#shit? like that but with myself in my head
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xoxolilixx · 3 days ago
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☽︎ 𝘽𝙞𝙜 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡 ☾︎
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✩𝙀𝙠𝙠𝙤 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧✩
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✩𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 - your ego is bigger than your cunt, and now your forced to eat your words by Ekko's hands.
✩𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨 - SMUT. pet names, crying, ekko being a asshole, unprotected sex(WRAP THAT SHIT BEFORE YOU TAP THAT SHIT)
✩𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - this is my first smut in a while and I feel like I overdid it with the details🥲 Nonetheless I hope you guys enjoy it ❤︎
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You were always a little cocky. You thought the most of yourself, and that was fine, that's what Ekko loved about you, especially in moments where it came to bite you in the ass, like now.
"Are you sure, love?" He chuckled softly as he sat down in his desk chair, leant back with his knees spread as his dark beautiful eyes watched as you sat atop his desk, "I don't wanna break you." You couldn't help but laugh at his teasing and condescending tone, taking it as his way of challenging you as you hopped off his desk, "I'll be just fine, Ekko," you smirked as you maneuvered yourself in between his thighs, making his face somewhat leveled with the blessing in between your legs. "I'm a big girl, baby, I can handle myself," You continued as you stood before him in nothing but short, tight, black leather shorts that were paired nicely with fishnets and a makeshift crop top. The soft and plush skin of your thick thighs pushed through the holes of the fishnets, he couldn't help but eye you up and down to take in all of your curves. It wasn't until you gently pinched his chin with your thumb and pointer finger that he stopped looking at you, his eyes locking yours before he smirked. "You a big girl, huh?" He chuckled. "Yea, I'm not like those other bitches you used to fuck, I can actually handle it," you smirked as you leaned down closer to him, your hands resting on his arm rests as you bent down. Something about the way your body was bent down and the way your words slipped past your lips, it made his dick jump in his cargo pants. "Alright, show me how much of a big girl you are~"
He forced your words right back down your throat when he barely sinks the tip of his cinnamon brown, 8.5 inch, girthy cock into your soft, tight, little pussy and you start whimpering, panting out tiny little breaths as you feel him slowly stretch you open. "Damn baby, I thought you were a big girl," he chuckled "you can't even get past the tip princess," he cooed as his big form trapped you against the bed, his hand holding his weight up from beside your head as you look up at him with those big, needy, doe eyes. You didn't even have a comeback for his teasing comment, instead a broken whine slipped past your lips. He couldn't help the grunt that came out when your pussy tightened around his tip like a vice in an attempt to force him out. The mixture of your tightness and the sight of your pretty face scrunched up as you tried to inch away from him made his cock twitch as precum spilt out of his tip.
"Fuckk~" you whimpered as he free hand gripped your hip, tugging you back to him with a breathy chuckle, "c'mon princess, don't tap out now, you doing so good f'me," he cooed mockingly, coaxing tears from your eyes as he sunk deeper into your tight pussy. "Poor baby, what's wrong?" He smirked as he reached up, wiping your tears from your cheeks with his thumb. His condescending tone made you want to curl up into a ball, you suddenly felt so much smaller under him, and your sniffing and crying as he sunk farther into you didn't help.
The stretch hurt so much that it left your legs shaking and you clawing at his forearms. You were thankful that Ekko had ditched the his condescendingness, gently coaxing you through it with "your doing so good f'me," and "I got you baby, just a little more," before messily kissing you so deeply that it left your head spinning with love. All whilst holding the back of your knees to your chest, leaving your feet dangling over his shoulders as he watched his cock bully its way into your tight, weeping pussy.
"Shit baby, I bet you wished you listened to me now~" he cooed softly as his eyes rolled back, feeling you clench down on him so hard that he could barely move in you.
After that, you learned to not be so cocky and listen to him…
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mettasing · 16 hours ago
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maybe it's linked with society in general. people need to brag and pull through, put on a "pulling yourself by your bootstraps" facade to justify their pain and pass as deserving of compassion and help (and it can backfire). still, this game is unfair. it makes you sick in the head, it makes you part of this world-view where ordinary people with chronic illnesses and neurodivergencies who cannot "make up" for their supposed "inadequacy" with savant-like shit, or who cannot just come through and show unmatched resilience, are seen as unworthy, as weak, as whiny.
i myself cannot even start to explain my shortcomings in this world not accommodated for me to other people, because from the get-go i know that they will put on this dreaded facade of successful, wise, unbothered, fuckass annoying bootstrappers, and i will "bother" them with "excuses". my classmate needs to take their pills debilitating them, making them skip lessons, but managing their condition that won't go away. i get that uni teachers aren't your wise mentors, and bureaucracy is a vile beast, but my classmate is not being treated nicely at all because of this fact (i know that "uni" part may make me sound like a fucking hypocrite, but higher education seems like almost a must in my country; it goes away slowly, but i saw abled people getting panic attacks and needing help there). if the person is deemed "annoying", "flawed" then they can't be empathised with at all and they don't deserve understanding and accomodations. when you try to advocate for yourself, you are annoying. when you're just experiencing shit and god forbid if it's not private, you are annoying. when people cannot find anything worthy in you, be it your intelligence, beauty, charisma or some fucking sort of "quirkiness" i guess – and be it in a reasonable amount, you are annoying. and if you are annoying, no one cares. you're annoying them with your stupidity, with your weirdness, with your excuses, you're bothering them, you're abusing their emotional resources by being someone who's having a hard time in any way and could really use some compassion and help, by being your struggling self. to them, you're ignoring their asinine advices that, also to them, are wise just because they said it, you don't want to be good.
and – voilà – you're not a person anymore.
Kinda fucked up that we all coo and sympathize with "former gifted kids" but never talk about the students who had to stay late after school or over the summer for remedial classes/clubs, who struggled to get above a C, who were given up on or punished. Who tried so hard to understand or just couldn't. Who were grouped with the "stupid kids" (a classmate called us that in remedial math btw)
Autistic kids and adhders who can't relate to their gifted peers and are constantly alienated by them. Kids who struggled in school due to dealing with a chronic or mental illness or physical/learning/developmental disability. Those of us who have had to drop out of highschool or college. Kids who worked so hard and wanted to be seen as smart, but never were. Who watched as their peers seem to fly by them in school, while they were left behind. Who were bullied and put down by those in the gifted and honors classes. Whose confidence was absolutely destroyed by education.
I love you all and I'm so sorry the school system failed you. I'm sorry you weren't properly accommodated and given the education you deserved. I'm sorry people put you down for something that they never had to fight for.
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rainy-day-gracie · 2 days ago
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wedding night (2)
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pairing: General Acacius x virgin!wife!Reader
content warning(s): reader insert, no use of y/n, arranged marriage, implied age gap but nothing specific, oral (f recieving), fingering, loss of virginity, piv sex, innocence kink, self indulgent praise kink, Acacius definitely talks you through it, discussions of consent because consent is sexy mandatory, discussion of future sexual acts, AFTERCARE because aftercare is hot, general acacius is in loooooove but doesn't know it yet haha, romantic and intimate as hell, grievous historical inaccuracy because it's fucking fanfiction, canon divergent because duh
a/n: So guys. I saw Gladiator II and it was awesome and Pedro Pascal is the sexiest man alive (in my heart). However, this character's name is not Marcus. I don't know who lied, but we've all been fooled. So in this sequel, the general's name is just Acacius in order to stay at least a little bit true to the actual canon.
I definitely will be writing for these two again because holy shit I made this romantic and I love them so much.
Read wedding night (1) here!
Read bloodlust here!
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Acacius saw heaven in your eyes, a piece of salvation he never thought he might be able to grasp with his blood-stained hands.
He glanced down your body, wrapped beautifully in your white wedding gown, gold jewelry shining in warm candlelight. For a moment, he wondered Venus herself were tricking him with her immortal seduction.
But the blush of red in your cheeks, the shine of desire in your eyes, the beat of your heart in your chest....
No immortal possibly could mimic such evidence of true, temporary, and precious life.
Acacius had been with plenty women in his lifetime, had thought he understood what desire was.
I want you, you had said.
Now, he thinks he's only scratched the surface.
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The general-- Acacius -- peered at you like a starving man at a feast, drinking you in, turning the wheels in his head of what he wanted to do first.
He grasped your hand in both of his, studying the golden band on your ring finger. Evidence of your gods-blessed union.
"I want to see you wearing nothing.... except for this," Acacius breathed, his voice low, and dreamy, like the words were slipping from him with no control.
"I'd like that very much," you said, trying to keep your hand from trembling under his touch.
"May I strip you bare, darling?" He asked, calloused fingertips fiddling with the clasp on your golden bracelet.
"Yes."
Instantly, the bracelet fell, and then the other, and then the other. Acacius' gentle touch drove you wild, methodical and sure. He stopped for a moment, glancing at the purity ring on your pinky, and smirked in a way that nearly made your knees buckle.
Glancing back up to your gaze, he held your stare as he pulled the purity ring off. His lips were a hairsbreadth away from yours, letting you smell the sweet cherry wine on his breath.
"Kiss me," you mumbled.
Acacius' smirk remained. "Patience, darling."
He tucked the purity ring into a pocket of his tunic, and turned you around, so your back pressed against his chest. A sigh caught in your throat, realizing he had turned you both to face the full-length mirror in the corner of the bedroom.
"Answer me honestly," he said, trailing one of his knuckles down the exposed skin of your spine. "Have you ever touched yourself?"
Heat rose to your cheeks, and you shivered at his light touch. "Uh..."
"Don't you lie to me, now. It's a great sin to lie to your husband," he whispered, his teeth nipping lightly at your ear.
"Yes."
"Yes, what?"
"Yes, I- I've touched myself. I've touched... my..."
"Your cunt?" Acacius mused.
You nodded, your chest rising heavily.
"Did you… like it? When you touched yourself?"
"N-no. I've been told it is not ladylike, to... pleasure yourself in that way."
Acacius kissed the back of your neck, making you arch into his touch. "Oh, my poor darling... there's nothing more ladylike in the world. Don't worry... I will show you how."
A full whimper escaped you at that, and Acacius undid the knots of your dress with a chuckle.
The dress fell, leaving you in only your loincloth, tied at your waist. But Acacius was looking at something else.
His eyes were transfixed on your perked breasts, his mouth slightly open as he wrapped one of his hands around the soft flesh. A high-pitched sigh left your throat, and he reached around with his other hand to take hold of the other breast.
"Do you like it when I hold you like this?" Acacius murmured, his mouth at your temple. He twitched his fingertips to pinch your nipples softly, making you close your eyes in pleasure. "Look at me."
Snapping your eyes open again, he stared you down in the mirror with a small devilish grin. He pinched your breasts again, pulling an answer from you. "Yes, Acacius."
"Good girl," he praised, your cunt throbbing at the words. He let go of your breasts, untying the cloth at your hips until you were utterly bare before him, save for your wedding ring. "Lie down on the bed, darling."
He brushed a palm over your plush backside, guiding you towards the beautiful linen bed. Plenty big for two.
You obey with a shy smile, sinking into the blankets and pillows like you were always meant to fit there. Watching from your comfortable bed, Acacius loomed over the foot, undoing buttons on his tunic, and ties on his robes.
Your lips parted slightly as he exposed the tan, scarred skin of his chest, flickering candlelight bathing him in a warm glow. He studied your expressions like a hawk, watching for any sign of discomfort or displeasure.
As he unlaced the toga and loincloth, leaving him as bare as you were, you had to keep yourself from gasping.
His cock hung heavily between his legs, not even fully aroused but still bigger than anything you had anticipated. He wrapped a hand around his manhood, smirking at your expression, but mercifully saying nothing about it.
“I am curious, my wife,” Acacius began, his voice a rumble. He pulled himself onto the marriage bed, caging you in the sheets with his arms and legs straddling. His eyes never left yours. “What did they say about me? When you learned of our union, what whispers crossed your ears?”
You licked your lips, speaking suddenly a challenge. “Um, that you w-were brave…”
Acacius leaned down, pulling one of your legs over his broad shoulders.
“…and strong…”
He mirrored the motion with your other leg, leaving your weeping cunt exposed.
“…a-and…”
Acacius paused, waiting for your answer. “And?”
“General, I shouldn’t speak ill…” you moaned, wondering if one could combust with desire.
“Tell me the truth, darling. Or you won’t get what you so eagerly want.”
“Th-they said you were cruel,” you stammered, desperately, any wall of self preservation coming down. “They said you took anything you desired, washed your hands with blood, and violence was the only language you spoke. Your rage eclipses that of Achilles, and your eyes blacken every time you raise a banner. You are of Mars himself, shedding blood like you were born to it.”
Acacius’ smirk from between your legs was wicked, and he broke your gaze for the first time since lying on the bed.
He studied your open cunt with a glazed expression, like he was lost in the pleasure of staring at your slick desire.
“If I am of Mars then you are of Venus, my darling.”
His words filled you with affection, the way his knees bent on the bed almost like he was worshiping an altar between your legs.
“So pure…” he murmured, as if the words had slipped from his lips.
Your back arched like a bow as he licked a stripe up your soaking slit, sighs escaping from your throat.
Acacius hummed with delight, fucking you on his tongue lazily, drinking your desire like nectar of the gods.
You buried your hands in his hair hesitantly, unsure of what would be pleasing to him. In all the times you eavesdropped on the married women of the court, never once had they mentioned anything like… this. Never once had they mentioned any of the overwhelming pleasure racking every limb of your body. Never once had they mentioned the lightning erupting over your skin with every brush of his calloused palm.
Acacius trailed his hands down your arched torso, cupping your breasts as his mouth traced patterns over your cunt. Your breathy moans made him chuckle into your flesh, the vibrations making you lift your hips with pleasure.
Throbbing built in your pussy, clenching around his tongue as your desire jumped at every brush of his lips.
“A-Acacius, gods…” you cried out, throwing your head back as a pinnacle raced towards you.
“Relax, my darling,” Acacius breathed, bringing one of his hands down to rest at your soft inner thigh. “I’m going to put my hands on you now.”
“Oh, please,” you begged, unsure of what it was you were begging for.
“Tell me if it becomes too much,” Acacius said, and his hand on your thigh moved.
The gentle brush of his rough fingertips on your slick folds had you gasping anew, pulling lightly on the locks of his hair.
“Such a pretty cunt,” Acacius mumbled to himself. “I have half a mind to just keep you like this.”
You whined in protest, your hips chasing his touch.
“So needy for a virgin.”
You threw your head back as his finger pushed past your slick folds, reaching spots inside of yourself that you hadn’t known existed.
“Oh, so tight, my love. You truly are pure.” Acacius curved his finger, brushing against something spongy, and sensitive. A guttural moan escaped your throat, and he laughed softly. “When the pleasure peaks, do not fight it. Let it take you away, somewhere only you and I exist.”
You nodded at his command, closing your eyes as your head sunk into the linen pillows.
Unrestrained cries erupted from you as he pulled his finger out, and in, and out again, hitting that sweet spot with every push inside of your aching cunt.
When he pressed his tongue to the bud at the top of your core, he pushed a second finger deep into your slick, making you wonder if the gods truly did become man. The stretch of his fingers pricked a pain deep within, making you clench tighter around his calloused fingertips. A slight brush of his rough facial hair against your core was your ultimate undoing.
You called out his name as the pleasure rushed down your spine, into your belly, and built in your desperate cunt. He knew it, too, and continued to thrust his fingers deep inside with renewed enthusiasm. His tongue licked against your clit with hunger, tipping you over the edge.
Cries escaped your lips as the pleasure overwhelmed you, every muscle in your body going taut as the desire took over. Your cunt clenched tightly, chasing his fingers, and your spire curved with tension as the wave of lust claimed you.
Acacius watched with a lazy smile as your core squeezed with your orgasm, evidence of your desire dripping off his lips.
“Acacius… Acacius…” you breathed as the climax subsided, your body relaxing into the bed once more.
“How do you feel, darling?” Acacius asked, crawling back up to press his nose against yours. His brown eyes were dark, pupils blown wide with adoration.
In place of an answer, you buried your hands in his curly, soft hair, pressing his lips to yours. He responded instantly, capturing your mouth with the passion of love and war.
His tongue pushed against yours, pure want seeping from every brush of his lips against yours. You gasped as his hands cupped your hips gently, like he was making sure you were a solid thing he could hold in his hands. Like he was worried you might slip through his fingers.
“I want more,” you whispered against his mouth, and he nodded with his eyes closed, like he was dreaming.
“It will hurt for a moment, but I will be gentle with you,” Acacius breathed, trailing light kisses against your throat. “Tell me when there is pain, or if you wish to stop.”
You nodded against his temple, and he pulled his lips back instantly.
“Say you want me, darling. Say you will tell me to stop if you wish.”
The intensity in those brown eyes, the desperation, had you squirming with desire once again.
You held his face in your hands, tracing your thumb against his rough stubble, studying him.
Acacius' nose was utterly Roman, looking like it had possibly been broken once or twice. Every mark on him was evidence of a man that had seen the Underworld and walked away, but not without a few scars to show for it. Though he had been nothing but gentle with you, there was no doubt he could live up to his reputation of bloodletting.
Still, you held him close.
"I want you, Acacius. I will tell you to stop if I wish to." There was no hesitation, no tremor in your voice.
He sighed in relief, reaching down to his hard cock and bringing it between your legs. You whined at the sensitive touch, and he grunted at the slickness of your folds.
"So wet for me, darling, so perfect," he moaned in your ear, guiding the soft flesh of your thighs to wrap around his hips.
Tentatively, he rubbed his cock up and down your core, getting you accustomed to the blunt feeling. You whined breathlessly, near begging for him to fuck you already.
"Patience, darling. I need to go slow to not hurt you," he mumbled.
The blunt head of his cock pushed past your sensitive folds, and you dug your nails into the strong muscles of his back.
Acacius let out a guttural groan into the heated skin of your neck. "So wet, and tight."
You called his name like a prayer, your head tossed back in pain and pleasure. Over and over again, you called his name.
"A little more, easy, easy..." Acacius moaned, pushing further into your virgin cunt.
You cried out in pinching desire. "S-so much, Acacius..."
"I know, darling. We're halfway there."
You held tight to him, his rough hands on your soft skin distracting you from the stretch of your cunt around his cock. "H-halfway?"
Acacius chuckled, holding still inside of you to let you adjust. "You feel... divine. So, so perfect, my sweet wife."
A high pitched moan escaped you as he pulled back slightly, kissing your neck as he pushed farther in. You clenched around him, and his lips on your clammy skin sent a fresh wave of lust panging though you.
But Acacius stopped, and you gasped in pain again, as if he had hit a barrier in your core he couldn't push past. You knew he could bottom out if he so wanted, but not without tearing you deeply.
Instead of pushing forward, he stayed where he was inside of you, tracing his nose along the curve of your jaw.
When he spoke again, his voice was low, almost like he didn't mean for you to hear his words.
"Do you want to know what I want, darling?"
You were too breathless to answer.
Acacius continued. "I want to fuck you so well that all of Rome hears you calling my name. I want to mark you with my mouth so you may look in the mirror and think only of me. I want fall to my knees and thank the gods that gave you to me. But for now, my darling... I want you to come on my cock with your most divine cunt."
Your cunt, as if on command, fluttered, and you moaned as he was able to fill you to the hilt without a pinch of discomfort.
"Oh, yes," Acacius whispered, his tongue darting out along your pulse point. You cried out in pleasure as he shifted inside of you, holding tight to his strong back.
"You... are... perfect, darling," he panted, thrusting slowly, in and out, in and out. "So warm, and tight..."
"Acacius, please..."
"Please... what?" Acacius teased, biting your bottom lip slightly as he pushed back into you.
"More... more," you said, digging your nails into the muscles of his shoulders.
Acacius responded in kind, chuckling at your desperation. "As my lady commands."
His thrusts into your aching cunt deepened, becoming harder as you grew needy for his strength. You tossed your head back with a high-pitched cry when he was able to hit that perfectly sensitive spot inside of you, and the reaction made him even more ravenous for you.
"Oh, you take my cock so well," Acacius praised, the words making your cunt clench around him. "So, so good, my darling."
As if he knew what you needed before you did, he pulled his chest away from yours, sitting up on his knees while thrusting into you. He looped his wide arms underneath your spread legs, angling you upwards on his thighs and pulling your hips up off of the bed. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and you arched your back off the sheets with a shriek of delight.
"Acacius, Acacius," you cried out, the new angle sending him deep into your core, hitting spots you hadn't even known existed.
"That's it, say my name," Acacius said with a smirk. "Say my name when I fuck you, tell all of Rome who is making you feel this good."
You couldn't stop, the falling of his name from your lips dripping like sweet honey. All you could feel was the sweat of his skin against yours, the calloused of his hands as they gripped your soft thighs closely, and the depths of your core his cock was able to reach.
"You're going to cum for me," Acacius ordered, his words coming out in pants of breath. "You're going to cum for me, because you're a good girl. You're a good girl, aren't you? Letting me fuck her virgin cunt so nicely, such a good girl..."
At his praise, your cunt tightened around his cock, back arching like a bow. As you came, he pressed a calloused hand into the flesh above your pelvis, the pressure making your high all the more intense. You cried out his name, over and over again, the two of you becoming the only people in the world as the tidal wave of pleasure overwhelmed you.
Acacius' thrusts into your aching core sped, became less focused, and you knew he was losing control himself as you came apart underneath him. Your name fell from his lips as he pressed his hand further into the spot below your belly, where his cock seemed to bulge into his palm as your cunt pulsed around him.
"Such a good girl, such a good wife," he moaned. Only when your core could only twitch in response to his strong thrusts did he slow, leaning back over you and capturing your lips in a searing kiss.
A warmth pooled within you, evidence of his pleasure. You didn't know if you'd ever felt such an intimate connection with anyone as you did with him, his kiss burning a brand into your heart as the heat of passion faded.
Acacius pulled away after a moment, breathing heavily against your throat. "Hold still a moment," he warned. His palms pressed against your hips, his cock sliding from you with a slight sting. You followed his advice, your legs feeling weak and shaky.
You studied him as he crossed the bedchamber to the washroom, his broad back dimpling with the movement. Returning with a clean cloth and a faint smile on his lips, the dimple in his cheek made your heart swell as he saw your sprawled body on his massive bed.
"Feeling comfortable?" Acacius asked, eyebrows raised with amusement.
You nod, watching him as he crossed over to you, pressing a chaste kiss against your lips as he carefully wiped your messy core.
Breaking from your lips for a moment, he pressed his nose against yours, and you cherished the gentle, intimate gesture.
"Shall I call the servants for a hot bath?" Acacius mumbled, tossing the cloth aside.
"A hot bath sounds divine, but only if we may take one together," you reply, slightly giddy.
Acacius furrowed his brows in confusion. "What is making you laugh, my darling?"
You kissed him again, long and slow. Time stood still, and it was as if you could physically feel the bond forging between the two of you, forging in a slow burn of a crackling fire. It was warm, and easy, and comforting.
You broke away, studying him in his eyes. "You are simply... not what I expected."
Acacius smiled, that damn dimple curving in his cheek.
The most feared general on the continent.
Your husband.
Acacius kissed your forehead. "You, my darling, are everything I've been dreaming of."
---
taglist (people that asked to be tagged in part 2): @marianastudiesart @joeldjarin @fallout-girl219 @shantellorraine @lanadelslay69-420 @pedrofan
my request box is open! would love to hear y'all ideas for Joel, Acacius, Javier, or Oberyn :)
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nicholasgoodgirl · 1 day ago
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in the sheets- spencer reid
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summary: sleeping with spencer and caring less about the consequences from your dad.
warnings: smut, no protection (wrap that shit), aaron is your dad, age gap (4yrs), multiple rounds, slight squirtung, aftercare
a/n: i wanna be that one writer who writes the reader as aarons daughter.
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me and spencer were kissing from the front door all the way to my bedroom. stumbling on eachother while moving backwards towards the bed unable to move off of eachother.
i fall onto the bed; with him ontop of me. he kissed down my jaw to my collar bone leaving sloppy wet kisses.
i reach down, palming him through his pants, looking him straight in his eyes. i see the intense desire in his eyes making me smile.
"can i?" i ask messing with the waist band of his pants. "please" he begged.
i get up from the bed sitting spencer down then unzipping his pants. he helped me pull them down; pulling his boxers down as well.
i grab ahold of his now free cock letting my tounge swirl around the tip, my mouth taking more of him. he gasped at the feeling.
surprisingly he took ahold of my hair and forced my mouth down further on his dick, it caught me off gaurd making me cough a bit.
as i bobbed my head i tried my best to supress my gag reflex everytime he hit the back of my throat.
"k' thats enough. get up" he helped me off the ground and pulled me in for a kiss then made me lay on his bed; turning me over on my stomach.
"please baby take off your shirt" he said while taking off my pants already, then tossing them to the floor.
i took my shirt off and just threw it away from me. his shirt tossed in the same direction.
he runs his hands down my back then to my hips. he guides the head of his cock to my hole, teasing my entrance.
"can we just fuck for now. and not tease eachother" i propose the possibility. "sounds like a plan" i audibly gasp at him slipping into me, bottoming out.
spencer was thrusting into me so easily "god you feel so good" his words wobble out.
he increased his speed gripping onto my hips which i knew were gonna leave marks.
if i was being honset with my self i didn't think he had it in him, but i never fully doubted him.
he brings his hand down to my clit rubbing it in circles while also applying pressure. making me squirm under him. "mm- fuck m' gonna cum" my words muffling into the matress.
"thats fine" i didn't even have to look back to know he was smiling, just from the way he said it.
just one more rut and i felt myself get filled. he fucked his seed into me some more and i had climaxed.
i wanted more, i was yearning for more i wanted him to pull so many orgasms from me tonight. just looking at him made my eyes glaze with lust.
he pulled out and turned me over "can we go again?" i asked before he could say anything. a warm smile and a nodd is all i received before he penetrates me again.
he scans over my face as he pushes inside of me "you're really pretty y'know that?" he leans down to press a sentimental kiss on my lips.
"thanks baby, thats-.. sweet" the last word choking out when his tip brushes my cervix.
he puts his hands back at my waist for leverage to hit into me deeper. i pull at the blankets underneath me. i was still so sensitive from my last orgasm but my need for him was much more stronger.
"I can't really last-" his cock twitched then filled me up again "-that long looking at you" it was endearing really and i can't even be mad about it, but he was still hard.
it was like having sex with a horny teenage boy with much more stamina.
he lays down ontop of me not really putting his full weight on me, he pulls out and turns over; flopping onto his back.
i get on him, straddling his lap "can i ride you?" he just groaned a 'mhm' so i grabbed his hard cock and aligned it with my somehow slick entrance.
i sink down on him, leaning down to place kisses on spencers neck while rocking my hips back and forth. i sit up and use his shoulders to help me go up and down on him. at the certain angle his dick was hitting inside of me made pornographic moans leave my lips and also made me see stars. i was onto my second orgasm tonight.
"ahh.. shit" i laid ontop of spencer, rocking my hips a little; riding out my orgasm feeling pure ecstasy.
i was so tired but the room was thick with tension and lust. i couldn't physically get enough of spencer reid, as the minutes passed i found new things about him that turned me on. like right now, his heavy breathing and the light tracing that his hand is doing on my back.
"turn over. might be a while til' we can do this again" he turned me over; my face laying into the pillows. "can you breath?" he asked fisting some hair into a make shift ponytail. "yeah" he released my hair after the response
his tip dragged through my sensitive folds, he then fucks his tip inside me. my brows knit and my mouth falls open.
he slams inside of me "im goin' all the way" spencer warns.
i put my face into the pillow and let out a scream. I'd never been fucked like this ever. and i never had someone go multiple rounds in different positions for so long, it's been atleast 30 minutes.
his leverage this time was the headboard of his bed. he kept him somewhat steady
he slams into me repeatedly, his tip brusing my cervix. i clench around him, a whimper falling from his mouth it sounded like music to my ears I'd do anything to hear it again.
spencer was using everything in him to hit deeply inside me, it was making my mind go blank. all that was leaving my mouth was moans and his name as if thats all i remembered
"spencer!!" i screamed. i held onto the blankets for dear life as if it could help me take it.
"sorry.. sorry" he began slowing down "no dont stop!" i yelled quickly. so he reverted his speed and continued to go as fast as before.
i possibly could have squirted, i just know my own cum is leaking out of me while he's still going.
"jesus fuck-" he moans, pulling out with a slick pop then collapsing next to me.
i felt worn out, but like i could go just one more time but i highly doubt I'd even be awake for it
"im sorry about that" he sighs into my hair.
"don't apologize" is all i could utter in the moment.
i let my eyes rest and he tucked the hair that fallen in my face behind my ear. i opened my eyes to see him admiring my face "that was eventful wasn't it?" i smile nodding, i could feel butterflies in my stomach just from looking at him.
"lets get cleaned up" spencer sat up but i didn't sit up with him, i actually got under the blankets that were already a mess.
"m' tired" is all i said while snuggling into the balnkets "thats fair." he got out of bed and went to the bathroom with some clothes in hand. which im not quite sure when he got them.
--
i wake up to a damp haired spencer reid. and looking around it was still night. I've only fallen asleep for a few minutes "c'mon sweet girl you need to get clean"
he carried me into the bathroom and placed me in a bath. "im gonna go change the sheets and blankets. try cleaning yourself.. and please dont fall asleep in the tub. it's a major safety hazard" i nod along to what he's saying so he know im listening.
when he leaves i start getting all cleaned up. i could really get used to this princesses treatment, and the thing is we aren't even together and this is the best I've been treated by a man.
i got out the tub and dryed myself off. looking around i saw no clothes, so i wrapped the towel around me and walked out the bathroom.
"spencer!?" i yell out for him but there was no reply. i hear footsteps approaching the bedroom "yeah?" it was just spencer.
"i have no clothes" it's like a instant lightbulb went off in his head "i totally forgot" he went in his closet and came out with a black t-shirt.
"thanks" i walk back into the bathroom but before i could close the door spencer told me he ordered pizza and it should be here by time i was completely finished.
i put the shirt on and it was at my mid thigh so i think i was good for tonight.
i sit on the bed and get comfortable under the blankets of the replaced bedsheets. spencer comes in the room with a box of pizza and two bottled waters in the other hand.
"got the goods" he chuckled placing the food and drink on the bed. "thanks spence"
he climbed into bed next to me "so how are we telling your dad about this" i nearly choked on air.
"he's not finding out about this moment-" ,,no no of course not he'd kill me. i mean us. whatever this is." his words were kinda doubtful of what he thought we were.
"oh.. lets just wait it out and hope I'm not pregnant" i lightened the moment with reid laughing at my half joke.
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liaculpa · 2 days ago
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Well shit, this hit me like a brick to the face.
I've always been terrible at asking for and accepting help, or feeling like I'm worth helping in the first place. I always just assumed that when people said "if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know" when I was going through hell, it was just a figure of speech. I never took anyone's offer for help when I lost my dad, or when I was stuck in a depressive hell for years. People reached out, and I just said "thanks, but I'm fine" because their time was obviously better spent elsewhere. I wasn't gonna die without their help, I didn't NEED need it. But it would have helped me, and I never felt like I deserved that.
My mom once said to me that I deserved a better kitchen table than the piece of crap my dad used as his computer desk for 10 years, that I took after he died. I told her I didn't need one; what did she mean, I deserve it? What had I done to warrant that? I couldn't really wrap my head around it.
It's still true today. I have some money, I could get decent furniture. I still have that old table sitting next to me right now, covered in a cheap tablecloth so you can't see all the dents and scratches. I just never feel like there's a point to buying it, if it's just for me. What have I done to deserve something nice and new?
At least I'm taking better care of my body. That's kind of the one thing I want to keep. Since I came out, I've been putting actual effort into my skin, my hair, how I dress. I want to sculpt this shitty meat sack until my mirror shows the woman I know I am. But for everything else, it's just hard. I want to improve, but it's so hard to get past those mental hurdles. It's so hard to convince my stupid brain that I can accept help, whether it's from a friend or even myself.
Something to work on.
so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation. the goal, for them, was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.
i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.
i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.
and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.
so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-deprivation that so many of us learned to rely on.
and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to
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andikiramman · 2 days ago
Text
your little girlfriend thinks i'm pretty
caitlyn x vi x maddie
word count: 5.7k
A/N: y'all i did it... but jsyk i started writing this before the finale so unfortunately this isn't the hate sex some of y'all were hoping for, but i mean if y'all really want it i wouldn't mind making it happen (◠‿◕)
MEN, MINORS, AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
Ever since Vi became an Enforcer, she knew that there’d be those that wouldn’t want her there. Entitled Pilties that think she’s leeching off the head of the Kiramman household for whatever stupid reason they came up with. Honestly, she was okay with that. She spent her entire life being judged and discriminated against by Topsiders; at this point, she really couldn’t give less of a fuck.
However, even she had her limits.
Vi barged into Caitlyn’s office (being the only one in the entire precinct with enough audacity to do so), kicking the door shut and plopping down in one of the chairs in front of Cait’s desk. She was visibly fuming, her arms crossed tightly in front of her as her leg bounced with agitation. 
Even though she wasn't looking at her directly, Vi knew Cait was watching her, waiting for her to justify her behavior.
“Cupcake, I’ve had it up to here with your little girlfriend, okay?!” Vi sneered.
Caitlyn rolled her eyes at that, sighing and dropping her pen onto the desk.
“Vi, how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling her that? Maddie is not my girlfriend, you are!”
“Then can you please remind her so she can leave me the fuck alone?!”
Cait went silent for a moment as she took in Vi’s words.
“What do you mean by that? Has she been giving you problems?”
Vi scoffed. “Uh, yeah! I swear, ever since you broke things off with her, she keeps… staring at me!”
Caitlyn raised an eyebrow. “Staring…?”
“Yes, staring!” Vi repeated. “I swear, it’s like she has some sort of problem with me, or something!”
“And since when did you care if someone had a problem with you?” Cait frowned.
Vi prepared to say something, but she just sighed, rubbing her temple.
“Look, typically I really wouldn’t give a shit– I wouldn’t have even come to you if it were anyone else but, you know…”
Vi gave Caitlyn a genuine look, and she finally understood.
“Alright, I���ll… I’ll speak to Maddie myself, okay? I’ll see what’s going on.”
Vi nodded silently, standing up to leave. “Thanks, Cupcake.”
“Oh, and Vi?” Caitlyn called just before she left.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
Vi smiled, her shoulders visibly relaxing. “I love you too, Cupcake.”
Feeling a sense of relief, Vi opened the door, only for a body to come tumbling down from the other side.
Vi jumped back, her fists instinctively came up to shield her face, ready for a fight.
“What the- Maddie?!”
The junior officer brushed herself off, grabbing the beret that fell off her head and fixing it back on. “Oh, Vi… top o’ the morning…”
Cait silently observed in confusion, but at this point, Vi was enraged.
“Do you see what I mean?!” she shouted. “Why the fuck is she here?!”
Before Cait could offer an answer, Vi was picking up Maddie by her collar, the smaller woman’s feet dangling in the air as she yelped.
“What’s your fuckin’ problem with me, Nolen?” Vi questioned aggressively. “What is it about me that’s bothering you so damn much, huh?!”
Maddie spluttered, struggling to find an answer as she fought to find some sort of footing. 
“I don’t… I–”
At this point, Caitlyn was growing increasingly frustrated that she was being inhibited from completing her paperwork, so she decided to put an end to the shitshow immediately.
“That’s enough!”
Vi and Maddie both froze, turning their attention to the Sheriff.
“Vi, please put Junior Officer Nolen down, now.”
The redhead did just so, setting Maddie down gently (though she felt more inclined to just drop her).
“Maddie, close my door.”
Maddie gulped, wordlessly turning and closing the door to Caitlyn’s office.
“Now,” the sheriff sighed, clasping her hands together, “from what I understand, there seems to be some sort of dispute between the two of you.”
Maddie furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t have any problem with–”
“Yeah fuckin’ right!” Vi interrupted with a scoff. “Ever since Cait dumped you you’ve been eyeing me like I got something that belongs to you!”
Maddie blinked a few times, her cheeks starting to redden in a blush.
“I… I have?”
Vi rolled her eyes. “Don’t give me that shit, Nolen. Every time I happen to glance your way, you’re staring right at me!”
Maddie averted her gaze as she began nervously playing with her fingers. “Oh…”
“Oh, so you’re not even gonna deny it?” Vi sneered, marching right up to Maddie and harshly grabbing her cheeks to turn her face back towards her. “What’s your fucking deal, Nolen?”
Maddie gasped, her blush spreading to the rest of her face. She gulped, seemingly steeling her resolve, before opening her mouth to speak.
“You’re pretty…”
A beat of silence.
“W-What…?”
Maddie took a deep breath in to cool herself down.
“I-I have to admit Vi… at first, I was kind of jealous of you. I guess at first, I really was glaring at you.”
Vi finally let go, taking a step back and raising her eyebrow. “But…?”
“But,” Maddie spoke again, fiddling with the edge of her shirt, “the more I watched you, the more I found myself becoming… attracted to you.”
Caitlyn was still eerily silent. She’d never imagined the scenario before her ever happening but she wasn’t going to complain about it, either. If she played her cards right…
“A-Attracted… to me?” Vi rasped out in shock. Her breathing became heavy, and she couldn’t tell whether it was from anger or anticipation.
Maddie nodded. “You… you’re very pretty, Vi. I never considered you to be my type but–” she turned to Caitlyn– “I see the appeal.”
Caitlyn said nothing as she looked between Maddie and Vi, letting her girlfriend attempt to handle this situation on her own.
After being paralyzed with shock, Vi finally let out a scoff, which turned into a chuckle. She stuck her hands in her pocket, slowly making her way over to Caitlyn’s chair.
“You hear that, Cupcake? Your little girlfriend thinks I’m pretty…”
Caitlyn side-eyed her, waiting for the redhead to continue.
“…So much so that she couldn’t keep her eyes off me for months. To top it all off, she even followed me to your office, for who knows why.”
Maddie gulped, keeping her eyes glued to the floor in front of her. She gasped when her chin was suddenly forced upwards, being met with Vi’s cloudy grey eyes.
“So now what, Nolen?” Vi muttered huskily. “You told us exactly how you feel, n’ you got us both right where you want us, so what now?”
Maddie’s breath quickened, her eyes dropping to Vi’s lips for a brief second before returning her gaze.
“I… I think this is something we could maybe talk about another time…?”
Before Vi could answer, Caitlyn stood, cutting the conversation short.
“You know what? Officer Nolen is right,” she announced. “Do keep in mind we are still on the clock.”
This time, Caitlyn allowed herself a slight smirk, turning her attention to Maddie.
“Maddie, why don’t you come pay us a visit tomorrow?” The taller woman offered. “I feel the relaxed environment would be more suitable for this sort of dilemma… how does that sound?”
Maddie, visibly stunned, stuttered for a moment, before finally finding a response.
“Uh… y-yeah, sure.”
🢝 🢝 🢝 🢝
“O-Oh fuck… Vi…”
The redhead simply hummed in response, her mouth occupied on Maddie’s neck. She alternated between kissing, biting, and sucking, anything to elicit those cute little sounds she’s been making since Vi got her hands on her. Vi’s hands in question were roaming Maddie’s body, shamelessly groping her ass as she pulled her ever closer.
The warmth building up within Maddie’s body was starting to grow unbearable, despite the slightly revealing spaghetti strap dress she currently had on (she had to admit, though she’d have no problems with simply coming over to talk, she prayed that her visit would lead to something a bit more… physical).
“Sure you don’t wanna join in, Cupcake?” Vi asked Caitlyn from the crook of Maddie’s neck. “I'm sure our little guest would enjoy her visit more if we both showed her a bit of hospitality…”
Oh my god, yes please! Maddie begged in her mind.
Caitlyn was currently seated on a chair efficiently placed in front of the bed, which happened to offer a splendid view of the two women making out on the mattress before her. She took a sip from the cup of tea she poured herself, humming at the sweet taste of organic raspberry leaf.
“I’m quite alright at the moment,” she respectfully declined, “I believe the two of you should spend some time working out your differences first. Though, I may feel more inclined to join a bit later on.”
Vi only shrugged before bringing her attention back to Maddie. She grabbed the smaller woman’s neck, pulling her in for a nasty kiss full of tongue. She swirled the muscle around Maddie’s own for a few seconds before pulling away, a string of saliva stretching out between their lips. 
“Why don’t you take this off for me, sweetheart?” Vi muttered as she tugged at Maddie’s dress.
Maddie nodded, wordlessly tugging her dress off of her body and tossing it to another part of the room. She nervously bit her lip when she noticed Vi’s teasing stare.
“Lace?” she questioned. “Oh, you really came here hoping to get fucked, huh?”
Maddie shrugged. “Guess there isn’t a point in denying it anymore, is there?”
The younger woman grabbed Vi’s face, pulling her in for another kiss as they fell back on the mattress. Vi growled into Maddie’s mouth, rough hands coming up to harshly palm at her breasts. A whimper turned into a gasp as black lace was torn apart, dusty pink nipples hardening as they were exposed to the cool air.
“Vi!”
Vi hummed as she kissed a trail down Maddie’s chest, the tip of her nose following the trail her lips left.
“Sorry, ‘m getting a bit impatient.”
Maddie let out a curse as she felt the wet warmth of Vi’s tongue envelop a nipple, her back arching off the bed as her legs wrapped around Vi’s waist.
“Fuck, so am I… just fuck me already…”
Vi scoffed, and Caitlyn simply offered an amused huff.
“Don’t think you can boss me around just ‘cause you’re getting what you want,” the muscled woman grumbled, punctuating her warning with a bite to Maddie’s breast.
Maddie yelped, her body flinching from the pain. Still, that didn’t stop her audacious behavior.
“What I want is for you to stop fucking talking so much and just eat me out or something!”
At that, Vi pulled away, sitting back on her heels as she glared at the ginger in front of her. Maddie, realizing she was a bit out of line, shrunk in on herself, her face turning a deep shade of red.
“P-Please…?”
Vi squared her jaw, before shaking her head and sighing. “Y’know, I see why Cait likes you so much,” she mused as she tugged Maddie’s black panties down her legs. She had half a mind to shove them into Maddie’s mouth, but ultimately decided against it. Instead, she grabbed Maddie’s thighs to pull her closer before holding her by the back of her knees to keep her legs spread open.
“It’ll be fun to get you off that damned high horse of yours.”
That was all that was said before Vi finally dove into her, her tongue tasting all that Maddie had to offer. She groaned as her tongue delved into Maddie’s hole, relishing in the sweet essence that was her arousal. And fuck, was there so much of it, the anticipation building up over the last two days keeping the woman soaked. Vi ate Maddie out like she was her last meal, her strong hands keeping Maddie’s legs firmly tucked against her chest.
Maddie, on the other hand, was absolutely losing her mind. She’s dreamed of this. Touched herself to the thought of this. Nothing, absolutely none of it, could’ve actually prepared her for the real thing. Vi was inexplicably good at giving head. Every time Vi decided to slip her tongue into her pussy, her nose nudged her clit, sending a hot jolt down her spine that had her thrusting her hips into Vi’s mouth. And when Vi decided to finally give attention to her aching clit— holy shit, it was like Maddie’s third eye opened, the pleasure alone had her feeling on top of the world. She kept one hand tangled in Vi’s hair and the other bunched in her own, sweet cries of pure bliss escaping her slacked jaw and spit-covered lips.
“Oh my– o-oh my god, fuck… Vi!”
Vi only responded with a whine of her own; she was clearly enjoying herself down there, eating Maddie simply for her own pleasure and nothing else.
Cait quietly watched the scene before her, one leg crossed over the other as she began pouring herself another cup of tea and adding a spoonful of sugar. Her scrutinizing blue eyes traced the curves of the women’s bodies, especially zeroing in on where Vi’s mouth moved diligently against Maddie’s core. It was as though she had front row seats to her own private show, everything on such clear display for her viewing pleasure. She couldn’t tell whether the warmth sizzling inside of her was from the tea or the two women making a mess on her bedsheets, but what she did know is that she’d feel the need to join them very soon. She pried her eyes away from the main event for just a moment to examine Maddie’s face. Her fucked out expression, her scrunched eyebrows, her eyes that were squeezed shut, the staccato breaths that left her lips… Maddie was going to cum, and very soon.
“Vi… Vi, please I’m so close… I’m, I– oh, ohfuck!”
Maddie clawed at the bedsheets as her orgasm rushed through her, her entire body quivering with the white-hot rush of ecstasy. Vi didn’t stop, though. She didn’t even slow down her ministrations against Maddie’s cunt. She ignored the sporadic twitching of her hips, Maddie’s whines from overstimulation, and even her unsuccessful attempts at closing her legs against Vi’s strong hands.
Maddie’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as both of her hands tangled themselves in Vi’s hair. Her back arched with each insistent swipe of Vi’s tongue.
“Oh my– Vi, shit… Vi, I already, mmph oh my fucking–”
Maddie went tumbling headfirst into another orgasm, this one knocking the wind out of her. Yet, Vi didn’t stop, nor did she show any signs of stopping. The stimulation was bordering on overbearing at this point, and Maddie turned her head to Caitlyn in hopes that she could talk Vi out from between her legs.
“Oh, I’m sorry dear,” Caitlyn apologized, despite the obvious lack of sympathy in her voice, “Vi’s enjoying herself so much that I don’t believe she plans on stopping anytime soon.”
And Caitlyn could not have been more right in that moment. One, two, three orgasms later, and Vi was still devouring Maddie from the inside out. At this point, Maddie was barely present, her entire body going slack on the bed. Her eyes couldn’t even focus, and all she could muster at this point were pitiful whimpers.
“No…” she whined weakly. “Vi…”
Caitlyn let out an amused hum, grabbing her teapot in hopes to pour another cup of tea, only to find that it was completely empty. She tsked in annoyance, finally standing from her seat.
“Vi, be nice.”
At the sound of Cait’s authoritative voice, Vi finally lifted herself up from between Maddie’s legs.
“Just look at the poor thing,” Cait mumbled, “I fear you may have broken her.”
Vi put Maddie’s legs down, and the ginger woman immediately took the chance to squeeze them shut, whimpering a small fuck as she did so.
“‘S not my fault,” Vi grunted, “she was getting arrogant.”
“Oh yeah?” Cait challenged as she began stripping down herself, until she was left in just a camisole and panties. Her pebbled nipples poked through the sheer fabric, and Vi couldn’t help but lick her lips at the sight. Her eyes moved down, taking in the entirety of Cait’s lithe figure: her long legs, her gentle curves, and a face with looks that could kill.
Damn, how did she manage to get so lucky?
It was seductive, the way Caitlyn’s hips rocked as she stalked over to Vi. She cradled her girlfriend’s cheek before going in for a kiss, sweet yet deep and full of passion. Once they pulled away, Cait bit her lip, looking Vi’s up and down.
“Go get the strap, love,” she commanded softly.
At that request, Vi’s cheeks reddened in a blush. “You’re gonna let me…?”
Cair raised an eyebrow at Vi’s implication. “I believe you’re mistaken, dear. I plan on folding you up just like you had our friend here,” she clarified with a motion towards Maddie, who was laying with an arm slung over her eyes.
“Now hurry up and go get it,” Cait reiterated. “I’m feeling a bit… energized. In the meantime, I’ll make sure she’s comfortable.”
Vi nodded rapidly as she stuttered out an affirmative. She was quick to scurry off the bed, going into their large walk-in closet in search of the toy and harness.
In the meantime, Cait made her way over to Maddie, signaling her presence with a soft brush of her hand.
“You okay, honey?” she hummed.
Maddie groaned, her arm falling away from her face.
“Vi is fucking insane…”
Caitlyn chuckled. “Vi’s a munch,” she corrected. “You were doomed from the second you told her to eat you out. Go on and get comfortable on the pillows, you can rejoin when you’re ready.”
With a grunt, Maddie moved herself up to settle on the mountain of pillows. Today was going to be a long day…
Vi came back just seconds later, the jet black toy in one hand, a harness and bottle of lube in the other.
“Good girl,” Caitlyn praised, taking the items from Vi and pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. “I want you on your back.”
“Yes ma’am,” Vi replied, finding her place on the bed and resting back on her elbows. She could feel Maddie’s eyes on her, probably admiring her physique. She ignored her, instead focusing on Cait tightening the harness on her hips and strapping up.
When Cait finally turned her attention to her, Vi’s throat immediately went dry. The sight of the strap-on sitting perfectly on her hips had her body firing up from the inside out. Cait mounted the bed, crawling towards Vi until she was in between her spread legs.
“You’re so beautiful like this,” Caitlyn muttered sensually, “all ready for me…”
Vi swallowed the lump in her throat, but all that came out was a strained whimper. Cait grabbed Vi’s calves and placed them on her shoulders, leaning in closer until their bodies were flush against each other. Vi let out a gasp as she felt the tip of the dildo run through her folds, and Cait hummed in response.
“Fuck, you’re so wet, Vi… Maddie’s got you all riled up, doesn’t she?”
Vi’s ears blushed a deep shade of red, and she turned away from Cait’s lingering stare. Cait bit her lip at Vi’s sudden shyness, deciding to tease her by grinding her hips forward. Vi squeezed her eyes shut, her mouth falling open at the toy catching against her clit.
“Fuck… Cait, please…”
Caitlyn smirked. “Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.”
Cait pushed her hips forward again, and this time the dildo went inside, stretching Vi out with each inch that gradually slipped into her.
“H-Holy shit, Cupcake,” Vi whimpered once it was all the way in. The position Cait had her in had the dildo reaching so fucking deep, it was like she could feel it in her stomach.
Caitlyn slowly pulled back a few inches, before snapping her hips forward again. Vi cried out in response, rough hands coming up to grab Cait’s shoulders.
“Please! Holy fuck, Cait, I need you to fuck me please!” she whined in desperation.
Caitlyn chuckled. “Gods, I love when you beg for me, Vi…”
Cait decided to give Vi exactly what she wanted, setting a brutal pace with the strap and being sure to bury herself to the hilt each time. She knew she was fucking Vi good, too, the redhead’s eyes glazing over as sweet whimpers and gasps escaped her lips. Fuck, what Cait would give to be able to feel Vi’s pussy in this moment. She’d stay here forever, just buried in Vi’s warmth.
“Fuck, you’re taking me so damn good, Vi,” Cait growled huskily as she roughly grabbed Vi’s face. Vi’s eyes finally focused (barely), and she keened at the sight of Cait above her.
“Mmh, shit, Cait you’re– oh fuck– you’re in my stomach,” Vi slurred in between loud moans.
“Is that right?” Cait teased. “This pussy can get so fuckin’ deep, huh?”
Vi nodded rapidly. “Mmh, yeah…”
Meanwhile, Maddie watched the scene before her like a hawk. Vi and Caitlyn… it was so rough, yet so intimate. She never thought Vi would be the type to beg, nor be the one to let someone pin her down and strap her the way she was, but since it was Caitlyn, she guessed that anything was possible. She had to admit, even though she wasn’t currently included, the two of them fucking like this was so hot. She swallowed, bringing a hand down to rub light circles against her clit. Her hips twitched; she was still a bit sensitive, but growing more aroused the longer she observed the couple in front of her. She used her other hand to pinch a nipple, rolling the rosy bud between her fingers at the same time. She let out a soft whine, the light pleasure she was giving herself had her rolling her hips against her hand. Shit, I wanna get fucked like that…
“Open your fucking mouth,” Caitlyn growled, and Vi did just so, allowing the taller woman to spit onto her tongue. Vi swallowed, opening her mouth again to show off her obedience.
“Good girl,” Cait muttered, leaning down to rest her forehead against Vi’s as she fucked her harder and faster.
“Ooh– oh Cait, Cait, Cait, fuck!”
Caitlyn groaned, her warm breath fanning Vi’s lips, not daring to stop her brutal pace for even for a second. 
“A-Ah, Caaaait, Cait, I’m so close, I’m gonna cum, fuck!” Vi screamed. Just seconds later, she was cumming, her strong legs locking Caitlyn in place as the rest of her body shivered violently with her release. After a few moments, Cait finally slowed down, leaning back and letting Vi’s legs drop to the bed below her.
“Fuck, you did such a good job,” Cait praised, pulling out of Vi to reveal the slicked up toy, drenched in Vi’s arousal. “You took me so well.”
Vi sniffled as she came down from her high. “T-Thank you…”
Caitlyn smiled down at her, so genuine and loving, before turning her attention to Maddie.
“You. Come here.”
Maddie, taken aback at the sudden shift, was stuck in place for a moment. The way Caitlyn watched her, one hand on her breast, the other in between her legs, she suddenly felt so… exposed.
“I don’t have all day, you know.”
At that, Maddie scrambled forward, until she was face to face with the Sheriff herself. Caitlyn grabbed her, kissing her in a similar fashion to the way Vi did earlier. It was nasty, sloppy, and full of tongue. To top it all off, Caitlyn started sucking on Maddie’s tongue, making the younger woman shiver with arousal. Before she could get too comfortable, however, Caitlyn pulled away. This time, she grabbed her roughly, positioning Maddie on her hands and knees right on top of Vi. Maddie gasped, now right in between the two, her heart was pounding at a mile a minute. She felt hands on her waist, which caused her to jump a little, before hearing snickering coming from below her.
“What’s wrong? You’re so jittery all of a sudden,” Vi teased. “Isn’t this what you wanted, Mads? Both of us…?”
Maddie gulped, letting Vi wrap her hand around her neck and pull her down for a kiss. It was slow, sensual, missing all the roughness from earlier. She could feel Caitlyn touching her, her slender fingers dipping in between her legs and inside of her. Maddie moaned against Vi’s lips, rocking her hips in tandem with Cait’s fingers. Vi’s free hand was aimlessly roaming her body, feeling the goosebumps along her back, the dip of her waist, and the swell of her ass. She could easily get lost in this letting the two women touch and play with her body however they pleased.
Then, she felt Caitlyn’s fingers leave her, only to be replaced by something much thicker. She gasped, turning around to look at Cait.
“Caitlyn…”
“I know how you are, Maddie,” Cait warned. “Don’t bother trying to run.”
With that, Caitlyn slowly pushed in, stretching Maddie out on the toy. Though it was well lubricated with Vi’s own release, it was still a tight fit.
“Oh my god!” Maddie cried. “Caitlyn, that’s too big!”
She tried lifting her hips forward to alleviate the pressure, but Vi was quick to stop her, using her strength to keep her in place.
“Didn’t she just say not to run?” Vi muttered. “Gonna disobey the sheriff?”
Before Maddie could muster a reply, Caitlyn was pushing forward again, gripping Maddie’s hips tightly to make sure she didn’t try moving. Maddie’s jaw dropped, eyes rolling to the back of her head as she was stretched to the limit. Her head was spinning; the toy was hitting every spot inside of her. When Cait finally bottomed out, Maddie felt a shiver run up her spine, tears welling in the corners of her eyes from the stretch.
“Aw, don’t cry,” Vi taunted. “You’re taking it so well, Mads.”
Maddie whined, sharp nails digging into Vi’s broad shoulders as Caitlyn started a slow pace, sheathing herself completely with each deep thrust. Maddie couldn’t help but try to pull away each time the tip kissed her cervix, but Caitlyn made sure to keep her in place so she wouldn’t go too far.
“Fuck,” Caitlyn groaned from behind her. She could see everything from her angle: Maddie’s walls fluttering around her cock as she tried to accommodate the size, strings of Maddie’s arousal stretching out between her pussy and Cait’s hips each time she pulled out, Vi tangling a hand in Maddie’s hair as the pair in front of her sloppily made out, one of Maddie’s own hands slipping between Vi’s legs to play with her clit; the straps of the harness rubbing oh so well against her clit wasn’t making her situation any better. Shit, if she didn’t make Maddie cum before she did, she wouldn’t be able to fuck her the way she’d liked.
Caitlyn quickened her pace, fucking Maddie with short and deep thrusts that had the sound of skin slapping together echoing throughout the room. Her nails dug into Maddie’s waist, pulling the woman’s hips back to meet her with each push forward.
Maddie pulled away from Vi’s lips to look back at Cait.
“Fuck… Caitlyn you’re so deep…”
“Takin’ her like a fuckin’ champ,” Vi replied before Cait could, grabbing Maddie’s hair and pulling her back to her lips.
Caitlyn huffed, breaking her gaze away from the two women to focus on the strap fucking into Maddie. She was dripping onto the sheets at this point, and the dildo had a white ring around it.
“Damn it,” she grunted under her breath. She slowed her pace down, giving herself a chance to come down before she reached her peak too soon. 
Maddie whined against Vi’s lips, pushing her hips back as a wordless plea for more. Cait smacked her ass in reply, causing the ginger to yelp.
“You really are an impatient one, aren’t you?” Cait grumbled. “If you want to finish this prematurely, just say the word. I can grant you that request.”
Vi chuckled, pulling Maddie away from their kiss.
“Aw, you’re being so hard on her, Cupcake.” Vi grinned as she took in Maddie’s expression, heavy with unabashed desire, lips wet and bruised from their harsh kissing. “You’re fucking her so good, and she just wants more, isn’t that right, Mads?”
Maddie nodded, a strained sigh escaping her lips.
“Mmh, I can give you that… say aah…”
Vi slipped two fingers deep into Maddie’s mouth, biting her lip when she gagged on them. Vi didn’t leave them in there for long, pulling her fingers out and smirking when a string of saliva stretched out from her lips. Then, she slipped her hand down Maddie’s back and right in between her ass cheeks, using one of her fingers to circle the place Maddie’s never been touched before. Maddie gasped into the crook of Vi’s neck, whimpering as the redhead’s finger continued rimming her ass.
“Yeah, you like that, huh?” Vi smirked. “Wonder if you’d even let me put it inside…?”
It was only a taunt, a teasing suggestion, but the way Maddie reacted to the possibility of having a finger in her ass turned it into a reality.
“Please,” she begged. “P-Put it in, Vi, please!”
Vi scoffed. “You’re something else, you know that, Nolen?”
Cait leaned forward just a bit, letting a dribble of spit fall right onto Maddie’s pucker. Vi teasingly pressed her middle finger against her, until Maddie pushed her hips back once more, showing that she really did want this.
Vi didn’t make her wait any longer, slowly pushing her middle finger into Maddie’s ass, right down to the knuckle. Maddie keened, her nails digging into Vi’s shoulders. At the same time, Cait gradually picked up her pace, fucking her pussy while Vi fingerfucked her ass.
Fuck, Maddie was on Cloud 9 right now. She couldn’t even think straight, the dual stimulation making her absolutely melt from pleasure. She was letting out incoherent babbles into Vi’s shoulder, completely unable to form full sentences. Suddenly, she felt a harsh hand tangle in her hair, and she was being pulled upwards. She had to hold herself up with her own hands, whimpering at the stinging sensation on her scalp. It was Cait’s hand, using her grip on Maddie’s hair to fuck her harder, deeper.
“I can’t believe one of my own subordinates turned out to be such a slut,” she huffed. “Letting Vi stick her finger in your ass? Needing both of us to satisfy you? You’re just insatiable, aren’t you?”
Maddie couldn’t even reply, each thrust of Cait’s dick and Vi’s finger knocking the wind out of her.
“Just look at her, Cupcake, she’s fucking addicted,” Vi added, “won’t be surprised if she starts following us around like some lost puppy.”
Maddie should’ve felt insulted, she really should’ve… but the couple was right. Her tryst with Caitlyn was quite enjoyable while it lasted, but having both of them… ‘fucking amazing’ couldn’t even begin to describe it.
Vi’s free hand snaked between Maddie’s legs to play with her clit, and it was over for her.
“Haa… I-I’m gonna cum!”
Maddie’s orgasm was powerful, so much so that she ended up squirting and soaking the bed sheets (and Vi) with her release. She trembled violently, wave after wave of aftershocks had her body pulsating. Caitlyn let go of her hair, and Maddie slumped against Vi’s chest, eyes squeezed shut as she attempted to catch her breath. Vi slipped her finger out, using both hands to massage Maddie’s waist.
Caitlyn, however, was not finished. After staving off her own orgasm for so long, she was right at the edge of release. She leaned over Maddie, grinding against her ass despite her weak whines of protest.
“Just take it Mads,” Vi shushed, “Let her cum first, she’s almost there.”
Maddie started to sob from overstimulation, one of her hands reaching back to grasp onto Caitlyn’s leg. Cait ignored her, squeezing her eyes shut as she only focused on getting herself over the edge. Her hips stuttered the closer she got, and she lost her rhythm, but soon she was groaning with bliss, her orgasm washing over her. She fucked herself through her orgasm until she physically couldn’t take it anymore, and she pulled the dildo out of Maddie with a slick ‘pop!’
Maddie slumped forward, dropping her hips to rest her entire weight on Vi. Caitlyn, on the other hand, slumped onto the mattress, silently catching her breath. 
“Well, that was fun…” Vi finally spoke after a while.
Caitlyn hummed, her lips forming into a tired smile. “Certainly…”
“What about you, Mads?” Vi asked the woman on her chest, only to be met with silence.
“Maddie…?”
Nothing but soft snores left Maddie’s lips, and Vi let out a soft chuckle. 
“Well, what do you know, we fucked her right to sleep.”
Caitlyn lifted herself up onto her elbow, resting her head in her hand. “I’m glad she enjoyed herself.”
Very gently, Vi turned to lay Maddie on the bed, before standing up. She put a hand out to Cat, who took it to stand as well. She helped Caitlyn take off the strap-on, even though she could very well remove it on her own.
“Let’s get cleaned up.”
As their legs were still feeling the effects of their long fuck session, even the short walk to the bathroom had the couple walking funny.
“To be honest, I’m glad we did this,” Vi said as she turned on the warm water. “But y’know… really is a shame I didn’t get to eat you out myself…”
Cait was silent for a moment, her heart beating loudly in her chest at the flagrant suggestion. With a sigh, she poked her head out of the bathroom door, noting that Maddie was still fast asleep, before shutting the two of them in.
“Make sure you don’t wake her up,” Cait muttered, as Vi was already descending to her knees.
“Well, that’s all up to you, now isn’t it?”
okay so what did y'all think...? was it bonita?
187 notes · View notes
corroded-hellfire · 3 days ago
Text
Food, Football, and Friends - Eddie Munson x Reader
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An As You Wish story
Summary: With so many people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner, it's no surprise things get a little chaotic.
Note: Happy Thanksgiving!
Warnings: chaos that is typical of this family, Eddie's breeding kink doesn't take a holiday off, Dustin is married to someone that is not Suzy sorry
Words: 3.7k
[As You Wish masterlist]
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Not bothering to knock, Steve opens the front door to the Munson household and pops his head inside.
“This looks like a nice house,” he says as he pushes the door all the way open. “Might be able to steal something nice.”
A huff comes from behind him and Mia pushes in the house past her father. The six-year-old scowls as she leans down to unbuckle her shiny Mary Janes.
“We’re not thieves!” Her voice carries throughout the house, summoning the little person who has been waiting all day to see her.
“Miaaaaaa!” Eliza’s heavy tread thumps down the hallway as she runs into the living room at full speed. The friction of her white tights against the carpet halts her when she reaches her destination. 
Before Mia can answer, Steve crouches down in front of the youngest Munson. He frowns and tilts his head, a few chestnut locks falling in his eyes.
“What about me? Am I chop liver?” 
Your toddler giggles and leaps into her uncle’s arms. She wraps her arms around his neck for a hug, but before she can pull away, Steve stands up, hoisting her over his shoulder in an attempt to keep her from her best friend.
“Noooo!” Eliza whines, her little legs kicking. 
“Oh, fine,” Steve sighs as he lets her down.
Eliza straightens her black and white dress before looking up to see Wayne walk in the door right behind Nancy.
“Grandpa!”
“There’s my girl!”
Wayne scoops her up and peppers kisses all over her face. The small girl giggles and tries to push his face away, his scruff tickling her.
“Where’s Daddy?” Wayne asks.
“Dunno,” Eliza answers with a shrug.
“He’s outside,” Luke says as he strolls into the room.
Nancy can’t help but notice how her youngest’s face lights up when the twelve-year-old Munson walks into the room. She clamps her lips together, trying not to giggle at Mia’s adorable crush on Luke, acting like she doesn’t notice the hearts in the young redhead’s eyes.
“Should we lock him out?” Steve asks about your husband.
Wayne sighs. “Eh, he’s scrappy, he’ll find a way back in,” he says as he sets Eliza back down. 
The moment her feet hit the ground, the toddler runs over to Mia and throws her arms around the girl’s sparkly silver dress. Concentration on Luke broken, Mia laughs and falls to the ground with Eliza, giving her a hug in return. 
“Yeah,” Steve says as he watches the girls. “I think the little munchkin would let him in.” He nods towards Eliza.
“She can’t reach the door,” Danny points out to his dad.
“Eliza finds a way to do anything,” Luke says, his tone conveying all the experience he’s had in that regard.
Before anyone else can add to the conversation, the sound of clinking and clanging pots and pans rings out from the kitchen. Automatically, everyone's heads turn in that direction. 
“Shit!” Your voice echoes out into the living room.
Immediately, Nancy brushes past her husband, patting him on the chest as she goes by.
“Play nice,” she tells him as she continues into the kitchen. The sight before Nancy has her biting her lip to keep in a grin for the second time in a matter of minutes. There you stand, holding a pot lid in one hand, holding the top of your head in the other. Your friend cocks an eyebrow at you. “Everything okay in here?”
Lamely, you raise the pot lid and give her a small wave with it.
“Gave myself a concussion looking for this so the mashed potatoes better taste damn near perfect.”
“I’m sure they will,” Nancy assures you, coming closer to take the lid out of your hand. She gently sets it on the pot simmering on the stove and turns back to you. “Anything I can do to help?”
Steve’s voice booms out from the living room before you can respond.
“You’re on, Munson!”
Eyes rolling skyward, you heave a sigh and shake your head.
“Keep our husbands from injuring themselves before dinner?” you ask.
“I’m afraid not.” Nancy winces. It’s an impossible task, you both know that.
As you open the refrigerator to grab the milk, Luke runs into the room–never one for just walking–with a grin on his face. 
“We’re going to play football!” he announces.
You raise an eyebrow as you measure out the cup of milk to add to the mashed potatoes.
“Who exactly is ‘we?” you ask.
“Me, Ryan, Theo, Danny, Uncle Steve, Grandpa, Daddy…and uh, maybe Natalie.”
The mention of your husband has you turning to give your son your full attention, letting the measuring glass of milk clank down on the counter.
“Your father is going to play football?”
“He’s gonna try,” Luke says with a mischievous snicker. You completely agree with your sports-loving son’s disbelieving and amused tone. You’re not even sure Eddie knows what the different positions in football are called.
“Is that what he and Steve were bickering about?” Nancy crosses her arms over her chest and rests her hip against the edge of the kitchen table.
“Yeah,” he affirms. “Mia is gonna stay in the living room with Liza.”
“Luke, come on!” Theo calls out.
“My daughter is a little mother hen,” Nancy says with a smile as Luke runs out to join his new team. Mia may be the youngest sibling in her family, but that means she takes the responsibility of having a toddler best friend very seriously. 
Noise clatters from your backyard and you take a few steps to look out the large window over the kitchen sink. Through it, you can see Steve and Eddie standing next to each other, pointing at the mass of children that are in front of them—all of them except Ryan and Natalie.
“Come on, it will be fun,” Ryan says from the next room just as you’re wondering about him.
The unmistakable sigh of a teenage girl is heard before Natalie agrees, “Fine.”
Their footsteps fade out the door and Nancy raises her brow at you.
“I’m impressed,” she says. “No one can get Natalie to do anything anymore.”
“Hormones?” you ask, turning back to the stove as some boiled water sloshes over the side of a pot. The steam hisses and floats off into the air.
“Oh, yeah. Having a teenage daughter is great.”
“Oof, I do not miss being a teenager,” you say.
“What, you stopped, like, last year?” 
You spin around to see Nancy smirking at you, and you whip your kitchen towel at her in an attempt to wipe the shit eating grin off her face. She laughs and swats the rag away, affectionately wrapping an arm around your waist as she comes to stand beside you.
“Come on, now let me help you,” she chides.
“Fine,” you relent. “Want to chop those carrots?”
“No problem.”
Loud footfalls stampede towards the kitchen, but they’re not quite as heavy as Eliza’s usually are, so you’re not surprised when Mia comes racing into the kitchen. One of these times these running children are going to hurt themselves.
“Auntieeee?” she asks you as she comes to a stop.
“Miaaaaaa?”
“Eliza is hungry,” she tells you. “Can I get her a snack?”
“Sure thing, cutie.” You wipe your hands off on the towel and walk over to the pantry. The Cheerio box is right at eyelevel as you reach for it and hand it to Mia. “Just make sure she doesn’t eat too many, okay?”
“Okay!” she calls over her shoulder as she runs out with the box.
Just as you’re about to reach for a knife, the doorbell rings. You head out to the living room, smiling when you see Eliza and Mia sitting in front of the television, sharing Cheerios and watching the rerun of the Thanksgiving Day Parade. The big Snoopy balloon passes by as you grab the doorknob. There stand Lucas and Max with their daughter Tiffany, and Dustin with his wife Anne and their baby girl, Molly. The moment she sees you, Tiffany launches herself forward with a squeal. She wraps her arms around your hips and hugs herself against your body.
“Well, hello there,” you greet her. To allow everyone else into the house, you pick up the six-year-old and take a few steps back from the door. “You wanna join Eliza and Mia?” When she nods, you let Tiffany down to go join the other girls.
The moment your arms are free, you’re being pulled into more hugs with everyone and wishes for a happy Thanksgiving. Last but not least, you pluck Molly from her mother’s arms and give her a big kiss on the cheek.
“I can’t believe how big she is!” you coo. Now well over a year old, the last time you saw the youngest Henderson was when she was nine months. 
Dustin grabs her walker from the car, since she’s still new to the whole walking thing and not the steadiest. He sets it down in the living room and you plop her down in the Minnie Mouse themed rover. She instantly takes off in the direction of the television, as if knowing she wants to be a part of this little girl gang.
“Eliza?” you call. “Do you want to come say hi?”
It takes her a second, but finally, Eliza finishes the Cheerio that’s in her hand and pushes herself up on to her feet. She toddles over, smiling when she sees her Aunt Max—who is arguably her favorite person who is not a Munson or Harrington. Her aunt gives her a big hug. Then, Eliza stops in front of Dustin. Saying nothing, she just stares up at him, her big brown eyes blinking a few times.
“Hi, Eliza!” When your daughter doesn’t answer, Dustin kneels down to be at her level. “Remember me? Uncle Dustin?”
She just keeps staring.
Lucas laughs at the little girl’s nonreaction and snatches her up into his own arms. “Mwah!” he presses a kiss to her cheek. Instantly, Eliza grins and wraps her arms around his neck for a hug.
Dustin pouts up at the scene before him, lower lip jutting out dramatically as he stands back up.
“Hey! I’m the cool uncle!” he protests. And it’s true; if the other kids were in the house right now, they’d all be climbing over Dustin until the poor man gets lost in a sea of children.
“Guess not anymore,” Lucas says with a shrug.
“It’s gotta be because I live further away,” Dustin argues. “She sees me less.”
“Sure,” Lucas says, his tone far from sincere.
Max rolls her eyes at the two men’s bickering, presumably tired of it after hearing it for almost a decade and a half. The redhead takes Eliza from her husband’s arms and turns to face Dustin’s wife.
“These stilly boys,” Max says to Eliza. “Say hi to your Aunt Anne?”
Your daughter gives a small wave, but it’s clear from the blank look on her face that she just wants to be put down to go back to Mia. Sensing this as well, Max grants her wish.
“Where’s Ed?” Dustin asks.
“In the backyard,” you say. “Playing football.”
“Football?” Dustin almost chokes on his own spit out of shock.
“I know,” you say.
“I have to see this,” Lucas says, looking towards the back door and rubbing his hands together in anticipation. 
He and Dustin go to join the game in the backyard while Max and Anne follow you into the kitchen. Nancy greets the new arrivals while you take up your previous position at the stove. As you lift the lid off the pot on the back burner, you listen to the women behind you talking and laughing. It brings a smile to your face to be surrounded by women friends. Besides a two-year-old, the only others in the house are guys. And as much as you love them, it’s not the same as having other ladies around.
Two sets of running feet zoom past the kitchen and the sound of the squeaky hinges on the backdoor let you know the two six-year-olds have gone to join the fun outside. You peek back out the window and chuckle to yourself when you see Mia and Tiffany cheering on the sidelines. Unsurprisingly, they seem to be cheering for the team that Luke is on. Mia’s idea, no doubt.
There are only a few more potatoes to add to the pot in front of you, so once those are in you go out into the living room to check on the younger girls. A gasp strangles out of you when you first see the two. Then as your brain has a moment to adjust and see that everything is okay, you break out into laughter.
“What did you do, little girl?” you ask your daughter. You shake your head in amusement as you walk over to the two of them, both covered in Cheerios that are also scattered around the living room floor.
Eliza grins up at you, small pieces of Cheerios still sticking to her baby teeth.
“Molly hungry!” she tells you.
“Oh, okay,” you say with a nod. “So, you thought to give her a snack like Mia did for you?”
“Mhmm!” She sounds quite proud of herself, and it makes your heart melt.
“Well, that was very thoughtful of you.”
Laughter erupts from behind you, and you look over your shoulder to see Max walking into the room. She takes in the mess before her and looks between the two babies.
“What’re you troublemakers doing?” she asks as she comes up beside you. 
A timer in the kitchen drags your attention away from the conversation and Max waves you on in that direction.
“Go ahead, take care of that. I’ll clean this up, then take these two outside. They can be the referees.”
“Thank you.” You give Max’s shoulder an appreciative squeeze as you walk past her.
Back in the kitchen, you turn off the timer and pull the green bean casserole out of the oven. 
Cheers ring in from the backyard, bringing a smile to your face. Anne steps up to look out the window at everyone.
“I think I’m going to go make sure no one is doing anything stupid,” she says.
“Nurse is never off duty, huh?” Nancy asks with a smile.
When Anne steps out of the room, you turn to Nancy and raise an eyebrow. 
“She wants to make sure no one is doing anything stupid?” you ask. “She clearly doesn’t know that is most of what our husbands do.”
Nancy laughs and nods her head in agreement.
“We should keep her here as an on-call nurse.”
“She’d be busier here than in the ER,” you joke. 
You and Nancy work silently side by side for a little while, before Nancy notices you starting to buzz around the kitchen more, a hectic mood settling over you. She licks over her lips before looking in your direction.
“Is something burning?” she asks.
“What?”
You whip your head around to stare at her before looking at the stove. 
“Smell it?” she asks, grabbing a paper towel to wipe her hands off on.
You take a few deep inhales, and a frown pinches your face.
“No,” you admit.
“That’s because there’s nothing burning,” Nancy says, taking a few steps closer to you. She rests her hands on your shoulders and looks you in the eye. “But it got you to take some deep breaths. Take a few more, okay?”
Catching on to her scheme, you narrow your eyes at her as you do indeed take a few more deep breaths.
“You’re sneaky,” you tell her.
“I have to be with four kids,” she replies. 
It’s not long before the game outside comes to an end and people start coming back into the house in waves. Eddie finally comes in and your heart stutters in your chest when you see him. His face is flushed from the exertion, his breathing a little labored for the same reason. His hair is frizzier than usual and when he comes closer to you, you can feel the chill coming off of him. It’s only confirmed when you put your hands on his cheeks and feel how cool they are to the touch. His smile makes you dizzy, not even registering how cold his lips are against yours when he leans in for a kiss.
“Everything smells good,” he mumbles against your mouth.
“Did you win?” you ask, reluctantly going to check on the turkey.
His sigh tells you the answer before his words do.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he grumbles.
Both you and Nancy share a chuckle as he sulks out of the room. Ryan pops in right after, going over to the sink to wash his hands. His face is flushed like his father’s, but his hair is faring far better. Wayne, Theo, and Danny come in behind your son and Wayne goes into the fridge to grab water bottles for all the boys.
“Can I help?” Ryan asks you as he dries his hands.
“Of course, sweetheart.” You press a kiss to his head as you slip by him to grab the salt. “Do you want to get started on the stuffing?”
“Sure.”
Danny wrinkles up his nose as he takes a sip of his water.
“Cooking is for girls,” the eight-year-old declares.
“Danny!” Nancy immediately snaps. 
“Hey,” Wayne says, nudging the boy on the shoulder. “I was a cook in the army. That don’t sound girly, does it?”
Danny shakes his head, looking cowed.
“No,” he says softly.
“What do you say?” Nancy asks.
“I’m sorry.”
Ryan ruffles the boy’s hair before pretending to spill the bowl of breadcrumbs he’s carrying all over him. Danny laughs and runs away before Ryan can actually make a mess of him.
“Hey, all available squirts!” Eddie calls from the next room.
“I’m not available,” Ryan mumbles, obviously not keen on whatever his father has planned.
Luke trails into the kitchen and looks around, confused like he hasn’t lived there for years.
“Uh, I’m supposed to set the table. Where’s the stuffs?” he asks.
“By yourself?” you ask, showing him where you already have the cookery and cutlery out and ready to go.
“Nope.” 
Luke lets out a small chuckle but before you can ask what’s so funny, Mia follows in behind him. It’s clear she volunteered to be your son’s assistant.
“I’m here to help!” she announces. 
Carefully, you load up both kids with as much as you think they’re able to handle. Luckily, a parade of other small humans comes in to finish the job.
“Quite the operation you’ve got going here,” you say to your husband as you step into the dining room. “Putting the kids to work.”
“They’re my elves,” he says with a shrug. 
You giggle and press a kiss to his cheek before walking back into the kitchen.
Ryan and Natalie amble in, neither looking too happy. Eddie doesn’t ask why; he knows they’ll tell him.
“I don’t want to sit at the kids’ table,” Ryan whines. For a fourteen-year-old, Eddie thinks Ryan gripes more than his literal baby sister.
Natalie looks at the adult table, then at the kids’ table. There are nine chairs seated at each and she’s clearly trying to figure out how two can be added to the larger table.
“Me neither,” she says while mentally calculating. 
Lucas steps into the room behind the teens and Eddie sees a great opportunity. 
“Okay, you guys can sit with us,” he tells them. “As long as you contribute to the conversation.”
“Really?” Natalie asks, instantly perking up. It amazes Eddie how quickly she goes from looking like Wednesday Addams to Pippi Longstocking.
“Yeah,” Eddie says. He looks over at his former Hellfire Club member and nods at him. “By the way Lucas, did you see that the DOW is down three points today?”
Lucas doesn’t miss a beat.
“Huh,” he muses. “You know, I was just talking to my broker about that over a rousing game of golf. He suggested I take another look at my portfolio.”
“Ugh fine, we’ll sit at the kids’ table,” Ryan groans.
The two of them slink off to the other side of the room as Eddie and Lucas share a quiet laugh.
“Don’t even know if I got all the terms right,” Lucas admits.
Eddie, Ryan, Nancy, and Max all help you take the food out to the table—well, tables. Eliza watches it all as Wayne settles her in her highchair at the kids’ table. She’s practically salivating as her chocolate eyes move from dish to dish. Even Mia taking the seat between her and Luke doesn’t take her attention from her dinner. 
Annie settles Molly into her own highchair—Eliza’s old one that she outgrew. When Eddie had gotten it out of the garage both of you got a little misty-eyed that your daughter is getting so big.
The turkey is placed at the head of the table, right in front of Eddie’s seat. He picks up the large carving knife and Luke over-dramatically gasps from his place at the kids’ table. You finish scooping some mashed potatoes onto Eliza’s plate and playfully tug on one of Luke’s curls.
Eddie glances up from time to time, watching as you make sure each kid has a little bit of everything on the plate in front of them. 
“You’re gonna lose a finger, boy,” Wayne warns. The older man smiles though, at the way his nephew looks at his wife. 
Eddie sets the knife down and discreetly pops the wishbone out of the bird. If he doesn’t set it aside now all the kids will be arguing over it and Eddie isn’t sure there’s enough wine in the house to deal with that. This way, Eddie can show the kids the carved-up turkey and point to where the wishbone “should be” and shrug, telling them they’re out of luck. He looks forward to using it with you after the kids go to bed. 
You giggle as Molly reaches up and puts a dab of cranberry sauce on your nose. Eddie grins as he watches you. He had thought that seeing you with a baby wouldn’t hit him in quite the same way after Eliza was born, but it hasn’t quelled the yearning. 
Taking advantage of the kids grabbing the rolls in a frenzy, he slips the wishbone into his pocket. He already knows what his wish will be.
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headspace-hotel · 2 days ago
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In the past on this blog i've made so many political posts that were basically just me reasoning through something in my head by writing about it, and they ranged from "poorly articulated, I guess" to "apparently ignorant enough to be straight up offensive."
In hindsight it seems obvious that it was a bad idea to post basically rambling diary entries about contentious topics, especially in a tone that invited audience engagement.
But for years I was like. totally jaded to the concept that any opinion or thought of mine was inappropriate or unwelcome for the internet, because back when I had just a few thousand followers, people would send me shit like "the world would be better if you were dead" no matter what I talked about or how I talked about it.
so it's like woops sorry i promise i don't actually think i'm the smartest and most important person ever. its just that i trained myself to automatically disregard people's responses to my opinions
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rootspiral · 3 days ago
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 3
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4])
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when I first watched this I reallllllly hoped sharon was about to come back. but she wouldn't have ever called herself mrs. hart, that was an obvious giveaway
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I know I'm repeating myself but - THIS MOTHERFUCKER
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aw of course alice is immediately protective. that's so hot of her.
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rio you'll have to stop being delighted at her antics, you're only enabling her at this point
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agatha you fucker. and kudos for the excellent debra jo rupp impression, kathryn.
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it's sweet and so sad that lilia fell for it. she consistently loses her seer abilities when dealing with the guilt for the people she couldn't save
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jen is so done
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rio is dismissive but also soft when she says this. and then she raises her eyebrows at agatha, as if dating her to deny it.
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you can literally see her mask falling off.
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billy shakes his head, disappointed. this is the first time he sees agatha fall so low
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rio is like, come back here and face the music, my darling. she's really not letting her off the hook anymore
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rio laughing in delight when death is mentioned, like yes! that's me! I'm here! just happy to be included!
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agatha's panic is so overwhelming she's already at the point when she bolts. but there's no running this time. billy, like wanda, is merciless.
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screaming so awful that lilia jumps back to episode 2 to escape it. meanwhile, rio.
(is jen wearing bunny slippers lolll)
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yes, yes, it's hilarious that she had to spit out her retainer. but dear god evanora getting to jen first because she's the one agatha hurt the most.
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now rio is casually modeling. she's making a great show of not caring about what agatha is going through
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her coven turning her back on her. again.
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sorry for always pointing out what rio is doing, but aubrey is killing me. now she's going oh well! you heard what the lady said! looks like I'm not the only one who thinks you're a piece of shit!
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and despite it all rio (who, once again, is not allowed to kill a fly) is not doing what everybody else is doing. she's just being butthurt at agatha
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the essays I could write about agatha's internalized misogyny
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oh billy, no. you didn't ever realize all the shit you were stirring.
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wow this particular line coming from jen really hurts
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rio is trying to decide if she's into zombie agatha, lol. it's like she's always in a different show than everybody else. or rather, she's transcending genres, she's always doing her own thing because the Road doesn't affect her. while the others see real danger, she sees painted sets she can cut through with her knife.
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but look what happens next. rio suddenly turns serious, and there's even a hint of panic in her voice. it's as if she realized this is not all tricks and smoke.
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and finally, she fully comprehends how dangerous billy is. like, the staggering scale of it. chaos magic creates life in an artificial way that goes against everything rio stands for. wanda did not create an illusion of Vision, she made a real, alive vision out of thin air. billy himself was created the same way. and now he has effectively brought back evanora - not a pale imitation, a ghost Evanora functionally indistinguishable from the real thing, just as full of hatred and just as capable of hurting agatha. if it wasn't personal before!
you know, I didn't like this episode as much as the others on first watch, but I was wrong. there is a lot to unpack here. like many things on AAA, it's all in the subtleties.
go to episode 5 part 4
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wosowffc · 2 days ago
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NEW GUNNER
Part 1
Today is the freindly against England on home solid in Australia so at least I don't have to a lot of travel. I've been playing with the Matilda's for about 3 or 4 years moving up from the u21s, I keep to myself and get on with each day here just waiting for it to be over, I'm grateful don't get me wrong but I'm not a people person.
I wake up early as per usual blinding myself with another gorgeous aus sunrise, throw on clothes and head down to go a walk , I do this every day getting up 2 hours before everyone while at camp so I don't have to do anything with them like sit in the canteen, not that they mind they would rather put a fork in my eye that sit and chat with me.
As soon as I came into my first camp 2 girls tried to talk to me but were quick to be pulled away by people who have played me or played with me at club and told them what I was like but I don't care I'm better off alone. I'm sat on the beach with a take away morning oats from a local shop watching the waves crash against the rock and the crabs rush along to get on with their days. Soon enough the 3 hours which felt like 20 mins had passed and it was time to go back to get on the bus to the stadium.
They game was perfect we had england right where we wanted them and they were struggling to keep on us. Throughout I got my usual dose of hard aimed tackles and fouls to which I kept my calm, we'll, that was the case until bastard Beth mead drags me to the floor off ball and then when gets up fake falls over me kicking my in the side. Is she for real. I'm about to blow and I know it so I pull her back by her shirt when we both stand cause int her to fall and to end it I step on her arm.
She screamed at the action but I don't care it's just rage inside me took over I try to not let it happen really I do but , she got me booked when I didn't do anything, I'm definitely off now.
A red card is shown and I'm booed off which is fair ofc the fans won't be happy with the action. I take myself to my cubby grabbing some clothes and getting a shower and ordering your self a texi to the hotel, there's still a 20 mins and acutivity after before the bus goes and you don't want to deal with the girls not so early after.
You make your way to you room Back at the hotel putting on a tee and shorts. You share the room with the only person who had been nice to you, Katrina gorry, she was you mentor type person when you came in to the squad at 16. You lay on your bed looking at a dark, dark purple bruise forming on your side wincing slightly as you lay a hand in it. A while later the door opens you see the light glow on the wall your facing, a tear dripping down you cheek not wanting anyone to see.
"You alright" is all you hear felling her sit and the bottom of your bed. "Look at me" she says trying to get you to turn away from the wall which u do wiping ur cheeks.
"I didn't mean to boil over, I'm trying" you quietly let out. To which she gives a sympathetic look
"Her arm was broke , listen I know your trying but let others see that, get some sleep you've got a lot of travel tomorrow" she says giving ur arm a rub and getting into her own bed.
You don't want to look weak, your not weak. You have felt with everyone hating you for years already so who cares, not you. You hate national time, fans don't like you, teammates don't like you it's just all shit you love representing your country but who are you to represent anything your a worthless piece of crap. Tomorrow night you go back to your club, Chelsea, nobody likes you their either not since the moment you arived.
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icarusredwings · 1 day ago
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Thinking about married poolverine at the x mansion for the Christmas parties.
I like to think that even after he's quit drinking and is older, Wade lets him sit around the mansion and drink a shit ton of egg nog and just.. chill. Wade won't let anyone ask him to do anything except.. what he didn't know.. is that he signed logan up to be santa for the younger kids, and he's definitely dressed as Mrs. Clause, a wig, heels, red and white fluffy skirt, everything.
"You want me to wear what??"
"Oh, come on its for the kids peanut! Besides... ill repay you later~"
"Wade, these kids are like 12 theyre not gonna-....fine"
By the adult party runs around and the kids under 21 are forced off into their rooms, morph kurt and logan are lounging on the couch trying to sing a german carol after busting out the GOOD Alchool but Kurt forgets half of it so its just the three of them mummbling nonsense and wade thinks its the cutest most humble thing he's ever seen Logan do. Just.. a guy being a guy with his friends. And he's so happy. Soooo happy to finally have them back. Even if these aren't HIS x men, he's missed this so bad. Later he will cry because he misses HIS x men but for now? Let him be not sober and forget about that.
"Alright santa. I think its time for bed." Wade says, still in his Mrs. Clause outfit, trying to tug Logans arm up.
"Aye! Get offa me! My husband will kill you!" He throws a fit and backs away, into kurt who's tail flickers and gives her a dirty look. Who does this woman think she is?? Trying to make his friend commit adultery???
Wade pauses, then giggles, realizing just how much makeup he had on right now. He's utterly estatic that Logan won't come with him. It's only really morph whos confused because that's obviously Wade. You would think the guy could smell his own husband right?? Yeahhh... not like this.
"Teehee and that right there is why it's bedtime, peanut." He says, hoping itll spark a few plugs but logan only does the Loading cat face, tilting his head. His face is red from the alchool and the santa make up.
"Don't call me that!" He whines.
Wade rolls his eyes, smiling. "Baby, come on. You're tired." He says in that special voice. The one that leads Logan down to earth when his anger is the only thing he can see when he forgets who he is, when he's having his PTSD attacks.
"... I am?"
"Yes. Now come on. Time for bed."
Kurt whispers not to be tempted by her in his ear, and it's back to square one. It takes Remy interfereing by telling Kurt that this "devil woman" IS Logan's husband and that it's okay.
The whole thing is a mess, and it has Rouge giggling her ass off, hugging her brother as his tail flickers still.
"Ooh!! You big buzz ball! Always lookin afta folks aint ya?" She tells him, squeezing him enough to make him wheeze. "Careful cher, Gambit thinks he wants his ribs attached."
"Nonsense! A lil roughhousin nevah killed nobody!!"
You just see him trying to take Wade to their room and Logan does the little slap at his arms and is like "I can walk by myself lady! Jeez!! ..... wheres my husband? Im gonna tell on you!!"
"I AM your husband." Wade says, finally taking off the wig and caressing his chop the way he usually does. Logan's eyes squint, his eyebrows burrowing together before dilating, and Wade can swear he heard his heart beat quicken.
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Laura gags.
"....'sup" he says, pulling him closer with a big idiotic grin.
Wade squeals, now trying to push him away. "Eww!! Never say that again!" He giggles. "You big lud! Bedtime!"
It's the absolute sweetest thing anyone ever witnessed, and it makes Jean happy too to know someone did infact take the big bad putty tat home. Finally-
This is how I want every teacher au Christmas fic to go you understand me? No sentinal drama. No worries. Maayyybbee Magneto if he behaves.
Just let this man be HAPPY for once.
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grapejuicestyless · 3 days ago
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What If I Don’t Know?
JJ Maybank x fem!reader
Summery: In an alternate universe where the pogues gave up the hunt after their win with El Dorado, Y/n breaks free of the island dream and runs off the college. Only to find that maybe, being away isn’t what she wanted after all.
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My boots danced across the thick yellow lines on the deep black pavement. The traffic lights were flickering yellow, reflecting off of the void and rippling across the building puddles by the clogged sewer drains. An intersection at midnight, no dead stop and no definite go. Just the trust that the other cars wouldn’t blow past the warning signs. The trust that metal was made to bend, to rupture to save a life.
I didn’t have a car, I couldn’t afford one, and I never needed one. Everything I ever wanted was always just a few steps away. Laughter used to echo through the halls and cold rings hit the doors repeatedly. You grow used to people that way. Used to the sound of their footsteps, of their breath. You know who’s on the other side of the door always when you memorize the pattern of their movement.
JJ promised me once that we’d make one. We would run our way down to the junkyard and pick out old parts of cars and Frankenstein them together into a piece of shit that would run like a dream.
That was something I missed. The smell of gasoline. Maybe that’s why I stumbled down through the college town, balancing between the thin stripe of black between yellow and twirling in the center where road met road. Maybe I was looking for that bitter smell to remind me of home. The image of JJ bent under the hood of a truck. The same Ford that sat broken in the front yard for years, the sound of metal twisting and the breathy grunts with each violent twist of the wrench. It would run like new one day, he swore. I never doubted him, and I still don’t. One day, we’ll run down to that junkyard, a graveyard for cars, and we’ll find that missing piece.
Rain dripped from the bridge of my nose, falling on my soaked shoes and flattening out my fuzzy socks. Everything up North was colder. Maybe it was because of how bitter people were. The semi-warm summers and the sweltering months of autumn, only for the two week beach bliss to be swiftly replaced with a harsh winter that didn’t let up until the next summer. Cold nipped at my nose. I felt bitter the longer I was here, which was weird because when I was sixteen, I could have sworn this place was home.
Then again, I had never really been anywhere long enough to know what home really was. Everywhere I went became rushed by the sweet adventure that was chasing riches. Maybe it was the idea of settling down that intrigued me. To be sat in one place for a while and to slow down, to increase my chances of living through my twenties without some pirate knocking on my front door, a gun to my head. But this wasn’t home, this wasn’t settling. This was restlessness mixed with a deep urge to find something like home. An emptiness emotionally that I just couldn’t understand.
Like a dog chasing its own tail, I felt stupid, and I myst have looked drunk dancing among the silence of my college town. I should have been happy, this should have been home. I got out, I got what Kiara always dreamed of, I sought out a higher education, a dream that Pope had thrown away. My record was clean and my future had meaning. I should have been ecstatic to receive this opportunity, after all the grief and death and scandals of my childhood, a stage in my life that was stripped away by all the realities that unraveled with each new treasure found. But, I wasn’t. Even then, sick, dirty, and cold, I wasn’t happier than then now.
I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. In the dormitories, in the bathrooms, in the halls. It’s me, or, a version of that girl. She has my hair, and we share the same eyes, same curve of our lips too. But she’s hollowed out, gutted, and so indescribably not me. Different, not greater, but worse. I think of packing my bags quite often. Going quietly and without a fuss. To swallow my pride and withdraw my debt I would surely acquire if I stay any longer here at some institution I knew I couldn’t afford the moment I sent in my letter.
My roommate would be disappointed, but she’d move on. She doesn’t know me, she understands the concept of me, but she doesn’t know me. She’s nice enough, keeps her room clean, which inspires me to do the same. She brushes her hair regularly, almost obsessively, and is really pretty. We get along fine. We are friends, to a degree, but we are sure to find other roommates and never speak again. Still, I wonder if she would be mad if I left without telling her.
JJ was mad when I told him. He didn’t like the idea of abandonment. Though, I promised I would return in just a few months, and then a week after, and a few months later. It would feel like I am forever home, only with short intermissions where he gets to enjoy all the things that the island could offer with the others to hang off of his arm. He didn’t even indulge in that idea. He thought even an hour apart was too much.
I promised him it wasn’t abandonment, and swore to call him every night. I do. Sometimes I call him in the morning, and I almost always call him in the afternoon. I like to hear his voice. It sounds like home, it makes me feel warm. I forget about the redness of my nose and the tingling numbness in my fingers. He sounds like the waves crashing against the shore and the sound of wet spaghetti hitting the walls during dinners at midnight. He is laughter and the summer sun, the swells that ripple in mid July and the best seashells on the beach.
My knees bend beneath me, kneeling against the wet cement beneath me. I feel the wetness soaking through my jeans. It’s cold. Like it could be snow if it were a degree cooler. I kneel in the middle of the intersection, and I look up at the sky. It’s dark. I check my watch, it’s nearly morning again. The yellow light flickers against my skin, illuminating my face and leaving me in pitch black again. Everyone is sleeping in my college town. All is quiet.
My neck stretches out, upwards and I open my mouth. My tongue touches my chin, and I can taste the dirt in the droplets that swallow down my throat. My eyes are closed, because I have nothing to fear but loneliness itself, and whether my eyes are opened or closed, the feeling will still be there, and the fact will be too. I am alone, in this journey. I have nothing friends to lean on and no campfire to light. Nobody here knows about the existence of Kildare, of the marsh, and the restaurants that line the cut. They wouldn’t care, they don’t care about an environment they are not accustomed to. They only have so much space to consume what they need to know. To drink up their studies, they have no space for empty thoughts of a life they never lived.
I have my old phone in my pocket. The keypad is burned into the screen because it’s all I use it for now. My life revolves around nothing but the stress of failure and the relief of my best friend’s voice at the end of the day to ease my stress. The truth is, I understand the void in my passion now better than I did when it first appeared, the black hole that seemed to swallow up all my excitement for the new beginnings. I understand the bitter feelings I have for my new house, because I refuse to call this place home. Home is not a place you reside, though, familiarity breeds contempt, home is a connection to the people who reside in respect of you, who stand by you. So though the people I surround myself with here are perfectly friendly, they are not my friends, and they will never come close to the feeling of home I feel with them.
“Hello?” His voice is thick with sleep. He has that rasp men get early in the morning, a rich deepness I rarely hear anymore, but something I once bathed in with his arms wrapped around me through the night.
Theres a soft rhythmic ticking that comes with the flickers of light, and the soft patters of rain drenching the pavement create solemn acoustics around me.
“Hey, JJ.” It comes out in one breath. A sigh of relief that he even heard the buzzing of his phone in his usual dead-to-the-world like sleep cycle. My fingers slip on my phone case and I have to catch it, the rustling on my end of the line echoing back through the speaks to me. I can hear the playback of my breathing through a short delay that spans over a vast distance.
“Is everything alright? It’s…three in the morning. I don’t know a lot about time zones but, I think we’re both on the east coast.”
“No, it’s the same time zone, Jay.” My cheeks already hurt with how big my smile was. He just had that effect on me. His goofy, unknowing attitude always managed to make me laugh, especially because deep down I knew he was a lot smarter than he led on to be. When he let that mask slip to reveal his true self, it was always a wonder the ideas that spewed from his lips. He had one of the greatest minds I’d ever known, only to be undermined by the tragedy of his last name.
“Is it a crime to miss my best friend?” My eyes found a home on my wet knees, and my free hand began to play around in the water. Dragging my nail through the small puddle forming around my body.
“At this time? Yes.” He chuckled softly. “Somethings up, what are you speculating? Whats the word? Ovulating? Because I can’t help you with that.” He made himself clear, smiling through his sentences.
“What? No! Why would I call you of all people if I was photo-ovulating?” I corrected myself with a laugh.
“Don’t knock it until you try it. I happen to be irresistible.” JJ defended himself with a teasing tone. Our conversation was light like it always was, even though my homesickness ran deep, and the sadness I felt was heavy, he made it feel like even the rain pouring down around the city I lived in was letting up.
“Lord knows John B’s walls are too thin for me to not have some kind of clue.” I snickered, pushing back the wet strands of hair that had fallen down upon my face.
Rain clung to me in every crevice, drenching me completely until I felt nothing but cold wash over me. It was a shower I didn’t need, one that did not cleanse me but instead poisoned me with the reminder that this was reality, I was miles away from the voice that was soothing my hearts ache momentarily. I would mull over it later.
“Nah, you got off on that shit.”
“Don’t be a pig, I’ll hang up.” I threatened half-heartedly. We both knew I never would. I could never cut the calls first, so the responsibility fell to JJ, who suffered the same inability to let go. Our calls usually stretched for hours, and the voicemails left in my inbox from the few times I would pass out with my cheek pressed firmly against some dusty book in the library took up all remaining storage in my phone. Right along side the folders of photos of us that collected by the thousands.
“So why’d you call?” He asked finally. I had no real answer. I used up all my excuses. Could he check for a sweater I left behind, the very same one I had on, or if he could just catch me up on what the others were up to. As if I didn’t call to hear all their stories daily, hourly if possible. What was I to tell him? What excuse could serve as something plausible without bearing a burden on his wide shoulders.
“You’re my best friend. I love you, I don’t need a reason.”
“You always have a reason.” He argued softly.
“Well, tonight I don’t.” I hummed. He hummed too, and silence filled the line.
The homely yellow flicked was accompanied by the blinding lights that came in pairs, growing brighter and wider with each passing second. Like a deer, I stood quickly, tall in my path but frozen in fear. I couldn’t meet the eyes of the man behind the wheel, recklessly racing across the intersection with no caution. Yellow meant slow, yet in the night, it only called for feet hitting the floor.
Puddles splashed violently, wheels screeching against the wet cement, leaving trails of where wet met soaked. I could see the distance between the wheels, I could lay my chest against the ground and measure it with my wingspan. The car swerved, laying down on the horn until the sound sputtered away into the distance, and nothing but the soft ticking of the lights and the sound of rain smacking the pavement filled the silence of the line again.
“Are you outside?” JJ asked finally. The sound of sheets crinkling and shuffling of legs against the mattress told me the loud alarm had stirred him from his relaxed state. I nodded at first, forgetting he couldn’t see me, and then I cleared my throat.
“I’m standing in an intersection.” I confessed quietly.
“Why?”
To clear my mind, to escape everything that was bothering me. To find peace with the silence, to try and find comfort in a home that wasn’t mine. There were a lot of minor reasons. The smell of gasoline was high on the list. I rationalized a lot of reasons in my head. Maybe I was looking for that bitter smell to remind me of home. Still, my gut wouldn’t settle.
I had left home to find something good for myself, to do myself the favor I always promised myself I would if I ever had the chance. But now, now that my feet had carried me to a place that was usually bustling with life, life that felt dull compared to even the most calm days on the island, I felt like I could never go back. A chance, a life, a future that I craved, I was throwing away because my feet refused to lift from the ground until I was sure I would only take my next steps home.
“I miss you.”
My answer was clear. It was true. I missed the waves, I missed the concrete roads freshly paved down in figure eight and how they met the old dirt roads of the cut. I missed John B’s chicken coop, though the chickens were long gone. I missed the dying tree carved with his name, and the rusted latch on the chateau’s porch door that left a yellow stain in the crinkles of my palm. But more than anything, I missed being no more than a breath away from JJ Maybank.
“Come pick me up?” I asked with uncertainty. Not because I even doubted for a moment that JJ wouldn’t come running to me if I even for a moment doubted where I stood, but because the morning was still young and tropical paradise was far away from the whistling winds of the North. Ferries only ran during certain hours, and money was hard to come by, even when we scrape together our pennies. Thats what happens when you drink up your success, you’re left with the repercussions. So, even if he did catch the boat, where would he get a ride from? How much more would it cost to bring the Twinkie alongside hime and ride it all the way to the hills where the colleges welcome signs were illuminated by colored lights, shining in school colors and pride.
He let out a stifled breath. He was choking on emotion I couldn’t read over the phone.
“I’ll be there, yeah.” He promised.
“Okay…I’ll go pack.” I said, suddenly and awkwardly. Yes, I dreamed of this day, kissing everything goodbye and running back to my roots, but now it was real. I could hear JJ slipping on his boots already. Why waste this chance?
“Pack?” He questioned.
“I’m leaving for good, Jay. I know I tell you that this is great and all, but I hate it here. This isn’t…this isn’t what I thought it would be. It’s not what I want.”
“So, you’re coming home?” He asks even though my answer has always been obvious.
“Yes.”
The line falls quiet again. I can hear the shuffling of his feet quickening against the rotting wood floors of the old Maybank property. A broken home flipped into something good. We share a bed there, I imagine he’s already grieving the loss of his starfish sleep position now that he’ll be bound to the same mattress as me again.
“I’ll be there soon.” The line falls dead.
Water splashes around me. If I wasn’t already soaked, I would be now. I can see why John B loved having a car so much now. The cold was fine at first when it was numbing, but now that I had feeling back in my chest, it was too much for me. My feet hit the pavement in harsh slapping movements, I pump my arms for some kind of friction against the wind. My lungs burn, they taste metallic. I want to wheeze and stop running, but I don’t think I could if I tried. I should feel embarrassed how quickly I up and left the place I was once stuck in, how I turned on my heels to run far away. But I’m not. I feel nothing, actually. Nothing but cold, determination, excitement. I have the energy of a child. I am an olympic runner, I have the right motivation. Get the fuck out of here, run myself right into JJ’s arms. I pray I don’t wake my roommate up when I reach my room.
The room is empty when I get there. I open the door so slowly, not even the rusted hinges make a sound. The carpet groans under my weight, even on my highest tip-toes. But the beds are empty and neatly made like they were left this morning. Rains pelts the windows. Theres a fan running. It’s my fan. I can’t sleep in the heat, not even in the winter. My bedding consists of borrowed blankets that I buried myself in, subconsciously trying to suffocate away the homesick feelings.
I barely had any clothes to pack, anything to throw into my duffle bag and my old backpack that was once Kiara’s. I never really got around to unpacking anyway, because there was so little to fill the bags I brought. Looking back on every decision I made before even stepping foot on campus, I should have known I would never stay. This was merely a vacation from hell. I don’t get the privilege to relax, I am worked and forced to prove myself over and over again among my peers who will never know me. I can’t wait to go somewhere where I am known again.
Somewhere along the way, I begin to collect up the posters on my walls. I rip them down hazardously, crumpling them and leaving them in the empty trashcan. It’s empty because there’s nothing I’ve touched in this room. Not the books, or the pens. I have a singular pencil up on my desk that’s much shorter than it once was, only half of its once lengthy size, and a nearly full set of flashcards. I don’t need the memory of this place to follow me. I consider it a favor to my roommate. To gift her with all the supplies she will ever need. She is nice enough, and a lot smarter than me. She’s sitting here on a full ride, though, the collar of her shirt says she could afford it without a penny. I convince myself she deserves it even though I do not know her.
I check my phone repeatedly, and I sit on the bench under the old overhang by my dorms. I stay out of the rain, I stay near the warmth and huddle up. I feel anxious waiting for him. It’s only been a few hours. I swept over the room for the few things I did want to keep. Like one of JJ’s bracelets, though it never even left my wrist. Or the soap I used in the shower. It was brand new, I had just bought a new one. I wait for his call. I wait for the familiar honking of the rusted horn. I wait, and wait as the sun rises. Time ticks by. I am impatient, I wasn’t bred this way, but good things have made me this way. I cannot wait.
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“Popes probably gonna kill me.” I mumbled softly.
The car was warm, but my hands still lingered with the outsides touch. I sat on that bench for hours waiting for him. I saw people rise from their beds and lean out the window, taking in the smell of the dewey morning. A few gave me puzzled glances. A drenched girl, dripping down on the bench, wetting everything she touched.
But then, he came. I could see the rusted van before he even put it in park. Just between the brick lined buildings and the paths decorated in dying shrubbery. There was a small gap between the campus lawn and the visitors parking lot. A small slice of the outside world creeping into the sheltered space that was college.
I ran. I ran faster than I ever had in my life. Faster than when I used to race for desert back when Big John used to ruffle my hair and let me sleep over if I wanted, faster than when Ward held a gun to my head and made me pray for some kind of miracle. I ran until my feet couldn’t keep up, and I fell into JJ with a gasp.
He held me back, lifting my feet from the ground they stood on. I swore I heard him mumble something sappy under his breath, but he quickly shrugged it away when he saw the look in my eyes. I never felt love until I felt the desperation in the way he wrapped his arms around me. The way he squeezed the air from my lungs and only let me breathe when he was sure that the feeling between his elbows and his chest was really real, until he knew that this was for good.
He had slung my bags into the back seat and laughed as he told me to get in the Twinkie. When he started driving, he played the old CD we burned together in middle school filled with soft rock and Bob Marley. Occasionally, a song I had written into the playlist without him knowing would play. He always acted angry that I’d done that, but his fingers tapped the wheel and he couldn’t help but hum along. He would never admit to liking trashy pop songs, but the pink on his cheeks gave him away.
When the CD was spun to an end, we debated playing it again. We fell into silence, into the comfort of company. We both took the time to process the fact that this was real now, this was the decision I had decided to make. The thoughts that ran through my mind, what if I took off? What if I packed my bags, what if we moved back home? Let’s adventure down the coast, let’s live our youthful dreams that are unrealistic. Let’s make a home. They were real now, in this car, in him. We sat comfortably knowing that there was no limit on our company now, no restrictions on how much time there was left to borrow.
My socks tapped against the dashboard, my toes tracing the outline of the stickers scattered along the interior. Wet residue was left over, soggy folds gathered at my ankles. My body folded into itself slightly. I let the warn air from the dusty vents dance across my skin. Goosebumps faded like the sinking feeling in my gut. The smell of gasoline filled my nose once more, the smell of his deodorant reminded me that he was close.
“No doubt about it. Don’t know how you’re gonna talk your way out of this one.” JJ sighed contently.
“Well, you’re pretty good at sweet talking.” I buttered him up. Compliments were his weakness, I knew it all too well.
“I love you, but no.” JJ laughed.
“What! Oh, come on, please!”
My hands wrapped around his right bicep. My chin sat perched on his shoulder, batting my eyelashes at him and tickling the peach fuzz on his jaw that he had missed while shaving. I wanted to rub my palm over it, tease him for it with a smile. He had a toothy grin that I could see reflecting back in the rearview mirror.
“I get shit done, but I’m not a miracle worker, ‘kay?” He lifted his arm out of my grasp reluctantly, waving his finger to make his point.
“I thought Papa J was a miracle worker?” I teased with a raised brow. My arms crossed over my chest with a huff. My back fell gently against door. I turned to face him, a pout on my face and lines between my furrowed brows.
JJ let out a breathy laugh, his resolve quickly breaking at my endless begging. He had soft spots and I knew just where to aim.
“No, no! Don’t use my ego against me!” He laughed. I held my stomach this time, trying to keep my ribs together while I struggled to contain the fits of giggles bubbling up my throat and fighting past my lips. If love was a sanctuary, I was certain I had both feet in it. If it was a fire, I was burning up, and if it was the waves, they had crashed down relentlessly against my shivering body, bringing relief with each blow.
I bit the inside of my cheek and chewed at the skin. Laughter faded into even breathing, and my limbs curled up against the wrinkling fabric of the passenger seat. It had just barely started to rain again, a soft pattern of droplets hitting the windshield every so often. The closer we got to the dock, the more it lightened up. Though, the storm came in waves in the shape of the clouds that covered the blue skies. With each opening with sun peaking through, the tapping on glass stopped. When the grey swallowed us whole, it resumed. I didn’t mind it again. Not for the reasons that I wallowed in just hours ago, not to seek comfort in my homesick nature that cane purely from the soul of a homebody. But this time, because the swelling my my heart made me want to pull over to the side of the highway and spin around until my half-dried socks were coated in mud and my skin didn’t recall what the dryness felt like.
“Can I tell you something?” I murmured, my eyes locked in to the passing view that was the trees speeding past the windows.
“Yeah.” JJ hummed.
“I only came back for you.”
JJ hesitated on what he thought he wanted to say. He was biting his tongue. I shook my head.
“That sounds bad.” I laughed. “I only decided to leave because of you. I guess…just sitting in the middle of the road, I already felt really far away from everyone. I missed everyone more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life, but I was convinced that maybe I could suffer through it. But…just being with my thoughts, and hearing your voice after thinking for a while…kinda just convinced me.”
JJ took it all in. I saw the whites of his knuckles deepen the harder he pressed his fingertips to the wheel, the vast expanse of road ahead daunting now. This was beyond quality time together, and he knew it now that the newness began to settle and he began to realize it was the same old me. This was my future, and I had tossed it all away.
“I just…I guess I always thought you’d be the one to make it out. To really go for it. Kildare’s bog enough for me, but I always kinda thought you’d go somewhere…more.” JJ spoke softly, eyes glued to the road.
“Maybe I already did get out. I got out and I tried to change everything about me to be that girl who wanted to get out, but she’s dead. Getting out sounded so freeing when we were younger, but now…now that we’ve seen the world and…and done so much in such little time, I’ve already lived a whole life, I’ve seen the world and I still feel like I don’t know who I am yet. But I know what I love, and I know that I hate every second that I’m away from it.”
JJ hummed again, raising his brows.
“You don’t need to explore every single corner of the earth to be something or-or someone. And maybe I didn’t realize it when I sent my letter in but I know now and I know that, I feel only half as good when I’m anywhere but where I should be. I’m sorry if that’s disappointing or if Pope is going to lecture me for days and you have to listen to it, but I know I have such a better chance of being who I want to be where I can be her than in some Northern University where people wear coats year round.” I rambled. My hands moved quickly. I cut through the air with each slice of my palms, and my eyes ran wild across the landscapes and the curve of his nose down to the bend of his jawline.
“I’m just trying to make sure this is what you want.” He finally cracked a smile. His head turned for a moment to meet my eyes, and I could see the flickers of light brightening up his affectionate gaze.
“Jay, I sat in the pouring rain in the middle of the road and begged you to come get me.” I deadpanned, but a small smile still graced my face.
Truthfully, I couldn’t wait to stick my toes back in the warm sand back home. To look down at my boots and dance along the gravel roads instead of balancing between two yellow lines that shot straight down the neat pavement.
Home was a foreign concept for a long time. The idea that it was something that could be bought. Through a mortgage, monthly rent, out of pocket. I never had those kinds of expenses. What was pocket change for some felt like gold to me, so maybe when people sat around talking about how they craved a big house to reside in, I never fully understood. Then again, I was never anywhere long enough to know.
I wouldn’t change a thing, how I ran around with my friends for years looking for gold that seemed to become buried under more and more stories, leading us to an even greater prize. I wouldn’t change the way I threw it all away to be with them. Subconsciously, I was smarter than I thought. Pope talked about packing up his bags, skipping town and moving to Idaho. Somewhere where he meant nothing to nobody and could start over. But I never indulged in it, or the fantasies of having a little more money. Being stable out be nice, but I always knew I had what I needed. I had a home and it was built on the structure of my four best friends that soon grew in size to six, and they had toothy smiles and stupid jokes.
“Do you think they’ll be mad?” I asked suddenly. Sure, this was right and it was what was true, but this was a dream that nobody else ever got to experience.
JJ pulled his lip between his teeth.
“Nah.” He sighed. “Pope will have your head, but Pope gets wound up easily. Could use him as a fishing pole.” JJ joked. It made me laugh and I felt any stress melting away. It was funny that he could do that anytime he pleased. I didn’t know if he ever knew he could do it, but he had a smart mouth, and a funny bone that always seemed to tickle me just right.
“But not you?” I asked once again.
“Not me what?”
“You wouldn’t? Be disappointed in me, that is.” I clarified softly, the roads becoming softer the more me drove along them. It was only moments until we’d soon roll onto the metal bridge connecting us to the boat that would send us home.
JJ breathed out through his nose.
“Is this what you want?”
“Yes.” I responded plainly.
“And it makes you happy?”
“Yes.” JJ sighed, his eyes flickering from the wheel, to the road, and back to me. But only for a moment.
“Then no.” He answered just as plainly as I did, but there was a twinge of happiness itching at the corners of his lips. Selfishly, he wanted me to come home, and selfishly, I did too.
“Well, are you mad at me?” I continued to press him.
He laughed. “I could never be angry at you.”
“Not even if this is the wrong choice?” I picked at the skin by my fingers. My skin hurt a lot less now that it was shedding the smell of foreign land and letting the faint smell of the Twinkie stick.
“Who am I to tell you if it’s wrong?”
“Well, Pope would tell me it’s wrong.” I argued weakly.
“And am I Pope?”
I shook my head silently, and my eyes glued to my fingers. Blood stained my cuticles, where skin met nail. It stung, but it hurt a lot less than what I felt before.
“Y/n/n, you could send me into bankruptcy and act like we’re rich and I don’t think I’d even have it in me to blame you.” JJ smiled. I focused on the slopes and curls of his hair.
We sat in silence for a moment. It wasn’t like he was Shakespeare, but it wasn’t often JJ said something truly sappy. Usually, his philosophies revolved around excuses for his own stupid actions, which, now that he had explained his view on me, I had come to realize I never fully saw the extent of his behavior because I had never had the courage to blame him. I never would.
“So, you’ll talk me out of trouble when we get back?” I smiled sweetly, leaning my head on his shoulder and batting my eyelashes desperately.
JJ let out a laugh from deep in his stomach, his cheeks turning pink from his gasps of oxygen.
“I love you, but no.”
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“I thought JJ was the reckless one, but holy shit, Y/n/n!” Pope ran a hand over his hat, pulling it off by the brim in one quick motion. The hard fabric hit the wooden counter of the bait and charter shop, the slap echoing through the homely space.
“Can you blame me? It’s so far away, and we just got back! I haven’t been in one place for more than a month in years, and I’m so god damn tired of feeling homesick all the time!” I tried to argue against the growing rally against me. I pleaded my case, but they all looked at me like I was brain dead.
“You had a chance, Y/n. A really good one too and you blew it, for what? To sell bait? To slum it in the cut? You can do that when you’re done earning your other options!” He scolded me like I was a kid. But I’m not a kid, and the worry lines slowly creeping up onto my once vibrant face are only evidence of the ever growing number attached to my bones.
“Yes, but a chance I didn’t ever really want! I mean, how could I even know if I ever wanted it, I don’t know who I am!”
“Thats what growing up is for! Not growing down. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re not a kid anymore, Y/n. And you never will be again!”
Silence fell over the small room. Even the waves rolling against the dirt didn’t dare to whisper through the large windows and gaps for doors.
“I sacrificed that for you.” I spoke softly, bitterly. For so long, I’s bitten my tongue for everyone. Hidden my resentment for chasing after a gold, I never really wanted because in my eyes, I already had it. But it was what they wanted, so I let myself age out of the period of my life I had dreamed of since I was a kid.
“I gave up my childhood so that you could figure out yours! You got to know who you are, I never got that because no one ever stopped to ask me what I wanted! Nobody! You were all too caught up in your greedy treasure hunt to ever look around and think about if everyone wanted to do this!”
“No one made you come along.” Kiara stepped forward, the same disapproving look in her eyes. She was only defending her wordless friend, but my feet felt heavy and my joints were warm. I felt myself creating sentences I should have never admitted out loud.
“Well I did! I did, and it’s too late to change that, and I did it because that’s what friends do. But what do we have to show for it? Nothing! We didn’t get the cross, we didn’t get the gold, hell, we already spent all of the nuggets John B managed to grab!” It fell silent again, and suddenly, I was standing in the center of a circle I didn’t want to be a part of.
“So what? Because we failed, it condemns you to leave college?” Kiara always had a smarter mouth than me. She was quit witted and observant. Yet, she failed to understand that my choice to come home wasn’t something merely of the way the treasures slipped through our fingers. It was a homesickness she never had to feel because she had plenty of them where she was consistently welcomed.
“Why is it so wrong for me to be unhappy with something that everyone else enjoys? Just because my dreams do not inspire yours does not make them any less important. A-and honestly I’m sick of standing here and listening to all of you yell at me for getting out of there instead of letting myself waste away! I’d be dead if I didn’t leave, I’d be dead because you all mean a lot too much to me for me to be away from you guys for so long. In four years I might be rich, but I would be unhappy. I would be bored. But you guys—us; we will be interesting, and funny, and bold, and unpredictable forever.”
I swallowed hard, and my eyes met the blues of the boy who had the courage to go against the majorities better judgement and bring me home. He had the same wild look on his face.
I hadn’t expected JJ to speak for me, to try and mellow out the anger I knew I would receive and backtrack against the backlash I would surely face. But out of everyone, I thought I could count on him to have my back.
And he just, didn’t.
I decided then I wouldn’t stay in the eye of the hurricane when I knew what it was capable of. I wouldn’t let myself become part of its destruction if I knew I could separate myself from it for just a moment, to remove myself from all the disappointed stares.
My feet hit the wood of the long dock, the bottoms of my shoes echoing through each plank of wood, all borrowed from the destruction of a past home.
I thought of packing up, leaving, heading over to some other place I could call home temporarily, but my fingers hesitated to reach under the bed, and my knuckles curled away from the zipper that connected to the duffle bag that was squished between dirty clothes and shoe boxes filled with memories.
A hand spun me around, pulling me from the daze I had put myself in the second I walked into the new bedroom that was mine to keep in the newly fixed home. It was calloused and warm, yet the coolness of the rings decorated on each finger revealed who the strong hold belonged to.
“Why couldn’t say something?” I asked bitterly before my eyes even met his. It was just JJ and I in the confines of our bedroom. The door shut without a crack and the windows sealed off from the outside.
“I told you I wouldn’t.” He smiled. I didn’t find it funny.
“No, but you could have defended me. I would have done it for you.” My lip wobbled. My throat stung, and JJ’s eyes softened. He must have believed it was because he hurt me, but it wasn’t his fault. It was just the idea that nobody would ever deal with what I felt because they hadn’t been burdened with the feeling of it ever before. And therefore, nobody would ever get it, nor have an inkling of an understanding of why I had to come home.
“Y/n/n, come on. It’ll blow over. They’ll be happy to have you back as soon as they get over it.” He tried to comfort me.
When his hands found my shoulders, it felt belittling, condescending, though I knew it wasn’t the case. I convinced myself it was because I was angry. Spiteful, maybe.
“No, JJ, stop. Stop touching me like you care, I can’t…I can’t stand it right now.” I stepped away, throwing his hands off of me like they were poison, or fire, or both.
“Everyone is looking at me like I’m a failure! Like…like I’m something to be embarrassed about. But who are they to say that I failed? Right? I spent my whole life, the years when I’m supposed to be finding myself licking the dirt off of other peoples shoes! And I took it and I didn’t complain because I thought that maybe my day would come, and it hasn’t! How is that fair? And to think I was stupid enough to think that something good would happen to me. But the truth is I hate being out of this stupid town, and this stupid town hates me. I-it’s like they’re all spitting on me and blaming it on the wind. And don’t look at me like I’m crazy because I love you too damn hard to be looked at like that by a boy I would give my whole life for!”
I breathed heavily through my teeth, and my chest raised with so much vigor in my voice, I shook the air with a desperate anger I had felt marinating for decades beneath my skin. Yet, the manhunting and the blaming had pushed it down, and the failure and the fear had only boiled it back up. But it was always there, simmering. JJ just laughed.
“I’m only looking at you like you’re crazy because I think you’re too good to care what anyone has to say about you.” He explained with a smile.
“To you, maybe. But that doesn’t make it true. Whats true is that they all had some image of me painted for them the second I made the decision to go to college, and it was wrong. Because I’m not nearly smart enough to be as interesting or independent as they want me to be. I can’t do organic chemistry, I’ve never passed a calculus test, I’m not a doctor. Nobody ever supported those dreams anyways, not even me, because as amazing as it would be to become those versions of myself, it’s not me.” My face crumpled in defeat finally.
“I’m not…good enough for anything outside of this town.”
For the first time in my life, I saw something in JJ’s eyes as I confessed how I saw myself, how I let my friends—no, my families anger affect how I saw my decisions. I saw dapples of disappointment flickering in the sea of his eyes.
“Do you really think thats true?” He asked calmly, softly. He ran a hand through his hair. He wanted to reach out for me, but he too shared that feeling of uncertainty that had consumed me in the past months.
“Good god, maybe they were right. Maybe you are a failure.” JJ sighed, and my breathing halted. “How can you for one second believe that anything they have to say is true? How can you believe that these things you think about yourself are true?”
“Well what am I supposed to believe? We were all raised to believe the same things, right? The engineers and the scientists are necessary but nobody needs the family man or-or the artists to carry on, right? So why should my dreams of just simple living be tolerated when everyone else craves so much more?” I cried.
“Do you even hear yourself? It’s contradictory in every sentence!” JJ yelled furiously back at me. But his anger wasn’t placed at me, but at the things that led me to believe what I thought.
“Just a few hours ago you were excited to come home. You were certain that this is what you wanted because it was your dream and your life! You wanted to find yourself, to know who you are. And you were right! More dead on than anyone had ever been in my life, and hearing you speak about what you knew inspired me to think more for myself than for the benefit of everyone else! College, or some fancy job, or money won’t make any of us know who we are, that’s your job!” JJ’s eyes were wide. He had decided now, and his hands found a home on my arms, squeezing hard and passionately.
“Anyone can be those things they want you to be, but I promise you, if you stick with what you know you want, everyone you touch will remember you for centuries.” He promised me softly.
“And how do I know if I even know myself? What if I’ve never been home enough long enough to know?”
“Then you’ll find it. You’ll find it, and I’ll find it too. We can find it together.”
My eyes searched his. I could no longer blink away my tears. The liquid was much warmer than the rain that had pelted against my skin, that had slipped down my back and under my shirt to touch the most painful and terrifying parts of myself that I had refused to acknowledge or recover for some time. It was hard to recognize it all, to know exactly who I wanted to be, so, I did what I did know.
I wrapped my arms around JJ tightly, burying my head in the wrinkles of his shirt and let the patterns his arms rubbed circles in my back guide the way I swayed. I let him hold me, because if anything could be uncertain then he was nothing. He was the one thing I’d always known, and maybe that was why I had called him that night. Because in every memory I ever had, he was the one defining memory of home. He was home.
“Will you be mad at me if I never find it?” I asked pathetically against his chest.
“No.” He responded softly, muffled by the way his lips pressed into the top of my head affectionately.
“I could never be angry at you.”
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sun-flower-children · 3 days ago
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BakuSquad with S/O’s Taller Than Them
This was written literally years ago but im trying to clear out my drafts
A/N: im a long boi and most imagines etc. are all shorter than them so i thought ‘ fine, i’ll do it myself’ :)
Sero Hanta
- he has no problem with you being taller than him. He’s actually really into it.
- cuddle wise he still wants to hold you, no matter the position.
- He will pull you down to his level by putting a hand on the back of your neck and gentle pull you down.
- Since he is the tallest out of all his friends, before he met you, he starts to understand the comfort of hugging and being surrounded by you.
-  He will tease you about it
- HE does like looking up at you
- Adores the way you make him feel safe, protected and loved.
- Will finally understand the stealing your s/o’s sweaters/hoodies because he has someone to steal from.
- I think that Sero would be s lil bitch about it when you wrap your arm around his shoulders and lean on him but in reality he likes it
Kaminari Denki
- Denks will spend the first few weeks of the relationship in shock and awe that he managed to pull you
- Once it settles in he will become progressively more touchy
- your sweaters / hoodies? they are now his lounge wear
- he like holding you bc it is like hugging a giant teddy bear and he has no problem telling you so
- another fun art of him getting comfortable is that he stops filtering all his thoughts that have to do with you
- they will come right out
- he tells you how much he loves that you tower over him and the size difference just does things to him
- sitting in your lap with your hands around his waist or resting in his lap make him so happy
- will jump up on your back and just hang on to you
Bakugo Katsuki
-Bakugo when he met you was upset that he had regrettably befriended another extra that is taller than him
- he was positive that he was going to keep growing
- by the time y'all are dating he night have grown but certainly not enough to surpass you in any way
- He hates that you literally look down on him, at first, and would find ways to bring him down to his level
- pulling your ear, tugging on your hair, pulling your sleeve/shirt, hitting your legs to make you bend over
- after sometime he realizes that this isn’t optimal behavior and will ask you to sit down.
- though after some more time passes he will realize that you never have and never will look down on him
- not when your eyes soften specially just for him and your gaze meets his ; shit just makes him melt
- he finds comfort in being able to be absolutely swallowed by you when cuddling.
- normally when y'all are chilling its side by side or he is the big spoon but when he has nightmares or is really anxious the only place he wants to be in in your bed, wearing comfy clothes and buried in your chest.
Kirishima Eijiro
- Kirishima thinks you are manly always
- regardless if you are masc presenting or not
- babes really needs to learn a new descriptor word
- Kiri loves your hieght from the get go
- cuddling and hugging you is his favorite. 
- when you leave of greet him you quickly kiss him on his forehead
- he melts and loves it sm
- likes to lean on you with his full body randomly
- think of it like soft n cute trust falls
- he likes that your extra blankets are extra long for him so he has more material to fuss around in when his playing his mobile games on your bed
- pat his head (gently and endearingly obvi)
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theogbadbitch · 2 days ago
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Now I be tryna stay away from the cheating fics but they be finding me I swear🌚 this was SO good , HELLO??????
I’m thankful for YOU this thanksgiving Ms. Uzumaki-rebellion.
*long reblog*
“Bethany gave a look to Terry. They both knew Jordan had been seeing other women while stationed there.” They messy as hell pls (just like me fr)
“You lookin' at my wife funny?" Here’s hoping🌚
“Nigga, I know you. Seen with my own eyes how you move. Is that why you want the car for yourself? To sneak around on Nova?"
“You really are a piece of work. Here I am thinking you finally became a real man," Terry huffed.” Lord may this type of love NEVER find me, I’ll be in PRISON.
“You her daddy or something?" 🌚 maybe
“Wife?" Lourdes squeaked.” Yes, now get your ass on somewhere, her husband SO embarrassing
“He's a liar…and a cheat. His hoe is walking around my home!" Nova screamed.” Here we go chile
“Nova grabbed a glass from the dish rack near the sink and threw it at Jordan. It clipped him in the head.” As she should, throw the microwave at his ass next
“he became self-conscious.” Nigga look like a handsome ass marble statue mind you
“He could fuck her raw and cum all inside her. “ what a sick bastard #needthat
“He's being deployed to the Indo-Pacific at the end of the year." Good riddance.
“Excuse me," he said, stepping past her into the hallway” poor baby trying his hardest to ignore my girl
“Terry's jaw grew tight. The man ignored his wife but answered his phone for a friend? Trifling.” Somebody need to whoop his ass and I volunteer to do it.
“She rubbed those sticky lower lips against him harder, rocking her hips forward and back.”
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“Can I cum inside you without a condom?" he asked.” SO freaked out
“This is all mine now," he said, while staring at her with his disarming green eyes.” WHEW. JUST WHEW.
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“He wished he'd been the one to put a baby in her. “ careful what you wish for🌚
“I want to get you pregnant myself” that power of tongue is something I hear🌚
“I love you, Terry…I love you…"
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“It's Nova…I think…I think she's cheating on me." I JUST BUSTED OUT LAUGHING
“ I know he's fucking the shit outta her cuz her body is ridiculous.” you don’t know the half of it nigga
“If she's happier, let her go." Nah he funny as hell for this 😭😭😭😭😭
Nobody:
Terry: I think you should leave her immediately and never contact her again thats just me tho
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“Why would you want her to divorce me, Terry?" OOP—-🌚
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“Are you fucking my wife?" This whole situation is crazy 😭😭😭😭😭
“it didn't surprise Terry at all that Nova left Jordan four months later.” We all cheered!!!
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“He opened the envelope and pulled out a large color photo of a cute brown baby girl with green eyes so bright they seemed to leap off the photo paper. “ GREEN EYES????????
“Terrina Richmond.” THATS HIS BABY????
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“Terry Richmond booked a flight to Charleston. He had to get his woman back and meet his new daughter.” We all cheered (again)
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Lick Back by Uzumaki Rebellion
Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black Female OC
Warning(s): 18+, Explicit Sex, Angst, Cheating, Unprotected Sex, Illicit Extramarital Affair, Adultery, Pregnancy Sex, Breeding Kink, AITA!Terry Richmond.
Summary: Terry Richmond is stationed at the Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base where he teaches incoming soldiers close quarters combat techniques as a MCMAP instructor. While hanging with rowdy fresh blood recruits at a bar, he meets Nova, the new wife of a fellow soldier who recently moved to Oceanside from South Carolina. Nova and her husband Jordan seem close at first, but Terry knows that Jordan cheats on her every chance he gets with secret weekend trysts. When Nova becomes pregnant and struggles to keep her marriage together, Terry steps in to cheer her up from Jordan's indifference. But he unintentionally embarks upon an illicit affair with Nova that turns his life upside down.
Word count: 18.2K
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"In this world, concrete flowers grow
Heartache, she only doin' what she know
Weekends, get it poppin' on the low
Better days comin' for sure"
Kendrick Lamar & Sza – "Luther"
Terry never planned on having an affair.
Like the cliché excuse used the world over, it just…happened.
He'd been drinking and playing pool with his marine buddies Kevin and Von when Jordan Patterson stumbled into their favorite off-base dive bar with a group of rambunctious grunts that disturbed the peace of other patrons.
"Hey, Patterson…pipe down," Terry called out.
Jordan raised a hand to wave at Terry before his jarhead crew stopped at the bar to order drinks. Their loud laughter and conversation sounded celebratory.
"Cut him some slack, T. The man just got married," Kevin said.
"Patterson? Married? To who?" Terry asked.
He noticed several women near the bar rolling their eyes at Jordan and his party. Sticking his thumb and index finger in his mouth, Terry whistled and gestured for the rowdy group to join his side of the bar where he could preserve the peace.
"Hey! Sergeant Richmond! You're back!" Jordan said.
"Yep. My leave ends in two days."
"How was Louisiana?" Jordan asked.
"Same as I left it."
"Family good?"
"Yep."
Jordan had a gregarious personality that came off bigger than life. He was about four inches shorter than Terry, with a chiseled, penny-brown face that turned heads wherever he went. A natural lady-killer. Terry liked him well enough as a soldier, but away from work, he wasn't much for running around in the streets like the younger Lance Corporal was. He gave dap to Jordan and the others, and the quiet calm he exuded filtered down to the others. Terry bought a round of drinks for the newlywed and his friends. They settled into a good time quickly.
An attractive entourage of women walked in and joined their group. Most were girlfriends or wives of the men he hung with. That's when Terry first noticed Nova. She was taller than a few of the other women who were Filipino and Black. One Mexican woman mixed into their group pointed toward them in the back, and Nova caught his eye. She looked unsure of the surroundings and he could smell the country aura she exuded. A loose ponytail held back her black hair, and she wore a cute orange jumper that showed off slender legs. She was light brown like him, but the type of brown that would get darker in the California sunshine given time. Terry sipped his glass of whiskey and concentrated on the pool game he played with Von.
"Sarge…sarge…lemme introduce you to my wife…Nova. Nova…this is the baddest MCMAP instructor on base…Terry Richmond."
Nova's warm brown eyes twinkled. He held out a hand to shake. She took it.
"How are you doing, Mrs. Patterson?"
Nova giggled.
"That still sounds so strange to hear," she said. "Pleased to meet you Terry."
Her southcack accent sounded like warm honey molasses on thick buttered toast, and for a second, he couldn't believe Jordan's wild ass could pull a sweet country girl clear across the nation. Terry glanced at Jordan, but the younger man already had his eye on some other beauty playing pool at another table. The youngin always had a wandering eye, but Terry figured he'd shut that shit down with a wife present.
"You coming to the spot tomorrow? We're throwing a barbecue to celebrate me and Nova," Jordan said.
"I'll be there," Terry said. He looked at Nova again. "Enjoy your time here."
Von missed a shot, and Terry returned to his game, soon forgetting about Nova.
The bar had a small area where a live band played, and the music was a mix of millennial R&B and pop hits. Terry left tip money on a nearby table for his server and headed for the door. He glimpsed Jordan dancing with Nova, and they appeared happy. In love. He wished them well in his heart and went home.
Little did he know that their brief encounter would morph into something bigger than he could've imagined.
Terry wasn't hurting for companionship. Six-foot-three, fit, good looking, and single, he enjoyed a wide variety of women from Long Beach to San Diego. Living in Oceanside long enough had him looking away from the small seaside town for women. Military life attracted a certain kind of woman he wasn't interested in near the base. He was pleasantly surprised that Nova was nothing like the husband-hungry women his military buddies dealt with. For one, she was a university graduate. He found that out on the weekly flag football game he played at a park with the guys and their partners.
Playing flag football with men and women was something he and Von started seven years ago to create a tight bond of friends, especially for the younger men coming into the fold. It soon became a casual mentorship that fostered goodwill and was a lot of fun. It also helped the women find friends to help deal with homesickness for those who were far away from home for the first time. They became a support system when the men were called to do their tour of duty.
The crew played before eating, and Terry covered quarterback duty for Team A. He brought his friend Angie, who everyone thought he was fucking, to hang out and play. She was his beard to keep the other women from setting him up with their female friends who were desperate for a marine to marry. Angie was gay and always played her part well, plus she was a skilled football player.
Nova played with Jordan on Team B, facing a man twice her size. The sun beat down on them, and the odor of grilled ribs and brown sugar barbecue sauce flared his nostrils at the start of the game. Von and his wife Bethany started cooking early before everyone else arrived so that the food would be ready after the first quick game. Kevin played the role as ref and blew the whistle to start the game after Terry took a long huddle to explain to a new soldier's girlfriend her position. Her name was Cath, a white-looking mixed Filipina who seemed more interested in looking cute rather than actually playing. She kept batting her lashes at Terry and fiddling with her stringy dyed hair the color of a bleeding sunset.
"Let's go Team A, we ain't got all day!" Kevin called out.
Terry clapped his hands, and his teammates spread out. Angie hiked the ball to him, and Terry took a step back, cradling the football in his hand, ready to spring his powerful arm forward. His two wide-receivers, a man and woman, jetted down the grassy field and—
Nova snatched his blue flag from around his waist in less than six seconds.
Terry stared at her with an incredulous expression as Jordan danced around and talked mad shit. Nova grinned and twirled his flag belt in her hand. Terry glared at Conner, who was supposed to block her.
"Aye, she's fast, man," Conner said. "I pushed her back, but she got around me."
Team A huddled again. Terry glanced at Nova. An impish smirk creased her pretty lips. Angie hiked the ball, and Nova gunned it for him, blowing past Connor's bulky frame like he was a toddler. Terry ran and threw the ball fast. In fact, Nova kept him running and switching up his plays. When Team B finally had their chance to move the ball around, Terry and the others witnessed Nova's athleticism. Her lean build and speed were amazing. They switched up the teams after eating, and Terry took a break to watch and drink beer from the sidelines. He thought it was cute the way Jordan slapped his wife's butt each time she made a huge play. They were lovey-dovey and Terry hoped she would curb his explosive temper that he sometimes brought to the games. Jordan could be hard on new guys hanging out to play with them, and the addition of alcohol with testosterone didn't help.
Nova skipped playing the last game of the day and sat near Von's wife and Angie, chatting. Other women joined them as the guys stood or sat around arguing about their fantasy football picks or why Bronny James should ride his nepo ass on the Laker team bus. Terry ate another rib and licked his fingers, listening to the clash of several conversations. Jordan pulled a folding chair next to his wife and threaded his fingers with hers.
"Tired of them niggas arguing about the same shit every weekend," Jordan said.
"What do you think of California?" Angie asked Nova.
Jordan kissed her hand, and Nova fixed her eyes on Angie.
"It's different. A little faster than what I'm used to."
"You'll get used to it, baby," Jordan said.
The football landed in his lap. Kevin jogged over.
"You wanna play a quick game? These cholos nearby want to play," Kevin said.
Jordan glanced at Terry.
"You in man?" Jordan asked.
"I'm good."
Jordan bounced up from his seat and darted out to the field.
"He is so happy," Bethany said.
Nova gave a winsome smile while staring at her husband.
"We both are."
"How long were you dating before getting married?" Angie asked.
"Oh, Jordy's been my childhood sweetheart since I was thirteen."
"Really? Oh gosh, that's so cute," Bethany said.
Bethany gave a look to Terry. They both knew Jordan had been seeing other women while stationed there.
"We'd been on and off since high school. I went to the University of South Carolina in Columbia and got my degree in communications. I have to wait a year to get residency here, and then I'm going to apply to SDSU and get my masters in communications."
"What do you want to do?"
"News broadcasting. I'm starting an internship at KGTV next month. That means a lot of commuting to San Diego."
"It's not bad, thirty to forty minutes," Angie said.
"Jordy proposed to me last year when he came home to visit. I told him I wasn't getting married until I had my degree in my hand first."
"I know that's right," Bethany said, tossing back her Senegalese twists. "Von and I were married ten years ago. Two kids later and I'm still wishing I finished my education. I'm thinking about doing some online classes next year."
"Do it!" Angie said, patting Bethany's leg.
Nova sighed and watched Jordan play football.
Terry discreetly studied her and wondered if she knew her husband cheated on her all the time while she was in South Carolina. He couldn't let go of the disappointment he felt in Jordan who'd been his pet project for three years because the big brass felt he had the potential to be an outstanding soldier, but needed a personal hand to keep him in line. Terry took on that responsibility and kept the man under his wing. Jordan's biggest problem was his immaturity. At twenty-five, he was only two years younger than Terry, but their maturity levels were worlds apart. Nova seemed like a smart woman and had to know her man wasn't up to her level. He didn't want to assume anything because men often acted differently around their women sometimes. Terry just hated seeing good Black women choosing lames.
She caught him looking at her.
"You play football well," he blurted.
"Jordy and I played all the time back home. Our families are close and full of boys, so I got in to fit in. I ran track too, so that helps."
"Yeah, it does, cuz you did not let me rest out there."
They all laughed.
She kept him laughing. The others, too. Nova fit the group perfectly. She was funny and encouraging and smitten with Jordan.
While packing up, Bethany cornered Terry near his truck.
"Did you know Jordan was engaged all this time?"
"No."
"That man was at my house last month with some random woman. I feel so icky talking with his wife knowing he's been unfaithful with other women."
"Maybe they had an understanding while they were long distance."
"Stop making excuses for him, Terry. You know that's some janky ass shit to bring a wife around us out of the blue. No Black woman from here to Timbuktu is going to accept that."
"That's why we're all going to mind our business."
Bethany moved closer to him, her hard light brown eyes almost glowing in her dark brown face. She lifted an accusatory finger at him and wagged it.
"You need to have a talk with him, or else I will. You're his leader that he respects and listens to. Von would just curse him out and make things worse. Nova is a beautiful woman who deserves respect. We're lucky he brought none of those other women to our football games. Suppose one of those birds popped up today?"
"Alright…alright…I'll check in with Jordan, but I won't lecture him."
"Good. Let him know I'm watching out for Nova."
Von wandered over, carrying leftover bags of supplies.
"What are you fussing about over here?" Von asked.
"Jordan," Bethany said.
Von grit his teeth comically.
"You didn't say anything to Nova, did you?" Von asked.
"I'm not hurting a woman I just met on the first day. Terry's going to talk to him."
"Babe, we gotta stay outta other grown folk's business."
"Jordan and the word 'grown' do not compute. The man runs around town like a horny teenager," Bethany complained.
"He's married to a good woman, and she's living here with him now. Let's all be cool and act like we don't know a damn thing."
"Terry…check that man or I'm pulling the pin and blowing his shit up," Bethany said, climbing into their mini-van.
Von and Bethany left him standing alone.
Jordan and Nova embraced each other near their car.
Maybe Jordan got his dick wetting season over with and would finally settle down.
Six months passed by, and Terry didn't feel the need to say anything to Jordan. The man fell into a marriage routine that convinced even Bethany that matrimony cured his loose dick. The couple invited everyone to their new military home for a housewarming party and, seeing them together, Terry had to admit there was some growth in Jordan's behavior. He was attentive to his wife, and didn't hang at the bars with the single men as much anymore. When he did pop out, he brought Nova with him, and they left early. No more bar crawls or skirt chasing. Domestic bliss. Kevin married his fiancé during a winter wedding, and Jordan gave a moving speech about how marriage changed a man for the better. Babies were born, and other men in his circle got engaged or settled into long-term relationships. The more he looked around, the more he felt like the lone bachelor clinging to singledom.
Terry didn't want to think about a wife and kids until after he was out of the military. He had a good gig going with MCMAP. A decent wage. The respect of his peers. The freedom to come and go as he pleased with no strings. Pussy was easy to come by, and no woman was special enough to entice him into monogamy.
His schedule grew hectic as the military geared up for a new deployment. He never had to go anywhere because the Marines recognized his value in training. An elite soldier in his rank, the higher ups wanted Terry to mold thousands more just like him during his stint. He went in hard on his charges, building up the best trained soldiers he could.
Nova adjusted to California life. She and Jordan had to share the use of one car to save money for her future schooling. She'd drop Jordan off to work and make the drive to San Diego for her internship. After a month, he heard from Bethany that Nova quit the internship because it became too stressful to meet the requirements with Jordan's schedule. They couldn't afford another car at the moment because the cost of military housing had gone up.
Nova ended up taking a part-time job at a public library as she waited for her residency to kick in for school. She'd gained weight and Jordan didn't seem too happy about it. Terry thought she looked good, filling out more from living a slower lifestyle than when she was running around on a university campus. At the flag football games, they bickered a lot, and Nova stopped playing altogether, sometimes not even showing up at the park. Bethany gave Terry a look at the absence, and he finally pulled Jordan aside.
"Hey man…what's going on with you? Everything cool at home?" Terry asked nonchalantly on a park bench.
"Aw man…y'know, life is lifing. Things aren't going the way we planned…or rather, the way she planned."
"What's up with Nova?"
Jordan glanced at the grass on the ground and picked at a scratch on his knee that he injured earlier that day from falling. Terry had to pull him away from another player before a fight broke out. A dude named Marcus had simply tripped over his feet and fell into Jordan, but Jordan flipped out about it, shoving Marcus in the chest.
"Man…this marriage shit is for the birds."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't wanna talk about it, Sarge."
"That's what I'm here for, Jordan."
He gave an exasperated sigh.
"I love Nova…I really do…but lately…she's been getting on my nerves."
"How?"
"Always asking me about shit that ain't really important right now. She wants another car for school, and I told her she should postpone going to SDSU, at least until I make a higher paygrade. She got a job to pay for a new car herself. Her library gig is within walking distance, so she doesn't need to have my car during the day. I need to use it more than her."
"For what? She drops you off and picks you up every day."
"Sometimes I wanna go to the bar with the fellas after work to chill."
"Then ride with them and hitch a ride home with 'em too…or catch an Uber or a Lyft."
"Man, I ain't doing all that."
"You expect her to do that, then?"
"She don't need the car every day," Jordan grumbled. "Walking will do her good, anyway. All she's doing is getting fat."
"That's how you talk about your wife?"
Jordan sucked his teeth.
"Her ass used to be fine as hell when she first got here."
"She's still fine."
Jordan glared at him.
"You lookin' at my wife funny?"
"No, what I'm saying is, Nova is still a beautiful woman. She's a lil thicker and in case you haven't noticed, no one else is complaining when she rides on base dropping your ass off early in the morning."
"I'ma get her a gym membership on base and whip that ass back into shape."
"You foul man."
"Not trying to have a sloppy booty wife."
Terry's jaw tightened. He thought Nova looked even better with the weight gain. She started wearing large T-shirts and sweatpants more, but he and the other guys on base appreciated the extra jiggles when she walked by. His daddy always told him a well-loved woman put on weight the first few years of marriage. That's how a man knew he was taking care of his wife.
Jordan looked off into the distance and Terry turned his head to see what he was checking out. One guy had brought an extra female friend to play football, a lithe Black woman from L.A. who modeled for department store flyers.
"Jordan, I hope you're staying true to your vows with Nova and not stepping out on her."
Jordan's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"What are you talking about?"
"You heard me. We all know you were fucking around before you brought her out here. None of us knew you had a fiancé, and you brought her back like a prized jewel. Now you're acting like you want to trade her in for some outhouse pussy cuz she put on a few pounds. You shouldn't have gotten married if you're acting like this."
"Jumping to conclusions and shit—"
"Nigga, I know you. Seen with my own eyes how you move. Is that why you want the car for yourself? To sneak around on Nova?"
Jordan wouldn't look Terry in the eye.
"You really are a piece of work. Here I am thinking you finally became a real man," Terry huffed.
He stood and narrowed his eyes at Jordan.
"Get your shit together. Stop trash talking your wife and take your ass home. Buy her some flowers and candy. Spoil her for even choosing your ungrateful ass."
"Whatever, man. You wouldn't understand… you ain't never been with anybody long-term."
"Because I have the maturity to know I'm not ready to settle down. Do better. Respect your wife. Don't let me catch wind of you fucking around on her."
"You her daddy or something?"
Terry held his tongue.
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Shit hit the fan on a fourth of July cookout at Nova and Jordan's house.
Terry arrived, bringing ice and his homemade salmon croquettes. He mingled with the joyous gathering of co-workers and friends. Nova played the cheerful hostess, wearing a red, white, and blue summer dress that accentuated her new curves. Her face looked rounder, and she kept tugging on the back of her dress.
"This thing keeps riding up," Nova joked with Bethany.
"Welcome to the world of big booty life," Bethany said, patting her own high shelf donk.
Terry played d.j. with the music, synching his phone with the sound system. He put together a Black Barbecue playlist and let Frankie Beverly and Maze remind people of their childhoods. Bethany shouted and raised her hands when Roy Ayer's "Everybody Loves the Sunshine" popped on and the music fit the vibe of Black folks getting brown in the sunshine of the Patterson's backyard cookout.
Kevin handed Terry a glass of beer from the keg someone brought for the occasion. He gulped it down to cool off and watched the ecstatic faces around him. Life was good.
Terry's friend Raymond arrived with a bunch of people bearing drinks and lemon meringue pies. Jordan and Nova stood near him and greeted the new guests. Terry noticed Jordan's shifty eyes as he tried to ignore Lourdes, a Mexican chick known to Terry's crew as a pass around good time.
"I remember you," Lourdes purred, rubbing her hand up Jordan's arm.
Jordan grinned and nervously threw an arm around Nova's waist.
"Hey, good seeing you at another cookout…this is my wife, Nova," Jordan said.
"Hi," Nova said.
"Wife?" Lourdes squeaked.
Nova's lips pressed tightly together and Lourdes fluttered her eyes back to Jordan.
"Haven't seen you at Ringer's for a minute. Thought you got deployed," Lourdes said.
Nova glared at Jordan and stomped away.
Terry switched the music to upbeat, loud fun, and a few people started dancing. Jordan went after Nova. Lourdes grabbed a glass of beer from Raymond and flitted among the men, ignoring the other women completely.
Terry heard shouting from in the house and he followed behind Bethany and Von to check it out. Inside the kitchen, Nova screamed at Jordan, who only leaned against the kitchen island with a grim expression.
"Nova…Jordan? Everything okay in here?" Bethany asked.
Nova's wet face and agitated state told the complete story. Terry looked at Jordan.
"He's a liar…and a cheat. His hoe is walking around my home!" Nova screamed.
Jordan lowered his head. Terry was glad the man had an ounce of shame in him.
"I told you that bitch was from a long time ago. You're making a big deal about a past relationship," Jordan said.
"Past relationship? Jordan, we've been together forever! You promised that you were done disrespecting me. I should've listened to my friends and never come out here!"
Nova grabbed a glass from the dish rack near the sink and threw it at Jordan. It clipped him in the head.
"Nova…fuck!" he screeched.
Jordan lunged forward to stop her from throwing a dish, but Terry stepped between them, blocking him with his back.
"Okay, let's all calm down," Terry said.
Von put an arm around Jordan's shoulder and walked him out of the kitchen. Bethany stayed behind.
"I'll tell Raymond to get that woman out of here," Terry said.
Bethany nodded, and Nova burst into tears.
"Oh, sweetie…let the men handle this," Bethany said, hugging Nova.
Terry sought Von and Jordan.
Lourdes and Raymond left in a hurry with their group, and everyone at the party gossiped in hushed tones as music continued blasting. On the side of the house, Von cursed out Jordan whose only response was, "I know…I know…I know…"
"Are you still fucking Lourdes?" Terry asked.
"That shit is old. Ain't my fault Raymond brought her over here. I didn't invite that woman."
"How old?" Terry asked, folding his arms across his chest.
"I dead that shit back in January."
"January? Nigga, you're married!" Von shouted.
"Keep your voice down," Jordan said.
Terry stuck a finger in his face.
"You betta not trip when she leaves your ass," Terry said.
"She ain't going nowhere."
"Why not?"
Jordan closed his eyes and rested his head against the side of his house.
"She's pregnant."
Von and Terry groaned and rolled their eyes.
"See, niggas like you is why Black women hate us now," Von barked.
"I'm gonna change…watch and see. I gotta man up now…I'ma be a father and my kid needs his father."
"If she were smart, she'd abort and go home," Von said.
"Von…yo…ease up, man," Terry said.
"Nah, T…Jordan doesn't want a wife…and he damn sure don't deserve no children with how he acts toward Nova. I wouldn't be surprised if Bethany is in there now telling her the same thing! I oughta kick your punk ass."
"Stand down, Washington," Terry said, using Von's surname in a tone used at work.
Von threw up his hands and walked away. Jordan pushed past Terry and entered a side door that went into the garage and back into the house. Terry followed.
Nova stood in the kitchen with Bethany. Terry nodded his head for Bethany to leave, and he posted up by the fridge to watch over Jordan.
"Baby, I'm sorry. Please…don't make that face. I know I'm always sorry about shit and I hurt you. Don't abort my baby."
Nova glanced at Terry. The pregnancy had been a secret, apparently.
"Get out of my face," Nova said.
"Nova—"
Terry put a hand on Jordan's shoulder.
"Give her some space, c'mon."
He led Jordan back to the party. Everyone else partied on, ignoring the messy marital discord. Jordan drank some beer and joined Kevin and Von in a corner with some married men. Terry sauntered over to the food table and made himself a plate. Bethany had smoke coming out of her ears, commiserating with other women.
The mood had soured within the hour, and folks gathered to-go plates and said their goodbyes. Terry made himself a plate of pork ribs and macaroni salad with a couple of hot links thrown on top for good measure. Kevin took Jordan to his house for the night with his wife, Vivian, to keep him away from Nova. They both needed to sleep apart and figure out their situation in the morning.
Terry held up a hand to everyone left behind and headed out. Two blocks down the street, the glare of the sunset struck his eyes. He reached for the top of his head and couldn't find his sunglasses. Pulling over, he searched the truck seat to see if they fell off. Then he remembered. He put them down on the patio table at Jordan's. If they had been cheap drugstore shades, he would've let it go. But they were three hundred dollar wrap-around Oakley's.
He made a U-turn and parked in the Patterson driveway. Sneaking toward the side of the house, he crept toward the high wooden gate that led to the yard. He wanted to run in and out of the backyard without disturbing Nova.
The gate was locked.
He walked back to the front and rang the doorbell.
Nova answered with pink eyes, still wearing her holiday dress.
"Hey…Nova…sorry to bother you, but I left my shades in your backyard. Can I go get them?"
"Sure," she said, stepping aside.
Terry moved through the living room and into the kitchen, pushing on the sliding glass doors. He found his shades perched on a speaker. He tucked them into the neck of his t-shirt and looked at the other speaker.
"I can move these back in the house for you," he offered.
Nova nodded. He didn't want her straining to carry them. It took him less than a minute to move them and the cords inside the living room. Jordan could set them back up when he returned home.
"All done. See ya next time," he said.
Nova nodded with her back to him, facing the kitchen sink. Her shoulders shook and Terry felt awkward being there while she cried.
"You'll be okay, right? Maybe call a friend over?" he suggested.
"What friends? Everyone is Jordan's friend."
"Bethany?"
She shook her head.
"I can't bother her. She has kids and stuff to do. I'll be okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Thanks for bringing the speakers in."
"No problem…alright. I'm going to bounce."
Nova turned her head to the side.
"Everyone knew, didn't they? That he's been cheating on me this entire time?"
"Nova…uh…"
She glanced at him with glossy eyes and a crinkle in her forehead.
"You don't have to lie to me, too, Terry. I've always suspected, but couldn't prove it back home. He swore up and down that he's been faithful and only loved me. Jordan made me look like the biggest dumb fool today. How many other women have come through my house and fucked my husband while smiling in my face?"
"We thought he would change…we didn't even know about you until you arrived a year ago."
"Not one of you said anything."
Terry moved over to the sink and stood next to her.
"Look, a few of us talked about it. Bethany wanted to tell you from day one, but we…the fellas…we thought Jordan would shape up. It became a matter of us not wanting to hurt you."
She closed her eyes. A single tear ran down her face. He felt like shit.
"Bros before hoes," she said.
"It's fucked up, but…yeah, that's what it came down to. None of us wanted this for you."
"Well… I got it, anyway."
Her face crumpled. She covered her eyes with her right hand.
"He's not attracted to me anymore…I've gained all this weight…now I'm pregnant and can't trust anyone around me!"
Her cry of pain bruised his insides.
Terry stood paralyzed next to her, not wanting to be inappropriate, although he thought he was supposed to hug her or something. No comforting words came to mind that sounded good enough for her. He pulled out his cell phone and called Von.
"Yo…man…can you put Bethany on the phone? I'm at Jordan's place and Nova is having a hard time…Bethany? Hey, can I ask for a big favor? Could you come over to Nova's? Yeah…it's bad…okay. Okay. Thanks."
He swiped his phone and stuck it in his back pocket.
"Bethany is coming over right now—"
Nova pushed her face against his chest and wept. The top of her hair tickled his chin, and he held his arms out, not knowing where to place them. He finally hugged her, and she broke down more, her warm tears soaking his shirt.
"I'm sorry you're going through this, Nova…I really am."
He stroked her back as she poured her wounded soul into his broad chest.
"Shh…shh…it hurts bad now, but it'll pass…I promise…" he whispered to her.
She nodded and leaned back, wiping her face.
"You're too pretty to be scrunching up your face like you tasted some lemons," he teased.
Nova laughed and blinked away tears.
He became cognizant that he still held her close against him. She smelled like sugar cookies and all the weight Jordan complained about felt good in his arms.
"Your smile lights up a room, and if that fool can't appreciate it, someone else will," he said.
Nova gazed into his eyes. With her hair up in a bun, Terry could enjoy every part of her sweet face. They'd never been that close together, and he became self-conscious. He dropped his hands to his sides, but kept his eyes on hers. Nova stood on tip-toe and kissed his cheek.
"Thank you for caring so much," she said.
Uncomfortable. That was the first feeling that ran through him. He shouldn't be there with her. Alone. Seconds ticked by and they both stood there, looking at one another. Her eyes focused on his lips and she kissed him on the mouth.
Like an idiot, he kissed her back, parting his lips so her tongue could probe his mouth and find the comfort she needed. She didn't hold back, circling his neck with her arms and pressing into him hard, wanting to feel his muscles against her heavenly frame. Terry tilted his head more and thrust his tongue further into her mouth. He swallowed the soft moan Nova released against his lips. He licked her bottom lip and kissed her fully until they both started moaning from the illicit encounter.
One nasty thought kicked around in his brain.
He could fuck her raw and cum all inside her. Since she was already pregnant, there'd be no need to have a condom barrier to prevent knocking her up. His breeding kink revved up, and he seriously thought about fucking Nova in her marital bed to teach Jordan a lesson. Fill her up with his cum…treat her the way she deserved to be treated by a real man who appreciated a woman no matter what her size was. Jordan was crazy to think a once slender Nova didn't compete with the thicker one in his arms. And she was about to get even bigger while pregnant?
His dick got hard.
Nova felt it poking against her.
"We gotta stop," he whispered into her mouth.
"Why? I should be allowed to get my lick back with someone better than my husband."
Terry pulled away, afraid of the consequences if Nova kept talking to him reckless like that.
His erection tented his pants. It was undeniable how much he wanted her. Nova licked her lips, staring at the thick bulge she could have. She boldly reached out and touched it…squeezed it to see how big it was. He moaned, and she ran her fingers up and down his length, teasing him until she reached the wide head that strained against his zipper. Pulling her fingers away, he had to take a stand or else they'd do something that couldn't be undone.
"Bethany will be here. I better go."
Terry swiftly parted from her and rushed to his truck. The irrational part of his mind wanted to lay some good pipe down on her. He wiped her lipstick off of his mouth once he sat in the driver's seat. His dick throbbed in his pants.
Nova was married. Calm the fuck down.
Yes, Jordan Patterson was a selfish knucklehead, but that didn't mean snatching up the man's wife because he dogged her out.
Terry started his car and drove away before Bethany showed up. He spent the next two days relaxing in his bachelor's quarters on base. At work, he ran into Jordan briefly, but it was in passing to teach one of his martial arts classes. Jordan looked sheepish and apologetic, and Terry just gave a nod and kept on moving.
He skipped two weeks of flag football, not wanting to hear gossip or run into Nova. No one questioned his non-socializing. He sometimes dropped out of sight when his workload increased to cover staff leave or new training.
A third week of avoiding his friends continued, and his phone rang with a number he didn't recognize. He answered without thinking.
"Hello?"
"Hi Terry. It's me…Nova."
"Nova…hey…I don't—"
"I'm sorry. If you're avoiding everyone because of me…you don't have to stay away from your friends. I kissed you and it was wrong. I made things weird for you."
Terry sighed.
"I don't want any problems, Nova. You and Jordan have to sort your relationship out without adding more trouble."
"I don't know why I did that, Terry. You were just being kind, and I liked how you made me feel…wanted. Seen. I'm two months pregnant and my hormones could be messing with me, too. I want to apologize and ask that you not hide anymore. It makes me feel awful, like I chased you away being inappropriate when I was feeling low."
"It's understandable…but I really have been busy. Don't stress out about anything. That night has been forgotten."
"Good."
"See you around," he said.
He hung up and deleted her number from his phone.
Hearing her voice did something to him. He called up Von and went to his house to have a beer and catch up. Bethany wasn't home, so the men could chat openly without her chiming in or judging.
"How's Jordan been doing with Nova?"
"Hard to say, really. They seem okay. But he's at the bar after work a lot. Kevin hung out with him a few times. Tried talking sense into him. Looks like they're going to work things out."
"Good for them."
"He's being deployed to the Indo-Pacific at the end of the year."
Terry exhaled with a loud breath.
"Damn, that sucks. He'll miss the birth."
"Yep. But distance has a way of making the heart grow fonder. That's what they say, right?"
"With Jordan, it seems to do the opposite."
"He wants Nova to go back to South Carolina while he's gone. She wants to stay here."
"She doesn't have a support system here, though."
"Bethany has adopted her as the little sister she always wanted. Nova is good people. We'll look after her."
Terry left Von and took a drive up the coast to see a friend in Long Beach. He returned to Camp Pendleton and got a fresh line-up from his barber and hooked up with his buds for a baseball viewing party at an on-base pub. The Padres lost, and he ended up playing pool for the rest of the night, listening to tall tales and body counts among his peers. Unexpectedly, Jordan and Nova showed up to hang out.
He couldn't look at her the same way.
She'd fixed her hair into a sexy new pixie cut that had soft gelled waves making her look like a starlet and even more attractive. Their eyes met and something definitely changed between them. All he could think about was their kiss, and the way she wanted to feel on his dick. Her dewy gaze told him she was thinking the same thing, too. Terry avoided saying too much to her, giving a polite 'Hello' to them both before locking into his pool shots.
Jordan guzzled down beer and hammed it up with a few officers. Nova wandered over to his pool table, nursing a soda. She sipped and watched him play against his friend Luis, then slipped a quarter onto the end of the table, signaling she had the next game against whoever won. Of course, it was him because Luis was a lousy shot most of the time.
Nova chose a pool stick and chalked it down, eyeing him curiously with a playful smile. Terry glanced around, hoping someone else wanted to play instead, but the guys were too busy drinking and talking loud. The pub overflowed with patrons, blocking him and Nova from view of the others. He checked the watch on his arm.
"Gotta run. Early day tomorrow," he said.
He placed his pool stick on the rack and wiped his hands of chalk dust. Nova pursed her lips and her shoulders drooped. He forced himself to leave. Looking at her only increased a forbidden desire, and he'd be damned if he fell for a woman simply for lust. He had a roster of willing women on his phone if he needed sexual relief that badly. Nova was danger, and he read the warnings clearly.
He walked toward housing with hands shoved deep in his pants pockets. All he had to do was stay away from Jordan and their mutual friends until he deployed. Then he'd have no reason to worry about ever seeing Nova. By then, she'd have a baby and no longer feel like hanging out anywhere he'd likely be. The woman dredged up feelings he wasn't used to, like longing and nesting up with someone away from his male companions on base. Jordan Patterson had to be the luckiest motherfucker in the world and couldn't even appreciate what he had at his fingertips: a good woman who loved him with a pure heart.
Terry's parents raised him with morals and values. Thou shall not covet and Thou shall not commit adultery. Such simple tenets and yet his salacious mind quibbled over semantics, searching for loopholes. Could he really covet someone if the husband didn't really want the wife? If a husband broke the marital bond first, should the wife stay beholden to the rules? He shook his head, blaming the rambling thoughts on all the beer he drank. His brain marinated in liquor. Any unscrupulous thoughts he entertained weren't to be taken seriously. He believed that for a full thirty days, Nova-free.
Until the day Von called him over to hang out.
Bethany was out for the day with friends, and his kids were at a summer camp for the week. Von wanted to enjoy a house without his family in the presence of his best bud, and Terry was all for it. Bethany always bought the best snacks, so Terry and Von hunkered down, stuffing their faces with chips, Ding Dongs, string cheese, and Pepsi. They watched some action flicks and talked shit about their jobs and the people who irked them that week. Von and Terry had joined the marines on the buddy system. They were friends back in a small Louisiana parish and had each other's backs ever since. Terry was the one to introduce Von to Bethany. They attended a beach party in Mission Beach and Bethany hemmed Terry up, asking about his friend with the big chocolate malt ball-looking head and thick muscles. From that moment on, Terry, Von, and Bethany had become a family.
Von tapped his TV remote and flipped through a series of military espionage flicks. Terry leaned back and shoved a Hostess cupcake down his throat. The front door flung open and Bethany walked in carrying bags with Nova.
"Time to go," Terry said.
"No…stay. We've got Chinese food and wine. Where you been, stranger?" Bethany asked.
Von jumped up to help put the bags in the kitchen. Bethany gave Terry a kiss on the cheek. He nodded at Nova.
The woman glowed.
Ringlets of shiny black curls crowned her short cut and her skin looked like someone had dusted it with a light bronzer. Her white baby doll tank top and jean shorts reminded him of the Creole girls back home who walked to the corner store looking cute and summery.
"Wash up you two. We'll eat and catch up," Bethany ordered.
Terry headed for the nearest bathroom, and Nova followed him. He let her wash her hands first while he waited against the doorjamb. They switched places. She stared at his reflection in the mirror.
"It's good seeing you again, Terry. Jordan asks about you a lot."
"Been busy…work…y'know."
"Yeah. Guess you heard the news, huh? He's being shipped out. Bad timing for us…with the baby coming, and all."
He nodded and dried his hands.
"Excuse me," he said, stepping past her into the hallway.
"I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable…still."
"We're good."
He walked into the dining room where Bethany set up plates and Von poured white wine into three glasses.
"We put sparkling cider in your glass," Von said, winking at Nova.
Everyone sat down and passed around different containers of shrimp fried rice, chow mein, garlic paper chicken, and sweet and sour pork. They chowed down and talked, and Terry settled into falling for Nova against his will. A year of living in Oceanside had made her appear more confident and comfortable, and she didn't seem all that daunted by the idea of Jordan leaving. He listened to her and Bethany talk about having a baby shower before Jordan left, and they discussed birthing centers and hospitals. Nova genuinely looked happy, and Terry relaxed being with her. Any lascivious thoughts he had in the past about her left his mind. Bethany and Von treated her like family, and he fell in line with the sentiment. One indiscretion didn't doom him. He could turn the page and start fresh with Nova.
After dinner, Nova and Bethany went into the garage while Terry and Von cleaned up the dishes and put away leftovers. They sauntered back into the living room to watch more TV. Bethany and Nova passed them carrying boxes into the den.
"What's all that?" Von asked
"My old maternity clothes. I told you there was a good reason to keep them. Nova and I are going to look through these and find some things for her to take," Bethany said.
"Take it all, please!" Von joked.
Terry lounged on the couch, half watching the TV. He peeked at Nova and Bethany. The women chatted with excited voices and Bethany held up old clothing against Nova's body. Bethany kept drinking wine and snorting as she told maternity stories about birthing her own two girls. Nova sounded nervous and excited about welcoming a little one. He overheard her telling Bethany that the baby wasn't planned, but she hoped it would bring Jordan around to be a better man. Bethany tried to reassure her, but Terry doubted she believed a word she said to the younger woman.
It grew late, and Terry didn't want to overstay his welcome.
"I'ma head on out."
He slapped hands with Von and grabbed his keys from the coffee table.
"Terry, can you drop Nova at her house with the clothes?" Bethany asked.
Terry stood at the front door like a deer caught in headlights.
"I've had too much wine to be driving, plus it's on your way back to base," Bethany said.
She handed Terry a box to carry. Nova carried the second box.
"I can call an Uber," Nova said.
"Save your money, girl. Terry is right here and he can carry the boxes for you. Do you want to take some leftover Chinese food with you?"
"No thank you," Nova said.
"Terry?" Bethany said.
"No, I'm full and Chinese doesn't taste all that good heated back up to me."
Bethany took the large box from Nova and followed Terry out to his truck. They placed the maternity clothes in the truck bed. He opened the passenger door for Nova and she climbed in using the grab handle on his truck. Bethany patted his back.
"Thank you for taking her home. I don't feel safe taking a chance, plus it's supposed to rain in twenty minutes. Your truck is a battalion. Baby on board!"
Bethany hugged him. He accepted the affection.
"I owe you," she said.
Bethany tapped on the window, getting Nova's attention.
"Make sure you wash everything," Bethany said.
Nova nodded. Bethany leaned in toward him so Nova couldn't hear.
"Check on Jordan, will ya? Vivian told me he's been hanging with Kevin after work. I don't know why he's acting like he doesn't want to go home, but Nova needs his support."
Terry sighed and nodded.
"Truth is, I can drive, but I know if I see that man, I'll hurt his feelings. You know how to get through to him," she said.
"Night," he said.
Terry walked to the driver's side and climbed in. He started the car and lowered the air conditioning he had blasted earlier.
"Ready?" he said, trying to sound chipper.
"Yep."
They rode in silence, listening to the radio. It started sprinkling and traffic on the I-5 freeway slowed. By the time they neared her home, there was a full on downpour with sonic booms of thunder that rattled the truck. Nova cowered in her seat. With each thunderous clap, she jumped and trembled. The storm gathered gray ominous clouds that pressed the bolts of lightning lower in the atmosphere. Silver heat sliced erratic zig-zag lines across the horizon. The weather even made Terry feel uneasy. They arrived at her home just as a heavier shower drenched the roads.
"Go open the door, and I'll bring the boxes in," he said.
She hopped out with a mad dash to the front door. He lifted both the wet boxes from the back of his truck and strode indoors, expecting to see Jordan. No one else was in the house.
"Just bring those back here," she said.
She led him to the second bedroom that they were turning into a nursery. He placed the boxes against the closet door.
"Thank you for doing this…bringing me home and carrying all of that."
"No problem."
He glanced around and noticed cute little cartoon animal pictures on the walls. A brand new crib sat in an unopened box near the wall.
"I see you two are getting ready for the new bundle of joy," he said.
"Yeah, Jordan has a few things to put together for me. I am terrible at assembling stuff. We have a whole shelving unit and a baby play center waiting in the garage, still in boxes, too."
He followed her back into the living room. Nova shook rainwater off of her and checked her smartphone. She frowned. Her fingers flew across the text pad.
"Something wrong?"
"Jordan was supposed to be here by now."
She tapped her phone, and Terry heard the dial tone ring. A voice recording came on.
"Jordy, I'm back home. Where are you? Call me and let me know you're on your way back."
Nova placed the phone on a side table and wrung her hands. Hard rain pelted the roof. She pulled a curtain back from the front window.
"It's really coming down," she said.
Her voice carried the strain of worry.
"Jordy isn't a good driver in the rain…" she murmured.
She tried his number once more. Voicemail again. She didn't bother to leave a message.
"You mind if I use your restroom before I go?" he asked.
Nova nodded and sat down on her couch. Another powerful rumble vibrated across her roof. She turned on her TV and tried to ignore the sound outside. Her shoulders trembled.
Terry went to the guest bathroom, closed the door, and pulled out his phone. He called Jordan. The line rang four times and Jordan picked up.
"W'sup, sarge? Where you at? Come through Kevin's way, we're chopping it up over here."
Terry's jaw grew tight. The man ignored his wife but answered his phone for a friend? Trifling.
"I dropped your wife off at home. She's worried about you. You sound drunk and it's raining."
"Why did you drop her off? She's supposed to be with Bethany."
"Bethany was too tipsy to drive and asked me to drop Nova off on my way home. You need to answer your wife's calls."
"All she does is nag me. Every time I turn around, she wants me to put stuff together. We got six more months until the baby gets here."
"Call your wife…now."
Terry hung up and called Kevin.
"You missing out over here, Terry. Got a good spades game—"
"Kev, how sober is Jordan? Is he good to drive or nah?"
"That dude is buzzing."
"Don't let him drive. When the rain dies down, put him in an Uber and send his ass home."
"What's going on, man?"
"He needs to be with his wife. She's worried, and he's not answering her calls. The storm is scaring her, too."
"He said he talked to her."
"He's lying. She called him twice in front of me and he ignored her. I called, and he picked up."
Kevin sighed on the other end.
"This nigga…I'll have him call her."
"Right now, Kev."
"Okay. On it."
Kevin hung up. Terry flushed the toilet. He quickly washed his hands in the sink.
"I should not be babysitting a grown ass man," he mumbled to his reflection.
He took a deep breath and left the bathroom. Nova paced in the living room, arguing with Jordan on her cell. He eased his way toward the door, happy that they were at least talking to one another. Terry's phone vibrated in his pocket. Kevin.
"Aye, I'm going to keep Jordan here for the night. He's talking crazy to Nova on the phone," Kevin said.
Terry could only hear Jordan's muffled voice and Nova's bawling.
Fuck.
"What's he saying?"
"He's drunk off his ass…blaming her for fussing all the time and putting us in their business. All bullshit. Vivian thinks he might act up if he goes home."
Nova threw her phone on the couch and dashed down the hallway.
"Okay. Make sure he's back here in the morning."
Terry swiped his phone and waited by the front door.
"Nova? Kevin is going to keep Jordan at his place until tomorrow. He won't be driving in the rain."
"He can crash into a pole for all I care!"
He heard footsteps and the bathroom door slamming shut. The shower ran. She had a right to be upset. But it wasn't good for the baby. Terry's sister had miscarried from stress in her first trimester. Overactive hormones and an unhappy home weren't a good mix. He walked into the kitchen and searched a few cupboards and a pantry until he found some hot cocoa packets and tea. The cocoa seemed liked the best choice for her. He turned on an electric kettle and ripped open a cocoa packet. Finding a decent mug, he mixed hot water, milk and cocoa together. Thunder kept rumbling and a flash of lightning streaked outside the kitchen window.
Nova stepped out of the bathroom wearing a thick red bathrobe. She smoothed back her damp hair, and he held out the hot cocoa to her.
"This should help you calm down," he said.
She padded over to him and took the mug, cradling it against her robe.
"Thank you. For everything."
He nodded.
"Could you stay here for a few more minutes and talk? I don't want to be alone just yet…I get scared of thunder. Jordan usually calms me down, but when I'm alone listening to it…I get nervous…scared. I know nothing will happen to me, but the booming noises…I've always been afraid of that sound. You can watch TV if you don't feel like talking."
Her tremulous voice brought out the protector in him.
"I'm sure there's a late-night horror movie I can watch to go with the weather," he said.
She grinned with relief all over her face.
He joined her on the couch and picked out the Twilight Zone on a streaming service. They watched a couple of episodes while Nova sipped the cocoa. The TV froze for about fifteen minutes, and they chatted about her day with Bethany. She jumped with each thunderclap, but having him next to her seemed to help her deep-rooted fear. Eventually, the TV started working again.
"A lot of these episodes have soldiers or talk about war a lot," she said.
He nodded.
"Rod Serling fought in World War Two. I read a biography about him a few years ago. He used war themes as an allegory in a lot of his episodes."
"Interesting," she said. "Oh! This is one of my favorite episodes…that guy is a prisoner on a planet and has to live with a robot."
"I remember it. He falls in love with her."
"But he can't keep her when he's freed…not enough room on the return space ship."
She put the cocoa mug on the end table.
"So sad. Do you think you could love a robot?"
"Maybe…if it looked real enough. People fall in love with all kinds of things."
"Like in that movie 'Her'. When that guy fell for an app program," she said.
"That was a good movie. Had me looking at my phone apps different. I have one that does a guided meditation and the A.I. voice has a female British accent. I think it's a Black woman…the voice sounds so sexy, telling me what to do."
They both laughed.
"I think your voice would be good for a guided meditation," she said.
"Maybe. People tell me it's deep enough to do voice overs."
"Let's try it."
"What?"
"Do a guided meditation for me so I will fall asleep and you can go home. I know you're tired of sitting here with me being a scardy cat."
"I don't think you're a scardy cat. A chicken maybe…"
She tossed a decorative pillow at him.
"Lay back in a comfortable position," he said.
He moved away from the couch and planted himself on the loveseat, allowing her to stretch out.
"Close your eyes," he said.
She did.
"Imagine that you're on a faraway island somewhere…there's a warm, sunny beach with clear waters for as far as the eye can see. Lie down on the soft warm sand…let the warmth of the sand cover you completely in a blanket of peace. No storms…no worries about thunder…just peace and tranquility…"
Terry kept talking and Nova settled into breathing deeply and relaxing her limbs.
"You can feel yourself floating to a safe place of calm…"
Nova drifted off to sleep.
Terry sat on the loveseat, quietly watching over her. The tension in her face relaxed while she slept. He glanced around at the other furniture, looking for a blanket or throw cover. Nothing caught his eye. He lifted Nova and carried her into a neat bedroom. The curtains were open and another pass of rolling thunder shook the window. Fat drops of rain smacked against the glass, fogging it up with condensation. He placed Nova on the high, queen-sized bed and closed the curtains. Feeling around for the lamp on the nightstand, he turned on a light and pulled the covers back. He reached across the bed and lifted her again. The bathrobe looked cumbersome on her. He untied the belt to make her more comfortable and didn't realize she was naked underneath. Embarrassed, he covered her back up and tied the belt, tucking her in.
Nova's eyes fluttered open.
"Jordan?" she said.
Her eyes adjusted to the light and peered at him with surprise. She glanced at the bed and then the room. Her eyes watered.
"He's probably with someone else right now," she whispered. "All of his friends cover for him."
She squeezed her eyes shut. Terry sat down on the bed and held her. He stroked her hair and murmured comforting words in her ear. All he wanted to do was erase the sadness in her eyes.
A slow-burning anger simmered in Terry's chest. He couldn't understand Jordan. Couldn't understand the neglect of a good woman. What was the point of getting married if you didn't want to be around your wife?
Terry kicked off his shoes and socks and climbed onto the bed, resting his large body next to Nova. If Jordan didn't want to be there, then he would take his place and comfort a lonely wife. She tucked her head under his neck and he rubbed her back with gentle hands.
"You deserve so much more, Nova," he said.
"I think I'll go back home," she huffed into his chest.
"Do what you think is best for you and your baby."
"I've tried my best…but he won't stop…I don't know what he sees in those other women. Why would he ask me to marry him? Why get me pregnant if that isn't what he wanted?"
"All you have to do is rest. In the morning, you can call your people and decide what you want to do."
"Okay," she said with a shuddery breath.
She snuggled against him, and he moved the blankets to make more room for himself.
That's when she did the unthinkable.
Took off the bathrobe.
Terry froze.
Nova tossed the bathrobe on the floor and tugged on his shirt.
"Take it off. You're still a little damp from the rain," she said.
He pulled the T-shirt over his head. Fuck it…he took his sweatpants off, too. He tossed his boxers and sweats on the floor, and in the lamplight, Nova looked over his body with heat in her eyes. She traced his right pec with her finger, and then curled against his side, hugging him. Her breasts pressed against him like soft, fluffy pillows. He looked down at her pretty brown areolas and dared to touch a nipple. Nova leaned back so he could get access to both breasts.
God…she felt so good in his hands. Her nipples stiffened like cute little buttons, and his dick thickened. Any thoughts of right or wrong flew away from his mind. Jordan didn't want to be in the bed with her. He did.
He fondled her breasts, getting more aroused as she sighed with pleasure, enjoying his large hands. What a difference a year made in her body. The once slender physique filled out into a new form, one that had his dick propped up saluting her. He glanced between her legs. Her trimmed thatch of pubic hair looked so pretty, especially with her inner labia plumped up and waiting for his touches. He kissed her first, sliding his tongue into her mouth. She moaned and her legs fell open wider. The pink of her pussy glistening with arousal had him gripping his dick and stroking himself. Nova's eyes widened, looking at the size of his erection out in the open. Whatever she thought his dick length was didn't match what her eyes feasted on.
She started playing with her pussy, and Terry groaned so loud that her opening throbbed at the sound. Nova pushed him back and crawled on top of him, letting her wet pussy lips slide up and down his erection. She made the veins on his dick shiny with her slickness.
Up and down she went across his length, teasing the bulbous head of his dick. His pre-cum spilled out, adding more lubricant, and that's how she pleasured herself, grinding slowly on his dick, letting her delicate inner labia slide across the hardness.
She rose and wound her hips, moving that wet pussy in circles, teasing his hardness, making him pant like a desperate man. Her tits hung in his face, doubled in size from the first time he met her. He thrust up to get more exterior friction from her labia. The inner pussy lips spread across his girth, making slippery sounds. She looked at his long dick slathered in her clear sticky fluid. He watched threads of it shine in the light. She rubbed those sticky lower lips against him harder, rocking her hips forward and back.
Nova liked what she felt.
Her mouth became reckless.
"It wouldn't be wrong for us to fuck, Terry. I want to feel you inside of me," she said.
He grabbed her breasts and squeezed them. "Nova…shit," he said.
"Will you fuck me?" she asked.
She started gyrating on his dick and her labia hit a spot that curled his toes. The thick ridge of his frenulum rubbed against her clit, and Nova kept that slow, tortuous grind going.
The woman courted danger. Offered him married pussy on a platter. He'd already wandered into sketchy waters by climbing into bed with her. What the fuck did he think was going to happen doing that? He finally had to come clean with himself.
He wanted Nova.
Wanted her the first time they met. He'd been in denial about his feelings for her. Somehow she got under his skin, and Jordan made it easy by neglecting a husband's duty. He adored her from afar, always waging an internal battle to stay away, so afraid to confront what he tried to hide. Now Jordan's wife humped Terry's dick, asking to be fucked.
"Can I cum inside you without a condom?" he asked.
Nova's glassy-looking eyes were full of lust for him.
"You can cum as much as you want inside of me."
He shut his eyes. Asked God to forgive him for the disrespectful mess he was about to make in that woman's pussy. Her man wasn't due back until morning. Terry was built for long strokes and going all night. His erection grew stiffer with anticipation.
He flipped her over and kissed her passionately, allowing himself the luxury of taking his time. All pretense of being a dutiful wife left Nova. Her man had scorned her, and she wanted the forbidden fruit of new dick.
Terry kissed down her throat and in between her breasts. He sucked both nipples, using his tongue like a brush to paint the most delightful shapes all over her tits. Delving further down, he licked her pussy and kissed her clit, claiming it all for himself.
"This is all mine now," he said, while staring at her with his disarming green eyes.
Nova nodded and whimpered, "Yes…yes…yes…baby it's all yours."
He groaned into her vulva and her legs wrapped around his head. Nothing would stop him from pleasing her. He ate her pussy like a charcuterie board, smacking his lips and sampling her clit, tasting her delightful opening by thrusting the tip of his tongue in, then gliding his full lips down the middle, giving her gentle kisses. Terry gazed at her while doing it with sensual eyes that dared Nova to give in to his cravings for more. He pampered her vulva as if that night would be his only chance to have her. She came so hard on his lips that they dripped with her natural lubricant. Spent from her orgasm, Nova cried, turning her face toward the pillow.
"We can stop…if you can't handle this…we can stop and forget it ever happened," he said, trying to soothe her.
She shook her head.
"I don't want to stop. I'm just…happy. Haven't had an orgasm like that in so long. I forgot how good they can feel," she said.
She hugged him tight and bawled in his arms.
"It feels good to be wanted again, Terry…thank you."
A smidgen of guilt tried to latch hold, but he threw it off like his morals.
"Don't cry, let me make you feel even better…I'll make you forget all your troubles," he whispered in her ear.
He gently pushed her legs back and draped them over his biceps. Nova watched the head of his dick rub on her clit, testing her sensitivity. She hissed and clamped her lips together when he pushed the tip in. Her pussy was tight at the entrance, and he waited for her to relax before he pushed in further.
"Ooh…Terry…its big…oh…wait…wait…oh God…oh God…"
Nova's eyes rolled back as he thrust in deeper. She tilted her hips, and he hit the bottom of her pussy so fast that he groaned out her name. Her walls clenched around him.
"Oh, fuck, Nova…baby this pussy is so tight…you're gripping me so good baby…you been wanting this dick, huh?"
"Yes…yes…yes…"
He pumped inside of her with assured thrusts, making sure she felt every inch dedicated to her pleasure.
"Oh, you feel so good, Terry…"
He hunched down lower, wanting to feel her breasts against his chest. Everything about her made him feel giddy and alive. He wondered if this was what love felt like while making love. His heart swelled with so many emotions. Happiness, desire…even revenge. Revenge for the lack of care Jordan had for his wife. He wanted Nova to get the best dick he could offer her.
They kissed while he gave her deep dick. Their tongues colluded in an illicit affair of their own, and Nova whimpered his name inside his mouth, casting her love magic all over him. He wanted to clap her cheeks and helped her turn onto her hands and knees as his balls slapped against her ass and clit with each doggy-style thrust. She gripped the sheets tight and looked back at him with a shocked face.
"You're stretching my pussy…Terry…it's so big."
"You're taking it so good, baby…I got you."
He reached around and played with her clit, giving it slow, circular strokes. Her ass bounced with his pounding and she locked her eyes on him, wanting to watch the satisfaction on his face.
"You like it?" she asked.
She knew damn well he did by the way he grunted and cursed with each stroke.
"I love it."
"You want to cum inside me?"
His mouth fell open, and his eyes narrowed. Her walls yanked on his dick. She had something to prove. He wished he'd been the one to put a baby in her. She threw that ass back on him and his nutsack pulsed, already gearing up for a release. He wanted her on her back. He wanted to nut deep inside of her in missionary. Pretend he was making a baby with her.
"Turn around…yeah baby…on your back…ooh yes, leave your legs wide open like that," he said.
Terry made love to her like she was his woman. Nova whipped her head back and forth and when he pinned her down, they locked eyes.
"Cum inside me…please…Terry…"
Nova touched his cheek, and he closed his eyes, unable to take the intensity she poured out from her gaze. She let him get deep in her guts. Her pussy stretched around him like she belonged on his dick and no one else. He stroked her clit, and she chewed on her lip. A look of ecstasy danced in her eyes and he begged her to cum on his dick first.
She broke apart easily…endlessly. Her orgasm flushed her light brown skin in a sheen of sweat that soaked his body and the sheets. Terry watched her climax with a feeling of gratitude. God allowed him to witness her pleasure, and it captivated him.
"Nova…I'm cumming…fuck…I'm cumming…all deep in your pussy baby…you're making me nut so hard! Fuck..I want to get you pregnant myself. Ohhhhhhh! Fuuckkk!"
She babbled something incoherent, but it didn't matter. Her tight pussy rocked his fucking world. The first spurt of semen made his anus clench and a heavy outpouring of cum spilled into her like it would never stop. He dug his toes into the mattress and rode out the wave of orgasmic pleasure that flowed out of him and into her like electricity. Knowing he was filling her up with so much jizz brought on another surge of semen that knocked him off his feet. He hollered out her name and jammed a hand on the headboard to keep from falling over as a rush of contractions squeezed his balls into pussy submission.
Gasping for air, Terry blinked sweat from his eyes and leaned back, pulling his dick out.
So much cum ran out of Nova's glossy pink opening. He stretched her open so much that he could see the tunnel he made in her walls. It was all flooded with white.
"Damn," he said.
He kissed her on the lips and held her close until she had to pee. She left his side briefly and returned, giving him soft kisses on his cheeks and lips. He took a restroom break and cleaned his dick for round two. Nova was up for it. She was over three months pregnant and her body acted like it wanted to get knocked up again. He let her ride his dick, and he enjoyed her so much it made his heart ache. Perhaps it was the illicit nature of the sex and the danger of Jordan walking in on them, but Terry and Nova made wild love like the night would never end.
"You're so beautiful. Look how pretty you look fucking my dick…such a good girl riding this big dick like that. Oh, bounce on it…yesssss…just like that. Let me stretch you out some more. Go up…all the way up…hold it…now slide back down…yes…you love this dick…dontcha? Tell me…tell me you love this dick."
"I love this dick…oh Terry…I love this dick…harder…fuck me harder."
"You sound like you want me to make another mess in that tight pussy."
"I do…oh! Right there!"
"Right there? Like that?"
"Yes!"
The give and take was unreal and by their final tryst, he'd drained his balls while holding her breasts in reverse cowgirl. He imagined her big tits spurting milk for the baby and nutted so hard that his eyes crossed. Nova leaned forward so he could watch his cum flow out of her in creamy rivulets. She helped push it out. He wiggled his fingers inside her to feel his liquid warmth coating her walls. He helped her change the ruined sheets afterward, and they snuggled up like husband and wife.
He put her to sleep and spent the last hours of the night watching over her and stroking her hair. By morning, he gave her a big kiss on her forehead and snuck away as she slept.
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He thought their night together would be a onetime thing.
How wrong he had been.
That one night created a bond so tight that it was difficult to function anymore around their friends with normal interactions. He hated for her to be stuck with Jordan, and he hated being around them together because his eyes never stayed off of her. She was the same way. Any mention of leaving Jordan and going back to South Carolina never happened again. They had embarked on something that neither of them wanted to end. Her pregnancy didn't hamper anything. It actually enhanced their encounters.
At flag football games they pretended to be casual, but the longing gazes between them became overt and he ended up wearing his Oakley shades a lot. Von and Bethany threw more late summer barbecues at their home and he'd sneak into the bathroom to meet up with Nova just to kiss and fondle her body.
"I miss you," she'd whisper.
"I miss you more."
She sat on the closed toilet seat and sucked his dick, squeezing his balls and swallowing his load.
Her baby bump started showing by early fall, and he fucked her from behind in her own kitchen while Jordan sat outside in his backyard talking to their mutual male friends.
Terry was brazen about it.
Nova washed dishes in the sink, and he pretended to make a private call on his cell. He unfastened his jeans. The guys joked around outside, getting drunk and telling bawdy overseas stories. He lifted Nova's dress and slid her panties to the side, stuffing his heavy dick inside her pussy. She panted and begged for more. He clutched a breast with one hand and palmed her rounded belly with the other.
"You miss this dick?" he breathed into her ear.
"Always, baby. You make my pussy feel so good."
She watched the back of her husband's head as Jordan laughed it up, not knowing his wife's pussy was getting smashed to smithereens three feet away. He pumped in and out, listening to the squelching noises and enjoying the tight squeezes she gave him with each lewd thrust.
"The baby okay?" he asked.
"It's okay…oh Terry, you feel so good. I wish we could fuck in the bed. I want to ride your dick so bad right now."
"I know, baby. But we have to enjoy this for now."
She whimpered and clutched the sink for balance. He tried to control his moans, but her pussy weakened him.
"Ready for me to cum inside you?" he rasped in her ear.
The root of his dick pulsed, and he stopped holding her belly to stroke her swollen clit. It was sinful. So wrong. They didn't care. It felt good…felt right. He bit into her shoulder to stifle a loud groan as he spurt into her pussy. She came with him and they struggled to keep quiet, knowing that all it took to court disaster fully was for Jordan to turn around and see him pressed against his wife.
Terry pulled out, and a bit of semen fell to the floor. He didn't care. Nova fixed her panties, and they stepped away from the window so they could secretly kiss.
"I'm getting a new place soon," he said.
Her eyes lit up.
"Nothing fancy, just a one bedroom where we can be alone. Can't have you sneaking on base again," he said.
A week previous, Nova came on base during the night and they fucked in his truck. His buddy Ken walked through the parking lot to his car, but stopped when he saw Terry lifting Nova up and down in the pushed back driver's seat. Luckily, Ken didn't see her face in the darkness. Getting his own place seemed like the smartest move. They didn't want to risk hotels or motels.
Terry walked back outside with his phone in his hand and watched Nova walk out ten minutes later, bringing Jordan a beer. She sat next to her husband and Terry secretly loved the fact that Nova was full of his cum, acting like they didn't just bump uglies. He didn't care anymore. Nova was his woman…she just happened to be married to another man.
During her third trimester, Nova and Jordan planned a road trip to San Francisco for Thanksgiving. All of his friends had trips to other places. Von and Bethany planned for a trip to Indiana to see her family. Terry finally had his own place, and the day before she was to leave, Nova snuck away to see him. Their hookups became few. She waddled to the condo he ended up leasing. He waited for her by the elevator, and once she reached the third floor, they hugged each other so tight that he thought he'd never see her again. Her plump face and swollen feet made him smile.
He held her hand and walked her to his tastefully furnished home. Inside, he rubbed her feet and listened to her litany of body complaints. He didn't mind her complaining. Listening to her voice poured life into his spirit. Terry didn't realize how alone he was until Nova came into his life. Everyone in his clique had someone to come home to. He longed for the same.
He cooked Nova a healthy dinner of baked chicken and sliced squash with homemade garlic mashed potatoes the way his mama made it.
"How come you aren't going home for the holidays?" she said, stuffing her mouth with a second helping of potatoes.
"My family is going on a cruise out of New Orleans. Plus…I don't want to be far away from you."
Nova put down her fork and wiped her mouth with a napkin. He put away the food and helped her rest on his bed. She slept for a long time and he spooned around her, rubbing her belly. He loved her. Loved the child inside of her.
Terry secretly wanted her to divorce Jordan and marry him instead.
She woke up and checked her phone on his nightstand.
"Baby, I'm sorry I slept so long," she said.
"I don't mind. I just want to be with you sleeping or awake."
"My doctor said I can still have sex…we can fool around before I go."
"You feel up to it?"
"I want to make you happy."
"You lying next to me makes me happy."
She hugged him, and he cradled her in his arms.
"I feel a kick," she said.
Nova moved his hand to where she lifted her maternity shirt. He spread his long fingers across some stretch marks on her side. He smiled.
"Somebody is punching up a storm in there," he said.
Nova clutched onto his arm.
"I want to be with you for Thanksgiving. I'm going to be miserable in San Francisco," she said.
"You get to see your parents."
"I know, but then they'll be down here through Christmas. That means…"
She pushed her face into his chest.
"Aw, Nova, I know. Our time is narrowing down. We knew it would happen the closer it came time for your birth," he said.
"When the baby comes…will you leave me?"
Terry wiped tears from her face. Their whirlwind affair was taking a toll on them both. What sane man starts a romance with a married pregnant woman?
"Let's enjoy right now. Don't worry your beautiful mind about the future. We're here…now."
They kissed. He helped her undress slowly and then shook off his clothes, anchoring himself around her. Pillows eased the weight of her belly. She turned on her side further and he entered her slowly. He squeezed and fondled her breasts that were engorged with milk, ready to feed an infant. Terry imagined himself being with her while she fed the baby, imagined what it would be like to hold it in his arms. He pinched her nipple and rocked into her wet softness. Her pussy still took care of him.
Nova moaned with pleasure, and the sound heightened his arousal. Life played a cruel trick on them, bringing him the love he never knew he needed at the wrong point in time. He should've been the one to have her first. Terry would've run home to Louisiana with her in triumph, showing his family the love of his life. He would've set Nova up in a big country house and put a ton of babies in her. Her nipples leaked milk. He pinched one of them, letting the liquid express in a messy drizzle down her breast. The sight of it caused his balls to throb, and he pushed hot cum into her pussy.
"Ooh…it's so warm," Nova said.
He pinched her other nipple, and another trickle of milk wet his fingers.
"Fuck…fuck…Nova…"
His body tensed, watching her big tits drip milk while his dick pulsed inside her, shooting cum deep in her womb. He hollered out his climax loud enough for the neighbors to hear through the walls. His pelvic muscles contracted rhythmically, taking the thrusts of his hips out of his control. Another urge to ejaculate built up again, like the snapping of a rubber band back to square one.
"Soak that pussy, Terry," Nova urged him.
He obliged by resting for a minute to indulge in the sensations coursing through him by being inside of her. His ability to get another erection quickly was a blessing. He didn't worry about falling asleep on her because his refractory period was far off. Their time together was precious, and he was going to savor every second with Nova. His dick understood that and acted accordingly.
She left the bed to urinate, and they got right back to it on her return. He held her leg up the second time and she cried, telling him she loved the way he fucked her. She looked back at him.
"I love you, Terry…I love you…"
Her words struck him hard, and he roared his satisfaction by flooding her walls.
Nova's phone vibrated. They both peeped Jordan's avatar.
Terry turned away from her. Nova answered the phone, her voice flustered.
"Hey, I'm out shopping. I'll be home soon. Okay…yes, everything is packed. I put your blue tie in it with the red one… I'm calling an Uber now," she said, with rushed breath.
She hung up.
"Jordan's home. He wants to take me to dinner and leave early. It's supposed to rain tomorrow, and he wants to avoid all the traffic."
"That's smart. Gotta get you and the baby to your parents in one piece."
"I'm going to use your shower."
He nodded and watched her leave for the bathroom. The guilt and gnawing jealousy worked his nerves. He slammed a fist on the mattress and fought back uncontrollable tears.
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Nova gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
Terry heard about it through Bethany. He didn't communicate with Nova while her parents were staying in Oceanside for a month.
"Your godson is on his way," Bethany said on the phone.
Terry lifted weights at the gym. He had a martial arts class to teach in an hour and needed to finish a leg day before instructing.
"Oh, yeah?"
He tried to sound normal, but his heart thumped worrying about Nova.
"This boy must've known his daddy needed to see him before he shipped out. I'll call you when he gets here. I'm in the hospital waiting room with her parents."
"Okay, thanks."
Terry grew nauseous with anxiety. Nova was a strong woman. He wanted to be by her side, but it wasn't his place. He showered and went to his class on auto-pilot. His students put it all on the mat and he compartmentalized his thoughts to focus on them and not on his lover.
Godson.
Jordan Patterson Jr. came into the world at six pounds, two ounces. Bethany sent him pictures, and Terry stared at the little wonder with awe. Jordan approached him about being the boy's godfather after they did an ultrasound and found out they were having a son. He begged off from the title, but Von and Bethany insisted he couldn't let the couple down because they looked up to him. It was a punch to the gut, but he reluctantly accepted with Von's urging.
"That man needs guidance, T. Being a godfather means you can be his role model on another level," Von said.
Terry laughed from crying. Jordan Jr. should've been Terry Jr.
He sucked it up.
Nova stayed in the hospital for two days. Terry went to visit her late in the evening, after he hoped everyone was away. Unfortunately, her mother and mother-in-law were there, fussing over Nova and the baby. He walked in carrying rainbow balloons and a powder blue teddy bear.
The new mother rested in her hospital bed breastfeeding Junior. He watched her for a moment until her eyes rose to meet his. His vision grew blurry staring at her. She was so beautiful. Nova lowered a blanket on her shoulder over the baby's head and her breast. He knocked on the door, getting the other women's attention.
"Momma, this is Terry, Junior's godfather."
Mrs. Easton, Nova's mother, smiled and welcomed him in. He greeted Jordan's mother and handed her the teddy bear and balloons.
"I can sleep on my stomach now," Nova joked.
She pulled her hospital gown back over her breast and removed the small white blanket covering the baby's face. She burped him on her shoulder first, then held him out for Terry to hold.
"Hey little dude…look at you," he said.
Nova's lips trembled, and her eyes welled up. She blinked back tears and her mother came over to kiss her goodbye.
"Visiting hours are about to end. I'm going to go have dinner with Cindy," Mrs. Easton said.
"I should go, too," he said, pretending to leave.
The two older women left first, and he waited a minute before sitting down next to Nova, cradling the baby against his chest.
"He's a beautiful boy, Nova. You did good, baby."
"Thank you."
They hadn't seen one another for over a month. He would've given the world to scoop them both up and run off to his place. She was a mother now. His fantasy romance had to end. He sat quietly with her, unable to say anything of significance. She knew it was over, too. Her energy and time had to go toward the bundle in his hands. He leaned over and kissed her. Their love lingered in the space between their lips. All the unsaid things lived in the kiss.
Terry studied Junior's face. Tight black curls and cocoa brown skin. All Jordan. A nurse stopped by and he handed the baby back to Nova. He lowered his head and kissed her forehead. Neither of them said goodbye.
Jordan left for the Indo-Pacific tour a week later.
Nova's mother stayed in town, and her father flew back home. He stayed busy with work and flag football. Von and Bethany invited him over for a birthday dinner in his honor two months later. Nova showed up with the baby. She looked stunning. The new-mother weight had shifted and morphed into something different. She looked like a sexy coke bottle bombshell. Without the maternity clothes, her new wardrobe highlighted her wider ass and fuller breasts. She still had a little belly fat with her stomach, and he liked it. The changes gave her a maternal shine that he couldn't get over. She seemed delighted to be around him again, and they both acted with decorum, despite his yearning to hold and kiss her.
Jordan Jr. was round and chunky, like the Michelin Man. Terry walked around with the boy like the proud godfather he was. Everyone at his party complimented him on how comfortable he looked with a baby and kidded him about getting married like everyone else. He only grinned and bounced Junior in his arms. At one point, folks started dancing, and Terry playfully grabbed Nova's hand and spun her around among their friends. Bethany held the baby, and it gave him the opportunity to touch Nova. He swung her out with some old-fashioned partner dancing to SWV and they lived inside a liminal space carved out just for them. Watching her laugh, feeling her warmth against him, having her catch his hand after he released her in time to the music was the best birthday gift he could have.
Von introduced him to a woman named April, and Terry became annoyed at the attempt at setting him up on his birthday. When the party became more raucous in the evening, Nova left. Terry followed her down the street to her car. She carried Junior in a car seat.
"Do you have to go?" he asked.
Nova placed her son in the back seat.
"Junior is a light sleeper. The noise will get to him. I had a great time today seeing everyone all together again. Happy Birthday, Terry."
She hugged him.
The moment they touched, everything felt the same. He sighed while holding her. Their lips couldn't stay apart and they kissed out in the open.
"I want to see you again," he said.
"We can't… things are different. I have the baby."
"Bring him. Let's just have dinner at my place. I'm supposed to spend time with my godson, right?"
She smirked.
"Bethany has someone more your speed waiting for you back at her house."
"April? She's cool, but she's not you, Nova. No one compares to you."
She shut the back passenger door and walked around to the driver's side.
"Dinner and nothing else?"
"Promise."
He kept the promise.
He cooked fettuccine with steak and played with the baby. Nova left with her dignity intact and they continued seeing each other without sex. He grew comfortable settling into a non-sexual relationship with her. Unfortunately, that only encouraged the stronger emotional attachment that grew between them. They acted like a couple raising a child together whenever they were alone.
When they hung out with their mutual friends, he gave off Big Uncle energy to his godson. On his days off, he offered to babysit so Nova could have a few hours to herself.
They didn't start sleeping together again until Jordan returned. The six-month tour changed him. He bonded with his son and, of course, this cut off Terry's time with Nova. She snuck away when she could and their relationship headed for a conclusion he didn't want to face. Nova knew they were about to plummet over a precipice, but he was determined to stay calm about it. The baby grew bigger and looked just like his daddy. He sensed the ambivalence in her about maintaining their affair. It was only a matter of time before he expected her to end it. He dreaded that moment.
One afternoon, he fucked the curls out of Nova's hair. She showed up wearing a sheer red negligee under a long coat and he sent her home dripping with semen in her panties. An hour later, Jordan came knocking on his door.
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Terry stared at him through the keyhole and braced himself for some bullshit. He never gave Jordan his address. Other than Nova, only Von and Bethany knew that he'd moved off base.
"Who is it?" Terry called out, pretending not to know.
"Terry, it's me, Jordan. I need to talk to you…man to man."
Terry inhaled and opened the door, keeping his right leg behind him in case he needed to stick and move. Jordan had creases in his forehead and the whites of his eyes were pink.
"I need your advice," Jordan said.
Terry widened the door and invited Jordan in. He sat on the couch, and Terry sat on his recliner.
"What's going on?"
"It's Nova…I think…I think she's cheating on me."
Terry swallowed thickly and rubbed the back of his neck.
"What makes you believe that?"
Jordan stared at the floor.
"I've suspected it for a few months now. Since I came back. She's different, man."
"Motherhood changes women."
"Nah. Not like this. She's probably getting back at me because of Lourdes."
"Lourdes?"
"Some letters and a care package got forwarded to our house."
"You're still seeing her?"
"She was just a placeholder when Nova first got pregnant. I didn't have sex with Nova because of the baby and, well…shit…I got a blowjob here and there from Lourdes…ate some coochie and jerked off. I left overseas, and she started emailing and sending me shit. Nova didn't know until this fucking box showed up at the house today. But me and Lourdes were done…been over. That bitch stalked me with mail and gifts. Nova stormed out after we had a fight about it and left me with the baby. She came home smelling like sex and claimed she went to the gym and that I'm just projecting onto her. My wife is fucking another nigga and it's all because of that dumb bitch."
"So, none of this is your fault? Sneaking off to get your dick sucked? Constantly making poor choices?"
Jordan closed his eyes.
"Terry…listen to me. All that shit is over. I came home, and she put my son in my arms and I just…he looks just like me. Nova held it down by herself and now I'm gonna lose her to some fucker knocking her box out. She walks around humming and doesn't care if I go out anywhere. She don't nag or fuss at me like she used to. It's like she's plotting to leave the house every moment I turn my head. I'm thinking about dropping one of those Apple AirTags in her purse to track where she goes when she claims she's shopping or having lunch."
"Have you talked to her about it?"
"And say what? Stop cheating on me? She's getting back at me and I can't say I blame her. But I'm different. I'm willing to do anything…in fact, I'm getting out of the marines and taking her and the baby back to Charleston. I'm not re-upping. I gotta get her outta Oceanside and away from whoever she's seeing. This nigga done shifted her entire personality. I know he's fucking the shit outta her cuz her body is ridiculous. She's probably been banging him since I've been gone. I snooped around the house and found Plan B and spermicides in her personal bathroom cabinet."
Jordan held his head in frustration.
"Nova ain't never used spermicides with me. I bet she's letting this fool raw dog her."
Terry tried not to grind his teeth and sat back in his chair.
"I can't lose my family, Terry!"
Jordan burst into tears and moaned in great pain. Terry could only watch him with pity and feel dirty about the whole situation. All three of them were moving foul. But now a baby was involved.
"I have loved that woman for so long," Jordan said.
"You have a weird way of showing it."
"I know…I can't make any excuses for it anymore."
Jordan rolled into a ball on the couch. He looked like a hurt little boy that got his ball taken away…a ball he kicked away himself.
"What am I going to do?" Jordan pleaded.
"Can I ask you something personal? I want you to be truthful with me, though."
Jordan lifted his head, teary-eyes and lost.
"What?"
"Why did you marry Nova? You could've spared her suffering if you didn't get married."
"I loved her."
"Beyond that, though. What were you thinking when you asked her? Why didn't you just leave her be until you'd got your hoeing out of your system?"
Jordan glanced around Terry's condo like he was searching for the shadow of an answer in the corners.
"She was always my girl."
"Dig deeper."
Jordan closed his eyes in thought. He sat up and looked at Terry directly.
"If I didn't snatch her up soon, someone else would take her. I didn't want to leave her in South Carolina single. I thought…if I locked her down, I'd be set. No one else would touch her. I got her pregnant, and I figured we'd work through the kinks and things would get better."
"How did that come through your pea brain, Jordan? She's not someone you can put in a box and ignore until you're ready to grow up. You sidetracked her life—"
"I didn't want to lose her, Terry. Maybe I wasn't ready…but we'd been close for years. Our families are locked in. I didn't…I can't lose her."
Jordan jumped up and angrily paced.
"I swear to God if I catch this nigga she's creepin' with, I'll kill him."
"If she's happier, let her go."
"Nigga what? Are you crazy?"
"You're getting care packages overseas from a woman you claim was a past side piece a year ago. Nova did nothing but love you, and you shit on her every chance you get!"
Terry stood and stared Jordan down with flared nostrils and narrow eyes.
"That woman has cried over you…prayed…done everything to keep your marriage together. Fuck, man! She had your baby! Gave up school because of it. You haven't thought about what she's sacrificed to be with you… everything revolves around your needs. I want her to divorce you!"
Jordan gawked. His mouth fell open, and he inched back. His eyes went up and down Terry's body. He held up a hand.
"Why would you want her to divorce me, Terry?"
Exasperated, Terry exhaled and put his hands on his hips.
"You can't make Nova happy if you keep hurting her. That's all I'm saying. Let her go if you can't get your shit together. For her sake, and your son."
Jordan glared at him.
"Are you fucking my wife?"
Terry mustered all the calm he could find in his bones.
"No."
Jordan closed his eyes and huffed.
"I love her. I love my son. He's the best thing that's happened to us," Jordan said.
Terry's legs shook. His stomach twisted in knots, and he tasted a sour liquid at the back of his throat. He wanted to blurt out the truth, but he probably would've vomited had he done that, knowing that Nova would suffer the consequences. So would Junior. He clamped a hand on Jordan's shoulder. His godson deserved to have a father who wanted to make things right once and for all.
"Jordan, go home to your wife. Beg her for forgiveness and show her with your deeds—not words—that you're deserving of her love. Don't worry about who she may or may not be fucking. This is your only chance to come correct."
Jordan nodded his head and started crying. He was a child in a man's body with the emotional intelligence to match. Terry had no faith in him to do better. However, every man deserved the opportunity to try. He wouldn't stand in the way. Terry knew he and Nova would hit a brick wall once Jordan came back. It was time for fate and Jordan to take over.
Terry reached over and hugged Jordan.
"Go home to your family."
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Jordan stayed true to his word and didn't re-enlist. Von and Bethany threw them a going away barbecue at one of their flag football games. Nova played on an opposite team and snatched Terry's flag off a few times for old times' sake.
They spoke on the phone privately the night before and cried together. Despite her anger and bitterness toward her husband, Nova loved Jordan. Terry didn't reveal that he spoke with him in his condo. He also kept his opinion about having no faith in Jordan's ability to man up to himself. There was no need to pressure her into giving him what he wanted. She had to leave her husband on her own when she was ready. Pushing her to do it would cause resentment.
"I love you…always baby," he told her.
"My heart hurts…I love you—"
"Go hold on to that beautiful baby for me."
"Terry…please don't hate me for trying again."
"I could never hate you, Nova. Put that thought out of your mind."
"He stopped drinking. Most of his infidelity issues and unacceptable behavior came from that. We're starting counseling back home. Getting back into church again. I think he was so disconnected from who he was…maybe Junior helped remind him of who he used to be."
He respected her decision. Had he been in Jordan's position, he would've begged God to give him another chance, too.
"Nova?"
"Yes?"
He should've bitten his tongue, but he said it anyway.
"When you want me to come get you. You let me know. Okay?"
She stayed quiet.
There were so many friends at the park that it became easy for him to drift along and keep busy with other people. He wandered to his truck to get a jacket, and Nova thought he was leaving. She chased him down in the parking lot and threw her arms around his neck. He lifted her up and held her, their tears mixing in person. Emotionally drained after the sad goodbye, Terry drove home and cried.
Nova and Jordan flew out the next day with their baby, and it didn't surprise Terry at all that Nova left Jordan four months later. Bethany let slip at a cookout that Nova filed for divorce and moved in with her brother- and sister-in-law. Terry minded his business and hoped Nova would finally find happiness. She was with her people and had a strong, supportive family to carry her through. Inserting himself into her life in the middle of new turmoil was something he wouldn't do. God took her away for a reason. Terry worked on closing that chapter in his life, no matter how painful it was.
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Another summer was upon him, and he made vacation plans to visit his family on a road trip. He cleaned his condo, dropped off some spare keys for his friend Angie to watch his place while he was gone, and gassed up his truck. The only thing he had left to do was collect his travel bags. He collected mail from his mailbox in the condo lobby and found a large white envelope addressed to him by name, but with no return address.
Terry took the elevator to his home and tossed the junk mail aside. He opened the envelope and pulled out a large color photo of a cute brown baby girl with green eyes so bright they seemed to leap off the photo paper. His heart thudded in his chest. He sat down on his couch and flipped the photo over. There was only a name and a phone number.
Terrina Richmond.
The phone number had an unfamiliar area code. He looked it up on his smartphone.
Charleston, South Carolina.
Terry's hands shook so badly he had to press them on his thighs. He stared at the photo again. The baby had wispy waves of dark brown hair like him, but the eyes…God the eyes were his, too. Especially the long curling eyelashes.
He picked up his phone, and with trembling fingers, called the number.
"Hello?"
"Nova?"
"Terry—"
"I have a photo in my hand. That's why I called this number…Nova—"
"Come get me…come get us."
"Send me the address, baby. I'm on my way."
He asked no questions. Didn't worry about how he would explain to his relatives that he had to make a detour from Louisiana to South Carolina. His prayers had been answered.
Terry Richmond booked a flight to Charleston. He had to get his woman back and meet his new daughter.
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A.N: Hey, shit happens. Just needed to write this one to see where it would go!
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ethicaltreatmentofcowplants · 19 hours ago
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part ii (part i)
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“Caden, prior to this competition I would have taken one look at you, then dismissed you. And I would have been wrong. I was never expecting you to be this good natured, easy going and simply likeable, and even Araminta conceded that you have ‘far superior manners’ than what you demonstrated during your introduction. Don’t pack your bags just yet - unless it’s to join me in Round Two. Oh, and for future reference, I like a good Malbec.”
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“Struan, a couple of times I took your shyness for disinterest or playing games, and that was on me. But you’ve more than proven me wrong. I’ve never tried ginger before, and now I find myself quite partial to it. Sorry - I don’t know who in the writer’s room comes up with this shit. In short, I like you and I want to keep you. You are thoroughly genuine and unpretentious - see you next round.”
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“Sage - you are an absolutely atrocious thief, but fortunately you have a better chance of stealing my heart. Uh, much like The Swings of Power, I wouldn’t be surprised if the script for this was actually written by AI - so I’ll skip the rest of it. You’re fun with just the right amount of quirkiness, and you’re also coming with me to the next round. I’ll be looking to see if we can build on what we have.”
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“Briar, we have the beginnings of a beautiful friendship, but I’ve yet to see whether it could ever be anything other than that. You reacted favourably to my flirts, but you never once returned them. Still, I get that some of us need a little more preheating than others, and I definitely want more time with you. I look forward to seeing you next round.”
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“Cassie, you had a lot of initial bad impressions to overcome, and while others have scored higher, I think that you’ve done well considering. You show more gumption and readiness with the farm work than I was expecting, and I want to see if you have even more surprises in store. While I can’t guarantee that you won’t be rostered yet again on cooking, I can tell you that you’re not heading home just yet. Sorry babe, but it will be a while before we end up anywhere you can get a decent latte or manicure.”
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“Giovanna, you seem to have a slow-burn approach to romance that obviously isn’t well suited towards all of this, and while I’ve struggled to get a read on you, I feel as though I have enough to go on to give you what more time I can - for now. I get that not everyone is as… tactile as me, so if you’re feeling it, just give me some indication in whatever way is most comfortable to you during the next round.”
how scores were calculated
And our upper-mid to lower-mid scores are here. While I take a "the points are law" approach to this, not everything can be conveyed through them and so I chose to reflect this in Lilac's remarks.
Those who have a contestant in the bottom six, be forewarned that Lilac wants to light a fire under some of their butts and what she says to those who remain may be quite blunt - but the Watcher loves everyone in this bar.
@mdshh @lindyloosims @panicsimss
@jonquilyst @bakersimmer @ravingsockmonkey
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nerves-nebula · 3 days ago
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Imma be honest having low self esteem doesn’t just make you treat yourself poorly, once you reach a certain low it makes you treat other people like shit too. Just kind of inherently.
Like if you’re at the stage where you refuse to believe your friends enjoy spending time with you, to the point that you argue about it to their faces, you’re being a dick. You’re calling them liars and fake. And that’s not about your own self hate anymore that’s about you believing you’re so correct that you can dictate their own feelings to them based on the idea of them you made up.
One of the first steps to get out of that kind of mindset for me wasn’t immediately be believing everything positive that others said about me. It wasn’t suddenly thinking I was deserving of love or affection. it was telling myself that I cannot dictate other people’s feelings to them, especially when it’s based off of something as fickle as my own feelings. That nobody knows what the fuck I’m thinking so why tf do I assume to know what they’re thinking.
You don’t have to outwardly agree when your friends say that they think you’re sweet and nice. But getting into an argument over it or denying it every time is how you actually do lose friends, cuz it becomes clear that you’re not willing to see them as people outside of the versions of them you made up in your head.
If it really bothers you that much, then just remember that some people have what appears to you to be “bad taste”, and that some peoples bad taste just so happens to include liking you.
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