#shit was tooo fucking funny

[eclipsewxtch]

i don’t love catvi as much as i did in s1 bc caitlyn became a fascist and im not ashamed to admit that.

the same way im not ecstatic over jayvik like. yeah, ok, viktor repented sorta but the repenting in question was like. a future ominous grim reaper version of himself and LITERAL death after a love confession. sooooo.

like. i like timebomb, i like catvi, i like jayvik i don’t hate any of them. but one was a psychopath with a bomb fixation, one was a mini-dictator, and one was a cult-leader who was pro-eugenics. like. was it objectively funny who much these three changed in the timespan of two seasons and one (1) of them became somewhat of a good person?? well—yes—BUT! it was still batshit crazy. which is why i need/read canon divergence and/or modern au timebomb to heal. same with catvi and jayvik. the ship art of the canon timeline? amazing spectacular. beautiful ships, beautiful stories—i STILL need that caitlyn repentance.

i don’t CARE if caitlyn apologized off screen that shit needs to be ON SCREEN. LoL AND ARCANE DIRECTORS RELEASE THOSE DELETED SCENES NOW

[bmpmp3]

fffffffffuuuuuuccccccccccck i was always meant to become a mascot character designer

[pomegranatesarchive]

locked in a closet | oscar piastri

pairing: oscar piastri x landos bestfriend!reader

summary: lando norris locks his two bestfriends in a broom closet in hopes that they’ll stop hating each other.

liked by, oscarpiastri, yourusername, and 438,626 others!

lando.jpg: how can i get my bestfriends to stop hating each other?

view comments below!

oscarpiastri: you can’t.

lando.jpg: ☹️

oscarpiastri: you can pout all you want. We will never get along.

lando.jpg: why must you break my heart 💔

user1: it’s been a whole year lando…i don’t think they’ll ever get along

user2: NEVER SAY NEVER

user3: oscar this, lando that, can we talk about how good y/n looks?? 🙄

yourusername: THANK YOU!! nobody appreciates my beauty anymore 😒😒

oscarpiastri: what beauty?

yourusername: die?

user4: LMAOO

yourusername: maybe if, he who should not be named, wasn’t so annoying, we could actually get along!

oscarpiastri: i’m not fucking voldemort you can say my name

yourusername: o-os🤮c-ca🤮🤮🤮🤮 no i just can’t.

oscarpiastri: oh and i’m the annoying one??

yourusername: yeah! you are!

oscarpiastri: @/lando.jpg control her.

lando.jpg: guy please, can’t we all just get along 😞😞

yourusername: how would getting along with he who should not be named, benefit me??

lando.jpg: it would make me really really happy 😁😁

yourusername: i couldnt give less of a shit about your happiness lando

oscarpiastri: see? She’s a horrible friend, me on the on the hand would never be so mean to you.

yourusername: you told lando he looks like big bird two days ago?

user5: for two people who hate each other, they sure do talk a lot…

danielricciardo: why do they even hate each other so much? 🙄🙄

lando.jpg: oscar spilled his drink on y/n the first time they met. he refused to apologize. she refused to forgive him.

yourusername: you forgot to mention that my shirt was $300 😐😐

oscarpiastri: FIRST OFF who in their right mind buys a 300 HUNDRED DOLLAR SHIRT???!?!? and SECOND OFF, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! I refuse to apologize for something that wasn’t on purpose.

yourusername: this is why your mom loves me more.

oscarpiastri: she does NOT.

nicolepiastri: …

oscarpiastri: MUM????

yourusername: i know that’s right.

user6: oscar and y/n would be so cute together if they stopped being so IMMATURE

user7: they should just #kissandmakeup

user8: me patiently waiting for the enemies to lovers 🧍‍♀️

user9: you’re going to be waiting a LONG time…

charles_leclerc: i think it’s time to give up on the idea them being friends mate 😢

lando.jpg: I SAY WHEN ITS TIME

user10: charles is just sick of getting caught in the crossfire 😭

user11: OMG IM NOT THE ONLY ONCE WHO NOTICES THAT ???😭😭😭

user10: NOO I DID TOOO!! it’s like every time oscar and y/n are having a glare-off charles somehow ends up right in between them

user11: AND THEN HE JUST STANDS THERE LIKE 🧍‍♂️

maxverstappen1: just lock them in a room and let them fight it out 🤷

lando.jpg: wait a damn minute…

yourusername: LANDO NO.

oscarpiastri: absolutely not.

— y/n has posted new photos!

liked by, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, alex_albon, and 502,528 others!

yourusername: p2, and now movie night in max’s movie theater <33

view comments below!

user12: cutting oscar out of the photo is DIABOLICAL WORK 😭😭

user13: oh to be y/n l/n :((

user14: y/n is literally living the DREAM

user15: the way y/n made SURE you could see that she cut oscar out of the photo

yourusername; i have no idea what you’re talking about ?? 😓😓

oscarpiastri: get off your phone and watch the movie 🙄

yourusername: stop staring and me and watch the movie 🙄

user16: clock it y/n!!!!!

landonorris: did you really have to crop out oscar?

yourusername: yes!

user17: landos trying so hard 😞

user18: they’re all having a movie night 😞😞😞 ??

user19: I SHOULD BE THERE 💔💔💔💔💔

maxverstappen1: this movie is so funny!!

yourusername: it’s brokeback mountain?

maxverstappen1: and it’s hilarious! 😂

user20: MAX WATCHING BROKEBACK MOUTAIN ??!?!??

user21: max thinking brokeback mountain is funny is so him??

charles_leclerc: this movie is so sad 💔💔💔

yourusername: yeah charles we all see you crying :(

user22: charles crying over brokeback mountain is SO HIM!!

user23: is everyone just in there phones during the movie?? 😭😭

oscarpiastri: nope! just she who should not be named 🤷

yourusername: the unoriginality is disgusting!!

maxverstappen1: i’m going to, as the kids say, expose everyone. @/oscarpiastri has not stoped staring at y/n all night.

maxverstappen1: @/yourusername hasn’t stopped staring at a photo oscar on her phone.

this comment has been deleted.

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris has eaten 2 whole pizzas.

maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc is crying like a baby.

maxverstappen1: @/danielricciardo keeps awkwardly laughing at the worst moments.

maxverstappen1: @/georgerussell63 keeps taking photos of his abs

maxverstappen1: @/lewishamiliton is secretly wiping away his tears

maxverstappen1: @/alex_albon has been whining about missing ‘his lily’ all night

maxverstappen1: @/carlossainz has gotten up to pee 10 times in the past HOUR

maxverstappen1: and @/logansargent has been hugging a teddy bear for the past 2 hours.

maxverstappen1: that’s what you ALL GET for not having MOVIE THEATER ETIQUETTE AND BEING ON YOUR PHONES.

yourusername: damn okay….

alex_albon: can you go get me my jacket in the closet? i’m kinda cold 🥶🥶

yourusername: yeah sure? 😭

user24: something’s brewing..i can feel it.

landonorris: @/oscarpiastri can you go get me my beanie in the closet? my ears are cold

oscarpiastri: yeah sure

— 3 minutes later!

— 7 minutes later!

— 2 hours later!

— y/n has posted new pictures!

liked by, oscarpiastri, landonorris, maxverstappen1, georgerussell63, and 629,628 others!

yn.jpg: max’s door didn’t stand a chance against MY muscles 💪(ft, jimmy the cat♡♡)

view comments below!

user25: oscar in the likes?????

user26: wait a minute…

maxverstappen1: don’t worry i won’t make you pay for it 😚

yourusername: you locked me in a room with oscar. i wasn’t paying either way.

maxverstappen1: FINE. 😒😒😒

user27: did she just…say oscar name?

user28: in the whole YEAR oscar and y/n have known each other, y/n has NEVER said his name WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

user29: something happened in that closet

landonorris: hello, i am lando norris, and i would like to publicly apologize for locking my dear friends (especially yn) in a closet. it was stupid and inappropriate of me. i hope to gain back their forgiveness.

user30: did y/n make you do this?

landonorris: no… (yes pls help she’s locked me in my room and won’t let me out)

yourusername; i’ll let you out once you’ve learned your lesson.

oscarpiastri: nice kitty.

yourusername: thanks!

georgerussell63: um, what the fuck is this?

charles_leclerc: maybe management took over oscar’s account?

oscarpiatari: no? it’s me?

charles_leclerc: oh! then what the fuck is this?

user31: something DEFINITELY happened in that closet. why are oscar and y/n actually being civil????

landonorris: i don’t know but it’s scary.

yourusername: do i have to confiscate your phone too?

landonorris: no! Sorry i’m learning my lesson 😞

carlossainz: hahaha 😂lando is such a loser

yourusername: do i have to take your phone to carlos? 🤨

carlossainz: NO, no i’m sorry 😔

user32: is it finally happening?…the enemies to lovers we all wanted 💔💔

user33: your telling me landos plan actually worked and y/n and oscar are being civil now ??

user34: dare i say…oscar and y/n would be a cute couple

danielricciardo: why are you and piastri being cool with each other?

yourusername: isn’t this what you all wanted??

danielricciardo: yeah…i guess we did…didn’t we?

landonorris: I KNEW IT WOULD WORK!!

yourusername: you’re still in trouble, come give me your phone.

landonorris: okay 😞

— oscarpiastri has posted new photos!

liked by yourusername, landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 727,918 others!

oscarpiastri: second date, kinda nervous. (she taught me that)

view comments below!

landonorris: second date and already making it instagram official? You’re so whipped 😒

oscarpiastri: didn’t you want us to get along better?

landonorris: yeah, GET ALONG, not GET TOGETHER 😒😒

user35: GET TOGETHER??? EXCUSE MEEEE

user36: THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!! IT HAPPNED IT FUCKING HAPPENED. FUCK EVEYONE WHO TOLD ME I WAS DELUSIONAL FOR SAYING THIS WOULD HAPPEN. GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT?? ME! I WAS!

user37: did i just step into a parallel universe where y/n and oscar are dating? because what the actual fuck is going on

maxverstappen1: 😨.

user38: SEE!! EVEN MAX IS ASTONISHED

user39; the period after the emoji is KILLING ME 😭😭

georgerussell63: Is that Y/n????? @/charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: no? it can’t be?

yourusername: it is

charles_leclerc: AHHHHHHH

georgerussell63: AHHHHHHHH

user39: we did it ladies and gentlemen…after one whole year, the enimies to lovers has finally happened 🥲🥲🥲

landonorris: WE??? NAH BABY ME!! ALL ME!!

yourusername: heart heart

maxverstappen1: 🤨

lewishamilton: 🤨

georgerussell63: 🤨

landonorris: 🤨

logansargent: 🤨

charles_leclerc: 🤨

schecoperez: 🤨

danielricciardo: 🤨

carlossainz: 🤨

yukitsunoda0511: 🤨

fernadoalonso: 🤨

totowolff: 🤨

mclaren: 🤨

yourusername: OMG HE BOUGHT ME A REPLICA OF THE SHIRT HE RUINED, I FORGAVE HIM OKAY???

user40: only the seconds date and he’s already posting her?? oh he’s obsessed.

oscarpiastri: well, yes!

user41: 3 days ago they hated each other so much??? what happened???

yourusername: i’m a really good kisser

user42: DO YOU GUYS TGINK THEY KISSED IN THE CLOSET???

user43: maybe we do have lando to thank…

. . .

notes: one of the longest smau’s i’ve done! reminder that comments and reblogs are so greatly appreciated <33

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Astro observations

I FEEEL LIKE CANCER , SUNS AND RISING S DISLIKE MAKE UP ITS NOT THEIR THING ,THEY CAN SOMETIMES HAVE HAGGERED[hardened) FACE TRY NOT FROWN , I FIND U GUYS BEAUTIFUL THO , MY SISTER CANCER RIEING AND SHES MooDY , fUNNY TOOO THO ,

Cancer stellium s , cancer dominant, 4th house dominant, moon 🌑 🌙 dominated ,im sorry we bat shit 💩 crazy asf I have never seen such unhinged scary behaviour fuck Capricorn or Aquarius even Scorpio it’s cancer ♋️, Jodi arias , OJ Simpson , AND HIS DAUGHTER KO KO KHLOE, COURTNEY LOVE , PAMELA ANDERSON ,LANA DEL REY , TO NAME FEW.

Capricorn and sex to me do not go together ,I’m Capricorn stellium in 6th house , but if you hear Heidi fliess {Hollywood)talk about money vs sex , and how sex just a transaction , and my mother ain’t had it in decades , I slept with mars in Capricorn it almost didn’t feel real

VIRGO MEN ❌ ARE NOT LIKE VIRGO WOMEN ✅

Virgo women men are just funny as fuck and make me laugh and charming and have the quickest way, in the Gemini way they don’t want to do things hurtful. They might become quite a bit stuck up but it comes across as., the men isn’t as it comes across it’s annoying because maybe men are just irritating by nature

Sagittarius ♐️ women. ❌ Sagittarius men. ✅

Sagittarius women similar to Gemini women and anyway that they can say stuff that really blunt and out there which they say is joking and not real they’re just honest and stuff but sometimes it comes across is really cunty and not very nice. They also are bigger flakes than they would like to admit they have a social life but only people they choose to. Pretending you want to do it with people that you don’t people would rather just know the truth., People would say no instead of making you feel crap about yourself because it’s always the people in the world who talk talk talk and talk have people that wanna hang around with them obviously because they seem interesting and the people are too scared to talk. I feel like a teenage girl I’m almost there.

Gemini men ✅ Gemini women ❌

Lemme explain , a lot of Gemini women have this vindictive side where they really like to just make something out of nothing and do something quite evil when they’re feeling bad themselves, an essay of abuse to someone, it or need it, and they’re very clever because they can do things at once and get away with this kind of behaviour because they’re charming and that’s what I don’t like. I’ve met many Gemini women who do this and it’s really horrible and when they go fuck you should be worried because that’s when they’re gonna go off on one and make you feel like a Cunt, Gemini ladies stop doing this because it is not too good

Libra ♎️ MARS CELEB WOMEN ARE LIKE FUCKING SIRENS STEAL YOUR MAN ENERGY BABES

Pamela Anderson

Lily rose depp

Kylie Jenner

KRIS JENNER even the men

Freddie Mercury

Elvis, Whitney Houston, Jessica Beale Nicole Kidman.,

If you have a Aquarius seventh house, or Aquarius🏠 dominant anything, then you’re gonna find yourself in love triangles, unconventional and polyamorous associate with Aquarius

When a Leo’s light dims in depression,they can’t handle it , if they stop wearing make up , nice clothes lose how they are b aware , ok cos this happened to me , and I can’t bare this .

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

Direct Instruction

"Slow down, Denji. You're gonna overstimulate her too quick. Slow licks. Yeah.. Just like that. Take your time, she ain't goin nowhere."

Aki speaks from across the room, patiently observing Denji struggle not to devour you. He slips his t-shirt off but leaves his sweats on. Head tilted, one hand resting on his raging dick as he leans back further into his chair. You don't know why he's still clothed; made you and Denji get undressed soon as this started.

"I don't want tooo. She tastes so fuckin sweet. Its like candy, Aki."

Denji's a fuckin brat but slows down anyway, giving you a chance to catch your breath. Even with him replacing his savage ass sucking with fast little kitten licks, you can't dig your toes out the mattress at the feeling.

"Yeah, I know she does. Don't mean you can do whatever you want." Aki tells him, squeezin his dick to the sight of you.

"Not the fuckin boss of me.." Denji mumbles into your pussy, making Aki's brow raise.

"That right? Want me to shut this shit down? Fuck y/n till she can't see straight while we leave you to play by yourself?"

That gets Denji back on track. Doesn't dare talk back. Only whines into your sensitive lil pus before getting back to his task.

"Thought so. Fuckin brat. Did you not promise me to work on followin directions? Gonna have to handle your bad ass later.. And you better make her cum real good too."

Theres no doubt about that. Tip of his tongue is dead on, swiping that spot on your slippery nub with an accuracy you wouldn't have thought a virgin could possess. He's only been between your legs for a couple minutes but apparently a few tips from Aki and suddenly he's a pro.

"Ahh, ahhh- Denji! Can't believe- didn't think- ohmygod!"

Aki chuckles as Denji moans around your clit, gripping around your thighs tight. The vibrations put an arch in your back that make Aki finally pull himself out to stroke; he's way too fuckin hard watchin you so drunk on pleasure.

"See what you're doin to her? She can barely take it. Use your fingers.. Yeah, like that. Bet shes squeezin round you.. Always bear hugs the fuck outta my dick when I first slide in."

"Mmmhmmm.."

A finger swipes at your opening, experimenting with the slip and slide of you. Denjis curious. Slowly lets his digit creep inside, suckin at you a little quicker. He's stares at your glistening lil puss, mesmerized by how you engulf him like his lips do to your clit.

"Good boy, Denji. Thats it.. Isn't he doin so well, sweet heart? Makin your lil puss flutter nice and tight, huh? Well, tell him then. Dont be rude.."

"Yeeees, Aki! Makin me feel so- ah, ah, ah!"

Denji can't take it anymore. Wants you to be a good boy, and to be the one that makes you cum but he so fuckin selfish. Needs something from you first: wants a real taste of your pretty lil chocolate pussy. So he abandons your clit, pulling you even tighter against his mouth so he can dig his tongue inside of you as far as it can go.

"Ohhhhmyyy- uh, uh, uh!"

It's too intense too fuckin quick. Your yank at his hair to pull him back but he doesn't budge, leaning into you body to trap you against the bed. He wiggles it inside of you erratically, no rythym at all. Just trying his damnest to reach your depths.

"Geez, Denji.. Should've known; you never fuckin listen."

But Aki doesn't stop him, quickening his strokes as he gets up to stand closer for a better view. He swipes at the precum streaming from his flushed tip. Reaching down with the same hand to pluck at your stiff nipples, smearing them sticky before rubbin slow teasing circles around your clit.

"Listen to that.. Hear that cute lil pussy singin for us? She's loud.. Even louder than your mouth. You so nasty, baby."

"Mmm mmm mmm."

Denji doesnt even hear Aki anymore, groaning in between your thighs like you just offered him a feast. Which is hella funny cause that's how he eats you. It's so damn sloppy, too messy. Your juices and his spit mixing to slide down your ass to the bed.

"Gonna cum Denji! Dont stop, please. Fuh-uuck.. More, Akiiii!"

Your pleas the prettiest symphony either of em has ever heard.

"Okay, y/n, okay. Let it out- ahhh.. Need to see you wet up his mouth, princess.Ohhh, gonna buss- don't stop Denji. Our girls gonna cum. Huh, y/n? Fuuuuck, you're so damn. beautiful."

He gives your twitchy lil button the attention you need, just not in the way expect. Stops rubbing to land 3 swift smacks against your clit. But your gone by the first, mindlessly squealing and cumming on Denji's mouth. Hips twisting uncontrollably but his hold on your thick thighs keeps you in place by. All the while, the fuckin brat makes multiple attempts to reach that special spot inside you with his devilish tongue.

"Mmmmfankoooohmmmm!"

Denji groans his appreciation when you shower his swollen mouth with your love. His tongue batters your walls, forcing moan after moan from your throat till your voice cracks.

What neither of you expect is for the scene to become to much for Aki. He pushes Denji to the side and bullies his cock between your spasming walls. He relishes how the end of your orgasm pushes him into his own.

"No fair, Aki! Wasn't done yet. Not your turn!" Denji's whining, swiftly standing to take Aki's place.

"Shut it."

He strokes his dick slowly, whimpering when he notices how Aki fucks you so good that when your lips part to cry nothin comes out. No breath in your lungs, mouth open wide in a silent scream as Aki leans over you and humps you quick and hard. You're left to grip at your covers, shapely brown legs wrapping around his waist; having no choice but to take what he gives you.

"Yeeees y/n! Bout to fill up my pussy, baby. You ready? Gonna take it all? Got so much cum for you, princess!"

You shake your head, hoping he takes some pity and pulls out.

"Nooo, Aki. Take it out. Don't want you too."

Your mumbled denial definitely lacks conviction.

"Too fuckin bad, baby- ohhhhshit! Can't stop now. Mmmm.. 'S too amazin y/n. Ahhh.."

Aki fills you and then some, thick streams pushing out everytime he fucks back into you. You're thankful his strokes turn shallow at the end of his nut, energy draining from his limbs as he lays over you heavily.

Denji watches as he jerks, envious of the intimacy between you two as Aki pecks kisses all over your face.

"A-aki, 'm close, so fuckin close.. Can I cum? Please, Aki, please?"

"No. Hands off." Voice commanding, he's back to his stoic demeanor; even though his hips still stutter slowly into yours.

Denji groans in disbelief, droppin his hand reluctantly. He can't believe Aki's bein this way. You came and he clearly just satisfied himself, shivers still running through him as he pulls his dick out of you. So then why can't Denji find some fuckin relief too?

But then Denji's pleasantly surprised when Aki spreads you wide, both watching as his nut pools too your entrance. You cover your eyes with your arm, embarrassed how they stare at his cum slowly oozing out and into the big puddle beneath you.

Aki looks at Denji, smiling brightly; cock still stiff as fuck.

"Kay, Denji. Put it in, your turn.."

[luvchrltts]

dating mondo owada headcanons !! (sfw + nsfw)

ship : mondo x reader 🫡

— warnings : breeding kink, dimensions and measurements of his dick 😭😭, cccccunnilingus, dominant mondo (most of the time ….), erm js sex in general FOR THE NSFW AREA . no warnings in the sfw :3

reader : female anatomy in nsfw areaaaa

SFW:

love language is spending time with u <3 he stands on BUSINESS when it comes to being with u no matter what it is

takes u to the gym and shows him his routine (REOWWW 😻😻)

lazy af when inside tho 🤷🏼‍♀️

he lets u borrow his jacket that’s like 5x bigger than u — forgot to say that he is most likely towering over u

not shy or anything but he genuienly forgets to show affection . he thinks of u as a best friend

reallllyyyyy comfortable with u but u’ll never ever catch him lacking

u love to play with his long hair after hes just showered and hasnt styled it yet

more loyal than anyone ever could be . he thinks having ONE partner is enough LET ALONE TWO . and also he just wouldnt choose to be a cheater he doesnt see the point and believes its tooo much effort

mondo doesnt tease a lot he’s just kind of sly

he finds it downright hilarious when u say something that sounds dirty and he gets to make a joke about it 😭😭. hes got smth wrong with him

would do anything to prevent u from breaking up with him. he’s already lost his brother let alone the lohl ☹️ give him a BREAKKKK

nsfw under the cut 🙈

NSFW:

he’s so loud omfg

wants u to sit on his face .

no joke he literally gets off even to the thought of eating u out …..

goes pussydrunk

he loves ass im sorry

as long as you have SOMETHING for him to grab onto no matter the size he’s satisfied

………….. thick dick

alr just hear me out on this

shaft #AD8484 tip #97575F — 8 inches long and 5 inches thick ………. it doesnt feel right writing this x

if he feels like shaving he will if he doesnt he wont ✌️ he doesnt care what u do with ur pubes as long as u dont care abt what he does with his

he wants to be gentle he really does but he cant bring himself to be sometimes

not necessarily kinky but he’ll do whatever the fuck u want 😇😇 as long as ur happy pookie !!!!

as i said at the start he’s very vocal.. literally pants like a dog 🙇🏼‍♀️

his voice breaks when he orrrrgasssmmmmssss

his stupid hair bounces up and down when he thrusts inside u 😭😭😭😭 i find myself VERY funny 🫡

hear me out . he wraps his arms around ur thighs to hold u still as ur laying down and eats u out 🙏

u cuuuummmmm on his weird ass hair sometimes and he gets pissed ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS A GOOD HAIR DAY

maybe just MAYBE would he let u take control . but only if its a birthday treat or smth as i said u’ll never catch him lacking like that

toys are useless in his opinion … why a fake cock when hes got a real one waiting for u with open arms 🤗

'attagirl’ 'take it like a champ’ 'doing so well f’me..’ ……. I MIGHT TEML A JOKE BUT I NEVER TELL A LIE

bbbbbreeeeedinnnngggg kink maybe …… as long as ur alr w it

would laugh recklessly if u ever mentioned piss or shit or anything like that (as he should. as he fucking should)

erm thats it i hope it was alr for my first thingy evaaa lolz 🫡

[minzart]

A quick fix me up

Vox / reader

Unresolved sexual tension - ehhh +16 maybe? It's not really that explicit I think? - the eroticism of fixing a robot

Ao3

It had a been a fucking month, and the tech overlord could still feel the collateral damage of his - very purposeful, not at all accidental - melt down, tantrum, accident caused by that prick of an ultrapassed piece of junk still affecting his processing and it was getting on his nerves that he might feel the need to reboot for the second time this day before he has to peel more faux skin off his body.

And to top it all of, Val had to just still be obsessing over his fucking whore of a spider, noooo because the sixteen hour long shots had to be done today, he can't fucking relax or try to take his mind of the double work he has to do now that Alastor is back and viewership is decaying gradually, it's not like the pimp is the fucking director and can't just take half an hour to a quicky and be done with it.

Fucks sake when Valentino wants to fuck it's not a matter of yes, not even when, it's a now and be damned his screen if he denies the petty princess anything, but when he wants to fuck, and Angel Dust is at the vicinity, it has to have star alignment to convince the moth demon to even take his eyes of his fucking bitch for even two seconds.

He can feel another glitch happening at his screen, left eyes of all places, making his vision spin and change colors. He is tired, he is bothered, he is furious, he is stressed and he is still glitching. With a sigh of defeat Vox finally decides to call the person who can, at the very least, fix one of his many problems, his personal doctor, or should he call you his trusted mechanic, he settles for old -friend- acquaintance.

The logo of your business bounces in the closest screen, he misses when it was your face, not that he will ever let you know that, it's late and yet your voice, groggy and annoyed answered his call anyways.

“it's three in the fucking morning Vox what the fuck do you want” it's only your voice, no matter how many times he tried to force the video calls you never let your camera work properly, a quirky “fuck you” to him you had said once.

“gOOdNiiiGggth to yOu tOOo” he tries his best to say you name energetically, but the stupid glitch won't let his usual charisma take roots, at the end he sighs and groans.

“...... what the fuck did you do to your voice box this time, if I have to get cum out of it again I swea-” the sounds of sheets moving informs him that you were in fact probably sleeping, joy, he was the only one with trouble sleeping then.

“JUsrt gggEt yoR aSS hERe” he disconnects the call from your end.

“alright fine, fine I'm going” you talk to air, and he stills hears you because it's better than to give his attention to whatever is happening upstairs right now, not in the patience for it “I know you can still hear me you control freak, get your ass moving to the closest sofa before I have to drag your corpse from your fucking evil lair”

He chuckles, it would be funny if he wasn't actually hearing you, and it did happened before, your pissed face was priceless at the time, his body is ten times more difficult to command but he manages to enter in the elevator and out to the suit, Velvette is at her side of the tower getting her beauty sleep and Val “working”, leaving him with the space for himself and finally tranquility.

The television tunes to the nearest camera at your house, and he let's his mind wanders waiting for you to arrive. You were locking your door of the apartment when he sees a foot inside your house stopping it from closing, he changes the camera in annoyance who the fuck was there? Last time he checked you didn't have a new roommate since him, and it was fucking eons ago, and no fucking camera at that building is good enough to look inside your house, shit.

You two were talking, your hand goes up gently, your face disappear from frame, oh it's a whore, because of fucking course it is, but then you smile and walks away, leaving whoever the fuck was that inside, that couldn't be a partner could it? No, no way, you wouldn't, but who let's a fucking whore alone in your house in hell, no, scratch that, you, specifically, never fucking even let whores in since he remembers knowing you in this damned place, too paranoid for it, so who the fuck was that.

The overlord can feel heat building in his chest, twisting his insides and acid in his mouth. It was not a good day, nor a good week, nor a good month, he wouldn't call himself an easy jealous man, absolutely never, why would he even get jealous??? He's powerful, he's famous, he's rich, fuck he is ten time the man he was dead than alive. And still… and still he never is the first priority of nobody he could even call the closest thing hell can offer as friends.

Not for Val who would offer amazing sex but God if it didn't get tiring the temper tantrums, not to mention the several PR nightmares he has to cover; not for Vel who still has the best head on her shoulder of the three of them, but was God awful at listening to anything but her voice; not to his audience slowly slipping out of his grasp; not for his stars who only suck him up for a rise; not even for his fucking rival who hasn't even tried to rile him up since he came fucking back; and definitively not for you who was at the door of the company at three in the morning leaving whoever a sweetheart that stranger might be alone just because he called with a glitch voice...

He slowly gets his hand away from his face, grip so tight he could feel the holes it left dripping blue down his sides, vision black and white, and opens the automatic door for you with a snap of fingers. The lights are off and the second the security comes to you, you flash your ID card of the company, and go to the elevator without exchanging a word with the demon. It closes the second you are in and automatically sets your destination to the low levels of the V tower.

He hears the ping of the elevator opening and your footsteps getting closer, the TV now off. “alright let me see the damage”

You lift his head gently, peel the layers of clothes mechanically, and move the coffee table closer, your expression is of professionalism, neutral, and bags in your eyes”can you talk?”

“wwWhaAT dOdo-youu ThinnnK?” he answers and mentally grabs at the relief fraction of expression you show.

“ok, wires not completely busted” you unscrew his face and get to work, always precise, always gentle, you have always been gentle, he remembers meeting you, countless of years ago, a demon specializing in upgrading sinners with mechanical bodies, he remembers his rising days with a touch of bitterness, determination and a little bit of fondness, you were the first he ever trusted to ever exchange his screen when it broke when he still was scared of a second death.

He can hear you walking around, probably looking for the spare parts he has, and comes back as quickly. It's nice, he feels nice, relaxed, strange how a semblance of care can melt away his nerves is a good way. You are not even thinking about your motions, he can tell, and yet Vox let's himself bask in this fraction of attention a little, a lot, every little touch every little check he feels he commits to memory and replays over and over again.

From his face to his back and now he can feel your hands inside him adjusting wires and peeling melted wax that is where it shouldn't be because “your last black out made your cooling system kiss your ass goodbye so I'm gonna replace this too and you are gonna have to get new fake skin” and he couldn't be happier right now since it makes you stay a little while longer.

It's weird, he fucking knows that, he knows, he knows how weird it is feeling you be so fucking gentle and profession and getting off to it, and fuck if having you right there behind him didn't gave him an adrenalin burst, would you notice? Have you noticed how he can feel his insides hum in pleasure every time you fix him inside? You must, come on, it's so very obvious he's hotter than normal, it's not even funny.

And his mind just runs in it too, colors coming back to his vision, and his mind isn't even close to reality, his pants are tight and he wants to just grind so fucking bad to get some friction going down there, he feels one of your hands pin him in place, firmily sat, and he wishes it was to pin him down and- fuck, he feels electricity run around his whole body, you flinch breaking all contact and he has to bless his luck that he doesn't have a working voice box right now because he feels he just whimpered at the lost of contact “You good bud?”

He shudders and nods frantically, a little bit of panic building in his gut, fuck he can feel his pants are not dry, goddammit “lay down” you want to kill him, you definitively want to kill him, he will play that command on loop next time he gets this fucking needy.

He does as you ask, and has half a mind to not just plant his face between the pillows, he has to play it cool, he has to, his ego won't let him otherwise, the sofa shifts you are sitting besides his back and keep working, a new voice box being placed and carefully connected, he wishes you would have opted to just sit on him instead, the weight might have helped his too energetic body to calm the fuck down, it had in the past. He grips his forearms to try and focus on anything else but the new feeling of your fingers closing his back and making sure it's closed properly, he already is playing with fire just for having that erection again and now he has a voice and he doesn't trust it to say any more words.

“want to talk about what got you so stressed at three in the morning?” he can hear you yawning, sliding down the sofa, and as he turns to see where you're going, he meets you at eye level, you are sitting at the ground, arms crossed besides his head as a makeshift pillow for your own and attention fully, undoubtedly, on him only.

He can feel his eyes widen, and antennas snap up as a little wave of electricity pass between then, he has three seconds of blue screen before he is back with a smirk in his smug face “why absolutely nothing, i just needed a little fixing it's all and day time it's such a busy time you know, couldn't schedule it for later”

“hmhu” you deadpan his sales persona “alright, mr shivering-at-the-mere-contact-of-skin keep telling yourself that”

“whatever do you mean” he can feel his screen heating, fuck, you sigh and gets up, he stupidly follows your action rising himself too quickly and almost tumbling down the sofa “hey now what's the rush-”

“it's five in the morning” you are already at the door “and i got clients to attend”

“five- fuck” boner be damned he has news to deliver at six “why didn't you told me when it was four!”

“I was too busy rearranging your guts” he can hear the smirk in your voice and now he wants to punch your mouth with his.”have a good day Vox”

And just like that you are gone… he keeps dressing back up, tying his bow tie, getting coffee and checking his phone, life goes on normally, and he is back at 110% in no time. The only thing bothering him is how he will keep telling himself he is alright, nothing to look into, no sir, he doesn't have the worst case of communication allergies known to man that is costing his sanity, absolutely not, he is in control, always, he has to be.

[voidoffline]

OH FOR THE LOVE OF-

Googling is giving me no fucking answer. Neither is Reddit. So, I come to make a post on tumblr, praying to the tumblr gods that someone can give me an answer.

An answer about what you may ask? Well here’s what I’ve been typing into Google with no success;

Why are my thoughts randomly in a language I don’t understand?

No I am not currently learning a second language, I want to but I haven’t started learning yet. Recently I’ve wanted to learn Spanish (Mexican) as there are YouTubers I watch who speak Spanish, and also because I just simply want to learn the language. I have also written characters speaking Spanish before, though I doubt it’s perfect since I figure there’s only so much translators can do for me there.

But about this time, and this is quite recent, suddenly some simple words and phrases started to turn to Spanish in my mind. I found it funny at first, if not a little bit annoying because I had to actively stop myself from answering simple questions and greeting people in Spanish. But it was kinda funny at first! If not wacky and very weird. I chalked it up to the fact that I was watching Spanish speakers.

But then it got worse. It got to be more words, and now, every now and again, my thoughts will be - for like, a short paragraph worth of words - in Spanish. I don’t actually know if it’s Spanish, though all the words sound like Spanish words

I don’t know if this is just some weird fucking phenomenon that comes with watching someone speak in a language you don’t know, or some neurological thing, or what. I am set to see a neurologist in a month because of multiple issues, and I have been having problems with my eyes and vision (for example, my eyes hurting and occasionally my pupils being different sizes) while my eyes themselves seem to be physically healthy according to the eye doctor.

Maybe it’s possible I bumped my head and got some concussion? I did wake up one day with pain in my head, which when showing my mum she said it appeared like I had a not in the back of my head like I had hit it. Though I don’t remember ever hitting my head and the not went away quickly. But do concussion lead to your brain and thoughts randomly being in Spanish????

Like what the fuck is going on????? I mean sure this’ll probably be useful for when I actually start to learn Mexican Spanish, but come on! I’ve accidentally typed and texted things in Spanish because of this, I occasionally slip and accidentally greet people or answer people in Spanish. I don’t fucking know Spanish!! Why and how are my thoughts in Spanish!!??!!

I also keep forgetting some words in English, and my grammar and shit has gotten worse. Like from school testing I know that my grammar and English has gone from being what it was to lower. Not tooo lower, but lower nonetheless. Idk tho maybe that one isn’t because of this and I’m just slacking unknowingly lmao

So. Because my google searching gave me nothing, and because I want answers on this specific thing, I ask you fellow tumblers.

Why are my thoughts in a language I can’t understand

[yannaryartside]

Carmy and Luca teach the same way

and who may be the reason

Soooo I have this crazy theory, about what made Luca and Carmy teach the way they do in the present.

Luca and Carmy have a lot of things in common, like their passion and drive (and those tattoos omfg) but I want to bring some attention to how they treat the people who work for them, particularly when these people are making mistakes.

There is this scene in s1x02 in the new york flashback, you see a cook struggling with a sauce and asking Carmy for revision, and he just says something like "Not ready chef, again" he doesn't call her stupid or screams at her, he just gives the instruction even when they are in the heat of service, giving her the opportunity to correct her mistake, while the executive chef (a piece of shit) sends her home immediately, and then proceeds to insult Carmen. From what I have heard, the behavior of the executive chef is pretty common in the industry at this level, and Carmy comes from an abusive household, so who tf did he learn patience from?

Luca also has a "Not right chef, again," with Marcus, while practicing decorating a dessert. He gives him the opportunity to try again, he doesn't insult him or screams either.

You may think this can be their respective personalities. We know Carmy is gentle and generous at heart, he really wants to see people around him be well. But it seems tooo intentional to make both of them say pretty much the same line to somebody they are mentoring.

Both Luca and Carmy give compliments when they like something, and give direct instructions and explanations, even to people who are total newbies, like Marcus (Luca) and Tina (Carmy). Even when the norm in this industry is to make people feel bad so (hopefully) they are too afraid to make mistakes again, preserving a cult to toxicity.

SO HOW THE FUCK CARMY AND LUCA LEARNED TO BE BETTER?

I think it may be HER.

Again, it seems too intentional. The only thing in common between Carmy and Luca is working for her, and both preserve the motto: "every second counts", in their respective businesses. Like, It is a nice motto, but it may have some other feelings attached to it.

Why the fuck did they cast Olivia Coleman, one of the most wholesome and funny actresses now, that tends to be cast in "mother" roles, for this? They also gave her a sweet name: Chef Terry.

Just imagine the young and hungry Carmy and Luca working for this sweet pie. The only time we see her in "Forks" she is sharing a personal story with a person she has never seen, Richie, and is dedicating time and diligence to a task that is way below her pay grade. Carmy and Luca were both "comis" in her restaurant, also known as line cooks, and their roles were like a soldier to a general, they were not making orders, just regular-ass cooks in this great place. They probably had the opportunity to see Chef Terry give orders and pep talks. Probably both shocked at her personality and approach to her business.

All of her employees have this "service" mentality, instead of an "I am gonna look good and smoke you" mentality, that Carmy mentioned in his monologue. All of them have this motivation to make others happy, and they support one another, they support new ideas and crack jokes in their spare time. Like, all their scenes with Richie (that, sorry, had no talent or reputation for them, they just wanted to respect another fucking human being that wanted to improve) speak volumes.

Carmy and Luca could have learned from Chef Terry, that you can build people up, instead of tearing them apart. I think that would make sense.

I NEED THIS FASHBACK. A CONVERSATION THEY HAD WITH HER, OR HER JUST TALKING TO THE STAFF.

Man, and if it comes in a time when Carmy needs to remember how to be a good leader, from the most "mother" chef he has ever work under? Like man....

btw I really recommend this page if you are confused on the hierarchy of the kitchen:

Anyway, this may be a little of a stretch, but I just think it may be really wholesome, thank you for reading!

[deadbydangit]

Dead by Daylight: Adventures in Texting

I wrote this a while back because I thought it was funny. I hope someone enjoys it.

[The Entity] has started a group: Killers

The Entity: I’ve given you all a phone. We can all keep in contact with each other.

Nightmare: The Hell is this shit?!?

Legion (Frank): looks like a chat room old man

[Legion (Frank)] has changed their name to [Frankie]

Nightmare: Hold up.

[Nightmare] has changed their name to [Freddy]

Freddy: Better.

Trapper: No, we aren’t doing this again.

Nurse: Bloody Hell, again?

Ghostface: Again?

Wraith: We’ve done this before, a long time ago.

Legion (Susie): why did it stop???

[Legion (Susie)] has changed their name to [Sus]

[Ghostface] has changed their name to [BIGDENERGY]

[Trapper]: That answer your question?

Legion (Julie): oh FUCK yeah, this looks fun

[Legion (Julie)] has changed their name to [Jules]

Legion (Joey): wait so, if Danny wasn’t there when the first group chat started, who made it stop them?

[Legion (Joey)] changed their name to [Joey]

Wraith: Herman.

Nurse: He kept trying to experiment on us by sending private messages from other’s phones. He wanted to see us all fight.

Doctor: It worked, didn’t it?

[Doctor] changed their name to [Herman]

Pig: And you wonder why no one likes you

[Pig] has changed their name to [Amanda]

Herman: That’s not what you said last night.

BDENERGY: WHAT?!?!

Amanda: He’s lying.

Freddy: Is Herman a troll?

Frankie: you’re a troll lol

Cannibal: don’t want this…

Trapper: If we’re stuck doing this.

[Trapper] has changed their name to [Evan]

[Nurse] has changed their name to [Sally]

[Wraith] has changed their name to [Philip]

BIGDENERGY: I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T WANT TO DO THIS! HA, POSERS!

Spirit: I already have a bad feeling about this.

[Spirit] has changed their name to [Rin]

Oni: Rin, what is this contraption?

Plague: Why is it beeping incessantly?

Deathslinger: And how can I make the damned thing stop?

Blight: This device is known as a phone. This instrument allows for communication of voice via electromagnetic radio waves from one end point, being a single beings phone, to another, the other individuals phone. Radio waves are used because they cause significantly less damaging to the body than gamma or X-rays.

[Trickster] has changed their name to [Ji-Woon]

Ji-Woon: Wow! Way to ruin phones freak.

Shape:…

Clown: Is he going to say anything?

Artist: It’s Michael. Probably not.

Pyramid Head: I cannn comuunnicate noww.

Sally: His hands are too big for the buttons. And he probably can’t see what he’s writing.

[Shape] has changed their name to [Michael]

Michael:…

Pyramid Head: Butt Iii can taallllk noow

Twins: Frère and I will be sharing this device. If anyone needs anything from Victor, you have to contact this.

Deathslinger: Is no one gonna tell me how ta’ turn this off?

Hag: You can’t Entity made it so you can’t. I already tried throwing it in the bog.

[Hag] has changed their name to [Lisa]

Lisa: Maybe it will work this time?

Philip: I want to say yes, but I know that isn’t the case.

Rin: Oh, I was messaged by the Entity. Sadako’s phone keeps shorting out, so we’re sharing.

Evan: That makes sense.

Nemesis: mmmyy hands aarree tooo biiigg toooo.

[Hillbilly] has changed their name to [Max]

Max: its back the fun thing is back

Huntress: what happens if the face of this thing gets cracked? i threw it at Dwight.

Sus: OMG you broke it already?!?

Max: why anna why break phone

Oni: What does this OMG mean?

Jules: oh my god

Plague: Do not take the name of the Gods in vain!

Joey: no, that’s what OMG means

Frankie: ugghh old people

[Cenobite] has changed their name to [Pinhead]

Pinhead: I opened the box and found this phone inside. Why and how can I rid myself of it?

Huntress: have i broken this thing?

Pinhead: No Anna, it will still function. You’ll just have a difficult time seeing it.

Joey: Wait, how do you know about phones?

Pinhead: I’m a God, I know all.

Dredge: Speaking of God. Hello everyone. 😉

BIGDENERGY: Did it just use an emoji?

Artist: It knows human language?

Clown: It has hands?

Dredge: No silly. I can type using my powers 😊

Sally: I guess Demogorgon can’t have a phone either. Seems he ate it.

Twins: Did the Entity think it wouldn’t?

The Entity: I do not think it would eat the phone, no.

Max: aww puppy sick?

BIGDENERGY: That isn’t a dog.

Pinhead: In your world maybe.

Sus: WTF do dogs look like in your world!!!

Oni: What does this WTF mean?

Evan: Oh my God.

Oni: Isn’t that OMG?

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

🐰🧑‍🧑‍🧒

🐻🧑‍🧑‍🧒

Link to the Prompts :]

🐰👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 (the Afton Family; what were they like?)

Bill is divorced from his ex-wife (Maggie Schmidt) and he has the kids on the weekends prior to CC'S death when Mike elects to go live with him full-time.

He's an okay-to-good dad, actually. He's fun and gets his kids these lavish gifts but he's pretty terrible dealing with emotional problems they might have. Type of guy to get you the new game system but stare at you blankly when you say you feel sad. The Afton kids get more emotional validation out of him when he's in costume.

Maggie is also a decent parent. She's harder on the kids but patient and understanding. She moves a couple towns over and eventually out of state to get away from the absolute mess that is Hurricane and Freddy's after her kids like... die.

Mike didn't take the divorce very well cus he saw his family as picture-esc and he feels weird about that illusion being shattered- Maggie's better than William at actually helping him with that. He still lashes out though mostly agaisnt his little brother. He does love his family a lot though he's tricked himself into thinking he's scaring Nate to "toughen him up".

Lizzie also didn't take the divorce very well but mostly because she wants to spend more time with her dad than she's allowed to. This sorta bubbles into a childish resentment for her mother but it's nothing tooo serious (she still loves her, she still knows her mum loves her, her dad just Gets Her in a way Maggie doesn't).

Nate is a small child and he's generally just confused about everything going on around him. He was a newborn when his parents split so he doesn't really know anything else. He likes his parents cus they're nice to him and hug him when he cries but he's a little scared of bill cus he saw him climbing out of the Rabbit costume once and he HATES THAT THING !!!!! It ATE HIS DAD !!!!! He has the SCARS TO PROVE IT !!! I think he prefers Henry, actually- cus he comforts him when Mike locks him in parts and service. Speaking of.

🐻👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 (the Emily Family; what were they like)

Henry was a shit partner and a slightly less shitty dad. Him and his wife (Eryka) are also divorced but they split before Bill and Maggie did. Henry is very emotionally unavailable (on a good day) and tends to just block everything out when he's too consumed by his work- which is often. He couldn't give Eryka the type of support she needed so they amicably split and tbh Henry hardly noticed. He's trying to be better for Charlie, though. He's still distant but he does things with her and is making a genuine effort. He forgot Sammy existed when Eryka left with him, though. Just completely blocked out his other child.

Eryka is an aspiring author and her leaving Henry and taking Sammy with her is probably the best decision anyone in this franchise has ever made. Her and Sammy just completely dodge all of the shit going on until like... 2017. Obviously she comes back to Hurricane for Charlie's funeral and things between her and Henry are very very tense (him being even more shut down than normal didn't help).

Charlie was a real rough and tumble kid I think. She'd get knocked down and keep swinging till she won. Her and Mike would wrestle pretty often and she'd want to keep going long after he ran out of steam (she'd run and grab him some fruit and plasters after tho :]). She loves her dad and looks up to him a lot but she secretly prefers spending time with Bill. Cus he's funny. She'd go and visit Sammy and her mum monthly :]

Sammy is a lot quieter and more introverted. They takes their parents splitting a little harder than Charlie did cus they LIKED Freddy's and liked hanging out with Nate but... hey what are you gonna do. He grows up to be a school teacher but he keeps up with the goings on in Hurricane. I think they doodle the animatronics every so often. Generally tries not ti think about how fucked up everything that happened was.

[crimsonv1]

'Second Time'

Tim LaFlour imagine <33

𝗧𝗪// 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻, 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘀

-----------------------------------------

While walking down the concrete path at your school, a familiar looking face rolled up beside you on skates. A pierced one, very pierced.

Tim rolled beside you while you walking, as you turned to face him and smile. "Hey Tim-" you were careful of other people not to bump into him.

"ah, hey y/n where are you off tooo?" He smiled happily while asking the question,

"a class, that I have-" you pulled up your wrist to check a non existent watch, " 2 seconds to get to because it's all the way across campus. Tim laughed at your sarcasm. "Alright well, nice seeing youu Tim, and your 'Junkie', friend" You laughed as you walked off,

>>>

You knocked on an apartment door, a nice person soon opening it up. "Hey Darryl," You and Darryl exchanging a small 'secret' handshake. "Just dropping these off for Tim"

Darryl turned around "HEY TIM- Y/NS GOT YOUR POETRY BOOKS" Darryl looked at the books intently "Tell them to wait there!" Darryl looked at you, and walked off into somewhere in the living room. Tim came tushing out of what you guessed was the restroom to greet you.

"oh, hey y/n-!" He said almost out of breath, he grabbed the books from your hand and set them down on a table beside him.

"Hey, just wanted to give those to you- anyways I'm gonna go to the store, you want anything?" "Uh, actually I can just come" Tim said rushed

"alright then, you can come" you laughed a little while saying "your flys unzipped" (OMG that's so old 💀💀🙏) Tim's knuckles almost whitened on the magazine full of women he was holding as the aggressively threw it across the room.

"oh uh sorry, uh- hockey practice." His sweaty palms reached down to zip his pants back up. "Alright well let's go-" He followed after you closing the door.

<><><><><>

Holding some bags between your knuckles you both walked into the complex, Tim rushing to find his key somewhere in his pockets

"you know it turns out that prince Albert wasn't a good idea" "I could've told you that idiot" you said laughing, "That's exactly what Darryl said-" he said soon lifting up his shirt and grabbing the key piercing laughing, your hands tightening more and more around the bags as you were getting tired

"you know, Darryl really is acting Wierd I don't think it's great For-" Getting tired of him trying to not drop the key you let down the bags and yanked the key from him walking off with the chain to unlock the door until you stopped in your tracks, turned around "OH MY GOD- SORR-" before you could finish to a surprised Tim, he let out a loud whimper before falling on his knees with a yell and a sigh "second fucking time" he let out the breath before collapsing.

"Shit." You sighed trying not to laugh your ass off at the sight, Tim , nearly fainted on the ground face on the ground raised up his hand "It's not funny-" he said in a wheeze of a breath. Darryl coming out of the room to the commotion, laughing hard "OH SHIT BAHAHAHA" he pointed.

<><><><><><>><

I'll be making a request board in a second <33

[screampied]

vegas ur hitting it raw post……… NO OH MY GOD 😭😭😭 i fear im pregnant 😭

i was gonna talk about sukuna’s too, but i fear that we’ll be awhile if i go on abt both so lemme js say that sukuna n sucking on the tongue caught me off GAURDDDDD, thats for sure 😻and when he said scream i giggled like a BITCH (im a scream fan so i thought of that too 😭) BUT TOJI!1!?1?1?1?? NO U ATE IM ACC IN TEARS ARUGH

OH MY FUCKING SAHGSHAYWE THE WAY HE’S IMMEDIATELY BENDING YOU IVER LIKE ARYSGD. “where do you think you going?” DONT. THAT “dont run away” SHIT ACC MAKES ME MELTS AUDGWHGSGZGAS HES SO FINENENENWNE IS HE GRABBING MY HAIR????? LWWD “get the fuck back here, no runnin today” bussaNUTTTTTSTTSTSTS 🤤

the mocking of the moans. “im gonna cum tooo” HES SO MEAN IM LITERALLY GONNA DIE HERE then you pull up with him calling the reader gorgeous as a nickname.. i would say im sick but the NEXT PART??? im bedridden. CLINICALLY TERMINALLY ILL 🤧

“cum with me babygirl, c’mon, cum on this dick” im ILL. this is getting a whole paragraph bc when i read this my stomach genuinely did a flip AND IT DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO CARTWHEELS SO IDK WHO TAUGHT IT THAT BUT OMFGS??? THE TALKING THROUGH IT ACC MADE ME DIE. NO NO U DONT GET IT VEGASSSSSS, IM ACTUALLY DYINGGGGGGGGGG THIS IS WHEN THE TEARS CAME IN BC AHHHHHHH THE BABYGIRL THE CUM ON THIS DICK LIKE EVERY MAN SHOULD BE LIKE THIS IM DEAD

“got myself a nasty little bitch” AUGH???? YES THE FUCK YOU DO AND ITS M-E, ME !!! NO THIS ALSO DESERVES A WHOLE PARAGRAPH BC I LIKE BEING CALLED NASTY,,,, BUT A BITCH TOO??? W THE LITTLE????? ALL COMBINED PERFECTLY (i like being called a bitch, to a bad extent…) TO MAKE ME SEE STARS. im not okay. im literally not okay 😭

“where’s my thank you?” youre inching my fingers closer to my holes, im not doing this 😭😭 “thank you sugar” ANDDDDDD IM DONE

“you are on the pill though, right?” “…” LMFOOAOA?? YOU NEVER FAIL TO END IT OFF FUNNY 😭😭😭

i need to acc read the last part of toji dbf im too scared to end it 😞😞💔💔💔 no but frls pookie, this is my fav multi character drabble bc HOT DIGGITY DAWG DID I JS GET FED 😻

— pearl anon <3

HELPPPPPOO i always appreciate ur commentary tysm boo 🙂‍↕️💓

noooo like let’s rly tawk about itttt. running away from toji’s dick he’d rly be like “you ain’t going nowhere, take that shit.” oh i’d pass away tbh reader is stronger than MEEEEE

i need sukuna n toji so bad i’m ill with you 🙆‍♂️

HELPPPDFF ikr the ending, guess we’re baring toji’s child now yolo 🫦

and omg don’t be scaredddddd heh but IKNOWWW i don’t want it to end either sobbing i miss him alr 💔💔💔 hope you enjoy tho pearly tysm :((( n stay safe !!! mwah 💓💓💓

[superbellsubways]

unfoetunately i am insanw... im glad u like my little guys i neevr imagindd devolving into this but auu virus jehe ihm.

i kind of imagined viruses as little forms of matter? mostly things like goop but they can take on lots of appearances :3 something i drew up as an example

rly shit but i imagine some of them will infect standard or actual programs and use their bodies kind of as hosts like a parasite or something!!! :3 theyre kind of like a pestilence ij my head, once theres one virus found theres bound to be more and ofc theyre ranked i bet ...

ollio is an example of a virus that infected an electronic more specifically an ollioscope, which has its own set of powers the virus now has access too! to be fair it needs to be a little bit more creative for those kinds of powers teehee..

alsooo i love that doodle of clippy being infected... ik it was a one off but the implication of viruses being able to infect programs by just being near is so silly to me!! kind of like the flu or soemthing like being more slow/laggy ^_^ or if the assistant is a computer like max it can cause wayy more harm unlike normal scareware and CYW or little guys likd that...

also i didnt mention thid in the post bc i forot 😞 but the idiot siblings can multiply much akin to the actual real life virus!!!!!!!! if they get cut up they turn into two of themselves like a hydra to further infect said computer....

SORRY AHH I LIKE THE IDEA OF VIRUSES IN THEIR WORLD it might be tooo much but auugh its so funsies to me... esp w guys like incognito hehehahehe hrhehc HEHEHEHE giggle giggles loudlt... so sorry again ahhh explods..

LOOKING SO HARD AT THIS This is actually so fucking cool the whole parasite/sickness+host concept and everything AUGHHH them being worse for tech based characters and the ranking .U have a galaxy brain i am eatinf all of this up 😸😸

also the siblings being able to multiply is rlly funny to me HDJSJD i can imagine them running around causing chaos 😭 I love all of this lots how does it feel to bw rhe smartest person of all time

[your-local-uwu-artist]

how's the smurfing going?

it's going good! my google doc is at over 5 pages, I got some nice sketches and the responses have been very helpful and fun >:D (shout out to isopod guy) the only problem is trying to not make my bias of who's my favorite smurf to be tooo obvious fndkjsa

plus the constant struggle between needing to do research and rewatch episodes and read wikipedia articles and the fact that i get what i call 'withdraw-l'... bassically I can only go so long before I just gotta doodle fdnjak

anyway: I SUPPOSE i might as well explain what the fuck I've been doing (if anyones noticed a lack of posts in the past handufl od days: the reason for my absence is that I was busy iwth my smurfing fdja )

bassically I've always had a LOT of questions regarding the smurfs, (many of which I've had sense childhood) and it's been plaguing me because nobody else seems to care to answer these questions, I'll be like 'what chemichal do you think makes them blue?' and 'what form of asexual reproduction do you assume they use' and 'i don't think it makes sense that they'd crush on smurfette, i'd imagine their mono-sex mono-gender society wouldn't really have those concepts or well, be heterosexual for that matter' and everyone responds with 'what aere you on' (the autism spectrum) 'why are you asking me this?' (i want to here your answer) and 'it's just a cartoon' (AND SOMETIEMS YOU GOTTA ASK SCIENTIFIC QUESTIONS ABOUT CARTOONS) so I decided if I must do everything myself so be-it.

essentially I'm planning to make a very silly half video essay half my nonsense 'if i was in charge of a smurfs reboot' video. heres some of the doodles so far!

vanity's always been my favorite so i'm having a hard time convincing myself to draw some smurf other than him fndasjkfnask (Azrael has always been my second favorite lol) I'm really excited to draw more fo smurf village! mushrooms houses my beloved <3 tbh the village is def a plus for the live action films, while giving the smurfs eyelids and lashes and pecs did not work I do enjoy seeing cute fantasy mushroom village in a photorealistic style <3

anyway one very fun thing i learned about while researching is about these really pretty very epic and pog mushrooms that are native to new zealend and just the most brilliant shade of blue

these things are blue-tiful! And there are actually pigmented! (a lot of things in nature aren't actually blue and rather the structure of it refelcts light and shit to give it a blue appearance) the thing that gives em the blue pigment is a kind of 'azulene' but somehow just a brighter varient: they're so whimsical looking!

a funny thing I've found just through research is that a LOT of people aren't aware of smurfettes origin story, or thought that the origin story was from the live action films, this is so strange to me cause like ????? it's been there sense the begining comics, and theres plenty of episodes where it's mentioned

I'm also suprised by how many people seem to be fond of the new female smurfs: so I guess I'm on the unpopular side here, I've always imagined them as sorta sexless and generless, and that female smurfs (excluding artificially made ones like smurfette) just discovered and decided they preferred feminine gender expression/presentation. (i do wish i included a question asking if people as kids assumed them sexless, cause i always have)

idk I'm still working through the new cgi series and my cartoon pirating site doesn't have the second season, so maybe I'll change my mind on them

ufdnsjafnsdk sorry for rambling the hyperfixation has taken hold lmao

[vivithdragtonhear]

This long conversation is being posted here so I can look back on it and think, wow. What even.

[30/1, 11:37 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Peacock/eagle? [30/1, 11:39 pm] 🐸✨Vivi✨🐸: No i was literally making words that wherent actual words [30/1, 11:39 pm] 🐸✨Vivi✨🐸: Like nearly spelling a word but then changing it [30/1, 11:39 pm] 🐸✨Vivi✨🐸: And it started with peas [30/1, 11:39 pm] 🐸✨Vivi ✨🐸: But then i realised peas is in the english vocabulary [30/1, 11:39 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: REALLY!! [30/1, 11:40 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: I was being sarcastic as fuck [30/1, 11:40 pm] 🐸✨Vivi✨🐸: Oh fuck you bitch [30/1, 11:41 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Fine then [30/1, 11:41 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: What do UOU want it to be [30/1, 11:41 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Like pea Oreos or some shit [30/1, 11:41 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Or [30/1, 11:41 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Umm like pea flavoured chesles [30/1, 11:42 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Cheesels [30/1, 11:42 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Tf [30/1, 11:42 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Chessels [30/1, 11:42 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Chesels [30/1, 11:42 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Cheasesl [30/1, 11:42 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: AHAGHAHAGA [30/1, 11:42 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: Oh well [30/1, 11:43 pm] 🐸✨Vivi✨🐸: IT DOESNT NEED TO MEAN ANYTHING [30/1, 11:43 pm] 🐸✨Vivi✨🐸: STOP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND PEAGLES [30/1, 11:44 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: BUT I WANT TOOO [30/1, 11:44 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: ITS A NEED [30/1, 11:44 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: I NEED TO UNDERSTAND YOUR STRANGE NEW INVENTION [30/1, 11:45 pm] 🐸✨Vivi✨🐸: Stop it raven stop i dont want peagles to mean anything. i am sick of this shit! IT IS A MADE UP WORD RAVEN A MADE UP WORD WITH NO MEANING AT ALL. LET IT HAVE NO MEANING. LEAVE THE WORD ALONE. [30/1, 11:46 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: I DO NOT WANT TO PERISH WITH THIS MYSTERY UNSOLVED UNTIL THE END OF TIME [30/1, 11:46 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: I FEEL LOST. WITHOUT MEANING. [30/1, 11:46 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: NO ROPE TO DRAG ME TO SAFETY [30/1, 11:47 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: I SHALL DROWN IN THIS HOLLOW HOLE U HAVE DUG [30/1, 11:47 pm] Raven💙 ◻🐯: YOUR EXISTENCE WILL BE MY DOOM [30/1, 11:47 pm] 🐸✨Vivi✨🐸: Can i actually put this on my tumblr this is so funny