#short break from tgcf

[seagreenlaurin]

🌻🩵🍃🌖

[kimbapchan]

After sleeping on it, I decided to just block the people on twitter who commented those things. It was better for my peace of mind and mental health. Idc if they think im punching down. I want to prioritize myself and my own mental health. I dont want them to see my work and further make me feel like I should be careful and walk on eggshells because of their overly sensitive political correctness.

I want to enjoy my creativity and share my designs/au’s with my REAL audience/readers who enjoy my work and support my creativity. Though I will probably still take a break from drawing mu qing to not further aggravate the situation, I will eventually put him back in the AU. I hope that’s ok with you guys.

I feel so much better knowing they no longer have access to my work. CURATE YOUR OWN ONLINE EXPERIENCE will forever be my internet mantra. Life is too short and I am an adult who just wants to enjoy my hobbies. I say, if I see ANY negativity while you interact with my work and it wouldnt be HELPFUL to me in any shape or form YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

Anyways, thankyou so much everyone for your kind and encouraging words. Again, i will continue to do the TGCF AU alongside my new SVSSS au. I’m just going to take a break from the xianle trio. You will see them again someday, especially in xianle flashbacks. I do have interesting backstories for the three besties.

[c-h-pictures]

TGCF as Taskmaster Part 2

Part 1

Hua Cheng: Hello and welcome everybody to a tantalising Taskmaster treat. I have decreed that ghosts take a new year's break from humiliation and I have sent my minions out to scoop up five players from the heavenly court. Some would say that they are fools to have said "yes", that their credibility in their area of expertise will be destroyed by appearing on this show. I am one of the people who would say that. I agree with that statement.

-

Hua Cheng: Let's meet them! *Motions to Qi Rong* Not Lang Qianqiu.

He Xuan: So, Lang Qianqiu is sick. He's sent his representative. Who is... Obviously... Qi Rong.

-

Hua Cheng: Xie Lian, what's your beguiling and unwieldy, shiny thing?

Xie Lian: I brought in a jar.

Hua Cheng: A jar?

Xie Lian: A pickle jar.

-

He Xuan: *waiting Xie Lian to open the task*

Xie Lian: *distracted by an old cookbook he found*

-

Hua Cheng: I was ever so excited when I heard you were coming on this show.

Shi Qingxuan: Oh no, don't!

Hua Cheng: Expecting a bit of glamour.

Shi Qingxuan: Ahh.

Hua Cheng: Reality is a man throwing an egg over a cow.

Shi Qingxuan: Okay, but let's just unravel that!

-

Xie Lian, steps out, mildly embarrassed, wearing shorts: 5 meters?

He Xuan: Yes.

Xie Lian: Now, what I had in mind, was this on the grass. But bearing the word "daring" in the task.

Xie Lian: I'm going to crawl on concrete.

-

Shi Wudu: Ooh, shots.

Pei Ming: This looks like a great night.

Shi Qingxuan: I'm a bad drunk. I had to have a nap at my own wedding.

-

Hua Cheng: Why did you have to have a nap at your wedding?

Shi Qingxuan: Because I had a glass of wine. And I went in there, thinking this was alcohol, and I wanted to point that out to He Xuan because all I'd had was a wotsit.

Hua Cheng: Hold on, is this wotsit separate to the pot noodles you had?

He Xuan: Uh, yes.

-

Shi Qingxuan: WHAT'S THAT? WHAT'S THAT?

Shi Qingxuan: Oh, I see what you've done. Sweet into sour. *Dips his finger into the "sour" to taste, immediately gags*

Shi Qingxuan: Can you taste that?

He Xuan: Uh, sure?

Shi Qingxuan: You can? Drink that, what is it?

He Xuan: Apple juice.

Shi Qingxuan: Ahhh...

-

He Xuan: For the rest of the day, he shouted at me.

Shi Qingxuan: In a nice way!

He Xuan: No.

Shi Qingxuan: I couldn't find the vinegar and I'm still mad about it to this day.

He Xuan: The real question is if there's any vinegar. There was one shot of vinegar.

Shi Qingxuan: YOU EVIL EVIL MAN!

-

Hua Cheng, to Ling Wen: Watching you pass a pole under a cow and being so proud of it. All I could think was "they're going to take her title from her"

He Xuan: They are.

-

He Xuan: We've got to stick up for Feng Xin, because he only struck things 15 times.

Hua Cheng: We're going to stick up for Feng Xin? Because the first thing he did was try to ram the door with the pole.

He Xuan: Yes, but overall his pole was 232cm. Meanwhile, Shi Qingxuan started off with 420cm and hit things 41 times. So his pole was 10cm.

Shi Qingxuan, stands up and hides behind his chair: I can't come out!

[soapy-soartp]

Day 21 of @whumperless-whump-event (late entry)

Day:  21 - WHERE'S THE EXIT

Prompt: Lost / Stuck in the wilderness / "Surely someone will notice we're gone."

Fandom: TGCF

Characters: Yin Yu, Quan Yizhen, and unamed character

He turned around and all he saw were trees, no sign of the group that he was on a night hunt with. That’s fine, he’s been out in the woods alone before, lost, but he’s made it out fine. But this time is different, when he turns a corner he finds a person, looking around his shixiong’s age, wearing a different sect's obes.

The other disciple was hunched over under a tree. By the sounds of it, they were sniffling. Yizhen moved closer, noticing the other had injured their leg.

“Why are you crying?”

“Ah!-“ the stranger exclaimed.

Quan Yizhen just stared as the other (annoyingly) began a rapid fire of questions, “W-who are you? Oh wait, you're part of that sect here?! Do- do you know how to get put here? Did you come to save me! How do we get out of here? Do you-“

“No. I'm lost too, I’m going to find my Shixiong though,” he cut them off, not bothering to answer the other questions.

“How?!” they suddenly yelled, panic slipping through.

“Just walking around,” he explained simply.

“What?! You don't even have a plan?! Then- then we’re gonna die here!”

“No. I'm not dying here.”

“How the hell are you so confident in that?!”

Yizhen shrugs then turns to walk away.

“Wait!- where are you going?!” the other disciple asked, trying to move forward but their injury prevented them from doing so.

Yizhen pauses, his responses getting more short and clipped, “Told you. I'm going to find Shixiong.”

“Wait! don't leave me here please!”

“Get up then?”

“I can’t! My leg- it's injured!”

“Oh,” he states blandly, ready to turn around and leave when the other yelled for him.

“Take me with you!” 

The unnamed disciple reaches out and Yizhen, starting to lose his patience, just picks up the other, gets them situated on his back, and begins walking.

“Augh! Ow the hell?!! You just-“

Quan Yizhen was glared at but he easily ignored it, instead focusing on walking towards where he thinks his group could've gone.

“Need to find Shixiong, getting dark.” 

The other disciple kept talking and talking and talking, only stopping when Quan Yizhen threatened to fight him(despite his Shixiong saying he should stop doing that). Eventually, after hours of walking in silence Quan Yizhen spots a group of people wearing familiar looking robes.

“Shixiong!” Yizhen greeted happily, breaking into a run, completely forgetting about the person on his back. Naturally he trips under the forgotten weight, thankfully Yin Yu had fast enough reflexes to slow their fall.

“Yizhen!” Shixiong exclaims after helping steady the two, “Are you right?”

Yizhen nods excitedly, “Missed Shixiong!”

The older man flushes at that but ignores Yizhen in favor of the other disciples still on his back. They have a short conversation that Yizhe  hadn’t bothered listening to, he’s too busy staring at his Shixiong after all! But when his Shixiong gets up he helps the injured disciples up too and motions for Yizhen to follow so he does.

[foxyjoy-art]

Hi Foxy,

I really love all your tgcf art, especially the muscular Xie Lian ones and demisexual hualian. You chibis are just what I need on a bad day.

Just wanted to ask, when in the book were you certain that "Yup, Hualian is definitely demi."?

Get well soon and looking forward to all your lovely works :)

Hullo! 

Thank you! I’m really glad you like it! 

I don’t think I really thought about it until after I read the novel and started looking back on his entire journey from being a teenager up until the end of the story.   I could go off about it, but to keep things short, he trained for years around other good looking sweaty cultivators yet thought his vows of chastity were easy. We never got an inner monologue about how much he was suffering as a teen to break his vows. Instead it said that he was a “natural” at it.  Later he’s shocked by his own boner towards HC because it was the first time in 800 years that he truly had a boner for someone. 

As a demi person, it was just all so relatable 😂   HC is my looser headcanon simply because he shows zero interest in anyone else. 

Thank you!!

[dragonji]

genuinely the past few months ive blazed through so many novels/comics it's kind of ridiculous that I still crave more. and yet I Do</3 Like to list them all out is. yeah:

◇Purely by Accident- just finished in 2 days. cute and had some neat moments but fell flat w the side characters by the end imo

◇Fabulous Beasts comic+donghua- started and caught up with both in <a week. desperately awaiting more[strained smile]

◇Sending the Divine- caught up with all free ongoing translations (have been following for months). awaiting more and reserving judgement for when I can read the full thing in one go

◇The Governor's Illness- finished in 5 days. Enjoyed it even tho it exasperated me in places, couple of really memorable moments too

◇Have You Seen My Brother comic- caught up with 20+ chs in a day after finding the new host site for the ongoing transl (previous app host got nuked in feb-ish). eagerly awaiting more

◇Daughter of a Thousand Faces comic- read in 1 day. honestly a bit obsessed but lowkey bc wont be getting more for a While

◇Dvawtk- reread for the 4th time over a week and a half. Love of my life in novel form I'd blow up a building for more

◇Rotmhs- fully caught up with eng comic. read 350+ novel chs in 2 weeks before burning out on it and taking a still-in-effect break. Need to get back into it but enjoying just chilling on it for now

◇Qjj- full reread of unoffical fan transl over 2 weeks. gutwrenching in places fairly solid overall but minor complications w some side relationships

◇I took the Wrong Script of Qing Leng Xianjun- read in 3 days . cute and silly if a bit grating in places

◇I am the White Moonlight of the Paranoid Immortal- unintentional reread (forgot I had read it last year lol) in 4 days. Short and fun, loses steam by the end but not bad

◇After Marrying the Lord of the Underworld- read in 6 days? honestly do not remember much. had more horror elements than I tend to go for I think

◇After Being Forced to Marry the Evil Star General- read in a week? only slightly more memorable than prev but I do think I liked it more and might give it another read soon to refresh

◇After Being Betrayed, the Immortal Master Ran Away with the Demon Venerable- read in 4 days. hints of dog's blood orig plot romance were appropriately grating and from what I recall had a satisfying end and some nice chemistry between the main couple, generally fond of it I think

◇The Last Dragon in the Cultivation World- read in 5ish days? did not like it</3 mc was too childish for my taste and i didnt enjoy most of plot, overall pretty shallow

All of ^that on top of keeping up with daily webtoon releases and a very slow ongoing reread of the official tgcf novels for annotation purposes (currently on book 5) not to mention re-/new watches of dramas animations game streams etc

[the-untamed-mind-pdf]

Queer rep in Indian media

I want to talk about queer representation here. I will start with my introduction to queer media. My first introduction to queer people in India would be the newspaper coverages of Pride marches in big cities. When section 377 was decriminalised in 2018, I had never given thoughts to my sexuality. Being an avid book reader, sometimes books with queer characters would accidently reach my hand. I say accidently because my primary source of books before Covid was my school library. Not a great place to find queer books. I had never liked Bollywood movies because of their blatant sexism, and my love for Bollywood songs  was fading. So when I found myself questioning my sexuality, I had to specifically look up queer media on youtube and chrome. That was in 2020.

In the summer of 2023, I discovered the gold mine/hell-hole of BL webtoons. I don’t remember my first BL webtoon. Was it Hearstopper? Its creator Alice Oseman will say it’s not BL (more on that later). What I do remember is binging on BL webtoons day and night for many days, until I started feeling guilty of consuming mostly BL in the name of queer stories, and that too mostly the ones written by women. So I actively searched for GL webtoons, and found them, but sadly not as many as BLs. And to top it, they storyline in many of them weren’t great either. GLs were lacking a lot in both quantity and quality as compared to BLs. But I didn’t break my resolve and started watching anime for the first time. I watched Bloom Into You, a GL, and Yuri on Ice, a BL. Then I started watching Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF), and god knows I still haven’t recovered from it. I read the whole book series in 4 days, and wanted to read more MXTX novels but put off reading them because I knew I would be gone for if her other works were half as interesting as TGCF. A year later I finally gave in and read Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS). And then I started watching The Untamed. The boon and bane of my existence right now.

My exams were also going on, which meant added stress. But there were nights I cried myself to sleep after watching youtube shorts of The Untamed. There were so many questions I asked myself while watching those 10-15 second videos. How come the Chinese have censorship, but they get to make and see such a great series with queer characters and the actors are also famous ones? In case anybody mistakes it for jealousy, I want to clarify that what I felt was anger and frustration. Why don’t we have such a series in India? Why don’t we have mainstream actors playing queer characters? Why don’t we have a good queer series or movie? So much heterosexual and sexist garbage gets passed by the Indian film censorship board but no one dares to make what is actually needed. I know there are some movies produced in recent times which don’t depict queer people as a joke, but why are there only a handful of them?

In India we have so many mythological tales relating to queerness, we have queer Gods and Goddesses, we have trans Deities, we have ancient temples dedicated to love depicting non heterosexual relationships, we have queer characters in our great epics Mahabharata and Ramayana. But very few poeople are ready to talk about it.

I hope this changes one day, and one day soon.

I had wanted to talk about many other things but they will have to wait for another day I guess.

P.S. I feel this piece was over a lot of places. I will learn to structure it better if there is a next time.

[hellsbroadcaster]

⸺ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 : 𝐃𝐈𝐀 !

what's your phone wallpaper: its of a cute kitty in a bathtub surrounded by pretty pink flowers :3

last song you listened to: ay mami by young miko

currently reading: nothing currently but I have been thinking of re-reading TGCF

last movie: Jawbreaker (1999)

what are you wearing right now?: my vox tshirt and shorts cuz its hot bbyy

how tall are you?: 5'2

piercings / tattoos?: just my earssss but someday a tattoo !!

glasses / contacts: glasses that i never wear

last thing you ate?: pizza rolls because I am an adult

favorite color: pink !!

current obsession: hazbin hotel, the amazing digitial circus, royal match game on my phone ~

do you have a crush right now?: on literally the cutest person to ever exist

favorite fictional character: xerxes break from pandora hearts !!! he is my bby!! who i am at my core ~

last place you travelled: i believe it was Maryland for my besties wedding <3

tagged by . @veneror THANK U

tagging . I THINK EVERYONES BEEN TAGGED?? IF U HAVENT DO ITTT.

[7potato7]

My fics

Completed chapter fics:

the masks they wore:

tgcf role-swap fic, solely written bc I got annoyed that fics never seem to put HC in the role of a heavenly official in role-reversals. ~25,000 words of XL being utterly oblivious to everything, including the fact that he's a Ghost King.

Scum Child's Self-Saving System:

First work of the mini shizun adventures series. SY is less stupid and plants like, a bunch of Sun and Moon Dew Flowers. Unfortunately, he ends up in one of SQH's instead. Even more unfortunately, it's a six-year-old body. Guest appearances from SJ's reincarnation. ~42,000 words of me avoiding the romance subplot like the plague. Part of a larger series that will have further updates later.

One-shots:

ice ice baby:

moshang one-shot, part of the mini shizun adventures series. Mobei-jun gets hit by a de-aging plant right before he goes to eat his dad's body. Things change a bit. No knowledge of the rest of the series required. ~7,000 words of Shang Qinghua spiraling into eternal anxiety.

The Oddest Nightmare:

Black Water arc fix-it, but I didn't do it on purpose and am still spicy about it. The timing is just a *bit* off, and He Xuan's plan falls through. <5,000 words of Xie Lian threatening He Xuan's entire existence.

Bad Timing, That.:

He Xuan finds a drowning man and decides that he needs more bonefish! What could go wrong? >1,000 words of He Xuan questioning all the choices that brought him to this moment.

Incense and Ashes:

Rather than having a good 'ol spicy time after finding the incense burner, Wei Wuxian has a nightmare, and they don't. Do that. >1,000 words of the author being frustrated with the extras' wasting of a perfectly good plot device.

a Ghost and a Requiem:

Wei Wuxian is dead. Just not as thoroughly as some may think. ~3,500 words of Wei Wuxian disassociating.

Shen Qiao Says No:

Short, not-frustrated-at-all extras rewrite wherein Shen Qiao asserts his personal autonomy. Just a teeny bit. For a treat. <400 words of Shen Qiao respecting himself as a human being.

Chiblian:

What happens after Xie Lian breaks his cultivation??? <1000 words of Hua Cheng dying a fourth time.

[daemonwritesstuff]

Short (No, LONG) introduction of your favorite writer (Me, Jaxrel) behind the screen! ╰(*´︶`*)╯

My name(s): I’m usually called Jaxrel or Jax, but I also love being called by Himawari, Rin, Eden or Luke too! Whatever nickname is easy for you to call me by then go wild!

Identity: I use he/him pronouns, but I’m also cool with people using they/them pronouns on me as well, but I do like using more masculine pronouns for my comfort :,)

I have been professionally diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, BPD, Schizophrenia and OCD, I am a little bit more severe with my Autism (but not so high, ifykwim) so I may not understand a lot of social cues or tones in words or voices and etc, so just be mindful of this please and be kind to me and also everyone :)

I am a trans man, im pansexual, polyamorous, aromatic & asexual, I have a preference towards men more than woman (:

I’m Polish, Middle Eastern (Iraqi), & Filipino with some Scottish, I currently live in Baghdad, Iraq, I also live in America too.

Likes: Anthropology, zoology, pathology, theology, astronomy, writing, history/science, soccer, basketball, volleyball, art(painting, pottery, digital art, sketching, etc), cats, sharks, anime/manga, vocaloid/UTAU, k/j-pop, vkei, plushies, figurines, stuffed animals, puppetry, tabletop RPGS, gaming, rhythm games, documentaries, youtube, twitch, skateboarding, sweets, asian cuisine, iced coffee, boba tea, dancing, cleaning, musicals, collecting many things, rain, horror, and so much more!

Dislikes: hot weather, bitter tastes or smells, feeling restricted, pessimism.

Favorite Video Games: I do have a lot I play but here are the ones I really enjoy playing… Persona5(more), Danganronpa, OMORI, Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Honaki Impact 3rd, Zenless Zero Zone, NieR: Automata, Hollow Knight, Final Fantasy 7, TWST, Obey Me!, Tears Of Themis, Mystic Messenger, Sally Face and more!

Favorite Animes: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Bungo Stray Dogs, Vanitas no Carte, Jujustu Kaisen, Demon Slayer, Blue Lock, Black Butler, Death Note, Chainsaw Man, Tokyo Revengers, TBHK, Toradora, Oshi No Ko, A Silent Voice, Doukyuusei, JJBA, Sk8 The Infinity, Food Wars, Assassination Classroom, Hunter X Hunter, Devilman Crybaby, Banana Fish, Serial Experiments Lain, Monster, Soul Eater, Magical Girl Madoka, Akudama Drive and more

Favorite Movies/Shows/Cartoons: Mean Girls, The Great Gatsby, Breaking Bad, Any Marvel Movies, AlRawabi School For Girls, Girl From Nowhere, Alice In Borderland, Stranger Things, Heartstopper, Breaking Bad, Total Drama Llama, South Park, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls & More

Other Media: Heavens Offical Blessing, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Cherry Crush, Creepypasta, The Mandela Catalog, SCP Foundation, Flicker (Roblox), Sanatorium (Roblox), The Walten Files, The Evillous Chronicles, Homestuck, Eddsworld, Nijisanji EN & more

Top Kins: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), geto suguru (jujustu kaisen), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

Favorite Characters: Toji Fushiguro (Jujustu Kaisen), Gojo Satoru (Jujustu Kaisen), Mondo Owada (Danganronpa 1), Leon Kuwata (Danganronpa 1), Blair (Soul Eater), Goro Akechi (Persona5), Jumin Han (Mystic Messenger), Malleus Draconia (Twisted Wonderland), Mushitaro Oguri (Bungo Stray Dogs), Chuuya Nakahara (Bungo Stray Dogs), Qi Rong (Heavens Offical Blessing, SORRY), Belphegor (Obey Me), Aponia (Honkai Impact 3rd), Mitsuri Kanoji (Demon Slayer), Enmu (Demon Slayer), Wriothesley (Genshin Impact), Neuvillette (Genshin Impact), Raiden Shogun/Ei (Genshin Impact), Takanobu Aone (Haikyuu), Willam Afton (Five Nights at Freddy’s), and more

Favorite Artists: ATEEZ, Stray Kids, LOONA, TXT, SHINee, Orange Caramel, Red Velvet, NewJeans, BIGBANG, (G)-IDLE, TWICE, Enhypen, LE SSERAFIM, Itzy, Wonder Girls, Perfume, Gackt, ATARASHII GAKKO, Yoasobi, BABYMETAL, Fuji Kaze, King Gnu, Arashi, Ado, Eve, Miki Matsubara, Tophamhat-kyo, Gulu gulu, Malice Mizer, DADAROMA, The GazettE, Kaneto-Juusei, Mejibray, Madmans Esprit, BUCK-TICK, X Japan, Korn, System Of A Down, Oingo Bingo, Puzzle, Strawberry Guy, Tyler The Creator, Lemon Demon, The Mountain Goats, Mitski, Mac Demarco, The Cure, The Smiths, The Garden, AJJ, TV Girl, Bôa, Current Joys, Eyedress, Car Seat Headrest, My Bloody Valentine, Alex G, Marina, Weezer, Radiohead, Cage The Elephant, Tame Impala, Playboi Carti, Deftones and more

I’ll update this whenever I can! Hopefully you guys enjoy getting to know more about me (:

[iantimony]

exhausted tuesdaypost

short one this week! i'm at baby's first big academic conference and boy howdy i have no idea what the fuck i'm doing! technically posting this a little early by the time zone i'm in (pst) but in my normal time zone (est) it is already tuesday so fuck it amirite

listening: a little more partizan but not much (almost done with episode 19). VERY bold of me to think i could finish partizan before 2024, but also the first two weeks of december were a total wash for me because of conference prep. will very likely blaze through a ton of it when i get back to my apartment at the end of this week.

reading: read a little more of 'the house on vesper sands'. reread some tgcf chapters because they're familiar and soothing.

cait corrain goodreads controversy: the world of twitter/tiktok writers is such a foreign concept to me. the drama even more so. i was fascinated by this. reminds me of the livejournal drama of yore.

diagrammatic writing by johanna drucker: picked this up at a bookshop in san fran. might give it to my brother as a holiday gift? it's very cool and meta and caught my attention, as well as being bite-sized.

drinking, power wheelchairs and dui: got in a conversation with my roommate about how you can get a dui on a horse in arizona (which i think is a little strange because a horse, while under your control, generally wouldn't just go off a cliff or into traffic even if you try to guide it that way?? idk shit about horses though) which morphed into "wait. you can get a dui on a horse. and a bike. what about wheelchairs." i definitely agree with the "wheelchair and its driver together fall under the class of “pedestrian” when using sidewalks and crosswalks" because like. yeah. it's no more a vehicle than my legs are y'know? or something. there's definitely deeper disability theory here that i am ignorant to but i'm remembering stuff from the embodiment-themed art history class that i took my senior year and how technologies can serve as extensions as the self rather than separate entities.

playing: still pokego. yeehaw

watching: episode 6 of tgcf donghua! i'm a little confused about the release schedule but i am obsessed. they're in love your honor

misc: found out the nyt dialect quiz is behind a paywall now when i told my friend about it and she tried to take it >:( met a cool older gentleman on the cable car, he's a retired nat geo photographer originally from paris. just a really cool dude. wish i got his name so i could look up his work.

BONE TIRED at this conference despite it literally being day one. i am so exhausted. partly jetlag partly New Experience partly anticipation for poster session on wednesday partly meeting collaborators and wanting to make a good impression etc etc. i definitely need to plan in more breaks. last week was easily one of The worse weeks of my life so far, combo PMSing plus breakdown over realizing i had to completely re-run a simulation (or two etc) and redo all my plots for my poster. just agonizing cramming of so much stuff. completely draining, basically burned myself out before even leaving for the conference, but it's Fine i'll be Fine i just gotta get through my presentation on wednesday without completely losing the thread.

[unforth]

Alright instead of rageposting about white people perpetuating racism problems in cnovel/cdrama fandoms I've channeled my feels into cleaning up some shit I've been doing a bad job at maintaining and feeling horribly guilty about for months or even years. This is probably a healthier use of my current "fuck it." So, for reference, I've:

deleted the kink meme part of the DMBJ kink meme on AO3. This means that the prompts and sign ups and claims are now gone (I'm sorry I didn't give people time to save their prompts, but the reason I didn't do this months ago was that it had many steps and I was being useless about DOING those steps and as I said in the intro paragraph, I'm now at "fuck it" and like. if I can't do it "the right way" I'm today just breaking and doing it "the wrong way" and here we are). The collection and the ten stories in it still exists and anonymity and such are still maintained for people who wanted it, but new prompts and new fills cannot be submitted.

ditto the above for the kink meme part of the SPN kink meme on AO3. The prompts and sign ups and claims are now gone. I also removed myself administrating the Tumblr, though the other two people involved (fpwoper and envydean) do still have access. I realized belatedly that I really should have offered to just leave and let them have it but, again, today is apparently "fuck it" day which means I'm not thinking through the ramifications of my actions which has resulted in some bad fandom citizenry behavior on my part, and again, I truly do apologize. (I've offered to help them reconstruct the challenge part if either of them wants to run it; fpwoper has already said no, I'll see what envydean says and I'll apologize profusely even more and do what I can do fix things if envydean DOES want to take over and make it active again). The collection and the stories written for it still exist; that's about 40 works. Thanks to everyone who participated.

I left @saawek's Star of Solitude event, which I helped run a year and a half ago. Saawek hasn't really been active on Tumblr, but hun if you see this it's nothing at all about you or TGCF I'm just pulling back from things that even seeing them in my blog list has been causing me stress on the daily.

I formally announced that I'll be consolidating @zhenhunartreblogs and @dmbjartreblogs in @cnovelartreblogs, and I've posted to that effect in all three blogs. If you want Zhenhun/Guardian and DMBJ art content from my sideblogs, unfollow the old blogs and follow at cnovelartreblogs, and just black list fandoms you're not interested in - that's the whole reason I tag everything.

I deleted another side blog I haven't been using.

I'm considering deleting @memesforwriters, which I only update maybe once a month, and honestly just typing all this up has I think tipped me over into "fuck it" and I'm going to delete that too. I expect I'll instead reblog relevant memes to the @duckprintspress account, since I have to maintain that regardless.

My last remaining completely inactive Tumblr sideblog is where I'd posted on translated chapter the 2ha manhua. I really would like to be doing more work like that, though hell if I know when I'll have time; I renamed that blog to @unforthfantranslations, and I have vague hopes to translate more of 2ha and to tackle Lie Huo Jiao Chou (which I've never read any version of and would like to). But tbh I probably won't manage any progress on any of that until the fall.

Nothing like a pile of grief to make me say "I'm done feeling guilty about this stuff, like is too short, fuck it I'm gonna make these changes I've been waffling about for ages."

P. S. I opened another window to check how exactly I'd renamed the translation blog and while I had it opened I decided on a compromise with memesforwriters, which is that I'm exporting it, and THEN I'll delete it. And I DMed the Destiel Harlequin mods that I'm done and think we should shut it down. And I spotted a couple Discord servers I'm going to leave.

So yeah. that's the mood today in a (rather large and overly wordy) nutshell.

Apparently when I said yesterday that I'd be quiet, I failed to take into account how I ACTUALLY process grief. In my defense, this is only the...fourth?...time someone I really care about has died in my entire life. (counts of...Arthur, Gil, my grandfather, yeah that's three...of course other people I've cared about have died but no one who I loved and who I felt "I wish I had more time with this person." Like...I wish I'd had more time with Belle but I didn't love her...yeah I'm just babbling now I'm sorry I'm like this today.)

ETA: okay I just left like 6 Discord servers I haven't been using, too. There's only one I'm still like "maybe I shouldn't..." but I know a lot of people in that server and if I really want back in I can ask for invite.

[ghooostbaby]

“i pray to never rest in peace” is a beautiful paradox. a prayer of solemn devotion to love, a willful refusal of death and time and nature.

to rest in peace is to die and return to the earth, return to the cycle of death and life, proceed along the appropriate path. to not rest in peace goes against the grain, causes disturbance in the right order, resists following the cycle forward through death into life, is an aberration of nature, it becomes the responsibility of gods to correct this disturbance in the order.

“i pray to never rest in peace” is a willful taunt to the order of the universe, it’s not a sad wish by someone who doesn’t care enough about themselves to want to be happy, it is a declaration of ungovernability. unafraid of the threat of suffering, the loss of happiness, the loss of peace after death, how can that person be controlled?

(perhaps a bit heavy-handed to quote feminist killjoy by sara ahmed concerning hua cheng but just watch me:)

Audre Lorde teaches us how quickly the freedom to be happy is translated into the freedom to look away from what compromises your happiness. The history of feminist critiques of happiness could be translated into a manifesto: Don't look over it: don't get over it. Not to get over it is a form of disloyalty. Willfulness is a kind of disloyalty: think of Adrienne Rich's call for us to be disloyal to civilization. We are not over it, if it has not gone. We are not loyal, if it is wrong. Willfulness could be rethought as a style of politics: a refusal to look away from what has already been looked over. The ones who point out that racism, sexism, and heterosexism are actual are charged with willfulness; they refuse to allow these realities to be passed over.

hua cheng’s love and devotion is pure willfulness. hua cheng’s existence is a perpetual refusal of what is natural or reasonable - even time and death. death and the threat of suffering are tools of social control, but hua cheng is fearless. life was cruel to him and he did not remain obedient to it. his story is of triumphant disloyalty. he refused life by loving.

hua cheng’s devotion changes the entire universe. makes possible what was never possible. it defies what is natural, it makes the unnatural natural. this is not just about the two people in the relationship. it is about the whole world. it is about the way their love breaks the order and allows different forms of time to flow.

Hua Cheng’s life was short and cruel and unbearable. He refuses to die and move on. He is willfully disloyal to the logic of time. His death would have been natural, his love is an abomination. His death was his birth. His death was the beginning of a time where he had control over his life, where he could reach his desires without being held back from the constraints of life.

“I pray to never rest in peace” is more than someone who can’t be separated from the person they love, for whatever reason, it’s someone who breaks through the natural order of the universe to meet their desires. many of the gods in tgcf try and fail to do this. hua cheng succeeds. because he is devoted. he is someone who won't be controlled by the threat of loss of happiness. who will never be obedient to the universe, fate, time, or death.

[luffythinker]

was looking over the teamup missions and the school briefs cause im starved for Monoma content and i discovered the Kirishima/Monoma tag on here it's #kirimono and while looking through it i have discovered that Kirimono is apparently like KiriBaku in a way and im honestly so down. There were several post that had me by the neck for them and not to forget to mention i was listening to JORDY - Is It Love? and Blonde at the time - Maisie Peters

They are so like break up every 5 minutes for eachother i don't know how to describe it, aggressive make out because they grind eachothers gears in the worse way yet can't keep their hands off eachother long enough to want to be anywhere else.

Someone said "Canonically Kirishima can’t stand Monoma but when we think about it Monoma is basically class b’s Bakugou, who if you remember Kiri actually had to warm up to at first then chose to be his friend. The only thing stopping them from getting along is literally just Monoma’s complex about class a and if they got to know each other I think they’d act get along in that petty boyfriends sorta way."

post by @ mhathotfic

the best part of it was

"They’d pick on each other and flirt via insults but they know the other doesn’t actually mean it in hurtful way."

and

"In conclusion they’d be the couple who can’t stand each other, but they’re disgustingly in love so they make it work."

it's like a complex semi toxic relationship that only they understand whats going on. Like Kirishima is such a sweet heart but when it comes to Monoma he's the devil from the bible hope you get that snapcube joke

They love to antagonize eachother but it's mostly Monoma but i can see them doing this for the longest until Monoma is actually the first to catch feelings for him, he's all i want something from this, like i don't wanna be mean and hateful to this meat head the entire time i actually genuinely have feelings for this beefcake and i wonder what a softer version of us looks and feels like so the antagonizing takes a weird turn and he's not feeling it like he used to one day

THIS IS SO ENEMIES TO LOVERS

Kirishima's confused Monoma is weirdly upset and it's like actually people in a relationship they don't understand. Monoma doesn't have it in him to actually bring up whats wrong with him cause he's kinda like Bakugo in the way that he can't admit his feelings at least to someone in class A of all people so he's just gonna ignore him or try and get him to figure it out himself

Kirishima is not smart enough for this but he uses his one braincell to hunt that petty boy down and demand whats wrong? Did he go too far? did he actually hurt Monoma? What?

Monoma would go on to explain to him whats going on and that he's actually got feelings for him and call him an idiot in a sophisticated manner.

This ship is just news to me man like i don't know whats going on i just got here

At this rate, I will have to rewatch bnha just to fully get every rare pair yall send me

So I didn't remember much of their interactions (I've watched season 1 and 2 like 4 years ago okay!! my memory is not that good), but I watched this short compilation and OKAY I GET THE VISION NOW so let's get into the post itself

I feel like I need to just talk about the songs they mentioned cause i gave it a listen and OMGJKDFKJDF it's so them coded /baby if you thought I was trouble then you're gonna hate what's coming next/ like cmon??

They are that couple that everybody talks about during lunch, they make their fights everybody's business by screaming at each other, but also no one can dare to say anything about them cause they will fight YOU

don't know if anyone here is into tgcf but this ship gives me fengqing in another font

"It's like a complex semi-toxic relationship that only they understand what's going on." you defined it perfectly here, anon!! [and your joke had me giggling for 5 minutes]

I feel like they would have the slowest slow burn ever when it comes to feelings, like sexual tension would be there as in every enemies to lovers, but to any of them to realize and ADMIT their feelings???? yeah… it's giving all years of high school until they confess on the last day during prom [except everybody else thought they were dating already]

I am very intrigued by this ship, pls come back so I can think about them some more, cause, for now, I'm still getting used to it but I'm gonna come up with some ideas!!

p.s.: also I'm very sorry for taking long to reply, weekend was crazy and I had no access to my computer :')

[horse-girl-anthy]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks..

tbh this is extremely hard to answer because I have many interests. I’m sure I’ll feel bad when I remember the hundred other characters that should have made the list. I’m not putting any Ikuhara characters because it’d been too hard to pick and honestly I’d have to go through each work individually. 

1. Tenma from Naoki Urasawa’s Monster. I don’t claim to be a complicated person, alright. I just think he’s nice. every time I read Monster I get more attached to him like a little baby duck, which is what all the other characters in that story do as well so I’m valid. trying to put it into words is hard--he’s just an alluring combo of pathetic, ridiculous, cool, strong, and kind. plus he kinda becomes a religious figure by the end and I’m a sucker for that shit.

2. Xie Lian from TGCF/Heaven Official’s Blessing. I read the novels this summer after watching the donghua. I was just expecting a decent BL, but what I got was epic historical supernatural fiction (and BL). Xie Lian is such an impressively written character. his story helped me deal with my own fall from grace, as it were, and was overall cathartic and engaging. plus he’s my type. step aside Hua Cheng, I’d die for him first. 

3. Orel from Moral Orel. I love this show a lot because of its focus on the cruelty and hypocrisy of WASP America, and Orel is relatable for struggling to understand the bulltshit answers he gets to all his questions. he’s a lot more innocent than I was as a kid, but I think his kind of purity plays well against the satirical, dark edge of the show. 

4. Reki from Haibane Renmei. most of the reasons I love her aren’t revealed until the very end of the show. I’ll say that I love her because she’s the ultimate manifestation of the story’s themes of guilt and redemption.

5. Ishida from Koe no Katachi. I just finished rereading this manga recently. if you want a character who does wrong, suffers, tries to change himself, but finds it isn’t that easy, Ishida is your man. he’s such a funny, well-written teen boy, but also someone I think anyone from any background can see themselves in--the good and the bad. 

6. Naruto from... you know. Naruto was the first anime I became really obsessed with, when I was in middle school, and Naruto himself is the first character I can remember becoming attached to in an intense, lasting way. I loved him so much and I still have that attachment to him. he’s so, so cute, and so, so lovable. when I’m done with my first round of Ikuhara vids, I’m going to download Naruto so I can make my friend a Sasuke fancam and I’m also gonna make a Naruto edit just for me :)

7. Miyuki from Naoki Urasawa’s Happy! I’ve read everything by Urasawa except for Yawara, and I’m one of the only people who seems to have read Happy! I gotta say, would I pick it as one of his best works? no. I love everything he’s done, but something like 20th Century Boys or Billy Bat is clearly a more serious, meaningful story than Happy!, which comes out of his transition phase between writing romantic comedy sports manga and his later thrillers. however... Happy! is one of those works which makes me lose my mind regardless of quality. and Miyuki, the main character, is just so damn adorable. I find her a very appealing, sweet character. beyond that, kind of like Monster, the entire story is about people trying to break her down, but she refuses to ever give up and I love that sort of thing when played right. 

8. Ged from Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea series. I am still digging into Le Guin’s body of work but I’ve read most of her novels and short story collections. I could absolutely make a top ten list with just characters from her books. however, I managed to narrow it down to just three from this list, all from the Earthsea books. Ged is the only character who appears in all six books, and the reader gets to experience close the entire course of his life. he starts as an arrogant, careless boy and grows into a wise man. Le Guin decided not to leave him after he does his final great act, and his story continues after he loses his power. Tehanu, the fourth book in the series, is probably my favorite book I’ve ever read, I’ve thought about writing an analysis comparing it with RGU, and one of its main themes is life after loss and trauma. his story interwines with the next two characters on this list.

9. Tenar from Earthsea. like Ged, we get to see most of her life throughout the books. book 2 contains her coming of age story, while Tehanu features her as a widow, struggling between the life of an ordinary woman and her status in the mythology of Earthsea. she brings so much fire, mirth, and strength to the series. she’s someone I wish I had in my life, and if you really pressed me, she’s my favorite character Le Guin ever wrote. 

10. Tehanu from Earthsea. this character is a strange one to try to write about. I’ve seen people criticize her writing by saying there’s nothing to her, she’s just a vessel for the story. but I can’t agree. as someone who’s known people who went through severe childhood trauma, I think that Tehanu is written with thought and care. I love how unnerving and unknowable she is, but also how she is written like she’s any other child. the ending of her story in the final book made me sob and sob and sob. 

sources for the last three images because they’re fanart: 1, 2, 3

[sadbreadcrumb]

hohoho, tagged by @joziokowalski, thankie

last song: I Wanna Be Your Slave by Måneskin. i don't listen to music much these days, and when i do, it's the same ~10 last songs from my playlist, which include tgcf soundtrack, two Måneskin songs and two songs by Dead Blonde with russian '90s vibes?? папин пистолет в кармане, шуба, плащ и сапоги — вот и всё моё наследство, я принцесса из тайги 😎😎😎

current book stack:

Don't Shoot The Dog by Karen Pryor (i think so, at least, bc the title of the russian translation says 'don't growl at the dog' lol). started reading it several days ago and haven't gone further than like a dozen pages or so. i'm bad with books that aren't tgcf or tgcf fanfiction right now. anyway, it's about dog training and operant learning in general

All Creatures Great And Small by James Herriot. it's a collection of short stories. it's going really slowly. idk why, it has animals and veterinary, i'm like really interested in those...

Служебная собака (i. e. 'service dog') by Leonid Krushinsky. it's a soviet dog training manual. i haven't touched it in several months tho. this one and the Herriot's book just sit in a corner of our workplace in case i happen to want to read something during my break...

i also have several books i'd started reading on my phone, but i guess it's safe to say i'm not likely to finish them. those include A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (i didn't like what i'd read), Good Omens and russian translation of The Silmarillion. but yeah. not going to happen anytime soon...

by the way, i'm going to get my printed copy of the 4th tgcf book so i'll probably be rereading it for the third time ✌️

last movie: hmmmm @joziokowalski showed me The Hound of the Baskervilles on the new year eve

last show: probably that 4th tgcf rewatch with my cat lol. before that... the 3rd tgcf rewatch with @joziokowalski... before that maybe Jeeves and Wooster with ... ... ... you guessed it, @joziokowalski ; ) at this point she can probably keep better track on the series i've watched lol

current obsession: Heaven Official's Blessing aka tgcf, if you haven't guessed already. it's been uhhh nine months or more?.. gonna move to mdzs at some point but not sure when lol

i'm tagging @melonbitter, @karamazovdmitri and @fantasmagoriam, have a go at this ask if you'd like ^_^