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#simply protecting my peace
doesimmons · 9 months
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So, happy late holidays, friends!! I hope everyone has had an at least decent past week or so.
My wonderful, wonderful parents got me my own e-reader this year. It's got a teal case, and I will be adorning it with as many cat, space-themed, and Taylor Swift stickers as I physically can. But, of course, nothing in my life comes without just a hint of grief.
Because I haven't gotten around to putting published books on it yet, currently, my library consists of my favourite fanfictions. As one does when given the chance. Before this, I mostly read fics on my phone when I didn't have my laptop around, and I was bored enough. I presume no one bothered me before because I just looked like a young tweny-something phone addict on Tiktok or something. Lol.
Anyway, I realized my mistake about half a day later, when my aunt asked me what exactly I was reading so intently. My entire life flashed before my eyes. I was *not* telling my aunt that I was currently reading FitzSimmons fanfiction! She knows enough about pop culture to know exactly what that means, look down on it, AND make fun of me forever!
I did some quick thinking and managed to spit out "Catching Fire" because Hunger Games has been on the brain. I don't truly know if she believed me, but there weren't any more questions asked. Moral of the story, don't read fanfiction on your e-reader around other people without unflinching bravery in the face of judgy relatives or an imaginary backup book in place.
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queefsencen · 8 days
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by the way i will still defend keefe with my life. keefe haters are not welcome here the only exception is max crescentpaws
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snoopyana · 4 months
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i have the worst case of private posting when i feel like i could do better on a certain writing. to all who saw the eunseok one, i hope you liked it because you will be the ONLY ones to see it. xoxo - elleyana.
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ramonathinks · 11 months
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15 year old reblogged my work, sent me an ask and messaged me like what are we coming to as a society
THEN i checked her account and she kept begging older men to message her and saying she needs and wants a sugar daddy and that older guys do it best ://
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quietanarchy · 1 year
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i just went through my following & removed all of the accounts from years ago & i desperately need new blogs to follow !!
pls interact if you post
study inspo, anything related to school, etc (specifically post secondary or grad studies)
anything related to roleplaying on tumblr and discord
writing help in general
aesthetics
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dootznbootz · 7 months
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There's something so specifically infuriating when someone uses one of your experiences or your demographic in an argument, especially if said argument is about spreading hatred or is just so wrong. They "speak on behalf of the ___" to say such fucked shit.
"You're not thinking of the ___!"
"I literally am ___. You saying that adds nothing as you do not speak for me or for other ___. Shut up."
#I really really hate it. It angers me in such a specific way that just skldjf ksdl#...#vent below. idk. I'm really sorry#Mad rambles#Terfs will be like “oh think of survivors! 'MEN' can share women's spaces!” like shut the actual fuck up. SHUT UP. Shut your damn mouth#A terf is so much more dangerous than a trans person. Me. a tiny cis woman is so much more dangerous to a terf than a transperson is.#Because I will obliterate you. How dare you say you speak on MY behalf? As if I don't know what I'm fucking talking about.#as if you're “protecting me” by spewing such bullshit? by treating someone as a danger when they're not?!#Especially when they believe it's a fucking TRUMP CARD. Like mentioning it means they're right!!! when obviously they're not!!!#Or when they think the fact that I'm cis will make me agree with them! I'm cis simply because I am. I'm not better or worse because of it#being cis doesn't mean I'm fine with bullshit though!#I really hate feeling almost as if like...idk I'm “known” for talking about this but it's just so so infuriating. people will act like they#know when they don't. Obviously every experience is different and terfs who are survivors I hope you find peace and my heart goes out to yo#but you also need to get your fucking head outta your ass. Saying such things isn't the way to heal and you're hurting others with it.#It's NOT about hating men or trans people! the “men are always violent/women are always victims” mentality needs to fuck off#as if it's just the script of life and that it's inescapable no matter what. that it's the truth even if circumstances say otherwise.#...I'm going to possibly block the epic tag for a bit. I have the name of the saga blocked but like... It's just genuinely upsetting.#my story got picked apart too on how it wasn't actually that bad. that I'm actually the fucking worst. “Men are just like that sweetie”#BULLSHIT!!! Gender doesn't dictate a person's morals. Being good and kind does. It doesn't matter what form that takes!#not even saying HE'S good and kind as he's horrible and wonderful at the same time but about this stuff? Do what you want but#I DO think you're insane if you see it as otherwise and it makes me wanna lock my door. You're not a bad person probably but also 🙃#I get that there's history but there's also the fucking TEXT.#I don't know. I'm really sorry#tw trauma#tw sa mention#I'm not necessarily against reblogging this (I don't care) but don't post with tags. please
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lukeskywalking · 2 years
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Just finished TLOU. Might fuck around and not watch season 2 ❤️
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Things which I will not be doing: TWN S 3 :)
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tragicclownwrites · 8 days
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🤡
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starswirly · 3 months
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[ * whenever I see a post or blog I dislike I’m just going to imagine them as a squeaky toy being absolutely destroyed by my chihuahua. the annoying squeaking is the posts n stuff I dislike. the dog is me mentally blowing them up ]
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dxsertrot · 6 months
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Actually everything has been too complicated and now that the sun is out I've decided that everything is actually easier than I thought and nothing has to hurt me unless I let it
#drinking coffee and smoking in the sun after a decent day of work#i got to work ot this weekend and do a tough job and the day after i hiked w my mom and ran along the beach w the dog#the longer i keep myself away from the narrative the more further removed and at peace i feel#although sometimes its somewhat distrupted when i see them but i reel it back in real quick#it just feels good to know that i dont have to let anyone in and that i have my people and thats all i need#im goung to carry myself the rest of the way through like i always have#and i dont need anyone elses validation#things will come to me when im ready and its right#if i dont want someone to hurt me then i simply dont have to allow them to hurt me#and if i hurt them then oh well. i need to protect my peace and my self esteem#i have things that i would like to work out but i need to accept that everything i want to have happen i cant make happen#ive been through too much and worked too hard and loved too hard and learned too much to let things like this touch me anymore#my self perception cannot hinge on anyone anymore because only i know what ive done and seen and felt and thought in every momemt of my lif#and how i look is not a solid descripter of all the aspects of me#it is not the bulk of my humanity it is hardly a grain of sand#im not angry or sad im just indifferent and ready for something better and healthier and more secure#and the things and people that i can have by relying on my looks do not hold much value anyways#besides. i am pretty. and im healthy and im good w my money and i laugh w my belly and i know a fuck of a lot more than i ever thought#and ive done more than i ever anticipated#i have a lot of things to be so okay with that i shouldnt even have to think about it#and the fact that i ever do is a luxary not given to the bulk of humanity#ive had the privledge to love many times and learn the lessons that accompany losing#and the privilege to make my own decisions and have my own priorities#i have the time and money to worry about frivolous things just like ive had the same to experience some really cool things#i am full of energy and opportunity and love and i get to decide when and where i want to direct that#if i direct it in a place that leave me feeling sad and empty and confused i can put my focus elsewhere unless i deem it worthy enough to#work at#and when ive poured too much in and got too little back ill know to reframe things#its not that complicated and its not that messy#it just is whatever i make it out to be and im tired of making everything out to be more and allow it to define me
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versary · 6 months
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i usually leave the room before QANDA starts because it pisses me off so much haha (i do need to shower and get ready for bed at that time anyway) but i didn't tonight and got immediately steamed
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nebulaafterdark · 3 months
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The Rats (Pt. 3)
Aegon ii x Velaryon(Strong)! Reader
Summary: Aegon attempts to make peace with Rhaenyra after being forced to usurp her throne. Lucerys’ death complicates things.
18+ ONLY, MDNI. Targcest, smut, angst, violence. S2 SPOILERS
Part 1 | Part 2
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“With free reign of King’s Landing, Aemond will focus his attention on the occupation of bast-” Aegon’s face flushes bright red. “Harrenhal.” He corrects himself, “and the extermination of house Strong.”
“What did you call it?” Daemon arches a brow.
“Harrenhal,” Aegon repeats.
“Before that,” Daemon prods.
Aegon sighs, looking to his wife.
“Bastardhal.” Y/N rolls her eyes.
“My brother’s term of endearment.” He explains, “a slip of the tongue.”
“Mmm,” Daemon hums. “Perhaps allegiance to your brother runs deeper than you let on.”
“I have left my siblings and abandoned my post to be here. I remain loyal to Rhaenyra’s claim and her line of succession. What else would you have me do?” Aegon scoffs.
“There are a number of things.”
“If you refuse to believe that Aegon is loyal to our queen, believe that he is loyal to me and I am loyal to my mother.” Y/N takes a protective step in front of her husband.
Daemon’s jaw ticks, frustrated and teetering near sanity’s edge. “You then, are responsible for his indiscretions.”
“I take full responsibility.” Y/N agrees, “he is here for me.”
“Perhaps he might further demonstrate his loyalty.”
“And how, do you suggest, I do that?” Aegon wonders.
“Deliver us your brother’s head on a platter.” Daemon sneers.
“Mother!”
“Am I wrong, Rhaenyra?” Daemon scoffs.
“That is enough!” The Queen slams her fist against the table. “Thank you, Aegon for the information you provided. We will coordinate with our army and send reinforcements to Harrenhal. We will send word to Cregan Stark-”
“By raven?”
“However I see fit, Daemon. Stay your hand.” Rhaenyra snaps. “You are all excused.”
Aegon is out the door just as swiftly.
Y/N flinches as it slams behind him.
Jacaerys remains stoic in the corner, saying nothing for a long while as his mother and step father begin bickering. “Sister,” he nods toward the hallway.
Y/N returns the gesture, following him out past the royal guards. “The nerve of him.” She is fuming as they begin strolling the grounds.
“That is Daemon.” Jacaerys breathes. “Pay him no mind.”
“It’s not as if I don’t want Aemond’s head. Luce is our brother, for the gods’ sake.”
Jace swallows, mouth set in a firm line. “He was our brother.”
Was…is he not anymore?
“In these dealings with Aemond, you must remember that killing him will not bring Luce back.”
“It would be even.”
“A son for a son was also even.” Her brother reminds her. “Your grievance with it hath brought you here.”
“I should have allowed the murder of a child?”
“I did not say that.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“What is even is not always right, I expect you know that by now.”
“Indeed.”
“Ravens will take too long.” Jacaerys laments, “but mother will not let us deliver messages anymore. It is a shame that our safety comes at the expense of other’s.”
Y/N draws in a steadying breath. “Pity.” She turns away, in the direction of her chambers. Aegon is waiting for her there, sipping from a pitcher of wine. “Did they not give you a cup, my darling?”
“Hmm,” Aegon hums into the container, “of course.” He lowers the pitcher from his mouth, “but this is faster.”
The princess puts a hand to her head.
“I am not a dog that’s been kicked, do not look at me that way. As if I am weak.”
“I love you and you are hurting.” Y/N sighs, “I do not know how else to look at you.”
Aegon mulls this over for a moment. “I did not mean to call it bastardhal.”
“I know that.”
“You are not a bastard.” He presses on, “I am sorry for ever calling you one.”
“You are forgiven.” It is nothing more than a word. It cannot harm her anymore.
“If no house would claim you, then I would.”
Y/N gives him a sad smile, “thank you, Aegon.”
“You think I jest? Or does it simply mean nothing coming from me?”
“It means everything coming from you,” Y/N takes a step toward him. “Forgive me if I have made it seem-”
“No,” Aegon shakes his head, “forgive me. I am lost in this. I mustn’t take my frustration out on you.”
Y/N cups his face in her hands. “If you are loved by no one, know you are loved by me.“
“Without you I have nothing.” He reaches a shaky hand out, stroking her hair, reverently. “I am nothing.”
She draws back, searching his eyes. “That is not true.”
“If you ask me to slay my brother, I will do it.” Aegon breathes.
Y/N presses her lips together. She had not asked, Daemon did. But Aegon does not bend to Daemon’s will, only hers.
“Please do not ask.” He murmurs with wide, sad eyes.
Y/N cannot stand to see him cry. It tears at the depths of her soul. She wraps her arms around him, “I will not ask.”
Aegon clings to her. “I would do it.”
“I know, my love.” Y/N presses kisses to the side of his face. She knows his sadness, the burden of being least loved by everyone else. Some part of him will always seek to win her approval, her affection… her love.
He is pawing at her then, at the laces of her dress. He does not know how to comfort her, nor himself. He knows how to bring pleasure so blinding it nearly drowns out the pain.
Y/N helps him remove his clothes, wrapping him up in her arms. “I love you.”
“As I love you.” He’s stumbling backwards then, hovering over her on the bed. Easing his cock into her.
She sighs, losing herself in the gentle rocking of his hips. There is no haste to reach their peak, taking what little comfort they can from each other.
It is not until his thumbs skate over her cheeks that Y/N realizes she is crying. Even here, on their marriage bed, there is no end to suffering. Only an end to loneliness.
————————————————————————
Y/N waits until Aegon is sleeping soundly to clamber from the warmth of his arms and dawn her riding gear. Dragonstone is quiet as she makes her way down to the dragon pit. Stormborn is nestled in beside Sunfyre, her light blue scales complement the golden hue of her companion.
“Where are you off to at this hour, your grace?” One of the keepers asks.
“I’m going to take Stormborn out for a bit of fresh air. The moon is beautiful this evening, don’t you agree?” Y/N smiles, tucking a bit of loose hair behind her ear.
“Indeed, Princess.” He eyes the sword, sheathed at her back.
“This is only a precaution,” Y/N lies, “we can never be too careful in these times.”
He nods, “I will saddle her.”
“Thank you, Marcelo.” Y/N nods, tugging on her riding gloves as she waits. Tapping at her wedding band, beneath the cool fabric.
“She is ready, your grace.”
“Thank you, again.” She says, climbing up onto Stormborn’s saddle.
“It is my great honor.” The man smiles, watching in wonder as the princess sets off across the sea.
Only a few torches are lit at the entrance of Harrenhal.
Y/N lands near the stone walkway, striding up to the tall hooded figure and ripping back his cloak.
Aemond turns to his assailant. “Y/N?”
“Take out your sword.” She demands.
“Lucerys death was a tragic mistake, a lapse in judgment I do not care to repeat.”
“I will not kill you with your back to me, I am no coward. You will face me, take out your sword.”
“For the sake of the gods, Y/N,” Aemond growls. “Do you aim so desperately to break my brother’s heart?”
“I will not allow the slaughter of innocent people. This ends here.”
“A brother for a brother it will be then, not a son for a son.” Aemond reluctantly withdraws his weapon.
Y/N charges him, in a blind rage, their blades meet, clanking together.
“You make a better sparring partner than most.” He draws his sword away, narrowly dodging her next attack.
“This is not a children’s game, I want your head!”
Aemond purrs, “you must earn it then.”
She sees red, swinging at him again, until his blade slices across her side and she has cut deep into the flesh of his leg. Bringing the Prince to his knees, with her sword at his neck.
“Do it,” Aemond insists, “you will not get another chance.” He stares up at her blade, dripping with his blood. The fear etched into her eyes, tresses of dark hair clinging to her sweat damp skin.
In this light, each of them resemble their brother.
The end Y/N desires is so near she can taste it, rising like bile in her throat. She chokes on it. “No.” She drops her blade from his neck, covering her aching side instead. “No.”
Aemond hangs his head. “I am sorry for that business with Luce. I lost my temper that day.”
“And I lost my…” No, she cannot say it, the pain is too great.
“Let me see your wound.” Aemond insists.
In her shock, Y/N obeys.
He tears across the bottom of his cloak, knotting the material firmly around her torso. Unbothered by her hissing protest. “This will hold until you reach Dragonstone. Go to Aegon, he will tend you.”
“You must leave this place.”
“You have my word.”
“And you must leave King’s Landing.”
Aemond smirks, “where would I go?”
“Anywhere.” Y/N suggests, “take Helaena and your children. We both know, she is too kind to bear the weight of the crown and our blood. Take her away so she might be happy…and free.”
“Do you not wish to be free from the weight of the crown?”
Y/N hesitates for a long moment. “I am the crown. I am my mother’s heir, her only daughter. I cannot abandon her, she has lost too much.”
Aemond swallows, “very well. Helaena will write you. You and my brother might visit, once we’re settled.”
“Perhaps we will.” She will never forgive him for Lucerys. They will never be as they were before Storm’s End. “You are my husband’s brother and husband of my dearest friend.”
“I am also your brother’s murderer. A title that trumps all, despite your best intentions. You are good, and kind, but human all the same.”
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“Aegon.”
“Hmm?” He reaches for his wife, blindly, stroking a hand over her dark waves. “What have you done to your hair, darling girl?” He grumbles, “it is awfully coarse.”
Jace bats Aegon’s hands away. “My sister is gone, you buffoon. Get your clothes on.”
“Jacaerys?” Aegon springs up, covering himself with the top sheet. “What are you doing?”
“Y/N is missing. The dragon handlers informed me that she left on Stormborn nearly two hours ago. Sunfyre has been yowling ever since.”
“Alert your mother,” Aegon demands, “raise the guard. Who on earth let the heir to the throne take a dragon from the pit in the middle of the night?”
“She is a princess, not a prisoner.” Jace reminds him, “I have a hunch as to where she went.”
“Harrenhal.” Aegon begins tugging on his clothes. The little brat bedded him and snuck off; again. “She will be a prisoner upon her return. I tire of these games.”
“You mustn’t be so harsh, my sister would go to the ends of the earth for you.”
“Yet she will not stay with me.” Aegon steps into his boots. “Surely she loves me so dearly that she flees at every opportunity.”
“Do not see it that way.” Jace sighs.
“I have no other way to see it.” Their chamber door swings open, revealing the woman in question.
“Aegon,” Y/N chokes. The blinding rush of battle is gone, leaving only her pain.
“Leave us,” Aegon waves a dismissive hand at his nephew.
“Y/N,” Jacaerys looks to his sister instead.
“I am well, brother.”
“You are bleeding.”
Y/N glances down at her wound, “perhaps you might go quietly to the maester and request milk of the poppy?”
“The maester should tend you,” he argues.
“Aegon will tend me, tis but a scrape.” Y/N insists.
Her brother squares his shoulders. “Very well, I will be back.”
“Thank you, brother.” Y/N forces a smile as Jace exits the door.
“What happened?” Aegon demands, squinting into the dim light as his wife stands before him, in her riding gear.
“I could not do it.” Y/N curses her own weakness. “I went to Aemond, I stopped him from taking Harrenhal and I let him go.”
Aegon shifts her garments aside to reveal the damage. A long bleeding gash, beneath her ribs. “Aemond did this to you?” He sits her down on the foot stool, pacing in the small space before it.
“We dueled,” Y/N admits. “I made my mark on him as well.”
“Gods be good.” Aegon breathes.
“If Daemon catches word of this-”
“You are injured. That is where my interests lie, not in the folly of men.” Aegon seethes.
“He has already condoned the murder of children. Helaena’s children, of all people. What will he do if he hears of this?”
Aegon passes a hand over his face. “Surely we cannot leave the wound open like that, it will fester.”
“I know,” Y/N nods. “We must seal it up, with a heated blade. We can do it here, no one need know.” She reaches for his cup on the dresser, chugging the foul liquid down for some relief.
“You’re asking me to…” his eyes dart to his dagger, abandoned near his boots. “No.”
“Aegon.”
“I can’t.”
“It will be quick,” she reasons. “It will scar, but it is on my side, you will not look upon it often.”
“That is what you’re concerned with,” Aegon snaps, “of all things, you think I care about the scar it will leave? That I might frown upon an imperfection?”
“I-”
“You are maddening.”
“I am sorry. I do not wish to fight.”
“It is unavoidable from what I’ve heard. Marriage causes strife and disagreements.”
“Not ours,” Y/N insists, “you are the only person who understands me.”
“I do not understand why you would put yourself in danger.”
“For you.” Y/N tells him. “So you would not have to choose between your wife and your brother.”
“I would choose you, imbecile.”
Y/N bares her teeth. “I couldn’t let you.”
“Why?”
“Because you are mine, Aegon! I protect what is mine.”
In the way of the dragon. And that, Aegon understands very well.
“Here it is,” Jace returns with milk of the poppy.
“Thank you,” Aegon takes the gauntlet, bringing it to his wife’s lips. “Drink all of it.” He demands.
“Is there anything more I can do?” The other man asks.
“Rest the blade of my dagger over the fire until it glows red, then bring it to me.”
Jace nods.
“First, might you find something for her to bite down on. Leather works best.” Aegon purses his lips, “bring me my belt.” One of them is still etched with her teeth markings from Laenor’s birth. He’s delivered two of their children, surely he can do this.
Jacaerys rushes to the armchair beside the bed, tugging Aegon’s belt free and placing it on the foot stool beside his sister.
Y/N curls her fingers around the harsh material. Her vision has doubled, swaying from side to side.
“Are you going to faint?” Aegon catches her face between his hands.
“I feel fine,” Y/N slurs.
Aegon taps her chin. “That is good, my dearest love. I am going to remove your shirt.” He eases the material over her head, leaving only the bindings to cover her breasts.
“The blade is ready,” Jacaerys calls, from the fire place.
“Open.” Aegon tugs at her bottom lip with his thumb until her jaw goes slack, taking the leather belt from her clenched fist and placing the strap between her teeth. “Bite.”
Y/N clamps her teeth around it.
“Good girl.”
Jacaerys approaches, handling the instrument with care.
“You will hold me around the waist, you are not to let go until I say.” Aegon instructs, waiting until she is wrapped around him in an awkward sort of hug. “There you go.” He pats her head before taking the dagger from her brother. He offers no additional warning before lying the blade flat across the expanse of her wound. The cut is a clean one, without jagged edges.
Y/N lets out a muffled cry.
“Shh,” he hushes her, holding the heat to her skin for just a moment more before tossing the dagger away. Gingerly withdrawing the belt from her teeth. Resting his forehead against hers as whimpers settle to deep breathing. “Are you alright?”
Y/N nods.
“If you dare leave me again, Gods help me, I will shackle you to my side.”
Y/N strokes a hand over the side of his face. “Yes, Aegon.”
“I do not jest.”
Part 4
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annwrites · 3 months
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sons & daughters. part one.
— pairing: cregan stark x fem!reader
— type: part of a series
— summary: when your queen-mother sends your twin brother, jace, to treat with cregan stark, you make a last-minute decision to accompany him north, so as to see the beautiful lands, and put distance between you and the brewing war with the greens; to have a moment of peace.
cregan, growing tired of being harried at every turn by advisors to marry the head-strong alysanne blackwood, and receiving countless marriage proposals from numerous northern lords for their daughters, desperately seeks an end to such matters.
and then he meets you.
— word count: 2,241
— a/n: title of the fic & the fic itself are both inspired by the song of the same name.
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He is struck speechless by the sight of you. 
You stare up at the cloudy sky above, as fluffy white snowflakes drift down, landing softly in your long auburn curls, which tumble about your shoulders and down your back in waves, as well as upon your comely face, your full pink lips. You blink with long lashes, lowering your chin as you turn to greet him—your brown eyes looking tenderly into his own of blue. 
Your twin brother he had been anticipating—had prepared for the arrival of. You, however, have now taken him completely by surprise. In every way.
He gathers himself then, standing tall—back straight—as he steps forward to greet your older brother by just two minutes, Jacaerys. 
You stand silently to the side as the lord bids him welcome to Winterfell—ensuring him that he is most pleased by his presence—and that they have much to discuss in due time, once he is properly settled. 
He then turns to you, and you give him a shy smile, suddenly unsure of yourself—always a familiar feeling to you when it comes to strangers. Your septa’s lessons had done little to ever shake you of such inhibitions. 
He bows his head, his eyes never leaving you. “My Princess,” he says quietly, calmly, in an entirely Northern accent; a sound fairly unfamiliar to your ears. 
“Lord Stark,” you address him in return. “Thank you for having us.”
He studies you for a moment. “You, Princess, I had not expected, I’m afraid. I will have the servants ready chambers for you at once, to your satisfaction.”
You blanch. Had…had the raven your mother sent not stated you were to accompany Jace? It had been a bit of a last-minute decision, per you, after all...
You’d just wanted so dearly to see the wondrous beauty of the North. So much so, that you’d practically had to beg your Queen mother to allow you to fly with him here. She’d been hesitant—always overly-protective of you, her only daughter in all the world—until she had finally relented. Even if you had believed it to be reluctantly. 
You had been sure she would’ve sent a second raven informing the young lord of your accompaniment to your brother, but perhaps not. Or, perhaps, the poor creature had simply gotten lost on the way in. You hope if that is the case, that it is alright.
“Oh, I…” You grasp for words. Oh Gods, now he was going to think you uncouth—to arrive entirely unannounced, leaving his people scrambling to make preparations for your comfort during your unplanned stay. You have half-a-mind to fall to your knees and start apologizing profusely, but instead keep yourself together. 
Finally, you clasp your hands nervously under your thin cloak—you had not been prepared when it came to the biting winds of the North, especially on dragonback, in high altitude. You’d clung to Jace, shaking violently the entire way in, wishing you’d bundled up until you could barely walk, instead of only donning a dress, tights, a cloak, and boots. Stupid. 
“I apologize for my unexpected presence, My Lord. It…it had been a late decision, per me, to come along as well. I had been sure my mother—the Queen, that is—would write to you of it—” 
It was going to take some time to so much as think of her as such: the Queen. To you, she was always just mama, or, rather, now, mother—a new title you’d begun using only a year or two ago to seem more mature. She had seemed saddened at the time by it, somehow.
He shakes his head. “Do not trouble yourself, Princess. We are glad to have you, rest assured.”
He offers you his arm then, and you flush at the kind gesture, before gently taking it, walking alongside him—Jace on his left—and into the beautiful stone castle Lord Cregan calls home.
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The servants rush to properly ready a room befitting a Princess, even if you had tried to assure them there was no need, until Cregan had said that he would only have the best lodgings provided for his royal guests.
So, you had been given a room next to his own, which he assured you—due to the hot water that runs through the piping in the walls, which comes from the natural hot spring located under the castle—would be plenty warm. But, if you required further comfort, you had plenty of thicket blankets and fluffy pillows piled upon your large, canopied bed by the servants. 
He’d left you then—but not before giving you a brief, albeit lingering look—so you could settle in, telling you that he was right next door if you needed something—anything.
You had been grateful to the servants for unpacking your things—filling the dresser and wardrobe provided—for you were plenty weary from your long and stressful journey. In truth, all you wanted was a steaming hot bath, a change into a soft gown, a filling dinner, and then a long rest.
You slip off your boots, placing them before the roaring fire at the front of your room—which is piled high with logs—and pad over to the bedroom door, slowly opening it and glancing to your left, down the hall, hoping to spot someone to request plenty of hot water to fill your tub.
“Something you need, Princess?”
You jump, heart hammering in your chest, which you then come to gently rest your hand over before turning to the right, greeted by Lord Stark watching you, one hand hanging limply by his side, the other’s wrist resting upon the pommel of his sword. 
His lip twitches. “Forgive me, I did not mean to take you by surprise.”
You shake your head. “It’s alright. I was just looking for a servant so I might have my tub filled. I’m afraid I nearly turned into an icicle on the way here.”
He grins. “That would have been most unfortunate.”
He then glances down the hall. “Alia,” he calls to a young maid around your same age.
She turns to the both of you. 
“Please fetch plenty of hot water for our guests, so they may each bathe after their long journey.”
She nods, scurrying away.
He turns back to you. “I shall leave you to it, then. To thaw,” he states, lip twitching.
“Thank you.” You smile, going to close the door, until he speaks again. 
“Will you sup with us? Prince Jacaerys and I have much to discuss, but you will be plenty welcome to join.” He is hopeful that you will agree.
You shift from one foot to the other. In truth, the last thing you want is to squeeze yourself into a gown and have pins shoved uncomfortably into your hair while you force your eyes to stay open over your…whatever it is that they have in the North for dinner. A bowl of stew with a side of bread sounds nice.
You can’t be rude, however. Jace and you—even if they have already pledged their loyalty—need to do whatever it takes to have the full might of the Northern realm backing your mother’s claim to the throne. 
“I would like that very much.”
He nods with a smile. “I will see you in an hour, then?”
You nod in return, closing the door.
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You nearly drift off in the large wooden tub. The water had been steaming—an inviting sight—which had had you stepping into it near-instantly, sinking down, your muscles finally relaxing after you'd spent so long being in-flight. 
You’d washed thoroughly, scrubbing every inch of your tired body, before simply sitting and soaking, your heavy lids eventually drooping before you had shaken yourself back awake, refusing to die by drowning in a bathtub. 
You’d reluctantly stepped out then, drying yourself, then dressing on your own. You did not wish for help tonight. The less company the better with how tired you feel. 
You slip on a simple, soft blue gown, which has sheer, loose material for the arms and sways around your feet, which you then slide into a pair of slippers. You opt for simply brushing out your damp curls, leaving your hair loose and free of any extravagances for tonight.
You only wear a long silver necklace, which has a small charm of the symbol of House Targaryen hanging from it as any form of extra detail to your person this evening. You remember your septa once telling you that Northerners are a rather simple people, opting for the comforts of home and family and their beloved kingdom over lavishness.
You had admired that. 
Finally, you emerge from your room, nervously making your way downstairs, following the sound of soft music playing from the Great Hall, leading you to your host for the night—the next few, in fact.
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They indeed were serving stew. As well as roast chicken, hard bread, cooked vegetables, and more. 
You take your time with your dinner, listening silently as Lord Cregan and your twin talk about their newly-formed alliance; telling stories of his and your forebears. Every now and again, you smile or nod idly if one of them glances in your direction—Cregan doing it far more often than Jace, which you think quite kind of him; trying to keep you involved in the conversation, even if all you can think of is sleep.
Eventually, you feel a large foot brush against your own under the table, and it’s only then that you notice you had closed your eyes, and were currently dozing off over a bowl of fresh berries and tarts.
They slowly open, feeling heavy as anvils as you look to Lord Stark, flushing in shame at your poor manners.
He smiles softly. “You are exhausted, Princess. Please, allow me to escort you back to your chambers.”
You cover your mouth with your hand, yawning tiredly. “Forgive me, My Lord.” You stand then. “Thank you, but I will be f—”
He stands as well then, coming round to you before you can finish telling him that he should stay and keep company with your brother instead; you do not wish to interrupt. But, perhaps him leading you back is for the best when you realize that you’re not entirely sure which way your room had been now. In your fatigued state, you were liable to wander into anyone’s bedchamber tonight.
What a nightmare that would be.
You take his arm then, wrapping both of yours around his own, walking silently beside him as he leads you back upstairs. 
It’s only once you are standing before your door, which he opens for you, that you realize you had laid your head against his shoulder at some point. Gods, what he must think about your unladylike conduct tonight.
He is regretful when you lift it, however.
“Your room, Princess,” he says to you, quietly.
You blink up at him with tired eyes, your cheeks flushed, a small smile on your lips at his kindness. You always did feel far more affectionate when sleepy.
“Thank you, Lord Cregan, for your hospitality.” You pause for only a moment before stepping closer, looking up at him. 
He leans down toward you, interested in whatever is about to transpire.
“You may call me by my given name, if you like. ‘Princess’ is so formal. I hate it, actually.”
He’s taken aback by your frankness. Not off-put, however. Just pleasantly surprised. 
“Whatever you wish, My Prin—” He grins. “Pardons. Y/N.”
You nod once, smiling. “Much better.”
He likes you like this far better than the you from earlier, which had been clearly full of nerves and hesitancy—uncertainty of yourself. He wishes for you to feel comfortable here—at-home. Even if your stay will, most like, be rather curt. He wishes otherwise, for reasons he cannot yet explain.
You turn to head into your room, until he reaches out, taking your hand gently within his own.
You turn back to him, and he stills at his sudden act of forwardness. Gods, what was he thinking, touching you like that? 
You do not pull away, however.
“Yes?” You ask softly, still smiling at him.
He leans down, brushing a kiss over the back of your hand before straightening once more. “I bid you goodnight, Y/N. I will see you on the morrow.”
You flush, then squeeze his hand in return—you have half-a-mind to hug him; you would if he were one of your brothers; Lucerys always does whine whenever you give him a big kiss on the cheek before bed—before finally slipping your palm from his grasp, gently shutting your door behind you.
“Gods be good, what are you doing, man?” Cregan whispers to himself before finally stepping away from your room, heading back down to keep company with your twin for the rest of the evening in an attempt to distract himself from thoughts of tangling his fingers in long auburn curls and staring into brown eyes over candlelight. 
Meanwhile, you step out of your shoes, kicking them to the side, then slip out of your dress, leaving only your shift on as you slip beneath clean blankets that smell of pine and jasmine, quickly drifting into a dreamless sleep as the fire in your hearth softly crackles against the silent night.
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certaimromance · 1 month
Text
𝜗𝜚 Cupid Walks Right.
Spencer Reid x BAU!reader
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Summary: You've been hiding your attraction to your coworker for a long time, until a few pictures of him kissing a celebrity in a pool unleash emotions you can't control.
Words: 1,6k.
TW: mentions of crime and arms (normal warning in the series). spoilers for s1 e18 ("somebody's watching"). two idiots in love. lots of jealousy. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: The reader is simply me every time I watch that episode but with a lot more drama to make it interesting.
♡ Enjoy! ♡
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One bullet after another hit the paper meters away from you, with each shot more accurate than the previous one. You had lost count of how many cartridges you had already spent because your mind was full of thoughts that only the sound of the shots echoing in the shooting room managed to silence and give you back a little control of the situation.
Memories of one of the last cases still lingered in your mind, and you couldn't understand why. It hadn't even been something relevant enough to stick in your mind that much, it was just a crazy stalker obsessed with a celebrity and more of the same old same old in terms of creating a profile. It was nothing you hadn't seen before, and it had ended well, with a happy ending that included Spencer kissing the victim he was supposed to be protecting.
That was the crux of the issue, the root of your problem.
You saw some photos that captured the moment in vivid detail and wanted to run out and throw up in the nearest trash can. You held back to avoid answering embarrassing questions, blaming your bad feelings on the last thing you ate and insisting that you were just satisfying your curiosity. But as they say, curiosity always kills the cat.
Maybe it was because it was unprofessional and unnecessary, maybe you were in a bad mood and needed to relax, maybe you were upset that the guy with the germ problem had shared saliva with a stranger, maybe you didn't like Lila Archer because of her performances, or maybe you just wanted to be in her shoes and have him kiss you like that. And for heaven's sake, maybe you've had a few inappropriate dreams about it lately.
You were just about to fire again to get the thoughts out of your mind when someone tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around, ready to defend yourself with the gun in your hand.
“Wait, wait, it's me. I'm sorry.” Spencer raised his arms in a sign of peace and took a few steps back. “Just me.”
“What are you doing here? You scared me.” You lowered the gun and placed it on the table, trying to sound less abrupt. “I thought everyone had gone home.”
He approached you again, checking the open shells and the pile of bullets on the ground. He was quite surprised to see how many times you had hit the target with perfect shots, and how you still seemed intent on continuing, even though it was almost two in the morning. It wasn't practice, because you didn't need it, it was something else, and you seemed quite angry about it.
“I spent the hour going through some papers and saw the light on in here. I thought I'd come and have a look.” He explained, trying to follow your gaze, which seemed to elude his. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, perfect.”
You started gathering your things and cleaning up the space you'd been using, planning to leave as soon as possible because of his presence. It had been weeks since you'd been alone with him because you'd managed to avoid seeing him as best you could. You'd even managed to convince Hotch that it was time for him to pair you up with someone else during the cases to experiment. You didn't even know why he'd listened to you, but it had been a great relief.
“You're leaving already?” Spencer asked, and you just nodded. “Can I take you home?”
Usually he drove you home, because your car was still at the mechanic and you refused to buy a new one. You always used the minutes you spent together to talk about something other than cases, they were moments of relaxation that you both appreciated. The big difference was that now you couldn't afford that luxury without feeling strange.
“Don't worry, I'll call a taxi.” You grabbed your jacket from a nearby locker. “I'm fine.” You added, with the intention of heading for the door until he stopped you by the wrist.
“Is everything okay...between us?” He asked as you looked up to meet his eyes. “Are you mad at me?”
“I'm sorry, what?” You said, feigning confusion. You always knew it was only a matter of time before he figured something was off with you. After all, he worked in profiling.
“Are you mad at me?” He asked again, in a lower voice, sounding a little more vulnerable than he'd intended. That instantly made you feel bad, you didn't want to hurt him with your confusion.
“No.”
He let out a sigh at your automatic response. His shoulders slumped a bit, and he felt a wave of relief for a few seconds. But then he looked into your eyes for a moment and hesitated, biting his lower lip.
“So...why are you looking at me like that?” He asked, sounding a little shy and with a hint of apprehension in his voice. “Or not looking at me at all.”
“I'm not doing anything.” You make excuses.
He got the chills when he heard your voice, which came across as cold and distant.
“You're giving me that look.”
You gave a little frown and folded your arms, as if to say you didn't agree.
“What look?"
“You look at me like I've done something wrong, like you're disappointed or angry...I think both. You barely look me in the eye, you walk away every time I want to talk to you, you don't sit near me on the jet or want to work with me anymore. And you've been like this for a week.” He paused for a second, remembering when your strange behavior started. “Ever since the L.A. case.”
The room was suddenly filled with silence and a palpable tension. You had been foolish to think Spencer wouldn't notice your remoteness, given his perceptive nature. But you didn't have a choice. You didn't want to appear jealous when you didn't even have feelings for him, you were just ovulating or something like that.
“Is it because...because of Lila? I heard Morgan say some things, and you haven't treated me the same since.” His wavering voice sounded more and more confident, as if he still had to convince himself of his point of view. “I want to know what you think, please.”
You could only curse Derek for exposing you like that. He was the only one who knew about your strange attraction to Reid because he had caught you looking at him several times and you had confessed it to him once in a bar after several drinks and a ridiculous game of cross questions. Since that night, the jokes and suggestions about making out with Spencer under a tree had begun.
But a beautiful actress did it before you, in her pool, with lots of pictures to prove it.
“I'm not one to tell you what to do, but I think your actions were unprofessional and most of all risky.” You spoke after a few seconds, clearing your throat and trying to contain the burning you felt. “It could have ended badly.”
Come on, you would have done the same thing. You often thought about what it would be like to kiss him in the middle of an investigation, especially when he kept giving important details. So you were a little hypocritical.
“I'm only saying that because I care about you.” You added, noticing how confused he looked.
“I know, I care about you too.” He replied calmly, taking a step toward you to touch your arm. “This has been bothering you?”
You froze at his warm touch and the implications you thought he was making about you, nodding as if hypnotized. Had he realized that you had been jealous all along? That you wanted to go back so he could kiss you and not her? That you wanted him to put his hands on your cheeks and kiss you deeply until you were breathless?
“I think I understand, but don't worry about me. I won't do anything dangerous anymore.”
Oh, he hadn't noticed.
Spencer really thought that you were just concerned about his safety because he was your friend and your partner on cases, that you were just frustrated that you weren't there to back him up in case things went wrong. It didn't even occur to him that it was something much deeper and more heated than that.
“So, all good?” He gave you a small smile that made your heart beat a little faster.
“Sure.” You lied, with a strange lump in your throat at the guarded words. “I just didn't know you liked blondes.” You added in a fake teasing tone.
Despite your clearly suspicious tone, Spencer laughed sheepishly. “Actually, I like your hair color.”
A strange bubbling sensation reached your stomach and made you smile.
“Mine?” You asked, lowering your gaze to the floor.
“Yes, it's like it's perfect for you.” He carefully brushed your hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear, causing the feeling in your stomach to identify itself as butterflies fluttering nonstop.
“You're telling me because I have a gun?” You tried to change the subject with a nervous laugh. “I'm not a celebrity, after all.”
“You don't have to be one to be as pretty as you are. But you could be if you wanted to, and...” He started to talk about statistics and a bunch of data you didn't even know, but strangely enough you didn't listen to him this time because you were stuck on the first sentence.
Spencer really thought you were pretty.
It was only then that you realized something had changed. The only successful shot had been Cupid's arrow to your heart.
Because, damn it, you were totally in love with that man.
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mariasont · 4 months
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Be So Stupid - S.R
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a/n: this has been sitting in my WIPs for so long and i finally finished it! now going to reward myself with online shopping xoxo
kind of inspired by when jj and reid split up in season 2 i think? when morgan was kinda being rude to her but i picture like season 12-13 spence
masterlist
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pairings: spencer reid x fem!reader
summary: you make a mistake while on a case nearly getting spencer killed, morgan has some choice words and spencer is ready to beat his ass over it
warnings: morgan being a little shit simply for the plot, mention of spencer almost dying, spencer being a protective king pussy boss
wc: 1.4k
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How could you be so stupid?
Those were the words that had been on replay, a constant loop, for the past two days. It's because, somewhere inside, you knew Morgan was justified in what he said. How could you have been so stupid to split up with Spencer at the unsubs house?
He was taken by the unsub, a trigger pull away from death. But the team got there, and he was okay. He was alive and breathing and healthy, and you tried to focus on these facts when your chest tightened with that familiar agonizing twinge.
It was a relief not to face anyone afterward. As soon as you got home from the case, you holed yourself up in your apartment, obsessively dissecting the events until the recollections twisted your insides with a nauseating sense of dread. You had run through every potential scenario in your head, agonizing over the grim outcomes if you hadn't arrived when you did.
You would've never forgiven yourself.
So here you were, hiding out in Penelope's lair, doing your paperwork. You convinced yourself it wasn't hiding; rationalizing it as a need for more peace and quiet than the bullpen could offer. You knew it was bullshit, and so did Garcia.
"Just so you know, I'm fully prepared to kick his ass on your behalf," she announced, swiveling to face her monitors, the ribbons in her hair trailing her movement like colorful comets. "It was totally uncalled for. Everyone agrees."
"Everyone?"
"Well, okay, not Spencer, but that's only because he doesn't know," Garcia continued, her pen tapping a silent code against her cheek, followed by the clack of keys. "If he did, he'd definitely kick his ass."
"I don't know about that," you said, repeatedly stretching and releasing the hair tie around your wrist, each snap a self-inflicted reprimand.
"He called you stupid." She was shaking her head so vigorously her blonde locks tumbled into her eyes as she paused her typing to look at you. "And you, my gorgeous friend, are anything but."
"Generally speaking, sure, but this time, Pen, I really screwed up."
"Who called you stupid?"
Spencer's voice was incredibly hard to ignore, distinct—you would recognize it anywhere.
Garcia and you stopped dead, your eyes growing impossibly large as she gave you a look as if to say, Morgan is screwed.
"No one."
"Morgan."
You and Garcia blurt your words out at the same time, your voices clashing in the air. You whipped your head to Garcia, the betrayal written on your face as she only shrugged her shoulders.
"Why would he say that to you?"
Spencer's steps towards you were measured, but each one amplified your unease, you hands wringing together as you looked away. He could read you like a book, and most times that was a good thing, but today it was definitely not.
"It's really not a big deal, Spencer," you insisted, pursing you lips as you dragged your gaze up and over him. "But how about you? How are you holding up?"
You were on your feet in an instant, a little too quickly, wobbling on your heel just a tab before Spencer grabbed your elbow. You ignore his touch, or at least you try, and press the back of your hand to his forehead.
He wasn't warm, but you sure were.
"You know, I don't think you should be back at work so soon."
You weren't lying when you said that. It seemed to soon. Was he looking a little pale? You couldn't tell. He should be home.
His hand was suddenly around your wrist, soft but firm, easing you away from his forehead, his eyes narrowing at you.
"Hey, I'm alright." He was trying to be assuring, offering a faint smile that only served to make your stomach do backflips. "Really, I am."
His fingers frapped around your wrist, not quite letting go, as he directed his attention to Garcia. "Why did he say that to her?"
"I'm right here," you grumbled under your breath, but Spencer was paying you no mind.
"I'm aware," Spencer answered without looking at you as his hands found their way to your shoulders, thumbs tracing absent patterns on your skin. "But you are not providing any answers."
Garcia cut in, folding her arms over her chest as her eyes pinned you with an unspoken accusation. "He said it because you two split up on the case."
Her words seemed to thicken the air itself, snatching away the previous ease as Spencer's expression darkened. It was a new and unsettling sight--the tightness in his jaw, the faint crease in his brows, and the steely sharpness in his eyes.
Without uttering a single syllable, he spun on his heel and strode out the door. You didn't hesitate to chase after him, an inkling of his destination propelling you forward. The look on his face had planted a seed of fear about what he was going to do.
Sure enough, there he was, just as you anticipated, in the middle of the bull pit. His gaze locked on Morgan with a laser-like precision, like a hawk eyeing its prey.
"How could you say that to her?" His voice was jagged, hands thumping against Morgan's shoulders in a way that you frantically looked around for Hotch. "What? Were you trying to make her feel bad? What's the matter with you?"
"Easy, Spencer, what are you getting at?" Morgan's hands went up defensively. But when Spencer's eyes flickered to you, the puzzle pieces clicked into place. "Oh..."
Morgan's eyes found yours. "Come here, sugar."
Morgan was your friend, a good one at that, and you really didn't blame him for what he said. He had good intentions. But here in the bullpen being open and exposed you found yourself stalling, glancing towards Spencer.
Only after he gave you a nod did you take that tentative step forward, clammy palms running down your pants as you stood in front of Morgan.
"Look, I was out of line. Calling you stupid was stupid of me," he started, hand grabbing on your upper arm as he spoke. "We've all been in tough spots and I was an asshole for adding to the pressure instead of helping you through it."
And you knew he meant it, even if it took Spencer nearly coming to blows to bring it about. 
"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it, Morgan. And it was my fault really, for not staying with Spencer."
"First off, we made that call together, so if anyone's at fault, it's both of us," Spencer reminded, his hand settling on your lower back as he moved closer to you. His gaze then drilled into Morgan. "And second, Morgan, she's too nice. I say you owe her a month's work of paperwork at least."
You opened your mouth to object, but Morgan cut you off, his hand on your shoulder stopping me mid-breath. "After what I said? I'll do you one better--I'll handle your paperwork for two months."
He was gone before you could even thank him, making his way towards the break room, leaving you and Spencer.
"Hey, look at me." You did, raising your eyes to meet his. "What happened on that last case—it's not on you. We made a call, and we did it with the best intentions. It's not your fault."
He regarded you so... softly. It stirred a flutter of goosebumps across your skin, your hands rubbing up and down your arms as if to smooth away the sensation.
"Seeing you in that situation, so close to..." You paused, drawing in a ragged breath as the sickening memories came flooding back. "I can't help but feel responsible. It's a tough guilt to shake."
He rearranged a lock of hair behind your ear. 
"It's a cognitive distortion to assume sole responsibility, but that's just your brain tricking you." Taking your hand he pressed it over his heart. "A human heart beats over two billion times in a lifetime. And every beat right now is telling you, I'm all good."
You could feel his heartbeat—thump, thump—against your palm. You caught yourself wanting to know what it would be like to fall asleep to the sound.
You were so close to each other now, the distance, or lack thereof, slightly overwhelming. "You're all good?"
He gave your hand a squeeze. "I'm all good."
You remained motionless, hand pressed to his chest, wondering if your heart could ever beat in sync with his.
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taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf @sarcasm-and-stiles @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath
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