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atanx · 9 months ago

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James Somerton's "A Measured Response": A Measured Response

so I watched a reupload of the video because idk i like to torture myself. and i took a bunch of notes:

“I tried to be a voice for every member of the queer community, but that was a failed endeavour before it even started.”

what a strange way to say ‘I tried making it seem like I’m the only queer creator and stole from and actively harmed people in the queer community. knowingly. purposefully. and when I was called out in the past I tried to hide it.'

“I'm a cis, white, gay man. No matter how much I try to be a good spokesperson, I can never really, truly, understand the life experiences of other, far more put upon, members of the queer community.”

so of course I stole and hid work from the people I can't understand, gutting it of their personal experiences and refused to redirect my audience to those people so that they can enrich themselves and hear about issues pertaining them from someone who actually does understand.

“...one of the reasons I used their own words. But I should have made it clear that that was what I was doing.”

BITCH YOU STOLE. YOU GUTTED THEIR STORIES OF MEANINGFUL PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. YOU WEREN'T USING THEIR WORDS TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND YOU WERE MILKING THEM FOR CONTENT AND DEPRIVING PEOPLE OF ACTUAL, SOULFUL, MEANINGFUL ARTICLES AND BOOKS AND DOCUMENTARIES AND VIDEOS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING INSTEAD.

“Being a cis white man I thought I might win over some people who otherwise wouldn't listen.”

Yeah sure. Because racist transphobes are going to be watching your badly plagiarised gay film analysis.

“I would also like to apologise to Jessie Gender, who is one of the kindest people I ever met. Through my hot-headedness, I drew her into this anger spiral.”

‘through my hotheadedness.’. shirking responsibility onto an ‘ingrained personality trait of yours’ I see.

if you are so honestly sorry for being an asshole to Jessie why don't you fucking apologise to her directly? privately? not as a way to boost your own fucking image??

he's trying to earn good will by complimenting Jessie Gender “oh he knows to compliment an awesome person we have that in common I guess he can't be so bad after all” fuck you I recognise your strategies and it's gross to drag Jessie into this like that, she spoke out against you and you are trying to imply some sort of friendship or something between you. okay I cannot UNDERSTATE the way he tries to make it seem like they are close in some way and sort of drag her onto his side that's so fucking despicable. as far as I know Jessie Gender does not have a relationship with him of any kind?

once again bringing up death threats I see. obviously death threats are shite and anyone who threatens the dude in seriousness or harasses him will not see the light of heaven as Hbomberguy said but IN AN APOLOGY YOU DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU THAT'S MANIPULATION

also blaming the police for not clarifying a situation in a timely manner - the police are a flaming pile of garbage and I hope the institution explodes but NOT SAYING ANYTHING WAS YOUR CHOICE. THE POLICE DIDN'T MAKE YOU DO SHIT THERE

the problem isn't that you tried to “create a channel where all queer people could be safe”, the problem is that 1) you are a misogynist 2) you yourself engaged in transphobic behaviour and 3) you also actively supressed queer people's voices. The problem isn't that you supposedly wanted a space for all queer people, the problem is that you tried to MONOPOLISE queer literature analysis. fuck, queer doesn't look like a word anymore I've written it too many times now

(paraphrased) “I should have been helping with making queer people's voices discoverable” this makes it seem like he just didn't do anything and not like the reality that he was actively trying to rewrite history and bury LQBTQIA+ voices under his steaming pile of garbage

also BLAMING YOUTUBE AND THE ALGORITHM FOR ‘PUSHING HIM’ because he's cis and white, like maybe they did, I certainly wouldn't be surprised, but that is not why other creators suffered, a large part of that can be attributed to James Somerton stealing their work without any acknowledgement whatsoever apart maybe if they are lucky, a “based on” in the credits or their name flashing on screen for half a second.

“I should have done more to share the voices of other queer people” THAT IMPLIES YOU DID SOMETHING. YOU WERE ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST THAT YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT-

“it was just my dweam to be a youtubew and when my videos gained twaction i felt pwessuwed to make mowe vewy quickly and that's why they wewe so shit uwu” fuck off you weren't pressured into shit you just wanted to make money and that's why you were a content mill

“early on I thought that crediting authors in the opening credits alone was enough” what about the times YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT??? YOU'RE MAKING THIS SEEM LIKE THE DRAMA IS ABOUT YOU CREDITING PEOPLE WRONG WHEN ITS ABOUT YOUR SYSTEMATIC THEFT AND OPPRESSION OF THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE VIDEOS FOR AND ABOUT AND THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE A SAFE SPACE FOR. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WATCHES YOUR VIDEOS?? WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY IT DOWN

not him using Hbomberguy's example of the DEEP CUTS: SOCIETY AND QUEER HORROR video and claiming he credited all people in the opening scene when Hbomberguy highlighted he DIDNT EVEN CREDIT MOST OF THEM FUCK OFF ARE YOU DELUSIONAL HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS

I think I'm going insane this all seems so blatantly fake. he brings up the evil queens video and how he asked Sean Griffin, retroactively, permission to include his work in the video. and he shows a ‘screenshot’ of an email Griffin allegedly wrote to thank him for putting him in the title-card and that he thinks it is ‘a very thoughtful video’. only the text of the email header, such as Griffin's name, the RE:, and the To: is a lot smaller than the ‘text’ in the email, which leads me to believe that the below text is edited in some way. And with how hard James is trying to rewrite history, it wouldn't surprise me if he literally rewrote the email or cut things out to present himself in a more positive light. obviously I can't prove that the email is fake but I'll just say that I think the likelihood is very high that it is.

the way he says this also implies that he asked for permission after he made the video but hadn't published it yet. which is also blatantly false.

again trying to waltz off responsibility on nick, saying he was much more interested in production and implying that nick did all the writing .

“nick and I had both grown up poor so when I lost my job in 2021 (approx.) we of course were desperate and turned to producing videos even quicker and plagiarising the fuck out of all of them! but we can't help it we were both poor as kids!” fuck off, you weren't poor when plagiarising every-fucking-thing, this was in “the second year of COVID”. obviously if they really did grow up poor that sucks, and that's why we should eat the rich and redistribute their money. not plagiarise people who partly are poor or not financially cushy and manipulate thousands of people into believing you are the only queer creator.

also milking his mom's cancer. if you were really that worried about your financial situation, one would think that you would get an actual job for security and not put everything into your youtube career that is unstable, especially considering you've already done a lot of plagiarism and have no intention of stopping. “oh I plagiarised because my mom had cancer QAQ” that is so digusting to use a person's medical condition like that.

“i have memory issues because of a head injury i suffered as a child and that's why I plagiarise badly. see, I copy pasted the text with the intention to rephrase it later but forgot.” that would still be fucking plagiarism if he'd done that, also, if he's so aware of his memory issues and how they lead to him plagiarising, why didn't he try to work around that? leave himself notes? or tell nick to remind him to integrate actual proper credit and citations before uploading a video? mark the plagiarised stuff in the document with like highlighter or so when you're pasting it in?? oh but he didn't do all of that because he has ADHD. now, ADHD can be debilitating, but he says it's recently diagnosed so it must not have caused a lot of problems for him so far, so it's probably not severe and even if it is, it doesn't excuse him not crediting people properly. stop fucking hiding behind things ‘you can’t change' because if you truly can't you probably shouldn't be doing this in the first place.

“my mom really wanted me to make a movie with her life insurance but that wasn't paid out so I decided to crowdfund it. i planned to underpay the actors so hard it was under union wages. we got more money than we were expecting and upgraded to wanting to film a feature (final girl) but i didn't want to start working on it until the campaign was over for some reason that totally isn't me just wanting to exploit people for money!”

I'm not gonna go into the Telos stuff but he tries to explain it by claiming it was very unorganised and that's why they constantly ran into issues and that's why nothing ever got done and they were JUST about to start doing stuff when the Hbomberguy video released. You know what, I can believe it, although I am very doubtful considering all James ever does is lie. Idk.

once again trying to excuse his plagiarism with needing to pay two rents and thus needing to make more videos for more sponsors and not having the time to not plagiarise like please. i don't believe that they were in that dire need of money and if they were - just get a fucking stable job and put youtube on the backburner.

also once again trying to make it all about him by once again talking about his suicide attempt and death threats. like. no one should suffer through that kind of mental anguish but honestly I cannot bring myself to feel sympathy for this man. and i see this as an attempt to gather pity points.

“nick worked very hard on these videos other three years and it's unfair to [them] (james says that they're non-binary but doesn't indicate their pronouns anywhere? and in the beginning he uses they/them but later only he/him so idk what their pronouns are but it seems like they/them is at least part of their pronouns so i'm just going to use that) that they all got taken down” well y'all shouldn't have fucking plagiarised then. let this be a lesson maybe and don't fucking show your face on youtube again!

he is fucking relaunching his channel. like james. this isn't something you come back from. no one will ever be able to trust you ever again and you don't deserve an audience. he claims all the revenue will go to Hbomberguy's fund but we have no way to verify this. we have no way to know just how much he makes and how much of that is actually going to the fund. i don't trust him with any money. which is why i watched a reupload rather than the original. he's also releasing a new video he claims is entirely by him. like?????? don't???????

he also might not relaunch his existing patreon but he's still making a new one.

he claims he will “work his ass off” to make non-plagiarised videos. like that isn't “working your ass off” that's the bare fucking minimum. I really want to trust him. and I want to believe he'll actually try to do better. and maybe he will. and i believe in second chances, even for someone as despicable as him. but throughout this video he has continuously tried to play down what he did. tried to make excuses for everything. and that's why i am not going to give him a second chance. if he can't even admit what he did i don't trust him to not do it again. and i also just plainly don't want to endorse a person making such arguments.

also, he plugs his fucking new patreon right after this.

“this video is not about me promoting myself. it's about me apologising.” the only fucking person you actually ‘apologised’ to is Jessie Gender.

James Somerton: makes a billion fucking excuses. Also James Somerton: “These are not excuses. There is no excuse for what I did.”

this entire video was just a publicity stunt. he tries to humanise himself and repair his image. this is just a tool to be able to continue on and continue making money.

he also still claims the disney video was based on the Celluloid Closet and he credited the author and ignores that this wasn't the only author he fucking plagiarised in that video. he is trying to reduce his plagiarsm to incorrect crediting and mistakes and that is disgusting.

the least he could have done was mention by name out loud every author he plagiarised and what work he plagiarised. not just say “uuuh i'm sorry to everyone I plagiarised QAQ”

#james somerton #hbomberguy #james somerton a measured response #atanx.txt

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mrs-gauche · 5 months ago

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Let's talk about the Red Lyrium Idol

(…Because it's not like this thing has been discussed to death over the past ten years, right? 😂 *drops my two cents in the Scrooge McDuck money bin*)

Ah yes… The red lyrium idol. The one thing that's given me a headache since 2018, as I'm still trying to figure out how this damn thing could possibly fit into my bazillion tinfoil theories.

Whether it's the first official DA4 teaser in 2018, the Blue Wraith comic series or the entirety of the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, a lot of the supplementary media and promotional stuff setting up the course for DA4 seems to be centered around the idol. Quite literally, in some cases, like this mural from the first 2018 teaser:

It certainly led us to think that the idol won't just be another McGuffin (or so I hope lol), but other than that, it's still heavely shrouded in mystery…

Which is why I will now make an attempt to unravel this and gather every single bit of information we have on it (so far) and maybe that'll get us closer to some sort of answer in the end (actually, it won't, because this got SO long that I had to split this post in two parts lol No one's going to read all of this anyway 💀)!

Look, I just needed to get this behemoth of a post out before we might get an actual substantial trailer tomorrow and none of this will probably matter anymore. 😂💀

(Note: This whole thing was initially intended to be solely for myself to keep track of any information we've gotten about the idol since DA2. But since it's gotten SO long over the years, I figured why not just rewrite it into a somewhat coherent text and post it on here? :D ......Seriously, it's really, REALLY effing long.)

The Idol's Journey so far

To me, the idol always seemed to be something like "The One Ring" in LOTR. A forged ancient artifact with creepy unknown powers that is said to feel "alive", almost as if it possesses a will of its own, seeing as it has somehow found its way from countless random people, back to (presumably) its former owner. It also appears to be somewhat cursed, given that almost everyone who held it at one point seems to have died or gone mad by now (Yeah, I'm very worried about Varric and Hawke 👀).

Let us start with a quick summary of the journey the idol has made in the span of about 12-13 years (not counting the unknown timespan in which the last chapter of Tevinter Nights takes place):

First discovered by Hawke and Varric in an ancient Thaig in the Deep Roads.

Stolen by Bartrand, who then made a quick trip to Rivain.

Sold to Meredith, who turned it into a sword.

Taken out of Meredith's petrified corpse by Carta dwarves.

Sold again to a Tevinter mage, who brought it to House Qintara in Ventus.

Handed to a secret agent of Fen'Harel named Gaius (who was impersonating Magister Qintara).

Traded away to Tractus Danarius.

Handed to Magister Nenealeus at Castellum Tenebris to be used as part of a ritual.

Picked up by Cedric Marquette after the fortress fell, while trying to escape.

Handed back to Tractus Danarius, who then probably (not confirmed) went to Nevarra to perform another blood magic ritual.

Picked up by a Mortalitasi who (maybe) took it to Tevinter.

(Supposedly!) ended up in a vault under an auction house in Llomerryn in Rivain, where it was (supposedly!) retrieved by Solas.

That's quite the journey… that you wouldn't even know half about if you didn't read the comics or Tevinter Nights. But whereas the book and comics were all published after the first teaser trailer in 2018, after which the idol became the center of the fandom's attention and speculation, it should be noted that a connection to the idol was in fact already made way back in 2014, when people noticed that the image of Solas holding Flemeth's lifeless body at the end of Inquisition was very reminiscent of something else.

...Which brings us to the point of what the idol is even depicting to begin with.

Description

Before I'll start to give my own description based on the models in-game, the teaser and concept art, I'd like to quote the people who've actually seen it in person.

In the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, we are being told three tales by three different people, who all describe the same idol differently.

The Carta Assassin: "A couple hugging, too thin to be dwarves - but it's sitting there, glowing softly like a ruby lit by the grace of the Maker himself. […] It's heavier than you'd think - lyrium's heavier than you'd think, too, but this was heavy even for that. When I hefted it in my hand, it was like it wanted to keep moving, like it was liquid inside."

The Mortalitasi: "An idol crafted from red lyrium, which seemed to show two lovers, or a god mourning her sacrifice. It whispered in our minds when we saw it […]."

The Orlesian Bard/Solas: "He whispered something as he picked it up, tracing his gloved fingers gently along the crowned figure who comforted the other."

The one thing that all of these seem to have in common though is two figures who embrace each other in some way.

Which is interesting, because in all the depictions of the idol we've seen so far, it clearly shows three people instead of two. Granted, the third figure is a bit cramped up in the back of the crowned figure, but what's strange is that not even Solas himself mentions this third figure.

Most notable though is the crowned female looking figure in the center, which is holding onto the two other figures on each side of the ring shaped object (or it's the two figures holding onto the female?). The figures themselves look rather goulish, deadly or skeletal, with their bone structure clearly visible and all their expressions captured in a mix of horror or torment. The small carved-in lines coming from the middle figure's eye sockets also resemble black tears, much like we've seen on "The Mother" in Awakening.

There's also no sign of clothing, which is all the more apparent on the concept art of the idol, in which the breast of the middle figure is.. much more prominent. lol (We don't make fun of saggy boobs in this house, it's just nature and gravity after all, but for the sake of observation, I will note that they do remind me of Broodmother boobs, too 😂), aside from a hint of what could be a veil on the middle figure's head.

At the bottom of the idol, the lower bodies of the figures seem to fully submerge within its name-giving red lyrium and this "claw" type thing, which is coming off in the shape of crystalline red lyrium spikes at the tail end, though in the concept art and the DA2 model, these spikes were clearly more like red lyrium roots. But either way, the bottom makes it kinda look like it's been broken/ripped off?

We can also see tentacle like features, that remind me of the figures we've seen in the mural in the 2020 teaser and the depiction in the 25th anniversary book that revealed to us what the Archdemons were initially supposed to look like. 👀

I'd also like to point out that in the original concept art of the idol, the ears of the crowned figure look much more pointy to me than in later versions. 👀

There's also this "ring", that I've seen many people connect to how the Veil is often portrayed in Solas' murals.

But if this ring is supposed to depict the Veil, then what could it mean for the crowned figure reaching across to hold that ominous third figure on the "other side"?

And yes, I recognize that this ominous third figure also seems to be missing a left arm, just like another certain main character. 👀

The one thing that stands out the most though, is probably the crown itself. Most people might first associate it with Andraste, when the same shape can be traced as far back as ancient statues of Mythal.

Yeah, there's definitely a pattern here. 😂

That being said…

Connection to Mythal & Solas

Okay, we all know about the theory that Andraste might have been Mythal's previous host, right? We all know about the parallels between Mythal's story, Andraste, Flemeth, etc. And after comparing the idol to Flemeth and Meredith in their moment of death, considering all of the above/following and how old this thing potentially is, I will now make a wild guess here and argue that the idol is in fact depicting Mythal's death.

"He whispered something as he picked it up, tracing his gloved fingers gently along the crowned figure who comforted the other. But I could not make out the words, for I fear they were elven."

Not only does Solas seem to hold sentimental value for whoever the crowned figure is supposed to be, while also talking to it in elven, but the way he describes to "caress" the idol in Tevinter Nights does also seem to mirror how Flemythal was comforting him at the end of DAI.

However, I always thought it was a bit odd how Solas describes the idol as "a figure comforting another", when… tbh, "comforting" would probably be last thing that comes to my mind when I look at this...

"Agony" would be more fitting here, maybe? lol Kinda begs the question of how Mythal was murdered, too, with this being her expression in her moment of death? 👀

Without getting too much into it here, if there's one thing we can take from everything we've learned so far about their past, Solas' relationship with Mythal must've been a rather complicated one, to say the least.

"He did not want a body, but she asked him to come. He left a scar when he burned her off his face."

Solas calls Mythal "the best of the elven gods", calling her "the mother, protective and fierce", and Solas is even described in the designer's notes as "Mythal's oldest friend" who is all about free will, yet if the spirit origin theory is true and Cole's cryptic comments in Trespasser are in fact about them, it was Mythal who gave Solas a body against his will, potentially bound/enslaved him with her vallaslin, and maybe even forced him to act against his original purpose?

"You should have seen me when I was younger. Hot-blooded and cocky, always ready to fight."

Cole: "You didn't do it to be right. You did it to save them." Inquisitor: "Solas, what is Cole talking about?" Solas: "A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything."

How much of what happened was Solas acting out Mythal's will, or rather, acting out of vengeance and pain in reaction to Mythal's death? How much of it was him acting downright impulsive?

Solas: “Cole is a spirit. The death of the real Cole wounded him, perverted him from his purpose. To regain that part of himself, he must forgive.” Varric: “You don’t just forgive someone killing you.” Solas: “You don’t. A spirit can.”

Or was it Mythal's death itself that "wounded him and perverted him from his purpose", just like he described what happened to Cole?

And what does that say about Mythal then, when she clearly hasn't forgiven her murderers and still strives for vengeance after all this time? What if Solas' own perception of Mythal and all the circumstances surrounding her murder is warped because he was once bound to her? 👀

Anyway. To get back to topic.

So if we assume that the idol is in fact depicting Mythal's death, then that brings us to the next question of why the idol is even made of red lyrium? Or rather, what is Mythal's connection to red lyrium?

We know that red lyrium is tainted blood of a Titan. Mythal was the first to kill a Titan and mine their blood for things we won't get into in this post. So, how did the idol end up in the Deep Roads, anyway? How long had it been there? One thing that's kinda strange to me, is how the DA wiki page about the idol says that it was forged by the dwarves, solely based on the fact that it was initially found in the Deep Roads, when we have no actual evidence for that. We've seen statues of both Mythal and the Dread Wolf in the Deep Road section in Trespasser where the mining of lyrium was undergone, but we don't know if the dwarves even had any part in building them as well.

Would the dwarves forge an idol of the elven deity who conquered them and killed their Titan, if they were somehow forced to do so? We also have to remember that dwarves were and still are the only ones able to actually mine raw lyrium safely, but even the Carta dwarves in Tevinter Nights had to take several precautions in order to recover the red lyrium idol from Meredith's corpse. And even then, many of them still fell shaking or went mad in its presence like Bartrand.

So if it only takes that little exposure to have that much of an effect on someone's sanity, how were the ancient dwarves or anyone even able to create it in the first place? What if the idol was initially made of blue lyrium but was then somehow corrupted?

And if we take one moment to really think about what an idol actually is.

"An object representing extreme devotion and religious worship to a god."

While Solas doesn't think of any of the Evanuris as actual gods, he still seems to hold Mythal at such a high regard that he wouldn't even speak of her at a sacred place like the Temple of Mythal (whether or not that was because he just wanted to withhold any secret ancient knowledge). He's able to fully recite the invocation to Mythal if you bring him with you to her altar. He also looks exactly like the sentinels in Mythal's temple.

I could go on, but generally speaking, there are so many little hints pointing to Solas being a former slave/servant of Mythal that, again, we won't get into here, but it's important to mention when trying to figure out why the idol (presumably) even belongs to Solas.

"The idol's journey is now complete, and it has found its master."

In Tevinter Nights, the Dread Wolf claims that the red lyrium idol belongs to him. He also made sure to punish those who tried to misuse it, going so far as to march in with an entire army of spirits and snapping a guy's neck with his jaw. (Yup, you're better off not to touch the Dread Wolf's stuff for dirty blood rituals, kids.)

"You use my idol carelessly, and in doing so, you threaten all creation."

Additionally, in the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, Charter and other spies conclude that Solas must need the idol for whatever ritual he's planning, while Solas in Bard disguise claims that he's already in possession of the idol now and therefore, I quote, "cannot be stopped". (Though I personally still don't actually buy a single thing about his vivid tale at that auction house, but we'll get back to this later. lol)

And if the idol belongs to Solas, was he the one who created it, or did he order the dwarves or someone else to make it for him? But why would he intentionally make an idol out of red lyrium, anyway? He is fully aware of the dangers and corruption that comes with being exposed to red lyrium and its use. Especially considering that red lyrium is blighted and how he repeatedly expresses great concern over the Blights and gets furious over the Grey Wardens' attempts to preempt them by killing the Archdemons (because he obviously knows more than us).

So, does he know a way to use it without getting corrupted like everyone else? The Seekers of Truth are so far the only ones we've seen to be immune to red lyrium thanks to having their minds touched by a spirit of Faith during their vigil. Could Solas' connection to spirits/his hypothetical spirit origin allow him to use the idol without it effecting him?

But if any of this is true, then l'm again asking myself what even was the purpose of the idol to begin with? Why or when was it created? How does it differ from any other red lyrium, and what could Solas have used it for in the ancient past?

Powers & Effects

So, let's talk about what this thing can actually do (as far as we know).

(Btw, this is the part where I will shamelessly copy a lot straight from the DA wiki, because truth be told, I'm just a German struggling with limited vocabulary and I figured there's simply no way to summarize this any better than the wiki already has. 💀)

Just like any other red lyrium, we know that being exposed to the idol for too long will make you mad/paranoid/possessive/violent, while also grant you special powers, until overuse causes your body to be completely overtaken by red lyrium. It seems to thin the Veil wherever it is currently kept, allowing spirits or demons to interact with the physical world.

It also emanates a song that is slowly turning people who hear it insane.

The Song

"It sings… sick music." "It eats you inside until you're nothing." "It creeps into your thoughts, humming." "They hear a different song. The song behind the door old whispers want opened. They are dead and dark and done." "Songs screaming far away. It wants to wake up but can't remember how."

(- Cole's comments about red lyrium/red templars)

After Bartrand took the idol and left Varric and Hawke to die in the primeval Thaig, he started hearing voices, claiming the idol was "singing" to him. Even after selling it, Bartrand could still hear the idol and was eventually driven mad by its red lyrium.

Three years later, it is discovered that Bartrand had chipped a piece of the idol off and left it in his estate, which causes the house to behave like it was haunted and the Veil was torn.

Then during the "Haunted" quest, Varric himself remarks several times to hear music while walking through the estate, much like the Carta assassin in Tevinter Nights recalled to have heard "music in the wind, like some old song I heard as a kid but can't quite remember" when obtaining the idol from Meredith's corpse.

Important to mention here is that Varric seems to also be the only one in the party able to hear this song.

Varric: "Hey… is that music? Where is that coming from?" Hawke: "In don't hear anything." Varric: "Where is that singing coming from? You hear it, right, Hawke?" Varric: "Where is that voice coming from?" Hawke: "What voice?" Varric: "I can barely hear it… I wish I could make out the words."

Varric also told us that, after Bartrand went mad, he tortured his non-dwarven servants by cutting pieces off them to help them "hear the song".

(And remember, the idol was found in an ancient primeval Thaig in the Deep Roads, sitting on something like an altar, indicating that it was being worshiped by the ancient dwarves as well. Presumably because they too were being influenced by the idol's/red lyrium's song?)

Haunted

During the "Haunted" quest, we learn that the mere presence of a shard of the idol in the estate causes:

"Voices whispering in the walls"

Random objects moving on their own

Apparitions/screaming spirits appear running across the floors

When Varric picks up the piece of the idol, he starts to exhibit the same symptoms of madness Bartrand showed, at which point Hawke can either let Varric keep the piece, or can take it from him with the intent of having Sandal destroy it.

If Hawke asks Anders to diagnose Bartrand in Act 2, he suspects a demon at work, however Bartrand is a dwarf. Instead, he determines that "his mind has been poisoned by something powerful".

In Tevinter Nights, the Carta assassin recalls that, in the attempt to retrieve the idol from Meredith's corpse, most of his colleagues fell shaking and whispering the closer they got to it.

Meredith

After Bartrand sold the idol to Meredith, she reshapes it into her sword Certainty, which does eventually drive her insane as well. It also gives her unnatural powers, such as the ability to animate the statues in the Gallows, and even limited flight capabilities.

(My question is though, were the things happening in that final fight directly caused by the idol or was this just the result of the Veil being already weakened that much by the many terrible things that happened at that place/Kirkwall in general?)

Anyhow, during the final battle at the Gallows, Meredith overuses the lyrium sword, causing it to burst into dust and petrify her into a statue.

Though as we all know now, some part of Meredith seems to have survived somehow, as her… mind(?) or something was shown to now still "live" within the red lyrium somewhere in Kirkwall at the end of Absolution. She (or "it") also seems to have somewhat control over the red templars now, too.

So, how is this possible? What exactly is she now, if it even is herself and not just a manifestation/echo of her memories or something? Could it have something to do with the idol? No one really knows (and we might never find out, if Netflix won't give us a second season, anyway lol), but I do think it's curious how the idol is likely depicting Mythal's death, who didn't actually die either and lived on through the ages as a type of lingering "wisp" clinging to various hosts. 👀

I also want to point out how Solas did suspiciously include Meredith's petrified corpse in his mural in the 2020 teaser as well, placing her right under that ominous upside down figure with the tentacles.

Furthermore, just like Meredith, the idol also seems to be somewhat indestructable. lol After Meredith's sword burst into dust, it regrew inside her petrified corpse (which Solas was apparently also aware of). What's interesting is that it regenerated in Meredith's chest of all places. You know, like, where the heart is supposed to be? 👀

Then there's also this curious line from Anders, when talking about Varric acting strange after obtaining a shard of the idol:

"This thing's magic seems only more potent when broken."

I've mentioned it before, but with the spikes (or roots in DA2) at the bottom part of the idol making it look like it was ripped or broken off of something, you have to wonder if its current state is somewhat broken, even after regenerating.

"Hot-Blooded"

During the Haunted quest, Fenris will remark this:

"Whatever is here is angry."

In DAI, Cole repeatedly comments on how red lyrium feels "very angry" and how it is "less angry when it's cold". We know for a fact that red lyrium emanates a noticeable heat. A corrupted Bartrand is especially weak to cold/ice magic.

While anger is generally associated with heat, I find this aspect particularly interesting, given that red lyrium is tainted blood of a Titan.

And building on that, while still searching for further connections between red lyrium, the idol and Mythal… Remember how the ancient sarcophagus in the Blue Wraith and Dark Fortress comic was used in a ritual, in which lyrium combined with fire of a Great dragon carved lyrium infused markings into Fenris' and Shirallas' skin, granting them special powers.

Not only was this ancient sarcophagus specifically built only for elves, and its design resembling that of Mythal's statues…

…but here we have a case in which lyrium is purposefully "set on fire" by a Great dragon to create "elven super soldiers". Mythal is always depicted as a dragon. And she mined lyrium in humongous amounts.

Again, red lyrium emanates heat. If this was common practice in ancient times, then I feel like it's not surprising that a Titan would eventually be pretty damn angry in reaction to its blood being continuously burned for centuries [insert boiling blood joke here].

So, aside from the red lyrium being blighted, could there be a connection in Mythal burning the Titans' blood? As far as we know, it did take a couple of aeons in which Mythal (presumably) continued to mine (and burn?) the Titans' blood, before the ancient elves sealed the Deep Roads for good, because they discovered something… bad. As Solas himself declares in the vision described at the mural depicting a Titan's death:

"Let this place be forgotten. Let no one wake its anger." "The vision grows dark. An aeon seems to pass. Then the runes crackle, as if filled with an angry energy. A new vision appears: elves collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic." "Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells is cast."

And there it is again. That anger we're talking about. What's so interesting to me, is how this does sort of come full circle with Mythal and the idol after all, since the motivation behind Mythal's actions, even after thousands of years, remains her unwavering desire for vengeance upon the people who betrayed and murdered her, which, in a way, does mirror the same anger/heat that the Titan is emanating from its tainted blood.

And speaking of blood……

A Ritual Blade

In Tevinter Nights, we learned that the idol is able to produce a blade, which is then used as part of a blood magic ritual.

"The Tevinter mage was killing his slaves. […] He had cut the throat of one of them, and then another, catching the blood of his victims on the idol as he made his way around the circle. […] The Tevinter mage raised the idol before him, and I saw a spike of lyrium spring from the base of the idol, so that all at once, it was not merely an idol, but a ritual blade. He slashed his own hand, and a wave of power pulsed through the cavern. It was as though we were the blood, and the cavern was the body through which it flowed, and we fell, all of us, to the ground, our minds pulled into the raw chaos of the Fade by the power of his ritual."

In the end of the Dark Fortress comic, the idol produced another red lyrium sword, that could be fully detached and was then placed onto the before-mentioned sarcophagus, turning Shirallas into a raving beserker that was pretty much invincible as long as he was in possession of that same sword.

While the blue lyrium infused sword that was used in Fenris' ritual simply dissolved in the process, the sword produced by the idol could "regenerate" and was especially resistant to Great dragon fire.

"Unlike the lyrium-infused swords of the so-called Arcane warriors, this sword should survive the ritual."

In the final fight against him, Marquette comments on how Shirallas "feeds energy to the sword from the red lyrium in his veins" and how in turn "the sword heals his wounds".

So in both the comic and Tevinter Nights, the idol/the weapon produced from the idol seems to draw power specifically from the blood of its wielder. It makes me wonder if it was initially intended to be used this way, since we have to remember that it still presumably belongs to Solas, who claims to not practice blood magic, because it seems to make it more difficult to enter the Fade.

Which is ironic, given what the mage in Tevinter Nights did to disrupt the Fade, but also how the Magisters Sidereal used a massive blood ritual to enter the Fade physically.

And oddly enough, in your first conversation with Solas about blood magic, he makes this curious analogy with daggers as an example…

Inquisitor: Every time I've seen blood magic used, it has been for some evil purpose. Solas: I once saw a woman being stabbed in the stomach with a dagger. She died slowly, in angony. It was repulsive. If the Chantry outlawed daggers, would that stop the people from using it? Of course not. […]" Inquisitor: "You don't need to sacrifice a slave's life to make a dagger." Solas: "I suppose it depends upon the dagger."

So… Could Solas be referencing Mythal's death here? Or what if the dagger here is referring to the idol in its blade form? What the heck does he mean by "I suppose it depends upon the dagger"? Was a slave's life sacrificed to create the idol maybe?

But if blood magic wasn't the sole purpose for why it was made, then what else could the idol as a ritual blade be used for?

Which brings us to…

Dalish mythology

According to Dalish legends, Fen'Harel told the Creators and the Forgotten Ones that the Avvar had forged a "terrible weapon", a blade that would end the war between both clans of gods. He told the Creators that it was forged in the heavens, while the Forgotten Ones were told that it was hidden in the Abyss. And when the gods went seeking it, Fen'Harel sealed them both in their realms forever.

Okay. So, let's just assume for a second that the blade in this legend was actually the idol in its blade form. Because hell, what are the odds of having two "super powerful ancient blades that belong to Solas"? lol

If they are in fact the same weapon and the part about Solas tricking the gods is true, why were the Evanuris and the Forgotten Ones so eager to get this thing, to the point that they would fell into a trap?

And with this, I'd also like to point out the level design in the scene in which Flemeth takes Kieran's Old God soul in the Fade. I can't help but feel like the statue of Dirthamen being stabbed in the back with a sword, crying a stream of blood, resulting in a huge pool of blood, as well as a bloody ouroboros symbol on the ground, is a very deliberate design choice. Especially considering the context of this scene with the revelation about Flemeth and Mythal, I'd argue this is all in reference to how Mythal was betrayed and murdered.

Again, the idol could depict Mythal in her moment of death. In the final fresco in the rotunda, the one Solas never finished before leaving the Inquisition, we see a wolf looming over a dragon slain by a blade.

In the last visual of the 2022 cinematic that, going by Varric's narration, could potentially depict the destruction of the Veil, Solas appears to hold something that resembles a blade with a very destinct handle. Additionally, we've since discovered an icon hidden on the Steam page of DA4, that shows a dagger with an identical shape and the same glowy purple as the Dreadwolf title.

So we have the idol in its blade form, the blade Mythal was potentially slain with, the blade Solas is holding in the 2022 cinematic, Solas mentioning a dagger in relation to blood magic and Fen'Harel's blade in Dalish legends.

That's a lot of blades... and a lot of blood. lol

The Hunt of the Fell Wolf

"The Hunt of the Fell Wolf" is the title of a poem that can be found in the Jaws of Hakkon DLC. It tells a story of former Inquisitor Ameridan, his friend Haron and their fight against a demon wolf.

Along with numerous odd things in this tale that could be interpreted as some kind of metaphor (or just the devs messing with us, if you want to know more, please check out this post), it also mentions an "idol of fade-touched stone" in connection to the demon wolf.

The wounded knight in darkness Found within the cavern’s gloom An idol of fade-touched stone, Which could prove the monster’s doom.

In the poem, after a grim fight, the wolf takes Ameridan's friend Haron to its lair, a "labyrinth of winding cave" (which many believe is referring to the Deep Roads, just like the ancient Thaig in DA2 where Hawke and Varric found the red lyrium idol originally) where Haron, oddly enough, also happens to find an idol. What's intruiging though, is that this idol seems to be connected to the wolf in such a way that he can only be defeated if both him and the idol are destroyed and struck down at the same time.

With burning blade, Ameridan And monster met again Whilst elsewhere did Haron valiantly With demon-wards contend.

As demon-stone was shattered, Ameridan struck true: Beast and spirit—both felled at once, Though neither hunter knew.

"Beast and spirit—both felled at once"

Two entities that are connected across two different places… as in the physical body and the spirit maybe?

As in the waking world and the Fade?

So, let's reiterate.

The red lyrium idol belongs to the Dread Wolf. Cole remarks how he can feel that Solas is "in both places". The word "Dread Wolf" itself is an anagram for "World" and "Fade". We've talked about the popular spirit origin theory before, Solas taking a physical form against his will because of Mythal. The whole matter of Solas' "true name" before he called himself Pride. Solas' entire personal quest, which may or may not mirror his own past, a spirit of Wisdom being denied its original purpose, turning into a pride demon ("He wants to give wisdom not orders"). His strange remarks at the end of Cole's personal quest ("We cannot change our nature by wishing"). The fact that Solas makes Cole forget about his true identity, just like spirit!Cole does. The visual portrayal of Solas "consuming" Flemeth's powers at the end of DAI. The way in which Solas doesn't recognize anyone in the waking world as "people", but will vehemently debate you on why spirits should be considered people.

"But the People… They need me." (- Solas to Flemeth at the end of DAI) "Never again." (- Solas after burning the mages who were responsible for Wisdom's corruption) "From this moment, should you ever bind a spirit, your life is mine." (- the Dread Wolf's final warning to the mages in Tevinter Nights)

All of this considered, what could the poem in JOH imply for the connection between Solas and the Dread Wolf/the Dread Wolf and the idol?

"They made bodies from the Earth, and the Earth was afraid. It fought back, but they made it forget."

One theory assumes that the creation of the Veil lead to the separation of the ancient elves' bodies and their souls/spirits, assuming that before the creation of the Veil, the Evanuris somehow made bodies from the Titans/lyrium for spirits to manifest and then enslaved/bound them to their will by marking those bodies with their vallaslin.

But if that's true, then what happened to Solas when he created the Veil?

"He broke the dreams to stop the old dreams from waking. The wolf chews its leg off to escape the trap."

In all the murals, tarot cards and illustrations, the Dread Wolf and Solas are always depicted separately.

What really IS the Dread Wolf? And what is he to Solas?

"It was a beast unlike any I had ever seen. Lupine in appearance, but the size of a high dragon, with shaggy spiked hide and six burning eyes like a pride demon, and it came to us on wings of fire that resolved themselves into a horde of lesser demons."

From what little we know of the Dread Wolf himself, he only seems to exist within the Fade (that is to say, before the Veil, Solas was already depicted as a wolf, presumably even before his rebellion and before the Evanuris "bestowed" him with the title "Fen'Harel"). In the Mortalitasi's tale in Tevinter Nights, his army of spirits follows the mages back to the waking world, yet the Dread Wolf himself remains in the Fade. In one of the frescoes in the rotunda, Solas portrays the Black City surrounded by the six burning red eyes that resemble those of the Dread Wolf, almost like he's keeping watch over the eternal prison of those he banished. In the Tower tarot card, the Dread Wolf is ominously looming over Solas, almost like it's about to consume him, while in one of the Trespasser murals, it looks more like the Dread Wolf follows his lead. And then there's the DA4 2018 teaser mural, in which they're opposing each other, only seperated by the red lyrium idol in the center of the Veil.

If the red lyrium idol is connected to Solas like the idol in the poem is connected to the wolf, could this be part of the reason Solas is so desperate to find it? Does it possess some kind of spirit? Can the Dread Wolf only be defeated if the idol is destroyed at the same time, just like in the poem?

Where is it now?

So where's the damn thing now?

Well, in my opinion, there are two options.

Option 1) The bard's tale in Tevinter Nights was complete bullshit. lol

Despite Solas trying to convince us that he already obtained the idol in a vault some time ago under an auction house in Llomerryn, it's possible that, much like his whole charade in that chapter, this tale was also entirely fabricated. lol

To make it short, here is a list of arguments for why the "bard's tale" could've been a complete lie:

Solas attended this spy meeting specifically for information on the idol's whereabouts (because he doesn't actually know where it is currently?).

Everything until the last two pages was an act.

Both the Mortalitasi and the Carta Assassin point out several contradictions within his tale.

Upon hearing the other spies assuming that he needs the idol, it would just make sense that he would want them/Charter to believe that he’s now in possession of the idol and “cannot be stopped”, so that they would drop all effort to find it before him.

On the very last page of the book, there's a lists of bullet points of information when Charter is about to write down her report, and it does not explicitly say “He has the idol” but rather just what it looks like, which suggests that Charter didn’t buy his story either.

So if this was all lies, the last known location of the idol would therefore be the unknown person who took it when escaping from the Dread Wolf's spirit army in the Grand Necropolis in the tale of the Mortalitasi.

Meaning that Solas would therefore still be searching for it now. (Which would actually be kind of hilarious, considering how there's likely gonna be a ten year timeskip since DAI, so he would've been searching for the flippin thing for the better part of a decade now. 😂 We know from the end of the Blue Wraith comics that he had followed the idol's path via eluvian, but maybe he just lost track of it at some point? In fact, the last we heard from him, Solas was apparently busy pursuing some Venatori people to get another ancient artifact called the Crucious Stone in the The Missing comic, much like he prevented the Tevinter mage in Nevarra from using his idol. Solas after ten years of searching for the idol was probably like "Oh fuck it, I give up, on to McGuffin Nr 2 then". lmao)

In an interview with the comic writers Nunzio DeFilippis and Christina Weir, they talked about how in their initial draft of Dark Fortress, Solas actually *got* the idol(!!) from two of his agents by using the eluvian located at Nenealeus' place before BioWare stepped in and requested a change. 👀 That version would've explained how Solas was able to track the idol through the eluvian we see at the end. Their own interpretation was that Solas can only overlook a certain radius within the area of where another eluvian is located. Which would actually support the assumption that Solas might've lost track of the idol at some point after Nenealeus left the place… but that's just their interpretation and not official BioWare canon (yet), sooo…. Hm.

Option 2) Solas has the idol now.

So let's assume that the part about him obtaining the idol in Tevinter Nights was actually true and it's now in his possession.

Aside from this, the only thing that could speak for Solas already having the idol in the beginning of DA4, is once again the final visual in the 2022 cinematic.

If this cinematic is in fact playing at the beginning of the game as a general re-introduction to the lore and the last visual is depicting Solas in the middle of destroying the Veil using the idol, then.. well yeah, there it is, in his hand…. at least, for now. Making Solas succeed in the first 10 minutes, I guess? lol

……Unless!

See, a few years ago, I speculated about how the idol might actually be the perfect plot device/motivation for our new protagonist to get involved in the whole Solas deal without even knowing who he is.

Let's say the last visual in the 2022 cinematic is actually showing us a hypothetical scenario, and not something that has already happened/is currently happening. Like, Varric gives this expository narration explaining who Solas is and what might happen if we don't succeed in getting the idol. (Notice how Varric says "And we're the only ones who can stop him" at the end… Like there's still a chance to stop him before this actually happens.) We know from Tevinter Nights that Charter knows that Solas needs the idol for whatever ritual he's planning. And Charter obviously informed the Inquisition/Varric about this as well. So the next logical step for the Inquisition now would be to obtain the idol (whether or not the bard's tale in TN was true) to prevent this ritual at any cost, right?

The comic The Missing re-emphasized that Varric is now in charge of getting people that Solas doesn't know. And this might be where the new protagonist gets recruited by Varric (who is still a spymaster after all) and gets assigned the alias "Rook" for a heist mission to obtain the idol. (And after a very thorough observation of the DA4 reddit leaks from 2023… it looks like Rook might've actually succeeded in this potential quest?)

While we don't know when the stuff in the leaks actually takes place within DA4's storyline, I think it's safe to say that Rook will obtain the idol at some point in the story and that it will play a pivotal role, if the blurb on the Steam page for DA4 is to be believed. lol

As well as what could likely end up being the game's icon, found on the Steam page.

And again, remember how in the Hunt of the Fell Wolf poem, it seemed like Ameridan struck the wolf’s body in the waking world, while his friend Haron killed the spirit (inside the idol?) in the Fade. What could this imply for DA4 then, if we are applying the role of Ameridan, Haron and the wolf in this tale to the Inquisitor, Rook and Solas?? 👀 Is this how we can stop him? The Inquisitor confronts Solas in the waking world, while Rook has to destroy the idol/fight the Dread Wolf in the Fade?

Or could it just be a metaphor for the Inquisitor in DA4 keeping Solas occupied to distract him from Rook, while they can figure out another secret way to deal with him/how to get/destroy the idol?

See, the thing is, we have to remember that this is after all, a video game. lol Meaning that, if our protagonist gets to carry around a powerful ancient artifact/weapon, I would assume that this has to be somehow implemented in the gameplay as well. What we can take from the short footage of the 2023 reddit leak, is that Rook might carry the idol (if it really IS the same thing) while still fighting with their own main weapon in combat. So, what if the idol serves as more of a special power tool outside of combat, for example, like the anchor did in DAI, where it can only be used for special occasions? Let's say, the idol in its blade form can't be used in battle but is able to "split" the Veil or reality, like the anchor was able to open and close rifts? Or, if we assume that the idol is something like an ancient phylactery (which btw is my favorite theory and I will talk about in my second post), maybe it can be used as some kind of "tracking device"? Actually, I'm super curious to learn how Rook is even able to carry it like this in the first place, since we know what kind of effect it usually has on people. lol

~~~~~

Anyway, I'll make a hard cut here now and save the rest of this behemoth of a post for a second separate post (because I also just realized that tumblr doesn't let me add any more images 😂💀), so if any of you actually made it this far... thank you for being just as crazy as me about this and I will post the second part shortly after. lol ❤

#tinfoil time #da4 #red lyrium idol #solas #dragon age 4 #mythal #good god that got long 💀💀💀💀

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bobbin-buckley · 6 months ago

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So Lonely In Her Mansion (2)

Cairo Sweet x ScriptWriter!Fem!Reader

Summary: (second part) Cairo invited you over because she was so lonely in her mansion, that night turned out to being something unexpected

Warnings: Smut, oral (R receiving), fingering (C receiving) dirty talk, powerbottom!Cairo, Top!Fem!Reader, lesbian sex, mentions of writing porn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“..I wanna be yours..” she mutters against your lips. “You will be.”

Tonight turned out like something you we’re definitely un-expecting.

You only thought she wanted you over just for company, but then all the flirting turned into this. Your hand between her thighs, lips attached, and being extremely touchy with each other.

“Y/n…”

Cairo spoke desperately, she wanted- no needed you to touch her..feel her.

“Patience baby..” your voice rasped. Hands on her, one on her thigh and the other teasing her wet heat.

She was squirming, needing some sort of friction by grinding on your fingers. “Y/n…stop teasing..”

You chuckled, actually having a little fun. “Why should I? This is actually fun~~”

Cairo whines. Her eyes filled with desperation, need, desire. She couldn’t handle this burning sensation in her lower stomach.

“Baby, please..” she said in a needy tone. Fuck she needed you, she needed your fingers drilling into her wet cunt, calling her a slut..yours or even a good girl if she tried to be one.

Cairo has never felt this desperate before, never felt this immediate need of pleasure by someone. She’s only touched herself once, but that was only for her writing..she needed to know what it felt like.

“Y/n..” “hm?” You continued to tease her, “what is it pretty girl?”

She whimpered, “please..just..please..”

With a chuckle, you just kept edging her on. “What baby? Tell me..wanna hear you say it.”

She whined, having enough of this teasing from you and the begging she gave. A big whine escaped her throat again, not wanting to say those words.

“Don’t be embarrassed sweetheart, say it..” you urged on.

She huffed, “please..just..fuck me. Need your fingers..inside..” You grinned wider at each word, rubbing your fingers closer to her dripping hole. “Be patient baby, I wanna take my time with you.”

Cairo whines again, she hates that you were teasing her. She had such the urge to grab your hand and do it herself, but she restrained. “Mm..Y/n..” She moaned your name.

You smiled more, finally taking your two fingers and slipping them inside her wet heat. You both moaned, feeling her tightness around your fingers felt so good for the both of you. She didn’t want you to stop or pull away. As you pumped two fingers in, she kept the repeating motion of grinding her hips against the two digits. Another moan escaped her as the rubbing sensation against her clit was sending shivers down her spine.

Her body was already shaking, her thighs twitching at every little moment of pleasure. It all ripped through her like a bolt of lightning, as it kept a replicating pattern.

“Look at me.” You said with a somber look, gripping her chin with your free hand to make her look up at you. “Keep your eyes on me baby, feel the pleasure..the warmth of my fingers as I guide you into daze.”

With that, you kissed her deep. Slamming your fingers into her faster, keeping a steady rhythm. Pulling away from the kiss, a string of saliva following which just increased the heat of this point in time. A sealed memory to keep in your mind together, something Cairo will rewrite in her history.

Hell..she’ll even write a whole goddamn book about you if necessary.

“Fuck Y/n….you know..i-I’ve been..fantasizing this..for..oh fuck! A long time…” she spoke in broken moans and gasps. “Oh really?” You mocked, already knowing she has..it was obvious. “What is it that you imagine? Or write? Do you write it all dirty? Dreaming of my fingers drilling into your tight heat like now, making you cum on the digits as I keep fingering you, maybe even when I make you suck my sticky fingers covered in your cum Cairo.”

She moaned at your words. Making her orgasm approach closer, legs shaking so much more than before. What made this even hotter, is that you..yourself was feeling pleasure..just by pleasing her! Seeing her so vulnerable under you, made you want to cum.

“Cum for me Cairo, wanna see that pretty face fall apart as I send you into your own fantasy.” Your breath hitched, placing your covered clit above her knee as you grinded against it.

Cairo was shocked but didn’t mind, if it meant cumming together it would be delightful for her.

“Y/n I’m so so close..please..” “me too..oh me too..” your long fingers pumping in faster..the sounds of her wetness squelching in your ears, her moans and your gasps echoing off the walls of the room. Maybe even the sound of your voice in Cairo’s head, every word you speak repeats in there.

“Cmon..cmon baby, so close.” Her eyes now focused on your lips, reading your lips and hearing your words as you sent her into an orgasm.

“Shit..shit! Y/n!” She screamed, her moans and grunts echoing off the walls even more. “Cum for me Cairo, come on. Wanna see that pretty face when you let go.”

She gasped, feeling your fingers sink into her further..hitting that spot that makes her see stars. She felt her legs shaking, broken moans flailing aloud, that feeling in her lower abdomen.

“Be a good girl and cum for me.” And with that, she came. Her orgasm flooded her senses, making her feel like she was on cloud nine.

She gripped the you shoulder tighter, tugging you down to kiss her. You kissed back, slowing down your fingers as she slowly relaxed from her high.

“You okay there?” You asked, pulling out your fingers. This made her whine a bit, her pussy clenching around nothing. “Y-yeah, god you made me feel so good.” Her voice rasped. She totally lost her voice due to her moaning.

“Yeah? Wanna do it again?” You asked with a smirk, and she chuckled. “You know it.” Cairo grinned, and placed a hand on your lower abdomen. “But can I make you feel good?”

You blushed at her words, honestly excited to get the same treatment by her. You nodded dumbly, already feeling high just by the way she was looking at you.

“I want you to ride my face,” she spoke in that accent that made you go feral. God would you pay her a million just to hear her praise you.

“Okay..” with that, you removed your pants and panties. She smiled and watched you, laying further down the couch to get in a better position. Once you removed everything else, you climbed over her. She gripped your legs to angle you better once your dripping self was hovered over her.

She was practically drooling as she grabbed your hips and lowered you on her face. Once your wet pussy lips made contact with her mouth, you both moaned in sync. Your hands shot down to her brown locks, gripping her head as she licked through your folds.

“Oh fuck Cairo. Just like that.” Cairo moaned at your taste, making bigger licks and even kissed your clit or sucking it from time to time. You now started to ride her face, thrusting your hips so that she could taste you all.

She even started to dip her tongue into your entrance, making a shiver go down your spine. “Yes Cairo, fuck me with the pretty face of yours.”

Your body jolted of pleasure each time she slipped her tongue in and out. God did it feel heavenly, (even if it wasn’t supposed to be heavenly at all)

She was doing so good for her first time pleasuring somebody. You were so close to cumming already. Your body was trembling, you sat even more one her face and she couldn’t speak.

Cairo rubbed your clit even faster and it sent you over the edge, your legs shook. “Yes..oh fuck Cairo..gonna cum all over that pretty face..” You moaned out. She licked up your cum, enjoying the taste.

“Oh shit…” She chuckled at your words when you sat up and laid back on the couch. “Thank you.” You replied, “no thank you, Y/n.” She sat up, smiling. “Thank you for coming over, I needed this. I needed you.”

You smiled at her words. Happy to know she also needed you.

____________

Sorry for the super late ass post 😭

I’ve been so busy, but I finally did it 🤪

I’m working on like five different things plus school shit

I plan on making something from Abigail, I love that movie so much y’all should see it.

#jenna ortega #cairo sweet #jenna ortega x fem!reader #millers girl #cairo sweet x female reader #wlw #lesbian #smut

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guqslvr · 1 year ago

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how to be hermione granger at school 💘

one

READ. i cannot stress this enough it’s so obviously hermione and it helps u get smarter i promise. (i’ve read my whole life A LOT and i get amazing grades in english 9 times out of 10). it doesn’t even have to be different books all the time, i have reread the harry potter books at least 6 times each, every time you read it again you realise bits you’ve missed, and a lot of the time you can expand your vocabulary by a lot, meaning you will know what a lot of big pointless words mean, just like hermione !

two

DO YOUR HOMEWORK THE DAY YOU GET IT. hermione always hands in her homework early and she is very organised, you don’t really have to do it the day you get it anyway if you’re busy, you might be better making some sort of schedule where you have different nights a week where you do homework for different classes. trust me, this also helps you so much mentally because you’ll be so much less stressed if it’s all out the way or planned.

three

STUDY. try to study every night, for at least an hour. i know that hermione spends almost all of her time studying, but that’s not healthy so you shouldn’t do it, 1 - 2 hours a day plus whatever time you spend reading should be good, but if you feel you’re not improving like you want to, go for an extra 1 - 2 hours on SOME nights, do not do this every day as you’ll have no time to do anything else, and that’s unhealthy ! if this post does well i will make a study schedule based on when i would study <3

four

LISTEN AND TAKE NOTES IN CLASS. this is obvious but i feel like i should add it in. if you want to be like hermione you have to be smart, it’s just the truth, and maybe you don’t think you’re smart just now, but if you listen in class, take notes, and study them, i promise you it will make school so much easier and you’ll feel so much smarter. what i usually do, is in class i take quick notes in a jotter, ipad or notebook, and when i get home, i rewrite them so that i can make them neat, this is optional, but i cannot study messy notes. this is also helpful as it drills the information into your head more as you’re writing it twice.

five

ROMANTICISE SCHOOL. hermione enjoys school and studying, so if you want to be like her, you should too ! make a playlist of songs that you think hermione would like, do your hair like hermione, add little accessories that make you feel like you’d be in a harry potter film, buy pretty pens, get stationery that actually motivates you to do your work and studying and have fun with your friends ! just enjoy school banbecause it can be fun if you decide it is 💘

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nalyra-dreaming · 2 months ago

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I just don't see the Nicki/Louis similarities, ESPECIALLY in the show context. If anything, they will parallel in being opposites.

Wellllllllllll..... I mean, Rolin... approached Louis as a character through the lens of Lestat's previous relationships, namely Nicki and Gabrielle.

I'm not joking. This is the relevant transcript of the podcast (after Naomi asks about Louis being black now):

“I kind of came around to his ethnicity through a very weird way, which is through Lestat. So there's a very famous sort of rewrite of Lestat, starting with book two. He's aggressively different character than he was in book one. But that's the Lestat that she carried on for the rest of time. And I was like, OK, that should be Lestat. And so we tried to take the given circumstances that are set with Lestat and put it back into this time period. And so he had this sort of super emo relationship with this guy named Nicky. And then he had a very excitable relationship with his mother as his second companion choice. And get into that season three, y'all. And then I was like, let's give Lestat a legitimate third attempt to try to figure out how to be with somebody for the rest of his life. And how do you not repeat your mistakes? So it started from there. And I wanted somebody who had some money, because I think he wanted to be with his own folks there. And I think he wanted someone, I thought, who could fight back and who could be a challenge and who would force him to restrain himself. And nobody at AMC was really interested in seven seasons of The Regretful Plantation Owner. So even with that, though, you wanted to have some connective threads to the novel. So we made Louis come from a lineage that once did own a plantation, did own slaves. The other thing was sort of aesthetic. If you were going to take away the ruffled shirts and all the swampy goodness and you wanted to make this, okay, something new. What's the next hot time that had a sense of smell and taste and sound? Birth of Jazz seemed pretty, pretty right on. And it just so happened there was a spot at that historical time where a black man could get in on some business and still have the sort of morally gray thing that owning a plantation would. And I don't know, it all actually clicked into place pretty quickly.”

Rolin Jones on the Podcast. *shrugs*

The show went about this brilliantly and color-consciously (thank god), much more than the transcript here can convey, obviously.

But it's still an intent of character building, namely the changes, the enhancements they made to Louis (from a character POV) being that what Lestat wanted (and did not get, for various reasons) from his other companions.

I mean, Lestat was very clear about the similarities between Nicolas and Louis in the book. He was also very clear as to where Louis surpassed Nicolas there (and Lestat's feelings). And Rolin obviously is aware of that.

I don't really see Louis as an opposite. I see him as someone more than what reminded Lestat of Nicki, and the one that Lestat ultimately fell for - fatally.

And I think that holds for book and show version.

#Anonymous #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire #iwtv louis #louis de pointe du lac #beautiful one

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north-noire · 3 months ago

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what's your process for writing? :3

my writing process: I stare at my document file for hours and weep, repeat until writing gets miraculously done.

In all seriousness I tend to already have outlines ready for future chapters and stuff like that ready (and an idea of what I'd like to happen in the arcs/timeline of events). I've already had like a vague outline of my entire fic as a whole, but that's just kind of my own version of what happens in FNAF LMAO. I also just sometimes brainstorm, imagine new scenes that seems fitting for future chapters and list it down for me to write!

Though sometimes, even my writing execution just sometimes makes me have to divert/change plans up for chapters since sometimes writing's a bit unpredictable and sometimes some ideas I have just come out of nowhere/don't work anymore!

I talk back and forth about ideas with some friends/my alpha reader and bounce back ideas between them! It's really fun brainstorming with people and being able to put my ideas into words before writing it down. I also sometimes draw it out as concept art since it's fun visualizing some of my ideas!

Of course I still base most of the ideas from the actual source material (the games, some parts of the book trilogy) but since this is an AU I'm allowed to explore some "what-if" ideas and be able to have some creative freedom with it without worry since it is an AU after all! I get to do/explore things the way I want without worrying about judgment since this isn't really canon-compliant.

I take very long in actual writing stage (for obvious reasons), and after completing my rough/first draft I let it sit for a few days or a week before reading it again with a fresh pair of eyes and edit/revise/add new scenes accordingly. Sometimes I just make scenes out, no matter how bad it may be at first, and then just let revising/editing do my work for me. Sometimes I also have readied drafts for some scenes of future chapters that I can come back to, put it in the document and just rewrite it/rework it to be better suited for the narrative.

I tend to take my time longer during the editing/revising stage for a lot of things; I'm a perfectionist, I tend to sort of heavily criticize my work, and I worry a lot about its quality at the end of the day, and sometimes I realize that I need to fully revise the scene or fully rewrite a scene since it's lacking something/I'm missing a scene that should essentially be there. It's a hard battle, and an admittedly frustrating process.

That, and irl responsibilities makes it hard to just read through it sometimes.

During those breaks I sometimes read books/literature so that I can come back to editing/revising with fresh new knowledge on how I can improve or be able to know how I'll handle writing again.

After editing/revising is done, I just hand off the beta-reading to my beta readers, which also takes a while; we're all having irl responsibilities after all, and I mostly go to them back and forth about their feedback since it is nice having fresh eyes on your work WHILE also getting feedback from "first-time readers" of my work and what the readers might think of it when I publish it. They also help me with minor editing stuff since I'm not an English speaker (English isn't my first language) and their feedback really helps!

And then I usually draw out the cover chapter, and when my chapter's published, I do a nice little celebration for myself, since I take very long on chapter updates/making the actual chapters! It's important to celebrate the little victories we have, after all :]

Sorry for the SUPER long post, but since it is the writing process, I might as well share the ups and downs of my own writing process anyway XD Hope this helps?

#north-noire asks

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fontasticcrablettes · 1 year ago

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not sure if anyone's asked this before, but

a common criticism of Vesperia is that Yuri is never really punished for the vigilantism conflict, but I feel that the fandom's proposed solutions are too extreme or boring without much regard for his established character

have you ever had ideas on how you'd rectify this? whether it be a rewrite of certain parts of Vesperia or fanfic ideas

I've definitely thought about this before. I think the issue is that the game tried to address it with Sodia's attack on him, but due to the change of writers between acts 2 and 3, the payoff for that never really happened.

The set-up is there. Yuri spends act 2 inflicting his justice on those he has determined have escaped justice, and the act concludes with Sodia enforcing her own justice on him. But then act 3 comes, and those ideas are never really brought up again. The closest we get is Yuri calling Sodia out in Capua Torim for not carrying through her resolve and giving up on Flynn despite her earlier dedication to him. This could even be interpreted as "Yuri's vigilantism was fine actually" because the lesson he seemed to take from it was "If you're going to kill people, commit to the bit."

I've had a few ideas about addressing this. Disclaimer that I'm a novelist, not a game writer, so my thoughts are around what would work if this story was a novel and not necessarily considering gameplay needs.

The first consideration is that I don't think the game ever intended to 100% condemn Yuri's actions. Rather, I think they were going for a middle ground between his and Flynn's methods. Neither purely solo vigilantism nor a single man rising through the ranks and taking control of the Knights will save the world. You need a bit of both, and not to go to the extremes of either. So, I think it would be against the spirit of the story if Yuri was resoundingly punished and all of his choices punished and portrayed as wrong.

But... some of them should be. Flynn's side of the justice question was about working within the system, and the flaws of his choices smacked him in the face with Alexei's betrayal and realization that his actions to work within the system had led him to aid a coup. The closest thing Yuri gets to a comeuppance like this is Sodia stabbing him, which doesn't really get adequately addressed.

And after all this preamble ("#Nightfoot is bad at brevity" is a tag for a reason) I can finally get to some of my ideas for things that could have happened in the game to strengthen Yuri's character arc.

1. Repede

I think Repede is under-utilized. Yuri is not a very talkative guy when it comes to his own feelings. He doesn't want to burden his friends with his issues, so if he's going through some inner turmoil about his choices, he won't talk it over with his friends unless they bring it up first.

In a book, this could be easily solved with internal narration delving into his thoughts, but in a visual medium, he has to verbalize these. Repede could have been a perfect solution to this. They already set up Repede being a confidant when he got that title for being the only witness to Ragou's murder, but never did anything with it.

I think it would have fit Yuri's character to open up to Repede - to talk things over with his dog whom he knows will never tell another person and won't talk back - in a way he wouldn't want to with one of his human friends.

2. Alexei and Duke

There's a parallel between Flynn & Alexei and Yuri & Duke that could have been stronger. I've always been fond of the idea of Alexei and Duke being old friends who grew apart and became enemies over their dispute about how to handle the corruption of the empire. It makes them a neat parallel for Yuri and Flynn, and a dark shadow of what they and their friendship could become if they keep drifting away from each other and into more extreme deeds.

3. More Sodia

Having Yuri fall victim to the same sort of vigilantism that he inflicted on others is a great plot beat, but then it never really gets addressed again. Sodia does this huge thing, and then we never see her again until pretty late in act 3.

This kind of ties in to me talking about "Yuri and Sodia forced to work together" fic, but what if this happened in the game? What if there was some scenario where Yuri and Sodia had to go off alone together and actually talk to each other and having some messy shouting matches and acknowledge that they aren't so different?

4. Comeuppance for Yuri

Now an actual proposed scenario to "punish" Yuri for his choices. My idea is that when Yuri leaves his friends behind in Halure near the end of act 2, he makes it all the way to Alexei by himself. Rather than his friends catching up with him in the Quoi Woods, Yuri makes it all the way to Zaphias and confronts Alexei alone at the Sword Stair. There, he promptly gets his ass kicked.

The rest of the party catches up to him before Alexei can finish the job, and at that point it can switch to the whole party fighting Estelle as Alexei leaves, as in the game.

In the Quoi Woods scene, his friends call him out for trying to lone-wolf it and point out to him that he does in fact have good friends who want to help him. By shifting this reunion to the Sword Stair, just after he's almost died and fucked everything up, not only is he forced to learn that he can rely on his friends, but that he should.

5. Replacement for Ragou

It's briefly mentioned that there's a new magistrate in Capua Nor and that he's much better than Ragou and the city is so much better off now. This feels like a wasted opportunity to me.

I propose the group returning to Capua Nor in early act 3 to discover that Ragou has been replaced, but that the new guy is almost as bad. Maybe not "feeds children to monsters for the fun of it" bad, but still corrupt, still oppressive, still another head of the Empire's rotting body.

This forces Yuri to confront the idea that while he solved the immediate problem of Ragou not being punished, he didn't actually create any sort of system change. His methods alone are not the solution to justice because picking off the worst of the worst does nothing to change the system that produces and enables those people. While Flynn's focus on changing the system abandons people who suffer while he slowly reforms things, Yuri's focus will never create lasting change and just leads to him playing whack-a-mole with whatever pieces of garbage the corrupt system spits out next.

They need each other, and neither their methods are the solution in isolation. They can't do it alone. In the very last scene of the game, Duke tells Yuri that he's strong, and he replies, "That's because I'm not alone." That's the main message Yuri learns over the course of the game! Yuri goes from a lone wolf to someone who supports the help of his friends and that he's stronger when he's backed up by bonds of friendship. Showing Yuri that simply killing Ragou on his own was not enough, that he needs the cooperation of his friends all working on the same problem from different angles, strengthens that message.

6. Same Choice, Different Decision

This is one of my favourite literary tropes and such a simple way to demonstrate character growth and change.

With either some or all of the proposed changes above, let's end the game with Yuri having the chance to go after Duke alone. He has an opening to break off from the others, but this time, he doesn't. He takes everything he's learned about the necessity to work together and the importance of relying on others chooses not to be a lone vigilante this time. He proves that he has internalized the idea that he is strong because he's not alone.

7. Dark Enforcer

This sidequest could (should?) have been incorporated into the main plot. There's no reason for a storyline that directly parallels the main protagonists' journey and confronts him with the possible downfalls of his approach to be an easily missable sidequest.

---

So, there are some of my ideas! I've thought a lot about this over the years and tried to cut this down to just my plot changes that would directly address Yuri's vigilantism arc.

I think Yuri is often unduly criticized for having "no growth," because I think that just isn't true, but I do think the game flubbed the development of it. He's clearly changed his mind about being a lone vigilante by the end, but when did he emotionally process this? The pieces are there, they just aren't utilized to their full extent.

These are also all ideas about changes to the game itself, but I think most of them would also work as the basis of a fic, either canon divergent, post-game, in squeezing some scenes in.

#Anonymous #tales of vesperia #yuri lowell #nightfoot overthinks things

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hozaloza · 7 months ago

Text

When a crackship turned normal ship is becoming your comfort ship and it swims in your head 24/7

anyways

I'm really considering gonna rewrite some of the infection AU just to include this dumb ship ☠️

LISTEN IT'S MY AU, I DO WHAT I WANT--

Okay fr, it's not a big difference, so it's not like I had a drastic change

Anyways I'm pretty sure I've never shared this artwork for it here,,, here it is! Alex Laurier, caretaker of the kids, but mainly Ashlyn.

No matter what he is doing, if Ashlyn needs him or if he is tasked to do an assignment with Ashlyn, he must go, no ifs or buts.

We do not speak of his arm. No one speaks of the incident.

Infection Au lore drop here. No spoilers for the deep lore, just putting it behind a read more bc I can

In the facility, he was given access to an area where he does physical assignments with Ashlyn Banner. These are randomly assigned by the man who runs the research.

This all started when they took a field trip to Savannah, GA. The group was looking around, having fun, and overall having a great time. At some point, they remembered they had signed up for a tour in the area a week before the trip, and they decided to check if they even still had it opened. Luckily, they did, so the group walked to where the Sorrel-Weed house was and were met by a woman with piercings. She welcomed them in, checking that they were the group she was touring before beginning the tour. It was the usual biz; she gave facts, showed them rooms, and would discuss the paranormal activity of the house. While the tour guide was showing them the Francis Sorrel Library, her phone suddenly went off.

"Ah...I'm so sorry, this is my emergency phone. I have to get it." She picked up while walking out of the room. "Please stay here while I get this. Don't touch any of the items while I'm gone, I'll be right back!"

With that, the tour lady leaves.

She leaves the room to actually discuss an actual emergency (something was going on at the facility she worked at).

And while she was gone, Aiden decided to peak out the door to see where she went off to.

"Um, Aiden? What are you doing?" Logan asked. "Checking to make sure the coast is clear, duh" Aiden replied, walking out the door.

So, he forces the group to follow him so they could explore. Tay was all over for this idea, just wanting to look around.

While they looked around, Ashlyn got a strange feeling in her stomach. She felt as though they should head back to the room before the tour guide came back. But she didn't speak up. Eventually they make it to the basement (I'm assuming, idk I've never been to the Sorrel-Weed house), and Ashlyn senses a strange presence in the room. She looks over to where the phantom was in the canon, but nothing is there. "Whatcha looking at?" Aiden asked, scaring Ashlyn. "Ah! Stop sneaking up on me like that!" She yelled. Aiden turned to where she was looking at and started walking towards the room. "What are--" "Oooh, what's this?" Aiden interrupted. The others followed behind, and Ashlyn had no choice but to follow.

They saw a small plant like material in the corner, it's pattern sort of resembling a smile if you really squinted your eyes.

"Say, didn't Logan tell us his grandparents run a plant shop?" Aiden asked, "Um…it's flowers actu--" "Same thing! So, what kind of plant is it?" Aiden asked curiously. Logan took a closer look, but he scrunched his brows, stepping back. "I'm… I'm not sure. Looks nothing like what I've studied." "Maybe we can ask the tour guide when she finds us? She's bound to know--" Before Taylor finished her sentence, Aiden threw a book at the plant, which caused it to release a cloud of smoke. COUGH COUGH "AIDEN!! What the hell was that for?!" Tyler yelled out, gagging as he was unfortunately close to it. Aiden coughed harder than him, having been the one who got the most in his lungs. "I'm sorry! I got curious if it would do something when I threw a book at it!" "What did you think the plant was going to do?? Read us a bedtime story?" Ashlyn wheezed as she wiped the dust off her face. She observed it closely, wondering what the particles even were. 'This…. this doesn't look normal…' Ashlyn thought. "Excuse me?? What are you kids doing down here?? I told y'all to stay in the room!" The tour guide stated. The kids turned around, Whoops, they've been caught. Sigh "Never mind, y'all are young, I can't blame anybody. Let's head back to continue the tour…" She stated, rubbing her eyes.

Ashlyn felt wary of the plant, but it didn't really matter to her. 'It's not our problem anymore.' she thought.

...

The dust never left.

(woah Hoza actually wrote the beginning??) Anyways, that's all I'm sharing, ty for reading my Infection AU snip-shots.

#school bus graveyard #webtoon #ashlyn banner #logan fields #alex laurier #aiden clark #ben clark #taylor hernandez #tyler hernandez #sbg infection au #infection au #snip shot #one shot

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moodymisty · 1 year ago

Text

Sort of part 2 to this request but not really

Author's Note: @1stunseeliefaelass So no joke I swear my pigeon walked over my laptop's touchscreen and ended up deleting this post when I was in the bathroom, so I really apologize for taking so long. Had to totally rewrite it from what I still remembered of the request, so I'm sorry if anything is off;;; Also only proofread this one once to rush it out, so apologize for any errors.

❗Warning❗ This fic references Abomination Vault where it's implied Lilith might've assaulted Death, It's a very subtle reference that would be missed if you didn't read the book, but I figured I would warn people anyways. Please exercise discretion.

Summary: Your habit of tracing Death's scars ends up ends up bringing back an unwelcome memory.

Relationships: Death/Fem!Reader

Warnings: TW for implied reference to assault, Scars, Fluff but with some angst, Death doesn't deal with things in a healthy way but did you really think he would?

It's not often that you're able to stay with Death like this.

Far too often for your liking he has to leave before you're able to invite him to bed, or he leaves in the middle of the night, waking you up as he slips away. It doesn't help that beyond those circumstances, he doesn't often indulge in things like this. Largely out of habit.

You lean more into Death's side; Wanting his cool skin against yours, as well as his weight makes the bed dip more so to his side than yours, sliding you closer. It slots you into the nook of his arm, as he lies on his back slightly tilted towards you. Said arm keeps a loose grip on your shoulders, though you can feel it tighten for a moment any time you attempt to make a move.

You don't know if it's because he doesn't want you to leave, or he's annoyed you're moving so much; But either way you just submit to his grip and lay there content. It wasn't as if you were actually going to leave anyways. You're too comfortable here, feeling his body fitted against yours like a puzzle piece. You may be much smaller than him, but you can't help but feel like it's a perfect fit.

But as much as you've tried you don't feel quite tired yet; Maybe it was still the excitement of Death returning running through your veins even this late into the night. His arrivals are almost always a surprise, only cued in by the sound of Despair's ghostly whinny or the flapping wings of Dust coming through your open bedroom window. Sometimes he sends the crow to simply check on you, but either way it's usually a sign he's either here, or not far away.

Your hand brushes slowly over a scar on his side, and when you glance up, you notice he's staring right at you. You've already played with those healed wounds so much as of late.

Death doesn't tell you to stop though, as over time he's come to enjoy the feeling of your soft hands brushing over his skin. It's been far too long, if at all, since he's felt something like that. And even if he grimaces in his own disgust at you touching old scars healed from battles centuries ago, you don't seem to mind them at all. They almost seem to entertain you in an odd way. Wouldn't be the first time he's thought you were a weird little thing, given you entertain having the Grim Reaper himself in your bed.

"It's late. You should be asleep." You hum, pursing your lips.

As if Death should be nagging about sleeping, considering he so rarely does so himself.

"I'm not tired yet. Give me a minute."

You hear him heavily sigh; A cop-out thing he does when he's going to let you do what you want, but he doesn't want to seem like he's just going to let you win.

You just want to enjoy this a bit more, knowing that quite possibly he'll be gone in the morning, or will have to leave shortly after. This isn't a common occurrence, so you'll forgive yourself for being a bit greedy as your fingers brush over a scar on his ribs. The feeling is odd under your fingertips, but it almost has the same effect as someone would rubbing the soft threads of a blanket- a mindless soothing action.

It can't be too much to ask for just a bit more, even if your eyelids are starting to feel more and more heavy. Just push it down. You yawn again, eyes watering even after you blink a few times to rid yourself of the tears. Just a few more minutes.

The trousers Death is wearing are resting quite low on his hips, enough so to show a large set of scars on his left hip. They're long and thin, and probably go down over his thigh, if you had to take a guess given the way they trail downward. You probably never noticed them, given that normally you can't see at all whenever Death undresses to any degree. You just brush along it; It's an absentminded, soothing gesture, you don't even realize you're really doing it until part way though.

When you look up at Death however, you wretch your hand away as if his skin is hellfire once you see the look in his eyes.

Something about Death you've noticed over your time with him is despite how hard he tries to present as the emotionless Reaper, just how much raw emotion swims in his eyes. And right now, it was very clear you dredged up something you shouldn't have. His body is tight and rigid, but not in an angry sort. For just a moment he's trapped in the past.

"Shit, I- Sorry Death."

He looks down at you- but it almost seems like he looking right through you, in a way.

"Leave that one alone." His voice is angry, making you shrink, but he's not angry directly at you. He seems more so at a memory being brought back up by your touch.

"Sorry."

You can hear his heavy breath, making his chest raise and lower drastically.

He cringes, knowing that he made you shirk from him even if it was only for a moment. That's always been his biggest fear; That you'll eventually run from him like everyone else has. You should, any life preserving human would do it. He got lucky with you, and he's not going to let that foul memory ruin it.

His hand around your shoulder tightens, pulling you back tighter against him. Almost too tight for a moment, before he eventually loosens just a bit.

You look up at him for a moment, biting the inside of your cheek. You know he probably won't tell you anything about it; That habit is so deeply ingrained in him and it no matter how much you try it probably never will. but the least you can do is just be there.

Pressing your legs more against his you shuffle into his side, trying to find a perfect position to fall asleep in. One arm drapes over his torso in an attempt to hold onto him, pressing your cheek into his shoulder. You quickly find it, and the moment you close your eyes, you feel like it's going to be near impossible to open them again. You pushed off sleeping for so long that it finally just sunk it's claws into you, intent on not letting go.

And neither is Death, judging by the way his hand cups your shoulder. You don't mind; If anything you enjoy the pressure, and the knowing that he's right there. At least for the time being.

Meanwhile Death is looking down at you, feeling your breathing slow down. He can still feel it brush over his bare skin, but the way your muscles relax cue him into the fact that you've finally drifted off.

He's thankful you never asked about that scar. It's not as if he enjoys lying to you, but it's not something he wants to bring up ever again. Just bury it so deep inside of him and pile good memories on top of it like fresh dirt on a flowerbed. He's getting more and more of those, with you around.

Call him greedy, but he wants more of them. Even simple ones like this; With you so comfortable around him that you can fall asleep against him.

He pushes this memory onto the top of the pile in his mind- and shoves those older ones deeper down before calling it a night.

#darksiders x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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dangerously-human · 4 months ago

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FIRST PREGNANCY, GEORGE BABYFIC, LAUNDRY AND TAXES, TORTURE BUT MARRIED 💕😍💖🙏🤲🩷

Your selections are, shall we say, unsurprising. XD Half of these I have snippets for, half are still in the conceptual/outlining stage.

First pregnancy (My Heart Walked into the World): This is from a future chapter where Lucy and Lockwood are sparring in the basement and Lockwood has an "oh this is real real, I'm actually gonna be a dad" moment.

From this angle, the swell of her belly was more apparent; in another month, if she pulled the same move, it would be prodding him in the face. Not that they’d be keeping up with sparring then — or maybe they would; the pregnancy manuals weren’t exactly written with active agents in mind. He’d have to brush up on some of the chapters toward the back of the book later. Suddenly, it was difficult to drag his gaze away from that new shape. There really was a tiny person growing in there, a person he and Lucy had made together. It was incredible and unfathomable and frankly a little bit bizarre, and it was really, actually happening. Contrary to what George might tease, Lockwood hadn’t spent much time imagining this — had assumed, maybe, that if he lived long enough, he’d eventually have children, because that was what adults did. The time before his parents died was foggy at best, so it was hard to guess at his childhood dreams; but as far back as he could remember, to little Anthony Lockwood, the options for adults were either dad or DEPRAC agent, probably, and the latter sounded terribly boring. But that was the future, and before he was ten, the future had let him down too many times to be trusted, so it didn’t bear thinking about in much detail. And then came Lucy. And somewhere along the way, even when she was still Lucy Carlyle, the vision had crystallized. Not so much the when, but the whether. And now that hazy someday was here, and Lockwood was maybe forgetting a little how to breathe.

George-centric babyfic: This one's a little tricky only because I originally started it before I had any intention of writing the first pregnancy fic, and there's a good bit of information (mainly about our faves' futures, but also about life and culture during the Problem) I was trying to convey that makes more sense there than here. In actuality I think this will be a good thing: this fic was turning into a lot of infodumping and needs to find its own identity instead. But it's going to take some rewrites, and, well. Redoing things is never my favorite. But I'm very attached to this fic; it plays a lot on George and Lucy's friendship, which is always one of my favorite things to write, and it's also sort of the foundation of the Restore the Years 'verse, in that I kept daydreaming this scene and invented seven Lockwood children to justify it and started establishing headcanons and then went, hmm, maybe I should actually flesh out how we got here. 20+ works later...

Right, so. This one does feed quite a bit off of that post that's like, we all know George lives with Lucy and Lockwood until at least their third child (this is #4), and Lockwood gets all sad puppy eyes when he says he's moving out and Flo tries to extricate him from the Lockwood commune, etc etc. My take on that:

“It’s not about that, Lockwood. You know I love Ivy, and the twins, even if I am convinced they conspired to steal all my beakers last week.” “They’re all of eight months old, George, they’re not conspiring on anything,” I said, punctuating my statement with a hefty eyeroll. “Their worst crime is mouthing salt bombs. That, or using those fancy new teeth to bite their sister.” “Nonetheless, my point stands that it’s not about the kids. As I was saying, Flo’s finally getting less antsy indoors, and I think it’s high time we started our lives together properly.” Lockwood frowned. “Now, don’t feel like you need to rush into anything—” George snorted. “Oh, yes, moving in together two years into marriage, that’s really a scandalously condensed timeline.”

Laundry and taxes: Still in the planning stage. This is the Locklyle proposal from Lockwood's POV (Lucy's POV being Where O Grave). Lockwood buys the ring (as we saw in Here's a Safe Place to Lay Your Heart Down), and then takes to carrying it with him everywhere as he tries to figure out the perfect way to propose. Everything he comes up with either doesn't suit Lucy, doesn't work out, or gets vetoed by Kipps. Eventually he's just doing laundry in the basement with Lucy and can't wait another second, and pulls out the ring from his pocket. My nickname for the story comes from that quote from Everything Everywhere All at Once (which I really need to actually watch!) about, like, "I would have liked just doing laundry and taxes with you," and my fondness for the way accepting a mundane life together is actually a really important part of the development of Lockwood's romance with Lucy, and the way the necklace of devotion symbolizes all that.

Torture but married: Basically the Winkman interrogation scene but what if they were married. I actually haven't fully decided who's in which role in this scene, although they both get beat up, so I'll be happy either way, lol. Lockwood and Lucy are doing some undercover investigation work related to their mission on the Other Side, and one of them (probably Lockwood) gets captured and mid-interrogation, the other (probably Lucy) intervenes to rescue him, also gets whammied a little in the process, there's lots of worry for each other, and the comfort and wound tending we were denied in the show episode. Also there's a line in there where he's pleading for his captors to let him go and he's like, "I have a wife and child and child at home, please," and because the entire point of this fic was for me to get to write a "that's my wife!" scene for Lockwood, eventually he gets to go, "yeah, actually that's my wife who's currently making problems for you, the baby's at home with the nanny though" and then they get to cuddle Ivy when they get home because I never got over that scene in The Peacekeeper Wars of a bloodied, nearly dead John cradling his newborn son with Aeryn looking on.

#personal #writer probs: fanfic edition #lockwood & co

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greenerteacups · 10 months ago

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Hi! I made this account just so I could interact with you like this and tell you that your writing got me back out of a reading slump! Should you ever choose to author and publish a book please let me know, I will be the first to pick it up at the nearest bookstore available. I'm very excited to see where you take us in the fifth installment of your rewrite for this series! And quick question, which Hogwarts house do you align yourself with? ∼ Cheers and much love from an anonymous Hufflepuff

You're so incredibly sweet, thank you for warming my heart on a very cold day. Hearing someone say 'I would pay for your work' is kind of the highest compliment a fanfic author can receive. In the meantime, it's my honor to give you something that you can enjoy for free!

I waffle on the House question, since my view on Sorting is very contextual and volitional. Like, Sorting happens when you're eleven, right after you're boated up to the castle in this big stinking display of magical grandeur that's probably shit-slapping levels of scary, and then you get stood up in front of every peer you have and asked to decide what you want your place in that universe to be. That makes for some panicky, spur-of-the-moment decision-making! No wonder a lot of pureblood kids default to the House their parents picked! No wonder Harry ends up Gryffindor basically by default after blurting "not Slytherin" (which is the Hat's first suggestion — remember that the first two things Harry wants to do when he finds out he's a wizard are (1) jinx Dudley (avenge himself) and (2) buy a pure golden cauldron (status symbol). Canon!FirstYear!Harry is like, probably a Slytherin by temperament, being a neglected eleven-year-old child who's almost violently desperate for safety and approval and love, but that's okay, because being in Gryffindor turns him into one. Ron Weasley, in particular, turns him into one, but that's too much for me to get into right now.) Obviously, this all informs a lot of how I write character and socialization in Lionheart. House isn't destiny, it's culture! I could go on.

So like, if you sorted me right now? Gryffindor. Because I think bravery is the most important value in my life, it's what reminds me to be kind and patient and thoughtful, because it takes bravery to do those things in a world that is, frankly, much easier to navigate if you shut yourself off to others' feelings and ideas. But it's also a much worse world. That doesn't mean I'm not ambitious or curious or loyal, it just means that bravery is the value I consciously try to practice. But if you Sorted me at eleven, I'd probably get Slytherin, because I was — without doing The Backstory of it all — not the most jazzed-to-be-alive child, and I really, badly, desperately wanted to GTFO of my hometown and like — I dunno, succeed so hard it retroactively justified every time I was ever lonely? Somehow?? Details of that plan were always a bit unclear. But general "I am going to get a good grade in Life, something that is reasonable to want and possible to achieve" type vibes. Horrendous. Point being, I'd have likely asked for the House I identified with at eleven — Slytherin — because I considered "ambition" the most important virtue of my (again: eleven-year-old) life so far. (This is assuming that I don't run into a Hermione- or Ron-type character who warns me away from all the pureblood/classist nastiness; if that happened, I'd probably end up in Ravenclaw.)

I have no idea whether the Hat would have agreed with me. In canon, we never see it actually veto a choice, only grant requests. Which makes me wonder — if someone asked for a House that they were really, profoundly ill-suited for (as I think some of the canonical Slytherins might have done), what would it do?

#footnote to the last paragraph that I find fun is that lionheart!draco doesn't initially ask the hat for Slytherin #he's so carried off in the assumption that he'll end up there he doesn't bother to ask #but this is draco's problem #he splits up all goods into “things i deserve” and “things i don't deserve”#so as a kid it doesn't occur to him that he doesn't “deserve” to be in slytherin #and that the hat wouldn't as such immediately acknowledge that fact #which of course. prevents him from actually. yknow. asking for it.#blessed little idiot. see? do you see how asking nicely could have improved your life??#another possible subtitle for LH tbh.#greenteacup asks

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scoobydoodean · 1 year ago

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I think there's also something to be said about the way Sam very loudly (at least at first) believed he did not deserve anything bad that had happened to him. All that pain should've been someone else's. But dean doesn't stop believing he deserves it, the pain and abuse. I think that really speaks to samgirls.

So the problem I have trying to respond to this ask (which I believe was prompted by this) is that you are completely correct--including when you say "there is something to be said" about it without getting into the details of what can be said about it... because yeah there is most certainly 100% something to be said about it... but what is the something??? It's a lot of different things, I think.

100%—as a general rule, Sam externalizes negative feelings about himself and Dean internalizes negative feelings about himself.

Dean tends to internalize things like blame and shame and guilt and failure (even for things that weren't his fault) because when he was a child, he was held responsible for things there should have been no reasonable expectation that he could handle, but he was blamed for those things anyway. So Dean, the parentified one, blames himself for things into adulthood—both when it makes sense and when it very much doesn't make sense that something was his fault. The most extreme example is Dean rewriting what happened with Cas at the Purgatory portal to make it his fault Cas didn't get out.

Sam on the other hand, has a childhood characterized by silence that he didn't understand the reason for, and so he looked for reasons, and he typically finds reasons external to himself. The fact that demonic forces are at work in his life makes it very easy for Sam to externalize his negative emotions as someone else's fault or someone else's feelings altogether, and then Sam can verbally and physically battle his negative emotions, externalized on someone or something else (this also, btw, lends to the entire "autonomy" thing in my mind).

Relating this to Sam and Dean, it sets them up in a vicious cycle where Sam can externalize his negative emotions as either Dean's feelings or Dean's fault, and Dean will rarely fight back. He will usually remain silent or absorb blame.

Examples:

Sam suggesting they have no leads on John/the case because Dean isn't looking hard enough, when Dean found their only leads so far and Sam has found zero (1.02, 1.03, 1.16).

Sam is mad at John for refusing to speak to them and takes all of it out on Dean (1.10).

Sam blaming Dean for Sam's obsession with revenge against Yellow Eyes (1.21).

Sam is struggling with John's death and begins policing how Dean grieves and pestering him to "open up" (2.02)

Sam getting furious and shoving Dean in 5.02 because Dean doesn't trust him, when Sam doesn't even trust himself, and the lack of trust between them is Sam's fault.

Sam saying it's partially Dean's fault that Sam drank demon blood (5.05).

Sam not trusting himself to complete the trials in season 8 and projecting those fears on Dean and attacking Dean for not trusting him... when Dean does actually trust him and also if he didn't, it would be Sam's fault.

It's Dean's fault that Sam didn't close the gates of hell.

Releasing The Darkness through the Book of the Damned, a book Dean specifically said not to use and Sam used behind Dean's back, is on both of them from Sam's perspective.

Relating this back to fandom, we have

Media literacy issues—anything Sam says is the truth. If Sam is saying out loud that x is not his fault and y is actually Dean's fault, and the people in his life are enabling Sam's narrative, some fans will just assume he's right.

(Relating back to the original post) A sort of disturbing commentary on what kind of "victims" deancrit samgirls find worthy of sympathy, and what kind of victims they don't find worthy of sympathy.

#mail #projecting displaced aggression and scapegoating in spn #dont feed the stans after midnight #spn revisionisms #1.02 #1.03 #1.16 #1.10 #1.21 #2.02 #5.02 #5.05 #season 1 #season 2 #season 5 #season 8 #season 9 #season 10 #parentification

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thegeminisage · 1 year ago

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star trek: the motion picture rewrite

star trek the motion picture was bad so i'm fixing it. here's how

problem #1: everybody got interesting setups and nobody got any payoffs.

problem #2: ilia and decker were just not that interesting (sorry ilia and decker) and they either needed to be more interesting or have less screen time or both.

problem #3: it took more than half the film for the enterprise to even leave earth. this seems like poor pacing, which the overall film also suffers from.

problem #4: those damn 20-minute cgi scenery sequences. enough is enough.

sorry in advance but this post won't make much sense if you haven't seen the first star trek movie, "star trek: the motion picture." i don't have the time or patience to re-explain the entire plot! the novelization also ties into this but i do explain some of that.

MAIN PLOT

it wasn't a GREAT plot but i'm keeping it mostly the same, except a few changes:

the enterprise leaves much earlier in the film. all the interpersonal drama can happen ON THE WAY to v'ger and it would make very little difference to the main script and series of events, but the reminds that they're only x hours away from interception would help keep things tense and moving along. also, it would get spock in here earlier. we went a LONG time without seeing him.

the engines can still fail at the outset and get fixed by spock, but it's kind of weird that he shows up out of nowhere. i would change this to kirk leaving him messages - and spock finally answering at the exact right moment (more on this in spock's section)

less of those long cgi sequences, obviously. the enterprise deserves all the fanfare in the world but we do have other stuff to do. maybe we can learn a little about v'ger through the ilia-probe in bits and pieces before we get there rather than learning all at once at the end - the book sort of did that and it was better. but i think we just need to cut them to allow time for a LITTLE more interpersonal drama - the balance of interpersonal stuff to plot stuff was WAY off, even after you consider how the tos episodes are somtimes

i don't think decker should fuck the probe.

the book and movie seem to disagree on whether the ilia-probe really "is" ilia or a very convincing copy. i think we would do better to leave it open, as scifi so often is, because both answers feel slightly wrong to me

kirk just taking the ship at the end and going "ok thattaway" was heartwarming but lacks any semblance of logic. rather than beaming down to debrief, though - in case they don't let him go back up - i'd like to see him doing a power move where the required personnel for his debrief come to HIM. and THEN when the dust clears he can go "thattaway"

CHARACTER ARC: KIRK

there's a lot more on this in the book than the movie, but kirk begins this story three years post his five year journey. in the movie he's framed as "washed up" but the book sometimes implies he's "damaged." starfleet offered him the promotion to admiral to keep him out of space because his was the first ship to come back relatively intact after a five-year and they're using him as a poster boy for their pro-space propaganda. (kirk wholly disagrees with "intact"; he lost a total of 94 crew members over those five years and objects strongly to his new legendary fame.) it's worth noting that bones begged him NOT to take the promotion and he and some other officers actually RESIGNED over it.

also, for the first year back on earth, starfleet totally just SENT HIM A WOMAN? to like keep him distracted and "happy." he got honeypotted into not going back out into space. how many planets have tried to trap people by making them happy? how many times has kirk refused to stay in such a place because it leaves him nothing to strive for? and then, irony of horrific ironies, he was trapped on earth. he doesn't realize this woman was basically sent to pacify him until the very beginning of the film/book. anyway, this woman's name is lori, she's gonna matter just a little bit later. after she left, kirk got pushed into a desk job he was utterly fucking miserable in. he notes that it was the only time he ever ignored bones's advice and he suffered greatly for it.

when the "intruder" (v'ger, obvs) is revealed to be approaching earth (via brain implants? stupid, let's just switch to everyone seeing it on TV), kirk, for totally normal reasons, jumps at the chance to take the enterprise away from decker ostensibly because he's got more experience but also because (the book gets into this) he feels like he's been jerked around on a string for the last three years by the admirals (specifically he names nogura to give us a face but they were all in on it) and also that he's totally dead inside. he has to guilt trip bordering on BLACKMAIL nogura into letting him back aboard (ie bringing up the fact that he placated kirk with a woman and sweet promises instead of like...actually caring about his PTSD). we're keeping that part because it's sexy and fun.

the question the movie seems to be asking is, "is jim kirk too old and feeble to captain the enterprise again?" i would like to posit instead we go with "is jim kirk too DAMAGED to captain the enterprise again?" they really put him through the wringer in season 3 in particular and that total nervous breakdown from the romulan espionage episode was supposed to have been REAL before they changed it, so i'm sticking it in that three year timeskip instead. in the book, jim fucks up several times - can't figure out his seatbelt, gets lost, and notably fails to be able to save his former honeypot lori and his new vulcan first officer (off-brand spock) during a transport malfunction - they get rearranged horrifically and then die right in front of him. rather than frame this as jim being old and out of practice i'd like to frame it around the totally untreated PTSD of space and his five-year finally catching up to him.

the book ALSO gets into how jim feels more at home in space, how being away from it gives him physical symptoms almost like withdrawal, and how he felt he has been brought back from the dead and out of a miserable, meaningless life when stepping aboard for the first time. IMPORTANT FOR LATER.

at the same time though i think we might greatly benefit from mixed feelings - perhaps JIM HIMSELF has wondered if he was too damaged to get back out there - if, after everything, part of him wasn't a little hesitant to go back out into the unknown and risk putting himself through the kind of hell he got put through in some of those later tos episodes. maybe he wanted the captaincy to prove it to himself, yes, but also it was something he was determined to do (even though part of him was a little worried about doing it) because he thought he was the only one that COULD. there's a hidden element in this film of facing one's fears to benefit emotionally, so it would be important to squeeze something like this in, even if it's only in hints or light implications.

the ultimate answer to jim's question of course is that he ISN'T too damaged to be back out in space, especially not if spock and bones and the others are out there with him. but to get into that we have to move to...

CHARACTER ARC: DECKER AND ILIA

i'm putting these 2 together because (sorry) i don't care very much. side characters in trek are always supposed to just highlight the main characters anyway, right? again, i'm so sorry. anyway so. in the movie and especially the book, ilia is pretty constantly sexualized - deltan females and their pheromones or whatever - and she has very little personality. decker is mostly just mad (justifiably) that kirk stole his job after 18 months of prep and sad that ilia got zapped, but we feel neither of these things very strongly. the movie doesn't even MENTION decker's father killing himself in space* which is a huge waste of potential when you consider the name of the game re: kirk's arc, at least in the book, is PTSD.

*matt decker, will decker's father, is the captain from doomsday machine (consider this a spoiler warning): when a giant machine showed up and engaged in battle with his ship, the constellation, he evacuated his crew to a nearby planet and stayed behind, planning to go down with the ship. unfortunately the machine was a planet-eater, and ate the planet his crew was on, so his crew all died while he listened to them beg him for help, and he later tried to suicide bomb the machine with the enterprise and then later one of its shuttles, which tragically ended in his mostly-pointless death. kirk did at least use the idea to suicide bomb the machine with the damaged constellation and have himself beamed out just in time though, and he had the record made that matt decker died in the line of duty, omitting some of his shadier actions so as not to stain his memory or whatever.

ANYWAY, i think the only way to make decker and ilia interesting is to foil them with kirk and spock. decker is who kirk was before his five-year: smart, capable, ready to take on anything and chomping at the bit to get out there and bite off as much as he can chew and then some. also, he's emotionally distant from women because of his status as captain/his need to not be tied down so he can explore space.

ILIA on the other hand is more like spock - she has limited telepathic abilities, she is othered and sometimes sexualized by the people around her because of her VULCAN BIOLOGY sorry because of her race, and she has a passion for learning and pursuits of intellect. and also a semi-formal telepathic link with decker - they had met before, and were preparing to bond (the way a vulcan might), and then decker more or less got cold feet and left her at the altar because his own passion for being in space left him unable to commit. but she WENT AFTER HIM (important for later) and wound up as the enterprise navigator.

for decker, instead of showing kirk up once near the beginning, apologizing, and gradually learning to get along with him, i think i'd like him to be showing kirk up a lot - being subtly snide when kirk can't work his seatbelt, for example. this film has no real antagonist aside from an incomprehensible alien entity, but we could bring a little humanity to it by having decker justifiably resent not only being confronted with ilia again but also having his captaincy snatched away from him after EIGHTEEN. MONTHS. of prep. that's some serious bullshit.

but, while decker IS younger and more familiar with the enterprise's redesign, while he's had more recent space hours and suffers from none of kirk's PTSD, what he lacks is experience - this was the whole basis of kirk taking the fucking ship to begin with, and the movie as it is kind of totally invalidates that plot point. to that end, near the end of the film when they're in v'ger, i would make a bigger deal out of kirk knowing better than to perform the scan - because that's what got the klingons killed (when v'ger interpreted their scan as hostile). decker, shaken, realizes his own hasty decision would have resulted in all of them dying horrifically, and rather than kirk grudgingly respecting decker first, we get it the other way around - decker grudgingly respecting kirk, and kirk returning that respect after decker stops being an asshole. this does the job of helping the AUDIENCE respect kirk after spending so much time wondering if he was indeed too washed up and damaged to do the job, and it helps to begin to warm us up to decker too.

also, it would be fun to have decker overhear bones arguing with kirk or spock or even talking to chapel or something, to know that kirk was thought too washed up EVEN BY THE ADMIRALS (who decker does respect bc he doesn't know better yet), and then for decker to realize later kirk got jerked around - and maybe realize, once he begins to see kirk as a person instead of an obstacle, that something like that might be in his own future even if he succeeds in almost every possible way, as kirk had. we might even use this to get into decker's dad basically killing himself after losing his crew - it can go other ways than right for captains. it can also go so, so, so wrong. (this would require some exposition, though, since we can't expect everyone to have both seen the episode and remember the details.)

another moment that wasn't used to its full potential is when decker basically has to honeypot the ilia probe - this is extremely difficult on him emotionally, and kirk knows all about the perils of emotionally difficult honeypot missions (sorry that i'm linking to this twice). i think decker realizing kirk has done this same kind of thing like a zillion times and that's part of what led to his breakdown gives him respect not just for KIRK but for the position of captain itself - he would have no choice but to do this to protect 500 lives, if it were him. you don't get to tap out when you're captain. and this is good for kirk too, because in sympathizing with decker (and the horrific situation of having to honeypot the image of his dead lover) he can learn to sympathize with himself, and forgive himself for being at less than his best during his own worst moments - some of them during the five-year, some of them after, when he felt weak and without purpose. it also gives him the job of connecting the audience to decker - through him, through thinking of decker as a younger version of him, we can forgive decker for being an asshole earlier and sympathize with his pain. and he becomes someone we root for.

as for ilia - i think she should have gotten to yell at decker rather than passively act like he wasn't even there and hide her pain. her pain at being left behind and betrayed and having to find her own way could mirror spock's (more on this in a sec) but it could also mirror v'ger and its abandonment issues, even though she was abandoned by a boyfriend and not god. there's only so much you can do with truly misogynistic writing but she could've been likable!! her sitch and spock's are the same and she gets to complain while he refuses! even one iota of a personality would have helped so much.

ALSO, on that point, at least one conversation between her and spock would have done a lot to make her more interesting too, because then she would be adjacent to him. spock, too, left his home planet to chase after a space captain he was in um a relationship with, and that bit of kinship ("your answers are not here") could lead to a bonding moment - i think spock would respect what she's doing and that would lend her a lot of credit in the eyes of the audience. much like v'ger, much like spock, ilia has left her home to find out who she is, and part of that answer lies within emotion, within the people she loves: in this case, decker. i would also, if we HAVE to fridge her (DO WE?? more on this in the ending section), choose to have her take a blow meant for decker - her last act being one of love, because the film IS ultimately about love's importance, even in spite of all the pain it also causes (see: decker in his grief).

which leads us to...

CHARACTER ARC: BONES

we have to have a brief interlude here for bones. unfortunately, bones in this movie is little more than an extremely loveable afterthought. while fixing his ENTIRE deal is out of the scope of this tumblr post, what i WOULD do is give him more screentime by having both his AND spock's lives upended by the same event: kirk, the Main Character(tm), choosing to take the admiral stripes and "abandon" them.

i think theres enough evidence in tos to argue the case that bones places a lot of importance on jim and spock's lives - he claims to hate space, but he never resigns, and he finds meaning in taking care of them, even if (to my own interpretation), he can sometimes feel like a third wheel to their legendary "friendship" (so legendary that it's historically important both in-universe and in real life). when kirk agrees to "retire" and let starfleet make him their poster boy because he has PTSD and burnout, bones CANONICALLY objects to what starfleet is trying to do to him so strongly that he literally resigns. again, kirk notes in the book that "retiring" is the only time he ever ignored bones's advice and he came regret it deeply. so kirk needs bones back - in the book, he says outright he needs bones back because he, gaslit, cannot trust himself to be making solid calls emotionally, and he wants bones to call him out if he steps out of line.

for fun, i think bones should be a little more pissed about being "drafted" and like genuinely grumpy rather than fond and gruff - at least, until kirk apologizes. he tells bones all about being yanked around by the admirals and being honeypotted and how much he regretted not listening to his advice...and the gaslighting, not bones's medical expertise, is why kirk feels he needs bones now - why all of earth needs him, because this is a mission to save the entire planet. i think bones LOVES to be needed and especially by jim and/or spock, and he of course has a natural desire to caretake, so after the apology he could soften up to "gruff." he found meaning in what he was doing on earth, but he finds meaning in this too, and kirk telling him that of COURSE he can leave if he wants solidifies his decision to stay, even at the end of the film when the immediate threat has passed. put simply: he loves kirk and spock, and, like them, he wants the three of them to stay together, even though they previously broke his heart.

i think also that once spock comes aboard this gives bones a second job, which is to poke holes in spock's outward unemotional demeanor, which he genuinely is doing from a place of love (since it was bones who said the release of emotions is healthy). instead of standing around and being a lovable and nostalgic set piece, this would give him an actual purpose and an arc, even if his arc (healing spock via negging, healing jim via not gaslighting people) is holding up the other characters.

and speaking of spock...

CHARACTER ARC: SPOCK

post five-year, spock goes back to vulcan to undergo the kolinahr, a ritual meant to purge all remaining emotion from vulcans. he does this because he detests his human half and the many weaknesses and challenges it brings him etc etc but i also would like it if he does this because kirk retires - he has no logical, ready-made excuse to be around kirk and bones anymore, and just like kirk, he truly felt at home on the enterprise, where people valued him for his skill and what he could do rather than what he was (or wasn't). (this sentiment from spock is semi-canonical - it's in william shatner's tarsus iv novel, collision course.) kirk and bones are both an important part of his support system and it is crumbling without any way to save it - of COURSE he chooses not to feel emotion rather than face that pain. every human being ever has wished at some point or another they could numb themselves rather than hurt, and spock is half human, too. (that said, i would also not complain if kohlinahr was spock's way to escape the trauma of what the five-year did to HIM, making him feel emotions differently than what he believed was acceptable, changing him fundamentally as a person, and kirk only agreed to resign because space wasn't worth it without spock aka because he got dumped, but this is a minor detail.)

while on vulcan, kirk, equally adrift, sends him messages (this does admittedly make more sense if kirk only resigned because spock did) - but spock is potentially kind of mad at him (if kirk resigned first) and also trying not to feel anything, so he ignores those and goes out into the desert to get rid of all his gross icky feelings. when the masters read his mind and see that jim accidentally contacted him telepathically (which...girl WHAT was that all about did they bond fr during amok time) and that "his answer is not here," he reads or listens to all the messages at once (maybe including the deleted one spock prime had from aos...ouch), gets emotional (or resists, but it's a near thing), and realizes that if he can't purge kirk from his mind he has to at least find out why. the last message can be about the intruder (v'ger) and their fucked up engines, spock can feel reluctant concern and race to the rescue.

spock is initially very very cold to his old shipmates because he is trying to hold onto his logic and not allow the emotion back in his mind, but absolutely nobody is having this. like in the movie, kirk and bones drag him away to the lounge to interrogate him (he should admit to feeling kirk telepathically here just as he did in the book - i don't know that i'd go into the whole bond business in this movie because that's just writing fanfiction and is also a lot of exposition but i would never deny fanfic writers their fodder).

later, after talking with ilia, who did a brave thing (in spock's eyes, anyway, because he is terrified of what HE'S doing) by chasing down her man to give him an earful, spock is troubled, which prompts bones to start going IS THAT AN EMOTION I SEE MR SPOCK? (and make him more troubled). i think spock grieves ilia's death in his own way because of how much like him she is, or was. all of this culminates in his choice to attempt to mind-meld with v'ger, in the end - if he isn't a human and isn't a vulcan, WHAT is he? if he can't live with the emotion and he can't purge it, what is he supposed to do? if he dies in the mindmeld so be it, but at least he will have been useful - iirc, i think it was roddenberry or leonard nimoy who said that was always a primary motivation of his.

of course, AFTER the mindmeld, he does indeed realize that logic is pointless without emotion, and that he's been adrift not BECAUSE of his emotions but because of his refusal to deal with them and his refusal to feel. so spock, too, will decide to stay at the end of the film.

side bar on the scene where spock cries for v'ger: it's kind of dumb because v'ger is so unknowable. i think spock crying could be a bigger deal - maybe with happiness, as he holds jim's hand, or maybe when he thinks they're all gonna die (kirk says when he sees spock crying "it's not for us" but like what if it was though). i'd prefer him to cry after he finishes laughing post mindmeld of course but either instance could work.

and finally...

THE ENDING

i don't mind the ending in its plot - that v'ger really was just looking for its creator, as a child looks for its parent - but i really want the question of whether or not the probe IS ILIA to remain open. if you make an exact copy of a person that truly believes it is the original, is it? if it's indistinguishable from who ilia used to be even to itself, is it ilia? i like leaving this open because i DON'T like fridging her, but i also think it stretches believability to have this machine magically extract a consciousness and put it in a robot when we had a whole episode of s1 revolve around this exact same plot twist (is chapel's now-android fiance really still her fiance just because he thinks he is?)

it should be spock's idea to have a human join with v'ger - it was the joining with humans that ultimately led to HIS feeling emotions he was unable to ignore, which ultimately led to his understanding and acceptance of emotion and its value in general. spock would see the ilia probe as still being ilia, but in distress, as he was when he came aboard the enterprise, as v'ger is now. and he knows what fixed him (holding jim's hand lol sorry i mean accepting his emotions) and what would fix her.

and then of course decker does join with her - volunteers, insists even. i think he takes the chance on optimism and hope - something kirk lost along the way due to various traumas - but also because this film is about the importance of love, and he can't bear to live without his, even in facsimile. it's partially a sacrifice too though - decker's life and body as he knows it in exchange for the earth's safety - because that's what kirk would have done, what he HAS done. he did learn from kirk after all.

and kirk learns from him too - decker, who by now will know about the awful years the brass put kirk through prior to the start of the film, would tell kirk to give 'em hell, like it's something that can actually be done, because at his heart he's an optimist, and that's something kirk sorely needs emotionally at this low point in his life. a very gen-z-saving0the-millennials moment. (apologies to both gen z and millennials.)

so after the dust has settled, kirk, who has just saved earth, can basically ask for anything he wants, and what he wants is not to get sent out to pasture again. so that leads into him refusing to leave the ship and letting the admirals and everyone else who wants to debrief him come to HIM instead of him going down - he finally has back what he needed, which was simply control and agency over his own life, and his loved ones - since spock and bones decided to stay aboard. i would have liked some challenging action moment prior to the ending with the ilia-probe and decker included, a moment to highlight that kirk has still got it (kind of like his badass moment in the deadly years where he saves the ship in .2 seconds once they cure his dementia). but insisting that they see v'ger directly and not deal with its probe is okay too.

FINALLY, after we've established that kirk is In Control again and not just like, stealing a starship, we can do his scene where he begins a new five-year mission, and when directing sulu, says, "out there - thattaway."

THEMES

HOPEFULLY this ties together the various themes and foils in everybody's arc - the main ones being the importance of dealing with emotions, even painful ones, the importance of love, and the question "who am i?" - the theme of seeking answers

kirk wants to know who he is - is he still a starship captain who braved the unknown and returned alive? he tried to numb himself (or rather starfleet tried to numb him) after his five-year mission with a woman and a desk job and it didn't help - he had to risk getting back out there to do himself any good at all.

spock asks if he is a vulcan or a human, and seeks to answer the question by purging emotion, but must answer it by accepting the emotion instead - and he learns this from v'ger, who is asking the same question and cannot answer it without emotion anymore than spock could. spock is and always will be both vulcan AND human and no amount of resistance on his part can change that.

bones feels adrift without loved ones to take care of - who is HE if kirk won't even listen to his advice not to "retire" - and of course he is someone who takes care of others. which is a little sad because it's not a deeper arc, but it sort of rhymes with his whole deal in tos and there ARE five other movies. there's also a little bit in there about being willing to try again after your heart's been broken, which is also something kirk and spock are struggling with, to have the trio's arc rhyming with each other.

decker asking who he is - is he a real captain or a psycho case like his dad and kirk, is he someone who could have been ilia's husband - and ilia wondering if she is someone who could have been his wife, and later the PROBE wondering if it's truly ilia or not. MORE questions that have to be answered by overcoming fear of emotional pain - decker takes the chance and joins with her to answer both his own question, and the probe's - and, of course, v'ger's.

THIS CONCLUDES. my movie rewrite. i am so glad to have gotten it off my chest, which is the main reason i wrote it, but i don't think it's terribly popular...so if you actually read this whole thing you're a rock star. okay BYE!!!

#liz makes stuff #liz's star trek stuff #liz's meta #star trek #star trek the motion picture #star trek: the motion picture #star trek tmp #personal #star trek blogging #WHEW. that too so long. barely finished in time. wrath of khan SOON!!!#tmp lb #tmp #st ep edits

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