#shouldn't he know their names from that or is that too optimistic

[dynamightmite]

Do y'all think the sludge villain actually remembers Bakugo and Midoriya. Like enough to recognize them? Or does he just remember getting punched by All Might six times in one day and in between that he ate some children probably.

[weird-is-life]

Don't deny it

Pairing: Rockstar!Sirius Black x fem!reader

Summary: Rockstar!Sirius keeps denying your relationship and you finally have enough

Warnings: angst, fluff, use of pet names, use of y/n, swear words, mentions of head injury, happy ending ofc

Words: 2.4k

You thought, that you've been just imagining it, but as you hear Sirius getting interviewed now, you know, you haven't.

Sirius has been keeping your relationship secret. Like everytime he got interviewed in the last few months, he played it like he was single. No mentions of a girlfriend, meaning no mentions of you.

Like you get it, that the band is really famous and that mentioning your name would kind of make your life a bit more difficult. With less privacy and everything.

But he doesn't have to say your name, he could just admit having a girlfriend. No need to go into details.

And you think, you've finally had enough when you hear him reply to the reporter's question.

"So my last question is for all of the fangirls, is Sirius Black taken?" the reporter chuckles as she asks it.

You hear Sirius laugh too," taken? No, I'm definitely not taken. Still very single, sadly."

You hear him laugh some more, before you turn the interview off. You feel like the dumbest fool.

Obviously, Sirius is too embarrassed of you to even admit he's dating anybody, there can't be any other reason.

And you've definitely had enough of it. Everytime he denies your relationship, you feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest and stumped on.

You can't go on like this. You don't want to hurt like this anymore. You can't keep hoping that one day, he's going to admit having a girlfriend. You just can't, it pains you too much.

So with that, you decide to ignore Sirius, hoping he'll understand, that you don't want to see him ever again. You know, he shouldn't be home for at least 2 weeks, so hopefully by the time he comes home, you'll move on (too optimistic).

You stop responding to his texts, answering his phone and eventually, you even turn off your phone. You don't give him any explanation, you don't think he deserves one.

Sirius on the other hand is going crazy with worries just after a few hours of radio silence from you. He even calls your best friend to find out if you're okay. Apparently, you are, but you friend refuses to tell him anything more and just hangs up on him.

That doesn't ease his worries at all. He rakes his mind for an answer to what's he done? But nothing comes to his mind.

He tries to contact you again and again, but still, no response. You don't respond even when James or Remus try. So Sirius starts to loose his mind over you.

But he can't leave to go to you, no matter how much he wants to. The band is in the middle of finishing the new album, so he can't just bail on them. He tried it and got yelled by the management pretty badly. Threatening of getting let go by their label if he just leaves.

Sirius becomes completely useless at the studio and the band rehearsals, messing up everything, because his mind is stuck on you.

"Please sweetheart, pick up, please" Sirius whispers brokenly as he once again tries to call you.

You don't pick up and the phone call ends. Sirius throws his phone across the room from the frustration. He slumps onto a sofa and puts his head into his hands in defeat.

He sits there with tears freely running down his cheeks. It's a heartbreaking sight, seeing him so hopeless.

James and Remus find him like that and immediately know, that they have to push him to go see you.

"Go, " James tells him.

"What?" Sirius looks up confused, eyes red.

"Go after her," Remus adds encouragingly.

"But the label....I can't....they'll cut us off-"

"Doesn't matter, we'll just find some other label, there's plenty of them, that want us," James says, maybe a little smugly at the fact, that are are many labels that would kill to have The Marauders.

Sirius looks at them unsurely, "are you guys sure?"

James and Remus groan in frustration, "fucking hell, will you just get out of here, please?" James tells him.

Both Sirius and Remus chuckle, and Sirius quickly gets up. He comes up to the boys and hugs them tightly, squeezing them almost death, until they are pushing him away.

Sirius basically sprints out of the studio. He just grabs all the essentials and runs to the airport. One of the benefits of being famous is the private plane, which he happily uses on his way to you. He gets home in a record time.

The walk through the halls towards your apartment is very nerve-wracking. Sirius doesn't know what to expect, but he certainly doesn't expect all of his stuff, that he's left at your apartment to be sitting outside waiting for him.

"Shit," he curses under his breath and runs a trembling hand through his hair. He can't believe this is happening. He hopes it isn't. He hopes, it's just a nightmare, that he'll soon wake up from. He can't just loose you, he won't survive it, he's sure of that.

Sirius checks under the rug for the spare key and as expected, it isn't there. So Sirius just knocks.

No answer.

He tries again, because he knows you're inside, he can hear the shuffling of things.

"Y/N, please it's me, please open. I-I....can we please talk?" Sirius begs and begs, but you're too stubborn for your own good, you've always been like that, so you don't open.

He knocks and begs, until the neighbours are threatening to call the police on him. Sirius, defeated, sits down with his back to your door.

"Please, love, c-can we just talk?" his tired voice still doesn't break you, but Sirius doesn't give up, " okay, it's okay. I'll wait 'till, you're ready."

And he means it. He makes himself as comfortable as he can on the floor, intending to stay there however long it takes.

You, on the other hand, put on your headphones to ignore Sirius pleads and knocking. You just can't see him right now or anytime soon, your heart is too broken for that.

Even if one part of you wishes to see him and hug him, your body craves the comfort of him. But the rational part of you knows, that'd be too bad for you.

Sirius keeps hiding you and you keep hurting, you can't go on like this, not anymore.

You go to sleep, full of raw emotions, and even if sleep doesn't come easily, eventually you drift off.

In the morning, you wake up just as tired as you were, when you went to bed. And when you open your fridge, you realise, you don't even have anything to eat for breakfast.

You groan internally, you don't feel like going out of your apartment, like at all, but you have to, you can't go on without food.

You put on your most incognito clothes, hoping that you won't meet anyone you know, especially Sirius.

And as you open your door, they suddenly slam wide open, because of some weight pushing against it front the outside.

Said weight, you realise, is Sirius. You yelp in shock, when you see him and look at him bewildered.

Sirius wakes up with a groan. He wasn't thinking of you opening the door, when he first leaned against it. Now he kind of regrets it, as his entire head hurts from hitting it on the floor.

"What the fuck, Sirius?" you whisper yell, you would yell loudly, if it wasn't so early in the morning.

Sirius, upon realising that he can finally see you, stands up quickly. That isn't the best idea though, because his head starts to spin.

"Sweetheart, i-"

"Don't sweetheart me, Sirius. What the hell are you doing here? Have you been here since yesterday?" you question, angrily. You notice, that Sirius looks just as bad as you. Huge eye bags under his eyes, hair dishevelled like crazy.

"Yeah, I told, I'd wait until you were ready to talk," he just replies, giving you a small, hesitant smile.

You don't know, what to say. Your head is full of emotions and you can't decide, which ones are right and which ones aren't.

While you are thinking of what to say to him and glaring at him at the same time, Sirius head starts to spin badly.

"I think, I'm going to pass out," Sirius quickly tells you as he almost tumbles on the ground.

You, without thinking, catch him by the arms.

"W-what's wrong?" you ask a little scared. You find Sirius at your door and suddenly, he's passing out?

"I hit my head..." he mumbles out and hisses as he touches the back of his head.

You sigh, "fuck, okay, c'mon." You help him to your couch and swiftly go to retrieve some ice pack for his head and some water.

You put the ice pack at the back of his head and Sirius winces some more. "Sorry," you whisper.

"It's okay-....I- thank you, sweetheart." Sirius calls you 'sweetheart' again and you want to slap yourself for feeling the butterflies.

You quickly go to the kitchen, so he doesn't see the redness at your cheeks. "Shit," you whisper to yourself, "what am I going to do?"

You've wanted to stay away from Sirius as far away as possible and now he is in your apartment? You don't know if you want to run away, punch him in the face or kiss him stupid.

You stay as long as you can in the kitchen, basically just hiding away from Sirius and you complete forgot about your intention of going to the shop.

Sirius is unusually quiet, so after a longer while you gather all the courage you can to face him, only to find him fast asleep.

You sigh at the sight of his peaceful, asleep face, you quickly throw a blanket over him (before you can think it through) and head out to actually get something to eat, 'cause you're starving.

When you come back, Sirius wakes up at your arrival.

"H-hi, "he says with a groggy, sleepy voice. He smiles at you like nothing has happened, like everything is normal and it makes you suddenly so so angry.

You drop your grocery bags on the ground and quietly, but sternly ask, "you are embarrassed of me, that's why, right?"

Sirius is quickly woken up from his half asleep state by your mad voice and baffles," e-embarrassed? What? Of course, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," you say exasperatedly, you can feel, that your eyes are filling with tears, " you are!"

Sirius stands up slowly, but steadily and comes closer to you, not entirely close, he still wants to give you some space. "I could never be embarrassed of you, y/n, never."

"Then why?" you ask desperately as one tear rolls down your cheek, Sirius's hand itches to wipe it away.

"Why what? I don't understand," Sirius begs for explanation, while he rakes his mind for an answer to his question as well.

"Y-you keep pretending like I don't even exist, like you don't want me!" you try to suppress the little sob, that escapes your mouth. Sirius wants to fucking beat himself up for making you cry, even if he doesn't really know the reason why yet.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asks stupidly and you sob again.

"What? What? What? The fucking interviews Sirius, I mean them," you pretty much yell it to him, the frustration being too much for you.

Sirius finally understands and the realisation hits him like a crushing wave. He didn't know you were feeling this way about them," why didn't you say anything? I thought, you were okay with keeping our relationship private."

"Private yes, but not to the point you are literally chuckling and saying how incredibly single you are," you argue," that's just wrong. But if you want to be single so badly, i won't fight against it."

"No," Sirius blurts out instantly, " I don't want to be single."

"Then what do you want?" you sniffle.

"You. Just only you, nobody else," Sirius is trying to catch your gaze, but you refuse to look at him, "sweetheart, please look at me."

You hesitate, but eventually you look at him. You notice, that tears aren't only on your face.

"Have you been feeling like this for a long time?" Sirius questions and you nod, he curses under his breath.

"I'm so sorry, i didn't notice. Shit, I'm such an idiot, " he starts and without thinking he takes a few steps closer to you," I'm sorry, angel. If I knew, you were feeling this way, I would have never ever continued denying our relationship. Fuck, It was killing me to stay quiet about us, I wanted to tell them everything about you. Please believe me."

You stay quiet and your sobs slowly start to go away. Sirius waits for you to say something, anything really.

"N-not everything please," you whisper. You can't stay mad at your Sirius long, even if you'd really want to sometimes. It's just not possible to be angry with him, especially when he loves you so much.

"What was that?" Sirius doesn't catch it.

"Don't tell them everything about me please," you tell him as you, after a few days, smile. Truly smile.

Sirius takes it as a permission to finally touch you. He has you in his arms in a matter of seconds, squeezing you oh so tightly, while he laughs happily.

"Does this mean, t-that I am forgiven?" he asks you unsurely, as he reluctantly eases you out of his tight embrace.

"Maybe," you grin at him

"Maybe? What do I have to do to get a yes, huh lovely?" Sirius softly asks, he takes your cheeks into his hands and gently wipes the tears away.

"You could kiss me, you know," you say with a sheepish smile. You look too cute, cheeks red and puffy, for Sirius to say no to you. As if he would every deny you a kiss or anything else for that matter.

He instantly leans it and kisses you, it's soft and maybe a little desperate kiss, but it doesn't matter to you or him.

You let him kiss you as long as you manage without breathing, even if you know there're still things to talk about. You'll talk about it, just later, after you get enough kisses.

[stsgooo]

moonlit goddess.... maybe jinshi is wondering why his dear maid continues to pull away from him... and maybe gao shun lets it slip that "they shouldn't have been close that day anyway".... and jinshi pesters him until he folds n explains.... IDK I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING FOR THOSE TWO :((((( (not forced ofc!! i jus love ur writing!)

Bridge the Gap.

✩࿐ summary: life and death really makes a girl wonder.

warning(s): idiots in love, chapters 61-65 manga spoilers, master/servant like relationship, description of near drowning, suggestive content, ambiguous ending. wc; 9.3k

pairing(s): jinshi/fem!reader.

a/n: tysm for reading my fics means the world to hear ppl actually enjoy them, anon!!! ;') i wasn't really going to make a 2nd part of moonlight goddess as i thought it was okay to leave off there, but i love jinshi sooo i'll take any excuse to write him. this was initially going to be a part 2 of clumsiness, but i figured my plans worked better with what you were envisioning! im not entirely sure how to feel about this, but i hope this lives up to the standards! i apologize for any mistakes, this was written mostly in the early mornings when i had time!

part i. m.list

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

"Y/N, please, stop asking me that."

"Oh, yes. My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry."

This were, admittedly, not going well. Both of you soaked, hair dripping, and standing in the cave behind a rapid waterfall, and a dull ache in your chest as you recovered. Partly your fault, partly the fault of some crazed marksman that was hiding in the forest, trying to slaughter Jinshi and, by proxy, you.

To understand how you two ended up in this situation, we would have to back up a bit.

"Oh? Y/N, I didn't know you'd be attending this as well?"

"It was a last minute switch with Suiren and I."

"You... enjoy these hunts?"

"I've done everything I could to avoid them in the years past."

Your lack of excitement was apparent and clear. It appeared to bring no ease of mind to Maomao who dragged her rather disgusted eyes from you towards Gaoshun. The older man just kept his attention on the moving scenery outside, a distant glaze over his eyes.

Maomao obviously wasn't optimistic. Just like you. You were almost proud that she had caught on so easily.

The sweltering heat outside seemed to seep into the carriage, cooking you alive in your rather formal wear. Something that you were spotted in far and few, having been years that you truly cleaned yourself prim and proper. You had been on the edge of declining even going when Jinshi, with a grin and a certain glitter in his eyes, had too happily informed you that it was a direct invitation from Shishou.

Your fate had been sealed.

Maomao peeked at you from the corner of her eye, head tilted, "Do you mind me asking why you avoided these events?"

You don't even spare her a glance, "I fear if I spoke my honest opinion, I'd stain Jinshi-sama's reputable name with my foul mouth." You reply flatly in return.

"Please don't." Gaoshun said softly from his seat, looking particularly tired.

You decided to ignore the slump of Maomao's shoulders as if disappointed by the swift interruption and decline on Gaoshun's part. Turning your eyes towards the shifting world outside.

It'd been exactly five months since Jinshi had danced under the moon and you came to the conclusion that any impure thoughts you held for your master would be safely tucked away in the back of your mind (and heart). Forever your secret. Only to be heard in your dreams and upon your death, when you repent for any ill thoughts to the Great Man above.

Everything had returned to its normal routine. You would get up in the morning, prepare breakfast alongside Suiren, eat, then proceed with any chores the woman gave you for the rest of the day, then repeat. Equally, your relationship (or lack thereof) with Jinshi had remained the same. Conversations filled with pleasantries. Simple things that had always lingered between the two of you since you were children. Pleasant and simple. As the world shall ever be.

It got a bit ruffled with Jinshi had cornered you and practically ordered that you come to the hunt instead of Suiren.

In the middle of scrubbing away at the floors, he had found you. Stood above you with that grin, “Y/N, you’re one of my most loyal servants, hm?” He’d begun with an inflection in his tone that made you horribly hesitant.

You had faltered in your scrubbing to stare up at him with confusion, “Uh…well, I suppose, Jinshi-sam’s.”

“Why don’t you join me for the Hunt this up coming week?”

Your had heart dropped. And, by the look Gaoshun had dawned, his had too. The Hunt, in your humble opinion, was a glorified weekend for the men in high positions to rub one off while killing animals. It wasn’t something you found interesting in or much grace. That’s why you had declined Suiren’s question on whether or not you’d like to take her place only three days prior. You had no interest in watching anyone, even Jinshi, size each other up while a defenseless animal bled.

“Jinshi-sama, I believe Suiren—“

Ever the gentleman, he had cut you off, “No worries, Suiren agreed to take over matters while you’re gone! She’s the sweetest, right?” He had appeared all to eager and all too himself for you to ignore.

So, with a heavy heart, you’d sighed, accepting defeat and his invitation.

Now, you would find your torture for a multiple day retreat with a bunch of men with their c—

The carriage came to an abrupt halt, bringing an unruly end to your thoughts as you all carefully exited and were greeted by the sunshine. The humid air heavy with the condensation of the area and already making a sweat appear on your brow. But, ever the lady, you pleasantly tuck your hands into your sleeves and follow behind Gaoshun and Basen.

You were a little surprised as Maomao stuck closely to your side; but not all too surprised to find her attention on your surroundings, vague surprise in her eyes. The area was as equally as beautiful as it was a burden to you.

The buildings weren't anything for you to revel at. Spending an entire lifetime within palaces and in buildings as equally or above standard to those, it just wasn't anything special. The nature surrounding the area, however, was something to stare in awe at. Lucious trees, beautiful grass, and beautiful array of plants and flowers. It almost made you regret all the time you had spent away from this place.

But it wasn't like you had the chance to truly return since the last time you were here. Nothing could bring back that little girl.

You deterred your thoughts away as Gaoshun slid the door open. Immediately, you were hit with a wave of heat that you made you tense up. It was apparent that you wouldn't find your much needed cool down you were desperate to find since you were confined in the carriage days prior.

You were the last to enter and when you did, you faltered at the sight before you.

Jinshi was sprawled across the couch, wisps of his dark hair framed his sweat glistened face, eyes closed in contempt. A small dent appeared between his eyebrows and a frown adorned his face. However, your attention was caught on a drop of sweat that made its way from his hairline, down his cheek, his jaw, his long slender neck, and past his— his collar.

His modesty was of no worry, apparently, as he laid with his robes parted open to reveal his chest. Itself was glistening with sweat. Delicate skin on showcase for all to see. It brought a soft blush to your cheeks, as you blatantly ogled him. Pressing your lips together to contain whatever thoughts you had about him from burst from your seams.

"Y/N," Jinshi's voice hit your ears, tender and smooth. You're suddenly hyperaware that he's staring at you with raised brows, lids peeked open to stare at you.

You straighten your back and offer a bow, "Jinshi-sama. Do you require anything?" You had to get it together. It was inappropriate to behave in such a scandalous way. "Request for ice? Tea?"

Jinshi shook his head, sitting up, "No, rather I'd like for you to rest after such a long journey."

You falter, your arms wavering from their position in front of your face, "Uh.... Wouldn't the room be more tolerable with some ice?" You spare a glance around the room and grimace. The windows are shut tight, only bits of sun peeking through the cracks. Basen looks rather miserable, but trying to appear his usual stern self. While Gaoshun and Maomao seem rather okay with showcasing their small discontent with the heat. A nice cube would help at least cool down a bit.

You also couldn't stand another second seeing Jinshi like that. As if he were some type of nymph testing your faith.

"Really, it's fine—" Jinshi attempted, but you were already turning on your heel.

"I will return with ice." You didn't miss the way Jinshi's face fell and his eyes cut to Gaoshun who shook his head in return.

Your fast paced adventure led you to the main hall, where people were moving in and out. Various officers and servants filled the area, finding their rooms or helping their masters and fellow officers to their own rooms. Everyone appeared to be feeling the heat as they wiped their brows. Much like you, they appeared to be attempting to defeat the heat.

You found your way towards an attendant who helped you get something situated for Kousen. Something that brought you both distaste and irritation. Something to be addressed at a later time.

Joy filled you as you turned around, ice would soon be in the room and you could crowd around it like it was a new lover.

As you were about to make your way back to the room, you ran into someone.

You were about to apologize when they whirled around and you let out an audibly sigh that conveyed your unwavering exhaustion for them.

"Hey, watch where— Oh, hey, " Lihaku blinked, kind face twisted up in vague recognition. “You’re that lady-in-waiting. What are you doing out here?”

“I’m on loan from Jinshi-sama,” you answered rather flatly, not missing the small frown accompanying the man’s face.

You were vaguely familiar with Lihaku. What with Maomao getting involved in the problems within the inner and rear palace, you were bound to make new acquaintances when she was dragging you around. Lihaku was the first one you had ran into. On orders to accompany the girl from Suiren, you had gotten to see her investigative skills firsthand. You were impressed, surely, when she had made the discovery about the potatoes. But the impression was overshadowed by Lihaku, who had spent the entire time chatting your ear off.

He was kind, handsome, and smart when it called for it. But you could tell that, like most officers, he had an airheaded vibe to him. One that deterred you from making things too complicated with him.

Friendly enough, and one of the few people that didn't seem to disinterest Maomao, you accepted his very vague and shadowed feature in your life.

"Well, that's nice of him." He said, clearly disinterested in where this conversation was going. "I'm glad to see a friendly face, though."

You offered a small smile, "As am I. Not many kind faces around here often."

"You can say that again." You hear a loud inhuman snort and a tug on your gown, taking a large step back, you look down. A large dog with drool leaking out from the sides of its mouth stared back at you. "Oh, hey, boy, no!"

"O-Oh my." You uttered, slightly breathless as you looked at the large beast.

Lihaku glanced at you, offering a withering smile, "Eh, sorry, he gets excited around new people— not a great trait in a dog like this, you would think, but he's a real gem. Just has his moments. Hey, now—"

Lihaku pulled out something metal and brought it to his lips, then blew. It emitted little to no sound, at least, any you could truly hear, making your perk up when the dog tilted his head and sat respectfully before the officer. He blew again and the dog laid. Again, and the dog stood on all fours.

You smiled softly, watching in wonder as it obeyed whatever silent orders it was getting from Lihaku.

"He's very smart." You observed as the dog sat down again.

"Right?" Lihaku beamed, "I can get him to come running from kilometers away if need be."

"Useful when you're in a bind."

"For sure!" Lihaku's demeanor reminded you of a proud father as he puffed his chest and looked distastefully towards the cages lined up outside. "He's real smart, yet they still want to use those birds in the end."

You didn't want to point out the various problems that could come with using a dog; as there were probably another list of various pros to actually use the dog. The hawks had been used for years and you doubt that some dogs would be taking their place any time soon. It'd probably be a long time before these arrogant men came to their senses and found better means. Despite dogs being loyal and determined to their cause, the hawk would always be chosen.

Or, the better alternative, they didn't do this hunt anymore.

But you knew that was a longshot.

It wasn't long after that you bid Lihaku a farewell and good luck on his duties, making your way back to the room. You exchanged pleasant smiles and greetings with familiar faces, but nothing that kept you from relaxing much longer.

When you returned to the room, everyone had found their own areas and activities to occupy themselves. Gaoshun and Basen were playing Go near the windows, Maomao was reclining on the floor where a sliver or air was flowing through (from where, you weren't completely sure). Jinshi was back to sitting on the couch, a book in his hands. Something that was quickly disregarded as you gently closed the door behind you.

"The ice should be up soon." You informed the room with a respectful bow.

Jinshi didn't look at all interested, "What took you so long?" It sounded like contempt. Irritation if you had to really dig. Something that made you falter.

You look up and see the pout on his lips— childish, as always. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jinshi-sama. I happened to run into a friend and got caught up in conversation." You apologized softly. The last thing you wanted to do was bring him more annoyance and disturbance.

He straightened considerably, "A friend?"

You didn't like the way it was spoken. A touch of disbelief was enough for you to eye him with your own distaste. Even if you and Lihaku were nothing more than strangers with vague familiarity with one another.

"Yes, a friend." You confirmed with thin lips. Despite your inner voice telling you to reign in your attitude, you upturn your nose and decide to join Maomao— whose eyes were shooting between the both of you with trepidation and vague sympathy. "He was being kind."

Jinshi huffed, "I didn't know you had any secret friends."

"Not a secret. Just don't find any time to speak about it with you, Jinshi-sama."

That made the man falter, a darkened shadow over his face. "I suppose." He frowned heavily now, squinting at you with something unreadable. "Who is this friend of yours?"

You, finding no reason to lie, continued on, "Officer Lihaku."

In an instant, three heads snapped to you with varying degrees of emotions. Maomao looked shocked, but welcomed the information with a shrug. Gaoshun looked pale and overwrought, for whatever reason you weren't entirely sure, but you had an itching feeling it had to do with Jinshi.

The same Jinshi that was now face down on the couch, letting out a miserable sound. Speaking into the fabric of it all, unintelligiable. But you swore you heard something along the lines of— "that second rate, again?!" As he continued to rant and cry.

With that, you decided it best to not involve yourself with whatever Jinshi was battling. You wouldn't win anyway.

You'd always hated Kousen-sama.

He almost always seemed to loom in the shadows. An masked man who held no personality or words of his own. Pleasantries offered out of necessity and not because that was simply the right thing to do. He was mysterious. He hardly appeared, but he was always there. A reminder for what things would return to one odd day. A symbol for exactly where your loyalties and master lied.

Kousen-sama was to always appear before others with his mask on. To avoid them seeing the ghastly sight of scars and blemishes that adorned his skin because of his sickness (whatever that may be) and spare him the indecency of stares. He was unmoving. Stone amongst he lively environment that ate away at their lunches and softly conversed with one another.

Prince. The respectable Kousen-sama. The great son of the empire. The brave prince against all odds.

Oh, how much you hate Kousen-sama.

But you still had woken up early to help him pin his hair back. To slip his robes on. To delicately place the mask on, fingering the bangs out through the slits to allow some type of familiarity. You were his confidant. His reliable and kind servant.

As always, you and Basen stood behind Kousen-sama with your backs straight and eyes ahead. A pleasant servant on loan and stern guard, you both were familiar faces against the unrecognizable figure in front of you. It reminded the people exactly who was before them. Exactly who had decided to grace their presence.

Still, it brought you discomfort.

You still eyed Gaoshun in the corner of you eye. The older man sat at the other end of the table. Maomao standing behind him with a distant look in her eyes, obviously not paying attention to the things happening around her. Not entirely surprising, but you felt the overwhelming urge to scold her for her lack in etiquette.

Oh, you're starting to think like Suiren, aren't you?

Suddenly, Basen is tensing up beside you and Kousen-sama is turning his head away from a scowling Shishou. Your eyes snap between the two with a scowl of your own. Whatever that man had said—

Kousen-sama's hand clenches. So tightly that his knuckles turn white and he shakes. You know something isn't right. You had missed something. Something so obvious and you were too concerned about Gaoshun.

The man stands from his chair, the legs loudly clattering against the tiled and stone floor. You watch uneasily as Kousen-sama raises, takes a moment to collect himself, then practically speeds away from the room. You don't waste a moment to bring your sleeve covered hands to your mouth and make your own exit.

As you pass a concerned Maomao and Gaoshun, you hear a barely uttered whisper from the girl— heat. Food.

You try to hide your confusion and worry as you follow behind your master.

It doesn't take you long to find him.

Down the path, up against a tree, the masked figure was hunched and obviously breathing heavily. You draw closer, outstretching a hand to gently press it against the large expanse of his back.

"Kousen-sama, are you quite alright?" You ask softly, hunching slightly to capture a glimpse of his eyes from that slit in the fabric.

When you do, you're almost breathless. His violet eyes are alight with something distant and scornful. Eyebrows furrowed as he meets your own gaze.

"Y/N...?" He sounded vaguely surprised under it all, breathless himself. As if he couldn't quite believe that you were here in front of him.

You nod once, reaching out and grabbing ahold of one of the ties keeping the mask all together. "I'm going to remove this. No one is around."

His hand is suddenly wrapped around your wrist. Not tight or unrelenting, but enough to make you freeze. Warm and clammy skin against your own to make you feel scorched. You don't need to see his entire face to know that his jaw was clenched now.

"I can't," he said in all his self-assuredness, "Someone might still come."

What a pain. You thought to yourself as you draw in a heavy breath.

You don't waste a second to slip under his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and allowing him to lean most of his weight against you. "No worries, sir, I'll just find us some place where no one else is around."

You gently guide Kousen-sama from the line of trees and deep within it. Finding an oddly familiar path created within your mind to follow that takes you towards an overflowing waterfall. A loud crash of water hitting the rocks and body of water below that brought you a distant sense of comfort. The refreshing smell of the water hits your nostrils and you take a deep breath.

With Kousen-sama against you, you felt the sweltering heat hit you tenfold. But the mist from the waterfall brushed against your skin like a gently caress from an old lover.

This is it.

You stumble over to one of the few trees next to the waterfall and gently guide Kousen-sama to sit up against it. The man took a heavy breath and you finally felt a little at ease. Reaching forward, you moved to take the cloth off once again and then—

A loud thud and chunks of dirt hit your cheek.

You frowned, looking to the ground only a could feet away and saw a small crater. A sharp smell filled your senses and you stiffened. It was an unkind and almost putrid scent. The smoke from the small crater was the main cause.

"Eh—?"

You were suddenly cut off as Kousen-sama wrapped his arms around you, jerking you upwards and away from the tree. You would've basked in the way his body was pressed against your back or the way his fingers seemed to mold into your abdomen— you would've if it weren't for the loud crack in the air then the pieces of bark that flew through the air around you.

The tree that he had been pressed up against only moments ago was now split open with a piece of metal imbedded into the wood. It looked eerily similar to the same that had been in the ground moments ago.

"Is that a feifa?!" His voice pierced through your thoughts, oddly frantic and uneasy as he moved quickly from the tree and towards the river.

You glanced up at him and found him already staring down at you. Eyes narrowed and, if it weren't for the mask, his entire face would be scrunched up in that familiar distaste and panic. Yet he seemed eerily calm as he dragged you through the trees and into the water.

"Sorry, but this is gonna get a bit dramatic." His voice was soft against your head, warm breath caressing your hair as he wraps a protective arm around your head.

Your eyebrows raise, "Dramatic— WHAT?" You should've known his tone and choice of his words were a warning for what was to come, but you were still caught off guard.

He gave no indication that he was going to jump off the cliff.

"Jinshi, you goddamn idiot!"

You mustn't get ideas above your station.

The water was oddly clear. Even with the mix of the overflowing waterfall, under it all was peaceful and calm. Fishes and water like insects lived in harmony.

Cool and calm. Always.

You are there to serve your master.

The little boy's head burst from the water with a big grin, short hair flat against his head and dripping. The sun reflecting off his violet eyes and almost blinded the little girl curled up on the side shore. Her face set into a scowl, clothes drenched, and a looming unimpressed older man behind her.

"It's so nice out, why don't you come in!" Beckoned the boy from the water.

The little girl shot him a nasty look, "You know why, you jerk!"

The boy's grin faltered, tilting his head at his friend, "Eh? Why are you being mean?" His voice wavered on the ends, still just floating in the middle of the basin.

"I'm not mean! You're mean! You're the biggest meanie!" The little girl stood up to throw an accusatory finger at the boy, her sleeve heavy and uncomfortable as she moved.

The boy's face reddened, eyebrows scrunched together, "I'm not mean! You're mean!" He repeated.

"No, you are! You're the biggest meanie in the whole wide world!"

"No, you are!"

"You are! You pushed me into the water!"

"You are! You should swim!"

"I hope you drown, meanie!"

The boy's expression fell completely. A heartbroken glint in his eyes flooding them. His lips trembled. But, before he could do something like cry, he was already swimming deeper

Nothing less, nothing more.

"Now, now," a large hand rested on the little girl's shoulder and gently tugged her back, turning her around to face the man. He seemed to be trying to appear as tender as he could to try calm down the girl's high nerves. "No need to get angry."

"But, Gaoshun—" The little girl whined.

Gaoshun shook his head, patting her shoulder, "No, we don't argue. Try to forgive and forget, yeah?" He reminded the lessons that he'd attempted multiple times to teach the two children. "No reason to walk around with resentment for others, right?"

The little girl scoffed her shoe against the ground, a pout on her lips, "Do I have to, Gaoshun?" She knew what this would call for. Exactly how this would end for her.

The man heaved a sigh, nodding, "Yes, you do. Now, go reconcile. I'll wait here."

The girl faltered as the man raised to his full height, cupping his hands behind his back. She dragged her feet through the soft soil and found her way towards the boy once more. He was grasping onto the edge of the bank, sniffling and snorting. His shoulders shook and his face was stuffed into his arms.

The little girl frowned. "Um... Are you okay?"

The boy stiffened, not turning around as he answered, "No."

"I'm sorry, I said something real mean." The little girl uttered, stepping closer as she clutched her wet clothes. "I just... You pushed me into the water, I can't..."

"I thought you were my friend!" The little boy whirled around on her, face red and eyes filled with big tears. He looked enraged but incredibly disheartened. The girl blinks in return as the boy glares. "You say such mean things to me. Friends aren't supposed to be mean!"

The girl clenched her jaw, "You were mean to me first!" She accused.

The boy sniffled, wiping under his nose with his forearm. "You're my friend." He repeated as if that cleared up any anger.

Nothing more, nothing less.

The little girl slowly sat beside him, her feet dipping under the water. "It is nice." She whispered.

The little boy dragged his eyes upwards, looking hurt but hopeful. "Right?" he asked, equally as quiet.

"You're my friend too, Jinshi." The little girl nudge him with her leg.

Jinshi's eyes twinkled, wide and all too bright, "Really?"

"Really." The little girl confirmed with a toothless grin. "My friend forever and ever!"

Jinshi positively beamed, the water sloshing as he jumped happily. "Forever and ever, and ever!"

"And ever!"

"It's no longer... appropriate for you and Jinshi-sama to be friends."

"I don't... I don't understand. He's my friend."

"His mother no longer finds it appropriate for you to concern yourself with Jinshi."

"But, Gaoshun—"

"No, Y/N. It's over. Come along. Suiren has a present for you."

"He's.... He's my friend...."

"I'm so sorry."

You are to give your life to your master.

The woman paused, back pin straight, as she entered her master's office, finding him curled up in the corner, muttering nonsensically to himself. The guard of said master was watching on with a pitiful expression of his own, only breaking his eyes away when the woman entered the room. His expression only seemed to deepen.

She didn't need to ask. There was an unspoken understanding as to what their master's breakdown was regarding. The Apothecary. The one that had gotten the attention of everyone in the palace as of late. The one that had been causing her great grief as of late— and was about to create more.

"Jinshi-sama?" The woman called softly, stepping closer.

Jinshi's lifeless eyes continued to stare at the floor below him. A gentle rocking seeming to soothe himself from the rages of his mind. "I don't need anything, Y/N. Thank you, kindly." He uttered just as lifelessly.

The devoted servant's chest clenched. Her face flushed as she reached out a wavering hand. To place it delicately against his hunched back. To offer her best comforting words that she could. To distract him away from her.

Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

She faltered. This wasn't her place. This wasn't a part of her duties unless Jinshi said so. Inappropriate behavior wasn't called for. It will be punished severly.

Retracting her hand, she stands, and offers a respectful bow. "Please call me if you need anything, Jinshi-sama." And left him in his dark corner.

"Gaoshun, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, Jinshi-sama."

"You have been in my life for as long as I can remember. You remember more than I possibly could about my younger years. Whatever happened to cause me and Y/N to fall apart?"

"...."

"It had to be around the time I was eight that I noticed we were growing apart. Even now, I see it so clearly."

"It's been a long time, Jinshi-sama. You're no longer children."

"All the more reason to know, isn't it?"

"I don't know...."

"Gaoshun, nothing will come of it. I'm simply curious."

"..."

"I'm sorry to put you in this position. Please return to what you were doing."

"Jinshi-sama.... you might not like the truth..."

"I usually don't."

"Where to begin.... Before her eighth birthday—"

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"H....E—"

Everything felt so muffled. Faraway. Featherlight.

Was that a pressure against your chest? A thump that came into quick successions, then stopped. For something soft and ever so delicate to press against your lips?

Everything was distant. So far away from your grasp. From your state of being. As if you were already long gone from whatever reality you were in moments ago.

"H—"

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It was almost like floating. A gentle sway and a crack.

A joyful gliding against the sky that soothed you away from worries and woes.

Thump. Thump. Lips.

Repeating endlessly. Happily. Wetly?

Thump. Thump. Lips.

You welcomed it. Whatever it was. Whatever kept the rhythm. The wonderful rhythm.

Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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THUMP. THUM—

You shot up with a cough.

Your throat burned and head ached terribly. Your eyes almost felt like they were about to pop out of your head and roll away. You felt horrible.

It didn't help that you were drenched from head to toe either.

Beside you, there was a heavy and loud sigh of relief as he fell to his backside. He let a silence fall over you both as you recovered, hand pressed against your throat and heaving.

Jesus. Had you almost...

The thought alone almost made you sick.

"I'm sorry. I thought.... I didn't think you still couldn't swim." His voice was soft, barely heard over the waterfall. Kind and cautious, worried and terrified. Things that seeped from his tone as if it were bleeding out and bearing all its insides to you.

Exposing him to you.

You peeked over your loose strands of hair to glare viciously at him. "When would I have the time to learn to swim?" You shot back ruthlessly, not entirely caring from etiquette in this moment. "You've lost your mind."

"Right." Jinshi immediately agreed, almost looking fearful as he watched you.

You push yourself up and take in a deep breath, coughing slightly at the burn of your throat. Taking in your surroundings, you swore that this was that—

"Are you really alright?"

You glanced back at the man and found him still sat on the damp ground. His eyebrows are furrowed and a small frown on his lips as he stared up at you. It made you uncomfortable. To see such a glittering violet staring back at you earnestly. Honestly.

You instead clutch onto your dress, "Suiren is gonna kill me." You scoff, tugging the garments apart.

You could hear Jinshi sputter behind you. The gravel and dirt below him crunching as he probably scrambled up from his spot.

You spared a feeble look over your shoulder to find him with his eyes clenched slowed, hand covering your body from his gaze. You snap your gaze back around and tug the fabric a little too hard as you scoff.

You wouldn't deny the pang of hurt that clenched your chest.

"Don't worry, Jinshi-sama, you won't have to see my unruly body of mine for long. I just want to make sure Suiren doesn't slaughter me when we return."

"I— No, I'm just— okay." He finally muttered.

You are stripped down to your underthings, placing the dress and various pieces on the ground as delicately as you can to avoid too much dirt being stained into the fabric.

As you place the last bit of clothing down, you hear the flutter of fabric behind you.

Jinshi is a bright red, gently tossing his robe down behind him. His back is facing you and you know its for whatever mock sense of modesty he wants to give the both of you. You instinctively reach out and take his robe in your grasp, twisting it and squeezing it to watch out a fair amount of water drip out.

"You worry about mine later. Take care of your things first."

Yeah, right, You think as you twist it with an unrelenting grip. You are there to serve your master. It's one of the first things you learn. His needs came before your own. His needs were your needs.

Jinshi snatched the robe away and squeezed the fabric tight, an overflowing amount of water released from the cloth and into the ground.

Okay, so maybe he was better at it than you.

You nod, turning your attention towards your own garments and try to ignore the overwhelming feeling that you had eyes on your rear.

"So, um—" Jinshi cleared his throat when his eyes dragged away from you, cheeks a bright red. "What now?"

"Well, we could attempt at trying to swim back—"

"You can't swim."

"I was going to say that."

"Oh, sorry."

There's a soft silence between the both of you as you finish up. Gently redressing, you make your way towards the entrance of the cave, where the waterfall is blocking it from any negative eyes. You press your lips into a thin line and regard it bitterly. You remember this waterfall.... you could recall the times you whimsical pondered what it'd be like to ride down it like in those stories.

Jinshi had promised such when you both were too young and too dumb to realize how naïve dreams like that were.

You couldn't really judge that mini-you, for you had your own dreams of—

"Remember when Gaoshun first brought us here?"

You hadn't realized that Jinshi made his way over until he was standing beside you. Robes lose over his shoulders and tugging on his top layer. Violet eyes were watching the water as if it were a canvas of memories in the long distant past. Something to be admired and viewed with daisies and smiles. Not to be addressed as anything but good or amazing. Not to see the truth of it all.

You press your lips together, drawing in a heavy breath, "I remember you pushing me in the water and Gaoshun having to pull me out."

Jinshi's face screws up slightly, a faint blush on his features as he almost looks around with shame. "Right...." He straightens, "I'm sorry."

You blink, "Huh?"

Jinshi glances at you with a small smile, "I, uh, never really apologized back then. Made you apologize like you did something wrong." He explains weakly.

You raise an amused brow, "I told you I wished you would drown."

"I kinda deserved it!" Jinshi counters, his lips cracking into a grin. That charming grin he gets that makes your heart flutter. Make you hopeful for terrible and wistful. "I'm real sorry."

You smile softly, eyes kind and soft as you regard him, "I forgave you a long time, Jinshi-sama."

Jinshi's expression faltered, "Don't call me...." He trailed off awkwardly, turning his attention back to the unrelenting waterfall. You watched him for that moment. That split second where it looked like he was actually going to say something that would make you lightheaded. His jaw working and the muscle jumping as he seems to contemplate his next words.

Say anything and I'll cling to it, You think, watching his lips part, I always have. I always will.

"I'm surprised you were the one that followed me out. I thought the Apothecary might've done it."

You tense. That was certainly not what you expected him to say. Of all the things he could say? The Apothecary.

The waterfall in front of you is suddenly much too loud and violent. The cave seems to darken and your eyes drag from Jinshi to stare at your bare feet. Of course. Of course. Why wouldn't he want Maomao? Why had you even came here? Who were you to get between whatever silent signal he was trying to send to the other girl.

Him and Maomao. It was nicer than him and you. Jinshi and Y/n.

You straighten, pushing down any ill thoughts and heavy feelings into the dark pits of your chest and mind. "I apologize for the intrusion. I thought it'd make more sense for me to accompany you, Jinshi-sama."

"Why are you apologizing....?" He trailed off and then made a noise that sounded eerily similar to that of a caught man. "No, wait, I'm really glad that you're the one who came! Like really glad!"

"You don't have to spare me, Jinshi-sama. I'm a woman now, not a little girl."

"I'm not—" He visibly slumps, closing his eyes and trying to collect whatever thoughts he has and place them appropriately. He draws in a breath and faces you, looking oddly serious compared to his usual self. "I'm not trying to spare your feelings. I was just trying to say that— Well, it's not— I want you here, Y/n."

He's sparing your feelings. He's being kind. He doesn't actually want you there. You can't be friends.

You don't spare him a response. Instead, walking further into the cave. You raise your eyebrows, looking at the gaping hole above you where light and the sounds of nature filtered in. What could possibly get you both out of there...?

Whistle. Sit.

Of course. Him.

Jinshi sighs, "I spoke to Gaoshun before we—"

You place your fingers in the corner of your mouth and blow. A loud whistle bounces off the cave walls and out of the hole. You wait and hope to hear a bark or see the familiar tall man, but there's nothing.

"What are you doing?" Jinshi asks slowly, glancing between you and the hole above.

"Hello?" You cup your hands over your mouth and shout as loudly as you can. "Is anyone out there?"

Jinshi frowns, staring at you uneasily, "Y/n, please, we don't want to attract them this direction."

In the mess of almost drowning and seeing peeps of Jinshi's bare skin, you'd almost forgotten that you both had been chased down here by some violent assassin. Rather foolish, if you were honest.

You place the tips of your fingers against your lips and try to force the blush spreading across your cheeks off. "Sorry." You offer a bow of your head, despite the position you both find yourselves in.

You receive no response which causes you to peek at him. The stare that he's leveling you with doesn't bring you any type of comfort. It usually meant he was about to say something that—

"Hop on my back and see if you can reach up there."

—you wouldn't like.

Your eyebrows shot upwards and you stared at him with wide eyes. If Suiren was here and knew what he just proposed, she'd positively lose her mind. No matter how long she had known you— she'd think it improper. He was your boss and you were his lowly servant. To be in an position above him or treating him like a mat, it was...

It was simply ridiculous.

"But—"

"If you're the one below, you'll get crushed." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder. "Do it."

And that's how you ended up here. Legs wrapped around Jinshi's shoulders and heads, hand reaching out for the dirt above. You dig your fingers in and glance down at the man below you.

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

Jinshi sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that day, his hand on your thigh squeezing gently. "Y/N, please stop asking me that."

You grimace, "My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry." You shakily raise from your place, ignoring the soft and deep grunt Jinshi gives as you stand on his shoulders.

You dig your nails into the damp dirt and begin to tug yourself up.

This is it. Finally, you could get into the open forest once again. You're not going to be suffocated by his presence. Everything will return back to its rightful places—

You froze when it smacked you in the forehead.

You tried to keep calm as you felt the slimy breathing thing rest on your skin. Body tensed up and eyes staring widely at the bright sky above.

"Y/N?" Jinshi softly called, noticing the way you tensed.

"F—Frog." You utter, jaw clenched tight and you felt it shift as you take a deep breath. "A frog."

Jinshi blinked, looking up at you with his own wide eyes, "Hey, don't-don't freak out! Just shake your head and it'll hop off."

You shake a little, but follow his instructions. However, you may have overestimated the shake as you lose your grip on the dirt and begin to fall back.

"Hey!"

The tumble down is short and not all that hurtful, like you had been expecting. You had closed your eyes in anticipation, fear of having to watch the ground quickly approach too much for your tiny heart. You expected to feel the damp mud to be seeping into your clothes and little bits of stone and bark digging into your skin. However—

Nothing.

There was nothing except the soft silk under your fingers. The scent that resembled a sweet fruit, one that you had smelt quite often in the mornings. In the noons, the evenings, the nights, repeat. You knew that smell and that familiar beat against your own chest.

Peeking your eyes open, you find that Jinshi is already staring back at you. The first thing you notice is that you both are extremely close to one another. His breath fans against your dewy face, making goosebumps raise off your skin and a shiver sent down your spin. Next is his tender expression, Eyes gentle and twinkling. His expression isn't filled with pain or anything that would indicate that he was uncomfortable with the very short distance between you both. The last thing you notice is the fact that your body is pressed against his.

Your complexion flushes and you blink down at him.

He's warm. Incredibly warm. A sharp contrast to his damp clothes, which are open and pooling under his shoulder blades, revealing his bare chest to you. Your breath is ripped from you as you stare at the plump skin. You've seen it a million times. Every day as you help him get ready for the day. It should be normal. Should be something that doesn't make you lightheaded.

But it does.

He's right there. Right against you. You can feel his heartbeat ramming against his chest and into yours. You can feel every small breath he takes—as if hanging onto this moment with, what? Trepidation? Unease? You weren't entirely sure but you knew that you felt light.

Was it so bad that you felt nice in this moment? That this warmth was wrong? Was it so out of your reach that you simply couldn't imagine a man wanting to embrace you in a way?

You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

Yes. It was.

You clenched your jaw, ignoring the tender look in Jinshi's eyes as you try to bring your mind into the present.

The frog.

It wasn't anything that you wanted to touch, but Jinshi was your master. Your discomforts and fears must be pushed away for his sake and needs.

Reaching down, you feel for any signs of the frog. It wasn't large, but it wasn't entirely small either. It wouldn't be hard to find in all it's slimy and— There it is.

Your hand brushed it and you feel almost elated to find it. Your hand cupped around the bulge from Jinshi's robes. It feels much bigger than the average frog that'd been on your forehead. It was unmoving to, except for the small twitch it gives as you rest your palm down. You gripped it.

"Hng," Jinshi grunts, his eyes close. You're a little shocked as his hips shift, his hands at your hips dig into your flesh, almost too eager. You snap your eyes upward to his suddenly sweating and flushed face. "I-I'm sorry, but... but could you move your hand? It's making things, um, rather difficult."

Difficult?

You grip onto the twitching frog below you—

"U-Uh—" Jinshi moans in a deep and guttural way that would make anyone, especially you, malfunction. It doesn't help that his hands latch onto you harder, pressing you closer and releasing a stuttering breath against your ear.

Why was he squirming so much? Why was his face so red and dripping with sweat? Why was his chest heaving and his hands flexing around your skin? And why was this thing twitching and getting bigger in your hold....

Oh.

Oh.

You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

You felt a little sick at your intrusion. At the gall. You couldn't believe yourself. You had violated one of the single rules you were ever given. You violated Jinshi's space. His entire being. You were to be punished and hated— ousted from your position.

Disgusted with yourself, you slowly stand up. Jinshi's softly panting from his position on the ground, running a hand through his mused hair.

"S-Sorry, I haven't— I'm a bit—" Jinshi's obviously embarassed and uncomfortable. Look what you've done. You've ruined it all. "Hey, where are you going?"

Before you could think much more as his hands grip your hips once again and pull you down.

You're sat on his his lap and you could feel it.

"J-Jinshi-sama, I'm so-I'm so sorry!" You tucked your head down, shaking with trembling lips.

Jinshi's hands fall to your thighs, limp, "Eh...?"

"What I did was truly inappropriate and-and I will take any and all punishment!"

"Punishment...?" He sounded terribly confused, still a bit breathless. You keep your head ducked and he remains unmoved. "Why would I... you're not getting punished."

"I give my life to you. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished." You repeated softly under your breath, tucking your hands against your face to hide away from his gaze. From the judgement and hatred. "It's only just."

There's a longstanding silence between the both of you and you're hopeful that he's coming to his senses. That you'd be released and freed. That you would finally accept the gap and space between them. To fall away, finally, to the shadows.

It was tarnished the moment Jinshi wraps your hands around your own, gently prying your hands away from your face.

He doesn't look vengeful or angered. No. No, he looks kind. As he always has been. Kind and considerate. Honest and open. He'd always been so...

He'd never really been angry with you. Not without sadness being overbearing. Always so quick to forgive you. To push everything away with a smile and crinkle of his eyes.

"Y/N..." His words are as soft as his expression.

Your hands shake, "Please... Please hate me." You pleaded quietly, pressing your forehead against his hands as if he were a monk to be begged to.

"I'm not going to punish you or... or anything of the sort. Why would you want that?"

You draw in a watery breath, shoulders shaking, "It's easier to let go that way." You admitted.

"Let go of what?"

"Of my love for you."

"What?!"

His shout echoed off the cave walls. Your humiliation and embarrassment was quick to follow once it bounced back at you. Made you flinch back and try to push yourself back from his lap. Why did you say anything? Fool. Disgusting fool.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jinshi's hands wrap around your wrists and tug you forward a bit. You refuse to meet his eye. You refuse to be humiliated and demeaned— "Don't do that. Don't close off."

You clench your jaw and try to push the humilation deep within you, taking a deep calming breath as you stared at his bare collar. "You're so kind and so... you. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable or disgusted, but I need to tell you. And then I would hope that you would let me go."

Jinshi's eyebrows shot up. "Let you go?"

You've been thinking about this for some time. That it all would be better if, in the end, you were to serve someone else. That you were pawned off for some soldier instead of this slow torture. This uncomfortable, unbearable tiptoeing.

"I would like for you to offer me to a soldier or anywhere else."

The reaction is instant. The way Jinshi's complexion darkens and he stares at you with wide eyes. He slumps into the damp ground and almost turns into putty. His hold on you slackens and gives you ample opportunity to move away. But you're frozen in your spot.

"Why would I do that?" Jinshi's voice is quiet, slow, "You're... You're mine."

A blush takes over your cheeks, "Jinshi-sama, It's not appropriate! I shouldn't be like this with you."

"What if I like it?"

You blink at him. "Huh?"

Jinshi leans forward, his thumb gently skirting against your skin. "What if I have some love for you too? What if I don't care about what's appropriate or follows the rules."

I would ask who you are. You were tempted to say but your mouth was clamped shut in shock. Following the rules had been completely him. He was put in his current position now to ensure the rules in the rear palace were being followed diligently. The thought that he would love someone like you when there were people like Maomao or princesses out there. People much more deserving of his devotion. It wasn't right.

As if sensing you're not believing him, he pulls away and presses his lips thin. "Okay, I'll convince you." He straightens up and takes a breath. "I spoke to Gaoshun not too long ago. Before we came here and I know everything now."

A pause. Everything. He knew everything now? Everything is so much. Everything is... well, everything. What exactly had Gaoshun told him?

"What's everything?"

"That my mother didn't want you around anymore. That Gaoshun told you that you weren't allowed around me anymore. That you stopped being my friend and became my employee."

Your stare up at Jinshi with wide eyes. "That's not...Us being friends wasn't right anymore."

Jinshi frowned, shaking his head and his hands slide up to your arms. "If I had my way, I would've had you by my side all that time. Not as some lady-in-waiting, but as my equal."

You shake your head, ignoring the erratic beating of your heart against your chest. "Don't say that. Don't say things you don't mean, Jinshi." You beg softly.

Jinshi reaches out, wrapping his hands around your own, pressing it against his chest. "I mean it with everything in me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have ever been separated from you. Forget what my mother said." His words were sweet, tempting. They made you lightheaded. So did the sudden brightness and tender smile on his face. "That's the first time you've called me Jinshi since we were kids."

"What? I've always called you Jinshi."

"No, you've always called me Jinshi-sama."

"Oh."

You suppose you had.

"Jinshi," You utter, unsure of what else you both could say.

Jinshi's expression, if possible, softens further, leaning forward an inch. "Yes?" He whispers back just as softly.

Your eyes trail between his eyes before moving to his lips, parted and glistening, "Jinshi..."

Jinshi's hand slides up your thigh and his lips are ghosting against yours, "I'm here. I promise." He whispers before pressing your lips together delicately.

Your heart soars. Your hands shakily press against his cheeks, drawing closer as his own press your hips together. He's soft. He's tender. He's cautious and all encompassing. Filling your senses and making you lightheaded.

As you both part for a breath, he flips you onto your back. His hand grips the underside of your thigh and presses you close enough that he lets out a soft and broken sound.

His eyes are heavily lidded as he gazes down at you, lips pink. "I just want you. No one else. I promise." He utters.

You twist your hands into his hair, eyes fluttering. "You're it." You pass back.

His lips are back on yours. Wet and eager. This is sudden. Fast. But you've been waiting for so long. Had been clinging onto the smallest of things. Desperate to have this closeness that you had now. To feel his skin against yours. His breath mixing with your own. Everything him and everything you intertwined.

You just wanted to cherish this—

WOOF!

You and Jinshi both tense up, jumping. Looking over his shoulder, your eyes widen upon finding a familiar dog staring down at you both, wagging tail eager and happy to see you.

Jinshi's eyebrows furrow, "Huh...?"

There's not much warning before the dog is jumping down. Landing straight on Jinshi's back, causing the poor man to let out a pained sound. He's squishing you against the ground as the dog stands on his back, happily lapping his tongue against your cheek.

Vague disgust and disappointment wash over you, but you smile all the same. "Oh, boy!"

He barks again. A greeting you're sure.

Above, Lihaku and, surprisingly, Maomao appear. Both of them stare down at you with varying degrees of emotions. Lihaku looked excited and kinda like his dog, while Maomao.

Well, Maomao looked all too knowing.

"Well, you look rough!" Lihaku called down with a grin, "Glad to see you're not dead."

"As am I!" You huff out a laugh, then look to Maomao. "Hello, Xiaomao!"

"Hello." Maomao said flatly, she looked lower and her face screwed up distastefully. "Is Jinshi-sama okay?"

Lihaku then he spots his dog and slightly pales, letting out a sharp whistle. "C'mon, boy!"

The dog eagerly jumps off Jinshi, going to sit by your head and wag his tail. The man above you sighs in relief, pushing up off you. He sits up and you try not to focus on the bright blush on his face.

"Why did he do that?" The royal asks.

"Must've thought something was wrong." Lihaku rubs the back of his neck, frowning down at you both. "What... exactly where you two doing?"

You and Jinshi glance at one another, furious blushes flushing over you both. Despite anything that Jinshi said, there were things that you weren't allowed to do. Rules and laws that forbid something like this form happening the public eye. For a man like himself from being with a woman like you. A servant with a beautiful prince.

Protecting him was the priority.

"Nothing!" You shout back, ignoring the eyebrow raise that garnered from both Jinshi and Maomao.

Everything was better left alone. A secret between the both of you. To cherish and hold for however long it may need. You could deal with the anger and longing later.

[kimingyuslover]

shattered promises

synopsis: in a relationship marked by constant arguments and unfulfilled promises, you seek clarity from Jeonghan about your future together.

word count: 1,543

genre: angst

warning: tears, jeonghan is an asshole, 6 and a half year relationship!!! lower case intended

a.n: kinda rushed ending(?), i had a writer block while making this t__t, hope y'all enjoy this, also i finally updated something on my account lol

argument after argument keeps happening inside of your relationship with him, whether it's because of something small or big.

the argument will always die down after a few hours, in the past, maybe. after a long journey of a ride, you think you have enough of it, you need certainty in your relationship.

"Do you plan on taking our relationship to a serious level?" you ask, breath shaking, and your voice seems to waver.

he's silent, not wanting to answer your question, because he knew he'd say the same thing– he's not ready. You go from the living room to your shared bedroom, take your large suitcase, and start to load all of your belongings.

while Jeonghan stays seated on the living room couch, his mind running hundreds of miles per hour, he just needs to wait for your reaction. either you'll lock yourself in your shared bedroom like you always do or the worst thing that he could ever imagine, you broke the relationship you have with him.

Jeonghan, initially optimistic that the argument will blow over like before, realises with dread that this time it's different.

after a few minutes pass he heard the ruffled sound from the upstairs, when he walked with hurry to the staircase, all he saw were you with 3 of your luggage that he's sure its filled with your commodities.

no, no, no, he's not expecting this to happen because that argument was there every time you guys are overwhelmed by something, and in the end, he will make it up to you.

"I've made up my mind" you said to him, still a little struggling carrying all of your suitcases, Jeonghan eyes widened in fear, the woman he was supposed to love till the end of his life is going to go from his life, and possibly forever.

“you're everything i want, Jeonghan–

no more baby, no more my love, no more pet names that he adored so much when he heard that from your mouth

–you always said to me that i’m the one, but i always feel i wasn't, i always feel that you're my savior, but all i want is to live and not just survive. i love you, Jeonghan, i really love you and i still do" there's a loud silence when you confess your heart's deepest message.

Jeonghan opens his mouth but closes it eventually when he realises he doesn't know what to say to you.

“you're inconsistent and always tell me that you're not ready about being in a more serious relationship whilst we are going to have a 7 year anniversary. i already told you from the beginning that i want to have more serious relationship if the age of it is already pass 4” Jeonghan can hear your silent sobs, his heart shatter everytime he heard the sad sound coming from you, wanting to make everything right again.

“but i guess i'm hoping too much, i shouldn't be putting hope to you when i first asked you at our 5 year anniversary, it may be selfish of me for thinking this way, thinking that maybe you want to be wed to me as much as i want to be wed to you, i'm always wrong. thank you for the memory though, i've learned a lot from this” with that you drag your suitcases and walk past Jeonghan whose legs are pinned to the floor, even when he heard the closing of that one door.

you're still hoping that Jeonghan would at least chase after you, telling you he's sorry and all.

you knew you shouldn't be hoping so much because even after 10 minutes walking in the long void hallway, Jeonghan is still not coming from the apartment door you once shared.

in a matter of seconds, your lift soon reaches the ground floor and opens directly to the lobby.

you stepped off the lift, dragged your luggage, and searched for a taxi to take you away from the building that now you consider being the place to remember bad memories.

meanwhile, Jeonghan is still seated at his couch, replaying every word you say to him earlier. His brain is still processing everything that happens, the argument, confusion, and regret fully filling his head.

all he knows is, the next second, his brain finishes, swallowing every piece of information he got, tears already staining both of his cheek, and it's too late to chase you.

he hurriedly searches for his phone, wanting to call you, but he halts his movement, thinking that you would want some space after the big argument.

so he didn't call you.

and now it's been approximately 3 and a half years since he last saw you, he left his hometown to go to italy for his work project with Woozi.

and now he's back, Incheon airport welcomed his styled jet black hair that's shaved into an undercut, with a black trouser, white short sleeve button up, sneakers and black framed sunglasses.

even when he was working overseas he couldn't stop thinking about you, about the memories and the heartbreak that he still can feel everytime he remembers that.

he's hoping that this time, you will gave him another chance, because he's ready now, to be in a serious commitment with you.

in fact, he already has the ring on him, he just has to find you again, making you his again and you will live happily ever after.

he still lives in the old apartment, he refuses to let go of your memories with him, whether it's a bad or good memory.

he picked up his mail from the receptionist, giving him a smile before walking to the lift carrying his things.

A few minutes pass and he finally arrives at his apartment.

after he takes a shower and gets dressed, he wants to start opening his mail one by one, but something catches his eyes, an envelope with your name on it.

he carefully takes the mail, there’s something he's unsure about. yes, it is your name, but below that there's another man's name – Choi Seungcheol.

he opens it, and he doesn't even think he can handle his heart breaks again, but it does happen.

it was your wedding invitation, with that man.

all of his hope was getting crushed by the simple “we're getting married!” text inside of the invitation and the pre-wedding photos of you and seungcheol.

all of it was beautiful, but it's not him who you married, it was not your wedding invitation, it was not his intention when he came back overseas.

the things he had in his mind long gone, only filled with the regret that starts to fill up his body painfully slowly.

he curses under his breath, tears streaming down his face, nothing can't stop it anymore, his sobs are getting louder.

but nothing matters anymore, later things he knows he's seated on the church bench while clasping both of his hands tightly, not sure if he's ready to see you sharing your vows with your soon-to-be husband.

the music starts to play, all the guests turn around to see the big door opens then there's you and your father. The gown fits your form gracefully with the veil covering your face and there's crown on your head.

you really look like a princess, and Jeonghan remember that you had told him that this is your wedding dream look.

lots of guests start tearing up, including him.

everyone shed tears of happiness meanwhile he shed tears of sadness.

everything feels like it's going slow, the way you walk down the aisle delicately with yiur father by your side while holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers and seeing your fiancé ahead with the officiant, the slow music fills the air and makes this scene even more beautiful.

and god, you're so gorgeous in that dress, a smile etching both at yours and seungcheol's face, happy moments really shared through the air.

after the officiant announces you as wife and husband, seungcheol launches at you, kissing you deeply while Jeonghan and the other guests clapping and smiling, except his was fake.

“i love you”s exchanges between you and your now husband, making the guests get more wild by shouting congratulations to both of you.

morning turns into evening, the sun finally gets tired and decides that it was the right time to get some sleep while the moon is rising to replace the sun's work.

all the people you invite watching you slow-dance with the one you love.

Jeonghan swallows the lumps in his throat with a shot of vodka while seeing you with seungcheol, his heart burns and so does his body.

this time, his heart is shattered, he knows he loves you but he has to let you go, because you're someone else’s now.

you're not his girlfriend anymore and you will never be again, he regrets not being able to fix his mistakes, and he regrets not being able to be your husband so he can be by your side as long as you live.

he will mourn every single day of his life until he dies, the pain of missed chances, and unfulfilled promises will always haunt him

[ratcash-wasgud]

𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎𝙼𝚘𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝙼𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗!𝙼𝚒𝚣𝚞

Hey heyyyy. I know I'm not doing the shit I'm supposed to, but this has been on my mind for so long, and I CANNOT get it out.

Mizu hated her job. Working in a busy restaurant as a waitress is honestly exhausting, especially when someone is kind of masculine presenting. Sometimes she thinks that college isn't worth enough to suffer through this. Rude comments from middle aged customers about how she's not feminine enough, no tips from men since they usually think she's one of them until she speaks up, and little kids asking "are you a boy or a girl" are part of her daily rutine. But still, there is one good thing about her job. You.

She usually shares a shift with you, and you happen to be her polar opposite. You're cheery, optimistic and seem to be always shining. You're always there when she drops a plate, apologize in her place, and help her clean it up. You seem to be young too, almost her age. During some of the shared breaks, you told her you're four years older than her, and never managed to finish college. Why? You got pregnant.

You briefly told her about it once. You did really well on an exam, and went out to celebrate. You got really, reaaaaly drunk. Since there was this guy, who was paying for your drinks, you went all out. The next thing though was that you woke up in an unfamiliar apartment, naked. You did a test the moment you got home, and found out you were pregnant. You dropped out to get a full time job, to afford this baby, because you weren't able to get rid of it, and when your snob parents found out, they cut contact with you. Now you're still raising your two year old daughter, Charlie.

You're stronger than anyone Mizu ever met. When she learned that you're a mother, she suddenly understood why are you so motherly. Why are you so warm. You have practice in treating children, and even if Mizu doesn't know it, she is still one on the inside. And an angry one at that.

And with the though that you are a mother, she fell in love with you. Your gentleness, your kind nature, the way you unintentionally coo at her when she's grumpy...it all just made her crave your presence. You never gave her more than a hug though aside from those rare pets on her head her when she does something really well.

She knows she shouldn't think about stuff like this, and it's not even her place to even have the though, but...you were with a man once. You never talked about anything else that could give her a hint about any of your previous or ongoing romantic interests, and that frustrates her. Akemi always tells her when she meets a guy, or Taigen when he manages to hook up with a girl...even Ringo told her about this pretty girl at the local bakery he really likes visiting. So why not you? Do you not have anyone? Ever? You probably don't like raising your kid alone, so why don't you try dating? Or dating her, to be specific. But, to cut this short, as far as she knows, you're straight.

"Oh God, we're sorry." You give a customer an apologetic smile as you kneel down on the ground to pick up pieces of a cup Mizu had just dropped. "The next drink is on the house. Again, we're sorry."

Mizu crouches down beside you, and she starts collecting shards too in silence. When the both of retreat to the kitchen, Mizu stops your hand when you're about to add a drink to your own tab. "What are you doing?"

"I told them the next drink is on the house." You say, raising an eyebrow. Mizu feels your pulse as she holds your wrist.

"Yeah, so why are you writing it to your name? I dropped the cup." She says, her tone harsh and unfriendly as ever.

"Because you already had to pay for that rude man's stew the other night. I can't let your paycheck get reduced to a single penny." You give her a slight smile and a small chuckle. You're too good to her. She keeps messing up, and you're the one cleanig up her mess.

Still, Mizu takes the pen from you and writes the drink under her name. "Buy Charlie something on your way home instead. Tell her it's from the weird woman from work." She sighs.

It's worth it. Completely. The smile on your face after she does that is just too much for Mizu to handle. "Why don't you give her the treat yourself? The daycare is close to the bus top you usually wait at, so you could come with me to pick her up."

So, that's how she ended up here, holding Charlie's small little right hand as you hold the left while the little girl literally toddles, on your way to your apartment.

Mizu was never good with children. She found them annoying and useless. But she had to admit...Charlie was adorable. The little girl was really your kid. She had the same mannerisms, even if she was barely able to speak.

"Then, the bug...got on my face. And then, I was screaming. Mean bug." Charlie mumbles endlessly as they walk. You, on the other hand, seemed to be really invested in the story, as you smile oh so sweetly at Charlie, and nod along to the story.

After that, Mizu ended up at your place somehow. She didn't want the moment to stop, so she just...kept walking with the two of you. It was so comforting, she couldn't let it go.

She watched you coo at your child as you fed her, waited obedientlyin the living room when you gave her a bath, helped you pick up her toys, and even did the day's dishes.

But it has gotten late. She should go home now...home. She feels like she found home tho. She doesn't want to leave.

"Hey..." Mizu starts as she picks up her bag. "Thanks for...you know, introducing me to Charlie." She murmurs.

You chuckle at her. "She really likes you. She was even more chatty from usual."

...

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

"Do you like me?"

She slowly takes your hand. She can't stand this endless longing anymore. She wants to be by your side, to help you raise Charlie, to make your life just a little easier. She wants that more than anything.

"It's okay if you don't like me yet...I should earn your love." Mizu says, looking down at the ground.

"Mizu..." Your gaze softens, your fingers wrapping around hers.

"But I will earn it." She says, now determination filling her eyes. "I will show you how good I'd be for you. And for Charlie. So wait for me, until I can prove myself. But be ready for me."

And with that, she's out the door. Her steps are light and fast as she enjoy's the night breeze hit her face. She can't help but smile. She feels free.

She now, has something in her life...something to look forward to. She can't wait to be part of that family.

You look at the now closed door that she just walked through, and smile softly to yourself.

"What a child..." You whisper to yourself with a small chuckle.

[sirgogington]

My Word Vomit Response on the Shelby Situation

Main Situation: Last week Wilbur Soot from Lovejoy was accused of having been abusive towards his ex girlfriend Shelby. Shelby is a live streamer and last week she did a livestream about the signs of knowing if you are in an abusive relationship. She never stated his name, but from details given people started assuming it was about Wilbur Soot. A few days later Wilbur confirmed that it was him in an apology tweet on his Twitter account. The abuse had to do with painful biting, and manipulation. 

    I want to start off by saying I do believe Shelby's story. I don't think Wilbur is innocent, but I do believe this situation isn't as black and white as people are claiming it to be. 

    Former fans after hearing the story started unfollowing Wilbur and Lovejoy and saying what a terrible man that Wilbur is, and vowing to never listen to or view any of his content ever again. He's not just a terrible man, he has to be evil too. I may be optimistic but I do think most people can change for the better if they truly want to. There are exceptions, but I truly believe that Wilbur can. The internet wants to just label him as evil and not give him any room to do that. The new thing is "guilty until proven innocent" and that's super harmful as I will go into in a different post. The way people are spreading hate in a us/them mentality is not a mature way of viewing/handling this situation and does more harm than good. Especially when it comes to death threats and doxing which have been received by both sides.

   Wilbur is someone who had a hard upbringing, and has brought up at different times his struggles with mental health. On screen or on stage you would never know this about him, because he has this mask of being confident, well spoken, and joyful. Through these details Wilbur has shared we know that touring took a lot out of him mentally and put him in a bad place, but that he was seeking therapy and is probably currently still seeing a therapist to try and get better. He's shared in the past that when he first blew up on the internet he used alcohol to cope because of how overwhelming it was that so many people were consuming his content. From Shelby's stream we also learned that his living space was dirty and unhygienic and that he would make excuses for it. The details for me paint the picture of a guy struggling badly with mental illness and having a hard time caring for himself and his home. Someone who can hardly take care of themselves should not have been in a relationship. This puts a lot on the other person.  It's different if he were stable and then then his mental health crashed in the middle of a longer relationship, but not if your too mentally ill to begin with. I do deeply feel sorry that Shelby had to experience that, as it truly shouldn't have happened. 

   I went to school for psychology and know quite a bit about different types of mental illnesses. I am by no means diagnosing Wilbur, but I do think he shows signs of someone with Boderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotional disregulation disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD self sabotage and will frequently end up pushing people away because they don't think they're good enough for them. (In this case maybe he wanted to act so bad so she would leave him, which is very unhealthy). People with BPD also go through depressive episodes and can act impulsively. Without therapy it is extremely hard to cope with this condition but with therapy you can make great strides in changing. I think like most mental illnesses you are aware of the fact you don't like the way you're acting you just have a hard time controlling it. For instance for me growing up with anxiety I knew most of my fears were completely irrational but that didn't stop them from overtaking my life and still feeling anxious. Wilbur has written some really deep lyrics on his new solo album Mammalian Sighing Reflex and I feel like it reflects that he doesn't like the way he is and feels guilty about those he's harmed through it. Maybe I'm giving this man too much credit, but like I said I do believe most people are capable of changing for the better. 

   Shelby stated she did the livestream as a way to help protect other victims of domestic violence and Wilbur Soot himself. He might still be dangerous to the public, it's really hard to know. I know after my own situation with being manipulated I was worried about the guy going after other younger women like he had with me. I didn't want anyone else have to be in that situation so I understand where Shelby is coming from. I also know that if the guy in my life had ever posted an apology, no matter how good it was, that I still wouldn't believe him and have a hard time forgiving him. Bold take but I think his apology was at least decent. Could it have been better, yeah, but could it have been a lot worse, also yes. In his apology he admits to being the person Shelby was talking about. He states that her feelings are valid, and that he wants people to hold him to higher accountability, and that he was sorry for any hurt he caused. Maybe he isnt, but it's hard to know. Wilbur stated in a livestream from last October 2023 that he was going to therapy the next day, because of this we can assume that Wilbur has been going to therapy at minimum since October. In that same livestream he states that he showers once a day when he's in his "big sad", and that he has rented places all over Brighton. He is at least hygienic in this regard, maybe moreso than he was before. It could be a red flag that Wilbur has lived all over Brighton due to possible evictions whether that be negligence or noise complaints from doing livestreams.

   We'll never know how other content creators truly feel about him except for the ones that made it obvious. Of course most content creators are going to jump on the bandwagon and agree that he's an evil man. If they don't then they'll lose their platform because of all the hate they'd get. I do believe some content creators will still hang out with Wilbur secretly or still even remain his friend. But we'll never know. 

   For the people who are posting different video evidences of Wilbur supposedly showing signs of being abusive in the past this is what is called confirmation bias. If you believe someone is abusive suddenly you can find details in the littlest things to confirm your thought process. A lot of the clips I've been seeing have been of normal everyday behavior or confirmed bits. I've seen people say that Wilbur must have bit down really hard to leave bruises. In some cases people bruise more easily than others. I know I have random bruises on my body from nothing. We can tell that what Wilbur did however was pretty painful due to have to use a safe word. Getting bitten usually hurts. I've been bitten by a 5 year old at work and can't imagine how it would feel to be bitten by a grown man who intentionally bit down hard.

This could be confirmation bias as well, but when looking at the lyrics in Mammalian Sighing Reflex and at the album art it seems to tell the story of a man (Wilbur) who really messed up in a relationship and is feeling the pain from that, and has a lot of regret due to knowing he was the cause of her pain. He poured so much of himself into the album it's like he's bleeding out in front of the audience with the amount of vulnerability.

Analyzing lyrics because why not, using lyrics from "Mammalian Sighing Reflex"

"I get so drunk I can barely see." If this album is related to his relationship with Shelby, which I think it probably is, then maybe he tried to cope with the relationship failing by using alcohol, or sabotaged the relationship through drinking.

"A lot of friends have left my life, escaping my tractor beam of woe" Having a mental illness can make it hard to maintain friendships. This could be because it makes you so self-focused on your problems, or that people get tired of hearing about your problems. If you constantly talk about how sad you are, some people are going to have a hard time dealing with that, or get burnt out from having to keep on cheering you up.

"Fuck my life, you cared when I was sick, no one ever gave a shit.....you fought this war one-sided and asked me what am I doing this for." These lyrics seem to speak about how in a past relationship (probably meaning with Shelby), that she cared that he was mentally ill/in a low point and wanted to help him get better. The fight to help him get better was one-sided due to Wilbur not helping to get himself better. If he would have helped her then they "could of stitched my mind together."

"Never been the one for romance, never thought that I'd get married. Never been the kind to give a shared life a second glance, selfish prose." In Shelby's livestream she talked about how her and Wilbur talked about the possibility of getting married and having kids until he backtracked and said that he wasn't that way and changed his mind.

The song "I Don't Think It Will Ever End" is how his mind seems to work in cycles. He'll be sad, because he feels sad he hides away for a bit, but then he feels silly for hiding himself so he forces himself to interact with people. But then when forcing himself to interact again he feels sad, which he says is not a good feeling when you're supposedly in a good phase. He says as self-sabotage he gets silly. Wilbur is known for telling a lot of jokes, and maybe this is a way he masks his true feelings. Also for Mammalian Sighing Reflex it says the songs were written by William Gold (his legal name) and performed by Wilbur Soot (his stage name). Wilbur is who the internet/fans see him as and William Gold is who he really is. Meaning the way we see him online is the extroverted, charismatic, likeable guy we know him as whereas William Gold is introverted, self-sabotaging, nerdy, and a deep thinker.

     The internet gives us way too much information. We're constantly bombarded with more and more information. Before the internet and even in the earlier internet days you did not have this. People were not being as closely viewed and known as they are now. You have to be careful about every little thing you say, because God forbid you say the wrong thing and get canceled. It didn't used to be this way. The only reason you'd ever know anything bad about a celebrity is if they were in the news. I think most of the media we consume whether TV shows, movies, etc. have the potential to have us supporting "bad people". It would be overwhelming to look up every single person we had ever consumed media from and sift through what are lies and what are not about each actor, singer, etc. I get that people don't want to give a platform to people doing bad things, but it's almost impossible to know and to remove every single bad person from the content you consume.  Being a celebrity in general is hard. It's easy to become addicted to drugs, and experience toxicity especially celebrities that live in Los Angeles. Most become people they regret, but some change for the better too. I'm not saying people who do serious crimes should get out of jail because they can become better people. People in jail should remain in jail for serious crimes. Time will tell what becomes of him. If more about him is released or if he's able to actually make strides in his health like he said he would. We will wait and see. I really hope he can heal and get better. Even the most unlikely ones can change their lives. You can both support Shubble and hope that Wilbur gets better.

[agentlizardofowca]

Cant remember if ive asked yet. If i havent, id love ur take on: 'Well, someone's cranky today.'

-MoA

'Well, someone's cranky today.' + 42 A kiss out of pride @mammalsofaction

(OWCA files AU, post canon)

"This is high school all over again," Heinz pointed out awkwardly. He was right.

Agent P and Agent O sat in the first two- in a row of plastic chairs in the hallway. The door beside them did not lead to the principal's office but to HR's meeting room.

Perry shouldn't be surprised they ended up here. He'd known he would regret it the moment he started throwing trainees (And Heinz Doofenshmirtz) across the office. Nobody got hurt, the trainees learned a valuable lesson about using staplers and laminators for self-defence, and nobody seemed mad initially.

Then Rebecca from HR entered the room. She'd held a grudge against the two of them since that night they'd all played darts together. And she was a very sore loser.

So here they were, sitting side by side like two naughty teenagers.

"Dr Doofenshmirtz?" The door to the meeting room had opened, and a woman that Perry hadn't met before looked at them with a wide smile.

Heinz rose from his chair awkwardly and gave her a limp handshake before she herded him into the meeting room. He glanced at Perry one last time, but there was nothing he could do to help.

Perry spent the next ten minutes glaring at anyone who dared to glance his way.

When the door eventually opened again, Heinz was allowed to leave with another handshake. He was smiling, and for a moment Perry was optimistic.

"Thank you for your time, Heinz. Autism can create difficult situations in a work environment, but if we all take the time to sit down and discuss, I am sure we can craft a set of guidelines that can make things easier for everyone." The smiley woman turned to Perry. "Mr Fletcher, it's your turn."

Perry sighed and stepped up.

"I'll see you in the cafeteria," Heinz said to Perry, he placed one hand on his shoulder and then left. It would be useless for Heinz to wait by the door, but Perry was still a bit disappointed.

"My name is Kenzi," The smiling HR representative said politely as they sat down together. "Let's talk about you."

Kenzi did not know sign language, so Perry had to quickly resort to using his phone for assistance. As he was figuring that out, Kenzi explained that she and Heinz had a lovely conversation.

Perry frowned a little, they were on a first-name basis already?

"Your partner is a bit of a comedian, isn't he?" She asked. "He's very good at telling stories. What a charming guy."

Perry swallowed down the bitter taste of jealousy. So, Heinz charmed his way through the conversation with HR. That was smart. That was good.

His eyes must've betrayed his simmering anger as he announced that he was ready to begin.

That conversation fucking sucked. Perry thought to himself as he finally emerged from the meeting room. Not only was Kenzi impatient with him and barely gave him the time to answer. She also seemed to blame him for other people's behaviour. (If it had just been Heinz, he would've had to agree. But Perry barely even knew some of the agents that woman had mentioned.)

She had ordered him to be more gentle with the trainees. As if the enemy would be gentle with them when they come face to face with a real crisis situation. "Learning environment" is nice and all, but a loaded pistol is dangerous, and if someone messes around with one, Perry is not going to allow such behaviour. Stern and strict is good sometimes.

Kenzi apparently disagreed. She'd tried to manipulate Perry into changing his tune. Luckily for her, she managed to bite her tongue before she finished saying "Use your words" but she had come too close to elegantly catch her mistake.

By the time she allowed Perry to leave -almost thirty minutes later- he was so cross with her that he had to breathe carefully when they shook hands because his instinct was to crush her fingers.

"And Perry?" Kenzi said in lieu of a goodbye as she held the door open for him. "Try to smile once in a while, okay?" Her unnaturally wide grin was back as if to demonstrate.

Perry's fist was so tight his knuckles cracked.

Her eyes flashed to Perry's hands for a second, and he recognized the emotion in her eyes as fear.

In a desperate attempt to save face, Agent P smiled tightly, nodded and left as quickly as he could.

***

Perry stormed into the cafeteria, sat next to Heinz, and slumped into the table.

"That took a lot longer than I expected," Heinz noted and he awkwardly pushed the cup of coffee he had grabbed for Perry towards him. At this point it was lukewarm at best.

Perry groaned vaguely.

"So it didn't go well?" Doof asked, and he slouched lower in an attempt to catch Perry's gaze.

There wasn't much of a reply.

"Well I thought she was kinda nice. I explained that sometimes the kids get a bit rowdy, and then I talked about Vanessa. And Kenzi was such a good listener. She just kinda concluded that it wasn't my fault."

Perry struggled himself into a more proper sitting position and rubbed his face. Extra caffeine would only make his mood worse.

"She gave me her number in case I ever needed help handling a delicate situation."

Heinz hadn't even finished speaking when Perry's fist came down on the table with so much force that his coffee spilt over the rim of its paper cup. He turned to Heinz and glared.

"What? You don't think I need HR's help to behave, do you? I'm pretty sure I can figure it out on my own. I've gotten pretty good at reading other people's emotions. For example, you are annoyed right now."

As if to make a point, Heinz booped Perry's nose.

「I never want to see her again.」

"Pffft," Heinz snorted. "She's not that bad. Someone's just a bit cranky today. Have some coffee. You should try smiling some more, that'll lighten your mo-"

Perry rose from his chair and took Heinz up with him.

Mechanical long fingers scrambled at the cuff of Perry's sleeve. "You're choking me, Perry." Heinz managed to gasp despite the tight grip Perry had around his neck.

Perry dropped his partner back into his chair like a sack of bricks and stormed off.

It took Heinz approximately 25 minutes to find Perry on the bench behind the parking lot.

He cleared his throat and Perry glared at him, sighed deeply, and patted the seat next to him.

"Next time you get mad at me in there, try something else." Heinz huffed as he sat. "HR tried to get me to confess to you being a bastard."

Perry shrugged one shoulder.

"If they ever ask, grabbing each other by the neck is a thing we do."

Perry turned his head and looked at Heinz with a look of disbelief.

"What? You think I'm going to send you back in there after they managed to piss you off that badly? You may be a bastard, but I'm not that mean."

「You lied?」

"Of course I did! I learned from the best, you know." And Heinz elbowed Perry in a faux playful, but actually kinda painful way.

Finally, Perry cracked a smile, and he elbowed back just slightly harder.

"Ah, oof! Now apologise and tell me how well I did." Heinz said as he rubbed where he'd been elbowed in the ribs.

Perry wasn't in the mood for conversation, I hadn't gone well for him today. Instead, he wrapped his arm around his companion and after a moment he kissed him.

Heinz hummed as they kissed, and when they finally parted he smiled smugly. "Don't worry Perry, it won't take long before HR hates us both."

[icycoldninja]

Dmc incorrect quotes

Nero, tearing up the room: Where are they? Nero, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? Nero: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

Dante: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.

V: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water? Nero: Because your toast would get soggy!

V: Let’s not Dante this into a worse situation than it already is. Dante: Did you just use my name as a verb?

Dante: Can you pass the salt? V: Can you pass away? Dante: Too much salt.

V: I drink to forget but I always remember. Nero: You're drinking orange juice.

Dante: I got an idea! V: Does it involve breaking the law? Dante: By now don’t you think that’s a given? V: I was just trying to be optimistic. Dante: Don’t bother.

Dante: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch". Nero: I see you're passing on your name.

Nero: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. V: Wasn’t Dante with you? Dante: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Nero, Vergil, and Dante are playing poker. Dante is winning by a long shot. Nero: Aw, come on. Vergil: It’s not fair! He doesn't even know what we’re playing! Dante: Go Fish?

Nero, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? Dante: grabs and chugs the entire bottle Dante: Dante: It's perfume.

Dante: What is wrong with you? Vergil: Many, many things… Vergil: And most of them are your fucking fault.

Dante: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass. Nero: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL! Dante: …Your point?

Nero: I can be your partner for the next race. Vergil: Sorry, Nero. It's a sibling race. Dante: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this. Vergil: It's only children, Dante. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!

Dante: They called me the B-word. Vergil: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.

Nero: If you’re going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it. Vergil: There is an alternative, then. Nero: Out with it. Vergil: You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones which certainly are there.

Vergil: If there’s one thing I learned from Dante, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

Nero, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?! Vergil, standing in front of Nero: bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen Nero, crying: Please…stop…

[cosmic-glow]

Anonymous asked: May I request some hidan x reader sfw? Someone's trying to hit on s/o who'd not into it?

My Agony - Hidan

Warnings: reader's gender or body not specified; no use of "y/n"; mention of death and aggression (not from the characters); Hidan and his sick and possessive romance; SFW with slight indecency.

Minors do not interact!

Genre: Oneshot (1.8k).

Hidan was an idiot, the problem was that you loved him. You really did. And you knew that he loved you too, even when you were fighting.

What started out as a little teasing, something even innocent just to play around a bit, ended up escalating into a real argument about him being too possessive. You said things you shouldn't have, he said some even worse, which resulted in the current situation: Hidan and you have been avoiding each other for a few days, both too proud to simply give in and apologize, even though the distance is slowly killing you both.

The only person who really seems to be taking advantage of the whole situation is Hayato, the Akatsuki newcomer. He arrived recently and hasn't had time to be properly introduced to everyone, so he doesn't know that the way he's close to your body now could cost him his life.

Ever since you and Hidan stopped talking, Hayato has been clinging to you, following you everywhere, flirting shamelessly with you. Because in his mind what you and Hidan have isn't that serious, he doesn't know how many times Hidan has torn your name into his skin out of pure pleasure and devotion. Hayato doesn't know how many times Hidan used his own body as a shield to protect you. Hayato doesn't know how Hidan wraps your body so close to his as if he needed to drown in you to be able to sleep peacefully every night. Hayato doesn't know how Hidan speaks your name as if it were music, a divine blessing, awake or asleep. Hayato doesn't know how every morning, when he sees you by his side, Hidan thanks Jashin on his knees for having you. Hayato knows nothing.

- I'm just saying that if I were your partner, I'd already be on my knees asking for your forgiveness. Maybe he doesn't like you so much that he hasn't given in yet... In fact, I don't think we'd even have fought about it if I were your partner.

Eyes as blue as the foggy sky analyze your reaction to his words, an almost mischievous smile tugging at the corner of his lips while his black hair falls a little under his eyes when he tilts his head. Hayato is persistent and optimistic, too optimistic for your taste... He's working among mercenaries and assassins but still believes in empathy and mercy. He's pathetic.

- It's just not his way, it's not how Hidan shows his feelings... - you explain tiredly as you're still stuck in this conversation, having to hold back a lot not to roll your eyes.

- I would never do that to my partner. I would have bought flowers, chocolates, even a giant plush if I had to, all to please the one I love. Then... - you notice him slowly getting closer, more than any rational man who knows who you are would do, but Hayato is proving to be anything but "rational" - ... I'd shower with kisses, take to the bedroom... you know what I mean, right?

Your fists clench involuntarily. You have to repeat over and over in your mind that it's not worth it in order to maintain your posture, lest you break Hayato's beautiful, ridiculous nose. You feel your jaw clench to hold the answer you wanted to say while you search for another. However, another voice speaks for you as turn down the corridor.

- Yeah, I think we understand perfectly what you mean, brat.

Apparently, Hidan overheard the conversation and stayed for a few seconds at the bend in the corridor, where he couldn't be seen, to see how far it would go. From the look on his face, he's not at all happy with what he's heard. Without looking away from Hayato, Hidan walks over to you, a familiar look on his face... it's the same look he gets when he's about to kill someone who has aroused his hatred. As soon as he saw the man, the smug smile on Hayato's face died, his shoulders slumping as the confidence drained from his body to give way to fear.

You feel Hidan's hand wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him, it's the first time he's touched your body in days so without realizing it you don't even stop him, but lean into him. Hidan's eyes pierce Hayato's soul, he doesn't even blink, as if trying to choose which way to kill the boy out of all the worst he knows.

- Hi my love... - that's all he says when he turns to you and without waiting for your answer, grabs your face and kisses you. You've experienced that kind of kiss before and you know exactly what it means... he's bursting with jealousy and anger.

Hidan purposely delays the kiss, it's almost indecent because it's so deep and intimate, as if he wants to make Hayato uncomfortable. And you know he does. He wants the boy to see who you belong to. To see who is the only man you allow to touch you like this. The hand on your waist still holds your body firmly against his as Hidan separates his lips from yours with a smile and looks at Hayato again.

- Who's your little friend, darling?

- He's not really my friend... - You realize you're a little intoxicated by the kiss, your body reminding you how much you missed it.

- No? - Hidan feigns surprise and curiosity before his eyes take on a really dangerous gleam - What are you to My Agony then?

"My Agony" was the way Hidan chose to call you even before you became a couple. He said was because it was the way he had always felt about you, a great agony of wanting you, an agony of needing you. An agony of wanting to make you his and of being completely devoted to you. Only you caused him that agony and Hidan loved it.

- I... we were just getting to know each other and talking, nothing much... - Hayato tries to explain, doing his best to hide the nervousness in his voice.

- Do you want to meet this guy, my love? - Hidan asks, looking at you, who pretend to think for a few seconds.

- No, I don't think so. He's really bothering me.

Hayato seems to turn even paler at your words, but Hidan smiles as if he had just won a prize.

- You heard, didn't you? I'm unusually patient today, so if you've got any sense left in you, you're going to get out of my way now and never cross our path again.

Hayato takes a step back and opens his mouth, but for the first time you see him make a wise decision by giving up and just running, disappearing down the corridor opposite where Hidan came from. Without even realizing it, a smile appears on your face as you watch him run away, amused.

- Where did that confident man who was flirting with me go...?

You ask sarcastically and take a step away, knowing that Hidan will go back to ignoring you as he was doing before now that he's rid of what was bothering him. Or at least that's what you thought before you felt him grab your wrist and in one swift, firm movement bring it to his chest, forcing your body to turn towards him.

-Who. was. that. man. darling?

Jealousy still shines in his pink eyes, which are now close to red with intensity. Now you realize that it wasn't just an overreaction to get Hayato away from you, Hida really is jealous. He doesn't care if you're still angry with him, if you want to keep ignoring him because of the fight, Hidan won't let you go until you talk to him. Until you explain it to him.

- It's just the new guy, Pein mentioned him, he arrived three days ago. Don't you remember?

- What a coincidence... He arrived three days ago... Well, I've been thinking about nothing but you for three days, you big idiot! Maybe that's why I didn't notice the arrival of some guy!

When his words hit you, your eyes open a little wider and your lower lip drops a little. It's been exactly three days since you and Hidan had a fight, three days that he hasn't focused on anything else. He was also counting the days, he was also missing you, even if he was too proud to admit it.

- Why didn't you tell me before?

- Because everything I thought of saying only sounded even more possessive and I didn't want to fight with you again because I love you, hell !

He... He was really considering what you said during the fight, he was really rethinking the way he acted towards you, he was thinking of a way to apologize. To show that he really cares and wants to change if it bothers you, but the words were tricking him. They showed that deep down it was something stronger than him to control at times, something that flows with his blood, something that takes control of his senses.

- I... I don't want to keep fighting either, my love. I didn't even want to start a fight... - you wrap your hands around his face and Hidan leans into your touch, his face softening - ... I understand your side, I just don't like it when you don't seem to trust me.

- I do - he replies quickly, as if he doesn't want you to think that for another second - I swear I do, I just... I need to spill the blood of every other man who thinks he can touch you the way I do, that's all.

Hidan wraps his arms around your body as he speaks and moves closer to your face, and you end up laughing at his justification. As if in a dance, you both slowly close your eyes and move closer together before joining lips. There's no need for a warning or a request, your souls are talking in silence and you fully understand each other's needs. The kiss is slow, intimate, sincere. The apology they both don't know how to put into words. Hidan breaks the kiss after a few seconds but remains close to you in the same way, his lips caressing yours as he speaks.

- You know I only didn't kill that guy in front of you because I didn't want to get blood on you, don't you, My Agony?

- Yes, I know - you give him a brief kiss - Very kind of you, love.

Hidan smiles and in a swift movement that doesn't even give you time to react, throws you over his shoulder as if you weighed nothing.

- Well, now you're coming with me, we have a lot to make up for these three days apart, My Agony. - Hidan says before going into the room you two share and closing the door behind him.

Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Masterlist.

[corriganatheart]

Deepest Secret 🔞 Pt. I/Jude Bellingham x reader x Trent A. Arnold

Synopsis: Jude is your boyfriend's best friend and your biggest nemesis, but sometimes he shows his hate in ways that have you questioning his intentions.

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x fem! Reader x Trent A. Arnold

Genre: Enemies to lover x Forbidden romance

Warnings ⚠️: Cursing, mention of sexual contents🔞

Jude stared at you across the room, champagne in his hands and a couple of blondes and brunettes around him. Although they were talking to him, pushing their boobs up, and exposing their legs to him, he couldn’t help but stare your way. He wasn’t sure if it was because you smiled at every little thing or because you had his best friend wrapped around his fingers, but there was something about you that he hated.

Trent was wiped, and Jude was sure his best bud would get screwed once you get the fame that he is sure you are desperately chasing. Jude has repeatedly warned his best friend about you, but the man wouldn’t listen and instead fell in love with you. He remembers the first time Trent brought you to one of their games and introduced you to everyone, and immediately, the whole team took a liking to you. You were always smiling, cheerful, and optimistic, which somehow transferred to Trent. Jude had never seen his best friend this happy, he even thought once that Trent was incapable of happiness, but here he was smiling and bowing down to you like you’re the queen of England.

Jude’s jaws tighten as he watches Trent’s hands trailing down your back and landing on your ass. You giggle at something Trent says and slightly push his chest. Trent then squeezes your ass and plants a kiss on your neck, which causes you to laugh more. Jude rolls his eyes and chugs the rest of his champagne before slamming the glass on the counter. There was something about you that he despised. Maybe it was the way your eyes glimmer when you smile, maybe it was the way that your cheeks would turn pink when Trent compliments you, or maybe the way your body held the perfect amount of curves and portions. Either way, he hated everything about you.

After the bartender gave him another glass of whiskey, Jude glances your way again, and this time he was admiring the way that tight black dress fits your body. It looked good on you, too good, and he wasn't the only one that noticed it. The other guys were also checking you out, some very obvious and some secretly. But the only person that has had your attention for the last couple of hours was Trent, and Jude shouldn't be bothered by that, but he was. You are his best friend's girlfriend, and by the way, things looked, you are probably going to be around for a very long time, and that only made him madder.

Jude deliberately slammed the cup on the table again, causing one of the girls beside him to yelp, and he glared down at her. She was pretty, and she actually looked familiar. Jude scans her from head to toe; and realizes that the girl is wearing something similar to you. But unlike the shy and innocent girl look, this girl was far from innocent. She was staring up at him like she wanted to eat him whole, which caused him to smirk and look back at you and Trent, publicly making out. He then turns back to the girl and grabs her wrist. “You’re coming with me,” he growls.

The girl was touching him everywhere as he licked and sucked her neck. She tasted like cheap perfume, probably ones that were sent to her for sponsorship. He doesn’t know her name or who the fuck she is, but this is a party for celebrities and influencers, so she has to have an NDA signed before entering the building. But either way, she was only going to be a fuck, not even a short-term.

“This dress,” Jude groans while staring down at the girl. She looked up at him with lust, and her lipstick was smeared. Her eyes were filled with so many sexual things, and Jude suddenly remembered your eyes. The way you looked at Trent while he grabbed you sexually; wasn’t just about lust; it was love. Jude tensely closed his eyes, annoyed that he was still comparing his situation to Trent's, and his hard-on was now gone. He sighs and looks down at the confused girl before stepping away. “Sorry, that should’ve never happened,” he apologizes. The girl angrily glares at him, and he is ready to get yelled at before the door to the bathroom opens.

You walked in expecting someone lying on the floor or throwing up, but you didn’t expect Jude and a girl to stare at you. The girl you recognized as a TikTok influencer looked like she just got screwed. Her lipstick and hair are messy, and Jude’s dress shirt is unbuttoned, so you awkwardly point to the door. “Ahum, the door was unlocked, so I walked in. I’m sorry, I’ll leave,” you apologized, but before you could walk out, the girl pushed you out of the way, causing you to stumble back, and she slammed the bathroom door in your face.

You cursed under your breath and slowly turned to Jude. He was now leaning on the wall with his arms crossed, eyes staring at you. “My bad,” you said. Jude didn’t say anything and continued to eye you with no emotions written on his face. He looks at the black dress that hugs your body tightly and the necklace that he remembers Trent picking out for your anniversary, lying on your half-exposed boobs. He gulps as his eyes trail down your exposed legs, which look shinier and longer than usual. He quickly averts his eyes and calms his breathing before glaring back at you. “At least some of us have the modesty to do things privately,” he spats.

You frown and close your eyes to calm yourself down because, once again, Jude has insulted you. “I didn’t think the player himself would get upset over a simple make-out,” you said rudely. Jude shrugs, “well, it’s normal at a party, but I know you secretly hoped someone recorded you acting like a whore so that you could sell it to TMZ." You glared at Jude; one minute with you, and he was already critiquing; this is precisely why you have avoided him since you arrived at the party.

You and Jude have never seen eye to eye, and you don’t know why. When Trent introduced you to his friends, everyone was welcoming and friendly, except for Jude. He was always giving you nasty looks, rude comments, and accusing you of chasing fame. At first, Trent explained to you that Jude was just being paranoid, but after the constant criticism, you stopped trying to be friends and put him in his place. Everyone knew you guys don’t get along, but they never understood the reasoning, and quite frankly, you don’t know, either.

“I have been with Trent for two years now, and if I wanted to chase fame, I would’ve called paparazzi every time we are out, and I would’ve posted him every day or been a millionaire by now,” you said. “No one knew we were together until our eight-month anniversary, so whatever false information you have of me is wrong.”

Jude chuckles and shakes his head. “And all the great things you get from being his girlfriend? Isn’t that also chasing fame? I don’t think you bought that necklace on your neck, nor did you buy the Chanel dress you’re wearing.” You wanted to strangle him and the smirk on his face. He was so infuriating, and if he weren’t Trent’s best friend, you’re sure to be anywhere but his presence. “Trent got me the necklace for our anniversary, and I bought these clothes myself because I have a job!” You spat and reached for the doorknob, but Jude grabbed your wrist and pinned you against the wall. You gasp, seeing his body tower over yours and the smell of his cologne filling your nose. “He doesn’t see it, but I see right through you. You’re a gold digger chasing his money in exchange for being his whore. But I’ll let you play this little game a little longer, and after he is done, maybe I’ll let you suck my cock, too, for a ticket to our game.” Jude smirks down at you and lets go of your wrist. You were too stunned to speak as he carefully shoved you out of the way and exited the bathroom.

You were quiet on the way back to Trent’s house. He was driving and rubbing your thighs while discussing his upcoming game. Trent would go crazy if he knew your secret exchanges with Jude. This wasn’t the first time you’ve accidentally been alone with Jude and exchanged nasty remarks about one another. You’ve never told Trent because you didn’t want him to cause a scene with Jude and make headlines about transfers or tension in the team. Jude had never brought any of the exchanges up to Trent either, so you assume he also values his friendship. Today though, drew the limit, Jude said things that hurt you so much, and you don’t think you can handle them anymore. He was constantly misjudging you, questioning your intention without even trying to know you.

“Did you hear what I said, babe?” Trent asked. You turn to look at him, and he is smiling down at you before turning back to the road. “Sorry baby, what did you say?” You asked. Trent chuckles and intertwines his fingers with yours. “I think Jude might be in a good mood tomorrow; he took a girl home with him,” Trent winked at you. You’re aware that in a couple of days, there is a friendly game between England and Spain, meaning you have to see Jude again. You would never escape that man as long as you’re dating Trent. “Ahum yeah, I hope he is,” you said with a fake smile. You honestly were in such a rush to leave that you didn’t even notice that Jude went home with a girl. Was it the same girl you saw in the bathroom? She was honestly so upset, so you must’ve disrupted them. “He hasn’t been bothering you lately, has he?” Trent asked while caressing his thumb across your fingers. “No, he hasn’t.” You lied.

Female fans were screaming and shouting Jude’s and Trent’s names as they ran to their position. Trent smiled and waved at you before focusing his attention on the field. You catch Jude‘s eyes before looking away. “Is that Trent’s girlfriend?” You heard someone shout behind you. “Yeah, I heard she’s only using him for fame, though,” another responded. You frustratedly groan and shake off the anger. Instead of letting people's words get to you, you focused on your boyfriend instead. Trent looked incredibly hot during the game, and you are very aware that he has many female fans, but Trent was such an honest and reassuring boyfriend that you don't even question anything.

Unlike his teammates, Trent has always been mysterious and quiet, but when he is in the game, he gets very competitive and aggressive. It was adorable how different he was around you, though, and only you know how much of a big baby he was. You smile, remembering the first time you met him. It was a rainy day, and you were finishing homework at a cafe. At the time, you didn’t know who he was because you were too busy to watch soccer, and you always thought it was weird that girls would go up to him and flirt with him. After that day, you kept seeing him at the cafe, and sometimes you would catch him glancing at you. It took him nearly four weeks before he approached you and asked for your number. You always thought Trent was too good for you because of his status, but he made you feel safe and loved, so you said yes when he asked you to be his girlfriend.

The scream around you made you come out of your thoughts; the England players jumped and circled Jude. You smiled and clapped while watching Trent lift Jude from the ground. Jude was the only person other than you that could make Trent happy. They’ve known each other for so long and have been stuck to one another before you came. You could not get in between them and ruin their friendship. You would never make Trent choose between you and Jude. But you are also selfish and want Trent despite the constant hate from Jude. It was clear that your differences with Jude will not go away, but for Trent, you are willing to hold your ground.

After the game, Trent held a celebration party at his place, and it was nearly midnight when people started leaving his house. You sat on a lounge chair by the pool, watching Trent talk to his friends inside the house. The big glass window gives you the perfect view of your boyfriend’s smiling face. You smile at how bright he looks, and your eyes slowly drift to the sofa behind Trent and see Jude sitting with a girl. She is beautiful; Kendall Jenner lookalike. Your smile slowly fades away because you realize that Jude finds you disgusting because he is always surrounded by girls that look like models. And no wonder he thinks his best friend deserves better.

You take a sip of your tequila as you watch Jude tuck a hair behind the girl's ears and whisper something to her. She giggles and slightly pushes his chest, causing him to smirk. You roll your eyes and advert your attention back to your boyfriend. He looks like he is finishing the conversation and walking them to the door. You gulp the rest of the tequila, and your eyes land on Jude’s. He was now making out with the girl, but his eyes were open, staring at you. He has his hands on the back of her neck, guiding her through the kiss while her hands slide up his thighs. Your lips stay stern while staring at Jude, refusing to look away because that would mean you lost. You aren't sure what game he is playing, but you are not going to look away from him. You see his eyes smile, noticing that you are challenging him. He continues to suck the girl's face, his hands squeezing her neck and also going down on the side of her neck without breaking eye contact with you. You feel the tequila taste on your lips, and you slowly lick it, and immediately this causes Jude’s eyes to darken, and you can tell he moaned from that. And you smirk, realizing that you won his game.

“Babe,” the smell of whiskey hits your nose, and you turn to your right to see Trent sitting beside you. He smiles at you and reaches for your hand. “Are you ok, baby?” You felt like the world stopped spinning as you looked into his gorgeous eyes. Gosh, Trent was a piece of art. “I am now,” you said, and Trent smiled before pulling you onto his lap. “You’re so beautiful,” his hot breath hits your throat, and his cologne mixed with the alcoholic beverage causes you to see stars. You smiled and pecked his forehead, causing him to smile even more. Trent slips his hand under your t-shirt and plays with your swimsuit underneath. “Wanna jump into the pool?” He asked. You giggled and stood up. Trent smirks as he watches you slowly remove your t-shirt and slip your shorts down. His eyes darken as you turn around and then jump into the pool. “You just love teasing me, don’t you?” He asked while standing up and taking his t-shirt off. “Because I know what happens next,” you teased. Trent groans and starts taking off his belt when Jude walks out of the house, staring at you and then at Trent. You don’t miss the small hickey on his neck. “Saka is drunk as fuck. Harry asked if you could follow him with Saka’s car.” Trent rolls his head back and groans, then look at you with desperation in his eyes. “I’ll still be here,” you smiled. Trent sighs and puts his shirt back on. “I’ll be quick,” he says and then nods to Jude before leaving you alone with his devilish friend. You glare at Jude, who is just watching you curiously. “Not a good idea to chug a whole bottle of tequila and then jump into a pool. You might drown,” he said. You roll your eyes and start floating in the pool.

“Oh please, you would’ve loved that,” you mumbled. Jude laughs and scans your body from head to toe. He then bites his lower lips, and when his eyes land on your center, which is covered with a bikini, he feels his dick swell. “Did you enjoy the show?” He asked while pointing at his hickey. You shivered, remembering the lust in his eyes when he made out with that girl. It was like he was trying to tell you something, and for some reason, you found it very attractive. “What was there to look at? It was child’s play,” you said. Your eyes drift to the glass door, and you realize that everyone is gone; you and Jude are the only ones left. “Oh yeah? Then what’s an adult’s play like?” Jude asked, and then a splash caused you to jump back. You gasped when you saw Jude in the pool with you, his shirt was off, and he jumped in with his jeans.

“Show me,” he mumbled as he walked closer to you. You step back but hit the pool wall, and Jude is fast enough to trap you between his arms. He looks down at you, the smell of alcohol coming out of his mouth and his breathing getting heavier. “Show me what it would be like to make out with you,” he says boldly. You bite your lower lips and turn your head, eyes on Trent’s living room. Your boyfriend could be walking in anytime soon, and you’ll be caught in an inappropriate position with his best friend. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I won’t fall for it, Bellingham,” you said and slightly pushed Jude’s chest, but he didn’t move. His eyes look down at you dangerously, and you blame it on the alcohol in your system because you were considering kissing him.

“There are no games right now. I want you to show me what Trent sees in you,” Jude whispers as he lowers his lips. “I just need a taste.” You stare at his chest, which is moving faster than usual. But you can’t give in; this man thinks you’re a gold digger and a fame chaser, and you won’t entertain him. “Trent is your best friend, and I am his girlfriend. It would help if you weren’t suggesting anything,” you mumbled. Jude didn’t respond to that; he lifted your chin so you were looking into his eyes. “He doesn’t need to know. This is our little secret.” As soon as you look up at him, Jude’s mouth is on yours. He hungrily kisses you like he is starving. His hands roam your body like he has wanted for months, and his tongue finds its way into your mouth. “You’ve no fucking idea what these lips do to me,” he growls while squeezing your ass. You whimper and bite his lower lips causing him to groan even more.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you murmured. “I hate you, and you hate me.” Jude doesn’t say anything; he devours your mouth while his hands roam your body. The pent-up attraction towards you was too much for him, and he wanted you to fix it. He hates you for being with his best friend, but he hates you even more for being so damn hot. You’re his best friend’s girlfriend, and he shouldn’t want you, but this was getting too much for him, and he needed to see what his friend sees in you. “I shouldn’t do this. I should be loyal to Trent, but I can’t do shit when you’re around. I need to feel you everywhere, Y/N,” he says with pleading eyes. For a second, you almost give in and let him take you to bed. But you remembered who he was and who your boyfriend was. Trent would never betray you, and the thought of you having sex with his best friend disgust you. With no hesitation, you guiltily look at Jude and push him away from you. “I-I love Trent, and he trusts you. That shouldn’t have happened,” you mumbled, and without looking into his eyes, you got out of the pool and went into the house.

You woke up to Trent getting ready for his morning practice. He whistled as he put on his jacket and prepared his duffel bag. As you stare at your boyfriend, memories from last night flash. After leaving the pool, you took a shower and went to bed. Jude probably left after Trent returned, and you remember your boyfriend whispering I love you before he fell asleep next to you. You shuffle out of bed, and Trent is about to turn towards you, but you wrap your arms around his waist before he can. “I miss you,” you whisper while laying your head on his back. “Baby, I’m going to be gone only for a couple of hours,” he chuckles while putting his hands on yours. You stay silent and inhale his cologne; even after a year and a half, Trent still wears your favorite cologne. “Wanna go to practice with me?” He asked as he took your hands off his waist and turned around. You shake your head, and he hugs you while caressing your hair. “Move in with me, baby,” he says and plants a kiss on your head. “I think it’s time we take it to the next level.” You stay silent; as much as you want to say yes, after what happened yesterday, you need to separate yourself from him a bit. Your feelings are messing with your heart, and Trent was bound to discover what happened. Jude was already sure you were using his friend, and after letting him kiss you yesterday, you’re sure he thinks the worst of you now. “I love you so much,” you whispered.

Everyone was hungover, and most didn’t even last ten minutes into practice before they were sent home. Marcus, Harry, and Trent are the only ones not as hungover, whereas Jude seems to need ten hours of sleep. “Jude is a bit off today,” Marcus says as the trio stretches in a circle. Trent looked over at his friend, lying on the ground with his hood on like a weirdo. “Look at his neck; he probably went at it all night,” Harry says, causing Marcus to laugh. Trent frowns, wondering which girl Jude slept with last night. He knew Jude made out with the model, but he sent her away after a few minutes. Hopefully, it wasn’t a random girl from his DMS that would only ruin his reputation. “I don’t remember Jude ever being interested in anyone. He just fucks around,” Harry says while glaring at the youngster on the ground. “He’s young; just let him be. I’m sure he’ll grow out of that phase.”

“Here,” Trent says while shoving a Gatorade into Jude’s hands. Jude sits up and takes the drink, avoiding as much eye contact as possible. Trent glares at his friend, noticing that something is wrong. He then sits down next to Jude, staring at the bottle in his hand. “Rough night yesterday?” Trent asked, noticing the sudden change in Jude’s eyes at the mention of yesterday night. Jude stared at the random hole in the grass and wondered what to tell Trent. After the kiss, he realizes that his feelings for you are past the sexual attraction and that he might like you. He agrees that it was a mistake to kiss you because now he can’t even look into his best friend's eyes. But at the same time, he wouldn’t be able to control himself if you were left with him again. If you didn’t stop him, he would’ve fucked you in the pool without caring about Trent.

“Who was it?” Trent asked while pointing at the hickeys on his neck. Jude shakes his head and sighs, “no one important,” he mumbles. Trent hums and checks the time on his phone, and Jude sees your smile on the Lock Screen. “I asked Y/N to move in with me,” Trent says, causing Jude to look at him immediately. “She said she’ll think about it.” Jude nods and lays back down on the grass. “You love her, don’t you?” Jude asked. This was an obvious question that he knew the answer to, but he wanted to hear it from Trent to remind himself that you were off-limits. “She’s the woman I see myself spending the rest of my life with.” The guilt only increases after he hears the words come out of his friend’s mouth. He was such a lousy friend, and he did not deserve Trent. “I’m sure she’ll come around,” Jude mumbles. Trent stares down at his friend; he is surprised Jude isn’t trashing you because he knows how much you hated one another. This was a good thing but a dramatic change in just one day. With a confused mind, Trent stands up, “I got to go,” he excuses himself.

You stare at the miss calls and messages from Trent. It has been a week since you last saw your boyfriend, and despite his busy schedule, he makes time for you, but you keep making excuses that you’re busy. You sighed as you looked at the different dresses on your bed. Today is Marcus’s birthday, and you can’t miss it. You know that Jude will be there, which complicates things because you’re trying to avoid him as much as possible. You keep telling yourself that both of you were drunk and it was a mistake, but you wouldn’t remember this much detail if it was a drunken mistake. You’ve always hated Jude simply because you assumed he hated you too. But after what happened, you don’t know how to feel anymore.

Trent stares at you in awe as you approach him at the bar. He suggested picking you up, but you said you’d be late, so he went ahead. “Baby, you look amazing,” Trent says as he twirls you around to check you out. You embarrassedly laugh as his friend whistles and cheers for the two of you. Trent smiled and pulled you into a tight embrace as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder. “I miss you so much,” he whispers. You giggled and wrap your arms around his waist. “I’m sorry I have been ignoring you. I have just been busy; I missed you too, babe.” Like the lover he is, Trent, forgive you, and you guys ended up drinking and dancing to the loud music.

It was twenty minutes later that you saw Jude walking into the club with a couple of girls behind him. You glanced at him, and he immediately looked at your ass on Trent’s crotch. Like everybody else in the club, you’re grinding on your boyfriend. You glare at the girls behind him; they are all models. And despite hating him, you couldn’t help but get angry at the thought of him touching other girls. You rolled your eyes at him and continued to grind and be free with your boyfriend. “Huh, I’m surprised to see Jude here,” Trent says as he guides you toward the bar. “Why is that?” You asked curiously. “He hasn’t been himself for a while, and he didn’t go to the club with Foden the last time.” You nod at the new information and glance over Jude’s way. He was now sitting on a couch with each girl on his side. They were touching his thighs and whispering in his ear, but Jude’s eyes scanned around the club, looking extremely bored. “Dude, this is lit as fuck!” Saka screamed as he swung his arms around you and Trent. “And you two looked hot as fuck dancing!”

Both you and Trent laugh at Saka, who is close to blacking out. The three of you continue to entertain one another until Saka starts whistling. “Damn, I didn’t know Jude was into that stuff.” You look over at the couch and to see one of the girls grinding on Jude's lap as the other kisses his neck, sucking and tucking. Jude looked turned on as he leaned his head back on the couch, and you didn’t miss his eyes catching yours before he closed it and smirked. You fist the cup and chug the rest of your alcohol. You then place it on the table and stand up. He was doing too much to get to you, and it shouldn’t get to you because he’s just your boyfriend’s best friend. “I’m going to the bathroom,” you told Trent, who was already staring at you. Anger and confusion were written all over his face as he watched you leave his side.

You were so glad Marcus booked a club that had private rooms because you cannot be around everyone while your emotions are all over the place. You love Trent, and he is the sweetest guy, but for some reason seeing Jude with another girl triggered you. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t care, but after having an intimate moment with him, you can’t help but feel disgusted that he was throwing it at your face. Feeling yourself sobering up, you take in the room that you’re in. There is a karaoke station and a bar, but what catches your attention is the large window in front of you with the city view. The room was dark, but the city lights gave you a good idea of the area.

You walk to the bar station and open the fridge to see varieties of alcohol. You went with a vodka and poured it into a cup. While you were busy making your drink, the door to the private room opened, and just by the silhouette, you immediately knew it was Jude. “Trying to make a living by becoming a bartender?” He asked as he walked towards the bar station. You grab another cup for him and also pour some vodka in. “Maybe that’ll make you realize I’m more than Trent’s girlfriend.” Jude hums, and you hand him his cup before you take yours and go around the counter to stand next to him. “Saka is passed out, and Trent’s trying to help him. He asked me to take care of you until he comes back.”

You nod, realizing that Jude came here upon Trent’s request, not because he wanted to. You haven’t spoken to him since the incident, and you aren’t looking forward to discussing that with him. “It seems like Trent trusts you a lot,” you muttered. Jude stays silent and takes sips of his drinks then and then. “He has faith in the both of us,” Jude shrugged, and you sighed, guilt rushing into your bloodstream again. Trent does not deserve to be hidden in the dark, but you’re so nervous and scared of the possible consequences of the situation. “Look, I love Trent and respect him a lot. I don’t want him to choose between his best friend and girlfriend. It would be nice if we could coexist,” you said. Jude doesn’t say anything; he chugs his alcohol while staring at your form. You took this time to look at him. He was hot, drop dead gorgeous, with perfect height and body. The white half-unbuttoned dress shirt he is wearing compliments his looks even more, along with the black pants. Feeling your face burning up, you look away and chug down your vodka. Being alone with him was a bad idea; you liked it better when you were criticizing one another.

“I respect the homie, I really do,” Jude says as he places his cup on the counter. “But I want to destroy his girlfriend, which beats the whole purpose.” You looked at him in shock as he slowly moved closer to you and placed both hands on the side of you, trapping you between the counter and him. “I want to fuck his girlfriend,” he bluntly declares with no emotions. You narrow your eyes and glance at the hickeys on his neck; they are fresh, probably from those model-like girls. “Why don’t you go fuck those girls? It seemed like you already were,” you said, a hint of jealousy in your eyes. Jude smirks and chuckles deeply, and you can smell the vodka on his lips. “I always imagine you when I need some relief. Just like I pictured you when I’m in bed or shower,” he confesses. You glared at him and pushed his chest, but he didn’t move; he wanted you to know how disrespectful he could be. “That night after I left Trent’s house, I took a girl home. She was hot and had a banging body. She kissed me like she meant it and sucked my dick like it was her last meal. Do you know who I imagined?” He asked, his mouth coming down closer to yours. “I pictured my best friend’s girlfriend in that sexy bikini of hers sucking my cock. And I got off from that girl thinking of you. But then I realize that must be how every guy sees you, a good lay. Maybe you’re just Trent’s girlfriend until he finds a wifey material. Maybe he’ll share you if I ask nicely.”

Jude didn’t need to say another word because you smacked him so hard his face tilted with a red mark. He chuckles slightly and touches the side of his cheek that you slapped. He had no remorse for what he just said because, in his mind, that is how he sees you, nothing else. "You are a fucking asshole. I love Trent, and he loves me. I have been dealing with your shit for two years now, and if I wanted to do anything other than chase his money, I would've done that long ago, you jerk! Stay the fuck away from me! I am fucking done." As soon as you said what you had to, you started walking away, but he grabbed you by the arms and did not hesitate to smash his lips on yours. "You are only done with me when I tell you," he growls. Instead of letting him have his way, you push him as hard as you can, and he does stop. His eyes were filled with anger but shifted as soon as he saw the tears in your eyes. "Y/N...I'm sorry-" you didn't let him finish; you just ran to the door and left the room. Jude hated you so much that he thought so low of you. But he was also confusing you with all this sexual tension and saying one thing and doing another. You wanted nothing to do with him and hoped never to see him again.

Back in the room, Jude grabs the full bottle of whiskey and starts chugging it straight from it. He hated you, yes, that was very fucking clear, but he also wanted you. Every time you were in his presence, he wanted nothing more than to kiss you, taste you and lock you up. But you were not his to keep; you were his best friend's girlfriend. He knows why he says shit that would hurt you badly; it was his way of denying his growing feelings for you, and he couldn't accept it. Jude knew he would hurt you with those words, and he immediately regretted it after seeing your tearing eyes, but how could he be around you, if he kept lusting after you? "Fuck!" he yells and throws the glass bottle across the room.

How do we feel about this one?

Pt. II: https://www.tumblr.com/corriganatheart/713552108767559680/deepest-secret-pt-ii-jude-bellingham-x-reader

[taxlikesmarsroverz]

REVIVED SHOW: OBJECT THING

I made it 2 years ago. I revived it because it's just sitting in a notebook that had nothing. This is kinda lore rant for my object show world

Host: VINNY (VINCENT) Vinny is a nightfall flower from the game Botany Manor, he had some sort of disease (that was extinct) and died in his mid 20s. He was a terrible person, in all honesty. He couldn't be sent to the regular afterlife, it'd affect it way too much. He was sent to a purgatory for him to wreck, but he didn't like being alone. He cursed ten random objects, whether they're already alive or don't exist yet, to come to this dimension when they die. He's constantly drooling and gagging, so he hides away and presents himself as a tentacle (he can summon those due to the disease/curse) and hosts as that.

Tulip: Tulip died in her late 40s, she was a loving mother to a son who ended up in a tragedy but lived. She treats the others like they're her precious little 5 year old kids, she does have a bit of dementia. She always says she'd bake everyone something if she could. She is from Mooncradle.

Raven: Raven is a magic staff. Raven was a Moonkeeper, A type of god for her culture. She came from a family frequently blessed with being born on a day when all the moons are in the same phase (how moonkeepers 'form'). She was part bird feral (she is actually a crow), she died when she was 3762. She died from exhaustion after flying for 21 hours straight. She doesn't really care about anything, doesn't know about her family past her grandchild, and will ignore you. She cares about 2 things, Luckie, her best friend, and how her singular bird wing looks.

Luckie: Luckie is a st Patrick's day cupcake topper. He died when he was 19. He committed suicide because he was having a major depressive episode. He's paranoid and clingy, but does his best to be cheerful. He's missing his letter L, he just says 'ucky' now. He wants to figure out what's happening in the world currently, instead of just this little dimension. He does not have arms

Flaggy: They're a three striped flag, with unknown origins. No one knows much about them other than they're a freak and a nervous wreck. They look to be about 23, but Objects don't show many extra aging signs until they're in their 50s. They do not have arms.

Erasy: She's determined and most definitely a tomboy. She got hit by a car when she was 16. She hopes someone she knows can respawn her, but that won't happen due to her curse. She prefers to be independent and talks fondly About her old friends. She only really knows Mac. She wears a bandaid she doesn't need.

Alum (Aluminum): Despite his name, he is actually a thesaurus that's pages and cover are old and faded. He is mentally ill and constantly happy, even when a situation really shouldn't invoke joy. He's social, most of the time you can't help but smile when you're around him. His best friend is May. His age is unknown, even HE doesn't know. He died from an overdose.

May: She is a calender. She died when we was 34, she was unfortunately murdered by her partner when she was alive. She's an optimist and almost always happy because she's around Alum. Mac considers her strange. May has some sharp little bat fangs. She may or may not have a crush on Tulip.

Stressball: She's my old retired Objectsona, and has found her new purpose in Object Thing. She's quiet and is a Fox feral, she wears two teal bows on her fox ears. She has a poofy fox tail and paws. She is addicted to string cheese. She died on her 37th birthday due to heart failure.

Mac: The main character, in all honesty. They're a college textbook on biology. They wear a graduation cap they got in high school, they never wanted to cling to family relationships, but they did. They died during their driving test due to a drunk driver crashing into them. One of their pages is ripped, and they're quiet. They're scared of the host (and Raven). They want to go back. They were the most recent and last arrival Vinny has planned so far. Their fate was sealed the second they got in the car.

[linagram]

[ 𝙼𝚒𝚢𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚠𝚊 𝙰𝚔𝚒𝚘'𝚜 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝟹 𝚅𝙳] 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚁𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝-𝙷𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝚊𝚗'𝚜 𝙱𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚢𝚊𝚕

time to judge the prisoners let's go! the first pair is akio and aimi as always. i feel like i know what akio's trial 3 verdict is going to be but when it comes to aimi.. i'm not so sure.

Warnings for Akio's VD: descriptions of murder and violence (specifically hanging), a mention of a character throwing up.

Warnings for Akio's MV: toxic relationship themes, hanging

(sounds of footsteps)

Hinode: So.. Time to interrogate the first prisoner.

Hinode: Hopefully, I'll have enough energy to interrogate all ten of them, haha.

Miki: Well, if something happens, we can rely on Eiji-san.

Hinode: Um, Miki-san.. I'm not sure when Eiji-san will be able to join us-

Miki: But he will join us, right?

Hinode: .. Y-yeah, definitely.

Miki: So we have nothing to be worried about, right?

Miki: "I just.. hope that he will forgive me for voting Kei-san innocent."

(the door opens)

Hinode: Hello, Akio-san. I hope you're ready for your interrogation.

Hinode: How are you feeling-

Akio: I'd prefer it if we could just get started already.

Hinode: .. O-okay then.

Miki: "There's a screen on the wall.. Is Eiji-san supposed to appear on it?"

Miki: "There's probably a screen like that in every single cell then.."

(sounds of Hinode and Miki sitting down)

Miki: We'll start with a few questions that aren't related to your crime, but to your life in Milgram instead.

Miki: As we.. you know.. usually do.

Miki: What can you tell us about your condition?

Akio: .. It's fine. Definitely better than what it used to be, at least.

Akio: I can read and write again, but uh..

Akio: I still need help sometimes. My head still hurts a lot too.

Akio: .. Will I always have that scar there?

Hinode: Your injury was very serious, so I wouldn't be surprised if it did stay there for a while or even for the rest of your life.

Hinode: I'm still not sure how you got treated.. From what I've seen, that injury really was bad..

Hinode: Like.. How are you still alive?

Akio: ...

Hinode: O-oh, sorry, a weird question, I know, haha..

Akio: .. I actually don't know how much I have left.

Miki: Huh?

Akio: I mean, sure, maybe I feel better at the moment, but what if you vote me guilty again this time? 

Akio: If you punish me again, I.. 

Akio: ...

Akio: Yeah, I'll die for sure.

Hinode: Well, we can just make your punishment more psychological in nature, right? Also, let's not assume your future verdict for now. It's better if we don't make any predictions until we learn more about your crime and watch your video.

Akio: Heh, like a punishment like that would be any better.

Akio: .. Will my body still be like this if I'm able to get out?

Akio: H-how will I explain this to my parents..

Miki: "I've never thought about this actually.." 

Hinode: I'm sure that you'll be able to finally get actual help if you're able to leave. Let's be more optimistic about it.

Miki: "And we still don't know who exactly treated Miyagawa-san.."

Miki: "If this place has a doctor, shouldn't we know about them? And why didn't they help us during the second trial?"

Miki: "Oh, right."

Miki: Miyagawa-san, do you remember anything about the person who treated your injury? 

Akio: Um.. I wouldn't say I was fully conscious when it happened and I couldn't open my eyes, but I think I heard someone talking.

Akio: I think it was a man's voice. Probably around, uh..

Akio: This guy's age.

Hinode: M-my name is Hinode-

Akio: Whatever.

Miki: "So, a man in his twenties.."

Miki: "It's a shame that Miyagawa-san couldn't see what he looked like, I wonder if he's actually very attractive-"

Miki: ".. This personality trait of mine is getting annoying."

Miki: Ah, do you remember what he was talking about, Miyagawa-san?

Akio: I think he was just mostly talking to himself?.. Just rambling about stuff.

Akio: He probably assumed that I was completely unconscious, so he felt like he could talk about anything he wanted.

Akio: .. I remember him saying something about the prison guards though. 

Miki: Prison guards?..

Hinode: So.. He was talking about us, huh?..

Akio: Maybe. I have no idea, my memories are really blurry.

Akio: .. Can we talk about my murder already?

Miki: Oh, uh, s-sure, but..

Miki: .. Don't you want to talk about the other prisoners too? Like, what's your relationship with-

Akio: How is it supposed to be related to my murder? You're here to solve it, or what?

Hinode: Your current relationships can say a lot about your past, so-

Akio: Stop trying to sound smart, nobody cares. 

Hinode: O-okay.

Akio: .. My relationship with Riku is better now. That's all I'm going to say.

Miki: "He's calling him by his first name.."

Miki: "Wait, didn't he-"

Miki: ".. I should ask him about that."

Miki: Thank you for saving him, Miyagawa-san. Even though you've almost died because of what he said to you, you still saved his life. 

Miki: Hehe, you really are a good person.

Akio: Shut up.

Miki: ".. Maybe he felt guilty about his murder and that's why he tried to save someone's life?.."

Miki: What about your relationship with Hanasaki-san? Are you still close?

Akio: .. She's been acting weird lately. I do not like that.

Miki: "Weird"? What do you mean?

Akio: You know exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, she doesn't talk to anyone except you nowadays.

Akio: It's like she's obsessed with you or something.

Hinode: Just like your accomplice was obsessed with you?

Akio: !

Akio: .. So we're gonna talk about that, huh.

Akio: Okay, bring it on.

Hinode: So, if we were to tell the story of your crime..

Hinode: There were three main characters: your accomplice, Saito Arata-san, your victim, Kitami Chise-san, and well, of course, you. 

Hinode: You were in charge of all the planning when it came to the murder and you also were the one who really hated Chise-san, meanwhile Arata-san was the one who did all the dirty work. A king would never kill someone with his own hands, he needs an executioner for that, right?

Akio: .. Are you making fun of me?

Hinode: But then, something went wrong between you and Arata-san. Perhaps it was some kind of argument? Maybe one of you didn't like the plan so much? Maybe one of you suddenly felt sorry for Chise-san?

Hinode: Maybe something went wrong in the middle of the murder?

Akio: ...

Hinode: Actually, Miki-san, I'm surprised you and Eiji-san never asked Akio-san about this very important part of his murder.

Miki: Huh? What are you talking about-

Hinode: I'm talking about the murder method.

Hinode: How exactly did you plan to kill him, Akio-san?

Akio: .. I'm sure you saw something like that in my videos. I mean, they're supposed to show my murder, right?

Miki: "I remember seeing something like that in his second video.. What was it.."

Miki: ".. Oh."

Miki: Miyagawa-san, this might be a weird question, but..

Miki: .. Did Kitami-san die by hanging?

Akio: !

Akio: W-wait.. Y-you really saw it?

Miki: There was a lot of.. hanging symbolism in one of your videos. 

Hinode: Fitting for someone who saw himself as a king of his class. It's a pretty popular execution method, after all.

Akio: I-I.. I didn't think you'd actually.. see it..

Hinode: There's one thing that really bothers me though.

Hinode: Akio-san, why exactly did you go with hanging as your murder method?

Akio: ...

Akio: I thought it was.. easy to do.

Akio: Like.. we just needed a rope and a stool and that's all..

Hinode: Hmm, I'm sure there must be more to it.

Hinode: You really hated Chise-san, right? So why go easy on him?

Hinode: If you do it right, hanging is supposed to be quick, right? You know, neck snaps, ouch!.. And that's it, you're dead.

Hinode: Like, that's one of the reasons why it's such a popular execution method. Like, we're killing someone, but we're doing it so quickly, they won't realize what happened to them! We're so nice!

Hinode: .. I just don't understand why a king like you would go with an execution method like that.

Akio: .. I-

Hinode: Also, there was this scene in your second video..

Hinode: Like I've said, hanging is supposed to be quick. But..

Hinode: What did Chise-san look like, Akio-san?

Akio: Huh? Why do you need to know-

Hinode: Answer the question, please. This is an interrogation, after all.

Akio: .. Blond hair, dark pink eyes. Freckles. A stupid smile of his that always looks way too wide and annoying.

Hinode: Oh, so that's who we saw in that video.

Akio: !

Akio: Wh-

Akio: What are you-

Miki: So that boy really was Kitami-san..

Hinode: Then answer me this, Akio-san.

Hinode: If hanging is supposed to be quick and painless, why could we see so many bloody marks on his neck?

Akio: .. Ah..

Akio: I.. I-it..

Miki: Are you okay, Miyagawa-san?

Akio: I-it wasn't.. 

Akio: *stands up* IT WASN'T MY FAULT, OKAY?!

Akio: I'VE TOLD HIM THAT WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL, THAT WE SHOULD DO EVERYTHING ACCORDING TO MY PLAN, BUT HE DIDN'T LISTEN!

Akio: IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA! IT WAS HIS FAULT! HIS FAULT, HIS FAULT, HIS FAULT, HIS FAULT-

Miki: P-please calm down, Miyagawa-san, you're still injured-

Akio: ..  My head hurts. *sits down*

Hinode: So, by "his fault".. You mean Arata-san, right?

Akio: .. Yes.

Hinode: What did Arata-san do? 

Akio: .. W-we didn't just kill him.  

Akio: We, uh..

Akio: W-we tortured him.

Miki: You what??

Hinode: This boy committed murder, but you draw the line at torture?

Miki: N-no, it's just-

Akio: I-it was my idea too. Arata went along with it.

Akio: It's like he looked.. excited, even.

Akio: When Chise woke up, the rope was already on his neck. He started to panic and try to get the rope off, but then Arata made the stool shake and Chise quickly stopped.

Akio: He wasn't hanging exactly, he was just standing on it, but one wrong move could cost him his life.

Akio: A-and then I..

Akio: I-I started to taunt him and.. 

Akio: H-he never was the brightest student in class, so I just continued to ask him questions and make him solve problems and told him that if he keeps giving me the wrong answers, w-we will kill him.

Miki: ...

Miki: .. You're messed up, Miyagawa-san.

Hinode: So what happened after?

Akio: .. Arata moved the stool. Chise's neck did not break.

Akio: He continued to try to get the rope off his neck. He kept trying to say something.

Akio: .. T-this went for at least five minutes-

(sounds of Akio throwing up)

Miki: Miyagawa-san!

(sounds of Miki's footsteps)

Miki: Hinode-san, do you have anything-

Hinode: Here, you can wipe it off with this.

Hinode: So.. A botched execution, huh?

Miki: Hinode-san, thanks for helping. Now shut up, please.

Akio: T-this.. This is what I meant when I said that it never was m-my fault..

Akio: H-he told me he has experience with it.. T-that it really will be quick and painless..

Miki: "Experience with it?! So Miyagawa-san ended up here, but that guy didn't?!"

Akio: T-that's why I ran away right after w-we were done.. I-I couldn't even look at him anymore after that..

(bell rings, machinery sounds)

Miki: Miyagawa-san, before we extract your video, please answer one question. You can go and rest after this.

Akio: Wow, that's so nice of you, haha..

Miki: .. I noticed that you usually call everyone by their last names, but when it comes to people you're close with, you call them by their first names.

Miki: Like you called Hanasaki-san by her last name at first, but after she saved you, you started to call her by her first name.

Miki: So I just wanted to ask..

Miki: Why are you calling your victim "Chise" even though you claim you hated him?

Akio: ...

Akio: .. Isn't that for you to figure out?

Akio: You already got the murder method and my reaction to his death. You don't have to be a genius like me to put all these things together.

Miki: .. I see. Thank you.

Miki: Hinode-san- Ah, he's asleep.

Miki: Well then..

Miki: Prisoner 001, Akio, please sing your sins. 

42% ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░ 100%

[ Akio's Trial 3 MV: Experiment: Failed ]

The video starts with showing us that Akio is sitting in some kind of lab and working on his computer, he's even dressed up as some kind of scientist. He is going through the files he has on his computer and suddenly notices something suspicious in one of them. But before he can open it, he gets distracted because Arata walks up to him, offers him some coffee and smiles at him. He seems to be a scientist working here too. 

"I'm the one who planned this, so trust me, it's gonna be fine

I'm the expert in this field, nothing can go wrong

This is what I tell myself every morning or otherwise I'll break down

Only your smile can keep me sane, so just stay here, it's gonna be fine"

Akio just sighs and accepts the coffee and forgets about the file. 

The video cuts to Akio explaining something to Arata and writing something on a chalkboard. Arata stands up and starts writing something on it too. Akio seems to disagree with him and starts correcting him. After a playful fight, they seem to finally agree on something and they shake their hands. 

"I'm the smart one here, the "genius child", that's what they call me

You're the strong one here, nothing scares you, that's what you've told me

Let's work together, I'll do the planning, you'll do the killing-

Oh, what did I just say? Well, whatever, it's just our secret code for.."

When they walk away, we can see the chalkboard better and we see that they've actually been playing Hangman all this time. 

Arata is now the one doing all the explaining and he seems to be very passionate about it. Akio is listening to him very intently and he can't stop staring at him. 

"I know there must be something deeply wrong with you, I can see it in your eyes

But I can't help but feel curious, let me put your messed up brain in a jar

I wasn't born to solve love problems, so let's just hope the answer isn't "Break up""

When you look closer, you can notice that one of his eyes is slowly becoming more pink, meanwhile the other one is becoming more green. But it looks like Arata has some work for Akio to do and he drops a stack of papers on his desk. 

"Solve the problem! You know the answer! Good job! I love you, love you, you can do it!

I can't concentrate with those words playing in my head!

Well, whatever, I know I'll get the best grade in loving you anyway

So keep looking at me, keep saying I'm a genius, please praise me once more"

Before Akio can say anything, Arata places his hand on his chin and looks him in the eyes. Akio blushes a bit and nods reluctantly. Right after that Arata walks away from him, not even taking a single look at him. Akio has no choice but to get to work.

On the next day, it looks like Akio spent the entire night working. He wakes up because he can hear someone talking and suddenly, Arata opens the door and Akio can see that Arata is not alone. He has brought Chise with him and the blond boy looks very excited to be here and he keeps looking around. 

For some reason, Akio looks terrified, but he tries to stay calm after Chise looks at him and gives him a smile. Chise's smile seems to be very different from Arata's and it feels more warm and sincere, meanwhile Arata's is simply more polite. 

"No, why did you do this? We're not ready yet, how am I supposed to act in this situation?

You don't know the whole truth, you don't know what happened between me and-"

Akio tries to look away from him and notices the way Arata is staring at both of them. He doesn't look pleased. Akio clenches his hands and nods and Arata looks to be happy with Akio agreeing to do something. 

"No, I can't turn back now. What's done is done, I'll do the planning, you'll do the-"

Akio continues to work on his computer meanwhile Arata seems to be testing some kind of machine on Chise and Chise doesn't mind, it actually looks like he's having fun. 

"An innocent victim? No, just a test subject, just another experiment

He's not that pure, that's what I want to believe

He'll fight back if he wants, don't let him fool you

Do whatever you want with him, I don't care at all"

Akio can't help but keep looking at them and then he remembers about the weird file and finally decides to check what's inside of it. Once he clicks on it, the computer screen suddenly goes red and the same happens to all the computers in the lab. 

"Ah, I knew this plan was a bad idea from the start

Even geniuses like me make mistakes sometimes, okay?!

I just got a bit too confident, I got lost in my pride

I beg you, don't point at me and call me an idiot"

Akio starts panicking and he runs to the machine that Arata was testing and it looks like the thing is malfunctioning. Akio tries to help Chise, but Arata puts his hand on his shoulder and once again, gives him a smile. 

"But you still tell me:

Solve the problem! You know the answer! Good job! I love you, love you, you can do it!

I can't concentrate with those words playing in my head!

Please comfort me, tell me everything's gonna be fine

I'm not going to be punished for my stupidity, right?"

Akio lets Chise's hand go and even tries to force a laugh and pretend everything is fine. 

But then, the whole "illusion" of a lab shatters and we're brought back to reality. Akio blinks and he sees that they're not in this super cool laboratory, but in a dark and creepy basement. He sees that this whole time they weren't testing a machine on Chise. They were actually trying to hang him. 

"It really was a bad idea from the start

Good boys like me aren't made for murder

Sorry for making you stain your hands like this

I'll lick all the blood off if it makes you feel better"

We can't see what happened to Chise in all the detail, but we can see his legs and his neck and there appear to be strange red marks on it. Even when most of his body can be seen, we can't make it out that well because of how dark the basement is and we can't see his face at all.

"Something went wrong, totally wrong

Something went wrong, oh so totally wrong

I admit my mistake, but don't punish me for it

It's too embarrassing for a king like me to beg for forgiveness"

Akio falls on the floor and covers his mouth with his hand and it looks like he's trying to calm himself down and pretend everything is okay again, but then he looks at Arata, hoping he can comfort him and to his horror, Arata can't stop staring at Chise's corpse and laughing. When Arata turns back to Akio, he looks way too excited for someone who just murdered an innocent person. 

"You are the problem! I know the answer! You did the job! I hate you, hate you, I can't do it!

I can't concentrate with those words playing in my head!

So let me run away from you like a coward would

Just to get obsessed with you later again"

He tries to grab Akio's hand, but Akio pushes him away and looks terrified. Akio runs away and leaves the house. It's raining outside and he keeps running until he trips and falls and sees a paper crown lying on the ground. It's in a terrible condition because of the rain and it has some dirt on it too, but Akio still reaches to grab it. It's in his hands now and Akio looks at it and smiles. It's a sad smile, but still, a smile.

"Maybe, one day, I will be noticed

Maybe, one day, I will be recognized

Maybe, one day, someone will smile at me again

Maybe, one day, I won't need anyone's praise anymore"

He continues to lie on the ground as more and more rain drops fall on the paper crown. The video ends.

[baldurs-gape]

Op your tumblr fucks just fyi. I've loved everything you've written. I need more please 🥺

Watch as I have fumbled sixteen different attempts at answering this ask. You are just too kind. Allow me to respond with the only kind of expression of gratitude I can muster and write you a little something. How about a follow-up to Silence?

The Underdark was still a miserable place, devoid of sun and general vivaciousness that came with life above ground. At least there was something in the way of food for Astarion down there but, after the Shadowcursed Lands, he had gotten wise and had a couple of bottles of blood as backup. Even with those though, Astarion had a knack for running out too soon. No matter, he'd gone hungry before and he would do it again. Just as long as he didn't find himself in sudden need of it to help heal.

What a fool he'd been. The Grymforge was not worth the fighting in his opinion but, as he'd learned, that rarely mattered. None of them were prepared for the fight and their little group had come out rather battered. Wyll had been caught in the flames of an exploding arrow while Lae'zel waded into the heart of the battle. They both looked rather worse for wear and Shadowheart was using the last of her spells to patch them up. Shuffling closer, Astarion wondered whether he could ask for a bit of help, having taken an arrow of slaying to the gut. Hunched over a little, hand over the protruding remainds of the snapped off shaft, he smiled.

"A little help?"

Critical eyes roved over him. Considering he didn't bleed like a living creature would, Astarion didn't know quite what they were looking for.

Pulling out a potion of healing from her pouch, Shadowheart uncorked it and downed it while maintaining eye contact.

"That was my last potion, I needed it to make it back to camp."

Lae'zel stood next to her and offered her own unhelpful advice. "You've got blood smeared on your face. Just lick yourself clean, that'll tide you over, right?"

The small smears of blood splattered on his cheek were about as much use as a finger width strip of bandage over hanging out innards. Truly, Astarion didn't know what to expect but it shouldn't have been anything helpful.

Returning to camp was painful. Astarion was slow, each step sent spasms of agony through his whole torso. The damn arrow had lodged deep and he couldn't move in a way that didn't make it shift in him. Hanging to the back of the party, Astarion did his best to keep up without attracting attention. The last thing he needed was to be seen as an inconvenience. If he set a toe out of line, he feared he'd be thrown out of the group and lose what little protection they offered.

Back at camp, he was sad to note Halsin wasn't around. The Underdark wasn't a place filled with happy memories for him, so Astarion could understand why he ventured away whenever possible. It still didn't make his own misery any better. Rather than greet anyone, he managed to all but crawl into his tent so he could deal with the arrow in private.

As Halsin returned to camp, he cast a curious gaze round. The group that had headed out were back yet he couldn't see Astarion. Ignoring the sinking feeling hin his stomach, Halsin tried to remain optimistic, maybe Astarion needed a rest after what looked to be a rough fight. Sticking his head into Astarion's tent, all hopes were shattered.

"Little one?"

Astarion was in the furthest corner of his tent, hunched over. Empty blood bottles littered the floor around him as he'd obviously tried to scrape out any remnants of blood from them with a finger. His face was a mess of tears and streaks of smudged blood. At his pet name, Astarion looks over at him blearily.

"Bear." A shaking hand reached out towards Halsin and he took it without hesitation. "I can't get it out."

What 'it' was didn't take long to figure out. Looking at the broken arrow shaft, Halsin took an involutary gasp. There was no way the arrow was coming out the hole it had made. Its barbs would catch and tear devastatingly at tender flesh.

"It's okay, Starling, my little bird." Sinking to his knees, Halsin appraised the situation. "It'll have to come out the back."

"Out. I want it out."

"I'll be as gentle as I can."

Sitting down, Halsin pulled Astarion to straddle his thighs, chest pressed to chest. Thankfully Astarion was already topless so that made his job a little easier. Taking the remains of the shaft, Halsin gave it a push and winced at Astarion's groan of pain. Slow wasn't going to be any kinder. Pushing again, Halsin watched at the tip of the arrow stretched pale skin, pushed it taut until it burst. As the skin split, Astarion screamed. The worst was almost over, a little more of a push and enough of the arrow poked out that Halsin could grab it and pull it free from Astarion's back.

A dry sob and Astarion collapsing into him signalled the end of the ordeal. The arrow was free, even if Astarion did have a gaping hole from front to back.

"I'm sorry, Starling. I'm so sorry. Here, drink."

Halsin tried to offer his neck but Astarion was too weak to hold himself up, let alone bite through skin, no matter how soft. Cursing, Halsin helped him turn, slender, cold back against his broad, warm chest. Raising an arm, he pressed it against Astarion's parted lips.

It was useless, Astarion tried to bite but weakness stripped him of the ability. Steeling himself, Halsin had to improvise. One hand supported the back of Astarion's head, held him in place. It meant he could push up with his other arm, forced fands to break his skin. The pain was deep but Halsin grit his teeth and helped push Astarion deeper past tendons and muscle. Thankfully a tongue lapped against the trickle of blood and, after a moment instinct took over. Correcting the placement of the bite flared sharply along Halsin's nerves. Fangs ripped through him to get to the best place to drink from. In his haste, Astarion's jaw worked trying to push yet more blood into his mouth. At least he wasn't helplessly weak or unable to eat anymore. Halsin took comfort in that even as he gritted his teeth against the feral way Astarion took from him.

The wounds closed, Astarion slowed down from frantic to something more gentle. Tongue lapped over the wounds, helping them heal. Finally, eyes so vibrant and full of life again met Halsin's.

"Thank you."

Leaning in, Halsin kissed the corner of blood smeared lips and smiled. "Anything for you."

[empressofthesunwriter]

Yin and Yang: Book 1.03

Balance is a key aspect in the world, so why shouldn’t the Avatar have an opposite?

In a world where Raava and Vaatu merge with humans, the Avatar and the Daimon try to keep the peace between the four nations.

Aang and Hua are the current incarnations, but wake up 100 years in the future.

How will these two learn all four elements in one year and defeat the Fire Lord?

Book 1.03: The Southern Air Temple

Water. 

Earth. 

Fire. 

Air. 

Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. 

Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar and Daimon, masters of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed them most, they vanished. 

A hundred years passed, and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar and Daimon, an airbender named Aang and an earthbender named Hua. 

And although his airbending and her earthbending skills are great they have a lot to learn before they’re ready to save anyone. 

But I believe Aang and Hua can save the world.

A few days had passed since Aang and Hua were broken free from the iceberg, which had been their prison for 100 of years.

Together with the water tribe siblings Katara and Sokka the Avatar and Daimon had begun their journey to master all four elements to end the long war the Fire Nation had started.

The first main goal was to reach the North Pole to find a waterbend master.

However, it didn’t mean they couldn’t make some stops.

Aang and Hua had been gone from the world for so long, anything had changed, they needed to see and learn how to move in this new world.

Also, they had important things to check.

So their first stop was the Southern Air Temple, Aang's birthplace, to look for other airbenders and maybe find out what had happened.

The quartetett one flying bison and a Kyuubi had camped yesterday on this tiny piece of island and were making anything ready for their journey to their destination for today.

Hua had a bad feeling in her stomach, as she helped Katara put their luggage in Appa's saddle.

She remembered with clarity how Gran-Gran, Katara and Sokka's grandma, had told them how no one had seen airbenders for 100 years.

She knew it was nearly impossible to meet up again with old friends and mentors, like Monk Gyatso, they were for sure dead, but Kanna's information and its implication, worried Hua.

Deep down she had a feeling if airbenders were still around, they wouldn’t be open about it and the other possibility…how Aang and her (even if she was only a quarter airbender) were the only airbenders left gave her a bitter taste in her mouth.

Other than Aang who was so sure to find his old home full of living airbenders, Hua had a strong feeling they would only find one thing there.

Death.

The black-haired girl shuddered.

It felt like yesterday as Monk Gyatso explained to her some only Daimon-related quirks.

Her Daimon spirit was born out of chaos and darkness, it meant she had a kind of radar for darker things more than Aang as Avatar, who flourished in order and light.

Destruction, pain, and even death gave her a thrill but also made her feel sick.

When she heard how no airbender had been seen for 100 years, a voice inside her said: they are dead.

Call it instinct or her weird Daimon Darkness-Radar, she knew it was true.

Hua had tried to warn Aang, to not get his hopes up, but sadly he didn’t listen to her.

He was too optimistic.

Typical Avatar.

“Wait 'til you see it, Katara!”, Hua heard Aang talk, returning her from her dark thoughts. “The Air Temple is one of the most beautiful places in the world!”

“Aang, I know you're excited, but it's been a hundred years since you've been home.”, reminds him Katara cautiously.

The waterbender looked at Hua, who gave her a tiny nod. 

Other than her counterpart, Hua didn't get her hopes up.

"That's why I'm so excited!", told Aang giddy.

"It's just that ... a lot can change in all that time."

"Katara is right Aang.", agreed Hua. "I have a really bad feeling about this. You shouldn't get your hopes up."

This made Aang roll his eyes and jump down from Appa's head.

"You and your bad feelings. You need to be more optimistic.", tutted Aang, which angered the Daimon.

She was not a little child!

"It would help you to be more realistic, Mr. Avatar. You can't live with your head in the clouds all the time!"

"I'm an airbender, it's in my nature."

"Yeah, that's your excuse for anything!"

"Children!", got Katara between them. 

She had a tired and annoyed look on her face. 

No wonder, since she and Sokka joined them, she had to stop the Avatar and Daimon regular from arguing.

"Not this early in the morning, please."

"Sorry, Katara.", they chorused together.

How synchronic they could be, when they didn't want to smash heads with each other, would astonish Katara forever.

Since neither Aang nor Hua wanted to give Katara any grief, they decided to drop the matter, for now.

Hua called for Jaiyi, who had been playing with the waves.

While her Kyuubi joined her and Katara on the saddle, Aang got Sokka out of his sleeping back, pretending there was a prickle snake in it.

They were ready now!

***

Serenly Appa was flying through the Patola Mountain range.

It's a great day for flying, musses Hua, as she sits beside Sokka and Katara on Appa's saddle, having Jaiyi in her lap.

Her nine-tails currently getting pats from her and Katara, as Sokka's stomach growls loudly.

The three females look at him in a deadpan.

Really?

He was hungry again?

They had breakfast about an hour and a half ago.

How was this possible?

"Hey, stomach? Be quiet, all right? I'm trying to find us some food.", grips Sokka with one hand his growling stomach and with the other reaches for their food bag.

His tongue out of his mouth full of anticipation, as he starts to go through it. 

He looks surprised for a moment, but quickly turns the bag upside down to pour the contents into his hand. 

Only a few crumbs land on his glove.

"Hey!", the water tribe warrior shouts, pointing an accusing finger in the direction of his companions. " Who ate all of my blubbered seal jerky?!"

"Oh. That was food? I used it to start the campfire last night. Sorry.", tells him Aang happily.

Hua makes a facepalm, Jaiyi just deadpans more and Katara can only shake her head.

Meanwhile Sokka nearly cries and whines about why the flames smelled so good last night.

"The Patola Mountain range! We're almost there!", announces Aang with excitement.

Katara and Hua look at each other, silently agreeing and they crawl towards Aang.

"Aang, we need to talk.", begins Hua.

"About what?"

"About the airbenders."

"What about 'em?"

"Well, we just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless.", tells him Katara. Sadly her hand goes to her chocker. "They killed my mother, and they could have done the same to your people."

In compassion the earthbender wraps an arm around Katara's shoulder, giving her a squeeze.

The older girl had told her this a few days ago, when they had bathed in a hot spring together, enjoying some time away from the males. Both had cried together for their dead family and comforted the other.

Still, Hua would always comfort Katara when she needed to, like Katara did with her.

However, this does not have the wished effect on Aang, because he just cheerfully says how the airbender probably escaped and how you can reach only one of the temples with a flying bison and he doubts the Fire Nation had.

So no worries.

For that Hua flicks the back of his head.

"Hey! What was that for?!"

"You are an unsensible brat, you know that?", hisses Hua. "Katara tells you her mother was killed and not even some condolences from you! What a great friend you are."

This makes Aang blush in embarrassment.

"Katara I-"

"Aang, Hua, it's okay, don't start to argue again, alright?"

"But-?"

Suddenly Jaiyi lets out a warning yip, as Appa starts to climb higher and higher the mountain. The only one who isn't screaming in surprise and tightly holding onto the saddle is Aang since he sits on Appa's head and holds the reins tightly.

After a few seconds, they break the cloud and there is it...the Southern Air Temple in its glory.

"Aang, it's amazing!", shouts Katara.

"Ha, I forgot the bumpy ride, but for this visual it's all worth it!", musses Hua, still holding Jaiyi tightly to her chest, as the nine-tails make an agreening sound.

"We're home, buddy! We're home.", says Aang with happy tears in his eyes to Appa.

A while later Appa lands them on one of the landing platforms of the temple and the humans with Jaiyi make their way towards it.

Of course, Aang was in the lead, Hua and Jaiyi behind him, making Katara and Sokka take up the rear.

With only a half ear Hua hears how Sokka wants food and Katara scolds him for it, reminding him how they are the first outsiders at the temple.

Since they touched down, the Daimon feels sick to the stomach. 

It's like she can taste the decay in the air.

Hearing screams of pain and plaids of mercy.

This is a graveyard and nothing more.

How she feels bad to think this about the temple.

Her point is only proven when Aang tells the others where he played airball with his friends, where the bison slept and trails off to admit how everything changed and only weed is remaining.

They quickly approach Aang. 

To lift his spirits Sokka plays with him airball and gets absulty demolished.

At least the Avatar is again in a good mood.

But poor Sokka who landed hard in the snow.

Hua has Jaiyi in her arms, looking at how Aang lets the airball twirl in his hands, wondering when she will be apply to do this, as Katara calls for them.

The younger ones walk towards them, only to see how Katara buries Sokka with snow.

"What's up?", ask Hua confused.

"Uh ... Just a new waterbending move I learned."

"Nice one! But enough practising.", exclaims Aang. "We have a whole temple to see!"

The airbender walks away and Hua follows after a second.

She has a feeling about what Katara and Sokka found and wants them to see, Hua tastes and feels it in the air, but maybe, just for a few minutes more, she can lie to herself.

Even if it was for a short time, the Southern Air Temple had been her home, it's already breaking her heart to see it so empty.

Hah, she is such a hypocrite!

Telling Aang he needs to face the truth when she is here trying to ignore it.

Jaiyi licks her cheek, trying to lift her spirits. In thanks, she gives her a kiss on the head.

For a few more minutes she will be just a girl, who returns home, then she will face the truth, she promises herself.

They reach the courtyard where Monk  Gyatso statue stands. 

"Hey guys!", Aang calls back to the water tribe siblings. "I want you to meet somebody!"

"Who's that?", asked Sokka.

"Monk Gyatso.", answers Hua, a tear slipping down her eye. "When I was brought to the Southern Air Temple he became my guardian. He was already Aang teacher and mentor, so I was his charge also."

"He was also the greatest airbender in the world and taught me anything I know.", adds Aang.

Together Aang and Hua bow before the monk both loved like a father/grandfather, remembering times long ago…

***

Hua is swinging all alone on a swing in a beautiful courtyard of the Southern Air Temple. She can see some bison calves eating grass and a few flying lemurs are sitting on the tree, where the swing is tied.

Her heart is heavy, but she refuses to cry.

“Of course, you are here.”, she hears the gentle voice of Monk Gyatso behind. “You want to tell what happened, Hua?”

She turns her head to the monk, stopping her swinging.

“Aang is an idiot and nothing more. I can’t believe he is supposed to be my other half.”, she grumbles.

Monk Gyatso frowns, stepping beside her. 

He pats her gently on the head.

It helps a little to feel better.

“Talk with me Hua, what happened?”

“I don't even remember anymore, we always are at each other throats for stupid things.", she admits quietly. "The Avatar and the Daimon are supposed to be a team, but Aang and I hate each other guts. It makes me feel like a failure. I'm more and more sure that the monks and the earth priests were wrong about us."

"Now, Hua, the only thing that they did wrong was telling you both your destiny and making you meet now and not at sixteen. But we can't concern ourselves with what was. We must act on what is.", Gyatso tells her calmy.

"I try, but I'm not really good at this. Will I be ever ready? Can Aang and I become friends or are we doomed to hate each other?"

"Your questions will be answered when you're old enough to enter the air temple sanctuary. Inside, you will meet someone who will guide you on your journey. Normally you would be brought to an Earth Temple Sanctuary, but the elders and our priests had to mix up anything.", was the last thing the monk huffed irritated.

A little smile forms on Hua's lips.

"I hope you are right because if not, I will bury Aang alive."

This makes both of them laugh.

"Give it time, little flower.", reassured her Gyatso. "You both were always friends in any of your lifetimes. You will find a common ground."

"Well, if you say so."

"Now, how about a hug? I can see that you need one.", smiles Gyatso grandfatherly at her.

The young girl grins and falls in the comforting embrace of the monk, who was more like a grandfather, than a teacher to her.

***

Aang and Hua are still bowing before the statue of their shared guardian, as Katara puts a hand on each of their shoulder. On the floor between them is Jaiyi, who snuggles the Avatar and Daimon to her best abilities.

"You must miss him.", says Katara in understanding to her two friends.

They confirm and start walking.

"Where are you going?"

"The air temple sanctuary.", begins Aang and Hua ends the sentence with:  "There's someone we are ready to meet."

Aang and Hua enter the hallway, Jaiyi following after them. 

Katara looks questioningly at Sokka, who just shrugs. 

They both start walking after the Avatar and Diamon.

The round symbol of intertwined air currents, the national symbol of the Air Nomads is largely embedded in the floor, surrounded by two square shapes that form some sort of sun together.

The quartet and nine-tailed fox have reached the entrance of the air temple sanctuary. 

The door supports a combination of metal-coloured pipes and three, blue, rolled-up, pipes that are similar looking and arranged like the symbol for airbending. 

The large wooden door is framed by the branches of an old tree standing on the left of it and the hallway is illuminated by sunlight that falls through little, round windows.

"But Aang, Hua no one could have survived in there for a hundred years.", protested Katara sceptically.

"It's not impossible. We survived in the iceberg for that long.", reminds Aang.

"Good point."

"Whoever is in there, will help us to become a fully realized Daimon and Avatar.", explains Hua.

Eagerly Sokka steps forward, with a hungry look in his eyes.

"And whoever's in there might have a medley of delicious cured meats!"

Full of anticipation and longing, Sokka charges at the door, but it will not budge and he simply smacks into it, head first. 

Hua, Katara and Jaiyi try not to laugh, but tiny giggles escape them.

The water tribe warrior quickly turns around and puts his back on it, trying to push the giant door open. 

When the door does not move, he sighs, slides down to the floor, disappointed, and rests against it.

"I don't suppose you have a key?", he ask towards Aang and Hua.

"The key, Sokka, is airbending.", simply states Aang.

Aang gets in position as he takes a deep breath. 

He spreads his arms and thrusts them forward, sending an air current into both of the tubes on the door. 

The air follows the path of the right air current as it travels through the pipe. The wind makes one of the blue curled tubes turn around. 

When it does, the tube changes colors to purple and the wind blows out like a horn. 

The process is repeated for the other two blue tubes as well. 

When the three blue tubes have turned and become purple, the door unlocks and it slowly starts to open.

Light penetrates the dark room. 

The doors sway open.

"Hello?", calls Aang into the room. Slowly stepping in. "Anyone home?"

The others follow behind him.

Inside the room there are a large amount of statues of people, lined up in a circular pattern.

It's always two statues beside each other, nearly every one of them holds hands, but there are a few who just stand beside each other.

"Statues? That's it? Where's the meat?", groans Sokka in disappointment.

"Who are all these people?", wonders Katara.

Aang and Hua look pensive at the statues around them.

"I'm not sure. But it feels like I know them somehow. ", states Aang.

The Dsimon nods.

"I have the same feeling, hey look!", she points at a female statue. "This one is an earthbender."

"That one's beside the earthbender is an airbender.", says Aang.

"And this one's a waterbender, who holds hands with a firebender. Never thought I would see that.", musses Katara before she realizes. "They're lined up in a pattern: air and earth, water and fire, earth and air, and fire and water!"

"These are the Avatar and Daimon Cycles!", shout Aang and Hua together.

"Of course. They're Avatars and Daimons. All these people are your past lives, Aang and Hua."

"Wow! There are so many!", exclaims Aang.

"They go till the highest point of the room!", notes Hua. "I wonder why some hold hands and others not."

Katara lets out a hum, then snaps her fingers.

"I bet the ones who are holding hands were couples and the ones who don't were friends."

"Huh...makes sense.", mumbled Aang, looking like he bite into a lemon. 

He feels deep down that Katara is right.

He so does not like this!

Hua is right behind him making a yucky sound, stating: "I can't believe we were that often a couple! I can see maybe ten or so who were only friends."

However, both start to follow along the circle, looking at the statues.

Meanwhile Sokka of course doesn't believe this reincarnation bullshit and Katara has to make clear how every Avatar and Daimon after they die gets reincarnation in the next nation in their cycle.

Transfixed the Avatar and Diamon stand before the last two statues in the room.

A male Fire Nation Avatar holding hands with a female Water Tribe Daimon.

It's strange, but Hua has a feeling the beautiful aged elderly lady statue is calling for her.

Like she had met an old, dear friend, the presence is calm and comforting.

She hears the whisper of crashing waves, the soft and cold touch of snow ...

"Aang! Hua! Snap out of it!"

Abruptly Hua and Aang get shaken from their daze by a worried Katara.

"Huh?", both chorused intelligently.

"Who are they?", wants Katara to know.

"That's Avatar Roku, the Avatar before me."

"And she is Daimon Lixue, my predecessor."

Sokka joins them jokily stating: "Aang was a firebender? No wonder I didn't trust you when we first met."

"I think I heard about Lixue.", mubles Katara. "Just I can't remember all about her."

"She was from the Southern Water Tribe, no wonder you heard about her.", explains Hua.

"You were one of our tribesmen? Really?", say Sokka in disbelief. "Way to return back home and lead firebenders to us."

"Sokka!"

"What Katara?!"

"You know what I mean! Don't play dumb!"

Her brother just gave Katara a big grin. 

The waterbender huffs, before she notices something.

"There's no writing. How do you know their names?"

Automatically the current Avatar and Daimon look at each other and shrug their shoulders.

"We just know.", they chorus.

"You two just couldn't get any weirder.", bemoans Sokka with crossed arms.

All this Avatar/Daimon mumbo-jumbo was so not his thing. 

He liked a scientific explanation for the world.

The quartet and Jaiyi startle and stare with big eyes in front of them when they hear something. 

They turn around. 

A blue light on the floor comes in through the door. A long-eared shadow of another being that is approaching moves over it. 

Hua hides with Jaiyi behind the statue of Lixue, as the others scatter to a hiding place.

She sees Sokka, who is holding his club ready for everything

The shadow is creeping closer. 

"Firebender.", whisper Sokka. "Nobody makes a sound."

"You're making a sound!", grumbles Katara irritated.

For that, all shush her, even Jaiyi!

The shadow has reached the bases of the statues and reveals a small figure standing in the doorway; it chitters.

Eh, what?

Confused Hua and Jaiyi look around their statue, like Aang and Katara, while Sokka has still his club raised, but doesn't use it.

Before them sits a flying lemur.

The animal moves his large ear and blinks at them.

"Lemur!", shouts Aang excitedly.

"Dinner!", shouts Sokka hungrily.

"Don't listen to him. You're going to be my new pet."

"Not if I get him first!"

Sokka stretches his hand while he excitedly lunges himself at the animal from behind the statue. 

Aang runs up at the lemur as well. 

The lemur arcs his back in fright, his ears, hair and tail standing upright as the snatching hands of the boys draw closer. It startles, quickly turns around and makes a break for it. 

The water tribe boy misses the animal and falls down, while Aang nimbly avoids tripping as well by using Sokka's head as a stepping stone. Quickly Sokka gets up and runs behind Aang and the lemur as they exit the sanctuary.

Now only the girls and the kyuubi remain.

Katara and Hua find each other eyes.

"Boys.", they both exclaim tired, as Jaiyi makes an agreeing sound.

"I'm not running after them.", makes Katara clear and steps to Hua and Jaiyi.

"Me neither. Shall we look around more, maybe we find something interesting."

"Sure."

So the girls and Jaiyi look around the room and the statues. 

Only a few minutes pass, and as the girls and Jaiyi stand again before Avatar Roku and Daimon Lixue Roku's eyes begin to shine!

"What the?!", shouts Hua surprised.

They look around the room and see how all Avatar statues light up.

"Spirits, this isn't good!"

"Hua, we need to find Aang!"

Immediately Hua lets Jaiyi down and the floor and commands: "Girl, find Aang, fast!"

The kyuubi doesn't need to be told and follow Aang's smell.

Behind her Hua and Katara follow her through the whole temple, as they see a large tornado.

"That must be Aang!", yells the Daimon.

Soon they reach the tornado that Aang has become and Sokka who is holding on to a rock.

"What happened?", yells Katra over the wind, trying to not get blown away.

"He found out firebenders killed Gyatso!", explains Sokka.

"Oh no! It's his Avatar Spirit. He must have triggered it! I'm going to try and calm him down!"

However, she can't even make a step forward as Hua's hand stops her.

"Hua, what?!"

Whatever Katara wants to say, she forgets it the moment she looks back at Hua.

The Daimon's eyes are shining in a burning orange as she speaks with a thousand voices: "Stay down. It's too dangerous. I will calm my other half."

So Hua has entered Daimon State, it was maybe better if she talked to Aang. 

Sokka thinks the same and grips his sister and Jaiyi, holding them protective to his side.

"Well, do it! Before he blows us off the mountain!"

From the Daimon comes only a nod, as she makes her way over to the enraged Avatar.

With ease, she bends away the currents and flying debris.

When she reaches finally Aang she takes his hands in hers.

The Avatar looks full of anger and pain to the Daimon.

"My Yin, don't lose yourself in the pain. I know how you feel. I loved Gyatso and the other airbenders too. They became my family far from home. Your pain is mine. You are not alone. You have me, I will always be by your side!"

"Always, my Yang?", asks the Avatar also with a thousand voices in one.

"Till the last star in the universe dies out. This is our eternal promise."

"I remember."

"We have a family. Katara and Sokka are our family. The loved ones we lost, get reborn in new loved ones."

Finally, the winds calm down and the Avatar descends back to Earth. The two half embrace each other tight and kneel down on the ground.

Slowly their eyes return back to normal, however, they don't let go of each other.

Right now, only their other half can understand their pain and anguish.

The water tribe siblings and Jaiyi join them.

Katara embraces the two young children like a loving mother, while Jaiyi licks their cheeks and Sokka puts each a hand on their shoulder.

"You both are not alone, me and Sokka are your family now.", reassured Katara.

"Katara and I aren't going to let anything happen to you two. Promise.", swerves Sokka.

"I'm sorry.", sniffles Aang.

"It's okay. Don't worry.", mumbles Hua back, rubbing his back in comfort.

"It wasn't your fault.", adds Katara.

"But you girls were right. And if the firebenders found this temple, that means they found the other ones, too. I really am the last airbender."

"Don't forget me.", reminds him Hua gently. "I'm just a quarter airbender, but it still counts."

A little wet laugh escapes Aang and he buries his head deeper into the Daimon shoulder.

For now, the storm was over.

***

They, Aang and Hua, are back again in the sanctuary, looking one last time at Avatar Roku and Daimon Lixue.

Katara joins them, saying: "Everything's packed. Are you two ready to go?"

"How are Roku and Lixue supposed to help us if we can't talk to them?", wonders Aang.

"No idea.", admins Hua, picking up Jaiyi, and cuddling her to her chest.

"Maybe you'll find a way.", stays Katara optimistic.

They glance at each other when they hear something behind them. 

Turning around they see the flying lemur standing on its back legs in the middle of the doorway. 

The animal reaches Sokka's feet and drops the load he is carrying: a variety of fruits. 

The lemur quickly dashes away as Sokka sits down and starts to stuff his face with the fruit, taking large bites of two different pieces of fruit. 

Amused Hua, Jaiyi, Aang and Katara smile at Sokka.

"Looks like you made a new friend Sokka!", tell him Aang smiling.

"Can't talk! Must eat!"

The flying lemur climbs onto Aang and hides behind his head, his tail curled around Aang's neck. 

Seems like someone wants to go with them.

The group makes their way back to Appa, with their new lemur friend.

Aang has a hand on Appa, while the lemur is sitting on his arm, as they look back at the Southern Air Temple in the distance.

"You, me and Appa; we're all that's left of this place. We have to stick together.", tells them Aang, before he turns to the others. "Katara, Sokka, Hua and Jaiyi say hello to the newest member of our family."

"What are you going to name him?", asked Katara curious.

Sokka is about to take another bite of the peach he is eating when the lemur jumps to him, stealing the fruit and returning to Aang.

He starts to nibble it with gusto.

Well, this gives Aang an idea for a name.

"Momo!"

Sokka still stands there, mouth open and hand in front of his mouth, ready to take a bite, however, he has no peach anymore. 

The others start to laugh upon seeing Sokka's expression.

After that, they mount Appa and fly away from the Southern Air Temple.

Dusk is settling as Aang looks with Momo at how his old home become tinier and tinier.

In silence, Hua with Jaiyi joins them.

The girl pats his shoulder, giving him a little smile, which he returns.

And so the Avatar and Daimon look together at how the Southern Air Temple vanishes behind clouds.

A silent sentinel of a chapter in their lives.

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[yuu-kumeii]

Dating Bokuto means appreciating the little things

He may not be there for most of the day but you'll always know he's missing you with every call and text during any free time he gets. Both of you have your own jobs so it might not be ideal for date planning, but you'll always make time for each other. Whether it's you getting off work early to see him practice with the Jackals or him bursting into your office to bring you lunch and a kiss for working so hard. You never lack any quality time together because you occupy each other's mind.

He also isn't the best at cooking, but you always appreciate it when he tries. You would often find yourself standing in the ruins of your once pristine kitchen, seasoning and stray pieces of cut vegetables laid across the floor all the way to the ceiling. The stove was off yet the smell of charcoal does not escape you and at the center of it all is your big owlish boyfriend, standing in the corner with a guilty look, fiddling with his thumbs and avoiding your gaze altogether. He knows you would be mad at the state of the kitchen, it shows in his posture. But you couldn't bring yourself to care about the mess, because sometimes after all the stress of work and the exhaustion of the mundane, it felt nice to know you're important enough to someone. So much so that they'd try something they aren't very good at if it means you feel loved and you do. You very much do. Walking up to him and softly calling his name, cooing at him to look at you. Bokuto raises his head slowly, only to find your gentle smile instead of exasperation.

"You're not mad?...." He asks carefully

"No..... Not today Bon" The tiredness of your voice gives him the impression that you're simply too tired to reprimand him. But that thought was reduced to a whisper at your next words.

"It's just.... Thanks for trying, I know you wanted to do something for me but just the thought is already enough" You continued with a smile, Bokuto could honestly cry right now. But he instead settles for one of his famous owl hugs, covering you in a blanket of warmth for your troubles.

Even if he can't cook, he will always try to make it easier for you. Going shopping for the ingredients, washing the vegetables, and even preparing the table. These are all things he does so all you have to do is make the food. Which compared to splitting cooking duty is the next best thing.

Your boyfriend is often called immature and you can't exactly refute it. He often rushes into things, at times he blurts out things without thinking, and he always had the energy most didn't. But you've been with him for long enough to know that it's not necessarily a bad thing, since after a while, you realize how happy you've been. Not just from all the moments you share together, but from simply being around him. You always regarded yourself as somewhat of a realist but also not exactly an optimist, always thinking that being optimistic is no different than being naive since you've never thought to find out for yourself if it was true.

But being with Bo has shown you that it's not about ignoring the bad, it's about seeing the good. Bad things might happen and you shouldn't ignore them, but instead look at the brighter side to find a solution. Being optimistic is more about trying to make a bad situation better, not to accept it. You see that now, all because your little big owl lover refuses to let you be put down by the hardships thrown at you. Whenever you're stressed or stuck, you notice how he tries to help. Even going as far as to ask his friends about things even he doesn't understand, Bo tries to find a solution when you just try to accept it. You may not be an optimist but you aren't going to be pessimist in this relationship anytime soon.

Bokuto isn't the type to be called 'traditionally reliable'. He's energetic and loud, often called childish and never seemed to garner the perception of reliable certain people expect. But to you, he's as reliable as he needs to be. He was always the first person to notice when you're down, always the first to do something about it. Whether it was asking what got you looking so down or inviting you to spend the day with him, he was always positive and was never afraid to share it with you. He was and still is your pillar of stability, knowing he always has your best interest in mind even if it didn't seem like it. Being childish is one thing, but it never meant he lacked the ability to be serious.

Though even if he is expected to be your unwavering pillar, his own weaknesses will always rear its head. There are times you would find him taking refuge under your kitchen table, seeming so quiet, so down, to the point where it worried you. Asking to join him under the table, seeing him scoot to the side to give you room, the silence only seems to raise your concerns. It takes a while before he extends an arm to you, beckoning you to come closer and you do. Savouring the moment of reprieve from the world outside together, you wonder what it is that's going through his head. It doesn't matter to you how long it takes for him to tell you, because for as long as you've been together, he always waited for you. So it's your turn to wait for him, to listen to his thoughts, to comfort him. He may be your pillar, but it's hard to forget that you're his too.

Dating Bokuto means appreciating the little things, but maybe it's more akin to appreciating the things he does for you.

[eljeebee]

Julie sat with her mother in her bedroom.

"I heard you're inviting someone over," Margaux said. "I've cleared up my Sunday schedule for you."

Julie gasped. "Mummy! You shouldn't have. I can move the dinner on a different day!"

Margaux laughed. "It's just one thing, my love. And I'd love to meet your new friends, Julie."

"They're lovely, Mum," Julie said. "They're so fun to hang out with, and they're very helpful when it comes to schoolworks. And they're so cute together! Oh, and did you know, Louie's dad is a Celebrity Chef! Louie brought lunch with him and shared it with us. It was delicious."

Margaux gasped. "Oh my! What's his name?"

"Chef Jason Davis," she said.

"The name's familiar," Margaux hummed. "Oh! That's the rising chef I've heard from the grape vines. Heard his meals are always hearty."

"Oh, it is!"

They giggled.

"Mum, did you know Sid and Louie live together?"

Margaux raised her brows. "Oh...didn't you say they have something between them?"

"Yes, but it's not like that," Julie said. "Sid doesn't have anyone left, so Louie's family let her stay with them. His family sounds lovely."

"They do," Margaux nodded. "I'd love to meet them some day."

"Me too, Mum."

Penny sat up from her office chair. She's turning in for the night when Bernie stopped her.

"Penny, do you know those kids that the twins are bringing on Sunday?" Bernie asked.

Penny nodded. "Yes, why?"

"What were their names?"

"Louie Davis...uh...and Sidera Harper?"

"Do you mind getting them a background check?"

"Are you sure?" Penny raised a brow. "Does the duchess know about this?"

"No...," Bernie groaned. "But she doesn't need to know!"

"They're kids, Bernie."

He sighed. "I know, but just to be sure..."

"You need to stop tolerating whatever Seamus is thinking, Bernie. He won't ever step out into the wild with you doting on him like a mummy duck," Penny sighed. "Based on what Julie's saying, I could see those kids are fine."

"Well...ugh, Julie's...Julie's optimistic," Bernie started. "So she tends to see everything with sunshine and rainbows."

"Your point?"

Bernie groaned. "My point is, Julie can be wrong, and Seamus might be right."

"Since when is Julie wrong?"

Bernie stared at him, lips on a thin line.

Penny stared at him back.

"Penrose, don't make this hard," Bernie warned, trying to make his voice serious.

"Why can't you do it, Bernie? I'm about to sleep."

He only stared at him harder.

She groaned, rolling her eyes. "Okay, alright, fine. You win."

He sighed in relief. "Thank you, Penny."

Penny returned to her seat, booting up her computer.

"Says here that Louie's father, Jason, is a celebrity chef," Penny noted. "And that his mother, Sophia, won the lottery prior to his parent's wedding. He has a younger brother named Mason."

"Well, looks like their kids are getting the headstart in the future," Bernie chuckled.

Penny rolled her eyes.

"Alright, on to Harper."

Penny typed. She crossed her arms, humming. She typed again.

"Sidera Harper...," she said. "Her father's Alfred Harper, who passed away years ago. Prior to that, her mother died in an accident. She's left with her aunt named Elizabeth Swanson, who had recently left her."

"And?"

"That's it."

"Why did her aunt leave her?"

"No idea, can't find anything." Penny shrugged. Then she sat straight, spinning her chair to Bernie. "Oh, wait! Doesn't the Swanson last name sound familiar?"

Bernie paused, "Yes, it does ring a bell."

He returned to his computer and typed away.

"She might be related to the Swansons," Bernie noted. "Or maybe...Elizabeth is a Swanson!"

"What about her niece?" Penny said. "Shouldn't her niece be a Williams? Elizabeth would have Charlotte Swanson as her older sister."

"You're right," Bernie nodded.

Penny gasped. "Do you think they're hiding something?"

Bernie looked back at her with a raised brow. "What?"

"It's known in the public that the Swansons faded into nothing, or whatever, and the public forgot about the accident...on a weird way. Won't that mean that they hid Sidera from her real identity to keep her safe from that accident? Look, Sidera doesn't look like this Alfred Harper. And look, Alfred was a butler for the family! The HS Intelligence are the only ones who kept archives of that accident, and the files about the family prior to that, no other news network or journalists have kept it in their deepwells. Do you think they're hiding her from something evil? Do you think the vampire attack was true?" Penny was breathing hard in excitement.

Bernie looked at her in shock. "Alright, alright, alright. Why don't we turn in for the night, yes?"

"You're such a killjoy, Bernie," Penny sighed, returning to her computer to shut it off.

"Let's keep this information away from the little family," Bernie said, shutting his own.

"I never had intention to do this anyway," Penny shrugged as she stood up from her desk. "Well? Do you think the kids passed your little background check?"

Bernie sighed. "Yes. Yes, they did."

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