#sick fit too as always
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New song is hell of a bop actually I rlly like it :0
Throwing these at yall if you wanna redraw them or the outfit
#this song is a bop tho im lovin it#sick fit too as always#well this time that has a double meaning but yk/j#i will draw the fit immediately or pass back out & then draw it once i wake up again#chonny jash#moss post
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Lmao what if I drew my OC as a postal insert. They meet in a human shield situation I think 🥰
#It's funny cuz angel originated as a gta v insert and jsut grew form there. Yet I've always been too shy to draw him w trev#But I've seen other drawing their postal self inserts and I got brave!!#Maybe one day I'll draw him w T too. But there's so much in my head#But postal insert!!! I figure dude would drag him out of a situation where he's getting shot up p bad#And then the Stockholm syndrome grows from there. And angel is his own version of fucked up so it fits#Anyway I'm sick w tonsilitus rn so sorry if this is janky I needed smth to do at 2am#fan art#art#sketch#character art#OC art#Original art#The postal dude#Postal 2#Original character#Original character art#Tapeworrm oc#Angel
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@hibiscuslynx YES HE HAS TATTOOS!!!!!!
here's the full ref sheet from. originally an au that's. erm. it's not dead i have reference sheets so it's clearly. alive.
i've posted the ur gay sketch before for sure 100% here it is again oops sorry
anyway, this has turned into my standard florida design :) this boy fuct up with ink!!! good for him
#DONT LOOK AT THE PANTHER OK. LOOK AT THE GATOR IN THE TOP LEFT INSTEAD.#idk where it's being put yet so i didnt. add it to the list but rest assured#he has that matching w louie :) gator bff tattoos forever#lune talks#wttt#wttsh#ben brainard#welcome to the statehouse#welcome to the table#when ppl ask me things#lune posts art#wttt florida#pr&bb au i miss u........i'm the one that killed u but i miss u#i dont always draw the septum and smiley but he does have them yeehaw#fitting his piercings in is hard esp the smiley it crowds his mouth grrgrhrhrghr#he has manic episodes and wakes up w a new piercing and is like.....sick i'm keeping it!#me too girlie me too#Dhdhfgdhfb THERE'S ALSO SOME STUFF I FULLY CANNOT POST ON THIS WEBSITE.#but if i ever get the courage. he does have a couple more piercings :///////#i went with the year juan ponce landed in florida bc. that's when the land was named la florida by. him i guess. spanish colonizers mhmm 👍👍#bc it was so flowery and pretty in april btw :) la florida the blooming flowers of spring awww#and since this is. the personification of la florida ig he would have been 'born' around then. in my head at least#old rotting corpse ass bitch#imagine being 500+yo and still bitchless
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one of these days i need the full story of your dnd mishap
😭😭😭 please
the short story is our party had three people (2 players + DM) who thought we were playing a fun friendly magical campaign and two people who wanted to recreate a critical role campaign amongst themselves...i think if youre familiar w cr you might immediately see the issue there.
long story is people put WAY way too much personal shit into their characters and almost immediately started taking the actions of characters as genuine irl slights and like. two sessions in had already lost sight of the difference between the pc and the player.
oh shit this got really long im sorry i dont think you care This much but i havent thought about it in a while and it bewilders me every time-
SO i was playing a cunty rogue and had TOLD everyone 'hey she is probably gonna clash w the party at first, but she'll warm up to everyone really fast, so dont worry about that' like it was clearly in the spirit of building a realistic character who had her own hangups etc. which i assumed the others would understand bc they'd done the same. plus is it not boring and unreal asf if a bunch of strangers meet after a murder of someone close to them and all just get along immediately w no suspicions or secrecy? cmon man.
and yet. the two cr-people got really weird about my pirate character stealing (???) and sincerely pulled the dm aside to express their concerns about the 'level of violence being enacted' and asked that we all try to be aware of what class of people we did crimes against. like. they wanted me to stop stealing from the 99% and ask everyone if they were rich before i picked their pocket ig. ALL THE WHILE. ONE OF THE OFFENDING PCS WAS IN THE MAFIA?????? LIKE. DIRECTLY EMBEDDED IN THE MAFIA THAT RAN THE TOWN.
i suppose that pc was off the hook bc he did possess the elf cock that the other guy wanted so bad, so. love won. i guess.
anyway they ended up taking hours out of our sessions to just dialogue-rp about slowly falling in love in a complex way or something. except then the non-elf player was like 'actually, dm, can you give me a love interest npc i need to add more depth to my character.' or smth, to which our dm lovingly crafted a beautiful working class hero of a guy. which the pc proceeded to hard reject. what was the point of any of this? we may never know<3
need to be clear as well this was all happening over discord bc we all live in different timezones, my very close friend was up at 2AM for this bullshit every week. AND he didnt even KNOW these other people very well, but suddenly theyre finding fault w not just his character but him as a PERSON? i just rmrd they accused him of like.....negatively influencing me??? like. MORALLY???? brother we have been friends for 10 years you are nothing to us you dont know us like that lol.
but they did REALLY really hate my character, which eventually made me feel like shit all the time bc like. obviously im putting work into her, its a creative construction and to have it railed against that badly is not fun. so i said ok you know what, ill just make a new character, hopefully thatll keep the peace and we can salvage this.
so i pitch a new character and oh they LOVE her. they fucking love her concept. which was so.........the first character was a lot easier for me to play bc she was a little more like me, and this character was specifically the opposite....how am i meant to take that reaction, yknow
which also reminds me: the original pirate rogue i played was a tiefling (yeah yeah gay stereotype i know. im not subtle or original, whatever) and there was a complaint (made only half-jokingly, ykwim) that she was too white.
shes not even HUMAN what the fuck do you mean shes too WHITE. IM not white that should imbue any character i create w an inherent not-whiteness. but even still, again, she is half sea creature. shes not. human. to be assigned a race like that....hello??
anyway so these two cr-rp players eventually blocked me and my friend on tumblr without saying anything, and got confused when we found out and said 'yeah ok we dont wanna play dnd with some guy who has blocked us on other social media' as if WE were the weirdos. like they saw no problem w continuing this disastrous campaign as long as they got their mandatory monologue time.
the worst part is my dm made SUCH a stunning campaign and world and it was so so so fun outside of this mess, i still feel really bad they never got to realise the world fully. plus my character had a sickass backstory thing where she was like. slowly unlocking latent magic the longer she spent underwater bc her demon parent was abyssal and stuff. which is whatever but the sick part is she was developing SCALES and maybe GILLS. in like a nasty gorey way it was gonna be so cool. but noooo lets talk about strange morality and your lameass god for 1.5 hrs. at 11pm on a friday.
#ask#anonymous#sorry i will just never be over this#im a super evolved mellow person now but i will never ever ever forgive or forget this shit#im not even covering half of it i dont think and i def dont think this is coherent#but its fun to rant like a lunatic sometimes#anyway nyx you will always be famous baby!! they could never make me hate you!!! wild magic sorcerer cuntress<3#also to be so fair. i came into it w a bit of a bias against one of the pcs bc i hate warlocks fredhjcnkdsc#UNLESS youre doing smth funny w them idgaf about a warlock boo hoo you had to buy your magic. loser#but whatever it was a fucking mess. and i was still a people pleaser back then so i really tried hard to make my pc fit and be liked#which was lame in hindsight she should have torn them apart gfhdvjncx#edit: oh and the dmpc lay down after a meal at a campfire while we were travelling and i as an annoying ass player said#'dm your npc is going to get reflux if she lies down right after a meal' and my dm said 'can you shut up for 5 seconds ever?' and i said#'ok but if she is too sick to fight later dont blame me!' and the dm rolled for reflux#guess what happened to the npc.
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Psssst, check the Drive folder! (you can prolly guess who this is) ;)
YO
#snap chats#hang on chat i just ate so i might throw up. too LATE i am EATING AGAAAAAIN TAHNK YOU BESTIEEEEE#hehe ........ ohf uck me hanf on#ANYWAY THANK YOU you know that bit from spongebob where he and pat lookin at mr krabs map#gon be doin that in The Drive for like half an hour aaaattt LEAAAASSST#lookin through the pics just reminded me charles' blanket is purple ... curious isnt it .... ive connected the dots ..#ALSO girls i already advocate for charles' face card as is but in 97 durin that bit where hes younger lookin and smilin at erik..#chat i might be sick.. charles xavier you will always be beautiful to me and so i might have to die later#LIKE THAT PIC OF HIM AND ERIK ON HIS DESK i do not question the fact he has had like six love interests#wait dying again. ok im back THANK YOU AGAIN BESTIEEEE hehe..#i will return this kindness And Your Other Kindnesses SOMEDAY however way you seem fit you have done MUCH good for my soul 🙇♂️
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sorry im about to vent off topic :i s2g if they hint on handsome jack in the movie and it is NOT dameon clarke im gonna lose my marbles. I feel like when they look at the success of the characters as well the VAs do so much heavy lifting to giving life to these characters. why they didnt just use the VA for Claptrap from B3 is beyond me why did it need to be someone else so it doesnt even sound right - they def went for name recongition over matching the characters - kevin hart is so tiny hes such a small dude and roland is large and also if roland is alive wouldnt thta imply that jack's also alive. like handsome jack is so successful because of dameon. he gave so many off the cuff lines. and if they wnated to make a movie why would they not choose the tales gang if thats the one that gave them so much credit? sorry i have so many feelings and i, also so SICK of seeing tiny tina bein g used for literally every borderlands merch thing recently
I'm fine with actors putting their own spin on characters they play and seeing how their writing can be interpreted differently but with handsome jack it becomes really tricky cause like... dameon clarke MADE jack who he is. Like a lot of people credit him for how good of a character he is so whoever WOULD play jack would have a whole lot of expectations to match. We already hate the casting (which is 100% just to get attention instead of accurately portraying the characters) so imagine how much more we would hate it if they messed jack up
Overall the whole movie just adds to what I said about gbox being out of touch with the fandom. We got randy already claiming he wants to make a sequel when the whole fanbase has voiced concern and disinterest about the movie just based on the trailers and they're just really trying to force lilith and tina to be fan favorites when they're... not? Like I love them, especially lilith like that's my homegirl right there, but the fandom as a whole would disagree that they're even well-liked characters
#theres only one actor i think could possibly capture jacks essence aside from dameon clarke#and thats mr glenn howerton aka dude who played dennis in its always sunny#i havent even watched it but ive seen clips#and not only does he kinda look like jack ESPECIALLY his side profile but we know he can play unhinged men#LIKE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I GENUINELY THINK HED BE A GOOD FIT#but also i agree that jack black was a real poor fit for claptrap#he just sounds like a drunk guy at an office party doing bad cartoon impressions#anon#im gonna start tagging movie complaints in case anyone is sick of seeing negativity abt it and just wanna have fun with it#i get sick of it too SHFHG but a lot of the issues with the movie goes hand in hand with the issues with the games#aka randy being a greedy little poo#so i gotta complain a little bit 😔#blands movie discourse#<- feel free to block that tag ill love you regardless
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Fully caught up on the manga (minus spoilers for the last chapter) and..... Ya know what maybe I am a villain stan because I just.... Don't trust that anything really changes in society. Everyone outside of heroes, when given speaking parts, seems to indicate that they'll step in or do something in order to protect themselves - not out of any sense of responsibility or community, but to safeguard their lives in case the other person ends up a villain. Or maybe I'm just pessimistic? But we've seen irl time and again that this ending attitude doesn't work. Doesn't have change. Certainly not long lasting change. I really really wanted to finish the series still liking Deku but throughout the fight, every cut back to someone other than Deku, talking about his heart and how good he was and how much he was doing to fight for the person - and the cut back is just "punch". He never responded to Shigaraki's words. He never engaged with the man himself. And at the end of the day, I feel more trust in Uraraka. More trust that she'll actually work on saving people's hearts. And she's back in construction work like her parents. And of course the camera dies and no one sees Toga's heart. Because how dare anyone think a villain could be a person (paraphrased that one interview guy).
I really really wanted to end this manga happy with it. I'm not stupid enough to conflate the reality of the story with fandom. I'm not. I really wanted to enjoy it for what it is. But when they directly ask "how do we fix villains being made" the answer is "you don't. We can't" and ???? That's supposed to be what the manga was working towards this whole time? I - .....
#the bee talks#idk. maybe im just too damaged to fit in society anymore myself. ha.... fuck.#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#i think deku still has a lot of growing up to do. i know blah blah his innocence is ruined and he's irrevocably changed but.#.... i think its more that we see other characters understand more than deku has. horikoshi can write it. he just.... didnt for the guy#we're supposed to have placed our hope and trust in.#mha#bnha#like i feel sick to my stomach because this is devasting but also guilty bc i wanted to like it i was hopeful.#i mean!!!! I STILL LIKE THE ENDING. IM GOOD WITH IT!! i just dont like how the underlying themes were finished.#im not even salty about the villains dying- i feel like being alive wouldve always left a way for horikoshi to be pressured to return to mha#like.... story plot wise im good with it! its just that the last few chapters are supposed to be feel good wrap up and im.... empty.#if i was the same person i was when i first started mha and even up until a few years ago i wouldve really really liked it all.#haaa... maybe I'm just too jaded. sorry yall i really tried my best and I'll enjoy whatever the last chapter holds! i will! i just...#need some time to emotionally remove myself from it i guess. (massive props to Horikoshi for making me care about all of the characters)
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oh my poor sick little man..... he has a bad fever :(
i've always had a soft spot for sickfics and i like seeing strong characters get taken care of by the ones who love them most :) craig is making him chicken noodle soup in the kitchen, barry's favourite meal to have whenever he's not feeling well.
bonus: earlier version with ripped sleeves
i liked the thought of him being all snug in the only piece of clothing he hasn't ripped so i drew the sleeves of his jammies because it was cuter :)
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#why does tumblr always compress my drawings grrrgrr#he is sikc :(#i feel like if barry got sick he'd be the type of guy to be like ''what! i'm not sick no waayyy haha''#and then die of a coughing fit immediately after#he'd be very grumpy about not being able to go jetpacking and having to stay at home all day#he'd be like ''what happened to watching cartoons when i was home sick!? this is so BORING''#and craig would be like ''there there its ok you'll live. go to bed barry''#also i love how barry canonically has homely cute flower blankets on his bed#i like to think he's kinda embarrassed by them because he always calls his home his 'secret hideout'#and always talks about how cool it is and whatnot and then you walk inside and it's just. comfy.#only craig knows about the cosier bits of his home he's too prideful to tell anyone else#craig thinks it's nice :)#wait tumblr fucking deleted the other tags i wrote goddamnit#barry would be like ''i'm not THAT sick! i don't need to be pampered! i'm a man i can do it!''#and then when craig drags him home he's like ''ehh... i'm dying craig..... craig tuck me in.....''#he's stubborn but he's a big softie :)#i like to think he doesn't like to ask for help because he feels like it's weak#but at the same time he knows he really needs help because he feels really sick#he may complain a lot and act all fussy but he doesn't resist to craig taking care of him#cause he knows he's gotta let his guard down every once in a while + he's too tired to do it#he's too proud to admit it but he likes being taken care of by craig every now and then :)#ahh how i love stubborn characters who just wanna be held...
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people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild
#“not all men” is a valid statement because its fucking true#like guys. seriously. not every single man is evil#feminism isnt about putting men down its about raising women up to be equal and getting rid of gender inequality#sorry im seeing a massive uptick in people hating on trans men for being men lately and its fucking stupid#like yall are doing a great job at making me feel ashamed to be a man who likes men. awesome thanks guys#i dont normally make posts like this but its been rattling around in my mind for a few days now#its always put out like. all men (trans or not) are Inherently Evil and all women (trans or not) are Inherently Victims#which is absolutely the stupidest shit ive ever seen#and they also leave out anyone who doesnt fit into the man/woman dichotomy. and if they dont its always seen as woman lite#which is also stupid as fuck#not every nb/agender/other person is feminine asshole#anways. case in point. can we stop demonizing masculinity while also discussing the effects of misogyny and the patriarchy please.#because both of those things are very real and very much do hurt people#but im sick of people lashing out at trans men as if the problem magically doesn't affect us anymore because we are men#because guess what! newsflash! it affects trans AND cis men too!!#i shouldnt have to explain it should be obvious but like. im tired man#sorry ill forever be annoyed at women who just hate every single man who dares breathe in their direction because they COULD be an asshole#if you hate someone because of their gender no matter what gender it is i Do Not Trust You#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. replies are off cause i dont want to argue with people i just want to express my opinion
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SORRY this tag completely undid me LMFAOOOOOOOO
He needs to buy some fucking shirts........
Sketch vers under the cut bc I was originally just gonna leave it at that but. I was possessed I think.
#fire emblem#feh#secret deeplore i gave alfonse a flip phone bc i misremembered the og vid (was convinced they had flip phones)#but i just. kept it. idk it's just such a funny accidental characterization like it just fits. to me.#also baby vero bc. i haven't finished book 6. love her new design but she's still baby to me.#+ i have a better feel for her baby characterization vs her renewed self. bc. i haven't finished book 6.#book 6 bruno death isn't real it can't hurt you.#ANYWAYS I. HAD SO MUCH FUN W THIS LMFAO????#i love inventing new and creative ways to avoid digital art LMFAOOO#not even cause digital is hard actually like. it's not. that is the medium i taught myself in for 'finished' works.#but like idk what prompted it but i was just fuckinh sick of it. this shit sucks actually!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it took a bit but i really love working traditional now! it's engaging and rewarding!#always some damn learning curve too LMFAO but that's actually fun too! when. it isn't devastating#high risk high reward i guess.#but genuinely i am SO happy w how this came out it's SO fun to me#fe alfonse#fe bruno#sharena#fe veronica#my art
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freezing your tits off, you say? i call that free top surgery
#this just came to me during a cough fit induced stroke of genius while also freezing#i am too sick to tell if it is funny#trans#top surgery#i always neglect tagging trans stuff even tho i like looking through my gender journey and related thoughts via my tumblr#meins
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Listening to "Out There" from the Hunchback of Notre Dame again and I'm like damn that really is a q!Fit and Madagio song huh
#i talk#qsmp talk#''All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone / Hungry for the histories they show me''#''All my life I memorize their faces / Knowing them as they will never know me ''#He is the historian after all#It's his job to tell these tales#Though that song would definitely paint q!Fit as a gentler person#Maybe it would be his younger self before the 2b2t mentality wore him down#guhh it's been a bad morning#Saw some sad FitPac stuff that made me mad then saw some Real Bad untagged upsetting stuff (not fandom related) that Did Not Help#I gotta go back to my old rule of only following blogs that tag stuff. Nobody tags anything these days o(-(#Anyways. Can't do anything about that but CAN do stuff about the FitPac stuff#working on the fic then I'm going to finish that QSMP finale edit#because I'm sick to death of people saying Pac's dead#sighs#I really gotta start distancing myself from the fandom if I'm getting mad about angst#I got too attached to Fit and Pac. I saw too much of myself in their story#I'll always be angry about the admin stuff and poor management ofc but I'm still also just mad they never got a happy ending#it's certainly not as grim as the fandom likes to portray it but man...
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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again
sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now
Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.
And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.
and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.
no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.
and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.
im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.
and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently
in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.
there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.
no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.
#you know it's funny#i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this#on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and#the friend that i lost last year checked my account and#i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me#because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry#bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man#i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot#but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also#i dont fit in that friendship anymore#but im still really greatful#for checking up on me even like this#*most of my life#noticed a typo#idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself#all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday#im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations#trying to convince myself that its oka#it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im#terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi#g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul#i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda#hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not#that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m#friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread#knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb#i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps#anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but#i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much
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many of you may be unaware that i have been going cazyyyy over herobrine qnd mc lore in general recently. im in my beautiful world
#the like 2 ppl who follow me on bluesky and the same 2 ppl who follow my gaming blog LOL#but ouygghhhh oughh#life is so beautifklll. steve and alex ARGHHHHHH#in my minddddd ok um. im gonna make a proper post for my hcs for them soonish hopefully#but in my mind. steve is like very anxious and realllyy rwlly struggles around most ppl#he grew up in a veryyy small community and didnt rlly fit in well so he left#he has dissociative amnesia and has ptsd from seeinh someone (maybe his parents) die to mobs as a child#he is kinda alright at building simple stuff but not very fancy. r/malelivingspace#he struggles to kill monsters cus of his trauma and to kill animals bc he feels bad. lol#he has a little farm of chickens for eggs. and mostly livess off those and bread#hes not veggie he just cant kill them himself. he later gets hero/alex to get meat instead#ummm i think he wld enjoy cooking nice stuff and likes to decorate the house nicely. but struggles to do it for himself#so only once the other two come along#alex comes from a family of hunters. so she is rlly nifty w a bow and able to fare slightly better in combat#she has a huge interest in the ancient miners and their history. big collector of books and maps etc#she makes redstone things from old blueprints she finds but otherwise isnt great at it#she is audhd. actually teah all of them r autistic btwwww.#she is not great at building cus she moved around a lot. and finds mining boringggg#but it works nicely cus steve collects a load of ore. and then she uses it to trade etc#she is much better at talking to others (as in… it doenst make her feel sick likw w steve)#so whenever they go to villages she does all the talking. and often tries to barter too (mostly unsuccessfully)#she ends up staying w steve after some sort of incident where her family/community die too LOL#i shld say that ummm. families in mc r not like in real life. so in the case of steve and alex they were not directlyraised by their parents#this is mostly due to how often ppl outside of villages die. its easier to not focus so much on blood relation#herobrine. is originally ender. and ends up in the overworld during the time of the ancients#long story short he plays a big part in the rise and fall of the civilisation. and then goes into hiding#he can come across as rather formal and old fashioned sometimes due to his history#but he has also been sitting around doing fuck all for thousands of yrs. so he is always up for whtever steve and alex r doing#he doesnt talk aloud too much and when he does its very stilted. he finds telepathy slightly easier#UM he is great at building. and redstone and brewing. i ran out of tags Okay thats it
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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#meg talks#abt to head back into work#the start of a long fucking week#last time i tried to go back to work i literally collapsed on the ground from how tired and sick i was#if anything it feels like im just getting worse now#my nerve pain is so bad#and my coughing fits make me see spots#at least i don’t have fever anymore and the congestion isn’t as bad#i can breathe okay#but god. im scared that this will be my new baseline#which will mean that i can’t work here anymore…#and it’s just too early to tell. it could take weeks to get my full strength back and i might be fine#but that’s weeks of wondering#and trying to muscle through#which could be making things worse. fuck if i know#i want to quit so bad but at the same time i don’t want to. i don’t want to be muscled out#it just sucks so bad.#and they let this happen to fucking ten out of fifteen of us all at the same time#they really don’t give a shit about our lives#they can always just replace us with cheaper labor.
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