#hella ass

[rymaninlimbo]

THE CHEEKS

This bug was too fucking funny omfg 😂

[ninoochat]

An ode to Barry's ass

[jinseulss]

onew | midnight sun (220528)

[salemsvlog]

Dude- Imaging fighting your whole life with the idea of god and how the catholic guilt took such a tool in your mental health that you end up in a semi-normal relationship just to find out that your girlfriend WAS A NUN.

Eddie Diaz, u might not believe that the universe is screaming at you, but it’s certainly laughing 🤣

[axl-ion]

Welcome and Merry Christmas Eve!

Today, I will talk about Wish fullfilment relationship vs. Stolitz, what is a wish fullfilment relationship and why Stolitz fails to be that even tho it's trying to be that. I've actually written this/similar rant before, but I'm choosing to rewrite it, because the original was kinda ass.

So first of all what do I mean by Wish fullfilment relationship?

It's a type of fictional relationship, where the characters are together essentially because they plan into one of the many wish fullfilment fantasy tropes, like the following list. Keep in mind that while I use the word man a lot here, it's just because these tropes are more common in romantic media targeted towards women. These tropes can actually be any gender.

An interesting man coming to take you out of the mundane.

A rich man falling in love with a poor woman.

A vampire falling in love with the reader/protagonist.

A high ranking executive falling for the new hire.

The mafia boss showering the waitress with gifts and love.

All the "I got bought by 1D" stories

Two hot men fighting for the "just an average girl" protagonist

These are the common tropes and you can already see in romance media that serves to fulfil some sort of fantasy the reader has or may have. That's their purpose. I don't think any of you want these to actually happen to you, except marrying a rich person, because in this economy it may be the only way to live comfortably.

Now where does Stolitz fail that fantasy?

Remember 50 Shades? Yeah? You would probably rather not, but I will bring it up since I think the dynamic is kinda similar, just with magic instead of money. Also keep in mind I'll go with what I heard about the 50 Shades, because I haven't actually read it, since it's not my cup of tea.

The book really badly portrays BDSM relationships, but also it has a hot attractive, rich man love interest and that's kinda Stolas. Is there something wrong with a rich person getting together with someone poor? Not inherently, yes, the class difference is real, but again, nothing actually wrong with that.

Where both materials fail is that the rich love interest of status the audience is supposed to yearn for is a complete asshole. And in Stolas's case, it would have been OK, IF HE HAD REMAINED A VILLAIN AND YOU WERE TO ROOT FOR BLITZØ TO BREAK UP WITH HIM.

Like... This relationship is a toxic cesspool just like 50 Shades and Twilight. And that's partially because it tries to put in the kinda yaoi, kinda just a general trope of two people who continually are bad ti eachother but "Are actually in love don't worry!"

Like, Stolas makes Blitzø uncomfortable a lot.

Up until Ozzie's or their break-up episode the relationship was just... Transactional. It was just Blitzø inserting his card into the terminal and then fucking off.

Stolas embarrasses Blitzø in public.

Stolas essentially forced Blitzø into the transactional relationship.

Yes, Blitzø isn't all innocent in this, it's just that what Stolas did sticks out a lot more than Blitzø's actions in the relationship. Like, it should have been Stolas who did the apologising in Apology Tour kind of sticking out.

Could this ship be better?

Yes, with a little tool called "Stick to your guns, make it the most high school type fic ever."

Because this ship, doesn't work outside of wish fullfilment and that flew out the window moment the ship became serious. So just... Just make it unserious.

Cross out the actual abuse. Write is like the highschooler's first yaoi fic it's supposed to be. Have them annoy eachother, but be tame. Remove the transactional fucking.

Make this ship cringe.

Make Stolitz the "I got bought by 1D" it's supposed to be!

Denial is a river in Egypt, Helluva Boss is the most highschool type series marketing itself mature ever, lean into it!

Have Andrealphus tell Stela "Denial is s river in Egypt, your husband is gay!" GIVE STELA A LESBIAN AWAKENING ARCH AND A HOT GF, LIKE VEROSIKA!

Tldr; Stolitz is bad wish fullfilment fantasy and would be better if written like those baby author's first AO3 fic.

[cerebraljopper]

the category is: david harbour’s fat ass

[xmamafinex]

To be honest I thought it was the back flexing that was the big appeal with those pics. And you have convinced me that that isn’t fully the case 😂

It's definitely the booty.

[aesthetic-bbyg]

In the wise words of sza…

I NEEDA BIG BOY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

(w a fat ass🫢)

[trash-laurry]

Imma just leave this here while I’m at it

Follow me in ig or sum @trash_lau.rry.

[alurite-l]

I saw so many beautiful black men today maybe the universe does love me 💜

[pickleussyfever]

I didn't intend to make him that thicc "I ah tried to sneak into one of the ah....tribunal meetings to gather some information but ah unfortunately the clap of my asscheeks had alerted Salacia"

[gnollkane]

"Damn Neoptolemus what you doin out here with all this ass?" - Priam, probably

[rhythm-of-space]

I can't stop watching that tik tok mostly because of Josh's little cheeks and Jake's much bigger ones and idk what that says about me

[nothing-behindher-eyes]

[f3m4l3-g4ym3r]

T A C T I C A L B U T T C H E E K S .

SIMON GHOST RILEY FROM COD:MW2 CERTAINLY GOT HIMSELF A PAIR OF THEM GOOD OL ✨T A C T I C A L B U T T C H E E K S✨ AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT??? I MEAN LAWD HAVE M E R C Y LIKE GOD MUTHAFUCKIN D A Y U U U M M M M M M 🤯😳😩🙇‍♀️

[starii-void]

going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with

-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)

-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)

-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)

-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)

-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)

-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)

-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)

-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran

-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy

-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre

-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever