#shouldve just kept my mouth shut

[hemlocksandfoxgloves]

My mom when i tell her ive been having some serious sexual confusion for the past three years. As in i think im full les, not just pan like i thought. I tell her ive been feeling this way for years and ive always known ive been into girls.

Her reaction:

“Youre just feeling this way because youre in your 20s.”

“When youre in your 30s youre gonna want to settle down with a man.”

“You’re too young to be making life decisions like this.”

“You cant be selfish like this, you need to think of other people.”

“Trust me, ive felt like this before, youre not gonna want to be with a woman for the rest of your life.”

“When youre with a woman its the most soul crushing heartache. Youre not gonna want that.”

“You’ve gone through this before. Remember when you were a teenager. You used to feel like this all the time. It will pass.”

“You cant always be happy. Thats part of being an adult.”

“You just haven’t been in enough intimate relationships. You’re just confused because you haven’t been with that many people.”

“You know I’ve always supported you.”

[ajxrn-archive]

I need to be put in a waffle iron or something

[ev-enhotterthanyou]

'yeah its np, I don't care!'

fifteen minutes of quietly sobbing into my pillow later: 'okay. so I decidedly do care'

[oneofthechaoskids]

...

...

... go drag out your brother for me. Better yet

BRING ME TO HIM

[zzora]

my laptop screen broke and i brought it to this small shop to get it fixed but i have to leave it with them for a week and im getting so anxious about it

he asked for the password and im like why do you need that if the screen is broken and he said it was for testing the camera and some other random stuff to make sure the screen is working afterwards but STILL MY FILES MAN

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

you apply for several jobs on seek (my preferred job site), indeed or jora. a couple get back to you and say "please do our preemptive psych (aptitude) tests/chat bot/fun games assessment/s with an online video interview (within the next 48hrs).... so that we can assess your viability for this role."

you do the bs chatbot/psych test/automated video interview etc etc. some of these give you an instant response after doing them, which you kinda like.... but also really absolutely hate. every test result you get back basically tells you that you're a walking contradiction: you LOVE to dominate conversations, which means your co-workers are somehow terrified of you. so please learn to PIPE FUCK DOWN, LISTEN AND TAKE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS/FEEDBACK etc (which you do anyway). however, you are also EXTREMELY SHY and goal-oriented.... which means your productivity is moderately ok, but doing just a bit more will make you a go-getter.... but uh. have we told you that your coworkers and clients will NEVER get to know you deeply?? so, learn to speak up and make friends in the workplace and also have good client relationships 😊!

wait! wait! we're not done tearing you limb from limb yet!!! have you considered that your productivity is actually awful because you're so easily distracted and don't like routine??? have you considered that this lack of attention can ruin your KPI achievement targets.... and single-handedly utterly destroy the performance efforts of the ENTIRE team and company???? we suggest focusing on streamlining your workflow and productivity habits.... and totally NEVER getting distracted EVER, so YOU make US money and not the other way round 😤😡. also, maybe apply for something that involves a whole load of rules and stable methods (bc we conversely think you're also a very stable and consistent person emotionally), not an ever changing admin position!!! (BTW: we'll never tell you that these "rule loving" jobs include anywhere between $10,000 of study (at the very least for tafe) to $30,000+ for a degree (at the most) or SEVERAL years of work experience.... which you very obviously don't have for even a junior position, let alone a middle management or senior position).

hey, we're nearly done! we swear 😰! don't leave yet... if you're still breathing that is 😅😂!!! isn't this so much fun 🙃?!! congrats on being able to analyse the complex relationships in teamwork environments... if only you could collaborate- which you do well, actually, because you're super laid-back (everyone wants someone like you on their team 💞..... just not us though lol 😋) - and LEAD, maybe???? but also DON'T be a leader, and try to really achieve "above and beyond" (despite what we said in the job description).... because we don't want you thinking that you're actually able to do anything of meaning to you... and that you can really achieve your said big goals, with us in tow 🙃. finally, NEVER be laid-back in the work environment. we construe this as being lackadaisical (which is a BIG, intelligent word for L A Z Y, if you didn't already know that 🤓! also.... are you a young millennial or gen z??? hehehe! we've got you all figured out 😎) which means you'll NEVER do YOUR work to OUR fake desired standard/s anyway 🙃.

PHEW! that was a lot! thanks! have a wonderful day. now GO FUCK YOURSELF 😊' [one more teenie tiny thing: please give us feedback on this reading! how did we do??? 😊]

you then read these bullshit results to a family member. they are HORRIFIED at the utter lack of respect, transparency, care, trust, integrity and human interaction in the hiring processes of the modern job market, mostly for the office admin and retail jobs that you've been applying for. when ironically, all of those attributes you just listed above (and sometimes more) are the so-called values/mission/goals of EVERY firm/business etc that you've applied for.

the downright rudeness and callousness of being absolutely torn to shreds by a shitty little bot; for a big retail chain's christmas casual position, that they use to save time to cut in-person interview times.... all to be told that that's why you'll never be a check-out chick for 3 months over christmas.... is fucking awful and deflating. (although, not that it matters. you didn't really want it anyway. you tell yourself). being told that you won't/can't sit on a computer and phone, using word, excel and the business's CRM all day.... doing admin for what feels the 10 billionth fuckin local office or government dept/council job, or other fucking small local places that you've applied for.... all bc "you have big dreams" or "you love to talk. but not at your job" or whatever other condescending, demotivating and backhanded bullshit that they've said in these test results... is humiliating, depressing and undermining as all fuck.

all bc you selected the wrong answers in a "fun mini-game" about how to reply to work colleagues in the company chat program, whatever that may be. or all the other shitty psych/aptitude test mini games that i played for big firms for uni grad programs back in uni in 2017. or, you've selected the wrong answers in a more ~traditional~ psych/aptitude test for a local educational institution like a uni or a technical/trade college.

it makes you question what the actual goddamned fuck the HR people actually want. what the actual fuck the bot is trained to snuff out and highlight and gush all over in someone's resume, interview and test answers, like a big corporate cum stain. are they really as "fair", "consistent" and "equitable" or whatever the fuck else benevolent words companies use to describe them??? are they ethical??? am i going insane??? would it be healthier for me just to jump off a cliff into the ocean filled with blood hungry cartoon sharks circling below??? would it be better to [enter, pursued by a bear] when i FINALLY get another interview.... if i EVER get another one; just to serve justice???? if it's a dog eat dog world, why don't i just become a golden retriever that just wants to eat treats and make dog and human friends on the daily??? if the world has gone to the dogs or the bears or sharks; wouldn't it just be fucking nice to bring one along with you, to make a point????

it's utter shit out here, lads [gender neutral]. we're all fucking tired and dead inside. it's why "no one wants to work anymore", as the piss-baby weak employers LOVE to bitch and moan. but: why work when you're disrespected from the fucking outset??? why work when you realise that you'll NEVER have the upper hand in any-fucking-thing??? why work when you're ignored constantly or even ghosted by employers??? the questions go on and on and on. "stop being deafeatist!" or whatever other word/phrase i can hear the "no one wants to work anymore!"crowd shout. no. im tired. we're tired. we're motherfucking done.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. The silence is deafening.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require you to create an account on the company website. You leave a trail of ghost accounts that will be used once and never again. You never receive a response.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but it's so rare for you to receive any response that you forget to check the website and you miss the time.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but you don't know the magic words that signal to the esoteric mind of an interviewer that you're fit for the job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer e-mails you saying that 'unfortunately, you do not have the qualifications we are looking for'. You check the job again and see you applied to be a menial labourer.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require a car. No one stops to ask how you're supposed to afford one with no job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers a job. The commute makes you want to die in your sleep.

You call the HR manager for the workplace in hopes of arranging an interview more directly. They don't even have an answering machine.

Employers complain that no one wants to work anymore.

[fluffylino]

zombie!minho pt 3

-contains mature themes

"stop" minho let out, carefully pushing you away. "im feeling a little out of control"

you pouted, looking at all the marks you had left on his collarbone, all the way down to his chest.

"you shouldve taken your meds on time then" minho sighed, faking an annoyed expression. It was quite obvious he was affected by your tricks.

minho looked divine. the marks or lovebites how he would call it littered his body in an artistic way.

pretty reddish blue bruises against his pale grey skin. however the natural lively colour of his body would eventually get restored once his meds kick in. You had approximately 45 minutes to have your fun.

"you're my canvas"

he gagged, trying to pull his shirt back done. you clicked your tongue.

"im not done"

minho sighed yet again, but he didn't stop you.

"shit im shutting off...run out and lock the door if i lose it" minho grumbled, laying back down on the couch.

he had kept mentioning that. saying that if he ever lost control on his body, to run away and leave him. it scared you. if he turned completely, you could end up turning into one as well. you shook the fear away...now being a little cautious.

it was silent then.

you could hear yourself breathing and the faint sound of his heart beating. it was slow yet steady.

He lifted his head slowly, eyes completely foggy and white, his lips chapped and the expression on his face was fixed.

Lifeless.

that was until you pressed down on his bulge. nipping against the insides of his thighs. mouthing at his covered crotch.

you moved down lower, just above his bellybutton. you kissed the skin before trailing down lower. he spread his legs without much thought, to which you laughed.

standing up, you sat down on his lap. he groaned, putting his hands on your waist. for a brief second, you got scared. His grip on your waist was firm, a little too firm.

"Ow you're cold" you whispered under your breath not expecting him to bother.

he grunted, eyebrows furrowing.

huh?

you watched his cold hand slip inside your pants with ease. you whimpered, clutching his shoulders at the icy feeling of his fingers against your heat. you throbbed as his fingers pushed against your cunt with just the right pressure.

"minho-" you were about to complain, moaning when three fingers entered you in one swift motion. your hand went flying down to hold his wrist. he took hold of both of your wrists, keeping them down with a single hand.

you were wet enough yet the stretch was bearable. his fingers moving inside of you with precision. you rested your head on his shoulder, breathing down on him. he pressed his head against yours.

And the you knew.

minho was still there within. he was there and you were safe.

minho loves when you're vocal and noisy. unable to hold in your voice when he's treating you so well. it also makes him know he's doing a good job.

when he can't speak, he renders you speechless...loving how there is no talking, just moans.

the thing was, minho was not sweet and patient in this state. he was brutal, taking whatever he wanted from you. Of course he made sure you were okay but he would do whatever he wanted. never letting you take charge. not that you did most of the time. In this state, he has you keening for him. being extrememly submissive. and vocal.

"shit you're taking my fingers so well"

you looked up in surprise, his eyes were back and he was starting to look a bit more...alive. he retracted his hand, pushing the three fingers in his mouth. he groaned.

"you always taste good. and im the only one who has the honour of eating you" he seemed proud. he pulled you by the base of your neck, your lips crashing together.

"will you let me take care of you?" he asked between breaths. you answered by grinding down on him.

[solaiced]

CASE 13: BABY CHOSO NEEDS HIS MOMMY.

!content!: choso cries because of a movie, couch sex, mommy kink, and comfort?

wc:693

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"Choso, are you.. crying?" Your surprised voice rings through the air.

You and Choso had been watching a movie involving a mother going through hell to get her child back in a post-apocalyptic world, and he just fell quiet, sniffling. You worriedly brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"N-no, it's just.." He was lying. his voice watery and eyes wet.

"You don't have to lie, Cho..." You bring Choso's head close to your chest, your boobs cushioning him.

"It's just sad... Like... I can't explain it, my mom didn't do this for me... " He sounds envious, hands exploring your body as a way to relieve stress.

"Aw, Cho-baby, I can be your mommy." You joke, hoping to lighten his mood.

However, it's his eyes that light up, peering up at you through wet, dark lashes. He smiles softly.

"You would?" He asks, eyes bright with joy.

"Yeah, I would." You giggle, happy that he's happy. In an instant, you're flipped over, hands pinned by his.

"Well, mommy," he sniffles, face close to yours. "Wipe my tears, please. Make me feel better." He pouts dramatically, nuzzling your face submissively.

"Yeah I’ll replace your tears of sadness with tears of joy, mm?" you kiss his cheek affectionately

Maybe, he shouldn't have said that.

Maybe, he shouldve kept quiet.

Maybe then, he wouldn't be begging for mercy. To cum. His hips buckle, hands itching to touch you.

"Cho-baby, ah." You moan, bouncing on his lap, on his cock.

"Muh-Mommyy-" He whines, trying to not disobey and touch you. Oh God.

"You wanna touch me, huh- don't you?" You tease, rolling your hips just right.

And fuck, if that didn't affect him.

"Yah - Yeah, please, mommy. "He drags out the last sylable, head thrown back in pleasure. Choso swore he saw stars when you grinded on him so good, he started babbling.

"Mo-Mommy, mommy, please, let me cum, let me touch you -ohh, mommy!" His dignity is definitely in the dust, now.

This was so humiliating but... hot, to him, at the same time.

"Are you crying?" You mock, grabbing, his face and kissing away his tears. "These better be happy tears, okay?" You hum as he groans, acknowledging your words tiredly.

“Y-yeah, I'm happy, ma," The dark haired man replies, eyes shut to focus on not cumming. You caress his cheek, keeping a steady rhythm, bouncing off his thighs. The only sounds in the room were wet flesh slapping against wet flesh, Choso's moans and your whispered praises. You feel yourself get wetter, you were definitely about to cum.

"Cho, Choso." you breathe, giggling. His eyes flutter open, attentive. "I'm about to cum, aren't you happy? Mommy's gonna cum." You lick the tears persistently flowing down Choso’s red cheeks. Such a crybaby.

"Yes, yes, mommy, I'mso-hic-happy'" He hiccups, teeth bared in what seems like a smile. Well, at least he's trying.

"You can cum, too, fill mommy up,

‘kay?" You coo, both hands on his chest to balance your self. He nods eagerly, drool at the corner of his mouth. He was so cute, all disheveled.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you mommy!” Choso whimpers, hands searching for something else to touch apart from you. But ever the merciful Goddess that you are, you place both of his hands on each of your hips, making sure they were steady.

He whispers a ‘thank you’ once more, and you clench, making him groan.

“Gonna cum," You announce, out of breath. "Ready?" He shakes his head but you ignore him, stomach knotting in preparation.

The pleasure builds, you clench, hard, and Chose tightens his grip on you, sure to leave marks. Just when you feel you're about to cum, finger rubbing your clit and rocking against Choso, he erupts, body lifting up like a man possessed and loud cries ripping out of him. The sticky liquid he produces stays inside of you, plugged by his cock.

He flops back against the couch, spent. You were almost there.

And he ruined it. He had to pay.

"I didn't tell you to cum." Just then, Chose felt true fear because of you for the first time ever.

[ouellette]

not even being emo but these last 2 years have been so genuinely excruciating that idek how i've managed to make it this far if i'm being honest. in february will be the 2 yr anniv since the ex that i'm still not over broke up with me (& then got with someone new 5 months later after saying how much he wouldn't be able to do that......lol), my grandma passed after a slow and agonizing fight with kidney + liver disease and i had to drive myself to my final week of senior year while my mom was on hospice with her (& to this day have to deal with the guilt that because of speaking out abt what my uncle did i created a rift in our family for years that we will never be able to get back with her. all he got was a slap on the wrist so i really shouldve just kept my mouth shut. her illness is actually what brought us all back together), my best friend since middle school decided that communication was too much work and that oh well i'm taking up too much time she could be spending with her bf anyways and ended up ghosting me for an entire summer just to be like oopsie! i didnt mean to! then not talk to me for an entire year only to come back crying that she misses me so much after i've already come to terms with everything and completely detached myself from her, ummmm i graduated and immediately started working this fuckass job (men's medium prison) that makes me want to kms every day just because of the sheer amount of stress it is not knowing if you're going in for an 8 hour shift or a 16 hour shift and the pressure of adulthood is really making me start to lose it i think. But im so so so so normal about it i swear <3

[kibumkim]

"objectively unattractive" being considered a neutral statement is crazy thats just big words for calling someone ugly... girl shouldve just kept her mouth shut?!?!

There's so many ways she could have talked about pretty privilege and how it intersects with misogyny but instead she just...."hi i have an ugly ass friend and her being ugly opened my eyes to how ugly people are treated. She is so brave. ❤️"

[conanssummerchild]

im pissed and im petty and bitter so here are my ex best friends red flags bcs fuck her and now that we're not friends i can stop pretending she was perfect

1. she had such a fucking superiority complex

i swear to god she always thought what she was doing was better or right, for example im really bad at school and she was little miss straight a's, which is fine, until she made it my business too. one time i was talking about struggling in maths and she gave me some advice and i said i did it differently and she said like "well who's in the low maths class?" i never talked to her about academics again. and thats only one example of so many

2. she complained so goddamn much

i swear to god every fucking hour she was venting about something, and it was really uncomfortable ngl bcs i never ever talk about my feelings and i wasnt used to someone being so open, which yeah i know my way isnt healthy either but i swear she had to make everything become about her feelings, like shut your fucking mouth

3. speaking of, she said like that it was weird for her when i talked to her about my dad

like i said i dont talk about my feelings but since she was so open i tried to be more open for her, but i guess i shouldve just kept my mouth shut, bcs i never ever complained abt her venting but when i did it it was too much aparently also i asked her this:

and she never bothered answering. hypocritical if u ask me

4. she reminded me too much of my sister

this isnt a flaw of her own and more of a me problem, but she was too much like my sister and i shouldve identified that as the issue it was earlier on (if ur not familiar with me, me and my sister have a really bad relationship) maybe then i wouldve been able to work through it and it wouldnt have been a problem

5. she was lowkey kinda patronising

she used this fucking voice at me sometimes (usually in autism related issues) and i tried to convince myself it was sweet and comforting but really it felt like she was speaking to a child (i do not fucking like being infantilised.) in fact a lot of the ways she treated me made me feel like a child and it fucking. sucked.

6. everytime i was struggling she would tell me how hard it was for her

I GET IT OH MY GOD SHUT UP. like the first time i didnt mind it, because i knew it was true, but like was it really necessary to say it every. fucking. time? i dont talk about my feelings normally. if she knew i was feeling bad it was only because i was feeling so bad i couldnt hold it together anymore or i was nonverbal. i understand im difficult to deal with like that but telling me how bad it makes you feel just makes me feel more like shit. not everything is about you and your feelings dude

7. she was really gatekeepy over this one youtuber i started watching

ok so theres this youtuber zara beth who one day i discovered on yt and i rlly liked her and so i told my ex bsf and she was like oh yeah i bet u only watched her videos on autism 😒 and she was being like so passive agressive the whole conversation like GIRL, CHILL. even if i did only watch her videos on autism whats wrong with that (and like i didnt even, i watched all of them on 2x speed and binged her entire account)

THE THREE DOTS??? 💀

8. several of the few times i would tell her abt smth that i was upset over she would just straight up change the subject 😭

9. she liked physical contact too much

ik this isnt a red flag really but im not comfortable with so much physical contact so we weren't compatible in this way

10. she liked video calls too much

again, not really a red flag but video calls and just phone calls in general make me so uncomfortable and exhausted and honestly its even kinda overstimulating and she always wanted to call

11. she said she didnt feel like anything was going on in the aftermath of us having had a disagreement, but it built up so much that we havent talked since. so i would say maybe we shouldve talked about it (like i suggested). ('my face was grey but you wouldnt admit that we were sick' vibes)

theres more red flags, but there was also so much good, it wasnt all bad, which makes it hurt more, she truly showed me what it felt like to love and i miss her painfully every day.

[theoneandonlysun]

*the tiniest crane ever, smaller than a thumbnail, approaches sun with a note that is over ten times its size. both it and the note are crinkled and tearstained. the note is unsigned, but it reads:

"im sorry. i should never had said anything. i shouldve kept my mouth shut. you didnt need this so soon after you just got better. ill try to be a better friend later. i need to think now. after failing to save a second person so close to me... first my brother, now jax... i need time alone. please lean on the others while im gone. you need them."*

Sun doesn't bother to read the note. She doesn't even notice the little crane. Something more might get her attention.

[dawnblade]

i feel like a tool for talking about feeling any sense of hope or whatever the fuck and then immediately getting my ass kicked by my stupid ass shitty ass life. like i shouldve kept my mouth shut.

anyway my new approach is to have no standards and assume that circumstance can and will beat the life out of me at any given moment so ill just live at rock bottom and do whatever stupid bullshit that needs doing and if i get fucked again (which i will) then who gives a shit, everything sucks and im the worst man alive and i have no expectation for anything good to happen anymore so yeah man fuck it tear my shit down. ill just keep crawling around half dead doing my dumb thing cause im not allowed to die

[oetscop]

god i wish i never brought up anything and just stayed w my last psych and therapist. i feel like i cant trust a single thought in my own head. i cant trust anything im seeing or hearing. it could all be fake or a hallucination. i feel so isolated and alone terrified. i shouldve kept my fucking mouth shut i miss living in ignorance i miss thinking i was normal

[empty-solaces]

im always asking for things im the worst i always want to do things with them im such a piece of shit they were busy i shouldnt have asked i shouldve just kept my mouth shut i should shut up i need to shut up im so stupid what was i thinking

[nickisnecromancy]

i shouldve just kept my fuckin mouth shut

this dog should be muzzled maybe then she can be accepted

and im an even worse person because obviously this is what happens when you overstep boundaries like a freak who doesnt know how to talk to other people but all i can focus on is how im hurting

i deserve this im not a good person