#silmarillion humor

[thetiredprometheus]

Slay King? Oh no, you misheard me, I said slay kin

(Sound of killing fellow elves and burning ships intensifies)

[hwestalas]

VeggieTales x Beleg Strongbow Day 1

I planned to do another spoof on "Billy Joe McGuffrey" for Comfortember last month, and I wrote two verses halfway through September. But then I had an idea for illustrating them... and I'm very slow at art. So if I do more of these (I do have plans for the second, too) I'll probably post them at random times. Anyway, here's the first!

Now, my hero Beleg Strongbow is a really crazy elf.

No matter what the others say, he just acts like himself.

His clothes are all in camo, and yet everywhere he goes,

He wears these crimson slippers with weird… long… flamboyant toes.

And he’ll just wink

At what we think;

Yes, he’ll just wink

At what we think.

If I could do like him, I would be just so tickled pink.

Eventually, I got so tired I scribbled out something like my idea during an online class. It was very refreshing to draw!

Then, yesterday (Friday the 13th - how's that for a counterexample to superstition? 🥳) I finally finished the drawing as I originally envisioned it!

[lasolorien]

Overlooked humor in the Silmarillion (okay in some cases my giggling may be a shock reaction or I just have a really messed-up sense of humor or both but bear with me)

- the Discord of Melkor

- Míriel being so exhausted from carrying and birthing Fëanor that she, an immortal being, invents dying

- Nerdanel has more kids than she is willing to come up with names for

- Fëanor pestering Galadriel for her hair and her subsequently unfriending her forever

- the entire story of Melkor and Ungoliant

- Tulkas

- Nienna

- the name "Gothmog"

- No one ever listens to Mandos

- No one ever listens to Melian

- Celegorm and Curufin actually thinking kidnapping and marrying Lúthien is a good idea

- Túrin chasing Saeros through the forest naked

Off the top of my head. What am I missing?

[silmarillion-ways-to-die]

This meme is relevant to my interests.

[silme-lorien]

when is legolas finding the time to braid his hair. like i know that shit got fucked up after every battle. imagine boromir getting increasingly annoyed at legolas for doing his hair every morning and gimli and aragorn defending him because they know the importance of hair/braids to elves

[trash-ainu]

Eru: Here are all the resplendent Valar whom you may serve. This is Manwë, whose domain is Air, the very Breath of Arda. This is Yavanna, Giver of Fruits and Queen of Earth. But I think for you, most fitting would be Aulë the Smith, who—

Mairon, pointing at Melkor: I want that one.

Eru: Him?!

The rest of the Valar: Him?!

Melkor, in the background, choking on the water he was drinking straight from a flower vase: Me?!

[daily-smol-silm]

Day #200 - 200!!

Maedhros is here to celebrate the 200th day of this blog :D

[braxix]

Erestor: Name one thing!

Glorfindel: Rocks.

Elrond: That ones good. Mine was the ineradicability of hope despite the futilty of effort.

Glorfindel: Actually rocks is more than one thing...

[aylen-san]

A Dance Under the Moon

When Maedhros came to Elwing for the Silmaril, he expected a battle, arguments, and threats. But the offer he received surprised him. With a mischievous smile, Elwing said: "I will give you the Silmaril if you win it the way Luthien did - through song and dance."

Maedhros was stunned. "You want me to... dance?" - His voice trembled with a mixture of confusion and slight panic.

Elwing nodded, her eyes shining. "That's exactly right. If you can enchant me as Luthien enchanted Morgoth, the stone is yours."

Maedhros was about to refuse, but Maglor, seeing a chance to avoid bloodshed, immediately agreed. The twins, always ready to support a merry venture, agreed as well.

"Well then, brother, you have been offered the bargain of the century! If Luthien could defeat Morgoth in a dance, so can you."

Maedhros sighed heavily. "Lúthien was a great dancer. And me? The last time I danced was at Turucano's wedding," he muttered frustratedly.

But Maglor was determined. "Don't worry, I'll help you remember the lessons of our childhood. We practiced for days and nights, and I'm sure you'll still remember how to move."

The next days passed in a training that sometimes resembled a play rather than a serious lesson. Maglor picked up the most difficult melodies with enthusiasm, and as he strummed the strings he never missed an opportunity to tease his brother, "More grace, brother, you're not in a tournament with orcs in Angband!"

Maedhros, hurt but trying not to show it, would turn sharply and remind him, "I am trying to dance, not play peacock. But as soon as he started moving again, Maglor didn't give up: "And don't forget to smile! No magic works without charm!" - he said with such seriousness that Maedhros could barely contain his laughter.

When his attempts to smile and not get tangled up in complicated steps failed, Maedhros snorted in annoyance, "This is a dance, not a carnival act!" But even he couldn't resist his brother's infectious laughter as he exaggerated "grace" and whirled around like a whirlwind, eyes wide open and a fake smile on his face. "This is it, Maedhros! All of Middle-earth will give you a standing ovation!"

The night of the test had come. The moon rose high in the sky, its light silvery on the shore and the calm waters. Elwing stood on a high rock, holding the Silmaril, which shone like a star. Maedhros took a deep breath and took the first step, hoping not to step on his cloak.

Elwing watched with interest, barely containing her laughter as Maedhros, performing another complicated pas, nearly tripped over an invisible rock. His attempt to regain his balance looked more like trying to jump an entire chasm. "Impressive," Elwing remarked with a mischievous smile, tilting her head slightly, "almost like Luthien... if she were a very tired and irritable elf."

Maedhros blinked at the comparison and whispered, covering his mouth with his hand, "Try that again!" The attempt to remain serious failed, and he almost laughed, feeling the tension of the dance turn into ridiculous fun.

Toward the end of the dance, Maedhros moved more carefully, as if afraid he might stumble again and lose the last vestiges of his dignity. Eventually, the music faded, and he straightened and made a deep bow, both weary and relieved.

Elwing, shaking her head slightly at his stubbornness and persistence, slowly descended from the podium. Respect glowed in her eyes, despite the hidden irony. Holding out the Silmaril with a slight smile, she acknowledged, "You have earned it, though not as gracefully as Luthien, but with no less tenacity.

Maedhros accepted the gem and nodded briefly, but could not resist adding: "If my dancing were as good as my fighting, the Silmaril would have been mine long ago."

Turning back to his brother, Maedhros leaned closer and lowered his voice to a threatening whisper, "If any of our people find out that I won the Silmaril by dancing, I will be your greatest nightmare. His gaze was serious, but the shadow of a smile lurked at the corners of his lips.

Maglor, his eyes bright with glee, could barely contain his laughter as he watched his brother struggle to keep his pride intact. He leaned closer as if to share the action, "Oh, don't worry," he replied with a smile, emphasizing the light and good-natured tone, "I promise to tell this story to anyone who will listen, especially those who worship legends of heroism and bravery. Maglor waved his hand theatrically, as if already imagining stories around the campfire where Maedhros' dance would become a new epic.

Maedhros frowned, but there was a gleam of amusement in his eyes. "Don't you dare turn this into a ballad," he added grimly, but there was no real threat in his voice.

Maglor bowed his head innocently, as if pondering his words. "A ballad? No, of course not. Perhaps an epic saga in five parts... Or at least a musical play. I think the chorus about 'the hero who entered battle through dance' would be a real hit."

Maedhros just shook his head, amazed at how quickly his brother had turned his threat into a joke.

The story had been passed down among the elves ever since, each retelling adding more jokes and exaggerations. It was said that the stars shone brighter that night, and that the sky itself smiled upon the stern Maedhros, who, for the sake of his goal, swallowed his pride and danced before Elwing.

With each retelling, the details became more incredible: some claimed that his steps were like dancing on a bonfire, others assured that Elving had deliberately offered the most difficult moves to watch, hoping that Maedhros would retreat and leave them alone. But most of all, they liked to add that the stars winked at each other at that moment, marveling that the fearsome son of Theanor, who had terrified armies with his strategies, was now fighting not enemies but complicated pas.

In time, humorous poems appeared in which Maedhros danced "like a wild boar who has forgotten the way of the forest," but with respect for his willingness to undertake this ridiculous feat for the sake of peace. There were even jokes in the elven halls that if Maedhros were offered another dance in exchange for all the Silmarilli, he would demand that the story not be told.

But behind all the ridicule there was a note of admiration: for even the most stubborn and proud of Feanor's sons had shown flexibility - not only in movement, but in spirit - to achieve his goal.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58668676

[gauntletgirlie]

Mommy is Aulë.

Taken from Nyéni’s Facebook page.

[thetiredprometheus]

[gracefallingart]

Melkor and Grond

Line work of Melkor and his favorite hammer, Grond. He's my favorite to draw and I love making him look happy.

How do you make him happy? Give him weapons or gems.

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

…Morgoth thought that his triumph was fulfilled, recking little of the sons of Fëanor, and of their oath, which had harmed him never and turned always to his mightiest aid; and in his black thought he laughed, regretting not the one Silmaril that he had lost, for by it as he deemed the last shred of the people of the Eldar should vanish from Middle-earth and trouble it no more. If he knew of the dwelling by the waters of Sirion, he gave no sign, biding his time, and waiting upon the working of oath and lie.

melkor canonically (albeit nonverbally) throwing shade is one of my favorite aspects of his character tbh. what's the point of being the reigning dark overlord and very spirit of evil in your universe if you can't giggle at some little fools' idiocy now and then

[prxdk]

Was reading The Silmarillion and did this

[silmarillion-ways-to-die]

[silme-lorien]

does anyone have any suggestions on where to get high quality LOTR/hobbit merch? i feel like i have nothing and its pissing me off