting him in a bad light) and the last straw for him was being dropped by his record label. He went into a deep dark place with feeling of rejection and shame. When his current girlfriend left him alone he slipped further and further into darkness and drugs.

You see, he was having an issue with his visa so he couldn’t leave … I heard he begged her to stay with him but she left. I wish she had stayed because he didn’t need to be alone. Reports say he requested the company of two prostitutes the day of his death. I would venture to say he didn’t necessarily want sex but he just didn’t want to be alone… and maybe he didn’t want to do his drugs alone. Remember, an idle mind

@BuenosAires-es!17 minutes agoSUN I MET HIM AT MY BDAY SW YEARS AGO IN BUENOS AIRES, I JUST HAD BROKEN UP A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP AND THE MOMS FROM MY CHILD’S SCHOOL ORGANIZED A DINNER AT A COOL RESTO &PUB IN THE CITY.I WAS SAD BUT WHEN I MET LIAM HE JUST CHANGED EVERYTHING IN MINUTES… GREAT GUY UNFORGETTABLE, HE WAS SO HAPPY AND FUN WE SPENT GREAT TIME MADE ME LOL, I DIDN’T KNEW ONE DIRECTION SINCE I’M OLDER THAN HIM SO I MET NOT THE FAMOUS BUT THE AUTHENTIC LIAM, OUR GAP AGE DIDN’T SEEN TO MATTER HE WAS VERY WISE AND CONFIDANT, A GENTLEMAN SO WE HAD A GREAT TIME..THANKS A MILLION WISHING STAR FOR LIFE IS A CHAIN FULL OF MOMENTS AND YOU SHINE SO BRIGHT NOBODY COULD EVER DIM YOUR LIGHT~~~~~

@DEUTSCHLAND.0072 days agoI firmly believe he didnt mean to kill himself.I lived in Argentina for a few years. I believe those 2 girls that came to his room were connected to the drug dealer.Some dealers use pretty girls to lure and to deliver drugs around hotel areas.Sadly, they’ll never admit it, they’ll say it was just a hookup.He was given a substance that caused him visual and auditive hallucinations.~~~~~

@kayceeyoung84801 day agoOne person said he jumped and people are running with that when there’s so much more evidence pointing towards him falling and not jumping. Obviously, the hotel doesn’t want to be blamed for not getting him medical attention so they are gonna go ahead and say he jumped, and it makes me so mad.

@dorothysmith38503 days agoI thought he was found with signs pointing to the fact that he did not tense up or react instinctively when he went over the balcony. This is why he was thought to have been unconscious. Even when people jump, there is an automatic body response to try and protect yourself.~~~

~@kayceeyoung84801 day agoExactly. He somehow jumped without having control of his muscles. Its bs. The hotel doesn’t want any blame so they are gonna go ahead and say he jumped. I dont buy it.凸2 日@justagirlfromphoenix10231 day ago

And his eyes were open when he landed : ( Saw the terrible pictures on Twitter and reported them I think these woman drugged him up so~~~~~~~~

@SuperAnimelov… 4 hours ago (edited)@justagirlfromphoenix1023Psychic Roberto, said Liam was dead before he was pushed off the balcony.~~~~~~~

@Longislandteaboy46 minutes ago@justagirlfromphoenix1023i saw them too. It definitely looks like he just leant back with no struggle at all by the landing position.~~~~~~~

@sandradelanney95763 days agoThere are actually reports that the police are saying it is supisious and believe simeone else was w/ him. Anunconscience person who is convulsion is not able to stand up.~~~~~~

@user-qh8nh7oe6d1 hour ago@sandra. Exactly. Becoming unconscious with drugs and drink, plus the seizure, there’s no way he could have suddenly recovered to be up and walking within 5 minutes.People are usually out for hours and it’s the danger time for choking if vomiting while unconscious.~~~~~~~~~

Someone who they claim fainted and comvulsed and had to be carried to his room, how did he get the energy to jumb~~~~~~~

@roadpizza34702 hours ago45 feet is not a huge distance. Head Injury for sure and maybe a random fracture.But all those long bone fractures don’t sound right.~~~~~~

~%%%%%%%%%%wupsau2:33If he wasn’t thinking straight, could it also be possible that he accidentally dropped his whiskey bottle (edit: and his lighter or his celphone) into the courtyard, then he went over the railing to try to retrieve it, without it occurring to him that doing so might cause injury and death to himself?1⑦日

X@wonyena5 hours ago (edited)overall heartbreaking story a lesson to get professional help early for mental and psychological issues, a person thats mentally stable wouldn’t have to erase themselves through drugs this guy was struggling in ways we probably will never understand to get to this extent…is extremely saddening to imagine the distress he must’ve been in…yes he turned into an awful person but that’s~~~~~

@quinn41595 hours ago (edited)It’s not like he was in LA or London, where there are celebrities. He could had walked in on a robbery. He stood out as being a wealthy celebrity in a drugged up state, alone in BA. The postatuites may have gotten word out to the pimps.6 5日1M@MaquitaTarot-hx2nd1 hour agoIn Argentina the prostitutes and the pimps are the cops. I have family and friends living there and they all tell me this凸⑦回

@RoxanneKnapp-kf3rpSo Liam was on Clonazepam? Was he trying to stop taking Clonazepam and having Withdrawals?凸 47 hours ago@jocelynanonymousvlogs54184 hours agoOnce again NOBODY CARED ENOUGH TO STEP UP AND STEP IN TO HELP HIM!! even the words in his songs speak volumes and NOBODY ACTUALLY LISTENED!! he was not compes mentes when he went crashing through the balcony doors and this is what saved him feeling anything….the only fault I find with the Hotel set-up is the fact that the rail around the brick and mortar of the balcony was way way to

@MaquitaTarot-hx2nd1 hour agoNot to mention that all his fans reported that he was not drugged up or drunk just half hour before all this happened. And one of the witnesses who was recording everything live is now “missing”.凸@MaquitaTarot-hx2nd1 hour agoBtw EVERYTHING you just said is absolutely true. I am a ex medical assistant for 17 year’s and a forensic psychologist and ex criminal investigator.This was a MURDER.

@koontyb48273 hours agoI’ve considered that 911 phone call to be a bit iffy. The hotel staff member saying about the balcony danger for the guest, to me it sounds like a perpetrator covering up an incident he/she/they have committed. Wasn’t it said, that a neighbouring room heard male shouting coming from Liam’s room. Has law enforcement even considered there could have been a fight in his room with another hotel guest or staff member hence so many injuries 25 injuries right. I know it is said that Liam fell 30/40 ft off a balcony but come on that isn’t such a great height to cause such catastrophic injuries? IMHO there is more to this, than meets the eye! A fall of up to 12m/39-40ft is survivable but could have life threatening injuries unless you land directly on your head. I just don’t get it. RIP Liam we are all behind you to find the truth if this was a crime by a perpetrator. PS. I’m no drug userand naurhaunhut ion’t that nInt of

@xIwy568I am still shocked the whiskey bottle didn’t smash after the fall..心8回24 hours ago(UR-ce6gt3 hours agoThe bottle could have been there before the accident史

回@elena 79rus37 minutes agoThere is a lot of weird stuff about the fall. I just saw another video where they were analyzing the position of his body after the fall. Supposedly his body was not lying under the balconies where it would logically be after his fall, but quite far from there.

@Window34571WHERE was his security,in all this?~~~~~~The phone call to the dispatcher seem oft, how the person talk about the balcony.After worrying about what, he might do to himself. Tell me something in this investigation, that doesn’t seem to make sense at this point.凸 2B

@BrittenyMcKenzie1 hour ago@o_huskywolfdean7 yes they literally said in some reports l’ve heard he blacked out and was having convulsions in the lobby. If that’s the case like you said why would they lock him in his room? Nothing is adding up!! I hope they get to the bottom of this so his son and family will one day have peace and some kind of solace in knowing they at least know for sure what happened to Liam. This is trulyheartbreaking he was a bright light and you could tell he truly cared about his fans in how he interacted with them. I get he’sfan

@BrittenyMcKenzie2 hours agoWhat if management/ hotel employees threw him off? They got angry bc how he was acting and the employee that gave him drugs got scared beat him then they threw him off!!That seems way off all of it they were worried bc a balcony is in his room? None of it adds up at all!!

o_huskywolfdean/1 hour ago (edited)There something definitely not adding up here. Like the way they handled Liam and sent it to his room, locking him in there with only balcony he had access to.Not calling an ambulance when he blacked out after he was feeling unwell, they didn’t give him any medical attention that could save his life.The phone call to the dispatcher seem off.く

@lindaw. 58361 hour agoWas the whisky bottle that was found on the floor next to Liams body in pieces??? Nobody has mentioned broken glass, just a whisky bottle as if it was still intact?山2回

1@gutierrezmaria7730 ft fall and it conveniently survived intact.凸1

@gutierrezmaria7730 ft fall and it conveniently survived intact.凸155 minutes ago@codtetrisexpertlevelgamer32311 hour ago (edited)whose dna were on the smashed telly? or what kind of object was used to smash it? and if there was remnants of that object on Mr. Payne’s hands?or was there telly glasses embedded on his shoes if he like, kicked it?凸 3回

@sharonwamsley398744 minutes ago~~~~~~@taisha8733He was apparently clear when he did the medical for his Visa just days earlier from what I have read, also he was seen only minutes earlier regarding other injuries.Interesting take on the subject, thanks.

@nicolarussell4663He was unconscious when he fell, so how did he get over a balcony山 53 hours ago@Zuqui-fr3yg2 hours agoThe hotel guy did not want the police to be calledIf you have a guest that allegedly is destroying the room, it makes sense to call the police and ambulance.Also, I wonder if the drugs were injected ?The missing part is the truth .

@KimBurleson2 hours agoI’m just wondering… where did his watch go?If you look at all his videos before his death and even that day as he was seen outside his hotel visiting with fans, he has his watch on.I’m thinking he was robbed after being carried back to his room, fought back causing things to break in his room, thrown over the balcony unconscious, and then the room was staged with drugs..

@fairuzmaileen56913 hours ago (edited)The “witness” saying he was passing out drugged-up is an employee from the hotel, hotel which in this moment is under investigation. Fans witnesses saw him an hour before his death and say he was lucid and sober, he spoke to his fans

凸 4@bonniecole1303 hours agoI saw a video of him falling on Twitter just after he died that was obviously very quickly removed and he was mostly definitely alive and conscious~~~~~~

@louisejabelal5 hours ago (edited)OR.. he was targeted..surely there are cameras that face the court yard… why hasn’t anybody from police state that saw those videos.The 25 injuries associated with the fall.. I feel those injuries, especially where they were found on his body, was from an incident with someone who wasn’t happy with himOnly Liam knows what really happened and it is really sad… where was the“girlfriend? She’s leaving him alone, especially when he was under distress ….Seems off to me as well. I hope they figure it out.

Translation in English

Room? It doesn’t matter that this boy is a drug addict and irresponsible, that doesn’t give you the right to treat him like trash. These guys and women from the hotel were making fun of Liam in the chat groups and someone from there brought him all the drugs, it was convenient for them to have him there spending money and getting high. I hope justice is done but in this country there is no justiceSpanish commentdesmaya, lo llevan a su habitación y ellos mismo dicenque se puede caer por el balcón, entonces para que lo hacen entrar a la habitación? No importa que este muchacho sea drogadicto e irresponsable, eso no da derecho a tratarlo como basura. Estos tipos y mujeres del hotel se venían burlandoFull Spanish commentBuenos19843 hours agoEl punto es si cuando el encargado del hotel llama a la ambulancia no se sabe si Liam ya estaba muerto, entonces significa que el encargado estaba mintiendo. No entiendo por qué no hay cámaras en el hotel?? Liam se desmaya, lo llevan a su habitación y ellos mismo dicen que se puede caer por el balcón, entonces para que lo hacen entrar a la habitación? No importa que este muchacho sea drogadicto e irresponsable, eso no da derecho a tratarlo como basura.Estos tipos y mujeres del hotel se venían burlando de Liam en los grupos de chat y alguien de ahí mismo le llevaba toda la droga, les convenía tenerlo ahí gastando plata y drogado. Espero se haga justicia pero en este país no existe la justicia.~~~~~

~@treesoul005 hours agoI have a theory about the timing of the call.The guy’s so monotone about it like, this spiraling pop star has been stressing us out for a while now this, great got to cover our butts. At least that’s the vibe I got.

nillyk56/12 hours agoAnd why is no one mentioning his manager/friend/business partner? He had been with him the whole time but left him all alone when he was having a crisis? Moreover, that guy is known for being a shady character.

@koontyb48272 hours ago@falalalalaa “escorted back to his room”,“a guest below Liam’s room heard a man screaming prior to alleged fall” what’s to say a fight started between Liam and the person who escorted him back to his room. There is so much that doesn’t make sense.凸3

@kathikay894255 minutes agosounds sketchy what the hotel employee said. How do we know if he hasn’t already fell when the call was made

nillyk56713 hours ago@rebeccapugh2297 There are parts missing because the cameras were turned off.凸

@nillyk56713 hours ago@falalalalaa See? That’s a lie because there’s contradictory statements from the employees. They first said he had to be escorted to his room but then the head of reception said that he walked to his room on his own. I listened to the recordings myself. They keep contradicting themselves.

@nillyk56713 hours ago@falalalalaa The disturbance story is strange. The ones who made a big fuss were the two escorts that wanted to get paid. Liam was talking to his fans and was completely fine one and a half hour before he passed away.

[greenhikingboots]

Jon’s Pre-Canon Crush

Okay, Jonsa fam. I’ve seen a lot of great posts, especially in the last few months, about Jon’s reactions to Val. Among them, there’s one particular vein I like to assume everyone loves as much as I do. That is, when Jon thinks of Val’s hair as silver vs. when he thinks of it as the color of dark honey. You’ve seen those metas, right? They explain the likelihood of Jon’s future connection to Dany being negative — The air tastes cold. / My tongue is too numb to tell. All I taste is cold. — while his future connection to Sansa will be positive — It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

Well, in this post I want to expand on the angle of Val-is-sometimes-a-stand-in-for-Sansa. Only, I don’t want to speculate on what will happen between Jon and Sansa in the future, if we ever get GRRM’s last two books. Enough people have already done that, and they’ve done it so wonderfully that I have little to add. Instead, as the title of this post says, I want to focus on Jon’s pre-canon crush. More specifically: I want to focus on what Jon’s thoughts and feelings about Val say about his thoughts and feelings about Sansa.

But let me lay some groundwork first, okay? Until a few weeks ago, I went back and forth on pre-canon crush theories. I agreed they held a lot of potential and were a lot of fun to daydream about — a great premise for a one-shot, to be sure! Oh, and I’ve always loved it when people said things like, “Hey, Jon, your Targaryen is showing.” That’s classic stuff. But did I really think GRRM meant to hint at prior feelings rather than just laying a foundation for future feelings? Again, until a few weeks ago, I wasn’t totally convinced either way. But now I am fully committed to the Pre-Canon Crush Camp, assigned to cabin Jon-Had-Feelings-for-Sansa. [Did Sansa have feelings for Jon too? Ummm maybe? I think there’s some evidence to support that, but not as much. But, hey, that’s not the point of this post. Sorry. Moving on.] So what changed? Well, basically some ideas I’d previously had sunk in on a deeper level. It started with this post from @sherlokiness. It talks about GRRM commenting on a discrepancy in the books, two occasions where Jeyne Westerling’s physical descriptions do not match up. GRRM said the discrepancies were a mistake, a really unfortunate one because it distracts from the times when he intentionally included discrepancies of physical appearances. And basically us Jonsas loved it. Like, “Yep! Make sense! We assumed as much already, Mr. Martin.” And that’s because of the canon line mentioned earlier, right? You know the whole thing, don’t you? Oh, but you want me to quote it here anyway? Okay, fine, I’ll oblige.

They [Ghost and Val] look as though they belong together. Val was clad all in white [bleh, bleh, bleh] …but her eyes were blue, her long braid the color of dark honey, her cheeks flushed red from the cold. It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

Direwolf. Lots of white. Suspicious ellipses. Blue eyes. Long braid the color of dark honey. Right, okay, got it.  [BTW. Did you know there’s also a point, early on, where Val’s described as having high cheekbones? You know, a feature Sansa has as well!?!?] Anyway, when I saw sherlokiness’s post about GRRM’s comments and the Jonsas relating it to that canon scene with Ghost and Val, I reblogged it. Naturally. And in the tags I said something like, “I’ll have to double check but I’m pretty sure the willowy creature line comes after this line. As in, maybe Jon knew exactly who Val reminded him in that moment and he was trying to talk himself out of his pre-canon crush coming back to the surface.” I’m paraphrasing here. My tags were probably not as clear as that. Also, I was being a bit facetious. It was a thought I’d had before, but just a passing one. Again (AGAIN! Do I say that too much?), I’d been going back and forth about pre-canon crush theories for a long time. But @agentrouka-blog saw my tags and was like, “You might be onto something there.” And then @zimshan saw my tags too and did the double check for me. Thanks! And guess what? GUESS WHAT, JONSA FAM!? I was right about the order. First, Jon sees Ghost and Val, thinks her eyes are blue and her hair is like dark honey, and it is a lovely sight. Second, this line:

Val looked the part [of a princess] and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.

But guess what else? The order isn’t even the most striking thing. The most striking thing is how closely these two lines appear to one another — within just a few pages!!! That's what zimshan said. So I went back to read it myself. Not just the two lines to check the order, but a little before, and a little after, and everything in between. If you want, you can do the same. It’s ADWD Jon XI.

Want to know what stuck out to me most? The willowy creature line actually seems… so odd, and out of place, and unnecessary. I swear to you. Let me try to explain.

Basically, by that point in the chapter, Jon has already clearly established his take on Val. She’s beautiful, everyone knows it, but she’s more than that. She’s strong and capable. She found Tormund and brought him back to Castle Black when Jon’s Night’s Watch Rangers couldn’t manage it. Like, Jon’s thankful for Val, okay? 

Oh, and he also seems aware that he holds her in higher regard than the rest of the men who keep calling her a princess even though she’s not one. I think he feels smug about it, to be honest. Like, he wouldn’t use these words because it’s ASOIAF, but he knows he’s a budding feminist and he’s proud of himself for it. Like, “I’m so much better than these asshats who don’t respect women and think all Val has to offer is her pretty face.”

How great is that? I love book Jon so much.

Where was I, though? Oh! Oh, oh, oh! This next part is key. Up until the willowy creature line, Jon has not had a single disparaging thought about Val. Val being cruel about Shireen’s greyscale hasn’t happened yet. But for some reason — *Getting too executed. Brain malfunctioning!*

AH! I SWEAR JONSA FAM! If you read the willowy creature in fuller context, it comes across as if Jon’s correcting himself for having a disparaging thought about Val, like he’s reminding himself of who she truly is. She’s a warrior princess, not a willowy creature. But like, why? Why does Jon feel the need to do this? He hasn’t had a disparaging thought about Val, so why correct himself as if he has?

Just because she’s beautiful? Just because he’s tired of other men calling her a princess? I mean, I guess that could be the whole story. That’s certainly how we’re supposed to take it, if we’re taking it at face value. But I’m not convinced. Go read it again, and I think you’ll see that when the willowy creature line happens, it actually feels like a weird logic leap.

The dots aren’t connecting because one dot is missing!!!! Let me put a pin in that for a moment while I turn to other mini metas in our Jonsa fandom. Antis like to say, “Jon doesn’t like girls like Sansa. He doesn't like willowy creatures, he said so himself.” But we know that’s crap, right? The boy who liked Ygritte’s gentle side? The boy who helps Alys Karstark by marrying her to Sigorn? The boy who dreamed his mother was a highborn lady with kind eyes? The boy who wanted to show his hypothetical wife Winterfell’s glass gardens and bath with her in the hot pools?

Yeah, that boy is a budding feminist, like I said.

So again I ask (AGAIN!) why would Jon — who is not especially critical of women in general and has not been critical of Val at all up to this point — feel the need to correct himself by thinking this critical thing about willowy creatures? In other words, why does he lift up Val by putting down some vague idea of other women he’s never had a problem with before?

Well, obviously it turns out that I believe my facetious, tongue in cheek tags more than I realized when I wrote them. My position is that somewhere in the two pages between ...a long while since Jon had seen a sight so lovely… and ...not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair… Jon realized Val reminded him of Sansa, he felt guilty and ashamed about it, and then felt the need to do damage control. And because guilt and shame are icky, confusing feelings, his damage control took the form of being critical of Sansa even though he isn’t normally critical of such women. 

Am I making sense? How do I explain myself further? Like, why am I so stuck on this idea Jon’s willowy creature line being two pages after the Ghost and Val looking lovely together line must mean Jon had a pre-canon crush?

I think the crux is what I said about the willowy creature line feeling like a weird logic leap — like the dots aren’t connecting because one is missing. The missing dot is Jon being aware that he’s mentally swapped Val with Sansa. He just doesn’t acknowledge this on the page.

Let me be extra clear. I’m now differing from several others who have written about pre-canon crush theories in that I think Jon was aware of his crush. I’ve seen many say it’s all subconscious. But this stuff with Val makes me think otherwise.

I mean, I know Jon has a pattern of dissociation. For him, thinking, and speaking, and acting from his subconsciousness is a common occurrence. So, yes, he could have subconsciously thought Val looked like Sansa and subconsciously felt guilty and ashamed and therefore subconsciously decided to do damage control by subconsciously reminding himself Val is a warrior princess and therefore not a willowy creature.

But I think GRRM was hinting at an exception to Jon’s pattern with these canon lines. Because if the first part is happening subconsciously — Jon thinking Val looks like Sansa and that it’s a lovely sight — then he wouldn’t feel the need to do damage control afterwards? If he wasn’t aware of thinking of Sansa in that moment, isn’t it more likely he’d just carry on with taking Val to meet Selyse, and the odd, out of place, unnecessary line about a willowy creature wouldn’t have been included? What else, what else?

I said earlier that I think Jon’s crush is an innocent, not sexual thing. Let me expand on that. And uuuuuhhhhh... let me clarify that I think that might be changing some over time.  My guess is when Jon was younger, his thoughts were more along these lines: “Sansa is pretty, and a proper lady, and everything men are taught to want. She’ll be a good wife for someone someday. Obviously not me. That’s sinful, I don’t want it, and I’m a bastard so I can’t marry a highborn lady anyway. But objectively, Sansa’s a good catch.” Which kinda matches how Jon thinks of Val at times, right? Like, she’s a catch but he doesn’t want her. He’s not taking Winterfell and a Wife because Winterfell belongs to Sansa and he’s a man of the Night’s Watch, dammit! But hang on a second. Sometimes Jon’s thoughts about Val are more elicit, aren’t they? He thinks about the size of her breasts and she’s the hypothetical wife he pictures romancing in Winterfell. Don’t worry, I’m not saying I’m secretly a Jon/Val shipper. What I’m getting at is this other thing we’ve talked about in the Jonsa fandom. Jone projects his general desires onto Val. He’s getting older. He’s unhappy at the Wall. Winterfell isn’t Robb’s like he thought it would be, and Bran and Rickon are thought to be dead. And Stannis is offering Winterfell and Val to him. Plus he’s now been intimate with a woman, Ygritte. So he knows that sex feels nice. All in all, Jon’s becoming more in tune with wanting Winterfell, and a wife, and a family, and wanting to fu—

You get the idea. ;)

Soooooo. If you buy into the premise that A) Jon considered Sansa a good catch when they were younger B) He’s thinking more and more about romance and sex C) Val is also a good catch and easy to project feelings onto and D) Woopsies, Val just reminded me of Sansa! Well, then where does all that leave Jon? Feeling like he needs to distance himself from positive thoughts about Sansa, right? But without ever thinking her name because of his pattern of dissociation and because GRRM is tricky like that.  Am I making my point clearer, or just talking in circles?  Like, I know plenty of people have already said Val is a switch-back-and-forth-stand-in-for-other-characters. The first two short paragraphs of this post mentions those metas.  But holy smokes! If Jon is aware of A-D mentioned above, that adds a fascinating layer of subtext to his scenes with and thoughts about Val.  Let’s talk about it forever!

Just kidding. I think I’m almost done here.  Basically, I think the willowy creature line is Jon knowingly saying to himself, “Yikes, the thoughts I had about Sansa in the past didn’t bother me much because they were 99% innocent. But they are less innocent now and that’s a problem! You can’t like Sansa! Don’t confuse Sansa with Val,  dummy! Val is a warrior princess! Sansa is a willowy creature and willowy creatures are bad!”

Okay, sure, Jon.  Let me wrap up with one more canon line.

Of Sansa brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow.

We often link this line to Ygritte for obvious reasons, but I’m now in the habit of linking it more to Val and the canon lines mentioned previously. I think GRRM wrote a the three lines — a sight so lovely + willow creature + of Sansa brushing out Lady’s coat — as a subtle continuation of one another. Us Jonsas saw the potential for underlying romantic feelings in the last one, that’s nothing new. But I want to add that it’s a direct contrast to the willowy creature line. As Jon is bleeding out, he can no longer be bothered to put up a front and pretend he doesn’t have feelings for Sansa, feelings that have gotten more complicated as of late.

Oh so subtle. Really not that much different than what others have said before me. But different enough I wanted to mention it. Now someone put it in a fanfic!!

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Normally, my meta is pretty focused on what happens in the story, and I bring things from reality to use when it’s useful. But I like pulling stories apart to talk about how the story works, and stories only exist with a thin tether to reality most of the time, and they have wildly different rules.

This one is a little different. This one is going to have a lot of outside information brought to bear to discuss Sherliam’s relationship, but they’re things I think are relevant: A Japanese word and its origins, how creating art and stories works, what being an artist is…and how that all impacts William and Sherlock, how they relate to each other as creations of artists and artists themselves.

Basically, stuff about how art is made and the context it lives in. I think that's more useful than comparing it to reality. It’ll be interesting, I promise! Just a little different than usual.

Let’s start here. I think you’ll see where I’m going with the Sherliam thing pretty quickly, but if not, don’t worry. I’m going to explain.

I saw this post on Bluesky during aro week, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot since.

Basically, there’s a word in Chinese, that has actually carried over to Japanese (I’ll get to that in a minute) that means, basically, “person who truly understands your songs.” It’s based off this story of this musician would make instrumental music, as one does, and this person who understood immediately, without being told, what the song was about. And this relationship was so deeply important and meaningful that after the second person died, the first destroyed his instrument, because there seemed to be no point in continuing to create music without the person who got it.

Yes, I know, you’re all seeing the Sherliam parallels already, but give me a bit longer before we get there.

This word carried over to Japanese with a slightly different pronunciation (as happens), but the same kanji and the same meaning. My Japanese-English dictionary defines it solely as “an exceptionally close friend.” No other options are provided. So I looked it up in some Japanese dictionaries! They both started with the same origin story of the word, and then both came up with a handful of definitions: Dear friend, person who understands your heart, partner, comrade, eventually it got down to sweetheart, someone you can rely on. My favorite was “Peerless/unmatched friend.”

The word does seem to be fairly formal and archaic and mostly relegated to Literature™ and classic works. It’s not a word that’s canonically ever applied to Sherlock or William.

And yet. And yet.

I don’t know how common the word is in Japanese that they’d recognize or know it. Whether or not it actually influenced the story from background knowledge, intentionally or not. But knowing the concept now, and knowing the concept has existed in Japanese culture as…as an option does change how I think of some of the media I’ve seen before. The word notwithstanding, the concept exists.

As an artist myself, I deeply understand the need/desire/hope/longing/etc. for a person who just. Gets what you’re trying to do. The person who deeply understands what you’re doing and your intentions and the way you expressed yourself. Who understands you via your creations.

I am, as many of you know, looking for a new critique partner right now. I have one, but I need one or two others for Reasons. And one of them already turned up a dud because this person’s feedback had nothing to do with what I want the story to be or what I’m trying to write. It’s a lot of marketing advice. Advice on how to make the story more what they would want, or more like other books.

A good CP needs to see what the intention of the story is, so they can make that story stronger and help that story make that point to more people. They have to understand your art. Not to the degree of a 知音, but nonetheless.

Sherlock and William are, obviously, on the level of understanding each other this way. They just get each other, without explanation, and they both treasure that relationship dearly. So dearly that Sherlock, when faced with the prospect of losing the person who truly got him, would have rather died with him then survive without that connection.

Because what was the point of doing things, of making things, of being, without that person who got it. How to bear living once you’ve finally found that person?

And I think this kind of gets to what Louis was seeing in Sherlock and hoping he would do to validate William’s existence. Sherlock got William. He saw his intentions through his plans, and saw who he was and what his soul was even under all the masks and walls and machinations. He understood why William would want to die, and that he was actually trying to die intentionally almost immediately.

And because Sherlock actually understood William’s existence, he could actually validate William’s existence. The same way someone has to understand what my book’s story is trying to be to actually help it. The same way someone actually understanding what the fuck I was trying to write makes me feel…well, like writing and sharing it with people is actually worth it, because I can do this.

And, because Sherlock understood William’s intentions and plans, he made changes to the story William planned, because he saw the weaknesses from a distance, saw the intentions without drowning himself in what was already there the way William the Author did. Because he saw the intentions, but also the actual effects.

And William’s plan came out stronger and more effective and more beautiful for it all. Because Sherlock was there to see it, to understand it, and to help.

After all, Sherlock is an artist, too, even if we only see him with his violin on occasion. He knows what it’s like. And he knows William helped give him a stage to show off what Sherlock wanted to share with the world, too (forensics, etc.).

And I think it’s interesting, after all that, to remember that Yuukoku no Moriarty is created by not one artist, but two. Did they understand each other’s intentions the way William and Sherlock understand each other? Almost certainly not, especially given that we lost one of them from the series. But they had to work together, to understand each other’s intentions and art, in order to work together and create the story. To fill in where the other fell short, to give feedback and strengthen the story together.

We don’t know much at all about their working relationship or how the series came to be from the two of them. It’s really impossible to speculate if they felt in sync or they wished they were working with someone who Got Them better. But I think either way, Sherlock and William’s working together to create a story that was stronger, fuller, and better than either could have come up with alone is an interesting reflection of their story’s two creators anyway.

[hotdamnhunnam]

Hey Nicole, I really hope you do not take offense to this because you are the writer; you write whatever and however you want to write. Just like I, as the reader, can read whatever I’d like. I really really want to keep reading your fics, however I keep stopping when I see that you begin to rhyme. My brain just starts focusing on the rhymes, try to skip over them, and then I lose interest. Which truly sucks because I really like the story lines of your Jax and Ray works! I also don’t really like the over use of “bitch”, but again, completely your writing and your preferences. In my humble (and of course unsolicited) opinion, if you could perhaps rhyme less and use “bitch” less.

With all this being said, I completely understand that you write because you really want to and none of us are paying you to write so what readers say to you shouldn’t matter much. I just wanted to throw this out there as a sort of constructive criticism that I honestly hope you do not take rudely, because that is not my intention at all.

Hi anon.

Firstly, thank you for framing this politely as not all anons do — I appreciate it a ton. I will try to reply with the same courtesy, but I apologize in advance if any salty energy comes through, because to be honest receiving this ask has upset and hurt me.

I wish this ask hadn’t been sent anonymously, as I would’ve preferred to answer it privately, but on anon that’s not an option unfortunately. I have *issues* with tumblr’s perception of me, which is why I’m so vocal about craving praise publicly; throughout most of my tumblr experience, for lots of complicated reasons, I’ve felt as if I look pathetic and lame. Now people are going to see this unsolicited criticism I’ve received and it adds to that feeling and makes me ashamed.

I wish you had taken the time to get more familiar with my blog before deciding that it would be appropriate for you to criticize my writing style. If you had checked the dates on my old posts, maybe read some of my author’s notes, you would’ve noticed that I actually haven’t been writing fics for a very long while. This ask assumes that I’m still writing at this time, and that it makes sense for you to advise me to write differently because you don’t like the way I rhyme. But I stopped writing long ago. That’s something most of my readers and followers know. When I recently became active again, it was with the intention of making new connections, and hopefully getting more love and praise on my old stuff, because I never felt I got enough.

I wish you hadn’t referred to my “over use” of ‘bitch’, as if there’s some objective standard as to how often writers are supposed to use ‘bitch’, and I just transgressed over it. Yes I use it a lot, but it’s no secret that this blog is 99% filthy smut, a big part of the point of which is to scratch my own kinky itch. Of course I understand that I use ‘bitch’ more often than you’d like to see, but that’s just a matter of personal preference; while I appreciate that most of this ask was presented politely, I really don’t think “over use” was the appropriate reference.

I wish you hadn’t described it as seeing that I “begin to rhyme” as if it’s something that I start doing mid-fic at random times. Pretty much every fic I’ve posted here starts rhyming in the very first few lines. It’s a consistently intentional artistic choice — I like the way it gives my writing a distinctive voice. Sort of like lyrics set to music. Lyrics rhyme ‘cause there’s a cadence and a vibe that only rhyming can provide and I love diving into that magical world whenever writing or rereading my own fics. It’s also really fucking hard to write this way; I’ve been writing since I was four, and never rhymed back in the day (like, years ago when I wrote an original series that very nearly got a book deal and TV show deal I obviously didn’t rhyme because of course that’s not what publishers are looking for). I’m capable of writing in a way that’s more conventional for sure. But I’ve always loved the poetic side of prose, the way it flows, so in these past few years of writing fanfics, just for kicks, this rhyming style has organically become a kind of fun exciting challenge that I wanted to explore. At the risk of sounding like a snobby stuck-up whore, I think it takes a special talent and I’ve wished people would recognize it more. I’m well aware that this writing style isn’t for everybody, and I totally understand that it’s not your cup of tea! But I’ve had plenty of wonderfully supportive readers who don’t mind it, many of whom have told me that they like it, thankfully. So if and when I ever decide to write again, it’ll be for myself most importantly, as well as for the readers who admire and enjoy the unique way that I write my stories; I have to decline your suggestion, respectfully.

I wish you hadn’t said “constructive criticism” as if there’s some kind of error or flaw in my fics, that you’re in a position to advise me on how to fix. I realize that you also said it’s just your own humble opinion which I respect, but there’s something that still just rubs me the wrong way about use of the phrase “constructive criticism” in this context, especially since it’s not even constructive really, given that I’m not currently writing as I’ve explained previously. Criticism tends to have an effect. Even if it’s constructively intended, it can get destructively stuck in our heads, and make us feel discouraged and upset. Especially on tumblr where most writers are just trying to fuck around and connect, I think it’s generally best not to give it, when it’s unsolicited. Of course there are writers on tumblr who are open to receive it, or even seek it, and that is absolutely great! But I’m not one of them; there’s a reason why the little notes at the end of all of my fics urge my readers to let me know if they enjoyed them… I’m only here for good vibes and fun times and positive feedback on the stuff that I create.

Anyway. I’m not sure what you actually like about my fics for Jax and Ray — “I really like the story lines” is rather vague — but there are tons of writers here who’ve written Jax/Ray fics with awesome storylines, just as good as or better than mine! And the cool news is that most of them probably use ‘bitch’ fewer times, and *none of them* will bother you with rhymes! (I’m pretty sure I am the only Charlie fic writer who does this clownass rhyming thing, but I’d be intrigued and surprised to know if there is anyone else with a similar style of writing…)

So I hope you find fics that align better with your preference! Your preferences are of course completely valid and I’m sure you’re not the only one who finds my writing style unpleasant. I really do appreciate the polite tone that you’ve taken with this ask and hope that my response makes sense. I know I have rambled way more than I should have, so if you don’t bother to read every paragraph, I won’t take offense!

Sending you good vibes and wishing you the best ✨

[yoursicklilbaby]

I've been thinking about her

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened: why did they do what they did, was there some logic in it, were we so furious because of the denial, as we were unable to accept the forlorn finale and why did it hurt that much so nobody could recover from it till now.

It’s been two years, guys. Two years of re-reading Luke Jennings books, writing songs and dedicating them to VillanEve, doom scrolling post about them, about all the anger fans still got for Laura Neal and the shitty ending (as Villanelle would say with a sexy Russian accent). 

I was listening to my beloved Unloved soundtrack of course, all this time. I’ve been on their concert in Paris recently and felt euphoric as I was sinking into Eve and Villanelle love story again and again through their divine music. Every word and sound reflected with my whole body and soul – it was ineffable. Every time I listen to “I’ve been thinking about her” it brings me to tears. I genuinely want this song to play at my funeral one day.

Well, I did my best to remain in this state of equanimity and kinda succeed. But a couple of months ago I decided to re-watch KE from season 1 and here is what happened. I happily binge-watched all three seasons and it felt like home – a perfect comfort zone, a way of my escapism. I even discovered a place where they shoot Villanelle’s apartment (here in Paris), I walked there, secretly got into the courtyard – it was AMAZING – visualizing what happened there in the 1st season, remembering their dialogue with Eve – “I think about you all the time” and stuff. It was comme la presence de Villanelle and I felt so happy and inspired there.

Lately I realised that I’ve been struggling, not wanting to re-watch the goddamn last season. Why the fuck it was so hard? I just can skip the last 5 minutes and et voilà – it would be just perfect. Plus dearest Luke Jennings has been writing and posting his new book about Villanelle and Eve (RESURRECTION) since November 2023, so we know that in his book they got their happy ending and their love story goes on, so it’s good news, right? We have something to rely on “more rock than sand” and it sounds so easy…

But frankly it’s not – I couldn’t pretend I did not see it – the ending they’ve made. I didn’t want to be in this denial any more. I was so angry, I didn’t want to go through it again. But I wanted to see the kiss, to feel their love, to embrace this fucking finale as well. The mixed up feelings were bothering me much so I decided to contemplate on them more, to write this down and here’s what I got.

For me this show, the VillanEve story, was very personal. And it started way long before the book. The book was a cure to find my peace AFTER I watched the ending, so I think it is what it is: the show is one thing and the book is another. I cannot pretend they are the same, like “Villanelle’s death was never meant to be in the book so fuck Laura Neal and her interpretation”. It’s fucking painful but I need to admit it – they ruined my favourite show, something I really loved and I feel so miserable I cannot simply rewatch it from time to time (like Twin Peaks for instance) to feel cheerful and happy KNOWING what awaits me in the end. It’s not a comfort zone anymore, it is a pure Hélène style torture. 

I’ve never felt so attached to the heroes before. I mean, I watch a lot of tv shows and movies, and I easily emphathysise to every story I love. But THIS was different. It was a mind-blowing love-journey, irrational, psychotic, driven, crazy, fun, epic, passionate, surreal, iridescent and QUEER. I NEVER felt so seen and understood on the deepest level by just WATCHING the show. VillanEve resonates with my personal life and fantasies and I was glad that I found it. I’m more of a visual person, so it was crucial for me to be able to WATCH it, to see the performance of Sandra and Jodie and their desperate game with unresolved sexual tension where should, no, MUST have been the glorious end game. The happy ending for them and for all of us. Not just us queers, but all the people.

This show was twisted, sexy and fun from the very beginning – thanks to ingenious Phoebe Waller-Bridge. And it should have stayed like that and ended like that. It shouldn’t have to be a torture. It’s not Game of Thrones for christ sake. Besides, the story of The Twelve was screwed up too, and I will explain why.

We have a lot of this political shit in life already. Right parties, fucked up capitalism, like Russian government and its dictature. It’s no fun guys, this is really frightful and disastrous. So I believe we people do need some kind of an inspiration, a hope in the shows we watch – so we can take this hope to our lives and keep it, lean on it. In dark times like this it would be really helpful and right – so they should have caught the The Twelve gang and crush it, end it for good. But they (producers) fucked it all up so it’s quite impossible to be unfucked. 

They ruined the VillanEve AND the fiction fantasy itself. It was the Author and the Twink death at once. Why not choosing an open ending if you had no idea how to end the show? The open final is always a good way, for me it’s all about respecting your audience. Think David Lynch way. Open endings give you a possibility to rewatch the show and come up with new ideas and interpretations. But they screw this one too.

So no, I think will never accept the finale. I will be grieving for a long long time. Until some director or a show runner who loves VillanEve as much as I do, makes a come-back to fix this shit.

[accio-victuuri]

💟 yh family concert vlog cpns & some yibo thoughts…💭💬

thank you to yibo-official for feeding us with some content this weekend. it’s been kinda quiet since friday, so this is a sweet treat for everyone before monday comes in.

( excuse this very extra gif i’m using for this post. lol. i’ve just been obsessed w/ how yibo looks in this. the way he turned his head is so cute. soooo… ☺️ )

YBO is back. or the question is, did they ever leave? lol. ever since that news/rumor came out, together with the lrlg post, I was still 50/50. Because it’s hard to confirm things, especially ones that involve his career and what’s allegedly going on. However with the content that’s being released, from OnO to now, it has the same feel as the original YBO. who knows. I’m just happy, like everyone else, to see this kind of updates from his team.

Yibo is not really one to share much personal stuff anymore on his social media accounts so YBO is so important. Plus the fact that they regularly update their IG too ( remember to interact on their please! ) for us international fans gives them plus points in my book.

It’s also a relief to see the negative comments wind down to being non existent. I truly understand why some fans feel the need to complain, but ybo is not really that place. I personally don’t like the idea of acting like an anti in a space that represents yibo. that could just be me tho.

Anyway, I hope we get more! I wanna see the bts footage they have with BTF & One and Only! I feel like they spoiled us with HB’s 1 hour + BTS footage so we’re all expecting to get the same for BTF & OnO. BTF has some restrictions i guess with what they can share since some filming were done in military sites.

Now I wanna highlight this portion of the vlog, with WYB being in a good mood during the last part of the concert.

This was the part where some people were saying that he looked ‘unhappy’, implying that’s because he didn’t wanna be there / cause there are mostly bxgs who attended. however, this clip, and a lot of the moments on the blog told a different story.

He was obviously not dragged in there — crying and screaming to perform. He was invested with his performance. He looked happy to be with his professional “family”. It’s an example of some fans having their own biased interpretation with this event. I respect those who decided to not attend, it’s their choice and money. But it was really irritating to see them nag and bitch about those who decided to support yibo. Plus it’s their own money. They can spend it however they want.

Funny thing is, those big name accounts who were so vocal about being against Yuehua Ent. & attending — did in fact, attend the concert 😂😂😂 so yeah. It’s an age old story. Don’t believe big name accounts, especially on weibo. These KOLs that “lead” fan opinion can be very shady. At the end of the day, we’re all here to support WYB and his projects in the best way we can. 🙏🏼

=====================================

🍫🍦 TIME FOR SOME SUGAR/CPNS !!!! 🍭🧁

=====================================

The fact that the video is 8:05 minutes long which is an example of how kadian/numbers are important. Well, not all the time, but the team takes that into consideration. So if you see them pulling a 10:05, that would be very sus 👀

As usual, some editing similarities….

Again, editing similarities, even if there are so many could still be a coincidence but it’s fun to still pay attention.

Also the details in YIBITO. He has the apple watch! I will never get over the fact that this “detail” is being highlighted like this when it is a popular cpn among turtles and we always look for it.

Some also noticed this “….” Which we don’t know the relevance of, but it could be a clue that LRLG is from Bobo’s team. This is unusual for me, cause ellipsis are usually “…” right?

I’m taking it as a galaxy brain cpn 🌌

ZZ also allegedly got off work today at 19:22, and then ybo posts @ 19:36. Yes, WYB has his own team but since we CPN that their staff could overlap — this timing is interesting. Maybe it needed a final sign off from the other boss? 😂😂😂😂

SHOUT OUT TO BOTTLED JOY, cause WYB was seen using some during the bts. He also took one with him in the Thailand roadshow. So i guess it’s safe to say that he has a good relationship with the brand, despite what others feel about them. He wouldn’t be showing off if he wasn’t. I’m looking forward to his renewal with them and what new stuff & campaign will be in place. BXGs will surely be lining up to support.

-END