#show brother these he liked leman one the most
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Primarchs but as random images I found on Pinterest the final part
finally, the other ones If I was doing other characters outside of the primarchs this would be Big E and this for Malcaldor
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
thank you for enjoying these love you all who gave you notes and for the ones adding tags they were funny and I loved reading them.
maybe I'll draw more random images as Warhammer characters but probably not going to it as parts. Just like one-offs.
<3
#show brother these he liked leman one the most#These were siting their forget to post them because i got rouge trader on steam and kind of put 80 hours into it and forget about this#sorry horus fans he probably the uglies one will one day draw him right#back to drawing genshin *cries*#shitpost#john warhammer#alpharius omegon#horus lupercal#mortarion#sanguinius#lorgar aurelian
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How would each primemarch be if their wife is pregnant with their child?
No real warnings for this one other than pregnancy Lion: He's as cool as ever on the outside but he's secretly a mess on the inside. The lion is not the kind to be very open with his emotions so to some (Of the few who actually know) it might seem he has no feelings at all about his wife carrying his progeny. However those who know him better notice how close he keeps you from the start. He's not going to allow anything to happen to his beautiful lioness. 2: Went out for milk and didn't come back. Fulgrim: "Oh have you heard? My darling wife is with child." This man could not be anymore different, he makes sure everyone knows and is appropriately excited. After all how could they not be? He was going to have a child that was truly his own. He parades you about in clothes that show your progressive belly and he makes a show of rubbing it in. Not even his most beloved brother Ferrus is spared. Well to be fair Ferrus is especially the target of the pheonicians excitement.
Perturabo: He is quietly delighted his giant hands have never been so gentle. His honor guard becomes yours for the whole duration, not that they weren't ordered to keep you safe as well, but now they are especially vigilant. He doesn't make a fuss about it outwardly but the nursery soon fills with tiny marvels of engineering for your future child.
Jaghatai: He's also quiet about it, but he's always been a bit aloof about his brother. But in private he is incredibly happy, practically worshiping your body. Making sure you only have the best food. He's a very dedicated husband and soon to be father.
Leman: Is boastful about it. But also very vigilant. He's not letting you out of his sight so long as you've got his pup in your womb. He keeps you warm on cold nights as he refuses to let his child be born anywhere but on Fenris so you do have to suffer the biting cold. Don't worry though, you'll have more furs than you can shake a stick at to keep you comfortable.
Rogal:
No one even knew you were pregnant until the kid came. Though their were signs, kinda, like every place you stepped foot in having even more recent additions to the defenses. His best sons being put on guard duty. A rare quiet smile on his contemplative face and stern face. His apothecaries are the only ones not completely shocked.
Curze:
Oh boy if he was a mess before?... Hes actually quite mellow for most of the pregnancy, of course that is once he's established paternity. It's not that he doubts you, it's that there are other men on his ship and he can't trust them. He holds you even closer now at night. Whispering feverish, yet loving inanities to you. His hard bitter laugh has a softer edge to it now. Could it be that he might finally have two good things in his life to bring his mind out of the darkness?
Sanguinius: I'm saying it now, he started trying early, as soon as the ring was on your finger. Sanguinius loves his sons and that love is only amplifies for the child growing in your womb. But along with that love is a terrible anxiety, what if the child is touched by his thirst, doomed to live with the curse as he and his other children are? He'll love them all the same absolutely nothing will change that. And he somehow loves you even more for this gift of life you are creating with him.
Ferrus: His massive metal hands hold you so gently when you give him the news. He has so much to do, and so much to be. Now he must also be a real father, not only to his astartes, but to a small bundle of life that will share half of his dna. Should he tell anyone? Fulgrim? His father? Ferrus feels very real uncertainty about it. He will tell no one, he decides and puts an even more robust guard around you at all times unless you are with him, in his arms. It becomes the safest place in universe just for you.
11: Went out for smokes and didn't come back.
Angron: How did this even happen? Most people assumed your marriage to this giant butcher was all for show. But no, he is your husband and despite his moments of temporary insanity at the clawing of nails in his brain, he managed to do it. He won't touch you unfortunately. Despite his general disposition about things he does not hate you, and his fear of the nails keeps his hands at bay. No matter how much you plead. He will not risk the life of his child. In his moments of clarity you hold his hand, and kiss it, he tells you he loves you. You alone in the universe as he twitches at the biting of the nails. Maybe he will go back to perturabo and finally allow his brother to aid him. For your sake and for your child.
Roboute: Also quite hush hush about the pregnancy, he journals the whole experience, and builds the nursery with his own hands, putting his own little touches on the place. His hearts swell with delight every time he thinks about it. He holds you in his arms as he picks the handcrafted animals that will go into the rooms. He thanks you softly for allowing him to have this experience. He also has the whole timeline planned out for the pregnancy, you let him have it despite knowing that these things hardly ever go exactly according to plan.
Mortarion: Is this even allowed? Is what he keeps thinking to himself, but he is happy. Fearful as well as you progress, what if he ends up being like the awful monster that raised him? Or even like his own father. He vows to not be those men, he promises to you over and over that he will be the best father. On his knees, he swears to you. He loves you so much and his love your child as well.
Magnus: As soon as you tell him that you're with child he begins divining. Looking into the potential futures to ensure his child's safety. He messages you with his collection of scented oils as he tells you of the endless futures he's seen. He loves to touch you, to feel the aura of his little one growing inside you. He'll know them better than even you by the time they're born. His sons are just as joyful about all this, but do come up with some wild concerns that you never even considered. Magnus puts all theirs worries and yours to rest, telling you hes seen what may happen and will not allow any negatives to come to pass. He is arrogant, for sure, but it does make your fears less.
Horus: He couldn't have kept it under wraps even if he tried. His sons soon learn from the mournival and now every lunar wolf is on high alert to keep you safe. Even Ezekiel, those that's on orders from his primarch. Horus spends as much time as he is able with you. He's glad to be a father, a true father, fulfilling his unspoken desires at long last. He treats you like a queen, and you are never far from his side. As he speaks soft words of love to you and kisses your hands and cheeks.
Lorgar: Lorgar looks at you as if you hung the stars yourself when you tell him. He dedicates himself to you throughout the whole process, at you beck and call the whole time. He acquires for you the most luxurious things he can to pamper you. Most of your evenings are spent with him massaging you with lotions or oils as her tells you tales from his compliances. He adores you so much. Vulkan: He is likely the most outwardly expressive with his delight. Not boasting or bragging but delightedly sharing the good news with his family. It's a nice feeling, to be so openly praised by a primarch. He, like many of this other builder brothers makes toys for his soon to arrive child. He's attentive, maybe even a bit smothering. But it's all to ensure that you are happy and well. His sons are also over the moon at the news, there much beloved legion mother carrying their brother or sister. You will certainly be very safe and loved, that's for sure.
Corvus: He might tell a few of his brothers and his father, but other than that he keeps it a rather private affair. He will of course keep you close and when he is unable will have a silent guard keeping an eye on your every move to ensure your safety. At night when he holds you, he will sing you to sleep with his soft mellow voice. His dark eyes scanning the shadows for any movement. He will keep you and his little chick safe in his nest. Alpharius/Omegon: The question is who's the father? True they are twins of a sort, technically two halves of what would have been one being. But still. Either way, no one but the three of you will even know until the baby comes and even then it's largely going to be a rumor. You are well cared for as you always are, but the two fathers will ensure that regardless, nothing happens and no one knows.
#warhammer 40k#my writing#primarch x reader#warhammer 40k x reader#primarchs#lion el'jonson#lion el'jonson x reader#fulgrim#fulgrim x reader#perturabo#perturabo x reader#leman russ#leman russ x reader#jaghatai khan#jaghatai khan x reader#Rogal Dorn#rogal dorn x reader#Konrad Curze#konrad curze x reader#Sanguinius#sanguinius x reader#ferrus manus#Ferrus manus x reader#angron#Angron x reader#magnus the red#magnus the red x reader#Horus Lupercal#horus lupercal x reader#lorgar aurelian
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Maybe you celebrate Easter. Maybe you celebrate Trans Day of Visibility. Maybe you celebrate both, or neither. I am here to make those holidays infinitely worse or better, depending on how you look at this post. Special thanks to @squishyowl for giving me the parameters to calculate their (hard) schmeat sizes.
Without further adieu, Primarch cock descriptions. and also kind of how they fugg
LION EL'JONSON- 11 inches, 27 cm. Untrimmed and uncut. He shows a godly amount of restraint to you. Behind closed doors, he's much softer than he lets on. As far as girth goes, he's in the middle of the road... for a Primarch. He may not be the most experienced of his brothers, but he's going to do a thorough job anyways.
???- Dick fell off.
FULGRIM- 10 inches, 25 cm. Long and slender. You may expect a piercing, but he does not want to mar his natural appearance (at least before the Heresy.) Shaves religiously. He likes when his partner can't move, when they squirm underneath him, though he'll have a hard time admitting this.
PERTURABO- 7 inches, 18 cm. The smallest cock on the list, but he more than makes up for it while he is using it. He's got a bit of girth to him, but he can still fit in your mouth. Somewhat. His hands engulf your head as he pushes you down on him. Once he's out, tell him how good he feels.
JAGHATAI KHAN- 13 inches, 33 cm. The fastest one out of the Primarchs as far as each thrust goes. It curves up when erect, not unlike a scimitar. Veiny, but not strikingly so. Even though he's exceptionally fast, he likes being ridden. Especially on his bike.
LEMAN RUSS- 14 inches, 35 cm. He's uncut and hairy down there, he's never shaved his bush. He's also girthy. But what's most remarkable about him is his knot. This makes it hard for him not to breed his partners, where applicable. He'll hold you down and lock himself in on you, holding you down on him with his massive hands.
ROGAL DORN- 10 inches, 25 cm. He's circumcised and he keeps a clean shave. He's girthy, but not unbearably so. He enjoys tying up his partner and watching them melt as he goes down on them. Ever stoic, his expression rarely changes as he plows through you. Also a fan of doing it in his office.
KONRAD CURZE- 9 inches, 23 cm. Veiny, almost paper white, and uncut. He's not a gentle lover, especially considering his size. Usually there will be blood involved, and usually it is yours. He doesn't normally just use his cock; if he can reach you, he'll be biting you. And if not, he'll draw blood anyways.
SANGUINIUS- 8 inches, 20 cm. Surprisingly girthy, with low-hanging balls. He's uncut, but his bush is usually trimmed. He doesn't just use his cock, he bites where he can and envelopes you in his wings. He's gentle... for the first five minutes. He'll leave the most marks out of any of the Primarchs, prompting you to cover up the day after.
FERRUS MANUS- 17 inches, 43 cm. Lord have mercy. He is the most well-endowed Primarch, with balls to match. He'll hold you down with his cool silver hands as he pushes himself in. He's gentle, far more than he lets on, but he is still a Primarch. He's become quite the aftercare giver.
???- Penis serious, Penis delirious. Penis in the woods, call that penis mysterious
ANGRON- 9 inches, 23 cm. The arena had not been kind, as he is scarred in several places around it. Fortunately, no blade has ever found its way there. He isn't gentle, not one bit, even if he is chained down. The Nails eat at his head, screaming for bloodshed. He thrusts faster in a vain attempt to block out the agony in his head.
ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN- 8 inches, 20 cm, and girthy. Despite his size being closer to normal for a baseline human, it's harder to fit it in due to his circumference. With some lube and determination, though, you can make it work. He likes putting it in you and watching you try to keep your composure before you inevitably slip up.
MORTARION- 11 inches, 27 cm. It's long and gaunt on him, but it's still massive in your hand. He's one of the more sensitive Primarchs, but he'd prefer if that fact were kept under wraps. Gentle touch gets him going like nothing else. And once he gets going, you'll get to bear firsthand witness to the endurance he's known for.
MAGNUS THE RED- The bastard can change his dick size on a whim. He already knows what size would make you feel best, and he can open up more than one hole at once using the Warp. He doesn't even have to touch you to open you up, turning you into an incomprehensible mess in front of him.
HORUS LUPERCAL- 12 inches, 30 cm. The most striking thing about it is the Prince Albert that adorns it, a simple iron thing with a dull shine. Even if by some miracle you're on top, he'll always be the dominant partner, and if you have the ability you are most definitely bearing his children at some point.
LORGAR AURELIAN- 11 inches, 28 cm. You weren't expecting the second shortest Primarch to pack so much, were you? Golden tattoos come close to it, but he hadn't the will to cover himself there. You'll spend a lot of time with him; he'll use his tongue for hours on end before finally gratifying himself.
VULKAN- 10 inches, 26 cm. He's warm all over, and below the belt is no exception. In the cold reaches of space, he's a great comfort. Even if he's not the biggest of the Primarchs, he likes watching you struggle on him. He's girthy, and he likes to choke you with it too. Gives the best aftercare.
CORVUS CORAX- 11 inches, 27 cm. He's long, slender, and he keeps a close shave. He's a gentle lover when you're properly going at it and not hiding your risque behavior while in public. He'll hold your hands and whisper praises into your ear, even if he has to bend himself at an uncomfortable angle.
ALPHARIUS- 8 inches, 21 cm. He's hairless, circumcised, and his balls are almost unnaturally even. You've seen many an Alpha Legion cock, and they all look similar. He likes to finish in his partner, leaving no trace that he was there except for the slightly odd hobble you have the next day.
#warhammer 40k x reader#primarch x reader#lion el'jonson#fulgrim#perturabo#jaghatai khan#leman russ#rogal dorn#konrad curze#sanguinius#ferrus manus#angron#roboute guilliman#mortarion#magnus the red#horus lupercal#lorgar aurelian#vulkan#corvus corax#alpharius#warhammer lobotomy#i take criticism in venmo and paypal. btw
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All the now children primarchs have discovered the wonders of minecraft.The Emperor being now forced to be the moderator and peacemarker after six differents fight involving buildings being destroyed , the ownerships of the wolves and the distribuation of the ore.
Okay, for context: since there's 18 of them, I think they'd have a room set up with a screen for each of them to use, and they'd play on a server together. So big E can see all their screens at once, too.
He wished Malcador had not brought the game up from the vaults.
Leman and Magnus had gotten into a screaming match over who the dog belonged to. Perturabo was raging over his base, getting blown up with TNT. He insisted it was Dorn.
Corvus was guarding the chests Vulkan used so others wouldn't steal his hard earned ore.
Fulgrim and Lorgar were trying to stop Konrad from killing any villagers he found. Lion would hunt his brothers down.
He had warned them that if this continued, he would ground them and take away the server.
He finally realized he'd have to teach them how with the final straw.
Angron came into his office, bawling. His brothers were constantly "griefing" his house and making fun of it. In a rage, he'd thrown and broken his controller. After that, he burst into tears and came running.
The emperor picked him up and headed to the game room.
Angron hadn't calmed down, "I-I-I like building wi-with dirt! I like the-the grass, and I w-w-wan-wanted to plant flo-owers on top of it! But-but they keep des-destroying it and calling it a-a-a t-toilet house!!"
He rubbed his sons back, "I won't let them do that anymore. You'll get your garden house."
When he entered the room, Roboute was yelling as Omegon lit his house on fire. Mortarion was being mobbed and killed from his spawn point over and over again by Horus and Sanguinius. Something about their cows.
"Enough," the Emperor said. "Sit down, all of you."
It grew silent, and they did so.
"I am taking away the game," he informed then.
Ferrus folded his arms and folded in on himself. Vulkan started to cry.
"Unless you can show me you can be kind and work together," he finished. "I am going to stay in here as you learn. There will be no griefing. No stealing. No killing. No, making fun of each other. You are better than this."
Shame covered their faces.
"Where is Angron's controller?"
Lorgar spoke up, "It's broken. He can use mine. I like the keyboard better."
The emperor wiped Angron's cheeks and set him down. Lorgar hugged his brother and gave him the controller.
It was dead silent as he sat down and they played.
"Corvus, come to the nether with me," Vulkan said excitedly. "You don't need to guard the chests anymore."
"But they might still come take it," Corvus said.
"I am watching," the emperor told his sons.
Lorgar asked, "Can I come?"
"Yeah!"
"I have too much stone," Fulgrim announced.
Dorn said he'd take it.
Konrad was diving into water and looking for drowned to take out.
"A wolf!" Leman yelled. "I need bones!"
"I'm coming," Mortarion said.
Angron had stopped sniffling and had a pleasant smile on his face as he collected various flowers.
"Jaghatai, where are you?" Alpharius questioned. "Are you lost?"
"Look up," The Khan replied.
Alpharius moved the camera to see his brother in the trees above him.
"Oh," he said.
"Help me get apples," Jagh requested. "There's a herd nearby."
Lion and Horus were competing on who could kill the most monsters.
Sanguinius was building rafters when he fell off and into the ravine he was next to.
He sighed as he respawned.
Roboute helped Dorn with his fortress. Ferrus was mining for Perturabo. Fulgrim was building with Redstone.
"What's this thing?" Lorgar asked.
"No, dont!" Vulkan yelled.
Lorgar had piglins on his screen and hit one. He began screaming as all the piglins began attacking him.
"They're killing me! They're killing me!" He yelled.
"Don't fight back!" Vulkan insisted. "Hit one, and they all come after you! Let yourself die, and we'll get your stuff - no, no, no, no!"
Lorgar ran and fell off the ledge unto the lava below.
"We can't get your stuff now," Corvus told him.
Lorgar was mostly in shock at what had just happened.
"Father, come see my house!" Angron called out.
The Emperor stood and came over to Angron's screen. His dirt house was built into a hill. Flowers and a few other plants covered it.
"I used bone powder to make them grow faster!" Angron explained. "Isn't it pretty?"
"It is," smiled the emperor.
#little primarchs#lion el'jonson#fulgrim#perturabo#jaghatai khan#leman russ#rogal dorn#konrad curze#sanguinius#ferrus manus#angron#roboute guilliman#Mortarion#magnus the red#horus lupercal#lorgar aurelian#vulkan#vulkan 40k#corvus corax#alpharius omegon#emperor of mankind#good dad emps#warhammer 40k#wh40k#warhammer community#warhammer#my writing#requests#warhammer30k#40k
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What kind of nicknames/titles do you think each Primarch's wife would get?
There's some that all the wives share, just adjusted to fit with their husband. Lady of [primarch's planet]. Lady of the [Legion name]. And if the primarch is one with a last name, she uses her husband's last name. (Lady Guilliman, Lady Lupercal, Lady Aurelian, etc)
But most/all of the wives would have nicknames/titles unique to them.
Magnus's wife could be called the Red Lady.
Konrad's wife could be called Lady of the Night, but that's also an euphemism for a prostitute, so maybe not. I don't think any Primarch, especially Konrad, would like someone else calling their wife a slut.
Since the Primarchs presumably didn't know about Alpharius and Omegon being twins, they probably assume Omegon is Alpharius's last name. So their shared wife would be called Lady Omegon, which would please the actual Omegon greatly. He may only be able to be with her in public as Alpharius, but she is his Lady. It's a way for both brothers to show their claim over her. She's Alpharius's wife, Lady Omegon.
If a Primarch has a title/nickname that's Lord of [X] or the [X] Lord (like Perturabo being the Lord of Iron), she could be called the Lady of [X]/the [X] Lady (Perturabo's wife being the Lady of Iron)
I added all the ones I think since i imagine that not all of them would use the same default titles. Other people feel free to add!
Lion El'Jonson:
Beginning of relationship: Woman, Lion’s woman
Farther into relationship: Lady of the Dark Angels, but it’s usually rarely
Roboute Guilliman:
Lady Guilliman, Lady of Macragge, Lady of the Ultramarines, Consort of the Lord Regent, she has a lot of titles and it bugs her greatly lol
Magnus The Red:
The Red Lady, Consort of The Crimson King
Rogal Dorn:
Lady Dorn, Lady of the Imperial Fists. Their titles are very practical and literal.
Ferrus Manus:
None in my opinion. Other legions might call her Manus’ lady simply for lack of anything else to say.
Perturabo:
Lady of Iron, but in my opinion yet another legion/primarch that doesn’t use a lot of titles. Half because Perturabo doesn’t let them even perceive her; Forrix once called her Perturabo’s bitch and he beat the man bloody. And then he called her bitch in private. He’s toxic.
Fulgrim:
This one I actually have no ideas! Fulgrim is my least touched upon primarch but I’m sure he’d have many titles for her, what do you guys think?
Vulkan:
Lady of Drakes, Lady/Mother of the Salamanders, My Lady, Mother, etc. Unlike the other legions they all really want to associate with her as a legion not just Vulkan
Corvus Corax:
Raven Mother, Lady Corax. Surprisingly uninspired.
Alpharius/Omegon:
When Alpharius talking it’s Lady Omegon, when it’s Omegon talking it’s just My Lady
Internally, Lady/Mother of the Hydra
Konrad Curze:
None really, Shang or Sevatar might call her Lady Curze as a demeaning joke, and other legions call her Lady of the Night Lords simply because she’s basically an unknown to them. In my opinion Curze actively hides her until he can no longer.
Sanguinius:
Lady or Lady Angel, Lady of Baal, Mother Angel later on
Lorgar Aurelian:
Lady Aurelian, Lady/Goddess of Colchis, Lady/Goddess/Mother of the Word Bearers. He really loves cramming goddess into her titles
Mortarion:
None that I can think of, other than the obvious
Jaghatai Khan:
This one I’m also not sure one, but I also don’t think Khan is a super title driven guy. Given he isn’t for himself either.
Leman Russ:
Wolf Mother, Den Mother, Lady/Mother of the Wolves, Russ’ bitch
Horus Lupercal:
Lady Lupercal, and that's probably it. Horus jokingly tried to get his Mournival to call her Princess Lupercal once and she tried to smack him.
Angron:
none really. I HC that their relationship is too unknown to title, and so any formal interactions usually just hesitantly call her Lady or Consort to Angron, since that’s the closest descriptor.
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What do you think it would be like if primarchs used social media?
Lion El'Jonson:
Private account, doesn't accept follower requests
Rarely posts, usually just sunset or forest photos
Uses emojis sarcastically in replies
Has 20 followers but thinks it's way too many
Fulgrim:
Aesthetic pictures pose artfully depict exotic hobbies and runway couture
Filters all photos to perfection
Constantly debates high art vs pop culture
Thirst traps cause monthly massacres
"Like for a follow back 🔥"
Perturabo:
Photos are exclusively poorly-lit fortress blueprints
Bio is 25000 character treatise on siege tactics
Follows exactly 12 history scholars
Hates everyone and everything on the site
Actually ran some incisive political commentary bots before being banned
Jaghatai Khan:
Only posts the sickest motocross and extreme sports clips
Videos have insane views but no captions
Fans think he's a cryptid until rare livestreams
Hijacks Fulgrim's comments to hype rad stunts
Leman Russ:
Changed his name to 'Wolf Daddy 🐺'
Shirtless hunting/drinking photos get 10K likes
Roasts everyone in comments but they love it
Followers think he's a viking hipster meme page
Follows biker gangs, sled dog accts, scholars of old Terra
Rogal Dorn:
Only posts are architectural blueprints and records of fortifications
Gets into epic debates about structural principles in comments
No one knows if he actually loads new content or just archives old
Somehow gains tons of followers thirsting for DILF
Konrad Curze:
Pure darkness and screams in hazy JPEGs
3 followers and they're all bots
Posts disturbing ‘prophecies’ and murder puzzles
Under investigation for doxxing
Sanguinius:
Angelic selfies bring all the followers to his page
Flowing locks and golden abs get 20K likes instantly
Quotes poetry in every reply but no one understands
Only follows animal shelter and children's hospital accounts
Ferrus Manus:
Only follows engineering/robotics pages
Posts heavily filtered machine shop mini-documentaries
Photos of custom machines that make engineers weep
Comments are unintelligible techno-babble
Somehow gains huge gym bro following thirsting for muscle
Angron:
Gets banned monthly for graphic content and abuse
Posts angry rants about society in broken caps
Got suspended after sending death threats to Guilliman
Only follower is Khârn who comments 'THIS' on everything
Roboute Guilliman:
Shares updates on the latest Codexes
Only follows serious history/philosophy lecture pages
Posts long analyses of governance strategies
Constantly lectures others in comments
Has blocked half his followers for trolling
Mortarion:
Aesthetic is grimy gas mask selfies in back alleys
ONLY reposts plague doctor memes from 2003
Bio is endless copypasta about essential oils
Gains cult following of goths, metal heads and preppers
Magnus:
Endless livestreams talking about theoretical magic at 3AM with 2 viewers.
Tries making TikToks explaining sorcery but the videos are an hour long each.
Overexplains memes and emojis in long-winded threads
Memes and facts threads blow up as the most esoteric
Horus Lupercal:
Selfies showing off abs get him 50K followers in a week
Posts stunning photos from across the Imperium with #blessed captions
Fan club is half the mankind
DMs from people asking for selfies blow up his notifications
Lorgar Aurelian:
Aesthetic is dark robes and candlelit monasteries
Constantly reposting zealot sermons out of context
Accidentally starts wars of faith whenever he livestreams
Got suspended for uploading hardcore Slaneeshi hymns
Still has 10 alt accounts all named Brother [REDACTED]
Vulkan:
Only follows puppy accounts and craft bloggers
Posts Happy Holiday baking tutorials and dad jokes
Likes and comments positivity on everyone's posts
Followers think he's the nicest DILF ever online
Secretly the biggest wholesome meme page
Corvus Corax:
Only darkness, shadow puppets and cryptic poems
No one knows if he's real or a myth on the deep web
Internet detectives can’t trace his true identity
Only sends encrypted coordinates in mysterious DMs
No one has any idea what he's trying to say
1 follower is Alpharius who only replies 'No, I'm Alpharius'
Alpharius/Omegon:
Constantly pretending to be other online
No one knows their true forms or agenda
Takeovers of government sites spark conspiracies
Leaves clues implicating everyone else’s schemes
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HTP Theory: Door & Ross are Akira & Ryu
So my old Akira Cross analysis ended back up in my purview and with new information I think I've come to a new conclusion about the symbolism within it. I've already stated my theory and maybe you're already putting your own pieces together about it so I'll just cut to the chase.
I think Door and Ross are parallels to Akira and Ryu. Too full explain this I need to give context to the Ross D Clan theory (gonna be alot of lore jargon I'll try my best to explain but this assumes you have baseline knowledge of 40k and htp such as common terms). [THIS SECTION EXPLAINS ROSS D CLAN THEORY & ROSS WEREWOLF THEORY, IF YOU KNOW THEM FEEL FREE TO JUMP AHEAD] So Ross is a rather mysterious figure as he only shows up for about a collective minute throughout the new audio log. He seems to be based on Leman Russ from Warhammer 40k. While I won't spend too much time explaining W40K lore here the basics here are; Russ is a Primarch and leader of the Space Wolves. He's one of the missing Primarchs due to lore shenanigans. Being based on a Primarch would like Ross in some way to the D Clan as every other Primach inspired character we've seen in HTP has been related to the D Clan in some way (Marckus = Magnus, Door = Dorn, Horus = Horse, Ect). We know that at bare minimum D has lost one child (Excluding Anton) to the darkness who was 'seduced' by dark powers. I believe at least one of these children is Ross. Ross and his Employer? (I'm pretty sure Palmer is his employer or at least his boss) are tied to the Black Spiral Dancers (BSD going forward). The BSD are a Garou (werewolves) group aligned with the Wyrm. We know Palmer & Co are connected to the BSD because of the lantern.
This is a Bane Lantern which is a Wyrm Fetish object only used by the BSD. Suffice to say, bad news all around. Now the reason I bring this up specifically is because Palmer seems to be working for Pentex which is a corporation aligned with the interest of the Wyrm. Thus making Pentex the natural enemy of MOST Garou. However due to their alignment with the worm the BSD could work with Pentex. Visually everything about Ross screams masculine and primal. Additionally due to Russ being the leader off the space WOLVES and one of D's children (likely Ross) being seduce to dark powers; Ross being a BSD Garou is a likely possibility.
I mean look at him. (good lord) [D CLAN & WEREWOLF THEORY SECTION END] With those two things established hopefully you can begin to see the parallels between Ross and Ryu. As has been established, Akira Cross was used as a massive foreshadowing tool for the events of Chapter 5 and likely events that are yet to unfold. So how do Ryu and what we know of Ross coincide? As a refresher; Ryu is Akira's brother who was kidnapped by the chiropterans being turned into a hybrid human, yokai, nephlim, chiropteran hybrid.
I don't think Ross is a hybrid or anything but I do think that backstory is a parallel to Ross's backstory. D has made ALOT of enemies and he has knowledge of the Garou and their strength meaning he likely has experience with them. It's possible that D's family (in this case Ross) were targets of an attack/kidnapping which saw Ross being turned into a BSD Garou (either forcefully or by choice). It's possible Ross is also a parallel to Marckus if had succumb to dark powers like the Garou and the Wyrm in search of power. It would make D's fears for Marckus's own development make a lot more sense. Within Akira Cross Ryu and the Chiros aren't actually 'evil' persay they're taking actions they think are best for the current situation. While I don't know how much of this is really reliable foreshadowing due to how close it is to Boy's mental breakdown due to HORSE; I think Ryu not being pure evil is a notable choice here. He's joined with dark powers but he did it because he was coursed and he's not actively malicious he's still following his own beliefs just under the Chiro's orders. I think a similar thing is happening with Ross as he still seems very curious about the paranormal as he uh- Violently "Studies" the Fomori business man within the Audiolog. He said he came to the crash site for him specifically so Ross retaining his family's thirst for knowledge of the paranormal would create another parallel with Marckus. *Also the war against the Exquine could be a nod to D's line about Werewolves being soldiers in a war we don't understand. Okay so ross is Ryu, but how is Door Akira? Admittedly the parallels here are much weaker as Akira is evidently meant to be a parallel to Boy and we even have a direct Parallel to Door in Slab. However I think where the two are connected is in Akira and Ryu's connection as brothers. While I'm usually not one to compare design details as evidence, I can't just ignore the most glaring detail in Ross's design. HIS WHITE HAIR IS INCREDIBLY UNIQUE AMONG THE HTP CAST AND ONLY ONE OTHER CHARACTER SHARES THAT HAIR COLOR AND IT'S DOOR. If it where some other color like Black or Grey or Red or anything else then maybe it would be coincidental but Door and Ross are the only characters who have pure white hair. I don't think Ross is a hybrid or anything but I do think that backstory is a parallel to Ross's backstory. D has made ALOT of enemies and he has knowledge of the Garou and their strength meaning he likely has experience with them. It's possible that D's family (in this case Ross) were targets of an attack/kidnapping which saw Ross being turned into a BSD Garou (either forcefully or by choice). It's possible Ross is also a parallel to Marckus if had succumb to dark powers like the Garou and the Wyrm in search of power. It would make D's fears for Marckus's own development make a lot more sense. Within Akira Cross Ryu and the Chiros aren't actually 'evil' persay they're taking actions they think are best for the current situation. While I don't know how much of this is really reliable foreshadowing due to how close it is to Boy's mental breakdown due to HORSE; I think Ryu not being pure evil is a notable choice here. He's joined with dark powers but he did it because he was coursed and he's not actively malicious he's still following his own beliefs just under the Chiro's orders. I think a similar thing is happening with Ross as he still seems very curious about the paranormal as he uh- Violently "Studies" the Fomori business man within the Audiolog. He said he came to the crash site for him specifically so Ross retaining his family's thirst for knowledge of the paranormal would create another parallel with Marckus. *Also the war against the Exquine could be a nod to D's line about Werewolves being soldiers in a war we don't understand. Okay so ross is Ryu, but how is Door Akira?
Admittedly the parallels here are much weaker as Akira is evidently meant to be a parallel to Boy and we even have a direct Parallel to Door in Slab. However I think where the two are connected is in Akira and Ryu's connection as brothers. While I'm usually not one to compare design details as evidence, I can't just ignore the most glaring detail in Ross's design. HIS WHITE HAIR IS INCREDIBLY UNIQUE AMONG THE HTP CAST AND ONLY ONE OTHER CHARACTER SHARES THAT HAIR COLOR AND IT'S DOOR. If it where some other color like Black or Grey or Red or anything else then maybe it would be coincidental but Door and Ross are the only characters who have pure white hair. Obviously the D-Clan are related through their relation to D but I think Ross and Door have the same mother due to their similar hair colors. It would further explain Door's hatred for the supernatural. At bare minimum he's seen Anton get taken by the Fae and Ross turn to the supernatural in search of power. His rigid view being a result of that would make a lot of sense. Closing Remarks: HOLY SHIT THIS POST WAS AWFUL TO FUCKING MAKE BECAUSE TUMBLR WAS BEING THE WORST FUCKING WEBSITE EVER TO USE I HAD TO STITCH THIS POST BACKTOGETHER LIKE FRANKENSTEINS FUCKING MONSTER PARAGRAPH BY PARAGRAPH BECAUSE TUMBLR COULDNT FUCKING PROCESS THE POST GOD DAMN
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The primarchs having a sleepover, or having a smoke sesh?
Also I love these sm <3
The Primarchs having a sleepover!
Thank you so much! So here is a primarch-sleepover-thing! It was Big Es idea, so they can bond a little.
Lion: He is a bit on edge. His instincts tell him that sleeping in a room with so many people is dangerous. They later play Truth or dare and he ends up getting dared to kiss his crush (depending on my mood Sang, Rob, Leman or Konrad). Insert Gay Panic. Also showed up in his regular sleeping-shirt, which… it‘s a bit short. And has a bit of a deep neckline. Fulgrim: He has the most fancy, ruffliest nightgown ever. Brought make-up, hairstyling stuff and drugs for everyone. He‘s having a great time, except when he and Ferrus are told to stop making out in front of everyone. Proceeds to explain that they are in a open relationship and that he‘s willing to share. Perty: He has no idea what to do. Showed up in full armour, because he usually sleeps in armour. Promptly got dressed up by like half the others. Then built a pillowfort, Magnus falls asleep in it. Starting to think this might be fun. Jagh: One of the ones more used to sleeping in a room with a lot of other people, so he is pretty chill about this. Teaches the other how to braid, Leman is very happy to serve as guinea pig. Ends up cuddeling with Magnus, which is very comfy. Somehow manages to sleep through the whole night and be rested the next morning. Leman: Very happy to have a sleepover (tough he is still confused why this is special, sleeping alone is kind of rare on Fenris). Brought his wolves along. And alcohol, lot’s of alcohol. Somehow he manages to get drunk, and thus very cuddly. Flirts with everyone and tries to smooch most. Ends up sleeping on the floor, in a position that must be uncomfortable. Also barks in his sleep. Does sleep naked (or in his underwear) Rogal: He tries his best, but sleeping in a room with so many people is sensory hell and he wants his own bed again and also sleep at a reasonable time. Rob realizes that Rogal isn‘t doing well too, so the two end up in Rogals room and facetime their brothers so they can still participate in the sleepover while also beeing in a calmer enviroment. Konrad: Fulgrim forced him to take a bath. He is still grumpy because of that and tries to hide in the vents. Then get‘s coaxed out with the power of snacks and spends the rest of the evening parked in someones lap (most likely Fulgrim, Sang or Vulkan) so he doesn’t run away. It‘s very comfy. Refuses to sleep surrounded by so many people. His Sleeping-shirt hasn‘t been washed in years. Sang: Wearing a matching nightgown to Fulgrim. Just with a lowercut back. He is having a very good time and probally ends up kissing everyone at least once. Ends up stealing half the blankets to build a nest. There nearly is a battle royale abput who get‘s to sleep next to him.
Ferrus: Fulgrim is very unhappy that he didn‘t match with him. He and Fulgrim are very cuddly the whole time. Happy to serve as Fulgrims pillow, very good at it. Angron: Not quite sure what‘s going on, but Lorgar put him into a fluffy pijama-sweater and dragged him along and now he keeps getting handed plushies and snacks. It is acceptable. Then he just falls asleeps and doesn‘t move for the next few hours. Roboute: He also tries his best, but this is a total mess that has been organized really badly! Ends up leaving with Rogal and they read some books and infodump on each other, which is very nice. Morty: He‘s very overwhelmed at first and has no idea what to do. Just kind of sits in the corner at first, but then Vulkan comes over and asks if he would like to do something. They end up playing cardgames together and in the end he uses Vulkan as a giant teddybear. Also wears a pijama with cute little moths on it. Magnus: He suggests summoning demons as a fun actinity for the whole family! The others barely manage to stop him. Sulks for a while but then Perturabo shows him his pillowfort, which cheers him up again. Then makes up with everyone from his harem. Clothes that actually cover something? Never heard of that. Horus: Also tries to flirt with literally everyone and get‘s some really hard wingslaps from Sang. Then goes to take Fulgrims drugs and drink Lemans alcohol. Somehow still capable of calling Emps and Malc and assuring them that everything is fine. Horribly hungover the next day. Also sleeps either naked or only in his underwear. Lorgar: Is it fine to sleep in the same room as other people if you are not married? Doesn‘t matter, Angron won‘t let him go anyways. Definetly wearing a sleeping bonnet, he can‘t sleep with cold ears. Vulkan: He remembers to bring actual snacks! Very excited to spend time with his siblings and needs to hug everyone at least ten times. He kind of imagined something diffrent under „playing games“, but this is fun too! Corvus: Kind of staying on the side until Vulkan convices them to play cards with him and Morty. And then they and Morty get pulled into also playing stuff like spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven. Which is fun! Sleeps on the closet (not in the closet, that‘s where Lion is). Also wearing a crow-onesie, it‘s absolutly adorable Alpharius Omegon: This was probally their idea. They are having such a good time with all the chaos. Refuse to explain why there are suddenly two of them.
#warhammer 40k#primarch#Asks#lion el'jonson#fulgrim#perturabo#jaghatai khan#leman russ#rogal dorn#konrad curze#sanguinius#ferrus manus#angron#roboute guilliman#mortarion#magnus the red#horus lupercal#lorgar aurelian#vulkan#corvus corax#alpharius#omegon
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Hairstyle hcs time!
So recently ive been thinking what if all of those bald-ass primarchs actually had visited a hairdresser of some sort at least once in their lives instead of taking a razor and getting rid of all their hair. And also what if other who canonically have hair had something actually good on their heads instead of just going in a fight with flowing hair of theirs and idk being tugged on it by some warboss of whatever.
So there it.
I. Lion ElJonson. I think he should have had some sort of braids and it is also going to be probably just as loose and messy as it is in the picture since you know he likes a mele fighting.
2. Let him stay bald.
3. Fulgrim. Canonically hes already got the best hairstyle of all of his brothers but i think there must be something that would fit him best and also be a little more practical in a mele sword fight than having loose hair. I sadly havent found a male reference but it doesnt matter. So i would give Fulgrim a neat ponytail with a band probably made out of his own hair. Its practical, it shows how good hes hair is, its beautiful, its everything we need.
4. Perturabo. Hes focused a little too much on a practical side of things so i think if he had hair he would collect it into a bun. Not so neat since he does not really care about hair at all and it gets messy with time cause he just makes it in the morning and does not correct anything about it till the time he goes to sleep again unless the bun collapses. I also think he would have slightly curly hair because well greek. It also charcoal black.
5. Jaghatai Khan. Hes allowed to have messy hair because hes the definition of a mess himself and he messes around and pls stop me. I think his hairstyle is required to be a little more loose than its in canon because i dont think that a person like him would actually care about keeping his hair neat. Although i see him having a little ponytail on the back of his head the hair itself is just to short to be collected in one scrunchy.
6. Leman Russ. It was too easy to find lots of scandinavian kind of hairtyle references so there we have it: shaved sides with long braids going from the top of the head which is sometimes collected in a bun and sometimes not. Hairstyle had quite a meaning in the northen contries so i think hes the unexpected one to actually care about his hair and making his little braids. It must be some sort of a ritural for him.
7. Rogal Dorn. I honestly cannot see him with hair any longer than hes got in canon. Actually I see him as a person who would like it to be even shorter because you know another guy whos focused on practical stuff too much. He does not really care about hairstyle so his head is always neat but with nothing fancy or special. Hes hair looks like hes just gotten out of the army and is trying to grow it up but fails and cuts it short.
BUT i think he cares about his hair condition a lot because its quite hard to have a clear white hair when you are in constant war. Hes got plenty of purple shampoos to get rid of that annoying yellowness in his hair. One of the few of the primarch to actually use conditioner so altough his hair is short its the softes and the silkiest of all.
8. Konrad Curze. This was a difficult one actually. Most of his hairstyle habits disappear the moment he exits the Prime of Emperor after he finished his Fulgrims degree. And when he had any kind of hairstyle at all it was mostly made by Fulgrim himself so Konrad does not look like a junk rat while walking on his flagship.
I can imagine Fulgrim making poor Konrad having the worst and the most difficult hairstyle ever so he does not unbraid it himself or gets too frustrated by the structure before he finishes it. Maybe something that in M2 was popular among brides, all those hairstyle that requires at least two people to make it work on a head. Increadibly neat and shiny and silky though Konrad does not like it at all. Hes head is itchy hes eyes are pulled in two different direction because of how strong the tension on his temples is.
However Konrad does not shave his head bald out of protest. He just endures his fates.
9. Sanguinius. His hair must be so hard to work with because hes got the curliest of all curls so I think it would take a lot of time for him alone to make something of it properly. Thankfully hes got his sons who are all happy to help their dad with his hair and would probably fight each other for a chance to do so because its considered an honour.
He needs something that is strong enough to not fall apart during his flights and also beautiful so I decided it to be a head-circling braid or a few of them. It is held my several hidden hairpins and from outside it looks rather magical than real because of how good its made. His curls although are almost unnoticable.
10. Ferrus Manus. There is not that much to say about his hair outside of it being a total mess all of the time no matter how long or short it is. His hair must be very dry and so straight that it would never touch Fulgrimg stay in any kind of shape and will stick out in all possible directions like hes not a primarch but a hedgehog. If his hair ever grows up more than shoulder lenght it would look spiky.
Also no idea who the character is but his hair fits and also a little beard is something I can see Ferrus having.
11. Cut of his head while shaving it. Deserved.
12. Angron. Ive seen it somewhere as a canon fact but his hair must be red. So hes a redhead! Its cute! Since he was a gladiator there is not so much of things that he might have done with his hair so he would probably just keep it short. It wouldnt get too dirty in fights, practical and not as ugly as a bald head. Simple though not so neat because I think its kinda hard to wash it while being a slave.
Since hes got nails I think he would always have bristle because its hard to shave when you twitch all the time.
13. Roboute Guilliman. I do not know why hes hair is not curly since hes a walking reference to the Roman Empire. Anyway there is not so much to say about him too but I think hes really into accessories. Flower crowns, lauren wreathes, all that kind of stuff. Simple things like little golden leaves as hairpins too.
I also think that in 41M hes wreath hurts him because it has sharp leaves and is spiky in general so hes got little wounds on his temples all the time which sometimes bleed dirtying his hair and making him look even more like a figure of faith.
14. Mortarion. Hes hair is white or rahter colorless and very thin, also its very brittle considering all the toxic stuff hes met on his homeworld and also his casual habit of taking a glass or two of literal moonshine of his own making which is rather a promethium to human body than an actual drink. Since his hair is thin and brittle I think his hairstyle would be very uneven although he would still keep it long rather than shoulder or temple lenght. He lenght is different on every side of his head but somehow he does not look like a mess of a man who cannot take care of his own hair but rather like a fairy moth.
15. Magnus the Red. Hes a literal shapeshifter so he doesnt really care about whether his hair gets cut off or burnt during a fight or not because he can always grow it back in a minute using his warp magic. Although he still would need a hairstyle to attend some official meetings with humans or his brothers so this is it. I have no idea how to call it but with the hair of his it would look so great. It might appear to others like kinda messy but actually it is not and for Prospero where I can see this hairstyle to be quite traditional its very neatly made. Hes also into accessories like Roboute but for him its rather thin chains, strings and necklaces.
16. Horus Lupercal. Somewhere Ive read that hes got canonically red hair too so be it. Hes a redhead. If he wasnt bald he would have a short military hairstyle. Hes hair is straight, thick and healthy in every way though he does not do much to it. Hes got no actual hairstyle but hes very into royal kind of accessories. Crowns. wreathes, tiaras and diadems of all sorts. Nothing too extra like those gigantic russian crowns since he considers himself to be a rather warrior type of king. Its still too much in comparison to his other brothers.
17. Lorgar Aurelian. I think his hair is just like the Emperors because hes always compared to Him in terms of appearance. Brown. straight but not messy, very heavy. If he wasnt bald he would keep it long, much longer than his shoulders, probably to his waist. The hairstyle is simple yet sometimes quite excessive. Little braids with rings and chains of gold braided into them, sometimes with no braids at all and just the accessories put straight onto strands. And there is always a little too much of them than its required. Just as Sanguinius allows his sons to take care of his hair sometimes with braiding and washing it although it mostly Erebus and Kor Phaerons job.
18. Vulkan. Hes getting dreads since it was quite obvoius but its not that simple. I think on Nocturne its very important to keep you hair clean out of all that vulcanic junk that atmosphere is full of and dreads make it much easier to manage. The way it looks, amount of added colours and accessories is the way of showing a status of a person. Since Vulkan is a primarch his dreads would be very colorful and full of small details such as hollow gems, beads, tapes and belts. There must be lots of pieces of dragons` skin too. Its also very practical because a bun of dreads makes it much easier to work in a forge with long hair considering all the sweat and dirt.
19. Corvus Corax. I dont think hes the kind of a person who would put too much effort in his looks but its different with hair. Since hes got very thick hair and its canonically long I think he might grow it even longer and experiment with it a lot. There is a different hairstyle for fight, for meetings with humans, his brothers and his sons, for each and every special occasion. But i think he would prefer ponytails the because its simple, practical and still looks coold with that hair of his.
20. Alpharius and Omegon. Matching hairstyle. I havent found a reference pic for this one that would fit the vibe of the two of them. Its just crazy matching haistyles. Pink waist long dreads? They both got it. Blue quads with a shaved side? They are mirrorying each other. The older they get the more interesting it gets.
#warhammer 30k#lion el'jonson#fulgrim#perturabo#jaghatai khan#leman russ#rogal dorn#konrad curze#sanguinius#ferrus manus#angron#roboute guilliman#mortarion#magnus the red#horus lupercal#lorgar aurelian#vulkan#primarchs#corvus corax#alpharius#omegon#warhammer 40k#warhammer#headcanon
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𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝… 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐬.
Remember the Primarch's Group-Me ask? Yeah.... a thing has been born.
Guilliman is the brother who always texts and responds in paragraphs. Always. His brothers can always determine his mood by the length of his messages and/or whether or not curse words are peppered in. The one who'll say in so many words to kiss his ass if they have a problem with the way he texts.
Dorn is the opposite. His texts will always be succinct and to the point.
Magnus is a close second in terms of length but that's usually because he's always asked to explain something. Also likes to post random facts of the day because his brothers could benefit from some daily knowledge. If you're Leman, however, there's always an insult or two to be posted.
And speaking of Leman, he and Alpharius are tied for being the brothers who are always instigating shit.
Lion is the brother who hardly, if ever, texts but is the one who will pull up if anyone talks shit about him.
Horus and Fulgrim compete with each other by posting their outfits of the day. It's really a competition to see who takes the best photos. Horus also posts memes of the NSFW variety.
Corvus and Jaghatai usually keep the chat on mute. Usually.
Which brings us to KONRAD. Konrad is the one who randomly posts pictures he's taken of his brothers out and about or doing something which always elicits some version of "Konrad, what the fuck?" Then he posted a picture of Corvus' murder of crows and that was the first time Corvus ever sent a text. It's been on sight ever since.
Sanguinius is the one who posts positive affirmations throughout the day. He's also the one who sends the "Mental health check! How are we doing/feeling today?" text.
Angron: 🖕 🖕 🖕
Vulkan is the one to send the good morning and good night texts. Also shares pictures with Ferrus over the latest things they've forged.
Mortarion's texts just drip with assholery... whenever he bothers to respond.
Lorgar usually posts an excerpt of whatever latest treatise he's writing and looks forward to his brothers' comments. The criticism he doesn't like is usually met with passive-aggressive snark. He can ask the most innocent question and it'll start a full-on war in the group chat lmao.
You can ALWAYS expect Perturabo to show his entire ass in the group chat. ALWAYS. Dorn lowkey likes to piss him off with one-word responses.
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The Primarchs and their Brothers, Part 1:
The Lion
II(REDACTED)
“My brother is vastly misunderstood. In many cases, he really -is- the better man. But, unfortunately, lacks the tact to restrain himself from saying it.”
III. Fulgrim
“My brother is not burdened by false modesty, or perhaps any modesty at all.”
IV. Perturabo
“In contrary to what is sometimes said, I like the Lion, on occasion. I think that his tactics are well considered, and his reasoning sound. That does not mean they are always correct, or the reasoning based upon a complete understanding of the situation at hand.”
V. Jaghatai Khan
“He rides well. He speaks well. I do not know I always agree with his actions. But he has never sought my approval, nor I his. This is the way of brothers, and with that understanding, there is little that can be said against his motives, at least, despite his methods.”
VI. Leman Russ
“We are, they say very much alike. Perhaps this is true. I am not, after all, overly fond of myself most days….”
VII. Rogal Dorn
“A competent strategist and operational planner. If I have a significant criticism, it is that he sometimes lacks patience.”
VIII. Konrad Curze
“An utter madman.”
IX. Sanguinius
“The man knows his craft. He knows it well. A competent soldier of much bitter experience.”
X. Ferrus Manus
“Admittedly a great innovator. Horus may be the better politician, but I’d wager he is the more innovative, and arguably, the better soldier.”
XI. REDACTED
“We have a complicated relationship. That does not mean I do not believe in his purpose, even if his methods do not suit my preferences. I know that he is reliable. I know that he can be trusted. I know that he has treated my Legionaries with respect. That is enough.”
XII. ANGRON
“No man can destroy that many worlds and retain his honor.”
XIII. Roboute Guilliman
“A theorist’s theorist. His approach to operational warfare is remarkable. A toast to him, my hard fighting brother. May he know peace one day. For he has earned it!”
XIV. Mortarion
“In full disclosure, though we are often at odds, I credit him for teaching me lessons about warfare I had thought myself above the need to know.”
XV. Magnus
“Little appreciation for culture, though he is well read. A tendency to burn museums, though he is well educated.”
XVI. Horus
“He is an exceptional leader, and by the throne he’ll make sure you know that, one way or another.”
XVII. Lorgar
“A monastic aesthetic but a lack of spiritual direction. I am unsure how best to describe my feelings. I would say that he shows every evidence of greatness. And every evidence of internal conflict.”
XVIII. Vulcan
“He is a very hard man. Not a bad man, but a very hard one. I wish he were a more compassionate one… he has proven himself capable of this, but I am unsure whether he believes has the luxury. That he thinks of it as a luxury is where we differ. “
XIX. Corvus Corax
“Nobility. Feh.”
XX. Alpharius Omegon
“Many people think of Leman as the Emperor’s Executioner. Rarely do they consider the one among us who was born with the executioner’s sword in his hand…”
#malice#askmalal#malal#the primarchs and their brothers#lion el'jonson#the great crusade#dark angels#the primarchs
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modern au horus heresy; Horus Plans Bi-annual Family Dinner
Family Dinners occur twice - maybe three times a year, depending on whether the tremulous web of relationships is holding strong. Never on religious or cultural occasions, not for their ‘post-religious’ Father. Instead, they gather on their Father’s birthday, and on the 19th of May for reasons unknown to Horus.
Every year, he dreads the 19th of May. On Father’s birthday, there is a social script for his brothers to follow - be polite, give gifts and well-wishes, sing a silly song and wait for the good whiskey to become available. On the 19th, there is no such thing. It is a normal day, except all eighteen brothers (usually spread out across the world) must show up in the same manor, and sit at the same table for a twelve course meal.
It falls to him, as Father’s favorite, to keep the peace. That means, first and foremost, seating arrangements.
The table they will be seated around is rectangular, made of solid mahogany, with a white lace tablecloth. It was custom made, commissioned from some Italian artisan, to fit twenty persons of above-average height. Now, it has to fit only eighteen, but he has to move seats around so as to not make the absences noticeable.
Father will of course sit at the head of the table. Horus can’t sit to his left or right, because if he does Lion will throw a fit. But if Lion is seated next to Father, Leman will mock him relentlessly. So there needs to be a buffer - unambitious, tolerated by Father, and tolerant towards Father. Vulkan, maybe? But since the union debacle, Vulkan has been wary of Father, and might try to bring up labor relations during dinner, which would be a shitshow.
…Rogal. Rogal would fit. Perturabo will hate it, of course, but he hates most things, and has a tendency to be silent about it. Horus will make sure to seat Magnus next to Perturabo, as an apology. Rogal on Father’s… right side. And… Sanguinius to the left. Pleased at having the hardest part out of the way, Horus scribbles the names in the seating chart.
It would be so nice if he could just reuse the one from last year. But relationships in his family are ever-changing, though mostly changing in one direction (‘worse’).
Next to Rogal will be Lion. Leman can’t be across or beside Lion, but he can’t be too far from Father, because even though he derides such things as meaningless, Leman cares just as much as everyone else about where he sits. If Lion were still on friendly terms with his… best friend? Partner?... Luther, that would be an easy write in, but for reasons unknown that relationship has exploded. Roboute next to Lion, then. Not ideal, but Roboute can be trusted to be civil.
Horus gives in to temptation, and writes his name next to Sanguinius. If he is to survive this dinner, he will need the fraternal strength his best and favorite brother gives him. Leman on his other hand, as penance for his sins. Now it becomes a game of keeping opposites away from each other.
The grudges that are permanent: Leman can’t be near Magnus or Angron, Mortarion can’t be near Magnus or Roboute, Corvus can’t be near Magnus or Horus himself, Perturabo can’t be near Rogal, Konrad can’t be near Roboute or Lion or Vulkan or Corvus or Sanguinius- can’t be near anyone, really. With Konrad, it becomes a matter of sitting him near people who don’t actively hate him.
Unfortunately for Horus, there are also the more recent spats to deal with. Lorgar will likely break down crying if Roboute tries to apologize for the Book Incident again, so they need to be separated. Rogal’s missing spleen is an example of why Konrad must be kept away from him at all costs, and Fulgrim managed to get caught up in that mess too, so the only brother who could be relied upon to keep Konrad in check is similarly quarantined.
His head really fucking hurts. Nothing in this family can ever be easy, can it?
***
Dinner-planning does not end with seating arrangements. The next hurdle is the menu.
Father will want multi-cultural cuisine, favoring luxurious ingredients and ostentatious dishes. Magnus… might still be vegetarian? Though Horus did catch them with a mouth full of raw venison the other night (‘for ritual purposes’)... Konrad will only eat meat or bugs or beetroot, Lion will want to slay all the animals they eat himself (butchering is for servants, apparently), Fulgrim has a strict diet, Rogal will want seal blubber in at least one dish, and Sanguinius has personally requested that his meat be served very, very rare.
The chef employed by Father will not be able to create a twelve course meal, with variations tailored to all nineteen dinner attendees - nor does she deserve to suffer through that pain. Horus has co opted the staff of one of Father’s restaurants, and now there are twenty three grizzled masters of the culinary arts watching him pace around their spotless kitchen, muttering and scribbling in his notebook.
“For the hors d’oeuvres - carpaccio will do for most, I think, but Magnus would prefer fattoush, with toasted khubz but no radishes. Father will want caviar, of course. Roboute might like a charcuterie board?”
The head chef sets her jaw, bracing against the upcoming workload.
“Will mister Dorn be wanting… gravlax again?”
Horus flips to Rogal’s section of his notebook.
“Yes, I think so, with the hovmästarsås sauce, and he has requested that… the salmon be fermented with… spruce twigs?”
There is the sound of breath being sucked up between clenched teeth. Horus, frankly, does not want to know.
“The amuse-gueule - Father will probably enjoy demitasse cups, he was gifted a nice crystal set a few months ago. Other than that, I will leave it to your discretion… Ah, the apéritif will be Crémant d'Alsace, by the way.”
The chefs break out into discontented murmuring, and Horus truly does empathize - if he had his way, they would be drinking Dubonnet, but Father’s taste is… it is what it is.
One of the group clears his throat.
“For the soup - mister Russ did request meggyleves.”
“The cherry thing?”, Horus asks blankly. Chilled cherries and sour cream is not his idea of a soup, but if he doesn’t put it in after Russ specifically requested it…
“Sour cherries, with a dry red and cloves to taste.”
That sounds… actually quite nice. Konrad won’t eat it since it doesn’t have meat, and he’s fairly sure that Lion has staunch opinions on soup being savory, but everyone else might like it.
“That will do for most of us. Konrad won’t eat many soups, but gomguk served with the ox head is a safe bet. Lion is English, so any one of their abominable creations will do for him.”
One of the chefs, presumably English, makes a sound of offense. Horus does not apologize - Father told him never to cede ground to the help, and he refuses to pretend the English are anything but savages when it comes to their food.
“The appetizer should include ngohiong. Apart from that, just a typical meze spread should do.”
The ngohiong is purely an indulgence - Horus has been craving it for a while now, and he hasn’t been to the Philippines in over a year. The meze spread is a favor to Magnus, who has apparently been homesick recently, according to Lorgar.
The salad through first main courses are already set in stone; Çoban salatası, chinook salmon served pesce crudo style, dapanji with laghman. Horus is wavering on the palate cleanser, though, and he desperately needs ideas.
“What do you recommend as a palate cleanser? Last year, the chilled water with the peppermint did not… go over particularly well.”
An understatement - Father actually scoffed upon seeing the drinks set out, and by that point the hissed argument between Vulkan and Konrad had escalated so much that the glasses were little more than weapons to smash against each other’s heads.
“A limoncello sorbet, I think. With pansies as a garnish.”
Horus nods, jotting it down. His nerves are fraying as time passes - his schedule does not allow meetings to drag, and they haven’t even hit the second main yet. Fortunately, he does have a solid idea for that, at least.
“For the second main - wagyu steak. It’s giving in to mundanity, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Ah- seal meat for Rogal. Frankly I don’t know or care how to prepare it, but he’ll be upset if he doesn’t get to eat a seal.”
The sour faces before him indicate the chefs collective feelings on seal meat. At least it's not seal blubber.
“The cheese course… I think Father bought some artisan shit from Italy, so feel free to raid the cellars for that. Um. Dessert. I’m afraid that individual dishes are going to have to be prepared… My brothers have taken shared dishes as a slight and an insult. Just for the dessert course, though. I’m not sure why.”
“Oh, and macarons for mignardise.”
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The most probable list of the order Primarchs will return to 40k
Source: I just made it the fuck up by playing squash with my braincells against the ceiling of my cranium.
So right now we got Magnus->Guiliman->Mortation->Angron->Lion if I remember things correctly not sure if the order is entirely correct but it does not really matter. Not accounting for the two lost, that's 5/18. Then we take those who are definetly at the lower end of the list due to being dead: Horus, Sanguinius, Vulkan, Curze and Ferrus Manus. Lore implies that no Primarch can truly permanently die given their half-demonic heritage, but their return would be very unlikely, with Ferrus Manus being the only potential exception really. 10/18 taken care off
Then we just have to admit that Alpharius will never get a model. An "Alpharius Primarch Unit" would essentially be a unit of 10 Chaos Legionairies who all look the same but are suspiciously tanky and sneaky - so we will not gain a model unless there's a significant lore development regarding Alpharius and Omegon. 11/18 considered. So how do we count the rest of them?
So time to get it all in a single list from likely to less likely:
Fulgrim - the Emperor's Children are the last big Chaos Legion to get their own little book, and my guess will be that they'll get their stuff in 10th together with some unique units. About the scope of the World Eaters. Fulgrim is a fan-favourite too, with a very unique visual design, so this is not a very controversial pick.
Lorgar - With all four Primarchs present, Chaos will go on the offensive. The writing demands it. You can't bring all the top actors to the stage and don't expect them to act. Except, they are all dysfunctional wrecks incapable of cooperation, so Lorgar will most likely take the role of a diplomat to help Abby keep the brothers in line.
Rushing to the Imperium's aid there are multipe candidates, but there is one following Lorgar on his heels: Corvus Corax heavily mutated into a shattered humanoid form surrouned by a screaming storm of crows.
It is very likely that even Corvus will not turn the tide, but as it is tradition Chaos will fail due to their own dsyfunctional mess: Vashtor has entered the scene recently, and he will take his chance when all of Chaos' greatest warriors are out there and busy with the Imperium to send his own Champion to stick it to the gods: Peturabo, Lord of the Demon Engines will enter the fray with a menagerie of mechanical horrors.
Given that there is only one Primarch Peturabo has any relevant connection to, I suspect we will see the return of Rogal Dorn at the end of this entire mess. Less of a dramatic reveal and more of a surprise in the ending.
Leman Russ and The Khan are essentially wildcards, but they just buggered off to do pretty much whatever. Should the lore shift the focus from Chaos to Dark Eldar, then of course we will see the Khan, until then not really. Leman Russ meanwhile could show up in the same area as Corax.
Everyone else, even the Lost Ones, slots in below that, with one exception: Ferrus Manus has the potential for his revival build into his lore. If the metal goop that was his hands deemed lost in the heresy would be the thing to house his soul, assuming this thing found a useful body he could return, potentially even in a shocking twist after Fulgrim comes back, because those two got some serious beef.
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Which of your brothers did you like the most and least...other then Leman
"Contrary to popular belief, before he destroyed my home, I did not hate Leman too much. I thought he was stubborn, stunted, and quite willingly ignorant, but I never really hated him. He was more of a simple annoyance, but I could not fault him for his misgivings. His culture was quite superstitious -- I believe that is part of why he and Lorgar got along so well.
"Mortarion was another of my brothers I had less than stellar relations with. I will not speak much of him, he was as stubborn and short-sighted as Leman was at times, despite his hidden brilliance.
"On a more positive topic, Perturabo was one of those who I counted as one of my closest kindred. Both of us had a mind and love of discovery, especially that of the ancient past. He was a terrifically intelligent and creative man, but no one gave him the time to show it. Of course, he was very... stubborn. Almost hermit-like in his demeanor. But given some time and patience, I was privileged to see parts of him that he showed to no other." Magnus sighed. "It is a shame that no one else got to see his true self, only the siegebreaker. The Hammer of Olympia, only designed to break, never build. Quite a shame.
He paused for a moment, then shook his head. "There is also the likes of the Khan and Sanguinius. We were all visionaries, I'd like to think. The Khan's even temper kept my optimism and a bit of my arrogance in check. He was a wonderful ally to have, and a better friend. I deeply valued our conversations and time together. It is why I tried to warn him and tell him of what befell Prospero. Sanguinius, well... almost everyone loved him. He was charismatic, he was thoughtful, he was brilliant. I think part of him disliked being treated as such.
"And, of course, there is Lorgar. The both of us could debate the nature of reality for days, if not weeks if we were given the time. I could tell he held some jealousy for the way my psychic abilities were second nature, while his were always stunted and repressed. That, of course, changed after Isstvan. He changed much after his duel with Corax. Gone was some of the naivety and caution that had plagued him; now he was a more zealous man, one who firmly believed in what he was doing. We fought and argued much after then, especially since he was trying to get me back in the fight so desperately." He grew silent.
"I think he wanted me to stand with him because he felt alone. No other could feel the Warp as keenly as I, or as keenly as he, at that point. His mastery was incredible, and I knew he was capable of fantastic feats of power. I thought what he pulled off at Nuceria was going to destroy him -- it very nearly did. But part of him wanted me there to act as a friend and advisor. Perhaps if I had listened, he would not have become so..." he paused. "So obsessed. I recall visiting him as he did nothing but write and write and write for hours or days on end, completely overtaken by whatever he was hearing. He barely acknowledged my presence. I think that he might have been doing something similar once he secluded himself from his Legion."
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Sorry to hear about your spine. My hips and lower spine power the other half of Commorragh in sympathy.
So I present you this: which member in a band would the Primarchs be? The band setup doesn't need to be from one single music direction.
Rip my friend together we could probably create a new chaos god just focused on spine pain.
And THAT is exactly the kind of bullshit (affectionate) ask I wanted, thank youuuu!
The primarch, but I guess that this time it's a band au! And I know nothing of music!!!
Angron: Tried rock music, and he kept destroying his own guitar. Seem interested by percussion tho, and can RULE on a djembe.
Mortarion: everyone blink as he show up with a grand piano and fucking own the place. Collab with the others but in general prefer to do solo stuff.
Perturabo: FANTASTIC electronic composer and dj. Refuse to be know for that tho. Will hide behind a fake name and just give tracks and beats to his other bros.
Horus: Front man signer/guitarist. Probably actually average at playing, but he has that charisma.
Fulgrim: Synth player, but like to show off by playing ALL the weird instruments. Also back up vocals.
Konrad: No. Music is bad. He do not like. Probably run the weird merch booth in the back. In counterpart, Sevatar DESPERATLY want to start a boys band.
Alpharius Omegon: They have their own band wich is a daft punk look-alike with full helmet. They exclusively play weird techno that sound like late 2000's vocaloid music. Actually one of the most popular band in the galaxy, due in part to the mechanicus giving them a gigantic cult following.
Magnus: Start a "world music" band. Probably play a myriad of traditional, really cool instruments for it.
Lorgar: In Magnus' band, as the lead singer. He's unfairly good at it. If pressed, can rivalise Sanguinius as a guitarist.
Sanguinius: The hot guitarist. The one that play WAY too good for the band he's in. Would get all the groupies if he wasn't busy backstage with Horus rawing him.
Roboute: The manager of All The Others. He could be a crooner if he wanted, but then who would be flying this plane?!?
Rogal: he build the stages and the lights. He's actually competant on the drum but has no interest in playing.
Leman: he's so terrible at music, he doesn't have a single bone of rythmes lmao. He has!!! The energy tho!!! They probably use him as a roadie or something similar.
Lion: Basist. The kind that never have a single change of expressions and maintain prolong eye contact with the crowd as he play flawlessly
Vulkan: He has SUCH a nice voice?!? Would probably compose his own song without an actual band behind him tho.
Jaghatai: The best drummer in the galaxy. He goes SO HARD YALL.
Ferrus: No interest in making the music, but will love and support his brothers in their endeavors~! Fulgrim like to joke he's their sexiest groupie.
#fun fact i actully know nothing of music#it's the one art form that is black magic to me#warhammer 40k#warhammer#wh40k#primarch#primarch headcanon#konrad curze#perturabo#fulgrim#lorgar aurelian#magnus the red#horus lupercal#angron#mortarion#alpharius omegon#vulkan#ferrus manus#sanguinius#roboute guilliman#leman russ#rogal dorn#corvus corax#jaghatai khan#lion el'johnson
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How does your OC display love? What are some habits your OC has picked up?
Forgive me as this is a LONG post, but I felt it would be better to show, rather than tell, this one:
Words could not describe how awkward Perturabo felt being back in the Emperor's palace. It would have been bad enough if it were just his deadbeat father, a half-rotten corpse sitting in an overglorified golden life-support casket, ignoring him as per usual. But it wasn't just his father; so many of his brothers had come for this... ...this Sanguinala... ...in many ways it almost felt like the Heresy had never happened.
Vulcan, Corvus, Fulgrim, ROGAL FUCKING DORN, Magnus.... ...hell, even SANGUINIUS had come back from the dead. Raised by the same mysterious chaos entity that had turned Perturabo's world and soul inside out. Made him live his own life over and over again, through the eyes of the people around him, until he got the point. The people he impacted. The people he used, abused, and destroyed without a second thought. The people he...
...Perturabo shook his head, the physical action somehow dislodging the poisonous psychic tumor from his soul. Even though that parasite was long gone and the Eye of Terror no longer loomed over him, it had been feeding on his twisted spirit for so long that its blasted and withered hide still bled for it. Casting his self-destructive thoughts into the warp. This was a good thing (or so the Lanky Llama said). Though sometimes, when he started to brood and sulk, things would get... ...gummed up. He could shake any errant clots loose himself, but nobody helped the darkness bleed out of him like Nehetari.
And holy shit did he wish she were here right now. When she and her robotic people were around... ...the Lord of Iron actually felt like... ...himself. Or the version of himself that he wanted to be, anyway.
But no, "No xenos allowed at a family gathering," the Emperor had said. Not that it even would have mattered if they were; it was one of those weird weeks where the lanky llama disappeared on him and holed up in her room by herself. Something about a "Necrontyr biological cycle," that would, "likely make her act inappropriately," or "embarrass herself and him," but she would say no more on the matter.
Of course it would happen over the day when he needed--erm could have used her presence the most.
"Aren't you going to open your gifts, brother?"
Perturabo snapped out of his brooding to see Magnus looming beside him. It took him a second to process what he said, but when he did he scowled.
"Gifts Magnus? Really? Do think anyone here would ever give me a gift?"
"Excuse me! What am I, grox manure!?" there was no real irritation in Magnus's voice. He gestured to table in front of Perturabo, where three gifts sat that he could have SWORN were not there before. "And if you must know, you're the only brother here I saw fit to even GET a gift for."
"Aside from Sanguinius."
"Well... ...yeah..." the Crimson King shuffled his wings awkwardly. Both primarchs stole a glance at the MOUNTAIN of gifts that their brother had received. "...b-but he doesn't count."
Perturabo sighed. He didn't feel like feeling jealous of Sanguinius right now. Instead he grabbed the first package; it was obviously Magnus's gift. Whatever was in it was so warp-touched that it levitated a solid three feet off the table and changed size randomly. It turned out to be a small inter-dimensional rift that contained a book of arcane engineering, one that Perturabo had surprisingly not seen before. He thanked his brother; something that drew a surprised look from Magnus and a complimentary hug that Turbo awkwardly returned. The second gift was from Sanguinius, as it turned out, and when he opened the box he saw his own face, reflected in a simple yet elegant mirror. After a moment of wondering if this gift was actually meant for Fulgrim (clone fulgrim), he saw the inscription on the box lid which read, "to my big brother: it brings me joy to see happiness in your eyes now. I hope with this you can see it too."
Perturabo swore under his breath and slammed the box shut, furiously hoping that Magnus hadn't heard him sniffle just a tiny little bit. It was a moving gift to be sure, but after everything that had happened... ...somehow it just made the Lord of Iron feel like garbage. Well... ...more so than usual.
Thankfully, quick-thinking Magnus directed his brother's attention to the third gift. In fact, if he didn't know better, Perturabo would have sworn Magnus seemed even MORE excited for him to open this gift than his own.
"What is... ...is this from...?"
"MHMMM!" Magnus's enthusiasm was all-consuming, his grin audible in his tone. "She asked me come and pick it up from outside her door earlier this morning."
Perturabo's melancholy dissipated into a wave of curiosity. What sat before him was a perfect cube of blackstone, though if he knew anything about Nehetari, he knew that wasn't all there was to it.
Sure enough, when he picked it up, glyphs flashed along its side.
"Is... ...that..."
"Necrontyr," Perturabo murmured in deep concentration. "...and not just any form of Necrontyr; this is Ksakhemet Script."
"What?"
"Think of it as our high gothic. Except it's as if we had a high, HIGH gothic. Only the three Necrontyr kings and their families even knew how to speak this script, let alone how to read and write it. It is ancient, according to Nehetari... ...it's from a time even before the Necrontyr first started their galactic expansion."
Those statements alone were like a different language to Magnus, but his lust for ancient knowledge ignited like a blazing inferno. He would absolutely have to grill both Perturabo AND his xenos companion for more information once she was.... ...*ahem* no longer indesposed.
Perturabo turned the cube over and over in his hands, reading the ornate lettering as best he could. He'd only just started learning how to read Ksakhemet; he couldn't speak it properly because he lacked the extensive Necrontyr vocal range, but the lettering started to make sense the more he plied his fantastic mind.
"It is... ...a puzzle cube. I believe."
"D'AAWWW... How sweet...!"
Perturabo punched his brother in the shoulder, but it phased through his immaterial form.
"Shut your mouth!" He could already feel the heat creeping up his neck and he HATED it. Although he had to admit he was a little touched, if amused, that Nehetari had put together such a... ...thought-out gift.
And well-thought-out it was indeed! It became clear to the Lord of Iron that this wasn't just some slide and lock, physics based puzzle toy for mortal children. It was a custom-made testing tool designed to challenge his understanding of spacial compression, sub-atomic energy transfer, and even Necrontyr cultural theory. Each segment was challenging, unique, and soon he found himself absorbed. Magnus tagged along for the ride of course, and his respect for Nehetari grew each time he heard his brother growl in frustration, or give a small "...Ha! So that's it..."
"She has... ...quite the impressive mind. Especially for a xenos."
Perturabo grunted his affirmation. "...you don't know the half of it. She makes the Hrud look like a bunch of children." With a click the puzzle changed shape in his hands again, "...I would even say she has a mind similar to ours."
"...you don't say..."
"Hmph, she's DEFINITELY smarter than Dorn. I know that for sure."
Magnus chuckled. Of course she was.
The Lord of Iron didn't realize it immediately, but the puzzle cube was meant to serve another function, not just being an intriguing mental exercise. The more he fidgeted with it, the more time passed. Not by some technomantic power or magical means; he was just so absorbed in Nehetari's gift that he didn't notice his brothers packing up their gifts and starting to drift around and away from the throne room. Magnus, realizing he wouldn't be much help with this exercise, had taken notice of the custodes' Captain General (the one they call "kitten") and had begun to chat with him. Sanguinius was now at the Emperor's side, trying to pacify an impatient and belligerent Angron who just wanted to go celebrate Khornnuka with Lotara and Kharn. Corvus had dissapeared to... ...somewhere, and Vulkan was... ....had he somehow jackknifed himself into the psychic fireplace that the Emperor created!? Russ was laughing at him and drinking himself stupid (not that he had many IQ points to lose in the first place), but thankfully nobody was paying any attention to Turbo. Huh, who'd have thought; Perturabo was actually HAPPY that he was being ignored right now.
With a satisfying ding the cube shifted again, and to his surprise, glyphs flashed indicating that this was, in fact, the final challenge.
"Let's have it then. I'm ready..." the Lord of Iron grinned. He flicked the raised pad below the text and the final task scrolled across blackstone. Surprisingly, this time it was in High Gothic.
"...who is... ...my... ...favorite... ...human?"
He stared at the screen, dumbfounded. "Really? After all that, the last puzzle, is 'who's my favorite human?' Really?"
But wait... ...was the answer actually as easy as it appeared? Perturabo wanted to put his own name, but what if he was wrong? What if he wasn't her favorite human? He was hardly even "human" in the first place. Maybe she meant a true, normal human? But if this was supposed to be a present for him, why would she blatantly make him answer that her favorite human WASN'T him. What if...
"Hey nerd, the answer's obviously you."
Perturabo jumped to see Leman Russ passing him.
"What the-! Whe-how did you... ...you can't read!" Perturabo stammered. There was no way Leman just waltzed over here...
The Wolf Lord grinned, "Hey, ye nerds aren't the only ones who know how teh learn things. If I taught meself teh read Fenrisian runes, I can teach meself teh read some wolfin' High Gothic!"
"..."
"...that and I may or may not have used some of meh own psychic powers to read yer mind. You know, teh fill in teh blanks."
Considerably less impressed, Perturabo grumbled as he keyed the letters of his name into the cube. With another ding and a flash of green light, previously invisible cracks along the cube's surface began to glow and the cube began to shift one last time. When it finished, a tiny black tray was left in its place, revealing... ...a letter? And a pict?
"What's all this now?" Leman reached towards the tray.
Perturabo snatched it away, "Fuck off Russ! This is MY gift!"
"Oooh, is this from yer GIRLFRIEND!?"
"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!"
"Hey fuck you Leman!" Oh boy, here comes Magnus, "Like you could ever understand the subtlety and genius that went into that puzzle box! Let him enjoy his gift in peace!"
"LeT HiM eNjOy HiS gIfT iN pEaCe!" Leman crooned. "Shut her trap and go back teh yer boyfriend, yeh big red canary."
Magnus puffed up in outrage and looked about ready to turn Leman inside out. When Perturabo noticed Sanguinius inbound, no doubt to dissolve the impending battle, he took his chance to dip out. And by "dip out" I mean grab the tray and its contents, and duck under the table. It would hide him for all of a second, but that would be as long as it would take him to read the letter.
Or it would have, if Leman hadn't, SOMEHOW, been able to reach the tray before him. He snatched up the letter, practically from between Perturabo's fingers, and with utter horror the Lord of Iron watched as his brother brandished the page, cleared his throat, and began to read:
"Perturabo..."
"FUCK YOU LEMAN THAT'S NOT YOURS!!" Magnus howled. Perturabo roared in fury. Both brothers made a mad lunge at the Wolf Lord but he dodged, shit-eating grin on his face as he continued reading.
"...Perturabo,
I'm sorry, but I...."
"....failed you?"
At the mention of the word "failed", Perturabo's onslaught faltered, as did Magnus's. Leman's grin died on his lips as he read the next line, his eyes widening for a moment before they squeezed shut. He then passed the letter back to Perturabo, mumbled a barely audible apology, turned, and without a word walked off.
"That's not what I... ...uh... ...expected?" Magnus muttered. "He looked like a kicked pup. What did that letter..."
Perturabo clutched the paper looking the most feral Magnus had ever seen him.
"...you know what, never mind. That letter's meant for you anyway." He added quickly. "I'll be in the library if you need me, brother."
And just like that, Perturabo was alone. Well, mostly; the Emperor was still there, but he was oddly quiet. Sanguinius was watching him too, but from a discreet distance.
The Lord of Iron backed up into the corner of the room, still riled up but looking a little less crazy. Once he was satisfied that NOBODY ELSE would attempt to confiscate his stuff, he finally began to read what Nehetari wrote for him.
"Perturabo,
I am sorry, but I failed you. You said you wanted your brothers' appreciation for a Sanguinala gift, but of all the ones I interviewed asking for an appreciative memory they have of you, the only ones who gave me a response were your brothers Magnus and Sanguinius. So instead I instigated a situation to make one (please reference the included image). If your brother's expressions are to be believed, then I believe they all enjoyed attacking your snow bunker. I certainly enjoyed helping you defend it.
May you have a somber and pleasant celebration,
The Mehlrose,
Nehetari of the Szarekhan Dynasty.
Heir to the Silent Throne."
...Perturabo couldn't believe it.
He's asked for that as a JOKE. He hadn't actually been serious. When she's approached him, asking what he wanted as a "Sanguinala gift," he'd been in the middle of a complicated programming script and had said that just to get the point across that he didn't want to be bothered.
Slowly, and with a shaking hand, he lifted the pict from the tray and turned it over.
And she was right. This shot must have been taken by one of her tunneling scarabs. Or maybe one of her guard as they were circling the perimeter, hurling snow and distracting Russ. But however it was taken, somehow it was able to get a perfect shot of every primarch, including himself and Nehetari, hurling fucking snow or getting completely dunked on, but every single one of them had varying degrees of stupid fucking grin on their faces. Even Corvus was smiling!
It struck him: had that been her plan all along?
Minutes passed, and finally the Emperor himself spoke up. "My son, you're shaking like a Dark Elder nightclub on a Tuesday."
Perturabo didn't hear him. It took everything he had just to hold the pict in his trembling hands.
Why? Why. Why would she bother. How did she... ...why, why, why WHY? HOW!? When did she even have the TIME to plan this out!? There was no way. And not for him. Why? Why for him? And ALL OF THEM. How could she have known they would ALL come?
"Brother, are you ok?"
Perturabo snapped out of the loop to see the Angel standing beside him with a hand on his shoulder. He hadn't realized just how loudly his two hearts had been thundering, how BADLY his whole body had been shaking, until he felt that steadying touch. Instinctively he tried to regain control over his mind and body, and stowed the pict away in his belt.
Sanguinius asked no questions; he simply nodded.
"I'm going to find her..." Perturabo's voice sounded like sandpaper. He could feel the tears rolling down his neck, but he ignored them. "...I don't care if she FUCKING KILLS me; I am going to find her. She has no right.... ...she had no right to... ...to..."
"...go ahead brother." Sanguinius's smile was warm with understanding.
Salvaging what little dignity he felt he had left, Perturabo straightened up, turned on his heel, and walked shakily out of the throne room. He disappeared into the darkness, leaving his father and his brothers to stare after him in wonder.
(Sorry this is such a long post, but I started writing it and just went to town. I wanted to SHOW, rather than just tell, the kinds of things Nehetari does for the individuals that are important to her)
@gracia-regina @ask-a-scheming-sorcerer @luwupercal
#perturabo#nehetari#sanguinius#magnus the red#the emperor of mankind#leman russ#if the emperor had a text to speech device#tts#tts universe#necrontyr princess#warhammer 40k#wh40k#more oc shenanigans#asks#fuukonomiko
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