#since I haven’t been making a lot of digital art lately I figured I might as well post old stuff

[leahdrawsstuff]

[draconicdeityarts]

Hey there! I love you’re semi realistic, semi cartoonish art style bro! I hope you don’t mind me asking but what software/mediums do you use? I am trying to work on my lighting and shadows and textures but I have no clue how artists like you achieve such detail

First off- thank you so much! I truly appreciate it. And second- oh my goodness I am so sorry for how long this ask has sat in my inbox! I hope some of this can still help you :’D

As far as software goes, I’m almost exclusively working in procreate as of late. There’s plenty of great programs- if you need something free and desktop based, I highly recommend Krita. I have a few brushes from different packs that I often default to. You can see them all and links to said packs through this answer I gave to someone asking about my brushes earlier:

As far as detail in my work goes, that’s just through a loooot of practice and doodles and drawings. I’ve been drawing since I could pick up a pencil, so I’ve had a lot of time to figure out the way I like to do things- but even then I have so much to learn!

I do, however, work in many traditional forms of media as well! I haven’t done so as much lately since digital doesn’t require cleanup, but I honestly believe that working in traditional for my entire life up until 5 or so years ago has a hand in how I approach things digitally as well. I’ve done pen and marker illustration, pencil and colored pencil, acrylic painting, as well as 3D work. I’ve worked in a lot of media and I want to get around to trying as much as I can when I have the energy to! If you have questions specifically about what traditional media I use or work with let me know!

When it comes to improving on rendering, doing small studies of images you really like the lighting in helps a lot for me. Learning how to break light in a photo down to simple, blocky shapes helps to figure out getting an initial layer down to refine later when doing full pieces! When rendering a character, especially if drawing something that isn’t in a scene, I always recommend marking out the direction the light is coming from as well as color of the light before even starting, so that you can determine where highlights and shadows would be placed in an initial blockout. Keep in mind there’s different kinds of light in a piece- I would recommend looking into tutorials about direct light, indirect light, reflected light, etc to get a better feel for how it works- while I do my best, I don’t think I am quite skilled enough to explain those nuances.

When approaching most textures, especially unfamiliar ones, references are my best friend always. It might be a good idea to just do test sheets/practice making the textures that would be useful to you on occasion! And in the end, textures also tie into lighting as well, since a lot of what makes textures super distinct is how light hits them, especially when it comes to things like metal. It may be a bit of a hot take, but in a lot of cases I tend to avoid a lot of digital texture/object brushes, especially those meant to simulate natural textures like leaves, and I do those textures manually instead. I just personally like having more control over those shapes and feel it looks better when each texture is made intentionally by hand! Sometimes I do use texture brushes especially for backgrounds, abstract work or subtle layers, especially if I’m working on something very fast, but it’s not my first choice. However I do know there’s plenty of artists who use texture brushes in ways that look great, so that’s just personal preference. :)

I do apologize it took me so long to respond! But if you have any specific questions, my dms are open and I want to start replying to y’all more!

[yeowninefive]

1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 16, 20, 21, 29, 30 (So sorry for the question dump!)

1. Autodesk Sketchbook Express when I first got my tablet. Photoshop Elements and Paint Tool SAI I don’t use for regular drawing anymore; but they still get irregular use for other purposes (image edits and drawings for academic works; i.e. flowcharts for programming).

On a similar note, while I use Clip Studio Paint for practically all of my regular drawing nowadays, I did use that program years ago for a short animation; before going to try and learn Opentoonz. I would like to return to it at least once, for a colored animation; since I’m still trying to get over OpenToonz’ learning curve.

2. It’s not something I really think of much, but I guess I draw characters facing right more often that I do drawing them facing left.

3. This is a stretch / loose interpretation. But even though I haven’t drawn / posted any new ones as of late. I would say my videogame level maps / level design draw their roots from my earliest (traditional) drawings when I was younger, which were maps of highway / interstates. I sometimes still think about doing a true “throwback piece” to those days and draw a new highway map.

4. I would really like to get back to drawing more detailed environments like I used to do when I first started getting into digital art. But I have trouble getting started in any meaningful way; and the newer landscapes I do are still simpler compared to my earlier stuff. I imagine part of the problem is that my earlier, more detailed landscapes were traditional drawings on paper, so maybe I was more willing to spend more time filling in/adding blanks compared to digital? I’m still trying to work it out.

8. I have a bunch of art and videogame concepts / projects I have that are perpetual shelf occupants, stuff that I might go back and tinker with, others that go untouched for years. Some are lucky to get rescued and either finished or reworked to finally see the light of day. I imagine at some point I’m going to have to essentially “clean out the closet” and decide what stays or goes.

10. Tall boots! They’ve kinda always been a mainstay for me.

11. It varies between music and podcasts (which are typically movie reviews). Right now I think I’ve hit a regular track where if I’m trying to draw something new or develop a concept; I listen to music for inspiration (which varies a lot—videogame instrumentals, jazz, R&B, alternative, piano instrumentals, mashups, etc.). If I have a concrete art idea that I just need to develop into a finished product (i.e. doing construction, coloring, etc.).

12. I don’t think I have any, since I keep trying to vary my approach in constructing bodies. Each of them tend to be somewhat difficult for me, at least in terms of getting the proportions right. I suppose drawing arms and legs are what I have the easiest time with.

13. I don’t really have any that comes to mind. There’s probably some, I could certainly name particular genres or studios; but not individual creators.

16. I’m not sure, admittedly. I guess that I would probably be pretty good with fanart (and likely would be more popular than I currently and historically have been). It’s not so much I don’t like drawing fanart, than it is that it’s mainly not been my focus. It’s something that I’ve previously said that I’ve been hoping to rectify in recent years, hopefully this year.

20. Honestly, I don’t know what I (used to) draw that would be considered difficult. I guess drawing level design would probably be up there; at least in the sense of it probably being difficult to plan out, or figure out a way to try and make it engaging or interesting. Like I said earlier, my interest for drawing highways I imagine was a prelude to drawing maps/course design. My parents like to say that I should have become an architect.

21. Highly detailed aesthetics for character designs and environments, usually of a realistic style. Although I try to shuffle my aesthetics around regularly, I’d say I usually do hit a limit with my art where it’s either at least stylized and/or simple to some degree.

29. Not sure. I guess the closest thing I can say to answer this question is that there’s a bunch of things I like and/or outright love, but I don’t regularly create fanart of. (As I said previously, I normally don’t draw much fanart in general, and I’d like to try and change that this year.)

30. There have been some pieces I’ve done that I’m proud of, mainly because I put extra touches of flourish on and/or think are probably among my best (recent) works; but I can’t say they have gotten any notable attention (especially here on tumblr, which as of late gets less traction compared to Twitter and sometimes deviantArt). A recent piece I feel has been overlooked a bit is included below (original post to it here); but here are links to some other pieces from last year I feel were overlooked here on this site.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #383

“the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest  /  try to tell me, tell me he’s the best  /  i don’t really give a good goddamn ‘cuz i got my lunchbox & i’m armed real well”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.

[that-house]

Hey so I hit 100 followers today!

Buckle up, this is gonna be a LOOOONG post.

I quite honestly expected it (while my ego is a little smaller than my jokes make it out to be it is definitely present), I didn’t expect it to happen so fast.

It’s not an insane milestone, plenty of people have 100 followers. A hefty portion of my followers are bigger than me. But it’s still important to me. Knowing that there’s 100 people out there who enjoy my shit makes me happy.

First and foremost the credit quite honestly has to go to ahegao George Washington. No, I’m not joking. Until I posted on r/tumblr about my desire to draw that, I had 0 followers. I jumped to like 10 overnight, which was awesome. And then those new followers helped me spread my posts and get more attention.

Secondly I’d like to shoutout @imaverysadgirl and @themeaninglessjumble. You two were my first real tumblr frens. You were the first of my followers to really interact with me. Ember, I’m super happy you’re alive to see me hit 100 followers. Jumble (I don’t know your name unless I forgot it), your art and creations are great and you deserve way more attention.

To all the rest of you, you guys are great, too. Every new follower makes me happy. I’d say I don’t deserve you all, but my colossal ego says I do. Regardless, being nemesi and getting called out for being horny on main and sending and receiving asks has made this last month or so great.

Finally, for all the shit it gets, and for all the shit it pulls, [tumblr] really is pretty dope. I got to meet you all, and it’s actively making me a better person by exposing me to groups of people I’d rarely interact with in real life.

Why does it feel like I’m saying goodbye? I’m not, don’t worry. I plan to stay, and neither death nor pain shall drive me from this hellsite. I’m just saying thanks.

Now with the thanks out of the way, I want to talk about myself a little. Just the stuff that I’ve always wanted to say and never quite gathered my thoughts and found the time to talk about.

You’re gonna get to know me so well! This is like a mini autobiography!

First off, my mental health. This is something I don’t talk about much on this blog, mostly because it doesn’t need much talking about. I’m doing pretty well, to be honest. I have a smattering of anxiety and I’m maybe a little too introverted for my own good, but I’m not suffering from depression and the only time I ever even remotely considered suicide was when I just really really didn’t want to go to French class. COVID has been great for me, since I don’t have to see people. I suppose I’m not a great person to talk to if you’re struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, seeing as I can’t personally relate, but I’m still always here for you guys if you need me. Just because I haven’t lived through your experiences doesn’t mean I can’t try to help.

Next up I want to talk about my sexuality. This one’s a bit of a mystery. For the past 16 years of my life I’ve considered myself 100% straight. But lately (let’s be honest, following the release of Spirit Blossom Thresh) I’ve been wondering if I might be bi. How many times can I joke about wanting to smash sexy boys before it’s not really a joke anymore? And if I am, a lot of things would suddenly make a lot of sense. But every time I think I have it figured out it suddenly feels like I have no clue what’s going on. Regardless, my sexuality has honestly never been a massive part of my identity (though I’m definitely not asexual, my friends can attest I’m far too horny for that). I have no clue if I’m bi and for now it’s kind of a fun little adventure!

I guess I’ll talk about school and stuff now. Believe it or not, I’m kinda smart. I’m taking a shitton of AP courses this year. But I simultaneously feel like it’s too much and not enough. I’m smart, but I’m not a great student. Compared to my dad, who graduated college with a 3.98 GPA (and his only B being in History of Canada as an American) and now has a super well-paying government STEM job that he loves, I feel like even if I work my ass off I’ll never quite measure up. And my parents have had super high expectations of me, and it’s only recently that they’ve started to accept that I might get some B’s here and there. I’m worried about all the homework this year. I’m a year ahead in Math but I don’t feel good enough at math to be taking AP calculus junior year. I’m worried I’m going to get like a C. But for the most part school is alright, too. That’s sort of the trend in my life. Everything’s alright.

Time to talk about my love life! I have no love life! I’ve been single for 17 years and probably stand no chance of changing that until at least college! Haha I’m so alone! But I can live with it. Growing up an only child with a few friends means that I’m pretty good at functioning without a ton of social interaction, and, while I’d like a partner someday, I’m not desperate. I can wait until I find someone. Pretty much my goal is not to die alone.

Onto sports maybe? I played soccer for most of my life, and was always the worst player on the select team. I was too good for the normal team and not good enough for the select team (kinda like math). Soccer was really toxic, especially when you’re the worst player on a team of high school jock drug addict boys. So I quit, and started playing frisbee! It’s a lot better. The people are nicer! But my first season never happened because of COVID and now I’m in my Junior year and haven’t played much frisbee! So I kinda suck! But I’m physically fit and that’s good enough for me! On my own time I bike and run to stay in shape.

Are you still with me? Now I’m gonna talk about my hobbies and things!

I’ve been playing video games for a long time. I kinda suck at them to be totally honest. I probably have below-average reaction time, and my parents only let me play 15 minutes a day for most of my childhood, so I have a lot less practice than most of my friends. I’m pretty slick with Swain in LoL tho.

This next part is borderline shameless self-promotion, but since the Kickstarter isn’t live yet I guess it doesn’t count. I’m making a tabletop role playing game! I’ve been working on it for the past few years. My goal is to launch the Kickstarter prior to my college applications, because that’ll look sexy as fuck to potential colleges. It’s a post-apocalyptic sci-fi game where you play as supersoldiers trying to reconquer the wastelands of Earth for humanity. I’ll do a big post on it when I launch the Kickstarter, and I guess that’ll also be a full name reveal (kinda spooky since my full name is ENTIRELY unique and one-of-a-kind. More ego boost lmao).

And finally I want to talk about my art and writing. I’ll start with my drawing, and finish off with my writing, since that’s what I’d most like to be known for on here (but that’ll never happen because my caveman brain shitposts are too funny).

So I’ve been doodling for a long time. I briefly got formal art training but sacrificing my Saturday mornings to draw what someone else wanted me to make so that I could make better stuff in the future didn’t appeal to my 8-year-old brain. I draw in the margins of worksheets. I draw on random sheets of paper. Recently my parents bought me a drawing tablet, and I’ve been trying to improve at digital art. I’d say I’m getting better, but I don’t practice nearly enough. All in all my art serves its purpose. It makes people laugh and can sometimes creep people out. It’ll never go in a museum, and I’ll never make money off of it but whatever.

And finally, my writing.

How can I talk about writing without talking about reading? I’ve likely read more books than both my parents combined, and if not, it’s close (and my mom is a prolific reader too). I have three bookshelves in my room and books on every surface. You can’t follow me for long without seeing a post ranting about my latest read. I love to read and I read incredibly fast. Reading spurred my love of English class, which in turn helped me write.

And finally, we get to writing in and of itself. I’ve been writing stories since I was a little kid. I’d like to think I’ve improved a fair bit. I’m still no novelist, but I consider myself a fairly adept short story writer.

But I suppose where my writing really stems from is my bed. Every night while I’m lying in bed, I tell myself stories until I fall asleep. I work on a story until it’s done or until I get bored of it. Along the way, in the shower, on my bike, I build the world of the story, crafting the plot. Sometimes the stories are elaborate fanfictions of my latest reads. That’s probably how they started. Often, they’re unique worlds all of their own. My current writing posts are about the City of Mammon, but my current story in my head is about some vampires who hunt other vampires in Victorian England.

And now we get into the process of writing. It’s fun! I sit myself down with an idea in my head, and use all the fancy words I picked up from my books to convey the vibes I want. I honestly wouldn’t be a great writing teacher. It’s just a skill that comes naturally to me as a result of what I’ve been doing with my free time my whole life. And it’s beautiful. And every time someone compliments my writing or reblogs it, I love writing just a little bit more.

Well I guess this is it. The 100 follower special. I wonder how many of you guys will take the time out of your day to read this. Hopefully a lot!

James (or That House) signing off for the night!

<3 thanks guys

[deliriumsetin]

So here’s the thing...

I’m really freaking hard to scare. Unlike my cat that just booked it into another room when our UPS guy dropped a package off at the door. Perfect timing, Percy. Perfect timing...

Anyways! I have NOT had a good scare in probably two decades. No matter what fiction I pick up that promises to chill and thrill me, neither happens.

Now keep this in mind.

As of right now I am launching a business and yes, this will tie into the weird opener. Be patient, please.

I am launching Vox et Liber, a publishing house for ALL kinds of stories and ALL kinds of voices. I started working on this in November 2019, what do you mean that was only 8 months ago?! I originally thought the publishing house up after learning a bunch of facts about the publishing world over the summer.

VeL publishing will be a new kind of publishing and I can say that with 100% confidence because I am building this beast from the ground up, with the help of @hazandlouwho​, my fiance, and a few other amazing people!

Because this business is getting started independently, which means no investors, we are working with a VERY small amount of cash reserved for start up. Initially all works will be published digitally. We do plan on launching a Kickstarter in September/October to get enough funds to keep this going and to do it right which means getting stories published physically and sold to both indie bookstores and Barnes and Noble. Please be on the look out for that.

If any awesome people want to donate to help us not break my own personal bank, which will be easy to do since Covid-19 forced me to quit my job working with the public because I’m high risk and unemployment has kept me in limbo for going on 3 weeks, you can tip us on Ko-Fi by clicking here. ALL donations and funds raised go towards launching VeL and all projects under the VeL umbrella.

Bringing it around to the scares. VeL is launching our first project and we need all you awesome writers’ help. As of today we are opening submissions for our first ever anthology, Graveyard Visits. It’s horror with the theme of marginalized voices written as Own Voice fiction. Meaning stories written by marginalized groups with their marginalized groups as main characters.

Submissions are going to be open from July 1st until August 12th 11:59pm EST. Stories are expected to be between 2.5k-5k words in length. We will be paying $.02 per word as well as giving you a digital copy of the anthology. Submission Guidelines can be found here.

Now the whole me being hard to scare; I want to be scared. Submit your best, your scariest, and most bone-chilling stories.

Also, not so subtly gonna add a nudge to @thebibliosphere​ because I feel like she might have something up her sleeve. If not for this anthology then definitely our erotica one that will be announced later this summer.

We also have a podcast series in the works but I will do another post on that once I or my awesome soon to be brother in law (that’s STILL weird) have a moment to do up some graphics.

Click below for my rant on why traditional publishing right now is a soul sucking leech on EVERYONE.

On average with hardcover books an author is lucky to make $1.50 off each one sold and that’s only AFTER they sell enough to cover their advance. I also found out the average advance is like 3k per book. Some (not including the wicked big names who get a shit ton more) can get as high as 5k but others can get as low as a 1k. An author is lucky to see that twice a year (selling 2 books) because they have to spend time MARKETING book 1 instead of writing book 2. 

Keep in mind fiction hardcovers are generally sold between 19.99 (usually YA) or 29.99 (usually adult). Wicked big difference, huh? I get there’s a lot that goes into making a book, trust me I do but the split between should leave the authors getting around $4 per copy instead of less than $2. That $2.50 is just extra that the publishing house takes because it can.

Then there are the mass paperbacks which an author gets paid 50 damn cents per copy. Yes, those books retail for anywhere between 7.99 and 14.99 per book and sell way faster than hardcovers. Take it from an ex-bookseller.

Most books take on average 500 to 1,000 hours of work put into them before they even get handed off to the publisher for the FIRST time. At minimum that author sees an hourly return wage of $6 which is BELOW the United fucking States shit-tastic minimum peasant wage. We devalue the arts so fucking much- arg! But that can be a separate rant for another day.

Then after doing more research I realized just how off balanced the publishing world STILL is in the year of hell 2020. Don’t believe me click the link. Sarah Park Dahlen did a great article with a great graphic on it. 

As of 2015, yes I’m paraphrasing to continue to rant, children’s books had ALMOST more books about anthropomorphic cars, household items, and animals than there were books about Black kids, Asian Pacific kids, Latinx kids, or Native American/First Nation kids combined. Talking teakettles and their kindred got a whopping 12.5% while if you add up all the groups above you get 14.2%. None on there own beat out the freaking Easter Bunny! Of course books about White kids are the highest at 73.3%. Yes, this was as of 2015 but as an avid reader who reads middle-grade and up books for fun I can tell you nothing much has changed. Books about black kids maybe SLIGHTLY higher since the BLM movement (fuck yes progress!!) but I’d be heartstoppingly shocked if they beat out talking fucking trucks.

And that’s just race. From what I gathered with all the publishing houses less than 100 books with LGBTQIAP+ main characters are published each year. Wtf? And among that as of 2015 55% percent are about cisgendered males and 31% are cisgendered females. (Thank you @malindalo​, you are awesome and I’ve enjoyed meeting you at the Boston Teen Author festival the last few years.) So, just focusing on those 2 first letters, huh? I want to read a story about a kickass transwoman that has to deal with transitioning WHILE demons have torn their way out of hell. That would be badass! Holy shit, someone trans write that!

Same goes for people that live with disabilities whether they are physical or mental, including mental illness and neurodivergents like myself. If you haven’t figured out by this rant just how ADHD I am than you might need an ADHD in your life. My brain works differently and I would have killed growing up to read about characters that have to deal with what I deal with. We have Percy Jackson now and his all ‘verse but it’s not enough and it wasn’t published until I was on my way to college.

All that aside we now have all the bs coming out about what’s been going on in traditional publishing. About all the dickweeds that have been using their power and pull to sexually harass new authors, most often the new authors are young women. I unfollowed people and canceled a pre-order because fuck that shit! Also, I don’t give a fuck how big a name someone is if the hate they spew makes all their trans fans collectively feel like shit for not believing the simple fact that transwomen are women then they deserve to get dropped like the bag of shit they are. TERFs can fuck right off. 

All the publishing bs has made me more determined to get VeL off the ground because no, no, no. We’ll have none of that. All the listed above reasons can go play in traffic. We will be paying our authors better and taking care of them from day 1. We will be making sure our catalog is so damn diverse that you’d have to be looking at the wrong website to not find a story that you can’t see yourself in and lastly, if we hear of any of our authors pulling a Myke Cole or a Sam Sykes than they are dropped. It is in the best interests of our authors futures that they aren’t shitbags. /end rant

If y’all have any questions about anything of this, I think my dms are open or if I’m wrong just tag me. My days lately have been chained to my shit dell computer with one or both cats pinning me to the couch. I finish this up as Percy settles in on my legs. Also, thunderstorm is starting up and both are sleeping through it? If only I could be so lucky when the fiance and I have kids...

[bathedinobscurity]

//OH BOY. 2020.

It’s been a year, hasn’t it y’all? I know for most of us it hasn’t been a good one by a longshot, including myself. Most of us have been on lockdown since March or April, some more so than others. And of course there’s all the other things that happened in 2020 that I can’t even begin to list here.

But ignoring all of that for a moment, a few big things have happened to / with me this year. And I figured I might talk a bit about those. Under the cut because it’s long [in hindsight, it’s REALLY long hsddfkjfkjf] and goes into some personal stuff not everybody is gonna want to read.

I wouldn’t call it a vent exactly, but both negative and positive stuff is talked about in this in a lot more detail than I’ve gone into otherwise, so beware of that.

Of course, the first big change was me choosing to archive @alchemyready​ and move here. I think it was the right choice, because I really was losing muse for Varian, and honestly... Tangled the Series was my life for an entire year, but I was getting burnt out. I needed a change.

Funnily enough, when I switched blogs, I never even predicted that Infinity Train was gonna take over my life. I had fallen headfirst back into one of my first three main fandoms- the RPG horror game Ib. That lasted for all of about a month before I caved and finished Infinity Train.

I’m super happy I got into Infinity Train, even if I really wasn’t ready to switch main fandoms when I did. I’m still really hoping it’ll get renewed soon. I have a lot of hope for a book four, but not so much for books five-eight. But you know what? We’ll see. Maybe HBO will surprise us.

Then there’s the second thing, which has less to do with the blog and more to do with me. I finally hit the milestone I’ve been waiting to hit for the last two years- I turned eighteen. That happened back in September.

I didn’t post about this a whole lot, but I was having a lot of problems with my mom prior to that. She’s been one of those parents that’s over-paranoid about the dangers of the internet, and she didn’t know I was on social media until late 2018 when she forced me to show her everything I was doing online.

Ever since then she was constantly threatening to make me give her all my login information so she could read what I was doing, which I did Not want to do, and I’ve been waiting for baited breath to be legally allowed to say no.

Now that I’ve passed that milestone, she’s stopped asking. I’m so thankful for that, ‘cause this year has been too stressful to deal with that on top of it.

The rest of the year has been kind of scattered ups and downs. I’ll be honest, my anxiety problems have gotten worse. I don’t talk about this a lot here either, but I’m nearly constantly dealing with that. I haven’t been formally diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, but I know I have at least one if not multiple.

I struggle with health anxiety and social anxiety, as well as some anxiety issues I’m not entirely sure what to call. I deal with intrusive thoughts and anxiety attacks, and tbh some of my frequent bouts of writer’s block have a lot to do with this problem.

The lockdown has been dragging me down quite a bit. I’m under more restrictions than I’d really like to be under because I have yet to learn how to drive, and my mom is determined to keep us totally locked down for the most part. I haven’t been to any public business since February, and it’s extremely draining.

But, I’ve also discovered some things through the pandemic. I joined a survey website that gives me points to redeem for digital gift cards once I do enough surveys, and I’ve been getting more of the arts and crafts supplies I’ve really been wanting to get through that.

My brother got me a $25.00 Amazon gift card for my birthday, and I suddenly realized I could order a lot of stuff through there, which is what I’ve been doing. I finally got a couple of sets of Ohuhu brush markers which I’ve really been wanting to use with my traditional art.

My art has improved in leaps and bounds since the beginning of the year. I didn’t realize it until I went and looked back at some of my Tangled the Series art from January-February in comparison tor recent OCs and Infinity Train stuff I’ve drawn, but I have gotten SO much better. It’s wild.

I discovered new YouTubers to watch that I’ve really been enjoying. ZeRoyalViking and ChilledChaos caught my attention via Among Us videos, and I’ve been watching a lot of them lately. Also, I finally remembered to actually SUBSCRIBE to Ethan (Crankgameplays) which I should have done a long time ago LOL.

The Christmas season was difficult because things were so different, but I still had fun. I managed to get my family (meaning my parents and brother) some better gifts through Amazon than I usually do, and they all seemed to be really happy with what I got for them.

I got an Infinity Train shirt which I swear I will take a picture of me wearing at some point or other. As well as more arts and (mostly) craft supplies that I’ve been wanting.

ANYWAYS. I’ve rambled enough, I think. Kudos to you if you actually read this far. I wish you a very happy New Year, and I pray that 2021 is a much, much better year for all of us. Here’s hoping for a miracle and Covid-19 leaves us much sooner than expected.

[legendarymasterwolf]

E3 2019: My Thoughts on What We Saw

Alright, E3 is over this year, which means it's time to go over what we saw and my thoughts on it.

This is late, so some stuff here will be out already.

I'll be going by publisher alphabetically, so first up, we have...

Borderlands 3

I'm so freaking hyped to get lost in this hilarious world again. I've played Mordecai in Borderlands 1, Zero in 2, and Claptrap in Presequel. Still trying to decide who to play as in 3, but right now, it's looking like I'll pick FL4K, since he specializes in long range and has a few cute beasties by his side. Also, we're getting not one, but THREE action skills with each character. Not only that, but you can sacrifice your grenade skill for two equipped skills.

The Children of the Vault look like some worthy successors to Handsome Jack for title of "Best Borderlands Villains", though we'll see how they pan out on release date.

The gameplay that we saw of Moze looks smooth. Heck, everything about this game looks sleek and refined without doing away with the art style. Also, guns with legs.

Anyway, we not only got the gameplay reveal, but also Commander Lilith and the Fight for Sanctuary, a new DLC for Borderlands 2 that sets up 3, so I'm scrambling to finish the Handsome Collection on my PS4, which just got a lot more difficult now that I've bought RDR2 finally, along with several other games.

Control

I loved Alan Wake, and this is from the same people, so I’m hyped. The game looks great, has a suspenseful atmosphere, and it seems to play well. I’m looking forward to release date.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Reboot

I haven't bought a COD game since "Black Ops 2", though I have played the newer ones with a friend of mine. It looks good visually from the reveal trailer I saw, I'll say that much. No gameplay yet, but I know it'll be gritty, focusing on some of the more shocking moments of the original trilogy, like "No Russian" from MW2 or the nuclear explosion from MW1, so it seems we're bringing in more edge to the series. Still, I'm glad the campaign is back, and I'm interested to see how it will look.

12 Minutes

A twelve minute time loop where you're forced to relive the death of your wife and the only way to break it is to find out why she was killed? Sign me up.

Code Vein

I remember this one from last E3. Still the same opinion, too. Anime style souls game that I might buy for the story, which looks interesting.

Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot

So this looks REALLY good. It's like a deep RPG, deeper than Xenoverse was, with mechanics besides fighting like fishing, and as for the fights themselves, they seem to be more strategical than before, with a healthy dose of classic DBZ fisticuffs in there for good measure.

Elden Ring

A Souls game written by George RR Martin? Don't know too much about it besides that, but it looks cool based on the trailer.

The Dark Pictures: Man of Medan

Basically, another Until Dawn, but on the open sea during a storm. And I'm totally okay with that.

Deathloop

Another game from Arkane? The guys who made Dishonored? I'll take it. Besides, another time loop premise sounds interesting.

Doom: Eternal

If Fallout 76 was any indication, Bethesda desperately needs a win now to restore faith in their studio. Besides a few of the other games announced at E3 2019 that could do so, there was one that stood out in particular: Doom Eternal. I’ve already played all the Wolfenstein games, with the exception of one upcoming entry on this list, and based on what I’ve seen of Eternal, I’m going to like it due to the similarity in gameplay.

GhostWire: Tokyo

The presentation on the new game from the makers of Evil Within, another series to try now that I have a PS4, was memorable for a few reasons. First off, Ikumi Nakamura, the game’s creative director, was the main presenter and she was adorable. Seriously, it’s probably one of the best E3 presentations I’ve seen this year. I can’t remember the last time I saw one so genuine like hers, plus it helps that the Internet has fallen in love. As for the game itself, it looks great, with people disappearing in Tokyo and it being up to some guy with a bow and supernatural powers to find out why. The reveal trailer was all we got, but still, I can’t wait to play it.

Wolfenstein: Youngblood

The first game I’ve ever preordered, and this comes from a guy who never preorders on principle. It’s a Wolfenstein spinoff with BJ’s twin daughters, so yeah, I’ll buy it. Plus, it’s co-op, so I’m playing this with my best friend. Still trying to decide which twin to play, though. Probably Jessie, since my friend is gonna want to play Soph.

Paranoia: Happiness is Mandatory

Looks interesting, plus the gameplay reminds me of Shadowrun Returns.

The Sinking City

This one’s already out, but it looks good. Hopefully, it’ll be received better than Call of Cthulu before it. Plus, I’m all for a game where the protagonist is losing his mind, like Dead Space.

Werewolf: The Apocalypse – Earthblood

Set in the World of Darkness universe, like Bloodlines, except you're a werewolf instead of a vampire and it's from a different studio. Gameplay was revealed behind closed doors, but it looks good from what I've heard. We don't have too many werewolf games around.

Cyberpunk 2077

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY!

Yeah, this might be the first game I preorder for myself, since now we finally have a release date: April 16th, 2020. The new trailer we got gave us a glimpse of a default male V as well as what may be Jackie’s death (please don’t kill off Jackie, CD Project RED, I like him too much already). After V’s employer tries to double cross him, V tries to kick ass with his twin arm blades, which look really unique, before said employer shoots him in the head. The trailer ended with a major surprise: as V comes to in a junkyard, a figure in jeans, a tank-top, and a silver left arm approaches, and kneels to reveal a face and voice that sounds suspiciously like Keanu Reeves.

Yes, that’s right, for those who haven’t heard by the time this is posted, Keanu Reeves is in Cyberpunk 2077 and he’s playing Johnny Silverhand, a legendary rocker in the world of 2077 who may not be what he seems.

After the trailer premiered onstage, Reeves came out onstage to promote the game. He could barely get through the start of his speech, people were that excited to see him in the flesh. There was even a great moment where he described the game as “breathtaking”, to which a fan shouted out, “You’re breathtaking!”, to which Keanu responded in kind. We don’t deserve this man.

Anyway, at the end of his speech, Reeves gave a new look at gameplay as well as the game’s release date. The glimpse was only about 20 seconds long, but still, the new look at the combat, hacking, and what is presumably a digital afterlife or something like that was enough to get me even more hyped for this game.

Seriously, I couldn’t be more hyped. This game is gonna be massive and I just might preorder it.

My Friend Pedro

Switch game, but still looks cool. It’s already out now.

Sea of Solitude

I need to play more games that make me feel like this. The art style looks gorgeous and the theme is depression, so yeah, I may buy this one if I like what I’m hearing.

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Honestly, EA's part of the the expo was kind of depressing, especially when it got to Anthem. However, we did get more of Jedi: Fallen Order, and for that, I'm grateful, because this game looks great. Both the combat and lightsaber look slick as does the gameplay in general, and the voice acting is on point, from Cameron Monaghan to Forest Whitaker. We need a good Star Wars game for current gen consoles, and while The Old Republic is still my favorite, that's for PC. Also, while it has been announced that there are no microtransactions in the game, I'm sure EA will find some way to screw it up, but for now, it looks awesome.

Greedfall

I’m interested. Story and premise have me, a mix of 17th century colonialism with horror and the supernatural. Gameplay looks like my kind of jam, and we may be getting romance options too, based on some trailer observations.

John Wick Hex

Gameplay seems unique, plus it’s John Wick. I will always take more of Keanu Reeves.

Grandia HD Collection

I like JRPGs like this one, though it’s for Switch, so I can’t play it.

Way to the Woods

Looks like a cute adventure puzzle game. I might get it for PC.

Wasteland 3

This series looks like tactical Fallout, so yeah, I’m likely to give this one a shot since it looks good.

Blair Witch

A Blair Witch video game? That’s psychological horror?! With an adorable dog companion named Bullet?!?! Yes, please.

We didn’t get much besides a trailer and some gameplay, but I’m eager to see more.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Sequel

Ugh, why is it that last year I was complaining about not having a PS4, now this year I’m complaining about not having a Switch?!

Anyway, this looks great and I want to see more. Especially since I’ve heard it’s going to be scarier than Majora’s Mask.

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening

Looks good on the graphics front, plus the gameplay additions looks promising.

And once again, I can’t play it.

Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order

Out of all the games on this list, this is the one I want to play most that I can’t play because, you guessed it, I don’t have a Switch.

I loved the original Ultimate Alliance games, so I’m sure the new one is gonna be a hit, what with the new combos, character designs, and references to the MCU, plus it’ll tie us over until Marvel’s Avengers.

Pokemon Sword and Shield

The Pokemon look cute, it is set in the world’s version of the UK, gameplay looks improved, and once again, I can’t play it.

Empire of Sin

It looks cool, plus I need more Mob style games to play. It’s also made by the people who are responsible for the next game on this list...

Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines 2

It’s only in pre-alpha, but still, this one looks good. The original is on the Steam store, and there are fan made patches that improved upon what was originally a disaster. The sequel looks like a smoother version of its predecessor, with a few new abilities and mechanics put in. Again, it's in pre-alpha, so the final product will look much cleaner, but for now, I'm excited for its release date.

Shenmue III

First off, I’m royally pissed that Epic stole this one. That being said, the game looks great and I’m looking forward to continuing Ryo’s story on PS4. The gameplay looks great, the atmosphere is enthralling, and the English dub sounds good this time around. Still pissed about Epic, but at least I can play it on PS4.

The Outer Worlds

This still looks great. Since Fallout 76 took a nosedive and kept on going, we need a game like this to get that bitter taste out of our mouths. This still looks like a cross between Fallout and Borderlands, the true New Vegas spiritual successor that we need right now. The companions actually look helpful, have personalities of their own, and the Flaws System sounds really interesting, giving your hero a perk in enchange for a debuff for the whole game. Also the humor is great, too.

Marvel’s Avengers

Yes, the character designs don’t look so hot. However, those can be changed on the road to launch. That aside, I liked what I saw. The gameplay looks great, the voice cast has some top tier talent for the industry, and the promise of more heroes to be added after launch without the attached microtransactions has my attention.

Dying Light 2

I only played the demo for the first one, a game I still need to play, but I liked it enough to want a sequel. The usual free running mechanics look smooth, plus the addition of player choice shakes up the game, making your playthrough unique, so yeah, more of the good old stuff with a few new things sprinkled in.

Final Fantasy VII Remake and Remasters

The remake of FF7 looks AMAZING. The hybrid combat system looks like a dream, plus the character designs look top notch. In addition, the voice cast sounds on point for their respective characters. The hype around this thing was evident from the incessant cheering, we want it that much. We even have a release date: March 3rd, 2020. It’s been a long time coming, but it seems the wait to experience this classic for the second time on a different system will have finally been worth it.

Also, there was content announced for FF14 as well as two remasters: Crystal Chronicles and FF8.

Bet your ass I’m buying the remaster for FF8.

Biomutant

This has been described as Fluffy Devil May Cry. It’s accurate. I didn’t know you’d be able to customize your character, to! Combat looks fun, and it appears there is humor present if the narrator is anything to go by, so I’m interested.

Destroy All Humans! Remake

I never played the original, but I did read about it and hear about it from a friend. From what I’ve seen, the remake looks fun! Good parody of the 1950s and the updated graphics look great. Plus, Krypto seems like a fun, grumpy protagonist.

Gods and Monsters

This looks like a cross between Assassin’s Creed Odyssey and Legend of Zelda. Considering it’s being made by the same creators of the former, I can’t wait to see more of this in the future.

Ghost Recon: Breakpoint

I’ll be honest, I still haven’t played any Ghost Recon games, so maybe here would be a good place to start. Gotta say, I like the way Jon Bernthal presented. He just seemed at ease onstage. Plus, Bernthal’s dog looks adorable. Bam Bam is the real hero of the Ubisoft press conference.

Anyway, it seems Bernthal is playing Cole D. Walker, one of the antagonists of the game. Didn’t see any gameplay, but still, the game looks good. I need to play more tactical shooters in general.

Watch Dogs: Legion

I played the first Watch Dogs game. Thought it was cool, but overall it was a bit disappointing. I still need to play the second one, but I heard it was a major improvement, even if it wasn’t a financial hit. Still, this one put a smile on my face. The ability to recruit and play as anyone? A sarcastic AI as your companion? A grandma assassin? I will take all of it, thank you.

Also, grandma assassin.

Did I mention there was a grandma assassin?

Can’t wait for March 6th.

LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga

The LEGO Star Wars games were some of the first games I ever owned back when I played on the PS2, so I’m hyped for a collection of all 9 films in one game. We don’t know much beyond the announcement trailer, but hey, I’ll gladly take this one when it comes out next year.

Baldur’s Gate III

A video game that plays like a DND game? I can’t wait. Haven’t played the other games, but I’m sure I’ll be fine once I play that tabletop prequel they mentioned.

Battletoads

It’s an Xbox and PC exclusive, but still, glad this is getting a remake.

Bleeding Edge

This looks like an Overwatch reskin. The combat itself looks unique, though, so we’ll see how it goes.

Gears 5

We got a little more on Gears 5 this time around. We’ve got a look at Kait and how the Locust influence is threatening to tear her apart (that’s what I’m assuming, I’ve never played the Gears games). We also got a new mode, Escape. I might get it, since it’ll be available for PC.

Halo Infinite

If this is what Xbox Scarlett looks like, then Sony might have actual competition for once. This is the best the Halo series has looked in years, and considering how let down some felt after Halo 5, it’s about time. We’re getting the same badass Master Chief back, this time with no AI companion, as Cortana has suffered corruption due to being around for longer than normal and has gone psycho as a result. Regardless, the graphics look amazing and I can’t wait to see how it looks when it releases Holiday 2020.

Ori and the Will of the Wisps

I never played the original, but I might have to now, because this looks cute. The art style looks great and I’ll always be interested in games where you fight things ten times your own size. Plus, it seems to run smooth, and just by the sound of the story, it already has my heart.

Psychonauts 2

To cap things off, let’s end with a game I’ve been excited for since I finished the original months ago. The game seems to be coming along great, if the first level is anything to go by. Returning voice cast, new enemies and powers, new environments to explore, Jack Black voicing a Brain in a Jar, need I say more?

Also, this game looks to explore the water curse put on Rasputin’s family, so it will be a more personal and chilling story as well.

________________

So, there you have it. That’s my thoughts on E3 2019, half a month late.

What are you guys excited for? Leave a comment letting me know, especially if there was something I left out!

Until then!

[mysticsparklewings]

I will be with You

When you go, just know that I will remember you If living was the hardest part, we'll then one day be together And in the end we'll fall apart, just as the leaves change in color And then I will be with you, I will be there one last time now --My Chemical Romance, "It's Not a Fashion Statement, it's a Deathwish" ____ It's rare that I'm this proud of an artwork I've created. ^_^ Usually, there's some glaring issue or just an assortment of small things I'd still change if I had the patience and/or artistic ability to do it. Or even just some things that I feel like could've been done better, even if I know it did the best I could. This time? No. Not right now, shortly after it's been completed, anyway. I'm sure years down the line from now I'll look back and feel at least slightly different. But as it stands now, while I'm sure it has its faults, I am truly happy and truly proud of what I've created here and whatever faults are there aren't bothering me at all. So what then is this, exactly? This my dear Sparklers is a visual love letter to the band I discovered just a little too late but was still there for me when no one else was all the same. Earlier this month, I uploaded a different piece of art to celebrate the announcement of My Chemical Romance's Return, but even when I uploaded that one I was already thinking of doing another one, this time something that was more obviously fan art. But not just fan art as I've done for them in the past (Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C), but something extra-special and fun. I really did go into creating this wanting it to be as I described it above; a visual love letter to this band that I love so much and could not be happier that they're back. As such, I've squeezed in as many references as I could: 1. The female figure is molded after Helena from the album Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge 2. The male/skeleton figure is supposed to be Pepe (that's what Google said his name was, anyway), the icon and seemingly marching band conductor from The Black Parade album 3. On Pepe's hat, I replaced the usual symbol with the Candle symbol that's been featured in the band's Return artwork 4. They fade into leaves based on the line from It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Deathwish (a song from Three Cheers) that I quoted at the top of the description 5. behind them is Party Poison's mask, as featured in the Danger Days music videos 6. on the mask, I replaced one of the black triangle shapes with the hanging man silhouette from I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love 7. The rest of the background is inspired by the covers for the Conventional Weapons releases (which in my mind I count as essentially an unofficial fifth album) (Debatable) 8. Their touching hands could be an indirect reference to the line "And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down" from Demolition Lovers, a song from Bullets. That's at least one reference each (Three Cheers technically got two) for each of the main releases, plus one directly related to this new era we don't know much about yet. It's not an exhaustive "spot the reference" game, but I'm glad I was able to incorporate as many as I did. Now that I've explained them, maybe I can talk about my process without having to stop to re-explain each reference as they come up.   After some brainstorming, I got this image in my head of Helena and Pepe in this pose (inspired at least partially by this pre-existing fanart I've seen many times before) , which to me is a "renaissance dancing" pose but I'm sure there's some other better way to describe it I haven't thought of. I tried for a very long time to find a reference image of this exact pose to help me get the proportions and general anatomy right within my own stylization, but for the life of me, I couldn't find anything close enough to suit me and I really didn't want to have to settle for something else. As such, I'm sure the proportions and anatomy are off, but even so, I think I did pretty good considering. The main issues I ran into during sketching were mainly balancing the energy between the two characters--which I do think I managed in the end--Helena's skirt, as she's supposed to be holding onto it with that hand you can't see, and Pepe's torso. Originally, I was planning on doing this piece traditionally, but once the sketch was finished it almost immediately clicked into place that I'd be better served to do it digitally, considering what I wanted to do with the mask in the background already, as well as the leaf-fade. (The Conventional Weapons reference hadn't been planned yet, and it was technically only made possible later on by this piece being digital.) Luckily, doing things digitally meant that Pepe's torso was fixed pretty easily. It was too thin in the sketch, but all I had to do was select the right lines and move them out a bit in Photoshop. He's still a bit thin and not super buff, but personally I'm letting that go because...I mean, he's at least part if not all skeleton. If anyone's going to be too thin, wouldn't it make sense that it's him? Helena's skirt I did end up happy within the sketch but...we'll come back to the skirt in a moment. Pepe's...face? looked a bit odd in the sketch, but other than that, once I was happy with that foundation, I scanned it in and got to work on digitizing everything. I went over my lines for Helena and Pepe the way I normally would for something like this if a little intentionally messy instead of trying to get them super clean--as I thought that might be appropriate here--and then I paused with them to work on the mask behind them. The mask admittedly came out very poorly in the sketch, just because I bothered to look up no references for it whatsoever once I decided I was going to make this digital and I knew I could just draw half of it and flip it over. And I'm glad I didn't start trying to follow my sketch lines for it at all because looking up actual references showed me that would've been way off. While I had my reference up, I ended up going in and basically full-coloring and detailing the mask right then. That's the beauty of digital work; a lot of steps can be done basically out of order from how you'd have to do them traditionally and it doesn't matter because you can just move layers around and adjust effects later. I went with this pseudo-soft shading based on the colors and shadows I was seeing in my references, even though I wasn't sure yet exactly how I was going to shade Helena and Pepe. I figured that even if I used a different method for them that I could either go back and adjust the mask as necessary or that it wouldn't matter since the mask was part of the background anyway. Once that was done, I went back to ponder my two figures and the leaf effect that I wanted to do with them. And again, I went a little out of order here, as I ended up filling in the silhouette of Helena and Pepe with a blanket layer of gray so I could see how them blocking the mask was going to look (and I figured based on past experiences I might need the blanket layer in white later). From there, I went into working on the fading-to-leaves effect. My logic was that I'd need mostly the silhouettes of the leaves and then I'd get what I wanted after playing with layer effects or something. This assumption ended up being correct, but we're not there yet. As I worked, I kept looking at my "finished" messy lines. Something just didn't feel right. Honestly, I couldn't tell you where the idea to do this lineless look came from, but it got in my head as I was working and I kept looking at the lines I had and not being happy to just color those in as I normally would, shade it, and call it a day. I tried. I tried really hard to ignore the urge to at least try it and carry on as I was. I'd already come this far, and I'd be done so much faster if I stuck to the plan...But!! Clearly I lost that argument with myself. You know what though? I'm glad I did! I don't think I've ever done lineless art like this before, not counting my watercolor work where that's just part of the process to me. But digital? Certainly not. Human figures? Also no. I've come close in the sense that I've shaded my art before, turned off the line layers before, and thought, "oh hey that almost works without the lines because of the shading,"  but not much farther than that. Naturally, I wasn't even sure how or where to begin, so I went with what came naturally to me. I started by just filling in the lines as I normally would have, and then I went back layer by layer and went back and forth between having the line layer (with the opacity brought down somewhat already so I could sort of see what I was doing) on and off to try and balance the shapes between what they looked like with and without the lines. It's weird because if you ever try this, it's a little like having to figure out a bunch of individual silhouettes that make one whole one, except you need them to be a little more defined if you want them to make visual sense. That step and the next one, the shading, are tied in my mind for which one took me the longest. For the shading, I really just went in blind, using hard-edge cell shading, though originally I planning to come back with some soft shading in certain areas later. The soft shading ended up not happening partly because I liked it much better than I thought I would without it, and I thought the hard-edge shading made the figures pop a little more compared to the background. The thing about this was the same issue I run into with my lines nowadays; to get smooth shapes I spend a while going back and forth between putting color down and erasing it, and sometimes undoing and redoing the same line a dozen times to get it right in one stroke. But that's really my own fault for being stubborn and trying to work solely within Photoshop and not use other programs, as I know good and well I'd have less of that issue if I'd hop into Paint Tool Sai and use the linework layers in there. What can I say? I live up to my Capricorn sign by being as stubborn as a goat. Anyway. The biggest challenge to figure out the shading for was Helena's skirt. I think I would've still had issues with that though even if I colored and shaded my normal way, with the lines and everything. It's just the position it's in that complicates things. I actually did a good amount of shading in reverse here, where I'd make the base layer the shadow color and then the layer on top would be the regular color, as in some cases it just seemed easier to do that than the other way around. The part of Helena's dress around the top, for example. Or Pepe's pants (what little you can see of them). Additionally, I ended up leaving the feather attached to Pepe's hat alone and not really smoothing it out, as I thought the roughness and inconsistencies worked really well to make it seem more feathery. With enough patience and persistence and much back and forth among the various layers, I made it through all of that. I was a little concerned at first about some of my color choices and if the shading was too harsh in some places or not, but I mellowed out as I worked and ended up not making make adjustments after the fact. For instance, originally I thought I'd go back and make Pepe's...skin? closer to a true white and this fleshy off-white color was more of a placeholder, but the longer I worked with it, the more I didn't want to change it. It actually makes sense, given that his hands are normal (as they are presented in official artwork and other fan art not made by me) and that bones usually are naturally more of an off-white color. And I also think it just looks really good next to Helena's pale skin. The hands were a special challenge in regards to both shading and coloring, as hands like to be the more complicated part of a drawing more often than not, but even that I managed to get through with a lot more ease than I would've bet on. The other thing about that is that I was surprised once I got through the steps at how much better Pepe's face looked in comparison to the rest of the drawing. As I mentioned before, it looked odd in the sketch. But one I had most of the colors for him and Helena filled in digitally, the contrast or something just made it look infinitely better. (Combined with a hefty dose of earlier back-and-forth making adjustments to his jawbone area.) Originally, I thought I might use the same cell shading for Helena's eyeshadow. However, while I was still thinking of adding some selective soft shading, I added it using one of the brushes I'd used on the mask earlier. It looked so good to me that even after I tried added the soft shading with it like I planned and decided I didn't want/need it anywhere else, I kept it. And for the record, Helena's hair is kind of the wrong texture (it's officially more straight than this) and she's missing this little netted veil thing she's supposed to have, but I had a very specific vision in mind, so those were the two creative liberties I took with her design. I say it's fair game since I took a liberty with Pepe's hat to get the Return reference in. And besides, those two details being off doesn't make her totally unrecognizable if you know who Helena is in the first place. Once they were done, I spent longer than I bothered to document playing with the leaf layer I'd made earlier to try and figure out how to get the effect I wanted. Sparing you the boring details of my trial error, as I'm sure this description will be long enough without them, I eventually determined the best thing to do was to have one layer of the leaves on top set as an "overlay" layer, and another behind/beneath Helena and Pepe. Then I went back and extended my color and shading layers to extend down over the leaves, and I arranged and clipped the layers accordingly. Technically, the overlay layer wasn't necessary, but it added a little extra dimension that I really liked. By that point, it was my second day of working digitally and getting late, but I had to do one more thing before I could go to bed with my mind at ease that night. With Helena and Pepe done, I turned the mask back on (I'd turned it off so I could focus on them without it distracting me or otherwise getting in the way) and I felt like they weren't standing out enough against it. The bright yellow color was competing too much for my eyes' attention. So, after trying the "stroke" blending option in white and that looking God-awful, I added a new layer between them and the mask and manually gave them a white outline. It wasn't a perfect solution, and I knew that even then, but it was enough that I could sleep soundly knowing how far I'd gotten with the artwork. The next day I had to take a break from working on this to bust out a painting for the challenge I decided to take on this month, but I went back to this as soon as I could after that was taken care of. When I came back to it, I acknowledged that I technically could've left it as it was and call it finished. But I still didn't like how obnoxious the mask seemed for a background piece and it felt...I don't know. Almost hollow, in a way. It was a cool graphic, sure, but I wanting something more than that. Again, I'll spare you most of the nitty-gritty details. But long story short, I played around with layer effects and filters for a while until I had blurred the mask out just enough that it wasn't so obnoxious but also so looking at it directly didn't make me nauseous, and the edges were softened so it felt more like a true background piece and not just an accessory that had been plastered carelessly back there. It was only after I started saving off versions with different backgrounds--one with no background, one with white, one with black--that I realized I was missing a golden (semi pun intended) opportunity to incorporate a Conventional Weapons reference/allusion. Which was exciting because I'd previously been disappointed that I couldn't think of a good way to do that. I went back and forth on layer styles and adding texture with brushes and things for a while on that too, but you can see what I ultimately settled on. It's not a 1:1 to the CW covers, but I'm really pleased with it anyway. I did end up adding a bit more to the white outline in a few places and adding a drop shadow to Helena and Pepe so they'd pop a bit more (it almost makes them look like paper cutouts to me!), but really the only other thing I had to do after that was add my watermark. It took roughly 3 days of work from start to finish, but I was honestly surprised by how fairly smooth the process went. Especially considering the new things I'd tried along the way. I can only assume it's because of just how much my heart was really into making this piece. As I said before, I am truly proud of how this piece turned out. I love it. I love it, and I love the band that inspired its creation. Even the title says a lot here, I think. I picked this line that's repeated at the end of It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Deathwish, as it was a leading inspiration with the leaves and everything, and after looking at the lyrics I realized how fitting that line is for this. I discovered My Chemical Romance two years too late, two years after they broke up in 2013, but I've stuck by them ever since, and I will continue to do so, with whatever the unwritten future holds. They've changed, as anyone would over the course of six years, but they came back anyway. Even if it's just for a few shows and they're gone again. Or if it's going to be so much more than that. They. Came. Back. And that's not an easy thing to do a lot of the time. And so, I show my solidarity. I will be with you, MCR, no matter what comes next. You were there for me, and now it's my turn to be there for you, even if it as just another fan among the crowd. And that's really all I have to say on the matter. ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[faemoria-arch]

to actually enter the giveaway  ,  go here  ! this post is very image heavy  !

what up pumpkaboos  !  i wanted to spell out details for the giveaway since there’s quite a lot of information to consider with all the different types of stuff being offered  .  plus i haven’t been super active on this blog lately so people might not really know what to expect from my art or graphics or what have you  ! first i want to emphasize again that the ‘ add a bit of positivity ’ requirement for entering is not something i will judge for length or  ‘ quality ’ anything of that sort  !  it’s just meant to spread some good vibes around  ,  since sometimes even a small message can really brighten someone’s day  .  so please do not feel pressured to write anything extravagant unless you feel like it  !

also in regards to having followed this blog  &&  all that  ,  if sideblogs are involved i can  usually  piece things together but feel free to let me know just in case  . okay now  ,  onto the bundles info  !

-  fairies  ,  by yoshitaka amano is an 80 page art book featuring various forms of the faefolk  .  you can check it out here  !  i will be placing my order at the beginning of april  &&  handling shipping to wherever you would like it mailed  .

- here’s an example of what to expect from your portrait painting  .  it will be provided as a PNG format for personal use only  .  i’m happy to paint any fictional character but at least some visual reference is necessary  &&  note that live action will be stylized into Is That Anime?™

-  &&  here’s an example of what to expect from your gif graphic  .  any character is fine but i must have some manner of existing material to work with  ,  even if it’s only a face claim  .

if you’re wondering what these games have to do with toothiana  ,  it’s because they’re two of the most fleshed out AUs on my blog lol  . -  iceborne master edition comes with monster hunter world  &&  the expansion  .  i can gift this to you through steam  ,  or order you a physical copy for ps4 or xbox one at the beginning of april  .

- kingdom hearts all-in-one edition includes all of the games  &&  cinematics included in 1.5  &&  2.5  ,   as well as kingdom hearts 3  .  it does not include the Re : Mind DLC  .  i can only offer the ps4  ,  physical edition as it does not exist on other systems  &&  is far more expensive as a digital package  .  it will be ordered at the beginning of april  . - i don’t have an exact example of what you can expect from me adapting your muse into the style of either of those universes  ,  but the polish will be something along the lines of this  ,  provided in PNG format for personal use  :

- the promo graphic can be animated or static  &&  can be formatted as primarily two horizontal banners or four vertical ones ( which naturally only look right in a photoset as seen here  )  .  they require appropriate material of the character for me to work with  .

- ask banners can be mildly animated or static (  it is simply not a great idea to have them be too flashy  )  .  a matching divider is simply something i personally like to use on my own blogs so i figured i’d include one just in case  .

- i like to make weird gimmicky ,  custom icon PSDs  .   &&  i put a lot of work  making  them in such a way that the hopeful payoff is to require  minimal  work in the long run  ,  taking into account different source materials available  &&  all that jazz  .  which means the PSD will probably seem really complicated  ,  but ideally easy to actually use (  &&  i’ll walk you through it to start with  )  .

- the sticker will be custom drawn  &&  designed by me  (  for an aprox .  3 x 4 print  )  ,  uploaded through redbubble  &&  then i will purchase a single copy to ship your way  !  it will be my first time working that process  ,  but i have affirmations from other artists who have used this method to make themselves single print stickers / mugs / etc . that it should go smoothly  . the art itself will also be provided to you as a PNG format for your personal use  .  if you ever need to replace the sticker or want additional copies to give away or something of the sort  ,  i can provide more at whatever the base cost of production / shipping is  . i do not have an existing example to provide  ,  but you can expect the art style to be something like a cut out version of this jirachi  .  your character will likely be simplified / ‘ chibified ’  &&  the art will emphasize bold shapes over details to make sure it translates properly to a sticker  .

&&  that’s everything i think  !  if you have any questions  ,  please feel free to shoot me an IM here on tumblr  !

[sinceileftyoublog]

Weekend Picks: 2/21-2/23

Big Head Todd and the Monsters

BY JORDAN MAINZER

There were no live picks for yesterday, but plenty for the weekend!

2/21: Objekt, Smartbar

Here’s what we wrote about Objekt’s Cocoon Crush when we named it our #6 album of 2018:

“An artist solidly known for his bold exploration of techno, Objekt now takes a plunge into a new kind of ethereal beauty on Cocoon Crush. A foray into ambient music, Objekt subverts a lot of what we have come to expect from him. The line between digital and analog is smeared. Tracks are ungrounded, punctuated still by percussion and synthesizers, but in patterns and textures that materialize in mysterious ways. And just as they appear, they stutter and morph in ways unexpected to the listener. The cold machinations of the dancefloor are still present; they are just stretched and masked in exciting and rewarding ways.”

Darwin and Flower Flood open.

2/21: Knuckle Puck, Beat Kitchen

We previewed Knuckle Puck’s set at Durty Nellie’s two years ago:

“Covering last year’s Riot Fest, I found Knuckle Puck the worst set of the festival, though I did remark that the band’s new, unreleased material had the crowd’s attention as much as their released material. As it turns out, the album versions of the songs are pretty good. Shapeshifter, released about a month later in October, was exemplary of what Knuckle Puck do best–write catchy songs with powerful melodies and hooks, enough to showcase the band’s more-than-capable instrumental prowess while avoiding the try-hard singing that plagues so many of today’s emo bands.”

Cleveland power poppers Heart Attack Man and Wilkes Barre hardcore band One Step Closer open.

Objekt; Photo by Kasia Zacharko

2/21: James McMurtry, Old Town School of Folk Music

We previewed James McMurtry’s show at FitzGerald’s two years ago:

“James McMurtry plays tonight as part of the 37th Annual American Music Festival at Fitzgerald’s, still touring strong off of Complicated Game (one of our favorite albums of 2015) like he was when it first came out. When we caught up with him last November, he said of new songs, 'I’ve jotted them down on my phone as I’ve gone along. That whole record was written on an iPhone3. Unfortunately, I dropped that phone, I don’t have the cool Notes app anymore.' Well, either he’s got a new phone or doesn’t need one, because late last year, he released 'State of the Union', a trademark jab at fascism and racism. It might not be as succinct as him telling us 'There never been a good Nazi a day on this earth dead or alive,' but at least there’s hope for more new material.”

2/21: Raphael Saadiq & Jamila Woods, Vic Theatre

Last year, Raphael Saadiq released his first album in 8 years (since the great Stone Rollin’). Jimmy Lee is named after, inspired by, and partially about his brother who died of heroin overdose after contracting HIV many years ago. As such, whether singing or inhabiting the character of his brother, Saadiq is at times uncharacteristically somber. He’s at the other end of a barrel of a gun on “Sinners Prayer”, reflecting on his wrongs, wondering whether it’s too late: “When a sinner is praying, God, will you hear it?” He wears a heavy burden on the funky, stomping “Something Keeps Calling Me”, the song’s wailing guitar solo in the bridge a mirror to his emotions. Saadiq calls out society, too, just as much as himself. “The people are mad,” he sings on “This World is Drunk”. The one-two punch of anti-mass incarceration jams “Rikers Island” and “Rikers Island Redux” presents the issue as simply as it should be put: “Too many n***as in Rikers Island / Why must it be / Set them free.” The former expresses its anger with upbeat piano and a simple refrain, the latter with spoken word over gentle guitar strums.

Best, though, are the reflections of grace that rise above the despair. On “I’m Feeling Love”, over a slower, more warbling funk, Saadiq, singing as his brother, is thankful for the little that he has. And on the skittering, rolling “Glory To The Veins”, he again distills his brother’s death to what matters: “I lost a brother to AIDS / Still, he laughed every day.” We’re lucky that as he gets older, reflecting on his life, and playing live reflecting on his career in Tony! Toni! Toné! and all the legendary artists like D’Angelo and Solange that he’s produced, Saadiq is willing to impart his wisdom.

Jamila Woods’ LEGACY! LEGACY! was one of our favorite albums of last year:

“Yes, Jamila Woods’ stunning LEGACY! LEGACY! is a tribute to important artists of color. What makes it stand out among other tributes, however, is the remarkable way Woods is able to present how each figure has guided her. Take opener 'BETTY', about funk artist Betty Davis, a woman married to a far more famous jazz trumpeter who gets his own song later on. Woods explores the gender and power dynamic in the relationship and uses it to make a personal and universal plea: 'Let me be, I’m trying to fly.' Fly, she does. On 'ZORA', over a hip hop beat, Woods succinctly declares in an all-time line, 'My weaponry is my energy', the drive and desire the catalyst in the noble goal to make her mark on the world as a black woman as opposed to while being a black woman. In various interviews surrounding the album release, Woods spoke about being inspired by black artists who perform and make art truly for themselves independent and often in spite of the race of the end consumers. 'Motherfuckers won’t shut up,' beings 'MUDDY', referencing Muddy Waters adoption of electric guitar because white audiences would talk over his sets; 'Shut up, motherfucker,' she sings inversely on 'MILES', 'I don’t take requests.' But the percussive, jazzy 'EARTHA' best encapsulates her aims of self-love and ultimate pride. 'I used to be afraid of myself,' Woods admits before stating, 'I don’t wanna compromise.' Ultimately, the refrain of, 'Who’s gonna share my love for me with me?' is the mindset by which Woods approaches relationships throughout the record and then life itself. You can be a part of it, but she comes first.”

DJ Duggz also opens.

2/21: The Wailers, SPACE

We previewed The Wailers’ set at Old Town School of Folk Music last year:

“Bob Marley might not be around, but his original band, containing many of the original members and their children, continues to play his songs. Seeing them in a venue as small as this is rare.”

Tonight at SPACE--an even smaller venue--they play two shows, an early and late one.

Joe Henry

2/22: Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Vic Theatre

We previewed Big Head Todd & The Monsters’ show at the Vic Theatre two years ago:

“The Colorado jam band that saw mainstream success in the 90′s is touring fresh off of last year’s heavy New World Arisin’. In 2016, as Big Head Blues Club (the band’s project with a wide array of blues legends like Cedric Burnside and Charlie Musselwhite), they released Way Down Inside. But for the full potential of Big Head Todd and the Monsters, go a few years back and try 2014′s Black Beehive, a rawer, more diverse blues record than you’d expect from the band who recorded 'Bittersweet'. What’s for sure is that live, they’ll lean heavily on the new material while not forgoing their more beloved classics.”

They haven’t released a new album since then but have released a new song every month as part of a series. They should play some of these live, including gospel piano ballad “Hard Times Come No More” and the funky, rollicking “Train of Storms”.

Nashville band Los Colognes open.

2/22: Todd Barry, Thalia Hall

We previewed Todd Barry’s sets at SPACE two years ago:

“So, this isn’t exactly music, but deadpan comedian Todd Barry is performing 2 stand-up sets in one night at SPACE. Commemorating his 30 years of being a comedian, he’s going on another crowd work-only tour like the one documented in his 2014 special Todd Barry: The Crowd Work Tour. From watching that and his most recent Netflix special Spicy Honey, Barry’s dry observational humor is effortlessly tailored to specific crowds and cities, making this one of the must-see comedy events of the year.”

Even if tonight isn’t crowd work-only, he should do some of his specialty.

Chicago-based stand-up comic Chelsea Hood opens.

Hot Snakes

2/22: Joe Henry, Old Town School of Folk Music

Since we last saw Joe Henry five years ago, he’s done quite a bit of production work and released two albums, 2017′s Thrum, and last year’s The Gospel According to Water. In between the two, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer; considering that, the latter takes on weight. It’s, first and foremost, raw, from the guitar playing on “Famine Walk” to the title track. But Gospel sports moments of beauty, too, as on the woodwind of “Mule” and rich vocal harmonies of “In Time For Tomorrow” and “The Fact of Love”.

Americana duo Birds of Chicago open.

Pissed Jeans; Photo by Ebru Yildiz

2/22: Tim and Eric, Chicago Theatre

Who knows what Tim and Eric will bring to their Chicago stop of their Mandatory Attendance tour, other than their purported "brand new spoofs, goofs and insanity” and “special surprises.” The last time I saw them, Dr. Steve Brule showed up and almost married Jan Skylar!

2/22: Hot Snakes, Pissed Jeans, & HIDE, Empty Bottle

Music Frozen Dancing is upon us again, with suggested donations benefiting the Chicago Coalition for the Homeless! Go and donate!

We last listened to Hot Snakes from the medical tent at September’s Riot Fest. Since then, they’ve released the first two of four seasonal 7-inch singles leading up to the next LP: the burner “Checkmate” and wonderfully plodding laziness anthem “I Shall Be Free”. (The latter’s 7-inch has “A Place in the Sun” as an exclusive.)

Hot Snakes also play Sunday night at the Bottle with an opening set from post punk band Pink Avalanche.

Allentown hardcore band Pissed Jeans haven’t released anything since 2017′s Why Love Now, but they’re thankfully back to warm your pants before Hot Snakes. Maybe they’ll have some new songs to play?

Local industrial duo HIDE (artist Heather Gabel and percussionist Seth Sher) released their second album last year, the raw, disgusting Hell is Here. The drum programming and screaming is just as cringingly visceral as the recorded sounds of vomit hitting a toilet that end opening track “Chainsaw”.

Synth band Crash Course in Science, arty The Hecks, and local punk band Hitter also open.

[jonahsahn]

Starting Anew

I had Tumblr before.

It used to be a collection of things that interested me.

Anime, art, photography, porn, music, you naaaame it. 

My Tumblr interests were just as jumbled up as I am. And while there’s a uniqueness to that kind of mixed upness, I have come to learn that when it comes to digital marketing, or the selling of oneself as a “brand” on social media, the world seems to like flattened experiences. 

You see, I have been on social media since the beginning. I call myself a vintage millennial. No, I didn’t think of that myself. It’s actually the work of Jaboukie (Young-White (my future husband, but not really because he doesn’t fulfill the “half my age plus 9″ rule)). I have been on social media for a long time, and I have marketed myself as a mixed up person comprised of a whole bunch of different experiences. 

That doesn’t work. Especially not on my social media platform of choice: Youtube. 

My Youtube channel started off as a way for me to upload video that I had taken for my Sinfonia chapter’s Mills Music Missions; groups of guys going around to nursing homes and hospitals, singing songs for the bed ridden and down trodden. From there, I started using Youtube to watch Happyslip, a Filipinx comedian who got her break acting like her parents online. Then I started following LoveBScott; a gay androgynous man who told stories and gave advice from his apartment in West Hollywood. From there, I began doing my own vlogs about my experiences as a Black/ Asian person. 

I saw a lot of growth in the beginning. I was popular most among Filipinx people and Black Gay Queer men, a lot of whom were out online, but not in real life, a subset of the queer community which wasn’t uncommon in 2008, as a matter of fact. It was a prime time to use Youtube as a way to “escape” and I was an escape for a lot of people at first. 

But then, I started talking about being Gay; being part of the LGBTQ community, and instantly many of my Filipinx subscribers turned on me. I received comments from the same people, over and over again telling me that I could still turn back and “return to God” and that they were praying for me, and hoped that I would get right because they had watched my videos for so long. 

And I dug in further. I transformed my youtube channel into a place where Black Queer (Gay) men gathered on a weekly basis to talk about the issues of the day. Mind you, this was 4 months before The Read podcast by Kid Fury and Crissle. I was so into this idea that I even changed the name of the Youtube channel from “blasianFMA” to “Edugaytion.” A complete rebranding and including of my friends. 

Edugaytion had a good run and was the jumping off point for some really interesting things. Garrett McQueen, the host of Edugaytion, went on to work for radio stations around the South, and ended up making his way to American Public Media where he currently works as a host of not only a show, but also a podcast listened to millions of people, and I currently work on a Queer podcast called “This QPOC Life.” 

But what of those people from the Youtube days? The ones I haven’t mentioned? The ones who were my contemporaries, the ones who started around the same time I did, and we might not know each other (or maybe we do...)? 

Plenty of people who started Youtube at the same time that I did stuck to a path. They stuck to one point. They stayed in a lane. Some of those people are now Youtube celebrities; with millions of followers, or household names in certain communities. 

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because I’m trying to figure out what happened with me. Why didn’t I make it big? What did I do wrong? Why don’t people latch on to me at as fast a rate as the people who were around me during the beginning? 

I think I know. 

I think it’s because I didn’t stay in a single lane. I changed the name of my channel. I changed the subject material. People who subscribed to me because I made a particular type of video would come back and then I’d be talking about or doing something completely different. One moment I’m reviewing the latest anime to live action adaptation, the next I’m talking about the struggles of being a Queer Person of Color in a largely White performing arts institution. One minute I’m talking about video games the next, I’m talking about HIV awareness. 

I get it. 

At this point it just seems like it’s far too late to even try to get things on one track. I’ve stepped away from Youtube. I’ve stepped back into it. I’ve taken breaks. I’ve done a video a day for a week. I can see the topics that gain the subscribers and the comments: They’re videos about mixed race people - but I don’t want to devote my channel to talking about one experience. I want  to review videos games, movies, talk about queerness, and a whole host of other things. I want to vlog, get things off my chest, ramble, share stories... But the diversity thing isn’t something that audiences want. 

This carries over into real life as well and is the reason why I’m able to arrive at the conclusion that I have regarding just youtube. 

All blasians know the feeling of not being enough of one or the other. I guess this whole youtube thing is just another byproduct of that. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of blasians who have made it by solely devoting their channels to talking about being Black and Korean, with emphasis on anything Korean, and there are youtubers who are blasian who have devoted their channels to just compiling grammatical errors and talking shit about how people can’t spell... and these people rack up millions of views and subscribers. 

I can’t do that. Not because I don’t have the ability, but because I don’t want to. I’m always evolving. I’m always learning something new, and I’m always trying a different thing.

The current thing is Film Making, which I will probably get into more in my next post because I’ve been typing too much already, and I’m behind on this script I’m writing. 

Anyway, I doubt anybody is reading this, but I’m glad I thought it through and put it out into the universe. 

xx blasianFMA 

[starsailorstories]

So most of my followers know that I’m a full time writer and editor, that I generally get by on a very low income in order to do that, and--most interestingly--that I’m creating a lesbian-centric sci-fi universe with a period-drama feel, a far-left-wing bent, and I certainly hope a fave and a story for almost everyone.

This isn’t a desperate post, I’ve had situations like this and Figured Something Out before, but if you like my writing and want to join the patreon (you can read all the stories for $3 a month) or get a friend or two into it who might want to join, now’s the time! (I mean, now’s one time when it will be especially helpful. Obviously any time you want to do that is great, it’s not your last chance or anything.)

A few reasons:

1. I came up short on my taxes and need to make some payments on that. I also owe some late fees on bills. And I could really, really use a new air conditioner unit before it gets hot (the room where I generally work 10+ hours a day can reach triple digit temps in the hottest part of the summer and that’s...not ideal!) I just haven’t been able to pull off the financial-recovery workmarathons I could a year ago, for a lot of reasons, some of which are my own choices--I’ve been focusing on the things that are most important to me (my fiction writing and continuing my education) and just haven’t had the same amount of time and energy. 

2. If worse comes to worse I’m willing to get another job or take on a bunch more freelance work, but that’s definitely going to mean putting Sweet Chariot and my other creative stuff on hold for a while, and I just really don’t wanna do that. It also just puts me in a worse position from most standpoints besides paycheck regularity; in the past I’ve had a lot of trouble holding down traditional jobs for disability reasons, and there’s no guarantee I’ll even be able to get a job that’ll fix the situation.

3. A positive reason to balance out those two: Exciting things are poised to happen! Volume 1 is set to be ready for Real Editing by the end of May, and after Real Editing comes Becoming A Real Book You Can Buy. I would love to get another professional editor and professional sensitivity readers involved and to publish it in a way that’s both affordable and accessible and lets me keep full ownership of it from a legal standpoint. The only problem is that that’s all going to take money and time (things that are kind of synonymous to me since my job is piecemeal). I’m incredibly determined to make it happen eventually, but the point is, you guys can help make it happen faster.

Feel free to reblog this post, but know too that reblogging my story promos, art, etc--whatever you’re enjoying yourself--probably helps even more, and telling others who might be interested helps most of all!

[ask-shakespearehigh]

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #382

“’cuz if i stand up, i’ll break my bones, and everybody loves to see a fall unfold”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Your brand part 2

Genre: Tattoo Artist AU, smut, romance

Pairing: Tattoo artist!Taehyung x Reader

Warning: No warnings apply

Summary: ''Let me ink your ink your skin like you've inked your brand on my heart.''

For Ana, my partner in crime and source of inspiration.

What should have been a simple outing to get a tattoo at the most well-known tattoo shop in town, Ink Borough, results in being engraved by the biggest name in the world of ink and boss of the parlour, Kim Taehyung. However, getting a tattoo can entail a whole lot more than one might think.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Masterlist

Thoughts are briefly distracted from the painful prospect through the refreshing breeze and straying drops of fountain water that are refreshingly spraying the bare skin of my arms, one of which shall soon have a memory engraved into it by an artist with, suspected, hidden motives.

Although, it is clear he wants to have a drink together, albeit it on the job. Normally, one would not even consider doing such a thing, but something about Taehyung makes me do the opposite of what is seen as common sense. The two cups filled with bright red strawberry smoothies next to me obviously the evidence of that.

There are still ten minutes to go before the hour has passed, but if I simply sit here and do nothing more doubtful thoughts may slip in, causing me to contradict my own words in the end. I refuse to let that happen, partially because I do not want to grant the artist the knowledge of being right after all.

I stand up from the white marble bench, pick up the cardboard holder with the beverages, and head back to Ink Borough through the streets filled with tourists and locals who enjoy the warm weather. 

However, whereas they let themselves be warmed by the sun, I am doing quite a pretty good job doing so myself by unintentionally feeding a probably unnecessary fear.

Taehyung has not budged an inch since I left, sitting barefoot and cross-legged on the leather sofa in the exact spot, lost in sketching. Next to him lays a heap of papers torn from his purple notebook in the meanwhile, the finished options for the tattoo. His latest work joins the rest when I put the smoothies on the glass coffee table in front of the couch.

'You're early,' he remarks with a hint of humour. 'Don't tell me you're now actually looking forward to the needle.'

'Ha ha, very funny,' I retort sarcastically. 'I brought something to drink.'

'Strawberry smoothies.' His deep voice turns thoughtful when he glances at the refreshments. 'My family has a strawberry farm down south.'

'Really?' When you take a look at him, take in the predictions on his skin, the least you would expect is for him to be a farmer's boy.

'Yeah, can't say that I have tasted one in any sort of variety for a long time though.' A hint of a past trouble glazes over his eyes. 'Huh, funny.'

'Is there a reason for that?'

'Wouldn't you like to know, detective.' And we are back to the snark. 'Anyhow,' he gestures to the various drawings of phoenixes, 'see if you find any of them to your liking.'

Drink in hand, I place the pile on my lap. Page after page is filled with a sophisticated design of the mystical creature ascending from either a pile of ashes or the residue dancing around them. Some do not have the dust of its former body included, merely the impression it flies upwards.

After going through the stack, I find the perfect design. With a smile, I turn to him, once more almost bumping my head against his. The grin instantly transforms into a snarl. 'Do you have to be so close? It's uncomfortable.'

He feigns offence. 'I am only observing your reaction, Y/N. Nothing unseemly.'

'Sure.' Now it is my turn to be sarcastic.

'Funny and knows how to use sarcasm. Y/N, I may just start to like you.'

'Nothing unseemly,' I remind him.

'Would that angry face change if I did?' He leans back, lip caught between his teeth, expression smug.

An effort to offer a reply that fails, an averted gaze focused on the chosen symbol, a brief hush in which the heat is very tangible though it is uncertain whether it is due to summer or wild thoughts.

'Although, I do quite enjoy your current expression.' He takes a sip of the smoothie. 'You should drink as well before you pass out on the chair as I am doing the outline. That is if the cotton dabbed with alcohol already won't do the trick.'

'You find it really amusing, don't you, teasing me so much because this is my first time.' Gaze turned fierce and courage regathered, I snap my head up to look Taehyung in the eye.

'Calm down, Y/N. I'm just doing it because I like you and want you to feel more at ease about this big commitment.' He holds his big hands up as if I am holding a gun, ready to shoot him. Which, in some way, I am, completely fed up with his sass. Yet, hearing him say he likes me in that manner makes me think he does not simply say it to every customer, be it newbies or more experienced persons.

'Don't say that, you say that to everyone.'

'Y/N, I don't-'

A careful smile. 'Taehyung,' his eyes widen when he hears me say his name so kind-heartedly. 'Or better said: "person who handles the decorating tools",' I correct myself, the humour back in my voice, 'can we get started before I seriously run away?'

A square smile, a playful glint in dark eyes. 'I can bind you to the chair if you want.'

'Didn't know you're into bondage.' The remark has passed my lips before I even realize what I said. The rise in temperature is now certainly due to inappropriate imaginations.

Heartfelt deep laughter nuances the meaning one may find in the comment. 'I'm not, though I can't say I ever tried it,' he adds casually. This man is bad news when you try to preserve your sanity, but it is already too late in my case, the realization has dawned too late. 'However, there is one question I need to ask before we begin.'

'Which is?'

'Colour or classic black and white?'

'Colour. Life isn't black and white, so why would the piece of it I carry with me be?'

'You sound like a friend of mine, he's also a bit of a philosopher. But it'll take longer, just so you know.'

'I would almost believe you want me out of the place as soon as possible.' I give him a challenging glance, awaiting his response as I take a sip of the strawberry beverage.

'And lose my favourite target?' He shakes his head, locks of his hair sway with the movement and tempt me to run my hand through them. Fortunately, I am able to will them to keep holding on to the plastic cup between my fingers. 'Shall we get started?'

'Yeah, good idea,' I agree lest the conversation takes a turn for the worst. However, a voice deep inside says it would not mind if it did.

The alcohol soaked cotton feels chilly upon my skin as Taehyung cleans it, the gloved slender fingers of his left hand lightly supporting my right underarm. Afterwards, he removes any hairs, both visible and invisible, with swift movements of a disposable razor. Maybe it is part of the standard procedure, maybe it is not, but he lets his fingertips languidly glide over the prepared skin, almost in what can be called an appreciative manner. If that is indeed the case, it is not minded at all and in fact let it cost me all my might to prevent the goosebumps from rising, thus betraying what he does to me. It becomes even more difficult to do so when he places the stencil on my forearm and wets it to transfer the design in its entirety. The pressure of his digits reminds me of his grip on my wrist and the sensations that caused.

'You're awfully quiet,' he comments as he peels the soaked wet paper away. His eyes meet mine, wondering what has suddenly silenced me.

'Just watching you work is fascinating.' To add a flair of faked nonchalance, I shrug.

'And I haven't even begun in earnest,' he chuckles.

I bite my lip, initially placing the reply in a context which absolutely does not apply at the moment, and cast my gaze downwards at the outline of the phoenix. 'Sorry if it makes you feel awkward.'

'It's fine, Y/N. If anything, I-' A pause followed by a strangely confident answer. 'I like your eyes on me.'

Abruptly we lock gazes. 'What?' I ask.

'What?' he repeats the enquiry.

'Anyhow,' a scrape of the throat, 'do you like the placement?' He nods at the outline. 'Take a look in the mirror, see the overall picture.'

I get up and walk to the tall mirror opposite the chair matching the fake leather sofa to admire the soon permanent piece of art. In the reflection I can see Taehyung preparing the equipment, filling cups with ink and one with clear water. For a second his gaze strays from the tattoo machine to my backside and takes in my figure, every curve revealed by the lack of coverage summer clothes cause. The instant he notices I am on to him, he shifts his focus back to the original task. He takes a sip of the smoothie, hoping it will help, but nevertheless seems to have a bit of trouble.

'You like it?' Unconsciously, Taehyung runs a hand through his hair, his stare slightly arrogant due to the pride he has in his work. Yet, the ring in his deep voice can also easily be placed in another context. A context that resonates a pleasant stir within me.

'Love it,' I reply, corners of my mouth curled up into a small smile to hide what he does to me.

'You didn't pick the most painless of spots, so this may hurt throughout the entire time,' he informs when I sit down again.

I pick up the smoothie cup I placed beside the seat and take the last sip of courage, after which I return the empty version of it to its spot on the brown linoleum floor. 'I guess it's time to be brave then.'

In spite of the ointment to smoothen the skin, it is as he said. The needle penetrating and marking me with ink feels as if the fires of Hell are burning in my veins, searing the pure skin away to leave black lines behind.

It is agony at its finest, but also forms an unexpected source of pleasure. Somehow, in a wicked sense, it is as effective as a drug to have Taehyung engrave me with his brand. The careful yet tight hold his fingers have on my arm, gradually climbing up, and his concentrated dark eyes on me feed the frenzy. Especially each time he glances upwards from the tattoo to check how I am doing, the corners of his mouth curled up into the sliver of a satisfied grin when he sees how desperately I am trying to stay strong.

'Just tell me when you need a break. Don't want to make you cry,' he comments shortly when we have passed the halfway mark, briefly interrupting the process.

'As if you could.' Sarcasm has slipped in to hide the stinging yet bearable hurt, but he must be aware of my true feelings since he likely has experience with newbies that play it cool. Or try to do so, anyway.

'I wouldn't. Even if I did, I'd try my best to comfort you.' A rose-coloured flush tints his cheeks. Rapidly his stare shifts from me to the machine next to him.

Absolutely baffled I look at the snarky guy turned marshmallow. 'Did you just- are you flirting with me?'

'Guess you'd know if I do, right? You're a grown woman. Surely you recognize it when a guy is falling for you.' Feigned arrogance betrays his true thoughts.

'Are you?' I ask to test the water.

'Who knows? Maybe I do, maybe I don't.'

'You said you like me.'

'Let's just crack on, okay?' The return of the whirring and sensation of the needle interrupt the conversation and he is concentrated on the tangible part of his world of ink.

The pleased grin soon changes into something indescribable as we progress into the colouring stage, when the tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes and soft moans caused by conflicting emotions begin to spill from my lips every now and then, despite the endeavours to hold them in. It is desire and pain combined, a toxic potion I can drink any day. At least inhale its scent, as I do now. No longer able to mask it.

He changes as well the more the phoenix appears on my skin. Charisma fades, vague sonorously mumbled words meant to not be heard mingle with my utterances whenever they escape, a lush lip is caught between bright white teeth more often, awkward movements on the stool to hide a growing desire that hopefully will remain unnoticed but does not as it grabs my attention more than once, making the want for him greater. The tight grip relaxes, fingers undeniably wanting to stray but instead worshipping the piece of me they currently have within reach.

Moreover, Taehyung smells it too, without a doubt, but nevertheless tries to finish what we started. Focus weakens, dark glossy eyes trailing to the source of the new scent of a twisted nature until he remembers what he is doing and has priority.

After going on like this for another hour and a half, neither of us saying a word, the silence filled with images of his gaze regarding me in other ways than only this one and him occasionally uttering curses or barely audible groans of the word "baby" falls from his lips, the tattoo is finally completed. The gorgeous phoenix is bigger than intended and covers my forearm as it rises in a storm of scarlet red tinted with hints of gold and amber, ascending into the pastel sky, black ash falling from its wings and tail.

A deep sigh that contains a hidden impatience. 'Go have a look up close.' He nods to the white wall opposite us.

I walk to the mirror on the other side of the space to regard the tattoo, this new piece of me, and the overall renewed tougher image it creates. The only signs of vulnerability are the tears which are still present.

Fingers that are not my own rest on the underside of my arm, a big hand on my hip, a broad chest forms a wall to lean against, a hard heat source touches my behind, a husky deep voice speaks.

'What do you think?' Taehyung's gaze locks with mine in our reflection and although the question is meant to estimate my opinion on this symbol behind which hides a story, the tone he uses is out of place and his eyes look at me in anticipation.

'It's beautiful.' Gently I let my digits caress the reddened sensitive skin, secretly enjoying the last bit of remaining pain.

He bends forward to whisper in my ear, his warm breath making it seem as if the room temperature rises a few degrees. 'Just like you.'

'Taehyung-' His hands trail slowly up and slip underneath the fabric of my top, digits tracing a path to the edge of the black bralet that is concealed underneath it. A grunt falls from his lips when he rolls his hips and I meet the action by leaning into him.

'Can we go to the back office? The bandaging supplies are there.' An absolute ridiculous argument since I spy the needed tools for the treatment on the counter behind the chair, but chose to say nothing of it. Instead, I simply nod and follow him.

The tiger caught its prey, the phoenix all too willing to let it lead her to a new death.