#should i write somewhere else

[jefferkyleson]

[mando-din-lorian]

✨ Manifesting Bobadin for the finale ✨

[bulbabutt]

Raphaella Meets His Match

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

raph 🤝 mona getting in way over their heads

[crownedwille]

.

[wizardsix]

I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.

I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.

it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.

(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)

I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.

the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.

obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[au-set]

2024 June Mithra voice line hearts heartsss HES SO STUPID, MY LIL IDIOT <3

Cloaked in a pearl white wrapping of a few thin layers of lace. Romantic red roses and baby breaths kiss the bride in the stead of her groom; arranged in an intricate design hugged within the milky robe. Lastly, tied together beautifully with a mauve purple ribbon.

"Master Sage, this is for you.”

That exact bouquet passes onto your hands. Soft, subtly sweet scent of the rose curtsies under your enchanted gaze. Perhaps it was the burning love of the couple engraved passionately into its stem; sealed with an eternal kiss or... something uncanny you suspect the nonchalant Northern Wizard had whipped up when your hopeful eyes raised to meet his weary, clueless ones.

"I was walking around the market to kill time when someone forced it on me." He pauses and looks to the side, shaking his head. "No... it came flying at me.”

Mithra presses his palm against the side of his head before heaving a sigh. Now, an annoyed look formed on his face. Not quite the 'bothersome-equals-violence' type of look at least, you thank the Gods he manage to not start a bloodbath at a blissful ceremony.

His eyes soon fall back onto your smaller figure, lazily ruffling his hair at the spot the bouquet had previously come in contact, a few loose rose petals fell out from his head. "It didn't hurt, but the humans there stopped cheering when they noticed me," sulked the heedless man.

"There were bells ringing and people surrounded wearing gaudy white clothes." was he not proposing...? You despairingly thought.

Gradually, the exchange of what you thought was a romantic gesture turned into bombards of questions about humans' 'peculiar' traditions. Gatherings? Rituals? Bells ringing? Aisle? You could only blankly stare as he spared no time for an explanation. Not like you'd want to go through all of that right now anyways.

Regardless, Mithra still looks miffed at his fateful encounter; unconsciously rubbing his neck, tracing his stitch mark along the side.

"I have no use for it, so decorate it or do whatever you want with it."

Only after he had finished illustrating winning the supreme wedding lottery in the most atrocious way possible did he notice your perplexed expression. This was nowhere near his anticipation... at all. He simply thought it was an item you'd deem 'beautiful', why were you not smiling like usual?

You on the other hand, parted your lips without a word, shortly curled to a pout filled with displeasure. You were so close, soooo close to just kicking him for poking with your feelings. Not counting the blush too, may I add?!

Taken aback, Mithra tilts his head to the side at a loss for words, wondering if he had somehow made you upset.

That's when you finally realise—he's completely clueless, isn't he?

Somehow the most 'Mithra-thing' managed to threaten tears to fall from your eyes. You should've gotten used to this by now, honestly. Using the bouquet, you embarrassingly hid your face behind the abundance of flowers and turned your back against him.

Reluctantly, Mithra finally broke the silence with the most innocent expression you imagine he could possess.

"Master Sage..." He pulls you backwards into his chest. "Did you not like it?"

... at least he thought of you, right?

[mypeggableromance]

it's my birthday!! on one hand it's a day that I can fully decompress and find joy in spending quality time with friends and family, on the other hand Its kinda surreal lol I'll explain in the notes because its kinda dire

[aeolianblues]

do people like. Not realise that it is possible to be critical of two things at once or

[amelikos]

Friede, Amethio and Zeiyu..

[ejzah]

Pray for my fanfiction guys. ff.net has been down for the last day and a half from the sounds of it.

[danvillecheese]

new dakavendish au dropping in a bit

[tenwhiteandalusians]

is episode 8 the domitian arc ? more on this and EVEN MORE narratives i’ve been ignoring that the show said “actually,,,” about in 5

[voylitscope]

Someone (who is not me) should use this Irish Folktale I stumbled on as the basis for a Stucky AU.

Because listen, it's weirdly perfect?

Very Abridged Version: There is a prince. He is noble, kind, smart, strong, tall, beloved, and known for heroic acts. Then his mom dies. (Are you guys already following me? Can I just call the prince Steve for the rest of the post?)

The villain of the story uses magical cheating to force the prince Steve to go on a yearlong quest to retrieve three items. It will be nearly impossible, and the most likely scenario is that Steve will die trying.

Steve goes to see his friend the druid — because this is a folktale — who tells him there's a slim chance he won't die if he seeks the guidance of a bird with a human head. The druid also tells Steve that he has to take the druid's horse on his quest.

Fun turn of events! The horse can talk! Steve and the horse (definitely an actual horse and not how Bucky has entered this story) bond in their three-day journey to the bird. The folktale doesn't tell us what they talk about on their journey. So you can decide that in your heart, I guess. They clearly became very close friends.

Steve talks to the bird. Then Bucky the horse guides/saves Steve from multiple dangers. Steve doesn't get eaten by serpents! Steve doesn't catch on fire!

But then Bucky the horse is like, so hey, now that we've arrived outside this castle that holds one of the quest items? I need you to murder me.

And then this ridiculously dramatic back-and-forth happens. Absolutely not Bucky the horse says he has to die before Steve can get inside the castle. (There's a complicated explanation here about wearing horse skin so Steve can bypass things, but I'm skipping that.) Steve says he'd "never sacrifice a friend for personal interest!" The horse? Bucky? says that if Steve murders him, and then puts a special healing ointment on his corpse when he returns, things will work out better than Steve thinks. He says things will be much worse if Steve doesn't. He pleads. He asks Steve to just trust him. Steve eventually agrees.

Steve sobs while stabbing the — Bucky. He sobs the whole way into the castle. Like, the man is a wreck, okay? He can't think. He can't even appreciate the beauty of the castle/town because he's so distraught. ("It held no charms for him [...] the thoughts of his loss were paramount over all other considerations.") Please remember they've known each other for three days at this point.

He gets the item. He makes it back outside. He sobs more. He starts to apply the ointment to the corpse. Steve thinks about how doing this is "an act of love." And then!

Bucky? turns into "the handsomest young man imaginable," throws his arms around Steve, and starts repeatedly kissing him ("smothering him with kisses"). They stand, "locked in an embrace," for a while. Bucky! calls Steve the "best sight he's ever seen," and himself the luckiest person ever for having met him!

So, hey! Surprise! Bucky! Is also a prince! He was cursed! He was trapped! Steve saved him! He broke the curse with his act of love! And his trust in Bucky! They both cry more! They have joy! This section uses the word joy like nine times!

And! The castle belongs to Bucky's older brother, the king! All the items Steve needs are actually right inside, and Steve can just have them now! Also, he can just stay with them in the castle for his quest year! So, Steve does! And then there's something in there about their "mutual joy" and "enjoyment of fascinating pleasures." Good for them. I'm so glad they had a whole year of fascinating pleasure. (Look, I know the text I'm quoting here was written down in 1851. Different times and all that. But, I also feel like that's the kind of quote you could definitely include in an AU. So.)

They are very sad when Steve eventually goes home. "Filled with regret," even. Steve promises he'll visit at least once a year. The villain is so mad about Steve's victory that they throw themselves out a window and die (no, really), and then Steve is king and rules his kingdom. Heroically! The end!

And, okay, I mean, there is nothing in the story to say Steve doesn't have a long-distance relationship with his boyfriend, who is also royalty. Or that, since Bucky is a younger brother, he never, you know, moves three days down the road. In fact, I really feel like this would be a great ending. (I kept waiting for this story to have a part near the end where Bucky was like, hey, since you're a hero, meet my sister! Marry her! Unite our kingdoms! Because that is how every other fairytale/folktale I've ever read has ended? But no. Instead I got, spend the year with me! Fascinating pleasure! And no one got married! This story is really something.)

Anyway: This is about an Irish prince dramatically rescuing another prince from a curse he's been trapped in, through his faith in that prince and with an "act of love." Also, the two of them are obsessed with each other. It's begging for a Stucky AU. Someone please write it.

(Update: @raven-writes-fanfic is writing a fic based on this!)

[szaryherbatnik]

Tough day rambles

In a world with a different setting id be a prophet or a person with cool visions, id be a person worthy of protection and trust and friendship. Here im just paranoid and i worry about the wrong things. Somewhere else when i dance on my way to a shop everyone thinks im full of joy and whimsy and they dont think im drunk or childish. Somewhere else i can be around people for more than 5 hours before i shut down for the rest of the day. Somewhere else i dont remind everyone im stupid and dumb and i dont describe everything i do and feel as "slight" and "little" and "a bit", im able to love romantically and dream of tenderness and give it and recieve it. Idk i just hate myself a lot.

[alchemyofmaya]

Your intuition can become blocked when you leave so many things undone, when you don’t complete tasks, when there is too much clutter in your environment and in your head. Clear up the messiness, organize your life, throw away things you don’t need, cleanse your energy. Complete things for the sake of checking them off that long to-do list you keep putting off.

To receive insights and creative ideas and motivation to get things done.. you must make space for the new to come in.