#That last one tho

[corkinavoid]

The Random Pieces of Wisdom

"I dress to impress, you dress to depress, but we both achieve our goals in the end, so who's really winning here?"

- my coworker about my outfit (thanks, but, to be fair, I did wear the same shirt for the third day in a row)

"You can't go wrong if you don't have a plan"

- me @ my friend who was stressed out about planning their weekend

"Adding cheesecake into your instant noodles is like showing up with a bag of ice, a bottle of shaving cream and a stress ball to a housefire. Sure, you've got the right ingredients, but the end result is still going to be a disaster."

- my roommate (it was, in fact, a disaster that my tastebuds did not appreciate)

"When you say 'I can fix him', do you actually mean that, or do you mean 'I will break myself to get down on his level and never notice it because now we match'?"

- a friend @ the female lead in a manhwa they've been reading

[cuddles-with-dragons]

Even more shenanigans with Wolffe

Ahsoka: Where's Echo? Obi-Wan: Don't worry, I'll find them. Obi-Wan, shouting: Rex sucks! Echo, distantly: Captain Rex is the best person ever! Fuck you! Obi-Wan: Found them.

Obi-Wan, looking at their watch: It has been 2 hours and sixteen minutes since I’ve been insulted. Obi-Wan: It’s been about 5 seconds since I’ve been assaulted, but let’s not talk about that.

Echo: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. Fives: You and me! Echo: *tearing up* Ok.

Ahsoka: This can’t get any worse. Can it? Fives: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

Ahsoka, pointing to Wolffe: What color is his armor? Echo: Gray and white. Fives: Grey and white. Ahsoka, turning to Anakin: Now tell them what color you think it is. Anakin: White and dark white.

Wolffe: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.

Computer: Please enter a password. Anakin: *types in Rex* Computer: Your password is too weak. Anakin: How fucking DARE YOU-

Anakin: What is the one thing I told you not to do? Fives: Burn the house down. Anakin: And what did you do? Fives: I made dinner. Anakin: Fives: Anakin: Fives: And burnt the house down.

Cody: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year. Wolffe: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues? Rex: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Echo: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over a year and presumed dead by everyone. Also most of my friends are dead or missing.

[hopethisdoesntawakenanythingnme]

Pedro Pascal being absolutely unhinged in WW84 is very special to me

edit: added more gifs

[icycoldninja]

Dmc incorrect quotes

Nero, tearing up the room: Where are they? Nero, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? Nero: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

Dante: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.

V: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water? Nero: Because your toast would get soggy!

V: Let’s not Dante this into a worse situation than it already is. Dante: Did you just use my name as a verb?

Dante: Can you pass the salt? V: Can you pass away? Dante: Too much salt.

V: I drink to forget but I always remember. Nero: You're drinking orange juice.

Dante: I got an idea! V: Does it involve breaking the law? Dante: By now don’t you think that’s a given? V: I was just trying to be optimistic. Dante: Don’t bother.

Dante: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch". Nero: I see you're passing on your name.

Nero: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. V: Wasn’t Dante with you? Dante: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Nero, Vergil, and Dante are playing poker. Dante is winning by a long shot. Nero: Aw, come on. Vergil: It’s not fair! He doesn't even know what we’re playing! Dante: Go Fish?

Nero, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? Dante: grabs and chugs the entire bottle Dante: Dante: It's perfume.

Dante: What is wrong with you? Vergil: Many, many things… Vergil: And most of them are your fucking fault.

Dante: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass. Nero: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL! Dante: …Your point?

Nero: I can be your partner for the next race. Vergil: Sorry, Nero. It's a sibling race. Dante: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this. Vergil: It's only children, Dante. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!

Dante: They called me the B-word. Vergil: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.

Nero: If you’re going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it. Vergil: There is an alternative, then. Nero: Out with it. Vergil: You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones which certainly are there.

Vergil: If there’s one thing I learned from Dante, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

Nero, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?! Vergil, standing in front of Nero: bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen Nero, crying: Please…stop…

[guardian-angle22]

911 Lone Star | Paul Strickland & Asha Fulton at the Tarlos Wedding

[massy2ly]

The Heart Killers (2024)

[roane72]

ateez moments that live rent-free in my head (1/?)

(1)(2)(3)(4)

[earthfluuke]

Uea + 🇯🇵 BED FRIEND (2023)

[ihavethedreamies]

S.Coups Appreciation Post #1/??

itsawhitefreackingshirtwhyisitsohot

[bearlytolerant]

[link-sans-specs]

A little extra sans specs, as a treat. 🥰

Mythical Society

Bonus Round: Is Expensive Packaged Food Better?

[cuddles-with-dragons]

EVEN MORE SHENANIGANS

Fives, with his hands cupped over each other: I found a cool spider! Crosshair: Oh? Lemme see! Fives, opening his hands to see nothing there: …hm. Hunter: …where’s the spider. Fives: *looks troubled and stares at their hands* Crosshair: Oh no. Hunter: FIVES, WHERE’S THE SPIDER?!

Crosshair: Where have you been all day? Fives: Oh, just dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

Crosshair: *looks over Tech’s shoulder at their laptop* What the fuck? Tech: *slams screen shut* It’s just research! For something I’m writing about! I swear that’s it! Crosshair: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs? Tech: It’s not just “frogs”, it’s the Surinam Toad. And it’s not “breeding habits”, it’s how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know! Crosshair: That doesn’t change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction. Tech, offendedly: You don’t know that! Crosshair: I hear no denial.

Wrecker: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Fives will and will not eat. Echo: Grass? Yes! Wrecker: Moss? Yes!! Echo: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Wrecker: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Echo: Worms? Sometimes! Wrecker: Rocks? Usually nah. Echo: Twigs? Usually! Wrecker: Tech's cooking? Inconclusive! Hunter: How did you… test this? Wrecker: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it. Hunter: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Tech: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?!

Fives: Who wants to make fifty credits? Wrecker: How? Fives: I need someone to take the fall. Wrecker: What did you do? Fives: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Crosshair, from the other room: Fucking hell. Fives: ... Crosshair: FUCKING HELL! Wrecker: Make it a hundred. Fives: Deal.

Hunter: What’s something you guys are better than Crosshair at? Tech: Mario Kart. Echo: Yeah, video games. Fives: Emotional vulnerability.

Crosshair: You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you. Fives: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Crosshair: Absolutely not.

Hunter: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?

Crosshair: To everyone who has treated me poorly: I am sexier than you.

[mysterygrl20]

January 31, 2024 | NuNew | Marie Claire Korea's February Issue

[davidcxrenswet]

[dirty-bosmer]

Lucien's r/relationship_advice posts:

Girlfriend (21 F) suddenly acting like a different person. When I (40 M) confront her she plays dumb.

Been feeling really sick lately. I (40M) think my girlfriend (21F) has been poisoning me.

Found letter suggesting my girlfriend has been consorting with a Daedric Prince. Should I be worried? M40 F21 1 year together

Update: My girlfriend (timeless immortal being) is trying to kill me (M 40)

ajfshfklhgj stop trying to make me feel bad for him

[honorhearted]

Randomly generated headcanons (dash game)

B.enjamin T.allmadge needs a nightlight to sleep.

If the source media was a musical, Ben would be the one character who asks why everyone is singing.

Ben cracks his knuckles very loudly.

Ben gets road rage.

Ben likes board games, but no one else wants to play with him.

Ben is oblivous to any and all romantic interest someone may show him.

Ben could easily survive The H.unger G.ames.

Ben is not allowed to have energy drinks.

Ben instinctively cleans messes in his own house, as well as other people's.

Ben is smart, but also very stupid.

Tagged by: @richardxoliverxmayhew ~ thank you! <33

Tagging: YOU! <33 Aka whoever is reading this!