#shit's going to hit the fan and make all of his anxieties worse!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

michi-hawkeye · 7 months ago

Note

If you need a tourniquet or if you wanna turn and quit Know that I'll be by your side << michi u need to tell me moooooooooooore 😍😍😍

I gladly wil! ❤️

The fic is actually a prompt fill, kinley have been dating for six months before shit hits the fan and the fic starts in Tommy’s pov and takes place right in the aftermath of Buck being struck.

Here’s a snippet of the opening (fair warning its in its rough draft stage)

Tommy watches the rain pound onto the ground of the airfield under the safety of the hanger. He had been anxious all shift due to the anticipation of introducing himself to Captain Nash and Sargent Grant-Nash as Buck’s boyfriend tomorrow night and hopefully be able to ask them a question the little black box to go with it tucked away in his locker. Something bigger than that was eating at him now like some premonition that something is going to go wrong tonight, he usually didn’t let storms get to him since it was part of his job to fly through them. Although he knows Buck is out there working right now and he knows his boyfriend is an unintentional danger magnet so him feeling anxious for somewhat no reason is definitely justified. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as he hopes Buck and his team are staying safe out there before he leans away from the hanger door threshold to go and try to focus on keeping his anxiety at bay.

He tries to keep checking his phone at a minimum as much as he is anxious he can’t be distracted, so he goes through the station chores even through he knows they’ve already been done, so he tries to burn out the anxiety by working out. It wasn’t until he was walking out of the showers after his workout he was finally given the reason for his anxiety.

As he’s changing into a new uniform shirt, his phone goes off with the familiar sounds of the wind and percussion instruments that play The Mandalorian theme song, he had made it Eddie’s ring tone on his phone after watching the show with him, Buck and Chris one day and realizing him and Mando have a very similar personality to Eddie’s begrudging annoyance. Eddie is also one of the few people who is on Tommy’s short Do not disturb bypass list, a rock of dread sinks down his stomach as he tries not to think of worse case scenarios but that would be naive with the storm raging outside tonight and how dangerous their jobs are in general.

Before answering the phone he tries to sallow the forming lump in his throat as he takes a moment to look at the photo he had taken of a smiling Eddie who had a arm thrown over a equally smiling Buck’s shoulder, who had his own arms wrapped around Tommy’s shoulders during a guy’s day out which was used for each of their contact photos.

He tries to keep his voice even as he hears an equally breaking breath on the other end of the line when it connects “Eddie what’s wrong?”

“It’s buck—- there was a accident on a call he’s in critical—-“ Eddie takes a shaky breath while Tommy’s heart shatters, “we’re at Cedars get here as fast as possible” we don’t know if he’ll make it goes unsaid, it kicks Tommy to start packing his duffle.

“Eddie what happened at the call?” Tommy asked, he doesn’t want to be in the dark on how his boyfriend had gotten injured enough to be considered critical.

“I’ll tell you more when you get here I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell you right now, drive safe okay”

“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can” he blinks away the tears that have been building up, as he listens to the call disconnecting.

“Cap I need to leave family emergency”

—-

Just as he pulls out of the airfield, the bachelor theme plays from his car’s speakers signaling that Maddie is calling, him and Maddie had been binge watching old episodes of the show together when they both had off days in the name of bonding while everyone else had shifts since they couldn't watch the new episodes without chimney, it would have been funny to hear if it wasn’t for the situation at hand, with his eyes still on the road he clicks the green call button on the dashboard screen.

“Tommy” he hears Maddie’s watery voice come through the speakers “did you hear what happened to buck”

He was a only child who has always wanted siblings and having known Maddie these past few months he grew to view her as one, and if she needed him to be strong he’ll try to be, he coughed to try to prevent the impending sob and to try to steady his voice before responding“ Eddie just called me to let me know, I’m heading over there right now”

“Good they’ll both need you”

“I’m here for you too, you know that right?” He asked gently, it always stings when he sees Evan and Maddie throw aside thier mental and emotional well-being in favor of focusing on others like they themselves don’t matter; giving until they break.

“I know but knowing those two Eddie probably saw first hand what had happened, so he’ll need someone to lean on who understands” he thinks back on the stories Buck had mentioned in the past when either one had been injured. They fall into a silence perhaps to let themselves process what's happening.

The silence breaks when he hears the faint barely formed word babbles from Jee-Yun “jelly bean is there?” He had given her the nickname shortly after meeting her and Maddie when he noticed she jumped and skipped around more than walked, and how it must have been a family trait because Buck would do the same given the chance, Maddie and Buck had cracked up when he commented on the shared mannerism.

Maddie gives a sad chuckle “I called Anne and John to pick her up to spend the night with them, they’re planning to meet us at the hospital”

“What about your parents?” Tommy asks, he doesn't trust the buckley parents for shit to care for the sweet girl that he’s starting to let himself view as his niece. He wants to know if they're gonna twiddle their thumbs and not show up for their son again but this time while he’s probably dying.

“I also wanted to warn you too that my parents are coming to the hospital, I know you have your reasons on avoiding them I respect that and this isn't the ideal situation to meet them now, in truth it surprised me that they decided to go at all”

“Maddie they hurt you and Buck, made both your lives hell that's why I avoid them you know that cause if I ever see them I won’t be able to not tell them what I think” he had avoided meeting the Buckley parents the last two nights because how much disdain he had for them but he has enough awareness that two people he cares about still want to try to have that bond and he’ll support them and be there when he helps pick up the pieces when their parents refuse to put in the effort to fix the damage they cause.

“I know, can we continue this later? , I’ll see you at the hospital” he hears Maddie say with a defeated sigh, kicking himself mentally for pushing her at an already stressful time.

He hears Maddie shuffle and with a much brighter tone say “Say bye to Uncle Tommy, Jee” hearing the new title makes him choke on the building lump in his throat.

“Buh Buh, Uh T’my!” Jee says with a giggle, oblivious to what is going on and Tommy hopes when she does learn, Buck will at least be okay by then. He can be strong for her, Maddie, Eddie, and Chris until Evan wakes up

“Bye sweet girl see you soon!” He attempts to say brightly but he can hear how weak it sounds to his own ears. He hears Jee giggle in response before the line disconnects. He lets a few tears fall as he turns another corner on the road towards the hospital.

————————

(You can thank my sister’s car playlist for the title its from Tourniquet by Zach Bryan)

#michi rambles #911 fanfic #evan buck buckely #tommy kinard #911 fic #911 abc #911 spoilers #bucktommy #911 on abc #archive of our own #tag game #wip tag #wip tag game #answered asks

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mxtxfanatic · 6 months ago

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Book of the Week: Little Madman’s Guide to Acting Good

Author: Li Wenjiu (李温酒)

Genre: rebirth, modern setting, business world, danmei

Rating: T (but maybe on the higher teens level for the mental illness themes)

My Synopsis: Chen Qizhao lost his entire family, family business, and even his only remaining friend to the machinations of a hidden snake in the grass, and now—you know how this goes—the universe has given him a second chance to course correct! Reborn into his 18-year-old year old self two years before shit hits the fan, he must navigate the maze of treachery before it has revealed itself, keep his loved ones out of the line of fire, and battle his growing anxiety that any hesitation or mistake could cost him a second time.

My Review: I absolutely love the way this author handles the MC’s rebirth coming from a very traumatic life. Chen Qizhao loses his entire family and his only friend to the schemes of an old “family friend,” and has to live a very reckless life to attain vengeance for them. And when he’s reborn, despite them all being alive and healthy and him having the chance to give them all a happy ending, that trauma just… does not go away. He has to deal with the anxiety and paranoia that he built up in his former life, meanwhile his loved ones also have to deal with his spiraling seemingly out of nowhere. I especially love how despite the fact that the family loves each other, they don’t actually get each other (which provided a means of exploitation for their enemies), so a good part of the plot is them learning how to care for each other in a way that actually comes off as caring to the person they love, with the MC being the first to make a move.

With all that being said, content warnings: this novel is not shy about Chen Qizhao’s anxieties and paranoia and the negative impact it has on his physical and mental health. In fact, it gets worse as the story goes on and his loved ones get progressively worried about his behavior. What I like about it is that this is a major plot point and not used as a gimmick by the author or left unaddressed (or worse, healed by “the power of love”). If mental health problems are a trigger for you, be prepared for it, but it is treated respectfully in regards to the MC. (Other characters suffer from mental health problems, namely a particular antagonist, but his are exploited by bigger baddies and not necessarily given any deep-dive or redemption.)

The translation is… alright. It’s legible, but it has a bunch of pronoun confusion, name mix-ups, and word mix-ups (the amount of times I’ve seen “time” used in place of “thing”…) that are bearable at the beginning but get pretty egregious around chapt. 90ish. It is what it is, I guess…

Translation: complete

#human promotes #little madman’s guide to acting good #god i love me some rebirth/revenge novels

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ateezreactionsandscenarios · 2 years ago

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Publicity Stunt

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader

Genre: Fluff

CW: None

Word Count: 3305

Summary: Your comeback wasn’t doing as well as it needed to so your manager comes up with the idea of a dating scandal as a publicity stunt...the only problem being you’re single.

Part of StayTeez Trope’pril

Prompt List Series Masterlist MasterList Buy me a Coffee

You were in the dance practice room again, drilling your routine into your brain over and over again despite already being in the middle of your promotion period. You couldn’t help but feel you were always doing something wrong, your comeback wasn’t doing so great, people weren’t interested and you didn’t know where you were going wrong.

“Y/n, why don’t you take a break for a bit?” Your best friend Seonghwa suggests, a worried look covering his face as he watches you push yourself to pure exhaustion.

“Nope, no time, I need to make everything better.” You argued back, not taking your eyes off your reflection in the mirror.

“Y/n it’s okay, everyone has a comeback that doesn’t work out, it’s part and parcel of the job, come on.” You continue to ignore him, your face focused and over analysing every step. Seonghwa had seen enough. Getting to his feet he turns off the music, bringing your dancing to a jarring halt.

“Hwa what the fuck!?”

“You need to call it a day today, you’ll make yourself sick.” You knew you could carry on for a few more hours but you also knew not to argue with Seonghwa, you’ll only come out of it worse. You begrudgingly give in and accept the water bottle he hands over to you.

“You’re pushing yourself too hard y/n, just get through your promotions and learn from this comeback.” You sat on the small couch next to him, your body now feeling heavy as the exhaustion starts to set in.

“It’s just disheartening. I worked so hard on this and no one seems to give a shit.” You sigh, your head flopping onto his shoulder.

“We all get times like this but we all grow and learn from it, you’ll be okay I promise.”

You’re enjoying the comfort that Seonghwa brings to you. His advice and encouraging words were helping your mental state a little and you knew how lucky you were to have someone like him by your side. Just as you could feel yourself start to doze you were startled by the door to the dance room opening. Your eyes flick up to see your manager standing in the doorway, wide eyed and for some reason uneasy.

“Sorry, I didn’t know your boyfriend was here, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” You can’t help but crack a giggle at your manager.

“No it’s fine, he’s just a friend and you’re not interrupting, what’s up?”

“Oh...right. I was just checking in on you and wanted to see if you were almost ready for me to drive you home.”

“Yeah I’m done for today, just give me a few minutes to get my stuff together and I’ll come find you.” You smile. Your manager nods in agreement and leaves you and Seonghwa alone. Shutting the door he pulls out his phone and quickly typing out an email to your CEO with an idea to get you the publicity you needed.

The next morning your manage pulls you into the CEO's office with no word of an explanation. Your anxiety hit the roof, you thought this was it for you, you did that bad they were going to cut you out of the company completely. You were planning out your apology and ways you could do better during short trip it took to get to the office, but once you were there it wasn't what you were expecting.

"Y/n as you know things aren't going to plan but we've come up with an idea that would hopefully get you the publicity and attention you need...that's if you agree to it anyway." Your boss says, leaning forward on his desk, hands clasped together awaiting a response.

"What's the idea?"

"A scandal." Now, you weren't a fan of the word 'scandal' normally when someone was caught up in one of those 9 times out of 10 it ended badly and quite frankly you didn't want your name getting dragged through the mud. The nervousness on your face was evident so he continued to explain.

"We were talking about getting you wrapped up in a dating scandal, all you'll need to do is go on a few public dates and make sure you're caught, the rest will do itself." You weren't opposed to the idea but there was one fatal flaw in their plan...you're single.

"But I don't have a boyfriend to get in a dating scandal to begin with...how will this work?"

"Fake dating. Your manager mentioned how you're very close to Park Seonghwa from Ateez, he even told me how he mistook you both for a couple last night." You nod along, quietly agreeing while you wait for him to continue.

"If your manager thought that, and he sees you everyday, then it'll be easy enough to sway the media and the public into thinking its real. I'm not asking you to do anything drastic, no big love gestures or anything like that but just go on a few 'dates', simply hang out together and you'll be fine."

"I...I'll have to discuss this with him first, I'm okay with it but I need to know he is too before I agree to anything." Your boss nods in understanding.

"That's ok, go make a phone call now, but do explain that this will bring Ateez attention too, I assume they could do with a little publicity seeing as they're on a break right now."

After leaving the office you make a quick phone call to Seonghwa, you were ready to explain everything but then found out he's just had the same conversation at KQ.

"Your manager called mine last night, they came up with the idea together." He chuckled. You both couldn't believe how sneaky they'd been but you had to give it to them, it was pretty impressive.

"I'm okay with it if you are, I need all the attention I can get right now." You sigh.

"Then let's do it, how hard can it be? We just hang out, get a few photos taken and there you go." His optimism made you smile and you were so grateful to have a friend like him who was willing to help you in this way.

"Okay, I'll go tell them...thanks Hwa I owe you."

The next day was the day of your first ‘date’ with Seonghwa and you didn’t know why you were nervous, he’s your best friend so you just had to act like you always do but maybe it was knowing you were both going to be all over dispatch that was setting your anxiety off.

You were in the car with your manager, he’d just parked at the destination of your ‘date’.

“Okay, here’s where I leave you, I’ll drop you a text once I’ve sent an anonymous message to dispatch letting them know where you are that way you’ll get a heads up at least. You got this okay, just be like you usually are.” He smiled warmly at you hoping to settle your nerves a little.

“Do you really think this is a good idea? What if it backfires and people end up hating me?”

“I doubt that would happen, yes there will be a few fans that are upset but that’s going to happen. People love the both of you so why wouldn’t the be happy to see their favourite idols together?” You take a deep breath and nod before you head out of the car.

“I’ll be in work so give me a call if you need a ride home or not.” You nod again in thanks and shut the door walking off to your meeting spot.

To your surprise Seonghwa was already there, playing on his phone while he waits.

“Were you waiting long?” You ask, catching his attention.

“No I’ve only been here 5 minutes.” He smiles. “Shall we?” He offers you his arm to take which you do so but rather stiffly.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, I’m just nervous for some reason.”

“You don’t need to be, it’s me, come on let’s grab a milkshake...my treat.” He nudges you with a smile making you smile back, your anxieties melting away slightly.

On your way to get your milkshakes you get the text from your manager telling you the message was sent out and you were surprised by how fast dispatch were to get the story they wanted as not even 10 minutes later Seonghwa was nudging you again.

"I guess they're here, there's one over there." He warns you gesturing lightly with his head to be more discreet. You make it look like your glancing around at the scenery so you could spot the photographer.

"I guess we'll give them what they want." He smiles, intertwining his hand with yours. You look at your hands held tightly together and then up at him to see a warm comforting smile on his face.

You both made sure to be very touchy with each other, holding hands, him throwing his arm around your shoulders or waist when you were stood still, long eye contact and anything else you could think of. Before too long though it seemed you’d both forgotten about being followed by dispatch, you found yourselves not looking around for photographers or worrying about if you were acting “couply” enough, you were just being yourselves and enjoying each others company.

The next morning you were woken by your phone constantly going off, notifications from Twitter and Instagram piling in by the hundreds. You look through your notifications to see what the hell was going on only to find the photos of your ‘date’ plastered all over social media.

“BREAKING: Ateez Seonghwa reportedly dating Y/n.”

“Idol star Y/n seen with Ateez Park Seonghwa on a date.”

“New power couple? Ateez Seonghwa and Y/n spotted together on a date.”

Those were just a few of the headlines you’d seen. You told yourself from the beginning of this plan that you’d never look at the comments out of fear of getting hate, but the curiosity got too much.

“This was such a surprise! They’re so cute together.”

“I don’t know how I feel about this, maybe if it was another girl then okay 😕”

“This has to be fake.”

“My two babies TOGETHER! Excuse me while I go ugly cry.”

“It’s refreshing to see him so genuinely happy, I hope y/n treats him right.”

Just like your manager had said, there were some negatives but you were happy to see a good amount of positives. You two were blowing up, every page you went on it was people talking about you both, Instagram was flooded with the dispatch photos and you even had your friends sending you the same photos asking if it was true and why you didn’t tell them. You ignored the messages for now, you didn’t know how much you were allowed to reveal to close friends and whether or not you should be saying to fellow idols that it’s all a publicity stunt. Your thoughts were cut short when your phone rang.

“Have you seen your socials?” Seonghwa’s beaming voice asked.

“I have, we’re everywhere, dispatch are fast workers I’ll give them that.”

“They are. I had a lot of fun last night, I know it was a fake date but it was fun.” You could feel yourself starting to blush, you felt like you were talking to some guy you’d met on a blind date not your best friend.

“I did too Hwa and thank you for the milkshake.”

“Well there’s more where that came from if you’re happy to go on another fake date with me.” Your heart was hammering in your chest, this feeling was otherworldly to you. It’s not like he was asking you out on a real date but at the same time you couldn’t help but feel flustered.

“I’d like that, when were you thinking?”

“How does Saturday sound?”

“I’ll be there.”

Over the rest of your promotion period you and Seonghwa made it a habit to go on two ‘dates’ a week, but now the only problem was the line between friendly dates and real dates was starting to blur for you. It didn’t help that feelings had started to creep in. Despite the whole relationship being fake you couldn’t help but feel it was real when you were with him and the dispatch photos only added to your delusions.

It was safe to say the plan had worked, you were getting more attention on social media and views on your music, the cheers at the music shows seemed to be louder and you’d even had your first win. The same went for Ateez, with Seonghwa’s name being all over social media they were gaining more attention without needing to do anything.

“Well this has been a great success.” Your manager says taking a seat next to you in the practice room. “Once these last few days are over with you can go back to normal, no more dating scandal, just normal y/n again.”

You could feel your stomach drop. He was right once all this was over you and Seonghwa would go back to how you used to be, but you weren’t ready for that, not yet anyway.

“Yeah, no more being followed with cameras.” You laugh trying to mask how upset you actually were.

You heard a faint knock on the door before Seonghwa’s head popped around the door.

“I'll leave you guys to it.” Your manager smiles before leaving, giving Seonghwa a welcoming pat on the shoulder. Seonghwa’s mood is overly bright in comparison to yours but seeing him smiling at you made you realise the feelings that were truly starting to blossom.

“Is everything okay?” He asks coming over to you.

“Yeah, he was just telling me that now promotions are coming to an end we don’t need to worry about the fake dating thing anymore.” You sigh but keep a smile on your face as best you can. You notice how Seonghwa’s smile drops slightly at the news, maybe he was just as disappointed as you.

“Does it need to stop this very minute?”

“I’m not sure, I think we have until my promotions end.”

“Then how do you feel about going on one more date? Close off the whole press thing.” He asks with a raised eyebrow. You felt your heart stop for a second and a brief flash of hope that you weren’t the only one feeling the way you do. You’d expected him to be glad it was coming to an end, but the disappointment on his face and the proposal of one last date got your hopes up.

“I’d love that.”

“Tomorrow it is then, be ready, it’s go big or go home.”

The next evening Seonghwa picked you up, a small basket in hand and a small flower.

“What’s all this?”

“Thought we could go for a late picnic.” He smiled handing you the small flower. It’s moments like this you forget all the dates were fake and the affection you’re showing to one another is also fake...or it should be.

Walking to the park Seonghwa was a lot more touchy with you, his hand entwined with yours as he walked shoulder to shoulder with you. You took a glance around to find no cameras around yet so you found it out of character for him to be like this when they weren’t around, but you weren’t complaining.

He’d lead you to a park that was filled with flower beds and the lamps dotted around gave off a very romantic atmosphere. He’d really meant it when he said go big or go home because this had been the most romantic date you’d been on thus far. He let go of your hand and walked off a little further, pulling a blanket out from the basket and setting it down on the floor for you to sit on and pulling out the small dishes of food he’d made, laying them out nicely in front of you.

“You really went all out tonight.” You giggle waiting for him to sit with you.

“I said we’d make this a big one.” He hands you a drink and you both talk like you normally do, that was until he caught you shivering.

“Take my jacket.”

“No I can’t you’ll be cold, I’m fine honestly.” The slight chatter of your teeth gave you away and Seonghwa rolled his eyes with a smile as he took of his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, rubbing your arms lightly to help warm you up faster.

You were too distracted by the affection from Seonghwa to hear the very faint click of a camera, but Seonghwa’s ears pricked at the noise. He was a little disheartened that the photographers turned up as quick as they did, he had a plan in mind but he ideally wanted to go through with it before they turned up.

“I have something for you.” He beamed reaching for the basket and your eyes widened with curiosity. He quickly rummaged in the basket for the small gift he kept tucked away at the bottom, pulling out a small pink Lego heart.

“I made this for you this morning, I know it’s not much but I hope you like it.” He says placing it in the palm of your hand. You wanted to cry, it was so simple but coming from him it felt like so much more.

“I love it.” You beam trying to blink back the happy tears that were threatening to fall.

You spent the rest of the picnic talking about how much fun you’ve both had and how nice it’s been to be able to hang out properly even if it was just to get more attention from the public. It was getting late and you knew you both needed to call it a night. Without saying anything you both proceeded to pack everything up and get yourselves ready to go home, but that’s when Seonghwa held your hand stopping you from walking off.

“Since this is the last date do you think we should go out with a bang for them.” He asks nodding in the general direction of a photographer. You raise an eyebrow waiting for him to explain his idea, but no explanation came.

“Yes?”

“Okay, but what’s your plan?” He didn’t answer again. Seonghwa placed the basket down on the floor and pulled you in closer to him, his hand settling on your waist as the other came up to hold your face and pull you into him. He was firm but gentle with how he kissed you and it took your breath away. Your hands gripped the sides of his shirt like you were trying to ground yourself from what was happening. It was everything you wanted and better than you’d ever imagined, but it ended to quickly for your liking.

“I think that should be enough for them.” He smiles glancing over your shoulder. “But it wasn’t for me.” He pulls you in for another kiss and you can feel yourself melting into him. You both smile into the kiss and for that moment it was like you were the only two people to exist. Pulling away again his face drops but he still holds you close.

“Do we really need to end this, does it really need to be only for publicity, can’t we keep this up...maybe make it a real thing?” Your eyes widen again, you can’t tell if you’d really heard it or if it was your post kiss bliss making you hear things.

“What?”

“Can we be together for real and not just for publicity?” You could feel tears brim your eyes again as you nod at him, your smile beaming and his matching yours.

Tag List: @stardragongalaxy @kpopjust4u @whatudowhennooneseesyou @8tinytings @jenotation @grim-adventures58 @owjohny @ker1 @tinkerbell460 @haylstoney @scuzmunkie @halesandy @multihunbun @kodzukein @maskedmochii @queenwiinks @hellomingi @woosannie

#trope'pril #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #seonghwa #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa fluff #park seonghwa scenarios #park seonghwa fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #titch collabs #stayteez trope'pril #kpop

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my-own-walker · 1 year ago

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Someone You've Never Seen Before

A Kyle Spencer Fan Fiction

frat!kyle AU, fem!main character, sexual themes, mature language, use of drugs and alcohol, frat boy antics

I woke in the morning wrapped in someone's arms. I felt safe, encompassed in the warmth of a chest, soft explosive breaths escaping in an even rhythm above my head. It was peaceful.

When you first wake up, your mind is not fully booted up. Anything that's been weighing on you doesn't exist for a small moment. Your aches and pains haven't entirely set in. Worries and anxieties are null.

Then, all at once, it hits you.

It started with my head. An intense ache seared through my skull causing me to wince overtly. Then came nausea, which soured any nice mood I had established within seconds of being awake. A sudden tautness assaulted my middle, reminiscent of a tightrope or a tightly wound sail on a ship. It was an unwelcome reminder of the self-abuse I'd committed with my more-than-several drinks the night prior.

Then, I became all too aware of the arms wrapped around my frame. An awful thought, or should I say realization, struck me. I shifted my head softly, looking up to confirm that I had been asleep with Kyle.

The sunlight cast through the curtains lit his face angelically, his pale skin illuminated by the morning's yellow light. His head tilted back awkwardly over the back of his sofa, his nostrils flaring slightly with his breathing. His hair was tousled, blonde curls hanging suspended in the air like vines twisting down from a String of Hearts plant. He was sitting up sleeping, both of his arms wrapped tightly around me at my shoulders and waist.

My head was situated on the right side of his chest, my arm lay lazily across his middle, and my legs stretched out to the side across the couch. Our bodies were entangled in a way that didn't suggest anything suspicious, but instead in a way that would make it hard for me to escape without incident.

An indescribable wave of nausea washed over me. One much worse than the static stomachache that presided before. It became inevitable that I would have to face the awkward reality, with Kyle, that I had spent the night in his room. I didn't want to vomit on him. That would be leagues worse than an awkward admittance of stupidity and drunken absent-mindedness that led me to wake up in a frat guy's room.

I shifted in an attempt to subtly wiggle myself out of his grip. The motion, instead, woke him up, in a startled sort of way. He inhaled sharply through his nose and let go of me swiftly, eyes wide. I shot up from the couch, heading for the door.

"Bathroom?" was all I could muster.

"Down the hall," Kyle rasped in return, adjusting his position on the couch, panic on his face.

I finished what needed to be done quickly. The bathroom was empty, thankfully, the door propped open just a few doors down from Kyle's room. I barely made it in the door before my stomach turned on its axis.

I made the walk of shame back to Kyle's bedroom and was met with a closed door. One struggles to ascertain the etiquette in a situation such as the one I was in. Do you knock on the door of the room you just spent the night in? Or do you simply barge in?

Cringing, I elected for the prior, rapping quietly on the barrier between me and running out of there in last night's clothes before I was seen. Kyle opened the door a crack, peering out before swinging it open quickly to usher me in. I hurried into the space, letting him shut the door as quietly as possible behind me.

"Shit, Kyle, I'm so sorry," I whispered, wincing as he turned around to look at me. I felt naked under his unreadable gaze, clad in his shirt.

"It's okay," he replied, simply, shuffling to the spot on the floor where my dress and cardigan laid, discarded. He picked up the fabric and moved it around in his hands. "Pretty sure this stuff isn't wet anymore."

I held my arms out. Kyle took the gesture as permission to toss my outfit to me. It landed clumsily in my grasp. Dropping my clothes, I took the bottom hem of Kyle's tee in my fingers and paused, looking up to see him still looking at me.

"Oh, right, I'll turn around," he whispered, making a show of averting his gaze so I could change.I made quick work of exchanging his shirt for my own dress and sliding the cardigan over my arms. I folded the borrowed shirt up and placed it on the dresser next to me.

"You can turn back around now," I spoke shyly, breaking the silence. He spun on his heel, standing awkwardly by the door still. "I should go," I added.

"Right, yes," he stuttered.

"Thanks for, uh, everything," I stammered, walking quickly toward the exit, avoiding eye contact. It wasn't like I had sex with him, but Jesus, it was horribly humiliating to be in that position.

I wrapped my hand around the doorknob and turned it, disgustingly aware of how close I was standing to Kyle. I could feel his eyes on me and it made me want to crawl out of my skin.

"Wait, Hannah," he whisper-yelled, the door now open a crack. I whipped my head in his direction. "Your phone. It was here all along." He pointed down at the spot where my clothes were. It was hidden, not lost. He stooped down to pick it up and rushed over to hand it to me. "Must've been under your dress, hah," he laughed awkwardly, looking deep into my eyes. My stomach flipped, only further provoking the nausea that still lingered.

"Thank you," I muttered before hurrying out, rushing through the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door of Kappa Lambda Gamma.

I arrived back to the apartment with a huff, ready to hop in the shower and wash off the events of the night before with the hottest water I could handle. Unfortunately, I showed up at the same time as Lily's conquest of the night, Tyler from TKE, burst out of her room, half-dressed and still half-drunk. I stepped to the side to let him pass and exit before cracking up loudly.

"Lily, you whore!" I shouted.

"Han! Get in here," she called out in reply, voice sounding muffled. When I entered her room, she lay flat on her stomach under her white duvet, her head nestled under a pillow.

"Tyler Richards?" I smirked, crossing the room to sit on the side of her bed.

"That's who that was?" she groaned.

I half-laughed, half-gasped at her before exclaiming, "You mean to tell me you didn't know?!" I pulled the pillow off her head, revealing the disarray underneath. Her blonde hair was twisted into an untidy mess, resembling an animal's nest. When she turned to look at me, I could see that her eye makeup was essentially smeared across her face.

"I knew last night, I guess," she rasped, blinking to help her eyes adjust to the light. "Where were you? You disappeared like, as we arrived."

"I could say the same, love," I laughed. "I crashed there."

"At KLG? Death wish much?" Lily cried, sitting up. The duvet fell down, exposing her body, which was clad only in a bra, hickies peppered all over her neck and chest. I tried not to stare, but it was really glaring.

"It was ok, I, uh, found an empty room," I lied, looking down at my hands and picking at my nails. "Just locked the door and stuff. I was really really drunk." I looked up as she chewed her lip, weighing my words. She didn't believe me, but I couldn't tell the truth.

Finally, she decided to accept my story without a fight. "So, what you're saying is, you didn't fuck anyone last night?" she smirked, pushing me gently.

"No, I am scoreless," I muttered, rolling my eyes. "What about you? You vixen."

Lily adjusted her position, now sitting criss-cross-applesauce facing me. "I stayed at the party for a few hours. I remember drinking. I remember doing shots with some guys from TKE. I remember kissing someone in front of the bonfire. The rest is history," she explained. "I obviously went home, and had sex with Tyler, which is so annoying."

"Hey, as long as you were safe," I giggled. "And you're home safe, too. Good job bringing him back here."

"There's nothing like waking up to a guy saying 'fuck' and running out of your room," she sighed, staring off.

"It's only the best part of a night out," I snarked, sympathetically rubbing her shoulder. "And now, I must shower, because I am a wreck." I stood and set course to the bathroom, ready to wash away my feelings and sleep for the rest of the day.

"Leave some hot water for me!" Lily shouted from her room, just as I shut the door.

I laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling in my room, legs crossed at my ankles. The sun set outside, flooding my bedroom with a terracotta glow. The fiery light cast shadows of my window panes on the walls. They moved as time marched on.

Without a warning, the thought of him entered my brain. I screwed my eyes shut and clawed at the the silence around me, hoping to push the memory of the comfort of his arms out of my line of thinking. But it didn't leave. I felt sick with an all-consuming self-pity. I couldn't try to sleep, fearing my thoughts would wander.

Thinking rationally, I was all too tired. It had been so long since I had been held like that. It was no wonder I enjoyed it.

My first, and only boyfriend and I dated in high school. We met our freshman year during a Friday night football game. We dated steadily from the end of ninth grade to the end of summer before college.

His name was Peter. He was not tall, but taller than me. He was kind. Our love was elementary. We were each other's first everything. He remained the first, and only, boy I ever had sex with.

We broke up because of college. He stayed in Massachusetts. Went to Boston College. He was the jealous type, and made it very clear that he did not want me to go to school so far away. When I stood my ground, it was only a matter of time before he tearfully broke up with me on the porch of my childhood home, two weeks before I was set to leave for New Orleans. It hurt, but I reframed it as freedom.

I hadn't felt wanted romantically since then. I had barely been kissed, let alone held tenderly, in my entire time at Tulane. Maybe that was why I couldn't get Kyle out of my head.

Why didn't he wake me up and make me leave? Why didn't he move to his own bed instead of staying with me? What compelled him to even help me in the first place?

None of it made sense to me. All I knew was that I needed sleep. And I wanted so badly to stop the notions about Kyle from swirling through my mind.

Previous Part | Next Part

#evan peters #evan peters fic #ahs #ahs coven #kyle spencer fanfic #kyle spencer

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peachmango-kombucha · 2 years ago

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My First Indie Show :D

Hello everyone!

I went to my first indie show last Sunday (3/19) and had an awesome time. Create-A-Pro held one not too far away from me. I wanted to go for two reasons: 1. I missed the previous one back in February (the one where Caster and MJF were on commentary) and 2. I wanted to go to an indie show for once and support local wrestlers. Plus, the tickets were affordable!

I didn't really know what to expect besides knowing the action would be way closer than I'm used to. I sat in the second to last row just like a shy college student on the first day of class. I didn't want to be too close to the action. As the seats filled up, everyone else stood around us.

But I was close enough to see wrestlers and their family members walk past me. Brian Myers' wife and two daughters walked past me a few times and so did a couple of other wrestlers. I even saw Tommy Dreamer signing autographs and selling merch in a separate room where merch tables were set up.

The bumps sounded brutal and I mean *brutal*. I wasn't the one taking bumps but I could feel the pain from hearing bodies hit the mat multiple times.

The crowd was super hot for all of the matches on the card. A couple of fans yelled at the wrestlers and the wrestlers responded back with their own insults or responses. During one match, a kid yelled out "no one likes you" to one of the wrestlers. That wrestler turned around and was like "who said that?!" Everyone pointed at the kid who crossed his arms and looked very proud of himself. The wrestler then told the kid, "how about I go over there and eat your family?!" That shit was hilarious.

There was a 15 minute intermission to give fans some time to breathe after going crazy for the first half of the show. This was also a great opportunity to meet and buy merch from wrestlers.

The signing/merch room was packed with people. I squeezed my way through to get to B3cca's table. I really wanted to meet her after seeing clips of her perform at 16 Carat for wXw. I was starstruck and my anxiety kinda got the best of me lol All I could say was "It's so nice to meet you! I saw you in 16 Carat and you were awesome!"

She was super sweet and told me wXw was great to her. I bought a t-shirt, a scrunchie, and a picture from her. And this is when it gets even more embarrassing. She asked who should she make this out to and I said "Chloe". "Chloe" is a new nickname of mine I started using on Discord recently but my stupid ass forgot how to spell that shit. I showed her the name on my Instagram profile and she was able to spell it correctly. I apologized and told her it's a new nickname I've been using recently.

And here is where it gets even worse and served as a reminder for me to bring cash to the next indie event I go to. The room where wrestlers were selling merch had terrible service so I wasn't able to send B3cca the money I owed her through Venmo. I apologized profusely. She sent me an Instagram request to follow me and I accepted her request just so she could DM me a screenshot of her Venmo QR code. I told her I'd step out for a few minutes to send her the money and with a smile she was like "it's okay, I trust you."

Finally, I was able to send her the money I owed her and left her a message saying "for the merch. Thank you!" That shit was nerve-wracking omg. This ordeal prevented me from wanting to get merch from Brian Myers cuz I wasn't trying to embarrass myself again.

The rest of the show was even more electric leading up to the main event. And seeing the wrestlers who performed in the previous matches stand along the wall and watch along with us was cool to see.

After the show ended, I went back to B3cca to buy a sticker from her. Thankfully, I had a $5 bill I found in my pocket during the show to give to her. I thanked her again for all the merch.

By the end of this show I told myself that I needed to seek out more indie shows in my area. I may not be able to see AEW or WWE whenever they come around because of ticket prices but I damn sure would be able to afford going to an indie show. And I'll get to discover up and coming wrestlers, too.

100/10, would highly recommend.

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word-wytch · 1 year ago

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*Stalky fanperson word vomit incoming - you have been warned*

Firstly, I wanna say that I never, ever want to have to wait that long for an update every again. However, I also wanna say that this chapter was so freaking perfect that I’m really glad we had to! 😄 (I actually even managed to make it worse for myself by holding off reading it until I was certain I could give every one of the 18k words the time and attention it deserved, and I’m really glad I did - it’s utterly glorious!! 🥹) Congratulations on your summer-long work coming to an outstanding conclusion 👏👏👏

I wanted to do that thing that people do where they share their favourite sections, but I’m not even kidding when I say that if I did that I’d literally be copy and pasting the entire thing. Every. single. paragraph is literal poetry, art and/or a story in and of itself. You are a linguistic maestro, and I now have a new life goal of producing even just one line that comes even close to painting a picture like yours do (that’s the stalkery bit - I’m aware that this probably sounds a bit creepy 😬😬😆)

Also: me, before reading: OMGthey’regoingtokissOMGthey’regoingtokissOMGthey’regoingtokiss 🥹😃🥹😃🥹😃

Me, after reading: Ican’tbelievetheykissedIcan’tbelievetheykissedIcan’tbelievetheykissed 😱😱😱🤯🤯🤯

I still can’t quite believe they actually kissed, even though we all knew it was gonna happen. I thought maybe at some point one of them (r, most likely) would pull back and it would end as a heavy, emotionally loaded cuddle, or some touching, but damn, they actually crossed that line!!! I can’t wait to see how this affects things in the outside world from now on.

And the longing... The yearning... Ugh, it’s all so perfect! I don’t usually warm to these parts of a story, and even though they’re often necessary and essential I just want it to be over, but with these two? I’m a total convert.

I’m also seriously wondering how many other people have noticed or suspected what’s going on. We haven’t seen them from anyone else’s perspective yet, and by the reaction of the band, and those bits with Bill, I’m now concerned that they haven’t actually been as subtle as they/we think they have been, and it’s all gonna hit the fan realllllll sooooon…

(Plus, is Bill gonna be a problem? I said: is Bill gonna be a problem ? *raises one eyebrow and drops a closed fist into an open palm*)

I LOVE the being good/bad for each other internal battles that they’ve both got going on, it’s exquisite and so beautifully balanced, and adds a really special layer to both characters as well as the overall story.

Oh, and the song choices?!?! Puh-leeeeeze, SO PERFECT!!! 🥹🥹🥹🤩🤩🤩🥵🥵🥵 And Eddie on stage, singing, without his guitar?? I’ve never seen that done before, and it was exquisite!! 🙏🔥🙏🔥🙏🔥

IDK if you do a tag list, but if you do I’d love to be on it (and for anything else Eddie you write 😄). My brain is vibrating with both anticipation for the next part, and anxiety at the even slight suggestion that I might miss something 😵‍💫

Finally, I VISCERALLY AND BODILY **NEED** EDDIE’S TEETH ON MY NECK RIGHT TF NOW, so thank you for that… 🫠🫠🫠

‘K I think I’m done, thanks, bye 😆

Holy shit thank you SO much 🥹🥹🥹

It’s heartwarming to see my hard work so appreciated. I feel like “linguistic maestro” might be one of the highest compliments I’ve received so far. I’m incredibly flattered.

Our forbidden lovebirds have a lot of internal and external conflict weighing against them, and I am excited to explore this new phase of their relationship next chapter. As you can sense from the very last scene, they are on different pages when it comes to their attitudes about it. One has a whole lot more to lose than the other, and a whole lot more baggage when it comes to trust and relationships.

Part of what makes this so thrilling imo IS how dangerous it is. You bring up a good point with his friends and outside witnesses like Bill. You’ll certainly be getting hints of how they interpreted that night and what they think about the two of them in general as the story progresses.

I admittedly need to spend some time sitting down with my outline, as I am discovering that I might want to spend just a liiiitle more time (like one more chapter) exploring this limbo phase than originally planned. It’s so juicy being here, finally. The next phase will be even juicier ;)

I had closed my taglist for some time but I recently decided to open it back up and will add you. Thank you, again, so very much. 💕

#dssctm asks #asks #mrsjellymunson

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moonbeam-dreamer · 2 years ago

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The Storm (Continued from part 1. Ending)

I made sure to keep it at the speed limit and safe for the animals, while tending what I could to my wounds. Blood streaked down my head and into my shirt, thankfully of black material. My hand dripped and soaked into the fabric of my jeans. Moose, the poor sweet lab/German shepherd mix, was beside himself with anxiety, panting whining, and trying to muzzle me to claim my attention. He’d always come to me when shit hit the fan and this was worse than anything he’d been through. The cats were crying, which aggravated the pain, but I couldn’t bring myself to yell at them. It wasn’t their fault they were afraid and put in this situation by a psycho. Besides, I was scared too, and it made my already high blood pressure soar. There was nausea, dizziness, and I couldn’t get myself to stop shaking from the tension in my nerves. The highway out of town was a straight path, and it made concentration an effort. I turned on the radio to metal to keep me awake and somehow made it to town without further incident.

Inside the city, however, I sent a prayer to the Goddess Brigid, asking her to keep the eyes of the townsfolk away from my vicinity. I didn’t need anyone playing hero and involving themselves, least of all the nosey biddies at the salon. They had a way of spreading gossip that would put the women on ‘The View’ to shame. It wouldn’t matter once I got home and secured the animals. I could bandage myself up and hide until the wounds healed. Li told me to call if I had issues or needed help, but he was better off keeping to his own affairs. I’d have to message my father about this and I was already dreading his reaction. Maybe I just Wouldn’t call him, and let the incident pass? It wasn’t like I was going there again. She’d just have to find her own ride to QT for smokes and a way to charge her phone. Her friend and drug dealer could order her an Uber to the laundromat every day for all I cared. The days of being her enabler were at an end.

By some miracle, I pulled into the drive and killed the engine. The rush of quiet sent my nerves into a frenzy. Moose was finally relaxed in the passenger seat and the cats had stopped howling. I was thankful to have made it home, but the eventual call to my father made me anxious. I was going to need a reason for my decision, but I wasn’t going to revisit the events. Better they stay between two than play out for the world to see. It could wait until tomorrow, however. The animals needed to be made comfortable after that hellish journey, then I had to see about myself. I wasn’t looking forward to the cleanup process, specifically running a washcloth over the gashes, then using alcohol to disinfect. There would be pain enough to make the dizziness worsen, and I hadn’t been able to stand up yet.

Before I could take hold of the doorhandle it was ripped away and an imposing figure in black kneeled at my side. The sun on the drive over had been blinding, but the shade from my trees perfectly shielded the rays and after a moment of fuzziness incomprehension, Li’s face appeared before me. Those beautiful pastel silver/blue eyes surveyed the damage, assessing the best way to move forward, while his jaw tightened to keep his anger under a tight lid. If he blew up now it was going to make it worse for both of us. There was much that I wanted to say, explanations, the entire backstory that involved childhood trauma, abuse, drugs, and narcissism, but nothing would come out. It was scary how normal that was becoming. After every fight and argument, I internalized and disassociated. I was a commendable zombie. It seemed that the time I spent out of her grasp hadn’t truly changed anything.

In the end, he was the one to break the silence.

“I’m going to take them inside. Then, you’re going to a hospital”. His tone was gentle, yet firm. From this point on, he was taking over and I had no choice but to follow his lead. My body was past the point of taking my own orders, and it let me know.

The last thing I remember was the world tilting and darkness rushing in. There was a feeling of warmth, safety, then nothing but the blessed silence.

#creative writing #writing #short story #writerscorner #writerslife #writersofinstagram #story time #survival #drama tw #writerscommunity #slow burn #slow but steady #narcissistic people #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic mother

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jupitermelichios · 1 year ago

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8, 9, and 10 if you want to! :)

8) a character you think did nothing wrong but fandom demonizes?

I know exactly enough about homestuck to know saying vriska here would be a funny joke, but not enough to actually know who she is or what she did or didn't do wrong, lmoa

Memes aside though, Scott McCall is innocent and I am prepared to defend him in court if necessary.

I do get why fandom didn't latch onto him the way they did other teen wolf characters, he's the platonic ideal of a highschool boyfriend and that's not the kind of character that usually appeals to people Doing A Fandom, but people hate him So Much, and I don't get it. He's just a little guy, he's a little birthday boy. Why are you hitting him when it's his birthday?

I especially don't get the 'Scott is a bad friend' take that's so common it has a canon AO3 tag. Him and Stiles have a pretty unhealthy co-dependant friendship, absolutely, but it's very much mutual, and Scott is just as ride or die for Stiles as Stiles is for him. They're just a couple of weird little guys who have had no one else to talk to but one another for years, and have ended up with a freaky psychosexual mess of a friendship, we've all been there.

(also 90% of all female characters from kids cartoons, but that's a wider issue than just fandom taking a dislike to a character. the fact that there are people who think mable pines committed any crime worse than 'having the emotional maturity of a 12 year old while being literally 12 years old' is baffling and terrifying in equal measure)

9) a character that did a lot of things wrong in canon that you think fandom woobifies?

Loki, obviously. I've done my time in the MCU fic trenches, and oh boy some of the Loki takes I've seen...

Stiles Stilinski, the counterpart to the demonisation of Scott. They are basically the exact same level of problematic in a very believable teenage way in canon, but in fanon Scott becomes a monster and Stiles becomes a woobie.

Every single member of the Batfamily, but most of all, Alfred Pennyworth. He's a fun character and an excellent valet, and he loves Bruce and the kids, but my god was he a shit parent. How does anyone look at Bruce Wayne and conclude Alfred was a good parent? It baffles me. 'I raised master bruce'. you ruined a perfectly good orphan is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety.

(There is one exception to this, and that is the Alfred from the Gotham TV show, who has done nothing wrong in his life ever, and does stuff like hug Bruce, and tell him that he loves him, and actually talk to him about his trauma. 100/10, best Alfred, don't @ me)

But the big one, the one that will result in me just blocking people so I don't have to see their takes on my dash, is John Constantine. And this isn't fully fandom's fault, recent DC TV and animated movies absolutely also do this, but the result is just this horrible oroborous of bad takes as TV writers who think they're too smart for comics inform the opinions of fans who don't want to engage with moral ambiguity, and then the writers respond to what those fans enjoy by making him even more toothless, and around and around it goes until you get this character who is utterly unrecognisable as John, and cruicially, feels fictional, which is the absolute worst thing a version of John can be. If the fact that multiple Hellblazer writers have reported meeting him irl doesn't feel at least a little bit plausible, that's not John.

(and if this is your first time hearing about that, yes multiple otherwise apparently sane writers of a vertigo comic book have claimed to have met the character they created in real life, and the fandom just accepts that as a canon part of his mythos. comics are wild.)

10) what is your favorite “problematic” fandom?

I guess it depends how you define problematic.

I made the decision not to engage with it anymore when jkr lost her mind, and also because I just lost interest and moved on to other fandoms as I got older, but I'm not going to pretend I didn't have a lot of fun in the harry potter fandom when I was a teenager. It was my first real fandom, and I'll always have some nostalgia for it for being my gateway drug into this community, despite everything.

The Fannibals are some of the most talented and creative people in fandom, the art and fic for Hannibal is absolutely incredible, definitely the highest average standard of fic I've encountered in a fandom. Plus it's nice to have a fandom where you know people are capable of engaging critically with dark content. I won't say there are no antis in the fandom, they seem to turn up everywhere these days, but they're easily drowned out by the people who actually remember stuff like SLS and YKINMKATO

I have a weird soft spot for Twilight, something about it just hits the so bad it's good groove in my brain just right, and the recent twilight renaisance has been very fun to watch, but I haven't really engaged with the fandom all that much beyond reblogging some memes (and writing an 8,000 word not!fic about how much better twilight would be if bella swan was polyamorous that one time)

And despite the whole ackles tapes conspiracy theory, and the prevelance of tinhatting, and the dumb shipwars, I'll always have a special place in my heart for the supernatural fandom. it's a fucked up place to live, but I had a lot of fun there, and i still visit on occaision.

#ask meme

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bloodycherry22 · 2 years ago

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I’m here | Rick Grimes

Genre: fluff.

Summary: Ricks on some kind of patrol run, your stuck in your thoughts and end up in tears, in need of comfort, luckily Rick arrives home just in time. (Set kind of in Alexandria, but you can imagine it wherever tf you want.)

Warnings: cussing, negative thoughts? Reader just wanting the world to go back to normal, crying, not much tbh. Angst.

I honestly apologise if there’s spelling mistakes, I wrote this while building a Lego set. This is also really small, soz. Drabble

Your knuckles were white, the grip on the kitchen counter tight enough it felt as if it may snap right off into your hands. Heart beating out of your chest as tears brimmed in your eyes. Trying to calm your breathing was something that suddenly seemed impossible, a few hours back you were as close as could be to being killed by a Walker and for some reason it had really shook you, especially since no one was there to cover you, having no time to react to the event.

By the time you got home you were exhausted, just wanting to relax but the noises were so loud, walkers could be heard everywhere, it was all just so much. Being alone with your thoughts made it all that much worse, mind fuelling your anxiety, pictures of the world before shit hit the fan overwhelming your senses and here you were. Hands shaking drastically as you attempted to compose yourself, an unknown force making you hold back your tears.

With a choked breath, you fell apart, letting go of the counter as a sob slipped past your lips, giving up on composure, fuck composure. You needed someone, needed the comfort, needed love and affection, fuck that, you needed Rick.

Falling to the floor and running your hands through your hair, tears slipped down your cheeks, air tight as a few broken sobs escaped from you. “Fuck” you mumbled “fucking..fuck” you shook your head, bringing a hand to wipe your eyes. As if one queue, the sound of the front door opening and closing was heard, panic growing as you quickly stood up, shakily wiping your tears as fast as possible, seeing Ricks figure.

He groaned slightly out of tiredness, placing his shotgun down at the door and rolling his neck “fuckin, long day…y/n?” He looked around, and you took a breath, fanning your face for a moment before stepping out, looking at him with the best smile you could bring to your face.

“Hey sweetheart” he smiled, opening his arms, without a doubt you fell into his arms. “How was your day?” He asked, his arms falling around your body, just brushing over your skin as he pressed s kiss to your head. A sigh of relief slipped out of you, hands wrapping around his back. “It was..okay” you nodded, face pressed against his chest, hoping he wouldn’t notice the shakiness to your voice.

“Okay? Somethin’ happen?” He questioned, attempting to pull back, hoping to get a look at you but your arms tightened around him, not ready to free yourself of his warmth, simply shaking your head in response.

“Baby?..” he let out a small chuckle, hand flattening against the small of your back as he stepped back, your arms finally letting him. “Someone’s needy” he joked, eyes finally landing on yours, his smile faltering, noticing the redness to your eyes. “Hey..sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked but you just pursed your lips, pressing your face into his chest once again, hugging his body as tight as possible.

“Hey, talk to me, what’s up?” His voice concerned and gentle, hand stroking up and down over your back, a small sob left your mouth, biting down on your lip as hard as possible to stay quiet as you held back your tears, again. He seemed shocked by your sudden affection and silence, the light sniffs coming from you saddened him in a way he never knew could. He hasn’t cared about someone as much as he had for you since Carl or Judith, he sighed, leaning his head on top of yours and reaching his other hand to caress your hair gently, twirling his fingers around some of the locks occasionally.

“You just gonna stay quiet or are ya gonna talk to me” he spoke, his voice having a light joking sense to it but mainly sounding concerned. With a huff you looked up at him and he frowned, the sight of you so upset was almost enough to make him cry. Removing his hand from your hair to wipe your tear “sweetheart..” he cooed.

“I just..I’m scared Rick, I want to go back to normal, I don’t want to hear this groans all day long, I want to be safe” you rambled, hands moving frantically and he listened, taking your hands in his, lifting them to press kisses against your palm and knuckles. “Hey..your safe, okay? I know, I know, it’s so shit, living in a world like this but there’s nothing we can do” he explained “we’re safe here, I’m gonna protect you, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, I promise” his voice serious, looking into your eyes, you hadn’t even noticed but he had leaned down slightly, to be at eye level with you, the action filling your heart with warmth.

“Promise?” You asked, sniffing.

“Course I promise, come on, go up to bed and I’ll bring you a nice hot cup of tea” he scoffed, chuckling.

#rick grimes fanfiction #rick grimes twd #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes #rick twd #twd rick #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead

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vroomvroommbtch · 2 years ago

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State of grace - DR x fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: After years of having almost everything planned and scheduled, something most certainly unplanned happens and changes everything in their lives forever.

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x fem!OC

Warnings: Fluff fluff, some happy tears, swearing, pregnancy, some mentions of smut and more fluff.

Word count: 4.9k

A/N: This thing wasn’t in the plans but I started and I couldn’t stop writing and here we are. Besides I love Jas and Dan so bare with me. In case you haven’t read the previous oneshot, you don’t really have to but know that its connected for obvious reasons. In case you wanna read the previous one, you’ve the masterlist linked up. Damn I’m terrible explaining shit. If you have any doubts or questions thanks to my inability to explain shit just let me know😅 Also should I make a taglist on this thing too? OKAY let me know what u think? And thanks for all the likes in the previous one, it means a lot. See u soon! 🫶🏻

State of grace.

June 2021.

Time seemed like it stopped right there in the bathroom. Maybe it was her heart that stopped and would have been kind of logical if it did as she stood there, looking at herself in the mirror not knowing what to do. Jas wasn’t a fan of looking at her paralyzed and terrified reflection but it was way better than looking at the pregnancy test resting there on the white surface that she was also used to support herself. Suddenly those two minutes were the longest two minutes of her life and what made it worse was that Daniel wasn’t there.

The realization hit her when she woke up as Daniel left to go to the gym with Michael. It was their little routine; Daniel always kissed her on the forehead to let her know he was leaving and that morning wasn’t an exception. He left early to go back with her because those stolen days in Paris were part of her birthday present and he didn’t want to waste a second, especially considering he was going to be busy big part of her birthday with his obligations with press day in Paul Ricard.

Jas didn’t even realize she was feeling weird when Daniel kissed her forehead and then her lips. She didn’t realize it until she decided to get up from bed, but then she thought it might be the jet lag. It was always jet lag. Even after almost four years of going from one place to another, she was still dealing with that kind of issue, but she knew how to handle it already, at least better than at the beginning. It was weird because they didn’t have a long flight considering they were from Baku to Paris, but Jas thought it would go away as soon as she took a shower and some coffee. She was completely determined to get rid of it simply because there was no way jet lag would ruin the beauty of having Daniel for two days in one of her favorite cities in the world. Jas was convinced it was nothing, but then to realize the tiredness wasn’t from flying from one country to another or because of something she ate in Baku. She realized the issue was more a permanent thing than just a little sickness.

Suddenly it hit her like a train.

She should have waited for Daniel to come back to do it. She should have waited for him to be there by her side, but the intrigue and anxiety were too much to wait. She needed to know. She needed to know if she was pregnant or if it was all product of the nerves and the complicated couple of months they have been dealing with. She needed to know, but she was terrified to know.

Jas knew Daniel loved her. She knew how much Daniel loved her and there was no single doubt about that in her mind or her heart. They loved each other, they’ve been by each other’s side through thick and thin since day one and they weren’t planning to walk away from what they had. They loved each other and were planning on getting married and having kids and growing old together, but they never said when. The marriage proposal was on hold until they could celebrate with both their families and that wasn’t going to happen until they could come and go to Australia. It was their little deal to wait until they could do it, but the whole pregnancy thing hasn't been really discussed.

Kids were in their long-term plans. Kids were something both of them wanted. It was something they joked and talked about hundreds of times in the three and half years they had been together. Sometimes it was like a subtle comment or a joke, sometimes it was in serious conversations while lying in bed while listening to some music in a dark hotel room. She had spent afternoons after afternoons watching Daniel playing with his nephew or holding his niece in their living room or running outside the farm and she knew with every single part of her heart, mind, and soul that no one except him was going to be the father of her kids. It only took a glare, a smile and a wink from her boyfriend across the room to know they were both on the same page. The only thing worrying her was the timing. The change of team and the rough start of the season were taking a toll on Daniel, so Jas had no idea if it was something he wanted at that moment.

They always knew there was a risk of happening. They knew the chance was small but was there. Even with Jas being on the pill, there was a chance of it happening every single time Daniel came inside her. From the night they were just too lazy to go for a condom and especially from the night when Jas begged Daniel to not pull off and just cum inside her, they knew it could happen. It was a risk she was willing to take because she wanted a family with him, but God, what a complicated time. Between not being able to see Daniel’s family, the terrible start of the season and all the shit people have been saying, it was probably the worst moment, that’s why she was so scared that Daniel might not want it.

As she tried to convince herself that Daniel would be happy, the alarm on her phone finally warned her about those two long minutes being finally over. It was over and the answer to every single one of her doubts was right there in front of her.

“A deep breath and just look at it” she whispered to the reflection in the mirror, who looked as scared outside as she was inside. “Danny won’t go anywhere. He would never do that. He loves you too much to even think about it. You’re being ridiculous to even think about it. You’re a thirty-two years old woman, stop being a chicken and just look at it”

She should have waited for Daniel. She should have waited for him to do it holding his hand. She should have waited until he was back so she could ask him to say everything was going to be fine. Jas should have waited for Daniel for a hundred million reasons, but the most important one was right there in front of her. Laying in the white marble sink was the pregnancy test which was a very clear positive, but suddenly it all got blurred as the tears took over.

Jas should have waited for Daniel because she needed him.

She couldn’t remember a time when she needed him as much as then. There was not a second in the past three years and a half when she needed him at that moment. But since Daniel wasn’t around, Jas placed her hands around her own body, hugging herself as she repeated inside her mind that everything was going to be fine. But then automatically her hands went to her still flat stomach and the realization that she was going to be a mom just hit her. Not only she was going to be a mom but she was going to have a baby with the man she loved more than anyone in the whole world.

They were going to be a family. Even if they already have a wonderful, big, crazy family, now they were going to have their own one. Their own little family of three.

That’s when the tears started to stream down her face because she was terrified, but she couldn’t be happier. She wanted that. Bad timing and all, she wanted that. She wanted that baby and to finally start their family and the rest could be fixed. The rest was just a matter of organization and patience, but Jas knew they could do it. If someone could find a way and do it that was them. They have been making their relationship work through every single up and down no matter how bad things could be. They were always by each other’s side and things weren’t going to change. Things weren’t going to change, at least not for bad.

That’s how she walked straight to the kitchen in the Airbnb they were staying, repeating to herself again and again that things were going to be okay, all while she felt the pregnancy test in one of the pockets of her shorts. Things were going to be okay as soon as she told Daniel about it.

But then the realization hit her and she had no idea how she was going to do it. She needed to keep her shit together, take a deep breath and make the tears stop as soon as possible. Jas knew if Daniel walked into the apartment and saw her eyes red and shining with tears he was going to freak out, so she decided to do one thing at a time. First Jas washed her face not once but twice, then she went back to the kitchen because she needed a cup of tea, and then she sat down on one of the stools in front of the kitchen’s island.

Jas had no idea how much time passed since she sat there. All she knew was that her tea was long gone when she heard the entrance door opening and closing and then Daniel calling her name. The problem was she still had no idea how she was going to tell him. She spent all that time just imagining how their life was going to be, making a mental list of all the things she couldn’t drink or eat anymore and thinking how their family and friends were going to react. She couldn’t stop thinking about her Esmè and Andrè becoming great-grandparents, David and Aoife becoming grandparents, Joe and Grace having another grandkid, but especially about Maggie being an aunt. She knew Maggie was going to be over the moon to finally be an aunt, just like she could imagine Blake and Michael freaking out and making jokes about it.

But then she thought about Daniel she couldn’t help but smile thinking about her Daniel carrying their baby. She couldn’t help but imagine the anxiety that he was going to have to be able to teach things to their kid. From riding a bike to driving a toy car, she knew Daniel was going to count the days to be able to do all he dreamed about. She couldn’t help but imagine Daniel taking their baby to the paddock and the garage, them running around the farm and making messes in the apartment and the hotel rooms, and God, how she couldn’t wait to see all that. She couldn’t wait to see them together. She couldn’t wait for the late nights and early morning, and the lack of sleep and learning on the way, and the most normal routinary things.

Jas just couldn’t help to smile thinking about Daniel being a dad.

But as she was in her own little bubble, Jas felt Daniel’s arms snaking around her middle and resting her hands on her stomach. It wasn’t new. It was nothing new because it was the most normal thing for Daniel to rest his hands there when he hugged her back, but this time it felt different. This time it felt new because it was new. This time it wasn’t just her stomach but the exact place where their baby was growing and she needed to tell him. Jas needed Daniel to know.

“Earth calling Jas?” Daniel called her, and she had no idea how many times he did it, but as soon as she realized what was happening, she just melted around his arms. She leaned back just enough, letting her back rest against his chest, her head against his shoulder and her hands over his and it felt like home. It was home. “You alright, princess?”

“Yeah, I’m fine” Jas whispered, closing her eyes for a second to enjoy that little, silent moment in the kitchen. She had no idea how things were going to be in a moment, so she wanted to enjoy and keep that memory inside her mind forever. “Do you know how much I love you?”

But Daniel knew her. After three years and a half together, Daniel knew her by heart from inside and outside. He knew her like the back of his hands. He knew every inch of her body better than she did, but especially, he knew her soul, heart, and mind. With just one look Daniel knew when something was wrong or when she was extremely happy, so that’s exactly what he did. He let her go for a second, turned the stool around, and stood between her legs to be able to look at her.

And Jas knew Daniel just as much as he knew her, so she saw the panic and the fear appearing in his brown eyes. She saw how the worry started to take over all thanks to not knowing what was happening with the woman he loved. But even with that, she put an oh-so-small smile on her face, trying to reassure him that everything was okay. And everything was alright except for the fact that she was terrified.

“I know you love me and you know I love you too, but what’s going on, babe?” Daniel asked, cupping her cheeks between his hands as carefully as possible.

It took Daniel no time to grab her between his arms and held her against his body as tightly as possible. The warmth of his body was the only thing keeping her together at that point. He was the only thing keeping her grounded and from falling into pieces. He was the only one capable of keeping her whole.

That was one of those little moments when she had no idea how she was so lucky to be with him. He looked like a perfect Greek God with his messy wet curls and perfect brown eyes hugging her with so much delicacy that it felt like Daniel was scared to break her at any second.

That was one of the moments when she remembered why she decided to leave everything and go with him because a long-distance relationship wasn’t enough. Back then it looked insane and more than once she heard comments about how crazy she was for going behind a man not knowing for how long things were going to work, but she did it. Even her family and friends thought she was a little insane for dropping everything and going with him. Looking back, she just knew in her heart that following Daniel was the craziest but the best decision of her life.

“Please don’t be mad” she begged, holding him even tighter as she took a deep breath to finally say the news. “Please baby, don’t get mad”

“Hey, look at me, J. Look at me, for a second,” he asked, moving his hands from her back to her cheeks again, moving away enough to look at her eyes. “I’m not gonna get mad, but tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring the shit out of me, princess”

And there was again, her favorite pair of warm, brown eyes, looking at her with nothing but love and adoration, trying to convince her in any way that things were going to be fine. That’s what she said to herself and what she has been repeating inside her mind once again, simply because she had to believe it. She needed to believe it.

“I’m pregnant”

It was a whisper. It was a murmur thanks to her closed throat. It was the example of fear in someone’s voice. She could feel her heart beating in her ears, and she could swear it was gonna jump out of her chest as she felt it racing. She could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks and how the air in the apartment and the whole city wasn’t enough to reach her lungs. She felt like it was centuries since she said those words and she felt like it took Daniel another couple of centuries to answer. But in fact, Daniel didn’t respond automatically, at least not with words.

Just when Jas was about to beg him to say something, anything, even if just a word, she could see his eyes getting teary. She saw how the panic in his face disappeared, and instead, he lighted up. But what made the biggest weight disappear from her body was the tiny little grin on his face as the first tear hit his cheek.

“I’m gonna be a dad?” Daniel asked totally out of breath, his voice cracking in the middle of the question. Jas just couldn’t answer. She couldn’t form a word, let alone a sentence. All she could do was nod, trying to make Daniel understand it was true. He was gonna be a dad and they were gonna have a baby. “Oh my God, J”

Before Jas could react, Daniel's arms were around her body again. One of his hands went to her waist, the other to her hair, and this time she could feel how he was holding her tightly but carefully. But the thing was this time it wasn’t because he was scared to break her, this time it was clearly about not wanting to push or squeeze her body, probably too scared to do something wrong and hurt Jas or their baby.

What Jas also felt was a sob coming from Daniel. She could feel him sobbing in her arm, probably still trying to understand those two words that changed their lives forever. Jas couldn’t blame him considering she was even still trying to understand it. It felt surreal. It left like a dream to think that inside her there was a life growing. Inside her, there was a baby that was half her and half Daniel.

“I know it's not the best timing but-“ Jas started to explain, but before she could finish what she was saying, Daniel’s lips were over hers. They were a mess full of tears but they shared a long, loving kiss, full of words they couldn’t say because they were speechless.

Once they were over -at least for the moment- Daniel looked at her holding her face in his hands once again. “No, don’t say that. I don’t give a damn about timing, babe” he affirmed, and then again, Jas felt another terrible weight leaving her shoulder. “You really thought I was gonna be mad at you for this?”

“We didn’t plan it and this year isn’t going as we expect and I just don’t know. I was so scared when I found out you weren’t here. I’m still so fucking scared” she confessed, tears still streaming down her face as grabbed handfuls of his shirt, not really caring if it was sweaty. Damn, they have done way worse than just hugging while Daniel was sweaty after going for a run or a workout, or even a race, so Jas didn’t mind.

“We always make it work so we’ll make this work too” Daniel insisted, and Jas knew it was a promise. It was a promise and Daniel never broke his promises, especially not the ones he made to her.

From the UK to Monaco to days in France with Renault back to the UK with McLaren and to all over three continents and some time in their home towns squeezed in the middle of the craziness, they somehow made it work. They made it work in a way in such a splendid way sometimes it was hard to believe, even for her, so that’s why Jas knew this time wasn’t going to be different.

“We’ll make it work” she repeated, sealing the promise with another kiss. But this time she felt Daniel smiling against her lips and she couldn’t help but smile too. She couldn’t help but feel the happiness taking over, leaving the worry and the sadness behind. “You’re gonna be a dad, babe. We’re having a baby”

“Fuck, I can’t believe it! When did you find out? How many weeks are you?” he asked, and Jas couldn’t be happier to see that big smile on his face, all while Daniel cleaned her tears with the fingers of his right hand. But her heart melted as his left hand finally touched her stomach. Somehow, to feel Daniel’s hand right there made it all real. It also made her place her left hand right over his, holding each other right over the place their baby was growing.

“I found out half an hour ago. My phone made me remember I didn’t have my period and it just clicked. I had a test in my suitcase for that time Cam thought she was pregnant and I took it. And it said 3+ weeks” she explained, doing exactly as Daniel did and cleaning the tears from his face.

And right there she could see Daniel’s brain working and doing its math. She could see how he was trying to think what the hell they were doing and where they were a month ago. But then it also hit him. She could see his eyebrows raising, and his mouth opening and then turning into a perfect O as he figured it out. “That was- We made out baby in Monaco?”

“Monaco’s our thing, right?” she giggled, stealing one little kiss from his lips. “It sounds like fucking destiny”

After doing some not very specific math, Jas was almost sure the week she got pregnant and was almost sure it had been there in Monaco. Looking back, she could almost put her finger on the day she got pregnant. After an insanely long and bad race weekend, a terrible P12, Lando overlapping him, a McLaren car on the podium that wasn’t his, and not being able to skip talking with the press even if he didn’t want to, Daniel wanted to forget about it. He wanted to leave that weekend in the past and like always, the best and his favorite way to forget about it was Jas.

After they went home that night, he spent half an hour between her legs. He spent that whole half an hour toying her, edging her, making her beg and moan his name again and again like a prayer. Jas knew perfectly fine Daniel wanted to make the world around them disappear and if his way of doing it was using her then she was more than happy to comply and help.

She could see the determination and focus on his face as he was buried between her legs. He was acting like a man starving while biting every possible inch of her legs and holding her hard enough to leave bruises, but never enough to hurt her. He stayed there until she was breathless, panting, tears almost falling from her eyes, and her inner thighs red after being bitten and scratched for his scruffy cheeks. But even after all that, Jas knew Daniel wasn’t done. Damn, she didn’t want him to be done.

When she got what she wanted and one of the most magnificent orgasms hit her, that was when he was all over her again. Daniel took his good time kissing and touching every single part of her body as he moved all the way up. He spent minute after minute worshiping her, just as if he wanted to memorize every inch of her, even if he already knew her body like the back of his hand. He peppered kisses on her chest and neck as his hands cupped her breast, thumbs rubbing her nipples in the way he knew would send shivers down her whole body.

Her legs were still shaking and hurting in the most beautiful way, and she was coming down from the most incredible high when Daniel started to fuck her restlessly. She knew perfectly fine the love they have for each other; she knew that every day she looked at Daniel like he just would have hung the moon and the stars in the sky just for her; she knew there was nothing in the world she wasn’t ready to do if he asked her, but the tenderness and the romanticism weren’t in their room that night.

It was a primal instinct moving them; it was all teeth and tongues. It was all legs and arms wrapped around each other’s bodies because none of them were going risking to see each other disappear in the air. It was hands grabbing into whatever they could reach, no matter if it was his curls, her hair, the sheets, or the pillows. Every time she kissed whatever part of his body she could reach, every time she would open her legs a bit more so he could get impossibly deeper inside her, it was her silent way to tell him that she loved him, no podium or winning necessary.

She had no idea if he had to be shirtless or change in front of anyone that week, but she really hoped he didn’t because the scratch marks and half-moons her nails left all over his back and shoulders weren’t going to disappear for a couple of days and she was absolutely proud of it. She couldn’t control the way she was grabbing into his back and ass, but she wasn’t planning on letting him go an inch away from her.

Every time she took him inside her one preoccupation disappeared around them. Every stupid comment, every bad qualification, every bad race, every single problem in their life was long gone. Inside their room, there were no cameras, no lights, no reporters no people giving opinions and that’s exactly what Daniel needed.

If there wasn’t enough torture when he spent a good amount of time edging her while eating her out, Daniel kept doing it, but on both of them. Every time he felt her walls clenching around him or every time he was close, he would slow down, pull out of her and go back to their old pace. First, he did it until she was begging for him to get back inside her, the second time until she was a desperate mess of moans that sounded similar to his name, and the third one was until she wasn’t even able to say one logical word. Just when she threatened him with not letting him touch her for a week was when he finally went back inside her.

He fucked her until all she could see was white until her legs finally gave up and all he could also say was a beautiful noise that sounded like her name as his face was hidden in the crock of her neck. Once they were both done and out of breath, she was practically convinced that Daniel fell asleep over her and she couldn’t care less about him crushing her or the mess in the sheets as she was dripping. She was happy to be out of breath thanks to her beautiful boyfriend resting over her, but suddenly he looked at her like she was the one hanging the moon and the stars for him and whispered a tired “You’re the best thing in this universe, baby”. That was everything. That was all. In moments like those, she knew nothing in the world was better than what they had there.

Looking back to that night, a month later Jas knew that having a baby with him was proof of that. It was proof that together they could do magic.

“You and me, princess, that was destiny” he affirmed, kissing her once more. But this time it wasn’t like their previous kiss. This time they took all the time in the world, holding each other as close as possible because nothing really mattered more than the two of them together in the middle of the kitchen. Nothing matter more than the three of them. “I love you so much, Jas. You’ve no idea” he whispered against her lips as he stroked her still unnoticeable bump.

“I love you more, baby daddy” Jas answered back, kissing him once more, stroking his jaw and cheek.

But before Jas could say something else, Daniel was taking her from her seat, making her stand with her feet on the floor. And right there in the middle of the kitchen, Daniel took her shirt off as carefully as possible. Once it was off her body, he kneeled in front of her, face inches away from her stomach, and hands resting on her waist. But just as Jas thought Daniel had stopped crying, there were the tears again, but not even that took away the smile on his face.

“I love you so damn much, baby” Daniel whispered to her stomach, resting his forehead against it as Jas stroked his head and ran her fingers over his curls. “I really can’t wait to meet you. I really can’t wait for you to be here with your mama and me. Just some months and we’ll have all the fun in the world” Daniel promised, placing one soft, careful kiss over her skin. And all that was enough to make Jas cry again.

Just some months.

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lostdreamr-blog1 · 2 years ago

Text

Running Never Helped Anyone

Requested: Thank you Anon for this request! Hope this is what you were looking for and more!!

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Female!reader

Warnings: mentions of depression, mild swearing, some fluffy fluff

Word Count: 1.8k

Dean and Sam were out on a hunt a few states over while I was supposed to cover an easy one near the bunker. Dean wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of me hunting solo, but he agreed that it shouldn’t take more than a day and that I should have no problems. His exact words were, “Call if you need anything but you can do this in your sleep.” Which is the complete opposite of what happened. One nomad vampire turned out to be a whole nest and shit hit the fan quickly. I managed to get out with a decent sized cut on my side that needed stitches and a few bruises.

Which is why I was currently sitting on the bathroom floor bawling my eyes out as I pushed the needle in and out of my skin. I don’t know if was the pain that was escalating my emotions, but I could feel myself start to go down that dark hole I worked so damn hard to get out of not that long ago. My thoughts seemed like they were surrounding me, shouting all my insecurities at the top of their lungs making me feel worse and worse as the minutes went by. I knew better than to simply shut down and let the negativity consume me, but this was an uphill battle that I didn’t see me winning. The hunt was simple, or supposed to be, but turned into chaos. If I would’ve stayed, I probably would’ve been killed which tells me I made the right decision.

But I had to abandon the hunt which is something I knew was going to piss Dean off.

I stopped what I was doing and dissected that last thought. If I knew I made the right call, why is it that I care so much about Dean’s view towards it? Hunting with them for the past few years brought me a sense of safety and kept the dark, intrusive thoughts away. I felt like I was free of the anxiety and depression that consumed me for far too long, until now. I wasn’t blind to my own feelings about Dean. That green eyed hunter had a special place in my heart even though I knew I held no space in his. But what alarmed me was the fact I was willing to put myself in danger just to please him and get a “job well done”. I was throwing myself back into the worst part of my brain because I was worried about disappointing him. But telling him that would set him off. To sit there and try to explain why I was feeling the way I am would complicate things further than any of us need.

Because of that, I knew it was time to leave. Scrambling to cover my mostly finished stitches, I ran to my room and started throwing what I could into bags. Hunters always packed light, but holy shit I have accumulated so much over these years. I didn’t give myself time to think about what to take or leave as I knew the boys would be on their way back at some point tonight. Getting up the courage to leave and take on the world by myself was something that would dissolve the second Dean walked into this bunker. After quickly writing a note that I was fine and it was my time to move on, I nearly collapsed into my truck and drove off with zero destinations in mind. The only thing I prayed for was that the brothers would let me go with no questions asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 years later...

I was on a salt and burn case down in Texas when a gruff voice made me jump. “So, you are alive.”

I knew who it belonged to before I even turned around. Sure enough, I was met with a cold stare of the older Winchester. “Hey Dean.”

As he was looking me over to see that I was in fact alive and in one piece, I took a lingering glance at him. His hair seemed a bit longer and had more stubble on his face than usual. But overall, he looked the exact same. “Care to explain why the hell you disappeared off of a sudden?”

We weren’t exactly in the best place for a conversation like this, with people being able to freely hear what we were saying. I don’t think saying the word “vampire” in a serious tone would go over well. He seemed to catch onto my thought and pointed behind him. The impala was parked on the curb, and I quickly realized I had nowhere to run to if things got bad.

“Get in the car, Y/N.” his voice gave me zero room to argue, and I found myself walking to the car that I never thought I would see again.

The first few minutes of our drive were filled with tension. I could see the white knuckled grip on his steering wheel and practically felt the anger rolling off him. My best option was to stay quiet until he started the conversation. “What did I do?”

My head snapped towards him at that question. “What do you mean?” Of all the things to ask, that wasn’t what I expected.

“I keep going over it in my head. We left to go on a hunt. You had a small hunt of your own. And then you were gone. Those years before you seemed happy and then suddenly you change your damn number. It took a while to find you, but when we did, I realized you were trying to stay hidden. And the only conclusion I can come up with is that I did something.” While he wasn’t entirely wrong with assumption, he had no control over my thoughts.

I let out a long sigh and prepared myself for a conversation I planned over and over since the day I left. I wasn’t sure if it was the anxiety that drove me to try and perfect what I was going to say, but I knew I couldn’t explain things without it. “I need you to listen to everything without interrupting. That is the only way I’m going to get through this.”

A small nod of his head prompted me to keep going. Before I met you, I struggled with depression pretty bad. A good day for me was getting out of bed and eating something small, but those days were very few. I don’t think I can really explain why I was depressed, just that my brain decides it wants to hate everything about me and around me. By some miracle I found the will power to go on a hunt and ran into the two of you. I don’t think you realized it, but you saved me from myself by offering for me to tag along. After some time, I became the better version of myself and hadn’t had a dark thought in a while until that night I left.”

I paused as he pulled the car over on the side of the road and gave him a questioning look. “I have a feeling I’m not going to like what I hear and don’t want to damage baby.” A valid thought on his part.

“The hunt wasn’t simple like we thought, and it turned into a whole nest of vampires. I had to get out of there and couldn’t complete it like we originally thought. That night I kept beating myself up about it and I knew you would’ve been so disappointed in me. I could feel myself spiraling and came to conclusion that I needed to get out while I was still myself. But I knew if I tried to leave with you there, I wouldn’t be able to. With all the stress hunting puts on you two, you didn’t need the added stress of me and my pretty fucked up mind. So, I left.” Silence was what answered me, and I knew he was trying to process it all. This whole time he had only known one side of me and that was the stable and happy part. The monster that can make an appearance at any time had managed to stay hidden when I was with them.

“You could’ve told me. I would’ve been there for you.”

I looked out the front window and shook my head. “To talk to someone about what’s going on in my head isn’t an easy thing to do. To feel that vulnerable and admit that something isn’t quite right, wasn’t something I wanted to go through.”

I looked over as he ran a hand through his hair. “Sweetheart, I don’t care if you would’ve yelled at me or needed someone to force you out of bed. I would’ve helped you in any way I could’ve if it meant I knew you were safe.” He paused and came back a littler angrier than before, “And what the hell was that thinking I would be disappointed in you? You think I would rather you get hurt and finish the hunt? I don’t care if it was the easiest hunt in the world. You come get me if you think you can’t do it.”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that came out, “Of all the things my mind tried to throw at me, I knew that was the most irrational. I was so caught up in my feelings for you and that need for approval, that I was willing to put myself in danger. Another reason why I left.” As I thought about what I just admitted to him, I silently cursed myself.

“Your feelings for me?” I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the seat. “I don’t know if you know this, but you Dean Winchester, are a little hard not to fall for.”

His audible scoff opened my eyes. “Well, that’s just fan-freakin-tastic, Y/N. You mean to tell me now, after I randomly run into you and basically force you into my car, that you decide to tell me you have feelings for me? Do you see how that could piss me off?”

I tilted my head to the side in confusion. “Not really.”

He shook his head and pulled the impala back onto the road. I waited for him to elaborate or at least tell me where we were going, but there was nothing. “Dean, what are you doing?” He turned the music on, and Back in Black filled the care.

“I’m bringing you back home. I’m not losing you again, sweetheart. Now that I know these feelings aren’t just one sided.”

#dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural #spn #dean x you #fluff #dean winchester comfort #dean winchester fanfiction

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erodasfishtacos · 4 years ago

Text

#HendallReunited

prompt: request was to write broad but to write something angsty

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: language, sexual content, angst

Harry always had issues with saying ‘no’ to people. He never quite grew out of his manners even when he should have.

He said ‘yes’ to way too many things- signing autographs for rude fans and paparazzi, and agreed to way too many things Jeff suggested.

Saying yes to everything didn’t make his life any easier is the thing. Especially when it came to his wife. She was usually left with the aftermath of him being too nice.

The media painted Y/N in a negative light occasionally and so did the fans because she would stand up for Harry and not let him say ‘yes’ to every single request.

She would tell disrespectful fans he’s not signing autographs because of the way they were screaming and interrupting his work.

Harry wished he could do it himself - admired that his wife didn’t give a fuck what people thought about her. He cared entirely too much what the world would think.

The couple didn’t fight about much - no, not really. Normal couple stuff for the most part. But this was the exception, this is where Y/N found most of their turmoil.

Every few months it would rear it’s ugly head and they’d find themselves in the same position over and over again.

This time - it was really fucking bad.

The couple had been staying in their Los Angeles home for the last few months whilst the singer finalized his album and began promotion.

It was boring meeting among boring lunch outings to get all their ducks in a row. Jeff - his manager the main orchestrator.

He was a great manager and a good friend, but it was also business too which Harry didn’t always comprehend.

At the end of the day, Harry was making Jeff millions upon millions of dollars. But Harry didn’t think that way.

Harry was in a stuffy conference room at the The Late Late Show to work on the script and ideas for the show. Promo had been nonstop.

He was a bit tired as it was nearly just hitting eight in the morning and he had been up late with you - having some late night loving in the hot tub.

“As for guest - Kendall Jenner,” James Corden’s producer states. All the men agree but Harry is taken aback.

“Why...why would we have my ex-girlfriend as one of my guests?” Harry interrupts, confusion knitting his brows.

Kendall and him didn’t end on a bad note - not at all. They hooked up a few times after their ‘break-up’ but once he’d met Y/N she was understanding when he cut it off.

Y/N wasn’t necessarily jealous of the model, but didn’t love when they’d run into each other at events. She was still overtly flirty with Harry without much shame.

Harry also didn’t have an desire to see her or host her as a guest on the show. She was nice but he wasn’t interested in being friends with her. They didn’t have much in common and he was head over heels for his wife.

“The media will eat it up, dude. Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner reunited on a show after four years?” Jeff smiles, the others nodding in amicable agreement.

This is one of this times where Harry needs to say “no,” that it’s disrespectful to his significant other to use an old flame for promo for his album.

He already knows ‘hendall’ will be trending within minutes and he can’t imagine how that would make his parter feel.

“I just...this doesn’t seem like a good idea?” Harry begins hesitantly, making it sound more like a question than a statement.

“Why not?” Eric, one of the writers asks.

“Y’know, I’m married. I don’t think m’missus would appreciate if I did somethin’ like that just for promotion,” he states, scratching at his jaw uncomfortably.

“Look Styles, we’re not asking you to fuck the girl. It just a interview, c’mon,” The executive producer gruffs - wanting those guaranteed views.

Harry swallows - looking at his manager and then at everyone else at the table looking at him for an affirmative answer.

“Uh-sure,” Harry fumbles, feeling anxiety rise into his throat. Fuck, he’s such a god damn pushover.

He’s trying to find his voice to go back on his agreement but the meeting wrapping up and people are leaving with final handshakes.

Harry doesn’t know how to tell Y/N what is going on. He’d been keeping in stored in the back of his mind, not ready to have a blowout.

He never found the perfect time to bring it up and now it was too late. It was the morning of the show and he was due to be at the rehearsals this afternoon.

Harry had finally decided he was going to tell her this morning over coffee but forgot that she had a girl’s day planned with a few friends.

She was already out to breakfast with them when he woke up. His phone had one text from you.

Hi baby. I’m out with the girls. See you at the show tonight. I’ll meet you there around six! Love you!

He was fucked royally and he had no one to blame but himself. Maybe it’d be okay, maybe she’d roll her eyes and tell him he’s an idiot.

Realistically he knew that was just a sweet dream at this point.

—

Harry was fidgety and kept mucking up his lines during rehearsal as it got closer to the showtime and his missus arriving.

Kendall had arrived for hair and makeup without seeing her ex-boyfriend yet. He dreaded seeing the model.

Kendall and Y/N had met a few times at different events. It was always cordial. Kendall was always casual - their relationship was never more than a couple fun dates and sex.

They were kind to each other when they met but he couldn’t deny how much harder his partner kissed him on the mouth afterwards.

Before he know it, his wife is hugging him from behind as he talks to a producer about which cameras to look at.

Y/N noticed the way he tensed up at first and thought about how unusual that was for him. Normally, he’d lean back into her with his full weight causing them both to stumble and laugh.

He slowly, cautiously turns around and his face relaxes a little bit but not completely. “Hi baby,” he hums, leaning in for a kiss.

“You look so handsome,” she replies, admiring his brown pinstriped suit and her pearl necklace that he’d snagged awhile back. She thought it looked better on him anyways.

“You look even better, s’fuckin’ pretty, love,” he gushes, coming back in for another kiss - a little too sensual for the setting.

She was donned in a cropped white shirt, showing of the smooth expanse of her tummy. An oversized blazer of Harry’s, ripped jeans, and heels.

Harry thought fleetingly he couldn’t wait to fuck her after the show. Then remembered that mostly wouldn’t happen.

Reggie, the musical lead, slides up to you two. He smiles wide at you, saying, “Can’t believe you agreed to the guest this evening.”

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, Harry’s raise nearly to his forehead, but when she opens her mouth to ask him to explain they’re interrupted.

“Harry!” The leggy model trots over to the little group. Dressed in an interesting one-piece suit that has sewn in heels. She looked beautiful as ever, of course she was a model.

Both of them turn towards the oblivious girl, “Kendall,” Harry replies with a twinge of anxiety - eyes repeatedly looking at his significant other’s profile as multiple emotions flash.

“Hiya, you’re Y/N right?” Kendall smiles kindly, offering her manicured hand.

She accepts, “Yeah, uh-good to see you again.”

Harry knew she had connected the dots quickly in her head. The hurt, confusion, had hit her eyes before narrowing into full-blown rage at her partner.

“I promise I’ll go easy on him,” Kendall jokes before pinching at Harry’s cheek teasingly. The model was a natural flirt with everyone she got along with.

“Oh, sure,” she replies lamely, attempting to not let her feelings burst out in that moment with her husband . She knew it wasn’t Kendall’s fault.

“I’m going to go grab a bite to eat. I’m probably gonna puke when we do ‘spill or fill’. See you guys soon,” the model waves before trailing off with her assistant.

“Did you kn- of course you knew she was your guest,” Y/N seethes, turning to fully face the guilt-stricken-singer.

He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact, “I did.”

“How long have you known for?” She demands to know, keeping her voice at an angry whisper to not draw attention.

Harry wasn’t going to lie to his love, “About two weeks.”

Y/N replies with a laugh, “let me guess, you let Jeffrey talk you into this bullshit, again.”

His silence is all she needs to know it’s true.

“For Christ’s sake, of course,” She huffs bitterly, “what’s even worse is you didn’t fucking tell me. What the fuck?”

Harry bites his lip, not able to rasp out anything but a pathetic, “m’sorry, love.”

He wasn’t usually good at taking responsibility during a fight. He was stubborn at best but he couldn’t deny his way out of this.

“You will be, you-“

They were cut off by the staff, the audience was trailing in and Harry needed to get mic’d up now.

“This conversation isn’t over,” she points her finger at his chest before storming off to the side of the stage where she’d watch from.

Fucking shit.

Harry was a performer. It’s easy for him to push things to the back of his mind so he can entertain a enamored audience.

But tonight, he was struggling. Eyes flicking over to the teleprompter more than usual, his demeanor not as vivid and carefree.

Not when his wife was glaring daggers at him from stage right. Her hand constantly at her mouth, biting at her nails - a nervous tick of hers.

“Next up, the one, the only, the beautiful model and one of my good friends, Kendall Jenner!” Harry introduces when she walks out and waves at the crowd.

They hug and when they pull apart they step over to where they were playing the game. Either answer the question or eat a nasty food picked out by the other.

They weren’t allowed to see each other’s questions before the game started- both going on blind which put Harry more on edge.

“Okay, Kendall. Rank the members of One Direction on most to least attractive or you will be eating...” Harry spins the table, “Cow tongue.”

She flinched at the disgusting plate, smirking up at Harry before considering her course of action, “I think I can answer this one.”

He wasn’t looking forward to her answer. Neither was Y/N by the way she nearly shaking her foot off her leg.

“Okay, I got this. You - the most attractive, then uh- Zayn....Louis...Niall...Liam,” she laughs, “but all of you are hot!”

Harry fake laughs and acts like he’s impressed by her answer as the crowd roars and cheers.

When Kendall picks up her notecard - she laughs in surprise at the question before looking at him with bright eyes.

“Okay, um, bull penis!” She giggles before starting the question, “I’m dying to know this answer. So...your first album HS1 was released four years ago, correct?”

He nods, apprehensive.

“Which songs were about me? Especially was only angel?” She laughs at Harry’s pale expression before without another thought he shovels the rancid food into his mouth.

Harry looks off to the side to see that his missus is no longer sitting there. Just Jeff - who gives him a thumbs up.

The first thing he did when the show ended and the lights dimmed was bolt off to Jeff - ignoring Kendall who was about to say something to him.

“Where’d Y/N go?”

He thought she might have went out to get a breathe of fresh air but for the next hour and a half he hasn’t seen her once.

“She said she wasn’t feeling very good. She told me to tell you she’d meet you at home,” Jeff shrugs unbothered.

“Damnit!” Harry curses loudly, ripping out of the microphone and the little pack in his back waistband.

“Harry,” Jeff scolds at his unprofessionalism that was abnormal for him.

“No! Don’t fucking ever ask me to do shit like this again. You fucking knew what questions were on those notecards and you said it wasn’t anything about our previous relationship.”

“Harry-“

“Don’t fucking talk to me. You’re a real shit manager sometimes, you know that? Do not contact me tonight or tomorrow for that matter, you douchebag,” Harry barks before storming off towards the dressing rooms.

All the employees were standing around in shock, staring at the popstar as he ignored everyone around him.

Harry was famously known for being a kind, amicable guy. So it took everyone by surprise to hear him speak like that. Even Jeff was shaken up a little.

—

The house was pitch-black as Harry pulled up. The house’s first floor was lined with large, bay windows and not a single light was on.

He could find one room illuminated which was your bedroom. A dim side lamp must have been flicked on. He imagined her purposely turning off all the lights on the trek up the staircase.

Harry didn’t want to admit how much he was trembling with awful nerves and anticipation as he slowly turns the knob of the shared bedroom.

Y/N wasn’t laying in bed as he expected but found the bathroom door shut tightly. He noticed a little yellow bag with tissue paper off to the side by a dresser.

He knocks on the oak door, not daring to enter without permission.

“What do you want?” Y/N answers, tone flat and emotionless.

“Can I come in, baby? Please...” He wasn’t ashamed to beg for forgiveness at this point. Hearing the emptiness in her tone scared him shitless.

“I really could care less,” She replies coldly from her spot in the scalding water decorated with bubbles.

Harry had never felt more unsure in his life as he enters the bathroom. Y/N had gotten proper pissed at him or vice versa before - right before a concert, an award ceremony but she’d never left without him.

Her head was laying against the foam headrest and her body was covered by the soap water. She looked tired and her eyes were puffy from crying.

Harry kneels next to the tub, “look at me, please pet.”

Y/N takes a moment before turning her head and opening her eyes. They were distant, disappointed in the man in front of her.

“I should have told you about Kendall. I should have put up more of a fight to get someone else on instead,” Harry admits, his hands desperately wanting to reach out for her.

She shakes her head with a heart-wrenching sniffle, “it’s not just tonight, Harry. We’ve had this conversation continuously for three and a half fucking years. You try to please everyone, despite them giving no fucks about you.”

“Are you that much of a pushover? You let your ex-girlfriend flirt with you in front of millions. Do you know how embarrassing and unfair that it to me?” She wipes at her eyes to stop the tears spilling over.

Harry hadn’t thought of it like that - to be honest. But he agrees, it wasn’t fair and downright cruel to do that to her.

What? All because he couldn’t say ‘no’ because he didn’t want people to be mad at him? It was pathetic and ridiculous.

“I-I won’t let it happen again, lovie. I mean it, I truly do,” Harry whimpers reaching over to cup her cheek and wants to cry when she pushes him away.

“You’re a broken record. You’ve said that a million times before but don’t change,” Y/N points out, eyes boring furiously into his wife’s.

“I’m goi-“

She cuts him off with a sharp edge in her tone, “Just leave me alone, get out.”

The man’s face crumbles and for a second, she wants to just end the fight and makeup but then nothing would change.

“Baby-“

“Get out!” She finally bellows, tears streaming down her face steadily.

He obliges, head hung in defeat as he closes the door behind him. He stands there’s blankly for a second before going to the walk-in closet.

He’s pulling out a fresh pair of cotton underwear and a large sleepshirt for his partner, laying them neatly on the bed.

Harry doesn’t know what to do with himself while he waits so he pulls out his phone to mindlessly scroll.

He throws it against the wall when he sees #hendallreunited is trending number one on Twitter at the moment.

The singer strips down to his briefs and sits with his back against the tufted headboard, staring blankly at the wall.

His eyes catch a neon pink pair of his swimshorts tossed carelessly on the decorative vase in the corner of the room from the night before .

“Fuck, baby - no need to rush,” Harry groans into Y/N ‘s mouth as she pushes him until he’s sat on the edge of their California king.

She reaches impatiently for the tie on his neon pink swimshorts and yanks them off his slim, peach-fuzz thighs before throwing them onto the vase without a care that it was worth over twenty-thousand pounds.

After edging her in the hot tub with his fingers and mouth, she wasn’t waiting any longer before clambering onto his lap, pulling her swim bottoms to the side, and sinking onto him.

He felt guilty when his cock twitched at the thought of it. But when reality set back in, the arousal with the memory evaporated.

It isn’t much longer until the door is pulled open and Y/N’s padding into the room with a towel secured around her.

She looks at the clothes Harry set out for her and pointedly walks past them to pick out her own nightwear.

That really shouldn’t make his eyes tear up as he watches her slide on a similar pair of panties and an oversized shirt. Spotting a purpling bruise on her upper in thigh from his mouth.

Y/N silently walks past the bed and to the bedroom door, looking back before bleakly stating, “I’m going to sleep in the guest room.”

He frowns, wrinkles appearing on his forehead, “You can sleep in here, love. I’ll take the guest room.”

Harry doesn’t get a reply as she just shakes her head and closes the door loudly behind her.

It’s just - he’s never seen her this upset. She was usually fantastic at communicating her feelings and hashing things out.

She wasn’t one for the silent treatment or ignoring the topic. It had his chest rising faster than usual with anxiety. The serious of it overwhelming him.

He states at the wall for a very long time without wiping the fat tears brimming over his trembling lips.

He couldn’t sleep - it was half past three and he hadn’t even laid down or clicked off the lamp.

Harry accepted sleep wasn’t coming so he begins to tidy the already clean room. He picks up the shorts and tossing them in the hamper.

He refolds some joggers he’d carelessly shoved in a drawer and when he went to move the little yellow bag - curiosity got the best of him.

There was no card and he wasn’t sure who it was for or if it had been a gift already give to Y/N that she had returned home with.

Harry really shouldn’t - but he does. Gently tugging out the paper and reaching in to feel fabric.

Pulling it out, it takes him a minute to identify what it is - two baby onesie. Who was having a baby?

He lays them in front of him, eyes widening in surprise as he reads what is printed across the black cotton.

The first one was the colors and font of his upcoming tour merch with the photo he used on his tour announcement with the heeled boot and white pants.

Love on Tour - Due Date: September 2025

With Special Guest Appearance from Baby Styles

The second one was simple and read across the chest:

I’m having your baby (and it is your business) with embroidered kiwis all of over it.

He frantically reached back into the bag to pull out a bundle of pregnancy tests tied with a silk bow.

They weren’t necessarily trying for a baby but they’re weren’t not trying either. Harry wanted a baby as soon as his missus was willing to give him one.

“No, no, don’t one,” she’d whined into his mouth when he’d reached over to grab a condom off the nightstand.

“Oh sweet thing, you want me bare? Fill you up?” He croons happily, coming back to grip at his thick base and tease at her entrance.

“Ye-yeah, H. Please,” (Y/N) whimpers, bucking her hips in the hope he’d slip inside her.

Harry hums, “Might give you a baby though, y’want me to knock you up?”

“Want it, wan-“

He cuts her off with a hard, blissful kiss as he thrusts all the way inside before pulling out to do it again.

“Gonna give it to you, whatever you want, lovie,” he promises.

The two had never used protection afterwards. It had start about seven months ago and from his knowledge she’d still been getting her periods regularly.

Occasionally, he would palm at her flat tummy and pout, “Haven’t put a baby in you yet, ‘ave I?”

He was so ecstatic but disappointed in himself for ruining everything and pleasing everyone other than who he should be.

Harry needed to fix this. He didn’t want Y/N to lose the excitement of having their baby over a dumb choice of his.

The man’s out of the room and not knocking before entering their guest room. His now pregnant love is laying on-top of the covers.

One hand subconsciously on her belly - which she removes and places next to her when her wife walks in.

The television was on but the volume was low and Y/N wasn’t watching it in the first place anyways.

Harry sits on the edge of the bed, “I opened the yellow bag.”

She looks at him with wide eyes, a little taken aback. she was going to surprise him tonight and forgot to store it away for another time after the fight.

Harry has happy tears dribbling down his cheeks, “you’re having my baby?”

Y/N nods, running a slight hand through his curls. She still had a nasty knot of anger and uncertainty in the pit of her stomach.

It pains her, wanting to share this moment of excitement with Harry but she just couldn’t. The uncertainty of whether Harry would put everybody’s needs before his own baby.

“Come back to bed, want t’talk and celebrate. M’so bloody excited,” Harry murmurs, a large smile decorating his face as he smooths a palm over the expanse of her tummy.

His wife shakes her head and places a hand over his, feeling the cold metal of all of them. “I want to be left alone.”

The twinkle in Harry’s eye diminishes to devastation as he realizes that he’s fucked up so badly that she doesn’t even want to celebrate.

“Pet, can...we just forget about it tonight and be happy ‘bout the baby?” Harry asks selfishly, knowing it was unlikely she’d agree.

She didn’t, a firm expression on her face, “no, I have a lot to think about.”

“Like wha’?” He asks anxiously, unknowing of quite the reason she was so furious.

“Like how you say yes to everything and everyone. We talk and talk about how you need to say ‘no’ and do what’s best for you - for us. You agree to and never follow through”

She takes a shaky breath and continues, “it’s affected our relationship before when you’ve had to cancel our vacation away from all this for a charity concert you’d agree to perform at last minute, dinner reservations because you told your friend we’d be at their art showing they wanted you at.”

Harry knew she was right. He did those things. He wanted everyone to be happy with him - to a fault.

“Tonight was just icing on the cake, you allowed your manager to talk you into hosting your ex on that show. Out of all the people in the world - her. With flirty questions and jabs from her. You let that happen. You care about making everyone happy but in return you don’t care how it affects me. That’s pretty shitty.”

“I’m...I’m really fucking scared you’ll do that even when we have the baby. I need you to put them first and right now...I’m not sure if you’re going to. You can’t put the person you want to spend the rest of your life with first now, how do I know you’ll do it with the baby?”

Harry chokes out a sob as he presses his forehead against the bed, his broad shoulders shaking. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried this hard - years ago maybe. He felt like his wife didn’t have any faith in him and he was to blame.

He looks up at her with swollen eyes - at a loss for what to do or say. He loved her so much and was over the moon that they were going to have a baby.

“How do I fix this, darling? You’re right, I really fucked up. M’sorry,” Harry cries, grabbing at her hands and she allows it.

“Just saying you’re sorry won’t fix it,” Y/N replies flatly, letting Harry squeeze and kiss at the backs of her hands.

“Then what do I bloody do to fix this?” Harry raises his voice in frustration, staring in bewilderment at his wife.

Y/N narrows her eyes at him, “Do not raise your voice at me, Harry. Actions speak louder than words.”

Harry swallows harshly, pressing one finally kiss to her hand. “Okay.”

“Okay?” She repeats.

“I love you, I’ll fix this,” he promises with conviction. He knew what he needed to do and do it tomorrow. So he and his wife could enjoy her new pregnancy.

“I need space tonight, I just...please”Y/N says quietly, rubbing at his shoulder.

It wasn’t the first time they’ve slept in separate rooms because they weren’t getting along but they normally found their way back to each other before sunrise.

Harry nods, lip still tremble with the residual anxiety of the conversation. She allows him to press a soft kiss to her mouth before leaving the room.

—-

Cafe Habana was busy - but no one was paying much attention to Harry and Jeff. It was the morning after and Harry had demanded a meeting over breakfast with his manager.

“Y/N pregnant,” Harry states bluntly after their drinks arrive.

“Oh? Congratulations, dude. That’s exciting!” Jeff leans over to pat him on the shoulder, a big smile.

“The baby is due in September. My next tour starts in next July. The baby will be about nine months. I want to be at home with them for the first year.”

Jeff doesn’t look pleased, “what are you getting at Harry?”

“Reschedule the July and August tour dates. Tack them on to the end of the tour,” Harry lays out flat.

He hadn’t talk to his wife about this but he knew this was how he could prove that he could say ‘no’ and not be a pushover.

“No Harry. Look I get you’re excited about the baby - but that will be such a fucking hassle,” Jeff frowns, sipping his mimosa.

“I’m not asking, Jeff. I’m telling you that’s what needs to happen,” Harry replies firmly, tone strong and unwavering.

Jeff is definitely taken aback by his client’s conviction.

“While we’re on the topic, do not ever put me in a situation like you did yesterday. It affected my wife and I. And I will choose her over this career any day.”

The manager nods in surprise, “Harry, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking for an apology but if you ever pull something like then I’ll be looking for a new management team. Are we clear?”

Jeff once again nods, unsure of where this is coming from but at the thought of losing his biggest client would be disastrous so he’d do whatever to accommodate him.

“Consider it done,” he tells Harry before clearing his throat in a slight panic.

—

Y/N woke up to an empty house. She was restless, she asked Harry to prove to her that he could be what she needed. However, it was a bit unfair because she didn’t know how he could do it.

It’s just…she had a baby to think about. They both needed to be put first and if it took a gnarly fight for Harry to realize it...so be it.

“Baby? Love, where are you?” She hears Harry echo through the whole house. She was sat in the kitchen, on a stool by the island, idly sorting through mail.

“In here!”

Harry jogs in, panting like he sprinted from the garage up to the kitchen. He comes to stand in front of the love of his life.

“I might have not completely fixed everything but...I tried,” Harry tells her, cradling her face in his large palms. “ I just got back from lunch with Jeff. I told him about the baby.”

He takes a deep breath before continuing, “I rescheduled tour dates so I can be with you guys at home in London for the first year. Then...maybe you guys can join me after?”

“Harry…” she’s at a loss for words.

“And I told Jeff that if he ever puts me in a situation like that again, I’m firing him.”

Y/N stares at him, in awe and admiration of the man she chose to marry and keep forever. His face was so sincere and vulnerable.

Harry didn’t know whether it would be enough. If it wasn’t he’d keep trying but all he could do was hope. He waited with bated breath as she processed his words.

“Baby, you-for me?” She murmurs as she stands up and crowds into his space. He instantly wraps her up into a tight hug, missing her touch.

“Of course, pet. I’d do anything for you, I mean it. I’d quit this whole career if you wanted tha’,” he tells her truthfully - lips brushing her forehead.

“I love you, so so much,” Y/N murmurs, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“We’re havin’ a baby,'' Harry sighs dreamily into her mouth, tongue sliding against hers. A large hand came to palm at her belly.

“Yeah, m‘having your baby,” She giggles as he begins to trail the kisses down her jaw and neck - pressing her into the marble countertop.

“Should we name it Kiwi?” Harry rasps as he slides the tank top strap off her shoulder so his lips can meet the cap of her warm shoulder.

“We are not going to be that celebrity couple who names their baby something weird,” Y/N groans as he grounds his hips into hers with intent.

THE END

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