#and the things and people that i can have by relying on my looks do not hold much value anyways

[drdemonprince]

another thing on this front. My bent towards self denial is unhinged. I'll have tons of anxiety coursing through my body making my stomach all tight all day all week, and not let myself smoke a single weed in all that time, because I don't want to need it. I don't want to be one of those people that needs things ( this is all human beings ). I don't want to worsen my tolerance. I'm like pathologically terrified of increasing my weed tolerance and so I really clench on myself and bar myself from having it too often. I don't know why I even got this in my head but I just have these rule sets for how often I can have it, and how I can only have it in a recreational way when I could take it or leave it, not when I need it. because I don't want to get into the habit of relying on it. where do I get this fucking stuff. The second I like something or desire something I am immediately looking for a long list of reasons why I should not engage with it, and invent circumstances that would allow me to briefly get it, conditions that I have to meet. I think like this about basically everything.

[mscherub]

Clinging for (Emotional) Support

Prefect needs a bit of a break after a stressful day, so they seek out their favorite person…

Reader is gender neutral, referred to as Prefect or Y/N

Warnings!: The Leech Twins… :)

These are just my headcanons!

Tags: Fluff, romantic or platonic (perceive it whichever way you’d like to), hugs and cuddles, comfort

Heartslabyul; Savanaclaw; Octavinelle (you’re here :3), Scarabia; Pomefiore; Ignihyde; Diasomnia(TBD)

Intro:

You’ve had a bad day, well, a worse one than usual, and you feel like you’re on the verge of crashing out. So, you go to one of your favorite people and you cling to them for some emotional support, not doing anything else besides holding on for dear life and nuzzling your face into their chest or shoulder, not providing one bit of information as to why you’re even doing this. But, don’t worry, they care for you a lot, maybe more so than they let on <3

Riddle 🌹:

He doesn’t take to well to it at first

When you come to him looking all stressed out, he’ll obviously offer you some support and offer to talk with him about whatever is bothering you, but when you shake your head and instead wrap your arms around him and burry your face in wherever it can reach, he freezes up

“Prefect! Why are you doing this? Th-this is unacceptable! This is improper!”

He’ll turn bright red, not out of anger but out of embarrassment of the whole situation

He still won’t be totally used to it even when you keep it up, genuinely confused as to why you chose him out of all people and more importantly, keep coming back to him, but he won’t admit to it, it also helps him calm down too when you hold on

On rare occasions when he’s not too busy with other things and you two are in a more secluded place, he’ll hug you back

“Agh- again, Prefect? A little warning next time before you get all handsy with me…are you alright, though? Don’t be stressed, you’re as lovely as a rose, don’t begin to wilt simply because of a setback.”

Trey ♣️:

People rely on him, yes, but you’ve brought it to a whole new level here, like, you’re physically leaning on him now

At first he just laughs out of being surprised, but when he sees you hugging him tighter, your brows furrowed in clear stress, he’ll stop and ask what’s going on

“Hah! What’s this— oh…hey, look at me, are you ok? Do you want a sweet treat?”

He’ll wrap his arms back around you without a second thought, gently rubbing your back as well to add that extra boost of comfort

He has younger siblings so of course he’s well off in a situation like this, basically second nature at this point for him

If he’s baking, he may not have time for you to cling to him like you’d want, so he’ll apologize when he’s done with one of the baked goods and by letting you stick by him as long as you want, but he’ll try and make the time for you always

“Prefect…it’ll be alright. Want a tart? They’re freshly made, as always…anything to help you feel better.”

Cater ♦️:

Heyyy! There you are! Oh…why are you looking at him like that…that’s not good, you don’t look to good, emotionally wise…

As soon as you wrap your arms around him he’ll tense up. He’ll awkwardly look down at you and quirk an eyebrow

He’s no stranger to the emotions of people around him so he can tell something is up fairly quickly with the people close around him

“What’s wrong? Do you need Cay-kun to come to the rescue— no jokes…ok, gotcha. Spill it, Prefect, what’s the matter?”

He’s gentle about it, this type of support he learned from his sisters

He’ll lead you off to a more quieter place and just chill out with you until you either tell him what’s wrong or let go of him

He’ll try and cheer you up with taking pictures with funny filters on, if that doesn’t work, he has other methods. Maybe see what’s the spiciest thing he can eat? If you laugh at him tearing and snotting up from it, it’s worth the pain

“Ahhh, what am I gonna do with you? Wanna see Cay-Kun looking all stupid with this filter? Did you smile finally? Aweee, you’re adorbs, Prefect, smile again for me, I need to celebrate you feeling better with a post on my page!”

Ace ❤️:

He’ll try and push you off at first, he didn’t exactly see your expression so he’ll try and pry your arms off of him, huffing while doing so

Like why are you clinging to him? Hello? Earth to Prefect, get off of him now!

once he realizes there’s something up he’ll stop with trying to push you away and he’ll go quiet, awkwardly standing there and mumbling before he finally asks if something’s up

“Aye! What’s this? Get off of meeeeeee, Prefect, let go, why are you doing this— oh…um…so…are you…ok?”

He’s going to try and tease you at first, it’s an Ace thing, so don’t take it to heart, but if you won’t let up he’ll try and be a little more considerate

He’ll pat your back in an unsure manner, not quite knowing what to do, but when you don’t ease up, he decides maybe it’s best to take some action

If you want to see some magic tricks to cheer you up he’ll do it, but you gotta let go— no? Ok…he can do something else to make you better then

Reassuring words are rare from him, but he cares a lot for you, so he’ll spare a few

“Hey, it’ll be alright. Whatever happened just know I’m always here, even if I may seem like an ass half the time— ok…of course I can be honest about myself from time to time. Oh hushhhhh…I’ve got you, I just want you to be happy, smile again, looks better on you.”

Deuce ♠️:

Cue confused noises coming from him, he won’t exactly question what you’re doing, but he will he going through a whole bunch of different scenarios through his head as to why you are doing this

When he sees you’re not your normal self, the lightbulb will go off in his head and he’ll ask how you’re doing

“Uh…prefect? Are you alright? Talk to me here, what’s up? Are you hurt? No? Answer me here…”

He’ll hug you back, albeit tentatively as hell, but he doesn’t want to do anything wrong and he doesn’t want to do something that’ll upset you more, which him not doing anything might actually upset you more— anyways

He’ll keep talking to you to try and get you to rant about whatever you’re finding particularly stressful at the moment. And no, he totally won’t threaten anybody if that’s the cause of your stress, don’t think like that—

“You sure you’re ok? You’re stressed because…of a person? Prefect, I can handle them— ok, never mind. Sorry…I’ll stay right here, don’t worry. By your side as long as you want me to be. Protecting you as long as you need me to…I’ll stop being cringey…”

Leona 🦁:

Glares at you because you’re in his personal space, like what are you doing?

He can sense something is off though, it’s not that hard to tell when you wrap your arms around him and cling on for dear life like he’s gonna slip away at any moment

He’ll make a small huff and his tail will flick a few times before he asks what’s up

“Herbivore…what’s this for? Never thought you were this bold to be glued to a predator like this…not in a laughing mood, huh? Tell me what’s wrong, then get off me, I’m trying to sleep…”

Sorry not sorry, but everyone knows Leona is a dick most times, just a given fact, but in all honesty, when it comes do you he does care, even though his words sound lacking of it, he only means good

He won’t push you off, he’ll let you stick to him…actually, you know what, why not just stay with him and take a nap? I think it’d better the both of you, and you’d have time to wind down while also being with him

Few words are shared between you, but you have a cuddly lion now, so…there’s that

Win win, no?

“Mmm, no, you don’t have to go…just stay here. I’m not a complete ass, I know when someone needs a little help. Relax…no literally relax you’re moving around too much, Herbivore…”

Ruggie 💰:

Boy is he confused

Honestly, at first, bro thought he was getting robbed by someone, but when he seen it was you, he got all happy and started teasing you like normal

Then when he watches you burry your face into his clothes he knows something is not right. He’s…worried but doesn’t really know how to convey it

“Hey! Oh, prefect! Miss me that much? Shyeheehee!! Hmmm? Heyyy, what’s up with that look? Huh?”

Now he’ll try and cheer you up

His methods are a little quirky, but he’ll offer to buy you something with Leona’s money, let me rephrase, get you both something to snack on with Leona’s money

You can still chill with him, he enjoys it

“Leona’s asleep, I can go snag his wallet and I can score us something at Sam’s shop…I’ll buy the more expensive one this time I guess if it’ll cheer you up…don’t make me use Laugh with Me on you just to see you smile again— Shyeheehee! I’m messing with ya!”

Jack 🐺:

Stiffens up quite quickly. He’ll look down at you and wonder what the hell you’re trying to do but then he’ll realize that you’re not exactly at your best in this moment, he can basically feel it radiating off of you

His ears will flatten against his head, betraying how he feels almost right away.

His words are simple and few, but he does mean well and has good intentions

“What’s wrong? Why are you…so are you ok? No? Ok…can I do something to help?”

He likes to help those he holds close to him, so of course he’ll try and comfort you to the best of his abilities. You want to pet his tail? That may be a little too far—

Fine…he can let you, just this once, but if anyone sees it’s over!

“Prefect…how can I help cheer you up? I don’t think my tail is a great option…it is? I…fine, just this once I guess, if it’ll help cheer you up.”

Azul 🐙:

This is…not what he intended to happen upon seeing you, yea, no…he already has Floyd to worry about now apparently you? Yea…he stiffens up and kinda just stands there, sputtering nonsense, and then trying to push you off of him

He’ll finally take the hint when you just hug him tighter after he fails to get you off. He still won’t calm down that much

Might try and pull the business move on you, especially since you’re in such an emotionally weakened state…he won’t he would

“Prefect! I— what is— no! Hey— you…what…I don’t condone this! You’re…not ok. What do you expect me to do? Wait…actually, why don’t you come back to my office and we can discuss what I could do to assuage your ailments— no then…”

He’s kinda flattered you chose him, but it’s not like he’s really…great at comforting, he’ll try his best. You’ll have to pay him back for it later on your own time

He’ll try and talk to you about it, I don’t really see him trying to touch you or comfort you in any other way. To him, words can go a long way to help someone

“You’re in need, and that’s what our dorm specializes in the best. Can you talk about what is bothering you? I won’t use it against you…I promise. I’m not that bad. Talk to me, it’ll help clear your mind”

(Be careful, blackmail is a good thing to have, he might use whatever you say against you…)

Jade 🫧:

He’ll eerily smile at you at first, he stated he gets overheated easily so…hugs are not really preferred, but he’ll entertain you

He’s not exactly confused, rather intrigued by the whole thing. Why are you clinging to him? Exactly, why him? It’s rather interesting, and almost pathetic in his eyes, but it makes the situation all the more sweet, in his own twisted way

He’ll notice you’re out of it and gently put one hand on the small of your back, that’s the furthest he’ll go

“Oya? Hmmm…fu fu fu, this is quite interesting, no? What is it you need, Prefect? You know the motto of our dorm. I’m willing to assist in whatever you’d need…”

Like I’ve mentioned before…he likes to be relied on. So he kinda likes the situation. He’ll stay with you as long as time permits him. His smile is…far from his normal polite one.

“Prefect? You may talk to me about whatever is troubling you, but I know some humans prefer not to. You can stay by me as long as you need, but just know I may have to get to work soon. For now, however, my time is yours…”

(Y’ALL WHAT DID U EXPECT ME TO SAY, THE TWINS, as much as I love my babies 😭, THEY ARE FAR FROM INNOCENT)

Floyd 🫧:

Oh boy…

Well, here’s the thing, Floyd loves to squeeze people, but the other way around? He doesn’t prefer it…but you are his Shrimpy, so he’ll give you a pass…maybe, depending on his mood

He’ll look at you and laugh. Damn you look almost desperate. He lets you cling to him for a bit before he squeezes you back. Maybe you needed one of his “hugs” anyways…let’s just say he’s in a good mood this time

“Heh! Shrimpy…what are you doing? Oh? You seem sad…don’t be sad Shrimpy~! I can squeeze ya back too! See?”

He’s all over you, hugging, squeezing, nuzzling his face against yours. He’s all giggles, his Shrimpy is squeezing him first. It’s funny! It’s like you’re challenging him or something…

You never fail to cause trouble or stir fun around him, so he’ll stick around for a bit until it gets boring for him. Which in all honesty, it won’t.

Never boring with you around!

“Shrimpy! Aweee, cheer up! I’ll just squeeze ya harder, yea? If it helps ya feel better I will…just don’t squeeze me back too hard, you might hurt me…”

I fear my favoritism for Octavinelle always shines through…<3

Master List

Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!

Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)

[mariacallous]

Perhaps you’ve heard: Young people aren’t dating anymore. News media and social media are awash in commentary about the decline in youth romance. It’s visible in the corporate data, with dating-app engagement taking a hit. And it’s visible in the survey data, where the share of 12th graders who say they’ve dated has fallen from about 85 percent in the 1980s to less than 50 percent in the early 2020s, with the decline particularly steep in the past few years.

Naturally, young people’s habits are catnip to news commentators. But although I consider the story of declining youth romance important, I don’t find it particularly mysterious. In my essay on the anti-social century, I reported that young people have retreated from all manner of physical-world relationships, whether because of smartphones, over-parenting, or a combination of factors. Compared with previous generations of teens, they have fewer friends, spend significantly less time with the friends they do have, attend fewer parties, and spend much more time alone. Romantic relationships theoretically imply a certain physicality; so it’s easy to imagine that the collapse of physical-world socializing for young people would involve the decline of romance.

Adults have a way of projecting their anxieties and realities onto their children. In the case of romance, the fixation on young people masks a deeper—and, to me, far more mysterious—phenomenon: What is happening to adult relationships?

American adults are significantly less likely to be married or to live with a partner than they used to be. The national marriage rate is hovering near its all-time low, while the share of women under 65 who aren’t living with a partner has grown steadily since the 1980s. The past decade seems to be the only period since at least the 1970s when women under 35 were more likely to live with their parents than with a spouse.

People’s lives are diverse, and so are their wants and desires and circumstances. It’s hard, and perhaps impossible, to identify a tiny number of factors that explain hundreds of millions of people’s decisions to couple up, split apart, or remain single. But according to Lyman Stone, a researcher at the Institute for Family Studies, the most important reason marriage and coupling are declining in the U.S. is actually quite straightforward: Many young men are falling behind economically.

A marriage or romantic partnership can be many things: friendship, love, sex, someone to gossip with, someone to remind you to take out the trash. But, practically speaking, Stone told me, marriage is also insurance. Women have historically relied on men to act as insurance policies—against the threat of violence, the risk of poverty. To some, this might sound like an old-fashioned, even reactionary, description of marriage, but its logic still applies. “Men’s odds of being in a relationship today are still highly correlated with their income,” Stone said. “Women do not typically invest in long-term relationships with men who have nothing to contribute economically.” In the past few decades, young and especially less educated men’s income has stagnated, even as women have charged into the workforce and seen their college-graduation rates soar. For single non-college-educated men, average inflation-adjusted earnings at age 45 have fallen by nearly 25 percent in the past half century, while for the country as a whole, average real earnings have more than doubled. As a result, “a lot of young men today just don’t look like what women have come to think of as ‘marriage material,’” he said.

In January, the Financial Times’ John Burn-Murdoch published an analysis of the “relationship recession” that lent strong support to Stone’s theory. Contrary to the idea that declining fertility in the U.S. is mostly about happily childless DINKs (dual-income, no-kid couples), “the drop in relationship formation is steepest among the poorest,” he observed. I asked Burn-Murdoch to share his analysis of Current Population Survey data so that I could take a closer look. What I found is that, in the past 40 years, coupling has declined more than twice as fast among Americans without a college degree, compared with college graduates. This represents a dramatic historic inversion. In 1980, Americans ages 25 to 34 without a bachelor’s degree were more likely than college graduates to get married; today, it’s flipped, and the education gap in coupling is widening every year. Marriage produces wealth by pooling two people’s income, but, conversely, wealth also produces marriage.

Contraception technology might also play a role. Before cheap birth control became widespread in the 1970s, sexual activity was generally yoked to commitment: It was a cultural norm for a man to marry a girl if he’d gotten her pregnant, and single parenthood was uncommon. But as the (married!) economists George Akerlof and Janet Yellen observed in a famous 1996 paper, contraception helped disentangle sex and marriage. Couples could sleep together without any implicit promise to stay together. Ultimately, Akerlof and Yellen posit, the availability of contraception, which gave women the tools to control the number and the timing of their kids, decimated the tradition of shotgun marriages, and therefore contributed to an increase in children born to low-income single parents.

The theory that the relationship recession is driven by young men falling behind seems to hold up in the U.S. But what about around the world? Rates of coupling are declining throughout Europe, as well. In England and Wales, the marriage rate for people under 30 has declined by more than 50 percent since 1990.

And it’s not just Europe. The gender researcher Alice Evans has shown that coupling is down just about everywhere. In Iran, annual marriages plummeted by 40 percent in 10 years. Some Islamic authorities blame Western values and social media for the shift. They might have a point. When women are exposed to more Western media, Evans argues, their life expectations expand. Fitted with TikTok and Instagram and other windows into Western culture, young women around the world can seek the independence of a career over the codependency (or, worse, the outright loss of freedom) that might come with marriage in their own country. Social media, a woman veterinarian in Tehran told the Financial Times, also glamorizes the single life “by showing how unmarried people lead carefree and successful lives … People keep comparing their partners to mostly fake idols on social platforms.”

According to Evans, several trends are driving this global decline in coupling. Smartphones and social media may have narrowed many young people’s lives, pinning them to their couches and bedrooms. But they’ve also opened women’s minds to the possibility of professional and personal development. When men fail to support their dreams, relationships fail to flourish, and the sexes drift apart.

If I had to sum up this big messy story in a sentence, it would be this: Coupling is declining around the world, as women’s expectations rise and lower-income men’s fortunes fall; this combination is subverting the traditional role of straight marriage, in which men are seen as necessary for the economic insurance of their family.

So why does all this matter? Two of the more urgent sociological narratives of this moment are declining fertility and rising unhappiness. The relationship recession makes contact with both. First, marriage and fertility are tightly interconnected. Unsurprisingly, one of the strongest predictors of declining fertility around the world is declining coupling rates, as Burn-Murdoch has written. Second, marriage is strongly associated with happiness. According to General Social Survey data, Americans’ self-described life satisfaction has been decreasing for decades. In a 2023 analysis of the GSS data, the University of Chicago economist Sam Peltzman concluded that marriage was more correlated with this measure of happiness than any other variable he considered, including income. (As Stone would rush to point out here, marriage itself is correlated with income.)

The social crisis of our time is not just that Americans are more socially isolated than ever, but also that social isolation is rising alongside romantic isolation, as the economic and cultural trajectories of men and women move in opposite directions. And, perhaps most troubling, the Americans with the least financial wealth also seem to have the least “social wealth,” so to speak. It is the poor, who might especially need the support of friends and partners, who have the fewest close friends and the fewest long-term partners. Money might not buy happiness, but it can buy the things that buy happiness.

[blueesnow]

Jinguji Ren's Birthday (Year 1) Voicelines Translation.

-You can look at it again on the Event Log, Mini-Event section (for the other boys messages to him) and Talk section (for a one-on-one conversation with you and him) in Idol Page.

-Also the translations might not be fully accurate since I'm not that fluent on jp/en, so if i ever made a mistake do correct me🙏

<You (Player)> Ren: Thank you, Lady. I feel like I'm going crazy from all of the overwhelming love I'm getting from you. Ren: In addition to feeling giddy with happiness, a greedy thought also comes to mind. Like how I don't want to give you to anyone, for example.

<Otoya> Otoya: Happy Birthday! Ren is so mature that I tend to rely on you for help. You look cool too, I'm so jealous~ Ren: Thank you. …You give me too much praise. I'm sure there are many aspects only you can have, Ikki.

<Masato> Masato: I will offer you my sincere blessing at least on your birthday. Happy Birthday, Jinguji. I hope you have a wonderful day. Ren: That's quite unexpected. Are you plotting something? …Oh well, let me say thank you. In between our unfortunate but inseparable relationship.

<Natsuki> Natsuki: Happy Birthday. We're both an Onii-san among everyone. Let's do our best together! Ren: You're right, I'm sure I could become a good "Onii-san" with Shinomi. How about we hold a meeting between the two of us right now?

<Tokiya> Tokiya: Happy Birthday, Ren. I'm always grateful of your nonchalant attention. Ren: Thank you. I also like the easy-going relationship I have with Icchi. Let's go out together again.

<Syo> Syo: Happy Birthday! You always look so picturesque huh, Ren~ I'll be using you as a reference again. Ren: Sure, if you're fine with me. How about we go shopping? I'd like you to pick out some clothes for me too.

<Cecil> Cecil: Happy Birthday, Ren! Ren is always so kind. You're a wonderful person I look up to. Ren: You're praising me too much. But, thanks. It must be because of Cesshi's honesty that I'm like that.

<Reiji> Reiji: Happy Birthday, Ren-Ren☆ Rei-chan will play with you to celebrate~♪ How about we go surfing! Ren: I'm no match for you. You make me want to go right away if you invite me like that. Thank you, let's set up a date.

<Ranmaru> Ranmaru: Happy Birthday. You might be cheeky, but you always do everything that needs to be done. I think that's one of your good strengths. Ren: Thank you, Ran-chan. Despite what you say, your kindness haven't changed at all since the old days.

<Ai> Ai: Happy Birthday, Ren. Not only in real life, but I will also celebrate it once again in the game. Wait for it. Ren: I'm flattered. I love playing game with Aimi too. I can't wait until I log in to the game.

<Camus> Camus: Happy Birthday. I shall continue to make use of you as an outstanding chauffeur from now on. You should feel honored. Ren: Hehe, that means you enjoy going out with me, right? Sure, I'll accompany you anywhere you want.

<Eiichi> Eiichi: Happy Birthday. I think your beautiful manners is one of your strong points that I should learn more from. Ren: Thank you. Perhaps, it's because you're a leader, but you always pay close attention to things in details, huh.

<Kira> Kira: Happy Birthday… The way you look during work… and how you would sometimes show your true self. Either of them… have the power to charm people. Ren: I'm flattered to hear your earnest praise. Likewise, I think you have a good contrast in your personality as well.

<Nagi> Nagi: You're always playing a sexy role, how about you learn to be cute once in a while? Since it's your birthday, Nagi will teach you! Ren: Learning how to be cute, huh. It seems quite interesting. Thank you. Could I ask you for help right away?

<Eiji> Eiji: Happy Birthday. If you don't mind, I could tell you about my recommended spicy food restaurants. Ren: Thank you. That's a very interesting topic. Since you like cooking, I suppose that means you know a lot about it?

<Van> Van: Happy Birthday! You like card games, right? It would be fun to try it with 18 of us! Ren: That's an interesting idea! I'll have to check out what we can do with a big number of people. …Oh, I won't hand over the victory to you.

<Yamato> Yamato: Happy Birthday! You have such a strong core. Are darts good for building muscles? Ren: Thank you. Although it mainly uses one arm, it's also some sort of whole workout, so maybe it does.

<Shion> Shion: Happy Birthday. I could feel your deep love for everyone… from the way you carried yourself on stage. It was magnificent… Ren: Thank you. It makes me really happy to hear that from someone who makes his own atmosphere with his unique worldview.

[egophiliac]

do you have youtube channel?

technically yes, but I just use it to host unlisted videos for embedding, so there's nothing, like, public on it. :') sorry! I basically don't post anywhere except here and occasionally on pixiv (in case it's not obvious, I suck at social media).

[amidnightqueery]

I don't hate my job or anything, but man, being a float educator is so fucking thankless

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[luvsavos]

every time i see anything saying shara's eyes are concave and/or don't move and the camera tracking is just an illusion i feel a little more of my sanity slip. its eyes do move. you could say that its eyes moving was actually quite highlighted in the post-fight cutscene. you also watch it stare down the hunters and then do the smooth eye tracking to ruiner nergigante. it's not that hard in a game to set the camera as the thing the eyes track. shara's just Like That.

[scientologyblows]

okay but lets be very serious here right now, when they release a statement what exactly is that gonna change? don admitted to him and lex having intercourse (which shows that he coerced her) and matt and ryans texts show that the situation was handled VERY poorly. an apology isnt enough for the trauma they both have caused

[nonsensechemicals]

covert npd is awesome and i want to live and i’m going to listen to song about pirates

[j-esbian]

thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up

[seilon]

pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah

con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines

[panspy]

hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[pyrriax]

hi everyone remind me to never look at deviantart again

[katyspersonal]

[anyoldfandom]

I am so. So fucking tired. And so fucking sorry.

I am so sorry to everyone else who feels as if they have to do something good for the world. Everyone who can't afford nihilism even when they're depressed, everyone who knows they must make sacrifices for the greater good. I'm so sorry to all the activists who never wanted to be activists. Everyone who wanted to do something else yet knows now they can't. To everyone in the position where they can make a sacrifice, who knows they must, even with how much it hurts, because those who could so easily change the world for the better refuse to do so. That we have to suffer and fight and scream because of their tradition, their profits, their bigotry, that they refuse to let go.

I'm so sorry to everyone who believes in hope because giving up is too horrifying. I'm so sorry for all the comments of those telling you you're brave, and strong, and noble for doing this - yet are unwilling to do anything to help. Those that comment on your work, how important it is, those that think it is passion that drives you forwards when it is fear. Because we are told, implicitly, that our fear and pain are not desirable. That they are not how to reach people, how to make true change.

Those of us who had other dreams we gave up on. Things we love that have been relegated to hobbies because the change we need to make is more important. Those of us who have curled up and cried with our hopelessness yet still have to get up each day and try. Because there is nothing left to do but try.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry the world is like this. I'm sorry that we have to fight so that one day, others might not. I'm sorry that we may never see the fruits of our labors, that there may not be a future to look forwards to, despite all our efforts.

I'm sorry that we have no choice but to try.