swoonsing

[swoonsing]

[swoonsing]

everyone more pretentious than me is an insufferable poseur and everyone less pretentious than me is a clueless philistine

[swoonsing]

describing my relationship to someone by introducing them to people as "an old wound"

[swoonsing]

i explained the concept of freaking it to my 15,000 year old grandfather and he remained motionless within the glacier

[swoonsing]

this is making me laugh, i’m sorry

[swoonsing]

[swoonsing]

does anyone want to do sidequests together

[swoonsing]

picture a guy abruptly seeing a friend he hasn’t seen in about a year & saying “pinch me, i must be dreaming!” followed by someone actually pinching him like a little joke & this causing him to wake up on a hellish magma-covered field of volcanic rock being constantly struck by meteorites

[swoonsing]

Get off dating apps. The love of your life is in the saw bathroom.

[swoonsing]

you can INCREASE your PLAYTIME by being a BAD GAMER

[swoonsing]

TRUE CRIME PODCASTER: *in the same cadence you would tell a preschooler a bedtime story* ...and this guy was kinda freakin gross! He would hang his victims on meat hooks in his shack! I'm not gonna lie guys, that sounds pretty icky! Major red flag moment, LOL! But do you know who WOULDNT send you human organs? Our sponsor, HelloFresh!

LOST MEDIA YOUTUBER: *in the same cadence you would issue a debriefing on a terrorist attack* Number 7. The Oonglydoomples. *scary transition sound to slowed down footage of a kids show with a crt filter over it* The Oonglydoomples was a kids show on Nick Jr that ran from 2001 to 2003 that was about Jake Oonglydoomple's adventures in the big city. Only one episode of it has ever surfaced online. We have tried to get into contact with the shows creator, Mark Wankencock, but we've had no luck. Maybe someday, we'll all oonglydoomp once again.

[swoonsing]

wait hold on guys the Creature of All Falsehood is actually making a really good point here

[swoonsing]

pic i took years ago while driving home from work past the scary snail playground. i stopped in the night and pointed my headlights at it

[swoonsing]

Guy whose wife comes out to him as a lesbian and he just sighs and starts googling ‘estrogen near me’

[swoonsing]

[swoonsing]

the for you page thinks I'm a gnome

[swoonsing]

Alke at studio with empty walls - Jesse Dayan , 2024.

Australian, b.  1982  -

Oil on linen , 51 x 36 cm.