#should i even be talking about this here? i dunno!!
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The loud ring of the school bell echoed through the hallway, and Leo instinctively covered his ears, wincing at the sound. He was used to it by now, but that didn’t make it any less unpleasant. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the new kid—Jason—doing the exact same thing, though his expression was different. He looked genuinely startled, his face tightening as if the noise had caught him completely off guard.
Leo watched him for a moment, curious. Guess I’m not the only one who hates that thing, he thought to himself.
Meanwhile, Piper was busy packing up her books and notebooks, neatly sliding them into her bag like the organized machine she was. She glanced over at Leo. “Earth to Leo? Our next class.”
Leo gave her a half-smile, still distracted. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”
The two of them walked to their english class together, joining the crowd of kids heading in the same direction. When they entered the room, the teacher—Mr. Hermes—was already at the front, adjusting a stack of papers. He was this skinny guy with super messy hair and a beard that looked like he just forgot to shave. He always kinda looked like he just rolled out of bed, but he had this cool vibe about him, the kind that made even boring stuff seem kinda fun.
Leo liked Mr. Hermes. He always had a joke or a story up his sleeve, and he wasn’t afraid to bend the rules a little bit if it meant making class more fun.
“Alright, everyone, settle down!” Hermes called out, clapping his hands. “We’ve got something a little different today. I’m giving you an activity to work on in groups of three.”
The class perked up slightly at that. Group activities were always better than sitting through a lecture.
Mr. Hermes continued, waving a paper in the air. “Here’s how it’s gonna work. I’ll hand out the instructions, and you’ll work with your group to come up with some creative answers. You’ll have until the end of class, so don’t waste time deciding on your trios.” He paused, grinning. “And yes, you can pick your own groups.”
The room erupted into chatter as everyone started looking around, deciding who they wanted to team up with.
Piper tilted her head, clearly already thinking about their group. “So, who should we—”
“I wanna team up with the new kid!” Leo blurted out, cutting Piper off. He pointed right at the blonde boy sitting in the back, all quiet like he was trying not to be noticed. Leo didn’t really know why, but something about him just made Leo want to drag him into their group. Maybe it was because he looked so... out of place. Or maybe Leo just thought it’d be fun to see what his deal was.
Piper blinked at him. “Him? Why?”
Leo shrugged, grinning. “I dunno, I just wanna talk to him. He looks kinda cool. And, y’know,” he added with a cheeky glint in his eye, “he probably needs help making friends or something.”
Piper rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. “Fine. But don’t scare him off, okay?”
Leo ignored her and turned to Jason, waving him over. “Hey, Jake! Wanna join our group?” he called out, loud enough for half the class to hear.
Jason’s head shot up, his eyes widening slightly as he looked at Leo, then Piper, then back at Leo again. For a moment, he hesitated, like he wasn’t sure if Leo was serious. But then, with a small, uncertain nod, he grabbed his notebook and slowly made his way over to their table.
Leo beamed. “Cool! You’re with us now. I’m Leo, by the way. And this is Piper. Don’t worry, we’re pretty awesome.”
Jason gave a small smile, his voice quiet but polite. “Thanks. I’m Jason, actually.”
“Yeah, I know,” Leo said, leaning back in his chair. “Mrs. Roberts introduced you, remember?”
Jason shifted awkwardly, clutching his notebook to his chest. “Um, yes,” he said softly. “You called me Jake.”
Leo blinked, then let out a chuckle. “Did I? Oops, my bad. Jason, Jake, same thing, right?”
Piper rolled her eyes, giving Leo a playful nudge. “No, it’s not the same thing, genius. Maybe try listening for once.”
Leo shrugged and Piper let out a sigh. “Well, welcome to the group, Jason. Let’s see what Mr. Hermes has in store for us.”
Leo leaned forward, his excitement bubbling over. “Don’t worry, dude. We’ve got this. With me on your team, there’s no way we can lose.”
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friend told another friend a joke, lunchroom was too loud for me to hear it but other friend was suddenly dying of laughter. i asked what the joke was cuz i didn't hear it and my friend said "oh no, you won't like it. You're ace. You don't like sex"
and honestly i'm a bit devastated!!!
#sigh. Did i just doom myself to the 'doesn't like sex' person of the friend group just cuz i said i'm ace.#brother we've shared countless sex jokes before and we were giggling like immature little maniacs. just cause i realized i'm ace doesn't#mean that i'm some puritan now!! tell me the fucken joke dumbass /affectionate#hrghfhfgg#should i even be talking about this here? i dunno!!#i'll delete this later. whatever.#brighton yaps
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And I just have to tell you that I
Love you so much these days,
#homestuck#dirk strider#bgd#brain ghost dirk#jake english#dirkjake#hs2#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck epilogues#candy epilogue#admin draws#fanart#i cant even pretend im normal about my own art or this song im sorry#im tryna think of something to say abour this and i keep thinking about the lyrics and i GRGRHHHHFHFJG#i dunno man. i love plastic beach. i cant say anything here that is not gallbladder-achingly cheesy#but just. i dont know.#jake keeping a little bit of dirk in his heart all those years. even if bgd is 'all' jake hes still in the memory he carries#when i listen i find myself stuck between which singer/verse should be jake and which should be dirk. but the answer is simple#theyre both both.#jake thinks hes the one singing abour getting abandoned. but really hes the one losing himself in the substance#and dirk. dirk is the one watching him lose himself. but since hes just a part of jake. yeah.#'i have to tell you that i love you so much these days' both as something jake is saying to dirk and what jake wishes dirk was there to say#hes so alone in that reality. even if he might not admit and go so far as to imagine dirk saying it. its something that deep down#he aches to hear. the man who has deemed himself unlovable and incapable of love. he still wants to hear it despite himself#he still wants to say it despite nnot being able to bring himself to even process that emotion#sigh. see what happens. i cant talk aboht it bc a single line turns intoTHIS
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people are saying he « led her on » because he did. the fact that he kissed her in the first episode set the tone for the rest of the season and if you can’t perceive the flirting I’m sorry but how?? he didn’t make anything clear he sent the craziest mixed signals in the world. there’s nothing revolutionary about claiming that Martha was being pushy toward someone who was clearly not interested it’s 1) weird to claim in what it suggests about her 2) factually not true.
I wasn’t gonna respond to this at first because the top half of this ask is pretty much just individual interpretation and I don’t really care about it. Like, no, to me, the Doctor doesn’t seem especially flirty towards Martha. He’s just sort of Like That. That’s his damage, you know, Mr. I need to traumadump on anyone who tolerates being around me for more than five minutes. Mr. If I don’t develop an intensely codependent emotional bond with the companion I have currently I’ll die. It doesn’t read to me as him trying to lead her on because that bit’s honest, and he does it with damn near every companion he’s ever had.
And if nothing else, because we do see Ten when he tries to flirt intentionally and he’s a fuckin dork about it. Kind of guy who looked up romance in the dictionary and took notes. Kinda guy who draws diagrams to maximize kissing potential. It would have been obvious even to me (<- romance-blind as all fuck) if he was flirting with Martha on purpose because he’s not smooth at all; he flirts like he’s gotten lines in a play and he’s super excited to be the main star.
But anyway, as I was saying, that’s just how I see it. And if you see it different, no skin off my back, I just disagree.
But I take umbrage with you putting words in my mouth. I never said Martha was pushy towards him. Because yeah, she’s not. If I implied that she was, then it was a result of poor phrasing on my part. Martha’s not at fault for what she feels, for wanting there to come something of it. No more at fault than the Doctor is for not returning those feelings. It’s a bit weird that you’re assuming that I think one of them has to be the bad guy here when that was the opposite of what I was saying. My point was: When it comes to their romantic subtext of their relationship, it’s weird to pretend like either of them are to blame for them not being in a relationship at the end of s3, and even weirder to assert that as part of why Martha supposedly wouldn’t like the Doctor afterwards when they’re. friends. they continue to be friends into s4.
Martha’s not pushy. She has a crush on her friend. It happens. He doesn’t return it. This also happens. Both of these facts are pushed to the extreme because he’s a time-traveling alien with poor emotional skills and she’s put herself in the position of needing to help him from minute one of meeting each other. That’s why it’s fun to watch, because the Doctor is both so open and so unavailable in turns, because Martha’s feelings for him grow and change as she knows more about her Doctor until she decides to step back.
I don’t know, man. You seem to be coming at this as if one of them has to be The Problem™️. I don’t think either of them is, not so definitively. I think boiling their relationship down to that is reductive and an insult to the way they both grow over s3, to Martha’s choice to continue to be his friend while also establishing her own boundaries, to the fact that the Doctor is able to let her go without immediately trying to kill himself afterwards when she’s not there to catch him.
#the thing about the doctor is that if you want to tell me that he’s Extra Special Flirty With This Companion.#i dunno. feels like something that requires a lot of proof lmao. because the doctor is a freak who latches onto people like a barnacle and#gets way too invested way too quick and holds on like he’ll die if he even thinks of letting go. he’s just like that. he’s just like that.#he’s like that with rose he’s like that with martha he’s like that with donna amy clara bill!!!! these relationships are all different but#the common core is that the doctor is a freak! the doctor clings on too tight!!! the doctor will fuck you up he loves you so much!!!#idk! is it more leading on for the doctor to kiss martha to pull off a plan than it is for him to reshape amy’s life around him on accident#and then show up when she’s an adult to finally whisk her away. or to let clara do emotional infidelity with him for months while#insisting that he’s not her boyfriend. i don’t think ever he is. i think he’s just like gravity. mavity. you’re gonna orbit him because he’s#something cosmic and unknowable. and he’s also your best friend. he’s always too much and too tangible all at once.#am i making any sense here.#ask#martha jones#the doctor#tenth doctor#doctor who#idk man its like 7 in the morning where i am im not awake enough to talk martha/ten semantics. personally i think they should have made out#on screen even more without ever clarifying the nature of their relationship so that they had even weirder and more complicated feelings#about each other.
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made the mistake of reading through the political discussions on my big family groupchat that I usually keep muted. you must never do such a thing.
#like i knew that a lot of them are conservatives or republicans or whatever but man. even the ones who lean left are still well. mormon.#ive been really back and forth on whether or not i should come out to them but tbh. i have started to lean more toward Not.#when i came out as a nonbinary lesbian they all collectively smiled and nodded and then swept it under the rug never to be seen again#and i let them do it bc i was too afraid to try and stand up for myself. and i was conditioned not to also.#but me being trans is a lot harder to ignore. both bc im fucking tired of being treated like a rug and bc i hope to get a legal name change#and surgery and all that good shit.#but i really dont know how to go about doing all that without having to come out Somehow.#i guess i could always just. cut contact or something. but idk im reluctant to do that bc i still rely on my dad for money/insurance/etc#i dunno.#i wouldnt want to cut off my siblings but i dont know if i want to come out to them either.#idk.#im just fucking scared man. like i knew that for the most part my familys politics suck donkey nuts#but it was just really insane reading thru the chat bc even the ones who i had always thought were Safer are. well. not.#theres only 2 people in my family i fully trust and would actually love to come out to and one of them is my gay uncle (<3)#and the other is my aunt who is the ONLY. other person in my ENTIRE extended family. who has left the church.#i barely see her too bc for obvious reasons she dont hang around much. lmao#but idk. im rambling and melancholic its 1130 pm#my problem here is that there are members of my family i do want to come out to#but thatll very quickly lead to Everyone knowing. and i know im not ready for that.#hrhrggh.#maybe ill come out to my brother next time we talk. as a sort of test run.#im already a lot braver than i used to be and hopefully maybe someday ill be brave enough to come out#and then immediately fuck off into the sunset with my friends <3#sigh.#if im still wanting to come out to my brother by tomorrow when im of sound mind then i think i will.#we'll see how i feel after i sleep. lmao.#winter speaks#personal#we're entering Introspective Hours here at scattered winter dot com
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one thing I dislike is the sophomoric idea that society should, naturally, move towards a completely genderless model. I get where it's coming from, but it assumes an impossible level of homogeneity rather than accepting that - in the infinity of genders that DO and WILL exist - there are some which will take familiar forms and patterns and names.
Like, look, I don't live in the androgynous future ze're imaging. But if I did I would still feel alienated and out-of-place in a slightly different way from the way I felt growing up under gendered capitalism. Because I'm not genderless, and I know damn well that I'd still feel some calling to change... something about myself. Even without words like "woman" or "witch."
It's a nice dream. it might be comforting to some. But it seems like an airy fantasy to me, and not one I can see myself living in.
Obviously I agree that the barriers between genders need to be broken down. Obviously I don't think the traditional gender roles as our society sells them to us are working. But the future I see has more kinds of people and not less.
#random musings#this came up in a zine i read the other night#i mean obviously i won't live to see the hypothetical gender-free future but#i dunno it didn't work out so well in tengoku daimakyou#just trying to keep the kids ignorant of concepts like sex and gender#i can't imagine that if humans stay essentially the same type of creature (they're extremely varied!!!) they'll be able to abandon this ide#gender is a fuck#if it's something that's imposed on you from without#but for some folks#gender is something you can't give up no matter what#not a rational or a logical thing but something deeply tied to identity in a way that can't be cleanly separated#this fantasy then simply supposes that these people are wrong and would naturally fall in line if society simply “forgot” about gender#which i do not agree with. i think new genders will still crop up even if the public is ignorant of the whole concept#even without words or images or examples to express it the idea will come back#unless humans become a very very different type of creature#but that's neither here nor there - we're still talking about human society#so what - should these folks just suffer silently in a different type of society? seems a bit counterintuitive#(personally i'm of the opinion that there are at least as many genders as there are people - but probably more)
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Where the hell do people find good discord servers
#maybe there is no such thing...#if anyone has one thatd be nice. preferably a smaller server#text post#shit post#just found out a server we sorta mainly talked in is 11+. and i feel realll weird about it and dunno how to bring that up so trying to find#other servers#i dont think it even mentioned that it was. from memory#i don't wanna sound like a nerd but. it breaks tos#....and also 11 yr olds should not be encouraged onto discord. sorry.#but alas im way to nervous to start conflict accidentally somehow#i dont know if anyone on that server (now anyway) follows me here. welp
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Some article that literally tried to claim "ackshually mass bombing consumer electronics in a foreign country, causing mass injury and fear isnt terorism 🤓🤓🤓"
From Soul Eater post chapter 26
#soul eater post#soul eater#crona gorgon#yeah guess israel would be justified to drop a nuke on germany cause there are neo-nazis there so killing them would make it fighting teror#i dunno it just fucked like im not american and I dont care about your elections but even if I do why should i when you#will just have zionists in control either way like i dont give a shit that trump is orange but i do care that he is willing to bomb iran an#so is the other hoe#and if you are getting angry or think this is cringe this is way i “dont talk politics” cause whats the point?#but yeah#yeah sorry for real this time last time I will say anything here cause the shame will be enough to not vent anymore on places like this#chapter 26
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#so there's this girl#and there's this conversation I had where I told Prettyboy about a coworker whose version of polyamory is#'she says she needs me back in Washington but I don't have a job there. I keep telling her to get another boyfriend while I'm out of town#just make sure he's not around when I visit so I don't have to fight anybody'#That tickled me. And the conversation ended with me getting like a third of a hall pass. I gotta call if anything happens.#Call so Prettyboy feels like he's part of my romantic life even when the romance isn't him#Which is the opposite track of the one I was giggling about okay yeah#But like my best friend here is. Super pretty. Ridiculously pretty.#And kind and works hard and takes care of the people she loves. She's always finding ways to help me.#And she's vegan and loves my cooking and that's my love language okay#I wanna make sure she eats I wanna see what happens if she's given full reigns on dominance I want I yearn#And we talk for hours about nothing but it's been weeks since I've been like one third available and I dunno how to tell her#Or if I should or if I'd be just another person in her life who wants her for what she can do for them#I think my intentions are good but it's lonely. The long distance and the seasonal work and the isolated town up in the mountains.#And maybe I just want to be held.#I know she's grey ace and a lot of the romantic relationships she's had in the past were very manipulative and not what she really wanted#Maybe that's what's pulling me in so hard like am I just insecure and want to prove myself yet again#I've always been drawn to flaky people#I wanna be the one person they show up for#This is the thing that I actually need to process in therapy and can't just lsd the anxiety away#Though that worked for most things#Take hallucinagens. Once.#I'm such a hugger but only worked up the courage to hug her a few days ago.#We've been talking (lowercase t) for months.#And I know she has her own long distance unicorn relationship back in Kentucky. I'm hoping the subject will just surface again.#And then I can say hey#I think you're really pretty
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like okay. i know this is the excusing mass murder for your fictional blorbos site. so what i’m about to say may seem strange. but there’s still SUCH a societal issue where we just… reject someone as soon as they cross a specific boundary. doing some bad things is sometimes okay but if you do a specific one (insert whatever here!!) you’re automatically irredeemable. and obviously in personal relationships i think this is usually completely justified and fine? you’re always entitled to not want to be around someone if they do something that hurts you or other people. or even just like. ever. but on a societal level it’s horrific. no one is beyond help (yes, not even that person you’re thinking of now) and no crime or act is “too bad” that the person who committed it deserves to be condemned forever as completely unable to change. our justice system is punitive and unempathic and our society frames mental illness as personal weakness and no one really gives a shit about victims unless they’re absolutely perfect. and these acts that push people “beyond redemption” in the eyes of the public or whatever depend so much on the person as well, obviously, their general social status. generally minorities tend to have to be so much More Perfect than anyone else. and, anyway, i don’t have a solution to it all, really, not our fucked up justice system or the mentalities that make us condemn people with our pseudopsychiatric armchair diagnosises of ‘narcissist’ and ‘psychopath’ or the way that everyone’s so hellbent on vengeance when that doesn’t actually help anything least of all victims. Idk. i just find it really depressing sometimes
#oliver talks#I don’t know what im saying here#i feel like i’m always calling for more understanding to be shown towards terrible people#and i don’t like that. i don’t want to seem like i care about perpetrators more than their victims because obviously that’s not true#but it’s just…. i don’t know. people are capable of a lot of things? and you really don’t know what you’re capable of until you’re tested on#it. and obviously people are ‘responsible for their own actions’. but it’s also fucking stupid to act like people aren’t#sometimes incredibly influenced by their childhoods and trauma responses and mental illnesses and even just emotions.#and. like. i dunno. the whole culture of someone does one bad thing and that’s IT just makes people way more likely to continue being shitty#because they’ve always been branded as it#everyone’s adamant to reiterate that they’re not ‘defending’ whatever if they emphasise with someone. that’s fucked up and we should think#about why that is; why seeing yourself in someone or expressing sympathy towards a horrible situation is automatically seen as supporting#them. even when we all have that within us#i’m aware a lot of this sounds very pointed but it truly is not about any one thing. just a lot of stuff i always see.#i don’t know. i get really miserable when i think about the justice system
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is it just me who finds the kissing as part of romantic fanfics like confession scenes totally boring and anticlimatic. like it usually feels like a scapeout, cant think of what to put there so just resolve it like that. it just isnt compelling writing when it uses that as a device, it isnt narratively satisfying, lacks interesting tension and actually well thought out romance as a concept
#i mean i dont tend to care about kissing in fanfics im reading for the characters from something i like anyway but thats just cause its#generally sort of boring as a concept and im possibly weird in only liking reading about that stuff with characters i dont#know or its awkward and weird?#but thats not what im talking about here anyway i dont mean gratuitous i mean as part of the plot#like one character confesses their love and the other responds by kissing them#its so common and so boring to read and narritively unsatifying#i dont care if it makes sense or whatever thats not the point of fiction it has to be compelling to read#so when the focus and plot of the story is romance then it should have an interesting story not just plain getting together#even when it isnt id prefer it like that anyway#and i mean its not like i always hate it or think it cant have its place though it isnt my favourite regardless but so often it just makes#the story end really anticlimatically and its so annoying#and its not like kissing as a concept cant be used for proper narrative tension like for example they almost kiss but dont#and that fanfic where that happened and i liked the writing hasnt been continued since but if it was then a scene later where they do#would have actual narritive value and be satisfying to read because its actually part of the story#i dunno i suppose its also just like having compelling writing and story tension and stuff in general#but like i dont think its just me who finds the lead up of romances more compelling and then its boring when they get together?#i mean when its a romance thats the whole tension and plot so#though im also sort of weird in the way i view fictional relationships even though theyre completely seperate to everything and i dont#project or anything really and empathy isnt dependent on shared circumstances its still more compelling when theres more in common#but that isnt always the case anyway only sometimes#and in terms of fanfic the lead up is usually better written confession scenes and anything after usually not so#well i mean usually actually nothings well written at all but when anything is#though out of the ones i think are actually well written its less of a thing its more the meh ones if they manage anything its before
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My cats have had diarrhea the past few days and my mom thinks I should call the vet and ask if they need to be brought in I freaking hope not I feel guilty every time because it’s mom who has to pay for it but I still don’t have a job yet. Ughh
#personal#I’ve been doing this stuff to work with turbo tax or whatever#its boring#everything is fucking boring but the only thing I’m even somewhat interested in are things my mom doesn’t want to help me with financially#like with this tax stuff she offered to buy me a laptop#but with the game writing course that I’m ya know actually excited about#nothing#and then she started talking about how bad the economy is so i couldn’t even find the guts to ask#I really hoped she’d offer I mean with my siblings she’s always helped them out#but that’s like at a college so it’s more stable seeming I guess#I dunno#I fucking hate asking for things#I feel like I’m constantly asking for either help or permission just to be here#just to fucking exist#because I don’t want to be here I don’t want to exist#so I’m just failing over and over at what everyone else can seem to do so easily#and I’m so tired#I’m so tired and i don’t even feel like i should be allowed to be tired#I mean seriously I take a boring class three times a week and im falling off the deep end#for fucks sake#everything just feels so hard#why is everything so hard
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More screenshots (bonus, managed to find Bull a shirt and don't know how to feel about that)
#anyway i continue to Lavellan post because i did some stuff and I'm tired now anyway. thinking about the beginning of the game and#how he's mostly leaning into the herald bullshit because he thinks it'll help him belong here and make people like him and how#devastatingly it's going to hit him after in your heart shall burn (I'm basically leaning into it as much as#possible without establishing him as faithful since it's more difficult to make Leliana pope that way but in my head#he took every 'yeah I'm herald I'm heralding so much andraste right now' option besides one with cass and one with Leliana)#like. he doesn't even really believe it but most people either like hearing it or if they react negatively it's in a way that still#acknowledges him as in charge so he'll roll with that. but then. everything in YHTB happens and it's just like. Oh. Oh Shit. like#it was this mix of bullshitting for fun and saying what people wanted to hear and kind of believing that maybe he was chosen by#Something at least. and like. it's not like he didn't do anything on his own or at least without any special abilities but then#The classic seeing all that be swept aside. realizing how this is going to be remembered because it's already happening. maybe#he should have known that the second he was asked if there was room for more among his gods.#but then. what do you expect. his first memory is being discarded (that's not entirely what it was but that's how his child brain#precessed it) and practically going feral because of it and then. having So Much catching up to do when it came to. basically every#aspect of being a person#and like. he was accepted along with Rella but that still gets to you. especially since. sure he didn't fully understand what it means to#be pitied but he could still recognize that from others. could still want to prove he was Better Than That. could still want to shatter tha#sheet of glass between himself and seemingly everyone else (even Rella to be honest. if only because she almost left him behind too). how#would he not lean into being seen as something special. whether he fully believed the narrative others were spinning or not#i dunno i see a lot of people talking about their Lavellan pushing back against the narrative from the start but i kind of like the#idea of going along with it. thinking it won't get that far and surely he can correct it if it does. he's in charge after all. right? only#to get hit harder than an avalanche by the realization that he's not in control after all. he can direct as many forces as he wants#but he can't change how he'll be remembered. how he's already being remembered. and he contributed to it too? i dunno his specific#combination of pride and insecurity and need to just Belong. to just belong as himself. is. compelling#If anyone is reading this Ive seen posts about all Lavellans having the same personality but no one's elaborated? am i just doing that?#i actually want to know. you know. assuming anyone is reading this.#i dunno just thinking about his continuous need to prove himself for so many reasons (partially because of Rella too since#yeah Rella is a mage but not the first or anything. she's just there because people knew she had nowhere else to go). okay I'll shut up now#but yeah what is this Standard Lavellan Personality i keep hearing about?#original posts#but like. something something he's being discarded again but he understands it this time and he can't fight it and just
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I forgot YouTube has a recap feature, yippee! I love music :)
#i'm a little confused how Mori still got top artists this year i really didn't think i listened to her that much this year?#her last album was... not for me lets say. i guess i did listen to Unalive a lot. Resting Power is a genuine banger#you know what else is a banger? Lone Alpha's album Virtual Paradise steaming now on all platforms go listen to it it's so good#(shameless plug because i was on top 1% of their listeners and thats a travesty. everyone should listen to them they're incredible)#all my top tracks were songs i got stuck on and listened to for literally hours on loop#I played my number one track 88 times. i like it :)#here's a link because i dunno if it'll come up from the auto translated title -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAmA3w4lVAY#is it the best song in the world? no. it's a pretty typical piece of idol music. but its very dear to me.#i'm not even familiar with the vtuber who sings it. it just tumbled across my recommendations one day and stuck with me#the rest of my top tracks are like genuinely good. those are complete recommendations from me -w-)b#the second one a kinda ancient cover by Rachie. i've been listening to that sing since i was a teenage lol#i've just been feeling it this year i guess. i got stuck on it for a couple weeks and just kept looping back to it#the third one is Thai which was cool. i haven't heard a lot of songs in that language but it's really lovely#actually i'll link that one to 'cause if you're not familiar it might be hard to find -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S5b1lbWyUU#all the singers on it are great. i really like Schneider's Thai covers of other songs#and like. every single cover i've heard from Dacapo has been PHENOMENAL he's great#the last 2 are Paradox Live songs. I fucking love Amprule. Yeon Dongha number one forever#this is already to long but i wanna talk about Kessoku Band to. I still haven't watched Bochii (<fake anime fan) but the OST is NEXT LEVEL#every single song is just so <3<3 ''If i could be a constellation'' is just THE best. every song on the album is good.#you can ignore the rest of my recommendations but this album is just objectively good.#link -> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mNWkxcU6VC_aWOFnpqYha-J5UMzwbVlx4#EDIT: i'm coming back to edit this days later because oh. fucking DUH. Sinderella end of last year/start of this year. i fucking forgot.#JIGOKU 6 was not really my favourite. i liked a couple songs but some of the others weren't for me#(which i could say about Sinderlla to i guess but since it's got more songs i feel more positively about as a whole)#anyway. i didn't go that hard on Jigoku and since that the most recent one i was just like hm? what Mori did I listen to?#it was Sinderella from last year. I listened to that one A LOT.#Wanted -Wasted is just so good it carries the whole album for me. it even compensates for Internet Brain Rot lmao#snow blogging#music recs
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My favorite headcanons for caitvi are ones where they met as kids/teens, by far
Like it's so fucking cute, the idea that Caitlyn would be immediately drawn to Vi due to her curiosity, and Vi can't help but be smitten by Caitlyn's atypical behaviors and willingness to explore new concepts and experiences and ideas.
Just like when they meet as adults in the original universe, their backgrounds should make them incompatible, but there's that inexplicable draw that brings them together.
Imagine Caitlyn tags along with Jayce to his visits in the undercity without telling her parents and can't stop staring at the pink haired girl she sees there at the shop, just hanging around, and they meet eyes, and BOOM, instant connection. Vi also sneaks glances and realizes she's never seen a Piltie girl her age this close before. She wonders if they're all this pretty.
Imagine Vi is sneaking around topside to catch glimpses of Caitlyn, because she feels like she shouldn't be so drawn to a Piltie, but she is anyway.
Imagine one day Caitlyn actually catches sight of Vi across the street as she tries to remain inconspicuous, but Caitlyn would recognize that pink hair in a heartbeat. Imagine she sneaks away from her mother or whoever she's with in order to go talk to her.
"It's you," she says, shy yet bold.
Vi, of course, tries to play it off. "Dunno what you're talking about, topside." But the blush on her cheeks tells another story.
Caitlyn ignores the very obvious attempts at ignorance. "I've been wanting to come visit the shop again, but it's hard for me to find the chance to get away from my mother. She's kind of overprotective."
Vi decides it's best not to play dumb, but can't completely be honest about wanting to see her as well. "You're sure you wanna share about your life with me? Maybe your mom's got a point, shouldn't associate with undercity trash and all."
Caitlyn frowns. "I don't think you're trash. That's silly. Why would you call yourself that?"
Vi is caught a bit off guard. "Isn't that what all you Pilties think of us?"
"I certainly don't." Caitlyn cocks her head as this leaves Vi without a response. "Why are you here, anyway?"
Vi stumbles around in her head for an answer. Shoves her hands in her pockets. Kicks a rock aside. Shrugs. "W-why are YOU talking to me?"
This makes Caitlyn smirk. "I DID say I've been meaning to come back to the shop. What do you think?"
"Dunno. Could want a number of things there." Vi has been staring at the ground but peers up at Caitlyn here. "Give me a hint?" The barest of upturned lips.
This makes Caitlyn break out into a genuine smile that steals Vi's breath a bit. "You're kind of adorable, you know that?"
Vi sputters. "Am NOT."
"Are so." Caitlyn tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Can't help but think the girl's freckles compliment her blush well.
Vi rolls her eyes, trying to pretend her brain isn't setting off fireworks. "I don't even know your name."
"Would you like to know it?" Caitlyn says, tilting her head.
"Since you insist on teasing me, I think it's fair."
"But you make it so easy," Caitlyn giggles. "Alright. I'm Caitlyn."
"Caitlyn," Vi breathes. Shakes her head. Clears her throat. Thrusts her hand out, scuffed up palms and knuckles and all. "I'm Vi."
"Vi. Pleasure to meet you." Caitlyn takes her hand without hesitation, notices how rough they feel compared to hers, incredibly intrigued.
"Caitlyn!" A voice calls. The girls both turn. It's her mother.
"Shit." Caitlyn breathes.
This makes Vi laugh, surprised. "Didn't know princesses could use words like that."
"Oh, hush." Caitlyn looks back at her, panicked. "I have to go. I'm sorry." Her eyes shift so they're alight with mischief. She jerks her head towards her mom. "You've got a talent for sneaking around, I assume?"
"And if I do?"
"Wait until we're out of sight. Maybe if you're good enough, you can stay under her radar." Caitlyn smirks. "Maybe you could teach me how to sneak about myself. Could come in handy."
Without giving Vi a chance to respond, she turns away, skirt swishing about.
And if Vi does exactly what Caitlyn says, following her home out of sight, and later taps at the same glass doors of the balcony she sees the girl disappear into after a while of spying, no one is the wiser. She figures she doesn't need to tell Vander what she's been up to just yet.
#caitvi headcanon#arcane#arcane headcanon#arcane thoughts#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#vi arcane#caitlyn x vi#violyn#arcane league of legends#vi ar#arcane fic#caitvi fic#arcane league of lesbians#league of lesbians
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What the ever-loving fuck am I ever saying to anyone?
Because whatever the hell it is, I sure as shit don't mean it.
#here we are with vinny's feelings vaguely disguising my own#several sucky things have happened in succession that've made me feel AWFUL and it's all cause I'm.. bad. at talking#I got blocked and did not understand what had happened til after I spent an hour meticulously apologizing then couldn't send it#I!!!! feel terrible!!!!!! I'd conducted myself SO POORLY this person thought I'd just go complain about them and forget it???#like no damn sorry I feel horrendous about this and probably will forever. I'm extremely sorry and I couldn't even tell you#I literally could not think about anything else for days.#I deleted our chat since I didn't want to obsess over every word I had ever said to them like I knew I would#cause there isn't really any recourse here that doesn't hurt them. I just hurt them and they'll never know how immensely sorry I am#I just. couldn't get over how they thought I never cared. that's been said to me in so many ways over the years and FUCK it hurts#I think it stung especially hard bc something similar but much more hurtful happened years ago#I dunno. then a couple other more mild instances of me being foolish occurred. it's been making me want to implode#how can I continue to do such awful things and not even realize what I've said before it's way too late#sigh sorry I did not want to go on like this it's going to stick with me for a while and probably not feel better for a long time if at all#guh. I looked at this sketch on the phone and you cannot see anything if you're on a low brightness as I am all the time. gotta fix that#also realized in the caption 'ever' is in there like 3 times and idk if that repetition sucks or kinda has a rhythm#how should I know! as we just established I am the WORST with words!#I FORGOT ALL MY TAGS#do I even want em here after this novel of wough#idk maybe when/if I come back to this n make it presentable it'll get proper tags
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