#shit takes from a shit person what's new.

[seungfl0wer]

*𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨*

Pairing: Jisung x Reader (Smut)

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Aphrodisiac, Oral (M), Choking/Hair Pulling(M), Multiple: Rounds/Orgams/Creampies, Riding, Unprotected sex. Sorry for any mistakes or missing warnings.

Find Request Here

-🖤

Jisung had just came home from the store. He had gotten some new chocolates he said tasted really good. When he showed them to you, you couldn’t help but laugh “Ji you know what these are right?” You asked.

“Uhm- good chocolate?” He said.

“These are aphrodisiac chocolate, they’re supposed to make you super horny” you said laughing even harder.

He rolled his eyes “those don’t work”

“Whatever you say, we still going into the studio?” You asked.

“Yeah I gotta get that song done” he replied back.

A little bit later you both headed to the studio. He sat down to work zoning in on his song while you sat on the couch playing on your laptop. It had only been about an hour since he had eaten those chocolates but boy were they hitting him hard now. He felt hot, his cock painfully hard for no reason. He could see the little spot on his pants from the precum. Any movement he made his cock rubbed against his pants making him bite back a moan. He was so so sensitive.

In his clouded thoughts you had gotten up to see how the song was coming along. Your hand brushing over his back making his body even hotter. “Y/n” he whispered.

When you answered back with a hum he turned his chair around. His eyes were hazy, face a bit red. You could see the outline of his cock in his sweats. “Oh- thought those didn’t work hmm?” You said with a grin.

“I’m so hard it almost hurts” he whimpered. “Help me please” he said those big doe eyes looking up at you.

You wanted to have a little fun with this. Jisung was a pretty needy person as it was however this was next level. You wanted to see how much he’d beg “tell me how much you want me, tell me what you want me to do” as you said straddled him. The pure pressure of your body against him was enough to have him drooling. “I want you so badly please- I fuck- do anything I just need you baby” he whined. He grabbed ahold of your hips rolling himself against you. “Please anything y/n fuck-“ he groaned out.

When you got up from him making him whine loudly. Hands chasing after you, you couldn’t help but feel turned on. Jisung was begging so nicely. “Gotta take your pants off Ji” you said getting down on your knees to pull them down. When his cock was finally free he let out a sigh of relief, his cock was so hard. The amount of precum leaking from the tip had your body moving before you could think. You quickly licked over the head his eyes going wide as his hips bucked up. “S-sensitive” he mustered out.

His words only driving you more as you took him back your throat. His head falling back hands frantically gripping at your head. He pushed his hips up to meet your movement letting out the most desperate moans. “I’m already so fucking close-“ he said.

He gripped your head rougher before pushing into your mouth faster. Fucking into your mouth with such need. His cock head hitting the back of your throat. You swirled your tongue around his cock as he used your mouth. You could feel the drool dripping from the sides of your mouth, eyes blinking as tears pricked at them. When you brought your hand up to massage his heavy balls his body stuttered. “Shit- shit!” He moaned out before pushing harshly back your throat. Streams of cum pouring down your throat.

You swallows around him before his hands came to cup your face. He moved quickly pulling your body up to him, slipping your sweats down. He groaned seeing you had no panties on “since when did you not wear panties?” He said.

“Since my dummy of a boyfriend took aphrodisiacs” you said with a chuckle.

You positioned your body on top of him his hands gripping at your hips once more. When you aligned him with your cunt he gave no warnings before pushing into you. He bottomed out quickly his long thick cock hitting your cervix almost instantly. He pulled your body to him fucking up into you ruthlessly. His pace was fast and deep his already overstimulated cock pounding into you.

His nails were digging ever so nicely into your skin, his head in the crook of your neck. His moans were full of need and desperation. “Ji- fuck you feel so good- gonna have to get you more of those” you teased.

He nipped at your neck in response “you’re gonna take them with me next time” he said. He wrapped his arms around you lifting you up. He wrapped your legs around him moving you to the couch. Laying you back down against the couch he pushed your legs up to your chest. His hand came down to toy with your clit before his movements continued.

The new angle made him feel even deeper. His balls smacked against your skin as his pace became quicker. “Fuck- fuck- y/n you feel- fuck you feel to good- m’close” he whined out. Your hand came up to his head gripping at his hair before tugging on it slightly. He liked his hair being pulled almost more than he liked being choked.

The tug was enough to send him over the edge, his cock twitching as it painted your walls. He didn’t stop though oh no. If anything it made him more desperate to do it again. To have you cum with him this time. His hand that was on your clit moved down swiping the cum that dared to fall. He brought his fingers up to you and you happily sucked them clean. Jisung may have a bit of an oral fixation cause when you kept sucking on his fingers he let out the most pornagraphic moan you’ve ever heard from him.

His body was becoming a bit limp from already cuming so much. You took the opportunity of his jello like body to push him back on his back. You straddled him once more before bouncing on his cock. He moaned loudly hands digging back into your sock ass. “Gonna cum again for me ji? Gonna fill me full and let me cum all over your sensitive cock hmm?” You said.

He nodded “y-yes, please- fuck- cum baby” he said. Your hand quickly came down wrapping perfectly around his throat. You rode him relentlessly. His cock bullying its way against your cervix. Your head falling back in the pleasure. You jumped feeling Jisungs hand playing with your clit again. The way your cunt clenched around him had him seeing stars. He dug his feet into the couch before thrusting into you.

His thrusts met yours “gonna-“ you said softly before Jisung thrusted up once more. “Cumming!” You almost screamed as your high flooded over you. Waves of pleasure head your cunt squeezing him hard. His mouth hung open as he came once more. Both of your bodies shaking. You let go of jisung throat laying your body against his.

Both of you tried to regain your breathing. It was only when you went to move did you notice. Jisung was still hard. “How much of that chocolate did you eat?” You asked.

“Uhm.. like 3 bars” he said softly.

“Jisung- are you serious? You’re probably gonna be hard for like 2 hours” you said with a chuckle.

“Let’s go home and I’ll fuck you on every surface” he said.

“How about we get a drink first and then go home” he smiled.

He nodded. When you got home he kept his promise. He fucked you in every room and any place he could. His cock only softening after almost the 10th orgasm. He was so raw by that point his poor cock red and way over sensitive. You were no better though. You had cum about half that amount however the last orgasm had you squirting all over him.

You both laid on the floor breathing heavily before he got up. He ran you both a warm bath grabbing water and some snacks. With no words he pulled you to the bathroom. Snuggled up in the bath he kissed you softly. “Remind me to read labels next time” he chucked.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @felixleftchickennugget

[book-of-my-dreams]

So it's been a hot minute, or maybe a few years, since I've been on here, but I saw this post on reddit and wanted to add my take to it. Unfortunately I couldn't find the post Realismas made in the couple of seconds I've bothered to spend on searching for it, so here's a screenshot:

I hope the fact that it didn't pop up in the search when I looked for it means they've deleted it, because this level of selfishness, entitlement and stupidity is way too much. With that logic you're never allowed to talk about anything because everything is a potential spoiler to someone. You wouldn't be allowed to talk about the Titanic sinking or Romeo and Juliet both dying or even fucking Jesus dying and rising again because some idiot out there could get spoiled.

My hot take: If you're interested in something that's not original and brand new, and you don't want to get spoiled, IT'S YOUR JOB TO NOT SEE SPOILERS!!!! Block the tags, stay off socials, whatever, but you absolutely can't tell other people that they're not allowed to talk about something just because of you.

This entitled attitude is annoyingly common. Whenever a movie comes out in one country, people from a country where the movie hasn't been released in yet get all angry at seeing spoilers from the people in the country that got the movie first. Fucking cry about it.

Recently I saw a reddit post by an American in a The Great British Bake Off sub who was annoyed that people were already discussing the new season even though it hadn't aired in America yet. It's a British show. But he was seriously outraged that people wouldn't wait until the season was out in every. single. country. Just to be clear, the posts he was talking about were all labeled as spoilers, very easy to avoid.

I was always an entire year behind on GoT because I had to wait that long for each episode to be dubbed so I could watch it with my family who don't speak English. And guess what, I didn't get spoiled! Because I'm responsible for what I see on the internet. I didn't stupidly walk right into a discussion about the series and get spoiled and then complain about how everyone should've waited to talk about it until the show was completely dubbed in every language.

Yes, just because something came out a long time ago doesn't mean everyone's seen it, but it also doesn't mean nobody is allowed to talk about it. You're responsible for not getting spoiled. It's your job to censor your online experience depending on what you want and don't want to see. Stop whining about how everyone else should do it for you and, for once in your miserable life, be responsible for own shit.

If you're allergic to nuts and ignore the allergy warning about containing nuts on a food item, you don't get to be mad at the person who gave it to you or demand that nobody sell food containing nuts anymore. Stop looking at posts about a piece of media that you don't want spoiled. That's in your control. But you can't control what other people are talking about, so stfu and cope with it.

[yamumsyadadd]

the shadow of alexia

At 4 years old my entire life changed. One day my dad was at home and the next he wasn’t. Things changed after that. Everyone was sad, lots of people visited too. Sometimes I got new toys when they came over. 

Alba was a scary teenager but Alexia. Alexia was my best friend and I was hers. She would take me to kindergarten and pick me up, she never missed a soccer game or ballet recital, she was always there. So was her special friend Jenni. Jenni was great, when I was little she used to let me colour in her tattoos, Everytime she got a new one, she’s get me new pens to colour on her. 

As time went on, Alba and Alexia started moving out. Alexia moved in with Jenni and started getting busy with football, Alba still lived with Mami but was busy with her friends and modelling. Mami did the best she could. She was getting older and more tired, she didn’t miss a game or my last ballet recital, she didn’t miss the disappointment in my eyes when Alexia or Alba didn’t turn up. They were busy, I understand. 

It went from seeing them a couple times a week, to once a week, to once a month. I learnt pretty quickly the only way to get Alexia’s attention was to either play football or to fuck up. Lucky for me I was good at both. School was boring, it was too easy, I understood it all faster than anyone else. The first time I skipped school, I was 14. No one noticed and no one cared. From there on out it became a routine. At least once a week I’d skip school and hang out with the others. 

I personally never did anything too rowdy, just tagged along to enjoy the vibes. The first time I got caught skipping school was by Virginia. She promised me she wouldn’t tell Alexia or Mami and she kept that promise. The next time was by Alba, she lost her shit. Yelling at me about how irresponsible I was being and how much trouble I would get in. The second last time I got caught was by Jenni, I hadn’t seen her in a while, I was mad at her because of that so when she tried to give me a lecture I yelled at her.

“Y/n, you can’t be doing this shit. If Alexia found out she would lose it at you! What would happen if the police got you? What would you do then?”

“Why do you care Jenni? Huh? You left, you haven’t been around. You fucked off to Paris and didn’t even say goodbye. Tell Alexia, I don’t care, at least then she would talk to me.”

“Y/n, did Ale not talk to you about this?” Her voice was incredibly soft. That was something I missed about her, the way she spoke, the softness that was hidden from most people. 

“She doesn’t talk to me at all. She doesn’t give a fuck about me.”

“Bebeita, we broke up. Thats why I left. we ended things and to be able to heal I had to leave. I am so sorry, she promised she would talk to you about it. I wanted to say goodbye to you myself but Alexia said it would be a bad idea.”

From there things spiralled. I didn’t want to talk to Alexia, I didn’t want to see her. I stopped going to her games with Mami, I would sneak out when I knew she was coming over. No longer did I look up to her, I hated her. I wanted nothing to do with her. 

The day I quit football, I felt free. No longer having to play to get my oldest sisters attention, I didn’t care for that anymore. I had more time to hang out with my friends, to be a normal fucking teenager. 

It took a week, it was quicker then I thought to be honest, but once Alexia found out, all hell broke loose. 

“Where the hell is she!” Alexia stormed through the house. Surprising Eli. 

“Who Alexia?” 

“The Idiota. Your mija?” Alexia huffed. Eli was surprised by the way Alexia was acting. 

“In her room with her friend.”  Before Eli could say anything else, Alexia was off. Swinging open the door and disturbing the peace between you and your girlfriend.

“You, get out.” 

“No Alexia. You don’t get to tell her to get out.” I got defensive fast. There’s no way she gets to come here and tell her she needs to leave. 

“GET OUT NOW!” Alexia’s ‘captain’ voice was something that always got people moving. 

“You don’t get to come here and act like you run the place. News flash alexia, you don’t fucking live here!” 

“¡Dios mío! What is happening! Why did Isabella leave crying?” Mami looked pissed. More so at alexia than me. 

“Alexia kicked her out. For no reason other than the fact that no one else is allowed to be happy but her.” 

“Tell her what you did!” When I was younger, the look she was giving me would’ve scared me, but now it did nothing. 

“I didn’t do anything alexia. Whatever your minions are telling you isn’t true. But hey, you wouldn’t listen to me anyway.” I tried to push past her, but she grabbed my wrist stopping me from moving. 

“Mami she quit football. She fucking quit. After everything I’ve done for her she throws it back in my face!” Rolling her eyes and scoffing at me. 

“Let her go now. I am aware she quit Alexia. She was only doing it for you.” Mami was mad, very mad. Alexia had come and disturbed the peace, making Isabella cry and screaming the house down. 

“Grab me like that again I’ll drop you on your ass. I don’t give a fuck that you are la Reina.” The words came out like venom. 

Everything is always about Alexia. I joined football to get close to her, I didn’t mean to get as far as I did, I honestly didn’t think I’d get past the academy. Being called up into the Barca B squad was cool. I enjoy the fitness side of it but genuinely couldn’t care less about actually playing. 

The same day I quit, was the same day I got called up for the senior team. It sent me into a bit of a spiral. Mapi found me in the corner of the physios room with my sketchbook, crying. 

“Oh nena! What’s wrong? Do you want me to get Ale?” 

“No! Not ale! Don’t tell her please!”

“Okay no Ale but can you tell me what’s got you so worked up?” 

“I got asked to join the senior team and I don’t want to. I only started playing so Alexia would be nice to me and talk to me. I don’t even like this stupid game! I just want to draw but that’ll never be good enough for her.”  

After that, Mapi and I would get coffee in the mornings, I would show her my new drawings and tell her my ideas. She paid me to draw a photo of her and Ingrid. I knew she could draw herself but it was nice to have her in my corner.  Mapi was talking more about to me Alexia, saying how good my drawings were and how much happier I seemed not having to play, she seemed to miss the confusion written all over Alexia’s face. 

 •———————————————————————•

Mami had a trip coming up, I knew about this, but what I didn’t know what she was going to make me stay with alexia. Isabella and I came home after the movies to find Mami, Alexia, Alba and some other chick sitting at the table. I mumbled a quick hello before trying to drag Isabella upstairs. 

“Don’t be so rude. Actually say hello.” Alexia spoke angrily. 

Scoffing I turned around “bite me Alexia.” 

“¡Dios mío! Isabella Mi vida, it’s time for you to go home. You can wait upstairs for your Mami.” 

“Mami no. That’s not fair. She doesn’t get to come in here and start bossing everyone around!” 

“It’s okay amor, I should go home anyway. We have that biology exam anyway.” 

“Now that your little friend is gone, sit down.” 

“No.” 

“SIT DOWN.” 

“Ale, Cálmate.” The mysterious brunette says as she places her arm on alexia’s. 

Fuck all this shit honestly. Turning as fast as I could I ran upstairs, knowing Alexia would follow quickly. I was right. I was barely able to push my dresser against the door before she tried to open it. I was not going to sit at that table and play happy families. 

After an hour of listening to Alexia curse, she finally gave up. It was peaceful until Alba climbed through my bedroom window. 

“Still got it.” 

“Alba what the hell!” 

“Hermana, I don’t know what happened between you and Ale, but if it’s the same thing that happened between me and you then you need to talk to her. She’s worried about you and scared. She doesn’t want to lose you.” 

“She only cares now that she thinks her precious imagine is going to get hurt.” 

“If you talk to her now, while Olga is here, it’ll be easier. She calms Alexia down and makes her think more rationally.” 

“Who the fuck is Olga?” Was that the mysterious brunette in the dining room?

“What do you mean? She’s alexia’s girlfriend? You’ve met her before?” 

“No I haven’t. I didn’t know she had a girlfriend.” 

“Yes you met her a dinner a few months ago? She comes to Ales games and on Fridays when we have dinner!”

“I wasn’t invited to that dinner, I don’t go to Alexia’s games and I certainly don’t go to Friday dinners!” The angry tears started. Alexia was my hero, my bestfriend, the person I wanted to be and now I’ve been pushed aside. I know nothing about her and she equally knows nothing about me. 

Alba pulled me in tight, letting me cry on her. It was weird doing it with her, she used to be the reason I cried and not the one to comfort me. But here we are, things change I guess. 

“Mami really needs to talk with you so we need to go downstairs.” Begrudgingly I let alba pull me down the stairs. It was obvious to everyone that I had been crying, mami’s face softening when she saw me, Alexia’s face frowning in confusion. 

“You wanted to talk so please do it quickly. I want to go to bed.” I tried to speak as respectfully as I could to Mami, it wasn’t her fault. 

“Mija, I’ll be away for a month, you know this si?” I nodded my head before she continued, “you’re too young to stay here for a month alone so you’re going to stay with Alexia and Olga. You can still see your friends and will go to school, but they will look after you.” 

“Mami no! I can look after myself!” 

“You’re 16 chica. You’re not an adult like you think you are.” Alexia scoffed from the other side of the table. 

“So what? You’re shipping me off to stay with Alexia, who won’t even been there half the time and a stranger? That’s safer? Some person that I’ve never met and sure as shit don’t trust!” 

“Stop being such a Perra! You have met Olga, plenty of times! She comes to all the games she can, and to dinners all the time.” 

“Ale stop” Alba knew what was coming and tried to stop it but it was too late. 

“Dios mío, your head is so far up your own arse isn’t it? I haven’t been to a single game in over 8 months, I don’t get invited to you stupid little Friday night dinners and I have never met your girlfriend! Up until an hour ago I didn’t even know you had a fucking girlfriend Alexia. Everything is always about you. You and your stupid football or your stupid knee. I bet you right now you couldn’t tell me anything about what I’ve done in the last year, can you?” 

“I know you quit football because you’re being a brat.” 

Her answer honestly made me chuckle “Okay Alexia, anything else?” 

Silence. She couldn’t tell you a single thing. 

“Yeah that’s what I thought. You know nothing about me and that’s how it’s going to stay. I dont trust you, I don’t like you and I sure as shit don’t love you. You’re not my Hermana.” With hot tears falling down my face, I stormed back upstairs. I text Isabella asking if I could stay over and once she replied with a yes, I was gone. Out the window like Alba had come in an hour earlier. I texted Mami to let her know, I wasn’t that horrible to make her worry. 

“Mami, you can’t let her talk to people like that! She’s incredibly disrespectful!” 

Alba rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Are you serious? That girl used to hang off you. She looked up to you. It was always you alexia and now she wants nothing to do with you. You don’t invite her places, you don’t care about her. I noticed ages ago she was pulling away and I fixed it. Did you know she has a girlfriend? Or that she’s taking senior classes because she’s the smartest there? Or the fact that people are paying her to make them art or buying the pieces she already has. She quit football because she hates it. She hates it because of you. You ruined it for her. Mami, I will stay here with her while you’re gone. It’ll be better that way. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to drop her off at Isabella’s.” 

“No! It’s a school night! She cannot be going out!” It seems everything that was just said to Alexia, went in one ear and out the other. 

“Alexia stop it now. She is allowed to stay at her girlfriend’s house, she has an exam at 1pm. Maybe you need to listen to what people are saying to you. I am going to bed, I suggest you all do the same, at your own houses.” 

“Why does no one listen to me!” Alexia was annoyed, overwhelmed and tired. It had drained a lot of her energy being here tonight. 

“Ale, I’m going to say this one time, you need to listen to what everyone has told you tonight, really listen, because you aren’t. You need to fix things with her but you need to sort your shit out first.” Olga had stayed silent most of the night, listening to everything that was said knowing her girlfriend wouldn’t. You were right, you had never met each other. What Olga didn’t realise was that it was Alexia’s fault, not yours. She put it down to being a moody teenager who was too cool to hang out with her sisters, oh how wrong she was. 

•———————————————————————•

Two days before Mami was meant to go away, Alba rang saying she couldn’t stay over. She had gotten a modelling gig in Madrid and needed to go, that left Alexia and Olga. It would be the longest month of my life. Mami promised nothing would change just because I was staying here, she was wrong. Alexia was a bitch. 

The first few days were fine, alexia would drop me off at school and I’d make my way home after, I generally spend it was Isabella because Alexia wouldn’t let her come over. We go into the city centre, get coffee and do our homework then catch the bus home. We did this even when Mami was here so it wasn’t anything new but when Alexia found out she hit the roof. 

“You cannot be going into the city by yourself! Are you thick in the head?” 

“Jesus Christ alexia! I’m not alone. Isabella is with me. Mami lets me do it so I’m going to keep doing it.” 

“Is Isabella the reason you’re skipping school too?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I scoffed, storming off the guest bedroom and slamming the door so hard it made Olga jump. 

By the third day of me being there, Alexia had turned up to pick me up herself. I tried to completely ignore her but Isabella had other ideas. 

“Your sister is death staring me right now.” 

“No amor, not you but me. Oh fuck here we go, she’s coming over here.” 

“Get in the car y/n.”

“No. I told you yesterday that I’m allowed to do this. You’re not the boss of me.” 

“Bebeita, it’s fine. I’ve got chores to do for papa anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She kissed my cheek and then walked away, leaving me no choice but to get in Alexia’s car. 

The car ride was hell. Alexia was pissed, her hands constantly gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckle turned white. Neither of us spoke. To be honest, I didn’t know where we were going until we turned up at the training ground. 

“Why are we here?” 

“We have training. Get out.” 

“No alexia. I quit. What part of that don’t you understand.” 

“Get out now, or I will drag you out.” 

Knowing she would literally drag me out, I had to wait it out. She’d turn her back eventually and I could leg it. I’m faster than her and more willing to jump fences. 

The time came sooner than I thought, after entering the change rooms, she threw a set of clothes into my chest and walked off to the bathrooms. This was my chance and I wasn’t going to waste it. 

Throwing the clothes into her cubby, I legged it out the door. Running past Mapi, Ingrid and Ona who all had confused looked on their faces. As soon as I got out, I kept running, knowing i had to get a head start. I wasn’t really sure where I was going, I knew I couldn’t go back to Alexia’s, Olga would be there. I couldn’t go home because that’s the first place she’d go, I couldn’t go to Albas because she drag me back by my ear. There was only one place to go. 

Can Cuyás Golf Culb was the best place to hide. Sure someone might see me, but it’s easy enough to pretend to be lost. 

The first thing Alexia noticed when she came out was the lack of you. Then the clothes she had given you, thrown back into her cubby. 

“Have you seen y/n?” She asked as she turned to the girls in the locker room. 

“She ran past us like 5 minutes ago?” Ona spoke up. 

“Did she say anything?” 

“No she was in a bit of a hurry Ale.” Mapi rolled her eyes at her best friend. 

“Fuck sake.” Alexia exited the locker room, walking through the facility to try and find you. Slight panic kicked in when she wasn’t able too. Deciding to call Alba first, knowing you’d been closer to her the past few months. 

“Hola Ale, to what do I owe this pleasure?” The sarcasm dripping from her voice. 

“Have you seen y/n?” 

“No why? What happened?” Panic arising in Alba. 

“I picked her up from school and bought her to training. Gave her clothes to change into and I went to the toilet and came back and she was gone. She fucking ran off.” 

“Why the hell would you try and make her train Alexia! She quit. She doesn’t want to play anymore!” Alba quickly became anger with the oldest Putellas. 

“She is too good to throw it all away! She’s being a stupid child about all of this!” Quickly becoming defensive, not enjoying the way Alba is talking to her. 

“You’re unbelievable. I haven’t seen her, I will try and find her. Don’t you worry, put your football above her like you always do.” 

“Alba-“ she hung up before alexia could get another word in. There was one person left that Alexia had to call. 

“Hola amor, why aren’t you training?” Olga’s sweet voice sounded through the phone. 

“I’ve lost y/n. Can you please let me know if she comes home and if she does then don’t let her out of your sight.” 

“What do you mean you’ve lost her Ale?” 

“I bought her to training and she ran away while I was in the bathroom.” Pinching the bridge of her nose, Alexia already knew by the silence on the other end that Olga was trying to not yell at her. 

“Alexia-“

“No I know okay. I already got an ear full from Alba. I have to go but I’ll call you later okay. I love you.” Slowly it started to creep in the fact that she had fucked up and caused you to run away. Training dragged on for Alexia, hoping that you had been found or made contact with Alba or even Olga. 

Meanwhile, after hiding at the golf course for an hour, i decided to head to Isabella’s house. Knocking on the door, Isabella answered, still buttoning up her shirt. Eyes wide when she realised I was at her door. 

“Wh-what are you doing here?” She closed the door slightly, so I could no longer see into the loungeroom. 

“I ran away from Alexia. I was hoping we could hang out like normal?” 

“Now’s not really a good time. I have someone here.” Isabella spoke quietly, not wanting to allude to the fact that the person inside wasn’t just a friend. 

“Baby come back, we weren’t finished.” A guys voice yelled out. 

“It’s not what you think y/n!” 

“I think that guy wants your attention. I’m guessing that’s the reason you’re half dressed. Enjoy your time with him, we are done.” Tears welling in my eyes. 

“I’m sorry y/n!” 

“Go fuck your self Isabella.” sadness turned into anger real quick. 

Isabella was my first girlfriend, my first kiss, the first person I had sex with and she goes and fucks a guy? While we are together? This is literally the last thing I wanted to deal with. 

Unsure on what to do, or who to call I found my way to the beach. My throat and eyes hurt from crying so much. The pain in my chest was getting worse. Pulling out my phone, ignoring all the messages and calls, I rang the one person who would calm me. 

“Hey Calabaza? What’s up?” Jenni’s voice rang through my ears. Unable to form a coherent sentence, only sobs coming out of my mouth. 

“Hold on Bebé” I could hear her moving around, the voices of her teammates getting quieter, “talk to me. What happened?”

“I ran away. I ran away from Alexia and I went to Isabella’s house and she-she was cheating on me. With a guy. A fucking dude. She broke my heart Jenni. It hurts so much.” 

“Oh babé. Where is Ale now? Where are you?” 

“I don’t know. She’s probably at training. I’m at the beach where Papa used to take us. She’s going to be so mad at me.”

“Can you tell me why you ran away from her?” The way Jenni spoke so sweetly was something I missed dearly. 

“She got me from school and took me to the training grounds. She was trying to make me train but when she went to the bathroom I ran away. I don’t want to train, I don’t want to play. I hate the game and I hate her. She doesn’t listen or care about me!” I could feel myself getting upset again. 

“Okay okay, just breathe. You’re okay. I’m not going to tell her where you are but I need to tell someone. Albs has messaged me and so has Olga. You can pick who I tell.” 

Pondering the options, Alba would tell Alexia but she’d also be just as angry and upset. Olga would tell Alexia but she’d be calmer and softer, that was what I needed at this moment. 

“Olga. But tell her not to bring Alexia.” 

“Okay bebé.” After a few moments she spoke up again, “she’s on the way. She promised no Alexia. Do you want to stay on the line with me until she comes?” 

“Yes please. Can you tell me about Mexico?” Sniffling and wiping my face, I got up, walking towards the road to wait for Olga. After 25 minutes, Olga pulled up. A sad smile and worry on her face, she put an arm around me. 

“Is Olga there now?” Jenni asked. 

“Yeah she is. Uh thanks Jenni. Sorry for disturbing you.” Embarrassed about haven taken her time. 

“No bebé, you don’t need to thank me or apologise. We are hermanas no matter what okay. You call me tomorrow when you’re feeling better. I love you.” with that she hung up. Reality slowing sinking it. 

“Let’s get you home yeah? Are you hungry?” Olga smiled sadly at me. 

“No thanks. Just tired.” I mumbled out. 

The drive back to Alexia’s was quiet. When we pulled up, Alexia’s car wasn’t there, meaning she wasn’t home. That was good. Very good. 

“She’s at Albas house. I told her you had messaged me but that I didn’t know where you were yet. It’s a small lie, but I’m sure it’s worth it.” 

“Alexia hates lying.” I said lowly. Thinking back to all those times as a small girl that she yelled at me for lying. 

“I know Pequeño. Do you want to tell me what happened today?” 

“Everyday Isabella and I go into the city and have coffee and do our homework, but today Alexia came to school and got me. She drove us to the training grounds and said I had to train. But I-i quit. I don’t want to play anymore, I don’t enjoy it and only did it for Alexia but it was never enough. Nothing I do is ever enough for her.” Olga grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze for me to continue. 

“I went to Isabella’s house and she had someone there. A guy, a guy that she was fucking. She was cheating on me for god knows how long. I thought everything was good with us. She was my first girlfriend and my first kiss. I lost my fucking virginity to her and she goes and fucks someone else? It just hurts. So much. Everything is hurting so much.” 

“Oh pequeño. Come here.” Olga held me tight, my tears slowly soaking her shirt. 

“Why doesn’t she love me like she loves Alba? I don’t understand.” 

“Alexia?”

“Mhm. Nothing I do is good enough. I just want her to care about me more. Why can’t she?” It broke Olga’s heart hearing me say that. She didn’t know what was happening but she knew Alexia needed to fix it and fast. 

After slowly showering, I thanked Olga and excused myself to bed. I didn’t think I had any tears left to cry but after crying for a while, I managed to pass out. 

 •———————————————————————•

After you went to your room, Olga texted Alexia, telling her she was here and safe. Alba and Alexia both rushed back to her home. Angry and worried at you, ready to both give you an ear full. 

“Where is she Olga?” Alexia came in loudly. 

“Keep your voice down. Both of you.” Olga was very firm. 

“No she’s in trouble. She doesn’t get off lightly, we have been so worried about her.” Alexia sooke back angrily, usually she’d listen to her girlfriend but this had sent her into a rage. 

“Really Ale? You’ve been worried? So worried you couldn’t train right? That you spent all night calling her friends or going to her favourite spots to try and find her?” Olga had had enough. 

“Amor that’s not fair.” 

“No you know what’s not fair? The fact that neither of you have been listening to her. She doesn’t want to play, she did it for you Ale. She wanted to make you proud of her. She hated playing but you wouldn’t know that. She loves to draw, and she’s really really good at it. She showed me all her work.” 

Olga walked to the couch, extremely disappointed with the two women standing in front of her. 

“Her girlfriend cheated on her. She found out this afternoon. She rang Jenni and Jenni messaged me. That’s how I found her. She was at the beach, heartbroken. Then when we got home, she asked why you didn’t love her Ale. She thinks you don’t care about her. That girl may have broke her heart tonight, but you broke her heart first Alexia. You’ll need to live with the fact that you were her first heartbreak.” Olga was exhausted. Neither Alexia Or Alba said anything. Both sitting in opposite ends of the lounge room, tears silently falling. 

Olga excused herself to bed, leaving the older two in the lounge room to mull on their thoughts. She promised herself after your heartbreaking confession that she would have your back through this. Whatever tomorrow held, you would face it together. 

[baambied]

˚° ᡣ𐭩. ° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

unedited

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - her setup isn't the cleanest, old soda cans taking up most of the room... her stream can always spot one in the corner of the screen. One day, it's an old pepsi can, and another day, it's an old sprite can.

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦- type of person to play roblox games on her stream (especially the scary ones) in her words roblox games are the types of games LEGENDS play

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - wifi quality is ASS her fans always wonder how tf she's able to stream, like you're watching the screen and suddenly it freezes before resuming and she's not even on screen anymore (she went to get some snacks)

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - cringest person ever, but hey, at least she's free

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 -when she first started streaming no one knew how she looked like and it wasn't because she didn't show her face it was because her camera quality was so fucking bad to the point no one could clearly see her (but her voice would always go viral)once she did get a new camera her chat went CRAZY which really confused her

"okay chat! so my old ass uncle got me a new camera so how we looking!" ellie said with a stupid goofy grin on her face as she made sure the camera was straight, she than sat down as she looked at the chat.

"uh chat..what's happening- why are you guys acting like you've never seen my face before.." the auburn girl asked quietly in confusion and slightly concerned as she looked at the comments from her stream.

@abczoobys: ZOO WEE MAMA GURL UR FINEEEE

@lesbodotcom: omg we can actually see ypuuuu

@lesbinsmtime:can ur gf fight?

@bigDINAenergy: finally you got rid of that crusty grainy ass camera

@cybergurk67:GURL UR FINEEEEEE

@calokuchis: is that a strap in the back?

@nosoundwhere5:replying to @lesbinstime yk damn well this ho don't get bitches 🤣🤣

"DINA SHUT UP!" ellie yelled in defense for her old, well beloved camera with her voice cracking in the process "OH MY GOD GUYS WAS MY CAMERA THAT BAD?????"

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - her headset can't even fit on her head for some odd reason, literally looks like the top is floating which her chat always points out but she just says in defense while touching it "guys it's literally supposed to be like this" with a little stupid grin

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - would stop the game to take little breaks and happily show the chat a new t-shirt she got with a stupid slogan "yo chat i got a new shirt- this shit is fireee"

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - sometimes she accidentally streams without turning on her other camera so the stream can't see what she's playing, it would literally just be her face in the camera and that's it and the chat is just confused cause they can't see what game she's playing.

"BRO BRO BRO HES CHASING ME CHAT CHAT DO YALL SEE THAT?! HES RIGHT BEHIND ME!" ellie yelled as she continuously hopped in her chair (lol??)

@sonicfasten: wtf

@user183838: can yall see what she's playing?

@usernma5e: her mic sounds horrible 😭

@gayhotqueen: this dumb bitch....

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - choice based games are her worst enemy, her chat genuinely got scared when she said that her next game she was gonna play was Detroit Become Human

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - swear she would literally discuss the choice with her chat and still end up picking the wrong answer

"GUYS GUYS I DIDN'T MEAN TO CLICK THAT WHAT THE FUCK!" ellie yelled in panic as she tried to click buttons on her controller to try to go back and start over

@sonicgam1ng: HES GONNA DIE NOW

@user6171781: how'd she manage to fuck this up

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - she sucke at shooting games, too, but claims she's actually really good at them (she's ass) "chat I'm about to go ham" she claims as she dramatically cracks her knuckels

"chat I swear I'm usually good at this game- im just nervous!"

@elliesgurls: bruh who tf told her to play this again...

@userhshh5: ..put the fries in the bag..

@sonicgoes: NEVER let her touch this game AGAIN

@girlsgoceazy4lesbians: SHES ACTUALLY SO ASSCHEEKS LMFAO

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - if she's playing a game and that involves a mic and hears a girl she'd tried to rizz them up "ohmygod is that a girl- chat I'm about to rizz her up" she says rubbing both her hands together, pretending to be nonchalant when in reality she's scared

@lizlivesuh: please don't ellie..

@cyberprinces6s: girl she don't want u

"hey what's ur name pret- OH MY GOD" ellie began to say before her voice cracked so BADLY she immediately rushed to leave the game as she repeated "chat that was so embarrassing that was embarrassing OH MY god"

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - she has a bruise on her forehead for constantly banging her head on her mic in front of her when she gets jumpscared by a scary game

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - one time joel popped up into her live chat cause a fan found his facebook and gave him a link to her twitch account, which happened to be unfortunate for her cause the time he commented was when she was playing a not so pg game

"guys i think we about to get naked right now i don't knowwwwwww" ellie exclaimed while shaking her head as she looked in the chat, her happy expression quickly faded as her she caught sight of the chat.

@username44: GUYS IS THAT REALLY ELLIES DAD?!

@boombox66: NO FUCKING WAY???

@user678889: BRO???

@lesbinsimisgpod: ELLIE UR DAD 😭😭

"GUYS WHOS DAD?!?" ellie yelled while pausing the game, her mouth halfway open as she looked through the chat in utter confusion

@joelmiller8: hey kiddo, I don't think you should be playing these types of games 🫶 but if it makes you happy

@joelmiller8: also you left your laundry out should I put it in the washer?

"WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK JOEL GET OUT!" the chat is all putting laughing emoji's and tagging joel in random post and comments....(joel recieved over 100 friend request after this😭..)

˚° .𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 - ever since roblox added the mic feature NO ONE could separate her from it, trust ellie WILL argue with children on any roblox game.

"that's why your mic sounds like your drowning!" the random kid in the game said as he ran up to ellie's ugly ass avatar, ellie literally has no chill "that's why i was drowning in your mom last night OUUUU YEAH HOE!"

@sonicrisen: HELLOOO???

@gogobro67: THAT'S A CHILD ELLIE 😭😭

@username6o7:BRO HELP I CANT STOPP ELLIE

this is literally her

[aelfgiure]

"For the last time," the person holding the gun to your head sighs, trying to sound reasonable, "where is Cheengwun? You're only -"

You hear a distinctive popping noise, louder than you were expecting, and the person threatening you gets a funny, confused look on his face before falling to the ground in a puddle of his own blood. Your brain bluescreens for a moment, trying to interpret what happened through the fog of adrenaline and terror.

When you come back to yourself, you're sitting in the kitchen, a cup of tea with cream and honey in your hand. You've downed half of it, it seems, without thinking, and when you look up from the cup your housemate is standing there, regarding you with a look of fondness.

"Need more tea?" he asks, and refills the cup, topping it off with more cream and a spoonful of honey.

"Ah. Dude. What -" you start to sputter, and he holds up a hand to stop you.

"Finish that tea first, okay? It's going to be a minute before you calm down enough to have a coherent internal narrative, let alone rational conversation."

Okay, fair enough. He seems to know what he's talking about, because after you finish the tea and have a shaking fit that feels more like a seizure than anything else, you actually do feel ready to talk.

"Dude. What the FUCK?!" Not the classiest conversation starter, but it's the most appropriate question you can come up with right then. "And do we need to expect more of this shit? Will we have to move? Ah shit, we gotta clean that mess up or I'll never get the security deposit back, what do we do?"

He blinks at you, surprised, then throws his head back and laughs. "oh my god, Jim, you're the best roommate ever. Save questions till the end, okay? It's a long story."

With that, he launches into a narrative that would make Ian Flemming take notes and Tom Clancy swear in frustration that he hadn't thought of it first. By the time he's done, the sun has set and your brain is full, the information sloshing around like Legos in an industrial washing machine.

"You've been a great roomie," he concludes, "and the Agency owes you a big one, not even touching on my personal debt to you. If you want to move out and move on, that's fair. It'll be covered.

"However, you handled that really, really well, especially for a first time. That asshole came after me because my old boss is getting the band back together again, and, um. We could really use a computer toucher on our team now, so there's a job opening, if you want it."

Well.

You think about it. Your day job is customer facing, which sucks (and also explains how you could stare down a gun without flinching, you'd dealt with homicidal douchebags before) and it never paid well. Besides, you liked having him as your roommate. Liked how he would out of the blue start talking about random stuff, or how he would tidy up after himself without being asked. He paid his part of the bills on time.

"Does this come with dental? because yeah, you're cool. I'd like to work with you." You grin at the expression of relief that crosses his face, and stand up. "But first, you're buying me a goddamn steak dinner and a new pair of pants, because damn. That was one hell of a job interview."

Today you just found out your roommate with strange hobbies, like knowing how to pick a lock, knows how every puzzle and cipher by heart, or how to commit tax fraud, and so many other things, wasn't a guy with ADHD, he was an ex-assassin and now you have a gun pointed at your face

[the-californicationist]

What would your fave position to be in with the 141, either individually or together... asking for a friend... <3

Mmm. Well. If it were me, personally?

(NSFW/MDNI under cut)

For Gaz, it’s gonna have to be big spoon little spoon. He’d be making us both late for work every morning, turning my hips just right so that he could slip his heavy morning wood inside. He’d start off so soft and gentle, but by the time he was stuffing himself down to the root of his huge cock, I’d wake up, feeling the wetness he’d been busy creating, nearly choking from how full I feel. My body would be rocking back and forth as he had his way with me. And when I chastise him for making me miss the train? Just placating little excuses murmured between kisses — “I’m already workin’, babes. Can’t ya feel your man? Hard at work…”

For Ghost, it’s the cowgirl to lotus to missionary pipeline. He’d start off flat on his back, demanding some face sitting or a sixty-nine situation. Then, he’d stick me right on top, egging me on — “Lemme see those fuckin’ tits bounce, love. Good girl.” Then, he’d get too bothered, unable to hold back, too hungry, too much of a control freak. So he’d sit up, wrapping his legs behind me, moving my hips with his hands and grinding me into a shaking trembling mess. Finally, when I could barely remember my own name, he’d press forward, pinning me on my back, arching over me like a shield, telling me — “Shh, shh. Tha’s alright, love. You don’t need to fuckin’ talk. Suck on my fingers like it’s my prick, yeah? Tha’s it… all the way in, there ya go.”

For Soap, it has to be legs-over-shoulders. That big Scottish cock is curved and I will be taking no notes! None. It’s bent at a cruel angle and perfectly shaped to drag his ruddy head right across my g-spot with every stroke. He’d love to press my thighs to my chest, going deeper or harder, his hands staying busy with my clit or my nipples or my mouth, always finding new buttons to push. He’d especially enjoy ripping mind-breaking orgasms from me, shoving my vibrator against my clit as he fucked me, teasing me with it and saying shit like — “Is she gonnae come again for me, bonnie? I ken there’s one more in her, and I willnae stop until I have it…”

And for my darling captain, John Price, it’s nothing but straight-up, bone-shaking, soul-rattling doggy. After a long hard day of dealing with unimaginable bullshit? I’m on all fours in the fucking foyer, face pressed into the hardwood, pussy spread open like a cheap whore, stuffed full of cock. When he sees me in that tight pair of jeans that he likes a little too much? There I am, shirt raked down below my breasts, back arching as I’m bent over the kitchen counter, his meaty palm wrapped around my neck, bruising my hips with how hard he’s rutting into me from behind. In the middle of the night, his fat prick drooling and heavy, swaying between his huge thighs? He’ll fist my hair in one hand and grope my ass with the other as he breeds me, snarling into my ear, “Filthy fuckin’ slag. Whose cunt is this? Hmm? Nuh-uh. Say my real name…” And he won’t come until I call him Daddy.

But all together? Preferably a perfect seal: Price and Soap fighting to fit inside my pussy, Gaz stuffing himself deep in my ass, and Ghost filling up my throat!

What about you, anon?? Got any favorites?

[quitesins]

Pro Hero!Bakugou x Criminal!Reader

Masterlist

Tags: Sfw, Drabble?, Female!reader, Reader is implied to be younger and homeless, dialogue heavy, ooc?

This happens a right after the events of vol 42/the epilogue, this is sort of a snapshot of an already established dynamic in my head

“You look miserable.”

He seems surprised to see you. Which is weird. Dynamight has always been so hyper aware of his surroundings, especially when you, half-criminal, half-comrade, show up.

“Piss off.” Dynamight grunts, locking the doors to his car and turning away from you. His expression is as frustrated as ever, but there’s something solemn underneath.

“You get rejected?” It’s just a joke, but he stiffens like you’ve hit the mark. “Holy shit, you did?” You can’t let him go, not with this in your pocket now.

He pushes past, albeit gentler than the times you’ve felt him body check you before. He grumbles something, uncharacteristically quiet.

“What?” He’s at his door now, and though you’ve already trespassed far into his front garden, it feels a bit invasive to peer into his home. “I just never expected you to be interested in that stuff.”

Dynamight’s keys jingle in the silence where he doesn’t answer, his door opens and as always you look away. He stands too still for a second too long, then sighs, turning to invite you in.

You tilt your head, eyeing him warily. He doesn’t let you ruminate or even ask, his hand on yours, tugging you in himself.

You’ve only ever been in the doorway, so following him past the foyer, taking your shoes off like you’re about to get comfortable, feels strange and unnerving.

Dynamight slumps onto his couch, head tilted back and eyes scrunched closed. You stand there awkwardly, suddenly aware of how different his life is to yours.

His house is nice. Decorated like a magazine, tidier than you’d expect from a bachelor. His tv looks expensive and even the open kitchen you can see in your peripheral, is stocked top to bottom in gadgets you know cost more than anything you own.

“Stop gawking.” Dynamight’s voice, for the first time, startles you. “‘M not offering you tea.”

“I wasn’t— shut up!” You like bothering him, but this time you become defensive. “Why am I here?”

“Yeah?” Dynamight snorts, an eye winking open to look you over. “Why are you?”

It must be something psychological, to have you in his space for once. You like to spook him when he’s on missions, at stores you could only steal from, and even at the cafe by his agency he likes to frequent. But this is his home. His living room. This isn’t the no man’s land of public space. Where it’s easy for you to dominate, since he’s got a reputation (barely) and all sorts of hero rules to follow.

You straighten your back, pulling a usb out your pocket and throwing it at him, without force but in the direction of his head. “You wanted intel.”

“And you couldn’t have waited till the morning?” He scoffs, catching the thing before it hits his face. “Gone to the agency?”

“Unless you grant me full immunity.” You shrug, knowing he won’t.

“Fat chance.” Dynamight inspects the usb. “This not gonna brick up my entire computer?”

“I don’t know.” He looks at you like you’re stupid. “I just took it.”

Dynamight frowns, then pulls out a case from under his coffee table. You’re still standing there uncomfortably, so he rolls his eyes and prompts you to get close. You don’t like following his order, and you can tell he isn’t used to it either. Normally you’re the one openly pushing past his personal space, listening to nothing he says. You lean on the back of his sofa, peering over his shoulder.

The case opens to a laptop, one that uses his fingerprint to unlock. You watch curiously as he taps away at something you don’t understand, before pushing the usb in and lighting up the screen in new colours.

Dynamight becomes quiet, focussed as he sifts through files and documents you still don’t get. You had wanted to continue on your prodding and ask why he looked like such a misery tonight, but his intensity makes it difficult to interrupt.

“Fucking hell.” Dynamight sounds almost in awe. “Where the hell did you get this.”

“I just took it.” You’re petulant. “I said.

“[Name].” The hero’s body turns, and he stares with new authority. “Don’t piss me off.”

You feel small. Even with you standing over him, in his casual wear, a black top and some joggers, you’re reminded he’s a hero. One that lets you get away with a lot, but still a man of power you could never fight.

“Who rejected you?” You’re brattish. “You didn’t say.”

The non sequitur pisses him off, but he doesn’t want to have you running. “It wasn’t— Deku. I asked him to join my agency.”

That somehow makes you feel better. And equal. Like you’ve both just had terrible days.

“I saw him once. A friend, from when I was little, goes to UA.” You almost distract Dynamight with your reminiscing, but he catches it, frowning and prompting you to answer his original question.

“That guy you were tailing.” You remember a few months ago, recognising Dynamight in stealth gear, in a place where you hadn’t expected him to be. “The one with the red hair.” The descriptor makes something click in Dynamight’s head. His eyes go wide and wider with your next words. “He left a window open.” You shrug. “I snuck in.”

“Alone?” Dynamight wipes his head with his hands, frustrated. You think you’ve done something wrong. “Do you have any idea how—”

“I can take it back!” Interrupting him, you reach out to snatch the usb. You feel scolded and it stings.

He grabs your wrist before you can, you look at him with such sourness and he sighs. “Just… don’t do it again. Leave the hero work to me.”

You’re still pouting, embarrassed.

“You did good. Okay?” His hands give yours a squeeze. “You did really fucking good.” A part of you wants that, his approval, but you pull away anyways.

“I have to go.” You’re already walking backwards to his corridor. He follows you though he knows can’t keep you any longer, he’s never been able to pin you down.

You shove your shoes on haphazardly, not caring about creasing or scuffing. He has to unlock the door for you, but before he does he pulls his wallet out.

“How much?” There’s a few large notes in his hand. It’s jarring that he can walk around with so much cash in his pockets.

“Wait.” You stop him with your hands, shaking your head. “Can’t— not tonight— can’t have that much on me.”

Dynamight gives you a look, there’s pity in his eyes. He hesitates letting you go, shoving a 2000 yen note into your hands. “At least.”

The winter air hits you both when the door finally opens. It’s the kind that makes your muscles ache. You step out quickly, already making your way to the fence you hopped over to bother him in the first place.

Before you can lift yourself up, Bakugou calls out, voice uncomfortably gentle. “You got a place to sleep?”

“…No.”

Cut out of a second, there’s a moment where you think he’s wants to say something. But he doesn’t. Instead he just nods, letting you jump over his gate and run off. Back into the night.

Because in my head there’s an already established dynamic, I can’t tell if this whole thing only makes sense to me since I don’t need it to be expressed in the details… I did try to add contextualising details but idkkkk eughhhh

[moonlightobsessions]

Meowyuan scumcum au.

Shen yuan transmitigates as he does

Dumb fuck novel, of course he dies reading that piece of shit. But isnt death supposed to be nothingness? Why is he still thinking. Slowly opening his eyes hes surrounded by a forest filled with massive plants, he seemed to be in a small den between roots of one of these massive trees. He lies there contemplating what to do. Obviously he got isekaied but to where. He tried to get up and walk when he realized the problem. He was a cat, a kitten.

He doesn’t realize he is a spiritual beast, one sought after by cultivators to be companions. He does hate being a cat quickly, having to hunt and eat raw meat is not fun. Thankfully he stumbles across a village. There he meets two street kids, jiu and qi, and reasonably gets attached to them. Qi-ge feeds him and jiu-ge protects him.

Sadly the Qiu manor still happens. Shen yuan sees the last moments yue qi and shen jiu have before yue wi goes to join cang qiong. Yuan stays with jiu, hoping to help him escape but hes discovered by Qiu Jianlou and recognized as the rare and valuable beast he is. He’s captured to be sold to whatever cultivator passes by. Shen jiu helps him escape, and unknowingly to shen jiu, shen yuan bonds them due to his spiritual beast instincts. They wont see each other for many years.

Shen yuan looks back through the small hole in the wall, Jiu-ge pushing him to run. Reasonably he knows he should run, but he follows an instinct he never had before. He rubs his head against Shen jius hands, the small jewel in his forehead touching his skin. A small jolt of qi reach out. The qi cycles as he feels them connect and their qi becoming intertwined. He licks the hand one last time before he runs into the forest.

The manor burning and wan yanzu still happen. Though damage to shen jius cultivation base never become as bad from the demonic cultivation as the connection between the two rejected the demonic energies. Shen yuan runs around for a long time. He is searching for yue qi first, but got sidetracked a lot. Especially since he avoided most cultivators. Soon he have up on yue qi, years have past and finding a way into cang qiong as a beast is near impossible, if he was even there.

He felt exhausted and found a small area rich in qi to take a small nap. That small cat nap would last ten years, when he woke and headed to the village he heard whispers of the new qing generation of peak lords. He felt into the connection he had and decided to follow it, to reunite with shen jiu.

At this point many of the rumours around shen qingqiu had taken root, he ignored them too. Opting to focus on missions and his research. There had been many studies on spiritual beast companions but few on the one he was interested in. The Jeweled qi cat was extremely rare, as a kitten they form a bond forged with qi with a person or a place and rely on them for protection. They grow uniquely to the qi they absorb and many cultivators desire one for their bond that is said to prove a noble soul and improve cultivation.

He only realized he was bonded to the small kitten he saved when his shizun inspected his qi. Even if he knew that bond existed, he never could use it to find the cat. He only could venture out often to search. That bastard yue qingyuan never came and he wont do the same for xiao yuan.

When they reunite its in a large town. Shen yuan felt the bond resonate and ran towards shen jiu. Shen Qingqiu was on a mission to deal with a sighting of a moonscortched black viper when a tugging in his qi made him turn around.

Shen yuan had hardly grown, not having access to shen jiu’s qi. Still fluffy and small but with all his might he decided jumping right into shen jius arms. It was a sight to see as a peak lord was knocked to the ground by a kitten that looked no older then three months. Shen yuan refused to be put down, clinging to shen jius clothes.

Of course Cang Qiong was shocked when the notorious peak lord came back with the Jeweled Qi cat that refused to leave his arms (shen jiu tried but shen yuan would yowl everytime he was put down(shen yuan could not afford losing Jiu-ge)). Of course shen yuan realizes this is the scum villain and decides that cannon is for losers and shen qingqiu couldn’t have been that bad.

So here we get looks for the list of tropes i enjoy Shen jiu improved relations with his martial siblings, rumors proven false and people feel shame, shen yuan bullying shen jiu into a better person and teacher, qijiu reconciliation.

And during this shen yuan is DESPERATE to cultivate a human form. Shen Jiu is hiding all the books in places he cant get to after one too many books had pages torn (some literature DESERVES to be destroyed).

He finally succeeded! Human hands! Thankfully he was still in the bamboo house as he made his way on wombly legs to Jiu-ge’s room. He might have seen Jiu-ge putting on those complicated robes many times but he never put any on before (He was a modern man! No where near as many layers). Just putting on one robe seemed enough. And Jiu-ge had a mirror! Seeing himself was a shock. Honestly he didn’t know what to expect, would he look like his old self or someone completely different. Long white hair, his cat ears and split tail, jade green eyes match the jade where a huadian would be, his face looks eight parts his old self, one part feline with his fangs and eyes, and one part shen jiu, sharpening his features (did bonding with Jiu-ge influence it?).

Shen jiu does find shen yuan scandalously clad reading yellow books in his bed. This does awaken something in him. (Shen jiu does trick shen yuan into marriage before shen yuan realizes his own attraction)

[dear-ao3]

welcome back to the final slam dunk of f1 2024: the last triple header. vegas. qatar. abu dhabi. we have two world championships still up for grabs, as well as the eternal question of the red bull second seat and the last remaining vcarb seat. we’ve seen a lot this season already, but can it still get crazier?

this is a good question to keep in mind as we enter las vegas. round 22. can max verstappen secure his 4th world title here or will mclaren finally get their shit together? can ferrari snatch the constructors title away from mclaren? will williams have two cars that work? will lewis hamilton finish out his last three races at mercedes? or is everyone going to be sleep deprived and cold and forced to be second hand high at a track that smells aggressively like *checks notes* weed? 

fortunately, we’re about to find out. today is december 1, 2024 and strap yourselves in everyone as we enter the las vegas strip. because i can assure you that in this case, what happens in vegas will not stay in vegas. 

but before we can ge to vegas, we gotta get through the off week. or weeks. which were really, quite packed with a whole lot of shenanigans. 

like the brand spanking new gpda instagram. 

for those of you who need a refresher, the gpda is the grand prix drivers association, aka the f1 drivers union. george russell is the current director and all current drivers are members of the union (though you do not have to be a member to be an f1 driver)

why do a bunch of millionaires need a union? to negotiate safety terms and regulations because all of the regulations are decided by people who are Not Them and they raise issues to the fia and the higher ups regarding things theyre concerned about or things that they think need revamping. you know, because there is a pretty decent risk of death and/or serious injury in this sport that makes it slightly different than some other sports. 

in any case, they made a brand new instagram account. and followed all of the current drivers plus kimi antonelli, ollie bearman, sebastian vettel, and their two lawyers. apparently george does not follow the instagram. which some people thought meant that there was a coup happening in the gpda. but no, its probably because the account is linked through george’s own account and you cant follow your account. in any case they released this statement 

and look, yes it was definitely put through a legal writing team, but there is a high chance that george wrote the starts of it himself. 

this also convinced several people online that george was not a tory. id like to take this moment to point out that while we do not for sure know george’s political views, we can infer that he is likely not a tory because 1. his family are quite literally farmers 2. he wore a poppy pin in the paddock in brazil which is something that specifically really pisses off right wing brits (aparently) and 3. quite literally also runs the gpda, which is a union. and i personally don't know a whole lot about british politics so sorry if im butchering this here but i don't think that the tories are particularly pro union. 

also, george has been putting in the work with the gpda for years. in saudi arabia 2022 specifically, sebastian (who was the other gpda director at the time) was sick so george was the only director present and attended meetings with the fia and f1 and the drivers to assure their safety cause there was a non zero chance that the track could be a target for a missile. the meetings went incredibly late but he still made sure everyone was heard and then also presented all of that to the fia. hes also advocated for the cars to be raised to combat porpoising, questioned the flag and safety car process, and generally rightfully and respectfully has questioned f1 and the fia’s decision making. so this is really not his first rodeo and it likely wont be his last.

in any case, the gpda dropped their statement. and the racing world waited for a response. though it didn't seem like anything would come of it any time soon.

why? well as some of you may in fact know, the united states had a rather…..tumultuous election in the time between thee brazilian grand prix and the las vegas grand prix. in case you are somehow unaware, our previous president, the one that was between obama and biden, got reelected. if you do not know who was president between obama and biden i urge you to google it for yourself, i will not be getting political of that nature on this post. as you might remember, formula 1 has a Don't Get Political policy (which we know was stemmed from some stupid, definitely racist/homophobic means and plenty of the drivers don't really agree with it) which means that drivers are not allowed to make overly political statements or comments without expressed permission. so. it was rather interesting to see both danica patrick (the commentator who thinks that women should not be in motorsport despite herself being a woman who was in motorsport, and jenson button’s arch nemesis) and mohammed ben suliyam (the fia president) both expressing their excitement in the results of the united states presidential election. surely, these people should be held to the same standards as the drivers are as they are also heavily involved in the sport and also, to an extent, in the public facing side of f1? these two events right next to eachother really exemplified the awful duality of this sport.

but in the meantime, stake announced that zhou and valtteri would not be getting re signed with the team for 2025. which was something that we already kinda knew, but now was known for certain. 

and stake, unlike some other teams this year, announced it very respectfully in a way that honored both of the drivers and the time that they had been with the team. 

and ruth buscombe, the ex strategist at alpha romeo (which was stake’s previous name) posted this lovely comment about her time working with the two of them while she was with the team:  

“I was once told that drivers are like light bulbs you screw them in and out of a car and they aren't really part of the team so don't get attached. Over a decade later I can categorically say they couldn't have been more wrong. All of us, especially Strategists have our day to day lives, our careers and ultimately fate entwined with the two humans driving our cars. They trust us, they protect us, we trust them, we protect them: we are a team and they become more than colleagues, they become our friends. It was an honour and a privilege to call strategy for @valtteribottas and @zhouguanyu24 at Alfa. Thank you for every undercut, every overcut, every stay out, every box, every mistake you forgave, every team order you followed without questioning, every second of race time you cost Aston in that final race, every point you earned (or took away with a fastest lap or that count back position in Imola that ultimately counted for that P6). This is the end of an era but I know it's not the end of either of your tours. We never give up. As VB said in our first ever race briefing (and we were all shocked including VB at how profound it came out) Do not set a limit on what you can achieve."

so what are the two of them doing next year? well no one is quite sure. theres rumors circulating that zhou is going to sign with ferrari as a reserve driver and theres even heavier rumors circulating that valtteri has signed with mercedes as a reserve driver. though, im not sure how true those rumors are because i could not find that mercedes themselves have said anything about it. 

valtteri also has a seemingly never ending series going on his instagram entitled “what’s next?” and its a bunch of videos of him being asked what's next and then doing different things. he ended up releasing merch that says “what’s next” on it and a portion of the proceeds are going to a charity that helps people dealing with sudden job loss. which is definitely his own humor peeking though at his lack of contract for next year

in any case, with the two of them gone, did that mean stake finally announced their other driver?

yes they did. silly season isnt over yet folks. 

his name is gabriel bortoleto, hes a brazilian f2 driver and hes currently leading the f2 championship. so why haven’t you heard about him before?

well, there were a lot of people up for the stake seat. like everyone and also their mother and even their mother’s mother. 

so who is he? 

well. he’s managed by fernando alsono’s management company, is about to win f2 in his rookie year and also won f3 in his rookie year, he looks up to senna and max for their aggression as drivers. he was also a mclaren academy driver, but mclaren released him (meaning that they would not be trying to keep him as a driver or a reserve driver so that he could get a proper seat) . hes definitely not a nobody. and as to why stake signed him over franco, like many people were wondering, i have no idea. driver contracts are sticky and tricky. its possible that this has been being negotiated for awhile, or maybe williams didn't want to release franco from their program.

is that the end of the silly season rumors tho? 

oh buddy, you really thought. 

so as i mentioned, franco colapinto. as we know, he was just here for the back end of this season because williams already had previously confirmed their line up for next year prior to his arrival and that line up is, as we know, one alexander albon and one carlos sainz. 

and as we also know, james vowels has said that franco deserves a seat next year, at any team, doesnt care if franco is technically competing against him, which makes it sound like williams are willing to release franco from their driver development program. problem is, there is exactly one seat left (officially) and it is at vcarb. and red bull are their own completely separate basket case. 

and if you've really been paying attention you would know that red bull are currently involved in the eternal debate of Do We Keep Checo For Next Year. technically he does have a contract. but technically we all also know that this means nothing (as especially evidenced by yuki who said earlier this year that he didn't really even bother to read his new contract because he knows it kinda means nothing). 

so as a refresher. max has a contract at red bull through 2028. though he has hinted very unsubtly that hes going to see how the regulation changes go in 2026 and if he hates them he might dip. checo technically has a contract at red bull for 2025 (unsure if it extends beyond that), yuki has a contract at racing bulls for 2025 (again, unsure if it extends beyond that, and also i am on a train and google is not really working too well). liam lawson has a contract at racing bulls through the end of 2024 because he replaced daniel ricciardo. 

(also, quick interludular tangent on daniel, apparently it came out that he himself was the one who wanted to leave after singapore this year and also asked for the team not to announce anything until after the weekend had ended. this was because he had technically already had a big send off in abu dhabi at the end of 2022 at mclaren when he was sort of retiring and apparently didn't really see the point in doing the whole thing again and wanted to leave on his own terms: 

“Red Bull CEO Peter Bayer revealed Daniel Ricciardo requested his F1 exit not be disclosed during the Singapore Grand Prix, even after his Q1 elimination. Ricciardo, initially considered to replace Sergio Perez at Red Bull post-summer, formally exited after the Singapore race, with the news announced the following Friday despite being widely speculated. Bayer told Auto Motor und Sport, ‘We had agreed with Daniel that we would not communicate it. We knew we'd seem outdated as a team, but it was his wish. He believed he'd perform in qualifying and prove himself. I've never seen such mental strength in an athlete.’ Ricciardo's weekend unraveled with a Q1 exit at Marina Bay, which Bayer described as a ‘terrible moment.’ ‘You could hear on the radio his world had collapsed,’ Bayer said. ‘At 2 a.m. Saturday, we asked what to do next. He told us to let him race—he didn't want any nonsense.’ Bayer emphasized the team's support, saying, ‘If Daniel had stayed until Abu Dhabi, we'd have celebrated his farewell with fireworks and a grid photo, like [Kimi] Räikkönen. That's what everyone wanted.’”)

anyway, the running theory is that checo is not going to continue at red bull after this year, and is going to get replaced by Someone. who? well no one really knows. could be liam lawson. it doesnt seem like it would be yuki (even though by all accounts he is killing it this season) but now theres a new theory that it might be franco. 

remember that franco himself came out and said that he does not have a contract for next year at the end of the mexican gp. apparently though his team Has been talking to people and horner Has been seen in the williams hospitality (under the guise of trying the coffee from their new sponsor, lost the link for that particular anecdote youll just have to Trust Me). 

and Someone, and i really don't remember who it was, even posed recently that red bull should approach williams and say “hey, you happy with franco? if you want to keep him you should, give me sainz”

but, like everything else, this is all speculation. and we will likely not know anything until After the season has already finished. there is a meeting happening about the whole ordeal after abu dhabi (cause driver contracts are complicated, as we know) as confirmed by horner (though talks are definitely still going on)

so heres the situation as i can piece it together. 

checo has a Lot of sponsors that bring money to the team (as we know, hes a huge deal in mexico, he has a whole lot of sponsors), and these sponsors have already been told that hes staying for the start of 2025 (supposedly). so they are prepared to keep paying red bull money. but if red bull kick him, then theyre out all that sponsor money, meaning that whoever the next driver who comes in is would need to have at least vaguely comparable sponsorship. 

checo has said (or rather demanded) that if red bull cut ties with him for 2025, he wants 15.7 million pounds (roughly 20 million us dollars) to buy out his contract. 

and williams, supposedly, reportedly, will want Another 15.7 million pounds (20 million us dollars) for franco because red bull would want him full time and not on loan. franco is, as we know, a very new driver to f1. and he would aparently be getting thrown directly into red bull, not vcarb. as three time world champion max verstappen’s teammate. max verstappen who is winning the championship in a shit box presently, just knocked the collective socks off of the whole world at the brazilian gp, won all but three races last year and who has caused the regulations to be changed Because of him on multiple occasions. that max verstappen. franco has less than ten f1 races under his belt. 

and there is also the fact to consider that because franco is a relatively new driver, he does not have (probably) nearly as many sponsors as checo does. things like this are impossible to say because its all complicated and hush hush but its not hard to make the assumption that checo, who has been here for 14 years, has more sponsors worth more money than franco colapinto does.

franco’s manager apparently made a comment (which i am assuming was about the rumor ordeals of him having a seat next year) that was “listen carefully because i will only say this once. stop with your opinions, with your insults and stop telling us how to do our job…i need you all to shut up.”

there was another vague rumor circulating around that alpine want to replace jack doohan, who they have only just signed for 2025, with franco before he even makes it to the grid. this would not be the first time that alpine has had issues signing a driver (oscar piastri’s contract for 2023 anyone???) but even worse for the team. jack is set to be the first driver promoted to alpine f1 from their driver academy program in Years. (recently we had zhou get released to sign with sauber and then there was the oscar fiasco).

fortunately for everyone involved though, this turned out to just be a rumor, and jacks seat seems to be safe. how do we know this? alpine announced the number that jack is going to be racing under (7, because he has raced under it before and it was also kimi raikkonen’s number, who he looked up to)

mick though, who as we know is a mercedes reserve driver and also raced this year with alpine in the world endurance championship, posted this on his instagram, which was on a Plain Black Screen:

“Life doesn’t always go as planned, and setbacks can be tough to face. But every challenge is a chance to learn, grow, and come back even stronger. This is just a chapter, not the whole story. The journey continues, and I’m determined to rise above it. Thank you all for your support, it means the world.”

and there was some good speculation over what the hell it was about. some people speculated family, some speculated he broke up with his girlfriend, but even more thought that it might be related to silly season and his continued lack of a seat. he had yet to confirm anything with alpine wec either, so he might be out of a seat entirely. only time though would tell. 

but moving on from silly season. 

franco colapinto continued to be a pr menace and posted this on his instagram story. this of course being a photo of someone next to a card board cut out of him, holding it in less than pg ways, with the caption (translated from spanish) “stop groping me” (the picture was a screenshot from a video where a guy was pretending to give him head btw)

some days later, he posted this comment which says (again, translated from spanish) "tomorrow I have media training and this time is not a joke... y'all still have a few hours to save me" one can only wonder if the two incidents are related. 

in a rather un pr menace way though, he did speak about the importance of therapy during an event, advocating for its importance, especially for athletes.

another wild pr move of the week came from checo. i think that i have mentioned this before but checo’s father is a politician. and he made some comments during the off week that were rather homophobic. the comment was, apparently, about ralf schumacher (who as we know came out as gay earlier this year) and was "I don't know if he's a man or a woman.” now im not entirely sure if this is all that was said (i ripped this off of an instagram comment, don't sue me okay i have seventeen whole pages of links that need to get put into this update alone, i did not want to google one more) 

obviously, this is offensive. i should hope that you all don't need me to say that. 

here’s what checo said in response though: 

"First of all, I don't agree with any of his comments. I think he did a mistake in that regard. I don't share any of his views but at the same time I don't control what my father has to say, I can only control what I say.”

this is not exactly a surprise coming from checo, as we all remember that earlier this year he and max accepted an mtx couple goals award (while they were in mexico, though i think they had won it significantly earlier in the year) and max said, about them receiving the award: 

"i think checo always wanted to win this one, since checo joined the team, it’s not about winning races or championships. it’s this one!" as well as that them winning "was not unexpected" and that he and checo "made it"

checo’s thoughts were a bit more succinct, but the sentiment was clear: "dreams do come true"

and speaking of max getting shipped with people. as you may or may not have deduced by now, max often gets shipped with charles leclerc. people get a little crazy about it (i don't mean this is  a bad way, i admire all of you and i am very content watching from the side lines). theyre called lestappen. 

and well, as you might also remember, max has an e racing team called team red line that he streams with sometimes. and he streamed with them during the off week. 

well. one of the members of team red line, brought it up on stream. again i say, this was not a fan comment, this was one of the members bringing this up unprovoked. 

"I've just seen a clip of when chadwick was by himself, talking to the chat. He goes: Do you think lestappen is real guys?”

"It's fake- it's fake, what are you talking about?"

and then in the background, max himself started laughing.

the lestappen girlies about lost their minds for a whole week. very funny. 

(and before anyone brings up the ages old debate of people shouldn't read stuff about them, i offer you my ages old two cents: don't bring fandom shipping rpf etc stuff up to them unprovoked. but if they go looking for it themselves, well then that's on them.)

and this is unrelated, but rickard silken posted a lestappen edit.

charles seemed to be blissfully unaware of this moment, probably because he went to the gladiator 2 premier with his grilfriend alex. charles did his part as a diligent ferrari driver and wore a ferrari pin like he was a diplomat from a foreign country at a convention and proudly admitted on camera in an interview that he had only seen gladiator one a few days ago. he was described by someone on twitter commenting on the premier as “charles leclerc on way to Gladiator 2 premier in London.” 

also present at said premier was carlos and his girlfriend rebecca. carlos was also mentioned by the same user on twitter. but they called him “a sports man, i think heading to Gladiator 2 premier in London.”

lewis was also at the premier. he slayed harder than both of them combined because he is sit lewis hamilton.

charles also wore some ugly pants.

yuki tsunoda moved to milan recently and lives near pierre, who he is besties with from their time in alpha tauri as teammates. they went and did karaoke together in celebration. and they sang their adele song together.

we also had signs of life from both daniel ricciardo and logan sargeant. logan was doing indycar testing (and also slaying, he was at the top of the time sheets) and daniel was at a bills game. they seem to be really enjoying their post f1 glow ups.

dorianne pin, the mercedes f1 academy driver, was on the kimmel show, and she absolutely slayed. 

valtteri bottas is dressed as santa in finland on ads selling what appears to be some kind of alcohol

and formula one announced that all of the car liveries would be unveiled at the same time next year, for 2025, with all of the drivers in attendance, at the o2 area in a weird sort of concert like thing. and while this is obviously a terrible cash grab situation, it is inherently hilarious because like? clearly very few drivers will tolerate this (max as we know detestes weird pr) and like. idk. seems like it has the makings to be a hilarious shit show. which just about describes this sport in general. 

oscar piastri did some pr with dogs. which was cute. but that also seems to be mclarens default go to when one of their drivers is Not Doing Well (as we have seen with daniel). so hm. interesting choice there mclaren.

also interesting choice was This Statement that andrea stella made in regards to the potential of lando winning the WDC. (remember, he needs to score 21 points every weekend now to beat max and max can win in vegas) 

“In terms of the constructors’, it doesn’t change anything and that was always our priority. Even when there was a call to be made to support one driver over the other, it was always secondary to maximising the constructors’ championship. When it comes to the drivers’, for Lando there was never any particular pressure. To be honest, we were enjoying this quest. Sometimes from outside, it may come across like, 'Oh there was an error there', but I don’t think pressure was a significant factor at all. Now we must analyse the points – mathematically we are still in the championship. I think for Lando, for Oscar, we will go to the next races and try and win the races. The last two races should be good, for Vegas it might be more of a Ferrari track, we will see but all to play for and the constructors’ remains and has always been our priority.”

now this is insane and also wild and also begs the question that if this was never the priority then Why On Earth did they pull so many team rules and swaps on oscar? especially in brazil? does mclaren know what theyre doing? Like will buxton said at some point earlier this year, chances to win the world driver championship don’t just pop up every year. so this seems like it could be a half assed cover up by the team over the fact that now it’s Unlikely that lando is going to win (it was unlikely in the first place, but now it’s less likely)

also who remembers their whole “whatever it takes” rebranding from the beginning of the season? not to inflict my own opinion here but, lol.

but enough about mclaren. you might be wondering hey! what happened with the gpda post? did anything come of it???

well. maybe. 

in the time between when the gpda posted it and the start of the vegas race week, three people (well! at least i think it was three! theres been a lot happening and its been hard to keep track!) were fired/let go conveniently. these three confirmed people were: 

the race director

the liberty media ceo (they presently own f1)

and the compliance officer

which is kind of a lot of important higher ups. 

(note: there might have been other people, everyones titles are pretty similar sounding and there were people saying that the f1 ceo was stepping down but as far as i can tell he seems to be staying, more people might have left but i cant really find anything)

and people speculated that the gpda statement might have something to do with it.

and lastly. and perhaps most importantly, max has a new cat.

so now. every time we’ve been to the us so far this year, shenanigans have unfolded. in miami we had lando win his first race. in texas we had a lovely myriad of things including: 

oscar saying that “maybe we should adopt nascar rules and sort it out on track or in the pits, but…well actually no. some people have tried that got community service.”

franco saying about alpine and specifically esteban ocon: “the faster lap was taken by the french, why do they change tires bro? we need to save the planet”

max, upon being asked if he sympathizes with mclaren in a press conference: “no, i don’t. i mean they complain about a lot lately anyway. it’s very clear in the rules. outside the white lines you cannot pass.”

and also the liam lawson and fernando alonso beef: “he said he would screw me and i guess he kept his word.”

and this also gets compounded ontop of the shenanigans from the last time we were racing in vegas (last year) for the first time since i believe the 80s: 

first they had these very weird hunger games esque entrances that pretty much no one wanted to be a part of, then carlos hit a manhole cover in practice that wasn't secured well and ripped a hole in the bottom of his car nearly paralyzing him. this delayed the second practice session by approximately 6 hours and i think they ended up doing it at some ungodly hour like 4 in the morning, fans got kicked out way before then and max all but condoned them rioting about it. lando binned it into the wall at the beginning of the race in a pretty horrific accident, there were all kinds of problems with the tires not heating up and they initially thought that it might be too cold to race because the cars do not perform well in the cold. charles did a very giggly, very sleep deprived interview with max and then he also had the overtake of the year on the last lap, overtaking checo for second place and he only came two seconds behind max (which was insane considering max was winning races by upwards of 20 seconds that year). red bull had these elvis inspired race suits and max sang viva las vegas over the radio after he won. and instead of a cool down room there was a cool down rolls royce. which was checo aggressively third wheeling max and charles.

so. all of this to say. it was going to be a bonkers weekend for suresies. 

and that it was. 

we started strong with yuki getting held up at customs. despite the fact that he has raced in f1 twice this year already, customs held him up for several hours saying that he had the wrong visa. he was wearing pajamas and they did not believe that he was a formula 1 driver or allow him to call his team or his friends that he had traveled with. eventually he did get into the country, but it was still weird and also bad

this did not stop yuki from showing up to the paddock in an absolute slay of an outfit though.

and lewis, naturally, was also slaying

as was jenson button, the 2009 f1 world champion, current full time WEC driver, part time sky sports commentator, and (perhaps ex perhaps not) 365 party girl, who was in town to comment on the race.

max verstappen got a present for his cat from a fan, and he revealed that the cats name is donatello. but kellys daughter penelope calls him doughnut because its easier for her to say.

there was a statistic going around that pierre has not caused any damage himself to his car this entire season (a statistic that he would like to keep through the last three race weekends)

it was also cold in the paddock (at least by f1 standards, cause most of the places that they go are pretty warm and/or its during the summer) so to be in vegas in 50 F degree weather was positively freezing for them. and so the jackets got broken out. especially at mercedes, where george toto and kimi all showed up in matching puff jackets and there was a really hilarious photo of liam lawson sitting under a blanket and next to a heater in an interview that i seem to have lost the link to. and it was so cold that fernando alonso was wearing four separate layers, which is proudly showed off to everyone on a fan stage

it was revealed that carlos’s trainer, pierluigi, is going with him to williams next year. in case you are wondering, sometimes the trainers are contracted by the teams, sometimes theyre contracted by the drivers (meaning that they either work for the team entity or the driver entity and usually with the team entity theyre hired out via a company etc etc etc) which means that either carlos’s trainer is contracted through his own team 55 team and is by default going with carlos OR he was contracted by ferrari and bought out the contract or left to follow carlos. none of that matters, but its important to me that you know that. 

and one of the casinos did a shoey bar again, like they did last year, as a riff off of daniel ricciardo’s signature podium move despite the fact that daniel wasn't there this year. and by half way through the first day they were more than halfway sold out.

charles also got id’d at a casino

and carlos and charles did… well they did things. perhaps the sleep deprivation was getting to them because i don't quite know how else to explain this. they posted a be real of the two of them googling if carlos was the spanish version of the name charles (it is) 

and a fan posted a video of the behind the scenes of this video being like what the hell are these two doing

charles almost seductively fixed carlos’s hair

they also responded to some social media comments ? memes ? about the carlos sainz face card not declining and leo and their special edition stuff with the “desert effect” on it

and this now takes us into the race suits. because we had quite a few special liveries and suits for vegas. were they ugly? idk ill let you decide that one. 

first we had stake. they went for some green flames.

their car was also a slightly different green than the usual green to match the suit green. and it went the freshly entirely pink alpine (straight out of force india practically because bwt used to be their title sponsor and the car essentially looked exactly like that lol) 

and stake made, once again, a funny little meme about it

racing bulls also had a livery. and some race suits. and they looked a lot like sprite cans

and then we had ferrari. they were supposed to look like sand blasted race suits because desert is sandy. it. well. it didn't really look too much like that. it kinda looked like they accidentally put too much bleach in the wash or maybe walked through a cloud of flour. please remember that ferrari has their own fashion brand before you look at them. though, the video of carlos and charles explaining them was a true gem

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by PUMA Motorsport (@pumamotorsport)

and at least charles got to wear some fun shoes that said on them "leo is the best"

esteban ocon had a fun helmet, it was captain america (last year he had deadpool) and he was very excited about it. marvel even commented “on your left” on the post.

lando got asked about how thoughts on the car launch event. as one could have perhaps predicted, he was less than pleased about it: 

“if i get told to be there i guess i’ll be there. i might see where max is going on holiday and join him, we might end up having the same illness or something!”

sky sports had rainbow mics this weekend and it pissed of danica patrick visibly

lance stroll agreed with fernando alonso that “the less corners [on a track] the better”

george russell said that he was excited to have kimi as a teammate now that kimi would no longer be able to crash his car, though he thought it would be weird being the oldest on the team. when he asked how lewis does not have any gray hair yet (aparently george does) lewis said, as he has before “black don't crack”

and franco told a fan in a very sweet interaction that they would go far and be a much better driver than he is

he also said that ​​“We [williams] should take what’s left of the 2024 budget and bet it all on black in Vegas. If we win, we can cover the Brazil damages, no problem!”

i almost didn't want to waste space on this, but apparently christian horner gave some weird interview about how “accusations ruin mens lives” (cause remember earlier this year when he was accused of harassment in the workplace?) and he nabbed at toto for kicking him when he was down or something. and not to inflict my own opinion here, but good for toto. 

and remember when i told u all about how several higher ups were let go after the gpda released their statement? well. george was asked about this in the press conference and turns out. it was not connected. and not only that, but the fia never responded to the gpda in any regard and did not consult with the gpda before letting any of those people go or before hiring new ones.

here is a summary of what george had to say 

"We definitely weren't aware [of the race director leaving]. It was a bit of a surprise, I think, for everybody. It's a hell of a lot of pressure now onto the new race director. Just three races left [this season] … often as drivers, we probably feel like we're the last to find out this sort of information. And when it involves us kind of directly, it would be nice to be kept in the loop and just have an understanding of what decisions are being made.” [George then called for transparency because of the lack of communication between the fia and the gpda and said some drivers were unhappy with calls that had been made by the previous race director but] "sometimes just hiring and firing is not the solution. Let's see what this new era is going to bring, but every time there is a change, you have to take one step back before you make the two steps forwards.” [George was unsure how much confidence the drivers currently had in the fia leadership but said that it was clearly not] "the most stable of places" [due to the departures, and he insinuated that the fia and ben sulayem did not understand the feelings among the drivers especially when it was a challenge to get them to follow through on promises] "I think if we feel that we're being listened to and some of the changes that we are experiencing, requesting, are implemented … then maybe our confidence will increase. But yeah, I think there's a number of drivers who feel probably a bit fed up with the whole situation. And it only seems to be going in, to a degree, the wrong direction." "We all know what we want from the sport and the direction it's been heading and we probably feel that we want to do a small U-turn on a number of topics and just want to work together with the FIA on this. And that's just what we've felt has not been happening at all, at least directly from the President [sulayem]." (you can read more from george’s press conference answers here) 

lewis also backed up george, saying in an interview that

"If we don't get a response, I'm sure we'll chase them up. I know they've got a lot going on at the moment, but I think it's just to show that more than ever, the drivers are united, which is perhaps not something you've always seen in the past." he also advocated for closer and better working relationships between the fia and the drivers, saying "There are some things that need addressing, and FIA needs to be better at working and collaborating with us. We want the sport to continue to thrive and be better. We have zero to gain with the comments that we're making, in terms of things that can be better through the race weekends, and all we're asking is to communicate with us more and include us."

charles also said that is is surprised that the fia are making changes now with no explanation and max said that it is weird that they have to learn about fia related news (like the people getting let go/fired) from social media because no one from the fia is talking to them.

and btw losing the race director alone is a big deal. especially with a few races and two titles still to go. the race director makes a lot of decisions that directly affect the drivers and having to get a new one at the end of a tumultuous season cannot be easy.  

aside from that mess we also had another mess and that was lando commenting on mclaren’s statement about the drivers championship never being a priority.

first, he talked about the aftermath of brazil: 

"I deleted all of my social media so I didn't have any of that. I literally couldn't sleep for the first two days," he recalls. "So I did like, what, 36-40 hours straight. So that probably made everything worse. When you're tired, you're more moody, and that kind of thing. Like, it's a double effect. I was just sat at home alone. It probably would have been better if I had been with my friends. But they don't live in Monaco. They also have lives and are busy doing other things. And I'm a big overthinker, so like the whole flight home, the whole week, it just played over and over in my head. What could I have done differently? Why did I do that? Why did I not do this? You start thinking of all the scenarios that you kind of blame yourself for, why it's now not possible, that kind of thing. And yeah, because I overthink and I struggle with that kind of thing, that took a bigger toll in the days after. It wasn't an easy time."

now, this is not an unusual reaction for a driver to have upon losing the world championship (no matter how far away from winning it lando was), back in 2015 nico rosberg locked himself in his hotel room for hours after losing the championship to lewis hamilton in texas. he then locked the hell in and won the next several races consecutively. (i don't remember how many races it was, you can probably google that yourself if you're interested) and lando also has been open about his own mental health before, so this wasn't an unusual comment coming from him. 

he then said this though, also about the championship and what he has learned from this season: 

“For the first time, I'm confident to say that I have what I think I need to fight for a championship. Doesn't mean I'm complete, doesn't mean I'm perfect, that's for sure. And when you're competing against drivers who are close to that, like Max, you have to be close to perfect if you want to challenge him.”

and then came the chess analogies: 

"It's check and I'm all alone and Max has all of his pawns ready to attack me,” lando said in an interview, which he then followed up by saying that chess is not his strong suit as it that was not obvious from the analogy itself.  also we can infer that by pawns he mostly probably means charles and maybe ferrari (who are currently battling against mclaren for first in the constructors championship) and we all remember charles holding up lando for a hot while in brazil, (remember he and max were full teammating) so. could be onto something here. 

still, they asked carlos about lando’s comment, and he was woefully confused about it

and then lando said this about about max:

"Everybody thinks we are better mates than we are. I have other people who are my real friends. My true friends. He's a guy I get along with well off the track. That doesn't change. I am good at keeping things separate. If someone treats me like shit on track, it doesn't mean I will treat them like shit off the track. They are two different worlds."

and this:

"Maybe other drivers in the past were ready for such an occasion but no one has gone up against Max so early on in their career, halfway through the season, and put up a pretty reasonable fight.” 

(which is interesting because charles and max were fighting eachother back in 2019, when charles was at his first year at ferrari and only his second in formula 1, though i suppose that max was not a champion contender at that point)

now. max commented on the rules and regulations changing and whether or not he feels targeted because as we know a lot of the rules over the years have been changed For Max and also mclaren had been complaining about max breaking rules and racing too hard and here is what he said to bbc

"honestly, even if they would have done or did, first of all i don't care because i drive to what i think is possible and what is allowed in the rules. and if the rules are written like that, i will use the rules. if that would have happened to me the other way around, i don't think i would have been the person to complain so hard because i would just think, 'OK, if that's the rules, that's how we do it' instead of screaming that we need to change the rules.”

and this is funny because back in silverstone 2019, charles said this about racing max: 

"If we can race in that way, then I'm more than happy to race that way"

(meaning that, he didn't feel the need to change the rules around in order to race max and also win against him, unlike what is happening now)

this did not though stop mclaren from still being, well, mclaren. see they thought that red bullhead figured out that mclaren’s skid blocks were illegal and were going to report them to the fia. so mclaren instead decided to report themselves first. and low and behold, they were in fact illegal. and “The technical directive issued by the FIA required 7 teams to modify the arrangement of their fastening screws on the floor plate under the car.” and in addition to mclaren, Red Bull, Ferrari, Mercedes, Aston Martin, Haas, Sauber & Alpine all had to change theirs as well. 

hilariously, red bull knew nothing about the skid blocks.

that did not stop charles though for calling out mclaren’s under dog qualities.  

"McLaren has often said this (drivers saying Ferrari are favourite), it's not the first time they say maybe that Red Bull will be the favourite and then in the end they are the fastest."

and speaking of charles. he and max were back at it again, not even remotely dodging the lestappen rumors. first ferrari and red bull were sharing the fan stage together, which doesnt ever really happen, usually it is a top team with a mid field team, but for some insane reason they decided to put ferrari and red bull together and absolutely no one was mad about it. except for maybe max whos mic died and he got bonked in the nose by carlos’s mic while carlos was letting max speak into it. 

and max and charles, as they do, continued to stare at eachother throughout the fan stage as they yapped.

and Charles signed an inchident shirt and announced himself that max should also sign it

and the red bull racing admin on instagram threads also continued to ship lestappen openly. and even called out the ferrari admin for calling charles yapping charle-splaining instead of leclerc-ifying

and, sky sports made lewis hamilton watch a bunch of old videos of him and nico rosberg fighting for the title from 2014, racing clips and just clips of them in general. and on not one but two screens. and as we know, lewis rarely ever speaks about nico, so this was interesting.

what was also interesting is that he lied about their relationship. seemingly. 

now, usual disclaimers here, i don't know these guys, and objectively they only know what happened. (again, i don't think either of them owe the other anything, whatever happened happened and we will never know what happened) and i can only report the findings of the internet. and the internet had a lot to say.

lewis says that he and nico lost touch and werent in contact from after they were karting teammates (i think around 13/14 years old) to when they were teammates at mercedes (when they were 28)

and. well. the internet had some qualms with that. including but not limited to: 

they went on vacation together several times in that gap, and one of those times nico taught lewis how to snowboard 

and theres footage of them partying together when they were teens

they also definitely talked in the paddock when they were both in f1. and we all remember nicos first podium with lewis. lewis and jenson also once sang nico happy birthday during the drivers parade. 

and like, it might be true that they might not have been Best Friends during that time. but they definitely knew eachother. 

oh, and nico was also in vegas that weekend. for the race.

ah, love a good couple of guys being unreliable narrators about their weird and slightly homoerotic friendship that exploded in a drivers title fight in front of the whole world. pure poetry, am i right??? 

so there was a lot that happened. clearly. 

am i missing something? i feel like i am missing something here. 

oh right.

all that and the entire paddock smelled like weed. 

yes. weed. 

“what is very noticeable around the circuit is the smell of marijuana,” checo said.

“there was a smell of marijuana,” franco added. “if they dope test the drivers now, i think we’ll all be positive.”

and so with all that. the practice sessions. 

i didn't watch all of them, only the third one, but there was plenty of chaos there. 

first, valtteri bottas already has a five place grid penalty for a power unit change. 

and lewis showed up wearing a complete glitter fit and also slaying 

oscar couldn't get his mclaren to turn off

and alex’s williams caused a red flag almost instantly, in true williams fashion

and the return of the vegas gp, with its weird night schedule that is conducive for effectively no one least of all the drivers (seriously the race Starts at 10pm Local Time. that means drivers are going to bed around 5am to prepare for late nights, not to mention that that is 1am eastern time and 6am uk time) meant that we had the return of Weird Sleep Deprived Commentary from our lovely commentators

such as crofty saying multiple times that the only place that the race time is conducive for is guam time,fiercely debating whether or not the plural of elvis is elvises or elvi, also something about the phases of the moon

and, unbelievably, karun tried to explain how tire graining works using the metaphor of grating cheese. no i am not kidding. this happened. and you might think this is a normal metaphor to make and it is but then it got weird: 

“if the tire is too cold, it starts to shred and it peels,” karun said. 

“like soft cheese?” jenson button, the 2009 f1 world champion asked.

“almost like you get a grater on the top of a cheddar,” karun agreed

“like a medium soft cheese,” jenson amended

“room temperature cheddar,” karun probably nodded.

they also talked about andretti. you remember andretti, who wanted to start an 11th formula 1 team but was denied? well hes back now, partnering with cadillac and also general motors as they pitch a new, cadillac racing team. apparently it is supposed to be announced very soon if they are in, but they would be an american team.

and jenson, who was in the box for practice,  had some insight on them. starting with the color. 

crofty said that they should paint the cadillac car pink cause of the springsteen song. 

and jenson said, “they did paint one of their hyper cars pink [in wec], and im actually a cadillac driver next year.” which is true. it was recently announced that he was moving from team jota to team cadillac for 2025 (cause jenson does in fact still race cars)

still, crofty and karun saw a great opportunity to make fun of him.

“are you [back] in formula 1?” crofty asked, excited that jenson might finally get to serve his three place grid penalty

jenson just laughed

“now this is a scoop!” karun continued. “jenson button returns!”

“no,” jenson corrected, still laughing. “in world endurance championship.” 

“this is a night of exclusives,” crofty said, ignoring him.

jenson also told everyone that he had seen boys II men down in the williams garage the day before and went to go say hi. he sounded very excited about the whole thing.

crofty though was in disbelief. “you went up to boys II men for a selfie?” 

“yes!” jenson said, incredulously. “they were my youth!”

there was a fantastic photo of jenson serving cunt in a green velvet suit standing next to boys II men, but i cannot find it for the life of me

george called the sauber a “green thing” and then the following day said, about the sauber “same bloke again, two days in a row” about a minor incident. and lance’s car lost all power at the end of the session.

but perhaps most interestingly. we had problems down at red bull. 

problems like, they had the wrong rear wing. 

or at least, that was according to one helmut marko, and we know how reliable he is. in any case, he claimed they had the wrong one and couldn't overnight a new one from england. 

basically though, the wing was too steep, meaning that they were losing about 6 tenths per second on the straights (which was bad. because vegas is mostly straights. and remember. max can win the damn world championship this weekend pretty much as long as he finishes ahead of lando and in the points). so what did red bull do? well they busted out the angle grinder and diy’d their own rear wing.

max was appropriately pissed about the whole thing

but in a later interview he explained a little better than helmut what was going on:

“if you're missing between three and seven tenths everywhere in the sectors then of course something is wrong. its not just a bit of balance here or there, its not just the right tire grip. then of course you can't push and nothing works out. and then of course our rear wing is of course, we just have a bit too much drag. we havent got a smaller wing. we don't have it. so over one lap that makes it even trickier because we had to saw off a lot of the drs flap and of course you have less drs effect. the problem is of course we’ve only got one more season with these regulations. and when you have to develop a whole new wing that costs money of course. its a bit of a difficult issue.”

he was then asked if the stories that they had brought the wrong were incorrect. and he said “yeah, well if you believe that then you're a pancake.”

during practice three, when they were still trying to sort out the wing problems, he had a few concerning radios, including: 

“its only getting worse, the car is undriveable” and “this is…i cant drive it. im going to crash. my left front is completely fucked.” but they did seem to fic it by the end of the session, or at least make the car driveable because max ended 5th fastest and said that the car was miles better to drive grip wise.

red bull might have been suffering to high hell. but a team that was Not suffering to high hell (for once) was mercedes. in fact, lewis and george were both so quick that they themselves had absolutely no idea Why (though they speculated that it was because of the cold) 

"Incredible day. Love to tell you why. To be honest, we're scratching our heads a little bit, why it was so positive,” george said after fp2

“that's the first time that I've actually had a day like that I think this year,” lewis said. “The car was feeling really good in fP1. fP2, less so, so got some work to do overnight, but… Difficult to know exactly where we are or why we are where we are, but really enjoying driving the track. And I think, yeah, we'll see whether the car is still the same tomorrow."

so weve got two mercedes rocketships, a diy red bull, a championship on the line, a track that smells like weed and a race only suitable for guam. 

qualifying, anyone? 

well everyone was ready except for lance stroll, whos car was in several million pieces as they tried to sort out his power issue from practice. they managed to get it fixed and he did get to do one flying lap, but still went out in q1. 

also out in q1 was checo perez. and as he got out, there was a graphic of him shown on the sphere giving a thumbs down, which was really just. it was really something.

this is the pinnacle of motorsport.

even worse for checo now tho was his qualifying stats for the season. he now had 8 q3 exits this year. max has had 5 in the last 8 years. hes also been responsible for 50% of their q1 eliminations as a team, despite only being with the team since 2021.

in q2 franco became the first driver to find the wall and crash into it. which was devastating news for williams because they had only just managed to scrape enough parts together to go to vegas and had had to fix francos car twice already in brazil. the mechanics were not pleased. 

and the crash was big, 50G. he was cleared medically and sent to the hotel to rest, but would need to be cleared to race in the morning, if he had a car to race. 

once everything was repaired, we got to q3 which was surprising for two reasons. first, lewis made his first mistakes of the weekend and came tenth. second, pierre qualified third. in his alpine. coming off the back of the double podium weekend. it was his first time ever qualifying top 3.

the alpine admin was beside themself.

george was on pole. he was very excited. but he was also sleep deprived as he accidentally said during his interview that he was betting on ferrari. and he received his pole position award from a man who cooks shirtless on tik tok.

carlos was in second, he was also happy because he got to keep his p2 this year, unlike last year “because of the famous drain cover” (he got a 10 place grid penalty for changing the power unit after the crash)

and starting 4 5 and 6 were charles, max and lando. which would be interesting to say the least. 

max though did defend franco after his crash, saying "the experts... should keep their mouths shut. Even if I were to drive a road car on the limit on this circuit, it's not easy either. let them do it. Being in front of the camera is often a sign that they can't do it themselves, or that they can't do it anymore.”  

speaking of max, remember, the only way that max doesnt win the championship this weekend is if lando scores 3 or more points than him.

the track, btw, still smelled like weed. max said he felt high in his car and charles looked high in his interview.

 mick though, over in the merc garage, didn't manage to look high, just miserable.

and so. what we’ve all been waiting for. the race. self described as james hinchcliffe as having “cold temperatures, [a] dirty race track, low downforce configurations and walls everywhere.” 

and unfortunately for all of you, you will have to find out what happened in the race in part 2 of las vegas because tumblr hates this post and would not let me put it all on the same update, no matter how hard i tried :/

so. i will be back soon :) stay intrigued everyone!

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Scuderia Ferrari HP (@scuderiaferrari)

then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mahir (@f1trollguy)

but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖦𝗈𝗈𝖽. 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖶𝖺𝗒𝗌. (@f1foryou1)

-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[luvismenu]

chap: 11 — don't wanna be too much ✎ ,, index

“so why do you wanna hang out with me?”

you glance up at the man sitting across from you, his raised brow suggesting curiosity rather than suspicion. he takes a sip of his coffee, waiting for your answer.

“huh?” you say, caught slightly off guard. “oh. well…” you trail off, scrambling for a reason that doesn’t sound too rehearsed. “you seemed cool to talk to.”

his brow furrows briefly before his expression shifts into something resembling surprise. “really?”

you nod, taking a sip of your coffee to avoid his gaze.

“didn’t you call me annoying in our first year?” he asks, his tone light, but his words make you freeze midsip.

the liquid burns your tongue, and you flinch, coughing slightly as you put your cup back on the table. “that was ages ago,” you say, trying to wave it off with a smile.

he leans back in his chair, one corner of his mouth lifting in amusement. “yeah?”

“you’re not annoying, jason,” you say quickly, your tone earnest as you meet his gaze.

his brows relax, and the surprise fades into something closer to amusement. “okay,” he says simply, his lips quirking up into a small smile.

he believes you.

thank fuck.

it’s not like you actually want to hang out with jason.

the day after jungkook ended things—well, not officially, but enough to leave you enraged—you decided to go find him. you thought maybe you’d apologize for overreacting. you didn’t want to admit it, but maybe you’d let your emotionls get the better of you.

you wanted to tell him that; you don't wanna be too much.

but as you made your way to his class, rehearsing what you might say, you saw her. a woman you’d never seen before, standing close to jungkook. too close.

your steps faltered, and your stomach twisted as you watched her lean into him, laughing at something he said. you couldn’t hear their conversation, but you didn’t need to. the way he smiled at her.

it told you everything.

anger bubbled up inside you, sharp and overwhelming. you wanted to walk up to her and pull her away from him, demand to know who she was and why she thought she could be that close to him.

but then you caught the way he looked at her, like she was the only person in the room, and that anger quickly turned to something else.

something heavier.

he’s moving on, you thought bitterly.

he’s really fucking moving on.

you knew you were a bad communicator. you’d accepted that a long time ago. but deep down, you thought—no, you hoped—that he’d wait. at least for a little while.

he didn’t.

it's okay.

it's fine. whatever.

if he could move on that fast, so could you.

and that’s how you ended up here, sitting across from jason, pretending to care about what he’s saying and convincing yourself that this will even the score.

jungkook is stressed.

why are you so against talking about what’s going on? he wonders, running a hand through his hair.

all he wanted was to clear the air, to talk about how things between you both don’t feel “casual” anymore. you’ve noticed it too. he knows you have. but every time he tries to bring it up, you shut him down, insisting everything’s fine.

it’s not fine.

it's not fine at all.

and now you’re walking around with some new guy?

who the fuck is he?

he's never seen this guy before and honestly, he wants to beat the shit out of him.

over the last few days, he’s seen you laughing and smiling with this stranger, and it burns him up inside. every time he’s tried to approach you, you’ve brushed him off, your indifference leaving him more frustrated than ever.

and so he decided;

if this is how it’s going to be, i am not backing down either.

that’s how he ended up here, walking into the café with mia by his side. truthfully, he doesn’t know her well. she approached him a few days ago for help with some classwork, and he didn’t think much of it. it wasn’t like him to turn people away; besides, it seemed harmless.

but now?

now it feels like the perfect opportunity to play along wih whatever game you’re starting.

“jungkook, can you get me something sweet to drink, like you?” mia’s voice is sugary as she leans closer, whispering the last two words on purpose.

jungkook forces a polite smile. mentally, he sighs.

this is too much, he thinks.

mia’s is not someone he would date, not even close. if things were normal between you and him, he wouldn’t have given this moment a second thought. but they aren’t normal, and he’s had enough of feeling like he’s the only one who cares.

if this makes you feel something and makes you want to talk to him, so be it.

just as he’s about to respond to mia, he catches sight of you in the corner of the café.

you’re with him.

that fucking guy with that stupid fucking grin.

you’re sitting there, coffee in hand, looking right at him.

his jaw tightens as your eyes meet, and for a brief moment, it feels like the rest of the room fades away.

then you glance at mia.

jungkook sees the subtle shift in your expression,, the slight frown, the way your lips press together, his eyes catching the way your fingers tighten slightly around your coffee cup, your jaw clenched as you stare. his chest tightens, but he raises a brow at you instead, daring you to react.

you roll your eyes, turning your attention back to your coffee.

he scoffs under his breath.

so stubborn.

“of course,” he says, turning back to mia with a bright, deliberate smile. “something sweet for someone sweet.”

mia giggles and nods, oblivious to the silent tension crackling between you and him across the room.

what the fuck is he doing?

is he seriously with that woman right now?

in the same room as you?

you can see him talking to her, leaning in slightly, his expression relaxed like he doesn’t have a care in the world. and the way she’s giggling at whatever he’s saying? it’s really irritating you.

your hand tightens around your coffee cup, and for a split second, you imagine marching over there and giving her a piece of your mind. or worse.

maybe that’s an overreaction.

maybe not.

but it’s exactly how you feel right now.

“is everything okay?” jason’s voice pulls you back to reality.

you blink, turning to look at him. his brows are furrowed slightly, concern etched into his features as he glances between you and the direction of jungkook and mia.

“yeah, yep, everything’s fine,” you say quickly, forcing a smile that you hope looks convincing.

“you sure?” he presses, his tone soft but skeptical.

you nod, taking a sip of your coffee even though it doesn’t do much to settle the storm inside you.

but when you glance back toward jungkook, you catch his eyes on you.

he’s watching.

you notice the way his jaw clenches, his fingers tapping lightly against the table as if he’s holding himself back. a small frown forms on his face, the kind that could almost be missed if you weren’t paying attention. but you are.

your pulse quickens, the tension in the air wrapping itself tightly around you. still, you refuse to look away.

instead, you smile.

just slightly, a curve of your lips that is meant to get under his skin and turn your attention back to jason.

“so, what were you saying about your project?” you ask, your tone deliberately light, pretending not to notice the way jungkook’s gaze burns into you.

jason raises a brow, clearly sensing the sudden shift in your focus but continues, “oh, right. i was saying it’s been tricky, but i think i’ve figured out a solution.”

you nod, leaning in just a bit closer to him, giving him your full attention, or at least the appearance of it.

from the corner of your eye, you see jungkook shift in his seat, his expression darkening as mia says something to him. he doesn’t respond right away, his gaze flickering back to you and jason.

good. let him stew in it.

you’r not even sure why you care so much, but the sight of him with her acting so casual had set something off inside you. and now, you weren’t about to let him have the upper hand.

jungkook sees you, sitting across from that guy, listening intently to whatever he’s saying, a soft smile playing on your lips. his jaw tightens, and his fist clenches slightly against the table.

he hates this.

hates how easily you seem to have moved on, hates how that guy can make you smile like that, as if nothing between you and jungkook had ever mattered.

are you really going to act this way instead of talking to me? he thinks.

“oh! is it all over my face?” mia’s voice pulls him back, her tone overly sweet as she gestures to the bit of cream on her lips.

jungkook glances at her, clearly unimpressed. she could easily wipe it off herself, but it’s obvious she wants him to do it.

he mentally rolls his eyes, annoyed by her theatrics, but then his gaze shifts, catching you glancing in his direction.

without thinking, he reaches out and wipes the cream from mia’s lip, forcing a small smile.

“there,” he says, his voice neutral.

mia giggles, looking at him through her lashes as if he’s just done the most romantic thing in the world. jungkook barely notices her reaction; his eyes are already flicking back to you.

he sees the way your expression hardens just slightly, your shoulders stiffening before you quickly turn back to the guy in front of you.

his chest tightens, and he has to fight the urge to get up, to pull you away and demand to know why this all feels so messed up.

instead, he stays where he is, his hand dropping back to his lap as he forces himself to focus on mia. but the irritation bubbling inside him doesn’t go away.

because right now, he doesn’t know what else to do. he’s tired of second guessing every glance, every word, every interaction. if seeing him with mia stirs something in you, then maybe it’ll push you to say what’s been left unsaid.

he steals another glance in your direction.

you're frowning.

good.

let it bother you.

because watching you with that guy; laughing at his jokes, leaning just a little too close, makes something ugly twist in his chest.

is this jealousy? he wonders.

are you feeling the same way he is?

he doesn't know. but if this is what it takes to finally make you break the silence, then fine. he’s willing to play along.

but the truth? the truth is that he’d drop this entire charade if you’d just look at him the way you used to. if you’d just talk to him, even for a moment, and stop pretending like everything between you two hasn’t changed.

he exhales sharply, forcing himself to focus on mia’s chatter as he heads to the counter. but his mind is elsewhere.

on you.

you're on his mind a lot.

it’s frustrating, really. no matter how much he tries to distract himself, whether it’s with mia’s empty conversations or the endless tasks piling up, his thoughts always circle back to you.

he wonders what you’re thinking right now. if you’re still smiling at whatever that guy said, if you’re still glancing his way when you think he’s not looking.

he wishes he was in your mind too, even just a little.

but the way you’ve been avoiding him, the way you seem so at ease with someone else, makes him doubt it.

and that doubt? it’s what drives him crazy.

on the other side, watching jungkook with that woman. watching him talk to her and make her laugh like that?

it drives you crazy.

a/n: wow 4 owiu updates this week, isn't that crazy? (i am sleep deprived) and also yay we're halfway through the series aaaaa!!! this chapter was a last minute thing lol i didn't wanna write but here we are (also, i am hoping to finish owiu asap hehe)

📜 series taglist: @deepikhaprakash @rjooniesdimples @wombatkitten127 @hoseokteardrop

📜 permanent taglist: @lovieku @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @onlyforyoukook @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @genevieveeeee @kookoo-kachoo @junecat18 @iheartchanelle

@kyuupii @https-mei @internetrando64 @jkvias @134340-kr @mar-lo-pap @fluttershypoo @elinaki92 @jungkookmyoneandonlybaby @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jaykay-world @jmscaffeine @libra04 @beigerin @nikidream24 @svnbangtansworld @mimi1097

[samandcolbyownme]

how about sam x reader fluffy shit where reader is being targeted on an investigation (kinda like kris at the crescent hotel) and he's super protective over her. bro WILL fight a ghost

Warnings: spooky themes, ghost hunting, reader being targeted by the spirits, Sam being protecting, swearing, being scared, mentions of feeling sick, talk of cancer, mentions of death, haunted hotel, spooky fluff

Word Count: 12.1K | unedited

DISCLAIMER: I will be changing things to fit reader into the video, so I’ll be adding/ taking some stuff away. It will also just be Sam, Colby, and reader in this fanfic. Enjoy!

─── ※ · 𝕏 ℙ 𝕃 ℝ · ※ ───

“Y/n, how are you feeling?” Sam looks back at you with the camera in his hand, “Are you ready for this?”

“I am super into ghost stuff, so I’m excited about this, but I’m also super, super terrified.” You laugh and Sam smirks, looking back at the camera that’s facing you, him, and Colby, “Good, because this is one of the most haunted hotels in all of America.”

You look at Colby with wide eyes and he does the same to you, causing you both to laugh as Sam continues, “We’ve been wanting to come here for years.”

Colby nods, “This place has a lot of messed up history.”

“With that, why don’t we go on inside and come face to face with what we’ll be working with tonight, yeah?” Sam nods and you and Colby follow him into the hotel.

“Oh my gosh.” You leave them to walk over and crouch down infront of a couch that is holding a cat, “Look at you!”

You reach out and scratch under its chin, “You are so cute!”

“Is this the cat manager, Morris?” Colby asks as he gently drags his hand over the cat. Sam nods, “This could be Morris the new cat manager.”

You look up, “Are we looking at a ghost right now?”

Sam and Colby laugh and Colby shrugs, “Could be. When this hotel was first started, they had a general manager, which was the cat.”

“Wasn’t it an orange tabby cat?” You ask, still giving the cat in front of you attention, and Colby nods, “Yeah, it was a little orange tabby cat.”

“They made a cat the general manager?” Sam asks as he laughs, “Oh my god.”

“Yeah! They made the cat the general manager, and when it passed away there was like three hundred people who showed up to its.. death ceremony?” Colby tilts his head and points, “Funeral. I mean.”

You laugh and look at Colby, “I like death ceremony way better.”

“Yeah it’s way cooler.” Sam agrees and you finally stand up, pointing to the cat, “If I need more pillows, you’re who I’m calling.” You give him a wink as you click your tongue and Sam and Colby laugh.

You make your way to the steps and follow Sam up as he pans the camera around, “Oooh my god.”

“This is so siiick!” Colby looks around as he walks up and Sam shakes his head, “This just screams haunted, anything with a spiral stair case like this just give off that vibe.”

“I can one hundred percent agree to that.” You laugh, “they just give me a weird vibe.”

You walk up onto the floor and Sam is slightly freaking out about the lay out. You look around and sigh, “I’m sorry, I have to say this. It’s giving, the shining vibes, like two little girls are just going to stand at the end of the hallway or something.”

“It is!” Colby laughs, “Like a little kid is going to speed around the corner or a tricycle. Oh hell no! Why did I say that!?”

“Oh my god. We’re just.. asking for shit to happen.” Sam laughs as he hands Colby the camera, “Okay. So this.. is what you need to open..” he pulls a key from his pocket, “A fuckin’ old school key.”

“Oh my god, that’s actually so cool, look at that thing!” You walk up and look at the key is Sam’s grasp, “Holy fuck.”

“This is for room 202.” Sam says as he hands you the key. You take it, “What happens in this room?”

“There’s usually a person who stands at the end of the bed and stares at you sleeping.” Sam explains and your eyes go wide, “Oh fuck.”

“He screams nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!” Colby adds, immediately causing laughter to erupt with his words.

“Are you serious?” You ask in between laughs, and Colby shakes his head as he shrugs, “I don’t think so.”

Sam shakes his head, “Room 202 is said to be one of the most haunted rooms in the entire hotel. A lot of people see a waiter, coming in and out with trays during the night.”

“Trays.. of what?” Colby asks as he furrows his brows and Sam stares at him with a blank expression, “Butter.”

Colby looks at him and you stifle back your laughter as Colby sighs, “okay.. the other legend about the room is that there’s a lady that appears at the foot of the bed, dressed in a Victorian outfit that will just watch you sleep.”

Sam cringes, “oh god.”

“We’re gonna be okay tonight.” You say in a higher pitched voice, “everything is going to be just.. fine.”

“It’s going to be okay.” Colby adds in and Sam shakes his head as his face changes to a scared expression, “It’s not going to be okay, actually. Not at all.”

You move down the hall to the door and you walk up with the key. Sam walk up with you and he leans in to point, “So you open the door over there but then you open the door..” he point to the knob in the center of the door, “From the middle.”

“Whoa, okay. That’s kinda weird, but I like it.” You laugh slightly as you lean in to put your ear up to the door as Sam uses the door knocker to knock.

He leans in, his eyes on yours as he does the same thing as you, “I hear laughing.” He whispers as he points behind him and you stand up laughing, “I think that’s a ghost behind us.”

“Yeah, definitely a ghost.” Colby whispers and you lean back into the door, “Hold on..” you blink and look around as you listen, “No I really do think I hear something. Listen to that.”

You stand up and Sam moves to press his ear to where yours was.

Colby puts the camera real close to Sam’s face and he hits the metal door knocker which causes him to jump back, “Whoa!” Sam laughs, “You know what, this is your room.”

“No, no. I’m good.” Colby argues back and you roll your eyes, “I’ll opened it.” You laugh as you walk up to the door and you open it, gasping as it opens, “Oh shit.”

You peak in, “Oh. It’s actually really nice.” You look back at Sam and Colby and Colby laughs, “Aww!”

They follow you in and Sam groans, “Colby, you got a dang suite, what the hell!?”

You stand at the end of the bed, “So, what? Hes just going to stand here and he’s going to be like, nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!”

Colby laughs, repeating nightmare a few times.

Sam laughs, walking up, “I don’t know about the nightmare part, but yeah.”

Colby walks over to the window, “Dude! It looks like a freaking horror movie outside!”

“No it does! It’s so insane!” You walk over and look out of the window, “You guys picked the absolute best time to do this.”

Sam looks at you, “is that.. sarcasm.. or?”

“Yeah.” You click your tongue and nod and he laughs, “Alright. Sweet.” He shakes his head and you smile at him and Colby walks over, “There’s like a mist out there, what the fuck.”

Sam opens the door to the balcony and you follow him out, “Look at this.” You grab the railing, “This is such a small railing, like..” you look over the edge, “You could easily just toss yourself over.”

Sam looks at you, “Don’t.. say that.” He laughs nervously, moving over to grip your waist and pulling you back, “Don’t give the ghosts any ideas, please.”

You laugh and step back, standing next to him and Colby points, “Look there’s the hot tub, if you can get through one of these little squares, you got it.”

“And what, land in two feet of water?” He tilts his head, pretending to die, “Bleck.”

“I’m gonna do it. For five bucks. I’ll do it.” You laugh as you walk over to look down at the hot tub, and Sam shakes his head, “No, no. There’s- let’s go back inside.”

He grabs your arm, all of you laughing as he leads you back in from the balcony.

He walks over to the door, “How do you..” he stop trying to open the door and gives you and Colby a defeated look, “I think we’re locked in.”

“Are you serious?” Colby asks, concern in his words and you break the tension by telling, “Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!”

You all laugh and then Sam goes back to trying the door, “Oh thank fuck.” He pulls the door open and you all walk out.

Colby hands Sam the camera before talking, “So the Crescent Hotel, a building that’s literally been around since 1886. It was a hotel for a majority of the past but it was also a all women’s college..” he tilts his head, “..which is interesting, because there’s actually a story of a student who asked for a ouija board because she felt weird vibes here.”

“I get weird vibes but you ain’t seeing me ask for one of those. Uh huh, no way. No thank you.” You laugh slightly, looking around, “I don’t mess with them.”

“Yeah, no. I don’t think we’ll need one of them.” Sam laughs slightly as he hands the camera back to Colby, “So even before this main story we’re about to talk about, people were already thinking it’s haunted for a hundred years .”

“Just by looking at it, you can tell.” You add in and Sam nods, “no literally, as we were driving up I was like holy fuck, look at this place.” He shakes his head as he takes the camera back from Colby.

“And then.” Colby starts with a scoff, “It all went to shit, when a man named Norman Baker, a con man, in nineteen thirty seven, turned this place into a hospital.”

“Didn’t he trick hundreds of people with saying he could cure cancer or whatever?” You ask and Colby nods.

“Yeah, and then..” Sam starts, handing the camera off, “after the Great Depression, this town was hurting, pretty bad. But, Norman Baker came to town as one of the wealthiest people to hit the town, and he completely reinvented the place.”

“Which, I’m guessing that was good for the town and it made the townspeople overlook the fact that he had not the best intentions?” You tilt your head as you look at Sam and he smiles slightly, giving you a nod, “Right. He came in, named the hotel Baker Hotel.”

“After himself of course.” Colby scoffs with a laugh and Sam nods, “Right, like okay.” He laughs and continues, “it was also known for being the place that sick folks get well.”

Colby shakes his head, “That was a big ass lie.”

Sam and only finish up giving the backstory on the hotel, and you make your way down the hall, “Oh my god, every haunted hotel has a long corridor with a giant ass mirror at the end.”

“Yes!” Colby agrees, and you look at Sam, “It does! How crazy is that?”

“I feel like we’re back in the eighteen hundreds.” Sam laughs and you all walk up to the mirror. You bring your hand up, gently tapping on it as you listen.

“Do you hear something?” Sam asks and you look up with a laugh, “I hear something but I don’t know what it is.”

Colby points, “I think it’s this loud ass fan.”

“Oh.” Sam laughs, “Yeah that would be it.”

“Mirror selfie!” Colby says as he fixes his hair to stand in front of the mirror. Sam moves next to him, and you crouch down in between them, pulling up your phone to snap a picture, “Say Spooky haunted hotel!”

“Spooky haunted hotel!”

“Alright, now that we did our infamous hotel mirror photoshoot.” Sam laughs, “Let’s go to the elevator.”

You make your way down the hall and step onto the elevator, “Alright.” Sam says as Colby points the camera towards him, “You will see people come into this specific elevator, from the second floor, where we just were, and ride up and down the elevator with them and then when they leave the elevator..”

“The person actually isn’t there.” You press your lips together tight as Sam nods, “The person actually isn’t there.”

“Oh I just got goosebumps.” You run your hand up and down your arms, “Fuck.” You laugh nervously, “I’m so exited yet so scared for this.”

“There’s clear ass apparitions in this specific elevator.” Sam looks from you to Colby and back to you. You sigh, “Sam.” You shake your head, “You’re not helping.”

“What?” He laughs, “I’m just saying what we’re getting into.”

“I know.” You groan, “I know.”

“Yeah, I hate that.” Colby laughs, and you jump slightly when the elevator dings, “Fuck.”

“You are jumpy, holy shit.” Sam teases, “You sure you-“

“Yes. I want to do this.” You laugh as you walk past him and off the elevator, “Oh look. World famous, or.. almost world famous..”

“Almost world famous.” Colby laughs as he points the camera close to the arrow sign, “That’s funny, I like that they added that.”

As you make your way down the hall, Colby yells, “whoa, dude. Y/n. That fan is going to fall on your head.”

You look up, “That’s so unsafe looking. But I mean, if it does, then I’ll be a ghost here.” You tilt your head, “I’m kind of for that, though. I’m not going to lie.”

They laugh and you make your way down the hall to where Sam’s room is, “Is this where our room is?” Colby asks and Sam slowly turns around, “My room? You’re staying in 202 remember?”

“Oh you were serious?” Colby frowns and Sam laughs, “Um, yes. Why wouldn’t I be serious?” He pulls a key from his pocket, “My room is in a back fucking corner, what the hell?” He laughs nervously, “Whoa, what the hell is this?”

“It’s a secret passage way!” Colby points to the small door right next to Sam’s door, “Look at the scratch marks!”

“That’s really freaking creepy, the hell?” You run your fingers down the three scratches and Sam points to his door, “Why did this get destroyed so much? Was yours like that?” He looks at Colby and Colby’s furrows his brows, “I’m not staying in that room.”

“I will.” You raise your hand, “And I don’t think it was damaged like that.”

Sam stares at you, almost like he’s mentally trying to tell you no, you’re not staying in that room alone. You furrow your brows, “What?”

Sam shakes his head, “I gotta be honest, I don’t like the idea of you being in 202, like that..”

“I’ll be fine, Sam. I promise.” You give him a smile, but it fades when his face stays the same, “Seriously, Sam.”

“Y/n, I’m serious too when I mean I don’t like that idea. Like if something happens to you.. I will literally square up with a ghost.”

Colby laughs, “Oh I would love to see that.”

You laugh slightly, “If anything happens, I’ll come find you. You know that. If it gets to be too much, I know when to stop. I know my limit.”

“You always try to push that limit, y/n.” Sam tilts his head slightly, “I don’t want that happening, not here. Not in this place.”

“Fine.” You raise your hands in defense, “I won’t push my limit.”

He holds up his hand, “Pinky swear?” You nod, locking your pinky around his, “I swear.” He nods, “Kiss on it.”

You laugh slightly and nod, “Okay.” You kiss your hand, as Sam kisses his and then he steps forward, pecking you on the lips, “Locked in.”

You smile and nod, “Yes.”

“You guys are so cute it’s actually kind of disgusting.” Colby pretends to gag and Sam sighs, “Y/n just took that room for you, don’t be hating.”

“Righr right. Thank you. You guys are absolutely adorable.” Colby laughs and you sigh, “I’ll take it.” You laugh as Sam moves to unlock his door.

“You having issues?” Colby asks as he puts the camera back on Sam and you smirk, “Performance issues.”

Sam slowly looks back at you, mocking your laugh, “Ah ha, very funny. I’m under pressure, it’s hard.”

“It’s not hard.” Colby laughs, and you walk up, “Just push it.. the key right.” Sam turns the key and the door opens. He looks back at you as Colby laughs, “Ohh, there we go! You just had to teach him a little bit yeah?”

You smile, “I guess so.” Your smile fades as the door opens wider and you shake your head, “The vibe I’m getting from this room is just.. it’s so creepy.”

“Oh now don’t say that.” Sam laughs and walks in, you and Colby following him.

“Oh, guys. This is horrifying.” You cover your mouth with your fingers, “oh my god. No wonder it’s tucked away in its own little corner.”

“419 is the most important room, and another most haunted room. It’s know to be haunted by a woman named Theodora, so we’re not exactly sure who she actually was.”

“Yeah, she could have been, what? A patient here when this was a hospital, or she even could have been a nurse?” You look at Colby from looking around the room and he nods, “Yeah either one. She’s usually spotted outside the main door of this room, fumbling with her purse or looking for her keys.”

You raise your brows, “I mean, I think I’d rather take someone outside of the room rather than inside you know?” You laugh slightly and Sam raises his brows, “Is the option to take nothing at all there because I’ll go with that option.”

“Sadly.. no.” You shake your head as you laugh and Sam sighs, “goddamn it. But, on the bright side, Theodora is said to be a nice ghost. She’ll tidy up the room I guess, like when people come in here and throw off all their clothes and go take a shower or something, a lot of people report that everything is folded up nicely.”

“I mean, that sounds pretty nice actually. Like having your stuff folded and remade instead of misplaced or something.” You look at Colby and he nods, “That actually reminds me of the same story from the Stanley.”

“Yeah.” Sam nods, “The maid from 217. And a theory about Theodora, is her being a nurse, a head nurse, until she fell ill with cancer and then she ended up becoming a patient herself, here.”

“That would be freaky.” You nod, “Maybe she’s here because she feels sorry, you know?”

“Yeah, like some guilt about what the patients went through and then what she also ended up going through?” Colby nods, “I mean, I probably would.”

You move more into the room and Sam gasps, “Look at how creepy this looks!” He points to the chairs and you get a chill, “It is so cold in here.” You point, “Oh look at the door..” you walk over, “With no door knob.”

“Is that where Theodora sleeps?” Colby laughs and you nod, laughing with him, “Yeah something is just going to come out and get you guys while you’re sleeping.”

“Don’t- that’s not-“ Sam laughs as he runs his hand through his hair, “Why would they make this so much creepier than the other room?”

You gasp, “This door is nailed shut. That’s not a good sign. Um, good luck. I’m leaving.” You walk away and turn back around, “Actually, I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Yeah, uh huh that’s what I thought.” Sam laughs, “Stay here.”

“Yes sir.” You salute him and he rolls his eyes with a smirk, “Anyway. This room, is just- isn’t that one of his secret passages probably?”

“Maybe.” Colby nods, “it most definitely could be.”

“Oh my god.” You point to the wall over by the bed and walk over.

“Is that a picture of her?” Colby asks and you nod, “Yep. She’s going to watch you guys sleep tonight.”

“Ohh. Hey Sam.” Colby looks at Sam, “that means we’re sleeping in the same bed tonight.” He smirks and Sam gives him a seductive look before breaking into laughter, “Yeah, okay. So anyway. Theodora.” Sam walks up to the portrait.

“I can’t with this room.” You laugh slightly, “I’m so glad I chose to take 202.”

Colby laughs sarcastically and you laugh at him.

You point to a door and walk over to open it, “What’s this?” Colby walks over, “whoa, another secret passage thing.” He walks in and turns around, “Oh you have people carving in their names here.”

“That’s actually crazy.” You peak around the door and look, “Wow, okay. To each their own I guess.”

You walk into the bathroom, “Look at how small this tub is.” You step in and sit down, “Dude, look.” You sit there and wiggle your feet back and forth.

Sam walks over, peaking in before grabbing the curtain and pulling it closed, “Goodnight.”

“See ya!” Colby yells and follows Sam out of the room.

“Run, run” Sam laughs and you frantically get up, “No, no, please!”

Sam walks over and closes the door. He holds it closed as you get out of the bath and he opens it, “Alright, no I feel bad.” He laughs as he opens the door, “I’m sorry.”

You cover your face, “I saw my reflection in the mirror, I almost shit myself. I didn’t know there was a mirror on the door.”

“Aww.” Sam walks over and wraps his arms around you, “It’s okay.” He laughs and you shake your head as you laugh, “Oh my god. I’m just going to jump out of this window.”

“No, no.” Sam holds onto you and pushes you towards the door, “No ghost life for you, please.”

“Fine.” You groan with a smirk.

Soon enough, you make your way down to meet with hotel tour guide, Eddie.

“Do you believe it is actually the most haunted hotel?” Sam asks and Eddie nods, “I do.”

“Really? Why?” Sam questions and Eddie sighs, “I have experience so many things in here, it is not even funny.”

Sam asks him about his scariest experience here and he answers, “Being locked down in the morgue.” Your eyes go wide, “locked.. in the morgue? Oh Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah, almost locked down in the morgue, twice.” Eddie says and you stand there with your jaw dropped, “Oh my god.”

Eddie goes on to talk about how there’s body parts in jars that they have in a class case basically right off to the side. Then the falling woman, who basically got pushed off the balcony after finding out she was pregnant, which you might be able to see between ten thirty and eleven.

Eddie moves you guys inside to talk about the most active spirit.

“Michael, of course.” Eddie says, “He is who we consider a very, very active and intelligent spirit, especially with our ladies.”

Sam looks at you, “Heeeeey, just as I said.” He says in a sing-song tone, “I will square up with a spirit.”

Colby laughs and you shake your head with a laugh, “I’m exited.”

“Now.” Eddie looks at you, “Keep in mind, you might just feel a caress on your cheek, patting of your hair, or even maybe a little tickle on the sides.”

“Oh I hate being tickled.” You point, “Michael, you tickle me and I’ll square up with you myself.”

Sam and Colby laugh and look back to Eddie as he continues, “Michael is actually considered our original spirit.”

“Like the first one ever?” Colby asks and Eddie nods, “Yes, he actually died in the making of this hotel. And the beam he fell and died on, is now a part of 218. He also doesn’t like men being around the ladies, he kind of sees it as a challenge.”

“A competition?” Colby asks as he looks to Sam and then to you, “Uh oh.”

Sam cocks his jaw and looks down, “Oh. Boy.”

You smirk and shake your head, “It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine.”

“So, I have to ask you something.” You look at Eddie, “I’ve heard stories about a particular spirit opening locked doors.. is that Michael?”

Eddie nods, “That would be Michael. He’s known to unlock locked doors and push them open.”

“Whoaaa okay. Thats a little thing we like to call, invasion of privacy but I guess-“ he laughs and Sam shrugs, “When you’re staying in a hotel run by ghosts, I don’t think that matters.”

You decided to take a break to go out and watch for the falling woman but that’s when things started to pick up.

As you’re walking down the steps, you stop, “Sam.” He looks back at you, “What’s up?” You look behind you, “There was someone coming down the stairs behind us.”

“I thought it was Colby, but-“ you motion to Colby and Sam pans the camera to him, “Were all in front of you.”

“Out of the corner of my eye, I swear, like certain Colby was behind me.” You shake your head, “I went to turn and there was nothing and then I looked down and Colby in front of you.” You look at Sam and his eyes go wide, “What the fuuuuck.”

“Did you hear it to, like the steps?” Colby asks as he points to the stairs behind you and you nod, “Yeah, like that’s partially why I thought-“ you stop, laying your hand on your chest, “Feel my-“ you walk to Sam, “Feel my heart.”

He lays his hand on your chest, “Ohh, my god.” He looks at Colby, “Her heart is like beating super fucking fast.”

He raises his brows, “What the fuck.”

“And guys, we were just about to start the investigation. We got all of our equipment, like-“ you cut Sam off, “We’re literally being followed now.”

“We were just talking about communicating and then that happens.” Colby shakes his head, “Fucking crazy.”

You make your way outside and position yourselves so you can see the third floor balcony, hoping to catch the ghost of the woman who fell.

“Wait.” You point, “Did either of you guys turn a light on in my room?”

“No, I don’t remember anyone even touching any switches or anything.” Sam shakes his head, “Did you?” He looks at Colby and Colby shakes his head, “No?”

“Wait, what the heck is going on right now?” Sam asks and you shrug, “That’s 202. That’s the first room we went in and it was daylight out.”

“No one went back to that room since we were in it.” Colby adds, “Fucking crazy work, dude.”

“Cool. Cool.” You laugh nervously, “Fuck.”

“We can look back at the footage, maybe we’re just stupid.” Colby laughs and you nod, “Yeah, I’m going to hope that we’re all just stupid right now, because now.. I’m. Scared.”

“Spooky.” Sam says in a higher pitched tone and you laugh, mocking him, “spooky.”

As you’re looking up at the window, you gasp, “Oh my-“ you take a step back and wrap your arms around yourself as your eyes are still on your window.

Sam turns towards you instantly, “What? What happened?”

“Sorry, sorry. Im sorry.” You look away and Colby steps towards you, “No you’re good, what’d you see?”

“What the fuck just happened, y/n?” Sam hands Colby the camera and moves to, “Y/n.”

“No, no. Because I don’t want to believe what I just-“ you stop, shaking your head as you turn away. Sam rests his hand on your back, “What happened?”

Colby turns the camera light on and you sigh, “No, I just- sorry.” You block your face with your hand as your emotions rush forward, causing you to tear up, “I don’t know why this is happening.”

“Hey, hey.” Sam pulls you into him, “You’re good, okay. Don’t apologize.”

“That was fucking insane.” You look back up to the window, “Oh my god, literally..” you point, “Somebody standing in the window of my room.”

Sam and Colby look up and Sam looks back to you, “Holy shit, okay. If this is effecting you this bad, you don’t-“

“No, it’s fine. That just really caught me off guard.” You laugh, “Oh my god. I have goosebumps.” You lean into Sam’s body as he hugs you tighter, “It’s okay. You’re good.”

“That’s fucking crazy.” Colby shakes his head, “Are you- are you good to go back inside? Like do you need to take a few minutes?”

“No, I’m fine.” You laugh, “I just don’t know why I reacted that way? I’ve seen stuff like that before, I just- I’m sorry.” You laugh some more and shake your head, “Jesus Christ.”

“Do you want to sleep in our room?” Colby offers and you point to him with a laugh, “No fuck your room.”

Colby raises his brows and looks away, “Sorry I-i just, I just thought I’d offer.” He laughs and you shake your head, letting out a sigh, “Fucking hell.”

“What if it’s Michael?” Colby asks and you groan, “Oh fuck, that is his floor. Ohhh no. What if he’s waiting in the room?”

“Michael.” Sam points to the window, “You better let her alone, or I swear to god.”

“You tell him Sam.” Colby punches the air, “put him in his place.”

You laugh and Sam shakes his head, “I just-“

“We know.” Colby nods, “We can put the camera in 202. Just keep it running.” Sam nods, “Yeah because if there’s another noise, you’re not sleeping there.”

You nod, “Yeah, I’ll sleep in between you guys, I’ll be the one to push you both out of bed.” You laugh and Colby cracks up, “I mean, it would be less scary if I had your feet in my back kicking me out of bed.”

Sam laughs, “Well get to the bottom of everything, hopefully.”

Over the next few minutes, Sam keep checking on you. Asking you if you’re good and what not, Colby doing the same.

“Maybe they knew we were coming out here, like they know since that’s my room for the night, they’re kind of curious?” You sigh, “I don’t know.”

“Yeah, like nothing here is evil, so that’s a plus, maybe they’re just a group of nosey spirits.” Sam laughs slightly, “But you’re sure you good? You like instantly started crying.”

“no, yeah. I’m good. That was just..” you blow our air, “Crazy.”

You make your way back into the hotel, specifically second floor, room 202 - your room.

“I have an idea.” You say as you walk up with them to the door, “I’ll go in first, maybe?” Sam shakes his head, “You don’t have to if-“

You cut him off, “No I have to.” You laugh, “I feel like I have to.” You walk up to the door and put the key in the lock, “oh god, okay. I’m so scared.”

“We can give you like a minute and then we’ll come on after?” Sam says, and you nod, “Okay.”

You jump at the lock turning and you lean back, “What the fuck was that?”

“What this?” Colby asks, and you look back at the door, “No, my fucking key just moved!”

Everyone starts talking over each other and you shake your head, “No I didn’t touch it.” Sam gasps, “I thought you touched that?”

You shake your head, looking back down at the key, “No I didn’t-“ you take a deep breath, your voice breaking as you try not to cry, “What the fuck just happened?”

“You didn’t see it?” You look at Sam, he shakes his head, “No but I heard the turning of it, I thought you did it.”

“No.” You motion to the door, “I didnt-“

“are you okay?” Sam reaches out, “You don’t have to, if this is too much we can all go in together, holy shit you do not have to.”

“No, it’s fine.” You laugh slightly, gasping as the door opens, “Fuck, okay. It’s fine. Bye.” You laugh as you walk into the room, grabbing the other camera from Colby before closing the door.

You have the camera facing you as you just stand there for a second, your eyes scanning the area. You walk forward, looking around as you speak to the camera, “So I don’t remember putting this lamp on.”

You point to the lamp, then laying your hand on your chest, “But when I saw, whatever the heck I saw.. it was standing about here.”

You shake your head, “It was probably standing at about six two, six three at the most.” You sigh, “Fuck, okay.” You continue to scan the room, moving around to see if anything happens.

“I’m sweating so bad right now.” You laugh slightly, looking around, “Let’s go into the bathroom, see if anything is- no, I’m not even going to say that.”

You walk over to the bathroom, checking it out, and you don’t see anything, “Oh god, my heart is about to beat out of my chest.”

You walk back out and you jump at the door opening, “Are you good?” Sam asks as he walks in first. You nod, “Yeah, I’m good.”

“You okay?” He asks as he walks up to you and you nod, “Everything’s good.”

“Did you see anything weird?” He asks and you shake your head, “Literally nothing.”

You proceed to explain where and how you saw what you saw in the window, and Colby clears his throat, “You weren’t, like talking to someone in here, were you? Because we swore we heard like .. two voices.”

“I mean, I was talking to myself, to the camera, like in a whisper.” You look between Sam and Colby and Sam raises his brows, “I put my ear up to the door and it sounded like there was another person in here, did you hear another voice?”

“What? No, I didn’t hear anything.” You shake your head, “Trust me, if I heard anything but myself I’d be out.”

“That was literally the longest few minutes of my life.” Sam sighs, “Holy shit that’s intense.”

“We literally just started this damn investigation. Holy fuck.” Colby laughs as he checks his phone, “Literally not even an hour ago.”

“They did say this is the most haunted hotel.” Sam shrugs, “We’re getting what we came here for, that’s for sure.”

You walk over to the lamp, “You guys are sure you didn’t turn this lamp on?” You switch it off, “Oh, hold on. How do you- it’s not working now.” You look up at Sam and Colby, “It won’t turn on.” “

“No way it’s broken after that.” Sam shakes his head, “That’s absolutely-“ you get the light back on, “Oh okay.” You move away from it, “I’m done with the lamp.”

“Let’s just set the camera down here.” Sam walk over to the dresser and motions to the lamp, “That way we can catch to see if that goes off and on or whatever. We’ll also get most of the room right here.”

“Before we start investigating, check this out.” Colby motions for Sam to follow him. You walk out with Sam to the balcony and it looks, still, like straight out from a horror movie.

“We’re in a cloud.” Colby points, “Look at that.”

“And you know what’s even more scarier than that?” Sam asks and you sigh, “if you say the morgue I’m going to cry.”

“Please don’t cry when I say the word.” Sam looks at you sympathetically and you sigh, “I’ll do my best.”

Sam sighs, “The morgue.”

You laugh slightly to cover up your fear, “Fuck, let’s just get it over with.” You make your way to the door with Colby as Sam sets up the camera in the room.

“You sure you’re good?” He asks and you nod, “Yeah.”

“I’ve never seen you like this before, it worries both of us.” Colby tilts his head, “If you’re not, you tell us.”

“I will, Colby. I promised.” You give him a smile and glance back at Sam as he walks out and pulls the door closed.

“Hey.” Sam glances back, “This key, is like.. stuck. Very stuck in this door.” You and Colby walk over and Sam wiggles it a few times before finally getting it out, “Holy shit.”

“Alright. Let’s go.” You shake your head, “I don’t like this floor. I don’t think I’ll like where we’re going anymore, but I need off of this fucking floor.”

“Alright, alright.” Sam lays his hand on your back as you walk next to him, “I got you, we’re going.”

“Why don’t we go to the crystal dining room first? We can do the spirit box there?” Colby suggests as you get on the elevator, and Sam nods, “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Sam steps in front of you, his hands on your arms, “Hey, off camera really quick, are you good?” You look up at him, “Yeah, I’m good.” You nod, “I can do this.”

“Are you sure?” He raises his brows and you rest your hand on his cheek, “I promise. I’m still good.”

He nods, “Okay.”

The elevator doors open and you walk off, making your way to the dining room to meet Eddie again. Sam looks around, “What is that?”

“Is that coming from your backpack?” Colby asks as he points and Sam bends down, pulling out the spirit box, “Did I not just turn this off?”

“I just watched you turn that off.” Colby nods and Sam looks at you, “It’s cold, the blue means it’s cold. This hasn’t happened since the conjuring house.”

“That’s so weird, I mean, I got a chill when we walked down here, but I just thought it was because we were in a more open space, you know?” You look around, “That’s.. so weird.”

Sam shrugs, “This place is just filled with activity.”

You walk into the dining room and you look around, “This looks like a place where dances would be held or something.”

“Whoa.” Sam points to you, “it’s funny you say that, dancing is like a main trigger here.”

You raise your brows, “Oh, alright then.”

As Eddie is explaining, you furrow your brows, “What. Was. That?” You look at them, and Colby shrugs, “No idea.”

“So there’s two dancers.” Sam starts out, “Irene and Vernon Castle, both very, very, very, famous and they spent most of their high and social life here at this hotel, so it’s said, that if you dance to a specific ballroom song, you can see their apparitions.”

“Would anybody like to dance?” Colby chuckles and Sam moves to join Colby for said dance. You laugh quietly, watching them half jokingly sway back and forth, “Aww!”

“Oh wait!” Sam points to the light up cat balls as they go off, “Did we do that?”

“I think we did do that.” Colby laughs. Sam shows them to the camera and you stomp next to it to make them light up as he explains their purpose.

“We also have the REM pod, so if you get close to it.” Sam puts his hand close, “It’ll buzz. Especially when it touches it!” He points as it, “Imagine if it just went odd- oh my god!” He whips around as the cat ball lights up and you gasp, “Was that you Colby?”

“No I’ve been right here!” Colby points to the floor, “I don’t think it was Sam either.”

The REM pod goes off and you all start yelling, “Oh.. my god!”

“What the fuck!?”

You accidently make the other cat ball go off, causing you to jump and Sam yells, “Oh that’s just you. That’s okay!”

“Sorry!” You move away from it and Colby sighs, “Fuck you guys. Let’s dance!”

The light jazz music starts placing and he starts be bopping back and forth, “Can you guys dance to this?”

“No, give me the phone.” You laugh as you take Colby’s phone, searching up a different song, “Okay. Here we go.” You hang Colby his phone back and Sam sets the camera down, coming over to you, “Care for a dance m’lady.”

You laugh, taking his hand and he spins you around. You both aren’t serious about it, smiling and laughing as you both move back and forth. He moves over to dance with Colby and the rem pod goes off, causing Colby to yell, “Oh! The REM pod!”

“Colby grabs the camera and goes over, “Why isn’t it goes off? Did not you say it could be like a janky thing?”

Sam nods, “Yeah, it could just be a-“

You cut him off, “The cat ball!”

They both yell and back away a few steps, “Now we’re not over there.” Colby turns to face you and Sam, “Keep dancing!”

You and Sam take hands and move forward and back from each other, taking turns spinning one another as you try to stifle back both of your laughter.

Colby sets the camera down and takes Sam. You look at the REM pod and cat ball which are lighting up constantly, “Whoa it’s going off constantly!”

“See I said about the pod being janky, but that ball was like fifteen feet away from us!” Sam points as Colby shows him to the camera.

The cat ball goes off again and Sam jumps up, moving back to stand next to you, “Have either of you seen- that one has always had problems!”

It continues to go off and as Sam is standing next to you, you jump away and look down, “Did you just grab my side?” You look at Sam and he shake his head, “No, I had my hands down here- did something touch you?”

“Yeah, yeah, it felt like- here.” You place your hand on Sam’s side and gently squeeze, “Nothing hard or anything, just a gentle-“ you do it again, “Boop.”

“I think Michael has found you.” Colby laughs and you shake your head, “No thank you.”

“You heard her, Michael if that was you, go away, please.” Sam looks around and moves closer to you, “Whoa!” He points to the little up cat ball, “Dude.”

“You know when we came in the air was like.. I don’t know, still?” You shrug, “But now it’s like a breeze? It’s like flowing as if people are continuously moving.”

“Yes! I thought the same!” Colby nods.

“Okay, so that hasn’t gone off in a little, like it went off five times and now nothing? So maybe our freaking out scared them off?” Sam looks at you and Colby, and Colby nods, “Time to move on?”

“Time to move on.” Sam nods, “Let’s go get locked in the morgue.”

“Now.. sam.” You groan, “Don’t say that! You just probably jinxed our asses.”

“Oops.” Sam looks around, “I didn’t- let’s not, get locked in the morgue.” He gives and thumbs up and you shake your head, “Better, I guess.”

You gather the equipment and make your way to the morgue.

“It just got so much creepier.” Sam says as you walk down the stone walled corridor. You walk into a room lit with purple lighting and you sigh, “Oh this is super terrifying.”

You point, “Oh is that.. that isn’t what I think it is.. is it?” You look from Eddie to Sam, “Is that the tissue?”

“Some of them, some of it’s just just the medicine, some of it we don’t even know.” Eddie nods and Colby walks up, “So this could be the formula five?”

Eddie point to a few bottles that are the same size, “We believe this is, yes.”

You look around for a quickly minute and then you leave the room, heading to look at what they call, the meat locker.

“Oh this smells terrible, like rancid .” You scrunch your nose up, “You guys don’t smell that?”

Sam sniffs, “No I can’t smell anything.”

“There’s no way you guys can’t.” You laugh in disbelief, moving to leave the room, “No way you can’t smell that. It’s bad, dude.”

“I smell , like apples?” Colby laughs and you shake your head, “Oh I gotta get out of here. It’s so gross, I feel.. sick now.”

You walk out, as as you’re walking away, you hear Sam talk to Colby, “Here, take this. I’m gonna go check on her.”

You stop, turning around to see Sam walking up to you, “Do you need to go up and outside for a sec? I can go with you.”

You shake your head, “No I’m fine now, like almost immediately after I walked out I felt fine.” You look at him, “You really didn’t smell that? Like you’re being serious?”

He nods, “Yeah, I didn’t smell anything.”

“That’s so.. weird, oh my god.” You laugh, “This place is nuts.”

Colby walks up, “You good? You guys good?”

“Yeah.” You nod, “Good.”

You walk back over with them, listening to Eddie tell his stories about how he was almost locked down here. You just kept feeling like it wasn’t just the four of you down there.

“One of us needs to go in there, just for a minute with the door shut.” Colby looks around you put your finger on your nose, Sam following, and Colby groans, “Oh fuck you guys, you guys suck.”

Colby sighs as Sam and you laugh, “I’m not going into that rancid locker. Hell no.” You shake your head and Sam nods, “Yeah, I’m not making her go in there, and I don’t want to, so.. it’s on you buddy.” He pats Colby’s shoulder, “Here’s your camera, good luck.”

Colby whines as he takes the camera, “Fine. I’ll do it.” He walks in to the room and Sam slowly closes the door, whipping his head towards you as the door makes an eerie creeping sound as it closes, “That’s the creepiest fucking door I’ve ever heard.”

“yeah, that’s awful.” You peak in and smile at Colby, “Ask some good questions.”

Colby silently mocks you as he flicks you off and you laugh as you step back. You, Sam, stand there as you wait for Colby.

You slowly turn around, “I swear to god I just seen something in the corner of my eye, like right back by that door.”

Sam looks back and then looks back to the door as Colby’s voice sounds from the other side, “Did you guys just knock on the door?”

“No.” Sam answers, “Y/n said she say something over by where we came in at, are you good?”

“yeah.” Colby answers, “I just got this weird feelings all of a sudden.”

“I just got dizzy, like it was only for a quick second but I felt like I was going to fall over for a second.” You lay your hand on your forehead and Sam moves over next to you, “Are you okay now? You don’t think you’ll pass out or anything do you?”

“what’s going on?” Colby asks and Sam leans forward to open the door, “She just got dizzy.”

“I feel like I need to go in there.” You shake your head, instantly looking at Sam, “I can’t explain it, like I feel like I need to, just for a second.” “y/n, I don’t-“

“Sam. I’ll be good. Just one minute. You can time me.”

“Okay.” He nods, motioning for Colby to give you the camera, “One minute.” He pulls his phone out, “I’m starting it as soon as the door shuts.”

You take the camera and walk in, using your sleeve to cover your nose as you turn around to watch Colby close the door.

You give it a few seconds, “If someone is in here. Please make a sound.” A few seconds after you go quiet, there’s a scraping sound, “Fuck, okay. Can you do-“

The sound happens again and you move to the door, “Okay, okay.” You push the door open, “I asked if there was anything in here, and there was this scraping, kind of like a plastic sheet dragging off of a couch sound.”

“Do you feel alright? Dizzy, or anything?” Sam asks and you shake your head, “No, but there’s definitely something in there.”

You look back at the room, “It happened twice.”

“I heard two knocks.” Colby nods, “So I agree that there is something in that meat locker. Should we, maybe, all of us go in? Turn all the lights off?” He looks at you, “If you’re up for it?”

You nod, “Yeah. I think that would be a good idea.”

“Okay.” Sam flips off the light to the room and walks in, you behind him with your nose covered, then Colby, who pulls the door shut.

“Ready?” Sam asks and you and Colby nod. Sam sighs, “Alright, three, two, one.”

Sam turns the camera light off, leaving the three of you in the now pitch black room. Almost instantly, the scraping sound happens and you whisper, “That’s what I heard.”

You quietly gag as the smell penetrates through your sleeve, “Fuck.”

“it’s getting too bad for her, let’s get out of here.” Sam nods and pushes the door open, “C’mon.”

You walk out and Sam stares at you for a second, “Good?”

“Good.” You nod, “I’m good.”

“Do you feel like they’re targeting you in any way?” He glances from you to Colby then back to you and you sigh, “I wouldn’t say targeting specifically, like the side grab wasn’t hard or anything and the smell, I don’t- I can’t even explain that.”

“Do you want to do the Planchette thing?” Sam asks and you nod, “Yeah, you’ve had good success with that.”

He nods and gets it out of his backpack to explain it to the camera as Colby holds it.

As you sit down on the ground, and Sam is explaining how to use it, you stare past him and Colby looks, “What is that?”

“he’s just really looking at us.” You point and Sam looks, “Oh him.” He laughs, “Our guide is just standing there watching.”

You and the other two move to put your two fingers on the object that’s on top of a piece of paper.

Sam takes a deep breath, “If there’s anything down here, that wants to show themselves or talk to us, feel free to use our energy ti push this pencil back and forth.”

After a few minutes, Sam looks up and Colby looks over, whispering quietly, “What was that?” He looks over at you and you shake your head, mumbling with a laugh, “I don’t like this.” “Hold on, the paper keeps slipping.” Colby fixes it, “Okay, there we go.”

After a few minutes, and the object moves and Colby looks at Sam. You hang you head down, laughing at the thought of this, “Oh this is crazy.”

“what the fuck?” San laughs nervously, “It’s moving for sure.”

“I’m like staring at our hands and it doesn’t look like anyone is pushing it, that’s the crazy thing to me.” Colby laughs slightly, “I know this doesn’t take much to push, but still, you know?”

“I promise I’m not pushing it. I’m too scared to do anything other than sit as still as I can.” You keep your head down, taking slow breathes as it continues to move.

Another few minutes goes by and Sam picks up the paper, “That looks like an S, or a two,”

Eddie walks over, “How about you come with me?”

“where the fuck did you come from? I thought you left.” You lay your hand on your chest and Colby laughs as Sam walks over to the guide.

“oh, no, no oh my god. Oh my fucking god.” Sam freaks out and you and Colby rush in to see him pointing to the cabinet in the room with all of the jars.

Colby starts freaking out.

You lean around Colby and your jaw drops, “There’s no fucking way.” You put your hands up and turn around, walking out.

“There’s literally no fucking way, no fucking way.” Sam says, “That is fucking almost identical, what the fuck!?”

Him and Colby freak out over it for a little bit longer while you stand out there trying to wrap your mind around what is happening right now.

“I’m actually shaking.” Sam holds his hand out and you step back in, “That’s fucking crazy.”

“That is fucking crazy.” Sam nods, “Holy fuck.”

“I swear to god I didn’t move it, I had no idea what it was going to be. I didn’t even bother looking at it the whole time we were doing that.” You put your hands on top of your head as you back out of the room, “Oh my god.”

“On ghost hunters, they caught the two glowing red, so I’d say that two is significant.” Eddie nods and Sam points to you, “You saw something a little bit ago when Colby came in here.”

You nod, “Yeah, but why that locker? What’s in it?”

“It’s just more of this.” Eddie motions to the full jars on the wall behind him.

“no, when we bought this, I truly did not believe in it worth shit. This is the third time we’ve done it, and every time it worked.” Sam explains excitedly, “Fucking crazy dude.”

For a moment there, you thought the ghost in the window was the worst thing of the night, the. It switched to the number two on the locker, but to your surprise, things kept getting worse.

After finishing up in the morgue, you all headed back up to your room, room number 202.

“I’m going to start recording now, and we’ll go check on your room to see if anything changed.” Sam looks back at you and you nod, “Okay.”

You walk up to the door, unlocking it and pushing it open before walking in. You scan over the room, immediately going to the bathroom as Sam and Colby check the camera.

You stand there, your jaw slack in shock as you turn to gave the door.

“What’s wrong?” Sam walks over to you as you come out of the bathroom, “Y/n.” You walk to the bed, “I made a mental note..” you turn to walk back into the bathroom, “That this towel, was draped over the side of the bathtub like this..” you move the towel from the against the wall, back to where you said it was.

“I made the mental note, just so I could know for sure, but I wonder if maybe when I was in here recording myself maybe I got it on camera?” You point, “Because that is fucking weird.”

“let’s check it out.” Sam nods, handing Colby the camera so he can grab the one you used earlier. You go and sit with Sam on the small couch, leaning over as he goes back to the footage of it just being you.

“Okay, so here you are, going into the bathroom.. and..” he looks at you, “It’s not against the wall, it’s not in the corner, you can see it right there!”

Your one hand flings up to cover your mouth, while you grab Sam’s arm with the other, “Oh my god!”

“It’s draped over the side like she said it was!” Sam looks up at Colby and then to you. Colby walks over,“Like actually? Let me see!”

Sam shows Colby the video and Colby’s jaw falls open, “Holy fuck. We do this shit all the time and somehow I still can’t believe we catch this shit.”

Sam nods, setting the camera down to lay his hand on yours, “No literally, like all the damn time.” He looks over at you, “Are you good?”

“y-no., that’s fucking insane, like that just proves that there’s something in this fucking room.” You stand up and slowly walk away to pace.

Sam stands up, watching your pace back and forth over the floor.

“so..” Colby turns his phone light on, “I have.. another scary thing to say.”

You look up at him, “Oh, that’s just fucking great. What?”

Colby walks over to the window and shines his light, “Tell me this doesn’t look like lips a nose and a chin on the window.”

Your hands fly to your mouth, “Oh my god, it is. It fucking is.”

Sam wraps his arm around your waist and covers his mouth, “that looks like something was presses against it looking in.”

“we’re on the second fucking floor!” Your voice goes a bit higher with fear, “There’s no fucking way, no fucking way. No. No.” You point your finger, “No.”

“it’s non stop.” Sam shakes his head and Colby sighs, “The most haunted hotel in America.”

You keep looking from the window back to the bathroom. You were in, what felt like shock, “there’s no way this is happening. Like I know it is, but I just-“ you shake your head, “Oh my god.”

“We have one final investigation, y/n. It’s up to you on whether or not you want to continue.” Sam looks at you and you take a deep breath, holding it in for a moment before breathing out, “Let’s just do it.”

“You’re sure?” He raises his brows, and you nod, “Yeah, this is too crazy not to finish. I’m fine.”

“okay.” He looks at Colby and Colby nods, “Let’s do this.”

You guys sit down for a second, just to recollect everything. Colby films Sam as he talks about the next, and last investigation of the night, “So it’s getting late, it’s currently..” He looks at his phone, “One fourteen in the morning, and we’re thinking we’re just going to do our final investigation in 419, the most haunted room, and just try to talk to everything at once.”

You look around as Sam continues, “We’re going to invite any spirit that is here, anything that’s been showing themselves to us throughout the entire night, to whatever moved the goddang towel.” He laughs slightly, “If you want to come up with us, you’re welcome to follow us just to, our next room.”

“you ready?” Colby looks at you and you nod, “Yep. Let’s do it.”

You head down to 419, and you and Colby make your way into the room while Sam goes to the bathroom.

“Before Sam gets back, are you really okay?” Colby looks over at you as he sets the camera down, “It’s totally okay if you’re not.”

You take a deep breath, “To be honest Colby, if I was with anyone else, I probably would have been at my limit already. I mean, this isn’t a bad hotel, like Sam said before, there isn’t any bad spirits here, it’s just the stuff that’s actually happening. The face print, to the towel moving, like it’s all just mentally.. confusing? You know what I mean?”

He nods, “I know what you mean. Doing this has taken a lot out of us some times. I’m just glad that you feel safe enough with us to keep doing this. You know damn well Sam would try to fight a ghost for you.”

You smile, laughing as you nod your head, “I don’t know how far he’d get with that, but I know Michael is living for it.”

Colby laughs and nods, turning his head as you hear knocking on the door, “That has to be Sam.”

“Or Theodora coming to fold some towels.” You give yourself the chills, “I hope it’s Sam.” You walk over with Colby, watching as the door opens and you immediately start laughing, “Oh my god.”

“Are you ready to summon Norman Baker!?” Sam comes in and dances around the room.

“You said you were going to the bathroom!” Colby laughs, recording Sam as he continues dancing, “What the shit?”

“I’m gonna summon Norman fuckin’ Baker in my purple sweatsuit.”

“where.. the hell did you even acquire something like this, Sam? Where did you have this stashed?” You look him up and down and laugh, “Oh my god.”

“I just wanted to be like Norman Baker.” He pulls the mask down from his mouth, “His favorite color is purple.”

You shake your head and walk over to sit down in one of the chairs, Sam follows and sits next to you, taking off the purple ski mask fully.

“You look like a nurse!” Colby says as he walks over, and Sam gasps, “Ohhh!”

You nod, “Yeah, he does.”

“Theodora is a nurse.” Sam looks over at you, “Like the head nurse.” You nod, “Sam, you nailed it with this one.” You laugh, “I can’t believe you’re wearing a rom- sorry, Momper.” You glance at the camera, “A man romper, but you look good in purple.”

“thank you. Thank you.” He smirks, “So anyway. This is one of our favorite methods of communication, they’re just.. regular flashlights.”

“yeah, yeah, I was with you guys at the, fuck, what’s it called.. the um, the fort something.. I can’t remember.” Colby snaps, finishing what you’re trying to say, “Yeah, yeah, Fort Henry.”

“that’s it.” You nod, “That was mind blowing, to say the least.”

“So you’ve seen how well this works, and then we have this device, called the Ovilus, it generates words based on frequencies. It also has a dictionary, so whatever comes here can speak back to us.” Sam smiles, “This shit is crazy.”

He looks around, “So we are here in Theodora’s room and I am wearing purple for Norman Baker.”

“it’s blue.” Colby whispers, and Sam looks up at him, “What?”

Colby speaks up, laughing slightly, “It’s blue.” Sam sighs and shakes his head, “If this color..” he points to himself, “Is blue, can you go up and tap the blue flashlight?” He turns around, “just go up, hit it, and it’ll turn on.”

Sam turns back around, and gives it a few seconds. You sit there quietly, looking at the device in his hand.

Sam points to Colby, whispering harshly, “I told you.” He flicks him off and Colby pans the camera to you.

You shrug and laugh quietly, “Leave me out of this.”

Colby turns the camera around to himself and he whispers as he flicks you and Sam off, “Fuck you, fuck you guys!”

“okay, but seriously.” Sam stops just as the red flashlight on the table turns on.

“oh my god.” You bring your hands to your face, “Oh my god.”

Colby points, “Theodora, if you’re with us, can you turn this off right here.” After a few seconds of it staying on, Colby turns the camera back to you and Sam, “Could it be Norman?”

“oh my god.” Sam shakes his head, “If your name is Norman Baker, if you recognize the name, can you turn off that red flashlight.”

Sam wasn’t even done speaking and the light went off. He stands up as you all gasp and yell, “Oh my god!”

Colby stands up, pointing behind you, “That one turned on! That one turned on!”

“it went off almost instantly.” You look behind you as Colby asks a question, “Do you not like talking about Norman Baker? Can you let us know if you want us to change the subject?”

You the a deep breath, “Did Michael follow us up here?”

“oh shit.” Colby whispers, “Maybe he did.” Sam yells and points behind you as the blue flashlight on the mantle turns on, “Ooooh!”

You gasp and pull your hood on your sweatshirt over and around your face as you let out a whine, “Noooo!”

You feel Sam’s hand lay on your shoulder and you look up, glancing back at the flashlight, “I don’t like it, I don’t like it, Michael. No.”

“let’s test it.” Sam nods, “If your name is Michael, can you turn off that blue flashlight on three?”

“one.”

“two.”

the flashlight goes off and you whip around, covering your face, “Noooo!” You stand up, shaking your head as you walk further away from the flashlight, “Oh my god. I cannot.”

“that was even on three.” Colby laughs, and Sam stands up, stepping closer to you as you speak, “Michael, I don’t know what you want, I can’t give you what you want.” You shake your head and walk back over to sit down in the chair.

Sam sits down next to you, “Ask another.”

“Michael.” You sigh, “If you want to talk to me, can you give me a sign of some sort? Touch the flashlights, or tell me on the device in my hand.”

Sam points to your hand, “If you speak right into this device, we can hear ya.”

“wait.” Colby stands up, “Is the ac on?”

“what?” Sam asks and Colby points, “Didn’t we turn that off?”

“it’s off.” You nod, and Sam agrees, “we turned it off.”

“I just felt like a cold breeze go this way.” Colby points, “Like on the back of my neck.”

Sam takes the device from your hand, “can you give us a hint as to who you are? We’d love to hear your story and speak to you directly.”

he pauses for a brief moment, “Occupation, or your name.” you gasp and point to the blue flashlight, “That just turned on.”

Sam keeps his eyes on the light, “Did you work here at the hotel? If so, can you turn that flashlight off?” the flash light goes off and Colby gasps slightly, “Ooh, okay. Um, Michael worked here, right? Wasn’t he a construction person?”

you and Sam both nod, “Yeah.”

“Maybe it’s time for that system, so we can get more clear answers.” Colby suggests and sam nods, holding up the device in his hand as Colby explains it, “So we have a piece of ghost equipment called the spirit box, if you come up and talk to it we can hear exactly what you’re saying through radio frequencies. If you’d like to use that give us an obvious si-“

“on, on on.” You point to the flashlight, “That’s on.”

“literally right as I said it, too!” Colby backs up, “Shit, okay. Since the spirit box wasn’t working, why don’t we take it up a notch and do the Estes method?”

“let’s do it.” Sam nods and you stand up, “I love this method.”

you move to the end of the bed, sitting next to Colby as he explains how it works for the camera.

“If anything goes weird, we’ll pull you out.” Sam assures and you nod as you get the blindfold ready, “I appreciate it.” You smile as you tie the blindfold around your head to cover your eyes and you put on the headphones that are producing a noise cancelling static.

Colby calls your name a few times, asking if you can hear him but you don’t budge. All you hear is static. “perfect.” Sam nods, and instantly after, you speak, “No man.”

Sam and Colby look at each other trying to figure out who doesn’t like men and Sam gasps, “Michael? Is this Michael?”

You stay still, repeating the words that you hear, “Girl I want you.”

Colby gasps, along with Sam, “Ohhh my fucking god!”

Colby looks back at you, “Michael, do you want y/n?”

You stay still, “Rope.” Colby shrugs, “He fell, didn’t he?”

Sam scoffs, “Yeah, or it’s like.. sexually?” Colby nods, “Yeah, like kinky shit.”

“Tell me… where you are now.”

Colby’s jaw drops as he looks at Sam to whisper, “I can hear this in her headphones.”

“I’m going to..” you shake your head, pausing. Sam picks up, “Where ya goin’?”

“what are you gonna do?” Colby asks, but you don’t say anything for a moment.

“I’ve worked here..”

Colby gasps and Sam tilts his head as he asks, “Did you work here with patients?” It’s silent for another few moments. “Children.”

“what would children- there was a children’s wing.” Sam nods, “This could be a nurse.” Colby looks from Sam to you, “can you give us a hint on who you are or what’s going on?” You shake your head slightly, “War..”

“The civil war?” Sam questions, “Wasn’t that like in the same city?”

“We are..” you pause, “Gone..”

“We are gone?” Sam repeats, and Colby looks at you, “Are you trapped here?” You don’t say anything for an another moment, “Empath.”

Colby gasps, “Can you tell that y/n is an empath? Have you been showing yourself to y/n all night?” Sam and Colby stare at you as they await for a potential answer.

“patience.”

“uh oh.” Sam shakes his head, “I don’t-“

You cut him off, “A man.”

“Are you the man that y/n saw in the bedroom, in the hotel room?” Sam asks, and it’s silent for another few minutes.

“God was here.”

“were you watching us from the window when we were outside?” Colby asks and again, silence for a few moments.

”I’m in the room.”

Sam gasps as Colby raises his hands to his face.

“what the fuck?” Sam whispers loudly as he looks at Colby then quickly back to you, “oh fuck, where are you?”

You shake your head, “That was so clear, I don’t know what is going on.”

“where are you in the room? Can you you point or show us?” Sam asks, “Fuck, Colby.”

Colby nods, looking from Sam to you, “Could it have been like the man in the window from her room or-“

you cut Colby off, “In the corner.”

“what the fuck!?” Sam yells, “In this corner?”

“glass.”

“glass?” Colby repeats, “no they’re talking about the other room.” Sam nods, “the window, and being in the room.”

“Holy shit.” Colby shakes his head, “I think this is Michael.”

“I fucking hope not.” Sam laughs slightly, “Can you confirm for us-“

“I like to dance.” ”were you in the ballroom with us?” Sam asks, pausing to wait for your response, but you say nothing. Colby speaks up, “Have you been following us all night?”

After a minute, you still don’t answer, so Colby asks again, “Can you confirm that you’re Michael.” he shakes his head, “That’s all we wanna know.”

“what’s your job, or-“

you cut Sam off, “I am here.”

Colby points to Sam and Sam yells, “oooh my god get her out, get her out, Colby.” Colby reaches over instantly and lays his hand on your shoulder. He reaches up to take off the headphones and you take off your blindfold, “Was it good?”

“ho-ly shit.” Sam says excitedly, and you look up at him, “I forgot about being here, like I forgot you guys were here.”

“well.. we asked if Michael was here and if he could confirm and you said, I’m here.” Your jaw drops and you shake your head, “Oh no no no.”

“and right at the beginning it was like girl I want you.” Sam laughs, “Good luck, Michael. Shes mine. You can’t have her.”

you laugh, shaking your head, “Good god. That actually gave me chills, that freaked me out majorly.”

“wait, really?” Sam asks and you nod, “yeah, it was like the most clear thing. It through me off at first, and then it just kept going.”

“listen, I don’t think Michael is a bad spirit.” Colby starts, “I think he was just following us the entire night. Just trying to get y/n’s attention.”

“fucking crazy st-“ you stop, gasping as you look behind you. Colby motions and Sam looks over, “What is that?”

“someone is probably in- I don’t know, what time is it?” You look up at Sam and Colby shrugs, “Go look.”

Sam walks over to the door and Colby follows, “There’s no door open, maybe someone opened it and then closed it after a second.” Sam whispers and you let out a shakey sigh as they walk back over.

“oh my goodness.” Sam sits across from you and Colby, “I can’t..” he stops and Colby shakes his head, “This entire investigation..” he motions and covers his gave.

You nod, “Just crazy.”

“I mean, it makes so much sense.” Sam starts as he looks at you, “He showed himself to you, and then he talked to you.”

“yeah, yeah. Crazy.” You laugh, “I don’t.. think I want to sleep alone, honestly.”

Sam nods, “Yeah, if Colby’s cool with it, he can stay here and the. I’ll stay with you in 202?”

Colby nods, “Yeah, that’s fine with me.”

─── ※ · 𝕏 ℙ 𝕃 ℝ · ※ ───

Thank you all so much for reading! I forgot how much fun it is to write reader into these videos! I hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it! I love you all and I will catch you in the next one! 🖤

likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[endereies]

FALLING FOR YOU - CS

No Nut November - Day 11

NNN Masterlist...

-➤ When you and Chris go on a hike, you manage to injure yourself slightly

Hiking wasn’t exactly a hobby of yours, while nature always looked so beautiful, you found yourself watching purely documentaries to get the taste of the outdoors. That was until your boyfriend came beaming to you.

“Baby!” Chris practically barged into your room, phone shining brightly in the unlit room. Without a word, he placed his phone in your hands, the screen showing a beautiful trail.

“A new trail at the park got built! It hikes around in a loop and shows off all the autumn trees that are in season. Just like those shows you watch.” He wasn’t wrong, it highlighted the most beautiful trees that were around the huge park central, and for once you were enticed to go.

So, the next morning, on a spontaneous whimsey, you both headed down to the hike trail. For somewhere so new an advertised, you were sure to find a load of people, yet it seemed fairly limited. Neither you nor Chris complained as it gave a more peaceful atmosphere so you could admire the scenery.

The floors were coated in leaves, varying in sizes, shapes and colour. A small collection grew in your arms before too many were being eyes, and even more were crumpling another in our grip. The trail had fenced linings on parts what needed the extra assistance, yet the majority was rocky pathways that embraced the natural range.

“This is even prettier when you’re in person” You looked around the shielded pathway to find blooming trees and flowers line the fencing as if it was a movie.

“Agreed- woah!” Easily distracted from conversation, Chris went slightly off the directed route and picked up a large stick from a tree. With a small yank, it broke off the remaining centimetre of wood and slid down to his feet. Then he picked it up and placed it on his shoulder.

Multiple impressions and giggles followed the pair of you, laughter emitting whenever Chris held facial expressions. The stick was easily three times the height of Chris and caused for several sensible and dick jokes to take place.

With the slight distraction, you stumbled with laughter, hoping to find the fencing to grip on to. When that failed to happen, your ankle forced itself down a sharp edge of a rock, scraping off a layer of skin from the surface.

Immediately, the stick was tossed and discarded down the edge of the pathway. Chris’ frame was quick to be by yours, bending down to where you were sat on the rock. The dirt didn’t matter as you both looked at the sides of your ankle leading up to your skin.

It wasn’t anything nasty, the tint of blood shining though the cracked skin layer, but it gave a nasty sting. A wince left your lips as your boyfriend helped you to your feet.

“Shit, are you alright?” His arm was tucked loosely under yours, letting you push on it if need be.

“Yeah, I am… Just stings like a fucking bitch though.” A tinge of guilt ran through Chris’ brain at the recall of what happened before the fall. “Sorry my love, I shouldn’t have done that.”

You smiled at the thoughtfulness and idiocy of the boy. “Chris, it wasn’t your fault, I clearly didn’t look where I was going. Don’t blame yourself for making me laugh.”

You both fell silent, however when you met eye contact, laughter passed through the air. Once you clarified you weren’t hurt by anything, the stupidity seeped through to your minds.

“Of course, something goes wrong with your clumsiness.” Chris could not keep a straight face as he spoke, not even looking away from you helped.

“Oh shush, I’ll push you don’t there if you’re not careful.

“At least all the races will be won by me.” It hadn’t even been two minutes yet and he was already pulling out the injury card

“You fucking wish.”

@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckers @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @zariyamitchell-blog @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @slutf4rmatt @flouvela @lovesturni0l0s @2prcntmilkluvr @ribread03

© ENDEREIES 2024

[naanima]

I needddd Max reaction! I NEED HIM TO GO FERAL ABOUT IT

This is part 2. Part 1 is here.

YES. HE WOULD. Max receiving the message of Daniel and his new back tattoo.

Not beta'd. Gods, this is so NOT edited in any way shape or form. But I wrote this in a half dazed frenzy. I'll post a proper copy of this and the first part as one whole fic sometime in the next few days on ao3. Thanks for being equally feral as me guys!

EXPLICIT: There's wanking and sex. Sort of.

1.48k words. I wrote over 2k words today. I am done. Probably tapped out writing wise for the next two to three days. Lols.

"MAAAX!" An arm went around his neck and a wet kiss missed his cheek, and was instead plastered across his head. More people joined and Max was pulled out into the heaving mass of people dancing to the club music.

Max was so happy, he was also so drunk, but he was so fucking happy. Every win was of course important. But this one, this one was so important, this year has been shit. The fucking worst. The car is shit, the people who had won with him, the ones he thought would be always with him had left, gone to the competition. He had thought he had finally gotten Daniel back, after years of not having him. That they were finally at a point in their lives that they could get their shit together and make it work. But that had been snatched away.

And he understood why Daniel couldn't stay, why he had to leave. Max wasn't a teenager anymore, he understood that F1 wasn't always fair. It was shit.At least Daniel had visited him in Monaco. At least he the past two years had allowed them to be together more often then they had.

Winning the WDC made it, not exactly worth it, but it made things easier to accept. Made it bearable.

He threw back his gin and tonic, and a full glass of gin and tonic was placed into his hand. He laughed, drank it all, passed the empty glass to whomever was closest, and jumped into the mass of people all celebrating his win. Their combined efforts gave Max the opportunity to win.

He didn't know how long he danced for, pulled in by people who wanted to hug him, kiss him on the cheek, tell him they loved him, then he was passed along to the next person, rinse and repeat. Max was so happy, Max wished Daniel was here with him, wished it was Daniel pulling him in to kiss him on the cheeks, maybe to miss and then they would end up kissing on the mouth. Daniel was so strong now, he would be able to lift him off the floor for a hug, and maybe Max could wrap his legs around his waist, and then - fuck, he needed to stop. He was so hot, and the air felt like thick molasses, and Max was a bit dizzy, and fuck he needed to take a piss.

He stumbled his way to the bathroom, avoided outstretched hands with a laugh, and told people, "I need to piss."

His phone buzzed as he was washing his hands at the sink. He looked down and saw Daniel’s name flash across the top of the screen. It didn't show the content, something he had set up so that he could have some privacy from fans, the media and the paparazzi.

He had received so many messages, from almost everyone in his life, but he hadn't received anything from Daniel yet. He knew he was in America, most likely in LA. But he had not received anything from Daniel.

But now Daniel was texting him, and Max could feel his heart beating faster. He was worried, not seriously, but he was a little concerned. But it was okay now because Daniel was messaging him, probably so that could congratulate him like had for every win he has had.

Max unlocked his phone and opened his messages, pulling up his message thread with Daniel. He didn't know what he was seeing at first. Didn't know why Daniel had sent him a picture of a naked man, but then everything clicked, the curls, the tattoos on the thigh, the muscled back and the ass that Max had dreamed about as a teenager, fuck, had dreamed about as an adult.

Shit, did Daniel send this by mistake, was it meant for someone else? Fuck that fucking person. God, Daniel looked so good, Max wanted to touch every bit of the exposed skin. And then Max took in Daniel's lower back, something gold and black on red skin just above his ass. And Max had to zoom in, squinted his eyes to look, and when it finally became apparent, Max’s hand tightened around his phone and a deep guttural groan escaped his lips.

And oh my fucking god. He was suddenly so hard, a whiskey dick apparently not making an impact at all in the face of a naked Daniel Riccardo. A Daniel Ricciardo who had branded himself with Max's name right above his ass, and what the fuck was Max meant to do with that. His brain felt like it was on fire, his whole body felt like it was too small for his needs, he was sweating, and he suddenly felt like he was starving. A deep ache that needed to be filled, felt as if it could consume him if he let it. Fuck. Max needed to come right now.

He made his way into one of the cubicles, locked the door and sat on top of the closed toilet. He had to hold his phone under his chin as he used both of his hands to unzip himself, to pull his pants off so that he could reach his dick. And gods it felt so fucking good, his pre-come overflowing across his hands, running down his dick.

He used his right hand to hold the phone up so that he could see Daniel's naked back, so that he could see his initials, his wins, his fucking brand on Daniel. His left hand formed a tight wet channel around his cock as he fucked into it. He kept on looking at the tattoo, thought about tracing his name in gold with his fingers, thought about kissing it, licking it with his tongue, biting into it until he left his teeth marks on top of it. His hands pressing into it as he went down the curve of Daniel's ass. His mouth and tongue licking downwards till he reached Daniel's tight hole. He could bring so much pleasure to Daniel, could make him squirm and moan, shake and cry like a mindless drooling toy, could make him come on his tongue as he held him down by his hips.

He could fuck slowly into Daniel using just his spit and his pre-come, his dick buried deep, and then slowly pull out as Daniel’s body tried to hold him in, all the while watching Daniel's lower back, his name tattooed onto smooth skin. Daniel had branded himself for Max. Had made himself his, and Max wanted Daniel here, he wanted to suck Daniel's dick, push his face into his pubes, wanted to come over Daniel's back, his come all over his name in gold and black ink. He could lick his own come off Daniel's back afterwards, could push his own come into Daniel’s red used hole, and - fuck, his body tensed all over, his brain whited out, and he came with a long deep moan, and he might have blakced out for a split second. When he came back into himself, his come was cooling all over his hand and he could feel some on his chin.

His pants were half off his ass, and his spent dick was out in the open air. But he didn't really care, he felt relaxed and saited. His phone was still held tightly in his hand, the screen black now. And he realised that he hadn't responded to Daniel. He unlocked his phone, looked at the picture of Daniel, felt his dick twitch, didn't think, just snapped a photo of his spent and sent it to Daniel.

Halfway to pulling his pants up a thought struck him, and he unlocked his phone again to google for an answer. He almost threw his phone against the cubicle’s wall. Barely contained himself from screaming in frustration as he sent a message to Daniel.

TO DANIEL: Daniel, a tattoo can take up to 8 weeks to heal!?

Fuck this shit. He had waited for nearly a decade for a sign from Daniel that he would be interested. And now that he has got his answer it was going to take eight fucking weeks before he could lick, bite and fucking push his hands into the gold of his name on Daniel's back. Fuck this shit.

Max Verstappen was a four times world champion. He played to win, took the gap no matter how small if it meant he could win it all. Daniel had given him a free and open invite for the rest of his life, and Max was not going to let Daniel have a chance to ever doubt his decision to make him Max’s.

TO DANIEL: Daniel. This means you are mine now, and it is of course only fair if you know I am yours. I always wanted a tattoo, and “3” is my favourite number.

[alexandraisyes]

500 FOLLOWERS

Wow. 500 of you. That number feels surreal, especially after everything these past few months. (Don't scroll away there's a surprise at the bottom of the post.)

In July, I faced harassment over a rumor about being hired as a TSAMS writer. In August and September, it escalated—stalking, harassment, and widespread slander over SolarNexus, a ship I don’t even ship. October brought betrayal as someone I trusted turned out to be a predator, slandering our friend group, faking their death, and running away upon confrontation. Last month, I had to take a stand against someone sharing NSFW with minors, leading to more slander and harassment.

Now it’s December, and honestly, fandom discourse feels inevitable. But you know what? I don’t care.

This community has been so supportive to me throughout this. I have grown close with friends, made new ones, and gained so many supporters and I don't know how to say thank you enough. I've reached so many of my goals for this year, and there's always going to be more work to do.

I'm starting a new fic. I'm updating my old ones. I'm making art for a voice actor. I'm a mod in the community server. And I'm finally working on a project again that I started in August.

I’ve been really hesitant to show this project off on main, beyond reblogging things here and there. I won’t reveal which character I specifically play—though it probably wouldn’t be hard to guess.

This project started as a way to support the mod who plays Lunar, who was receiving harassment simply for enforcing their boundaries. Yes, you read that right—they were harassed because they didn’t want to post negative confessions. When we saw that happening, my friends and I got together, and I said, “Haha, wouldn’t it be so cool if we just made a bunch of confession blogs to dunk on the haters and roleplay and shit?”

Within 24 hours, two new blogs popped up. One hasn’t done anything to hurt me, so I won’t name them, but we all know who they are. The second? Biased-tsams-confessions—a blog that was one of the leading forces behind the harassment I faced in August. They would flip their lid if they knew I was the leading force behind TSBS CVAU and remain its head administrator and manager. Honestly? That makes me even prouder of this project.

Of course, I couldn’t do this alone. A huge thank you to my partner in crime, @lyrical-hue, who has been my rock throughout this journey. They’ve helped smooth out the bumps along the way, making sure I don’t handle everything solo.

I’m so excited to finally share this project with my fanbase publicly. We’re expanding our world and currently looking for new members to join the group! If you’re interested, you can apply here:

Okay so now the real question. How am I celebrating this milestone? The past two times I made a post like this I did a raffle (one of which I'm still finishing the artwork for). This time I'd like to do something different.

I want to make some free emotes for the community. My community. To give back some of the support I've been given.

To be applicable for this, reblog this post with references of your character designs, AU designs, OCs, or sonas. As many as you want. They can be your own characters, or personal designs for preexisting characters. Or even just. Characters. I will literally just take canon designs of characters too. I'll even take requests for my own designs. As you can see there are a LOT of emotes there, so I need a LOT of characters from the community.

RULES:

Characters must be submitted through REBLOGS

You do not get to choose which emote is made, I do, I'm doing this for free after all

You HAVE to be following me, this is an event to celebrate my followers after all.

And uh, yeah that's kinda it. If you want to join the discord you can join here:

[0alix0]

Can't get rid of a thought about how utterly USELESS the 10 year time jump really was.

I didn't like the idea first, it's a DECADE we're talking about. Like for this time alone you can get a child and raise them to a 4th grade, you can get a full medical degree, you can grow a Christmas tree from sprout. A DECADE GUYS. And I'm not even talking about logical missteps. What was Inquisitor doing this whole time? What the fuck was Solas doing this whole time?? I don't remember any new of his shenanigans being mentioned in the game. Why didn't his agents push him further into action because, you know, they're not getting any younger? Why's Varric still chasing after Solas??? Why's Lavellan still chasing after him??? It's a decade, any normal healthy person would reasonably calm down and maybe give up at all. and if they aren't normal healthy people, then you should probably show them being unhealthily attached to solas, give the reasons for it and consequences!

STILL there was potential for drama. Seeing some older versions of companions moving on with their life, changing so much since the last time we saw them. Inquisitor being a bit too old to deal with all that, maybe having a family, kids. Lavellan becoming one of the primary reasons for Solas to destroy the veil, because she's right there dying slowly because of the it, because of him.

Good stuff.

But no. It literally doesn't matter! It's never used for anything even remotely emotional. The only reason it exists is to justify the lack of character choices from previous games, and even THAT feels like a bullshit when you look back at the Inquisition. A game that takes place 10 YEARS AFTER ORIGINS yet still respects at least SOME of the player's choices beyond "who did you fuck?"

And now everybody just ignores it! Fans, writers, even the developers who created npcs. Isabella looks about the same she did in DAI multiplayer. Harding's just changed her hair a bit. Morrigan has the same face as she had in Inquisition. The only one who kinda changed is Varric, but.... come the fuck on, take inquisition!Varric, put him into vagrant's clothes, grow some hair, dye it, and make him alcoholic. One month of work. That's it.

Shit's hilarious 🚬

[wosowffc]

New gunner

Part 2

I woke up early as usual and began my moring routine, but to day katrina was up and getting ready first. I gently nod at her as she says good morning and I make my way to the bathroom.

After a bit of getting ready and packing my last things for tonight I start getting shoes on when she speaks up.

"Imma come with you on your walk" she says trying her own shoes. I don't even get a chance to say no before she's waiting at the door.

We walk towards the beach as the sun starts to rise and I sit on my usual rock slightly uncomfortable, I know she's nice to me but I don't know what to say and worse I don't know why she wants to be here or what she wants to say.

"So yesterday got tense, I understand your trying I do but, your making it really really hard to see" she says truthfully looking into the ocean like I am.

"I've never been good to people, people haven't been good to me kat." I answer back this is the most honest and open I've ever been.

"I'm dropping myself from the mitildas, I'm not playing for country anymore" she turn to face me eyes with a sad look.

"Take a break if your finding it hard but please , please don't quit your too good for that." She says which makes me start to think about it more.

We sit for another half an hour before she has to go back to get back home, my flight isn't for a bit yet so I have a little bit more time here.

I've just landed off the second plane into Heathrow quickly getting my things and driving back to my apartment. Settling down with some subway take out and a movie on I make the mistake of going onto my phone. I see the comments coming in, tags, stories and so much more. I'm not weak. Sure ok I'll keep telling my self that so I swap the food out with wiskey as I scroll throught. I'm not weak.

The next few days seem to blur together a mix of drink and spirits for breakfast lunch and dinner and now it's time to go back to club. Great.

From the minute i enter the grounds I just know I want out already, I won't show that though. I walk through getting looks from every single person, as I arrive in the dressing room there's a few girls slot of the England girls their conversation dying as soon as I come in.

After a min of silence and me putting my boots in the cubicle Lucy speaks up " what u did was fucking disgraceful" not this early Lucy, I take a drink of my water (Malibu) and turn to her.

"Mabey if Leah wasn't doing shit the whole game then pulling that stunt on my she wouldn't have got hurt" I retaliate with a calm face.

"Ur a fucking bastard" she spat back leaving the room to catch up with the group she was talking to.

I continue training not showing that I'm annoyed by anythign that was said. I get the normal pushing and dirty takles but it's ok, training goes on like this for the next 3 days but each day is getting worse than I've experienced before like on Tuesday I was tripped down the stairs by Sam and busted my nose or when I was out on the pitch and Millie tackled me putting studs in my head.

Today was probably going to be the same and I most likely have a concussion but whiskey and beer is holding back them symptoms. I make my way into the canteen to grab a cereal bar before the gym when people started saying shit I can't even make out what it is through drunken haze but I just walk away adding "can u all just fuck off"

I make my way to the car taking soem breaths and gettign my water bottle. The next thing I know I'm on the phone to katrina hoping she will answer.

"Hey, how are you" she answers cheerfully I can hear harper in the back watching some cartoon.

"Umm yeah normal, I wanted to ask if mabey, and it's ok if not I'd understand. Could you help me find a new club?" You know cause of everything this last week alone with you being you in general she mightn't want to help.

"Of course , has something happened you've been at chlease for a good few years?"

"It's time for a change." I answer short and sweet.

"Listen I'll contact my agent and get him to look around for h and let you know ok, I'll get back to u soon byeee" she hangs up and I start to drive not even thinking about coming back to this place im done here my cubbie doesn't have anything in it anyway that I need to come back for as my boots are in the boot of the car.