#me when the bl is written better than the assigned book

[coffeeshopdrawings]

a really long and pointless ramble on one of the most boring books i've ever read, and how a danmei (TGCF) is deeper than it: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

God. I fucking hate this book. For context, I was recently assigned this book in my English class. I was assuming it would share a lot of themes with To Kill a Mockingbird but with a different perspective. And let me tell you, I appreciate that book WAY more after this

Plot

True Diary is about a Native American teenager who lives on a reservation and struggles with poverty. After having a talk with his teacher after throwing a book at him (I'll touch on that later), he decides to move to a school in a farm town mostly populated by white kids.

This Book is Extremely Oversexualized for NO Reason

There are multiple points throughout the novel that just- really shouldn't be there. Here are some quotes:

"Naked women + right hand = happy happy joy joy. Yep, that's right, I admit that I masturbate. I'm proud of it. I'm good at it. I'm ambidextrous. If there was a Professional Masterbators League, I'd get drafted number one and make millions of dollars. And maybe you're thinking, "Well, you really shouldn't be talking about masturbation in public." Well, tough, I'm going to talk about it because EVERYBODY does it and EVERYBODY likes it."

"Have you ever watched a beautiful woman play volleyball? Yesterday, during a game, Penelope was serving and I watched her like she was a work of art. She was wearing a white shirt and white shorts, and I could see the outlines of her white bra and white panties. Her skin was pale white. Milky white. Cloud white. She she was all white on white on white, like the most perfect kind of vanilla dessert cake you've ever seen. I wanted to be her chocolate topping."

"The score was like 12-0. But I didn't care. I just wanted to watch the sweaty Penelope sweat her perfect swear on that perfectly sweaty day."

Gross right? There are more scenes like this, but I don't have the quotes on hand. At one point a kid said he got a "metaphorical boner" from reading, and the main character almost kissed a book once (more on that later!!)

The Unnecessary Derogatory Language

In the prologue, the r-word is prominently used, and the word Indian is used to replace Native American to describe the main character (from the main character's perspective). That is excusable, as the author based the main character off himself. He is a Native American and has excess spinal fluid. However, there are two examples of this book using genuine slurs. Of course, the main character hadn't said it, but my point still stands. The thing is? Take these out and NOTHING changes. Removing this language in a book like To Kill a Mockingbird actually has an excuse for this language since, ya know, it was made in the 1920s. This book? No reason. Just kinda throws in the f-slur and the n-word in there once.

The Plot is BORING

When it says "diary" IT MEANS A DAIRY. Take Diary of a Whimpy kid and strip it of the plot, add some horniness, and there. That's the book. The very inciting incident doesn't even make sense. Basically, our MC is about to make out with his textbook, until he realizes it has his mom's name on it. He's mad that the textbook is old. That's it. So he throws it at his teacher! This breaks his teacher's nose, but you know what happens? The teacher says that the kid got mad cuz. . . poverty??? It read like our MC was just mad they had an old book. But apparently, that means that they have a fighting spirit or something. SO THAT'S HOW HE ENDS UP GOING TO THE OTHER SCHOOL. His parents don't disagree, there's no argument, nothing. The only thing that comes from it is that his best friend (who is low-key a dick) is mad that he's leaving the reservation school for an all-white person school.

Okay. The title. How does Tian Guan Ci Fu act better as a book than this?

You see, here's the thing. In True Diary, there is ZERO takeaway. There really is nothing to learn from it. There's no lesson to learn, no challenge to overcome, nothing to think about. It's DEVOID OF LIFE! Yet, look at TGCF. so many people have taken away meaningful messaging from it. I've personally taken a liking to Hua Cheng, and especially the idea that he doesn't care about all the extravagant things he owns, but instead just his beloved. I relate to that a lot, and it speaks to me. And then look at True Diary? What does this serve? What can I learn? What can I think about?

okay that's it bye bye this was really long and dumb :)

[childofthevault]

Sir Hammerlock + all the numbers. Sorry

oh my god

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

I like him, hes not one of my top favorite Borderlands characters but he's fun and honestly I think one of the better written characters

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

that hes openly gay and hes old, you don't really get a lot of elder gay rep and it's cool to see

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

this is a personal thing but I don't like his british explorer thing somethings, especially when he starts calling people savages its incredibly minor but it bothers me a bit

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

okay so I've mentioned this with friends but, I want him to have a comic mini-series and sure I say this with Borderlands a lot but I think Hammerlock having a one-off mini series comic about him doing something would be cool

I think gbx and dark horse should invest in mini-series or one shots for the bl side characters like Hammerlock

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I had to think on this since he isn't a character I listen to playlists for or make them for but after listening to my spotify for a bit Twin Soul- Rico Del Oro

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

complicated relationships with their family ig?

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

How everyone depicts his relationship with Wainwright, I am so happy that people don't ignore them being together and that they're both gay men its nice to see people love him so much and love the relationship he has

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

PEOPLE NOT REALIZING HE'S BLACK OH MY GOD ITS SO WERID HE IS SO VISIBLY NOT WHITE

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

yes :)

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

yes :D

11. Would you date this character?

no, im a lesbian and he is a gay man who is more than twice my age

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

he is the type of old guy to use emojis wrong, ie use 😂 for crying in a sad context

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

🐾he adds it if he's tracking something

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Dark Academia

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

HIM AND WAINWRIGHT THOSE TWO ARE MY GAY DADS

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Hammerlock x women ig?

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

I don't think I have one? I think I saw him shipped with Zane a few times but eh

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

him and wainwright have such a healthy relationship, and it's so well written like you get they're in love and why they love each other from the breif time they have togehter, I do like how in the dlc handled their relationship and how both of them felt like maybe they might not work out but realizing these anxieties are wrong we're great together

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

I wish his relationship with Aurelia got more time to devlope, in the pre-sequel Aurelia has death lines where she calls for him and says "I'm sorry Alistor." this leans more towards Aurelia but I wish they got a chance to really mend their relationship in bl3 but Aurelia was...written like that in bl3 which sucks

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Clay and or Zane

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I do not write fics

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

I do not read a lot of fics :(

23. Favorite picture of this character?

he's happy :)

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

none come to mind but probably will after I post this haha

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

first impression: ah he's cool

current: thats my dad, he adopted me, I love you gay dad

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?