#shoutout to my english teacher at the time though

[yourlocalegotisticalqueerishere]

I see you have strong opinions on Macbeth... Care to share with the class?

Okay I don't have hugely strong opinions on Macbeth, I do however think it's a good play and I studied it for my GCSEs

Also apparently (don't quote me on this) Macbeth was a decent king and the guy who overthrew him was shit at being king. Or maybe that was the guy before him. Idk.

I think that lady Macbeth is a very interesting character, and the play has interesting themes, and Macbeth is a very interesting character

I also think that the context surrounding the okay with regards to King James 1st and 6th, witchcraft, and the whole thing with him being related to banquo

[gods-favorite-autistic]

God people who use ai for research are like so weird to me mainly because I loveee researching and fact checking and looking up stuff and learning more about the topic and getting context and it’s like. Why are you just asking ChatGPT this.

[oddballwriter]

Moon Boys as Subject Teachers

Warnings: None that I know of 

Author’s Snip: This was inspired by @ominoose's post for Oscar Issac characters as school subjects teachers so shoutout to them for the inspo.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Steven Grant - History & English/Literature

A bit of an obvious choice but there's a reason

Steven 100% is a favorite amongst the students

He actually makes learning history and reading fun for them because he talks so enthusiastically about everything in each unit and finds ways to let the kids engage in what's happening

He tries his best to personalize the lessons with either making a worksheet for it to help the kids take in the knowledge or make a slide show for demonstration and visualizing what's being said

His slideshows are actually very iconic because he makes sure they look nice so that the kids will pay attention to them. He has an occasional outdated meme but you know what he's trying and the kids know that

Steven's classroom is also very decorated with both posters that he bought or ones made by students (matter of fact poster making is an extra credit thing if you need it)

He's very attentive to his students and believes that it's crucial for teaching. If a student is struggling then he gladly helps them and works on finding a way to help them learn the lessons in their own way, and if they need to spend some time after school then he'd be happy to stay and see what they need

Steven hates having to be strict and disciplinary but if he needs to then he will.

If a kid misses an assignment's deadline it's okay as long as they give him a heads-up and they turn it in before a unit is done or something. But if someone is actively not doing their homework or assigned work then he will have a talk with them and give them detention if need be and make them do that work

As for troublemakers who disrupt the class he does the whole politely telling them to quiet down or stop, to telling them more sternly, to standing outside till he tells them to come back in, and then the final strike is sending them to the office

On a lighter note, Steven is definitely the kind of teacher to let students eat in his classroom during lunch as long as they don't make a mess and clean after themselves and actually uses that to get to know the kids outside of the lessons

I firmly believe that Steven has talked to the school about creating a book club of some kind so that kids can be in an environment that treats reading as an activity you can do rather than something you NEED to do and sort of does the same with his literature and english students

For example, my senior year English teacher had us do fifteen minute reading time at the beginning of class each day with a book we checked out at the library. I feel like he'd do something like that

But anyway, yeah, he's definitely petitioned to have a book club or some other club similar to that

Marc Spector - Math

I actually see him being more of a student counselor but I just get this weird sense that if I had to pick a subject that he would teach then I'd say math like algebra, calculus, and geometry, for some reason

I don't know he just seems like he's good at math and would be fine with teaching it

His class, despite being a math class, isn't so bad.

Marc's one of those chill teachers who teaches what he needs to and lets the students do their own thing so long as it's not causing any trouble

The first half of class is him teaching the students a new formula, how to do it, how it applies to the world and stuff and then he writes some equations on the board for the students to solve on their own on a piece of paper that they give to him at the end of class just to confirm that they were listening

He's not an easy A exactly. He is when you actually try and listen though

Marc hardly has rules to be honest, they're basic as hell. His class rules are just "Pay attention, do your classwork and homework, yes you are allowed to use a calculator if you need/want to, yes they are allowed on tests, show your work on the sheet or a piece of paper as long as you write your name on it and staple it to the worksheet, don't cheat on your tests, and don't disrupt the class"

He's also very lenient on things. You can listen to music while you work so long as he isn't actively teaching. You can chew gum so long as you aren't chewing or blowing it loudly and sticking it on the desks. You can freely talk to your friends and classmates as long as you aren't bugging them, being loud, or doing it while he is teaching.

Due to the free talking he knows all the gossip around school simply because the kids will be talking about it while they work

He says he doesn't care/isn't into gossip but he secretly moves the kids who gossip toward his desk so that he can hear it while he works at his desk when he changes up the seating chart every once in a while

On top of that he gets to know his students because he will walk around the classroom to stretch his legs and will start small talk with the kids that sometimes leads to full conversations

Marc is very no-nonsense or slacking off though. If a kid is not doing their work then he tells them to start doing it or else they'll need to do it at home along with their homework if they don't get it done at the end of class. As for troublemakers, he just sends them out or to the office since he's learned that more want the attention

Jake Lockley - PE

I know a lot of people say that Jake would be a Spanish/foreign language teacher, and I can see that, but to me, this man gives off PE teacher energy (in a good way)

Jake is sort of the tough love kind of PE teacher that still makes the kids do the activities but he's not cruel

He also doesn't just stand there. If he can he will do the exercises with the kids so that they don't try and be a smart ass with him. He will run the mile with the kids but stays behind so that no one can walk it while he's not looking. It also helps boost the confidence of the kids who don't run as fast and fall behind by being there and praising them for keeping it going

"You're going great. It's about being active not pushing yourself."

If a student feels sick or is on their period and having cramps he'll ask how bad it is and depending on how severe it is he'll let them sit out on that day if it's bad or walk a few laps around the track if they can. "Just as long as you're doing something, okay?"

He's not an idiot though. If they use the sick or period card too many times and it doesn't add up then he calls them out and tells them to do the activity

"Matter of fact, do double because you think I'm stupid."

Jake also isn't oblivious to the fact that he's "the hot teacher" that the female teachers and students blush and giggle at. Of course, he doesn't do anything about either because it's unprofessional and one is a literal crime

But he's not dumb. He knows that some teachers check him out while he's running and exercising with the kids outside

Jake is a part of after-school/extracurricular programs too.

He's definitely a coach for one of the school's sports teams, he finds it to be a great way to give kids something to do after school instead of running around and possibly causing trouble. Jake also likes seeing the kids who've got something going for them and encourages them to do something with it

He also loves seeing all the other clubs and extracurriculars too and is so supportive.

Cheer and dance team going to a competition? Knock 'em dead!

Theatre doing a production? He's buying a ticket and encourages his students and players to go if they can.

Speech and Debate off to a tournament? The other schools have no idea what's coming.

He's sending his love to all of them

Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction (I forgot to add this, also my applications are open just ask lol)

[breitzbachbea]

Could you answer ALL the questions for pady

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ABOUT PADDY, I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO GET TO KNOW MY FUCKED UP OLD MIDDLE AGED MAN.

Ask Game for someone's OCs

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Babyname website, ten most popular boys names in Ireland all time. I don’t know if I picked his surname from a similar/the same site, but I must assume so. Et voilà – Patrick “Paddy” O’Neill!

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

Born on the 2nd of May 1965 in canon. He’s 48 in Irish Problems, the first story in the mainseries, which is usually the age range he also appears in in most AUs.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Ohhh, does he ever! My man used to be quite the charmer in his youth! Not really putting the love in love interest, but he had a ONS with Daisy Grey, the mother of Shane Grey, who’s part of Charlie’s gay social circle after he left school. He’s also had a few flings with Þóra, @swabianmapley’s lovely OC and one of the Icelandic subordinates. The list could go on - Ben didn't call him a louser for nothing!

But the woman he ends up dating (if I'll get this far in the main story and stick to it) is Donella Ramsay. She's a middle school physics and english teacher from Glasgow he met on a bender in Dublin, where she has relatives. It's ... an odd match, but it works out for both of them.

Shoutout to his childhood/teenhood friends Kilian MacLeod and Angus O'Malley though! I don't ship them in canon, but I love a good AU with Kilick, Padus or a Derry Trio OT3. Welcome to the worst Polycule this side of the Foyle, maybe in the entire North West.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

Honestly, I think nothing would top a good full Irish breakfast roll for this man. Something as big as his entire hand, stuffed with eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms ... only acceptable way to start the day.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Be a menace to society! No literally, he's in the mob. Right hand to Harry O'Connel, the biggest shark in the Irish tank. Aaron O'Connel, Harry's father, was who picked Paddy off the Dublin streets and offered him to work for him. Ain't much of a living with the guilt his job produces but well, someone's got to protect the kids now and make their life cushy.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

He plays the guitar! His father taught him. He also branched into other string instruments and is pretty good at the Banjo. His fiddling is good enough for government work. Needless to say, not only does he play, he also sings.

🎯 -What do they do best?

Being a calm mediator, to be honest. Everyone else always looks to him, due to his experience and Paddy's here to get shit done. Doesn't mean he's always calm or hides his emotions particularly well, but he's determined like no other and very good at both executing orders and giving orders. He's so splendid at being a father to be honest, it's a shame he never had any kids on his own, but doesn't matter - he loves Harry, Soph and Charlie to bits. Adopts every lost kid in need of a dad he can find, giving as much love as his big body can store.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Loves to be a bastard with his children, a carefree ne'er-do-well, hates that to live that life he routinely makes it worse for a hundred other families who're just struggling to get by. Paddy is filled to the brim with guilt, believes God no longer listens to him and that there's no redemption for a man like him.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Night out in the pub with friends in Derry; Kilian, Angus, a few others - and the daughter of the Orangeman who's none the wiser that his daughter is hanging with at least one Catholic and Rotten Prods and getting shifted by the latter.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Hearing about Kilian's death after the funeral already happened. Kilian's older brother Keith didn't want him there.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

It is! I rarely change designs, mostly because the hugest chunk of my characters exist solely as personality and a vague idea of a physical appearance for months, if not years. Paddy had his design pretty quickly because I had to describe him, but I love it anyways. Especially the fact that he's 2 m tall and built like a brickwall.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

I needed a right hand man for my mafia story and I knew vaguely that there's Protestants in Northern Ireland. That's it and as I learnt more and more about the actual situation and nuances of Irish history and identity, it just has made Paddy more and more interesting.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Born to be in a romantic comedy or a GOOFY heist movie, forced to be in Angela's Ashes meets The Godfather.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Cishetero man as they come, though I make exceptions in AUs for Derry Trio OT3 shenanigans babyyyy. To be fair, too, he's moved in overwhelmingly queer circles due to the job and the kids in the past years that he's not at all fazed by the myriad of gender expressions and sexualities this world got to offer.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

None! However, he has/had a cousing called Caoimhe, who he loved so dearly, pretty much like an older sister. However, after his aunt/her mother died in a bombing, the family moved away and he never heard from her again.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Very good! Both of his parents died in the 80s, sadly, but he loved them very much and they did him. They also were both rather old parents (William O'Neill was born 1917, Davian O'Neill in the early 1920s), so it's sad they died so young regardless, but not out of the clear blue sky. As I said, his father taught him how to play guitar and Davina also always looked out for her son. Paddy wouldn't have left Derry if one of his parents were still alive.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

THE GHOOOOSTS, Paddy is so fucking haunted! He has lived three lives and to not lose the third one, he is willing to dig himself and everyone a grave without a bottom. Willing to do and encourage the worst things out of a deep, deep sense of love. He lost his cousin, his parents, Angus moved to London and then a bomb wrecked his and Kili's flat, so he walked out of town, left Kilian behind who died in the mid 2000s in a car crash. He got taken in by Aaron, traded his morals for a new family and helped raise Aaron's kids. Then Freya, Aaron's wife, dies in childbirth, Aaron's other right hand Ben gets shot in 2006 and Aaron accidentally poisoned in 2009. Once again, Paddy is the last man standing. So if anything happened to Harry, his sister Sophie or Harry's best friend Charlie, he'd kill everyone and then himself. No hyperbole. His actions in Irish Problems underscore that.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Pretty much any time I work on the mainseries. He isn't in every AU and I also write a lot of one-shots/other fanfics about entirely different corners of the world that have nothing to do with him, but Paddy never strays far from my mind. Since I've been rewriting Irish Problems since 2022, rarely a month went by without writing about him.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

I've toyed with the idea of killing Paddy a lot, because he'd be potent drama. But at the end of the day, I could never go through with it because it breaks my own heart far too much.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Don't think he likes anything about bombs, but that's less of a phobia and more ... being traumatized by a civil war. He's got over his dislike of guns for the same reason, but still loathes most big guns and will not use anything automatic unless you held the man himself at gunpoint.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Ben was always the man to pick fights and hold grudges, so Paddy doesn't really have any personal nemesis or rivals. Team England can be counted as such, simply because they're Team Ireland's biggest antagonists, but he has no particular bone to pick with Arthur (unlike Harry), Robert (unlike Charlie) or Tahir.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Since 2013! "Like Father Like Son", how the entire story universe is called, was a Hetalia AU I created for an art trade. I needed human OCs for the story and that is how he came about.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

14. Insane shit.

Here's a drawing of him done by @pyromaniacqueen!

[dorianbrightmusic]

hyperfixations and SpIns (since i stuffed this up in past)

note: i'm using the specific term 'autistics and adhders', rather than 'neurodivergent folks', since neurodiversity is broader than just au/dhd. i cannot be said to be speaking on behalf of all neurodivergent people, let alone all autistic/adhd folks.

i made a rather short-sighted post a couple of years back on what hyperfixations, special interests, and hyperfocus are. this post was poorly considered on two levels:

it assumed that all hyperfixations and SpIns were fandom-related or academics-adjacent, which is, frankly, just horrible as an assumption, since it does paint a very narrow 'ah, the LSN autistics are being quirky' portrait of autism and adhd

it was generally prescriptivist and not always well-considered

so, here's a short, revised version as a primer. disclaimer: i have LSN autism (and possibly adhd), so cannot speak on behalf of the entire autistic/adhd community.

autistics and adhders tend to be able to direct their attention to a particular object, topic, person, or entity with greater intensity than allistic non-adhders. if this attention is relatively transient, it's known as a hyperfixation; if it's sustained for a significant period, it's known as a special interest (or SpIn for short). some SpIns may begin as hyperfixations, or may drift in and out of focus. you can have several SpIns at once, and this does not make them any less real. you can also have hyperfixations and SpIns at the same time, or hyperfixate on topics that a special interest otherwise never goes towards.

there's no agreed-upon cutoff time for when a hyperfixation becomes a SpIn. i know that personally, i get a distinct buzz that happens when i'm hyperfixating, but that it's more difficult to tell when i've developed a SpIn except in retrospect. most of my fandom-related SpIns have involved a buzz; topic ones, less so, but that might differ for other people.

typically, adhd hyperfixations don't necessarily circumscribe one's range of interests otherwise, as far as i know, while special interests are narrow by definition. one might hyperfixate on a topic, but otherwise have a broad range of interests. or, one might have a deep, deep love of a particular object, but show little interest elsewhere – that's a SpIn, most likely.

i don't know if other disorders can involve SpIns and hyperfixations (BPDers, i'm especially curious as to whether any of you experience hyperfixations of a kind – feel free to chip in with your experiences here), and very, very occasionally, i've met allistic, non-adhd folks who have had intense, intense SpIns (shoutout to my allistic highschool English teacher, who has an immense special interest in Princess Diana). however, these experiences are usually linked to adhd and autism. by default: ADHD alone does not involve SpIns, though hyperfocus might grant a similar impression. i don't know whether it's typical for autists to have hyperfixations as well as special interests, so i'm going to leave you to go read further on that one.

hyperfocus, by contrast, is a state of deep, sustained focus on a task. generally: if you are verbing and extremely invested, it's hyperfocus, while if you are extremely invested in noun/noun category/verb-as-noun (topic), it's probably a SpIn or hyperfixation. hyperfocus is a state/action. time seems to disappear. it's not chosen voluntarily, and can feel paralytic. it's wonderful sometimes, and at other times, awful. it's common to autism and adhd, and is similar to, but not quite the same as, the flow state that all people can experience. flow generally arises as a combination of being comfortably stretched and having the capacity to meet said challenge. hyperfocus just spurts up, geyser-like, at unexpected times, and derails one's plans for the afternoon. it inherently involves time blindness, so i'm curious as to whether other allistic/non-adhd neurodivergents can experience it.

some people use hyperfixation as a synonym for hyperfocus, which is perfectly fine. however, if you're new to the terms, see above for the distinction.

having hyperfixations and SpIns does not preclude the ability to have less intense interests. hyperfixations or SpIns may become general interests over time, and vice versa; or, hyperfixations or SpIns might cluster in the area of a broader interest. most people experience hyperfixations, hyperfocus, and SpIns differently – and that is completely fine. not all autistics and adhders have hyperfixations, hyperfocus, and SpIns – that is also fine. please read beyond this post if you want to know more, since, again, this is based heavily on my own experience, and thus cannot represent how many others may experience the same phenomenon.

[ataraxiaspainting]

Snowflake and bone?

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

oh shit... i feel like i'm being put on the spot lmao. honestly anything with yan chrollo i will eat up. my expectations are nonexistent for everything, including fanfiction. maybe @after-witch or @ddarker-dreams? but i feel like most yan chrollo writers are like experts in their craft...

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

a lot of shows/books/movies in general!

-> shows

monster - one of my favorite things ever. seriously. it's so good! the psychological horror of johan, the push and pull of tenma's morality based on what to do in the situation at hand... i love it all! an absolute masterpiece!

breaking bad - what hasn't been said about it already? it's just that good (and meme worthy also). definitely recommend!

hannibal - ah yes. horror shows with queer themes, my beloved. as someone who's going into work related to criminology, i really enjoyed this one a lot! hannibal was especially interesting, though i love the original silence of the lambs too!

-> books

the collector by john fowles - i actually discovered this book in middle school! i loved it a whole bunch, and my english teachers could never stop me from reading it when they were speaking. shoutout to all my fellow quiet kids who got the "most books read" award in school.

tomie by junji ito - this is actually one of the main things that inspired me to write hier encore! femme fatales always get me. i love my morally grey queens. seeing people just wrapped around their fingers is both interesting and horrific to watch.

the stranger by albert camus - i read this in my final year of high school and now once again during summer break! i just love camus' writing style so much and i love how the main character is so apathetic to the point he doesn't care about himself much. i also really like the religious themes that can come into play, as well as potential neurodiversity.

-> movies

midsommar - another thing dear in my heart. my older sister watched it with me along with my mom, but they were too scared by the gore to they just covered their eyes for like 30% of the movie lmao. not me though, unfortunately. i am still scarred, but the cult/indoctrination themes made it so interesting it's like i didn't have ADHD. i was a neurotypical for like two hours.

sailor moon s: the movie - hearts in ice - i love love loved this movie as a kid. i watched it on repeat along with the lion king movies. i really enjoyed the character development luna went through as she learned the necessity of letting go of people who don't necessarily need you in the way you think they need you.

knives out - this one i also watched with my mom and older sister! they liked this one much more too. i love ransom but also despise him at the same time. i haven't watched glass onion yet but i'm sure it's just as good based on what i have heard! thrillers are the key to my soul.

[stormblessed95]

I'm the taekooker who adores Jimin, and as you said, the problem is that we don't call out people in our ship who are toxic and say shit about Jimin and often make untrue, false, sometimes downright abhorrent comments about Jimin and Jungkook's relation and/or Jimin and V's friendship.

Now for me personally, I don't follow or interact with these people, simply because they are not nice people. And if I see these comments on Twitter or even here, I block and ignore them. Because, from previous experience, what I find is they drive me crazy if I try to interact rationally with them. Because fundamentally, shipping is not about downgrading someone, or anyone else. So for my sanity, I try to avoid these accounts and conversations. But, this being said, I have also found accounts that are like me, (given most of them ship yoonmin, which is fine to me). However, they don't degrade Jimin or his personality, or his relations with any of the OT7 members. (Also side note: NOT all yoonmin shippers are taekookers. Yoonmin so far from what I've seen is possibly the calmest and most peaceful ship in BTS made up of mostly nice people.)

I get that you can't trust shippers especially tkk ( or as I read from some of the previous posts some of them even jkkers) because of their history of distorting stuff and saying nasty things about Jimin /or Tae respectively. But I feel what want to say is that we are here who love Jimin and we ship Taehyung and Jungkook. And shipping is also not equal to fetishizing. It's not. Shipping by definition is about enjoying the chemistry, and camaraderie and potentially hoping for a romantic relationship between fictional and non-fictional people. It is (at least for me) a very benign, enjoyable activity that I do in my free-time that helps me destress. And accounts that I follow are usually writers (who are actually English teachers LMAO) who write exceptional stories entirely for free that bring me immense joy. So shoutout to all the amazing fanfic writers, you guys saved me from depression!!!

Also, I agree BTS ships, especially tkk (and jkk, I guess ), have over time become more and more aggressive, full of toxicity, and have pushed us out who want a calmer, less venomous environment. Saying something rational, or pointing out hypocrisy is now labeled as me not being a true shipper. Like I gotta do prove something to them!! So childish really! However, (and I'm treading into dangerous territory here) I feel this also has something to do with coveting Jungkook. Like, Jungkook seems to be the sole pinnacle of want and focus for both tkkers and jkkers and not actually Tae or Jimin, and I don't know if this is a projection or something, but this is simply the vibe that I get.

So yes trusting shippers especially tkkers is a coin toss, and more often than not, you're probably gonna get burned either way. But just letting your blog followers know there ARE nice tkk shippers out there who maintain healthy boundaries, who love Jimin unequivocally, and even follow primarily a jikook focused vlog!

Have a nice one Stormi🌟

You do you anon. And if you are actually disengaging from most of the tkkr shipping fandom or otherwise calling out the toxicity. I applaud you for it. Though that should be the bare minimum. 😅 and if you are following me, then I am more likely to believe you that you love Jimin. Because Jimin love and the members loving on Jimin is all over this blog 🤣 as long as you aren't just following me to send in dramatized asks, which I'm sure some people here are too. 😅 I've had my fair share of toxic engagement and need to report yoonminners as well. So like I've said before, every ship has its bad apples. I've stumbled across some really toxic and weird namjin shippers. Lol but I'm willing to engage kindly with anyone who can do the same to me. I match energy here more often than not. And I've got posts up plently on my masterlist over my thoughts over shipping if yall wanted those.

Hope you have a good day too. Genuinely. 💜 I'm not talking about tkkrs anymore after this yall. I'm moving on. I've got one more ask that sort of relates to tkkrs but not. It's more of a "help me piece together this timeline that tkkrs and other shippers were talking about" ask. I'll get to that one soon, but otherwise, I'm moving onto topics that are more fun. 🥰

[hpe24]

Oh wow I haven’t posted for almost a month, didn’t I I’m still alive and am (unsurprisingly) raving over Pokemon, though my wuxia novel obsession these days is making me draw as much fanart of them as I did with Riley and co.😓 Ofc I’m not stopping from drawing Pokemon fanart - there’s another Pokemon fan convention coming next year in Korea anyway and that means it’s time to start spitting out new Riley content if I succeed in grabbing a booth😔 All in all, yeah shoutout to my best blue man for his 3rd anniversary of getting neglected by Masters whooooooooooooo

also Return of the Blossoming Blade and Best Teacher Baek are so good their webtoon adaptations both got official English translations and these main protag men are the ones to blame for taking over my art tablet ugghghgghgghghh

[flowerxar]

questions from kam (they didn't make them but they are from her)

1. are you named after anyone?

no, mine and my siblings' names are unique on purpose :] i think my parents were smart for that

2. when was the last time you cried?

my memory is very bad but. if i'm right. the friday before last. i've gotten close after that though

3. do you have kids?

in my heart <3 (i am deeply emotionally attached to the fictional characters i create)

4. apparently there isn't a number 4. i wonder where this one got lost.

5. what sports do you play/have played?

aha. ahahaha. ha. i suck at sports and i am bad at them. i was in ballet when i was like 5 years old and i was put into a gymnastics class when i was? maybe 6 or 7? i didn't like it very much because having to stretch to reach my toes hurt. like a lot.

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

probably hair. hair can tell a lot about a person. whether it's dyed, short, long, styled, messy, whatever. after that it's probably clothes

7. what's your eye color?

dark brown (the best one)

8. scary movies or happy endings?

scary movies AND happy endings. and scary movies with happy endings.

9. any special talents?

hmmmm i'm pretty funny. and oh i can be really really good at memorization when i want to be. also i'm double jointed which isn't really a talent but it wows people all the same

10. where were you born?

i almost answered this with the exact hospital name before i remembered to not do that. anyway. southern united states.

11. what are your hobbies?

creating fictional worlds inside my head and sharing and building upon them with my friends. mostly any other hobby i have ties into this directly like video games or writing.

12. do you have pets?

three!! one dog named chewy he's very sweet but he's got a skin condition :[ a black cat with one eye named lucifer who screams when you pick him up lr occasionally when you walk past him despite the fact he walks up to us and demands attention. and one calico cat named maui who is an absolute drama queen but she is very soft.

13. how tall are you?

technically i am 5'6 but i am only 5'6 when i manage to stand up straight (DIFFICULT) maybe i could even be 5'7 if my spine was fully straightened out like it's supposed to be.

14. favorite subject in school?

it's always been english :] english teachers liked me. but special shoutout to the piano class i took in 11th grade that rocked and now i have a piano

15. dream job?

author!! creative fictional writing. too bad the process of getting a book edited and published sounds like it would kill me.

um and then i think kam tagged pretty much everyone i know so i'm tagging crow @obsyddiansays and iced @icedtoastt again

[reviiely]

FIC WRITING REVIEW 2023

Thanks for the shoutout and tag @gammacousin

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either. (Copied and pasted)

Words and Fics

Word Count:

115,039

Fic Count:

7 started and published, 1 continued from 2022, 1 written but not published.

The MCU Rewrite Series

The Philindaisy Playlist Series

Most productive month:

November based on fics published and word count

Top Five by Hits

The Ultimate Fix-It Fic - 2,033

You're On Your Own, Kid - 859

Here Comes The Sun - 623

The Second In-Between - 587

Somewhere Only We Know - 272

Top Five by Kudos

The Ultimate Fix-It Fic - 42

Here Comes The Sun - 31

You're On Your Own, Kid - 20

Somewhere Only We Know - 17

The Second In-Between - 15

Fandom events:

None?

Upcoming Plans:

To Publish:

How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You (AOS// Philindaisy) and conceptual series with that

Other Ideas:

None, brain empty

Reflection

This year, I worked on a lot of stuff by maintaining a regular habit of spewing garbage out by quantity and not quality, and went over to the AOS boat since I missed feeling sad over fictional characters who die many, many times.

I want to say that I'm proudest of the weekend I wrote all of Somewhere Only We Know because I wrote the entire fic of 15k+ words in less than four days, but I like the fluffiness of I Will because usually I end the story with people dying and instead they got engaged and I'm happy about that.

I'm glad I got the chance to work on a project per month because my writing has improved drastically from when I first started out writing (at 11, Drarry 💀 with zero paragraph breaks) and actually publishing things (at 12, OC/Draco [kill me now] and sprinkles of Brutasha) to now, where my English teachers actually compliment my writing style and how I format and proofread even though I don't ever proofread. I hope I can actually channel all of this fic writing to write a novel this year.

Thanks for the reads and the tag, and sorry I'm late to the party; happy belated New Year, y'all!

@bubbletealife if you feel like it go ahead but I know you don’t write too much

[critical-chris]

The Whale (2022)

“Who would want me to be part of their life?”

-             -             -             -

If you asked me in 2021, before I knew this movie was being made, I would have told you I was a Brendan Fraser fan.  I had multiple movies he starred in on repeat as a kid, including the Mummy, obviously, and (borderline ashamed to admit it) Looney Tunes: Back in Action.  I figured he retired or was forgotten by Hollywood for several years due to his lackluster films in the late 2000s and early 2010s, but when I looked back at his filmography the only real stinker I noticed was The Mummy 3: The One Where They Go To China.

The most recent film I remembered him from was No Sudden Move released in 2021 on HBO MAX where Steven Soderbergh thought shooting an entire movie with a fisheye lens was a good idea.  That film was exceptionally average, although I love Benicio Del Toro and seeing Brendan Fraser, albeit huskier than in my childhood, was a pleasant surprise.

When this movie was announced, and specifically Fraser’s role in it, I could not have been more excited.  I had just watched Black Swan and The Wrestler for the first time, fantastic and unique films, and was eager to see the next Darren Aronofsky project.  When the title The Whale was announced, I thought there had to be some boating plotline or some shit, and assumed there had to be some deeper meaning to the title other than Fraser’s character’s weight.  And good lord in New Life heaven when the final minutes unfolded, and the title took on its full meaning, I had to bury my face into my jacket to avoid sobbing out loud in a half-full theater. 

The Whale is about Charlie, a morbidly obese, reclusive online English teacher confined to his apartment not only by his extreme weight, but a clear feeling of grief and shame.  He is suffering from an almost certain terminal heart issue and is assisted by his seemingly years-long friend and nurse Liz, a heartbreaking but honest portrayal by Hong Chau.  The polarity of her tragic struggle later revealed is captured by her performance impeccably throughout.  Facing the inevitability of his habits, Charlie attempts to reconnect with his daughter he has not seen in nine years. 

I’d rather leave the plot description there to allow anyone reading this review the opportunity I had, walking into this movie near blind to the plot and themes.  Every character is absolutely necessary since there are only a handful in the entire film. Even the minor subplot of the daughter and missionary’s conversation, which during the movie I thought was unnecessary, ends up tying together so nicely at the end that it was worth the speedbump to Fraser’s struggle.  If you have not seen this movie, I strongly urge you to do so before reading the rest of this review, even though I avoided spoilers except where marked.

The fact the entire movie occurs in Brendan Fraser’s apartment, except for two seconds-long flashback scenes to a beach, and can drive the plot at a great pace speaks to Darren Aronofsky’s skill as a director. He is quickly rising up the ranks of my favorite directors with now three classics in my mind (Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan being the others, with a special shoutout to The Wrestler).

I do apologize for the somber and genuine review with few jokes to keep you reading this long, but this was a movie that taps into your raw emotions and left me with little to joke about. I had to hold back from crying even more when thinking about the film in my car after leaving the theater.  See this movie, in a theater if you can. I think every movie should be seen in a theater ideally (except Amsterdam, you can watch that bullshit on an iPOD Mini) and this is no exception.

One random guy walking out in front of me said, “That was fucking exceptional,” and I couldn’t agree more.  Emotionally gutting. This is now battling it out with Black Swan for my favorite Darren Aronofsky film.

In closing, this is the best movie I’ve seen all year. Brendan Fraser HOLY FUCK take all the awards.

The Whale - 9/10

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Okay, I can do my emotional dump here with the list of everything I cried at that I remember:

When he forces the missionary kid into telling him he finds him disgusting, welled up

When Brendan Fraser says “Who would want me to be part of their life?”, bawled

When Fraser tells his ex-wife he just wants to do one good thing before he dies, , accepting his responsibility in leaving the family, her, and his daughter- sobbed

Literally the last 30 minutes, wailed crying into my sleeve

When they reveal the writing he’s been reciting all movie as his only source of calm and happiness is from his daughter, it was like fire hydrants had been popped at the corners of my eyes. That shit devastated me

[andyinmiddleearth]

One of my friends in my small red town high school was literally the second one. She was so “supportive” until I talked about medically transitioning, and she basically said what person #2 said, and that broke me. Later I found out she was a Trump supporter and had never told me😭

Same goes for a girl I had a crush on that pretended to be okay with my transness but was secretly a pro-life antisemitic Trump supporter and I didn’t find out until years later when one of my actual friends told me. Also broke me. You pretending to be an ally ain’t very girlboss of you.

I also had a white cishet man that was like “just because we disagree on politics doesn’t mean we can’t be friends 🤪🥺” like no, sir, I can’t be friends because you disagree with my very existence and vote for people that are oppressing me and committing genocide against my community.

Similarly, I had a dick in high school trying to “politely” cisplain to me why it’s okay for trans people to be banned from the military because we are “mentally ill and the military could be dangerous for us 🥹” like yeah no shit, welcome to the military industrial complex that YOU signed up for too, but I can’t. Also being trans isn’t a mental illness. It’s people like that that vex me the most.

Also, shoutout to the girl who broke my heart by completely ghosting me and never talking to me again after she found out I gave her an anonymous rose for Valentine’s Day. She lived in an even smaller red rural city so uh. Kaylee if you’re out there, I was in love with you and you didn’t even properly reject me, just. Stopped hanging out with me and that hurt. So much. I deserved an explanation at the very least. I would have understood if you didn’t wanna date me.

You know who were some of the best allies at that same place though? The girl that tried her hardest to use my pronouns, even though she once called me “biologically a girl” when talking about FAFSA.

It was my super progressive dual credit English teacher, who was a DOCTOR btw, who would sometimes call me “Miss *chosen name*” and then apologize for her mistake.

One of my closest friends, who to this day sometimes accidentally calls me ma’am, and corrects herself, and also said I listen to “lesbian music” one time (tbh she wasn’t 100% wrong).

My economics teacher who would mess up my pronouns over and over again, but kept trying anyways, showed up to my top 10% honors dinner and took pictures with me in a suit and tie, and defended my transness when my parents were being transphobic towards me.

My school nurse and principal, who offered for me to use the women’s nurse bathrooms because that was the only option available for me. And my principal also defended me and was quite “aggressive” according to my mom cause she refused to let my parents be transphobic towards me.

My Latina Spanish teachers, who did their best even though our language as Latines (I’m Mexican btw) is extremely gendered and were always so sweet to me. I don’t like being called “mija,” but it’s the affection that was there that matters.

It was my classmate who called me a queen when I offered her muffins but then was like “oops my bad, sorry king,” who restored my faith in Gen Z.

The white lady that took my senior picture, who offered me the fem outfit and when I told her I wanted to wear a suit she went “I can respect that, that’s valid” and gave me what I wanted to wear.

My two cis Black gay male friends, who would say stuff to me like “no ma’aaaaam” but later eventually caught on and then they were like “no sirrrrr…”

My biology Muslim teacher whose name I don’t remember (he wasn’t teaching for too long because he kept getting made fun of for his SWANA accent unfortunately, and that got to him) who would try his best to call me by my name even though he would use the wrong pronouns.

And my physics teacher, who let two of my classmates and I start my school’s first LGBTQIA+ club when no other teacher would (not even the only openly gay teacher) and put up with our weekly meetings and never outed anyone. He would say funky things like “do any of you girls think you might be homosexuals?” (I wasn’t out as trans then) He would also talk about how he thought it was cool that a type of fungi has thousands of sexes and would just. Vibe with us the way a sweet millennial ally uncle would. I think later he ran over a deer and a cop cause I think he was on drugs since he didn’t look too hot the last day I saw him in class, but anyways shoutout to him. I did not learn a single thing about physics in his class but I did learn how to catch crickets to feed a lizard.

People aren’t perfect, but I would much rather educate person #1 than person #2. And I say this as a queer transmasc nonbinary person that has been out for years.

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

[strawbeb]

“teachers work incredibly hard and yet they’re still underpaid and undervalued” and “teachers should never belittle, bully or target vulnerable students because it’s messed up and students are already under so much stress, you never know what their breaking point might be but it sure as hell does not help when a 34 year old decides they have a vendetta against a 15 year old for no apparent reason” are two opinions that can and should coexist

[beefybuckrrito]

Study Session

Eddie asks you to help him study.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader (any race)

Word count: 4.8k (I got a little carried away oopsie)

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, reader is 18+, pet names (princess), bit o nipple play, biting (not too hard), fingering, handjob, unprotected p in v sex, a little of my D&D dorkiness sneaking out hehe

Author’s note: It took the beautiful doe-eyed soft fluffy boy making my heart explode to kick my ass back into writing! And thanks to him I already have another Eddie fic halfway done wink wink. No spoilers for ST4! Biggest shoutout to my irl bestie @tincanfics for hyping me up and also @mjolnir-steve for beta-ing! I am in love with Eddie Munson and there is no cure. Please consider sharing and commenting if you enjoy this!

You maneuvered through the sea of bodies to slip into the back door of your English class, a slow breath easing out of your chest as you settled into your seat. This was it, your last year of high school. While people were already boasting about the colleges they would be applying to or their grand gap year plans, you were just relieved to be done. The school work came easy enough, it wasn’t hard to study when you didn’t have anyone to be hanging out with. Your family moving to Hawkins your junior year pulled you from your old friends and pushed you into a situation where everyone had found their cliques the years prior, so you spent your time studying or walking through the woods of the small town with your walkman fastened to your hip. 

The screech of chalk on the board pulled you from your thoughts and once you realized you hadn’t missed anything important, you scanned the room for who you would be seeing first period every day. Familiar faces seemed to surround you, until you looked straight across the room to someone sneaking in after the bell and into the softest brown eyes you had ever seen. You immediately dropped your head to hide your face, cheeks growing hot from catching the gaze of possibly the most beautiful person in existence. Sure, you had seen the fluffy-haired metalhead in the hallways or standing on the occasional table in the cafeteria, but this was different. He was looking back at you this time. Heart hammering against your ribcage, curiosity got the best of you as you flicked your eyes back in that direction, only to get caught again. This time, you waited long enough to gauge his reaction, and you could’ve passed out seeing the smirk that tugged at the corner of his mouth and two ringed fingers raising off the desk in greeting. Refusing to let your nerves win this time, you offered a small wave back before turning your attention to the teacher. 

It became routine for you to start your day with English class, offering a small smile and wave across the room at the boy you quickly learned was named Eddie, and he returned the gesture in kind. The more comfortable you got, the more often your gaze danced over his features as he tried to pay attention to the lesson. You liked how his fingers drummed on the desk when he was bored, the sunlight sometimes catching the chunky silver pieces just right. You wondered how they would feel on your skin. His fluffy curls swayed whenever he would lean back in his chair to stretch, and it took all of your willpower to not notice how his tee would ride up and you could see the pale skin of his belly. He would wrinkle his nose at lines he didn’t like or found particularly complex, and you just wanted to plant the smallest kiss right on the tip of it. Studying for school was a chore, but you could study Eddie Munson all day. Somehow, your notetaking didn’t falter, though you were sure it would when you caught yourself doodling the Hellfire Club logo that was on his shirt. 

Eddie thanked whatever merciful power sent him a reason to want to go to English class first period. Not that he was paying as much attention, but showing up everyday instead of skipping had to help keep him on the path to graduating for real this year, right? It was time he got it together and actually wrapped up his time at Hawkins High. Maybe the band could get more gigs if he and the guys had time to travel. He was just determined to be done this time around. What he thought was going to be the most painful part of his day immediately turned around when he caught the eye of the cutest girl he had ever seen on the first day of school.

It had been a few weeks of the little back and forth with Eddie. You would smile and silently greet each other every morning from across the room and steal glances when you thought the other wasn’t looking. Almost like a game, the two of you would try to take everything in about the other while still keeping a single thread of focus on the topic for the day. You were much more successful than Eddie when it came to this. The first pop quiz handed back stared up at him with an F. He frantically looked over to you and caught the A on the top of yours as you tucked it into your folder. If he needed a sign to approach you, this was it.

-

You had dropped your chemistry textbook into your locker and closed the door, only to find the shaggy haired beauty from your English class on the other side, causing you to yelp in surprise. 

“Sorry to scare you, princess!” Eddie briefly looked mortified as his cheeks tinged pink, then he took a breath and offered his hand out. “I’m Eddie.”

“O-oh, it’s okay. Sorry to scare you back.” You shyly smiled at the nickname and gently fit your hand into his as you gave him your name. “It’s nice to officially meet you.” You didn’t realize you were still holding his hand as you got lost peering into his round eyes again.

“Yeah, you too.” Eddie gently squeezed your hand again before reluctantly letting go. Why was it so easy to flirt with you across the room, but now right in front of you, he felt even dumber than his grades showed? “Listen, I was wondering..” He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment and broke your gaze to study the blank outside of your locker. “Would you maybe want to study together sometime? You look like you have a way better handle on O’Donnell’s class than I do. And it would be cool to hang out, you know?”

You held your breath as he spoke. While you were a little disappointed he wasn’t asking you out, you were also relieved at not having to muster up the courage to go on a proper date. Hanging out sounded good. 

“That sounds good. Yeah. I can help you out.” You nodded, desperately trying to keep your nerves at bay. “Hanging out would be cool, too.”

Eddie beamed at you, ecstatic at getting the chance to spend more time with you and hopefully getting his grades straightened out. “I have Hellfire tonight. How about tomorrow, my place? Just me and my uncle and he works nights, so it would be nice and quiet.”

“Sure, that sounds good.” You were staring at him again, lost in the lines around his smile that made him look extra endearing to you. The bell for next class brought your attention back. “I can meet you in the parking lot tomorrow after school.”

You couldn’t help yourself in dressing a little cuter the next day. You didn’t want to be obvious or anything, but a little more makeup and jeans with your favorite top gave you the confidence to go through your day and have you fighting to not skip your way to the parking lot after your last class.

“Hey, princess!” Eddie called to you from where he was leaning against his van, waving once he caught your eye. 

He chewed at his bottom lip, watching as you approached. You seemed even more chipper than usual. Were you as excited as he was for this? He wasn’t sure about that, though the thought made his heart race a little. You looked extra good today, from your bright smile all the way down to your jeans that hugged your thighs so nicely. He quickly snapped himself out of those thoughts and made his way over to the passenger side to open the door for you, dramatically bowing and gesturing for you to take a seat. “My lady, your chariot to the land of studying awaits.”

You giggled as you thanked him and climbed into the van. The ride to his place went by smoothly as he told you all about the current campaign he was running with Hellfire. The way he animatedly spoke and gestured with his hands as he drove was so engaging, his passion pulling you in more by the second. 

Eddie was thrilled to tell you everything about Dungeons and Dragons and the storyline he had crafted. No one ever asked him about the game, and he loved the way you were watching him as he spoke. You seemed genuinely interested in him, or at least what he was saying. He gradually quieted down as he pulled into the trailer park, suddenly nervous about what you would think about it.

“So, do you think they’ll be able to survive Vecna?” You seemed unphased at the surroundings as you collected your bag off the floor. “It sounds like you’re giving those kids a real run for their money.”

Eddie did a double take at you not casting a judgemental look toward the trailer. He rarely had anyone over, never mind a pretty girl who was smart and seemed to like talking to him. “We’ll have to see if their plan will work. It seems pretty risky, but I think they have a chance at pulling it off.” He hopped out of the driver’s side and dashed over to your door, making sure to open it with as much flourish as he did the first time before leading you to the front door. “It’s not much, but it’s home.” He mumbled as he ushered you into the living room. He fidgeted with his rings as he watched you take in your surroundings.

“I like the hat collection.” You warmly smiled at him, trying to calm the anxious expression on his face.

“Thanks. It’s a thing my uncle and I have been doing for years.” He shuffled his feet a little but perked up at your smile. “Wanna head to my room? I mean, to start studying.” His cheeks felt warm again as he gestured down the hall.

“Lead the way, kind sir.” You softly giggled as he was clearly caught off guard by your own nickname for him. Following him into the room at the back of the trailer, you were in awe of the space completely decked out in band posters, your eyes falling to a glossy black and red guitar hanging in the center of the wall. The air was warm and smelled of a heady combination of his cologne and the weed he was no doubt stashing somewhere. It suited him perfectly. 

“She’s a beaut, huh?” Eddie gently touched his fingers to the instrument. He was relieved you weren’t seemingly off put by anything and possibly intrigued by his interests. He was not used to this. 

“Can I hear you play sometime?” You turned to him, the hopeful expression on your face making his chest tighten. 

“I’m not really sure you’ll be into the stuff I play, princess.” He chuckled and gestured to the various metal band memorabilia around the room, “But you can if you really want.”

“I would like that very much.” You were buzzing with excitement. The prospect of getting to see him outside of school again putting an additional pep in your step. School. Right. You were supposed to be helping him with English, too. “So, did you want to get started on the homework?”

-

You read passionately as you lay across the foot of Eddie’s bed on your belly, casually rolling a few dice in your palm.

“Your hand, your tongue: look like the innocent flower,

But be the serpent under't. He that's coming

Must be provided for: and you shall put

This night's great business into my dispatch;

Which shall to all our nights and days to come

Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom”

Eddie watched you in awe, his eyes constantly flickering back and forth between the curves of your legs and the motion of your fingers caressing his game pieces. “You sure make a convincing murderous lady.” He grins at you as you roll on your side to face him. 

“I hope that doesn’t scare you away…” You took a risk and winked at him, taking great satisfaction in the surprised look on his face. Like in class, the two of you had taken to stealing glances while the other was busy reading, although this time you seemed to be catching each other constantly. You felt more comfortable the more you read back and forth.

To his credit, Eddie threw on a cheesy suave look and leaned toward you, plucking a d20 out of your hand. “Not at all, dearest partner of greatness.”

Your breath caught in your throat at the proximity, his weight shifting on the bed only moving you closer to him. So easily you reverted back to your favorite activity, studying Eddie Munson. His fluffy hair was tousled from rolling around the mattress as he dramatically read his lines, his big brown eyes looking even darker from the size of his pupils, he was an absolute sight to behold.  

Eddie could feel his ears burning beneath his curls from the way you looked at him, almost like you were in awe. He was used to people looking at him, but more like a performer at a freakshow or an animal in a cage. You looked at him like he was a work of art. It made him excited and nervous all at once. Did you really want him? His gaze dropped to your lips then quickly returned to your eyes, silently asking for permission.

A fresh wave of confidence soared through you as the usually boisterous metalhead softened right before your eyes, a look of almost pleading on his face the closer you became. You wanted to close the distance so badly, ever since you saw him on the first day of class, but you also enjoyed the little games you played together. You wanted him to feel in his element. “Roll for it.”

“What?” Eddie leaned back slightly, a brief look of confusion across his pretty face before you toyed with the die in his hand.

“You heard me, Mister Dungeon Master. Roll. To. Kiss. Me.” You leaned forward and softly bumped his nose with yours.

Eddie groaned, your words going right to his heart and crotch. “Damn, princess. Almost as ruthless as Lady Macbeth.” He carefully pushed your closed books together, giving him a flat surface to work with. He rolled the die around in his hand, praying to a god he didn’t believe in as he watched you bite your lip and smile at him. He slowly exhaled and released the die, watching as it bounced atop the books, the hollow sound ringing in his ears along with his heartbeat. 

The two of you held your breaths as the piece spun, trying so desperately to will a high number in your heads. Both wanting it so badly…

And he rolled a damn 10. 

Eddie went wide-eyed, a panicked look twisting his features as he frantically looked back and forth between you and the d20 that betrayed him. “I- Can, can I reroll? Please?”

“No.” Your voice was level, almost casual as you leaned forward to inspect the low roll further. “However, I’ll consider it a partial success. You can kiss me anywhere except on the lips.” You smirked at him, goosebumps spreading across your body as you watched his breathing pick up. 

Eddie was stunned. How was the cute, quiet girl that he borderline drooled over in class teasing him like this? He never wanted it to stop. “As you wish, my lady.” He gently cupped the back of your head and leaned in, his nose bumping yours again. The soft gasp that fell from your lips only spurred on his returned teasing as his fingers ghosted over your goosebumps. He ran the tip of his nose across your cheek, watching as your eyes fluttered closed. The hum you emitted as he pressed a chaste kiss to your cheekbone made the front of his jeans tighten. You made such pretty sounds, and he wasn’t anywhere near done hearing them. 

The way he teased you was already setting you on fire, his gentle touches and the softness of his lips on your skin driving you crazy. You slid a hand up his arm and pushed your fingers through his fluffy curls, needing to touch him in some way. You pulled back slightly, only to look at him and see a reflection of just how needy you were. “Eddie…” 

He moaned hearing you say his name and dipped his head down to start peppering your jaw and the side of your neck with more kisses. He slid his other arm beneath you and pulled you closer to him, cradling you in his arms. “Is this okay?”

“Yes, please.” You softly cooed into the crown of his head, inhaling the mouth-watering scent of his shampoo. You writhed under his touch, pressing your bodies closer together and tugging at the hair you still had in your grasp. The vibration of his next moan had you squeezing your thighs together. The tension lingering between you all evening and finally getting the touch you needed was everything.

Eddie kissed and licked down to your collarbone, trying to nudge his way under the neckline of your top. He released the gentle grip he had on the back of your neck and rested his hand on your hip, massaging your curves through your jeans as he slipped his thumb under your shirt to touch the soft skin of your belly. “You’re so pretty, princess.” The way your back arched beneath his touch gave him the confidence to slide his hand further up, gripping the flesh of your waist. 

“You can see more of me if you want.” You gasped, feeling his teeth nipping at your shoulder. “Please, Eddie. Can I see you, too?” Releasing his curls, you gently tugged at the bottom of his shirt. 

“Yes! Absolutely, yes.” Eddie was quick to sit up onto his knees and yank his shirt off over his head, tossing it somewhere across the room. He met your eyes briefly, momentarily speechless seeing how blown your pupils were, before he saw you hungrily take in his exposed torso. 

You sat up to match him and immediately dove in to cover his neck and chest with kisses and gentle bites, pleasantly mewling at the taste of his skin. You flicked your tongue against his nipple and hummed in delight at his sharp intake of breath. It seemed impossible, you being there with the wild boy who caught your attention from a distance a year ago, so you were going to make the most of it. You kissed across his chest and down his arms, leaving kitten licks beside each tattoo before you reached his fingers. You collected his large hands in yours and toyed with his rings for a moment, before pressing a kiss to each fingertip.

Eddie felt like he was in a daze watching you, each movement and kiss lifting him higher into the haziness of his arousal. He couldn’t believe a sweet thing like you would actually give him the time of day, but here you were borderline sucking on his fingers and making eyes at him. He needed you. Resting his hands on your hips at first, he collected the fabric of your shirt and slowly pulled it over your head, like he was unwrapping a delicate present. He let the article fall to the bed beside him as he took you in: kneeling on his bed in your bra, wet marks from his kisses across your neck, your eyes glazed over in lust, biting your bottom lip while giving him a shy smile as you reached back to unclasp your bra. He was done for. 

The way Eddie was so perfectly following your instruction was driving you both insane. He tackled you back onto the mattress, covering your face with kisses, daring to get as close to the corners of your smile as possible still without touching your lips as you laughed. You both managed to undo each other’s jeans and slide them down your legs, taking a moment to process the sights before you. Hands roaming everywhere, you gently bit his shoulder as his fingers traced over the wetness of your panties, you cradling his balls and firm erection through his boxers. He laid open-mouthed kisses down your sternum and kneaded your breasts with his free hand, loving how you squealed when he would pinch a nipple. 

He was painfully hard at this point, and all of your caressing and perfect squeezing further drove him to pleasure. He wanted so badly to be inside you, but he needed to feel you first. He chuckled at the pout you gave him as he retracted his hand from between your thighs. “I promise you’ll like what I’m going to do, princess.” He slid his hand beneath the waistband of your panties and swirled a finger around your already swollen clit. “You’re soaked for me, huh? You want more?” He teased as his fingertips lazily stroked through your slick folds. 

“Please. Yes, please, Eddie.” You whined and swiveled your hips. Your back arched off the bed as he pressed a long digit into you, satisfying you in a way you had been craving for weeks. You dipped your hand into the band of his boxers and wrapped your fingers around his length the best you could, slowly stroking the silky skin. He had you so worked up, he easily slipped a second finger inside you. “More, please. Wanna feel your rings.”

“Oh, fuck.” Eddie was losing himself in your touch and deliciously needy sounds. He pressed his two fingers deeper, just enough to have his bulky rings nudging your entrance. His pace continued to be torturously slow, his fingers filling you repeatedly to the hilt of his rings as he watched you alternate between closing your eyes in bliss and looking up at him when you gave him a firm stroke. 

You would be lost in taking in every little expression Eddie made if he wasn’t making you so lost in pleasure. His fingers curled inside you perfectly, your back further arching off the bed as you neared your climax. His mouth was hanging slack as you continued to stroke him, his lips puffy from dragging them down your body. He looked perfectly debauched. You gasped when he rubbed his thumb against your clit with both fingers pressed deep inside you. Your hips bucked against his hand, and you started to stroke his cock faster. “Eddie, I’m… I-oh!” Your orgasm washed you in absolute pleasure as you clenched around his fingers, the motion of his thumb prolonging your release. 

“There you go, princess. Keep coming for me. So pretty. So, so pretty.” He egged you on, feeling such pride in making you tremble the way you did. His cock throbbed in your hand, desperate for release at this point, but he couldn’t stop playing with your sweet pussy and watching you writhe for him. 

You used your free hand to weakly grasp at his wrist, stilling his movement. “So good. So sensitive. Just a second.” You giggled as you guided his fingers out of you, humming at the feeling. Propping yourself up on your elbow, you continued to stroke him, running your thumb through the precum dripping from the tip. Once you felt ready, you laid back down and beckoned him toward you, spreading your knees as he climbed between them.  “Are you ready, Eddie?” You bumped the tip of your noses together again.

“Hell yes,” Eddie lowly whispered, his breath fanning over your face as he leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead. "Are you ready, princess?" He sat back and slowly stroked himself, rubbing the nearly purple head through your wetness. 

"Mhm.." You nodded up at him, wiggling your hips to invite him to fill you up. "Need you, Eds." 

Eddie exhaled a shaky breath, his heart pounding in his chest and ears at the reality of where he was. He moaned as he slowly pushed into you, his forehead falling to rest atop of yours when he filled you completely. He stilled for a moment, for you to adjust to him and even more so for him to not finish the second he slid into your slick heat. "Oh, fuck, I'm inside you, princess. You feel so perfect." He mumbled into your forehead and kissed it again before pulling back to look at you.

The stretch of Eddie filling you was overwhelming in the best way possible. You grabbed his shoulder, your nails digging into his skin. "So full. Oh, my god. Please move. I need it." 

He pulled almost completely out before slowly sliding all the way back in, already losing himself to how good you felt around him. He pushed himself up onto his hands that rested on either side of your head to watch you as he picked up his pace. He was hypnotized by how your body moved under him; the way your breasts jiggled with each  thrust, your legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him further into you, and how you reached above yourself to grasp his wrists. The room was filled with sounds of your combined moans and the slapping of skin, something neither of you could get enough of in that moment. Eddie almost came as you sat up and started kissing and sucking at the tattoos on his forearms. “Jesus, princess. You’re gonna make me cum if you keep doin’ that.”

Your body was thrumming with pleasure, being filled so perfectly and surrounded by everything Eddie Munson. He looked so fucked out and wild on top of you, his hair bouncing with his thrusts and his beautiful eyes locked on you. You wanted to make him come, bring him the same pleasure he already brought you so easily and was going to again. You leaned forward and bit at the tattoo on his chest, your tongue laving at the expanse of skin between your teeth. He shouted and his thrusts picked up, absolutely pounding into you now. A mewl from you was muffled against his chest. With a ‘pop’ you released his pec and kissed up his neck, “C’mon, Eddie. Make me cum again, then finish inside me.”

“Oh, god.” Eddie was gritting his teeth at this point, determined to make you hit your peak again before he did. He slid a hand down your body, rolling a nipple between his fingers before settling his hand on your pubic bone, his thumb quickly circling over your clit. He was losing his pace, every kiss and bite you pressed to his skin was pushing him closer and closer. “Let me hear you. Let me hear those pretty noises, and come for me again.” He changed the motion of his thumb and nearly roared as you keened beneath him.

“Yes, yes, yes. Oh, fuck, yes, Eddie!” You buried your face into his chest as your orgasm came crashing down on you. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, flames lapping at you with each pulse of your release around him. “Please fill me up. Please!” You lifted your eyes to look at him, needing to see him come apart.

“Holy shit. I’m gonna cum, I-” Eddie thrust deep inside once more before spilling his release inside of you. The remaining clenching from your pussy leaving him with nothing but to give the smallest thrusts as he finished. He dropped to his elbows, his hair falling over his shoulders and caging your faces together for a moment. He rested his forehead against yours again as you both tried to regain your breath. 

When his heart rate finally slowed, he reluctantly pulled out of you and rolled onto his back, arms open and inviting you to lay with him. He hummed contently as you snuggled into his side, your head resting on his chest. This felt so right. 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence between, you suddenly shifted and reached under your side, piquing Eddie’s interest. You grinned up at him as you produced the d20 from earlier. “I think you should roll again.”

Eddie chuckled and plucked the die from your hand. “I guess I can’t really complain about my results from the last one.” Flashing you a cheeky smile, he rolled it in his hands for a moment before dropping it down the curve of your hip. He sat up a little to peer at it sitting on the bed between you, a 20 sitting at the top. 

You both cheered and grabbed at each other's face, peering into the other’s eyes before finally closing the distance and pressing your lips together.

Taglist: @barnesafterglow @sweetdreamsbuck @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky @christywantspizza @midnightf @justile @late-to-the-party-81 @moonlacebeam

[aethersflames]

thanks for the tag dear! ^w^

Named after anyone? someone mentioned in a song, allegedly.

Last time I cried? two weeks ago. yes, I managed to pinpoint it cus it was the day before a big day.

Kids? none and never.

Sports? swimming on the rare occasions I get to. Otherwise, do long walks and sometimes running count?

Sarcasm? plenty of opportunities to use it online, but not irl cus I know I'll get reprimanded for it. not very good at registering it myself sometimes.

First thing I notice about something? what colour it happens to be, I guess.

Eye colour? a deep, kinda nondescript brown unless it catches the light right. then it's... a much lighter shade of brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? give me some hope where it fits. bittersweet endings certainly count for that, too.

Talents? voice mimicry, maybe

Place of birth? a major city in my home country. despite all the moving around my family has done over the years... this is probably where we've permanently settled, 20 years into my life. the specific hospital is not a long walk away from my house.

Hobbies? drawing, writing, gaming...

Pets? none right now ;w; I kept some tropical fish a couple of years ago though.

Height? 156cm or 5'6. I refuse to believe I have shrunken by an inch.

Favourite school subject? biology, or English/literature. shoutout to my teachers for the latter from junior and senior year for encouraging me to write my stories.

Dream job? working in a museum or a lab. don't want the degree I'll be earning to go to waste.

I shall tag @bunniletto @confluencechimera @ayano-n-the-theory-of-happiness aaand @jpuff9 !

tagged by @wolfsangel

1. named after anyone? no but my grandma chose my current name 2. last time I cried? today 3. kids? my plushies 4. sports? sleeping (n skating in winter) 5. sarcasm? hard to understand 6. first thing I notice about something? shape 7. eye color? that weird grey color that either looks green or blue to people 8. scary movies or happy endings? scary movies 9. talents? communicating with anything that has a soul 10. place of birth? c++ compiler 11. hobbies? programming, drawing, music, reserching topics no one cares about 12. pets? da dog, da hamster, soon da stickbugs 13. height? 5'5 or somwthing 14. favorite school subject? i dunno 15. dream job? something programming or osint related

tagging: @fvckinnefor @disruptxrr @ttattp @necoboberarc @poorpastel-pain + any1 who wants to do this ^__^

[raydaug]

The Moon is Very Beautiful Tonight - The Love Language of the Tower of Doors

Natsume Soseki (1867 - 1916) was a Meiji era novelist and is widely regarded as one of, if not the most important and influential novelist in modern Japanese history. So prominent is Natsume’s place in Japanese history and culture that Natsume’s portrait was featured on the 1000 yen note for twenty years, from 1984 to 2004. 

Prior to becoming a writer, Natsume was a teacher, first at Matsuyama MIddle School, which would serve as inspiration for one of his most famous novels, 坊っちゃん (Botchan), and then Fifth High School in Kumamoto. 

In 1900, he was sent by the Japanese Government to study English literature in Great Britain. By all accounts, he did not enjoy his time studying abroad. Of his time spent at University Collect London, Natsume wrote; “The two years I spent in London were the most unpleasant years in my life. Among English gentlemen I lived in misery, like a poor dog that had strayed among a pack of wolves.”

However much he may have disdained it, his time in Britain was hugely influential to Natsume and his works. It engendered in him a great deal of skepticism towards the rapid Westernization of Japan. The tensions between modern Western culture and traditional Japanese sensibilities would become a recurring theme in his writings.

                                    Natsume Soseki (1867 - 1916)

After returning to Japan in 1903 but before resigning to become a full time writer in 1907, Natsume was a professor of English literature at Tokyo Imperial University. While teaching one day, Natsume overheard some of his students struggling to translate the phrase “I love you” from English into Japanese. The students settled on 我君を愛す (I love you), but Natsume took issue with the use of 愛す (aisu - love), as he felt that stating one’s feelings that openly and directly was too Western and wasn’t in keeping with Japanese culture, or what he thought Japanese culture should be. 

Instead, he suggested that “I love you” should be translated as 月が綺麗ですね (the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?). He felt that this phrase preserved the indirect, stoic nature of Japanese, as the the word for “moon” (月 - tsuki) and “like” (好き - suki) both sound the same when spoken out loud. This creates a double meaning for the phrase, stating one’s affection by hiding it in plain sight. 

Or so the story goes. Records corroborating this tale are sparse, with some of them popping up one hundred years or more after Natsume’s death. The exact phrasing of the translation also changes depending on the telling, with some versions saying that Natsume translated “I love you” to 今夜は月がとても青い (The moon is very blue tonight). 

Regardless of the veracity, the story of Natsume’s translation became part of the cultural consciousness of Japan. In 1955, enka singer Tsuzuko Sugawara released the song 月がとっても青いから (“Since the Moon is so Blue”) and 2017 saw the release of the romance anime 月がきれい (As the Moon, So Beautiful). 

“If French is the language of love, then Japanese is the language of awkward, and roundabout expressions like this one are common throughout.” Translator and editor Rei Miyasaka told me in a brief correspondence we had on the subject. Among other things, Miyasaka worked as a translator on the aforementioned As the Moon, So Beautiful anime series. “The story of Natsume’s translation, whether factual or not, is passed down essentially as a useful parable. It demonstrates a difference between Western and Japanese mannerisms.”

The Tower of Doors gamble is the apotheosis of Sayaka’s character arc and the arc of her and Kirari’s relationship. It comes when both are at their most uncertain about the other and the relationship they have, and the moon plays a pivotal role in the outcome of the gamble. 

Despite moving though the tower in a way that she thought was perfect, Sayaka still loses the gamble. When Yumeko begins to explain to a shellshocked Sayaka how she managed to beat her, she says this:

今夜は月がとっても綺麗ですね。 The moon is very beautiful tonight, isn't it?

“The phrase is definitely well-known in Japan. “ Miyasaka says. “...when this particular phrase is referenced in literature or pop culture, it’s usually with either a tacit or explicit nod to the Natsume Soseki story, usually in a discussion of Japanese people’s awkwardness and/or aesthetic sensibilities.” 

Yumeko doesn’t quite say the famous line exactly here. She adds とっても (very) and 今夜 (tonight) to it. I believe this was an intentional deviation, for two reasons. One, this is not Yumeko’s confession, she is instead calling attention to the Tower of Doors and Kirari’s intentions. And two, changing the line draws attention to what remains the same. The kanji used to describe the moon, 綺麗 (beautiful), shares the same first character as is used in Kirari’s name (綺羅莉), drawing a connection to Kirari and the moon. 

Later in her explanation, Yumeko drops any pretense of subtlety, saying:

このギャンブルのためだけに「扉の塔」は回転する！ The "Tower of Doors" rotates just for this gamble!) なんて馬鹿らしくて。 How silly/absurd/ridiculous! なんて愛らしくて。 How charming/adorable/lovely! なんてロマンテックなんでしょう！ How romantic!

The precise word Yumeko uses to describe the romanticism of the Tower of Doors is ロマンテック, which is the katakana for the english word “romantic.” Katakana is a sort of phonetic way of writing in Japanese that’s used in several different ways, including foreign loan words and emphasis, similar to italics in English. Yumeko is stressing heavily and unambiguously the romantic nature of the Tower of Doors.

When a furious and dumbstruck Sayaka retorts that Yumeko’s logic makes no sense and that the Kirari may have made the Tower rotate for no reason, both Yumeko and Kirari rebuff her:

Yumeko: まさか No way! そんなこと考えもしませんでしたよ。ここまで大掛かりな仕掛けを作っておいてギャンブルに使わないなんて。 I didn't even think about that. You can't make such a large-scale device/mechanism/gadget and not use it for gambling.

Kirari: 買い被りよ、清華。私もそこまで酔狂ではないわ。 You give me too much credit. I'm not that capricious/eccentric.

Here, Yumeko asserts, and Kirari confirms, the intentionality of the design behind the Tower of Doors. Kirari designed the Tower with the intent that the moon would reveal its secret. 

Yumeko won the Tower of Doors because she figured out the Tower’s secret. But that secret wasn’t that it rotated and that you could move from the bottom to top floor in one move. The key to the Tower was understanding Kirari’s intent when she designed it. That the Tower of Doors is a love letter to Sayaka, designed to capitalize on all of her strength in logic and reasoning, but with it’s own illogical twist layered on to. 

Sayaka failed to understand this for the same reason everyone loses to Yumeko; they become so absorbed in beating Yumeko and losing themselves in the gamble that they lose sight of the bigger picture. Sayaka was so focused on Yumeko that she failed to see the key to understanding the Tower and the symbol of Kirari’s affection for her; the moon. But it doesn’t matter in the end. Even though Sayaka lost the gamble, Kirari and Sayaka accept one another, and are brought closer, because, as Yumeko puts it, “You can’t prohibit someone from having feelings for someone else.” 

“...Japanese people love to euphemize and beat around the bush.” Miyasaka says. “...people tend not to like saying ‘I love you’ because people find it to be too forward...So quotes like this one [the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?]  might come up naturally when two people are sharing a moment...one should go no further than to express that, despite the stoicism expected of them by the other people around them, they feel safe exposing their sentimentality to this person, and that hence they love them.” 

Translation is more of an art than a science. There’s no equation that you can plug words and phrases into and have them converted cleanly into any other language because words are more than dictionary definitions. 

To translate something from one language to another while still preserving meaning requires a firm grasp not only of the mechanics of both languages, but also the cultural vocabularies of the languages as well. But even then, meaning can still be lost because the cultural contexts and codes that inform language exist outside of the words. 

The language of love that permeates the Tower of Doors is something that sadly gets, not just lost, but abandoned in translation from Japanese to English, and ends up going unnoticed, like Sayaka and the moon.

CLICK HERE FOR A TANGENT ABOUT KAKEGURUI’S OFFICIAL ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS

Massive, massive shoutout to @castleoflions​ for doing just as much, if not more work than I did on this in providing me with the manga pages as well as helping me with the Japanese. Also, thank you so much to Rei Miyasaka for offering me some of his time and helping me with the cultural aspects of this piece.