#show: we’re all stories in the end
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My favourite detail in OOTP is when Harry finds Sirius at the dining hall Crookshanks is curled up in his lap. Like he’s surrounded by people screaming at him about “Dumbledore’s instructions”, not allowed to go outside cause the ministry and Death Eaters are gunning for him, he’s being called irresponsible and reckless and he’s brushing it all aside cause boy does he know how to deal with people screaming at him in this house, any regardless: he’s still got Crookshanks. He’s got Buckbeak and they remain Sirius’ first and last line of defence
Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry.
Harry did not mention his vague suspicions to Sirius, whose cheerfulness was evaporating fast now that Christmas was over. As the date of their departure back to Hogwarts drew nearer, he became more and more prone to what Mrs. Weasley called “fits of the sullens,” in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak’s room for hours at a time. His gloom seeped through the house, oozing under doorways like some noxious gas, so that all of them became infected by it.
#Sirius Black#one day I’ll write a thesis about the constant ableist language used to address Sirius in OOTP#one day we’ll talk about JKR passing judgement on trauma and coping with it through fifteen year old Hermione#one day I’ll talk about how OOTP is so severely unempathetic to Sirius#It’ll forever remain ridiculous to me that Sirius of all people is the story’s biggest example of tell don’t show. he’s not irresponsible#he’s not selfish#yet we’re told so#again and again#by Molly and Hermione#and it’s consistently in a patronising arrogant way from people who could not even hope to understand what he’s been through#I think it’s particularly telling that no one offers to HELP Sirius. to do anything. in OOTP#JKR’s ableism in her language and connotations with the way people speak of Sirius says So Much#her tell don’t show works consistently against her in that the narrative validates Sirius.#in the end he is right. but it doesn’t matter anymore cause he’s dead
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The more I think about The Bad Batch as a complete show but incomplete story, the more I think that if they’re doing what I think they could be doing, the more I think it could work really well from a storytelling perspective. So well that I’m actually annoyed about it.
#the bad batch#yes I’m still on my ‘I don’t think the story is over’ bullshit#the Hunter-Omega relationship arc resolved and it actually resolved very well#nothing else resolved at all#not even Crosshair#not completely anyway#a lot of my criticisms about the finale come from a place#of thinking that the bad batch is a very good show#that’s mostly very well written and thematically consistent#but which simply doesn’t end#apart from the Hunter-Omega-Tantiss plot#it all just kind of stops#I actually think “the cavalry has arrived#works very well as a season finale#which#I think that’s what it is#we didn’t get a long finale#we got episodes fifteen and sixteen bunched together I think#you can almost see where the credits are supposed to roll after the first half#and the thing is#as long as we’re getting more in some form#even if—perhaps especially if—there’s a shift in the POV character#I’m actually okay with that#it’s a good show I just need the rest of the story#now if that is what’s happening#if this is a story artificially cut in half with a POV shift partway through#I still think this is the most batshit way to handle it from an audience expectation perspective#and I don’t appreciate that AT ALL#for MANY reasons
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YOU'RE RIGHT WHAT IF THIS IS A TWISTED IRONY OF GETTING WHAT YOU WANT. MACAQUE HAS THE POWER TO KILL WUKONG OR MK FOR REAL THIS TIME??? but he doesn't want to. what if he's forced again. what if this power has the potential to destroy him to be removed/stopped from affecting others?
….so about Wukong’s death flags— *gunshots*
#‘Fluffy they’re not going to kill swk’ BUT THEY DID TRY TO#AND RHEY KNOW THEY CANT#NOT AT THE VERY BEGINNING#this is Sun Wukong the Monkey King we’re talking about. he can’t just die willy-nilly! no no no!#but he is in the mentor role#and he is also a character who knows too much#something no character wishes to be bc that means you’re a problem to the plot#now how does one solve this? well the easy answer is killing them off. but as said before: this is Sun Wukong#so they incapacitate him —> he is conveniently not in town. he is stuck in power draining webs. he used up all his power to break a seal#etc etc so on and so forth#and then you have SWK talking about how long he’s lived and they show his exhaustion and his wistfulness for the past and such#and then we have the story edging closer to the underworld#and then we are in the underworld and they can’t touch him bc he crossed off his name.#and then we have Macky an old friend of swk turned enemy turned semi-ally for MK’s sake#he starts off the show wanting to use SWK’s power to kill SWK#he fails obvi but still#then we learn that he made a deal with LBD that she’ll free him and yada yada such as life and power if he frees her (which he doesn’t)#but still#two times we see Macky’s crave power and seek revenge on SWK (lbd uses his anger at swk as motivation with the deal)#THEN WE HAVE S5 ANS FHE WEIRD WAY MACKY’S MAGIC REACTS TO NINE HEADS AND THEN WE END WITH MACKY ACQUIRING IT???#what is the magic? idk some chaos magic that Nine Heads uses that mess with reality and such#So#interesting layout we have here 👀#lmk#asks#lmk s5#lmk season 5#lmk s5 spoilers#lmk season 5 spoilers#lmk spoilers
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don’t be fooled by my undying love for kara danvers, i hated like, half of the decisions the writers made regarding the show’s lore. i find kara to be one for the few characters who actually got better as the show progressed (which is how character development works). she started out more shy and grew into a confident, capable and a well-respected woman. she made some real change and helped a lot of people outside of her superhero suit. the show had a great balance between kara danvers and supergirl. my love is for her story and character development, and her story and character development only. oh, and alex and j’onn! they were pretty neat too!
#i love everything about kara danvers and her story and that’s about almost all i like about the show lol#obviously there are other things i like but kara is the main MAIN#supergirl#kara danvers#nia kelly and will we’re actually pretty neat too#were*#but they didn’t get enough development imo and deserved more screen time#i liked andre too but she’s in the same boat the other three#andrea*#guys sorry but i literally hated the deo#and so did kara lol she was so sick of it#she was literally glowing once j’onn and alex left#and she didn’t have to go there just so she could work with her family#shoutout to that old man who destroyed it#i also hated cat grant and catco during her time as a ceo#literally everyone after her was a better ceo#catco in s4 and s5 was PEAK#honestly cbs!supergirl was awful all around#and the rest of the show was spent fixing their mistakes#i’m actually a cbs!supergirl hater#when i say i like the show#i mean the cw one#and up till the end of s5#but then again i don’t mess with s6 so#well 6x01 - 6x07 was fine#but anything else was like horrible and i don’t acknowledge it as canon and a part of the story
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Honestly, considering the show/writers never acknowledged Daphne’s marital rape of her husband, and they only had a slight acknowledgment of Edwina’s feelings on Kate x Anthony, like I don’t think there will be a satisfactory resolution to Pen’s betrayal of the Bridgertons (Marina/Colin and Eloise/Theo) or of Eloise’s “friendship” with Cressida (and anything else she might do as “revenge”).
I think they’ll blow over the latter “I said I’d rather die than be her friend and I still mean it” and hugs all around or some other scene like that (which I know is simple and that’s my point). And Pen will apologize and confess that cause she’s so in love with Colin and she wanted to be noticed and she’ll be forgiven without much else from Colin. And maybe a little more for Eloise, if that.
(Spoiler’s for the books in case people care about that).
They forgive her for Whistledown in the books, Colin is worried more about her being revealed as Whistledown than her writing shit about him (tho nothing she writes is like Marina/Colin is not in the books. Daphne basically forgives her for anything she wrote about that but tbh she doesn’t seem to mind anyway). And, they like sorta acknowledge it as “wtf” thing, but it’s blown over quickly imo. “Oh well that’s nice dear” sorta reaction. And Eloise does have even more of a backbone than in the books but idk I just don’t see why and what people seem to want out of Bridgerton.
Eloise is going to somehow befriend and fall in love with Crane! You’re telling me the girl running around with Theo and “radicals” will suddenly fall for the guy boring the fuck out of Marina?
Like, I’m sorry but Bridgerton is pretty people hooking up with a regency background. They will not “do right” by most people’s standards of how the characters should act and how to apologize (Daphne and Simon make up after professing deep love in the rain! Anthony is shocked into confessing for real cause Kate fell of a horse! It’s for DRAMA, and then it’s resolved kinda easily?)
I’ve seen some more of nuanced takes against Pen, at least these people aren’t reducing her to a fat villain (cause when they did that I could not take them seriously 😒). And honestly a lot of it is fair, that’s good! The writers don’t care.
But now I keep seeing people hating Eloise to the point that they want a comeuppance that is not proportional to her “revenge”…and like… it won’t be as serious as y’all are making it to be. This “revenge”. Like please, the writers aren’t going to suddenly take this world seriously. See above and those are just 1 example for each season!
If they wanted to acknowledge all the hurt Pen put people through and make her work to become a better person, they could! I just don’t think they will because it’s 8 episodes per season and in this season they’re trying to find a way to get Colin and Pen together and Eloise and Pen as friends again by end of season. I don’t think they’ll extend a conflict into Ben’s season (I actually hope they don’t, I like Ben and Sophie’s story for the most part and while I love Anthony and Kate they shouldn’t be the focus either).
Idk what people expect I guess. if you’re watching it for Pen to be taken down a notch… might not be the season for you. If you’re hate watching I guess tag it with “anti” whatever and not the regular tags?
I’m sorry if you think she does not deserve an happy ending, I don’t necessarily disagree that she’s undeserving of some crow eating for what she’s done. However, I don’t think the writers care to make her go through that. And I don’t watch Bridgerton for brilliant character development that I think some of y’all want.
That being said I’m curious about how they’ll manage LW post Colin x Penelope marriage. In the books it basically disappears, and maybe they can use that to have a build up to Pen! However that means to me making their relationship last longer than as season and I do not want that for any of the couples.
#illy talks#I need to not go into tags but fine I’ll tag it#Bridgerton#sa cw#marital rape mention#rape mention#idk if I have a tag for that but I think I have it covered#I don’t write any analysis or meta cause I tend to be a centrist about everything and let the story play out#but I really relate to Pen’s wallflower ways so sorta defending her#but like also again the whole marketing of “Colin and Penelope’s story” sorta spoils it yknow she’s gonna be “rewarded”#and maybe she’ll get to have to work through her issues! I just don’t think they’ll have her do that cause it’s BRIDGERTON#she’s gonna “win” idk how else to say it (whether you believe she “deserves it” or not) in 8 episodes#hopefully the writers come up with a compelling story for her and Eloise and their friendship along with Pen/Colin romance but like y’all 😐#why are your expectations so high about a bodice ripper book turned tv show from the creator of Scandal and HTGAWM and Grey’s#like y’all know how it ends already…#again my fault for going in the tags#idk we’re getting four seasons minimum I just want to finish out with Ben and Sophie#if four is really all we get
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Thinking through the logical conclusions of lore that the source material has clearly not thought that deeply about can be annoying or depressing in the sense of seeing exactly how deep the plot holes go but so long as it doesn’t inherently break the suspension of disbelief or ruin your enjoyment of the overall story it can be really fun to figure out what you can use to plug the holes. Like that’s just free real estate now baby. If the lore implies X but the story wound up at Z, then you can make the journey through Y be whatever you want it to be
#writing#this is about a lot of shows but unfortunately in this specific moment it’s about#elena of avalor#now that [static noise] has a completed draft I need to finish the bed you made#it’s just like half a chapter that I ended up having to rewrite bc the first version of it ceased to work once I finished the fic#but i want to get it finished and up so I’m looking back over my draft#and just. I have. so many Thoughts#I’m v pleased with how I handled the jaquins#low key I want. to write another spin off.#(I have already written two spin offs of this fic that I haven’t even finished posting)#specifically addressing: hey where the fuck is Esteban’s spirit guide. What Is The Deal#this show DEFINITELY didn’t think through ‘everyone has a spirit guide’ lmao#i think it would kind of fuck if Shuriki uhhhhh killed his spirit guide#ANYWAY#so many apologies in advance to my subscribers when that nonsense starts appearing in your inboxes again#i have a problem#the problem is that Esteban Flores is a traumatized little stress ball and I want to shake him around like he’s in a snow globe#SORRY WE’RE AT TAKING THE DISNEY JUNIOR SHOW WAY TOO SERIOUSLY ON MAIN HOURS AGAIN#THIS JUST. THIS IS JUST GONNA HAPPEN AT LEAST UNTIL I GET THIS FIC AND ALL ITS SIDE STORIES OUT OF MY SYSTEM
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snow white looks bad this, moana 2 that. the real question is who in the world wanted a live action mufasa or lilo and stitch movie
#i’m going to bed but i’m going to complain on the internet first and immediately regret it. But like#the mufasa thing just makes me mad. no one asked and it makes no sense to do this.#but STITCH???#one of the Staples of childhood and one of the best animated d*sney movies imo#nothing will top those opening scenes for me. the music! the colors! then the storyyy#but the thing that makes me angry about this one is that live action stitch IS really cute. so diss knee can be like Hell yeah we’re -#raking in our coin with merchandise like we always do!!!! Who cares if our movies are good look at this creature!! You love him and more -#importantly your kids will recognize him on shelves heehee aren’t we so cool!!!!#the state of art and entertainment and capitalizing on recognizable IP is depressing me this fine evening#i think we should do more of what the fall guy did. that was so frickin good. an adaptation of a classic show but a fresh take -#AND jody was adapting a low budget sci fi movie from the 80s to match her wild and silly and spectacular vision#like THAT’S entertainment to me!! we can recognize stories that made us and have all these influences and still make something -#with depth and nuance that isn’t a slap in the face to viewers and that succeeds anyway because of course it will#Anyway ! no one cares to read this probably but i actually am happy that i ended up circling back to the fall guy. i wasn’t planning to LMA#let’s go fall guy my beloved the fall guy#jess.txt#i’m stressed and tired okay let me have this
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MULTIMUSE QUESTIONAIRE
Tagging: @infernalight, @infernal-feminae, @heartsofhell, @questionablemuses, @because-i-simp, @frostworkxfiction, @deepspacevivarium, @hotelbitches, @voxiiferous
RULES: Answer the questions with the Muses that would best fit the answers. Bonus if you give details why. If tagged, copy and paste into a new post – DO NOT REBLOG!
1) Rank your softest Muse and your toughest Muse. (Personality-wise)
My softest muse is definitely Vick. He's a 0 on the toughness scale, he's a big teddy bear and he will choose kindness over anything else at any point.
My toughest muse is probably Barbie. Girl is tough as nails and will not be stopped if she puts her mind to something. She doesn't take pain as a reason to stop and will go harder when it hurts.
2) Which Muse would blow through $1000 quickly?
Valentino, hands down. He spends $1,000 every day easily on things he doesn't even need. He loves to buy expensive things and will do so at all hours. He especially loves spending Vox's money. $1,000 is a drop in the bucket for him and he doesn't even notice spending it.
3) Do any of them have nicknames? Is there a meaning behind them?
Quite a few of them do!
Valentino answers to Bunny from his lovers, it's a subspace trigger word for him. I assigned him Bunny because he's Cute And Horny, aka a rabbit, and a bunny sub is fairly common.
4) Are any of them up-to-speed on the latest trends? Anyone more old school?
Velvette, Vox, and Valentino are obsessed with always being on top of the next new thing.
Alastor hates new things and will fight them as much as he can.
5) Who has the best relationship with their siblings?
Valentino had a fairly good relationship with his siblings when he was alive. He had seven of them, plus three live-in cousins that were like his siblings.
6) Karaoke night! Who is likely to grab the mic first and bust out a tune?
Beelzebub, Ozzie, Valentino, and Ostello! They all love to sing and party, and they're all pretty good at it. Ostello was a pop-jazz singer when he was alive and before he died in Hell, too!
7) Who is least likely to enter a beauty pageant/model?
Gretchen. She doesn't think that she's very pretty, and would just feel embarrassed even going to watch.
Travis. He is constantly told he's very ugly, and he doesn't have a very high opinion of his looks.
8) If your Muses visited a haunted house where actors scare you, who would panic and who would be unfazed?
Chazz, Gretchen, Charlie, Anya, Magpie, Summer, Travis, and Vick would be the easiest to scare!
Valore, Dimas, Cash, Glitz, Stu, Paimon, Alastor, Darío, Niffty, and Vox would be the hardest to phase.
9) Are any of your Muses particular about taking certain modes of transportation?
Vox prefers to be driven around and doesn't like driving himself.
Valentino only likes to drive occasionally and prefers pretty sports cars when he does.
Anya and Darío are motorcycle people.
Emily enjoys bicycles!
10) Share a little-known fact about any Muse.
Adam is actually a very good father and he loves kids and babies. He is very tender with children even if he can be harder on them once they have grown into adults.
#HEADCANONS ➽➽➽#Reciting Violence Like Poetry (α∂αм)#I’ve Found A Rainbow A Rainbow Baby Trust Me I Know Life Is Scary (ємιℓу)#I’m Standing In The Face Of All That My Story Holds In Its Wake (ναℓσяє)#What We Loved Today We’ll Lose Tomorrow But I Won’t Need To Wait For My Share Of Sorrow Because I Always Kill The Things I Love (∂ιмαѕ)#Who Needs Pepsi Juice Or Sprite? If You Do You’re Weak That’s Right (вαявιє)#I’m Gonna Take Their Hearts For Ransom ‘Cause Everybody’s Always Askin’ When You Gonna Show Us Magnum? (¢нαzz)#Money Can’t Buy Happiness But It Can Rent You Paradise (gℓιтz)#We Put Her Down In A Shallow Grave She Wears A Dress Like A Body Bag Everyday (gяєт¢нєи)#Everyone’s A Winner We’re Makin’ Our Fame Bona Fide Hustler Making My Name (ѕтυ)#Try Not To Move So Fast You Know Dessert Comes Last! (вєєℓzєвυв)#You Can Fool Yourself I Promise It Will Help Every Single Day I Just Wanna Hear You Say I’m So Lucky Lucky I’m So Lovely Lovely (¢нαяℓιє)#Define Your Meaning Of War To Me It’s What We Do When We’re Bored (ραιмσи)#If You End Up On My Table Then It Serves You Right (αℓαѕтσя)#Know I’m All Bite No Bark Like To Catch You Way Off Guard (αиуα)#Take Just One Last Dare Pretend That You Don’t Care (ℓєgισи∂αяισ)#Your Magic White Rabbit Your White Room Straight Jacket (мαgριє)#He Ran Into My Knife He Ran Into My Knife Ten Times (иιfту)#I Love You Oh So Madly But I Don’t Stand A Ghost Of A Chance With You (σѕтєℓℓσ)#Come Come Kitty Kitty You’re So Silly Silly Don’t Go Kitty Kitty Play With Me (ѕυммєя)#Don’t Be Goofy Bring Some Passion To The Table (тяανιѕ)#And If You Get In My Face Then You’ll Get A Taste Even God Would Run Son (ναℓєитιиσ)#Hollywood Made A Killing Machine She’s Like A Teenage Slaughter Movie Scene A Serial Killer Celebrity (νєℓνєттє)#Red Eyes In The Digital Paradise (νι¢к)#Let’s Stop Saying “Don’t Quote Me” Because If No One Quotes You You Probably Haven’t Said A Thing Worth Saying (νσχ)
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I wanna flesh out a yakuza oc but every time I think about it I end up thinking about an oc of mine who already Exists who’s not a yakuza oc. but is, in fact, an oc who is a yakuza. and that fact is genuinely completely unrelated
#he existed WAY before I started playing yakuza or knew really anything about it#actually he contributes to why I got into yakuza to begin with. cause when my friend first showed me y0 I was like ough… my character#grew up in this exact environment and culture and structure and etc (son of a patriarch)#so it was legitimately a good reference for his background and stuff#I kinda wanna talk about him/his background more on here but. like i said he’s. not technically a yakuza oc#and he can’t be because he. canonically. has PLAYED yakuza. like the games EXIST cause it’s just a normal real world type universe and#I won’t get into all this much but he ends up in the states on the dl for Reasons. accidentally ends up with a son when he’s 22 (son’s#mother being significantly younger but again we’re not gonna get into THAT mess). ends up seeing the first game being sold somewhere in nyc#and is unable to restrain his curiosity about it (as an Actual Yakuza) so he ends up getting his son a ps2 for his birthday partly just#as an excuse to buy and play yakuza 1 because he NEEDS to know what’s in it#something something it ends up being a weird bonding thing with his son who’s definitely too young to be watching this game being played#(he was born the same year as haruka so he’d be like. 8-9. also already a concerningly violent child with many issues but. anyway)#something something he ends up disappearing out of the blue from the states when his son is 12 but the pastime still sticks for said son#from then on. so uh. yeah weirdly significant that these games Exist in this story/universe bdsjhfdfjnd#idk why I’m avoiding saying his name. his name’s asura. he’s a year or two older than daigo (born 1974) and his family’s supposed to be a#pretty powerful one in the tokyo area and he was supposed to be a nepo baby sorta like daigo except he’s not Technically an only child- he#has a much younger sister. but obviously she wasn’t gonna be considered for taking over their father’s seat nor would she want to#she wants absolutely nothing to do with any of it and changes her last name pretty soon after moving to the US to get away from them#no beef with her brother or anything she was just treated absolutely horribly and disgustingly by older members of their family growing up#ANYWAY I should stop talking bdshshcbsnnf I didn’t mean to infodump all this the lore is just. deep with these guys#Asura wasn’t even made to be a particularly prominent character or anything it’s his SON who’s a Bonafide Main Character and asura’s ties in#the story are mostly related to Him. (though his sister is also a pretty prominent character so there’s connection there too)#rambling#also one more note. yes. the timing and location of where asura would’ve first bought yakuza 1 means that it would most likely be the#infamous original english dub version. which is hilarious to think about#especially because his son’s mom (I keep calling her that because they weren’t really in a Relationship they just co-parented and lived#together a little less than half the time. it’s complicated) Did Not Approve of a game that Adult around their kid. so she would not be fond#of walking in the room and hearing TEN YEARS IN THE JOINT MADE YOU A FUCKING PUSSY#luckily she was so young and considered her son a lost cause and a burden as it is so. she complained but didn’t really do anything about#it. I mean shit she was like. only around 24-25 I think. but yeah
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Honestly the most revolutionary thing about Gravity Falls to me is its commitment to sincerity.
I’ve been listening to Alex’s podcast where he goes into the details of each episode with different storyboard artists and writers who worked on the show, and it just baffles me how… cared for the story is. Right now in media there’s been an uptick in satire, and shows making fun of themselves for existing, or taking the piss at their own content to “win” fans to their side. It’s like whimsy is gone from so many pieces of media. But Gravity Falls just doesn’t… do that. It completely embraces itself. Weirdness and all. And so does the team behind it. I’m not used to something I care about being so cared about by everyone surrounding it.
Here’s this cartoon, written and illustrated by an entire team of people saying, “no, we’re serious. we mean this. we made this on purpose and we made it important.”
Throughout the podcast, Alex discusses little ins and outs of each character, offering so much deep internal struggles and enriching the story even farther. And listening to him unpack it with the utmost sincerity just warms my heart. Each character is so dynamic because they were cared for by people who imbued them with sincerity.
That’s exactly why we get quotes like “Shame is powerful, but it grows in the dark,” as Ford realizes the trauma he’s hidden for so long is being embraced by his family, diminishing it’s weight on him through their immediate support.
It’s why we get Alex describing Stanley with quotes like; “I always in my gut thought of him as somebody with a huge well of sadness, a loss of human connection. And that need to please? That need to get laughs from the crowd, and putting on a big show? He’s trying to get from them the affection he never got from his family, and that he lost with his brother.”
Or detailing how Mabel might be a goof… but half the time she’s doing a bit, because she’s really more mature than her brother and doesn’t want him to grow up too fast. She’s trying to help ground him and bring lightheartedness into his life. Because she knows otherwise, he’ll become too self isolated.
And those two mini character studies he dropped so casually in these podcast episodes just… color the show. It’s why the show survived so well even after ten years. It’s gruff-old Stan always calling his niece “Pumpkin” and “Honey”. It’s the family always holding hands without it behind laced with a joke, and falling asleep on one another in the car. It’s Alex explaining that people toyed with other endings, other plot lines, other twists, but it was always going to end with Stan and Ford mending the family tie they severed thirty years ago. Because that was their story. Messes and family and care.
Ten years ago, watching it for the first time as it came out, I felt all that. But now, as an adult, knowing that all the other adults who made it felt the exact same way? :,) What a special story we all got to grow up with, and get to continue being apart of.
#gravity falls#the pines family#pines twins#gravity falls meta#gosh i’ll never stop loving this show#stanford pines#stanley pines#dipper pines#mable pines#roseys musings
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i think about this a lot. because the thing is, i don’t think either of them are truly to blame for the seals they broke. dean was tortured into submission and had no idea that there could be such massive consequences to giving in; sam was manipulated and deceived and honestly thought what he was doing would stop the apocalypse, not set it in stone. neither of them willingly chose to break a seal, and neither of them had any way of knowing what they were really doing. they were key pawns in a game they didn’t even realize was being played, not active participants in it. and i don’t think you can really blame someone for falling victim to that.
but if you are going to blame sam for his part in it, you also have to blame dean for his. either both of them are responsible for accidentally breaking the most important seals, or neither of them are.
didn't...didn't dean break the first seal? why is everyone on sam's case for being manipulated into killing lilith (which he thought was a good thing bc hey demon dead) but not on dean's case for torturing souls and LIKING it? protect sam winchester oml
#this plays into a lot of thoughts i have about their roles in the show#the way i see it sam is the protagonist from a plot perspective (at least at first)#but the narrative lives in dean’s head. the show is filtered through the lens of how he sees things#and the way the show just…forgets about dean’s role in breaking a seal once sam does the same#mirror’s dean’s tendency to latch onto other people’s wrongdoings to escape the guilt he feels about his own#if the story is told through dean’s eyes then of course sam is the only one we’re told to blame in the end#because dean himself is trying desperately to not think about what he did#and projecting those feelings onto sam is the only way he really knows how to do that#but just like dean never really believes it — guilt doesn’t go away just because you repress it and he still winds up hating himself#the show also never really believes it and that’s why the absence of blame placed on dean is so glaring if you’re paying attention#it feels wrong because it is wrong. we know that because the show knows that because dean knows that#but dean can’t admit it so the show can’t admit it#and that makes it easy to ignore. easy to not pay attention to. easy to just pay attention to sam instead#ofc i don’t think they did any of that on purpose#but it’s unintentionally a really interesting framing that exists throughout the entire show#not to mention sam being the plot protagonist also makes sense if the narrative lives in dean’s head#because sam is the most important character in dean’s life#and just like being a protagonist often means you pay for the spotlight by going through the most horrors#sam’s role as the most important person to dean often just causes him more pain#so yeah. in my mind sam is the main character of the story but dean is the one telling it#which actually also puts an interesting spin on the ending post-dean death#that sam’s life montage is all weird and blurry because it’s not real at all#it’s what dean imagines — maybe hopes — sam will have after he’s gone#the nice happy future for sam that he has to believe in so he can let go#ANYWAY i’ll shut up now. this show is eating my brain#spn posting
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I think I’ve seen some similar takes on this already but the whole lila and five get stuck in the time line subway subplot had a lot of potential actually but they just BUTCHERED it with the whole romance thing
imo the could have just done this:
- show them bickering and arguing, fighting over wich station/line to chose next in a sibling like manner
- show lila falling asleep on fives shoulder as she keeps mumbling about some stupid thing Diego has done while five tops that story with an even more stupid anecdote from their childhood
- show five trying to shave himself without a mirror and failing miserably until lila rolls her eyes and goes “give it here you absolute imbecile” and then helping him out BUT STAYING AT A REASONABLE DISTANCE AND NOT BREATHING ALL OVER HIS FACE
- show them freezing on the subway floor, five mentioning how they could save body heat by staying close to each other, visibly uncomfortable, and lila pulls a face but they end up falling asleep shoulder to shoulder NOT CUDDLING
- show them at the greenhouse timeline, covering the walls with self-drawn maps and complicated calculations, brooding night after day after night, trying to figure this out with lila drawing little hearts on the paper with her kids initials in it
- show five finding the map on the subway, immediately rushing to tell lila whose face lights up like a supernova and as she exclaims “fuck, we’re going home!” she tries to high five him (it doesn’t really work, because five does NOT do high fives) and then pulls him in for a hug. five just about lets that happen, but he smiles a tiny smile and they arrive just in time for Christmas
basically instead of the romance that gave everyone the ick, they could have just gone for the whole sibling like dynamic between the two of them that I adored a lot in the previous season(s)!!!!
#tua#tua season 4#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy spoilers#I never post stuff like this but season 4 made me angry#needed to get this out of my system#if you have any ideas to add please do so!!!#fanon is all we have now#five hargreeves#lila pitts
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Deadpool and Wolverine might actually be the best love letter to Marvel that I’ve seen.
On a meta level, the movie feels like it was written in response to people dismissing the Marvel properties that aren’t the MCU. The MCU is the “Sacred Timeline” while everyone else gets thrown into the trash aka the Void. Wade even tried to become an Avenger because he feels that his life doesn’t matter. Then, Wade gets a chance to join the MCU. Of course, he’s thrilled, but is then told that the rest of his universe is getting destroyed since they lost its “anchor” (aka it lost its relevance). So, Wade decides to fight for his universe.
On a surface level, you can read this movie as a criticism of the MCU in that it’s treating the only stories worth a damn as the ones coming from that universe. But I don’t think that’s the case. I mean, first off, this was made by Marvel Studios. Feige and Co had to sign off on this and a great deal of the plot stems from the Loki show. Second, the movie felt more like it was trying to say that ALL Marvel stories matter. It’s not really criticizing the MCU, it’s criticizing how audiences view the Marvel movies/shows that aren’t the MCU. The “why should I care about this movie if it doesn’t lead to the next Avengers movie” attitude.
That’s why I say this was the best love letter to Marvel I’ve seen. It’s a celebration of the company’s works, both MCU and non-MCU. You can see that from the Easter eggs, the cameos, the nods to the fandom, and the emphasis on forgotten characters getting a chance at redemption. Even the jabs at the company and fanbase feel like they come from a place of love.
But what really sold me on this movie being a love letter to Marvel was the ending. Instead of a tease to a potential De4dpool movie, it was a montage of the development of the Fox Marvel movies (I can’t say X-Men since clips of the Fantastic Four were there). On one side, it’s a touching send-off to the Fox X-Men franchise. On the other side, it felt like a reminder of why people love Marvel to begin with. It’s these people - actors, writers, directors, producers - coming together to make these entertaining stories for us, to bring the comics to life on the big screen. It’s like Ryan Reynolds was telling us to take a step back from all the conspiracy theorizing, nitpicking, and fanbase drama for a couple of hours, that we should just enjoy this Marvel movie as it is.
And it worked. It was genuinely just a fun, awesome movie to watch. If we’re using the MCU-as-a-TV-show-analogy that people love using, Deadpool and Wolverine is the 100th episode that is made dedicated to the fans and celebrating the show as a whole. It’s a fanservice movie done right, one that goes beyond just references and cameos.
#marvel#mcu#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#wade wilson#james logan howlett#logan howlett#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#xmen#fantastic four#x men#fox xmen#marvel studios#loki#loki show#loki tv#kevin feige#the avengers#marvel thoughts#mcu thoughts#marvel stuff
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Could you write a Rafe x reader fic where reader says she wants to spend more time with Rafe, but he gets upsets and says something mean in the heat of the moment. Reader is upset and stops "bothering" him and initially Rafe doesn't realise it, but he figures out you're ignoring him
Maybe with a fluffy HEA ending, but if you want to keep it angsty I'm also all for it (:
hope you like it! ⭐️ it was a quiet friday night when you finally found the courage to bring it up. things with rafe hadn’t been the same for a while. he was always out with friends or buried in work, his phone practically glued to his hand. you could see him drifting further and further away, and it left you feeling like an afterthought. you missed him, missed the little moments when he’d look at you like you were the only person in the world.
so, you decided to say something—softly, carefully—as the two of you sat on the couch with takeout boxes scattered around you.
“hey…baby,” you started, keeping your voice light. “i was thinking… it’d be nice if we could spend a little more time together, you know? just us.”
rafe barely looked up, shoveling food into his mouth. “what’re you talking about?” he mumbled through a bite. “we’re together now, aren’t we?”
you forced a smile. “yeah, but… i mean like actually spending time together. like doing something fun. or even just… talking.”
he let out an irritated sigh, setting his food down with a clatter. “are you serious right now? i’ve got so much shit to deal with, and you’re really gonna start whining about ‘spending time together’? Jesus, can you just not be so goddamn needy for once?”
the words hit you like a punch. you froze, staring at him, trying to process the fact that he’d actually said that. rafe’s face was already turned away, clearly oblivious to the way his words had cut through you.
you felt your throat tighten, but you managed to swallow back the hurt, forcing yourself not to react. the last thing you wanted was to give him more reason to see you as a burden. so, you nodded, blinking down at your food, even though you suddenly couldn’t eat a bite.
“sorry,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him. but rafe didn’t hear, or maybe he just didn’t care enough to ask you to repeat it. he’d already gone back to his phone, acting like the conversation had never even happened.
that night, you made a decision. if rafe wanted space, you’d give him space. you stopped asking him to go out with you, to spend time together, to do any of the little things you used to enjoy. when he came home late, you didn’t wait up. when he sat down on the couch, you found something else to do. if he wanted room, you’d make sure he had more than enough of it.
at first, rafe didn’t seem to notice the change. he thought you were just busy with work or hanging out with friends, maybe that you’d taken his words to heart. it wasn’t until a few days had passed that he started to feel the shift, the strange, nagging quiet in the air whenever you were around.
you were no longer the warm, lively presence you used to be, filling the silence with laughter, stories, and little gestures of affection. instead, you felt distant, almost guarded, your movements careful, like you were tiptoeing around him. you didn’t smile at him the way you used to; you didn’t light up when he came home. you’d become polite, restrained, keeping just enough distance that he felt it even when he didn’t want to.
one night, rafe came home late, expecting to see you in the living room with a book or a show. but the lights were dim, the place eerily silent, and when he checked the bedroom, you were already asleep. he stood there for a moment, feeling an odd pang of emptiness. he brushed it off, but as the days went by, the feeling gnawed at him more and more, leaving him with an ache he couldn’t ignore.
finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. one night, he found you alone in the kitchen, stirring a cup of tea with your gaze far away. he leaned against the counter, crossing his arms as he watched you, his expression unreadable.
“are you avoiding me or something?” he asked, his tone sharper than he’d intended.
you looked up, a flicker of surprise in your eyes before you masked it with a tight smile. “no, i’m not avoiding you, rafe. i just… didn’t want to bother you.”
that word—bother—hit him hard, dredging up the memory of his own callous words. he felt something twist in his chest as he realized what he’d done, how his careless anger had made you feel so small, like you didn’t even deserve to be there.
“fuck,” he muttered, raking a hand through his hair. “look, i’m sorry, alright? i was a complete asshole, princess. i was stressed, and i took it out on you, and i shouldn’t have done that.”
you shrugged, your face guarded, unreadable. “it’s fine. i get it. you’re busy, and i didn’t want to get in your way.”
“Jesus, stop saying that,” he mumbled, stepping closer, his voice softer now, almost pleading. “you’re not in my way. you’re the only person who… who makes all this shit bearable. i just didn’t see it until you started pulling away.”
for a long moment, you said nothing, just staring at him, weighing his words. finally, he took a tentative step forward, reaching for your hand. when you didn’t pull away, he felt a flicker of hope.
“let me make it up to you,” he whispered, his voice rough. “i’ll cancel my plans this weekend. we’ll do whatever you want, i swear. just… give me another chance.”
your gaze softened, and a small, hesitant smile crept onto your lips. “alright. one chance.”
he pulled you into his arms, wrapping you up in a tight embrace, his relief flooding through him. you relaxed into him, and for the first time in days, you felt the warmth return, that aching void in your chest slowly filling up again.
“i’m sorry, baby,” he murmured, his voice low, genuine. “i swear, i’ll never take you for granted again. you mean too fucking much to me.”
you let your head rest on his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat steady beneath you, his arms strong and comforting. and as he held you there, you felt the hurt start to fade, replaced by a quiet, growing hope that maybe, just maybe, things would be different this time.
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole
#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe fic#rafe#rafe x you#rafe cameron x reader#rafe obx#rafe cameron#rafe imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron blurb#rafecore#૮꒰ྀིo̴��̷̤⩊o̴̶̷̤꒱ྀིა lamy req.。 ♡#rafe angst#rafe fanfiction
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OnlyFans
Best Friend!Yang Jeongin x Afab!Reader
✦ Genre: Friends to Lovers - non-idol - [18+ Only]
✦ Content Description: 6.6k + 11 screenshots
✦ Summary: Your best friend finds out about your OnlyFans account which leads to you discovering how you really feel about him.
✦ CW: Unintentional exhibitionism(?), Unprotected sex [wrap it up party people] ✦ A/N: This is my FIRST Jeongin fic and I am hella excited! (and nervous) I really hope that you enjoy it! This is a hybrid of fake texts and story so make sure to open it all the way to see it all! AHH I'm so nervous.+ reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ ✧ Masterlist ✧
Sleep abandoned you after you and Jeongin spoke, your thoughts were everywhere and nowhere and your body was working against you. Why does the fact that your best friend thinks that you’re hot turn you on? Why are you imagining him touching himself to the sounds of you moaning while you fuck yourself?
Is he big?
How would he feel?
Wait - how did he not recognize your voice?
You never show your face, only the shoulders down, but you’ve uploaded voice notes. You’ve done tons of horny rambles that he had to have listened to. Okay, wait wait wait, does he only get off to you? He said that you’re the only girl that he follows on the site… Okay, stop, brain shut the fuck up.
The next day you tried to operate how you normally would. You went to the gym, you got your morning coffee, you thought about Jeongin moaning at the sight of you, you screamed in your car and you went back home. Honestly, this is working out great.
You did everything that you could to distract yourself from the unending thoughts. You did laundry, watched TV, skipped rope on your balcony, you even started color organizing your closet. That’s when your phones started ringing with that tone that you know all too well.
You stared at it for what felt like a second, you tried to calm yourself down and cursed yourself out in your head for making this such a big deal. He said that he doesn’t care. He won’t mention it, he’ll just get off to your videos and that’s that. Jeongin is your best friend who finds you hot and touches himself to your videos, that’s so normal. You’re so normal about this.
By the time you finally hyped yourself up to answer his call the phone stopped ringing and you let out a huff of heavy air that you weren’t even aware you were holding. You’ll call him back…later.
Not even three minutes later there’s knocking at your front door and you rush to open it. You’re expecting a package today so this must be it. You swing the door open and your heart jumps out of your chest and runs down the hall. “Are you okay?”
Jeongin waves in front of your face to grab your attention as you stare at him, unmoving. “I called, you didn’t answer.” You clear your throat but end up choking a bit from how dry it is. You opt for nodding your head while you desperately swallow your spit to try and save you from further embarrassment.
“Right, yeah yeah come in, what’s up?” You hastily stumble to the side as you open your door wider. He stalks in like he always does, comfortable and confident. “You have my green jacket, Felix hyung wanted to borrow it tonight.”
”I gave that back, didn’t I?” You smooth down your skirt, suddenly feeling super self conscious. He’s seen you in this exact outfit more times than you can count but it’s different this time, right? No, it’s not supposed to be different. We’re acting normal. We’re so normal about this.
”Noona?” His fingers wrap around your wrist and you jump out of your thoughts, literally. “Is everything alright? You keep spacing out.”
Has his hand always been this damn big? That’s all that you can think to yourself as you stare down at where he’s holding you. “I’m fine, Jeongin,”
”You usually call me Innie.” He retorts with furrowed brows until it all clicks for him. “Is this about last night?”
You pull away from him like he’s on fire and start power walking to your bedroom before he can say another word. “I’ll go look for that jacket.”
You slam your room door closed behind you and sink to the floor against it immediately after. This is crazy, you’re acting crazy and horny and - and - fuck, has his hand always been that big?
Has he always called you noona that smoothly? Has he always been like… that? Wait, no, pull it together. Find the jacket and send him away so you can spiral in peace.
After about ten minutes of searching through the mess you made and battling your inner demons you find the jacket that Jeongin came for. When you leave your bedroom you expect to see him sitting on your couch but you find him in your kitchen instead. He’s washing your dishes while he hums some song that you’re sure that you could identify if you concentrated but you can’t think straight. Your brain isn’t working at all because your best friend is standing there, at your sink, washing your dishes… In only a white tank top and gray sweatpants.
Your eyes find the discarded sports sweater he arrived in thrown sloppily over one of your counter stools before they quickly return to Jeongin’s toned back. This shirt should be illegal. He shouldn’t be allowed to look this good.
You stand there, jacket in hand and thighs pressed together while you try to muster up the courage to say something, anything. Just as you’re about to speak he turns around with a cup full of water but it’s only full for a second before he jumps with a scream and pours it all over himself.
”Ya, noona!” He huffs, bracing himself against the counter. “What the hell? You scared the life outta me.” He drops the now empty cup into the sink and braces himself with both hands against the marble.
“Why are you just standing there?” You don’t even hear his question. You can’t hear anything except for the fast beating of your heart and incoherent screaming from your last brain cell as you take in the sight before you.
The front of his shirt is soaked and you can see right through the fabric sticking to each and every dip and contour of his unbelievable body. Has he always been… so hot? “Noona, seriously, what is going on with you? Do we need to talk about something?”
He steps towards you and you take a clumsy step back. “I uh, found the jacket.” You sit the jacket on the stool where his sweater is then look back at him. You look him in the eyes this time to avoid possibly fainting but you quickly discover that his gaze is just as intoxicating.
“Forget the jacket, I’m trying to figure out if -“ He takes another step towards you and you take two back.
“Okay, so I’ll see you later, right? Awesome, later Innie.” You rush back to your bedroom just as he takes another step to try to stop you. You slam the door shut and repeat the same routine as earlier. When did he get so hot?
What the fuck? Did he just ask you if you like it?…Why is the answer yes? Why does that make every thought that you’ve been thinking for the past 12 hours way worse? You gotta pull it together, you can’t let a simple question cause you to spiral. He probably didn’t even mean it like that…right?
You spend the next three hours trying to forget that text. You take a shower and cook yourself a dinner that you barely even touch because it’s not what you want. It’s not him, do you want him?
You drag yourself to your bedroom after you stuff your leftovers in the fridge and plop down on your bed. You scream into your mattress once or twice before you decide that you can’t take it anymore, you need to do something. Anything.
Before you can even really think about it you’re in your closet that should honestly count as a second bedroom but you're fine with it being your mini studio. This is where you’ve filmed every video, where you capture every picture and record every ramble. This is where you are when you make the content that Jeongin loves. Maybe he’ll love this too.
You make yourself a bit comfortable in front of the large mirror on the wall and turn on your voice recorder. “Hey there…Do you have a second? I just wanna get something outta my head.”
You settle into the fluffiness of your bean bag chair and spread your legs in front of the mirror. Your pajama shorts ride up a bit and the thin gusset exposes just enough of your cunt for you to take in. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, yeah you. I can’t get you off of my mind and it’s driving me crazy.”
You sigh into your phone, glancing down at the recorder to make sure that it’s still running. Your free hand runs over the scarf tying your hair back and trails down the side of your neck. Your fingers brush over your sweet spots slowly and carefully kinda how you think he would do it.
”I want you.” It’s more of a whisper than you intended but you keep going. “I want you so badly that it’s driving me mad. I bet you know that though, don’t you?”
You nearly say Jeongin’s name at the end of that sentence and you nearly moan it into the air when your fingers brush over your nipples. “Tell me that you thought about me too.”
Your hands start moving faster, grazing your covered and exposed skin with a hungry haste that you’re sure that Jeongin would recreate. He’d explore you with a lust driven by curiosity and desire. He’d rip you apart and take his sweet time putting you back together. He’d be rough and gentle, slow and fast, shallow and deep. He’d be everything.
You didn’t even realize that you were still talking into the recorder when your eyes snap open. You have no clue what you’ve said and you have no clue when you started rubbing at your clit but you don’t care. Moans are tumbling from your chapped lips as drool threatens to spill over the corners.
There’s nothing but pure carnal desire lingering around you and it’s all for your best friend. All for a man that you’ve never looked twice at until today, or have you? You always knew that Jeongin was attractive. You always felt a tingle when he’d hold you or play around with you but you’ve learned to push it down. It was manageable until last night. That’s when the dam broke.
”In- I - I need you.” You almost said it, almost let it slip. “Touch me please, please.”
Your fingers are slipping inside before you can even process it. You’re stroking up against your g-spot at a pace that should be painful but you feel nothing but bliss because you’re thinking of nothing but him. Him him him.
The slick sounds of your cunt are loud enough to be caught on the recorder but you wouldn’t be surprised if they’re completely overshadowed by your moans. “Make me cum, please please please, m’ gonna cum.”
Your vision is going white before you can even take a deep breath, it gets caught in your throat as you cry out. You’re panting, mumbling curses left and right and then right as you’re ending the recording it finally slips. “Innie”
After sitting and staring at your reflection for maybe thirty minutes you finally pulled yourself up off of your bean bag chair and freshened up. You plopped down onto your bed face first and screamed, this seems to be becoming a routine.
Once you get a grip you sit up against your pillows and stare at the new audio. How could you make this while thinking about Jeongin? Are you a terrible friend? Can you blame him for being hot? Can you say that it’s all his fault and just live life hating him for ever finding your account? No, I mean, yeah you could but that would be stupid.
You load the audio into your Only Fans account and put together the new post. You usually wouldn’t think twice about uploading a ramble, you’d usually listen to it in your headphones to check the quality and then throw it online for your subscribers to enjoy but this one feels different. This one feels wrong to post. After a bit of debating you take a deep breath and go for it. It can’t be that bad right?
Nevermind
It’s been about an hour since you posted the audio and it’s gotten back to back likes and comments. You’ve even gotten some chat requests with tips that you plan to reply to later but the one that just came in caught your attention.
You don’t know what it is about it, maybe it’s the username or the energy behind their message but you’re almost a thousand percent positive that it’s Jeongin on the other side of this chat.
You sound so pretty in your new audio. You’re really fueling my imagination tonight. I.2.n.8 Sent a tip
You stare at the message for so long that you forget to blink. This is so obviously him. The user name is a dead giveaway. Jeongin is messaging you about your new ramble… you shouldn’t reply.
Fuck.
You replied. You replied and you flirted so fucking hard that you’re sure that he’s blushing in his bed just like you are right now. You’ve talked to plenty of guys like this. You flirt and make them feel special and then boom more tips but you don’t even care about the money right now, not when you’re having so much fun texting - sexting - the only man that’s been on your mind. Your best friend.
When you see Jeongin the next day at a small get together you expect it to be awkward. You expected for him to give you knowing looks from across the crowded restaurant table but he didn’t. He acted completely normal like he hasn’t been sexting his best friend for the past eight hours.
You tried your best to mimic his demeanor. You spoke to him as normally as you possibly could and as the night went on it got easier to ignore the elephant in the room. You stole some food off of his plate and even sang karaoke with him at the bar that you went to afterwards. You almost forgot about the messages, until you got home.
Care to help me with a situation, sweetie? I’ll make it worth it, I promise. I.2.N.8 Sent a tip
Holy Fuck, that’s a big tip… like, money… that kind of tip. You sat on the edge of your bed with a messy cocktail of cheap liquor running through your veins and giving you confidence to do things that will surely have you screaming into your mattress later, and not in the way that you really want.
You strip down and head to your closet, clicking a few pictures in poses that you’ve never tried before and some that are your tried and true classics. You hold your breath as you organize the album and attach a price to it. If he really wants to see it he can pay, you’ll be needing the money to fund your therapy sessions after this anyway cause this teasing is driving you insane.
Right when you send the set to the ‘mystery’ guy a text from Jeongin drops down into view and you’re instantly covered in goosebumps.
Ayen 🥐❣️: I had fun with you today, missed you. Ayen 🥐❣️: I work late tomorrow but I’m free the day after, wanna come over?
This is suspicious… right? You should decline. Yeah definitely decline, you don’t wanna risk anything happening that could ruin your friendship.
You’re screaming into your mattress again.
You accepted the invitation as you were thinking about declining it.
You never stood a chance.
You don’t sleep, instead you plan a cute but chill outfit to wear when you go over to his place. It’s not a date but you still wanna be cute, this isn’t weird. This is normal.
What’s not normal is the way that you’ve been glued to your phone since this chat with Jeongin popped up. You’re not neglecting your other messages but you do spend extra time on his chat. You give him exclusive content that barely costs a thing and you’re fucking enjoying it. You’re addicted. So much so that when you get to Jeongin’s house the next day for your hang out it’s all that you can think about.
You’ve been here for about an hour and a half. You thought that it was just gonna be you and Jeongin. You thought that it was gonna be a nice best friend date. It’s not.
“You seriously never saw that video before?” Jisung asks Felix with a mouth half full of whatever he ordered a bit ago. You’re sitting next to Jeongin on the couch with his roommate Seungmin next to him and his other roommate Felix on the floor with Jisung. ”Never.”
They fall into some conversation that everyone seems to be paying attention to but you. You’re too busy staring at your blacked out phone screen as you try to cope with the fact that you’re sitting next to the man that you’re secretly sexting.
He hasn’t made anything weird just like he promised, everything is fine. You just need to calm - what the fuck?
Your phone chimes and your screen lights up to show a browser notification. An OnlyFans notification. You look over to the man next to you to catch him stuffing his phone in his pocket while he laughs at something that Felix said. Did he seriously just text you?
He did. You open your browser and the message is right there. Staring at you while you stare at him.
Bet you’re lookin’ so pretty today, sweetie. I.2.n.8 Sent a tip Mind showing me what you’re wearing today?
You gulp down the spit pooling in your mouth and choke a bit but you hide the cough well, you think. Why would he text you now? Why here? Maybe this is a good chance to see if it’s really him. Yeah, this is your chance.
You type the cutest reply you can think of while your heart does the cha cha slide in your chest and hit send. You hold your breath as you wait for the ding but you’re choking once again when you actually hear it.
Jeongin reaches into his pocket and smiles down at his phone. He doesn’t unlock it. He doesn’t check the message. But you know what he does? He fucking smiles at you.
“You okay, noona? You’re spacing out again.” Seungmin is replying before you can even open your mouth.
“Maybe if you actually spoke to her instead of texting that OnlyFans girl she wouldn’t have to daydream.” The other two instigate Seungmin’s teasing and Jeongin only rolls his eyes with a smile.
“You’d be obsessed with her too if you’ve seen what I’ve seen” He settles back into the cushions a bit, extending his arm to the back of the couch behind you. He feels so much closer to you like this, or maybe it’s just because he’s talking about you to all of your friends. “She’s worth obsessing over.”
“Share her account then.” You jump a bit at the suggestion, it was quick but it was enough to gain Felix and Jisung’s attention. Jeongin is the opposite of you. He isn’t phased by the suggestion one bit, he just smiles down at his lap and shakes his head. “Nope, she’s a treasure that I plan to keep to myself.”
Seungmin scoffs and the other two start with the teasing again but Felix’s gaze keeps floating back to you. You try your best to relax, no one knows that you’re the OnlyFans girl so they aren’t actually talking about you. But this on top of Jeongin texting you while sitting right next to you is starting to be too much.
“Yeah yeah, tease all you want, I’m getting a drink.” Jeongin asks if anyone else wants anything from the kitchen and collects requests from almost everyone except for you. You just sit there quietly staring at your lap, quietly dying inside until the burning in your chest gets your feet moving.
“I’ll be back.” You mumble but only Felix replies, he’s the only one that heard you and his eyes follow you as you take the same path that Jeongin did a second ago.
Your friend is looking into the open fridge when you get to the kitchen. He’s grabbing a bottle of water when he notices you come around the corner.
“Hey, did you want -“
“Not here.” You whisper through clenched teeth, it’s quick and quiet enough for you to get the point across and then escape. “Do not message me here, are you insane?” Jeongin closes the fridge, water bottle in hand and a grin on his lips.
”What?” You look back to make sure that you’re still alone before stepping closer to him. ”Do not text me here.”
”Why would I be texting you when you’ve been right next to me?” He sips from the bottle in his hands before sitting it down. “I think that you’re confused about -“
”You’re I.2.n.8, I know you are. You’re the one who’s been tipping me and texting me on OF for days.” Jeongin looks down at the tile in an attempt to hide the smug grin on his face. “You promised not to make it weird.”
”I kept my promise.” He shrugs, looking back up at you with a different gaze, a darker one. “I haven’t made anything weird. I haven’t brought it up. It’s you who thinks that I’m texting you.”
He steps closer, leaving little room between you two. You can feel your face getting hot, the temperature is rising with each second that your eyes are on his. Your thighs press together and you take it as a desperate plea from your body but you don’t know what for. “ Do you want it to be me texting you?”
The air feels too thick with him so close, you can’t breathe. It’s too much. You turn away, desperate to retreat back to your safe space on the couch but he grabs your wrist before you can escape.
His other hand finds your waist and guides your back against the marble counter next to the fridge. “Don’t run away from me again, noona.” There’s barely an inch between you two and the air feels dry at this point. Your tongue feels too heavy to control in your mouth so you dip it out to skate across your bottom lip. Jeongin watches the movement carefully, too carefully.
”Tell me, do you want it to be me, hm?” He shifts, caging you between his arms as he leans against the counter. You catch the flex of his muscles from the corner of your eye and it makes you feel dizzy, what is going on? “Do you want it to be me who tells you how badly I wanna ruin such a pretty thing like you?”
You bite back a groan and sink into the surface behind you. He steps forward, now impossibly close as he moves to whisper in your ear. “Is that what you want, sweetie?”
Oh fuck, it is him. It’s really him.
”Jeongin, we can’t” You’re whispering to him so he whispers back. “Can’t what? What are you thinking about? I’ve only asked you a question.”
”You can’t be this close to me.” Your words feel forced and your limbs feel heavy as you try to find a way to settle against him. “This isn’t right.”
”Yeah? So you touching yourself in your closet and moaning my name is fine? But this isn’t right?” Your eyes widen the second those words leave his mouth, how did he know that you film in your closet? He’s been there a couple of times of course, he’s sat in your bean bag chair and he’s helped you pick out outfits but he never knew that you do Only Fans. So if he knows that you’ve been filming in your closet that means he recognized it from one of your videos… which means that he also had to have recognized you.
“You knew that it was me the whole time didn’t you?” Your eyes flick from his to his lips and back up. “You knew that it was my account.” His lips spread into a wide mouth smile as he mimics your previous pattern with his dark pupils.
“Maybe I did.” He moves his hand to your arm, running his fingers over the exposed flesh of your wrist. Every touch feels like fire as the pads of his fingers glide up your forearm. “Maybe I hoped it was you.”
His fingers press into your flesh every so slightly, it’s enough to make you shift into a firmer press of your thighs. “Maybe I only subscribed to the account because it looked like you.”
His fingers take their time going over the curve of your shoulder. They tease the strap of your top for a second, before dancing up the curve of your neck. “Guess I got lucky, huh?”
That was what tipped the bucket. That is what had you crashing your lips to his and wiping that smug smile off of his face in an instant. He moans into your mouth before you can moan into his, his hand cups your neck, pulling you closer as his other hand grabs at your waist.
It’s heated and sloppy. He feels just as desperate as you do with every clumsy swipe of his tongue over yours. You’re panting into his mouth, only pulling away for half a second to breathe before you’re tasting him again.
Your hands grab at his flexing arms, scratching and kneading the flesh before you move to make fists into the fabric of his shirt. He feels unreal, he’s more than what you dreamed of. He feels so strong and soft and he tastes like lust itself.
You press your body further into his, taking in the matching thump of his heart to yours as your lips move in an impossible rhythm. It’s clear that you both feel the same hunger, the same longing, the same need for each other. Maybe this was driving him insane too.
“Jump.” His command is muffled and wet against your lips but you understand him and swiftly obey. His hands move to the back of your thighs to help you up onto the counter and he briskly fills in the space between your parted legs with his slim waist.
You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands wander up your clothed thighs, his fingers dig into the plush flesh with a deep groan. “Fuck, do you know how long I’ve thought of this?” He trails kisses over your cheek and over the shell of your ear.
“I watched every video.” He moves down the curve of your neck, nipping and kissing the flesh to milk moans from your parted lips. “I listened to every audio. I saved every picture.”
He sucks bruises into your clavicle, licking over the rising cherry marks and planting sloppy kisses. “But none of that is as good as this.” You’re panting and moaning into his ear. Words don’t make sense. They jumble and disappear behind your eyes with each rough grab and desperate lick.
“Do you feel as good as you look, sweetie?” Your eyes flutter open when he pulls back from your neck. Both of your lids are low and your eyes have a lustful haze fogging them. “Can I please feel you?” His hands explore you while you fight with your tongue to form words. They skim over your curves and make you feel like you’re electric. You’ve wanted this, you wanted this so badly.
“We shouldn’t.” Your mouth forms the wrong words and you curse yourself for it. Jeongin just nods at you, hands still exploring your body until they reach your breast. He cups them, squeezing a bit and running his thumbs over your hardened nipples.
“We shouldn’t” He repeats after you, massaging your breast more intensely and pressing the prominent bulge in his sweatpants firm against your cunt. Your breath hitches and your eyes flutter shut.
“We can’t” It comes out as a moan as he leans in and sucks on the flesh on the other side of your neck. Your fingers rake through his hair and he groans at the slight tug you give. “You’re my best friend.”
“Don’t worry about making things weird.” He whispers between kisses to the shell of your ear. “Just worry about what you want.”
He pulls away again, fox eyes staring into yours. “You’re not gonna lose me, don’t worry.” Your eyes search his for a second and you can feel your resolve breaking.
“Touch me.” Your voice is barely above a whisper but he heard you, he’s just going to act like he didn’t. “Say it again.”
“Touch me, Innie, please. I wan’ it.” His hand is slipping down the front of your shorts in an instant. Everything is back to being clumsy and rough, fast and desperate. He moans when the pads of his fingers run over your slick folds.
“No panties, sweetie?” His eyes roll back and he bites at his bottom lip to try to control himself.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” He hooks his fingers into the side of your shorts and starts trying to work them down your thighs. “I need you, it’s driving me mad.”
You lift up for him and when you come back down his lips are on yours. “You’re driving me insane.” He whispers against your spit slick lips, his forehead is pressed to yours as his fingers roam your slippery cunt. He covers you in your own slick, dipping in and out of your folds and teasing your waiting hole.
“Please, no teasing, I can’t take it.” He rubs your clit, once then twice before slipping back down. “Innie, please I’ll be so good. I’ll be so good for you please just fuck me.”
He pushes a finger into you slowly, taking in the soaked warmth that he caused. This is all because of him and his cock twitches at the thought. You moan and arch your back, your nails dig into his forearms as he moves. His rhythm is steady and unfamiliar, it makes your body sing in a way that no one else ever has.
“You’re so tight, noona. So wet.” His eyes are glued to where his finger is disappearing inside of you. He adds another, pushing in slowly before taking his previous pace. “Oh fuck, this is how it looks when you fuck yourself. When you take those toys and stuff your cunt. Shit, it’s so hot.”
You’re grinding into his hand, meeting his fingers when they fill you to the knuckle. Your tongue is poked between your teeth in an attempt to keep yourself quiet but you’ve already failed. Each thrust is met with a whining whimper that Jeongin eats up like candy.
“Innie, Innie, c-can you curl them please? Curl your fingers inside of - holy shit, yes yes yes.” He watches your eyes roll back as your orgasm builds and builds.
“Did you think of me?” His voice is thick with lust as he watches you. “When you made your last audio, did you think about me?” You’re shaking your head before you can even filter the question. You admit it shamelessly as you chase your high that’s dangling in front of you.
“Yes, I did I did, I thought of you.” Your orgasm rushes up your legs and blurs your vision with one more stroke of his fingers but he’s pulling out before you can ride it out. You whimper at the loss but a gasp quickly follows when you’re filled with something thicker.
“I know.” He moans, bracing himself against the cabinet behind your head as he pushes into you. “You said my name in the audio, you know that?”
He bottoms out with a groan, your cunt is spasming around him as your previous orgasm rips through you but you can already feel another one building as the first one subsides. His other hand settles at the nape of your neck and he pulls you in for a searing kiss.
You can’t breathe being this full of him. With his tongue exploring your mouth and his cock stretching your walls. It feels like you're suffocating in the most delicious way. “Shit, your pussy takes - takes me so well.” You can feel his control dissolving. It’s evident in the way he pants against you and how his dark eyes droop lower and lower with each unsteady pull of his hips.
“I wanna take my time with you.” He whispers against your lips. “I wanna but I can’t.” He’s whining, moaning and cursing into the air as he drags against your walls. You can’t even really hear him if you’re being honest. Between the sloppy sounds of your cunt being fucked, the rapid beating of your heart and ringing in your ears you’re completely clocked out. Utterly brain-dead.
“Please, let me hear you. Please, I wanna know what you sound like when I fuck you.” Your voice shakes with a moan of his name as he switches his pace. His thrusts become faster and deeper, his breathing ragged, he’s doing his best to fuck you how he’s seen you fuck yourself. He’s doing his best to ruin you the same way that he imagined every time that he’d jerk his cock to your content.
“More more more, please. Deeper, I wan’ it deeper.” His hands move to your thighs at your request and he pulls your ass to the very edge of the counter. He supports your legs on either side of him while you brace yourself against the side of the fridge.
He pushes into you until his pelvis is flush against you. Every single thick inch of him is buried inside of you. Your pussy swells around him, squeezing him so perfectly that he lets his head fall forward with a moan. The hand that isn’t against the fridge balls the fabric of his shirt against his chest and slowly pulls it up until his torso is exposed to you.
“Oh, fuck.” Your eyes snap shut once you feel him twitch inside of you. You let your hand run over his toned core, taking in every firm dip from under his fallen shirt. “Move, please. Please, Innie.”
“‘M gonna cum if I move.” His voice is strained as he rummages for any last bit of self control but he’s lost it all. He pulls back slowly, swirling his hips to hit every spot that you could imagine and more. Your pussy clenches around him as he sinks back in and he nearly busts at the feeling.
“I can feel you in my fucking stomach.” That’s all that you had to say to break him. That’s all that you had to say to have him pushing deeper into you then pulling back with every intention of ruining you. The only sound that you can hear is skin against skin decorated by your harmonizing moans.
His eyes are shut tight as he moves, he’s biting his tongue, trying his best not to whine and moan like he does into his hand while watching your videos. You on the other hand are loud. You’re so fucked out and dazed that you can barely remember where you are. You couldn’t answer the first question asked to you even if you tried, the only thing that you can think of right now is Jeongin. Everything is him. Him, him, him.
“Innie ‘m gonna cum, you’re gonna make me. Gonna make me cum, fuck fuck fuck.” You scratch into his abs, leaving pretty red marks for him to remember this moment. Your head falls back as you float in the feeling of being dumb with pleasure. His hips slam into you at their own accord and you just take it. You let him fuck you just how he wants, just how you need it.
“Cum, please cum. You feel too good. sweetie. Gonna make me cum.” His thrusts become more frantic, his movements more erratic. Your body is trembling and your mind is blank. A familiar fuzziness takes over your vision as you lose control, you welcome it. You savor it and quietly beg for more. “Cum on my cock, noona.”
He’s begging and you’re complying. Your vision blurs with a hazy white, your breathing hitches, and your body trembles with pleasure. You’re more than positive that your damn near screaming his name as he fucks you through what might be the most intense orgasm of your life. “That’s it, Thank you for your cum. Thank you.”
His fingers dig into your thighs as his thrusts become unpredictable. He can’t take much more and he knows it. As much as he wanted to savor you he just can’t help but to get lost in the way you feel. He can swear that you were made for him. “Oh fuck, oh, fuck, I’m cumming.” With one final thrust he’s pulling out and milking his cock of thick ropes of white that settle on your inner thigh and drips down to frame your glistening cunt.
He slumps forward, forehead resting against yours as you both pant hot and heavy satisfaction into the air. The silence is loud, almost louder than your pounding heart and racing thoughts as your eyes flutter open to meet Jeongin’s.
You stare at each other, it’s soft and almost comfortable but there’s still this looming uneasiness in your chest that makes you feel like you made a big mistake. It makes you feel like you just lost something. “Here.” He speaks first, pulling back from you to reach for the water bottle that he had earlier.
“Drink this, please.” He’s gentle as he opens the bottle and raises it to your lips. He tips your head back with a bent finger and turns the bottle up for you. “Are you okay?”
You swallow hard, panting for another second before you try nodding your head but you don’t know what to tell him. “Hey.” He grabs your attention, pulling you out of your thoughts for a second and calming you with his touch. “Everything’s alright. We didn’t ruin anything.”
He smiles softly, pressing a soft kiss to your lips that you can’t help but melt into. Maybe he’s right. Maybe you’re just nervous to confront all of this, maybe you’re just scared to admit to yourself that you want him. You want him so badly and so much more.
He pulls back and you sigh, nodding your head with a whisper. “I’m okay.”
“Let me clean you up and we can talk?” He starts fixing himself up and you can’t help but to snort a laugh. “I feel like we did this in reverse order.”
He smiles as he moves over to the sink. “Yeah, maybe.” The two of you laugh softly as he wets a couple of paper towels. It’s quiet again. It's comfortable. Everything will be alright.
“Your bedroom is literally right down the hall, you couldn’t fuck there?” Seungmin yells to the two of you and you freeze, Holy fuckaroni, you forgot that they were here.
“You never even brought me my drink!” Jisung follows and Jeongin rolls his eyes and comes back over to you with the paper towels. Felix yells right after Jisung and you can’t help but to break out into laughter with Jeongin as he cleans you up.
“Are you two not confused that they just fucked? Is it just me?.”
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toxic!rafe will blow your phone up the second you post something on instagram that he’s ‘iffy’ about.
you posted a photo dump which consisted of some random photos of the beach, some of your friends, one of you and rafe of course, but the one that had rafe seeing red was the last slide, which was you in a bikini. he texted you several times at first, and while you were literally typing your response, he called you. your fingers were typing so fast to respond to him that you accidentally declined the call, and he did not like that. you immediately went to call him back, but another text from rafe rolled in, saying ‘fuck you don’t talk to me we’re done’ you sighed loudly, knowing damn well he was talking out of his ass right now, so you sat back and waited for the inevitable next string of texts to roll in. which they did, only seconds later.
rafe <3: do you get off on making me mad or something
rafe <3: like i’m racking my brain trying to understand why you do the things you do and that’s all i can come up with
rafe <3: and i see at least 4 guys have already liked your post like that’s crazy to me?? thought i told you to block all the guys that followed you?? of course you didn’t
rafe <3: also who even took that pic of you??? bc i know damn well it wasn’t me so who the fuck you posing for with your fucking ass and tits out? WHAT THE FUCK
rafe <3: DO NOT PUT YOUR SHIT ON DO NOT DISTURB answer me rn.
rafe <3: nah it’s cool actually i’m gonna go hit up my other gfs so you have a good night.
you rolled your eyes at that last text, deciding to fully turn your phone off. you knew he would likely try to text or call you again very soon but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. this wasn’t your first rodeo, you knew nothing you could say to him right now would calm him down, so letting him freak out on his own was the best method to his madness.
three hours had passed since you turned your phone off. you had caught up on some reading and turned on your current favorite show, but found yourself interrupted by a knock at your front door. you expected it to be rafe, but instead it was a large bouquet of your favorite flowers and a gift bag. you glanced around to see if rafe was lurking around, but saw nothing. when he freaked out over text and was able to reread his actions, he usually waited a bit longer to show his face as opposed to a verbal argument.
you brought the flowers inside and set them on the counter before grabbing the card attached to the side of the bouquet.
sorry we argued. you are so beautiful and i love you so much. got you a little gift and sent you some money for food and i set your appointment with your nail girl for tomorrow at 10. love you forever baby -rafe
you couldn’t help but smile just a little. the flowers were beautiful and the note was pretty sweet, so you chose to ignore the part where he said ‘we argued.’ you didn’t get a word in, but you let it slide. especially after you opened the gift bag to see the new dior bag you had been wanting.
you hurried to turn on your phone, immediately seeing a $500 apple payment from rafe as well as a new text from a few minutes ago.
rafe <3: hope you like the flowers and bag baby. love you! :)
you: i love them. thanks rafe, love you too
rafe <3: good to hear. lmk what you end up getting for dinner and i’ll pick you up tomorrow to take you to your nail apt. can’t wait to see you baby
you would order yourself dinner that was obviously way less than $500, but you would send rafe a picture and thank him again. you’d facetime him before bed and conversation flowed like nothing had even happened just hours before. he’d ask you what color nails you were getting, tell you funny stories about the old men at the country club and excitedly plan what you two were going to do the next day. the cycle seemed like it would never end, but you often forgot about the bad when he was talking so sweetly to you and all you could think about was how excited you were to see him tomorrow.
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