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bbrokenbback · 5 months ago

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Sorry for the misunderstanding! I didn't mean to insult anyone's blorbo here, I think my choice of words for a rather joking little paragraph were wrong, I'm sorry.

I totally agree that, in the first moment, Fulgrim would look at the personality of his possible beloved. All of the Primarchs have abilities to read human souls with ease. But I think for someone who tries to reach perfection other aspects would be important as well.

I guess my look at Warhammer is rather a little too dark, and it causes my flood of thoughts to go in this direction. Of course, in case of choosing between someone lazy yet noble and someone who pursues perfection from a lower class, he would choose the second option. But if he saw for example two people, both of whom would share his perfectionism, but one is noble and the other one is not, he would choose the first one, considering they have literally similar personalities for simplicity's sake.

How's it to bear a demigod

Recently the genre of selfshipping and general ‘Y/n’ and ‘x reader’ type of content started to thrive in our Warhammer corner of tumblr. And here I am, analysing it and bringing my bit of salt. Don’t you worry, there will be no hate here.

As a small introduction and a pretty much a justification on why I am thinking about such things in the first place, I have to point out that all of you seem to like breeding kink with Primarchs and the whole ‘pregnant with a half-primarch’ idea. But as all the things, pregnancies have consequences, and it’s the birth of the mentioned half-primarchs.

The trigger and content warning section: mentions of breeding kink, pregnancy. I also think that this post might trigger body dysmorphia.

Let’s start with some general biology. I must admit, I am no doctor or biology/anatomy major myself, in fact, I am a software engineer so I would gladly accept any additions or corrections on this part. Please, share your thoughts as well.

First of all, I can’t believe that the birth of half-primarch is something easy to survive. Not only that the labour itself will be very difficult due to well size of the baby, but also the body of the woman will suffer lots of unpleasant changes during the pregnancy. The Primarchs developed and grew in their capsules that were far more advanced that a mortal’s body, and I think the effect, however partial it is, will be close to devastating.

Not only will the woman suffer from terrible nausea and hormonal turmoil, but her whole body will be affected. I can imagine severe avitaminosis, caused by the baby basically sucking mother’s body dry, as the least horrible yet pretty common occurrence. Also, heart-related problems due to the increase in maternal blood volume that puts pressure on the cardiovascular system, and bones becoming very brittle are expectable.

I also think that the pregnancy itself won’t last as much as it does usually due to how fast the embryo grows. For instance, I would suggest the average duration of seven months.

Something close to the things that happened to Bella from the Twilight when she was carrying Edwards child. I know how edgy it sounds, but I hope that at the very least it explains my point.

We’re done with the first part, not let’s talk about something even more interesting. Mutations and percentage of well the Primarch’s part in the half-primarch.

First of all, let’s be a little cringy here and set the chance of getting pregnant with each Primarch based on the geneseed acceptance rate. Well you know, geneseed, seed, pregnancy, acceptance rate ohmygodjustshutmeup.

We’ll have something like this:

Perturabo. The Iron Warriors have the lowest geneseed rejection rate among all the legions before the Heresy, so it will take him probably to just cough next to the poor reader to get her pregnant. Also, this is the reason why Perturabo and his legion were chosen by me in the work where I describe how a half-primarch would live and how their relationship with their father and brothers would end up being.

Roboute Guilliman. The Ultramarines share the second place with a few others, so well, it wouln’t take that much time for the reader to become pregnant with a little blueberry as well.

Rogal Dorn. At least in something he is not better than Perturabo. Congratulations.

Lion El’Jonson. He doesn’t deserve it.

Jaghatai Khan. With him starts the ‘average’ section, the acceptance rate somewhat close to that of well very like mortal man.

Konrad Curze. Surprisingly.

Ferrus Manus. Well-deserved, unsurprising.

Horus Lupercal. He probably cares about this fact too much.

Corvus Corax.

Alpharius and Omegon. As one of the authors here said, the chance of getting twins and over amount variations is increased significantly.

Fulgrim. And from here starts the part of the family which was quite unlucky due to different reasons. Fulgrim, for a fact, has a tendency to mutations in his geneseed, which probably affects its acceptance rate.

Lorgar Aurelian. Just due to the fact that he’s a very strong psyker.

Leman Russ. Has a lower rate probably due to the most obvious differences from his anatomy and even an average Primarch anatomy, not to mention baselines.

Sanguinius. His lower rate is also caused by the differences in anatomy and his own mutations. Also, he’s from a world where everything is radioactive and a psyker.

Angron. He’s just a bad choice for such a thing in general, not to mention his average abilities on the subject.

Mortation. Not only does he and his legion suffer from a quite low geneseed acceptance rate, but he himself was very affected by his homeworld. You remember how he looks? That explains everything.

Magnus The Red. He has a severely high mutation potential, low acceptance rate in general, he’s a psyker and his body is probably not even his body, and God-Emperor knows how many times he messed with his genome with his warp magic.

Vulkan. Poor guy is just unlucky, it’s a canon fact. He has the 90% mutation rate in his geneseed. He’s also from a highly radioactive planet.

With all of that said, let’s get to something that is actually somehow related to the ‘headcanon’ in the hashtags.

I have a whole little universe in my head with the possible characters that could be those half-primarchs, but I won’t share it here, I’m a little too embarrassed by it. I just would like to put some on my thoughts down on the subject of which kind of baseline is the most likely to end up with each Primarch, or, rather, whom they’d choose if they had a choice (they don’t, it’s x reader genre) and what kind of mutations and percentage of the ‘Primarch’ part in the half-primarch they would most likely end up having in their child.

Lion El’Jonson. He would end up either with a noblewoman from Caliban which Luther had chosen for him (subtly, not like Kor Phaeron, but like an actual father who cares about his socially awkward son ending up alone) or with a noblewoman from Imperium when Lion is found. If it was actual Lion’s choice, he would try (and fail miserably) to court a woman knight from his order. She would actually be strong enough to carry a child at least, meanwhile the noble one would probably end up dead after the birth.

The child will probably have one of the highest rates of Primarchness in them due to the geneseed acceptance, being a little less tall then Lion himself and a little less strong. If it was a girl, she would me much more flexible and faster than Lion himself, because she will probably have the same speed but she’s simply lighter than him.

As for the mutations and in general the possibility of understanding that this is a child of the First Primarch, the child would most likely not have his facial features, but they will have the same forest-green eyes and blonde hair.

2. Fulgrim. He had several wives canonically, and probably they are all noble women. I can’t imagine him having anything lesser, he wouldn’t allow himself to fall for a serf or someone else who is not perfect enough to match him. You wonder what happened to those wives and possible children? They are all dead.

If the child somehow survives, they would either end up actually perfect, bearing the same white hair Fulgrim has and having his charm, or they would be a filthy mutant, and the necessity of killing them for their own good will traumatize Fulgrim badly.

If it’s the better option, the child would probably end up the same height and strength as an average Astartes, but will be much more intelligent.

3. Perturabo. It’s pretty simple here, it would either be Calliphone or one of her friends. He’s also quite likely to fall for someone random, like a serf or a remembrancer, or a scientist from one of the planets he conquers, if they show him just a little bit of love. So, the choice is wide.

It would be quite easy to notice that the child is his and probably his only, the mother’s features are almost unnoticeable, even if they are a girl. They do not only have his face and physic features, but they also have the same temper. And this is bad news. As if that wasn’t enough, the child would probably end up even having almost the same physique, the height, strength and intelligence. The man has an ability to raise an army of his own little bitchy primarchs for his own needs. The bad news are, the mother is rather unlike to survive the birth of such a creature, and if she does, he can count her days, because her body is ruined.

The child would probably end up with better psychic abilities than Perturabo, being able not only see the Eye of Terror but actually have some useful connection to the Warp. Not like they would be like Magnus, but an average psyker, probably with a power to foresee future like Sanguinius does.

4. Jaghatai Khan. He doesn’t need someone who will share his passion for bikes and speed, no, he needs someone with a spirit that thrives for freedom, open-minded, yet calm and wise. A woman that would rather make a hookah for a dinner than a homemade meal. Someone with strong personality and a connection to their homeworld, preferably Chogoris.

Actually it would probably be the only child with healthy relationships with their parents. They might not bear Khan’s physique or his intelligence, but they have the same mindset not by genes, but because they were raised by their father. Due to the fact that the child or actually part-human, the mother is rather likely to survive the birth and raise them with the Primarch, surrounded by the same chill-mindsetted Astartes.

One can understand that the child if Khan’s only if they’ve seen the Jaghatai himself. The features might be rather difficult, and the height and build is closer to that of an Astarte, but eyes don’t lie, you know.

5. Leman Russ. He desperately needs someone tough enough. He would not be able to go through her death caused by his child. In fact, it would probably make him resentful towards them. And with the high rate of mutations, all the complications are expected. And the bastard would not trust the Imperium medicals, he would bring her to Fenris and its rune priests. They would probably do better job though.

It’s impossible not to notice that that’s Russ’ child. The fangs, all the Fenris attributes they are bearing, the eyes, everything. The face features might be quite different though and even if their height is closer to that of an average Astarte, their strength is close to that Leman has.

All of Leman’s children are cursed with ungodly amount of body hair, and due to all the mutations it might cause even a girl to have facial hair and probably be infertile.

6. Rogal Dorn. The man requires a housewife who’d greet him with hot dinner after a long day. The youngest daughter of some noble family from Terra. He would probably end up afraid of getting her pregnant because he might lose that little that he has.

He’s the lucky one. Not only that the mother is rather likely to survive the birth, but also the child is just a human who’s three meters tall. They don’t have all those scary Primarch mutations like Betcher’s gland or omophagia. Even if the mother is not healthy after all of this, the child is.

The only mutation that would the child probably end up having is the same tendency of premature gray hair. Rogal’s features in their face are just as recognizable as their mother’s. They also might have a chance of being born a pariah which is well quite sad.

7. Konrad Curze. She could be anyone, just not from Nostramo. Especially, not the Nostramo nobility.

The mother has a rather high chances of surviving, and also she might even end up having just an ordinary baby. It would probably not be noticeable from the beginning that that is the Primarch’s child, if not the black eyes.

They are probably rather short in comparison to a space marine, but still taller than a mortal. Their strength is questionable, they have a potential, but it requires hard work and something close to the Astartes trainings. But they cover it all with their psychic abilities. Foreseeing is the worst talent to bear. And they would suffer from its intensity just as much as Konrad does.

8. Sanguinius. The first woman that will see him as a man and not as an angel or creature of divinity will have his hearts immediately. Simple.

This would be very tough on mother. The stronger child is, the more Sanguinius’ features and mutations they bear, the harder it would be to her to bring them to life. Especially if the wings are present.

There is a lot of room for possible mutations. The wings are the most likely one, but not the only. Feathers might appear on random spots on the child’s body, they might end up having quite too many fangs in their mouth. They wouldn’t look like Sanguinius or their mother in the slightest, they would look like a monster. But the kind hearts of their parents will raise them to be the most wholesome creature that was ever brought into this world.

9. Ferrus Manus. He would definitely end up with someone who was made tough on the Medusa. The cold-hearted woman with strong personality, straightforward and strong, the one that will follow him onto the battlefield and fight alongside with him. And he doesn’t care about her safety – he knows pretty well that his love can endure much more than he himself.

Such a woman would never die at birth. In fact, due to Ferrus fixation on technology, they would end up having a child grow in an actual tube instead of mother’s body.

They would probably end up quite average among other Primarch’s children, not the strongest, not the weakest, but probably with Ferrus and their mother’s personality. What they lack in their abilities, they compensate with their soul. A little fire born from the forge of the toughest love imaginable. Their mother probably has more impact in their appearance than Ferrus.

10. Angron. It’s very difficult to find the kind of person that would be willing to endure everything that comes with him. His nails, his past… it’s difficult. But if she’s able to see past that, to find him in those short moment when the nails are silenced, she would fall for him no matter who she is. But better not a slaveholder.

The only feature that connects the child to Angron is their red hair, and it’s only a sign for those who know that he’s a canonical redhead. Angron also is the shortest of the Primarchs, so the child will probably end up a little less tall that an average Astartes. It would be easy to mistake them for the legion’s neophyte.

As for the mutations, there are two roads. The child will either end up being a psyker, and empath to be precise, because Angron had a potential for that before the nails came into picture, or they would have a short temper that the War Hounds were famous for. A short temper on the verge of mutation because they don’t need nails to wish for them to sing in their head during a battle.

11. Roboute Guilliman. He needs a smartass. A little intelligent sarcastic brat meter and a half tall who’s sharp tongue will make Ultramarines shake in fear. A fucking running nail.

Since she would have an access to the best medical care in Ultramar, she’s quite likely to survive and even end up with her body returning close to its original form. The pregnancy will be hell on earth but she’ll be treated like a queen the whole time.

The child will only have Roboute’s charisma. Height, strength and intelligence would be a little less but still much more advanced than that of Astartes. But the features… they are all little (and then large) copies of their mother. You would never know they are Roboute’s and not else’s.

12. Mortarion. He needs an impossible combination: a gentle soul with tough personality. Someone who, just as like him, was traumatized and toughened to the same horrible extent.

The whole pregnancy, if it even happens and lasts, would be horrible. It wouldn’t be a surprise if the mother died during it without carrying the child to term. And the child themselves has small chances of surviving if they end up with too many mutations.

If they survive, they would be a mutant. Probably bald from the birth with somewhat deformed body and limbs. But, since it’s a half-primarch, even those features that would make a mortal outcasted, make them beautiful. Androgynous, probably an albino, with rare white lashes and extremely thin body. Would have six fingers of five fingerbones. Their mutations will be obvious but, like Sanguinius, it would make them look divine. And it would make them suffer. Mortarion hates himself for creating it just as much as he loves them.

13. Magnus The Red. He needs everything at once and nothing at all. Would probably end up with a legion serf or a psyker slave from Prospero.

He would not allow her to die during the labour and after it. He just would not. But the child… it’s complicated. His psychic powers might cause them to be born in a severely deformed body from the very beginning. Those flesh golems that The Thousand Sons turned into before his arrival is something close to that the child has a high chance of ending up being like.

If they are not already born a monster, their powers require too much control. They have Magnus’ talents, but being an infant they don’t have his powers. They would probably spend their childhood in hospitals or with their father always by their side to prevent their body from bursting up in a Warp portal. But as they grow and learn, they will be able to control it themselves, and even if they weren’t born with Magnus physique, they can simply shapeshift into it. They also have a chance to have a rose-colored skin.

14. Horus Lupercal. He needs the best from the best with a sole purpose of closing her behind the doors and breaking her for him. He would make Lotara Sarrin his housewife.

He cares a little too much about her fertility and health, so he would use all of his Warmaster powers to get her the best medical care. No matter the challenges she- or I meant they would meet, she would carry the child to the term, survive and get even healthier than before. The Primarch with the highest chances of, considering all the circumstances, of having more than one child.

The child is average. Like really average among their siblings from the other Primarchs. Always good enough and never the best. Has almost perfect physique of their father, but not as much as Roboute’s or Perturabo’s. Smart, but not as Magnus’. Beautiful in a special, superhuman, scary manner, but not as Sanguinus’ or Mortarion’s. Charming, but not as Lorgar’s. And always not enough for their father. Probably the most miserable child. The most likely to be a small copy of Horus, especially in face features.

15. Lorgar Aurelian. If he doesn’t end up with the worst option of Kor Phaeron choosing for him, he would find his love among simple mortals. Not a noble and not a serf. A clerk or a scientist, likely a teacher. And he needs someone mentally stable because he is not one.

If the child doesn’t end up with Lorgar’s psychic powers, they would be carried to term relatively easily. If they do, it would be rather hard. The child would definitely survive, but the mother’s condition is questionable.

They have Lorgar’s voice. His charming ability to stop wars with words. And his purple eyes, which somehow shine gold. But they are most likely to be more human than a Primarch, probably the shortest and the weakest one. Might develop psychic abilities in the future, getting visions just like their father did.

16. Vulkan. Just like Jaghatai, he would probably have a healthy, normal family. Chill and happy, forging ceramite toys for their future children.

The mutations are not the first problem that appears. The whole deal is a painful, disturbing process. It’s hard to get pregnant, it’s hard to keep the embryo, it’s hard in labour. And the child has even lesser chances of surviving it all than the mother. It’s all just pure misery.

But if they do, the mutations are probably of those that actually help the child to survive. They will have the same charcoal-black skin Vulkan has and his burning red eyes, and most definitely will have his strength and height. For someone who was so hard to be brought into the world, they are incredibly healthy and have high tolerance for diseases. But they have a mind of a mortal, probably too socially awkward and anxious to be recognised as Vulkan’s child. But they are the most loved of them all.

17. Corvus Corax. The most likely one to end up with a serf or even a slave, freed by him from her duties. Perfect case is if they rebelled and won. Or they lost, and Corvus had to save them. He just needs to be the knight in stealthy armor on his black Stormeagle.

It would probably be the easiest pregnancy of all. But the delivery… is compensates. If Corax doesn’t use his Primarch powers to get the best of the best, the mother would die during the labour or afterwards.

The child is also close to average, even might be a little weaker than most of them. But they are the same height as Corax and have his abilities in stealth. And, also, his sly black eyes. Would probably end up with his personality too, but it’s not genetic, it’s just that he’s their father.

18. Alpharius and Omegon. It would be polyamory, and they both need a woman who is a trickster. Another running nail, probably Roboute’s wife’s best friend.

Let’s be realistic here and not imagine poor reader bearing the twins, one of those is Alpharius’ and the other is Omegon’s. It probably wouldn’t matter to them who’s child is the first, but there will be two of them at the very least. The pregnancy is probably peaceful and unnoticeable until it isn’t. The labour is rather quick and easy, the easiest of them all probably (if we are not taking Ferrus in account).

The information about the children was edited by inquisitor. And it explains all of it.

Goddamnit, five word pages of rant. I’m so sorry.

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