#sigh...... don't worry about it

[mecachrome]

Lando Norris & Oscar Piastri back to Karting

[italyveneziano]

Obsessed with what America and England have going on in HetaOni. America's like "I keep having to watch my dad die from overusing his magic in past timelines and not knowing how to stop it is killing me inside but I'm not going to talk to him about it" and England's like "I can't seem to hold a conversation with my son without insulting him but I won't hesitate to use my dying breath to ensure I can protect him from beyond the grave"

[snixx]

multishipping is a superpower you neeeeeeeeeeed to have when you love getting into shitty gay media with found family because OF course they're going to make an incest map of all the characters and your otp will almost definitely not be endgame. of course they're going to pair the main guy and girl together as endgame just because. and I mean you COULD be a hater about it and curse the writers and throw a four year long fit but it's so much more fun when you just make your peace with the fact that this was always going to happen and pretend everyone is in a happy little polycule as they go through 18575879 different pairings you know aren't going to last because fandom and just the experience of being a fan is so much more fun that way!!!

[birdmenmanga]

A while ago I received a beautiful painting of Eishi in the mail from @kitsoa!! I've been meaning to post pictures of it but I so rarely have physical objects I wanted a proper photoshoot to do it justice <3

When I first saw this I was absolutely blown away by the colors. These magenta-maroon hues aren't ones I associate with urban cityscapes at all and yet it's beautiful and dreamlike. There are a lot of poignant moments of loneliness in this series and this piece really captures that feeling, in my opinion. I almost feel like crying when I look at it sometimes. Kitsoa just has a way with color I can never hope of coming close to; I often look at her artworks and think, "Ah, her brain's just wired in a fundamentally different way from mine." (NOT a lamentation btw-- I consider it a blessing that we are put on this earth to show each other pictures of that which the other could not conceive of)

I have it up on my wall with sticky tack (didn't want to put tape on the front in case it got damaged when I inevitably have to move away) and I look at it all the time. I love it so much!! Thank you!!

[calamariumart]

I let my horns grow longer; I observed my skin get redder My soul became a hammer; I started to feel better My hatred turned to pity; my resentment blossomed flowers My bitter taste in candy; my misery was power The truth in me grew brighter- my nature and my nurture

[flowerakatsuka]

fucking. forgot i had this chilling in another canvas on csp.

( unedited version can be found here! )

[shredsandpatches]

had a conversation with my mother yesterday in which she was very clearly looking for reasons to be convinced I'm going to lose my job any minute (taking vacation time, spending too much time on performing arts, enrollment being down because of FAFSA issues, just being generally unsightly) and it really makes me feel like confirming her priors about education and Liberal Hypocrisy and nobody wanting to look at fat people is more important to her than my continued success and happiness in life

[nadiajustbe]

At the part in Wales, at least in the Ukrainian translation, Megan tells Howl that he hasn't worked a full job day.

Wich made me wonder, so there was ones, but they weren't full?

I imagine Howl taking a job at a local McDonald's just so his sister wouldn't complain about it, then quitting after four hours of sitting and doing nothing because "his right toe hurts". Then he brags to everyone who asks about the painfull and unfair labor standards, and repeats the same process about 3 times more before Megan realises he's just fooling her.

[scattered-winter]

almost came out to my sister today except she was on speakerphone with her husband so that did NOT happen lmao

[wanderingmind867]

I think I know why I do all my physical reading at school (well, whenever school isn't stressing me out enough to make me lose focus). To draw comparisons, I'll discuss how It's kind of like how I need sound and light and all that to sleep. In order to read, I need some background noise (like a handful of kids talking some distance away from me), but not too much noise (like 50 kids talking). I need that white noise to be controlled, but it's gotta be there.

Also, at school I have no internet. And with no internet my options for stuff is limited to reading, texting my dad or writing notes. Before highschool (when I didn't have a phone), my only option to avoid boredom was to read or write and draw in the margins of my books. Hence all of my old books (like my old Harry Potter books, Percy Jackson books, literally any book I read) ended up with ideas scribbled in them, random drawings thrown in, and more. They'd even get licked by me, since I had a phase where I wanted to try and reproduce the bumpy look of ancient parchment, and I realized I could only do that by getting the books wet.

So it's just always been easier for me to read at school, I guess. Because literally everywhere else I try to read, my attention span fails me. Oh sure, I'll read headcanons and comic books and (occasionally) fanfiction online, but I'll never read any of my physical books. It's too hard to. And this is why I'm scared to leave high school and move to college next year. If college has more people, it might be harder to read out loud in their library. It'll also be hard to feel any desire to go if there's less regimentation and routine, like elementary school and high school has drilled a love of into me. sigh…

[ingravinoveritas]

I've posted on here before about the work I do as a professional speaker, so I field a lot of speaking requests in my e-mail on a day-to-day basis. Got a request last week from the UK and was super excited until I realized how off it seemed. It was from a monsignor at a church in London and had a lot of flowery, religious language, and I talk about autism and sex for a living, so why would a priest want me to speak at his church's conference? Although I might need a priest after doing that...

Did some research after receiving a follow-up e-mail with equally over-the-top religious verbiage, only to have my suspicions confirmed: It's a scam. A "keynote speaker" scam, of all things:

The wording of the e-mails described on this site was identical to the wording of the e-mails I received, down to the "theme" of the conference. Apparently the aim is to get your money via claims of needing a work visa and then having their "sponsor" get in touch with you to arrange the details once you've filled out the forms they send.

I'm feeling upset and disappointed for multiple reasons--at the thought of other disabled/autistic speakers or other vulnerable people being taken advantage of by these assholes, at the prospect of a speaking gig in a place I've always wanted to visit being taken away--but also because the so-called "conference" was supposed to be in March and I thought for a hot second that I might have the chance to see Michael in Nye.

I'm at least glad that my instincts were right, and that I was able to cut off contact before anything else happened, but still...ugh...

[thatgayoctopus]

Guys. What if. Aha

Just thinking

What if I was like a robot or something haha. What then. What if I was a robot.

Or maybe like

Or maybe an octopus. I think I'd like that.

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Uncle Neen! HYH! It sucks to see you struggling cuz you are a big inspiration of mine :( but you said you did your makeup the other day. Can we seeeeeeeeee maybe?

d'awwww ksahdlkdss, you are so sweet, nonnie! thank you so so soooo much, baby! xx i really needed this. i hope i heal ( i will...i have to, i am too much of an asshole to let god win, fuck him ) and i hope you heal from whatever harms you as well! you can do it! mWAH!~

-- also brb crying ;-; <3333 whenever y'all tell me i inspire you, it seriously makes me want to cry; you mean SO much to me, so to mean so much to you; it's Everything to me, my love. thank you for believing in me, know i believe infinitely in YOU and will keep fighting the good fight, living authentically and modelling pos behavior on this blog bc i take being a role model very seriously. :')

BUT ANYWAYS! sakhdlasd oh my god aaAaaAAAaa please!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE, THIS IS SO CUTE OF YOU, hELP AAAAA!!!!!! but yes, of course, of course. considering i am super bacteria nina right now and had to resign from my ( admittedly ) trash job and am no longer, at this moment, an education girlie ( besides on here, ofc, educating you on my two gay sons in love ), i can freely exist and post pictures of myself again! thank you for for giving me a safe place to do that. <3

i'll elaborate on what 'safe' means to me down below, but just for context i took this...sigh...last week, when i was told i would 'all better', just trying to feel like myself again after a month of being unmadeup and unfitted and ugly and troll-like and on death fucking row and fucking miserable as hell, i had my new hair appointment lined up, was about ready to take life by the balls again...and that shit BLUE BALLED ME SO HARD AND SAID *ravenstan vc* JK, BABY!

okay, sorry i have some really bad scarring and wounding up there by my neck so i had to cover her up but...there she is! the she beast!

as for posting pictures of myself just...please...PLEASE BE KIND. and i wish i meant that as a joke, i mean it very, VERY seriously. i am at a point right now, where i look my very fucking worst, i am weaker than i have ever been in my life, there are abrasions all over my body, which per the results of my culture ( i was right...several fucking times and no one would listen to me ) my body is trying to kill me and right now...it is Winning. ( i'm not gonna lose tho, dw, i am a nasty bitch from hell and i refuse to die this ugly, i fucking won't; choke )

tldr; I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HOW I LOOK. I DO NOT FEEL PRETTY, I AM LIKE ONE BAD COMMENT AWAY FROM TEARING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND I AM TELLING YOU GUYS I CANNOT DO THAT, I CANT CREATE ANY TEARING ON MY BODY OR THE BACTERIA WILL TUNNEL AND ITS HARD ENOUGH AS A BITCH WITH DERMATILOMANIA.

PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.

i know we shoot the shit on here and are funny and clown eachother, you guys are my family; it's what families do, but my boundary is that you can say i am pretty and be objectively kind or Please do not send me anything At ALL about how i look; i CANNOT take it rn. i know were just joking, but please, please, PLEASE Do NOT compare me to any ugly creatures, make me feel weird about any part of my face, tell me i look blurry, say anything is too big or too small…

please don’t meme on me abt my appearance...Ever.

it’s a very sensitive spot for me and makes me v anxious.

all this to say, i love you; thank you for being my home.

HYH.

-uncle nina, single ravesey mother and human petri dish

[gen-is-gone]

Am I continuing to hyperfixate on a children's show from ten years ago because the alternative is fantasizing about walking into traffic?

You can't prove it.

[kivaember]

I was thinking, given how overtaken by corporations the world of AC6 is, that pilots working for corporations often get treated like professional athletes or celebrities or something. Do you think Michigan, Rusty, O'Keeffe, Iguazu, or really any of the other corporate mercs have their own followings of crazy fans (or even groupies)?

I feel like that the corporations would definitely cherry pick a few of their in-house AC pilots to use as advertisement. For Arquebus, they'd definitely use Freud to drive recruitment for MT pilots, because if this totally normal human who doesn't have any augmentations managed to become a top vesper, then maybe YOU can do it too! Just dedicate five to ten years of your life to MT piloting and you'll have a chance to be recruited into the Vespers!!!

(it's all a big lie, obviously, and it's partly why Freud is a little disgruntled at being used as advertisement for things like that, but he knows when to act as a showdog so long as Arquebus keeps funding his adrenaline junkie habits)

The Vespers definitely have their likeness owned by the corporations that hold their contract, so they can't even protest having merch produced of them, or being told to attend meet and greets or interviews or what have you, and even get told what they can and cannot say. They also had fan followings, and those fans are catered to so long as Arqueus can squeeze out extra credits from them.

Rusty definitely wasn't expecting it, and his horror when he saw Arquebus run a poll like "who's the most attractive Vesper?" and Rusty won. The utter fear he felt...

The Redguns, however, I feel operate a little differently. I personally HC that the Redguns' forces are mostly composed of UEG military washouts or penal battalions, with Balam taking the approach of, ah, profiting from the prison complex. The only Redgun they use in advertisement is Michigan, and that's more leaning on the whole "The Hero of Jupiter endorses our products!!!" thing, rather than trotting him out as a literal advertisement (can you imagine Michigan going along with that?). Balam feels like it doesn't need to run an aggressive ad campaign because it can produce things cheaply thanks to its well-established connections to the prison complex, and if there's one thing they're not short of, it's prisoners to exploit.

As Swinburne calls Balam a "tired old concern", I'm assuming Balam is likely older than Arquebus, and probably well-established in terms of like, it's been around forever, so has brand loyalty. But brand loyalty can only carry you so far if you don't innovate, which it sounds like Balam struggles to do.

tl;dr Balam doesn't use the Redguns as advertisement, just uses Michigan's Hero of Jupiter status as an endorsement, but it means they lag a little behind Arquebus which aggressively uses their Vespers as actual advertisement. I genuinely feel like one of the mandatory traits required to be a Vesper is to be conventionally attractive in some way - easier to commercialise that way.

Meanwhile the Redguns are like "can you hold a gun and will you fight your way out of any situation like a rabid dog? you will? fantastic. you're getting drafted". They lean heavily on the cost-saving measures of the prison complex, and are reluctant to try new things or be experimental, unlike the Vespers.

[kindahoping4forever]

Ash with fans in Buenos Aires