#should i start tagging for Crusty?

[cogitxtio]

Presented without context.

[copia]

endless ghifs 11/? ⛧ source — "I don't wanna end like this—"

[hornyjailbreaking]

ꕤ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ꕤ

Minors do not interact! This post is NSFW and dd:dne!

ꕤ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ꕤ

Once upon a time (April 6th 2024) I have written a drabble (1,3k words) about my favorite DoL yandere (Kylar) for myself, my friend, and any other freaky Kylar lovers. It was originally posted on my friend's blog with my permission, but they have since deactivated. Now I'm reposting both the original drabble and the follow-up drabble.

Written in second person POV (you/yours)

WARNINGS/TAGS: Fem! Reader x Kylar, stepbrother!Kylar, older brother!Kylar, pseudoincest/stepcest, corruption, dubcon (but consent is given), creampies, breeding, fucked-up family dynamics, Kylar is a pathetic pervert (what else is new)

Imagine getting adopted into Kylar's family. The parents are a little absent and your new big brother is a total loser, but it really isn't all that bad at first. Sure, he's a bit cringey in how overexcited he is about having a younger sister, but maybe he's just always wanted a sibling? Surely that's the reason. The fact that he's drooling while he thinks you aren't looking is just a coincidence! It happens!

Then he starts getting clingy. At first it's just touching your hand while giving you something or brushing you with his shoulder while he sits on the couch with you. Then he's asking for hugs and insisting that you have to hold hands whenever you go out. Then he tries to guilt-trip you into giving him a smooch on the cheek. You cave almost immediately, because he looks like he's actually a second away from bursting into tears. Your big brother is a loser, and you slowly begin to accept it. He's kinda cute in how cringefail he is.

What's not cute is finding out what happens to your panties when they go missing. You think you keep misplacing them and don't worry too much about it. Then you find them back in the laundry bin, all crusty and some even sticky. Okay, that's weird. But you still give Kylar some benefit of the doubt and pretend that everything is fine. He's nice to you! He gives you ice-cream, he always lets you pick whenever you both wanna watch something, he gives you shoulder massages, and he does your chores for you. Kylar is a good brother!

That's what you keep telling yourself, even as he slowly starts getting more and more handsy, sometimes to the point where you aren't entirely sure if this still isn't considered groping. But it's fine, you can take some pervy behaviour! You're a good little sister, and Kylar keeps reminding you of that even as he's panting in your ear while hugging you and clinging to you like his life depends on it. You try not to think about what's pressing against your thigh.

It gets worse the longer it goes on, and somehow you find yourself regularly making out with your big brother because he just loves you so much :(( It's what all loving siblings do! You're doubtful, but he looks so elated every time you agree to sit on his lap or let him knead your tits that you don't have the heart to tell him no. It's so easy to make him happy, and you kind of feel good from it too, even though you don't really want to admit it. You also worry about your parents finding out and you both getting into trouble, but Kylar is strangely unbothered.

Actually, he grows downright brazen. He begins feeling you up while your parents are in the room, he doesn't even attempt to hide the leering gazes he sends your way. He actually slaps your ass one day while the whole family is together! Your parents just laugh it off, and continue like nothing happened. You aren't sure if you should feel relieved or mortified. You realise it's the latter when Kylar begins rutting into your ass, rubbing his clothed cock against you and whimpering in your ear while your parents are literally three steps away and yet they say nothing. At first you think they are somehow not noticing their son's actions, but then they start laughing and playfully discussing how nice it would be to have grandkids. And your brother fucking moans into your ear, not even trying to hide how turned on he is by the idea of breeding you.

Everything goes to shit from there. Apparently, your parents realised that the only way Kylar will ever get laid is if he is allowed to fuck you, so they just... Let him. In fact, they seem almost into the idea, with your mother complimenting your figure and making comments on how it's perfect for motherhood. Your father offhandedly mentions that it'd be nice to build a crib yourselves, and that he should buy the materials for some woodworking. Kylar is relentless now that he's got your parents' blessing and not-so-implicit approval. Groping and making out turns into you waking up with his head between your thighs, eagerly lapping at your cunt and looking at you like an overeager puppy, begging you to let him do more. He might jerk off and cum all over your face while you sleep, but he holds off on slipping his dick inside you without your permission. He really, really wants to! And he tells you about it in detail while he suckles on your tits and bites your nipples as if that'll somehow make you lactate. Kylar holds off on just taking you like he's been wanting to for so long, instead eating you out daily while he waits for your permission to finally fill your womb with his cum. He waits, because he's such a nice and caring lover. He's constantly all over you, and you can't even bring up the "we're family!" argument because your entire family is more than happy to let your big brother knock you up.

When you finally break and let Kylar fuck you, he all but cums into his pants right on the spot once he hears your words. Your big brother immediately pounces on you, pawing at your clothes in an attempt to expose as much of your body as he can without bothering to actually undress you. He moves with the urgency of someone who's afraid that you will change your mind, so he's stuffing you full of his cock in record time. Thankfully, all these evenings spent with him fingering your cunt over and over again have prepared you. The fact that you are already wet enough for him to easily slide in is something you refuse to think about. Of course, your big brother immediately begins to fuck you like a dog in heat, drooling all over you while he literally cries from how happy he is to finally fuck you raw. And god, he's so loud. There's no way your parents can't hear his desperate whimpers and how he babbles on and on about making you a mommy and giving you lots and lots of babies, and about how good your pussy feels. He's cumming within a few minutes of sloppy thrusting, but simply keeps going while furiously rubbing your clit. He's more than happy to overstimulate himself to the point of sobbing if it means he'll get to stuff you with his seed a few more times, and hopefully knock you up on the very first attempt.

You come down to the kitchen to grab a glass of water after your big brother finally passes out from the exhaustion of fucking you and giving you creampies over and over again. Your hair is a mess, your neck and tits are covered in hickeys and bite marks and you've got his drool all over you. The worst of the mess is between your trembling legs, where cum keeps dripping out of your tender pussy, overstimulated and tired from being used so much. You walk into the kitchen while looking like that, and your parents are absolutely beaming. Your mother is talking about how they've been coming up with baby names lately and that you should definitely check the list she's written for you and Kylar to pick from. And your father, looking like he's announcing that he has won a lottery, hits you with the revelation of them going on a vacation in a few days. Apparently, it will take a while for them to come home. But they aren't worried about anything bad happening while they're gone for so long! After all, you'll be left in the care of your loving big brother!

You are fucked. So, so fucked. In every way possible. But hey! Kylar promised to take you shopping for baby clothes as an apology for the mess he made out of your neck! So really, it's all good. It's nice to have such a caring big brother and supportive parents, isn't it <3

[theothernads]

˖ .❛❛ 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 - 𝐘𝐉𝐖 ❞ ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

˖⋆࿐໋. ❛❛ 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 ❞ ✧₊⁺ — (𝐘.𝐉𝐖)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ. SYNOPSIS : ₊˚⊹♡ : With the third magical academic year starting, you and Jungwon plan to have a normal school year and complete many goals. Except, you have to earn Enchantix with your frequent burn-outs, and Jungwon wants to become a full-fledged warrior and push past his anxiety. With their own goals in mind, they feel like 2 idiots that keep meeting by chance. However, when mysterious events threaten the magical kingdoms and schools, the specialists and fairies have to figure out the culprit and save the magical universe. But fate has other plans for their adventures and for your ‘coincidental’ meeting with Jungwon.

☰ TAGS/GENRE(S): Winx Club smau, enhypen smau, slow-ass burn fic, violence, action and adventure, angst, college smau, fantasy au, strangers to lovers

╰┈➤𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 (comment or give an ask<3)

ִֶָ࣪☾. 𝖸𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖩𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗐𝗈𝗇 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

➤ft. NewJeans, Enha, TXT, BTS, esp, Jungkook, Itzy, Le Sserafim

⚠️Warning: swearing, violence, manipulation, family problems, over-exertion, anxiety, kys joks, sexual jokes, suggestive/smut (idk, tbh??), health problems, crime

⤷do not proceed if u have a problem/sensitivity to any of those topics

ᯓᡣ𐭩 [NADDI NOTES]: I am sorry for discontinuing the last Jungwon story, but um, here u go, lmao??? REBLOGS, LIKES, COMMENTS are very much appreciated <3 also, idk why the banner looks so crusty. But I promise, if u tap on it, it will look clearer. L tumblr

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⋆ཐིཋྀᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs:.ೃ࿔*:･. .☘︎ ݁˖ :

PROFILES: the fairies🧚‍♀️. || PROFILE: the specialists

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊ 𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜: 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗥𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝘇𝘃𝗼𝘂𝘀 ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

CHAPTER 1: back here again

CHAPTER 2: WE DID NOT FUCK

CHAPTER 3: the "W word"😭

CHAPTER 4: stress-baking

CHAPTER 5: I'm not into apex predators😒

CHAPTER 6: OH, it's YOU⁉️

CHAPTER 7: I may die??

CHAPTER 8: Why i don't f with dragons

CHAPTER 9: ur kinda a snitch 😐

CHAPTER 10: NOT stressed abt a girl 🧍🏻‍♀️

CHAPTER 11: Drama Queen

CHAPTER 12: Attention hoe

CHAPTER 13: oh... 😀

CHAPTER 14: why she kinda...🫠

CHAPTER 15: ahh, damn my emotions😞💔

CHAPTER 16: OooOOoO tEnSiOn

CHAPTER 17: birthday plans!!

CHAPTER 18: i hate shopping 😮‍💨

CHAPTER 19: party party YEAH

CHAPTER 20: kinda down bad

CHAPTER 21: kinda smitten tho...🙂‍↔️

CHAPTER 22: i should just kms 💔

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁. 𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜: 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

CHAPTER 23: life is just 💔 rn

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━━━━━━━━━━━━━˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱‧₊˚━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Do not copy/reupload my work. All rights are reserved to me. I worked hard to create my plot, so do not steal any of it otherwise you will be reported immediately, and I will have a go at you.

Any locations, characters used in this book DO NOT have a relevance to real life. Any event resembling anything to real life is coincidence. I do not condone harmful behaviours. This is fiction. It is all for entertainment purposes.

☰ [ENHA NAVIGATION]

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊[TAGLIST]: @dreamiestay @m3l4nchol @n1k1mura @wensurr @jiiyen @jwonistic @lolallure @sol3chu @firstclassjaylee @luumiinaa @xwonz @vixialuvs @yunthejin @simjaeyunlvrclub @bubblytaetae @wondoras @sievenderz

© 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗱𝘀

[scorpioriesling]

hello! can I request a part two of your sorority imagine with Liam, Ridoc, and Dain?

The Morning After

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Modern!Liam x Dain x Ridoc x reader

Warning(s): none

Summary: After a wild night out, you're left to sort through the mess the morning to follow.

SR’s Note: Hey, I get it, I needed resolution too -- however, this made the most sense in my little head how this story should end. <3 I hope you love it!

Tags: @mellowmusings @rcarbo1 @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @velarisdusk @nctsawrus @lreadsstuff @freakishfandomfiend @littleemissperfecttt @loveofmychips @bodhidurrans

(inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Life of The Party

You could only open your eyes to slits the following morning as sunlight streamed through the window. Groaning, you wiped at the crusty corners of your eyes and adjusted to sit, widening your eyes more in an effort to take in your surroundings.

Brow furrowing in confusion, you realized you were in your own room. Your dresser sat in the corner, your desk along the far wall -- and those magnolia curtains that did nothing to block out any outside light.

You looked beside you, the movement causing your head to swim. Groaning again, you took in the rumpled duvet and sheets in disarray. It looked as though someone slept there, however, it was empty now.

You reached for your phone on your nightstand, clearing your throat and realizing how desperately you needed water. Turning it on only made the pain in your head spike with the bright light, so you clicked it off and tossed it aside. Lying back down on your pillow, you reflected on the events of last night.

The kiss with Dain.

Ridoc giving you his shirt.

Ridoc then fingering you.

Liam putting his dick in your-

You rubbed your eyes, wishing to get all those images out of your head. You remembered it all so clearly, everything that went down -- up until, of course, you'd gotten back home somehow.

You layed for five more minutes before you decided was a great first step to try and shake off the hangover. However, when your feet hit the hardwood and you stumbled to the bathroom, the worst case scenario rang true.

Liam was just down the hall in the kitchen, and despite your wishes, he noticed you. He looked up from the toast he was eating, immediately setting down the plate and striding for you.

"Oh good! You're up," he said, and your stomach dropped. This was not how you wanted to start the day.

"Liam, I-"

"Last night," he said, drawing closer to you as he spoke. "Yeah... I wanted to talk to you about all that," he chuckled, his cheeks pinkening. You sighed, bracing your open palm against the bathroom door in an attempt to regain your balance.

"Uh huh," you agreed. He looked at you apologetically, his lips twitching.

"Look... you're one of my best friends, and so is Ridoc," he explained, and you nodded despite the growing migrane. He loosed a breath, running a hand through his short blonde locks.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I don't think it's something we should make a 'thing'; honestly, I'm not over Jesinia, and I really really enjoy just being friends-"

You blew out a sigh of relief, one hand coming to brace his forearm.

"Pheww! Yes, thank God you said that," you laughed, and he chuckled softly. "Yeah, I think just being friends is for the best; can we just pretend nothing ever happened?" You looked to him pleadingly. He grinned, pulling you in for a tight hug. You breathed in his delicious sunny scent, reveling in the relief you felt.

"If you say nothing happened, it never happened." He assured before letting go. He made a face as you moved to open the bathroom door, recalling something.

"I think Ridoc will be happy about it, too."

Your face pinched. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Liam shrugged, feigning innocence.

"I dunno -- he should be home soon, ask him yourself."

You tried to put it out of your mind as you stepped into the shower, preferring to focus instead on the running water and hangover cure (or so you hoped). But, what Liam said stuck with you. Where was Ridoc, anyway? Had he stayed at Violet's last night? Had he stayed with someone else?

You shook the thought as you scrubbed shampoo into your hair, reminding yourself he could do whatever he pleased. He was single, after all.

But, a small part of you wilted at the thought of him with another woman.

A woman that wasn't you.

✧･ﾟ: *

It was the early afternoon when you'd gotten out of the shower, and you found the house rather quiet when you stepped out in only a towel. The hunt for a shirt was quick; one of Ridoc's old tees had ended up in your drawer, and you chose it over the others as you always did.

As you brushed your hair and padded around the flat, you instantly noticed the bouquet sitting in the middle of the table. Intrigued, you plucked the folded card from the center, and flipped it open to read.

Y/N, Last night was fun, and I'm so happy we met. But, you know how strict it is with my frat, and though I wish it could be different, I think it's best for us to be nothing more than friends. Can we make that work? Dain

Your stomach churned at the reminder. You really liked Dain, truly -- but with all the regulations his frat had on him, there was no way it would ever work. Besides, you'd come to realize but fail to admit that he may just be a placeholder. The one your heart truly yearned for obviously only saw you as a friend; Hell, he had a new girlfriend each week. What were you?

Sighing, you leaned in to smell the roses anyway. You smiled softly at the fresh scent, and for the first time all morning, you weren't thinking of your sinful evening prior -- you were thinking of what could come from it.

Ridoc, bringing you flowers.

Ridoc, taking you on dates at the park.

Ridoc, telling you how much he-

You forced yourself to stop. Ridoc was your friend, and he saw you the same way. Your heart drooped as you sank onto the plush cushions of the couch, grabbing the remote in favor of a movie to take your mind off things. However, you scrolled past your usuals, not finding anything particularly interesting.

✧･ﾟ: *

You were halfway through Mamma Mia when the front door opened. You hated how fast your head turned, and the way your heart stopped as he stepped through the entryway. He kicked his shoes off, sniffling once as he made his way to the living room.

His steps halted when he saw you, the brown bag clenched in his fist in surprise.

"Oh! Y/N, uh... h-hey," he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. You paused the movie, sitting up straighter and pulling the blanket more securely around you.

"Ridoc... hi," you said awkwardly. He chewed the inside of his cheek before raising the bag, his eyes wide with glee.

"I brought you breakfast... er, lunch, now, I guess," he chuckled, stepping toward the couch. He plopped down beside you, setting the deliciously greasy-smelling food down on the coffee table before you. You reached for it, peering in to see your favorite; fries and chicken strips, with two ranch dips on the side. You beamed at him.

"My favorite!" You said, and he laughed. You began pulling the items from the bag, setting his cheeseburger and fries with ketchup in front of him and your food in front of you. "Thank you Ridoc, seriously I'm starved."

The two of you ate in silence, enjoying eachother's company while you tried not to confront every thought flooding your mind. You snuck another peek at him, taking in his disheveled hair, unshaven stubble, and usual but muted sage-y scent.

He was surely with a girl.

You remained quiet, munching on your fries when he cleared his throat to break the silence.

"You can keep watching your show," he said softly, reclining back and getting a bit more comfortable. You rolled your eyes playfully.

"You? Want me to put Mamma Mia back on?"

He chuckled. "You know I love ABBA."

You grinned, switching the movie back on as you too leaned against the back of the couch. He swallowed, reaching an arm to lie atop the cushions and around your shoulders. In the quiet that followed, you'd scooted closer to him, snuggling beneath the shared blanket.

"We haven't... you know... uh," he mumbled softly. You raised your head from his shoulder, dreading where this was going.

"We haven't...?"

"Talked. About last night." He said, and you chewed the inside of your cheek in anticipation.

"Oh."

"Yeah... um... look, Y/N, I-"

"You know what, actually, spare me, please," you said, sitting up straight to look your best friend in the eye. "I know what you're gonna say -- it was a mistake, it wasn't good, we should never do it again-"

"No no no no," he says, taking your waving hands in his as his eyes meet yours. "That's not what I was getting to at all, Y/N."

Your open mouth closed, and you relaxed your shoulders a bit.

"Oh... sorry. Continue, then."

He smiled softly, his gaze still holding yours.

"Y/N... last night was... different, for me." He admitted, looking down in thought. "I've never done something like that before that I... I don't know. It really changed things," he says, and your heart began to sink.

"It doesn't have to," you offer quickly, squeezing your fingers in his. "Ridoc we can still be friends, and go on like we have been -- Liam and I are cool, Dain and I are cool, we can be too?"

Ridoc's face falls slightly.

"What if I do want things to change?"

Your brow slowly furrows as you make guesses as to what he means.

"But... why?"

Ridoc squares his shoulders, his hands holding your clammy ones tighter.

"Y/N, I think last night showed me what I've been doing wrong this whole time -- I loved how I felt, but I didn't exactly like sharing you and I most certainly hated watching everytime my best friend or that Junior prick got their hands on you," he declared, and your heart began to beat faster.

"I know I'm not as... boyfriend-material, like Liam, and I don't," he sighs, gesturing to the roses on the table. "I don't bring you flowers, like Dain. But, I just can't keep trying to find you in every other woman I'm with because the truth is; you're right here. You've been here, this whole time, and I'm an idiot for not noticing it before."

Your cheeks heated at his words, and you let go of one of his hands to cup his jaw instead. You turned his downcast gaze back to you, smiling softly as you peered into your favorite pair of brown eyes.

"Ridoc, I don't need boyfriend-material, and I don't need flowers either." You inched closer, and his gaze fell to your lips. "I think I just need you."

A soft smile crept onto his mouth, and he reached to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers tilted our chin to look up at him.

"I wouldn't have gotten you roses, anyway," he whispered, drawing your lips closer to his. "I know daffodils are your favorite."

You practically moaned into the kiss when he finally pressed his lips to yours, the sparks egniting even more than they had the night before. He deepened the kiss, his lips sliding with yours as he tugged you onto his lap, his hands roaming and pulling you close as though this was the last time he'd ever get them on you. He was smiling when he pulled away, looking up and memorizing every inch of your face before he spoke again.

"Well... this has been one Hell of a morning after, huh?"

✧･ﾟ: *

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

*updated as of May 4th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Akainu, Blackbeard

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Catarina Devon, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut", "something about greasy alabasta ace hits so different", "with his riz he's probably a walking STD risk but it would be worth it. Just look at him probably also probably got a couple bastard kids running around the grand line", it's ok he's still greasy in my heart worlds most feral baby boy he looks like he eats dirt I could fix him (force him to bathe regularly)

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him"

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal", "yall are p****" arlong is sexy put some respect on his name look at those lips the laugh the hair!"

Bartolomeo: "the man hasn't showered in probably a week he's obsessed with the strawhats he'll pee anywhere and he's an absolute dweeb he's like a stray mutt that followed me home look at his fit it's AWFUL AND FABULOUS he's gross and dumb and if something bad happens to this silly barrier- creating puppy i'll LOSE IT"

Belo Betty: "True story: Belo Betty made me, an Aroace woman have a sexuality crisis."

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife", "benn beckman? more like benn breastman ok sorry yeah anyways. said it before and ill say it again beckman exudes raw sex appeal like jesus christ. why would you not want to fuck this man ive had lesbian friends who said he would be an exception to them which is so real his tits are big he loves his captain he STUBBED HIS CIGARETTE IN A MAN'S EYE UNDER THE GUISE OF DEFENDING HIS CAPTAIN so fucking sexy mwah mwah beckman my wife you are so hot SO HOT. in conclusion benn breastman you will forever be a top sexyguy in my head oh also forgot to add. he canonically gets bitches which is so real. he could get me any day", "Oh dear I just realised I have a thing for older men with grey hair and have substance abuse issues I choose to believe lung cancer does not exist in opu", "

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Catarina Devon: "my problematic lesbian sugar mommy”,

Cracker: "if Cracker just let his hair down he'd be unstoppable i fear", "get wrecked cracker", "I am so curious about the people voting for cracker let me study you please", "cracker getting murdered as expected", "you can't do my biscuit husband like that", "i find cracker really hot"

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss", "I love crocodile but also i wanna punch him and i feel like hes got the sandiest pussy/dick that shit will give me a rash", "my evilest baby boy", "Crocodile invented evil trans swag just saying", "im sorry az but crocodile was my dilf awakening", "in Crocodilf we trust",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you", "Budget Pimp who robbed San Diego of their world famous Flamingo flock"

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Gol D. Roger: "the "Tom Selleck" of Pirates. He mustache'd the gold somewhere. You think these puns are bad wait until you hit my NSFW tags. Can't believe no one pointed those out yet, his name is a literal gold mine of innuendo. king of pirates? nah he's the king of rogering roger this roger that roger anyone he damn well pleases he has the D", "why does no one thirst after Gol like i do? youre all weak! cowards", "sorry but i am all about his dads mustache", " I can't be the only one that wants to ride that mustache"

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?

Kaido: "beefcake beast of a man",

Katakuri: "I'm a monsterfucker at heart", "Katakuri is literally so good man he's a family man #he's badass he's got a great sense of honour you know I had to go for the mochi man", "donut king", "KATAKURI MY MOCHI MONSTER TEETH KING CHAMPION HUSBAND THAT I WOULD CLIMB LIKE A MOUNTAIN #I'M ALWAYS ON MY CLIMBING AGENDA WITH MY ONE PIECE KINGS!", "i just know this man would treat me right we love kata", "Kata definitely ticks that hot box"

King: "King is literally the most beautiful OP character you can't change my mind", "Gotta chose the melanin yknow", "king is so ajdhjdjdjchjd bark bark bark bark", "I saw King and decided he is my blorbo", "king of my [REDACTED]", " I know he's like 20 ft tall and I'm probably the size of his d*** but it would be worth it. I would gladly choose death by snu snu for one night with him"

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend",

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sabo: "bc he said killing woth lead pipes and then he just kept doing it its the crazy for me"

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard", I would volunteer to be his next baby mama you know shanks got a few a dozen red haired children all over the grand line tell me I'm wrong"

Smoothie: "ah...smoothie....or as i call her... one piece tsunade Imaoo", "ultimately my desire to be crushed by Smoothie's thighs won out", "SMOOTHIE. THANK YOU mommy long legs... gauhggfghgh......i want her to juice me pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeeeee /silly",

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead", "genuinely may be the hottest man of onep just like. objectively", "rayleigh you will always be famous for being the most fuckable old man ever. there may be dilfs galore out there but ur the only gilf in my heart", "that scene where Rayleigh gets out of the ocean shirtless After swimming to the island of women I actually said Daddy out loud",

Smoker: "Smokedaddy", "Smokestack. 'Ole Smokey. Smokin' Hot Smoker", "smokers allergy to keeping his Tits covered compels me", "i do love smoked sausage i'm sorry i'll see myself out", "smoker he's just so beefy like fuckkk and he's like almost 40 i just wanna be smokers lil housewife", "smoker is a beautiful lesbian to me", "smoked sausage I just *know* he's got more to work with than a cocktail weenie", "SMOKEYBEAR PAPA SMOKE MY KING i would smoke him like a chimney if you're pickin up what I'm putting down wink wink nudge nudge he really would kill my lungs but it'd be a fun time", "SMOKER PAPUCHO RICO I NEED HIM", "smoker is solid (despite being made of smoke)", "smoker. smo-yan. ultimate "guy who is allergic to wearing shirts" and honestly? he's so right for that. he needs to show off his tits! in a one piece man boob ranking he's coming number 2 (after crocodile) i said this in dms earlier today but it needs to be released to the world "fat d*ck fat tits fat ass he has it all" smoker is PACKINNNNN in every way he's genuinely so attractive, even just considering him physically and look at his sexy facial scar also (beck also has one. very good) and his slicked back short hair.....not to mention the things that are very endearing about him personality wise - he does masculinity like NOBODY ELSE. genuinely NO ONE does it like him like. he's gruff but he has a very strong personal moral code and he really *does* care..... the man's a tsundere and he's never been cruel to those undeserving like in his introduction - kids bumps into him, spills ice cream on his pants YOU KNOW WHAT SMOKER SAYS? YK WHAT HE SAYS? "my pants ate your ice cream." KILL ME NOWWWWWW HES SO FUCKING HOT IM EATING MY OWN HANDS and then he GIVES THE KID MONEY TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM. jesus christ smoker big d*ick big tits big heart i fucking love him good god", "something something vague moaning sounds I would call him smokey just to provoke him", "

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch", "law is hot because hes pathetic has tattoos and is the narrative's favorite punching", "i am DERANGED over a depressed formerly-suicidal surgeon",

Yamato: "I need my trans man big naturals...... I know nothing about one piece but yamato lives rent free in my brain and my heart at all times the only anime figure i have is of him and i don't even watch the fucking show", "he's new + he's trans + he's over 8 feet tall + he's a wolf god what more could you want?!", "he is filled to the brim with TRANSMASC SWAG", "it's transmasc dog boy swag for me he's my best boy", "Yamato's boobs call to me I need to motorboat yamato titties. whoa who said that", "yamato could crush me and i would thank him yes indeed", "I just found out Yamato is Literally a whole entire meter taller than me & that's all the convincing I need", "my canon transmasc king", "cant compete with is the fact that on top of beautiful yamato is just. fucking huge like i can not will not get over it every time i remember he's 8'7 in canon I'm like aaaAaaAaAAaAAAAaa kiss me on the mouth big boy", "as an aroace person. if yamato stepped on me id thank him. thank you for your time", "hes literally the whole reason i started watching/reading one piece

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy", "zoro is hot because of his big naturals

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

Commentary added as of May 4th.

Characters that I never thought I would ever add to this post are on here and I am so confused. When I started this blog, I was warned that the JJK fandom was unhinged horny and thirsty AF. But in my opinion, the one piece fandom is much worse. Just look at this post for proof. One Piece you guys are definitely the thirstiest fandom by far I mean Catherine Devon has a section. You guys just hide it better than the JJK Fandom. Plus I do regret challenging a few of you to come up with tags as a joke because you definitely delivered

[bravo4iscool]

Hi! Can I request a bjorn ironside x female where she is a mermaid? He saves her from being capture and they fell in love.

helloooo🗣️

of course you can request that hehehe. i hope i did your request justice. i must say, i don’t know much about mermaids, especially in mythology and all that…

tag list - @bumblebeesfromvenus @yazt09

(masterlist | join my tag list!)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

bjorn wouldn’t say he believed in mythical creatures. sure, he’s heard tales about dwarfs and gnomes and what else there might be; giants and even mermaids but didn’t quite believe all those stories.

if there were supposed to be such creatures why has no one ever seen them? why are all the stories just hushed whispers, a faint song in the wind?

but today would be the day bjorn ironside, oldest son of the famous ragnar lothbrok, would be proven wrong. today would be the day bjorn ironside would start to question his whole world.

he just wanted to relax, stare out at the sea and forget everything for a while when a fisher boat caught his attention. they were quiet far out but bjorn could see that they struggled with their nets. he slowly stood up and walked further towards the water. should he row out and offer his help?

the idea passes when he hears a faint shout of success. the fishermen managed to pull their net onto the boat and were now rowing back towards the harbour of kattegat.

bjorn keeps his eyes trained on the boat, walking towards the docks when it finally arrives after some time. he watches the fishermen leave their boat, a blanket draped over their net.

bjorn frowns and leaves, deciding to wait until nightfall to check the boat. he was the price of kattegat, there was little he wasn’t allowed to do.

once the sun vanished and the city fell asleep bjorn grabbed a cloak and a torch, sneaking out of the house. his feet carry him over to the docks, searching for the fisher boat.

when he finally finds it the blanket is still draped over the net. without much thought he pulls the blanket away, freezing when he sees a woman laying in the boat.

he stumbles back, almost dropping the torch. why would these men catch a woman out on the sea and just leave her in their boat.

he manages to squeeze the torch between two loose dock planks and climbs into the boat. that’s when he sees that—maybe—the woman in that boat wasn’t exactly a woman.

his eyes raked over her body, the swell of her naked breasts, down to her stomach, past her hipbone. his eyes stop at her tail. she had…a tail.

his fingers were itching to touch it, to make sure it was real but he managed to restrain himself. the tail was slightly reflecting the light of the torch, making it slightly twinkle in the night. just the like starts in the sky.

her face was…arguably the most handsome face he’s ever seen. the way it looked to soft and—and like it was made for him. he was captivated by her beauty and grace, even though she wasn’t conscious…

that was when he noticed how dry the woman’s���mermaids—skin was. it looked almost…crusty.

now, bjorn didn’t know much about mermaids but there was one thing he did know; and that was that they would die if they were out of the water for too long.

so, without paying it a second thought he hoists the mermaid up in his arms and stumbles out of the boat rather ungracefully. he can’t help but notice the way she fit so perfectly in his arms…

he couldn’t take the torch without so he carefully walks along the docks until he reaches a secluded part of the harbour. with the mermaid in his arms he slowly walks into the water, submerging her once he was deep enough.

he hoped and prayed to the god that he wasn’t too late to save her.

-

your eyes flutter open and your frown when you don’t feel the familiarity of the water. that’s also when you notice hands on your body.

your body jerks and you try to wriggle out of that someone’s grip. “hey, hey,” you can hear the person talk, trying to calm you down but you couldn’t think straight.

you weren’t supposed to be seen, you were supposed to be a legend, a tale, a mystery.

“your secret is safe with me.” your eyes finally find the person holding you, its a man—a handsome man. he’s staring at you, his eyes fixated on your face.

“could you—“ your voice is raspy as you start to speak. “could you let me go please.” his eyes flicker down to his hands before he pulls them back and clears his throat.

you immediately swim away from him, submerging your body in the water until only your eyes and the top of your head were visible. you eyed him, curious of who he was and he hasn’t killed you already. you knew you should swim away and forget him but someone pulled you towards him, you couldn’t explain.

“i’m bjorn,” he says after a few quiet moments, his eyes never leaving yours. “i saved you.”

you blink at him, slightly tilting your head to the side. so struggling in that fisherman’s net wasn’t a dream. it really happened.

you fully emerge your head and give bjorn a faint smile. “thank you, bjorn.” your voice is sweet as you talk and you can’t help but notice to blush on his face.

he swallows the lump in his throat and coughs. “i, uh, think is better, if you…” he points towards the open sea with his head before he looks at you again. “—if you leave. i don’t want you to get captured…again.”

“i should,” you hum, swimming towards him in a slow pace. “but i want to see you again.” you’ve reached him now, looking up at him.

bjorn looks down at you, understanding the urge to see each other again but he knew it wasn’t safe for you. “it wouldn’t be safe,” he mumbles as his hand slowly reaches out to cup your cheek. 

“what if i don’t care?” you question in a hushed whisper.

“you should.”

“i know.”

a small smile tugs at bjorn’s lips before he pulls his hand back. “you should go. it’s almost sunrise…” he doesn’t want you to leave but he knows you should. it’s better that way; safer.

you slowly swim backwards, ready to leave but then you turn around again and swim towards bjorn, pulling him down into the water and pressing a kiss to his lips.

bjorn takes his face into your hands, deepening the kiss before he breaks always to catch a breath.

you smile while you peel his hands away from your face. “i’ll see you again, bjorn.”

that’s the last thing you say before you submerge into the water, swimming away as if nothing ever happened…

[mikeellee]

I'm not even the biggest fan of Dabi in terms of looks, but always found very weird how the anime constantly makes him look way more defined and with bigger muscles than he has in the manga.

Isn't a bit contradictory for his character to look super ripped? Horikoshi clearly drawn Dabi in that specific way because the story makes emphasis on his body being more frail due having a weak constitution, also contrasting him to the rest of mens in the family who got the big and strong constitution of Enji, Natsuo especially. The anime just lose all the meaning behind that.

And this is more of a personal preference but I find Dabi's body in the manga to look much more attractive and less generic than in the anime. Skinny guys can look attractive as well.

Hi @nyc3

Thanks for the ask bc it's so fitting as I was thinking about how the fandom sees dabi and mr. Possum.

Let me start with this. Have you seen how in the Tumblr the tags of dabi x reader and shig x reader there a HUGE contrast in quality? Shig is depicted as a creepy and weirdo incel while Dabi IS "I'LL STEAL YOUR WIFE😏"

now on a controversial take. I do like the idea of dabi losing his scars. Why? Would increase his quality of life...I find odd how everyone in LoV accepts Dr. Evil's word and never try to take a second opinion. Also, without the scars Dabi would look way more like Endy making his claim be more powerful.

(not a fan of erasing Shig's scars nor the "crusty" jokes. Shig is handsome with his scars)

Now onto your ask: I think Bones just like to make characters hot in a conventional way, JJK men got to be hotter than the manga. But I do notice how bones lacks in translate the manga to anime. Some of the scenes of the manga were done so dirty.

Dabi became hotter aka buffer bc of this. Btw, many dabi x reader like to make the reader have a healing quirk (it should be a trope by now) just so it can heal dabi...which no one account that dabi IS self destructive, a healing quirk is nice but he would do again...unless he changes his mindset (I'm trying to explore this in my fic called besties)

Ask yourself: did shig NEEDED to be buffaraki? Was afo the quirk really need you to be buff?

(was necessary for Izu to gain muscles? Maybe, maybe not)

So to answer: Dabi is attractive in any shape. His writing trumps over shig any day even if shig IS more attractive than Dabi.

[antiquesintheattic]

i should start a crusty hands tag so i can keep track of how nasty and crusty they can get this year

[candycryptids]

THEN vs NOW with Chuu- my first character and also my Main. She went through big changes! I started playing like 4-5 years ago (who can remember exact dates, really?)

Cut cos it’s gonna get uh, image heavy.

Would you believe she didn’t get fat until like 2023? It feels like she’s always been fat in my heart but no… she was skinny for a long time… that’s wild. She was a summoner main ride or die for like EVER too lmfao also, I don’t actually have many good pictures of “early Chuu” because I played on a laptop that gasped for life every day I played until I upgraded to a PC I built in like, I wanna say ‘21? So every screenshot has incredibly crusty resolution and you can’t zoom at all xD

Here’s my attempts at mystery- back when EW was announced I decided Chuu was going to make a “clone of herself, but less attractive, and a man” which lead to some fun internal studies on what she found attractive about herself to begin with in the later stages of Tuesdays actual FR development.. there wasn’t a way to make the mannequin float in a tank I tried really hard 😩😂

You can see I started getting more into modding tho c: back in the days where Mods were loaded via Textools and affected everybody and we just ???? Coped.

And then in like, January ‘22 I discovered….. scaling with Anam. Which was tricky; when I did a pose, I had to remember to load her scaling, and then also adjust any skirts she had on, because otherwise she’d be too fat and simply clip through them…. Chuu went through an explicitly Only Pants and Shirts Phase xD

“When did Chuu get so dark like nowadays?” Apparently, Post Being A Lalafell. And then an Au’ra. this is also when I started really gaining steam in non-vanilla gposes, but it didn't actually fully take off to the races until sometime in mid-late '23/early '24 I think.

(thanks @meatybits for sometimes doing shitposts on my poses I always love them x3)

I can’t even pinpoint when Customize+ became a thing I was using which kinda sucks because it really changed the game for me LOL. Chuu got to be fat ALL the time! Forever! Fat Bunny!!! This was a slippenslide to customizing everyone a little bit forever, but I dont think I’ll ever regret it u_u

I like fat people and I like being chubby irl and I like making characters that deviate from the expected norms because I’m Ace, Agender, and Aro, and Poly+married, and I like it that way!

Bonus! The very first screenshot I could find featuring Chuu, ever! Taken by Talia (the Roe)

I was tagged by @displaykitkats and more people insisted I should do this than I can think of and further still have ALREADY done it- so just thank you for reading this jumbled mess if you did and you should give it a shot if you want to :)

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers: 1x04 - An Affair of Honor (Part 1)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Alright, episode four, some meatier things to sink our teeth into, and another Polin scene to dissect, finally!

Rutledge

We're getting into the baby drama really earlier in this one. Marina has spent the previous five minutes being poked at like prized cattle as Portia is trying to sell her off to the quickest bidder. Of course, it's a humiliating thing, especially when Lord(?) Rutledge is a crusty, old man.

When Penelope is leaving, she notices Marina is upset and asks if she should stay to help. it's one part gossip, sure, but I do think at this point, she considers Marina a friend and does care about how Marina is feeling.

I need to take a quick non-Polin moment and just say that we have the introduction of one of my favorite characters on the show --- Albion Finch, who is there to call on Phillipa. I love Finch and his sweet, awkward, adoring love for Phillipa. The fact that he's there for comic relief is a nice touch to a rather heavy season 1. But also, the fact that all of the Featherington sisters are going to find men who truly, truly adore them --- especially when their parents' marriage is cold and lifeless --- is really one of my favorite aspects of the show.

Quill

I love this conversation between Eloise and Penelope -- it's just a well written scene with the conversation turning from one thing to another in an organic fashion. Just as from a structure point of view, I think it's great.

We start off with the two of them looking at quills, and Eloise complaining about feathers in the hair, and how Daphne is closer to getting married which has ignited Eloise's fears that the attention would turn to her and her turn in the marriage mart, and Eloise just does not want that!

Pen finds it all amusing -- she is following all the Daphne stuff closer than she lets on (she has to for Lady Whistledown to be as good as she is!), but on a more personal level, she's always been amused that Eloise is so against it while she, herself, doesn't want to admit that she is a fan of all of it. Eloise continues on about wanting to be free and independent (and girl -- I do not blame you, I couldn't be a woman in this time period). Her line about how their options are to "squawk and settle" or "never leave the nest" while she wants to fly is really on point and essential to her character.

(Also, note the bird metaphors as they're talking about quills and feathers? it's a nice touch.)

But the conversation takes a turn when Eloise starts praising Lady Whistledown for her ability to make a name for herself without a man's help. The grin on Pen's face when Eloise notes "a brilliant woman of business, who fools the ton while pocketing their money". The irony of which is that Lady Whistledown is standing right next to her.

Penelope is grateful to see everyone buying her written words, and she is making money off it. But to have the respect and admiration of her best friend? That's just icing on the cake. Because Eloise is incredibly impressed. But Pen plays it down -- as gentle amusement. It's a wonderfully played moment.

The next line Eloise has about LW is really fascinating, though: "Imagine the life she must lead. Independence. You can be sure she is not simpering on the edge of a ballroom every night, praying a man might take a fancy and leg-shackle her into marriage."

Pen laughs, and says that it's quite the life Eloise has fabricated. She takes it with ease, though Eloise has described exactly what LW is really like. The fact that Pen is not independent and stuck in a verbally abusive and neglectful home. The fact that she does hide on the edge of the ballroom. And, while Pen does like romance, and would be open to suitors, let's be real, there's only one man she'd like to be leg-shackled into marriage with. ;)

Then Eloise gets it in her head that they should find her and Pen is so delighted by this -- the fact that having this secret is really a fun thing for her right now. The fact that Eloise, whom she admires so deeply is fawning over her is a quite nice thing for her ego.

And, I mean, it's a human thing -- that while Pen cherishes her friendship with Eloise, and they usually are on the same level, there are times when Pen probably does feel less than Eloise (something we'll get into later in the episode). So the fact that Eloise is so gushing over something she's done, something that can be admired in her, makes her feel prideful.

Eloise proclaims that they're the two most clever girls in all of the ton and if anyone could figure out LW it's the two of them. Of course, Pen does not want this to happen, and brushes it off, claiming family obligations. Which gets them into a conversation about Marina.

Pen has kept Marina's secret, by the way. We already know Pen is pretty good at keeping secrets, and although she does trust Eloise, she wouldn't dare bring scandal to her family, and specifically Marina. She does like Marina - and I kind of want to emphasize that Pen doesn't use LW gossip to purposely harm people (not really). Marina, as of this point, is someone she wants to continue to protect. She respects Marina enough to want to protect her.

The scene ends with Eloise claiming she is going to start her search for LW, which is going to be a huge plot line for the rest of the season and into the next. Pen is pretty chill about it, though she thinks her identity is pretty secure, and maybe since she is so close to Eloise, she feels like she has the situation under control.

The Boxing Match

Huh. Lord Featherington standing next to his future son-in-law. You know if Lord Featherington had any sense, he would have figured out how to snatch a Bridgerton up for his own daughters (instead of Marina) and it would have saved his ass. However, that might have ended up with Benedict married to Prudence or something, and that would have felt weird.

You guys notice this scene is one giant metaphor for the 'fight' going on in Daphne's heart between the Prince, who actually makes a lot of sense for her because he is cute and actually wants all the things Daphne wants and her burning desire for the Duke? Idk what's so wrong with the Prince anyway - he seems like a perfectly lovely guy...

Oh, am I supposed to be talking about Colin? Oops. Yes, he's in this scene. Continuing being the show's highest paid extra.

There are two Colin things I can pull out of his nothing to do in the background...

He has a front row seat to the asshat-ery that is Lord Featherington. And I have no doubt, had he lived, Portia would not have been the only one getting it from Colin over the treatment of the family and of Penelope.

Colin seems to be rather enjoying the match. While it may be much more subtle and lighthearted than Anthony, Colin does have a bit of competitiveness about him.

Cheese

I need to mention the LW voice over -- which sets the scene, discussing Lady Trowbridge, her recently dead husband, and the fact that the new widow is throwing a giant party in his 'celebration'. Pen, you are so saucy in these observations!

But more interestingly, LW goes on about how much of a scandal it would be if any unmarried woman dared do anything with a man it'd be her ruin. So, it's a testament at how little people notice (or take seriously) Pen (or even Colin), because their asses would have been married so fast if anyone had taken a moment to witness the shenanigans that go on between them.

Anyway... more to the point, Portia is once again shuffling Marina off onto Lord Rutledge, and Penelope feels terrible for her.

Meanwhile, Finch continues courting Phillipa while they bond over cheese, and I dare say, Pen is quite enjoying it. Not only are they the epitome of dorkiness, but I think Penelope has a tiny iota of affection for at least one of her sisters, but also maybe Finch as well. I think she can appreciate a love match, even between two dolts, when she sees it. I also love at how off put Prudence is during all of this -- it's hilarious.

I just need to take a second and shout out to this dude who is just having the most boring time with the harp. Idk why but it makes me laugh every time they cut to him.

It also gives me a moment to mention two things slightly relevant to Pen and Colin... A) the fact that Lord Featherington continues to be an asshat and basically tells Finch he can't marry Phillipa and B) Eloise is continuing her search for LW by thinking its the servants, and we don't get a lot of class stuff in Bridgerton, but I do love the maid and how she's like you stupid, privileged child -- like we'd spend our little free time writing about you lot.

What a Barb

Finally! Another Polin scene! Let's do this!

At the beginning of this, Marina is being manhandled by Lord Rutledge, and basically mouthing to Penelope to get her the fuck outta there. Pen looks sincerely distraught over Marina's plight, and probably would step in if she could.

But more importantly, no one really notices or cares that she's there... except the one person who is always seeking her out at these social situations. I will point out every time it's Colin who starts a conversation, because most of the time, it is him. And yeah, social norms of the time dictate... whatever, these two don't care a flying fig about the Regency Era's social norms.

You know how in Season 3, Benedict goes on a long diatribe to the Mondrich's that once you're married, the rules don't apply and so who gives a flying fuck? These two are already there. One is just too dumb to realize it yet.

[Also - I have to note that he's wearing yellow in this scene. Granted, everyone is wearing the theme of creams and golds, but I think it's important here, as this is the real start of his integration into the Featherington family.]

Colin comes in with a joke about the new Lord Trowbridge -- a new born baby, and if he falls asleep they all need to leave. And Penelope is deeply amused. She appreciates his sense of humor, and he definitely gets a kick out of making her laugh.

And look, I'm just gonna say it, Colin's got real Lord Whistledown energy in this scene. He may not be indulgent in gossip the way Pen is, but he'll definitely make fun of things the way she does.

And then Pen ups his joke with a scandalous piece of gossip -- that it's clearly obvious Lady Trowbridge fucked around with her servant and produced an heir with that guy instead of her husband. Note the red hair? It's clearly obvious. And then we get's Colin's infamous line "Penelope, what a barb!".

He is amused by her and entertained by her and scandalized by her but it all impresses him. Her observation skills, her wit, her cleverness, he really is taken by her natural abilities -- and we see that the two of them genuinely enjoying each other's company, which is why he seeks her out every time there's one of these balls. They make the evenings more enjoyable for each other.

But also, Colin... my dear, sweet, dumbass favorite character of mine... (No, look, I love Colin to death so I feel okay pointing out when he's being a dumbass) THIS IS LADY WHISTLEDOWN! SHE'S STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU IMPRESSING YOU WITH THE WONDERFUL BEING THAT SHE IS AND YOU ARE ENJOYING IT -- EATING IT RIGHT UP! SHE IS RIGHT. HERE. GO DANCE WITH HER -- DON'T BE DISTRACTED BY MARINA!!

Penelope and her 'omg, ilu so much and the fact that you get me and laugh with me and think i'm awesome, will you let me have all your babies right now? cause i'll seriously let you get me pregnant. right here. right now. in this ball room. i don't even care if everyone else is here' look.

The thing about this moment though? Is that it's a shared moment. Yeah, Pen takes a second to kind of stare up at him with her ever adoring look and her unrequited love glazed eyes and it's just a /moment/ for her. But Colin lingers just as long. In fact, it's a beat too long and they both know it, and suddenly, they're both looking away as if they're guilty of something.

The intensity of the moment spins them in different directions, however. Colin finally notices Marina dancing with Rutledge. And it's Pen who kind of uses the magic words to spark Colin's actions. She tells him that Marina needs rescuing -- and oh boy, is that going to kick in Colin's hero complex.

Colin, boy, you do have some prince charming energy going on in this moment.

Yes, I do believe Colin has genuine interest in Marina. But getting to jump in and save her from a terrible fate, really gets him going. And poor Pen -- she kind of knows what's happened after she's already said it, and she's left there alone while he whisks Marina away.

Colin, what's going on with your hair, babe? It's, like, going everywhere.

The thing about this is -- he jumps in with a joke, just like he had when he approached Penelope. Only, Marina doesn't quite get it. Not only do they not know each other -- and Marina isn't used to Colin's sense of humor, but she's so concerned with her own issues, she doesn't quite know what to make of Colin's levity.

But she is amused by him, too, and this is where she starts to see some potential. He's a nice guy, pleasant to look at, willing to get her out of sticky situations, and (unfortunately) easily played. Colin is a romantic and really does enjoy play the role of rescuer, and Marina's smart enough to pick up on that really quickly. It isn't going to take her long to figure out that he is exactly what she needs to help her situation.

Marina asks him to spin her away -- and he does so literally, taking her off and (he thinks) sweeping her off her feet. Daphne is going to mention to the Prince that Colin knows how to make things 'memorable'.

And there are a couple of neat aspects to this little moment. For one, they're giggling and laughing together -- which, is kind of fascinating for two very different reasons. For one, this kind of signifies genuine connection and while everyone else is taking all this courtship stuff so seriously, Colin again brings levity to it, which is sweet and endearing. But on the other hand, it speaks to his youth that he's so playful with his jokes and his dancing. He doesn't adhere to the steps he's supposed to, but instead whisks Marina around the dance floor not paying attention to what he's supposed to be doing (according to society). And it somewhat speaks to the fact that what's going on with Marina isn't as serious as he feels like it probably should be.

And... that's where I'm going to stop for now. Lots more to unpack in this episode -- including some really great Penelope scenes...

[jakewebberr9]

What the fuck is this?

I thought we were over this now why are y’all still dick riding this man? Like guys.. we know that you love dick just hop off for a couple of seconds. Stop trying to start random shit. It’s getting old. Calling her a slut is fucking crazy when y’all are the ones meat riding.

Also who the fuck brought Kenz into this? I hang out with her and it’s not like she’s cheating? Just because Chris hangs out with some girls doesn’t mean that he’s cheating like guys get a grip and go get a life. Y’all typing on your crusty keyboards rn sending hate is so fucking funny to me. Like girl get off of your ass and go get a job. Like instead of sending hate you should send in a job application.

Y’all are fucking crazy for doing shit like this. Chris is a sweet person and also the person behind the account is so sweet too. Stop it. It’s really getting to her.

(Sturniolo tags because people need to see this)

@christopherrsturniol0 @kenzieeluby @chasekeithh @tarayummysblog @colbyrobertbrockk @samgolbachh @johnnieguilbertt @milas-main @m4ttthemunch @neiimaaa @nikinihachuuu @madifilipowiczz @demikalogeras @sundaykalogeras @curlywurlyfries77 @leahsmain88

[brainr0t-landfill]

Dolette

Captain John Price x Fem Reader

‼️t.w: sleazy price, intoxicated reader, gun, kidnapping, simp reader

a.n:this reader was originally written as trans fem but it's rather vauge which is why it was tagged fem reader, she is mentioned to be tall

"There's something messed up about a slow night, slow night." -Ayesha Erotica, Just Wanna Go Out

The bar is crowded, which is exactly what you were hoping for.

You came on a friday night after all, rushed out of work to shave, bursh your hair and put on your best skirt, layered, easy in the breeze because bars are always so stuffy aren't they?

You slip through a giggling couple to make it inside, it's all plastic banana leaves and flashing lights, some screechy remix playing, pounding it's way into your skull. Not the kind of place, you reckon, the kind of men you fancy would be, but you've gotta start somewhere and this is as good a place as any. 

Practice round, you tell yourself, Practice round. 

All you have to do is stand in that corner, don't panic don't make yourself look like a freak when you try to start up a conversation or two, order one virgin coke and rum and then you can run back home to your knitting and audio books. 

You grab at your hair and lift it to your nose, it doesn't smell bad, necessarily, but nothing does when there's so much alchol in the air, have you brushed our your curls? You didn't check in the mirror if you had razor burn! Your lips feel crusty, you bet your makeup is melting off in the heat. 

Can't be helped, you have to tell yourself, can't be helped. 

You notice him as you're digging through your purse for your Vaseline, he's six foot something and thick, dusty jeans straining at the thighs and working boots, you have to make a point of not staring at his arms, his chest, his shoulders. 

He's somone's divorced dad on that barstool, somone you could set your clock by 

You bet he's got tattoos, you bet he's got tanlines and scars with funny stories, you bet you're not his type of girl. 

You should talk to him anyways, you say to yourself. Exposure theraphy or whatever. You think as you watch him chat with somone, his voice doesn't carry over, he'd probably appreciate some friendly chatting if you can just be fucking normal for a few minutes. 

You walk over to the bar rubbing against sweaty strangers and getting bumped about, someone spills their long island tea or dirty martini and it stains the bows of your pretty ivory flats, you hope it'll wash out.

It squelches against the linoleum flooring. 

It smells like hell, everything is itchy, it's becoming painfully apperant that the ballet flats were the wrong choice you're at least glad you wore a thin, long skirt otherwise you would've in boiled here. 

The bar too is sticky, made of some synthetic wood cover, the cracked pattern repeating over and over ahain every few hands, the bar stool is even sticker when you sit down nect to the stranger gathering your skitt and pressing your knees together, thank god you didn't wear your mini skirt.

You wave at the bartender who's busy wiping off a shot glass. 

"Excuse me can i have a-"

"Got a light, pretty? "

Instantly you feel the cold sweat beading on your nape, your eyes stuck on your hands, even his voice is so good, gruff, deep there's no doubt he smokes. His beard js trimmed, thick at the chops and rough. 

He taps his fingers against the bartop and no ring is all you can think. 

"You good? "

You take a deep breath before digging into your stuffed purse pulling out a old scratched up lighter with little pink flamingos on it. 

"Ye-yeah, I do. Here, sorry! "

You try to keep your voice soft, high. 

He holds his cigar out and you have to stare at the fragrant cigar as your sweaty fingers stumble with the flint. 

"Eyes up here dolly, let me see whos helping me out hmm?"

You obey im a second and chide yourself, god he's a looker, all beady blue eyes and coarse, you bet you would smell like cologne if he got a little closer, you bet it's a couple grand a bottle. 

"Pretty lighter for a pretty doll. "

"T-thank you, I uhmm, Mr...?"

"Jonathan, Jonathan Price. Call me John though."

You stammer out your name as he gives you a once over, you feel like sausage in your tube top, cold sweat running down your back,hands clammy and sticky suddenly you're painfully aware of your chipped nailpolish, of your trembling fingers. 

"What brings you out tonight? "

"oh well it's a friday, isn't it? "

He smiles, teeth yellow with tabacco, whitish tounge. 

His eyes crinkle, he's got chubby cheeks. 

"Without a drink, dolly?"

He asks, lips curled around the cigar 

"Oh no, no, no I'm a real lightweight!"

He laughs, so you laugh it's boisterous, loud, like he wants everyone at the bar to know you're funny, he's entrtained. 

"Oh c'mon, such a pretty lady and y'not gonne let me buy you no drink? Even after y'helped me? "

You're nodding halfway through, bashfull, sheepish as a lamb you think if he talks long enough he might talk you into anything. 

"What d'ya lile pretty? "

He leans back in the stool, the wood creaks under his mass, the rough jean of his knee brushes against your skirt and you wish you'd worn the mini skirt just to feel his skin against yours. 

"Hmm... sweets? "

He chukles around his cigar, taps it onto a glass ashtray. 

"Course y'do, course y'do!"

You smile despite yourself, he's so charming. The kind of guy that's so big, boisterous,so effortlessly large and commanding the kind of guy that fills bar stools and doorways and other things. 

He motions to the barman gets his attention without a hitch. 

"Can i have a-"

"White rabbit for the doll, don't be shy on the vanilla mate, on me."

It throws you off a bit, but you clear your throat, better get it out before he covers the tab. 

"Listen I'm-"

"I know ,dolly"

"But- no you don't get it I can't exactly-"

He shakes his head, dissmess the fear that hangs over you and bites at your heels every moment like a garden snake. 

"So what'd ya do? "

You stare at him, trying to look polite and tilt your head. 

"For work, sweets."

"Oh- oh yeah huh! "

You slap your knee and giggle some, trying to feign comedy

"Teacher's assistant, local college"

He wolf whistles and hooks his arm around your shoulder, pulls you in close.

You feel paralyzed, floating

"Pretty and smart huh? Real tempting deal y'are. "

He chukles, chewing on the end of his cigar. 

"So y'work weekends? "

"Oh-oh no I'm free tomorrow but i wake up real early, grocery runs, stuff to print, house to clean, never run outta stuff to d-"

"I see a proper little lady, no one around to help hmm? "

"Ugh no, no. My own place, I can stay up ad long as i want!"

And bring home whoever I like, please please-

He chukles

"Atta girl, nothing lile home huh? Nice homecooked meal and a soft bed to lay ya head, I travel a lot for work m'self, so I appreciate those a lot y'know, y'make a mean steak doll? "

You chukle and pull at your necklace, some old thing from the thrift, suddenly too tight around your neck. 

"I can learn, I love me a good steak it's just hard to chew and I don't like...the smell."

He chukles wipes over his mustache, thanks the barmen, looks him straight in the eye as he hands you your drink. 

It baffles you, his skill, his talent at keeping the conversation going, smooth not a wrinkle you know you're not the reddest rose or the prettiest doll but here he is making you feel like one. 

He slides you the drink, murky, fluffy-white lilac topped with lavender and sweet peas, it looks like q drag queen next to his whiskey the stem of the Camilla glass cold amd delicate in your clammy hands. 

"its beautiful-"

"Tastes just as good as it looks, didn't buy it for ya to stare at it"

"you don't have to, my treat! Really! I insist-"

He dips his finger into the drink and holds it to your lips a tiny sweetpea balanced delicately on the pad pad his finger. 

"I- I was talki-"

He presses his finger to your lips and you open up obediently he drags the foam across your flat tounge, it's zesty, half bitter with some firm perfume to it, the flower sticks to your teeth. 

"Y'like it? "

He asks,two fingers resting in your mouth its not a question but you nod anyways. 

Heat flushes to your cheeks, anyone could see you like this, some man's finges in your mouth in the middle of a bar, you can swear there are trails of sweat running down your temples. 

You should pull back, there are good, solid, adult reasons to pull back,grab your purse and leave reasons like dignity, self control-

He pulls his finger out and pulls you close, kisses your cheek. 

"Glad ya lile it dolly, makes an ol'dog real happy when a pretty lady like y'appreciates the effort y'kno? "

You nod half mindedly the scrape of his beard and his arm around your waist making you dizzy as you reach for the delicate glass and take another sip.

"Nice perfume. "

He says

"O-oh yeah, Jasmine Rouge, Tom Ford-"

You cringe at your own words, he's gonna think you're rich, or elitist, or vain and he's not gonna call you again. 

"Big lady perfume for a little girl huh? How adorable"

"I am a big girl!"

And you are, probably as tall as him in your heels.

"I'm about-"

"I could tuck ya in a suitcase luv, shuddup.

He rolls his eyes and you smile the glass is so small in his hands, so shiney, carved glass like a star in his palm. 

He stares at you, expectant, patient you sip your drink again, can't let the conversation go dry. 

" Soo-"

You clear your throat trying to get your words in order. You're dizzy, slippery, consciousness swirling and swirling in a gkurry of flashing lights and his dizzying attention, your nape is wet with sweat. 

"What do you do for work? "

He smiles in a way that tells you je won't tell. 

"Wouldn't you wanna know?"

"A-any tatoos? "

He nods fox-grin spreading across his face

"Ya like em, I'll show y'real soon."

He smiles and he's all rudy from the heat, a vison of a man under the light, you smile back and laugh for no reason, almost tipping backwards. 

He catches you, pulls you into his chest. 

"It's a slow song."

He croons into your damp hair as he lifts the glass back to your lips, you gulp down a mouthfull the lavender buds get stuck to your lipstick. 

"Y-yeah, real slow"

"Wanna dance? "

By the time you two leave the club it's far past your usual curfew, your flats are sticky and slick with sweat but you don't care, tonight was magical as cliche as it is everything feels like a currated experience with him, everything is bright and easy on the eyes, every move is fluid and efortless, every toich is borh electric and familiar for once in your life you can dance, you can flirt, you can let him make you feel like all the other girls. 

"My feet hurt-"

You whine at him smiling ear to ear, when you teeter to one side he stills you two big hands on your shoulders if he's not carefull you'll get used to this, spoiled. 

Your head swims, eyes watery and throat full of cotton as you try to breath in the moist, crisp air, your tounge is dry enough to hurt. 

"Awww, that so bad pretty, where's your ride?"

You sway from side to side something in your cotton coated brain screaming warnings you cant translate. 

He taps your cheek when you don't answer. 

"Answer me."

He demands and it goes straight between your thighs, the hand at the small of your back the stern eyes staring down at you. 

"Took the buss."

You giggle and he starts dragging you along without saying a thing, to the side of the bar, his boots stomping against the wet ground he takes a couple keys out, sorts through them with a whistle as he walks up to a tan Chevy, you follow like he's magnetic. 

"No, no John, please just call me an uber, I'll throw up in your car-"

He scoffs without looking at you shoves his keys into the trucks door, tinted windows, it gives you a pause, something sharp and cold piercing through the cotton around your brain. 

"You'll lick it clean then."

The tone of voice throws you off makes you stumble back tilts reality back onto it's axis. He turns to you and somehow it all collapses on you you knees shake as you try to keep the couple drinks down. 

"I- I don't wanna get in your car-"

"Yes ya do. "

"N-no, can you please just call me an uber I just-"

He walks over, hands in his pockets his breaths becoming white puffs in the air bettween you. 

"I said y'comin-"

You go to open your mouth but the cold muzzle of a gun pressing against your chest shuts you up, he trails it down, his big,skilled hands making the shiney black handle look crystallized. He tugs down your top with the muzzle, takes a peek with a low, sleazy chukle. 

"And ya coming dolly. "

[skendoss]

28th February 2025

Dear rio

i'm that one of your new annon who came out from the wall and This is my review after finishing two season of link click:

Hey Qeeen! so i finished link click 3 or 4 weeks ago and *Sobs* hoe it was a so good ikd why it's not popular like So now I’m sitting here, emotionally devastated, traumatized, and officially beefing with you for supporting my dumbass decision. this show was straight-up a masterpiece. The characters? Peak. The art? Gorgeous. The opening? A whole religious experience, i love the opening/endings!freaking inplick official arts? give it to me rachel! cheng xiaoshi My BABY😭 i love him, I love the trio so much my qia ling i love it so much , every character are so well written and i like them all, first i thought i was gonna be a lu guang girly but he kinda was a bit crusty and dry in s1 to me don't get me wrong i love him so much but then in b arc know bro just was having back pain to carrying the whole show, anyways, WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO FROM NOW ON, girl yk desperation for fancition made me to jump into random fandom and sadly this time the i became the victime, and why tf there isn't anything one tumblr girl the sahra is more hyderated that the tags, i literally probably followed every account that writes for this ass dounghua, i can litrerally recite all of your works cuz i screenshooted all of them😭 this gonna be my next hyperfixasion that probably not gonna leave my brain for the next 10 years, i downloaded it on billibilli and watched it when my wifi wnt off cuz your homegirl is broke, and then i got kinda lazy cuz the arc didn't show up so i got into tiktok and got my ass spoiled cuz the only reason i started to pay attention to this diaboli-typical show was none other than my glorious canibali-charismatic king VEIN, cuz one day i was minding my business one tiktok and came across the meeting scene and that " you look tasty😋" I fear that the moment he showed up on screen, he awakened the freaky demons I thought I had successfully leashed. They were just napping. And now? Now they’re feral. and "sweetie" like HELLO?? he has my favourate colours and guess what my favourate colour is it's black/white/red, love the new trio love puppy xia few he's such cutie, and liu xiao ngl in that scen where he was offering his hand and wasn't wearing any glasses he kinda looked like a character from magi anime, and he was giving " join our cult" ahh pose, anyway they're SO HOT hope no one die- they probaly will🤧 this all i have right now, come again after the bridung(dk the name)arc, pls papa me want more movie give us some crumbs

Your freaky Follower:

Sasha.

SASHA!!!!! ANON REVEAL!!!!❤️

firstly i am SO sorry about the delay in my reply to this!! this is actually what made me want to come back 🥲 i typed out a big looooong response, and then lost it. urghhhhhh

secondly; PLS DONT BEEF WITH MEEEE WE ARE IN THE SAME BOAT TOGETHER!!!!

‘the sahara is more hydrated than the tags’ made me laugh out loud😭😭

ALSO the ‘you look tasty’ english dub is dropping today!!! i hope they don’t butcher it im nervous frfr

sasha when i tell you reading this was a whole rollercoaster HAHAHAHAHA thank you for making me laugh it truly sounds like the post link click depression got you GOOD 💀

now i still have some beef with vein but i get it i truly dooooo. he DOES look tasty 🥲🥲

i am fully intending on filling up those tags soon! i just don’t have a laptop right now and i can’t bide writing on my phone 🥲 i should have a new one over the next 2/3 weeks, though!!

PLSSSSS i beg you to unload your thoughts into my inbox again sweet sasha. i enjoyed this SO BAD HAAHHAHA. MUCH LOVE TO YOUUUU❤️❤️❤️❤️

[stardustloki]

The Unfairness of Life

Omega stared down in horror at the blood.

For that was what it was - blood. She’d seen enough of it on clothes and old bandages to be able to recognise the deep brown colour in a heartbeat, to know the crusty way it dried onto fabric.

So, she had internal bleeding. That was fine, that was manageable, they could fix this.

-

Or: Omega gets her first period, and has no idea what it is. Thankfully, Lyana is there for her.

-

Tags: Omega & Lyana, Hurt/Comfort, Omega is so unimpressed by puberty, it's gross, babies should grow in tubes, as is Right and Proper

Read it below the cut, or on ao3 here.

Omega stared down in horror at the blood.

For that was what it was - blood. She’d seen enough of it on clothes and old bandages to be able to recognise the deep brown colour in a heartbeat, to know the crusty way it dried onto fabric.

Kriff.

She forced herself to take deep, steady breaths, in the way her brothers had taught her, ignoring the way her head had started to spin.

So, she had internal bleeding. That was fine, that was manageable, they could fix this. The fact that she wasn’t in any pain yet and that the amount of blood she’d lost was small enough that it had already dried seemed to indicate that she wasn’t in any immediate danger of bleeding out. She would just need to get back to her brothers, who could run a full medical scan, and heal whatever the problem was.

This was fine.

A tentative knock came from the bathroom door before Lyana’s voice filtered through, hesitant and uncertain, “Omega, are you okay in there?”

Screwing up her eyes, she cursed internally. She couldn’t tell Lyana what was wrong, there was no way her friend would be able to deal with this without panicking. After all, she didn’t have all her experience on missions, and had thought a little cut was worth crying over a few weeks ago! No, she’d just have to deal with this by herself.

“I’m fine,” she replied, trying to keep her voice level.

“You’re a bad liar.”

Wincing, Omega did have to admit that this was true. She sighed.

“Can you get one of my brothers and AZI? I’m bleeding.”

“What kind of bleeding?” Lyana asked after a few moments’ silence, strangely calm for someone who surely must have started freaking out by now.

“The blood kind of bleeding.”

“No,” Lyana let out a sigh that sounded mildly frustrated. Omega wasn’t sure what her problem was, she was the one who’d just asked a stupid question. “Do you mean you’ve hurt yourself, or have you just started your period?”

Now it was Omega’s turn to fall silent for a few seconds as she considered this new information. 

“What’s a period?” Obviously it had something to do with blood, and was something she was meant to be aware of, maybe it would explain the situation? However, judging by Lyana’s tone of voice, a ‘period’ didn’t sound like it should be a serious thing, so maybe it wasn’t the answer to her problem - finding dried blood in your underwear due to some kind of injury inside you was clearly serious.

“...You really don’t know?”

“Should I?”

“Well…” Lyana started. “Most humans who can grow babies inside them get them. So, you know the place inside you where you can grow a baby when you’re an adult?”

Omega’s face morphed into a grimace while her friend paused, clearly trying to figure out what to say next. Sure, she knew that natborns who had the same parts as her were able to make kids inside them, but she’d never thought of herself in that way. It was disgusting. It was unnatural. Babies were meant to be made in nice sterile tubes, not squirming around inside of you. And they definitely shouldn’t be squirming around inside of her!

Then a new thought hit her, and as the full horror of it sank in, she struggled to remember how to breathe. Lyana wasn’t gonna tell her that there was a tubie inside her right now, was she? She was sure other stuff was meant to happen before that, wasn’t it? But it would explain the bleeding…

“There’s like a layer of tissue and stuff inside you, that’s meant to protect the baby,” Lyana continued while Omega wrapped her arms around her stomach, reminding herself that soldiers did not panic. “But once a month, when your body sees that there isn’t a baby inside of you, it gets rid of the layer, which comes out as blood.”

Omega put her head in her hands, trying to process this. “So,” she said slowly, “this is meant to happen once a month. ”

“Yeah, for a few days.”

But that was so inconvenient!

“Then why hasn’t it happened before?”

“It’s not meant to happen when you’re a little kid, it’s meant to start when you’re around our age.”

Omega sighed, and tried to think about this logically. Objectively, this completely sucked, especially as she was never gonna grow a tubie inside of her because a) they belonged in tubes, and b) it would make her completely useless on missions. However, it did mean she probably didn’t have some major internal bleeding problem, which was definitely a plus.

She pulled herself together, stopped staring at the brownish spots of blood, got up off the fresher, pulled her shorts up and washed her hands. When she unlocked the door she saw Lyana waiting on the other side, eyes wide with concern. 

“Are you alright?”

She thought about moaning about how kriffing unfair it was, how she bet her brothers didn’t have to deal with anything this stupid, but she stopped herself. What would be the point? Whenever she complained about anything normally they all talked about solutions like blowing things up, or putting things right, or getting back at the Empire - how was she meant to get magically a day younger and then stay like that?

She frowned. She’d talk to AZI. 

“I’m fine.”

“It’s okay, I hate it too,” Lyana smiled weakly at her, “but if you need a hand with any of this, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks,” she muttered, folding her arms, feeling embarrassed and childish. “I just think tubies belong in tubes, that’s all. Cloning is a lot less messy.”

Lyana blinked at her.

“What?”

[thatonesalmonlingnamedspike]

welcome :D

(images above is not mine, it's an art req by @pokimoko[a cool person :D]!) (i will hold onto these forever tysm dude)

(also AUDHD OCTOLING SQUID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(tw!!! I swear here(got that American and Scottish in my dumb self), if you don't like it, you should probably go!!! I don't wanna make people sad :<) 🦑 ★ this abt me temp is by @electricalstemplatesᔦꙬᔨ—!! ╰━ Name: Spike ↭ Age: not telling but here's a hint: I cannot drive a car┊🎮 Pronouns: any! she/her is preferred tho!!! ﹅ __gender: Transfem | orient: lesbian__ꕀ🏆 ✮ l [link]() 🔫➜ I (surprisingly)have a gf who likes to be called Eight/Agent 8!!!↯ . . ੭ ⁠くコ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡

⁠ C⁠:⁠彡 C⁠:⁠彡 C⁠⁠:⁠彡 C⁠⁠:⁠彡 hello, I'm Spike! you can call me Goldie if you want, too. i go by any pronouns! i have ADHD so i may forget to do things... if i do, remind me! ;-;

cake day: jan 19 :D

a furry/avian/lgbtq+ safe space! (if I ever make you feel uncomfortable, please tell me!!! I don't wanna make you feel that way!!!!)

i am opening art requests again after like 3 months lol i can draw:

pfps

ocs(that aren't complicated)

memes

reaction images

art prompts

please send asks on @askbfdicharactersorocs i wanna draw objects more

BUBBLE BLOG: @thebubblebfb

BH BLOG: @etherealhole

LIY BLOG: @liythefourbiddenexplorer

TWO BLOG: @two-integer

ROOT BEER(my objectsona) BLOG: @transfem-cowgirl-cook-rootbeer

TEA KETTLE BLOG: @caring-kettle-ii

MINECRAFT OC BLOG: @ask-chorus

ANOTHER WORLDBULDING BLOG WITH ANOTHER OBJECTSONA: @spikyhairpick

WEATHERY BLOG: @ask-weathery

FLOWEY BLOG: @floweys-save

BLOG WITH A SPECIES MADE BY A FRIEND: @purple-petals-brightzone

RANDOM LAB CREATED TREE CHILD BLOG: @acorn-askblog

HFJONE MAGAZINE AND STOCKING BLOG CO-MANAGED WITH MY FREIND: @christmazine

ANON OC: @anonice-anonymous

TEXTY BLOG: @hfjone-texty

you can also find me on: Roblox Wattpad Beta.Character.AI Scratch Reddit Twitter/X

more detailed ref on root beer :3 ushi-oni beastial with Starsheet(her tail, foamy, has Mycelium)

golden egg!1!1!

about the Salmonling:

ROOT BEER?!?!/!(REAL)(AT 3 AM) :000000000

nicknames:

Spike - yea sure, anybody can call me this Salmonoid - it's salmonling, but they get mixed up often so yea :) Salmonling - sure :) Golden Egg - blem THING - w h y d o y o u c a l l m e t h i s Person - ok???????? Root Beer - go for it :D Spika - this one's your fault irl fren/silly Pika - other sona's name so ye :D Asteroid - old roblox name, ye :D any kin name so ye :) legal name - big no-no >:( Any other silly little nicknames: go for it!

i'm a young artist trying to build my following on Tumblr! I draw many things, including;

-{memes(sometimes)}- -{CHANGED}- -{Bugsnax}- -{fanart(sometimes)}- -{Battle for BFDI/TPOT}- -{Mysterious Object Super Show}- -{Otherworldy Ravenous Beast}- -{Animated Inanimate Battle}- -{Open Source Objects}- -{Excellent Extraordinary Entities}- -{Beautiful Ultimate Really Never Ending Realm}- -{The Daily Object Show}- -{The Nightly Manor}- -{Inanimate Insanity Invitational}- -{and other object shows!}- -{smaller game characters}- -{splatoon}- -{My own OCS}- -{UNDERTALE}- -{Cookie Run}-

and more to come in the future! my blog is mainly for wholesome content cuz do a lot of meme/just straight up wholesome art.

i'm alright with nsfw art of my ocs although i wont draw any nsfw myself. i'm not ready yet...

my asks are always open, I would love to answer questions for you all on both accounts! :D

my account isin't that active with posts since i often forget to finish or just start another drawing...

i appreciate likes and reblogs and I would love for you all to follow me on my adventure through Tumblr! be sure to stick around for stuff like work in progress animations and artwork. <3

tag guide

#spike's art - art I'm proud of

#spikes art - the old, CRUSTY ahh art I NEVER want to see again/silly/pos

i have no other tags bc I'm dumb and forget to tag things

birthday: jan 19 :D

fav colors: 💜purple💜 💙blue💙 💖pink💖

Interests:

Object Shows

Memes

Spongebob(ik sounds generic but yea i love that show)

Pokemon

Minecraft

Splatoon

Roblox: @mayab3020

UNDERTALE

Bugsnax

Cookie Run: Kingdom

sexuallity: lesbian, objectum

kin:

Liam(HFJOne) Remote (Tpot/Bfb) Asriel (UNDERTALE) Alphys (UNDERTALE) Ash Ketchum (Pokemon) Teardrop(BFDI,BFB,BFDIA,TPOT) Taco(BFB) Taco(II)

thank you for reading :>

(hfjone thingay by @s1arrite)