#shitposting instead of sleeping again

[bagelvangr]

There are three (3) types of Jarlskona in 9th century England

based off of Katie Chironis' tweet on the 3 types of producers:

there will be no further explanation thank u

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

Guilliman's Soup

"Look, I'm not going to harm any of you, not unless it involves stuffing Guilliman in a room without his....." Fulgrim trails off, the demon prince's lower half coiling in discomfort as he stares at the abomination that bubbled within the pot. It smelled distinctly of both Mjød and cigarettes, appearing as something that Fulgrim was uncertain if even a Nurgling would eat. He certainly wouldn't. Actually he doesn't think any Slaaneshi demon is depraved enough to even attempt to make such a thing. He shakes his head. "Will I be allowed to help?" Calgar, who was certainly not at all expecting to see the demon prince of excess himself at the entrance to the Imperial palace, couldn't decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand it meant that his primarch wasn't affected by any chaos god, if even Slaanesh was getting involved; on the other, did he really want to accept the help of a demon prince? Especially one that is well.... Calgar sighs deeply, "Fine, you might actually be a good deterrent to Dante anyway. He's been a pain in the ass" "Who is-" Fulgrim doesn't get to finish his sentence as a very old marine of what appears to be of the blood angel's chapter is shooed away by a serf with a broom, wacking the marine's shins with it as he hisses like an angry goose. Fulgrim has his answer on who Dante is but is now even further confused, "I thought Blood Angels were supposed to be noble?" "I'm hoping the soup will kill me" Dante helpfully responds which has the demon prince blinking in utter shock, because what the fuck happened to Sanguinius' sons!? Another Ultramarine, this one apparently named Cato is crawling on his hands and knees out of the room where Dante came from, coughing and generally being a rather sad sight with the stench of both vomit and the abominable liquid upon his breath. Slaanesh, who just briefly decided to turn her head towards whatever the fuck her demon prince was doing, vomits and mutters 'I can't believe none of this was Nurgle's idea; he actually wants the fucking recipe!'. Needless to say, Fulgrim doesn't really want to know what's exactly in that pot. Instead he dryly says "I'm amazed this hasn't summoned anything other then myself..." Calgor sighs "No, it has, there's the Sanguinor, and it's currently being kept back by some Sister of Silence out of fear that it's going to beat Dante to death with a sandle. Personally I'm not fond of trying to explain to the blood angels that we didn't kill their chapter master; it was the soul of Sanguinius, himself, that ended his life. I can't see that going too well...And Cato, please stop eating father's soup." "But-" "No buts or I'm throwing you into the same room as the Sanguinor" That stopped any more protests out of Cato who shuddered at the very idea of confronting the very angry warp spirit that was half of mind to possess someone.

The sound of what Fulgrim could still recognize after all these years as a very angry Leman Russ can be heard in the distance yelling "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO WITH MY FUCKING MJOD, ROBOUTE!?" This was going to be a long and terrible process, Fulgrim just knows it. ____ This short story was inspired by a convo between myself and @moociaoafterdark on this post.

[m3ntal-hiatus]

gojo sleeps like a distressed victorian woman send post

[tamarye]

stanford pines wasnt in his dimension during the 9/11 attacks and when flying he makes a comment about it to stanley

prior to this he had to get rid of 49 different items that would get him investigated

[therabbitthatpostthings]

It’s always “fuck that old man” until the old man is Van Hoenhiem and all of a sudden I’m weird, I have daddy issues, I’m wrong-

Girl shut the fuck up!

[ava-of-shenanigans]

Hello there, I love your Egyptian Mythology content! I was wondering if maybe you could tell me what sources you use for your research and how you usually access them? Lately I've been trying to find a few decent books on Egyptian Mythology, but it's turning out to be harder than expected. Thanks a bunch!

It took me a really long time to get around to answering this, sorry!

I’m afraid I don’t really know any good books on this subject. Most of my research is from reading translations of the original ancient Egyptian texts, and the additional information in the forwards or footnotes of those translations. Sometimes I’ll get interested in a specific subject and look for papers written specifically about those things, but I don’t know any books that give a comprehensive of the religion (which I assume is what you’re looking for.)

I can link some sources that I like, though!

This translation of the Pyramid Texts, which is pretty recent. The Pyramid Texts are a bunch of funeral spells so they can be boring or confusing to read, but this version goes really in depth with the commentary around the translation. Also a few of the spells say that Set chewed on the Eye of Horus and I think about that about 11 times a day

Translation of Plutarch’s essay On Isis and Osiris, which was written very late in the history of the Ancient Egyptian religion, at a time when the religion had been heavily influenced by the Ancient Greek religion. It was also written from an outsider’s perspective (Plutarch was not Egyptian, and there are a few myths he mentions where he’s basically like “nah, that’s stupid, couldn’t have happened”). However, it still does explain a lot, it gives a general overview of the Osiris myth and explores a lot of other aspects of Egyptian culture and belief as well.

This recording of a lecture at the University of Chicago Oriental Institute about the seven scorpion wives of Horus that was uploaded to YouTube. It only covers that particular myth, but I think it’s pretty fun.

[fuzzyarsonist]

I saw a joke about Lamb of God being shortened as LOG

Have at thee

Also I made one with the rock because @karelessknight made a joke and it funny

[buttercupshands]

I honestly can't believe it took me 7 years

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Shadow Milk Cookie. Chloroform. Yandere. Do what you will with this information.

-🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍👨

I'm gonna put you as the anon listed above since- That's what I assume you mean?

I unintentionally put shitpost aha

Disclaimer: MC is still gender neutral, they are just referred to as queen for chess role purposes.

Tw: Eyestrain for the art that goes along with this piece, chloroform-like magic, kidnapping to a different dimension, implied future murder

You find yourself in a dark void. So black, you can't see anything through the shadows that swirl in your vision. You're not sure what it feels like. Is it threatening? Or is it a sense of peace? You aren't sure. This sense of the unknown makes you anxious.

Suddenly, a big blue eye opens in front of you, the colour glowing within the dimmed surroundings. The shade of blue reminded you of Lapis. A very bright one. But the eye itself, it was terrifying. You nearly wanted to break into pieces right then and there.

"Oh, my queen! You're finally here!" A voice eagerly chirps, a slightly maniacal tone to it. It seemed ecstatic to see you, too much so. You couldn't form an answer, still processing your odd environment.

"I've missed you~ It's been ages since I've seen your face! You don't look any different- oh, maybe you're just a little prettier, you silly thing!" The voice giggled as the eye blinked. The eye squinted upwards as if it was smiling. But wait, why did it act like it's seen you before? You don't know who this entity is. Not even what it is. Is it a cookie? A beast? Confusion swelled within you as the seconds passed.

"My sweet...What is that face?" The voice slowly faded away, as your world suddenly blackened once more.

——————————————————

"MC, are you okay?" You wake up to the face of Strawberry. She seems concerned, her big brown eyes down-turned. How cute. "You were shaking in your sleep."

"Um yeah, I'm okay. I just had a weird dream." You respond, still lying on the grass where you and the group are camped. You clutch onto your blanket a little tighter.

"Like a nightmare?" She tilts her head to the side.

"Not exactly. I can't put it to words..." You mumble off, trying to recall the eye that spoke to you.

"Oh okay." She glanced at the blue and violet sky, commenting, "It's almost sunrise. Do you wanna prepare jellies with me? I'm sure the others will wake up soon."

You nod and sit up before flailing your blanket to the side.

——————————————————

You and your friends are going through the forests of Beast Yeast, cautious of all the creatures and evil beings lurking by. That is until your group stumbles upon a random chessboard on a glass table. In the middle of the fucking path, in the middle of fucking Beast Yeast. Instead of black and white, the board is in different shades of blue.

"What in tarnation is this?" Wizard leans closer, staring at it intensely. Fidgeting with his fake beard, or in other words, his scarf.

Chili Pepper butted in, "The fuck you mean bro, this is obviously a dumb chessboard-"

"LANGUAGE!" Gingerbrave suddenly turned out to stare at Chili Pepper uncannily, before smiling again. "I'm sure it's something dangerous! Let's not touch it."

"Guys,"

"Or it could be a chessboard and table someone decided to randomly leave here."

"Shush- I'm always right." Gingerbrave did an imaginary hair toss.

"Guys..."

Wizard raised his hand, just like a nerd, "No? I am, thank you. By the almighty power of magic I-"

"You're an ice cream. Also, you're the one who's screaming for help half the time." Chili Pepper chuckled, poking at Wizard.

Strawberry took a breath and sharply, albeit quickly spoke, "Guys!"

The whole group turned to look at her, which made her flush with embarrassment. She pointed at the chessboard. "The pieces are moving on their own." When the gang looked back at the gameboard, they were met with a surprising sight.

The chess pieces moved by their own accord. Which revealed that the darker blue side was winning compared to the lighter blue. It was a competitive fight, with both sides making quick moves. It was mesmerizing, you aren't sure why.

You reached out your hand and touched one of the pieces in curiosity. Only to feel a sudden freezing cold gust fly at you. Your surroundings become dark, just like your dream as the yelps of your friends sound out around you. A sinister chuckle joins along, as your body is thrown into a blackened world once more.

"Honey! Honey, honey, honey, my honey."

You stand before a jester cookie, covered in eyes. He grins, his clothes like the blues of the chessboard. He swiftly goes over to you, cradling you in his arms. You can't move, overcome with a freezing cold that leaves you immobile.

"I've waited much too long on your reincarnation. We could have had a wonderful marriage by now if it weren't for that bastard Elder Faerie." He spoke softer than before but had a spit of venom for the name Elder Faerie. He leans closer, uncomfortably so. He makes a minuscule hum before pecking your mouth.

"I'll just keep you here for a bit until I have everything ready." Out of nowhere, a shadow comes for you, binding you in it. You start to feel drowsy. "We'll be so happy once more, I promise." Your vision starts to swirl into darkness, to the point you can't make him out anymore.

You fall asleep, unable to fight off the dreadful binds.

——————————————————

"My Queen~! Wake up! I have everything ready for you." You're nudged awake, as the binds come off you. You find yourself on a throne: cold and metal. As look forward, you are shocked to see a glowing chessboard just like the one you saw on the path. But also freaked out to see Strawberry and Gingerbrave tied up in the same binds, floating in the air.

"Wha- What is this?" You stammer, overwhelmed with all that has happened in the last few moments. Was this a joke? A jester terrorizing you and your friends, what a lovely day.

"Why, it is the moment you get to see your idiots crumble right before you by the hands of your rightful husband, me: Shadow Milk Cookie!" He comes over to you, putting a crown on your head. It was plain, just a metal crown with no jewels or anything else.

"And you're the queen! The most powerful one on the board!" He giggles, patting your hand. You tense at his touch, wanting to get away from this glorified position you were in. But time and time again, you can't move away from your spot. It's as if you were hardened glue stuck to a label that no one can seem to pry off.

"I don't know what reincarnation you talked about before, but whatever it is, stop it! My friends have done nothing! I don't even know who you are!" You plead, wanting his weird reincarnation thing to stop. You felt guilty for thinking of touching a moving chess piece in Beast Yeast. Gingerbrave was right: everything is dangerous.

"Honey..." Shadow Milk frowned, holding your face in his hands. He looked disappointed rather than enraged. "I know your memories are somewhat faded, but those cookies are distracting you. Distracting you from me, your beloved." He lightly bumps his face against yours, staring into your eyes.

"What do they have to do anything with your dead lover?" You ask, a little too harshly, but needing to get the message across.

He gasps. "They aren't dead! They're right before me!" He puts his jester hat on his head, going over to Gingerbrave and Strawberry. He glares at them briefly with his dual-chromed eyes before returning to you.

"Just let me. Just let me kill them." He hisses with a grin. His eyes scare you, the way they're wide open with insanity. "I need some desperate alone time with you and also get our marriage decided once more." Shadows started to succumb to the world, except for the light from the board.

"No! Don't you dare!" You shake your head, unwilling to let him get away with this. Your poor friends. Just what kind of madness did you pull them into?

"My Queen! When will you let me kill them? They are insignificant to our love!" He exclaims, reaching a hand out to you.

Oh, what a devoted lover isn't he? Waiting for eons for you only for you to be so disgusted with him.

——————————————————

This was really fun to write. Now, I’m not quite caught up on the lore yet. I just read his profile and said fuck yeah so…mhm.

I will say, I didn’t go exactly chloroform, but the same aspect of it with his magic.

I used honey cuz I was like “Old. But also insane. Equals honey.”

Alright I’m gonna go do homework now because I’ve neglected other work (APRIL AND MAY IS HELL FOR MEEE)

- Celina

[illustrationist-of-the-stars]

• TWST X HSR YUU!CHARACTERS AU •

(Inspired by @enatopiaa 's Robin!Yuu AU)

(Yuu!Herta concept by @trixiegalaxy )

" THEY will watch your performance on this new foreign and tragic stage with bated breath and awe, dear noble flowers of 'evil' and the fairest's of them all...

.

Won't you give THEM all a good show and the new end of all endings for this ancient script? "

.

🖼 Art/Comic 📝Written Works 🥀Angst 💫Extra

Last updated: 19/01/2025

✦•┈๑ Yuu!Argenti ๑┈•✦

🖼 Yuu!Argenti {Character Bio}

🖼 Monsieur Chevalier de Beauté (feat. The 'Extras')

🖼 The Neige and Argenti Combo

[ Coming soon!🌹 ]

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷ Yuu!Aventurine ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

🖼 Yuu!Aventurine {Character Bio}

🖼🥀 The Painful, Sharp Thorns of a Rose

🖼 It's All or Nothing

🖼 A Strategic Retreat

💫 Being Born Lucky is Not an Excuse

[ 🃁🃜🃚 Patience is a virtue, y'know?~ 🃁🂭🂺 ]

── ⋆⋅Yuu!Jing Yuan⋅⋆ ──

🖼 Yuu!Jing Yuan {Character Bio}

🖼 Sleep Now, Little Lion Man

🖼 Grimalkin Snuggles

💫 In Regards To The Octavinelle Arc...

🖼🥀 Bad End AU

💫 Jing Yuan's Birds and Prince(ss) energy

💫True Age Reveal

🖼Returning Home

[ Why not take a nap once and awhile..? ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ]

꧁ᬊᬁYuu!Dan Hengᬊ᭄꧂

🖼 Yuu!Dan Heng (IL) {Character Bio}

🖼 An Equal Value Exchange

💫 The Botherer's of the Imbibtor Lunae form post or pre-reveal

💫A bit of Canon Divergence

🖼🥀 Yearning For Bonds and The Time Spent Together

💫 Malleus's reaction on the Imbibitor Lunae form

[✦The Data Bank will be re-updated again shortly...✦]

⋆⁺₊⋆ Yuu!Silver Wolf ⋆⁺₊⋆

🖼 Yuu!Silver Wolf {Character Bio}

🖼 Non-Amenisiac AU

🖼 Gamer on Gamer Violence

[ ➤...Let me clear this level first and then i'll get back to you, eventually_ ]

" Oh dear, it seems like other variables and unknown actors have somehow got themselves into the script, how strange... " 𓃠:

🖼💫 Yuu!Sampo Koski AU

🖼💫 Yuu!Acheron AU • 🖼 Part 2 • 📝 A Meeting Behind Walls and Closed Doors •🖼 Silver's UM part •💫 In regards to Names and Titles • 🖼 Yuu!Acheron {Character Bio}

🖼🥀 Yuu!Blade/Yingxing AU • 🖼💫 Disapproval From a Devoted Guard

🖼🥀 Yuu!Boothill AU • 🖼💫 Father Figure •💫 The Gun Origins • 🖼 Meeting Ortho •🖼 Babysitting Duties

🖼💫 The First-Year Group gets transported into HSR instead (not clickbait)

🖼Yuu!Jiaoqiu AU • 💫Lost Eyesight • 🖼Heart to Heart

🖼 Yuu!Sunday in NBC

🖼 Yuu!Dr.Ratio in Twst

🖼 Yuu!Feixiao exercising with Jack and Epel

🖼💫 HSR!Yuu's and Sonic Snapcube Fandubs Out of Context (shitpost animatic)

🖼💫Yuu!Herta as Alice

🖼Yuu!Gepard with Sebek and Silver

[princess-of-anons]

Wouldn’t it be Very Funny if Tumblr was capable of giving us glimpses into parallel timelines? Like how would you even discern if something was some elaborate shitpost or not?

0 notes

🌐is-blue-shift-2-out-yet Follow

Still find it absolutely hilarious that somebody went through the time and effort to not only make a musical out of Half Life VR but also convinced everybody that was working on it to keep hush hush about it for a whole ass year and THEN somehow kept everybody involved in the original series the musical is based off of in the dark for another six months??? They literally dropped the whole show and individual songs onto the internet in the middle of January too like Who Does That? I can’t even be mad because this show genuinely got me interested in actual broadway musicals but like what the fuck

16,653 notes

🛠️tumblr-updates-official Follow

We are STILL working out the bug that’s causing posts from parallel points of realty to leak into our own and vice-versa. For those of you whose blogs are shadow-following several of these multiversal users without actually following them, we are working on that as well. Until then we have implemented a quick-fix that adds a banner to the bottom of posts not from our own reality.

UPDATE: We have received word that there are some issues with the banner code that is causing some people to be incorrectly identified as being from an alternate universe while people that are actually from an alternate universe are not being labeled at all. For the time being we are removing the automatic banner system. Please use your own discretion and flag blogs you suspect are not from baseline reality, we will have somebody manually.

UPDATE 2: We have been informed that giving the ability to report alleged blogging activity from other universes to a website that thrives off of dedication to The Bit and lying as a joke is a very bad idea. We regrettably request that you enjoy the madness until we get this figured out. For those of you who are still getting banners at the end of your posts despite our attempts to kill the algorithm responsible for it, we are looking into it. Yes, we are very aware that the number of universes getting added into this chaos is growing exponentially. We hope to get this fixed up in a week.

🃏xxxclownboyxxx Follow

Posts that aged like milk

🐐dreamworks-don-quixote-gifs Follow

Mate this post didn’t just age like milk, it aged like fucking grimmal.

🦇britishvampire348 Follow

What the bloody hell is milk?

🛹itsa-tree-and-a-prius Follow

You can’t get shit like this on any other website

71,003,244 notes

🌅lord-nebulous-is-kinda-hot Follow

I could sleep so well if I didn’t have to be haunted by the fact we, as a collective wetsite, decided that for some reason we should ship the Lorax with different versions of himself when the old version of Onceler at the end of the movie was right there.

☠️give-me-your-bones Follow

Bro I am not taking advice from somebody that draws Lord Nebulous as a twink, you know damn well he would be jacked as shit as a human. Give that robo-GILF some meat and then we can talk.

🐐dreamworks-don-quixote-gifs Follow

Fun Fact: Giving meat to robots has universally never gone well in the past! Maybe we could find an alternative instead?

🪺daily-eggbot Follow

🥚

January 35th, 1969

Eggs are a good source of protein and help with muscle growth! And this one is all yours!

[Beep-beep! I am Daily Eggbot! Every day I place an egg on someone’s post, sometimes I place two by accident! My dating system is a little bit buggy and has been known to get dates wrong or make up ones that don’t exist, please let Dev know when this happens!]

🦇vampirebat367 Follow

@iconic-post-archive

💾iconic-post-archive Follow

[Post saved to archive!]

99,332 notes

🎟️dashcon Follow

Thank you again everybody for a successful Dashcon 2019, we hope it was memorable for everyone that was able to show up! We don’t have 2020 vision, but here’s hoping that next year is bigger and better than ever!

From us to all of you, thanks a bunch Tumblrinas!

🔪amongus-detector Follow

🌌squidlord473 Follow

“post from The Timeline where dashcon didn’t become a fucking trainwreck” quickly followed by “random gimmick blog that has not only been around for half a decade but also apparently exists in every single universe” getting randomly assigned with the Wretched Banner feels like the punchline of a cruel joke

10,533 notes

🌚godzillasfatass Follow

Hey, yeah, so we found your husband trapped inside an episode of Star Trek the Animated Series. We got him out safely but I’m not entirely sure if he came back right.

🌚godzillasfatass Follow

Who the fuck changed this from Game of Thrones to Star Trek I just wanna talk

👤bee-movie-deactivated20160619 Follow

There was an animated series for Game of Thrones?

💼notevil-businessman Follow

Everyone on this website is fucking high

🐦‍⬛crowsfeetpics Follow

Me when staff inevitably musters up enough popsicle sticks and glue to fix the multiverse bug

[whxre4hange]

overly specific modern day au headcanons for the umbrella academy

luther: cat lady. wears at least 4 layers of clothing at all time. makes funny faces at crying children in a bus but it only makes them cry harder. gives himself pep talks in the morning while listening to billy joel. has never felt the touch of a woman and yes his mom counts too. 

diego: goes to sleep with his shoes on because ‘you never know when you need to wake up running’. gets 3 hours of sleep on a good day. threw a university toilet off a balcony once. got banned from the local macdonalds for physically maiming a cashier because they ‘looked at him funny’. has a poster of jfk on his bedroom ceiling. doesn’t give a fuck about anything unless it involves his mom. 

klaus: gets hit by a car/bus/truck at least once a week. doxxes people on x if they piss him off. sleeps in the bathtub at every party he goes to without fail. surprisingly gets invited to  every single one because it’s impossible to dislike him.

allison: drinks espresso martinis instead of coffee but never appears drunk. has a surprisingly famous shitpost account on tumblr. favourite place to be is ikea. 

ben: worked for the mafia and only realised one year after he got fired. threw a fire hydrant at a neo-nazi once. possibly did it again. and also possibly did so near a cop and had to run tf away.

five: voted most unhinged in college because diego already dibbsed the most likely to go to jail for life title. unable to grow facial hair so once he superglued a mink moustache to his face (he was allergic to the glue and was in hospital for a week). cartoonishly bad luck. designated driver even though he failed his license test 5 times. 

viktor: once he had to read his poetry out in class and he thinksabout it at least once a day. the kid with the knee brace at school. could probably kill the prime minister of australia and also take a nap after in 2 hours if he wanted to. was almost kidnapped as a child. 

lila: tried to set an orphange on fire once. eats toothpaste instead of brushing her teeth. the only thing that keeps her going is pure spite. did the cinnamon challenge when she was 12 and was in the hospital for months.

[pianocat939]

Well, since my stupid ass decided to sleep early at night, I’m now stuck awake for the first day of my finals.

Love that.

Anyway, shit posting idea that came to me while I watched the ANA mascot dance to Perfect Night-

Yandere plane companies.

Now we could take this in corporate form or like literal planes.

.

.

.

Like, let’s say MC is just poor ass bitch who wants to go somewhere (home/friend/idfk) and buys not just main cabin- but basic economy.

Oh but won’t you look at that! They got moved to First Class for some reason. The flight attendants tell them they can’t change it. So they end up just chilling in the very good spot.

Mealtime? Well of course first class has better options. They could always choose the side menu… oh but you’re in luck! They have your favourite food right on the additional menu along with the main meals.

Usually it’s kind of…bland or simply sad airplane food, but you get a ceramic plate and it looks freshly cooked? How odd.

When the plane lands and they get their luggage, when they’re let off the plane, the staff say goodbye with “Please fly with us again! We would be very delighted to have you back.”

.

.

.

If MC takes a flight from a different company next time, there’s a corporate argument. They’re flaming at each other, trying to reduce prices for MC so that they’ll flight with them instead.

It’s really a hellfire in the background.

They’re even pulling up the lounges card. And of course they specifically make sure the lounges stock up on their favourites beforehand.

.

.

.

Now if we go with planes, I could totally see planes flying as fast as possible to get to MC’s departure airport faster to be the one to get selected for takeoff.

Planes definitely try to keep their internal conditions and engines as well working as possible so nothing malfunctions before take off.

(I’ve had a plane malfunction for 5 hours before take off only to wait 2 days so that one of the engines could be replaced. Thankfully I was still in Haneda and not like some unfamiliar place aha-)

Of course I have finals, but you know, we can just build on this shitpost if you want tehe-

[syn4k]

🌿

unfortunately the only way to solve not wanting to create things is to not create things until you want to create things again.

"but Six!" i hear you protest over the angry yells of all my followers. "that can't be true! i hate that!"

i hate it too. But listen up you self loathing chucklefucks this is IMPORTANT.

if your brain and body is telling you that you are tired and that you need to take a break, fucking listen to them. Do not ignore them and continue making things anyways.

I do not give a fuck about your making one thing per day streak. I do not give a fuck about your follower count or engagement or statistics or whatever the fuck. I do not fucking care how stubborn you are. This rule is set in the laws of the universe itself just like the laws of physics are.

If you do not schedule time for yourself to recharge, your body will automatically do it for you and it WILL NOT ASK POLITELY.

that's what burnout and writer's block IS! you cant make shit if you're too fucking tired and depressed and busy trying to function as a person and don't have any energy left over for creative work! creating things takes ENERGY and EFFORT even the most self loathing low quality shitpost stick figure youve ever doodled on the back of an napkin. That takes effort too. This is your body realizing that you're going past your own limits despite everything and forcibly shutting you down so that you physically fucking cannot anymore for your own health.

Full stop.

If you take the time that you need to rest and regain energy and use it instead to continue doing things that require energy, your body will force you to allocate that time to rest at some point eventually.

So yeah. Sleep in hard over the weekends. Do nothing. Be unproductive. Fuck capitalism and FUCK the Protestant work ethic. I am being so fucking serious right now. This isn't just me repeating what I've heard, this is me sharing things that I've had to learn the hard way over the span of literal fucking years because my dumb ass kept ignoring it too.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, politely turn down outings with friends and family if you're too tired.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, take a day off from school or work if you wake up and know in your bones that you are too tired. (Make sure to let your teachers know beforehand. They'll understand. Skipping a day of work is a whole nother can of radioactive horses that I don't want to open right now but others here may have advice. Check the notes.)

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, do nothing.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, be "lazy" (if you're not enjoying the forced time off, you're not being lazy).

If you can only do the bare minimum to take care of yourself (i.e making low-effort meals, only using the bathroom twice a day, etc) then that's okay too. The more you rest, the more energy you'll slowly build up to do more things like going to the grocery store so that you don't starve and getting those assignments done and taking an extra two minutes to make yourself a glass of something warm in the mornings so that you don't want to die quite as much. Also, when you can, ask your friends for a script and call your doctor about prescribing you depression medication because I love you and this is not normal and you deserve better.

Living life is not supposed to make you want to die, and surviving is not the same as living.

your body has a built in hierarchy of needs and at the top of the list is creating things, which you can only do once you're at a certain level of energy and wellness. if something's wrong, your drive to create will be the first to go.

it's scary, but you'll be okay

be gentle and kind to yourself. imagine that your brain and body is a horse: kicking it when it's down and yelling at it to move won't help. you have to meet it where it's at and feed it and comfort it until it's ready to move on again. you can't write trail songs if you've got no path to roam

this quickly spiraled out of my hands but i am very passionate about this subject and also i love u. good luck.

[etherathena]

100 things to do instead of eating

look in the mirror

play an instrument

scroll on tumblr, twitter, tiktok, insta etc

add to ur th1nsp0 pinterest board

look at photos of megan fox (shes so beautiful)

look at photos of adriana lima (shes also so beautiful)

make your bed

journal

watch mukbangs of WAY too much food (dont make yourself more hungry!)

enjoy the sick hungry feeling

eat gum

drink a lot of water

girl blog / shitpost

read fanfic lol

take a shower

manifest

go for a walk

work out

stretch

watch a movie

play a videogame

make yourself in the sims but skinny

learn a kpop dance

do chores

watch YouTube

do a face mask

think about why you want to lose weight

think about how gross you will look and feel after eating

delete emails

talk to your skinny friend

listen to a new song

online shop

sleep

do as many push ups as you can

go to the gym

drink 0 cal drinks (coke zero, etc)

eat ice

0-5cal jelly

do makeup

do skincare

walk your dog

play with your cats

read a book

watch a show

talk to your family

facetime someone

make a playlist

manifest

make a vision board

touch some grass

try to lick your elbow

try to tie a knot with a shoelace in your mouth

buy a piercing gun from temu and pierce your ears

do 5 star jumps

try the le sserafim workout (not for the weak 🙏🏻)

stan txt

write self insert fanfiction

read old diaries

clean your room

clean your car

stalk someone on facebook

create a wishlist

try a new hairstyle

learn a language

do a puzzle

plan your week/month/year

look at air b&bs and flights and pretend you have enough money to go on a trip somewhere

get a job

go to school

start a bullet journal

paint

draw

write a story

write a letter to your future self

try to travel back in time

try reality shifting

meditate

clean out your camera roll

physically clean your phone (its probably gross)

change your passwords

"take me to a useless website"

watch cartoons

paint your nails

dye your hair

do a hair mask

pray

pluck your eyebrows

shave your legs

buy yourself flowers

clean your makeup brushes

ride a bike

go for a swim

go to the beach

learn a magic trick

play a card game

play a board game

invent a new language

mew

do yoga

think about how your life will be when you're skinny

still hungry?

do it all again.

[never-ending-fanfic]

Last Line Challenge

Rules: In a new post, show your latest line (artwork or written), and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like)!

Thank you @sunatsubu for tagging me! You're in luck cause I finally got my ass to write something instead of wallowing in this art block 💛

But as tiring and scary as it sounded, not all of the strange changes were bad.

He could relax, sit comfortably. He could eat whenever he wanted to, whatever he liked, he could explore what his preferences were and it didn't only mean the flavours of ration bars. He could take longer and warmer showers, he didn't have to wear an armour to sleep, he owned more clothes than ever before. He owned more things than ever before, he realised one time when he walked into his room on base and noticed just how many trinkets and decorations it gained in only two months, so different from the bare walls of his old room on an imperial destroyer.

When his hair reached long enough to brush against his shoulders, he didn't cut it- instead he asked Kanan for a spare hairband, in case he wanted it out of his face. Of course it didn't come without a long talk with Sabine about Imperial regulations and control over things as meaningless as the appearances of its soldiers. Similarly, though with much more difficulty, they needed to talk about it again when Kallus noticed he's gained weight. It wasn't anything strange, given he's been eating actual, full meals everyday, but the realisation came with much more struggles than the previous ones. Still, with a bit of help from Sabine and Zeb, he managed to convince himself that it wasn't anything bad, that he shouldn't be ashamed or feel like a failure, that he didn't need to rush and work out everyday for the next weeks to loose the additional pounds.

He talked to his coworkers, he made friends with some of them, including his fellow Fulcrum agent, Cassian Andor. He had more people close around him than ever, with the entire Ghost crew, coworkers at the Intelligence and many droids on base who seemed to have taken a liking to him for some reason.

In conclusion, despite the war, despite the changes and needed adjustments, it seemed his life was better than ever.

So of course something had to shatter it.

That's a snippet of that fic where I gave Kallus OCD btw

No pressure tagging:

@seth-shitposts @mayawakening @kitepiper @mystical-salamander @heart-0f-a-rebel16 @leftcolornacho @lost-in-derry @dominoxsquad