#shi maria

[mongo-the-liensis]

Wait. So no one can find out about the Cookbook or it disappears right? But Shi Maria is possessing Carl. Can he not use it until she's gone or????

[scurviesdisneyblog]

The Art of Turning Red 

[variouspolltournaments]

No Propaganda For Either

[blaylists]

remember when I used to kiss all the tears off your face? you want endless care and infinite space

[sillykiu]

hey everyone so now i have more new lab rats 💜💜💜

how much aura do i gain (or lose) for being in these fandoms

[kamreadsandrecs]

By Melissa Chan

The Philippines, a nation of more than 110 million people, 7,000 islands and 100 ethnic groups, fails to receive commensurate global attention relative to its significance. When it does make the headlines, it is often because of an unfortunate natural disaster – countless people swept away in a flood or buried under lava.

Two new books serve to remedy our ignorance: Philip Bowring’s The Making of the Modern Philippines and How to Stand Up to a Dictator by the 2021 Nobel peace laureate Maria Ressa. Both authors are journalists who have spent decades in Asia. Bowring’s book takes a more traditional approach, scholarly and dispassionate, while Ressa’s is almost a manifesto – both an account of her lived experience as a Filipina American and an appeal to readers to join her in the fight against authoritarianism across the world.

Bowring starts from the very beginning – including plate tectonics and the region’s earliest inhabitants – and takes us up to the past eighteen months. European colonization began nearly half a millennium ago, following the arrival of the Spanish explorer Miguel López de Legazpi in 1565. Manila became the capital of the Spanish East Indies in 1571 and the administration of territories fell to a chaotic mixture of clergy and soldiers, who often ruled by patronage. Poor governance racked the region from its earliest years. Bowring shows how decisions made by European traders and missionaries several centuries ago continue to manifest themselves in today’s contemporary fissures and patronage networks.

There is no question that Bowring knows his material, which makes it unfortunate that, while useful, his book would have benefited from an additional beta reader and more fastidious copy editor. Chapters sometimes read like extended Wikipedia entries or, when the author rattles off the country’s industrial output over several pages, a chamber of commerce report. Missing full stops at the end of sentences and accidental duplicate lines give it an unfinished feel.

An actual editor might also have opted to intervene when Bowring declares that “racism … was not among [Douglas MacArthur’s] many faults”. This arrives on the back of a description of MacArthur’s affair with a Filipina teenager, conducted when the general was in his fifties. In 2023 we surely recognize the uneven power dynamics of a colonial-era relationship and the cavalier orientalism with which MacArthur ultimately abandoned the girl he nicknamed “Dimples”.

Despite its failures, The Making of the Modern Philippinesis a solid primer to an archipelago that Bowring aptly describes as “a political identity with a singular name for nearly 500 years, much longer than many of its neighbours”. And it is with that appreciation for the country that we can turn to Ressa’s story. Ressa is a co-founder of Rappler, a news site that, among other things, doggedly investigated the presidency of the populist strongman Rodrigo Duterte (2016–22), including the putative anti-drugs campaign that permitted the extrajudicial murders of more than 5,000 citizens. It did not take the government long to strike back with trumped-up charges, accusing Ressa and Rappler of everything from tax evasion to cyber-libel. The author now potentially faces years in prison because of the cumulative charges, although some were dropped earlier this month. Among the outstanding ones, she is currently appealing one guilty conviction, taking it all the way to the country’s supreme court. That decision is due at any time – she may well be a political prisoner by the time you’re reading this.

Ressa was born in Manila in 1963, and she traces her childhood in the Philippines and her jarring move to the United States, aged ten, recounting her confusion and struggle as an immigrant. Though she flourished academically, getting into Princeton, her sense of outsider status permeates these pages – not least because it is partly what drives her. “I set myself a twofold challenge: how to understand the world and my place in it, and how to build my confidence while controlling my ego.”

A desire to understand the world soon pulled Ressa back to the Philippines, following her graduation. The country’s People Power revolution of 1986 had recently toppled the kleptocrat Ferdinand Marcos, who had siphoned off billions of dollars from taxpayer coffers. Ressa recounts those heady days when so many young Filipinos like her pitched in to reimagine a better society and a new democratic path.

She became a reporter, working at a local broadcaster before joining CNN, then in its upstart days and dubbed by industry insiders “Chicken Noodle News” on account of its low budget. It was the world’s first twenty-four-hour news channel and it would revolutionize the way we consume journalism, providing viewers with front-row seats for events such as the Tiananmen Square crackdown and the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. In Southeast Asia Ressa covered the Philippines’ transition to democracy and travelled beyond Manila to report on President Suharto’s Indonesia and Mahathir Mohamad’s Malaysia, as both countries rose up against strongman rule. At that stage Ressa was a rare female Asian face on American television, and she paved the way for many others to follow in her footsteps.

She confesses that, during those early years, that same feeling of self-doubt would creep in. It was also the period when she came to terms with her sexuality – Ressa is gay. “I made the choice to learn.” She adds: “It was more than that – I learned to trust: to drop my shields and be vulnerable. I have rarely been disappointed when I do”. Her book is peppered with such philosophical reflections from a life well-pursued. In many ways, How to Stand Up to a Dictator ought to be titled “How to Be A Good Person”. The best tools for fighting regimes, the author argues, are honesty and integrity. “You live your way into it because the sum of all your choices brings you to that point.”

The last time the Nobel committee had awarded the peace prize to a working journalist was in 1935, to Carl von Ossietzky, who died in custody in Nazi Germany. Ressa believes we are in “a similar historical moment” today. In the Philippines Duterte’s leadership has given way to the remarkable return of a Marcos: President Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. won in a landslide last year. His success has depended on revisionist history – a scrubbing of his family’s past in a well-financed online information campaign geared towards Gen Z voters who never witnessed People Power. Ressa connects the rise of Duterte and Bongbong to those of strongmen elsewhere, from Donald Trump to Jair Bolsonaro. All came to power by inciting mistrust and division, and spreading falsehoods – and largely by doing so online.

Ressa spends time laying out withering evidence against social networks for their contribution to the decline of democracy in the Philippines and beyond. The latter half of her book focuses on technology as an agent of global chaos, a pivot away from her tone of memoir, though she takes care to show how the early decades of her life helped to prepare her for her current crusade. Once she covered global terrorist networks, tracking al-Qaeda in Southeast Asia. This, she argues, now has its corollary in the political radicalization to be found online. She charts the rise of Duterte via online influence campaigns and shows how, repeatedly, what happens in the Philippines serves as a harbinger for the rest of us. With some of the world’s most addicted internet users and with 97 per cent of those online using Facebook, lies spread quickly. Her newsroom team is in a state of perpetual whack-a-mole, chasing after and combating misinformation. “By the time the lie is debunked, those who believe it often refuse to change their views”, she says. “I believe that Facebook represents one of the gravest threats to democracies around the world, and I am amazed that we have allowed our freedoms to be taken away by technology companies’ greed for growth and revenues.”

Her book paints an overwhelmingly discouraging picture, but it is also a call to action. Ever the optimist, she observes that with destruction comes opportunity. “Now we have to decide what we want to create.” How to Stand Up to a Dictator urges readers to join the fight against global illiberalism. Maria Ressa makes clear that it will take not just brave individuals, but a mass movement: “scale, impact, deterrence”. The forces of progressivism have prevailed in the past and can prevail again.

[orionshounds]

showing shadow's life on the ark was such a good fucking idea. sure they're just little moments, but they've given me an even deeper appreciation for his character

I've ALWAYS wanted to see more of maria and this is exactly why. seeing how she and shadow were on the ark makes her death less of a plot point in shadow's past and more of a proper tragedy

there's something about seeing shadow be so open, to hear him admit to insecurities he's having.....it makes seeing how he acts now almost miserable. because now, we know how much of himself he's closed off to others, how much tighter he's holding onto his emotions. to me his character no longer feels like a lone-wolf hero, he feels alone

we always knew she was his purpose....now we can see she was his whole fucking world. maria never struggled with who she was (this ugly heartless creature...i'm really no different than this thing), and she had a place she was going to eventually return to (I was created here, I don't know if there's a place for me on earth), shadow only ever had her

and now, we know her. we know just how kind she was, how she looked out for shadow just as much as he looked out for her. how, while she was a bright spot in shadow's gloom, she never shied away from talking about the harder parts of their lives. and now that we know her, I feel her loss deeply instead of a vague "oh, that's sad"

shadow's side looks so empty without maria there.

[boopshoops]

C'mon now, we don't HAVE to stick to one set genre. Music is about self expression!~ ...Though I wouldn't be against one-upping some competition.

Yuu Shi is strutting on down to debut as a vocalist and backup dancer for GLOWCHAIN! With eccentric flare and powerful vocals, she's here to push the boundaries of EDM and pop to new heights. After all, if it isn't experimental, it isn't her.

Part 2

Ragu Music Week is a fanevent by @raguiras!!! :D

Set to home screen: Mic check, one two!~

Groovification: ???

Home transition 1: Day three of asking Allen to let me join Hazard, no such luck as of yet. Is this how Epel feels about Savanaclaw? Maybe a bribe would work...

Home transition 2: Ohh I just love this boa! It's so cute and fluffy! Come here and touch it, it's so soft that I could use it as a pillow.

Home transition 3: No need to worry much about your performances, hon, I'll make sure to outperform you regardless! You can take that as a promise and a threat.

Home transition/Groovification: ???

Tap home 1: You think I'm getting a bit competitive over this? Hmm, Maybe, maybe. Well, this is finally my chance to show off my prowess! I didn't go to performing arts school for nothing.

Tap home 2: I'm able to keep up with Vil fine enough, but after the chaos that was VDC, I'm beginning to feel bad for my other group members... but not bad enough! Let's go again!

Tap home 3: No, no, no- That's not it. Your movements aren't big enough! You need to gesture enough for the whole crowd to see. Remember, the people in the back row want a show too. You need to hold out your arms like so!

Tap home 4: As much as I enjoy an organized, set performance, I much prefer to go with the flow. I want to get the whole audience involved in ways you haven't seen before, you know? Make it feel more authentic? It'll leave a lasting impression of me in their minds!... Oh, and the rest of GLOWCHAIN, of course.

Tap home 5: Hahaha! What, am I towering over you in these heels? Should I kneel down, is that what you'd like? What? I'm just teasing!

Tap home/Groovification: ???

Home after login: As much as I love this outfit, I could do with a little less sparkle... When the stage lights hit me and the other members, I can't help but feel like a damn disco ball. What do you think?

ALRIGHT RAMBLING TIME. Yuu shi is having a hard time abandoning her instruments for GLOWCHAIN. Therefore she takes every chance she can to be petty about it and be another headache for vil (sorry bbg). She is very jealous of Hazard/Riff due to this- but she's not letting that stop her from trying to outperform other groups or even vil himself.

As for music- I did a lot of research into KPOP i never had before KJGDSBKGJSD and I think mamamoos vibe fits Yuu Shi very well!

also I listened to the inspiration playlist, saw lady gaga, and blacked out

Charli XCX fits her more experimental style too- its her way of pushing the boundaries of the genre

KIMPETRASKIMPETRASKIMPETRAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for dancing- ive had Royal Family brain rot lately. THEY ARE SO TALENTED AAAAAAAAAAAAA. Theyre flowy, energetic, fast paced moves fit yuu shi very well imo!!! Though she would definitely need a lot more practiced to be as organized as them sob. 3:25 in particular drives me insane:

OK RAMBLING OVER TAG TIME

@lowcallyfruity @skriblee-ksk @kitwasnothere @cecilebutcher @justm3di0cr3

@thehollowwriter @distant-velleity @the-trinket-witch @techno-danger @scint1llat3

@beneathsakurashade @twsted-canvas @qsoap @prince-kallisto

[jolalibrary]

v. if you cling on, i will too

joel miller x f!reader | chapter five of honey stained hands

chapter summary: things take time to heal, but will you be the same you when you do?

wordcount: 3.5k warnings: typical canon-angst/grief. angst. injury/comfort recovery. joel calls reader honey (because she bakes). smutty? this pair are together but won't admit it. mentions of joels attempt on himself but minimal, lots of healing angst. but it's me so the ending is... nice. an: we should all thank je te laisserai des mots for the final chapter to this series! and also @thetriumphantpanda who i said "hey, can i ask a favour" and then dumped this on her without her prior knowledge.

The grip of winter slowly loosens, the world beginning to thaw as your wounds heal.

Green begins protruding where there had only been white, shooting up hope, a silent promise of renewal etched into every bud and leaf.

Joel supposes the promise came true.

By the time the first flowers emerge in a riot of colours, their vibrant hues a stark contrast against the lingering remnants of frost, he’d asked if you wished to move in. To have your things more officially with his. Less a cluster of things you’d “take back the next time you do” and more a permanent place for them to collect.

Saves you havin’ to walk back and forth.

Joel is thankful you smiled at the kitchen table and said yes.

Because it had been convenient, easy, to have you here with him when the two of you had arrived back. When your wounds were scarlet and tacky, bruises convulsing and growing under your skin until it made you hiss and whine at each movement. Then, there were the bones you feigned weren’t broken, in the same way you pretended your soul wasn’t fragmented.

Then, there was the simple fact you could barely dismount from your horse as a worried crowd approached, news of your missing nature now resolved.

You clung to him as you shied away from questionable eyes and paused glances. Horror sketched into the faces, blanketing over earlier panic—faces that had only shown you prior kindness. Because the monster you kept at bay until you were outside of the walls, was tired, depleted and very much on parade as Joel helped you down from the horse and the others, who had come to help retrieve them both, stood back to let the audience gawk.

If it stung, you never showed it. Holding him tight, gripping. Using all of your left strength to remain upright and desperately rooted to him.

You are stubborn in that way, and in the way you tipped up your chin, daring them to see what had been inflicted for the sake of their survival.

Good girl he had almost whispered into your ear.

He saved whispering that for over a week when you’d clung different to him, when your eye was no longer swollen shut and you begged to feel him—feel something other than hands that weren’t his.

Those two words ran from his tongue like they’d been swallowed back for too long. Pressing to your skin wherever possible, attempting to heal what he couldn’t understand, see or feel.

Things flower in the spring. The sun rises and lingers for longer before darkness crests over the world briefly.

Flowers shift towards the sunlight, laughter runs along the streets; coats are hidden away, with thinner layers covering bodies and trade shifts from boots to things that are easier to enjoy the warmer weather in.

You don’t bloom though.

Something altered in you, forever cracked. A thing that kept you from sleeping and dreaming when your wounds looked angry and raw; the cracks not healing, even incorrectly, when your skin stitched itself together.

It doesn’t ease when you stop hissing as you descend the stairs, when you’re able to walk for longer than a minute before pausing for a break. It only appears to lessen when you visit the bees. You avoid the other animals, though. Weighing it up, acknowledging with your head bowed that the strength isn’t there. Apologising in heavy whispers to Maria, to yourself, to the air and the cold and the breeze.

He waits for you to bake, to begin rolling things in a bowl and allowing the house to smell like yours used to. It doesn’t come. Not even when he returns from patrol and finds you in a similar state to when he left you.

Your monster is more than wounded, so close to dead that he struggles to work out how to heal it.

Joel doesn’t ask, and you don’t tell.

He could assume, formulate a story; he could create the pieces of the puzzle that were missing.

Instead, he leaves it alone. Rather wishing to live with the unknown than what he feels he’d have to pry from your clenched fists.

“You tried talkin’ to her brother?”

“Nothin’ to talk about.”

Because Tommy doesn’t know that the forest and cabin know all the secrets, the rest withered and shaved down inside of you. Doesn’t understand what it is that remains in a person who temporarily hangs between the living and the dead.

The only time he heard you reference it, what happened out there, was when he overheard you with Ellie. Honey-yellow light splayed across the landing, his feet pausing near the creakier floorboards as Ellie’s voice rang out in the quiet, in the heavy air that was desperate to splinter or slither away.

“You survived.”

He likes to imagine your hand sliding into hers, that you nodded, before you realised the meaning of the girl’s words. Maybe your head snapped up, stared into her younger eyes and hunted for the thing that neither of them should have had to suffer through.

“We both did, Ellie,” he heard you say, and his hand goes to the wall for leverage, for stability. “We survived… because we’re stronger than them.”

Then, he breathes out. A heavy one, a puff. An exclamation that loosens the knot around his heart—because it’s that or let the tears burn his eyes. Hand on the wall of the place that now feels home, steadying himself on the stairs that the two of you climb each night before you slide into the bed you now call yours.

Before you call him yours, mouth wrapping around the head of him, taking more of him than he can wrap his head around down your throat. M-i-n-e you stain against his cock, swirl it with your tongue until pulls you from him, burying the same word inside of you, making you arch as the word shifts into something else.

Us.

In the summer, you laugh.

A sound you’ve left escape a handful of times, but nothing like this. Head thrown back, neck elongated—eyes shimmering with mischief and sarcasm and all the other things he noticed in you.

He wonders if you’re better. If things are better.

Ellie has made friends, informs him over breakfast that she’ll be here, there or anywhere, and he just hides a smile behind his mug. Nods, agrees. Asks what time he’ll expect her as he internally grumbles about teenagers. Then, you descend the stairs, half-dressed in you and half-dressed in him, a picture, a sight for the sorest of eyes.

Your kisses have grown softer in the day, than just at night—almost reminiscent of the ones he received before you left that day.

“You still like shortbread, Miller?”

He snorts, elbow on the table that needs tightening, watching you fold your arms—cockiness sewn into your mannerism, in the way you sit. “That what we callin’ between your legs, honey.”

“After last night, y’can call her whatever you goddamn please.”

He snorts, briefly. Instead choosing to hear the lilt of your laugh, watching as it paints sunshine around the room. As it trickles out and flutters, before chair legs scream against floorboards and you’re by his side, palm on his jaw, on the wiry hair that grows in odd ways and leaves patches that never fill.

“Can you walk with me to see the animals?”

He does.

A gut instinct he ignores as your fingers slot themselves in his, tight, holding him as you don’t ask for a breather, don’t sound ragged or out of breath. Only letting go where you near the pen, when your voice becomes that high-pitched tone he remembers briefly—akin to a parent speaking to a baby.

Joel recognises it before you do. Counts, studies—looks for the familiar pattern on the one sheep that sticks out like a sore thumb. He swallows, dread filling his chest, making his stomach bubble and knot.

You look at him.

Sadness blended with hysteria, alarm. Body over the fence, running with awkwardness from healing wrong, until you slow at the side of the place where the animals sleep.

Roscoe on his side, cold, still. Gone.

His heart, whatever remains left of it, breaks when he sees you go to your knees. Tentative shaky hand brushing over sheepskin, before your body rocks, tremors, and you burst.

It’s more than mourning an animal that you’ve cared for. It’s more than mourning itself.

So, he steps back and stands on the other side of the barn door as he listens to the sobs, the cries, the wails and incoherent ramblings. All things that remind him of a loss he never sits too much with. A loss that made a barrel press to his forehead and made him feel like a hole had been left in him forever—one in his chest, not even close to where he’d tried to pull the trigger.

He wonders if you’ll laugh again.

Joel also worries he’s lost you again.

The sun is setting when he returns from patrol, the air sweet when he opens the door—it creaks, protesting against him, and he wonders, briefly if he’s entered the wrong place.

His boots thudding, coat hanging—ache blooming behind his bones.

But it’s all righted when he sees a mixing bowl, egg shells and a pot of honey. In the mess, a plate. Stacked high, and then you.

Different from the person who used to bake in your kitchen, but also different from the person he’d left this morning, tangled in sheets. The one who looked lost, and now appears more found than he’s known in months.

“Hello, stranger.”

Even the sound of you is familiar. That tone, all flirtatious and confident, parcelled in someone who grins as he moves closer.

“Ellie’s out—she stole one, though. So, she’s eaten.”

He snorts. “Just us then?”

Nodding, undoing your apron, sliding it from over your head as you fold it onto his kitchen counter and he keeps approaching. Hand scratching at his patchy beard, watching as you tilt your head, and let your lips slide into your cheek.

You’re back, here—existing.

It’s different, the attraction that thrums in his bones. It had begun as a need, primal, unexplainable, before it shifted, changed, and became something foreign yet oddly familiar, and now it was just desire, longing.

And you kiss him hard as though acknowledging it. Pressing yourself as firmly as you can, smothering yourself to him as though attempting to merge with him. Your tongue licking behind his teeth as you moan, as you equally long, lust and need.

You trail him with your palms, across his chest, shoulders and neck. Trailing them down his back, kneading out aches you haven’t heard him complain about yet, before you’re palming him over his jeans, whimpering at the feel of him hard and desperate.

“Like how you want me, Miller.”

“Like how you take me, honey,” he groans, runs his nose along your neck, licks at your skin—tasting the sweat of your labour having mixed with the sweetness of the air.

It isn’t all the time like he wishes. Tiredness and age played a factor, but right now—like this, a reminder of a memory, he feels anew. Younger. More capable. Roughly shifting you until it’s you pressed against a counter, until he’s pawing at your clothes until he can admire, feel smooth skin with his worn, calloused hands.

“Missed you.”

It leaves his mouth before he can stop it.

Because you’ve been here. But not like this. It is far too honest for what the two of you are technically, but not quite what the two of you have become.

Thankful you grasp his cheek and pull his mouth to yours, but he swears he tastes your reply before he earns it. Before his hand slides inside the band of your cotton panties and makes you hiss against his teeth, slick coating his fingers. An urge to drive you to the edge, to have you pleading, to have you call him Joel and not Miller, to have you seeing white and erode your pain from your body and fill it only with bliss.

He’s a mess, and you’ve barely touched him. The sight of you, unhinged, wild and free. Head thrown back as his thumb swirls circles on your hardening nerves, as your pussy tightens around the fingers he has buried in it. As you moan, as you plea, as you cry and whine for him, almost needing to command you to come so he can sheath his cock in you and feel you.

But, then you surprise him.

As you always fucking do.

“Missed you too,” you whimper, hips grinding against his hand—teetering in the land where you find it hard to shy away and can only emit honesty.

Your eyes, the deepest valley of affection, so much he almost feels he must look away. Undeserving of it. A thing he finds on the tip of his tongue before you call him Joel, before you moan for him.

“Y’perfect, you know that? All o’you,” he confesses, buries it into your ear. “Your tight pussy, your anger, your stubbornness—”

“—Fuck, Joel—”

“Can’t be without you. Not this version. Need you too much—like I need y’to come. Can you come for me, honey? Make a mess of my hand, let me lick you clean—”

“Shit, m’close.”

He knows. Your jaw clenched, body rigid—eyes creased closed as your hips grind slower but deeper, more intense, until they lose rhythm and you snap. In a completely different way than you did all those months ago.

Because this time, he thinks you’ve snapped back into place.

Because when your eyes open, he doesn’t greet a pair that he doesn’t know, but a pair he knows intimately. It’s why he pants, and loses his breath—that, and the fact you grab his hand from between your thighs and bring it to your lips, tasting yourself, licking yourself clean from him.

“Get upstairs, Miller.”

His brow arches, mouth clamping shut. A fire building in his chest, his other hand flexing at his side, wanting to slap it to your ass and ask you to repeat yourself.

But, you straighten your spine, look him dead in the eye. “Wanna ride you, Joel.”

Before autumn comes—before leaves change and the Jackson is shadowed by earlier nights and later mornings. When it looks close to the misery and horror that lives outside of the walls. Joel is on his knees.

Tools close to his fingers, red toolbox to the side.

Itching, necessarily torturing himself by fixing things that don’t need fixing, just to busy his hands, keep his mind on something, to not worry, to not hate, to not be angry.

“She’s going to be alright.”

Joel almost snorts, but buries it under a cough. Twists the bolt into the wood, checking the panel with a rough tug as Ellie shifts position, as she comes to a place he can’t avoid not glancing at her. Now scowling and making her be distant with him even more than she already is.

Because his mind is a storm, all concocted with worry he doesn’t what to do with, with fear he hasn’t been able to displace. Each horrid thought is thunderous, like a crack in the silence as the house creaks and he struggles to keep himself from splintering. Twisted up, insides knotted, every distant shout or laugh setting his already tired heart racing—forcing it to pound against his ribs like a prisoner desperate to escape.

He’s not the same man he was before. Not sure if he’d have the strength to keep you safe in the way you’d not needed then, but could now.

It’s why he keeps picturing you, darkness closing in, shadows formed with malicious intent attempting to take you. It makes his hands shake, as he grips the tool tighter, almost as if by holding onto something solid he can anchor his thoughts. Images of your last injury flashed in his mind—the blood, the pain, the helplessness he felt.

How angelically gothic you looked surrounded by snow. How he can still taste the metallic tang in the air if he thinks about it too much

“She’s not wrong,” a voice says.

One that forces his head up, one that makes him double-take.

You standing, with no scratch, no markings. Not a figment of his imagination, but something real from the shadows that stretch from your legs across the ground. Not an illusion as Ellie throws herself at you, all arms and cheerful glee.

Real, real, real, as you step up the porch, as you crouch down and grumble at the ache in your bones, and kiss his mouth. Warm, and all very you.

“You been worryin’ about me, Miller?”

He chews his tongue, drops his gaze before he flicks it back up. “No.”

You smirk, devious, but yet still so sweet. “Good.”

Hand still caressing his skin, thumb brushing over the patch you comment looks like a heart—one you brought up some weeks back, asking if it’s for you, if it doesn’t grow just for you. Smirking, laughing, leg bent over his hip as you continue to tease. Is this how you tell me you love me, by shaving a heart, Miller? And, just for me, a heart all of my own?

“You fancy getting a drink with me tonight?”

Frowning, he lowers the tool back to the floor. “Y’wanna go out?”

“With you? Yeah.”

Swallowing, he glances over your shoulder to see Ellie smirking, looking more pleased than he’s ever known her. Swaying, folded arms as she begins to nod at him, mouthing say yes, say yes.

“Ellie wants to go to Dina’s,” you add, as though spotting where his gaze has gone. “And, I realised something.”

He hums as you lower to your knees in front of him, as you cup his cheek and tug his eyes back to you.

“We never watched that VHS, either. Did we?”

Clearing his throat, hand coming to rest on your wrist, thumb drawing a shape against it. “No. We didn’t.”

Smiling, face lighting up—shimmering. Exactly like that time you had brought him shortbread in a tin. “Y’wanna go on a date with me, Joel? Drink and a movie.”

Glancing at Ellie, and then back to you. Spreading his hand from your wrist up to the back of your hand, it dwarfing yours against his cheek, staring into your eyes—so sure he sees your monster smiling at him too.

“Let me clean up. You… Y’deserve that.”

“Alright,” you reply.

“What, no arguin’?”

Shrugging, dropping your hand as you sigh. “I know when to pick my arguments with my man.”

He tries not to show how that warms him, the words replaying over and over. It makes his chest tighten in a way he doesn’t hate. My man. A phrase that carries a weight, an intimacy he's not accustomed to out here, only ever when he’s buried inside of you and your skin is glistening with sweat, him and his spend.

He swallows hard, masking the fluttering in his chest, concealing the way his breath catches ever so slightly. A vulnerability in those words—how you’ve exposed yourself. Changed your tune from no names to this. A soft promise he’s struggling to wrap his head around. He knows you see it, that flicker of something unguarded in his eyes.

His hand balls into a fist, his thumb sliding over his fingers, levelling himself as the emotions surge, unbidden and uncontrollable. Feeling exposed, as though you’ve peeled back the layers of his defences with a single phrase, laid bare the raw, tender part of him he thought long buried.

But he doesn’t hate it. Not the strange comfort in being wanted or seen, even less so by you. How it makes him want to run and stay all at once. He suspects you know the turmoil you’ve stirred, having done so to yourself with the confession.

And somehow, knowing that helps him swallow it, accept it, finding it true.

“Tha’ make you mine, then?”

Shrugging, you roll your lips, a coy, more nervous smile there. “If you want.”

If he wants, he snorts.

Three words he repeats hours later, when he’s stripping you bare, lying you down on the bed that belongs to you as much as him.

“If I want?” he repeats, your lips curling into a smirk.

Before he’s dipping his mouth between your thighs, writing with his tongue how he's wanted that for months now, maybe even since the very beginning.

an: it may have taken me a long time, but, i hope in some way it was worth it. thank you for reading! eeeep I finished a joel 😂

-

npts for those who loved them the whole time (sorry if you didn’t want this tag, forgive meeee):

@swiftispunk @missladym1981 @ptime1999 @survivingandenduring @pimosworld

@sawymredfox @thelightsandtheroses

[mariaace]

Jouno dating headcanons

A/n:why i decided to write this? No idea, but i hope you enjoy!!

Warnings:none Type:headcanons Genre:fluff

Pairing:Jouno Anime:BSD

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So i feel like Jouno is one of the hardest people to date in bsd

Yeah Maria, no shi- NO👺 listen yes, he is sadistic and everything (🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩)

BUT he also have really high sensory issues, because of the fact that he is blind. He is really sensitive to touch and it can easily overwhelm him. Temperature of water, how much time you touch him, where you touch him it really is overwhelming for him, but you don't mind it, he's your boyfriend after all

He is sadistic though. Can't deny it. The guy is just the way he is 💜

Ahem... anyways if y'all think you can fix him ✨no✨ you probably can't even fix your sleeping schedule and you think you can fix him? No bbg

You. Aren't. Meeting. Tecchou. If you aren't working in the Hunting Dogs (or some other organisation) you ain't meeting him. (Maybe if you insist)

He acts annoyed at every little thing you do (spoiler alert-he isn't) like you could just be standing there and he'd be like "could breathe quieter?" 👁️👄👁️

No but seriously especially in public someone would think that he hates you when they see you two

I feel like he makes really good tea. Why? I don't know. It's just how i feel it-black, with sugar, with milk, you name it

Casually steal his uniform hat and then run away 🤭 boy will be pissed, but an absolute simp at the same time

Even though he is overwhelmed by touch i CAN and i will confirm that he does need your touch sometimes to calm himself down, just don't be too sharp with your moves please🙏🏻

Diy his red ends 😚😚 like i don't know who did it for him before you came into his life, but you surely were the one doing it after that

He is the type a guy to just be like "Can you explain where the fuck were you for the rest of my life??? Like couldn't you come in it earlier?!?!"

He loves when you read out loud to him, but would never ask you to do it, because his pride is bigger than his height.

Would say the most insulting thing ever and then turn it into a compliment 😂 like he has that ability

He surely has know memorized your scent so he knows when you are nearby. Like he can smell you (that sounds so weird lmao)

He loves to just lay his head in your lap and ramble for hours about his day at work. It makes him less annoyed

©mariaace 2024 please don't copy, steal, repost or translate my work!

Reblogs are highly appreciated!

[mongo-the-liensis]

[astraule]

"I'm Yours Now"

Pairing: Jasper x Reader Song: Dreaming of You - Cigarettes After Sex TW: Cursing and hinting to sex. Y/N: She/ Her vampire reader, was a part of the Mexican coven but was able to flee. Gift: Power to emit an irresistible singing that lures anyone who hears it to the user. Word Count: 2.7 K Summary: The Cullens meet you, a mysterious vampire who needs Jasper's help to get away from Maria. Worried about his family, Jasper agrees to protect you. Shopping together, you finally open up about your fears regarding acceptance. Your day turns when Maria accuses Jasper of theft, resulting in a tense stand-off. You confront Maria and decide to leave with Jasper for safety. In his room, you confess to being jealous of him with Maria, and Jasper calms you by letting you know he is yours now, making it an intense scene between you.

Jasper POV: (Cullen House Living Room)

Bella turned to Edward, an interested expression on her face. "You're saying she actually did come to visit at least once?" she asked, her legs sprawled across his lap. I looked up from my book as I sat on the couch and said, "Maria is really self-centered; she tends to act on impulse without thinking things through.”

"I made it clear to her that she should not come back here, but, quite frankly, I would not be surprised to see her pop up again." I rolled my eyes, reflecting on some of the happenings from the Southern wars.

Bella asked, her interest awakened. "Is there anyone from your old coven that you miss?" I was about to say, "Peter and Charlotte were great friends back then, and we still keep in touch. But there's one vampire I haven't seen since those days-" when Bella cut me off with a wide-eyed look of excitement. "Seriously?! Who is it?

This made me chuckle and shake my head. "I can't say a lot, but her gift was all in her voice. She had this astonishing ability to draw people in when she sang." Bella was looking interested, but I could tell she wanted more and would have asked more if suddenly there wasn't some noise outside that distracted us.

"Who are you?" Rosalie's voice carried as Bella, Edward, and I rushed out to join the rest of our family, stirred by the presence of a silent stranger. Recognition hit me like a bolt as soon as she was about to speak, sending me leaping forward and covering her mouth. "What are you doing here?" I questioned, looking down at Y/N, her wide, red eyes gazing up at me.

(Living Room)

Y/N started speaking, her voice barely above a whisper, "Peter told me you'd be here, said you might be able to help me." Even with our super-sensitive vampiric hearing, the sound came across barely audible. Alice gave me a bewildered look. "Peter? Your friend? " she asked. I faced Y/N again, trying to confirm my suspicions. "You’re sure Maria didn’t send you?" She shook her head and whispered, "No, it was Peter. You can ask him if you like; he said you could help me get away from Maria.”

"Help you? You do realize that if Maria finds out you're here, it puts my entire family in danger," I said, crossing my arms. She hesitated, clearly considering how much to say, before finally responding, "I’ve been in danger since the moment I decided to come looking for you."

"You can't be thinking about this seriously," Rosalie said, her eyes on me. "This decision concerns the whole family." Carlisle seconded, his eyes on Y/N, who stared back at him with an assurance that made him seem uneasy. "I'm just passing through; I don't mean to cause any trouble on your territory," Y/N said.

"Carlisle, I have known this vampire for years, and she has never crossed the line," I said, but Emmett cut in. "No offense, dude, but do you remember the mess you made when you first came to this family?" "I get that, and appreciate it, really. It's exactly why I'll be keeping a very close eye on her until we can dispose of her safely," I said.

"I have no problem with her roaming free as long as we look out for her." Bella seconded my opinion; her bright red eyes shining when she looked at Y/N. "Bella, this vampire is not a newborn as you are. Her eyes are red because of human blood consumption, and whatever mess she causes, it will be because of her decision and not because of lack of self-control," Edward said.

Emmett said, "And on top of that, if she wants to use that gift of hers against us or anyone else, we're fucked." Y/N responded, "That’s why I speak softly, I have never really had the opportunity to use my voice.”

"Let's go hunting while we figure things out; we must be starving, after all." Carlisle finally spoke up, but then Rosalie chimed in, "Someone needs to keep an eye on the threat," looking at Y/N, who didn't look fazed at all. "I can stick around to watch her; just make sure to bring me something to drink," I offered.

(Jasper’s Room)

"Your room is nice. We never had rooms back in the coven. You remember when we used to lie around in packs?" Y/N asked softly, perched in my chair with her legs crossed. I shook my head, replying, "That was pointless; we never felt cold, never needed sleep." I looked at the books on my shelf.

"I'm sorry to burst into your peaceful life like this. Maria's completely lost her mind; she's no longer able to lead. Honestly, she never could. You were always the one making the tough decisions; you were the real leader-" Y/N began, but I cut her off. "Those were bad decisions I made, and since then, I have grown.”

"You have a great life here, just like I did when I was human." She whispered once more, "In a place where I could really live, express myself, scream, talk, and sing. But now, my voice feels like a burden; we've all been afflicted by Maria's curse.”

After a moment of silence, Y/N finally broke the silence, while I went to my shelf, pulled out a book, and sat down in an empty chair next to her. "Peter mentioned that you drink animal blood. I've been trying to get the hang of it to make my stay in your territory smoother as I traveled here. I've had a few mishaps, but don't worry, none of them happened in your area."

"Accidents happen to all of us, and in our own way, each of us has tasted human blood. All of us but Rosalie and Bella, that is. Their self-control is remarkable - the best I've ever seen." I said, not looking up from my book, just keeping my eyes on its pages.

Y/N whispered, "Lucky." The silence that followed lasted long minutes. "I can practically hear your desire to know more, Y/N. Ask your questions," I said, continuing to read my book, never taking my eyes from it. "What's the newborn for? You aren't so tender with them." She finally asked. "Bella? She’s my brother Edward's mate. To be frank, better a newborn than a human, having to constantly battle the instinct of killing her.”

"You met her while she was human and didn't kill her?" Y/N's voice rose. "You really are amazing-" she said, her voice slowly becoming quieter now. This made me look up from my book and back to her. "There were so many times I wanted to, yet I could never do that to my brother," I said.

"Oh yeah, your family. I'm aware you have a special ability; do any of your relatives share a gift?" Y/N asked as she playfully threw her legs over the arm of the chair. "Alice has the ability to see the future, Edward can read minds, and Bella’s a shield." I was surprised at how much was pouring out.

I decided it was time to pause the interrogation. At the sound of the creaking front door, announcing my family's return, I shut my book. "Jasper, we've come to an agreement," Carlisle's voice sounded throughout the house.

(Dining Table)

"Why do you need a dining table? We don't eat," Y/N asked over her shoulder. "We have to fit in," Edward said for the group. "Very well, let's begin," Carlisle said. "Y/N will stay with us for the time being. If she can prove not to be an issue, we can revisit the topic of an extended stay. But if she does prove to be a problem, we will need to dispose of her before the Volturi comes and kills all of us.”

Y/N didn't look fazed, just nodded in response. "For now, she'll be under your care, Jasper. Make sure to share all your knowledge with her," Carlisle instructed. I let out a sigh in my head. "Fantastic," I thought, knowing Y/N's presence brought an uncomfortable feeling in me.

Alice beamed. "I bet you don't have too much with you! We should hit the shops once you have your thirst under control, the four of us." She hooked a companionable arm through Rosalie-who looked less than enthusiastic about being in Y/N's company-and Bella-who didn't look all that enthused by the prospect of shopping. "Shopping?" Y/N murmured, head cocked in interest.

(3 Months Later, Jasper’s Room)

Y/N tugged at my arm in urgency, her voice no higher than a whisper. "Come on, I couldn't wait to show you my new clothes!" she exclaimed, almost losing balance with the mountain of bags she juggled in the other hand. If human, I was sure that by now her blood flow would be restricted.

"Alright, let me see," I said, lowering myself into my chair. Just as I was about to relax, Y/N started stripping right in front of me, and I jumped up from my seat, tossing a blanket over her. "The bathroom is just over there," I said, my hand gesturing in that direction. Luckily, I was a vampire; otherwise, my cheeks would have been bright red.

Y/N was slowly finding her place in our lives, her eyes turning to the warm honey gold color that we all shared. But she had a lot to learn yet; Maria's strict rules had her feeling quite unhuman, even for a vampire.

A few minutes later, Y/N emerged from the bathroom, in a red top and jean skirt. "What do you think of this one? Rosalie helped me pick it out," she asked, eyes sparkling with excitement. I nodded in appreciation, responding, "It's absolutely gorgeous." Just then, she darted back into the bathroom, probably to show me yet another outfit.

Within less than five minutes, she came out of the bathroom again, this time in a black top and checkered skirt, then twirled around to ask, "How about this one? Alice chose it." I couldn't help but laugh as I said, "You really do look like Alice in that outfit." That made me wonder who taught her that spinning thing when showing off your clothes.

"You're going to love this next one," she said, disappearing into the bathroom. A minute later, she reemerged in a dark red shirt and jeans. "Let me guess, Bella picked that out for you?" I asked, and she nodded. "You definitely look like her, but what do you like?" I asked, and she thought about it for a second. Finally, she said, "Will you take me shopping tomorrow?

(Next Day, Living Room)

“I'll be out shopping with Y/N today, so just give me a call if anything comes up," I said to my family, who were all sitting around the TV. Just as I finished saying that, Rosalie stood up from the couch, beating Emmett to it. "Jasper, we need to talk."

Emmett huffed in annoyance, "Rose, come on. We've already talked about this." I interrupted, crossing my arms, "No, let her speak. I want to know what she's going to say." When Rosalie began to pipe up, she said, "This family is complete. Y/N petitioned to come through, not to join."

“I've enjoyed having her here," Bella said. Alice nodded in agreement. Edward spoke up, "For once, I think I might be willing to agree with Rosalie. The last time you all went out of the house, I was the only one who stayed behind with her. I found her to be softly singing in the dark of your room, Jasper."

"She loves to sing, but she has to find ways to do it without activating her abilities." I looked at Edward for a moment before turning my gaze to the soft sounds coming from the stairs, where Y/N stood, wearing the same serene expression she had on her first day here. "I let Y/N stay as long as she abides by the rules; our family is made up of various vampires, Rose," Carlisle clarified.

"Hey, let's continue this conversation when I get back," I said, holding the front door open for Y/N to step outside.

Y/N POV: (Port Angeles)

“Do they not like me?” I asked, looking over at Jasper as we walked together. “What a silly question, of course they-” Jasper started to say, but I cut him off. “It just feels like they don’t like me,” I said.

A brief moment of silence hung in the air before I finally spoke. "I really like them. Emmett has such a great sense of humor; he always knows how to make me laugh. Edward is incredibly smart, and I find myself learning new things from him all the time. Carlisle is a gentle and kind vampire, just like Esme, and they both remind me of my parents. Alice is so sweet; I feel at ease sharing anything with her. Bella has a calming presence, and the quiet moments we share are never awkward. Rosalie is stunningly beautiful, and even though she doesn’t seem to like me much, I still think very highly of her."

"They really do like you. It's just that you're new, and new things can feel a bit overwhelming because we don't know what to expect. They just need some time to adjust to you, just like I have," Jasper said, looking into my eyes. "I like you, Jaz," I said with a smile. "I like you too, Y/N. So, how about we go find you some new clothes?" he proposed, and I nodded in agreement.

(Clothing Store)

"Hey Y/N, we've been browsing for an hour now. Is there really nothing here that catches your eye? We could always check out another shop," Jasper suggested, trailing behind me as I wandered through the aisles. "It's just that there are so many options-" I started to explain, but my words were cut short when I collided with someone unexpectedly. "So this is where you've been hiding," a voice I recognized said. Looking up, I was met with the sight of Maria, the vampire I had hoped to avoid.

Maria shot a fierce look at Jasper, her voice dripping with disbelief. “I might have overlooked your leaving, but stealing my most prized possession? That’s just too much.” Jasper retorted, “We don’t owe you anything.” His response only ignited Maria’s fury. “What are you planning to do next, cowboy? You’ve already caused enough trouble.”

"I brought you into this world, and I can just as easily take you out of it," Maria said, her grip on my arm tightening. "I never asked for you to be created! We're leaving now," I shot back, my voice rising above the whispers of the crowd around us.

(Jasper’s Room)

Jasper shook his head as he closed the door, casting a glance at me on his bed. “She’s out of her mind for coming back here.” I sighed, feeling the heaviness of the situation. “Once she finds me, it’s all over.” He looked at me with resolve. “I won’t let that happen,” he promised, sitting down next to me.

“Jasper, we used to share a deep friendship, which is why I decided to contact you. I’m not sure if it’s connected to your special talent, but I’ve always felt a sense of security in your presence. I genuinely want to preserve the connection we have.”

“I’ll protect you, Y/N,” Jasper whispered, softly resting my head on his shoulder. “You don’t have to face this alone anymore.”

“Together forever?” I asked, giving him a playful smile. “Absolutely, we’ve tackled so many challenges together,” he replied, laughing as I thought back to the lighter moments from the Southern Wars. “Remember that time Peter almost drained the human we brought for Maria?” I said, making Jasper chuckle. “Thank goodness we stepped in; otherwise, he would have been done for.”

Jasper started, “We had such a great time when Maria wasn’t there.” Before he could continue, I rushed in and hugged him tightly. “I’ve always felt a twinge of jealousy towards her for having you,” I confessed. “If you want me to be yours now, I can be,” he responded.

"Mine, all mine." I said before pushing my lips against his having him gently pull my shirt off.

Emmett POV: (Living Room)

"What in the world is that noise?" Rose asked, plopping down beside me on the couch and giving us both a moment to listen in. "You must be kidding me! First it was Edward and Bella; now it's Jasper and Y/N?”

I struggle so much to write steamy scenes, but I really want to get better for all of you. If anyone has any tips or advice on how to do better, I would so appreciate it!

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite Books I Read in 2023

I read a ton of good novels last year- 36 in all (and uh, 78 manga/graphic novels, but we'll examine that in another post). Here's a link to my Goodreads year in books (the manga is at the beginning, the novels start with Siren Queen) and my storygraph wrap up.  

I reread a ton of Discworld this year, and it's as spectacular as ever. But what about new reads?

Well, here are my favorite books I read in 2023!

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

This is an autobiographical memoir about the abusive relationship the author went through with her ex-girlfriend. It's absolutely gut-wrenching, and at times, achingly beautiful. Machado uses the house she shared with her girlfriend, which she calls the "dream house", as a back drop. It's a place she always wanted and also a place she became trapped in, Machado's language is beautiful as she explores the relationship from different lenses-- The Dream House as Lesbian Cult Classic, the Dream House as Noir, the Dream House as Creature Feature, the Dream House as Stoner Comedy....All facets of the relationship are explored in a way that grips you by the throat and makes you remember everyone who ever tried to suffocate you-- but it also explores the hard work of moving on, of picking up the pieces, of living and embracing tenderness along with hardship.

I especially related to Machado's struggle to talk about abuse between queer lovers because of her fears of giving homophobes more ammunition...and when she says "we deserve to have our wrongdoing represented as much as our heroism, because when we refuse wrongdoing as a possibility for a group of people, we refuse their humanity", I felt that deeply.

This wasn't just one of my favorite books this year, it goes on the list of all-time favorite books. I wish I had this kind of writing style. I'll be returning to this again and again.

Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao

A middle-grade novel about a Chinese-American teen who feels a bit alienated from his heritage, which becomes a bit of an issue once he finds out the First Emperor of China has possessed his A.R. Gaming Headset. Now he needs to close a portal to the underworld with the help of other kids possessed by emporers.

This was a whole lot of fun, and often quite poignant. I was unsure if I could really enjoy middle-grade books as an adult, and this absolutely proves I can. There's a lot of really interesting Chinese history blended with action-packed fantasy, and exploration of the complicated feelings a kid can have about their own heritage . The dynamic between Zachary and Qin Shi Huang was so entertaining with the Emperor being villainous, heroic, charismatic, detestable-- and Zachary realizing how his complicated feelings about him mirror his relationship with his culture at large. There was also a lot of fun with other historical figures, and Xiran's take on Wu Zetian is a joy. (Also, if you like Yu-Gi-Oh!, you'll probably like this, since Xiran says it was one of their influences).

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Rose is young woman who's raised in a fundamentalist Christian household, and she's a devout, obedient daughter. But some weird things are happening. She's seeing a terrifying demon everywhere, insects are coming out of her mouth....and she's possibly having feelings about other girls. What's going on?

Yes, this is by the Chuck Tingle who makes all those Tinglers. But THIS one... will make you tingle with fear! It's a great horror novel! It's skin-crawlingly creepy at times, but also does a great job digging into how fundamentalist dogma harms queer people, and the hypocrisy of such beliefs. The conversion camp aspect is handled tastefully, and overall it was a great spooky read that's also ultimately very affirming, cathartic, and hopeful.

Qualia the Purple by Hisamitsu Ueo

You might go into this thinking it's just a quirky yuri light novel about a schoolgirl and her crush who sees everyone around her as robots (like literally, when she looks at someone she sees a robot instead of a human). But it quickly becomes surreal queer psychological horror steeped in absolutely wild applications of quantum mechanics and thought-provoking time travel.  Some of the quantum mechanics  exposition dumps were a bit much but I deeply enjoyed having my mind cracked open by this book. 

It's one of the most interesting takes of time loop stories I've seen. But it definitely covers a lot of rough subject matter, including a relationship with a serious age gap and extremely messed up relationships, so be cautious if you have triggers.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

This book follows Miri, whose wife goes missing on a deep-sea submarine mission for six months. Miri thought her wife dead, but she miraculously returns one day...but her wife has changed. She's like a stranger. She may have bought the horrors of the sea home with her.

This is a gripping exploration of grief and loss combined with a delicious, slow horror that creeps under your skin. There's excellent Lovecraftian and body horror elements to the novel, but it works very effectively as a metaphor for a loved one going through trauma, and a relationship starting to crumble because everything seems different. A moment that really stuck out to me is when Miri copes with her wife's disappearance by frequenting an online community where women roleplay as wives with husbands missing in space. The way the online drama of the community interacted with her grief was  both funny and heartbreaking. 

This is another example of a book that makes me deeply jealous with its lyrical writing, and another one for the ever-lengthening all time favorites list.

Otherside Picnic Volume 8: Accomplices No More by Iori Miyazawa

The latest entry in a series about two girls exploring an alternate dimension full of creepypasta monsters, while also falling in love with each other. See my other reviews here and here.

This volume has the payoff to a lot of careful character work and relationship building, and it was completely satisfying. In fact, it was...show-stopping. Spectacular.  Incredible. I loved the exploration of how love, sex, and romance are so different for different people and it's impossible to put it in neat boxes. The frank and messy conversation our leads have about their relationship was perfect and so was that absolutely  bonkers, wonderful finale. This is another one for the all times favorite list, and I loved it so much I wrote a extremely long review/recap here. 

Queer Ducks (and Other Animals): The Natural World of Animal Sexuality by Eliot Schrefer

This was a well-researched, well-crafted, easy to read book that explores queerness (mainly homosexuality, bisexuality, trans and genderfluid expressions in animals, and even the question of if and how animals can related to gender) in the animal kingdom. Though it's definitely aimed at teens, I learned a lot from it (who knew female bonobos were such life goals) and it presented its information in a fun way. It included some interesting examinations of how proof of homosexuality and bisexuality in animals was historically suppressed and filtered through homophobic assumptions. If you want to learn a little animal science in an accessible format, definitely check this out.

Night’s Edge by Liz Kerin

The story follows Mia, a woman in her 20's living with her vampire mother. Her whole life revolves around not drawing suspicion towards her Mom. She also has to make sure to feed her Mom some of her blood every night--lest her mother fall back in with her abusive boyfriend and start hunting humans.  But when Mia meets a cute girl, she starts to dream of living her own life...

It was a really interesting use of vampirism as a metaphor for both living with a parent struggling with addiction and having an abusive parent. It's just a well-told, heartwrenching tale that got deep into the character's mindsets. I thought the ending was bit abrupt and rushed, but it did make more sense once I realized this was the first in a duology. It's a fascinating take on vampires, and I'm interested in seeing more.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

This novel follows a middle-aged Muslim female pirate living around the Arabian Peninsula. She's supposed to be in retirement, but wouldn't you know it, she's lured in for one last job! I she rescues a kidnapped girl,  she'll have all the riches she needs to set her family up for life. So Amina begins her adventure of fighting demons and monsters and ex-husbands. But the job might not be all it seems.

This novel is full of all the entertaining swashbuckling action and shenanigans that any pirate story should have. It's a rollicking good time, and feeds my craving for middle aged women going on quests and kicking ass. Amina's journey is a fun, wild ride full of dynamic characters and interesting mythology!

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

Juniper is friends with a successful Chinese-American author, Athena Liu, and has always been deeply jealous of her. When Athena dies in front of her, Juniper decides to steal her manuscript rooted in Chinese history and claim it as her own. But plagiarism might catch up with her...

This is a strong example of a book I thought was really well-done, but one I'm probably never going to read again. The way it depicted Twitter drama is just too accurate and I got anxiety. It did such a good job putting you in Juniper's awful shoes so you can feel the pressure close in along with her. The book's commentary on the insidious racism of the publishing industry was effective, and it made a horrible character's journey fascinating to follow. I was so intrigued yet anxious I had to force myself to finish the last few pages.

Bonus read:

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldtree

A very cute novel about an orc named Viv who decides to retire from the violent life of a bounty hunter and run a coffee shop instead. She ends up getting a lot of assistance from a succubus named Tandri...and my, is that a slow-burn coffee shop romance brewing? This book reminds me a lot of various cozy slice-of-life anime, and it's nice to be getting more of that feeling in book form. I wish there was a little more specific to the fantasy world rather than making it a coffee shop that line up 1 to 1 to a modern day shop, but it was definitely a sweet read.

[gunnrblze]

The Ghost Boys as sexy songs 😏 (not sure if some of these are necessarily sexy lol but they are to moi)

Hesh- Addicted by Saving Abel (this that 00’s older brother music…you know the vibe)

Logan- You by Ari Abdul (idk just listen to this song cause…yum)

Elias- Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey (LISTEN you’ve gotta hear me out I have a vision here. THAT hot older man/daddy vibe. Idk maybe this one’s corny LMAO)

Merrick- Gotta Get Me Some by Nickelback (again, y’all might have to hear me out with the Nickelback lol but this song is hot)

Keegan- Closer by Nine Inch Nails (NIN is very Keegan coded in general but this shi is right up his fine ass alley)

Kick- Hush by The Marias (these sultry/sexy/sly type of songs remind me of him a lot, I think he’d be smoother than butter and this fits)

Rorke- Rock You Like A Hurricane by Scorpions (80s stripper rock…need I say more?)

I got whiplash making this cause these are all very different flavors of sexy lol

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 16 Thoughts: Aave Maria

This was an interesting one. I don't think I loved it but I do think there is a surprising amount to dig into. I also think this is showing more of the form of TMP. A bigger focus on a rogue's gallery and unlike TMA is more more in the thick of it to start with. We're not piecing together an unseen world, we're in the world and getting our bearings.

Spoilers for episode 16 below the cut.

It's really great to see some immediate follow up on Alice's run in with Drowning Victim. I was a little worried it'd be something she pushes down and ignores like everything else in the job. Because she didn't I think there might be a change in her perspective. Previous she's been very uninvested in the specifics of the cases and now she's basically been in one I do wonder if it'll effect her work. We definitely saw more of a reaction from her from this incident than we've ever seen before. So I'm wondering where that will lead her. I'll also be interested to see how this ties back into the Institute. The Drowning Victim is obviously connected but it makes me think Connor Dyer (found in CHBD, see master sheet below) might not be her dead name. I wasn't a fan of the idea of both main protagonists having the same backstory but the way she alluded to the death of her parents here makes me think the Institute might have had something to do with it. Not that I think she knows that but that the narrative placement of it might be laying the groundwork for that connection to be revealed.

For the incident itself I don't have a load to get into I don't think. I thought it was pretty effective in showing Madame E to be kind of a tool but then giving us more and more reason to be sympathetic towards them. Ink5oul's first voiced appearance was remarkably understated too. I was expecting them to feature more here but I think I'm glad they didn't. As I mentioned there is more of a rouge's gallery here and with a couple of really loud characters already it's quite nice to see one more understated than that. They've got a bit of an M.O. forming here too. Part ironic "punishment", part graverobbing plagiarist. DIG. Which does lead me to wonder about how they'll end up kicking the bucket. It feels like a set up waiting for a punchline. The way they give the "clients" what they're after in a twisted sense has a lot of room for interesting stories so I'm interesting to see where that goes. It's also interesting just how similar this was to Daria's incident. Very similar incidents overall but to different ends. What I think is a more interesting concept in those is how it totally differs from the tattoo that showed up in Marked. The tattoo in both of Ink5oul's works have been afflictions on the tattooed but Marked's tattoo was something that affected those that viewed it. Whether that's a consequence of they're plagiarism or a different "school" of tattoo technique remains to be seen.

Also fun fact: from.vision.ruled really is a location in Highgate Cemetery. There is a map app called what3words that is a grid of 3 metre squares over the globe and then each square gets a three word code. It's so you can give a more precise location than something like an address or broad location. So in this case you don't need to say "Meet me outside the Circle of Lebanon in Highgate East" you can say "Meet me at from.vision.ruled" and get a more accurate location. It's great if you want to meet people where there isn't much or any signage, point people towards the entrances to places when it's not obvious from a address, and stuff like that.

Post-incident was really great too. It's lovely to see Lena be so clearly angry and lose her typical collected nature. Not only because it shows she's got range but because it really hammers home just how scary a character like Lady M. is going to be. Gwen not taking her shit for it is also great. I think bringing Lady M. to the OIAR as a power play was pushing it hard but I also think Lena treats Gwen like shit and needs a lesson or two as well. This power struggle they've got going is always captivating to see and I can't wait to see more of it.

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Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet (Now with terminology/theory cheat sheet)

DPHW Theory: 1565 is about where I was expecting this would end up. 1 in Death in an episode where someone died already seems to be a sticking point for people. I personally don't understand that particular framing. Every Power in TMA had a massive body count but only one of them was the Power about death, and not all of them focused on stuff that'd outright kill you. So while a person did die this episode it's not an episode about Death as a concept/theme/subject.

CAT# Theory: CAT1 is very interesting given how the other tattoos have been placed thus far. But I'm going to leave that for the time being. I've got an essay in the works about the current more common CAT# theory. Should be out over the weekend.

R# Theory: B seems about right for this. It's weird and publicised but, ostensibly, medically explainable. So it happened and we can agree it happened but it's just an unfortunate illness in the eyes of most.

Header talk: Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac is interesting in the same way the CAT# is so I'll leave some of that for later. What I do want to talk about in that subsection. Influencer as a subsection is intriguing because it's very unlike Smirke's methodology. That was fairly rigid but Influencer in this context is such a modern term that it implies this methodology is reacting to how things change and express more rapidly, or it's not as old as I think has been implied so far.

[pinkhairswagtourney]

say hello to our 64 niche pink haired characters !!!

after several weeks of deliberation , we've finalized our lineup of characters ! starting on 12 / 17 / 2023 , we'll begin voting to figure out who is the best niche pink haired character of all time !!!

ROUND ONE MATCHUPS

PART ONE - 12 / 17 Kanae Shinjou - Teekyuu VS Misa Maruno - Urahara Koharu Mitsurugi - Argonavis VS Kei Sarukawa - Charisma House Christelle de Sarnez - When the Third Wheel Strikes Back VS Penelope Eckart - Villains Are Destined to Die Jessi Shi - Balala the Fairies VS Riri Hitotsuyanagi - Assault Lily  Kohane Hatoya - Anima Yell! VS Aguri Sakurano - Gamers! Takara Utashiro - Fairy Ranmaru VS Dr. Doom Jazz - Paradise Killer Deana del Rio - Double Decker! Doug & Kirill VS Bianchi Law - Helios Rising Rose - Mysterious Joker VS Misha - Pita-Ten

PART TWO - 12 / 18 Leo Saionji - King of Prism VS Maasa Shirahone - Cute High Earth Defense Club Alinua - Aurora VS Seren Marsh - Serendipity Lovrina - Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness VS Nico - 100% Orange Juice Miyoi Okunoda - Touhou VS Caro Ru Lushe - Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Liza Wight - Professor Layton VS Kiko Kayanuma - Darker than Black Shinobu Inuyose - Dig Delight Direct Drive DJ VS Chihaya Anon - Bandori Chiester 45 - Umineko VS Juna Crawford - Kiseki Kady Grant - The Illuminae Files VS Peri Dubois - Entropic Float

PART THREE - 12 / 19 Claves - Eternal Sonata VS Hiori Hirahara - Blue Reflection Lavinia Asimov - Riordan VS Altea Bellerose - Lovestruck Luna Yumizuki - Cardfight!! Vanguard VS Yayoi Kusakabe - High-Rise Invasion Miyu Sakurada - Dig Delight Direct Drive DJ VS Kaoruko Moeta - Comic Girls Zigfried von Schroeder - Yu-Gi-Oh! VS Sakura Kiyashiki - Assassination Classroom Presea Combatir - Tales of Symphonia VS Tsukumo - Nanbaka Nene Romanova - Bubblegum Crisis VS Leilani - Reverse 1999 Reona West - Prism Paradise VS Zizel - Witch’s Heart

PART FOUR - 12 / 20 Mercymorn - The Locked Tomb VS Selene Ambrose - Midnight Train Tsubasa Hamori - Ensemble Girls VS Yamine Renri - UTAU Bluebell Candy - Magical Girl Raising Project VS Akoyo Gero - Cute High Earth Defense Club Maria Cadenzavna Eve - Symphogear VS Suzuki Miyu - You and I Are Polar Opposites Ryuu Zaou - Cute High Earth Defense Club VS Ashu Yuta - B-Project Chizuru Yakumo - Ensemble Girls VS Aries Spring - Astra Lost in Space Mangetsu Kohinata - Granbelm VS Azumi Shiratori - Nyanko Days Araya Endo - Assault Lily VS Amy - Grand Chase