#show them and never even NAME them.
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ok tommy “family is forever” angelo— what’s your daughter’s name and when was your son born? 🤨 🎤
#not to once again get on my soapbox but WHY did they have tommy get married and have kids and then have his family be the driving force#behind why he turned on the don and then just. never fully#show them and never even NAME them.#not to mention their ages and appearances and story lines don’t even make any sense#what was the reason…….. hangar 13 explain yourself right now 🔫#post: personal#tommy angelo#mde#mafia definitive edition
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
#note: i'm aware this song is about so much more than the fictional ghost story. just really enjoying that aspect of it rn#very nearly didn't do this series because some people are a bit silly about fans who heard moac as the first song. i'm owning it sdkjcksh#it wasn't the song that made me a fan as i will show in the next post but moac slaps so hard and#if you only like moac and nothing else you're still a ghestie to me <3#not my fault i was on instagram in autumn of 2022#i was going through some stuff then and listening to clips of this pretty song on random videos was something i enjoyed#didn't know the name of it or who sung it but kept hearing it at 4am when i couldn't sleep and everything was falling apart around me#when all i could do was try to escape it until the morning#i feel a bit stupid saying this but when i listen to it now and remember hearing it back then#it's like ghost was there for me even when i didn't know it#waiting for me to find them and everything their music would teach me#until the time was right#ghost31#papa emeritus iv#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#mary on a cross#user copia edits#user copia all tag#wait for the next tags i'm also tagging:#rite here rite now spoilers#i'm emotional about their messed up little family finding each other right at the very end. they never let each other go#flashing gif#<- ig
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in shock hearing people say that babel only takes a turn and becomes heart-wrenching at the end because that experience is so incomprehensible to my chinese diaspora ass that felt like their heart was being torn from their chest in the very first chapter likeeeee babel is underscored by such immense amounts of tragedy and loss and horror around colonialism and imperialism from the very beginning it's so crazy that white people can just read the first half of babel and not feel like every bone in their body was being dissolved in acid by the centuries of unspoken grief written in robin's experience SORRYYYYYYYY. average poc reading babel vs average white person reading babel truly LMFAOOOO
#sam speaks#this is incomprehensible but do you understand me it's like. babel is about so so much fucking loss#a part of robin literally died when lovell found him and that is why we never find out his chinese name#even the cohort's relationships dont escape this like the empire literally brought them together to destroy each other.#this is what ramy tells robin on the bridge. they're turning my country into a drug factory to kill yours.#we have been thrust together by empire to kill each other and our countries. do you see it now do you see me?#ITS A FUCKING TRAGEDYYYYYY AND IMO IT RLY DOES MAKE IT CLEAR FROM THE BEGINNING#seriously though like. goes to show how people's personal experiences really do shape their interpretations of media#babel
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It's always funny to me when in an lu fic the chain is offered bananas and don't accept them. Like, you're offering these high energy adventures free food?? Fruit they'll have never even heard of before??? A ridiculously expensive imported good at best?? AND it boosts your attack?
Not ONE of these idiots would ever turn down something new and interesting to eat at least once. They'd be all over those bananas and immediately get dubbed yiga and I'm honestly surprised no one has used it in a fic yet 🤭
#I know it's for plot reasons but it really shows the author's hand lol. 'just a quick bit of standard suspicion now move along we have more#Interesting things to do'#Again I get it it's always funny to see them fail the vibe check and get plied with a random fruit#There could be a fake out where they ask for the bananas and while everyone's panicking they go 'I've never had one before I'd love to try'#Or someone brings up kohga and they're like who???#But you could make a whole fic out of the chain getting mistaken for yiga and getting chased out of everywhere that's heard the news#And them travelling around trying to clear their name when they don't even know what happened.#Heck maybe they figure it out when the yiga mistake then in disguise too XD!#Also featuring as many Wild assassination attempts as you want. Like he's hunting them down but he travels faster than news#Spreads so he's rarely on time and can't set traps#And the 8 of them keep fending him off but he's really got the upper hand and DEEPLY unhappy#I'm just saying it'd make for some EXCELLENT scenes and I know y'all in the LU fandom like your misunderstandings#The chain strolling along in faron like yum these are delicious we gotta stock up while we're here#And in the tree above them wilds eye's twitching#loz#legend of zelda#linked universe#lu wild#lu chain#loz fic#fic ideas#fic prompt#loz link#loz lu#yiga clan
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
"It ain't that complicated!"
How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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stan: how can you be polyamorous and aroace, or…whatever mabel called it?
ford: in my case, i have my family and i have my platonic polycule. i would prefer to never have to interact with anyone outside these two groups
stan: what about soos and wendy? they’re not in either of those groups
ford: first of all, i am soos’ uncle, second of all, are you saying you don’t believe i would both die and kill for wendy?
stan: you’ve got a weird way of defining family, six
ford: it’s my favorite way
#it’s the last day of june and i have not been queering it up nearly enough with these text posts#needed to let myself be at least a indulgent. anyway#gravity falls#ford pines#stan pines#(stan: wait who’s the extra person in your polycule#ford: oh you wouldn’t know it it goes to another dimension)#in all seriousness though#i have not stopped thinking about ford being at least friends with the hidebehind since that au I created#so the hidebehind is definitely in on the polycule. it goes fiddleford and ford + ford and hidebehind#maybe the moth man gets thrown in too. i don’t know maybe it likes being mercilessly hunted down#who am i to assume#if the moth man was there too maybe…#ford and moth man + moth man and fiddleford + fiddleford and ford + ford and hidebehind?#i like to go with the idea that moth man is more of a warning before disasters rather than bringing them#(and we don’t even know if the gravity falls moth man is the same as virginia’s moth man)#so i think fiddleford would like him. they share superstitions and moth man is like a comfort cat#is moth man showing signs that something bad is about to happen? if no then you have physical living evidence that nothing bad is happening#if yes. fucking panic.#if they ever hit a yes the polycule may be in slight trouble of losing moth man as a member#i personally never got on board with the ford x moth man train so i’m going to keep my headcanon platonic polycule to#fiddauthor + hideford#created a new ship name what the fuck is wrong with me (lighthearted). happy pride month 🦕🏳️⚧️🦑🏳️🌈
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A little costume with eyebrow whiskers again.. making their return lol..
#fantasy costume#fantasy fashion#fantasy aesthetic#No idea what to tag this generally or which tags are even used on tumblr lol... I think thats the thing I'm worst at with social media#is just knowing how to understand and use tags. I think I take them too literally or something or have trouble categorizing#Since I go to the tag and check it and it's too scattered of a group of things then I'm not sure whether something fits there#or not since it's like 'eh.. well.. there are also a lot of things in there that ARENt like what i'm posting''#I have like the opposite problem of those spam blogs that will tag their posts with 800 barely related things. like a picture of a random#girl in a dress and it's tagged 'the simpsons. macklemore. downton abbey. fortnite. girly things. gothic horror. vibes. brad pitt. golf.''#or whatever lol.. where I will feel like if less than 85% of the tag is exactly completely related to what im posting then its like 'eh...#maybe I shouldnt post there...who knows what its even for.. . what if theres some tv show named 'fantasy costume' which im unaware of#and people will assume i'm mocking the show' or some weird thing like that. Anyway lol#Another one I almost didn't post since I've just hated all my costumes recently.. I'm not sure why.. maybe my camera is getting old??#Because they look fine in person - it's more specifically that I dont like the PICTURES of them for the past 2-3 yrs or so. like i know#it's not my facial features it's more like... the lighting or something?? I just always feel so much like it looks nothing like how it#did in the mirror in real life. Like the colors will be off or it will be too bright or weirdly shadowed or something. maybe one day I#accidentally changed a setting on my camera and never changed it back. But it used to be a lot easier to find images I was okay with. -_-#I did just really want to do the eyebrow whiskers again though since I've always found them fun. And also to use the star things as part of#mouth jewelry. They're actually just star shaped paperclips that I kind of bent to be larger. Then the green shawl thing is a pillowcase#Looking back on it I would've liked to do horns or something since the top of the head is a bit bare lol#self
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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Funniest thing about the original Broadway version of M&R (the one that Misto sings with the trash puppets) is how Tugger introduces him so dramatically in the beginning. Bc when it comes to bringing Deut back during Misto's number, that's obviously important and Tugger would obviously be invested in doing whatever's necessary to save him (including hyping Misto up), but M&R is just a silly little song.
Like, Misto comes on stage with his two little puppets made of garbage and a catchy lil ditty about them doing shenanigans and Tugger has to cut in front of him and basically go 'MISTO IS PERFORMING SO EVERYBODY SIT DOWN AND START FUCKING CLAPPING OR ILL BLOW THIS WHOLE PLACE UP'
#cats fan on main#literally its the only time in the show where its stated who is singing (when the song isnt about them)#jelly is never named munk is never named demeter is never named#tugger isnt named in old deut or mistofelees jenny isnt named in bustopher#the only cats who are named are the ones who the song is about! except here!#& its only because tugger jumps into the song‚ gives misto credit‚ and then immediately dips again#and notably (at least in most productions) hes not even on stage during bustopher and only comes back on during old deut#my man is literally on break during this part of the show and still butts in to introduce misto
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desperately need people to understand that alicent is a victim but she’s also an abuser and a perpetrator
that she actively makes choices to harm other women because of jealousy and envy and the greed deep in her bones because submitting to suffering didn’t get her what those women fight to grasp for themselves.
she is absolutely a victim, in show.
that doesn’t change that she abused rhaenyra and her children, her own son, most likely helaena given how she flinches every time her mother touches her, and is actively weaponizing the patriarchy of westeros against other women- rhaenyra primarily, but also mysaria and dyana.
she isn’t the moral, righteous force of good that even she thinks she is, she’s a wounded woman directing all of the rot, pain, and fury inside her at the wrong people and forces.
#anti team green stans#anti team green#anti alicent hightower stans#i don’t wanna say it’s anti alicent bc honestly it’s more ‘accept her for who she is bc she’s so much more complex and interesting when you#but i made this bc someone genuinely tried to say that the reason people hate her is that they don’t see her as a victim#most rational people know show!alicent is a victim#it’s the point that’s she’s an abuser as well#that makes them dislike her#that she’s a hypocrite and a traitor#i don’t even like young alicent bc i don’t at all think she was a good friend to rhaenyra#‘it’s not your place to question the plots of lords and men’ to the named heir#dismisses rhaenyra’s hopes and idealism entirely out of hand#is baffled that rhaenyra is more worried for her fathers happiness and mother’s wellbeing than her position#she knew as early as ep 3 that otto was conspiring against rhaenyra and never told anyone#condemns ‘targaryen customs’ only to wed her daughter to her son even younger than she was when otto dangled her before viserys#acts entitled to rhaenyras secrets whilst condemning and judgemental even though she did not give rhaenyra that same courtesy#made no attempt at apology for the insensitive comment of aegon’s birth#though rhaenyra DID try to apologize for the ‘imprisoned in a castle’ line and tried to comfort her#uses her power as queen to push past the space rhaenyra is trying to create because she feels heartbroken and betrayed#rhaenyra took part in alicent’s culture with prayer at alicent’s urging because she cared about alicent and alicent was trying to help her#alicent is never once shown to return that favor instead condemning it for ‘queerness’ and growing to later#erase and remove all targaryen and valyrian heraldry from the red keep to replace with her own#like alicent is a victim and i DO have empathy for her. but i don’t like her and never will#especially not after the way her stans behave#she deserved better than otto’s machinations and viserys’…. viserysness#but that can also be true whilst i condemn her actions and behaviors
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yay! I drew these quite literally three years ago. dragonheart!milo and raihan! a knight on a doomed dragon hunt being lifted out of his station by a small village medicine man. together they become magic lawyers and overthrow the government
the main details in these do survive into the iterations I’ve drawn (instead of these actual designs I spent time to make el oh el): the “leaf” diamond quilt/gambeson and the plaited coattail for milo, the “atypical” weapons, long coat, and large number of scattered fake gold trims and accessories for raihan. I think I lost raihan the hat and added a cape for milo further down the line because like this their general silhouettes are too similar for my liking lol
#pokemon#swsh#applinshipping#dragonheart AU#gym leader raihan#gym leader milo#leon is the puppet king in this one (I never made a design for him lol. lmao) (its not about him!!!!) (it is just a tiny bit#sonia actually disappeared out to sea like just the year before raihan got sent off too. and the shows up where raihan and milo are later on#as usual the everything between those three are messy in a way that makes every one of them embarrassed to bring it up lmao#if u remember one of the october pieces I did last year. the applinshipping one. yeap thats from this AU too#lmao. also remembering the swordsman AU. in every AU where I bring up a king you can TELL I cant WAIT to get rid of that guy#(its usually leon)#anyways it's not about him this is about raihan and milo!!! iirc everyone in the village knows milo is Something. bc he has literally not#aged at all for four generations#he's like doing his therapy away from the dragon hierarchy out here and raihan crash lands nearby#laughs this is so hallmark movie romance I just realized. except the city girl is trying to#extract her family from the palace before stealing the declaration of independence#oh yeah the AU is named that Specifically because the 'artifact' the whole plot runs around is supposedly a 'calcified' heart of a dragon#and the magic lawyer part is so raihan will seize the right to the throne by haha. winning a living dragon's heart instead#I'm actually surprised I remember this much abt this AU lmao it's literally been three years! I don't even remember what Im#supposed to do tomorrow#it's gettign a USB stick isnt it. Im doin a canadian horror triple feature with the senpai#I gotta remember that. well I remember This so. maybe there's a chance#man there are actually a number of applinshipping things I wanna draw... theyre my Fuckin BoyS#well! there's this at least. have a good night lads! I'll have cake soon#it's time to put cinnamon in things.
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umm rate the birthday invitation i guess???? my mom really wanted me to draw something, so i just.... did this lol
#censored for obvious reasons#y'all don't get to know my real name or where i live#even though it's really easy to guess-#but yeah#my mom was weirdly insistent that i draw something#i don't really show anyone irl my art so uh#that's probably why#also absolutely HATE how knuckles looks#i never draw him because i struggle with his forehead </3#had to make shadow's inner ears (?) light bc i am NOT telling my family abt my headcanons#oh yeah i don't show anyone my stuff bc so much of it is just straight up shipping#and sonic fanart is just Inherently Cringe to me#i feel like if i showed someone in real life what i draw they would just go “oh..............”#and AUGH that feels awful#bc sometimes something i like is mentioned#so i immediately start talking about it#and i can feel the “how do i get out of this conversation” vibes coming off them#wait how did i get to this#this post is abt my birthday party wtf#yapped so much to myself i had a whole topic change#ummmmm anyways#knuckles the echidna#tails the fox#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fandom#my birthday#sonic movie 3#i guess??#ravioliart
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Darla/Angelus is also great because the show has a competing designated OTP and they exist to serve as contrast and hateful competition to THE ship. they are soulless monsters even by the standards of soulless monsters, they literally make the other soulless monsters go "yikes... your relationship seems not good maybe." but they love each other so fucking much. the writers can't help it. they are constantly trying to find their way back to each other. the way she hits him over a head with a shovel and leaves him to an angry mob while he tries to say he doesn't mind dying if it's with her AND the way they coo about it to each other afterwards. the way she takes him back against her better judgement because she missed him so so much but then kicks him out again later because he still can't be who she needs him to be. that's just how they say i love you.
#press says btvs#the thing i appreciate about buffy/angel the shows and the ship#is that it really does set up a designated otp. and like i would argue that for a time at least it succeeds!! who isn't#being sent to hell right alongside angel at the end of season two?#but everyone is having too much fun even in early seasons to just pick a ship and stick to it. they really say you're going to love so many#people in so many ways. sometimes you'll be in denial about it or the way you loved them will feel gross or demeaning or small in hindsight#but like. you're gonna love a lot of people. you're going to have a community. you will also have sex with a lot of people#probably.#the overlap between these two categories will be a source of much conversation on the internet#incidentally thank u to the comic strip goofus and gallant for perfectly exemplifying a particular kind of morality play and having a fun#little name. your contributions to online discourse should never be discounted#da is not the goofus to ba's gallant but you kind of expect it to be going in#anyway i'm so glad they decided to expand their family/polycule#even if the mixed metaphors got my tumblr temporarily suspended like i cannot stress how much they mixed those metaphors IN THE TEXT#I DIDN'T DO THAT. drusilla did that. Darla also did that a little
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Sense Ubisoft decided to give us jack shit on Desmond's mother I wanted to do my own little head-canon of her.
Desmond's mother is a cold, no-nonsense woman. A prodigy in her own right who was probably one of the options for the next mentor, but preferred field work. Her acts of love are through services and what is a better service to those she loves then ridding the world of templars. The longest she probably went without being out in the field was when Desmond was born and it isn't till he is 5 or 6 that she goes back out. Now she is working twice as hard. Not just for her fellow assassins, but now she has a son. A son who will be forced to do this same exact thing if she doesn't do something.
So she is around less and less. One day here, two days there. And maybe she thinks she is doing her family a favor. She deludes herself into thinking this will push Bill and Desmond closer together. Desmond will love Bill more because he is there and she is not. But it has the opposite effect. As he gets older Desmond starts to resent Bill. He can never be good enough. Never strong enough or fast enough. He is subjected to a constant stream of belittlement from his father. Bill works all the time and Desmond hates that he is forced to have dinners at an empty table all alone while Bill is in his office. So close but still too far.
But his mother? Oh his mother is his hero because all this time he has been building in his head the idea of what his mother is. An ideal mother. "Yeah she isn't here cause she is keeping us safe. Everyone says how great she is. The best of the best." He tells himself. Then as he gets older he starts to compare Bill to this idea of his mother. "If mom was here she'd be able to explain this better to me. She is really smart.", "When mom gets back I'm sure she can help me with this move. She's the best.", "Once mom gets here we can have dinner like a family, maybe we can cook together." on and on.
Finally, at 16, his mother is home for the first time for a longer than a day. Two whole weeks in fact. And he is so excited only for that reunion to be awkward and kind of cold. He doesn't get those meals together like he hoped. Training with her is worse than his father. With Bill he had learned when the man is actually paying attention and where, which allowed Desmond to slack in other areas, but with his mother she is always watching. She nitpicks every movement and doesn't seem to understand why he can't get something on the first try. She pushes Desmond well past exhaustion and makes him train even past that. Desmond's carefully crafted view of his mother is destroyed in just a few days leaving him empty and convinced that neither of his parents actually love him.
From Desmond's mother's point of view the reunion is "cold" because she doesn't know what to say to her son. She has been gone for so much of his life and the only things she really knows about him are through Bill. She knows he has potential, but he is "disinterested" and "never takes anything seriously" so in training she pushes him. She has been a field agent this whole time. She knows that a single misstep can mean death and Desmond is already 16. In a few more years they will send him on his first mission and she will be damned if she lets him die. Those missed meals together? She is with Bill in his office helping with his work and on occasion they will sit there with a bottle of scotch between them, talking about life before. Before he had to be mentor, when they had at least a little time to themselves. A little time for each other. She doesn't see what she is doing to Desmond.
When it's time for her to leave again she doesn't question Desmond's lack of smile or how he says he is going to go "train", she only thinks 'Good. He is going to start taking things more seriously.' She doesn't think anything is wrong when she gets off the plane and she drives to the safe-house. She doesn't know that Desmond has snuck out. Ran away from the home he believes never even cared about him. Nothing is wrong until Bill calls her and says the three words the shatters her world.
"Desmond is gone."
#assassin's creed#desmond miles#william miles#Desmond miles' mother#written post#can you tell I don't write often? <:D#headcanon#I think both her and Bill tried to show their love through preparing desmond#it just horrible backfired on them#Being a prodigy she never learned how to teach other “regular” people#the fact they never even gave her a name#damn it ubisoft#I want to learn to write so I can feed my own fanfic needs
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You know, watching the anime made me realize something, so I went looking.
We (manga readers, anime-onlies beware spoilers later on) already know Senshi’s tragic backstory and that the reason why he stays in the dungeon is to take care of it.
Early on in the manga, Senshi behaved with a complete disregard to Chilchuck’s orders to keep them safe. It’s possible Senshi behaved this way because he didn’t respect Chilchuck’s skills, or he thought that none of the traps would be able to harm him (due to being a dwarf). When he offered up his life to the orcs (before his vegetables, even), maybe he was simply trusting that Zon wasn’t actually going to kill them (despite them brutally murdering an entire pub in front of their eyes). But what if he simply…doesn’t care whether he lives or dies?
Senshi shows no interest in returning to society, preferring to keep to himself. He lives only for tending to the dungeon and cooking his next meal. He behaves recklessly with his own safety, and he hasn’t moved on from the trauma he experienced almost eighty years prior. He also believes that resurrection is unnatural, and accepts his own death with relative ease.
I think his survivor’s guilt left him passively suicidal, just waiting for his inevitable death to come to him, and holds fiercely onto Gillin’s final wishes that Senshi lives on as a reason to not seek it out.
#Dungeon meshi#senshi of izganda#I’ve been in this fandom on tumblr for a year but even with all the Griffin Soup posts I’ve seen#I’ve never seen anyone say Senshi might be depressed#Anyway while watching the anime I was kind of shocked with how much disregard Senshi showed for his own life.#And with him basically offering up Laios’ party’s lives as well to the orcs.#I mean I ASSUME it’s because he trusted that Zon wouldn’t kill them or thought making bread would#endear them enough to get them out of that situation but??#Op#There’s just a lot about senshi that ties to his trauma. A lot. Anne’s name. His desire to properly feed future generations.#He wears Gillin’s helmet constantly including putting a sunhat OVER the helmet while gardening.#dm meta#dm senshi
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he's such a fuckin nerd
#qkdraws#id in alt#best thing abt drawing characters with canonically terrible fashion senses#is that i (bad at fashion) can draw him in Whatever I Want#bc the result will either be comments like ''oh my god look at that fit that's so ugly and on brand /pos''#OR ''YO TERU'S WEARING SMTH GOOD FOR ONCE THANK GOD''#i always win. there is no losing here#that fit in the corner ? idk if it's good. i have no fuckin clue#maybe it's bad. maybe it's rly cute. i don't fucking know#and i never will. and neither will teru#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 teruki#teruki hanazawa#typoed his name yesterday as ''teruki bananzawa''#so . what with that what u will#im kind of obsessed w him a lil bit#u know it's a good show when u can't even pick a fav character bc u love them all sm#is it reigen is it mob is it ritsu is it teru who knows#one thing i do regret with my fic is that i wish i had included more teru#he needed more screen time .... i robbed him
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