#should i write somewhere else
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#lets just establish this up top#no context needed#i like writing in the tags#should i write somewhere else#i dont know what im doing babyyyyyy#also maybe one day the world can see the fucked up version of this my friends made#should i add their names or is that like... doxxing?#do i @ them?#who knows?#also im too lazy right now but add zelda and sumi from persona in there#do it in your minds eye or whatever
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✨ Manifesting Bobadin for the finale ✨
#pls pls pls#when will Boba return from the war#save your man#he’s behind enemy lines#pinned down#he needs to be pinned down somewhere else#also#poetic boba is my favorite#where did that even come from??#i don’t know but I’m happy#he should write Din romantic haikus#im just saying#manifesting Bobas return tomorrow#pls i haven’t seen his beautiful bucket for so long#the mandalorian#din djarin#mando#fan art#my art#boba fett#bobadin#otp
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Raphaella Meets His Match
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
raph 🤝 mona getting in way over their heads
#tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt mona lisa#rise of the tmnt#rise mona lisa#rottmnt mona lisa#rise raph#rottmnt raph#tmnt raphael#rise ramona#rise raphmona#rottmnt ramona#rottmnt raphmona#tmnt fancomic#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#art#my art#rmhm#BWAHHHHHHHH i actually enjoyed making her human design so much that you got this so fast#i wasnt sure where i should cut this part off so now it seems extra dramatic#but like... i mean it is! thats crazy fucked up man!#i needed to cut it somewhere or else it was gonna b like 6 pages and youd never see it#also sideby hot boy ray sorry folks if you dont know him but he makes me laugh so much so hes here too now#my writing is a bit shit and phrases repeat sometimes so im sorry if its awkward to read
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.
I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.
it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.
(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)
I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.
the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.
obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.
#this was supposed to be a small post but . yk how it is#wrote this instead of working on my stupid art projects i am about to walk into the woods and never return i hate college#anyway. enjoy my rambling there's a point in there somewhere probably#nothing against the dev who said that btw i thought it was interesting for them to say since it is true#its hard to not think about the potential audience when creating something but we have to try to ignore them#i think i wanted to say more but whatever this generally covers my thoughts#and i know everything is subjective maybe people Do want their romanceable characters to be attractive and unproblematic#good for you. there's genres for that. but in a dark fantasy setting? some things just don't work like that. genres exist for a reason#i want my companions to be messy mfs not pretty perfect angels#also☝️dont be stupid i don't condone writers having personal agendas and writing hateful things#thats a completely different thing and obviously not what i meant#a writer should always be a neutral observer of their work. nothing else.#bioware critical#six speaks#oh also again... nothing wrong with um 'normal' and kind characters. but when everyone is like that it gets boring. variety ok
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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.
you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.
so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.
you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.
you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.
you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.
you know you broke the rule by interacting.
but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.
#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even#though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism#2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them#3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have#encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in#nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally#about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces#and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided#tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla#6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl#i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this#nyarla dni#<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks#adding this wayy later but a crucial part of the experience i Almost talked about it this but never explicitly did was that like#the measures ppl take to 'defend against men' are often deeply transmisogynistic as well. obviously#and when i see that it hurts me too. not that it hits me the same way when strangers assume im a trans woman and hate me for it#but it doesn't feel good to see transphobia at all. i focused on how that relates to other kinds of transphobia#namely transandrophobia here but like. it's all connected. lesbain separatism + exclusionism relies on both and they aren't always#distinct experiences. ime. anyway trans ppl i love all of you forever#i just thought me writing “*turns to the camera* and trans women exp this too.' wouldve been too much even for this post#i figured the audience would like. know that. and so far it hasn't been an issue. i have not been yelled at thanks guys 🫶
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Friede, Amethio and Zeiyu..
#love how my man effortlessly and randomly gets on their nerves <3#friede was so cute this ep though.. the way he actually wanted to play and enjoy the festival in his own way#he was soo cute.. even at the end he was still willing to take on zeiyu's challenge#because he wanted to have fun too! it's just that he needed to look for briar#i actually have thoughts about friede's competitive spirit. but can't exactly articulate them right now#something something about how friede is usually the responsible leader and carries a Lot in terms of things and people to protect#but he likes battles too and i think he wanted to channel his competitive spirit somewhere. something he can't exactly do with the rvt#which is why imo he was happy to have found a rival in amethio. because he gets to show that side of him with someone#amethio is as important to friede as friede is to him. because friede gets to be competitive with him in a battle setting with an equal.#something that he can't do anywhere else.#anyway. i should get around to writing more on their rivalry someday#i think the setting is a bit similar with zeiyu.#it feels like friede gets competitive around people he genuinely likes.#i feel like he values people who are straightforward and honest?#and both amethio and zeiyu are open about challenging others etc..#friede probably doesn't respect(? for lack of better word) fake people (like spinel lmao)#anyway. it's all interesting stuff#and in the end it comes off as teens beefing with friede and him accidentally provoking them and i think that's hilarious#hz069#friede#zeiyu#character notes#episode notes
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Pray for my fanfiction guys. ff.net has been down for the last day and a half from the sounds of it.
#my writing#my fanfiction#I know I should transfer it over to somewhere else#but that sounds like such a huge undertaking#and ff feels like home#you don’t actually have to pray
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do people like. Not realise that it is possible to be critical of two things at once or
#seeing some wild posts about the situation of Bangladeshi hindus. Be safe you all#I think we can condemn these attacks while also calling out Islamaphobia in India. One doesn't cancel out the other.#and—here's the mindblowing thing; you may need to sit down for this—it might actually be possible to do this without drawing up#graphs and charts to show evidence of why your pain is greater than someone else's pain.#Different resources and help being required in different countries. Spotlighting one does not have to eat into the resources of the other#No one should need to prove that 'actually WE are suffering more' like do we not have#the capacity for compassion for two different situations at once or are we 5 years old?#also there's literally no need to drag another ethnicity into this; our country doesn't exactly have a great record on islamophobia...#please let's show our concerns and support WITHOUT sounding like online h*ndutvas please please please thank you#and before you respond in my inbox: anon is off; fuck off. Why do you think this is in tags and not in the post?#I don't want to talk to you and I don't have to. Didn't write this to get argued at by you.#B*P hounds can go be mad somewhere else.
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new dakavendish au dropping in a bit
#fic should be finished soon. I’m having the time of my life writing it#self indulgent? HELL yes. when are my fics ever anything else tho#milo murphy's law#dakavendish#cavendish#dakota#my art#my fics#also when I say soon I mean somewhere between an hour and 11 months. you know how it is
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Someone (who is not me) should use this Irish Folktale I stumbled on as the basis for a Stucky AU.
Because listen, it's weirdly perfect?
Very Abridged Version: There is a prince. He is noble, kind, smart, strong, tall, beloved, and known for heroic acts. Then his mom dies. (Are you guys already following me? Can I just call the prince Steve for the rest of the post?)
The villain of the story uses magical cheating to force the prince Steve to go on a yearlong quest to retrieve three items. It will be nearly impossible, and the most likely scenario is that Steve will die trying.
Steve goes to see his friend the druid — because this is a folktale — who tells him there's a slim chance he won't die if he seeks the guidance of a bird with a human head. The druid also tells Steve that he has to take the druid's horse on his quest.
Fun turn of events! The horse can talk! Steve and the horse (definitely an actual horse and not how Bucky has entered this story) bond in their three-day journey to the bird. The folktale doesn't tell us what they talk about on their journey. So you can decide that in your heart, I guess. They clearly became very close friends.
Steve talks to the bird. Then Bucky the horse guides/saves Steve from multiple dangers. Steve doesn't get eaten by serpents! Steve doesn't catch on fire!
But then Bucky the horse is like, so hey, now that we've arrived outside this castle that holds one of the quest items? I need you to murder me.
And then this ridiculously dramatic back-and-forth happens. Absolutely not Bucky the horse says he has to die before Steve can get inside the castle. (There's a complicated explanation here about wearing horse skin so Steve can bypass things, but I'm skipping that.) Steve says he'd "never sacrifice a friend for personal interest!" The horse? Bucky? says that if Steve murders him, and then puts a special healing ointment on his corpse when he returns, things will work out better than Steve thinks. He says things will be much worse if Steve doesn't. He pleads. He asks Steve to just trust him. Steve eventually agrees.
Steve sobs while stabbing the — Bucky. He sobs the whole way into the castle. Like, the man is a wreck, okay? He can't think. He can't even appreciate the beauty of the castle/town because he's so distraught. ("It held no charms for him [...] the thoughts of his loss were paramount over all other considerations.") Please remember they've known each other for three days at this point.
He gets the item. He makes it back outside. He sobs more. He starts to apply the ointment to the corpse. Steve thinks about how doing this is "an act of love." And then!
Bucky? turns into "the handsomest young man imaginable," throws his arms around Steve, and starts repeatedly kissing him ("smothering him with kisses"). They stand, "locked in an embrace," for a while. Bucky! calls Steve the "best sight he's ever seen," and himself the luckiest person ever for having met him!
So, hey! Surprise! Bucky! Is also a prince! He was cursed! He was trapped! Steve saved him! He broke the curse with his act of love! And his trust in Bucky! They both cry more! They have joy! This section uses the word joy like nine times!
And! The castle belongs to Bucky's older brother, the king! All the items Steve needs are actually right inside, and Steve can just have them now! Also, he can just stay with them in the castle for his quest year! So, Steve does! And then there's something in there about their "mutual joy" and "enjoyment of fascinating pleasures." Good for them. I'm so glad they had a whole year of fascinating pleasure. (Look, I know the text I'm quoting here was written down in 1851. Different times and all that. But, I also feel like that's the kind of quote you could definitely include in an AU. So.)
They are very sad when Steve eventually goes home. "Filled with regret," even. Steve promises he'll visit at least once a year. The villain is so mad about Steve's victory that they throw themselves out a window and die (no, really), and then Steve is king and rules his kingdom. Heroically! The end!
And, okay, I mean, there is nothing in the story to say Steve doesn't have a long-distance relationship with his boyfriend, who is also royalty. Or that, since Bucky is a younger brother, he never, you know, moves three days down the road. In fact, I really feel like this would be a great ending. (I kept waiting for this story to have a part near the end where Bucky was like, hey, since you're a hero, meet my sister! Marry her! Unite our kingdoms! Because that is how every other fairytale/folktale I've ever read has ended? But no. Instead I got, spend the year with me! Fascinating pleasure! And no one got married! This story is really something.)
Anyway: This is about an Irish prince dramatically rescuing another prince from a curse he's been trapped in, through his faith in that prince and with an "act of love." Also, the two of them are obsessed with each other. It's begging for a Stucky AU. Someone please write it.
(Update: @raven-writes-fanfic is writing a fic based on this!)
#there's a great AU in there somewhere#I don't know exactly what it is#and I have too much else I'm working on to try and figure it out#but someone should do it because this is already very them#SteveBucky#My writing#(sort of)#(I'm weirdly awake very very far past my normal bedtime#(I am sorry if this is at all incoherent as a result)
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Your intuition can become blocked when you leave so many things undone, when you don’t complete tasks, when there is too much clutter in your environment and in your head. Clear up the messiness, organize your life, throw away things you don’t need, cleanse your energy. Complete things for the sake of checking them off that long to-do list you keep putting off.
To receive insights and creative ideas and motivation to get things done.. you must make space for the new to come in.
#I’m gunna be posting random stuff the next little while..#i have so many ideas that I’m frozen in place so I need to start somewhere#adhd and spiritual awakening the how-to (I should write a book)#right after I clear my head of everything else I’ve wanted to do 🥲#intuition#spirituality#mental health#divine guidance#cleanse your energy
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I think I'm going insane. Lately my dreams have been so mundane, it wouldn't be weird if I wasn't just a person that has nightmares 80% of the time, so I now my dreams are so hard to distinguish from reality.
I wouldn't be able tell what was real from what not if it wasn't because last night I went to my doctor's appointment and I was handed new glasses by Harvey just to go back home and find out Laois was cooking something in my backyard.
#to be fair. in my dream i was back at my old house. so the horrors where there still#also i've been dreaming about my dog. but sometimes it's not him. it's other dog trying to replace him. but it's not him. i miss him dearly#but it's... weird. i never actually dream with characters either. something strange is going on#I've been telling my brother i wake up and i have to remember who i am#for the totally normal dreams. it's like my soul is divided and it's living somewhere else for the night#who is the person i am when i dream. because it's not me. it's a whole different live. whole different people around me. I'm going insane#there's such a strange feeling about it. it's familiar? it's comfortable?#which only makes it even more weird. why is a life so different to mine feel so comfortable...#to the point i wake up and i don't remember who i am for at least ten minutes#but then i forget what i had dreamt about. and then i go around my day randomly reminding things. then that's when i realize those memories#were actual dreams#i should write a fanfic about this lmao#it was a nice dream though. i remember vividly i was sitting in one of those chairs thingies that hang in the air?#and i was swinging happily. i think Laios was talking about where he got whatever the fuck he was cooking. i couldn't understand him really.#he wasn't speaking in spanish but it wasn't english either. i think it was a made up gibberish... I'm still baffled by how comfortable i was#i think there were friends around too. maybe a hangout was going on? everything was nice. it reminds me of the times#i would go eat at a friend's house. but things felt a lot nicer. it was like if time had stopped and nothing wrong could ever happen.#and even then. i was still there. which i think that's why i started to feel dizzy in my little swing. i ended up waking up from that.#i still get dizzy remembering it.#welp. I hope i don't lose myself tonight...#I don't actually know what's worse. the nightmares are common. they are familiar. there's comfort in knowing what to expect.#but “good” dreams like that... i end up thinking about them too much. the residual feeling is weirder#and i have to deal with the whole different layer that is.. there's was a fucking anime guy there. kill me. kill me. get him OUT of my brain#I'm not lying when I say I can physically feel Laios rearranging my brain in ways i will not share publicly#kill me.
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Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.
Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray
And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye
But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...
YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it
#oh to be miraposting on a sunday evening instead of catching up on schoolwork#I love how you can see the exact moment while writing this that I had a brain blast akdhks#me: sorry I can't elaborate also me: types out. three paragraphs#also if you're comfortable with that I'm curious what you could have possibly said that it'd be considered fumbling#dms are open if you send it into an ask I'll answer privately and again only if you want to share#cause like I want to see different perspectives on this so bad even if they're not eloquent#especially since it's not really something that ever got to me much? but that I can kinda see why it'd be upsetting#my suspension of disbelief is just too tanked for it to get an emotional reaction of me especially with the rest of the cast for contrast#I'm too busy being annoyed at everyone else's portrayal in that game not to mention idk it feels like#like schlocky hollywood no thoughts character archetype go brr type ableism#not the really insidious woven into the narrative stuff that I usually want to rant about cough cough youtube video I'll probably never mak#like pretty sure it's stated somewhere that the idea for her character was uchikoshi going hm. there's been femme fatales in these games#but none of them have been Really “Fatale” you know? he literally just wanted the big booba character to also be the stabby character#zero escape#ztd#mira ztd#if this should be under a readmore. let me know#zero escape spoilers#escape room convention but it's a time loop
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Day 15
“Tatsumi-senpai, have you ever kissed anyone?” Kaname asked, sitting across from the other boy in the catacombs. Everyone else had left for the night leaving the two of them alone.
“Why are you asking?” Tatsumi replied, confused as he moved one of his chess pieces on the board. Kaname didn’t know anything about how the game worked and was mostly just guessing at where the pieces moved.
“A-ah it’s nothing, I was just wondering…I haven’t kissed anyone.” Kaname could feel his face heating up. God this was embarrassing, why was he doing this?
“I haven’t kissed anyone either.” Their game of chess forgotten for the moment. Kaname’s face burned even hotter.
“Would you--would you like to try kissing?” He barely squeaked out. How was the great Kaname Tojou such a loser when it came to his crush? He should be confident and yet here he was.
“Can you repeat that, Kaname-san?” He loved the way his name sounded in Tatsumi’s voice. It made him want to die in the moment though.
“Can I--Can we try…kissing?” His voice was still soft but evidently loud enough for Tatsumi to hear if the slight blush on his face was evidence of anything. Tatsumi gently moved their chess board to the side and slid closer to Kaname. Kaname felt his heart rate pick up at the proximity as Tatsumi leaned in closer.
How was he supposed to kiss? He tried to remember the movies and how they did it, closing his eyes and letting Tatsumi guide him, his lips slightly parted. The moment Tatsumi’s lips touched his he thought he would fly, and evidently his mouth moved before he could think, as Tatsumi let out a yelp and brought a hand to his lips.
Kaname bit him. Oh how embarrassing! It wasn’t enough to draw blood but still!
“I’m so sorry Tatsumi-senpai! I didn’t mean to do that! Oh god--”
Tatsumi laughed. Kaname stopped in his tracks as Tatsumi continued laughing. He wasn’t laughing at Kaname, though, or at least not at Kaname as a person, but rather at his reaction to the whole thing.
“It’s okay, Kaname-san. We can try again if you’d like.”
“Y-yes I’d like that very much.”
They leaned in again and Kaname clenched his jaw to keep himself from biting Tatsumi again, but he got a little overeager again and felt their heads bump into each other and not where their lips were (which was where he was aiming for). Kaname curses under his breath but Tatsumi giggles again (a heavenly sound to Kaname’s ears) and cups his face before gently guiding him to Tatsumi’s lips.
Kaname was too in shock to do anything for a moment. He was kissing someone. And not just someone. He was kissing Tatsumi Kazehaya, heartthrob of Reimei Academy. He closed his eyes and relaxed, reaching to grab Tatsumi’s blazer and pull him closer. He felt their teeth clack together but it wasn’t as bad as their first attempt and for Kaname, that was enough.
They pulled away, panting heavily, and Kaname noticed that Tatsumi’s pupils had dilated. He wanted to pull Tatsumi in for another kiss but held himself back, at least for a moment.
“That wasn’t so bad,” Tatsumi spoke, breathless and full of affection.
“No, it wasn’t.” Kaname pulled Tatsumi back in for another kiss, narrowly avoiding bumping their heads together again. He could do this forever, just him and Tatsumi in the catacombs, kissing to their hearts content.
#shay writes#tatsukana#january writing challenge#WE'RE BACK ON TRACK BABEY#i already wrote tomorrow's fic too i will have to edit it#but i'm on a roll today i might work on one of my longer fics#if i dont work on something longer i will die i swear. sobbing#options options.... kaokana fic. big bang fic editing.... the newest longform wip edition which is the madaleo fic#umu what else.........#idk actually there probably is another longer wip somewhere#ignoring the madashu part 2 fic i promised IM SORRY I HAVE NOOOO MOTIVATION FOR THAT ONE RECENTLY#i should do a different madashu fic though. for funsies. i should start a new one#OH THE MADATATSU ONE I WAS WORKING ON RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT#yes yes okay but that one i think i am also putting on the back burner for a bit#but yeah i'm going insane i need to write something longer#i am going insaneeeeeeee just writing short stuff so expect less posting from me in february#for a while anyway we'll see if i can maybe get some chapters of other stuff up#but yeah. anyway cutesies tatsukanas today#cutesies rinniki tomorrow that i've already had people read on discord#and we'll follow it with cute madaleos on thursday i prommy i prommy
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2024 June Mithra voice line hearts heartsss HES SO STUPID, MY LIL IDIOT <3
Cloaked in a pearl white wrapping of a few thin layers of lace. Romantic red roses and baby breaths kiss the bride in the stead of her groom; arranged in an intricate design hugged within the milky robe. Lastly, tied together beautifully with a mauve purple ribbon.
"Master Sage, this is for you.”
That exact bouquet passes onto your hands. Soft, subtly sweet scent of the rose curtsies under your enchanted gaze. Perhaps it was the burning love of the couple engraved passionately into its stem; sealed with an eternal kiss or... something uncanny you suspect the nonchalant Northern Wizard had whipped up when your hopeful eyes raised to meet his weary, clueless ones.
"I was walking around the market to kill time when someone forced it on me." He pauses and looks to the side, shaking his head. "No... it came flying at me.”
Mithra presses his palm against the side of his head before heaving a sigh. Now, an annoyed look formed on his face. Not quite the 'bothersome-equals-violence' type of look at least, you thank the Gods he manage to not start a bloodbath at a blissful ceremony.
His eyes soon fall back onto your smaller figure, lazily ruffling his hair at the spot the bouquet had previously come in contact, a few loose rose petals fell out from his head. "It didn't hurt, but the humans there stopped cheering when they noticed me," sulked the heedless man.
"There were bells ringing and people surrounded wearing gaudy white clothes." was he not proposing...? You despairingly thought.
Gradually, the exchange of what you thought was a romantic gesture turned into bombards of questions about humans' 'peculiar' traditions. Gatherings? Rituals? Bells ringing? Aisle? You could only blankly stare as he spared no time for an explanation. Not like you'd want to go through all of that right now anyways.
Regardless, Mithra still looks miffed at his fateful encounter; unconsciously rubbing his neck, tracing his stitch mark along the side.
"I have no use for it, so decorate it or do whatever you want with it."
Only after he had finished illustrating winning the supreme wedding lottery in the most atrocious way possible did he notice your perplexed expression. This was nowhere near his anticipation... at all. He simply thought it was an item you'd deem 'beautiful', why were you not smiling like usual?
You on the other hand, parted your lips without a word, shortly curled to a pout filled with displeasure. You were so close, soooo close to just kicking him for poking with your feelings. Not counting the blush too, may I add?!
Taken aback, Mithra tilts his head to the side at a loss for words, wondering if he had somehow made you upset.
That's when you finally realise—he's completely clueless, isn't he?
Somehow the most 'Mithra-thing' managed to threaten tears to fall from your eyes. You should've gotten used to this by now, honestly. Using the bouquet, you embarrassingly hid your face behind the abundance of flowers and turned your back against him.
Reluctantly, Mithra finally broke the silence with the most innocent expression you imagine he could possess.
"Master Sage..." He pulls you backwards into his chest. "Did you not like it?"
... at least he thought of you, right?
#thinking if i should write for the other june wedding themed voice lines too... but mithra- mITHRAS#overflowing bouquet#mahoyaku#mahoutsukai no yakusoku#mithra#mahoyaku mithra#promise of wizards#魔法使いの約束#originally wrote this for somewhere else but i realised#like dang this aint that half bad#guess ill post it :>>
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