#should be spared from this monstrosity

[veraverorum]

An animal that I feel really close to is the bear 'cause god I'm feeling that hibernation thing

[kilojulietsierra]

I Don't Have A Best Friend (Dr Abbot & Dr Robby and their 'not friends' friendship)

Summary: The universe put them together in this hell hole and they made the best of it. They are like brothers/best friends... that doesn't mean they always have to be happy about it. Especially when Jack's wife decides she needs to set Robby up with a cute nurse friend.

(Honestly this one is for fun because I love them both, but ALSO this one sets up my next fic which will be Dr Robby x Reader.)

TW: this one is honestly pretty fun, tame and fluffym sarcastic doc bros, mentions of age gap, male friendships, Jack and his wife have basically, taken Robby in like a stray puppy, nerves about being set up on blind date, Dana and Jacks wife are in cahoots, some allusions to smut, healthy established relationship, alcohol

Features Dr Jack Abbott x nursewife!ofc from "Send Me An Angel" if you would like to check that out CLICK HERE!

~~~~~

Jack and Robby stood on opposite sides of the counter as Jack packed up his bag, "Chairs is packed, no shocker there. You got homeless guy vs car in South 7 waiting to go up, West 2 is a college kid, pumped his stomach, just gotta wait for him to come back around, PD should be here soon to talk to the guy in Central 7. Strange case of selective amnesia." When Robby cocked an eyebrow Jack looked up from his phone, "Can't seem to remember how he ended up to two nine mil slugs in his leg."

Robby shook his head, "Hate when that happens. What else we got?"

Jack checked his phone again and then shoved it in his pocket, "Oh yeah, North 5, surgery should be hear any minute for him. Was cleaning the ceiling fan, naked,"

"As one does." Robby interjected.

"and fell on the TV remote."

Robby gave a low whistle and shook his head, trying not to chuckle. "Perf?"

"Lucky for him, no." Jack grabbed his truck keys and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "If the wife shows up, have someone show her up to the surg floor waiting area. He can explain it to her when he wakes up or surgery can."

"Can't wait." Robby took probably the last drink of his still hot coffee he would get then called after his colleague, "See you Sunday right?"

WIthout turning around or even slowing down his steps Jack called back a simple, "Yeah."

~~~

Robby parked in the driveway behind Jacks truck and walked in through the garage. He let himself in and called out, "Knock, knock!"

Almost immediately Sam called back, "Hey! come on in!" He found her in the living room folding a blanket and tidying up,

"Hey sweetheart." Robby walked over to her and gave her a hug which she gladly returned. "Good to see you."

"Good to see you too." She tossed the blanket over the back of the couch, "Jack's out back. Make yourself at home, beer in the fridge in the garage, think he opened a bottle of bourbon too." Then she was off to some other room like she was on a mission.

Robby smiled. He had always liked Jacks wife, God knew how he found the one woman on the planet that would put up with him but he did it. He knew the way around their house so he walked to the patio door and let himself out.

The patio had a stone fireplace and a TV, some monstrosity of a grill, bbq, smoker combination and an outdoor couch and chairs. The TV was on the pregame, commentary already going, and Jack was stretched out on 'his' corner of the couch.

He looked tired, annoyed even at having to be awake while the sun was out. "Hey brother," He spared Robby only a glance then went back to the TV, "Grab a drink." Jack motioned to the bourbon on the table and the lone empty glass.

"How was last night?" Robby reached for the bottle, read it with a nod and popped the top off to pour himself a couple fingers. "Fuckin' sucked." He sipped his bourbon and sat up a little straighter on the couch, "Shen get's on my fuckin' nerves some days."

Robby lauged as he dropped down into one of the chairs, "I can see that."

"If he wasn't so damn unflappable I'd hate him." "

You hate everyone."

"I'd hate him extra."

He chuckled again and let his gaze shift to the TV, "House smells good."

Jack finally looked his way, "Sam started some chilli last night, she was off."

"Oh hell yeah." Not only did his wife have the patience of an angel and the backbone of a strongside linebacker, she could fucking cook. "Is it the one with the brisket and venison and all that?"

His friend slowly nodded.

"Hell yeah." Robby repeated himself and sipped at the bourbon.

The patio door swung open and Samantha appeared dressed in scrubs. "Alright you two play nice, don't wreck my house."

"Yes ma'am." Jack and Robby mumbled in unison.

She chuckled as she came around the couch and braced a knee on the cushion so she could lean over Jack and give him a kiss. He reached up and put a hand on her hip and chased after a second kiss. "Have a good night."

Robby had to avert his gaze to avoid feeling like a creep. "I'll try." She gave him one last kiss then stood up, Jacks hand slipping slowly from her hip as she pulled away.

"Text me when you get there." He added as he watched her walk around to the back of the couch.

"I will." She combed her fingers through her husbands curls once as she passed behind him.

Robby had to look away again to focus on the TV. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder as Sam gave it a squeeze. He gave her a smile, "Have fun." He gave it a teasing, lilty little tune as he said it and earned a grin back.

"You know I try." She gave his shoulder a last squeeze and was gone.

~~~~~~

A short while later Jack pulled his phone out of his pocket as it chimed. Sam must have made it to work. He snorted and put the phone down on the couch next to him.

"What?" Robby knew him too well, he had a bad feeling.

Jack sighed, sipped his bourbon, and never looked away from the Steelers playing. "She wants to set you up with someone."

"Jesus Jack."

"Don't bitch at me. I said she wants too, you can stay miserable and alone for all care."

"Does she really think i'm that hopeless."

"Apparently."

"Do you two, just, not remember what happened last time?" Robby kept his eyes glued to the TV, but couldn't even tell who hod possession of the ball.

Jack scoffed, "You and Collins were good." He took a sip of his drink and smirked into the glass, "Until you weren't."

"Fuck off. Besides, that ship has sailed." Robby looked down at the glass in his hand, "Just, give it a rest brother." He paused to take a sip, "We can't all find the love of our life in a war zone at 29."

His friend actually laughed, though it had a little darkness behind it, "Like a God damned fairy tale." He knocked back the last of his bourbon and sat up to stretch for the bottle.

Deciding they were committed to this conversation, because he knew good and well Sam wouldn't let it go, therefore neither could Jack, "She get's it though. Any woman I've ever… got close to… this fucking job…"

Jack looked his way with his usual frown and nodded, "This fucking job." He leaned back into the cushions, "Just let her try man. You know she won't let it go."

"Fuck me… She really thinks I'm hopeless."

"She's wanted to do it since you and Janey, but I've been holding her off."

"Gee thanks." Robby scoffs and scratches at his beard.

They were quiet for a long moment. The Steelers actually ran a touchdown, so they had something else to focus on.

Jacks phone dings again and he looks at it, his lips twitch up for barely a second as he texts her back. No doubt it's Sam. "It helps you know."

The softness in his voice catches Robby off guard. That tone is reserved for students, for kids that come in to the ER scared and hurting.

He expounded, "Havin' someone, it helps."

Robby thought long and hard, finished his own drink, and responded, "Not in my experience."

~~~~~

"What'd he say?" Sam's voice carried over the running water of the shower.

"Leeave the guy alone." Jack picked up his razor and waited before he turned it on, stood with it raised halfway to his face.

"Well, not like he's gonna do it himself."

"Babe..." He warned as be flipped the razor on and cleaned up the stubble from a couple days off in a row.

The shower shut off, "He's a great guy. He's good looking, he's intelligent, he's sweet and funny, a badass doctor.

Jack tipped his chin up to get his neck, "Somethin' I should know?" He watched her in the mirror as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel.

She gave him a look as she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Shut up." She bit the back of his shoulder a little harder than necessary, then pressed a kiss to the same spot. "Do you know how many hours of my life I've spent listening to girls complain about how there's no good men left?" She watched over his shoulder as wiped his freshly shaven face, "Too many." She kissed him between the shoulder blades and squeezed him a little tighter, the fingers of her right hind tracing a shape over his hip.

He saw the thought cross her mind, her eyes giving her away as her fingers drifted a little closer towards the illiac furrow. Jack set the shaver down and caught her hand before it dipped any lower and started something they didn't have time to finish.

Behind him she grinned mischeviously and nipped at his shoulder again. WIth a hard look her way in the mirror he pulled her arms tighter around him, her damp, warm skin so soothing against his own. "We both know you're going to do it regardless of what I think."

"You know me so well." She mumbles her response into his shoulder as she hugs him tight.

~~~~~

"Wake up." Robby slapped Abbot on the chest as he took the seat next to him.

Jack, who sat slouched back in one of the conference room chairs with his arms crossed and his chin tucked to his chest, eyes closed, did not move an inch. "I'm awake."

With a chuckle Robby set the second cup of coffee he brought in front his friend. "Long night?"

"Night was fine, last hour sucked." He finally cracked his eyes open and reached for the coffee. "Cops chased a kid in a stolen car across the seventh street bridge. He 1050ed and took five other cars out with him. We saw nine MVC patients 40 minutes before end of shift."

"Love that. Weekend off?"

"Mhmm. Soon as this shit show is over." Abbot took another sip of coffee and let his eyes slip closed again as Gloria began the monthly attendings meeting. Less than two minutes into her spiel Abbot leaned over, "Why do I have to be here again?"

"Theoretically speaking," Robby whispered back, "You are in a possition of authority."

"Could've fooled me."

Robby snorted out a laugh and hid it by drinking some of his coffee. Next to him he heard a phone vibrate and he watched out the corner of his eye as Jack pulled his out and read a text. When he smirked Robby's interest piqued. Jack held his phone out to show him.

it was a text from Sam, or as the contact at the top of the screen read: Sam Abbott green heart emoji Wife/ICE. The text read, "Hope your circus monkey training goes by fast. Tell Robby she asked about him again last night."

Robby scowled, "Too early for that shit man."

"She won't let it go, you know that."

"Gentlemen," Gloria raised her voice from the head of the table. "Is my meeting interrupting your little chat?" She scolded them like boys in primary school.

With his most charming tone Robby raised his own voice to match her, "We were actually just discussing a recent study on emergency department staff burnout rates."

Jack, face stone cold and sour added without missing a beat, "It's up to fifty percent in nurses, nearly sixty in doctors. 'Case you were curious."

Robby smiled, Jack glared, and Gloria cleared her throat, "As I was saying…"

~~~~~

Robby came up to the nursing station, hands in the pocket of his hoodie. He furrowed his brow and cocked his head to one side, "You..." He pulled out one hand to point, "You do not work here."

Sam rolled her eyes and gladly accepted his hug. "Playing Uber driver. Jack's truck is in the shop." "

You mean he's not doing the work himself?"

"Don't even. It took me a week to convince him he didn't have the time and to just take it in." She leaned over the counter, "Actually...speaking of stubborn assholes..."

Robby chuckled and shook his head, "Don't even."

"If you don't like her all you have to do is tell me! I'll let her down easy, you'll owe me, but I'll do it."

"I'm sure shes' a perfectly lovely woman." He kept his voice down low and hoped she'd take his lead.

She did not. "But?

"He's chicken shit." Her husband appeared behind Robby so he could log something at a computer station.

"Isn't it time for you leave?" Robby made a show of looking at his watch.

"Rob-byyyy, come on."

"I am not having this conversation here."

Sam sighed dramatically, "C'monnnn, don't you trust me?"

Robby shoved his hands back in his pockets, "I trust you. I trust you to make intelligent and informed medical decisions, I would trust you to borrow my truck, I trust you to murder your husband in his sleep and get away with it." Jack's glare didn't slow him down a bit. "I would trust you to... recommend a restaurant or take down an armed combatant with hand to hand combat if the need arose. Hell, I would trust you to perform minor to intermediate surgery unsupervised, but no, I do not trust you to set me up on a blind date." He half whispered, half hissed the last two words.

She completely ignored his tirade, "You wouldn't even have to say anything. Just nod your head for yes and shake your head for no."

Jack came to his rescue, backpack over his shoulder, "Okay, we are leaving." He came around the station and put a loving but motivating hand on her hip and pushher away towards the door. Jack and Robby exchanged a nod of solidarity as the pair of them left.

Once the door closed behind the Abbots Robby sighed and scratched the back of his neck. When he turned around to get everyone gathered up for rounds he found Dana behind him. "Good morning."

"Good morning." She gave him a cheery smile, "So, what's the deal with this cutie from the VA?"

Robby hung his head and couldn't help but laugh, "Seriously? She told you?"

She looked offended, "It's Sammy. Of course she told me, now quit dodging."

"Sounds like you know as much as I do." He stepped around her, ready to walk away.

That didn't stop her at all, "She's cute, she's smart! Why are you avoiding it? What's one date going to hurt?" Robby stops and takes in a deep, calming breath through his nose. "It's not the one date I'm worried about."

Realization dawned on her and she nodded. Sympathetic. "She could be your last first date... I'm just sayin'."

~~~~~

"Alright, I got this, get the hell out of here." Robby hovered over Abbots shoulder while he finished notes on a patient file.

"I'm going." Jack kept typing.

"I'm serious, get out." He scowled down at him. "Don't make me call securtiy."

Jack snorted as he logged out of the computer and stood up, "Too scared to kick me out yourself?"

To anyone that didn't know the two of them, the way Abbot stepped forward and squared up to Robby, the look they gave each other, would have been concerning to say the least.

Robby just crossed his arms, "Go. Home."

Dana walked around the counter, "C'mon you two, break it up."

Jack smirked, "Lucked out." He leaned down to grab his backpack, "Sam wants you to come over for dinner Friday."

As he took the seat Jack had just vacated Robby spun around on the chair, "What's the occasion?"

"How should I know? I just live there." Jack walked out from behind the nurses station. Matching Robby''s stare the whole way.

When it clicked for him Robby groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face, "You've got to be shitting me, for real?"

"Don't bitch at me. You want to have that argument, you call her yourself."

"She really does think I'm a lost cause, huh?"

"Apparently."

Robby groaned again, a hint of resignation in it. "Who is it?"

Jack shrugged, "I don't know, probably one of her nurses."

Robby cocked an eyebrow, "Little cliche don't you think? The whole doctor nurse thing?" He took a cheap shot at his colleague because he felt like he deserved it.

"Go to hell." He stepped back from the counter, "SIx o'clock. Don't piss my wife off."

~~~~~~

Jack watched Sam as she walked back and forth through the kitchen, "You're acting like you're the one getting set up with a stranger." He leaned against the entryway into the kitchen with his arms crossed. When she paused to look at him he smirked and pushed off from his spot to approach her. "C'mere." He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into him as he settled back against the counter.

His wife rolled her eyes, but went with it and sank into him. "Want it to go well. Want him to be happy."

When Jack snorted she gave him a look.

"Ok, I want him to be less miserable."

That made him smirk as he lets his hold on her slide lower, until he could slip his hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "I'm miserable to you know…" He left it open ended, like maybe she could 'help him out'.

"You've always been miserable." She responds without pause.

"Watch it." He cocked an eyebrow at her as he pulled a hand back and gave her a swat on the ass.

Sam had to fight back the smile when she challenges him, "Don't tell me what to do." She leaned in a little further, "I outrank you. Remember?" She pointed a finger, jabbed it into his chest, "Sargent." Then pointed to herself, "Lieutenant."

Face still as unreadable as always he captured her hand in his, finger still pointed, "We ain't in the Army any more, baby." He used her own finger to point to her chest, "Nurse." Then turned her finger towards himself and pressed it against his sternum. "Doctor."

Before she could argue, he saw it flash across her face that she was going to, he grabbed her other hand quick. He twisted them around behind her back so she can't reach him, and used the position to wrap his arms around her and pull her in to a kiss. Once she relaxed, hummed happily, and leaned into him he released her hands. He grinned against her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. He pulled back a breath, "Good girl." and then she bit his lip, hard, which made him chuckle and only kiss her harder.

"Knock, knock!"

They pulled apart. Sam let out a little frustrated groan and Jack licked his top lip as he gave her ass one last squeeze. He pressed his lips against her ear and whispered, "I'm goin' to finish that later." Then he was on his way back out to check on the grill.

~~~~~

Robby found Sam in the kitchen, 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles played over the TV sound bar and he could smell the wood smoke through the open patio door from where Jack had something on the smoker.

"Ohhh, Jack's gonna be pissed." She giggled with a wicked smile as she met him halfway for a hug.

"As opposed to normal?" He gave her a squeeze.

"Yes. because he thought you'd bail. Now he owes me." She was still grinning as she stepped back from him.

Robby shook his head, "Don't want to know." Sam reached for the bottle of wine he held in his hand, but he pulled it back, held it out of her reach. "What exactly am I getting myself into here?"

She reached for it again, rolling her eyes at his antics, but he only held it out further. "Answer the question."

"Just relax, if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out, but... obviously you come up in conversation sometimes and one of the girls from work has showed some interest." She can see, clearly, that Robby is regretting his decision to go through with this. "Stop it. She's an RN, she's working at the VA while she finishes her masters. She's smart, she's sweet, she's young and pretty and a great nurse. I wish I had 5 more of her."

"How young?"

Sam had apparently hoped he'd gloss over that one. "Not like sketchy young, don't be gross." She tried to brush it off.

"Sam..." He tilted his head to one side and stared her down.

She just shrugged, "Jacks older than me, besides that's usually how it goes."

"By like five years. Not the point. How young is she Sam?"

"He's seven years older actually." She must see on his face she wouldn't talk her way out of it, because she offered up, "She's just a couple years younger than me."

"Sam!" His eyes go wide and he looks a little offended, "I'm going to be fifty fucking years old soon!"

"We all know you're old." Jack interrupted from the doorway as he walked into the kitchen. He slapped Jack on the back with one hand and took the bottle of wine with the other.

Robby scoffed and then scowled at him, "You're not far off either brother, just wait."

"Okay so she's younger, so what? She sure doesn't seem to mind." The look on her face makes it clear she's trying to fluster him. Throw him off.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jack reappears beside them and hands a glass of wine to his wife and holds out a bourbon to Robby, "It apparently means you're 'sexy as fuck', which I deeply regret ever having to hear or repeat."

"Sam...I love you," Robby starts off, "but I am going to kill you."

"C'mon," Jack grabbed him and turned him around with a push, "Arguing won't make it better. Trust me."

Outside on the patio Robby stared out over the pool into the back yard and scratched at the back of his neck. "Why did I agree to this?"

"She's hard to say no to."

"Do you know this woman?" Robby felt like he was grasping at straws, trying to find any reason to believe this wouldn't blow up in his face.

Jack, his supposed best friend, just shrugged, "Never met her. Sam mentions her, but I don't know. She says she's smart, cool under pressure. Think they've hung out outside of work some."

Robby shook his head, "I can't date a woman in her thirties."

Drink in one hand and flipping steaks on the grill with the other Jack looked at him, "I'm married to a woman in her thirties. What's it matter?"

He laughed, self deprecating as ever, "Thirty nine, Jack, your wife is thirty nine, and for how many more months? You're also a lot closer to thirty than I am brother. Besides, you two have have been married for like twenty fucking years."

Jack didn't correct him, it hadn't quite been twenty years yet, instead he shut the grill and walked over to his corner of the outdoor couch, "Might be good for you." He dropped down to sit with a groan and took a sip of his bourbon.

A little reluctant Robby also took a seat and scratched at his jaw. He took a sip of the bourbon and stopped. "Oh, this is good."

Jack nodded "Broke out a bottle of the good stuff." He took a sip of his own, "Thought we might need it."

Robby scoffed, "We?" Glass raised back up to his lips, Jack smirked into his drink, "This is goin' to be painful for all of us."

Robby laughed, actually laughed, "Fuck off."

~~~~~ The End~~~~~~

The story continues!

Baby, It's Alright - Chapter One

[paceprompting]

Need a Ride?

written for ‘snowfall’ wc: 1000 # | steddie | rated: g | cw: non archive warnings apply | tags: alternate first meeting, pre-season four, feat. steve harrington's beemer

@steddieholidaydrabbles

He was sending his van right to the dump this time. He meant it.

Stupid engine he’d had to drop all his profits on for the third time crapping out right in the middle of the road. Leaving him to hoof it back to the gas station and hope that Wayne was home from his shift to get the call.

And of course, the snow season had to start today.

Head ducked against the wind, with only his battle vest and leather jacket against the bracing cold and snowflakes that stung his cheeks and nose where it wasn’t covered by his hair. He was just glad that there were streetlights so he wasn’t veering off into nowhere in the dark.

He could barely feel his fingers in his pockets by the time he made it to the station. He was still shivering, so he wasn’t quite at the point of hypothermia, but even dialing the numbers on the pay phone was a bit of a feat in itself.

Eddie put his back to the wind as the phone rang. And rang. Eventually, it rang out.

Wayne must have picked up a double shift. Not unusual, especially this time of year. Honestly, Eddie should have guessed that in the first place and called the plant instead of the trailer.

And he didn’t have enough change for another call. Guess he shouldn’t have stopped to buy that pack of cigarettes. That he’d already opened and smoked one from before his shitty van broke down.

“Fuck,” Eddie hissed, smacking the receiver into the hook.

He could trudge back to the van and settle in for the night. But without heat, he’d be just as well off trying to walk home in the wind and snow. And he wasn’t going to be getting sympathy with how he was dressed for spare change, much less did he have anything to deal to someone who would give him the time of day.

If he didn’t figure this out quick, he was going to get arrested for loitering.

Although…

“Munson?”

He perked up despite himself, recognizing the voice. Even if it wasn’t exactly someone he was elated to have run into at a pretty low point in his day.

Standing there under cover from the wind, the snow fell gently onto Steve Harrington. Of course it did. Settled on his hair and his jacket like powdered sugar on an overly-sweet dessert.

He wasn’t getting gas, pulled over and stood with the driver’s door open. One hand braced on the door and the other on the hood of his car, Steve stared curiously at Eddie. He was actually dressed for the weather, a puffy white and pale blue-striped monstrosity with fur around the hood.

Steve glanced at the rest of the gas station, noticing that his was the only car around.

“What are you doing here?”

Eddie stayed beside the payphone, in the wind and snow, but the farthest he could be from Steve. He’d dealt to him a few times, just weed, really, and only knew Steve by reputation. Last he’d heard, Steve had just dumped his two lackeys, Tommy and Carol and had slung ice cream at the Starcourt Mall until it burst into flames.

Why Harrington could care about him, Eddie had no idea.

“Van broke down,” he answered shortly, shoving his hands in his pockets even though the leather was nearly as cold as the wind. He gave a strained smile. “Stuck here.”

“Phone busted?”

“Out of money.” Eddie cocked his head, feeling bold. “Got fifty cents?”

It’d be enough for another call to the trailer and one to Wayne’s work for safety.

Steve raised both brows, and Eddie blanched. He and Steve were practically strangers, and he’d immediately hit Steve up for money. Even if he was known as the rich kid with parties every week because his parents were never home—Eddie was so far off his radar, he might as well have been gum under his shoe.

“I could give you a ride,” Steve said instead. “Forest Hills, right?”

A ride in the Steve Harrington’s Beemer. Sleek and maroon and drool-worthy.

The girls at school that would have literally slit his throat to be in Eddie’s place.

Eddie’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, but he managed to find words and point back at the payphone with his thumb.

“I really just need to call my uncle. He’ll come get me.”

Steve leveled a gaze at him. “And you’ll spend an hour in the snow waiting. I’m not going to leave you out here to freeze.”

Eddie sucked his teeth, staring Steve down. He hated to give Steve the point of being right, but he was starting to lose feeling in his hands and his cheeks were stinging from the wind across his face.

He sighed, wetting his bottom lip. Or tried to, since the wet from his tongue only made his face freeze more.

“Fine,” he said, ducking his head as he trudged toward the Beemer. He didn’t dare stop to double-check with Steve, wincing as he pulled his hand from his pocket to open the door and slide inside.

The inside was immediately ten times warmer, blasting from the fans and Eddie nearly moaned. Until Steve’s door slammed closed and suddenly Eddie was inside Steve Harrington’s car. With Steve Harrington.

“You good, Munson?”

He was staring, he realized only after Steve spoke. If Steve wasn’t apprehensive about letting the school freak into his car, he was sure to be when Eddie acted as though he’d been raised far from civilization.

He forced a hard swallow. “Just surprised this isn’t all some trick. My type doesn’t exactly mesh with your type.”

Steve gave this chuckle, like an inside joke only he had any idea of.

“Right,” he said softly, and Eddie definitely felt as though he was way out of the loop on a new kind of Steve Harrington.

A kind he had a single car ride to figure out.

Part Two

[mochinomnoms]

Half asleep past midnight ramblings because I saw a pirate AU mentioned and I know you like Jade so like

Yuu drops stuff off the edge of a ship and into the ocean by accident - maybe some kinda mushroom-shaped pendant idk. And jade ends up catching it and misinterpreted the exchange as a courting gesture somehow. And now Yuu keeps on getting dragged out to deck by the rest of the crew because this bigass mer with bigass teeth keeps jumping aboard and snarling at anyone who approaches him except for Yuu for some reason

And Yuu just keeps having to drop what they're doing to nudge what seems, to them, like quite a placid merman off the deck and back into the ocean, wondering why they specifically have to do that and not believing the rest of the crew when they describe Jade as 'A hissing monstrosity that tried to take a chunk outta my arm!' etc. etc.

Anyway they have a collection of random ocean trinkets that Jade keeps giving them or something. And also Jade saves them from drowning. Floyd follows Jade to the surface once and then there's an issue with TWO mermen tryna hang out on deck but only tolerating two specific crew members and one is the angry redhead who ends up looking super amusing trying to drag a slippery, troublesome eel to the edge of the boat so he can get back to whatever he should be doing

Sorry about the rambling - and sorry if it isn't coherent. My brain needs something to do since I can't get to sleep rn lol.

I don't know a whole lot about pirates other than what I know from my video game...but from I am aware! They spend at least weeks if not months out at sea! I like to think that it takes Jade sometime to watch and actually fall for someone, while Floyd is the one more prone to love at first sight fight

When you guys are around at sea, slowly making your way to the next port, you're not super surprised you've been followed by a pair of merfolk.

They're known to be curious, but unless they're sirens, they're likely to keep to themselves.

But these two have been following the ship for quite some time now, like they're after something specific.

They're practically identical, just a few things like their gray strands of hair and their bi-colored eyes that help with differentiating them. The more excitable of the two seems to be most invested in chasing after your boat.

You can't understand the clicks, chirps, or squeals he makes, but you do notice how excited he gets when your friend Riddle, a crewmate who ran off from home, is on the deck. Riddle seems annoyed and will often yell at the merman, telling him to go away and stop following.

Though the big guy just looks so happy to see Riddle that you think he isn't able to understand human speech. If you had to guess, you think he was following after Riddle. Not sure why though.

You almost forget about the other one, with how quiet he is. You encounter him after dropping a cute little mushroom pendant that you got from a port shop a while back. The moment it plopped into the dark water in the dead of night, you were absolutely devastated. You even took some spare rope and wrapped it around your waist in a tight knot before scaling the side of the ship to carefully make it down to the water.

Hoping and praying to whatever sea god lorded over the current waters you were in that the water was shallow and pendant not lost to the deep, you failed to notice the soft teal aquamarine glow emerging from the water.

When you finally do turn to look at the water, you just about screamed at the upper hand of one of the mermen's face staring at you. Pressing yourself against the wooden hull of the ship, you stared back at him, not even daring to blink, as if he would suddenly lunge at you if you looked away.

Not an unwarranted fear; you and the rest of the crew had seen the way those sharp teeth and claws torn apart large tuna and annoying seagulls.

You think this is the more quiet of the two, based on the lack of reaction and the strand on his left. He seems more quizzical than playful, compared to whom you think is his brother. His eyes flicker down to watch the way your chest moves up and down as you try to calm your breath. He stares for a bit before flickering back up to your eyes, where he resumes his chilling stare.

What felt like hours, but was probably minutes, passed as you two played what was essentially a staring contest. Eventually, made due to boredom, or maybe he was satisfied after studying you so long, his right hand came up from the water clenching something. He gently opened his hand to reveal the golden mushroom pendant, complete with your gold chain and everything.

"Oh! You got it, uh, can I have it back?" You asked, pointing at the item in his hand.

The merman slowly rose up the lower part of his face and upper chest now visible. Looking at him up close, you could understand why they cautioned sailors to keep their distance from all sea folk.

Such pretty faces, it's no wonder people willingly drown themselves just in an attempt to be with one.

The teal colored merman watched as you carefully reached for the item in his hand, only to jerk it away and make a laughing sound. You think it was laughter, based on the smirk and squinted eyes he gave you. You huffed, reaching for it again, only for him to swam back again. His laughter was growing louder, seems that he was just as mischievous as his brother, just sneakier about it.

It almost sounded musical to your ears, too bad you were too focused on getting the pendant back to admire it. Eventually, the creature was far enough out of your reach that you were barely touching the ship with the tip of your toes. It seemed like he wanted you to fall into the water as he playfully splashed at you with the tip of his tail. You knew he was playing, if he really wanted you in the water, that tail had more than enough strength to wrap around you and drag you in.

But still, you wanted that damn pendant back! He seemed fascinated by the mushroom itself and the detailing on it. His claws kept tracing over the ridges and he was studying it intently when he wasn't staring at you. He's probably never seen one before. That's when a brilliant idea popped into your head!

Gesturing him to wait, you climbed back up the rope, turning back every time to check and see that he was still there. The big guy seemed a bit annoyed, disappointed even, that you were leaving. No matter, you'd be back soon enough with a bargaining chip.

It takes a moment for you to finally make your way back up, huffing and your arms straining from pulling your self up. Riddle, bless his heart, had rushed out after hearing your scream earlier and was pacing around the deck waiting for you to return.

"There you are! I saw you with one of the mermen, did you get hurt? Do you need medical attention? Come to the infirmary, I'll check you up—"

You waved him off, struggling to undo your knot, blurting out something about you being fine and needing to trade. Finally managing to stumble into the sleeping quarters and to your cot, digging against your blanket and bags to finally find a small pouch.

Smiling at your victory, you ran back up to the deck to find Riddle struggling with the rope and one of the mermen. You're pretty sure it's the other one: his strand is on his right side and he's a lot more vocal as he tried climbing up the side of the ship using the rope and digging his claws in the hull.

Poor Riddle was struggling to get the merman's arms off of his, the latter's grasp tightening the more he struggled to get out.

"Damn it Floyd! I told you! Leave!" A kick. "Me!" An inhumane yelp. "ALONE!"

The merman looked almost disappointed as Riddle finally managed to kick him in the face and crawl away from his grasp.

Riddle was heaving as he glared at the pouting merman, watching as he finally lost his claw grip in the wood and slid back into the water with a loud splash. You helped your friend up, checking him over for any stratches or bite marks.

"So it is you that they're following! I'd been wondering way they were so focused on our ship, but how do you know his name?"

Riddle sighed, nodding his head. "I apologize. I was hoping that he wouldn't remember me from our childhood, it's been so long, but..."

He dragged his hands over his face in exasperation. "He has a perfect memory when he wants to. He used to visit the reefs near my hometown, I ended up meeting him there when I was younger. He was so annoying! Liked to poke and prod at me anytime I visited the beach, I thought I finally managed to get rid of him when I left home, but it seems that he's found me."

"How can you understand them?"

"Ah, they can speak and understand common tongue. They just choose to feign ignorance." Riddle muttered to himself as he slipped off his now soaking jacket.

You watched your friend as he wrung out the water in his clothes from who you now know is Floyd. Pursing your lips, you looked toward the rope, now splayed across the deck, and move toward it.

"Do you know the other one's name?" you asked, tying the rope back to your waist.

"Hmm? His twin? I think it's Jade, why do you want to—what are you doing?"

Riddle suddenly stood watching in horror as you slipped over the ledge of the ship once again.

"He's got my pendant, gonna get it back—"

"No! You going down there is how Floyd got up, get back here!" Riddle marched over, stomping his foot and reaching for you just as you jumped. "I'll get you another, one with rubies in it—HEY!"

Using the momentum from the fall, you planted your feet against the hull as you landed against it, looking down at the water again. This time, both mermen were watching you as you climbed down, though the one you though was Floyd looked upset and bored, swimming up to the hull to make small crying noises to Riddle, you assumed.

As you got closer, the one called Jade came closer, apparently interested that you returned. Once you were finally within each other's reach again, you gestureed for him to come closer.

By this point, his brother was behind him watching curiously as you held up the pouch in your hand, opening it and revealing a white button mushroom.

Jade perked up, looking between your pendant and the mushroom in your hand. You pointed at the pendant in his hand, before remembering what Riddle said.

"Oh yeah, he said you could understand me." Jade didn't betray that he understood you, though his ear fins twitched as you spoke.

"Uh, if you give me that—" you still pointed to the pendant, just incase he was wrong. Though Riddle rarely was. "—then I will give you this!" You pointed back to the white mushroom in your hand.

Jade looked excitedly at the mushroom, nodding as you two traded. Sighing in relief, you pulled the chain over your neck and tucked it into your shirt. You readied to climb back up to the ship again before glancing at Jade.

He was poking at the mushroom, turning it round in his fingers. He seemed almost childlike in his wonder with the fungus, it was almost cute. Right up until he tore it in half and dropped it into the water, watching it float.

"What, no!" You whined, startling him as you gestured between him and the mushroom.

"No! No, no, no! That's a waste of a perfectly good mushroom! Do you know how hard it is to get those at ports? You're supposed to eat it!"

Exasperated, you opened your pouch again and handed another to Jade, though this time he eyed your hand warily.

"...What? Do you think I'm gonna posion you? Look—" You tore it in half, like he did earlier, and popped one half into your mouth. "Shee? Yummy!"

He still looked doubtful as you chewed. Rolling your eyes, you extended your arm out to his face, making him jerk away again.

"Just, try it! Come on!" You pushed against the hull again, on your tiptoes, as you held out the mushroom towards his lips.

"I'll even feed it to ya! Say 'aaaah'."

Jade looked at your open mouth and, you swear on your soul, blushed before looking away. He thinned his lips, eyes flickering back at you again with an almost shy expression. Floyd, in the background, was staring curiously, before making a chirping sound. Jade made a similar sound back, before looking at you between his lashes and bashfully taking the mushroom from your fingertips.

You tried not to jump from his teeth scraping you and his cold lips brushing against your skin. Instead, you stilled yourself, holding your breath as he chewed.

"It's good, right?"

Jade paused swallowing and slowly nodding before opening his mouth.

"Yes, it's quite...nice." You were surprised how smooth and human his voice was. It as almost soft, a stark difference from his sharp ends and edges. Pleasant.

You shook your thoughts from your head. You refused to be one of those lovesick sailors.

"Right...well, thanks! I'll be, uh, heading back now."

You actively chose to not look back as you climbed up, though perhaps you should have. You could have seen the way Jade watched you, like your were Aphrodite emerging from the sea foam to the land.

"What I tell ya Jade?" Jade continued watching you climb up, eyeing the way Riddle dragged you to the boat, though he flicked his ear fin towards Floyd. "I told you that the lil shrimp was just your type!"

Floyd giggled as he swam on his back, circling his brother. He paused to listen to the way Riddle was yelling at you. So cute.

"Aren't you glad you joined me? I get my Goldfishie, and you'll get a little Shrimpy out of it! Mama and Pops will be so happy when we bring them back home!

"Yes...we'll have to do it soon though." Jade smiled as he watched you and Riddle peer over the edge. You waved at him, and he back at you. His smile grew as you excitedly waved even harder speaking to Riddle before your friend dragged you away.

"The farther we get, the less time we have to return to Azul. His water-breathing spell will only last so long."

"And whose fault is that?" Floyd scoffed, flicking water at his brother in annoyance. "I wanted to take my mate and his friend since day one, you're the one who wanted to 'study' them and stuff. I know you best, if I tell you that the shrimp is perfect for you, you oughta listen!"

Jade glared at Floyd, who stuck his tongue at him, before softly laughing.

"You're right Floyd, of course you know me so well." Jade stared back up at the ship, as if his gaze alone would beckon you to return to him. "The water's warm, there's a storm coming from the east, where they've been traveling."

Jade dove into the water, his brother following him.

"The storm is large and coming soon, and the wood over here is damaged." Jade gestured to a part of the hull that was starting to rot, water slipping in. "If we cause the ship to take in more water, it will sink. They only have a few of those smaller boats, and much too many crew."

Floyd grinned as he caught on to what his brother was implying.

"Everyone will probably be scrambling to get on them boats—"

"Precisely, and with the chaos of a storm, will be much too busy to notice two of their crewmates snatched by a pair of mermen."

The twins shared a conniving laugh, following the ship into an unseen storm in the dark of night.

Something that few people ever mentioned, as it was quite rare, was that once a merperson fell for someone, they also were determined to drag them into the deep, never to be seen again by the people of the surface.

[yandereunsolved]

Yandere Castiel pining after a hunter—his creator betrayed him, so he found a new one.

"Hello mortal, it's me, Castiel."

Yandere Castiel met you after he betrayed heaven for the Winchesters. Cut off from his angelic powers, it was merely a matter of time before his grace dwindled away to humanness. He would be lying to himself if he said he did not fear. More than fear, there was this other fickle notion. This emotion gnawed inside his vessel's muscular organ situated in the mediastinum.

He truly thought God cared for his creations, but he had been brought back by this all-knowing entity, and for what?

He has no purpose except for aiding the Winchesters, which has only 'bitten him in the ass', as Dean says.

He's vulnerable... and that's when he stumbled upon you.

Yandere Castiel appeared out of thin air; well, that's how it appeared to you, seeing as how you are a mortal and are unable to see into other spiritual planes. He took down the monstrosities you had been hunting with relative ease. It left his angelic form wheezing as more of his grace was depleted. He should have simply left you, but something in him compelled him not to.

He introduced himself and naturally you were taken aback. He didn't elaborate any further when bombarded with questions. He offered to heal you.

Yandere Castiel followed you everywhere after that, like a lost hellhound looking for its owner. There was always an angel on your shoulder, more accurately, peering over your shoulder.

He even neglects prayers from the Winchesters and their allies to spend time with you. They did not appreciate him as much as you did. After all, he was only blasphemed and devalued around them. You thanked him, allowed him into your sleeping quarters, and shared private information with him that very few knew.

He already knew these things due to his, well, just being ethereal, but something in him said that he should keep that to himself.

When he could spare the grace, he would stay in his angel form so he could watch you uninterrupted. Apparently humans did not appreciate being looked upon so closely, despite the fact celestial beings are always looking upon humanity. It's another one of those human quirks he does not understand.

You were and still are a fascinating creature. He can't help but get attached.

Yandere Castiel is unsatisfied by the work your guardian angel has been doing. He is hardly able to call it protection, seeing as how Castiel always has to be the one to step in and take care of you. So he tears the wings off of that pitiful excuse and takes the grace from them.

He's keeping the both of you safe. It was only a matter of time before the angel reported his whereabouts to heaven and sent someone far more powerful to eliminate him. Then who would keep you safe? It certainly wouldn't have been the 'angel' heaven assigned to you.

When he appears to you with a stronger grace presence and blood coating him, you are naturally cautious. When you question him, he simply rebuffs and states that he was 'taking care of things'. He doesn't want you to worry, so he presses his lips to yours and makes you forget this little interaction.

It's addicting.

Is this what that abomination Sam Winchester felt when intaking demonic substance?

He still doesn't condone the vessel's actions, but he has a better understanding now.

Yandere Castiel abuses his divinity. Even with limited grace, he obtains it in other ways now. The more human part of him knows this is wrong, but the angel part of him says that this is righteous. It is, isn't it? He's serving humanity through one human. His human.

He isn't shy about those fleeting touches of his. He is often tempted to let you harm yourself in incrimental ways so he is able to step in and 'kiss your boo-boos'. It is another human phrase he has grown fond of, even despite its juvenile connotations. It isn't required that he has direct contact to heal your wounds, but you do not need to be made aware of that.

Unfortunately, he cannot prevent certain incidents from occurring. So he wipes your memory. All those negative emotions you felt towards him cease to exist. He is your sinless guardian, your angel, your soul mate.

He allows you to get high on his grace. All of your problems fade away, and there is only him.

In those moments, you see him how he sees you, as the only being in creation worth attention. 

Yandere Castiel thought it could not get any worse than ridding you of stray entities. Wherever God is, they must be either punishing him for his disobedience or testing his loyalty to his human. A cherub of all lower ethereal entities is trying to mark you with an enochian love sigil. Heaven is trying to force you to have an 'other half'.

His patience runs thinner than God's love.

He tried to use his words, but the cherub was just so persistent. He snapped all of the arrows first, then he grabbed his angel blade and plunged it into the love being's skull. That was after he tortured the information about this false soul mate those fuckers on high wanted to force upon you.

Your bloodline needed to be preserved because your line was fated to do something greater. He knows better than to trust the words of those in heaven. If your bloodline needs to continue, Castiel can always help you copulate.

So your 'soul mate' ends up dead. He binds your heart to his vessel's without your knowledge.

This is how it was always supposed to be.

Yandere Castiel has you with him now. You are undeniably attracted to him, which makes it so easy to persuade you. He is able to create distance between you and the hunter life. It's almost perfect, except for his apparent duty to the Winchesters.

He is confronted after neglecting them for nearly a year. He brushes it off like he has before, but they persist. He cannot allow you to be near them! They are the center of the world's supernatural troubles. His hand is eventually forced.

So he's fiercely protective, always a wing around you. Neither better get the faintest idea of wanting you. You're his.

[officialaemondtargaryen]

Never Gonna Be Alone - Part One

Summary: When a friend from college contacts you about renting out your empty, spare bedroom to her brother, you aren't really sure what to expect.

Pairing: Modern!Aegon Targaryen x Reader

Word Count: ~1.5k

Author's Note: I've been writing two horribly depressing stories simultaneously for a while now and I needed a break from the angst. I hope that you all enjoy this.

Warnings for the entire series: language, drug & alcohol use, pining & yearning, fluff, possible angst, and sexual content. Plus, me attempting to be a comedian.

Masterlist | Playlist

She said, "he's kind of messy in every aspect of his life, but he's fun to be around!" Then, she very positively followed that up with, "I think you two would really get along!"

You met Helaena in college, and to be honest, you really didn't know her that well. She was a friend of a friend who had been in a few of the same classes as you, went to the same bars, and had a similar taste in art and music. She'd like every selfie, or ask to borrow a book you posted about, but you had never really hung out alone together.

So when your phone started ringing on a Friday night, after you were already three margaritas deep and swimming in queso dip at your cousin's birthday party, and it was Helaena Targaryen's name flashing across the screen, you were admittedly concerned; though, you'd always known her to be a pretty sincere person, so you took her word for it when she said that you should let her older brother move into the empty, second bedroom of your apartment. It might have been the tequila, or the fact that you were just that desperate, but you immediately agreed to her proposition without question.

You had been trying to rent the room out for months when it became impossible to afford the luxury of living alone, but every person that was interested happened to fall through for one reason or another. You had even offered a discounted rate (as the bedroom was smaller than yours and there was only one bathroom and it was a Jack-and-Jill), but you still couldn't find a good fit.

Enter Aegon Targaryen.

Suddenly, a guy whom you could only describe as 'that has to be Helaena's brother', was knocking on your door a week later. There was beat up Wrangler sitting on the curb behind him filled to the roof with cardboard boxes, and a tiny U-Haul hitched to the bumper with what little bit of furniture he had. He looked at you, blinked a few times and said, "I'm Aegon." You introduced yourself and he nodded; there were no pleasantries, no hand shakes or smiles. He just walked into your apartment, looked around, and then started moving his things in.

It was mid-July, so obviously there were better things you could be doing with your time than helping a complete stranger move his things into your home during a drought and a heat wave. Yet, you slid on your sandals and got to work after you had started to feel bad that you were sitting pretty in the air conditioning while your new roommate struggled alone in the humidity.

It didn't take long until the only thing left was his mattress. You weren't even sure how he got that monstrosity stuffed into the tiny trailer in the first place. It was ridiculously bulky and much heavier than it needed to be, but he swore that it was the most comfortable mattress you'd ever lay on in your life- a fact that you would just have to take his word for. You struggled, a lot, but put on a brave face as Aegon did most of the heavy lifting in the back and you navigated up front.

As you were coming up the porch steps with your sunglasses sliding off of your face as you dripped with sweat, and your arms tired from hours of heavy lifting (saving the heaviest for last, which was a terrible idea), you ended up missing the stoop completely and landing on your ankle awkwardly. You played it off until you had gotten the mattress onto his bed frame, and then silently cried about it in your now shared bathroom; quietly cursing the economy for forcing this situation upon you. Later that night as you were sitting on the couch, with your swollen ankle elevated on a couple of throw pillows, your new roommate tosses a bag of frozen peas in your lap and continues into his room with a bowl of cereal for dinner.

"Thanks," you called after him but only heard the sound of his bedroom door closing in reply.

Over the next few weeks you observed quite a bit about Aegon Targaryen. You knew which spoon was his favorite, how he preferred his tea, that he washed his hair with tea tree shampoo, and enjoyed mint chocolate chip ice cream. He cut the crust off of his sandwiches when he ate them at home, but when he packed his lunch he left them on. He could drink an entire box of wine by himself, but he typically stopped after two glasses, and he always asked if you wanted him to pour you one. He talked to his siblings a lot, but never his parents, and he really enjoyed watching dog videos on his phone while sitting on the couch as you tried to watch your show.

And when he laughed, he belly laughed, and you couldn't help but smile softly to yourself when he did.

Despite how taciturn he may have been, he was still good company, even if you were just sitting on opposite ends of the sofa doing your own thing. He always thanked you when you would leave leftovers in the fridge with a sticky note that had his name on it, and you started making sure that you made enough for two. When he came home late on the weekends, he tried his absolute hardest to do so quietly, but with those hardwood floors, it was almost impossible. He'd wake you up every single time, but you would never say anything. It was hardly an inconvenience after the many nights you'd fall asleep to the sound of him softly strumming his guitar in the next room.

And yet, you just couldn't help but wait for the other shoe to drop. Because it had to, right? Surely this would be a nightmare; God finally sending a punishment for your sins and giving him the face of a literal angel for shits and giggles. You weren't entirely convinced he wasn't Karma-In-Disguise, as the only other option was just too good to be true. It just couldn’t be that you agreed to live with someone you had previously never met simply because someone that you really didn’t know said you should and by some miracle it actually worked out? 

Absolutely not.

You were not that lucky. 

One morning you woke to find Aegon in the kitchen, standing at the counter, making himself a cup of tea. He had already brewed a pot of coffee for you and there was a box of assorted pastries sitting on the table, one of which he was holding between his teeth as he poured a splash of milk into his cup. He turned to you, leaning against the counter and took a bite out of his scone.

"What's this?" You quirked an eyebrow as you studied the scene.

"A 'thank you', I s'pose," he shrugged, voice deep with residual exhaustion. He scratched at the short stubble on his chin, almost nervously, "It's been like a month since I moved in ‘ere, and, to be honest, I wasn't really expectin’ you to let me stay longer than a week."

You laughed softly and took a few steps deeper into the kitchen, taking note of how comfortable the space was with his presence in it. You couldn't ignore the way your pulse quickened at the sight of him in this light; the way the soft, morning sun bounced off of his blonde hair like a halo. He stayed right where he was as you moved around him; his tired, blue eyes following as you grabbed your favorite mug and a spoon from the drawer.

"To be honest, I wasn't expecting you to want to stay," you mentioned as you stood next to him and added two scoops of sugar to your cup. Your eyes flickered up to meet his stare, which was so blue you might as well have been looking up at the sky itself. "We're basically strangers."

"I wouldn't say that," he shrugged, lips curling into a small smirk, and you had to stop looking at him before you spilled coffee all over yourself.

"Oh? What are we then?" You asked, feeling your cheeks warming slightly as you averted your gaze.

"Not strangers," you could hear the smirk in his tone; his gaze lingering for a moment longer before he took another bite of his pastry and pushed himself off the counter. "Besides," he added, taking a few steps towards the living room before glancing back at you. "A stranger wouldn't know your favorite bakery."

You laughed softly through your nose, realizing that your new roommate had just confessed to eavesdropping on your late-night FaceTime calls with your best friend. Not that he really had a choice—the walls were paper-thin, after all. Just two days ago, you’d mentioned how badly you were craving a chocolate croissant, but how they always seemed to sell out before you could get one. Now, as you flipped open the top of the cardboard box, your stomach sank. A sudden jolt of realization shot through you, followed by a nauseating wave of panic. 

There they were. 

Four chocolate croissants, neatly packed and staring back at you.

“Fuck.”

[wannaeatramyeon]

The Crew Heads with Reader: Television

G/N. (Jake Kim, Eli Jang, Johan Seong, Samuel Seo).

Bro Code | Dinner | Shopping | Television | Gacha | Board Games | Suits

Samuel replaces your old crackly television-

A relic from the 90s where you can almost count the pixels and a logo is permanently burned into the screen-

with a 4k monstrosity.

Jake's choice of words but monstrosity is a bit harsh, Eli thinks. Knowing Samuel-

(and Eli does now know him too well to bear thinking about. Seriously, how on earth has that happened?! but that's a train of thought for another time.)

It'll be the best. Top of the line and no expenses spared.

Except.

"It's too big," Eli comments as Jake starts to rip open the cardboard and packaging.

"Yep," Jake grins. Focused on the task at hand though never giving up an opportunity to rib Samuel, "70 inches for Y/N's tiny apartment. Can tell you dropped out of middle school."

"Shut up," is all Samuel manages to muster and the other two snort in response.

Samuel scoffs. Refuses to admit that yes, it is far too big. That only now he has realised it'll take up at least half the dividing wall between the living room and your bedroom, and there is nowhere near enough space to get a good viewing distance.

Which, by the way, has nothing to do with being a dropout.

Refusing to sink to their level and asinine comments, he continues to supervise. Watching Eli now joining to rip away the plastic and styrofoam and cardboard. Doesn't lift a finger to help. Why should he? He's already opened his wallet.

.

.

"Hey, brat," Jake shouts. Even with his and Eli's immense strength, they struggle to manoeuvre the awkwardly oversized, unwieldy object to position on the wall. "Come help out if you wanna join in in anymore movie nights."

Everyone knows 'brat' is Johan, who is currently lounging on the sofa. The insult having been tossed out casually one time by you, then adopted by everyone else because, hey - it's apt.

Johan rolls his eyes. Unglues himself from the sofa and acts as if this is an absolute waste of his time. That he has been thoroughly put out by needing to help these idiots.

But the additional pair of hands make quick work of hanging up the TV. Eli and Johan holding opposite sides as Jake tightens the screws.

Once done, all three stand back to admire their handiwork and the new screen. The sleek lines and shiny edging.

Oohs and aahs as Samuel flicks through the channels and sets it up.

United for once in front of the new technology, like cavemen when fire was first discovered.

.

.

You step back to take in the screen.

Then another.

And another.

And another-

The back of your legs hits the sofa. You start to flail but Eli grips you around the waist, steadying you before you stumble.

Huh. There are no more steps to take and the screen is still fucking huge.

(The quiet unnerved you when you first step foot through the door. You're used to coming home to voices raised and squabbling. The occasional broken ornament, dented pan, broken chair.

You had walked in to find them all looking equally pleased, which unnerved you even more.

Until you noticed the new television.)

"Thanks Sammy." You smile at him and he ignores the heat rising to his cheeks, "This is great. Really. But isn't it a bit... big?"

Eli chuckles as Jake stage-whispers, "Sammy failed math,"

"Samuel," Sammy corrects, out of habit more than anything, "I'm only being considerate of Johan's shit eyesight."

Johan doesn't bother to look up from his phone. "Fuck off, four eyes."

[bird-in-the-space]

Painting Incident 5#

You, Skywarp, and the twins end up in a troublesome situation after getting kidnapped by the Quintessons. Luckily, you have an idea how to get yourself and your friends out of it.

Warnings: Big booms.

-----------------------------------------------

*Inside a Quintesson ship, you, Skywarp, Frenzy and Rumble run away from Quintessons after escaping your prison cells.*

*You come to a room and block the door, causing the green monstrosities to slam against it.*

You: *Look around but found no exit in the room.*

Skywarp: Frag! It's a deadend!

*The Quintessons slam against the door, trying to break in.*

Rumble: *Scared* What should we do?

You: *Silently panicking* Uh… I don't know!

*The Quintessons shriek behind the door as they ram against it.*

Skywarp: *Points an accusing finger at you.* I'm never gonna join in your paint hunts again after this!

You: How was I supposed to know they would suddenly kidnap us?!

*Before*

You: *Walking across the terrain.* Come on guys, the ore should be right around here.

Frenzy & Rumble: *gigling as they follow you.*

Skywarp: *Following behind you and the twins* I get why Starscream asked me to join you for your protection. The surface is pretty dangerous with the Quintessons around, but why are the twins here?

You: They asked to join, and I couldn't say no. And technically, I do need their help in mining the ore I'm looking for.

Skywarp: Did Soundwave gave you permission? He's usually pretty protective of his minicons.

You: Meh. You know I have a soft spot for kids. And besides Soundwave has eyes and ears all around Cybertron, he would have stopped us before we left if he thought the twins wouldn't be safe with me.

Skywarp: Figures. Anyway, what kind of rock are we looking for that we have to come all over here?

You: Oh, it's a type of ore that grows near the fire rivers. It's mostly used for fuel, but carefully handled -- it can be used for paint.

Skywarp: Hold up. We're on a paint hunt?

You: Actually, Alchemist asked me to retrieve some of it because we're out of stock. He mostly uses it to experiment with different explosives because its incredibly combustible due to the environment where it grows. But I found out it's mineral can be turned to paint which can give a unique texture, and if you want an art piece with burnt effect, carefully handled you can use it to create burning art.

Skywarp:*Chuckles* Okay nerd.

Frenzy: Hey, (Name), over here. Is this the ore you're looking for?!

Frenzy & Rumble: *standing near a red glowing ore*

You: Oh, you found it! Wonderful job! Now, I just take a one good cluster and we should be good to go.

You: *Grabs a cluster of the red ore and store it in your spare space.*

Skywarp: Unbelievable, I could be napping during my break, yet here I am…

Frenzy & Rumble: *Gets a net thrown over them and pulled away. They let out a yelp. *

You: *Notice but before you could do anything, you get grabbed by tentacles and pulled into the shadows.*

Skywarp: …Babysitting the twins and a nerd who wants to make explosive paint. *finally notices you and the twins gone*... Guys?

Skywarp: *Looks around, unaware of the tentacles behind him* You know, this is not a good time for jokes. How about we just ---! * he yelps as he gets snatched by the Quintesson.*

*After*

*the Quintessons scream and nearly break through the door*

Frenzy: The door won't hold any longer!

Skywarp: We have to find a way out. Otherwise we will become their test subjects. Any ideas!?"

You: I have one, but you won't like it. Frenzy. Hold this. *Give him the red ore.*

Skywarp: *Watches you take out your paint brush.* What are you intending to do?

You: Well, if we can't find a way out, then we just have to make one. The blue paint will protect us from the blast. *Splashes him with blue paint.*

Skywarp: Ah! not again! *Watches as the blue paint materializes around him.*

You: *Splash yourself with blue paint then grab the twins beneath your arms.*

You: Prepare yourself! *Use your paintbrush to levitate the ore, feeding it energy and sparks. The ore began to convulse and glow with light.*

*The Quintessons break through the door.*

*Outside the Quintesson ship*

Starscream: *Standing at a distance with the High Guard* Alright, this should be the ship where they keep (Name), Skywarp, and the twins. We must be quick in their rescue, and hope they haven't already fallen to terrible experiments by the hands of those monsters.

*A giant explosion suddenly burst from within the Quintesson ship, causing colorful smoke to rise toward the sky*

You & Skywarp: *Scream as you fall from the sky inside blue giant rubbery balls that bounce against the ground.*

Starscream & High guard: *Watch as you bounce and then land in front of them. *

You: *Your ball stops bouncing and spins a few time until it stops, your and the twin's heads outside the blue ball. *

You:*Smiles after recovering from the dizziness* Oh, hey Star. Don't worry we managed to escape without harm.

Rumble: Haha! That was fun!

Frenzy: Yeah. Let's do it again!

Skywarp: *Rolling on the background inside his blue ball* Can I get some help over here?

[bl4ckorch1d]

SHACKLE // Buckthorne Woods

Male Naga OC / GN! Reader

1.5k Words || AO3

Slight horror themes.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The forest was almost deadly silent, an oddity for such a usually lively place. One place once visited by many turned abandoned acres. Though it wasn’t a mystery, the nation needed a specific place for the things they deemed ‘unsightly’ for their aesthetic modernized cities. It seemed not even the birds wanted to stick around, not wanting to become prey to either fangs or claws. 

Buckthorne Woods, a name known by many and feared just the same. It only seemed like a few years ago until the humans decided ‘monsters’ can’t roam free on their own free will anymore. Almost seems like they got bored of fighting themselves and moved on to a different area of the food tree. While the woods were certainly one of the largest in the nation, it still was nowhere near big enough to hold every ‘monstrosity’ that roamed the land; their population almost became cut in half due to this. Not much of a chance for a bloom either, while the forest dwellers stay among their own types and don’t fight with each other over land, most refuse to bring a child into such a hate-filled world. Some kinds are becoming almost extinct; mostly the less humanoid they look, the lesser their number is. 

A waterfall was all that truly broke the silence in this specific part of the forest, a beautiful sight almost no one will ever know exists. All that accompanied other than the lush forest greens was a small opening to a cavern, only lit by the sun shining into it.

═.✾. ═══════

The water rippled against the paddles that ran through it, a canoe accompanied by a lone fisher. Setting your canoe under light shading, between the endless green that surrounded your figure. With the paddle set aside, you are in high hopes for fish above the average. With your dominant hand gripping your fishing pole, in a single swoop, you swing the line into the water. A small splash accompanied the bobber as it broke the surface tension of the water. The rays of the sun crack through the open spaces of shade, your skin embracing the slight heat. Eyes steady for any slight pull, you sit there tense. A slight tug on the pole, “Finally, a bite.” you hum to yourself. As you go to start reeling in, your body suddenly drags forward, slamming at the edge of the canoe almost tipping over. You try balancing yourself all while whatever was hooked squirmed around violently in the water, splashing and sending slight waves in all directions. Stubbornly, you began pulling back in panic and hurry, but all this action resulted in was a loud snap. Your back harshly hits the bottom of the canoe, as it sways from side to side. “Damn it”, you thought to yourself, “Should have brought spares.”, as you looked down at the snapped pole.

  At this point, your only goal was to find your way home after that experience. The river only went in one direction, and you swore you remembered which way you came from. So why did it feel so ominously wrong? Paddling through the water, you had expected to find the subtle tracks you left behind to get back out of the forest. The endless overgrown verdure shielded most of your view, but you could hear the heavy sound of water crashing against itself. You knew at that moment that you were completely lost. Your phone was rendered useless without an ounce of service, and the map you brought was drenched from the fishing disaster. The idea of making it back seemed like a pipe dream. It was late evening, and by the time you could even make it back to your fishing spot, the forest would be enveloped by complete darkness. Heading on towards the sound of the water, your eyes were met with an enchanting sight. A waterfall with almost crystal clear water in the pool below it, the scene looked straight out of a magazine. Looking past the constant pouring, there was a cavern hidden slightly beside the falls. Seemed to be your last resort for a place to reside. Paddling on, you dock your canoe as close to the cavern as you can without it getting completely flooded. Grabbing any salvageable supplies, you adventure forward to the mouth of the cavern. 

Nothing seems odd at first glance, a few spiders with their webs seem to be the only company you’ll have tonight. You drop your bag only a few feet into the cavern, far enough to be protected from the elements but close enough to still see outside. The cavern seemed to split into many tunnels further along and that just seemed like a horrible idea to adventure in your current state. Luckily your small blanket had survived the onslaught of water, a small comfort in your hellish predicament. If it wasn’t for the bed of rocks you laid on, you could almost trick yourself into thinking the waterfall was a sound machine when you shut your eyes.

◦ • • • • • • • ◦

Pains shot up your left leg, and you could feel the bile burning in the back of your throat as you lurched awake. Your eyes water as you lose the fight against your nausea. Choking as the last bit of bile makes it out of your mouth. Reaching for your backpack so you can fish out your thermostat to rid the aftertaste of vomit. Instead of the bag, your hand meets straw. You aren’t where you fell asleep. Panic rises in your system as you notice your left leg has swollen like a balloon and the leg beside it has a glistening silver shackle around it.  

You try to make sense of the rest of your surroundings. You seem to be at a dead end of one of the tunnels you spotted earlier. A small fire lights the area with the smoke billowing out into a tiny hole within the wall. If that hole led outside, it seems it is still night. You can’t spot your bag anywhere in the room, there wasn’t much of anything other than the small straw bed you laid upon and the small fire. Oh, and of course the shackle around your ankle that seemed to glisten as it taunted you. Yanking on it seemed to only deliver more pain to the opposite leg as you slightly moved. The chain connected to it was rooted deep into the cave wall, you’d need a jackhammer to even hope to remove it. 

Seems like you really should have listened to all the warning signs you saw at the entrance of the forest, instead of delusionally hoping no harm would have come to you. Now you lay prisoner to some mystery creature. Yelling seemed pointless as no other humans would be anywhere near the entrance of the cavern, and you couldn’t tell how deep you were into it. The noise would also likely attract whatever trapped you, but that almost seemed better than willowing alone in pain. So, you did as any white girl would do in a cheesy horror film and yelled out, “Is anybody there?” . . . A weird mix of relief and disappointment washed over you as silence was your only response. Not even the slightest rustle, only the crackling of embers. 

A sigh escaped your lips, almost masking the slight foreign noise just outside from where you could see. Nausea hits like a typhoon once you lay eyes on who you guessed to be your captor. A naga male, he could almost be mistaken for a model if it wasn’t for the tail that replaced where legs would be. “The rabbit finally awakens I see.” A silky deeper voice, one that overenunciated its s’ by quite a bit. His tan upper half shifted as he went to throw the sticks into the dying fire. Once he moved closer you could finally get a good look at him, his snake side resembling a ‘tiger snake’ with the black and yellow banding. A sharp jawline matched, with sharp golden brown eyes. Black hair tied messily into a bun. Could be worse, much better than some smelly goblin at least.  Your internal monologue was disrupted as he moved to you, getting closer to your swollen leg. “Suprised it hasn’t turned purple yet.” He let out a snide hiss as he poked it, his smile widening as you whimpered out in pain. “But don’t worry, it’s only been mere hours. It’ll swell much more by morning.” A prideful huff as those sharp eyes glanced down at you. He was obviously mocking you, and you could only grit your teeth in response. His hand swatting at you, “No need for that, I’m not going to let it get that bad dear.” The tone made him seem so condescending that you wouldn’t be surprised if he bit you again, right in the same puncture wounds. “Now, give me a second, don’t go anywhere!” . . . Maybe a goblin would have been better. His form quickly slithers out of the area leaving nothing but the sounds of embers once again.

═══════ .✾. ═

[dinthoqaf]

Describe Dinthoqaf’s appearance before and after the ‘transformation’ he underwent. Don’t spare any details for the sake of length. Share as much or as little as you like!

Dinthoqaf has always looked like Alexander Skarsgard but raven hair is the best way to explain his appearance if we wanted a face claim and how he'd look when under his illusions to keep his physical corruptions hidden from the public. His before transformation with no illusion spells though was gnarly, to say the least. To help with it, it might be best to explain some of his wounds with how he became the monstrosity that his recent transformation freed him from being. TW: Wound/Gore/Blood Warning? Dinthoqaf has taken a lot of damage over the years. During an event he took a Night Elf arrow in the face, actually in the left cheek bone. When this happened, it caused his left eye to come free, damaging it in the process. While in recovery, Nezzok (an Undead Troll that is one of Din's closest confidants) and a Forsaken Deathknight by the name of Lattimer got together to find an accommodating replacement. They ended up hunting down a Faceless (Yep, one of the Old God Squid Guy Mobs) and summarily killed it and with a mix of Voodoo and Necromancy, took the eye and forced Dins body to accept it as his own. This alien eye caused a surge of 'issues' with his appearance, the likes of which being a swath of corrupted skin across the left side of his fair that went up into his hair line, thinning a portion of his hair as it claimed his scalp too. The eyes of course, didn't quite match either due to one being of fel corruption as the other was Old God/Eldritch in nature.

(Artwork here provided by a friend of my oldest son who for some reason felt like his artwork wasn't worthy enough of being 'Comms grade worthy', so I try to show it off when possible. <3) The rest of Din's body was marked with thick black veins, and mottled purple flesh across his torso and thighs as well due to the corruptive nature that was the old god parasite that had been affixed to his body by his father Krownos. Other wounds continued to make him an even larger monster hiding amongst the population as he suffered losing an arm to a blast of formic acid by a particularly nasty hive of Silithid. In an effort to not become a burden, and to prove he had a place to continue leading The Sanctum, he was forced to accept further Old God Corruption where he was 'blessed' with a tentacular arm. (Also similar to that of the Faceless.) His right arm, while missing bones entirely due to this, was aided in its illusion to appear 'normal' by the fact that Dinthoqaf never went without long sleeves and gloves as the tendrils got small enough that he was able to slip them into a glove and learned how to operate them as if they were a normal appendage. At this point, that was the mass majority of Dins previous form and he really looked similar to the artwork above. Now however, Dinthoqaf looks like a near-perfect Alexander Skarsgard, save for longer hair, a few tiny/thin braids, and two lines along his face that travel from the corners of his lips back toward his jawline. These lines are easy to miss and overlook at the moment but should his body continue to change after his most recent transformation, he may end up finding himself looking like the breed of a very different beast than he was before... ( Thank you for asking @sanguinesorceress ! I know the details are probably a bit over the top for WoW RP, but I'm a firm believer that Void/Old God Magic is just as physically corruptive as it can be mentally damning. So I took inspiration from Wow's (at the time) large gaps in Old God Lore and applied some Warhammer corruption twists into it all. )

[pixel-sherman]

Chapter 1: Spearhead

“Little battle brother,” the servo skull floating beside him perked up at the call, “begin data slate recording.”

The skull whirred, processing the command.

“Recording, begin message.”

“Mission Log: Emperor only knows how many days, how many months, how many years. This is Lieutenant Luctus of the Angels Resolute, 1st company. I am once again facing down the warp fiend who has plagued the later part of my life. If you are hearing this, there are two possibilities. Either I have failed, and the pool of blood, and possible accompanying body, if my enemy does not take it to defile, belongs to me. Or, I have succeeded, and my gene flaw will have finally finished the job. Continuing where it left off all those years ago, from my hands and feet. In which case, the statue standing in front of you is what is left of me. I implore you, whoever is hearing this, to please return me to the Angels Resolute, so that I may join the other mourners, and serve the Emperor as stone. In pain or sorrow. In flesh or stone. End recording.”

“Eject the data slate for me, little brother.” requested Luctus.

As the servo skull dropped the slate on the ground, it floated up to look the lieutenant in the face. The machine spirit lamented the thought of never seeing his master again. Luctus looked back at the floating monstrosity. He chuckled to himself at the sight of the Astartes helmet clumsily slid over the skull.

“I’ll be fine, little brother, the bastard will probably just run away,” Luctus sighed, “like always.”

He marched forward, determined to end the berserker rage his heretical cousin ignited inside him centuries ago. The gift granted to his chapter, that, should they fall to rage, the stone sorrow might let them finish their battle, unimpeded for the first time, before claiming its victim. For the first time, he felt the rush of all the emotions he had to keep in check. His sorrow, once threatening to entomb him, then fueled his rage. His rage, once threatening to claim him, then fueled his slaughter. Heretic after heretic fell by his hand. And, when the dust settled, he accepted the cold stone, beginning to claim his extremities. Until he saw him.

“It seems I’ve caught up to you again, cousin Reams.” taunted Luctus, as he rounded the peak of the asteroid he stood upon.

The chaos sorcerer snorted, “Bold of you to assume I didn’t lead you here on purpose, dear lieutenant.”

“You really think I’d jump into a warp portal without knowing you’d be behind it?”

“Foolish angel, if that was a warp portal, the gods would have smashed you to bits ages ago. No, the view you see behind me is the great rift. Quite the set piece, no? We’re dangerously close, and it feels…” the sorcerer took a deep breath, reveling in the closeness to his dark gods, “Soooo goooooooood.” the fiend cackled.

The eyes of Luctus’ stoic, black death mask shined. On his right hand, his stone power sword crackled, as if it were still real. On his right hand, his stone plasma pistol hummed to life. The lieutenant readied himself, and leaped towards the massive rock in front of him, aiming for Reams. With only a foot to spare, the sorcerer appeared behind Luctus, and grabbed his foot, swinging him away. Luctus landed on another asteroid and fired toward Reams. Luctus knew he’d never land a shot, he needed to goad Reams into melee range.

Reams grew bored of effortlessly dodging every one of Luctus’ shots. He zipped right in front of his foe and drove his spear forward like a lightning bolt. Luctus barely jerked his head away in time. With his opening clear, he threw himself at Reams. The two were sent, careening through the void, Luctus hammering into Reams with his blade. Reams, thoroughly tired of being beaten, wrenched Luctus’s arms free and kicked him off. Luctus landed on another rock and aimed his pistol up, anticipating his opponent's move. Reams zipped to his spear and pulled it free from the stone. When he turned to face his enemy, a well timed plasma shot greeted his cheek. Reams reeled from the blow, barely composing himself enough to zip above Luctus.

“Alright, cousin, if that’s how you want to play it, then say hello to my little friend.” snarled Reams.

He reached into the air, closing his eyes in a psychic search. Then, he clasped his hand around nothing.

“There you are.” cooed Reams.

He threw down his arm, as if throwing a lance, and quickly zipped off. Far above Luctus, a strange warp energy appeared. A portal rackled and sizzled open, and through it, came an Imperial Navy frigate. The ship came crashing toward Luctus at a breakneck speed. He turned to the right, Reams had already opened another portal to escape. Between dying under the weight of a massive warp vessel or finally completing his quest, Luctus chose to run after Reams. The stone under him crumbled as he ran. Reams began stepping through the portal, waving at Luctus as he got away. Luctus frantically fired his pistol toward Reams. The ground under Luctus crumbled, and he was launched toward the void. The ship came down, deeper and deeper into the asteroid field. The portal was closing, smaller and smaller. Luctus used plasma fire to correct his trajectory. Until, he felt something yank him backward. As he turned to see what had happened, a piece of debris smacked his helmet.

[seeminglyseph]

There’s…. Something. In the fact that like in Polyphemus;

A trade, you see? A gift from you and a gift from me

where Odysseus sort of. in one case he is being extremely presumptuous of Polyphemus' intelligence and generosity by sort of... hoping he can set either set the value of the sheep and barter it down from blood to wine, without taking the actual truth of the barter into consideration "trespassing and murder, a violation of hospitality of a powerful being who is childlike, but not stupid. Who is monstrous but prideful as the son of a god."

Odysseus views Polyphemus as someone he can look down on because Odysseus has been a King At War for the past decade, and Polyphemus is a non-citizen monstrosity. like. he's a physical threat at the moment but politically Odysseus has been providing for his men by raiding and pillaging for 10 years. In his head he's a raiding king and this shepherd should be grateful for having his life spared. The original Odyssey is being told about and to people in the act of colonial expansion and war and it asked its audience simply to consider the concept of. like. When your armies go to war and raid villages and stuff for food, killing and enslaving the people. Whose children are they? What will their children become? (And hey, it's still a valid story worth telling today, who knew, that's why they call 'em the classics!)

it's kind of present in the whole treatment of Polyphemus and the Cyclops Saga as a whole. He goes on a raiding party, shoots first and asks questions later, presumes to set a value on what he damaged, presumes that the agreement is settled based on his own statement of it, then presumes his own act of mercy will be enough to undo the acts of hostility he's already taken, and the breaches of hospitality he has committed that need to be answered for. Like he might have maybe almost declared war with the "I am the reigning king of Ithaca... ...Odysseus!" thing. like. you're lucky the price was named at 600, honestly? I don't. Remember how the Odyssey ends. But like. you literally could have declared Ithaca at war with Poseidon and like. Girliepop you live on an island.

It presents again kind of and is like... kind of directly called out in Ruthlessness multiple times because like Jorge fully knows what's up and that's a blast, and Ruthlessness is like. so much theme packed into one song that like. Truly. The most Villain Song to Ever Villain Song. Because it draws on every weakness and insecurity of our protagonist and pulls them up to the surface for everyone to see. And then we get that last Evil of Pandora's Jar and Poseidon offers to let it go with a full apology for the trespasses against his son. And

Poseidon, we meant no harm We only hurt him to disarm him We took no pleasure in his pain We only wanted to escape

Odysseus lies, technically. In Odysseus' memory the crime they committed was attacking and blinding Polyphemus, so it makes sense, probably Poseidon is upset about Polyphemus being injured, Odysseus is constantly thinking about his son and going home, and Poseidon asked for an apology for his pain and cries so in his head, the first offense is when Polyphemus attacked them and they had to defend themselves to save their lives. He has fully failed to factor in the concept that he has trespassed on Poseidon's son's home and killed his sheep and caused him to grieve, then given him a poisoned wine and attempted to kill him when a price has been demanded in return for the violation of hospitality committed against him.

Odysseus has not reached a point where he considers Polyphemus something on a level of respect high enough that he could have some kind of hospitality to be respected. Odysseus is still a conqueror who breached the impenetrable walls of Troy. He'd seen sons of gods die horrible deaths in the last ten years. I feel like life feels wrong a million times over??? But he's entirely wrong in the scope of Poseidon's rage and sense of justice. Because some things are obligations as much as they are about compassion.

like. You trespassed against Polyphemus and left a calling card, Polyphemus went to his father to request a price be paid in blood for the trespasses that were done to him, Poseidon must honour this request made by his son or he will be known not to punish those who trespass against him and those who are his family or followers. If he cannot punish those who trespass against his own, then he cannot defend himself and is weak and unworthy of respect. He cannot allow the possibility of this disrespect to foster, for if he ask something great of his followers he needs them to give without question, knowing that he will defend them from others who would trespass upon them. Like the mob I guess? They are swimming with the shark now. oh no

so I feel like Odysseus' trait as a Trickster Hero is honestly what bites him, if he had been like. a traditionally noble King he might have been able to talk his way out of this, theoretically. If he had stopped escalating. because further trespasses require further payment.

Also this last bit is wild speculation but if Odysseus trespasses upon Poseidon's son and declares himself and his kingdom and Athena did not cut ties with him, would it create like. the god equivalent of like. fucking international incident? Poseidon and Athena go to war because her Warrior of the Mind doxxed himself in Sicily.

Anyway I need to stop typing now.

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Tempus Fugit (4x17)

The Headless Woman’s Pub was crowded wall-to-wall with red-faced employees of the Federal Government who had traveled the measly few blocks after work— despite the fact that it was a Sunday. As far as Val could tell, these people never took a day off.

Before getting this gig, he always imagined the feds drank like they were in one of those film noirs, pulling a handle of whiskey out of their desk and mulling over it after a hard case. He thought being an FBI Agent must’ve been so cool and mysterious.

“Oh shit!” a voice slurred from the other side of the room.

Val glanced over and saw that kid from the Violent Crimes Unit wiping spilled beer off of his date’s lap.

After getting this gig, he realized everything he used to think about the feds was bullshit. 

These were some of the most depressed fuckers he’d ever met. The ones that got the job for the glory would inevitably crash and burn, and the good ones would be haunted by the evils they saw. He couldn’t blame any of them for needing to indulge at the end of the day, but, Christ— J. Edgar himself would blush at the things these people said when they were drunk. He was starting to wonder if there was a single desk in that building that hadn’t been defiled. Though that was nothing compared to the guy who drank himself under the table because the ‘alien-guy’ stole his job. Val still didn’t know what the hell that meant, but he could still hear the way that guy kept muttering “fucking grey.”

“Excuse me.”

Glancing up, he saw a tall guy easing himself in between two people sitting at the bar. “Do you have a tab started?” Val asked.

“No, uh, I actually had a favor to ask,” the man clarified while his hands fidgeted against the bar’s wooden ledge.

Glancing around and seeing everyone’s drinks were full, Val stopped what he was doing and replied, “Shoot.”

Lanky started fumbling around with the pocket of his suit coat, and he began to worry the guy was gonna pull out his badge. They were too damn short-staffed to spare anyone for a twenty-minute interrogation about some drunk guy making a fool of himself after having one too many.

But agitation quickly made way for confusion when he was presented with one of those pink Hostess monstrosities. Ho Ho? Zapper? Chocodile Kazbars? Whatever the hell it was called, it should be illegal to put coconut in anything that was supposed to be called a dessert.

“I’m on a diet,” he deadpanned.

Ignoring his comment, the man tried to fluff the pink ball back into shape after presumably squashing in his pocket. “The woman I came in with— it’s her birthday, and she loves these things. I was wondering if there was any way you could ask someone in the back to put it on a plate and bring it out to her?”

Now that was a new one, especially for a shithole like this place. “Ya mean like Chili’s?”

“Well, hey, I certainly won’t say no if you have any sombreros hidden away in the kitchen,” he chuckled, looking over his shoulder as if to make sure his date wasn’t getting suspicious. Then, as if nervous Val would say no, he added, “They don’t have to sing Happy Birthday or anything. I know you guys are busy and—”

Interrupting the man’s rambling, he grabbed the pink cream ball. “What’s her name?”

“Scully.”

Val’s eyebrows rose at that. “She related to Vin? I was more of a Jerry Doggett fan myself.”

The guy exhaled a laugh, but then he shook his head. “No, and sorry, actually.” He spared another glance over his shoulder, and this time Val looked with him. It must’ve been the redhead who was glancing around, presumably searching for her boyfriend. He watched the shy smile that spread across her lips as her eyes met the man’s, and damn if she wasn’t one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen. Her man must’ve known that too based on the nervous smirk that was on his face when he turned back around. “Dana. Her name is Dana,” he clarified, straightening out his tie.

It was common for Val to see men bring women from the office out for a drink in the hopes they’d get some. This might’ve been the first time he’d seen a fella do something thoughtful for his lady. Even if it was a 99¢ piece of garbage. “I’ll pass this to your waiter. I’m sure he can fix it up for Dana.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” Dana’s boyfriend replied. Val watched as he slid a five into the tip jar and started to make his way back to the table.

“Hey buddy,” Val called out, causing the man to turn around. “Ya told her you were going to come up and get drinks, didn’t ya?”

“Oh!” he exclaimed with an embarrassed wince, rushing back to the bar. Across the room, behind the man’s back, the woman’s brows furrowed and her lips quirked into an amused smirk as she watched him fumble to retrieve his wallet. “Thanks. Uh, one water and one vodka tonic, please. It’ll go under the name Mulder.”

After he sent Mulder on his way, he watched him take long strides back to the woman who was digging into their shared appetizer. He must’ve said something funny because the redhead started laughing and shaking her head. Val was impressed with how suave the guy was being after how nervous he had just been.

“D-did that man say his name was Mulder?”

Val turned and saw a meek, blonde woman sitting at the bar, not far from where the man in question had just been.

Val shrugged while trying to flag down a waiter, “Yeah. Know him?”

She glanced at the couple over her shoulder before turning back to face him, nervously playing with the cuff of her sleeve. “He’s a friend of the family.”

Read the rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Archive of Our Own!

@gaycrouton

Happy Birthday Dana Scully!

[melishade]

Hey, have you seen that AOT animatic where the squad was singing Bohemian Rhapsody? I was wondering, if in the TFP kids AU, one of the kids let the 104th hear the song, do you think they would sing it? What do you think?

Clearly you haven't seen drinkyourfuckingmilk's comic on Levi, Hanji, and Erwin banging out to Bohemian Rhapsody. Speaking of which. Here an old thing I wrote way back when based on the chaos of the comic.

“We sang that!” Hanji exclaimed, “Or we tried too!”

Miko and Jack looked at each other before looking back at the Commander.

“You sang ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’?” Jack asked.

“You know ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’?” Miko asked in disbelief.

“Yes!” Hanji smiled, “Well, not the whole thing! Just that part before the guitar! Me, Erwin, and Levi got really drunk one night and started saying the nonsense! We didn’t even know what it was! We even wrote it down! We started singing about Galeleeo-,”

“Galileo,” Erwin corrected.

“Busy Bee-,”

“Beelzebub,”

“And a silhouette of a man?” Hanji guessed.

“Holy shit! You guys know ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’!” Miko smiled, “You gotta sing with us!”

“Fuck that,” Levi stated.

“Yes!” Hanji smiled.

Erwin merely shrugged.

“This should be fun,” Jean remarked as the younger Corp members watched.

“Raf! Rewind before the guitar solo!” Miko told him.

Rafael rewound the song and the piano began to play.

“I see a little silhouette-to of a man!” Miko sang.

“Scaramouch! Scaramouch will you do the Fandango!” Hanji joined in.

“Thunderbolts of lightening! Very, very frightening me!” they both sang as Miko played the guitar.

“Galileo,” Jack joined for the fun of it.

“Galileo,” Miko smiled.

“Galileo,” Hanji sang.

“Galileo Figaro!” they sang together.

“Magnificoooo!” Rafael joined in.

“I’m just a poor boy. Nobody loves me,” Erwin sang.

“No!” Levi exclaimed.

“He’s just a poor boy! From a poor family! Spare him his life from this monstrosity!” they all sang.

“How did we get here?” Jean asked.

“Hell if I know!” Connie exclaimed.

“I’m leaving,” Levi declared as he prepared to walk away.

“No! We will not let you go!” Hanji sang as she pulled Levi back.

“Let me go!” Levi shouted.

“Bismillah!”Jack and Miko sang.

“We will not let you go!” Rafael and Erwin sang.

“Let me-no!” Levi shouted as he realized he was saying the lyrics. He wasn’t sure if it was on accident or on purpose.

Armin felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Megatron along with Optimus behind him, looking incredulously at the sight.

“I really don’t know,” Armin answered.

“Well the dwarf is suffering, so I’ll see where this leads.” Megatron proclaimed.

“No!” Levi shouted as he covered his ears.

“No! No!No!No!No!NO!” they practically shouted.

“Oh, Mama Mia! Mama Mia!” Jack sang.

“Mama Mia, let me go!” All of them sang, “Beelzebub, has a devil put aside for me!”

Hanji appeared on Levi’s left.

“For meee!”Erwin appeared on his right.

Rafael intentionally stopped the music as all eyes turned to Levi. Levi glared at them and grumbled to himself.

“I really fucking hate you all,” Levi declared.

They all raised their ears expectantly.

“…For ME!” Levi sang really well, shocking the younger Survey Corps there.

“Whoo!” Miko cheered as she jumped and played the guitar solo.

(I guess this counts at an alternative scene lol.)

[strandnreyes]

tagged by @alrightbuckaroo @carlos-in-glasses @reyesstrand <3

a little more than usual because it’s a nice and happy part for a change

“Alright, let’s go try this chocolate thunder brownie.”

“Do you think Mateo will kill me if I get something else?” Carlos asks as he gets out.

TK shoots him a look from over the top of the car. “Oh, please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who likes pistachio.”

“I wasn’t going to get pistachio.”

“It’s butter pecan, isn’t it?” he asks like he’s personally offended. “Carlos, you have to understand that that’s worse.”

Carlos ignores him, scanning the packed tables for an open one. Nancy seems to notice the problem, too. “Should we grab one while you order?” she offers.

“Sure,” Carlos nods, listening to their orders and then following TK to the line. 

“Maple Walnut? Rum Raisin?” he reads off the menu posted next to the window. “C’mon, which one of these monstrosities is your favorite?”

“They can probably hear you, you know.” 

“I don’t think that sixteen year old behind the counter will care too much that I think Rum Raisin is a bad flavor.” 

“What if that’s the one I want?”

TK stares at him, dead serious, and says, “I’m not buying that for you.” 

Carlos raises a brow. “I didn’t know you were buying it for me at all.” TK doesn’t say anything to that, still studying the menu, and Carlos adds, “I was going to get mint chocolate chip. Is that an acceptable flavor for you?” 

“Toothpaste?” TK looks disgusted and Carlos shakes his head, laughing. 

“You’re impossible,” he mutters until he sees TK’s grin that shows he’s just joking.

They place their order and TK pays for all of them without thinking twice. He shoves the rest of his change in the tip jar and then he and Carlos shuffle over to the pick up window. 

“I’ll take a bite of yours and maybe Mateo will spare me,” Carlos decides after TK actually ordered Mateo’s recommended flavor.

TK looks affronted as he pulls out a stack of napkins from the dispenser. “Who said you’re getting a bite of mine?”

“Payment for the ride.” 

TK purses his lips, a gleam in his eyes as he leans closer to Carlos and murmurs, “I didn’t know we had that type of arrangement, Carlos.”

“Shut up,” Carlos rolls his eyes, hiding his smile at TK actually mentioning their deeper relationship for once. 

The bored teenager chooses that moment to come over with four cones and they take two each, carrying them to the group and bending their legs awkwardly to sit down at the sticky picnic table. TK’s knee brushes against Carlos’ and it remains there all through Mateo’s interrogation on why Carlos’ ice cream is green and Carlos steals TK’s cone, taking a lick to say he tried it. TK pretends to be disgruntled with how unsanitary it is, but they both know that he’s not exactly a stranger to Carlos’ tongue.

They were one of the last ones in line for the day which means the place starts clearing out while they finish their ice cream. Carlos licks off the bit that dripped down his thumb and then smiles while TK tries to find the bit of chocolate on the corner of his mouth. Carlos has mercy on him and takes the napkin, wiping it away. 

It’s dark by the time they’re bidding goodnight to Nancy and Mateo and TK takes advantage of that, leaning over the middle console of the car to kiss Carlos. Their tongues swirl together in a mix of both of the flavors. 

As Carlos is about to break some speeding laws to get them back to the house, TK points him in a different direction instead. He ends up parked at the end of a dead end road overlooking the bay where TK clambers over into the driver’s seat as soon as the car is off. His elbow hits the horn, his head bumps the ceiling, and his knee comes too close for comfort for Carlos to be up for anything that’s about to happen, but eventually he makes it to Carlos’ lap, laughing as Carlos scoots the chair back and they fall into a kiss.

tagging @three-drink-amy @heartstringsduet @liminalmemories21 @rmd-writes @taralaurel @welcometololaland @hoko-onchi-writes if you’d like!

[thereal-moonknight]

listening to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen and some lyrics reminded me of my Moon boys 💔

"Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun to his head, pull the trigger, now he's dead. Mama, life has just begun. But now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry."

Marc and Wendy

"But I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me. He's just a poor boy, from a poor family. Spare him his life from this monstrosity!"

Steven

"Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? No, we will not let you go (let him go)"

Marc and Khonshu

"Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth."

Jake

"I don't wanna die. I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all."

Marc

Sorry for the heartache. These lyric quotes reminded me of my favorite fathers

-👽

seems like I should start listening to queen more