#shit's difficult as fuck

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[pinyatapix]

how i imagine Minecraft Alex's personality to be like vs how i imagine Minecraft Steve's personality. duality of minecraft

[faiell]

inspired by a scene from this heaven of mud by @garagepaperback

Sitting near but far, legs spilled off the edge of the bed, Potter turned to look at him. There were two wide windows on either side of the bed, drapes drawn back. The lights in Draco’s bedroom were off but it didn’t matter, the flat being in the city. Draco learned it was called light pollution- It meant you couldn’t see the stars. It meant it was much harder not to see what was right in front of you.

Potter looked beautiful. It should have ended months ago, preferably before it started.

[irusanw4]

Alright yeah I want/need to do all of this so let's try this out.

25 notes = Finish crocheting bearded dragon from scrap yarn

75 notes = Find and finish crocheting owl and crochet his crown

125 notes = Start using a self care app again

150 notes = Crochet a seagull plush

175 notes = Track my sleep again

250 notes = Crochet my fursona plush

300 notes = Begin learning C#

400 notes = Try again at learning pixel art

600 notes = Set a consistent schedule for showering and actually follow it

800 notes = Begin work on a Rain World mod

1200 notes = Try to get hired as a page at the local library

1750 notes = Buy a chest binder

2500 notes = Finally resume therapy and try to get a different therapist

5000 notes = Clean my room? Might change this one if I can think of something more important, but for now it sticks

OLD 5K NOTES GOAL, NO LONGER APPLICABLE: Come out to relatives as non-binary and tell them my new name (yeah this one just kinda Happened lol, it was surreal)

And some tags!

@fymo-blogs @therewillbenoromance @theshaddowedsnow @wxtchesheart @the-principality-of-sealand @non-tyrannical-usa (sorry countryverse members I don't have big moots lol)

[randomalistic]

I used to avoid watching wreck it Ralph bc turbo would make me feel new emotions that I couldn’t/refused to process

you and me brother... that's how i was for 7 years and then I let the floodgates open

> Hyperfixation trance state

> Wake up 9 months later in a parking lot

> I'm in a tracksuit covered in dirt and grass stains

> Strong urge to check my computer

> 2-hour video on my hard drive

[om340700]

blog is also getting this. it does not matter if some things dont make sense rn i just want starry belpheiregsgsffffdf.

i will now pass out and pray i dont dream

[cnth-rb]

Don't ask why he's naked (it's because I forgot to draw his shirt and I realized it too late)

[problemnyatic]

Yeah yeah linux having problems is a big joke but honestly have you considered that linux wouldn't run like shit if it didn't have to reverse engineer byzantine proprietary drivers and hardware architecture and deliberately hostile BIOS firmware and one thousand other things that exist solely to force everything that isn't a corporate OS to suffer miserably on every computer ever

[mychlapci]

here are some tfp megatron doodles i did while wine-drunk and watching my telenovela.

i cannot stop thinking about... what if tfp megs could also take off his helmet...

[beneathsilverstars]

the dissociaterrrr

(They're good enough at Tetris that a couple dollars in quarters will last them a decent amount of time, but sometimes they splurge and get the $12 all-you-can-play pass. The album they're listening to is harsh noise!)

[mysterycitrus]

dear diary how do u write from jason todd’s perspective without sounding sincerely unhinged

[front-facing-pokemon]

[lotus-pear]

bsd fic authors i understand yalls pain SO well right now why is it so fucking HARD to write dazai. like i have a whole fucking spreadsheet dedicated to tireless analysis i have done on my part so i can accurately characterize him but he is such an unpredictable and morally gray character that it's hard knowing his limits and boundaries and where he draws the line for himself.

[kaccvcate]

Really proud of my friend today. He's schizophrenic and when I met him he was in the most unstable delusional state I've ever seen. Well, I never argue with my schizo friends' most severe delusions (such as believing they are working in the fbi, or simultaneously in new york and serving in afghanistan, while also being a wolf and living unemployed in a mental health facility.) These things seem obviously impossible but it's not easy to physically demonstrate how, and verbal argument is pretty stressful for a psychotic - in a delusional state it's much easier to believe your friends are all liars. But I talked to him a little around them, and admitted that sometimes I struggle to understand him even though I try, and today he suddenly told me his actual name and said he's in the first lucid state he's been in in years. He's takin a break off facebook to get his life together. Hope it lasts bro 👍

[puppiesareperfect]

My name is Heinz

I made the inator

It was difficult, to put the pieces together

But then one day, everything went so wrong

And now all I can do, is sing this stupid song

My name is Heinz Heinz

[creekfiend]

as someone with lukewarm opinions about dragon age (grew up with it, loved it, came back as an adult and was disappointed) i would be very curious to hear your opinions about it if you ever feel like swinging a bat at that particular hornets nest

I don't even have the energy to get into that all of the aspects of things that I hate about dragon age lmfao. primarily I hate mage circles because of my personal trauma, and generally I hate that they are so fucking mealy mouthed about "oooooh well we can never know whether this thing is actually good or bad, ooh there's so many facets to this issue, soooo many shades of grey, what if this group that got genocided were also slave owners, boy that would sure complexify things in your mind wouldn't it, we are so fucking smart" fuck off! go to hell!